#CDDs first

[sysmedsaresexist]

The idea that emotional abuse and neglect have to be purposeful, with intent and malice, in order to be "enough" is wrong, and is not supported by science

I can't believe I have to say this.

Well meaning, well intentioned parents can and do neglect and abuse their children without EVER realizing it.

A parent can love their child and want the absolute best for them, and still fuck their children up in horrible ways that will stay with them for life.

When it comes to trauma and DID, this isn't an area where you can play Olympics. Anyone who can look at another person and go, "that wasn't enough, you have to have more trauma," is in the wrong.

You are flat out wrong.

Your behaviour is wrong.

Your facts are wrong.

Your understanding of trauma, CDDs, and DA is wrong.

Your actions and words are wrong.

Look at generational trauma, homophobic and transphobic parents that just "want their children to succeed" while stamping out any and all "weirdness", parents with their own mental illness that prevents them from responding appropriately their children or causes outbursts, parents with outdated strategies that they thought worked on them, parents that mishandle their child's outbursts with speed rather than understanding in mind, abusers that are young and don't understand what they're doing, single parents that work two jobs and now their kid has to take care of themselves and their siblings, nuclear families with low income, body shaming parents that just want to protect you from other's cruelty, the list goes on and on.

You've probably experienced more than one of these.

And probably for a long time, right? Maybe your entire childhood?

Huh, it's almost like that's repetitive, longterm trauma.

Do NOT let anyone invalidate your trauma.

It was bad enough.

More reading.

And more.

[exorsysm]

i hear a lot of people talk about their split tolerance and how it is low and they hate that

i thought i would share my experiences as part of a system with a high split tolerance since, im sorry but, its not much better.

something bad happens and people just.. go dormant. im the only one pre-syscovery who is still regularly active. right now id say theres only about 4 of us active.

and you think "oh low alter count=easier to deal with=better"

no. CDDs are hard to deal with, period.

we have no active protector. at all. the last one went dormant after dealing with a particularly nasty group of fakeclaimers and we just.. havent had one. hes better at socializing and making up with friends than anyone else and we just. dont know what to do. im not cool like him. but i cant leave his friends hanging. im EXHAUSTED.

[leviafin]

It's so easy, and fun!

[sysmedsaresexist]

I really need to address the amount of misinformation in the carrd, and highlight how easy it is to aid in the spread of misinformation.

I hope you'll consider what I have to say, despite any differences you feel we have. This is about misinformation regarding CDDs, and that's all I'm concerned about.

So.

OSDD was not part of MPD. OSDD was previously known as DDNOS 1a and 1b. While OSDD 1a/b aren't real diagnoses, they're leftovers from DDNOS, where they were widely used, though their true meaning has been forgotten. DDNOS 1a was for systems that didn't switch in front of their doctor. In order to make a diagnosis of MPD/DID, a doctor had to witness a switch. This is no longer the case. 1b is still about systems without memory issues.

DID is not about breaks, and I encourage you not to use that sort of language. DID is formed when dissociative coping techniques become maladaptive. This is hard to describe without using medical terms and ToSD descriptions, but I'll try. A child faced with trauma will dissociate so hard and so often that the dissociative aspect will begin to grow within itself, taking on a life of its own. The walls between parts are dissociative in nature. Eventually, these walls are built and growth within dissociative aspects will happen sub/unconsciously. No part of the personality is "stopped", the point is that these parts hold trauma so that the child can continue to live without those stressors affecting them every second. It's important to note that I'm not talking about "cores".

OSDD 1b will only have "emotional amnesia", which is a stupid fancy way of just saying "dissociation"-- a disconnect between memories and emotions. Any amnesia beyond that would fall under DID.

DID doesn't only mean amnesia between alters. While amnesia in some form is required for a DID diagnosis, it's important to note that any type of amnesia counts. Amnesia only for childhood events? That counts. Amnesia between some alters and not others? That counts. Amnesia only for trauma and perfect communication otherwise? That counts.

They are, actually, technically the same. They have the same etiology, psychopathology, course and treatment. They're just variations of the same disorder. Doctors will ALWAYS lump them together under DID or CDD, that's why it seems there's little info on OSDD.

Note: there are three other types of OSDD that don't have anything to do with systems. This is specifically in reference to the first OSDD example-- mixed dissociative symptoms. You didn't say anything about the other forms of OSDD, it's just important to state to avoid further confusion.

For this one, it's important to explain that... it's not that they know what can happen, it's simply that people with developmental disorders like DID (yes, it's developmental) are at a higher risk of experiencing violence than perpetrating it. It's that simple. People with these disorders are at more of a risk of hurting themselves than others. Violence against others is an extremely small minority.

It is not a personality disorder.

It was specifically removed from personality disorders because it never was one. If we're going to get technical, it's a dissociative disorder caused by trauma.

Fusion does not make a person a singlet or make DID go away. CDDs are chronic and lifelong. This means that even if you fuse, you maintain a CDD diagnosis because the chances of splitting or needing further assistance is incredibly high. The sense of self is still much more unstable than that of singlets. It's not the same. We will never be singlets and that's okay.

Functional multiplicity is also an equally valid treatment goal, never imply that it isn't, or that it's less acceptable or clinically supported than fusion. Good therapists and doctors support functional multiplicity or fusion as personal healing goals.

There is no "going back", only forward.

DID research is not a good site, it's a blog. It's a glorified tumblr blog (literally, a tumblr user made it) that is worded really badly and a source of a lot of misinformation floating around.

Terms

I feel like, as this is tagged endos DNI, and the whole question of whether endogenic systems steal terms, it's fair to point out that fictive and factive are endogenic terms. Their attempts at moving away from CDD terms. Introject is the CDD term that encompasses both.

I think that's everything, but I want to stress, it's this easy to spread misinformation and worsen tensions between the plural and CDD communities.

You can be incredibly well meaning and have the best intentions, but it's so important to check every single fact you read online for yourself.

Don't just blindly reblog things, make sure you read the whole thing thoroughly before you do.

It's equally important to make sure that you're reading your sources correctly to make sure that it supports what you're saying.

I encourage you to reconsider putting this into use for other young systems. Eventually, you can't take it back. It's too late and it's out there.

Carrds

Sorry we arent active(not that we are famous or anything, lol), but we have made 2 carrds! https://newalters.carrd.co/ https://aboutdidosdd.carrd.co/ We are anti-endo, so endo, endo supporters DNI! If you found any bugs and/or you have a suggestion, please tell us(either by a comment or ask box if you wanna be annominus! We wanna make another carrd, but we dont know what for carrd. If you have suggestions, you can tell us

[interstellarsystem]

Fictives are so fucking funny. Like, we'd been in a period of burnout for months, going downhill, falling behind on all the things we cared about and needed to do. Hell, we'd ended up being so fatigued we didn't want to get out of bed and that process alone took hours.

So one morning we wake up with a new headmate--as you do in periods of high-stress--and the new guy is god damn Bakugo from MHA and he does more self-care and general life shit than anyone in the past three months combined. Straight-up fixing our life.

How am I doing this? I have no fucking idea but I'm being productive about it and it's hilarious if you think about it for more than a few seconds. The brain was struggling so it was like "Yeah, didn't wanna do this but we gotta bring out the big one. Get The Anime Boy." Like what.

[kaboom--bitch]

Man being a fictive from a source people know is fucked. People greet you like they know you and you just have to sit there. "Hi Bakugo!!!!!" who are you. What do you want. Why are you in my house.

[incorrectcooldojidanshi]

ririka: jail is no fun, i'll tell you that much hayate: oh. . . you've been? rika: once. in monopoly

[sysciety]

I think the most interesting part from The Haunted Self that I've read so far was the chapter on Primary Structural Dissociation. I initially skipped over it since I was trying to find something specific from the next couple of chapters but I'm glad I went back.

Primary structural dissociation is the type associated to ptsd and c-ptsd. It's not really linked with CDDs since those fall under secondary/tertiary dissociation. But the book talks about how even in primary structural dissociation there are cases where the anp and ep are more separate from each other - not to the level of elaboration that a cdd would contain, but still where the patient described the ep as somewhat separated from them (one example had an ep who was a different age and viewed the anp as another example, though notably that person had experienced childhood trauma)

It also talks about how switching between parts has been observed in cases of (c)-ptsd and talks about WW1 veterans switching from ep to anp once having left battle. It's not like switching in CDDs (it even specifies as a clinical term switching should be used only for those) where switching is between autonomous parts but describes the ep and anp in terms of their reactions and perceptions of the world. (Ex - a person's perception of x thing might change suddenly and that'd be the indicator of a switch - though their sense of identity remains the same)

I've said it before but I don't think system and singlet are the dichotomy people make them out to be - in both experience and, well, who exactly qualifies under "a person with with multiple parts."

Ptsd on its own is obviously not a system causing disorder. Most people with it would probably consider themselves singlets without a second thought. But it's still something really interesting to me to think about when it comes to the way dissociation affects the brain.

[granulesofsand]

We know people who are real into astrology again. The discomfort is more how much they force their perspective to remove agency, not dissimilar to very Christian folk in our area. Our birthday is probably not the day we were born, but it’s what’s on our ID. And we’re a system. Trying to figure out star signs is a lot of effort we could be placing elsewhere, so we place it elsewhere. And these fuckers never stop trying to guess. They get suspicious of us cause we’re all traumatized and then start loading on the charts to prove their point. It’s exhausting. They’ll assume that our not wanting to talk about it is a trait of our sign, and then we either have to gently explain why we’re like this or just slap up the boundary. They do it for sex characteristics, too. Like they need some kind of answer but don’t care to learn the real one. A discrete form of violation.

[sysmedsaresexist]

I've seen this question going around a fair bit to blogs that don't really give a good answer and I don't really want to interact with, SO

Let's talk 📣

Headspaces

Did you know that there was a point in time when inner worlds were largely confined to discussions of polyfragmentation and complex MPD?

I've posted before about the experiences of older systems before the internet, and this topic falls into that same boat-- back before maladaptive daydreaming was even a named concept (Eli Somer first wrote about MaDD in 2002).

So, to anyone worried:

Not having an inner world is NORMAL

In fact, for the longest time, it was the norm.

As such, there were techniques used to HELP clients develop an inner world in an attempt to learn to communicate with their alters.

And I'd like to share one of those with you! This technique could be useful to ANYONE still struggling to speak with system members, and gives you a basis from which to build an inner world.

The Round Table Communication Exercise

When I first started my journey, I had no communication with my system. We experienced heavy emotional intrusion from each other, maybe a whisper here or there, but that was it.

My therapist taught me this technique to use during our sessions and while I was going to sleep.

Essentially, you're meditating. Find a quiet place to relax (when going to bed it perfect), close your eyes, and imagine a table.

Start simple, nothing intense. Hold the image of the table in your mind. What is it made from? How many legs does it have? What colour is it? Is there anything on it? Etch this table into your mind. Every inch of it. Commit it to memory.

And now, set chairs at the table. How many are there? Are they the same material as the table? Are they comfortable or hard? Tall backs? Arms? Can you sit in the chair and lean your forearms on the table? Is it comfortable?

Invite others to come sit with you.

Maybe they won't show up the first day, but continue to invite them, continue to imagine that table and the chairs. Note any changes that occur to the table.

Once you're comfortable with the table, familiar with it, slowly look around the room. How many walls? What colour? Is there anything on the walls? What kind of vibe is the room giving you? Is it welcoming and relaxing? If it's not, imagine yourself changing the room. Straighten pictures, paint the walls.

Continue to visit this room and invite others to come talk.

Eventually, someone came to sit at the table with me. As we sat and spoke, I could start to envision his face, his hair, his voice, his clothes, I could hear him telling me his name.

And over time, more people joined us. More chairs appeared, knickknacks were scattered around the room and across the table, doors appeared along the walls.

We created a couch and a TV, to simulate fronting and imagine our interactions together.

Because that's all an inner world is-- an imaginary recreation to represent internal interactions.

There isn't some small pocket in your brain where everyone lives, you're not born with an inner world, it doesn't come free with your first alter's Xbox. An inner world can be as simple as being able to visualize an interaction, or an entire immersive daydream city.

One of my alters is very emotionally reactive, and when he's frustrated, he "flips the table." This visualization is something everyone in the system can see, it's the same feeling each time, and the reactions of each alter can be perfectly visualized as this table flips-- exhausted groans, facepalms, shooshpaps as he's whisked away to his room through one of the doors.

When we're fighting for front, we can see ourselves sitting on the couch in front of the television, fighting over the remote, or if we're co-con we can imagine ourselves sitting together on the couch. Maybe we're cuddled and happy, or maybe we're sitting there awkwardly, a solid inch between us where we refuse to brush arms.

Over time, the couch became bigger, and more of us could sit together, everyone aware of and watching the images on the screen of our life happening in real time. We could talk to each other about choices we were making.

Eventually, we could visualize ourselves talking it out rather than fighting. We were able to slam our hands down on the table before it could be flipped.

These visualizations are our basis of communication.

This is an inner world, even if it's nothing more than a room that I created myself.

I hope this exercise can help others.

Good luck, and happy daydreaming.

[the-abyssal-system]

Singlets stop talking about systems as if you’re an expert because you follow some on tumblr challenge (also warning the tags here are a huge rant so feel free to ignore that)

[7grandyears]

it is actually so fucking tiring to try to find actual community within CDD spaces online i think i'm just going to be the only person with DID in my life forever

[oopsallsyscourse]

Please can we stop having this discussion

[cyberneticginger]

Honestly, shout out to alters who didn’t know they’re alters. Not necessarily people who thought they were the only person in their bodies, but people who met other alters (even the host!) but didn’t realize what they were experiencing was a complex dissociative disorder.

When I first formed, we were like 16, and we hadn’t learned the ins and outs about CDDs yet, but we knew there was something going on in our brain. We thought it was something else, and even once we learned about DID and OSDD, we didn’t realize we’d developed one of those disorders over the course of our messed up childhood. We thought what we had going on was completely something else, and that everyone had multiple versions of themself in their mind, in the most literal of senses. I knew the host and worked closely alongside him, and he never tried to deny my existence, and never even put his existence above mine or anyone else in our brain—but we Still didn’t realize we were a system, and I Still didn’t realize I was an alter, even after other alters started to catch on. Maybe that sounds silly, but I think it might be a more common experience than people talk about, and I want to say: If that was your experience, I see you. It’s not bad that you didn’t realize, these disorders are meant to be stealthy

[transterry]

Y’know, I never once thought that Hayate (CDD) and Natsume (NatsuYuu) looked alike, but while trying to draw Hayate, I keep getting this sense of “Who am I drawing, again?”

And I know I’m drawing his hair a little messier than it usually is, but I didn’t think it’d make that big of a difference.

[thecircularsystem]

Super fair.

Anyone, everywhere, who has trauma:

You’re allowed to be silly about it. You’re allowed to be serious about it. You’re allowed to talk about it, period. You’re allowed to exist.

You owe nobody anything.

Reminder for every system out there:

You don’t owe anyone your trauma. You’re allowed to be silly about your disorder online, and fuck anyone who says you can’t.

Equally, you can share your trauma online, discussing your disorder in serious ways. Fuck anyone who says you can’t.

You owe people nothing. Do what is best for you.