#cdd protector

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

"I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy" well I fucking would

[rainbow-glittery-gutz]

if u come at me with a "source" on endos that mentions being transgender, tulpa, or even the word sysmed

im not fucking reading ur source

CDD is NOT comparable to being transgender AT ALL

tulpamacy is a CLOSED PRACTICE

and SYSMED IS ONE OF THE MOST TRANSPHOBIC TERMS IVE EVER SEEN AND NO ONE FUCKING LISTENS TO US TRANSGENDERS WHEN WE SAY IT.

you CANNOT BE TRANSPLURAL. thats NOT how disorders work

you CANNOT make the brain randomly start splitting. CDDS develope AS A CHILD

THEYRE A FORM OF PROTECTION. DID IS YOUR BRAIN BEING TOO OVERWHELMED AS A CHILD TO HANDLE TRAUMA THAT IT PUTS UP AMNESIA BARRIERS TO PROTECT ITSELF. NOT SILLY CHARACTERS IN YOUR HEAD.

ALTERS ARE NOT THE ONLY SYMPTOM OF DID.

and even if in the slightest chance you can have alters without amnesia and trauma, it is NOT CDD

reminder that in the dsm5 it literally says "if the symptoms are caused by a religious practice, or reported not caused by trauma, DID should not be diagnosed"

"oh but doctors are studying endos" THATS LIKE 2 DOCTORS COMPARED TO A MILLION OTHER PROFESSIONALS AND RELIABLE SOURCES STATING OTHERWISE. YOUR SOURCE IS BULLSHIT

[mystery-aberration]

System roles do not have to be your entire identity. You do not have to conform to the stereotypes of them, and you do not have to hold your role alone or without help. You do not need to keep them forever, either. They may be what you were placed into the system to help with, and they may be something you are good at--but it does not have to be you forever.

I am a persecutor, and that does not mean I should be treated differently or harmed. Being a persecutor does not mean that everyone should be scared of you by default either.

Protectors should not be expected to be strong and emotionless walls to put in front of everything all the time. They do not need to be tools.

Comforters might need a break to unload their own stress and need comfort in turn. They do not need to give all of themselves to everyone else and never expect help back.

Littles may not be littles forever, and should not be devalued just because they are children. They are just as real and alive as any other system member and should be taken into account.

Trauma/memory holders might need help to cope with the things they hold, and sometimes when the time is right it means sharing that burden. Maybe there is no right time, but they deserve support whether they can share those memories or not.

Gatekeepers may need a break from controlling switches or access to front, and should be allowed one if needed. Gatekeeping can be a lot of work.

Hosts do not need to do everything for the body or system all the time. Sometimes, being the host of a system can be hard, and support and breaks are deserved.

Systems often put a lot of weight on roles, and it can impact the way that those who have them can feel about their role. It is okay to fit into your role, but it is also okay to not fit, or to end up not fitting your role over time. Some headmates can feel like a failure if they do not uphold their role, some can feel like they have no other choice even if they wanted to not perform it. But a role is a description, it is not an essence of who you are and will forever be. This may be non-traditional but we use roles exclusively as self descriptors so that we do not get wrapped up in what we "should be". If the label no longer fits, or if you need help more than you might have in the past, that is okay.

Be kind to yourselves, and be kind to your other headmates.

[littlest-bugz]

How it feels when you split a new alter and they know nothing about why they split

[sysventing]

We are fully allowed to curate our experience here, and that includes this specific side blog. We are fully allowed to block those who make us uncomfortable or trigger us. And we are FULLY allowed to disallow interaction from a group of people who actively harm minors, poc, animals, and disabled folx.

The idea that we’re not allowed to keep ourselves safe on this blog is wild. Sorry if some of you feel “excluded” but I’m totally fine excluding folx who actively harm others and hide behind the “queer” label.

Yes this is a vent.

Also follow @ex-rq-infirmary

Mod Bat 🦇

[outergodly]

𓏵 Familial Socializer｡ 

A flag for a type of socializer alter who only socializes with family. This alter may also be able to force other alters out of the front or put them in dissociative states while fulfilling these interactions.

Requested by : @mygraine．

[exorsysm]

i hear a lot of people talk about their split tolerance and how it is low and they hate that

i thought i would share my experiences as part of a system with a high split tolerance since, im sorry but, its not much better.

something bad happens and people just.. go dormant. im the only one pre-syscovery who is still regularly active. right now id say theres only about 4 of us active.

and you think "oh low alter count=easier to deal with=better"

no. CDDs are hard to deal with, period.

we have no active protector. at all. the last one went dormant after dealing with a particularly nasty group of fakeclaimers and we just.. havent had one. hes better at socializing and making up with friends than anyone else and we just. dont know what to do. im not cool like him. but i cant leave his friends hanging. im EXHAUSTED.

[ghxst-system]

i love you protectors

i love you protectors who struggle with your role

i love you protectors who feel overwhelmed sometimes or all the time

i love you protectors who are also persecutors , gatekeepers , prosecutors , caretakers , hosts or any other extra role

i love you protectors who hate your role sometimes or all the time

[germplush]

hello. i am Scarlet Doe.

i am an objet alter. i am a protector. i have a human form. i am plush F.A.O red dragon. i am genderless and sexless, they/it pronouns. i am ageless, but an adult. i have. brittish accent, doesn't come out when fronting. - Scarlet Doe

[jwi-coins-stuff]

enraged protector (alter term)

a term used to describe an alter that's both a protector and an anger holder. an enraged protector may protect their system and headmates in ways that are heavily influenced by the feelings of anger they hold. this term can be combined with other system terms.

(flag by @ambonexus)

[image ID: a five-striped flag (one with an irritated/angry emoji-style face in the center with a watermark reading "@Cowboyhat_Lover", and one without). The colors from top to bottom are: dark red, muted red, light orange, muted light orange, pastel orange. end ID]

the emoji in this flag was used making this picrew

[plural-headcanons]

some alternate T.K.O.s with only the protector & persecutor flags because I love him

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

[rainbow-glittery-gutz]

Still loving your headmates while still not wanting DID can absolutely co-exist btw

Someone had the nerves to accuse our co-host of romanticizing DID all bc he vented about not wanting DID while still mentioning he still loves us despite it bc he didn't want us to see it and feel like we were hated

[the-moonjay-forest-system]

Trigger warning: mentions of suicidal ideation, hints towards suicide attempts and self-harm

So it's suicide prevention month, I wanted to talk about my experience as a suicidal alter within a system. It sucks, obviously. I suppose it really sheds light on how the host is the only part that's seen as real and how any part that tries to harm them is deemed as bad. We're all parts of the same damn person the host isn't special! If I'm hurting them then I'm almost always hurting my self!

It's like there's more sympathy towards when the host is struggling with suicidal thoughts and self harm than any other alter but especially the alters who's entire purpose is to hurt the system or to end their life. I guess it's seen as worse because we'd be dragging the other alters down with us (which would happen regardless of which alter takes their life) and there's alters who aren't suicidal and who do want to live so it's selfish to take their life away? But we're all part of the same brain, people are complicated they can believe two things at once but when DID and OSDD1 come into the picture those two conflicting beliefs may be put into different alters, it's still the same thing though. I'm not an evil spirit possessing the body (well I am a ghost alter but you know what I mean) and trying to hurt the poor innocent host I'm the part that split to, in our brains twisted little way, end our life to protect us from further suffering.

The host is allowed to have suicidal thoughts, they're allowed to struggle and because they're too scared to do it themself they'll let me in. But when I do something "bad" they get to come back and be like "Yellow fronted and did this, she's so scary! What if she kills me" as if it's not what they wanted.

Systems, treat your suicidal parts better even if they're scary, even if you don't want to die because repressing and demonising them isn't gonna help. They deserve kindness and understanding just as much as any other part. And if other suicidal alters see this, I know it's hard and like how are we supposed to "get better" when we're just locked away and treaten as monsters but you're not alone and I hope things get better. And I hope anyone reading this struggling with suicidal ideation holds on a little longer. It might sound disingenuous coming from me but I really do mean it.

(Thought we'd add userboxes on alter specific posts we don't have that many saved yet so you just get this from me for now)

[pluralaita]

am i the asshole for calling a protector alter "the mean / angry one"

so, context, i've been questioning DID on and off for about 4 years now (TikTok is what got me to research it, like ACTUALLY research it not just watch a couple of TikTok's lol) and a couple of months ago i realized i have some sort of protector alter after i got in a fight with my dad and they fronted. they had fronted b4 100%, but i always just thought i had anger issues, yk ?? but this time, i could literally FEEL myself be pushed out of front, like it was extremely disorienting and i could hear and see myself doing / saying things that I WASNT DOING.

anyways, because i have no communication w/ my sys, i didnt know what to call this alter, i had names for 2 other alters atp, sarah, whos a caretaker, and i have a basic idea of her appearance, and jack, whos a persecutor and again, basic idea of appearance. but this alter ? nothing, nada, no fucking CLUE

so, i have MaDD, or maladaptive daydreaming disorder, and in one of these daydreams, me (as in me in the daydream) ALSO had did, and in this daydream i referred to this alter as 'the angry one", and instantly i felt this SURGE of emotions that werent mine, like i felt SICK to my stomach, the feelings were so strong i got ripped out of my daydream. like i was just sat in the middle of my room trying to process what was essentially a psychic fuck you.

i realized pretty quickly after that that, yeah, that was a bit shitty of me, and ive been since calling this alter red, but i still feel like they hate me. i mean, idk for SURE, but im scared that they do.

so like. AITA ?

[spirallingmoths]

You are angry because you are love itself