#but we tend to have this problem of believing we have to accommodate to literally what the other ppl say

[new-moon-3]

(not trying to go against anyone here, just a little note of a thought I had while reading this!/gen)

As a person who studies sociology, I cant really call my practice a religion personally because 1 it doesn't feel right nor accurate, maybe its bc of the christian propaganda around literally everywhere, maybe not, and 2 because from this discipline's perspective, religion is more of a social concept, an agent of unification between members of a community, society, etc. This is why so many actual religions and practices were colonized along with the people, lands and cultures, and why there are like only 3 or maybe 4 worldwide spread along with different interpretations, etc, and having christianity as one of the most well-known even when you don't even care for it at all (for example when horror movies constantly use this one) -this is globalization's work, basically.

So now we have the question, can a minority's belief be considered a religion? Im talking about minority in the way that is not concentrated in one space, in one countable way like others do, or doesn't have a current culture following it. What about when multiple people form their own communities but online, does that make them suddenly a "real" religion? Do we need institutions to have religions or use that term in the first place? What about ppl who practice alone, secretly?

Do We "Work With" the Gods?

Lately I've been seeing #witchblr posts in my feed more often. Honestly, it’s incredibly exhausting to see witchcraft treated as synonymous with pagan/polytheist/non-Christian practices when it isn’t. Worship is not witchcraft and witchcraft is not worship. Wicca is it’s own belief system, and it deserves to be respected as such.

Worship of the Theoi isn’t witchcraft—it’s prayer, devotion, faith. Sure, a spell can be an act of prayer and worship, but that doesn’t mean prayer and worship of the gods is witchcraft too.

It’s just frustrating to see how prevalent neopagan/Wiccan concepts and ideas are in the pagan/polytheist community. It breaks my heart to see young polytheists afraid to pray or give offerings because they’ve been convinced that “deity work” or “working with” a god is dangerous, difficult, or required to even approach the gods.

The Theoi are present and real. We can and should ask them for help, and build kharis with them. Building a devotional relationship with the gods does require work, but that doesn't mean we are "working with" the gods in the same manner as witchcraft practitioners, nor do we have to.

Religion is not a dirty word. Faith and prayer are not exclusive to Christianity or Abrahamic faiths. We do not have to practice witchcraft to be valid pagans or approach the gods. Worship of the gods is open to all. The Theoi are with us; pray, and have faith they will listen.

[lifewithchronicpain]

New research details how children with disabilities are ignored and devalued by doctors and other health care providers, potentially leading to substandard care.

In interviews, parents of kids with complex medical needs reported that their children were treated differently and provided limited accommodations when seeking medical treatment. Parents recalled situations where they were told that care could not be provided because of a child’s disability, instances where providers talked to them and not their child and circumstances where they were essentially told not to bother with treatment.

The experiences are outlined in a study published this week in the journal Pediatrics that’s based on interviews with 30 family caregivers of children ages 18 months to 18 years with medically complex conditions across 15 states. Most of the children involved in the study required some type of health care more than 20 times per year.

“Our goal was to validate families’ experiences and bring awareness to the issue,” said Dr. Stefanie Ames, a critical care physician at University of Utah Health who led the study. “Recognizing the problem is the first step.”

One caregiver told the researchers that her child was given inadequate pain relievers during a procedure and another said a doctor advised against treating her daughter’s cancer even though the treatment was likely to be successful.

“They didn’t treat her like she was really alive,” one caregiver said. “They absolutely looked at her as if she was a vegetable and completely nonresponsive, which is not the case.”

Another study participant recalled the response she got from a physician about reading to her daughter.

“(The doctor said), ‘Well, you can (read) if it makes you feel better, but she’s not really learning, and she’s not really responding like other kids. She responds like a dog.’ That’s literally what he said. Those were his words, and you think this is the clinic for people with special health care needs.”

Overall, the family caregivers interviewed said that they believed the main reasons for the discrimination their children experienced were rooted in limited knowledge about caring for kids with complex medical needs, a disinterest in providing care to children seen as unworthy and negative assumptions about a child’s disability and quality of life.

In an commentary published in Pediatrics alongside the study, Dr. Stacey Cook, Dr. Sangeeta Mauskar and Dr. Jay G. Berry, who all specialize in caring for children with medical complexity at Boston Children’s Hospital, indicated that there’s good reason to believe that the trends identified in the study are emblematic of what’s happening more broadly.

“We believe that the disheartening findings presented in Ames et al are true and generalizable. Throughout our training and careers across institutions in all US geographic regions, we have repeatedly heard derogatory language used when pediatric providers present and discuss (children with medical complexity),” they wrote, citing the example of a child with medical complexity being called “a trainwreck kid.”

Those behind the study said that the findings point to a need for better training about disabilities for medical providers.

“I believe that all health care providers choose this line of work because of the common goal of helping those in need,” said Dr. Nancy Murphy of the University of Utah. “Yet when providers lack the knowledge, experience or resources to render care, we tend to shy away from situations. This tends to happen without our awareness, and this research brings this issue into clear view.”

[reborrowing]

I live in an otherwise normal city and work an otherwise normal job with people I believe are normal until they suddenly forget how to act like a person whenever they see a literally normal person who happens to have a disability or be black/any other visible racial minority.

the gt fics with 'this is a completely integrated different-size society but oops we have no idea how to behave around a person of a different size' hits a bit too close to reality for me

No yeah I feel like that is kind of my problem with it, indirectly?

This kind of setting tries to invert it where it actually is The Norm is to be totally fine and accepting of the opposite size because there’s never anything to reflect that people get weirded out or discriminatory except for the protagonists and maybe one evil bully (to the point it’s vague and unclear which size would even be the socially disadvantaged party). So it kinda feels like the POV characters are going out of their way to be uncomfortable with the other class.

Racism and ableism and sexism tend to persist, or are implied to exist by a lack of diversion from real world modern western culture (and sometimes history, if it’s not a completely different planet), which makes this equality of sizes feel…bizarre. Like we cant consistently accommodate people who need mobility aids without people bitching about it, North America in particular struggles to build with pedestrian safety in mind, but building a whole secondary infrastructure for tinies to safely navigate town is no sweat, for some reason. It gets this uncanny feeling that distracts me from anything else going on I guess

[the-masked-society]

I remember a while ago that we came across a video of a system on tiktok. They said something along the lines of "how dangerous it can be to tell someone what your roles are", "and especially if you are a trauma holder," and more along those lines.

Now I don't know this system, I don't even remember their account name, and I don't plan to go looking for it since it doesn't matter, but the fact people think that is pretty dumb :/

Like yeah I can stand behind that statement if you go around sharing your triggers or your trauma, but mostly that doesn't happen until you like trust the person a lot and believe they won't go around and play gossip girl with it.

They specifically said "telling people you are a trauma holder", and that's baffling, cause that's only a statement that can make people know that this specific alter is more sensitive and need more caution and care than most others. It is literally only a label, nothing more. Saying that can be dangerous to the alter is the same as saying that protectors shouldn't say that they are ones, because people will take advantage of that. How?

Having a protector or two who doesn't make it known to outsiders that they are ones until needed is a pretty good idea, and we have experience with those too, but the purpose of a protector is to be like 'nah uh here's the boundary of how much of your shit I can tolerate before I'll do something about it', and then do it. How can that be harmful to them? They enforce boundaries for the sake of everyone and make sure no one do something they don't need to do

Some trauma holders tend to hold a lot of mixed things to not burden others with remembering or dealing with the emotional baggage of them, and cause of this some are meek in nature and wouldn't speak up if they go through a situation they don't like. Even if that's a online deal and they get talked over. The fact they're making others aware can be good for them because this way they'll be treated with the patience they deserve.

Like telling someone in real life of any physical problems you got or disabilities you struggle with. You can get the accommodations you deserve to have. It doesn't really make you that vulnerable unless you speak more about it and tell how does it trouble you, which can make it a bit more troubling.

Like yeah, If you plan to go share about every single thing about yourself in great details online,, you probably shouldn't do it, especially if you are a trauma holder. But if you're just here to chill and dissociate from life like me, than it gets pretty stupidly annoying to see people tell you what you can and should or shouldn't do.

Like thank you I'm a big kid If I can survive on the internet I can handle myself pretty good :/

- Sincerely, a trauma holder

[raindrenchedstories]

Random Drabble 3, I don’t believe it

Prompt: The item the protagonist worked so hard to get is fake. Characters: Archibald, Richter

The thing in his hand, was supposed to be a genuine Kelpie’s stone. An artifact capable of calling a powerful beast to be his companion and partner in magic. Instead, he got a tiny, very confused human. The man lay sprawled on the giants table eyes wide at the site before him.

“Just... fantastic.” Archibald huffed, he leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. Humans were not naturally occurring in his world, so he couldn’t say he didn’t get anything rare. But the familiar’s stone was supposed to call some great and powerful beast.

Archibald had to keep from growling and drumming his fingers. If for no other reason than not to frighten the poor man on his table. The little fellow was probably having a panic attack by now. The giant pulled himself out of his own head, and shot a glance to the small man.

Instead of fear, he saw awe and wonder. Archibald just stared back “Are you-”

“GRANDPA WAS RIGHT!” The man threw his arms into the air, falling backwards in the process. Archibald wasn’t quite fast enough to break his fall, sadly. The human thumped his head on the table, but still remained smiling.

“I don’t... understand.” The giant lay himself partially on the table, so the human wouldn’t have to look up quite so far. Though he hadn’t expected the human to spring up and begin examining him. It was a testament to Archibald’s patience that he allowed the human to poke and prod along his skin.

“Ah, sorry. My grandfather told stories about my great great grandfather. He spoke about how my family used to be related to some great and powerful monster. I just thought he was telling me fairy tales to build my confidence when I was just a kid but...” The man trailed off.

“Wait. So you’re related to, but are not a Kelpie?” He’d spent all that time, making a lake and appropriate bog for the horse like creature. The man in question just sighed miserably.

“If my grandfather is to be believed, I’m part Kelpie, but my great great grandfather married a human woman.” Richter groaned. “Because that’s what horse monsters do apparently.”

Archibald hummed. “Well they are capable of taking human form. And complex speech. So it makes sense. So he fell in love with your great great grandmother. I supposed he passed at some point. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to call you.”

“I was told there was a chance someone would find my ancestor’s whatever it was. But I’m sorry, why is it a rock?” Richter pointed to the object he’d been called with. “Shouldn’t it be a bridle or something?”

Archibald hummed. “When things are banished to another realm, it tends to be with a more permanent object. Like a stone. They can only return as another person’s familiar. Or their youngest living relative. Which is apparently you.”

Richter paused, running his hand over his familiar’s stone. “Wait. Does that mean I’m your familiar now?”

“Well we haven’t built up a contract, so no. Not yet. But the option is theoretically on the table.” Archibald’s mind was working a mile a minute now. The fact that this man was human wasn’t such a problem now. He still had some of his ancestor’s power. Though he was unsure how much would still reside in the human.

Richter himself was putting some thought into it. Things were hard in his own world. But then, he wasn’t quite sure what the giant would hope to gain from him. What did a familiar DO exactly? There was also the thought that he might have to literally move to another dimension, and he wasn’t sure if he could bring his belongings.

“I won’t be opposed to it... But I think I need some time to well. Get prepared. Do I get an apartment or do I just live here?” Richter pointed generally around the room.

“You’d have a sort of pocket dimension. I did set up some accommodations for someone like your ancestor. I could put in whatever an apartment is. If you like. Just describe it to me. You might have a water feature though.” Archibald drummed his fingers.

Richter only gawked. “A pocket dimension. Okay. Do I get to move my furniture in?”

“From your home... Probably? I wasn’t prepared for these complications. William is going to have a field day with this.”

“Who’s William?” Richter began making a mental plan for his new apparent role in life. Including cancelling electric bills, water, and trying to parse out if moving companies would even cover cross dimensional transport. He was guessing no.

“My husband.” Archibald answered flatly. “He’s going to love having you about. The man is a human fanatic. You’ll probably meet him soon.”

As if on cue, a set of keys began jingling. Both men glanced towards the door.

[itsblueberry13-blog]

#This is the single greatest essay on the Doyelism of Bruce Wayne's abuse I have ever read#OP I love you#THIS IS WHY I'M HERE#Batverse is the most nuanced and sympathetic portrayal of an abused family and realistic portrayal of an abuser I have ever encountered#The only thing that came close was the first three seasons of Supernatural#John Winchester was never just one thing in the narrative before mid-S3#after that the show decided to make Dean the biggest woobie there ever was and it all went down the toilet#there's so much complexity and tragedy and aching humanity in real life abusive relationships#it's the difference between humanized portrayal and apologia#it's why so many antis belong to the Good Dad Bruce cult. Purity culture runs on binaries of good and bad#The idea of acknowledging Bruce as an abusive father and empathizing with him as a scared and broken human being#acknowledging that toxic love exists#accepting that giving an abusive parent the opportunity to redeem himself and reconcile with his kids#is actually the best thing for them all#it requires a kind of compassion and nuance and tolerance that the black and white thinking of antis simply can't accommodate#I think it's also why I feel like fandom has changed for the worse since the '00s#people used to be fans of the Batverse because it was a fucked up family. queer people in particular saw ourselves in the uncategorised#unspoken and conflicted relationships that spoke to our understanding of kinship and found family#we related to those jagged and unlovely edges#but ig the reboot attracted younger readers who saw themselves in the children#and wanted the kind of uncomplicated respectable nuclear family they want for themselves#there is such a rejection of anything transgressive or...messy in the pop cultural landscape now. everything must fit into boxes.#the tags are getting away from me but yeah#the Batfam as it is is *important*#and it's on the fandom to acknowledge the story for what it is before engaging with that whatever way they want to#bat meta#favourite#anti bruce wayne

By @spite-and-waffles

#bruce wayne#totally agree with all of this#though i think it's notable that his internal narration is actually very rarely 'i'd never hurt my kids'#he's usually written as constantly thinking about how he has hurt and could hurt his proteges#but it's more a part of his guilt complex where he both is and isn't personally responsible because 'being close to him is dangerous'#and so his solution is to put them at a further emotional distance. which does not help at all#the most glaring example of this is batman and robin eternal#which is just dozens of issues of dick and jason and tim discussing how hurtful he's been as a parental figure#and bruce knows that he is (though his idea of what part of his behavior is hurtful is different from theirs)#but ultimately the narrative implies that the real problem is the emotional distance he's been creating to 'solve' this#and then hilariously we never even see him choose to not do the emotional distance thing#because he literally had amnesia during the entire story and thus was not there to learn any lessons from the conflict#although you do get a sense that the only reason the kids are discussing how he hurt them is BECAUSE he's not there#so there's that#still cannot believe the heartwarming emotional climax of the story that reassures everyone bruce loves them#is literally damian just telling them that actually bruce DOES talk positively about them all the time. just not to their face#do tynion and snyder have siblings??? because it's usually a bad sign when parents only praise a child behind their back to the OTHER child#anyway i think it's interesting that even when writers are in the 'loving' step of the cycle#(or just trying to prove that bruce IS a good parent deep down. which is what a lot of the 'loving' step tends to boil down to)#bruce's behavior is STILL not in line with what a responsible caregiver's would be

By @forevercloudnine

#(additional thesis: the format of long form comics has accidentally made bruce a shockingly realistic abuser too.) That would be an amazing essay!

okay, this is gonna be a lot more stream of consciousness and less polished than the post these asks are in response too, but i have finally looped back around to wanting to talk about it so here goes.

First off, I don't mean to say that Bruce is, like, the most realistic depiction of an abuser ever. When I say "shockingly" I mean it less like "very" and more like "it's shocking how close they got considering literally none of this was intentional."

We talk a lot about the inherent flaws in a massive comic universe like this--so many different writers and different books and different eras bring different ideas to a character. And when that goes bad, it's awful. You end up with characters who have no baseline personality at all, who act in incomprehensible ways, who are blatantly dancing to the whims of the current writers.

But also, there's something to that exact same trapping of the medium that I love. Because people are people; we have personalities, but none of us are the same person at every moment of every day. And in a weird and accidental way, comics can hit on that so well. Different writers show the same character from slightly different angles, different eras give the most gradual character development achieved in possibly any medium, and you end up with beautifully complicated and multifaceted and dynamic characters. (Who, yes, also all have some stories that are just terrible outliers, but we're going with the average here, alright.)

So. To Bruce. And being an abusive parent.

accidental nuance.

The thing about a lot of fictional abusers is that they're completely, obviously awful all the time. They live perpetually at 100%. They walk on stage just to do something abusive, and then walk off stage until their next cue to be cruel. (There are also very nuanced and genuine portrayals of abuse out there, but let me compare and contrast here)

But Bruce? Occasionally Bruce is really great to his kids and manages to support them just how they need it. More often he makes some attempt, but can't really get there (typically because he refuses to show the degree of emotional openness that his kids need). Sometimes he just kinda doesn't consider his kids or their feelings, or he cuts them down, or he relies on them to support him. Periodically, he is so blatantly awful it's obvious to everyone.

I threw out a brief comment in that post about "a parent who is nice to their kids sometimes and abusive other times is the definition of an abusive parent" and that's exactly it. The person who is always 100% awful surely does exist somewhere, but that's not really...the most common scenario.

No matter how good or bad a parent Bruce is, he is never a flat supporting character (on account of, yknow, being dc’s single most popular character with a million starring roles). He doesn’t appear in comics just to be abusive and then leave. Even when he appears in, say, a single issue of a comic about one of his kids to act as an antagonistic force, you can guarantee he’s simultaneously appearing as the hero in another book.

And most mediums just...don’t have 80+ years to slowly build this story of a man getting gradually more closed off, getting less supportive towards his kids, then more likely to lash out, and escalating the frequency with which he does, until it’s a predictable pattern, while also having the space to maintain him as a character completely separate from his children.

cycles.

This is absolutely the most unintentional of all, and yet.

The perpetual rotation of comics writers with different ideas on Batman and his parenting approximates something...weirdly close to a realistic cycle of abuse. In the shortest description possible, that cycle is: abuser escalates -> reaches their worst point -> acts super nice and loving again in the wake of things -> repeat. And like...how many times has Bruce being abusive to his kids under one writer been followed by another writer portraying him as more open and understanding and kind to them? How many times has he insisted (even in private narration) he never hurts his kids, despite obvious history to the contrary? And he always reverts back to hurting them.

And, of course, looking at any of those nice moments in isolation, they are just nice. Looking at them with a irl perspective, it’s obviously just a tug-of-war between writers. Bruce saying he’d never hurt his kids isn’t intended to be an aspect of his abuse; it’s intended as a pleasant retcon. He doesn’t always revert to abuse because he’s an abuser with agency; he reverts because he’s a fictional character under multiple writer.

But when I started to look at it with an overall, in-universe perspective...god it is wildly easy to see those moments as the honeymoon period in his ongoing abuse. (And I don’t mean to say that’s the only way to look at them. I acknowledge writer intent and regularly enjoy when Bruce is a good dad. But I also regularly pull back to a big picture view and go like. hm. there’s a pattern here.)

a tangent.

So weirdly, the first thing that made my brain start spiraling in this direction on more than a subconscious level was the way this manifests in fanfic. Like, let's ignore all the fanworks where Bruce is portrayed as a purely good dad for the moment, okay? We're only considering fics where his abuse and flaws as a parent are fully acknowledged. And (in my anecdotal experience) even then, the conclusion is almost never that the kids should just cut him out. The conclusion is about making him a better parent. Or forcing him to at least grapple with his failings. Or giving the kids distance and safety nets, not so they can avoid him, but so they can still interact with him, just in a safer way.

And I don't mean to imply that those are bad conclusions! They are, by and large, written as incredibly compelling and complicated ways to deal with the struggle between "Bruce hurts his kids" and "his kids love him."

But it's a fascinating phenomenon to me. I can't think of a single other fandom I've seen where something like that happens. I can't imagine that flying somewhere else. Even if the protagonist loves their abusive parent or partner, the happy fic ending is always about dissuading them of that notion and getting them away.

...because all those abusers are flat and evil. But Bruce is too complicated to dismiss. Even if you do hate him, you understand the kids loving him, and you want happiness for them.

“realism” and the important point.

In terms of art and storytelling and, idk, getting at the heart of the human condition or whatever, depicting an abuser with depth and realism and ups and downs is valuable on its own. And art has inherent value as art, but in terms of “does this improve the world,” it’s also valuable to portray abusers as human so we can understand and be able to address abuse.

But the part that feels even more important to me is how key that is for the kids.

When you see the other kind of fictional abuser--the 100% evil one--you hate them from the start, because of course you do. And you hate them the whole way through. And when their victim is having complicated feelings about it, you're maybe thinking "ah, yes, I am aware that abuse is difficult and can mess with your head" but you aren't really feeling it. This person is so obviously evil. And you'd never say it about a real person, with real feelings, but with this fictional character...why do they even care about their abuser? Why do they have mixed feelings when this piece of fiction is so clearly black and white?

The thing about Bruce is that (even if you are jaded and hate him now) there was probably a time when you really wanted him to be a good parent. He's Batman! He doesn't walk on stage just to be evil; he walks on stage to be the hero, or the mentor, or the teammate, and that's how you meet him. And then you see him with his kids, and it's so easy to latch onto the nice moments. It's so tempting to point back to better times--forgetting or ignoring his flaws in those eras too.

He was a nice guy, even if he wasn't perfect. He's more closed off, but he's still trying. Okay, he hit his adult son once, but it was in a really dark moment, you see. Well maybe he's done it a few times. Look, though, he's being a great dad right now! Alright he manipulates his kids regularly and gives them little positive feedback, but he's a good dad underneath, really, we've seen it. Okay so maybe now he periodically hits a kid out of nowhere and then pretends it never happened, but he's not hitting anyone in between!

You can just...really easily put yourself in his kid’s shoes and get it, even if you’re simultaneously condemning Bruce from an objective third person perspective. Because Bruce was never introduced to be hated, never introduced to be evil. He just hurts them anyway.

[tarobytez]

disability in the Six Of Crows Duology; an analysis of Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, and the fandom’s treatment of them.

****Note: I originally wrote this for a tiktok series, which im still going to do, but i wanted to post here as well bc tumblr is major contributor to what im going to talk about

CW: ableism, filicide, abuse

In the Six of Crows duology, Leigh Bardugo delicately subverts and melds harmful disability tropes into her narrative, unpacking them in a way that I, as a disabled person, found immensely refreshing and…. just brilliant. 

But what did you all do with that? Well, you fucked it up. Instead of critically looking at the characters, y’all just chose to be ableist. 

For the next few videos paragraphs im going to unpack disability theory (largely the stuff surrounding media, for obvious reasons) and how it relates to Six Of Crows and the characterization of Kaz Brekker and Wylan Van Eck, then how, despite their brilliant writing, y’all completely overlooked the actual text and continuously revert them to ableist cariactures.

Disclaimer: 1. Shocker - i am disabled. I have also extensively researched disability theory and am very active in the disabled community. Basically, I know my shit. 2. im going to be mad in these videos this analysis. Because the way y’all have been acting has been going on for a long ass time and im fuckin sick of it. I don’t give a shit about non-disabled feelings, die mad

Firstly, I’m going to discuss Kaz, his play on the stereotypical “mean cripple” trope and how Bardugo subverts it, his cane, and disabled rage. Then, I am going to discuss Wylan, the “inspiration porn” stereotype, caregivers / parents, and the social model of disability. Finally, I will then explain the problems in the fandom from my perspective as a disabled person, largely when it comes to wylan, bc yall cant leave that boy tf alone.

Kaz Brekker

Think of a character who uses a cane (obviously not Kaz). Now, are they evil, dubiously moral, or just an asshole in general? Because nearly example I can think of is: whether it be Lots’O from Toy Story, Lucius Malfoy, or even Scrooge and Mr.Gold from Once Upon A Time all have canes (the last two even having their canes appear less and less as they become better people)

The mean/evil cripple trope is far more common than you would think. Villains with different bodies are confined to the role of “evil”. To quote TV Tropes, who I think did a brilliant job on explaining it “The first is rooted in eugenics-based ideas linking disability or other physical deformities with a "natural" predisposition towards madness, criminality, vice, etc. The Rule of Symbolism is often at work here, since a "crippled" body can be used to represent a "crippled" soul — and indeed, a disabled villain is usually put in contrast to a morally upright and physically "perfect" hero. Whether consciously on the part of the writer or not, this can reinforce cultural ideas of disability making a person inherently inferior or negative, much in the same way the Sissy Villain or Depraved Homosexual trope associate sexual and gender nonconformity with evil. ”

Our introduction to Kaz affirms this notion of him being bad or morally bankrupt, with “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, etc. This mythologized version of himself, the “bastard of the barrel” actively fed into this misconception. But, as we the audience are privy to his inner thoughts, know that he is just a teenager like every other Crow. He is complex, his disability isn’t this tragic backstory, he just fell off a roof. It’s not his main motivation, nor does he curse revenge for making him a cripple - it is just another part of who he is. 

His cane (though the shows version fills me with rage but-) is an extension of Kaz - he fights with it, but it has a purpose. Another common thing in media is for canes to be simply accessories, but while Kaz’ cane is fashionable, it has purpose.

The quote “There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.” is so fucking powerful. Kaz does not want nor need a cure - its said in Crooked Kingdom that his leg could most likely be healed, but he chooses not to. Abled-bodied people tend to dismiss this thought as Kaz being stubborn but it shows a reality of acceptance of his disability that is just, so refreshing.

In chapter 22 of SOC, we see disabled rage done right - when he is called a cripple by the Fjerdan inmate, Kaz is pissed - the important detail being that he is pissed at the Fjerdan, at society for ableism, not blaming it on being disabled or wishing he could be normal. He takes action, dislocating the asshole’s shoulder and proving to him, and to a lesser extent, himself, that he is just as capable as anyone else, not in spite of, but because he is disabled. And that is the point of Kaz, harking back to the line that “there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken”. 

I cried on numerous occasions while reading the SOC duology, but the parts I highlighted in this section especially so. I, as many other disabled people do, have had a long and tumultuous relationship with our disability/es, and for many still struggle. But Kaz Brekker gave me an empowered disabled character who accepts themselves, and that means the world to me. 

Keeping that in mind, I hope you can understand why it hurts so much to disabled people when you either erase Kaz’s disability (whether through cosplay or fanfiction), or portray him as a “broken boy uwu”, especially implying that he would want a cure. That flies in the face of canon and is inherently fucking ableist. (if u think im mad wait until the next section)

Next, we have Wylan.  

Oh fucking boy. 

I love Wylan so fucking much, and y’all just do not seem to understand his character? Like at all? Since this is disability-centric, I’m not going to discuss how the intersection of his queerness also contributes to these issues, but trust me when I say it’s a contributing factor to what i'm going to say.

Wylan, motherfucking Van Eck. If you ableist pricks don’t take ur fucking hands off him right now im going to fight you. I see Wylan as a subversion another, and in my opinion more insidious stereotype pf disabled people - inspiration porn.

Cara Liebowitz in a 2015 article on the blog The Body Is Not An Apology explains in greater detail how inspiration porn is impactful in real life, but media is a major contributing factor to this reality. The technical definition is “the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability” - but that does not cover it fully. 

Inspiration porn does lasting damage on the disabled community as it implies that disability is a negative that you need to “overcome” or “triumph” instead of something one can feel proud of. It exploits disabled people for the development of non-disabled people, and in media often the white male protagonist. Framing disability as inherently negative perpetuates ideals of eugenics and cures - see Autism $peaks’ “I Am Autism” ad. Inspiration porn is also incredibly patronizing as it implies that we cannot take care of ourselves, or do things like non-disabled people do. Because i stg some of you tend to think that we just sit around all day wishing we weren’t disabled. 

Another important theory ideal that is necessary when thinking about Wylan is the experience of feeling like a burden simply for needing help or accommodations. This is especially true when it comes to familial relationships, and internalized ableism.

The rhetoric that Wylan’s father drilled into his head, that he is “defective”, “a mistake”, and “needs to be corrected”, that he (Jan) was “cursed with a moron for a child” is a long held belief that disabled people hear relentlessly. And while many see Van Eck’s attempted murder of Wylan as “preposturous” and overall something that you would never think happens today - filicide (a parent murdering their child) is more common than you would like to believe. Without even mentioning the countless and often unreported deaths of disabled people due to lack of / insufficient / neglectful medical care, in a study on children who died from the result of household abuse, 40 of 42 of them (95%) were diagnosed with disabilities. Van Eck is not some caricature of ableist ideals - he is a real reflection on how many people and family members view disability. 

Circling back to how Wylan unpacks the inspiration porn trope - he is 3 dimensional, he is not only used to develop the other characters, he is just *chefs kiss* Leigh, imo, put so much love and care into the creation of Wylan and his story and character growth that is representative of a larger feeling in the disabled community. 

That being said, what you non-disabled motherfuckers have done to him.

The “haha Wylan can’t read” jokes aren’t and were not funny. Y’all literally boiled down everything Wylan is to him being dyslexic. And it’s like,,,, the only thing you can say about him. You ignore every other part of him other than his disability, and then mock him for it. There’s so much you can say about Wylan - simping for Jesper, being band kid and playing the fuckin flute, literally anything else. But no, you just chose to mock his disability, excellent fucking job!

Next up on “ableds stfu” - infantilization! y’all are so fucking condescending to Wylan, and treat him like a fucking toddler. And while partly it is due to his sexuality i think a larger portion is him being disabled. Its in the same vein of people who think that Wylan and Jesper are romantically one sided, and that Jesper only kind of liked Wylan, despite the canon evidence of him loving Wylan just as much. You all view him as a “smol bean”, who needs protecting, and care, when Wylan is the opposite of that. He is a fucking demolitions expert who suggested waking up sleeping men to kill them - what about that says “uwu”. You are treating Wylan as a burden to Jesper and the other Crows when he is an immensely valuable, fully autonomous disabled person - you all just view him as damaged. 

And before I get a comment saying that “uhhh Wylan isn’t real why do you care” while Wylan may not be real, how you all view him and treat him has real fucking impacts and informs how you treat people like me. If someone called me an “uwu baby boy” they’d get a fist square in the fucking jaw. Fiction informs how we perceive the world and y’all are making it super fucking clear how you see disabled people. 

Finally, I wanted to talk about how the social model of disability is portrayed through Wylan. For those who are unaware, the social model of disability contrasts the medical model, that views the disability itself as the problem, that needs to be cured, whereas the social model essentially boils down to creating an accommodating society, where disability acceptance and pride is the goal. And we see this with Wylan - he is able to manage his father’s estate, with Jesper’s assistance to help him read documents. And this is not out of pity or charity, but an act of love. It is not portrayed as this almighty act for Jesper to play saviour, just a given, which is incredibly important to show, especially for someone who has been abused by family for his disability like Wylan, that he is accepted. 

Yet, I still see people hold up Jesper on a pedestal for “putting up with” Wylan, as if loving a disabled person deserves a fucking pat on the back. It’s genuinely exhausting trying to engage with a work I love so much with a fandom that thinks so little of me and my community. It fucking shows. 

Overall, Leigh Bardugo as a disabled person wrote two incredibly meticulous and empowered disabled characters, and due to either lack of reading comprehension, ableism, or a quirky mix of both, the fandom has ignored canon and the experiences of disabled people for…. shits and giggles i guess. And yes, there are issues with the Grishaverse and disability representation - while I haven’t finished them yet so I do not have an opinion on it, people have been discussing issues in the KOS duology with ableist ideals. This mini series was no way indicative of the entire disabled experience, nor does it represent my entire view on the representation as a whole. These things need to be met critically in our community, and talked about with disabled voices at the forefront. For example, the limited perspective we get of Wylan and Kaz being both white men, does not account for a large portion of the disabled community and the intersection of multiple identities.

All-in-all, Critique media, but do not forget to also critique fandom spaces. Alternatively, just shut the fuck up :)

happy fucking disability pride month, ig

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Lila Rossi: I’d Say She’s a Good Villain, but Then I’d Be Lying (300 Follower Special)

Deception and cunning are easily two of the most important traits an antagonist could have. It shows that even if they don't have the strength to overcome obstacles, their wit is more than enough. This kind of trait is why characters like Lex Luthor, David Xanatos, and Princess Azula are so beloved, simply because of how intelligent they can be as villains and pose a real threat to the heroes.

It's clear that the Miraculous Ladybug writers want Lila to be seen as this, but the writing seriously fails to back that claim up.

Easily one of the most controversial characters in Miraculous Ladybug is Lila, mainly for the writing surrounding her. But there was a time where she was actually more of an ambiguous character, mainly for the lack of screentime she had until Season 3. But unfortunately, the more appearances she's had have painted a very poor portrait of an antagonist.

Lila's Tragic and Sympathetic Motivation for Hating Ladybug

Lila's first appearance was at the tail end of Season 1, “Volpina”. She was a new transfer student from Italy, and quickly made friends with a lot of her classmates for the lies she told, including being friends with Ladybug (which Alya blindly believed without doing any research like any excellent journalist). But because of how close she was getting to Adrien, Marinette, in a rare act of selfishness, transforms into Ladybug just to chew out Lila for lying about knowing her, humiliating her in front of Adrien. And this is the only motivation we get for what Lila does afterwards.

I'm not saying that it's wrong for Lila to get upset at Ladybug for doing this, and I like the moment of weakness Marinette has, but this is literally the only explanation we get for Lila deciding to side with Hawkmoth, a literal terrorist. As much as I hated the way the arc turned out, I could still understand Chloe siding with Hawkmoth, as it was clear that Hawkmoth was manipulating her and taking advantage of her ego. Lila? Ladybug's mean to her one time, and that inspires her to conspire with a complete stranger who brainwashes people to attack the city, which endangers innocent people and causes God knows how much in collateral damage if not for Miraculous Ladybug fixing everything.

I just don't get how a single negative interaction with someone is enough to conspire with a literal supervillain. Even in Season 3, when Marinette and Lila truly became enemies, it was because she risked exposing all the lies she told, which could damage her reputation. Sure, it's petty, but it makes sense for Lila to want to keep up the illusion. If she was simply an antagonist to Marinette in her civilian life like Chloe was before “Miracle Queen” , I'd be fine with that, but the writers clearly want her to be seen as on the same level of evil as Hawkmoth. I'll get into why that doesn't work later on.

Why Lila is an Excellent Liar

In my Master Fu analysis, I had pointed out that despite all the flaws he had, the narrative insisted on portraying him as an incredibly wise mentor. The same problem applies for Lila as well. We're supposed to see Lila as an expert manipulator and liar, but her lies are insultingly obvious. She always claims to be friends with celebrities and does all these awesome things, and in an age where we can have almost any question answered thanks to the internet, nobody ever stops to question her.

It's even more frustrating when you hear Lila talk about saving Jagged Stone's cat, when Jagged Stone is established to be very fond of Marinette (evidentially more than his own daughter), and nobody ever points that out. I think if Lila's lies were more stories about her travels around the world than outright lies about real people, it could have worked. It'd still be hard to believe, but it's something.

But this is a problem with writing shows aimed at children. As much as we hate writers who need to spell out things to kids, sometimes, they just don't understand some of the media they consume. Seriously, I never got this joke in SpongeBob as a kid, and I can't believe Nickelodeon actually approved this.

So the dilemma when writing a show with children in mind is finding that sweet spot between assuming your audience can figure it out, but not being too vague in your details. It's even harder when you need to find a way to convey the fact that someone is lying without being too obvious. Unfortunately, the show clearly fails to do that

Okay, this is going to sound like an incredibly weird thing to cite, and I only know about it because I used to know someone who was a huge fan of the franchise, but the movie Monster High: Friday Night Frights does a better job of subtly explaining to the audience that a character is lying. Please, just hear me out.

The movie follows the main characters competing in their high school's roller derby for the season after everyone on the usual team gets injured, and the championship match is against another school whose team tends to cheat to win matches. How they manage to do this without getting caught is anyone's guess. While the main characters are practicing, their coach, Clawd, notices a spy for the enemy team taking video of them to study their moves. In response, he calls over one of the athletes, Operetta, to chew her out for her showboating attitude. In reality, he's alerting her to the spy. Only using facial expressions, he clues her, and by extension, the audience, in on the fact that they know what the opposing team is trying to do.

This soon leads to Operetta pretending to tell the enemy team about their secret plan for the championship match, which was really an attempt to outsmart them to gain the advantage in the final stretch. The brilliance of this is how the audience is informed of this with no dialogue, and there's no scene afterwards spelling it out for those who don't get it. It manages to convey deception without being too obvious that Clawd and Operetta are being deceitful.

I think if there were more subtle hints to show the audience Lila was lying, she would be seen in a better light. As it is, Lila's lies are just pathetic, and it's ridiculous that everyone believes her. Which leads me to...

Lila, the Master Manipulator

I once read a Star Trek: Voyager fanfic that poked fun at the series by claiming that the reason a lot of the dumber episodes like “Threshold” and “Twisted” happened was because one of the crew members was an alien who unintentionally produced mood altering pheromones, with Captain Janeway actually realizing they were all high because of said pheromones, while two of the unaffected crew members were wondering what the hell they were doing before they found out the cause. Why do I bring this up? Sometimes, it feels like Lila is an unintentional parallel to the alien in that story.

Like so many characters, it's clear the show desperately wants the audience to view Lila in a certain way, but her actions do very little to actually back up that claim. When she's not using lies to tell stories about so many famous people she knows like her uncle who works for Nintendo, Lila is using strategies to manipulate everyone that are so obviously deceptive, the Thermians could pick up on them. Everyone and their mother knows how ridiculous a lot of what Lila does in episodes like “Chameleon” and “Ladybug” are, and I've talked about them before, so I'll try to be quick.

First off, as someone who had access to accommodations through high school and has had assistance in college so far, there is no way in hell that Ms. Bustier should take Lila's tinnitus at face value in “Chameleon”. If a student has a disability that could interfere with the education process, physical or developmental, not only does the school have to evaluate their performance, and determine if they're eligible for an Individualized Education Program, or IEP, but her teachers would have to be notified in the first place. As her primary educator, Ms. Bustier would be part of the team to oversee Lila's IEP and determine what accommodations she needs to help her learn better with her tinnitus and arthritis. But because the writers don't know what Google is, they just ignore it,  assume that Lila can just say she has a disability, and have everyone believe it. Even when Eric Cartman pretended to be disabled to compete in the Special Olympics, he put in more effort to look the part, even if he looked like a caricature.

Then there's the fact that that in “Chameleon”, everyone just believes Lila when she says Marinette stole her grandmother's necklace when not only is said necklace from the Agreste line of jewelry, but Alya, who is Rena Rouge, can't pick up on the fact that it's a fake. All she does to justify these lies is come up with a sob story about how nobody believes her, yet nobody ever tries to defend Marinette except Alya one time, and it was after she got expelled.

Or what about in “Oni-Chan”, where Lila thinks having Kagami kill Ladybug while claiming she'll back away from Adrien is a good idea? Let's say Oni-Chan does kill Ladybug or at least take away her Miraculous, what then? We know Lila wouldn't go through with this promise, and as soon as Kagami sees her harassing Adrien, she'll be ripe for akumatization again. Overall, not a great plan.

And yet somehow, this last example is what made her worthy enough to become one of Hawkmoth's most trusted agents. I'm just going to say it: Lila is not a good fit for the power of illusion. Whenever she's Volpina or Chameleon, she always goes out of her way to make a big show instead of being subtle with her deceptions. “Chameleon” is the worst offender, as even though Lila gets the power to shapeshift into someone else, instead of being discreet and cornering people into kissing them and gaining their appearance, she just runs around to get Ladybug's attention instead of being subtle. Even Felix had the bright idea to pretend to be Adrien to catch Ladybug off guard. How do you lose to something that happened in “Felix”?

Despite all of these screw-ups, we're still supposed to see her as this master of deception worthy of allying with Hawkmoth in both his supervillain and civilian form, when really, she's a terrible liar on the schoolyard and on the battlefield.

Why Lila is an Important Character

In the grand scheme of things, Lila just isn't as important of a character that the show loves to parade her around as. She's nothing more than a plot device used to raise the stakes in an episode, given how much reality seems to bend over just to accommodate for her lies. Even when the show alludes to her being part of bigger things, like her deal with Adrien, or her rivalry with Marinette, they don't even go anywhere.

She just feels pointless when you remember Astruc's brilliant idea to force Chloe into being the final Akuma for the season while Lila isn't even mentioned once. She only really makes appearances whenever the writers feel like it, which is why it’s hard to take her seriously. Why should I take this character seriously as a threat if the writers refuse to take her seriously as a threat? Why build Lila up as a big threat and not give her a major role in the finale? Why even include her in the show in the first place when you could show Chloe being more manipulative to fill in the plots Lila plays a big part in?

As of the time I am writing this analysis, four episodes of Season 4 have aired, three of them have been about lies or deception, and Lila hasn't been mentioned at all. It honestly seems like she won't appear unless the writers need a easy way to drive up the conflict, so they can justify it by saying that Lila's “superpower” of lying is more powerful than the common sense of everyone else.

I'm sorry this post was shorter than the last one, but compared to Master Fu, there's not that much to say about Lila that I haven't already said. Even the show barely gives her any attention, so it's hard for me to really find a lot to talk about.

[pigletxpoohbear]

I saw you asking for requests and wondered if you could do headcanons for how the obey me boys would react to a Mc who goes nonverbal sometimes (especially when they aren't feeling well mentally)? If you don't wanna do all, I'd just really love to see Beel, Barbatos, Diavolo and Luke!

I hope you have an amazing day🌼

I’m going to start off by just saying when I get really depressed and my thoughts and headspace are worse than usual this is my main mechanism to cope. So, I’m going to write this based on my experiences and go from there if you want me to rewrite it please say so. I’m also going to try and keep the headcannons for this as gender-neutral.

Lucifer

Lucifer is very observant and even more so when it comes to you

When he read your file he understood you had anxiety and depression, based on that he believed he had a clue what it was going to be like with you here in the devildom

Unfortunately, he was slightly off (he was completely incorrect, but he won’t admit that.)

He realized not too long after a week or two here with you in devildom that when you have really bad anxiety you tend to keep it to yourself and when your thoughts are too much you tend to do the same

He also saw that you’d try to keep answers as short as possible when feeling like this

Luci asked you to come by his office during school so that none of his brothers would interrupt, he ended up telling you that if there’s anything that he can do such as pulling you out of classes some days and just helping you privately or putting a proper lock on your door at the HoL you can just tell him and it doesn’t have to be in person, but a call, a text, an email, or a letter just let him know

He’s the most understanding of the brothers surprisingly

Mammon

Mammon isn’t exactly observant, but does notice 

He noticed some days your answers to questions were so short or so quiet that they were almost nonexistent

Mammon was concerned about what was wrong with his human, but didn’t know what to do besides just talk to you about it

One night when you left to your room to be alone and just sit down away from anyone he actually knocked on your door instead of barging in

When he came in he sat across from you on the floor, he asked what was wrong or if there’s something that he needs to fix 

You told him that when everything becomes too much you don’t really like to talk and want to be in a more quiet place

He ended up making a door hanger that told him if it was okay for him to barge in or if today you just needed time alone (he looked like a tomato when giving it to you, he felt so embarrassed)

Anything that makes his human comfortable

Leviathan

Anxiety? Depression? Nonverbal? Levi understands this all too well, but because this is the case he’s like the last one to notice

He doesn’t really notice mainly because he’s often in his room or in his head

He ended up finding out about it because you only gave him yes and no as an answer the whole weekend and thought it was because you didn’t want to be around a nasty otaku and confronted you outside your bedroom

You had to explain that you just go basically silent when your depression and anxiety became too much to handle and said you were sorry

Now Levi felt bad after you shut the door

He went out and got some mangas, animes, and candies and left them outside (after making sure Beel wouldn’t eat them and Mammon wouldn’t take them) and left a letter and a text message apologizing and telling you that he does the same thing and he’s really sorry that he jumped the gun and if you ever want to hang out with him in silence in his room you’re more than welcome to whenever you want

Satan

Satan notices almost as fast as Lucifer

He didn’t really say anything to you about it, but when he would see signs that today isn’t a good day he usually would keep his pranks on Lucifer to himself and see if maybe you want to play with the cats or go to a nice quiet cafe he found not too long ago

On good days he also tries to reach out and just be with you just to be sure you’re okay

Honestly does a ten out of ten job when it comes to being around you on good and bad days (he doesn’t even realize he’s benefiting from it and that he's much calmer recently)

Asmodeus

Asmo is very touchy-feely and some days you don’t like being touchy-feely

Asmo only asked about it because you wouldn’t cuddle with him the last few days

When he realized he apologized and said that if it’s not a good day today then whenever it is please come by he really loves to spend time with you, but won’t force you to do something that you’re not comfortable with

You guys cuddle every now and again because it does help sometimes and either he’ll whisper sweet nothings to you or he’ll just stay quiet and rub your head or back

When you don’t cuddle he’ll bring you tea and a nice pillow or two from his room so that you can rest or just sit more comfortably

Beelzebub

(I think that Beel is an empath and that’s why Beel gets upset by others being upset) When Beel gets the first signs that today isn’t a good day he usually gives you some of his food or asks if you need anything

He doesn’t quite understand it, but he wants to make you happy even if it takes a few days for that to happen

You ask Beel for cuddles or to just sit with you consider it done and sometimes Belphie will be there (usual he is, he just happens to always be where Beel is)

And you guys just form a cuddle pile and nap either in your room, the twins’ room, or in the observatory

Belphegor

He literally is too busy being asleep to notice and I don’t think would ever find out

One moment he’s in one room the next he’s in yours cuddling with you and Beel 

Doesn’t mind too much (mainly because quiet means he can sleep)

Only realizes if someone says something to him about it, but no one asks him cause they go to you first

Clueless sleepy boi

Diavolo

He noticed because he could barely hear you one day and thought you were sick and was about to send you home with Lucifer (who had a bunch of papers he needed to sign off on and would grow immensely if not taken care of)

You explained that it wasn’t necessary and that today was just a bad day

He asked if you wanted to go home and just finish your schoolwork or some makeup work at the HoL or in his office so that you can be in more quiet and accommodating space

Every now and again you’ll do school work in Diavolo’s office and have little sandwiches and tea with him and Lucifer

Barbatos

Literally knows before you got here (he can see the future lmao)

He packs little gift baskets and things like that for you full of your favorite things and has them delivered that day or those days

He has to be with Diavolo all the time, but surprisingly is able to help with these little things that he sends you

You end up exchanging gifts and gift baskets every now and again and when he did get a day off you ended up spending it together and going to ristorante six

Simeon

Doesn’t spend much time with you outside school, but he does notice a few things that he considered odd 

He wondered why you were so meek some days, but quite vocal others

He also saw how you’d keep to yourself and stay away from people especially large groups and then other days you’d be around all of the brothers laughing

He asked Lucifer about it and he explained the situation (Lucifer trusts Simeon to an extent, but knows that Simeon only asks for your well being and no other reason)

After learning the situation he becomes less curious as to what the problem is and more curious on how to help you

When needing to get in groups in classes the brothers aren’t closer or aren’t in he’ll partner with you and make sure that you’re comfortable

Luke

Sweet boy doesn’t understand other than your sad

Makes you cakes, cupcakes, cookies, and all sorts of sweet treats

He also loves to make sure that you’re heard and stays really quiet so he can hear what you have to say

He doesn’t get it, but he does have the spirit

Soloman

Oh boy where do I begin with this one

Soloman notices, he notices everything

Is he good at this type of stuff though? No, no he is not

Wants you to try out potions and tell him the effects, but can’t hear you

Is that an effect or is that just you?

When not experimenting he’s better and tries to find things that make you happy 

Do you want cuddles? Done. Do you want food? I’ll get something from Hell’s Kitchen. Do you want to go for a stroll? I know a really good lookout point where we can be alone.

Literally, just don’t go in the potions room and you’ll have something helpful

[innocent-until-proven-geeky]

Literally though, like…

First of all, before I get into it, social media in general tends to center the voices of lower-support needs autistic individuals and autistics without intellectual disabilities. This is why people are talking about autistic folks with higher support needs. And those of us with low and medium support needs should try to be aware of that and uplift the voices of our autie siblings with higher support needs. But there are different conversations to be had, sometimes, among the different levels of autism. This post in no way intends to speak over higher support needs autistic folks; it’s just one of those different conversations.

All of that said—being low support needs, and even sometimes medium support needs, especially if you are high-masking and/or late diagnosed, means that people just don’t believe we need accommodations. This was a huge part of the problem with functioning labels. “High functioning” was interpreted by allistics as “can function like an allistic person without any help” and “low functioning” was interpreted as “can’t function without help at all,” essentially putting low support needs autistics on a sort of pedestal while infantilizing high support needs autistics. No one’s needs were really getting met.

This continues when we talk about support needs in a more contemporary context. Not always, but often enough to be a problem, people (autistic and allistic alike) hear “low support needs” and think “NO support needs”. Or they see someone like me with low-medium support needs who is high-masking and late diagnosed and assume I don’t need accommodations, or that I can just ask for accommodations without a letter from my provider because they’re just “small” accommodations and they’ll be met by my employer or school. Meanwhile, I need a service dog. (I love my therapist but I AM calling him out specifically right here.)

Not to mention that support needs are more complicated than high/medium/low. Someone who is generally low support needs could have high interoception or sound support needs. Someone who is generally high support needs could have low proprioceptive support needs. That’s part of what being a spectrum disorder is. I have low texture support needs but high sound support needs and medium interoception and proprioception support needs. But people see my low communication support needs and assume that’s it! That’s all! I don’t need help with anything! And that’s just not true.

Being high masking/low support needs puts us at high risk for autistic burnout and for not having our needs met. It means we are expected to act allistic and continue masking. And it’s SO unhealthy and disabling in its own right.

Autism is disabling, period. It doesn’t matter what your specific support needs are, or your general “level” of autism—it’s disabling. It’s just disabling in different ways.

lately, i've seen more people in the online autistic community acknowledging the struggles of people with higher support needs, which is of course an important development. but for some, that seems to come with the implicit assumption that low needs autistics "have it easy" or experience no stigma at all, which is just wrong??? people with low support needs are still disabled by their autism and still face discrimination because of it. sure, they are impaired to a lesser degree than those with higher support needs, but that doesn't mean you can just erase their struggles, y'know?

[tearlessrain]

Giant Masterlist of Cathar Facts (that I completely made up but nonetheless rigidly adhere to)

I am an unstoppable force and disney should have killed me when they had the chance (that chance was splash mountain when I was seven and as you can see I survived).

Under a break because it is way too long and covers really quite a lot, much of which I will probably never even need. But researching and writing this kind of thing is what I consider a fun afternoon so here we are.

General basic stuff

Cathar are basically felids evolved to fill a similar evolutionary niche to humans in the absence of any viable apelike species on their native planet, in the same way hyenas evolved to fill a niche normally occupied by canids. 

They are pursuit predators but not terribly efficient ones outside their home planet. In terms of both speed and strength they can outperform humans on average in the short term, but have noticeably less stamina especially when it comes to running or walking long distances. They greatly outmatch any quadrupedal felids for stamina, however. (Mandalorians are an invasive species)

They run hotter than humans, around 100-102F.

Though height varies quite a bit, cathar are taller on average than humans and build muscle easily, making them extremely formiddable opponents in hand-to-hand combat.

The average face/skull shape of cathar is largely based on assumptions that they evolved under weirdly similar conditions to humans evolving from early hominids, aka shortening of the face, larger cranium, smaller mouth, etc.

While they are obligate carnivores and do have elongated canines, their teeth are more even in size than wild felids, and while they do still have barbed tongues, the barbs are relatively small/soft and more similar to a housecat than anything of comparable size (aka they won’t literally take your skin off if they lick you).  They also have somewhat thinner skin than wild cats, though they are still more damage resistant than humans.

They do not have retractable claws because that’s not how fingers work, but they do have narrow, naturally pointed claws rather than humanlike fingernails. Many cathar choose to either dull them or file them down for convenience, but losing/damaging them, as per that one ambient dialogue on Dromund Kaas that I can never find when I need it, is extremely traumatic for them. 

They have tails because I want them to, used for both balance and communication. Cathar tails are approximately lion-like, thin with a coarse tuft at the end regardless of markings (ie. a cathar with stripes won’t have a tiger tail), with the tip the same shade or a few shades darker than the darkest part of their coats. occasionally those from colder regions will have longer fur over the whole tail, or look like they don’t have a tuft due to longer fur overall. 

Variation and a lot of bullshitting about genetics

Wookiepedia describes Cathar as “a planet of savannas and rough uplands” but I refuse to believe that all these habitable worlds are all one consistent climate/temperature across the whole globe. The weirdly ubiquitous infrastructure/cultural info I can kind of forgive since 90% of them were wiped out by Mandalorians and the rest left, and I’m charitably assuming there were a lot less than 7 billion cathar to begin with, so a lot of smaller or more isolated cultures across the planet were lost entirely. 

They have less sexual dimorphism than SWTOR implies, though females are a little smaller on average and tend to have shorter/finer manes that are closer to their base color. In terms of relative strength/mass the difference is minor and female cathar are still very capable of fucking you up (the conventional assumption in the Empire that females are weak/docile and males are too uncontrollable to enslave is not remotely true in either direction). 

Variation in fur/metabolism/ear and nose shape depends on which region/s of Cathar they come from (or their ancestors come from), but they don’t recognize different “races” the way humans do, particularly in the wake of the Battle of Cathar. 

On average, cathar originating closer to the equator have shorter, finer fur, larger and more tapered ears, a tendency toward slender, lanky builds, and coloration that leans more toward golds/reds and higher pigment density. whereas those closer to the poles are much stockier and can be extremely fluffy, sometimes with an undercoat, with paler colors and less vivid/extensive markings. None of the above is universally true and cathar didn’t necessarily always stay in the region where their ancestors come from (and thus sometimes you get people like Riska, who is all limbs but has fairly northern features and entirely too much fur)

Cathar mostly left their planet in groups, so in some parts of the galaxy you’ll run into whole colonies that originate mostly from one part of the planet and have distinct appearances/cultural idiosyncrasies from other colonies.

They mainly follow the same general rules that apply to most felids in terms of coloration/pattern.

Markings can be stripes, spots, or less commonly rosettes (definitely some version of Taqpep variants) and mostly lie along Blaschko’s Lines, though it’s more obvious on some individuals than others and it isn’t always perfectly precise. Even spotted individuals usually display some striping on the tail and around the eyes, though not always. 

“Default” coloration is black-based, with dark markings on a greyish or brownish base. 

Countershading falls pretty much along patterns you’d expect and usually lightens the chest/stomach, lower face, palms/soles, and inner thighs. Specific distribution and patterns vary quite a bit, and sometimes express in odd ways (hence whatever is going on with Khatte). Darkest points tend to be the tail tip, nose bridge, and mane.

Genetically solid cathar are incredibly uncommon; much more common are genes that affect the appearance/distribution of markings, sometimes rendering them almost invisible. Even ones who appear mostly solid (aka Khatte) usually still have some faint striping around the face and/or tail.

Khatte is basically some loose equivalent of ticked tabby, which mostly just looks like weird countershading but leaves some faint striping on his face and tail.

Jial-ro’s coloration is the result of a gene that suppresses all eumelanin production, and a sepia-like form of partial albinism. 

Riska has something similar, along with something that reduces the size/spread of spots.

Food 

They’re mainly carnivorous and have different nutritional requirements from humans (similar but not identical to those of a cat), which can be a problem in places like the military where standardized rations are the norm. In the Republic a cathar can usually put in a request for rations designed to accommodate carnivores (or supplements, failing that), though they might have some trouble on more isolated or undersupplied planets. The rare cathar in the Imperial military have to procure supplements out of pocket, though it’s technically possible to get reimbursed for it if they’re willing to wade through the bureaucracy.

Cathar are perfectly capable of eating raw meat with few to no ill effects, and have a subgenre of cuisine centered around it (and while they didn’t invent sushi, they have enthusiastically embraced the concept). They also have plenty of ways of cooking meat and readily adopt any new ones they come across. 

Their “natural” diet apart from meat mainly consists of fruit, root vegetables, and eggs, though the closer to the poles you get the less likely you are to encounter fruit in a dish. Cathar never cultivated grain and it holds no meaningful nutritional value for them, so bread, rice, and similar products simply do not appear in traditional cuisine. This does not stop some of them from eating grain products in small amounts, as they can still enjoy the taste, but it isn’t any healthier than processed sugar is to humans and they have a high rate of gluten intolerance as a species.

All cathar have a heightened and refined ability to detect savory/umami type flavors, but around 30-40% of cathar, and the vast majority of those from colder regions, have no taste receptors for sweetness at all. This has resulted in the cathar equivalent of the Cilantro Debate centering around desserts, even though they’re all perfectly aware that it’s genetic, and some who can’t taste sweetness still enjoy some desserts for the other flavors present. Those who do have sweet taste receptors are about as sensitive to it as humans, but it tends not to have the same addictive quality for them and a lot of them don’t like processed sugars in anything but small doses. They would appreciate a lightly sweet creme brulee but most of them would find soda absolutely disgusting.

Citrus is right out.

They suffer no more ill effects than humans from drinking alcohol, and due to generally having a fair amount of mass they can usually drink a lot of it.

Social minutiae

They use a fair amount of feline body language, particularly with others of their own species. While facial expressions play a part and they do smile, scowl, and generally express broad emotions, they have a reduced range of facial mobility compared to more humanoid species and no eyebrows to speak of, which leads to a lot of them having what humans perceive as resting bitchface. It also results in humans underestimating the range and depth of their emotions, and can be a problem in the medical field with human medics/doctors who haven’t been trained to work with less humanoid aliens and won’t necessarily recognize severe pain or distress.

Their ears are less articulated than a cat’s but still have some degree of mobility that serves more of a social function than a practical one. They also express a lot of emotion through their tails, to the point that it can be a detriment in some situations if they haven’t practiced consciously keeping control of it.

Bumping foreheads is a common way to express platonic/familial affection, or can be the equivalent of a chaste kiss between partners. They also squint and slow blink, though it doesn’t always translate clearly to other species.

They have a wider range of vocalization than humans; while their voices are often humanlike and they’re just as capable of articulate speech, they can also growl, purr, and make sounds outside human hearing range. Those raised among humans or near-humans tend to do this less, if at all, while cathar raised in more insular communities of their own kind can come off as very taciturn due to heavier reliance on nonverbal communication.

Sense of smell is much stronger and more refined than a human’s and plays a more significant role in how they perceive and navigate the galaxy. They can occasionally be mistaken for Force-sensitive by humans due to their knack for picking up on emotional distress or the presence of particular species/people by scent. This is more true with people they’re familiar with; they won’t pick out distinct members of the other species by default but will eventually be fairly reliable in identifying the scent of a friend or anyone else they spend a lot of time around.

The exception to the above is other cathar, who they can easily tell apart on an individual basis. They have scent glands around the jaw/neck that come into play for identification, conveying broad emotional states, in some situations can aid medical diagnoses, among other things. They also play a part in building connection and familiarity between friends, family, or romantic partners.

The ~horny section~

Cathar don’t really kiss the way humans do by default, but they can, and usually do so unless they’ve somehow had no contact with any near-human species at all. Their equivalent is gentle biting around the neck and jaw, which is another situations where the scent glands are relevant, and when aroused that whole area becomes an erogenous zone for the vast majority of cathar. 

Plenty of humans (particularly if they don’t encounter a lot of aliens day to day) will avoid kissing cathar anyway because they have sandpaper tongues and dry mouths and fangs, and it feels fucking weird if you aren’t prepared for that. 

They tend to be very bitey in general unless specifically asked not to. It only becomes a problem if the cathar in question is inexperienced with humanoids and hasn’t figured out how much bite force is acceptable for a species with thinner, more sensitive skin.

Their dicks are fairly humanoid in size and shape, though somewhat more conical at the head, but they do have a sheath rather than a foreskin. after maturity they don’t actually retract into the sheath more than about two inches when flaccid, and tend to be slightly less sensitive than the average human (same keritinization factor that affects circumcised humans). It also makes them more vulnerable to damage, but since it’s customary to wear pants on most civilized planets, that never really becomes a problem in the course of a normal day. The base of the shaft that’s usually covered has noticeably higher sensitivity. There are probably individual exceptions to most of the above.

Conventional understanding is that cathar don’t have barbs, which is true the vast majority of the time, though about 60% of them have some amount of vestigial non-keratinous bumps over their head that have no noticeable affect on anything aside from occasional increased sensitivity in that area. Rarely an individual might develop a few actual barbs at the onset of puberty, but they have no practical function and pose a risk of discomfort and injury, and can easily be removed via a fast and mostly painless medical procedure, so the number of adults who have them is close to zero.

Females do have (mild, easy to suppress if desired, and mainly not at all disruptive) heat cycles. Other cathar can generally tell by scent, but not to a distracting degree, and it’s considered rude and inappropriate to point it out with anyone but a close friend or partner. It should go without saying that males don’t have heat cycles, but I’ve gotten enough weird DMs about this to know that I need to say it. Unless said male is trans, and not on any sort of HRT, that’s not how that works. 

They kind of have breasts but unless actively nursing they’re barely noticeable if at all, especially under clothing. Cathar have much fewer hangups about going topless regardless of gender than certain human cultures do.

[ladylee13]

All right, y'all, I've had enough with shitty society. I say we start a cult called "Actual Inclusivity."

Instead of the center of the cult's teachings being some manipulative bullshit, it's literally just love, acceptance, and respect.

We buy some land and start a communal living situation but instead of the money going up to whoever is on top and making them rich, all the money goes toward upkeep and improvement for the whole community. The finances are transparent and available for anyone to see and anyone shown to be corrupt or messing with the money gets kicked out.

We keep a farm to feed everyone. We have high speed wi-fi and some apartments (maybe with communal kitchens, maybe with private ones, idk logistics aren't my strong suit but I wouldn't be the only one running this, so we'd work out the kinks)

Everyone gets to do what they enjoy. Artists make art (and they could do commissions and freelance work and stuff like that to help raise money for the community in addition to art for art's sake), scientists can do their science thing, people who enjoy gardening can tend the farm. Tech people can do tech stuff (idk, I don't do much stem stuff, but we wouldn't be amish, so there'd be upkeep for tech stuff needed, so y'know). Whatever else. Autistic people can spend loads of time focused on their special interests. Non-verbals are not expected to talk. Depressed people or people with anxiety are not expected to work on days when getting out of bed is too difficult. Anyone having a panic attack or PTSD episode while working immediately gets to put down their work, walk away, and come back when they are again capable of giving their work their attention, be that in an hour or not until the next morning. Everyone uses whatever pronouns they prefer, and everyone else uses the appropriate pronouns when addressing or referring to them. If swearing makes someone uncomfortable, people will be expected to respect that and filter their language around them. Everyone gets to love whoever they want with zero societal repercussions. If two people want to get married, they get to. If two people want to live together without getting married, no prob (living together pre-marriage is against my religious beliefs, so I wouldn't do so, but that doesn't mean no one is allowed to. Live according to your own beliefs as long as they don't hurt anyone else. The goal here isn't to make everyone believe same thing or act the same way. It's to respect each other, and hopefully foster more understanding for others and lower discrimination and hate). In that vein, polygamy makes me feel weird, (admittedly, I don't really understand it,) but if some people in a polygamous marriage wanted to join us and were willing to follow the rules, great! Hop in! Let's even have a talk about it. You can help me be more understanding. No one is allowed to force their beliefs into anyone else and if someone feels pressured by someone else, all they have to do is say so and the other person will stop. I've had enlightening and wonderful conversations about religion with people of other religions/also atheists (once even with a drunk atheists and that was great). And all those conversations were great because in no way did they expect me to change my beliefs and vice versa. There was just a sharing of perspectives. And afterward, I felt like I understood them better and they understood me better. And that's what I'm aiming for here.

We can have a few sensory deprivation tanks and weighted blankets available for people with anxiety/PTSD. We can have tons of fidget toys for anyone who needs them to help them focus. We can have anything people need to function their best (I don't know much about what people with neurological disorders that I don't also have need, but whatever they need we'd have). Everything written is also written in braile. There's elevators and ramps in every building. Guide dogs and ESAs are accepted anywhere except in the space of people with animal allergies (Like, the communal areas are regularly cleaned to prevent hair causing allergic reactions and such and there are signs designating pet-free zones). We could maybe have like an animal shelter in a nearby town that anyone can come into to help with and spend time with animals. There would be a prayer room for quiet meditation (with whatever anyone needs for their best prayer environment, like I know Muslims pray toward Mecca and I don't know if there's any ornamentations or anything that they would prefer to have, but if so, it would be there). There'd be a gym to give people access to exercise equipment. There'd be a big old clock tower with bells to indicate prayer times for anyone who needs them. There would be a church building for use by any religious denomination. There'd be regular community activities to give people the chance to have leisurely social interaction and also sometimes exercise in small or large groups, but no one is expected to take part. Everyone with any form of neurodiversity or from any minority group gets to be treated fairly and have their needs accommodated.

No proving you have a disability like you have to to get accommodations from colleges. No one telling you it's all in your head or it's not natural or you should try harder or you just haven't met the right person yet or treating you as being under them for your gender or skin color or anything else you have no control over. Just actual acceptance on every front.

Basically, you'd pretty much be able to live your best life under the principle I learned as a kid: "your agency ends where the next person begins." As long as your actions do not harm anyone, you are free to do as you like.

The rules for living here? Everyone will be expected to contribute however they can (no punching a time clock, but contribute to the best of your ability). There will be no discrimination or hatred toward others. That's pretty much it. It's not that complicated. You will be expected to respect others and they will be expected to respect you. Any crime of any kind would be punished (and I mean things like theft, which I expect would be far less likely to happen given that everyone would have their basic needs fulfilled, and not like things like drug addiction because criminalizing addicts doesn't really prevent people getting addicted and just makes the problem worse.)

I figure the system would be run by committee. Any issues would be put to a vote, and given the size of the group, everyone would get a vote and everyone's vote counts. There would be no one person in charge of the community. Not me, not anyone. Everyone is equally in charge. Issues of things like accusations of discrimination would be handled by a court type situation where a mediator is chosen and both people get to explain what happened (in case of false accusations, which hopefully wouldn't happen, but y'know), and if the problem is based on a misunderstanding or an unchecked or unevaluated privilege, maybe the discussion alone could help the two people work it out, and if not, they get a big meeting with everyone there, and they get a chance to give their side to the group and the group votes on whether or not the accusation is solid and if the accused person will be punished (idk 100% how the punishment would work, but I figure depending on the severity it could be like a first offense would get community service and some kind of lesson in bridging cultural differences or something and a second offense would get something harsher and a third offense would be getting booted from the community. And then something like rape would get an immediate boot.).

Straight/white/cis/NT/any other non-minority people would also be accepted and welcomed so long as they treat everyone there with respect.

And anyone who says or does something homophobic or misogynistic or racist or ableist or anything else along those lines gets first a gentle warning and a chance to re-evaluate their prejudice and if they refuse to check themselves they get kicked out with whatever money they came in with.

I know that no matter what system is in use, there will always be someone ready and willing to find holes and take advantage. So we'd run on a spirit-of-the-law system instead of a letter-of-the-law system, and with everyone getting a say and everyone basing their decisions on that foundation of respect, it would be easier to enforce.

And sure, maybe this is just a fantasy-land-pipe-dream, but come on. How cool would it be? No more forcing our triangle or star or pentagon or splatter-shaped peg asses into circular holes? I don't believe in humanity at large to implement large-scale actual acceptance, but a little mini-society? That seems a little less impossible, right?

This is all spitballing, but the more I think about it, the more I love it. Feel free to add on.

[scarlet--wiccan]

I don’t think Wanda’s mutant status actually matters nearly as much as it should for Billy and Tommy especially, mutants are born with their powers (though usually dormant), Wanda and pietro (currently) got their powers from the HE but the twins were seemingly born mutants. Either she made them mutants subconsciously bc she believed she was, or they’re the mutant children of a mutate (like Franklin Richards). Not defending the retcon and DEFINITELY not defending the way Wanda’s been treated and how weird that makes Tommy’s relationship status but I don’t think non mutant Wanda necessarily means Billy and Tommy aren’t. They should clarify, where Tommy’s powers even come from if pietro got his from THE especially confused me, but usually powered kids of mutates have been considered mutants.

That being said it probably doesn’t matter bc Sc*rletVisi*n is probably going to make all of them mutants point blank so the comics will shift to accommodate that. Apparently Peter from the xmen is going to come in and bring mutants somehow which sounds horrible (and though ATJ still shouldn’t have been playing pietro as a white man he was at least semi recognizable as quicksilver from the comics and Jewish. I hate xmcu quicksilver A LOT more than mcu QS even though neither is good) and ridiculous but the leak has gotten a lot of crap right so far.

I’m assuming the plan is to retcon the retcon with this krakoa event but they’re waiting until the big tv reveal because unfortunately the movies/shows are their priority now. I think the only good think is that krakoa seems so far divorced from any status quo (mcu or otherwise) that making the maximoffs mutants (again) will have to be completely divorced from the mcu so there’s a chance the storyline might not be terrible? I don’t want the whitewashed maximoffs to have any more of an impact on the comic characters, even though I know that’s impossible.

Well, for one thing, they just retconned Franklin as a "false" mutant, too. I'm not saying that was a good choice, but if we're talking about the current status quo, he definitely doesn't hold up as an example. The definition of "mutant" has shifted over the years, but, generally speaking, when we talk about X-Men mutants, we're talking about people with a specific genetic feature, the X-gene. I suppose that a child of a human mutate who inherits superhuman or abnormal genetic traits from their parents would be, by definition, a mutant, but if they don't have the X-gene, it's not the same thing. Are there a lot of other characters like Franklin, who were allegedly born with the X-gene because their parents are mutates? Because I can't think of any off the top of my head.

Anyways, this is a hard point to debate because the 2015 retcons were poorly executed and poorly justified-- it's, like, impossible to retroactively view Wanda and Pietro as non-mutants when, in the past, their mutant status was an integral part of their characters and a key plot point in several major events. House of M, Son of M, and AvX literally don't make sense if they aren't mutants-- Pietro was depowered by the "no more mutants" spell, and Hope was able to mimic Wanda's powers. Neither of these things would be possible if they weren't real mutants. The explanation can't just be that Wanda believed herself to be a mutant, and so her magic functioned accordingly-- if that's how it's supposed to work, the reveal in Axis never could have happened the way it did. Do you see what I mean? I'm running circles around myself trying to make it make sense.

That aside, Billy and Tommy's status as mutants has always been a little nebulous-- I don't think they're ever clearly identified as such in any Young Avengers titles, although they were definitely described as mutants in some of their other appearances-- Secret Invasion always comes to mind. You could argue that their powers are a factor of their magical resurrection, rather than being genetic, but, as I've said in the past, I do think that the twins are genetically continuous to their original incarnations. More to the point, their "mutations" match Wanda and Pietro's almost exactly. This is taken as proof of their connection to Wanda, so, based on that significance, I'm inclined to say the nature of their powers should also match, mutant or not. Plus, don't you think it'd be a weird coincidence if they had the same abilities, but from a different source?

[As a disclaimer, I do tend to think of/refer to the entire Maximoff family as mutants when I'm not directly addressing the retcons. This is because they were written as such for decades, so they are still mutant characters within most of the existing material.]

__________________________________

I have heard some of those leaks and rumors, and I agree that if the Axis retcon is going to be reversed, even partially, it will probably happen if and when MCU!Wanda comes to be known as a mutant. As I've said, I'm not invested in that character and I don't think there's any way, at this point, to fix the problems that she represents, so I don't really care where she ends up in the movies. I will say that I'm not terribly worried about the films influencing Wanda's appearance or characterization in the comics-- even after the Axis retcon, which was clearly motivated by IP concerns related to the movies, the changes she went through had nothing to do with MCU!Wanda and actually differentiated them even further.

That said, while Hickman's treatment of Wanda may be a red herring or set-up for some big reveal, I don't trust him, or Howard, with the character in any circumstance. More importantly, I care less about Wanda being a mutant than I care about the way Hickman, like Remender before him, is carrying on with the worst, most offensive aspects of her mid-2000s characterization. The levels of ableism and misogyny House of M, Disassembled, etc are too great to ignore. It is irresponsible for contemporary writers to refer back to those stories without acknowledging those problems, or at least attempting to shift the narrative for the better.

It's also really hurtful to me, as someone who sees their identity and history reflected in this character, to see her painted as pseudo-genocidal, or a race/class traitor, or a self-hating minority. Wanda has only become that character because gadjekane writers have chosen to project those those notions onto the image of a Roma woman. That sucks, and it sucks even more that so many fans, and industry pros, turn their ire onto the character, rather than reckoning with the real problem.

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid: Chapter 19

Previous: Harboring Hoseok 

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, Government AgentAU

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Codename Miss Cuttlefish plays double agent OR OT7 begins revealing their next plan. 

Codename: Miss Cuttlefish, If Ya Nasty

Present Day

           Sitting around the conference table at OT7 headquarters, the six agents listen and watch as Codename Miss Cuttlefish née Genevieve Yang, does her own song and dance. Daughter of operative Cuttlefish, she is trained in field work, and was pulled as a CI over three years ago when Codename Arrow joined the scope of the investigation. Hating to disappoint her mother, she reluctantly joined the mission and just prayed Codename Bow and Codename Arrow never said anything worthy of reporting.

           “She’s not an idiot, she has to know this is connected,” Yoongi remarks, eyes staring at Miss Cuttlefish as she engages with Codename Black Panther.

           “She hasn’t made the connection yet,” Namjoon answers.

           “Black Panther is starting to see a pattern, that’s the first step,” Hoseok adds.

           “I can’t believe you think we can keep this up,” Tiredly, Yoongi sighs.

           “Who said I thought we could keep this up? We cannot, in any realm, keep this going any longer. That’s part of the plan,” Namjoon responds.

           “How many steps are there to this plan?” Yoongi asks, he’s beyond burned out, drinking coffee by the liter, eating whatever fast food he could grab on his way home, knowing full well his roommates were riding the same bus. This is how Namjoon works, he reminds himself, to plan and over plan every step of a mission, only keying them in when necessary. This mission, it’s length, it’s breadth, had begun to wear them thin. You don’t spend half a decade on a project, and not count the months, weeks and days until you turn in your final paperwork. Yoongi, and the rest of OT7 could see the light at the end of the tunnel, the problem for Yoongi, was whether that light was hope, or the train itself.

           “It’s not like we’re withdrawing from Iran,” Seokjin states. “We just need to position her correctly in order for the rest of this to fall into place.”

           “Do you want me to actually give her the intel?” Miss Cuttlefish asks, muting the call while Black Panther speaks.

           “Tell her you’ll ask,” Namjoon directs.

           “Then what?”

           “Lie,” Yoongi shrugs.

           “She’s moving to search through his followers,” Seokjin says, changing the screen to a live shot of Black Panther’s computer screen. In his years with OT7, he’d picked up a few new skills, including coding. Though he preferred the monotony of financial records, tracing bank accounts and calling foreign ops, there was something a little thrilling about cloning a computer and observing the movements of its owner.

           “Everything’s in place?”

           “Yes,” Hoseok answers.

           “You made the right call,” Jimin tells Namjoon, his voice low as he looks at his leader.

           “Did I?” Namjoon asks softly, his uncertainty written in the dark bags decorating his under eye.

           “You’re exhausted, you can’t see the forest through the trees,” Jimin offers. “But you did, Taehyung and I know it wasn’t an easy decision to make.”

           “He already resents me.”

           “Why are you talking about Maknae?” Taehyung asks.

           Glancing over at him, Jimin answers, “RM’s worried about him,”

           “He’s at headquarters for the week?” Hoseok inquires.

           “Yes, some training,” Namjoon responds.

           “Hasn’t he perfected everything?” Yoongi snaps.

           “Sug-

           Miss Cuttlefish hangs up the phone abruptly and stares at the six men. “Did I get what you wanted?”

           “You did,” Namjoon snaps his attention away from his hyung, “we’ll monitor Black Panther over the next few days, thank you Miss Cuttlefish.”

           Genevieve stands, Taehyung following suit. “I’ll walk you out.”

           “You sure that’s all?” Jimin snickers. Taehyung’s cheeks flush, Miss Cuttlefish pinches them lightly before pressing her lips gently against the warm skin.

           “Do you want me to post more photos?” She asks Namjoon, eyes still on Taehyung’s.

           “Black Panther requested J-Hope, correct?”

           “Yes,” Jimin refreshes Hoseok’s page and stares at the pending follow.

           “What do we do?” Hoseok asks.  

           “We accept,” Yoongi answers.

           “Then what?”

           “We wait,” The finality of his words is met with his actions, and Namjoon doesn’t want any misinterpretation of his movements. He stands from the conference table before retreating into his office and closing the door. Dimming the lights and turning on low music, he tends to his Bonsais and other greenery, giving them a little attention before he extends on his couch. Namjoon wasn’t sure he was making the right decision; wasn’t sure he would be able to salvage whatever would be left after Codename Black Panther came to a head, or if he’d judged accurately. That’s the job of the boss though, isn’t it? He had to make the impossible decisions, the calls that no one else wanted to or could, the ones that decided the fate of a mission.

           Some decisions were easy, Taehyung ending his relationship and mission with Cupid had been a no brainer, a decision he knew the minute Tae scheduled the meeting. Using Hoseok in this pedestrian mission was a child’s play, Hobi had the charisma and added bonus of never being seen. He easily could’ve taken Jimin’s role, deftly swaying anyone he came in contact with into falling in love with him. He was precious, intelligent, compassionate and brilliant. Hoseok was always sidelined though because he couldn’t lie, couldn’t withhold, couldn’t tell when someone else was pulling the wool over his exuberant irises. In their early years, it made him a terrible mission lead, but in his forgery work, it made his attention to detail flawless. He had to be so careful, so delicate and exacting otherwise anyone would recognize the faux docs.

          Hoseok didn’t have to lie much when he was with Miss Cuttlefish, he could easily weave a tale of working in the fraud department of the FBI, craft old missions into new stories because Codename Bow had never heard them. Playing pretend with another operative was the only time Hoseok felt okay being in the field, he preferred to engage with his group of brothers and his CI’s, collaborating on best practices, creating new protocols for faking passports and White House Stationary.

          Other groups within the larger structure of OT7 often wondered why Hoseok and Jimin couldn’t trade, didn’t they have similar skill sets? The nuance of their performances, often lacking the pizazz older, retired agents recognized as skill, set the two apart. Both cunning and sly, charming and friendly, the two men knew they could never trade places, most importantly, Namjoon knew.  

           The problem arising in this mission, was the sole focus of the project itself. Black Panther presents an element none of them expected, or planned for, or even recognized was part of her personality. Black Panther is deft in her skills, easily adjusting to meet the demand, rising to every occasion and slightly careless in her protections. She’s easy to find, easy to follow, easy to gain access to in every way she boasts not to be. Namjoon couldn’t blame her, everyone was powerless to OT7, after all, that was their goal. No one was out of their reach, no one too far from their grasp regardless of their efforts. He knew it, and soon, she would too.

           The complications Black Panther brings to the table are unchallenged, a mountain none of them have yet climbed. Laying in his office, Namjoon wonders if it’s all worth it. If manipulating her will get them where they need to be, or if she’s better off being a casualty none of them blinks an eye over. He could always send Agust D to clean up the mess, but what would that solve? It’d just create another headache for him to manage and another member of his team to be angry with him. Breeding contempt was not his strong suit, but solving it was near impossible.

           “Joonie?” Hoseok asks, hand gently rapping the door.

           “Hm?” He offers in return.

           Poking his head in, Hoseok’s smile relaxes. “Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?”

           “Depends, what are you making?”

           “Your favorite,” Hoseok chuckles, a welcome sound against the dull lull of the piano.

           “You won’t burn it?”

           “Seokjin’s going to help,”

           “What can go wrong? The two Seok’s battle it out, one too intense, the other too much of a culinary genius,”

           “I hope I’m the genius,” Hoseok says sitting down. “You’re welcome to stay the night too, I know how you get,”

           “I live in the apartment across from you, Hobi,” Namjoon’s eyes remain closed, his body moving on the couch to accommodate Hoseok.

           “I know,”

           “With Yoongi and Taehyung,”

           “I know,” Hoseok repeats.

           “I’m not lonely,”        

           “You can be in a crowded room and still feel isolated,”

           “I’m not isolated with Yoongi, we shared a room for years before moving across the hall,” Fluttering his eyes open, he stares at Hoseok’s worried expression.

           “Namjoon,” Hoseok’s eyes give way to the concern beating in his heart. “You’re stressed about something, you don’t have to tell me what, just walk the five paces from your place to ours and spend some time with us. We can watch whatever movie you want.”

           “You’re too good to me,” Namjoon offers a soft smile.

           “That’s because we’re family, Joonie,” Hoseok gives his hand a squeeze before walking towards the door. “Oh, and if you have Sprite, bring it.”

           “You have millions of dollars, buy more,” Namjoon laughs, eyes closing as he settles into the warmth of Hoseok’s generosity. “Will you wake me in twenty, please?”

           “Of course, Joon,” Hoseok gently shuts the door, leaving Namjoon to rest in the silence.

Next: Codename Black Panther

[kariachi]

Okay, I was already blaming @petrosapian for this Gwengit run but I am definitely blaming her for this fic because I am not taking the fall for this.

Sweet and relatively soft Gwengit fluff.

~~

The day is Valentines, the first one where Argit and Gwen were maybe kind’ve sorta an item rather than just sharing the one beautiful disaster, and they had agreed to attempt to do it properly. As properly as they could. Which probably wasn’t much, honestly. Of course there have been the presents for Kevin (flowers from both ends, now that Gwen has finally given up on giving their boyfriend anything else to spite Argit and his advice), but for each other had been…

Well.

She’d never admit it, but the generic and cheap gold-tone earrings spoke a lot to Gwen’s struggle to find a proper present. And Argit couldn’t even give her a properly excessive amount of shit about it because not only did they agree to try to tone it down for the holiday, but also he’d straight forgotten it was coming up until Kevin’s flowers arrived, having been ordered exactly one year in advance specifically because Argit couldn’t track dates if his life was on the line. He had nothing- nothing- ready.

Thankfully, he had not- with Kevin’s thoroughly amused help- bluffed his way through several years of gift giving occasions for nothing. Gwen could not be allowed to learn of this weakness, he would never survive. No, he’d sent messages, called in minor favors, to make his first idea work and work fast.

Sat with her arms and legs crossed, having been not-so-patiently waiting on him, Gwen raised an eyebrow as Argit dropped a spare piece of scrap metal dotted with various colors of body paint on the coffee table.

“I swear if this is some sort’ve kink thing,” she said, though her tone was more curios than anything. Still, Argit flopped down on the couch beside her more forcefully than was exactly needed, snapping his jaws in her direction.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Red,” he replied, “it’s-” And he wasn’t really sure how to finish that thought. Kevin was easy, hopelessly romantic at heart with flowers sitting in the sweet spot where receiving them both made him feel loved instead of just setting off those overactive warning bells, but Gwen… Things were new with Gwen, and while he knew the things she liked as gifts the problem was that he tended to give those just, at random. Whenever he found them. She expected more for a holiday, though, and when it came down to it all he’d been able to think of under the time crunch was this. “It’s an Erinaen thing.” It wasn’t a lie.

“Okay,” she asked, looking at him like she didn’t fully believe him, “where do we start then?”

“You start by relaxing for once in your damn life,” Argit said, pushing her shoulder into the couch for emphasis, “so I can work.” She glowered at him, but did as requested. Only once she was relaxed back in her seat, arms and legs uncrossed, did he turn to the paint. She wore blues, mostly, and greens seemed to be popular among humans with her colors, so he would start with those. He gathered up a bold blue on his finger and thought back to his only point of reference for all this, trying to figure out what to do.

“Well,” Gwen asked after a moment and Argit sighed through his nose. His Pa’s, definitely. Both his parents had been horrible, but he would gnaw off an arm before Gwen shared anything with his Ma, even just a painted design. He took her chin in his hand, slowly, and shifted her head so he could get a better look at her face. The look would have to be adjusted to accommodate for the lack of a long muzzle but, he could make do.

“Hold still.” She didn’t, face twitching when the paint touched it. “What did I say?”

“Cut me some slack, I hardly even wear makeup.”

“Well maybe you should start.” She stuck her tongue out at him and he snapped his teeth again, more gently, before going to work. He started above one corner of her mouth, carefully painting a thick blue line around her nose and up over her eyebrow before bringing it back down to curve beneath her ear. Then, he repeated the process on the other side of her face and paused, for just a moment. “Take off your shirt?”

“What?” She gave him another suspicious look. He rolled his eyes.

“I can get the design right either way, but it’ll be easier and work better if I can see your back,” Argit explained, and though Gwen clearly didn’t entirely trust his honesty she again listened, turning her back to him as she stripped off her top. “Thank you.” The bra was still in his way, but that was much easier to work around than a whole shirt.

“So,” she asked as he continued the first line from before, skirting around her hair as he took it down the back of her neck, across the shoulder blade, and down the outer length of the arm, “this is an Erinaen thing?”

“Yeah. Fur makes tattoos unpopular, and makeup too, so you dye it in temporary patterns.” Her foot began tapping with pent-up energy as he reached her hand, running a line down to each finger and spiraling it around them. He couldn’t blame her, and was happy to take his time with the other side so she couldn’t see his tail twitching. This was intimate behavior, a form of mutual grooming, reserved for family, partners.

It was a spur of the moment plan, but that didn’t make it not a big deal.

“Family got hold of some dye once, back in the Null Void,” he continued as she leaned to the side, trying to avoid getting paint on the couch, “parents painted each other up all pretty. Got pissed later when us kittens got into it.” The memory was one of the few good ones from back then, before freedom and Kevin. The youngest litter still in the pouch, he and the rest of his siblings painting each other as best they could with literally no prior experience. He couldn’t help smiling at it, and it showed in his tone. “I was rainbow for a week.”

Gwen laughed at the image, and Argit was forced to join her when all she could say was “Argicorn.”

“Better than Niu, their fur was darker, they looked like an oil slick.” Her snickering got worse and he took the time to wipe the blue paint from his hand with one of Kevin’s handkerchiefs, replacing it with green.

“Reminds me of when I was little,” she said as he began working on her wrists, two alternating, broken lines of green wrapping around each one, “me and one of my cousins once got into grandma’s makeup. Aunt Abigail actually screamed when she saw the mess we made of ourselves, but I’m pretty sure grandma still has the pictures.”

“Kittens,” Argit snickered, “you take your eyes off them for five minutes…” Wrists done, time for some simple circles around the junction where shoulder met arm, and then “Turn around again, and move the bra some, I need collarbone access.”

“’Take off your shirt, Red’,” she griped as she scooted away from the back of the couch and did as asked, ‘move your bra, Red’, I swear if this is a kink for you-”

“Then I wouldn’t just sneak it on you and you know it.”

“I’m going to have to trash this bra anyway, you know.”

“You poor, tortured soul.” The collarbone portion was pretty simple, actually, just one line. Down one collarbone, up the side of the neck, along the jaw, then down the other side to the end of the opposite collarbone. For good measure, he traced out the bottom edge of her nose, around the nostrils and tip.

“So, your parents did this for each other,” Gwen asked as he cleaned off the green and began mixing red and orange to get the accent shade that’d settled in his mind. He mrrped an affirmative. “That’s…” Her foot tapped harder. “It’s sweet. I think the most romantic thing I ever saw my parents do was cuddle on New Years. It’s nice they were so openly in love.” Argit wasn’t entirely sure how much love there ever really was between them, though he certainly wasn’t going to say it. Besides, after eighteen children and how long in the Null Void, who knew.

“Just remember, they made me,” he said instead, taking up some red-orange and quickly painting the webbing between her fingers, connecting her collarbones with a line that swept down between her breast and back up.

“They managed at least one semi-decent thing then,” she replied. Argit started, then hid his brief surprise with a toothy smirk.

“I knew the earrings were a decoy gift.” She mimed swatting at him with a smile of her own, a fitting distraction from her face having gone pink- probably from the strain of sort’ve complimenting him. He just turned to the last order of business, a trail of red-orange dots running up either side of her nose, as far up as he could get them, and

And

Well.

He’d been moving around on the couch, but that was when Argit finally got up from it entirely, backing away so he could get a good view. The lines served to emphasize her movement, especially at the hands, and lengthened her throat, her face, her nose. His head tilted to one side, ears twitching.

“You’re, kinda pretty, Red.” She looked about as surprised as he felt, or maybe that was the paint making every confused twist catch the eye. It was certainly a new concept for him. Sexual attraction he had felt towards humans before- though never Gwen, despite his fondness for her- but aesthetic attraction… Kevin hit some points with his piercings, universally wonderful smile, and exotically dark brown eyes, but Gwen at that moment was a whole different basket of grubs. He couldn’t have told you if it was the familiarity of the design, the way the colors worked together on her, or some deep-seated need for something Erinaen in his life latching on, but Argit quickly found himself crossing the space again, pressing his nose against her throat.

He hated her perfume, was pretty sure that was why she kept buying it, but at that moment it was kind’ve worth putting up with.

“I oughta doll you up more often.” One of her hands fiddled with his mane and he felt a tinge of annoyance knowing his work was getting smudged already.

“My mom would throw a fit.” The smirk came back to his muzzle.

“So you agree with me.” She tugged gently at one of his ears, pulling him away. The shoddy attempt at a frown and glower couldn’t hide the fondness emanating off her, at a level they two of them generally didn’t show to each other’s faces. A level Argit knew perfectly well he was matching.

“Don’t flatter yourself, rat.”

[dxmedstudent]

On contraceptives and medicine...

Occasionally you come across threads online where people seem to think that contraceptives are some kind of medical conspiracy. There’s a narrative that ‘medicine doesn’t know ANYTHING about women’s problems so medicine is useless and doctors don’t know anything’. There’s still been a lot of research; not enough but that’s true of many conditions. Whilst there’s a very real gap in research and accommodation when it comes to women, how it is depicted is often simplistic.  We do need more research, but in the meantime we need to encourage people to make use of what we have now to empower themselves. As a woman, I have to make do with what we have now, whilst I encourage medicine to do better.  Science and medicine hasn’t always served women, but it’s something that is slowly being addressed. Yes, contraceptives also have a checquered past. A lot of medicines have a dodgy and far from illustrious past; we can’t realistically throw out everything in history with a less than perfect past. On an individual level, some people have horrible experiences with doctors. We need to hold people to account if they are failing their patients and work on better training for new doctors if current training is lacking.  I, too, haven’t always been ideally served as a patient. As a woman and doctor, I think this is harmful because it dissuades people from seeking help. If you keep hearing that nobody is any good, and that nobody knows anything anyway, why would you bother? We need to encourage people to educate themselves and empower them to look for doctors who can listen and help, not spread the idea that it’s useless.  So there are a few ideas that I think it would help to clear up: Asking about your sexual health is part of holistic healthcare It is wrong for a doctor to assume that a young person (or person of any age) should be sexually active. I’ve had chats like that as a patient when I was younger and it’s awkward because you shouldn’t have to explain why you aren’t sexually active; it’s enough for that to simply be a choice you’ve made. And it shouldn’t be treated as a weird thing. However, it’s not wrong for a doctor to ask if someone is sexually active; sexual health is part of holistic care. I’ve seen people literally say ‘doctors asume we’re all sluts’ or ‘doctors are patronising by assuming I don’t know all about sex’.  I can’t argue if someone feels that their doctor took a patronising tone they need to improve on. But asking if someone is having sex of any sort is not assuming that you’re promiscuous, and it does not inherently have to be a value judgement. It’s covering the fact that many (actually most) people are sexually active at some point, and the vast majority of people are sexually active before marriage. A good healthcare professional shouldn’t care at all whether you are having sex before marriage (or at all); it should be a neutral topic to them. Their only care should be; does what you are doing fulfil you, and how can they make it as safe as possible. If a doctor is being judgemental, that’s on them, and that’s bad care. But being judgemental is not an integral part of the process. And that’s part of your health care that especially needs covering if you go to see a doctor about your reproductive organs. It’s also important for healthcare professionals not to assume how much you know about your reproductive tract, sexual health or contraception. We all have a different amount of knowledge and different experiences; if their manner is off, that’s frustrating and they need to work on that, but that does not make it wrong to try to ensure that you’re starting from a good foundation. I’ve talked to patients with a very wide range of understanding of their bodies - our jobs as clinicians are to ensure that whatever someone’s baseline knowledge is, we can relay information in a way that suits them, rather than with jargon.

PIV is not the only form of sex We also need to abolish this idea that there is ‘the Sex’ and ‘everthing but’ as if they are two wholly separate patterns of behaviour. Sex of any sort is part of the spectrum of sexual behaviour. It doesn’t matter if the P hasn’t hit the V; sexually transmissible infections are still a thing, as long as any bits get anywhere near genitals and body fluids have a way of getting... everywhere. Sex, even playing around, is a messy process. I’ve definitely seen a few posts in these threads with the theme of ‘well I wasn’t virginal, but I was technically a virgin’ -  it doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself in terms of how far you did or didn’t get. Holistic care would still recommend the discussion of contraception and limiting the risks of infection transmission, if you have any sexual activity with someone. You can still be a ‘technical virgin’ and be at risk of STIs, and therefore in certain contexts that’s still an appropriate discussion for clinicians to have with you. That’s not to say that people don’t often have important reasons for enjoying different kinds of sexual activities at different times in their lives; you’re not accountable to anyone for your choices and it’s your body. But I feel that in some of these posts I detect an underlying theme of ‘ well, what I was doing wasn’t real sex, so don’t lump me with those slutty people having premarital sex’.

I mean, it’s pretty weird - someone could be playing around with their partner and as long as they stop short of PIV, it’s considered acceptable, but PIV is taboo - but all the other things are also pretty intimate, and, also well, still sex. You can put yourself through all sorts of mental gymnastics about ‘real sex’ versus ‘everything else’ to justify things, but in the end it’s all pretty similar. You’ve got intimacy and body fluids going on.

You don’t have to have Sex (TM) to be at risk of infections. And infections aren’t something to be ashamed of, or a sign that you’re promiscuous, or even that your partner has been promiscuous; all it takes is for them to have been with one other person in their lives. And frankly, it’s ridiculous that someone can have had sex with exactly (1) other person in the context of a loving relationship and be labelled slutty.  I know these threads are often in the context of US conservative Christian marriages, but sex outside of heteronormativity exists, and protection is still very necessary even in those situations. Most people these days are having extramarital sex, regardless of their orientation, and medical care needs to reflect that. So you may be asked questions about the other kinds of sex you are having, if it’s relevant. Vaccines are important and STIs don’t come with warning labels. The HPV vaccine is important. I’m glad my GP told me of a prescribing loophole through which she could prescribe it for me; I was a little older than the cut-off, but I had never been sexually active, and she knew that it was important to protect as many people as possible. The vaccine itself isn’t 100% but it’s better than nothing, given that HPV is almost ubiquitous. 8/10 people will catch it, and condoms are only about 70% successful at preventing spread, so if you have sex with anyone, there’s a good chance you might get it. Saying “I don’t need the vaccine because I only ever plan to have sex with one person” is risky and badly thought out.  Because it relies on that other person never having had sexual contact with anyone else, ever, and I don’t think it’s fair to place that expectation on a partner. And if they know there’s that expectation, what’s to stop them from lying? Anyone is entitled to refuse vaccination, of course. It’s a free country. But refusing a vaccination is never without risks, which are almost always greater than those of the vaccine themselves. Cervical cancer is horrible and people can die young, and treatments can affect your ability to carry pregnancies. Plus, genital warts are nasty, and if you can decrease the risk of both, why not?  The cervical cancer vaccine carries a stigma specifically because it relates to sexual activity. Whilst we’re at it, there’s no such thing as ‘I know my partner doesn’t have STIs’. This simply does not exist. You can’t 100% know for certain that your partner has never had sexual contact with another person - if you’re in a cultural situation where people expect their partner to be a virgin, you’re also in a situation where people are motivated to lie if they fall short of this expectation to cover their reputation. And if they have been with anyone, then you don’t know if they could have caught something. Hey, I’ve seen a lot of penises and vulvas, and although I can say that someone looks healthy or normal, that’s not guarantee of not having infections. For example, chlamydia and gonorrhoea are often symptomless but can damage fertility, and HIV can often go years without any symptoms or problems. Unless someone has tested negative (and they haven’t slept with anyone new in that incubation window period), then you just don’t know.  You also can’t 100% know that your partner isn’t cheating or has never cheated. Now, on a personal level, we all have to believe our partner is honest; that’s how relationships work, through trust. So I’m not going to tell you to assume your partner is doing the dirty on you.  But on a statistical level? Cheating partners cause significant spread of sexually transmitted disease, particularly if they have sex with sex workers. This is something that happens around the world, in conservative as well as liberal environments.  So even if you never plan to sleep wth anyone else, sometimes you can still suffer the consequences of someone else’s risky behaviour. It’s not fair and it’s not nice, but in healthcare we have to deal with that reality. That’s also why the vaccine remains relevant even in conservative communities. On a statistical level, even in communities where promiscuity or sex outside marriage is discouraged, it isn’t nonexistant. Contraceptives are valid medical treatments, but nobody HAS to use them. Particular kinds of hormonal contraceptives tend to be effective and frontline treatments for hormonally treating particular conditions; for example PCOS, endometriosis, fibroids. It’s perfectly fine to want to explore the options, from doing nothing, to managing as conservatively as possible, to considering operations (if possible), to hormonal treatments, etc. You’re allowed to decide to not do something, or to choose how aggressively you want to treat something. Some people seem to be frustrated that doctors can’t offer many non-hormonal treatments. But that’s partly because many problems relating to the gynaecological system are affected by your hormonal cycle. A lot of what goes on with that system is closely tied up with our hormones. The way we make endometriosis less bad is by stopping periods. The way we make PCOS less of an issue is by managing hormones.  Depending on the problem, sometimes there are non-hormonal treatments that can help with symptoms (for example, there are medications for painful or heavy periods, or acne that aren’t hormonal), but they can’t inherently change what is going on there.

I know there’s a lot of concern from some people about the effect of hormonal contraceptives, and I think that concern about the longterm effects of any treatment is reasonable. There are risks associated with hormonal contraceptives. And more research on long term effects of any medicaiton should always be welcomed.  But I do wonder in this case how much of that concern is tied up with the taboo surrounding sex, particularly if it’s ‘consequence free’ as some people describe it.

There are lots of reasons why people might not want to use hormonal contraception, and in the end nobody has to. They are simply a choice. Some people can’t get on with the side effects, some don’t like the risks involved, some have religious objections, some people just don’t want to take tablets or stick things into their bodies. It’s your choice, and it’s all valid. But it’s not valid to trash that choice for other people, or to imply anyone who lives differently is degenerate. There’s a lot of judgement in these threads.

Contraceptives do not turn women into a sex object. Contraceptives do not objectify women by turning them into a sex object. I’ve seen people suggest that they only exist so women can be consequence free receptacles of sex for men and are therefore inherently tools of the patriarchy. For people claiming that contraceptives objectify women, these people are literally embodying women as semen receptacles with no agency of their own and having the audacity to pretend they are feminist. Women have agency. They are people. They do not become sex objects because they choose to have sex. They do not become sex objects because they have ‘conseqence free’ sex. Regardless of whether that sex is in marriage, or not. And with one partner, or many. The funny thing is that initially ontraceptives were only prescribed to married women with their husbands’ permission; society very clearly didn’t want to give women the ability to control their own reproductive choices. Even historically, they weren’t about turning women into objects, but allowing married women the ability to choose when to plan their family. Nowadays, contraceptives allow anyone with a uterus/ovary combination the ability to control if they menstruate or are likely to get pregnant. That’s it. They don’t force you to have sex or dictate the kind of relationship you have with penis-havers. You know what happened before we had contraceptives? Women still had sex. Men, when they wanted to, still pressured women into sex and raped them.  Husbands still had sex with their wives. Women still had sex outside of wedlock, sometimes willingly, sometimes through force. They just... didn’t have as many options to prevent pregnancy or prevent the transmission of disease, so they had to deal with the stigma of having sex outside of marriage, or carrying an illegitimate child; consequences that men never had to deal with. And that doesn’t seem to have stopped many men through the years doing what they like, no matter what the social consequences were for women. It didn’t stop men failing to look after their illegitimate children or the women who birthed them. It didn’t stop life-threatening abortions. It just created an atmosphere of shame and secrecy; of unwed mother’s institutions and babies disappearing or quietly being given away. Even in the context of loving marriages, many families struggled to look after the many children that ensued; imagine if they had the knowledge or resources to pace out their children so they could afford to look after them. So arguing that contraceptives mainly benefit men is completely disingenuous. Sure, perhaps men get to have a bit more sex now because women feel more happy to have sex knowing they are a lot less likely to get pregnant. Men can still be deadbeat or missing fathers if they choose. But women have benefited far, far more, despite the side effects and risks because historically, having sex and giving birth have always been risky for women. It’s not that birth control is an easy, fun choice, it’s that the choices have often been dire. For many women around the world, the choices are still dire. Lack of access to contraception means many girls and women around the world still bear children they do not want to have, and catch infections from the men who have sex with, or rape them. A woman who can’t recognise that other women around the world might desperately need to stave off having kids or protect themselves, just because they themselves don’t feel this particular method is for them, is not acting as a feminist. By forgetting the situaiton that women around the world are still dealing with, we’re letting our own privilege get the better of us. To be honest, commentary like this  makes me pretty suspicious of the underlying beliefs of some posters who otherwise purport to be feminist. Since these people believe they have the agency to choose to have sex (it’s implied this is within marriage, almost always, in these threads) it’s clear that what is being attacked when they criticise contraceptives here, is the agency of women who choose to have sex in a context these people disapprove of.  Having safe, ‘consequence-free’ sex is not dirty, or immoral. It does not, in itself, turn you into a sex object, because women are grown human beings with agency and the ability to want and enjoy sex on their terms. I hate the term consequence free sex, because it implies sex ought to come with consequences - what? Risks? Punishment? Diseases? Babies? The consequences of sex can be fun, intimacy, enjoyment, bonding and an expression of deep love. For many people, it’s an integral part of relationships and often, ultimately marriage if that’s what they want.

And if a woman doesn’t have agency or is being coerced or pressured into sex, that is not her fault. And in such a situation, contraceptives may still play a vital role because they prevent people from falling pregnant in dire situations. In such a situation, contraceptives are not the bad guys, and the woman would likely be coerced regardless of whether she was protected. But it’s disingenuous to claim that doctors are pushing an agenda without reflecting that the people telling you hormonal contraceptives are bad or that you shouldn’t be having premarital sex etc are also pushing an agenda. The largest critics of hormonal contraception have historically been those in power in conservatively religious communities who have strict rules about what women are and aren’t allowed to do. And that those rules have very rarely been empowering for women. Allowing people to break free of those rules hands the choice back to us. What people do with the freedoms that contraception allows them is up to them. And feminism will always be about giving people the knowledge and the choice to do what is best for them. If that’s not having sex, good for you. But that may equally mean having sex for someone else. Disclosure of interests: I don’t get paid by manufacturers of contraceptives, I don’t even prescribe them on my current job. Before anyone caims that I’m a proponent of ‘hookup culture’ who just can’t ‘get’ people who don’t want to have sex, I don’t personally do ‘hookups’ and waited til I was ready. I’ve spent a ton of time single. I really don’t care if people wait until marriage or have sex with 10 people every day. I don’t believe people should be stigmatised for having sex, or not having sex. It simply is not a reflection of anyone’s worth or morality.