#but they’re gonna be fucked up together so

[y3sterdaysproblem]

smoke and mirrors - chris sturniolo

chapter one

summary: your best friend Matt backs out of plans you had made together, so you replace him with his brother. the only problem is the two of you can’t stand each other.

{enemies to lovers, fake dating}

includes : explicit language, fluff, smut(penetration, oral, fingering, etc.), angst if you squint, lots of bickering, slow burn

wc: 2.4k

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a/n: first series! it won’t be super long, but I hope you enjoy. send requests for more fics!

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“Matt, you can’t back out now!” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare at your best friend where he lays on his bed, setting his phone down to look up at you.

“I’m sorry, love, something came up and I can’t make it,” he apologizes, shrugging his shoulders. “I can’t get out of it.”

You groan, throwing your head back in frustration. You had a family wedding to attend and already RSVP’d with a plus one, which was supposed to be your best friend Matt, who had lovingly agreed to pretend to be your boyfriend for the night. Your family was super invasive about you getting a boyfriend, and you wanted to avoid all of the comments and questions by just pretending to have a boyfriend for one night at the wedding, but your plan was falling apart.

“What am I supposed to do? I already told everyone I was coming with somebody, they’re gonna know I was lying if I show up by myself,” you tell him, trying to rack your brain for any ideas.

“You could bring Nick,” Matt suggests, picking his phone back up and going back to scrolling.

You scoff. “Yeah right, like Nick could pretend to be straight for an entire night. He’d be caught in less than an hour.” You shake your head, moving to sit on the edge of the bed next to Matt. “I’m gonna have to go on, like, Bumble or something and find some random to go with me.”

Matt looks up at you over his phone, waiting for you to lock eyes with him before he starts to speak. “I mean… I know one other guy you could ask.”

You tilt your head, excited to hear the suggestion, before you realize who he’s talking about and your eyes widen, head shaking rapidly. “Absolutely not,” you put your hands up, pointer fingers crossed over in an X. “I am not asking Chris, no way.”

Matt raises his eyebrows and purses his lips. “I told you I knew someone, I didn’t say you’d like what I said.”

You roll your eyes. “He would never say yes to me anyway, even if I did want to ask him.”

Matt shrugs. “Maybe. You could always bribe him, he loves a good bribe.”

You think about it for another moment, knowing it would be easier to get Chris to do it than it would to find some random guy to go to a wedding as a first date, but the thought of spending an entire night next to Chris made your skin crawl.

The two of you had never really gotten along, even with you being around as much as you were, you guys never clicked, in fact it was the complete opposite, always insulting each other any chance you got, ignoring each other, and always avoiding being in the same room by yourself, even if only for a few moments.

“I mean… I could try but I really can’t promise I won’t kill your brother, Matt,” you half joke, but not really. “Might turn you into a twin.”

“That’s fucked,” Matt laughs, using his foot to kick you lightly. “I‘ll still be a triplet, even if you kill him. I’ll just be a triplet with severe depression and no will no live.”

“You’re so dramatic,” you tell him through a laugh. “Your life would be so much quieter, wouldn’t that be nice? You’d secretly thank me for killing him.”

Matt shakes his head at you with a smile, though his eyes tell you he thinks you’re crazy, before looking back down at his phone.

“Killing who?” A voice sounds from the doorway and you look up to see the man of the hour staring back at you, a disinterested look on his face.

“You,” you smile sweetly up at Chris.

“That’s nice,” he says, flashing you a fake, tight lipped smile before turning to his brother. “Hey, can you take me to go get food?”

Matt groans and throws his head back, closing his eyes. “But I’m so comfortable,” he whines.

You take a deep breath and consider your options. Chris, who you hate but have known for years, or a random guy who might be a serial killer? You’d definitely be safer with Chris, but the thought of having to be near him without his brothers for an entire night seemed like hell. Especially having to act like you were pleased to be in his presence.

“I’ll take you,” you speak before you can stop yourself.

Both Matt and Chris look at you with shocked expressions, Chris having a bit of disgust in his eyes.

“I’d rather starve, thanks,” Chris replies. “Matt, c’mon seriously, can you take me?” He asks again.

“Chris,” you say in a stern voice, standing up from the bed and walking towards him. “Let me take you. I need to talk to you.”

Chris watches you walk past him through the doorway and then looks back at Matt, shooting him a confused look, to which his brother just shrugs, before he leaves to follow you, finding you by the front door slipping your crocs on.

“The fuck is this about?” He asks, trotting down the stairs to meet you by the front door. “You in love with me or some shit?”

You look up at him with an unamused expression. “You wish I was in love with you.” You huff. “I told you, I gotta talk to you.”

You open the front door and head outside towards your car, opening the drivers side door. You look behind you and see Chris standing in the doorway, staring after you. “I’ll buy your food,” you tell him, and he immediately shuts the door behind him and walks up to your car. “You should’ve led with that!” He says.

You both get in your car and you start driving. “Where do you want to go?” You ask him, turning your head to see him on his phone. “Chris,” you push, reaching out to smack his phone out of his hand, causing it to land on the floor.

“What the fuck, dude. Unnecessary.” Chris huffs, reaching down to grab his phone, but he tucked it between his legs instead of going back on it. “I don’t know, McDonald’s?”

You groan. “You always get McDonald’s. Can’t we get like Popeyes or something?”

Chris looks at you, raising an eyebrow. “Well I didn’t know you were gonna eat, too, jesus. Sure, Popeyes is fine.” He goes for his phone again, but you reach out and grab his hand, stopping him.

“Wait,” you start. “I actually do need to talk to you.”

Chris sighs and puts his phone away in his pocket completely, looking over at you. “Okay, spit it out then.”

You flash a glare at him quickly before returning your eyes to the road. “So… Matt was going to be my plus one for a wedding I’m going to, but he can’t go anymore because something came up, and I can’t ask Nick because he’s gay and that just won’t work, and so that just leaves you.” You tell him nervously.

“So what if he’s gay, your family homophobic or something?” Chris asks, annoyance lacing his voice.

You sigh and pull into the Popeyes parking lot, pulling into a spot and throwing the car into park before you turn your body to face Chris. “No, they’re not homophobic. It’s just… I kind of told them I was bringing a boyfriend.”

Chris stares at you for a moment before laughing, completely unserious. “You? A boyfriend? That’s hilarious. I can’t believe you’re lying to your family about having a boyfriend.”

You don’t laugh though, you just drop your eyes down to your lap, knowing that this was exactly how the conversation would go.

“Wait a minute, that means you want me to pretend I’m your boyfriend? Fuck no, I’d rather be single for the rest of my life. Forget it, dude, you’re shit outta luck with me.” Chris shakes his head, bringing a hand up to run through his hair.

You nod and start backing out of the spot, heading towards the drive-thru. “Yeah I figured that was how you’d respond,” you murmur.

You guys order your food, and you still pay for it, staying true to your word, before heading home. It was a quick but quiet ride back, both of you getting out of the car without a word, not even a ‘thank you’ shot your way. You take your shoes off and head back up to Matt’s room, seeing him in the same position you left him in, only now he was watching a movie, and you got in his bed to join him with your food.

“How’d it go?” He asked, reaching out to steal one of your fries.

“Exactly how I expected it to go. He laughed in my face and said he’d rather be single for the rest of his life than pretend to be my boyfriend,” you tell Matt, looking down at him from where you sat.

Matt smiles up at you, reaching out to pat your leg. “Sorry, kid. You tried.”

You nod and look up at the tv screen, starting to eat your dinner.

-

The next day, you’re sitting on your couch panting your toes and watching your favorite comfort show when you hear the doorbell ring, startling you as you weren’t expecting anybody over today. You look down at your toes and swear under your breath, seeing that you smeared polish along your skin.

You set down the polish on the table and stand up, walking to your door and pulling it open, jaw dropping in shock when you come face to face with Chris, the last person you expected to show up at your door unannounced. You almost wanted to rub your eyes in case you were mistaking him for another triplet, but you knew your eyes didn’t deceive you.

“Chris?” You question. “How did you get here?”

He rolls his eyes at you. “I ubered?” He says like it’s obvious. “You gonna let me in or what?”

You take a step back and let him into your house, shutting the door behind him. “So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” You say, sitting back down on your couch. He follows and sits at the opposite end, looking over at you.

He ignores your question, watching you as you continue to do your toes, cleaning up the mess you made. “Why not just get your toes done?” He asks.

You look at him with an annoyed expression. “Costs money? Why spend money when I can sit around and do it myself?” You go back to painting your toes. “Why are you here?”

Chris shrugs. “Been thinking about what you said yesterday, about the wedding.”

You stop what you’re doing and put the polish back down, turning your attention on Chris completely. “Did you change your mind?” You ask him.

He sighs and licks his lips before speaking. “Consider it my charity for the year,” he smiles, tilting his head at you. “But I need a small favor from you.”

“A favor in return isn’t charity, Chris, it’s like… eye for an eye or whatever.” You look at him deadpan. Of course he’d want something in return, he could never do something for you out of the goodness of his heart.

“Whatever, dude, you want my help or not?” Chris asks. “If not I’ll just leave, doesn’t make a difference to me.”

You huff and give in. “Fine. What’s the favor?” You ask him.

He pulls out his phone, scooting a bit closer to you on the couch. “There’s this girl that will not stop hitting me up and she’s driving me crazy. I told her I’m not interested, I’ve ignored her messages, I even blocked her on snap to see if she’d get the hint but she still texts me every day.” He shows you all of the unanswered messages and your jaw drops.

“Holy shit, what does this girl see in you?” You laugh, reading how desperate she was for Chris.

“Funny,” Chris replies, unamused.

“What does this have to do with me?” You ask him, looking back up at his face.

“I think it’s only fair if I pretend to be your boyfriend at the wedding, you pretend to be my girlfriend on social media. Only for a few weeks or until she stops messaging me. Plus, you’re way hotter than her. ” Chris tells you, and by the tone of his voice, he’s completely serious.

You feel heat rising up your neck and you try to get it under control before your cheeks turn red. “You think I’m hot?” You ask him, a teasing lilt in your voice.

“Not the point,” he replies.

“So you tell me that you would rather be single for the rest of your life than pretend to be my boyfriend, and now you want me to pretend I’m your girlfriend?” You clarify, and he just nods, like it’s no big deal. “Pretending to be together at an event is one thing, but you want to take photos to look like a couple? That’s a little… intimate don’t you think?”

Chris shrugs his shoulders. “I’m a big boy, you’re a big girl. Don’t think you can handle a little physical touch without falling for me?” He smirks, leaning in closer to you.

You grimace and reach up to push his shoulder away. “Gross, dude. I could have sex with you and still not fall in love with you and your terrible personality.”

Chris gasps, fake shocked, throwing a hand to his chest. “I am a very good lover, why do you think this girl won’t stop texting me?”

Your eyes widen. “You had sex with her?!” You shriek. “Chris, no wonder she keeps blowing your shit up!”

Chris groans and throws his head back, leaning it on the back of the couch. “It was supposed to be a one time thing, I don’t know why she’s so hung up on me!”

You find yourself giggling a bit before you stop and clear your throat, not wanting to give Chris the satisfaction of making you laugh. You compose yourself and shake your head, clearly disappointed in the boy across from you. “Fine, I’ll pretend to be your girlfriend, but no kissing! I draw the line at kissing.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry, I don’t want to kiss you,” Chris cringes. “So… I guess we should start planning this?”

You nod and smile towards him, placing your hands in your lap as you guys start to figure out how to execute both individual plans.

-

a/n: this chapter is SUPER short but it’s kinda just to get a feel of the fic and how it’s gonna play out. I really hope you guys like this series im so nervous about it!!

taglist

@liiixsturniolos @madelinesturn @st6niolo @mattslolita @ifwdominicfike @sophand4n4 @chris-hallelujah @sophsturns @ariana2saucyy @045696

[darlingdaisyfarm]

hurt/comfort with mullet!Stan

You’re leaning into him, practically melting in the warmth of his arms, but the weight on your heart isn’t lifting. Stan shifts beside you, so undeniably present, like he’s willing to be your anchor, even if he doesn’t know how to say it. The old couch creaks under you both, the whole shack silent except for the soft crackling of the cigarette you share between fingers, trading embers and breaths.

Stan’s brow furrows as he takes a slow drag, glancing over at you. You know his eyes are watching, obviously he’s studying you.

Finally, he shifts and says bluntly, “you’re wound up tighter than a cheap watch, ya know? somethin’ gnawin’ at you, huh?”

You exhale, watching the thin line of smoke spiral up. “Yeah. . . you could say that.” the ache in your chest tightens. Everything you’re carrying feels so complicated, like tangled threads you can’t even begin to sort through.

Stan just watches you, thinking, then he takes another drag and hands the cigarette back to you, nodding toward it. “Ain’t gonna solve a damn thing if you’re just gonna sit there and look miserable, sweetheart. Might as well get it off your chest.”

You manage a small laugh, bitterness slipping into the sound. “It’s. . . it’s just a lot, Stan. I don’t know where to start.”

Stan pulls you closer, resting his arm along the back of the couch. “Look, I ain’t no therapist, but sittin’ here mopin’ like a lost puppy ain’t gonna do jack. Spill it. Even if I’m a crap listener, you’re gettin’ it out, yeah?”

You look at him, into his dark brown eyes and find nothing, but pure worry here, even if his rough voice doesn’t match his care, somehow that’s still exactly what you need. A presence, even if he’s not exactly gentle about it. It’s the only kind of reassurance he knows how to give.

“I just. . . keep feeling like nothing I do is ever enough. No matter how hard I try, everything just feels like it’s slipping out of my control,” you confess, voice a little shaky.

Stan’s thumb brushes along your shoulder as he pulls you in tighter. His voice, when he speaks, is softer but laced with his usual rough honesty. “Well, first off, quit thinkin’ you gotta have it all together. Life ain’t a freakin’ checklist. You’re allowed to screw up, you’re allowed to be a mess. Hell, look at me, if I can keep goin’ after all the crap I’ve pulled, you’re more than allowed to trip over your own feet once in a while.”

He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead and it feels like a promise. He may not have all the answers, but he’s here and that matters.

Your voice is small when you say, “but I don’t wanna screw up, I feel like I’m letting everyone down.”

Stan grunts, his tone turning a little sharper. “Listen, you’re human. People who care about you ain’t gonna ditch ya just ‘cause you’re strugglin’. And if they do, fuck ‘em. They’re the ones missin’ out on the best damn person I know. Hell, you’re more than enough just as you are.”

A warmth blossoms in your chest, breaking through the ache, his words unexpectedly softening the edges of your pain. You look at him, really look, and see the sincerity buried beneath that gruff exterior.

His hand comes up to brush along your cheek, thumb grazing your skin. “You got a good heart, sweetheart. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, tell ya otherwise. If you keep beatin’ yourself up for not bein’ perfect, you’re just gonna make yourself miserable.”

For a moment, there’s nothing but the two of you and the soft glow of his affection wraps around you like a blanket. You lean in, resting your head on his shoulder, feeling his steady heartbeat against you. Stanley sighs, letting his hand drift down your back in slow, comforting strokes.

You’re quiet, breathing him in, the warmth of his skin, the smoky scent of his clothes. And then, in a low murmur, he adds, “You think life’s about havin’ it all figured out? Pfft. Life’s about fallin’ on your ass, pickin’ yourself up, and keepin’ goin’ ‘cause that’s what makes you strong. The way I see it? You’ve already got that part down.”

You let out a shaky laugh, the sound a bit wet with unshed tears. “You make it sound so. . . simple.”

Stan chuckles. “Ain’t sayin’ it’s easy, kid. Just sayin’ you’re tougher than you think. And if ya ever forget that, I’ll be right here to remind ya.”

Stanley leans in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, his hand cradling the back of your head. You close your eyes, letting yourself sink into the moment, his roughness somehow grounding you in a way you hadn’t realized you needed.

“You’re somethin’ special, don’t let anyone, including yourself, make ya think otherwise.”

and then Stan grins, tipping your chin up to meet his gaze. “And if anyone’s got a problem with that, they can answer to me.”

[enbysiriusblack]

james x sirius and all or any

all 💀

1. Describe their first date.

they go to the forbidden forest and run around in their animagus forms for an hour. they then make out against a tree, eat some baked goods that james' parents sent him and come up with prank ideas

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late?

james wakes up early, sirius sleeps in late (sometimes. i feel like his sleep schedule would be all over the place)

3. What was their first impression of each other?

sirius thought james was interesting and seemed very free and easygoing and fun. james thought sirius was very funny and unique.

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

both but i feel like maybe slightly more sirius. because sirius is more restrictive with wanting affection, that james knows he's more comfortable with being the one to initiate it first

5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

they don't. sometimes very mundane/playful arguments but rarely, they tend to agree or enjoy compromising for each other

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

i mean if they did have an argument, james would probably make it up with very sappy romantic gestures & words & apologies. sirius is just brutally honest and rationalises their argument & just says he's sorry if he is

7. How often do they say “I love you”?

everyday

8. What do they love most about the other? Why?

sirius loves james' sense of humour, his open heartedness, his abs, his passion, sense of adventure, competitiveness

james loves sirius' sense of humour, his biting wit, his handsomeness, his passion, his sense of adventure, his coolness

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

nothing ever.

10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

they both enjoy sports & talked a lot about their quidditch teams when they first met, james finds sirius' mechanic hobby interesting but doesn't really understand the actual thing but tries to help out (he passes him random tools and yaps whilst sirius works). james loves hobbies. he has like 30. by that logic sirius is gonna share some of the same. but also they're so codependent that even if they don't particularly enjoy a hobby, they will embrace it in order to spend time with each other

11. How do they feel about nicknames/pet names? If they like them, what pet names do they use? If they hate them, why do they feel that way?

they mostly just use their marauding nicknames (prongs & padfoot).

james does call sirius pet names as a joke (love, darling, sweetie, etc.) just cause sirius gets icked out by them

they call each other mate whilst snogging, on a date, raising a kid, etc.

12. Do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

extremely difficult fucking time. practically impossible for them.

13. How do they keep in contact when they’re apart? Do they write letters, talk on the phone, or simply wait out the time?

the two-way mirrors & writing letters constantly

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

james likes it but sirius isn't too big a fan of it. so they kinda tend to just sit on each others laps and hold hands and stuff but don't really snog in public often

they do not count affection in front of remus or peter as public. so they do that A LOT.

15. What songs remind you of their relationship?

you're my best friend by queen, treehouse by alex g, i wanna be your dog by joan jett & the blackhearts, invisible string by taylor swift, naked in manhattan by chappell roan

16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?

they absolutely would. it'd either be like sirius getting deer antlers for james and james getting the canis major constellation or just a super weird random thing like both getting a tattoo of a ham sandwich or something

17. How well do they communicate? Are they open with their feelings/thoughts or more reserved? Why?

very well. very open with their feelings & thoughts. however i think james would have trouble differentiating his feelings for platonic or romantic so would kinda be a bit wobbly in that aspect

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

like overbearing parents

19. Do they wear each other’s clothes/jewelry?

all the fucking time

20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

sirius gets james to go play quidditch or go a run together or something and an hour or so into that james will tend to then end up venting. it is very effective

james finds a place for them to be alone and will seat close next to him and yap away about nothing for ages. also very effective

21. Do they enjoy domestic life?

very much so (james the stay at home husband/dad and sirius working in a job he loves <33)

22. Are they comfortable joking around with each other and being silly/playful?

very much so

23. What are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

codependent & hot

24. How do their personalities affect their relationship? Do their characteristics compliment each other, or clash often?

compliment each other in kinda clashy way? if that makes sense.

25. Do they share a room/house? If so, what does it look like and how does it compliment their personalities?

ish (i mean the dorm & living together at the potters for a quick minute). with the dorm (ignoring peter & remus' influences), james makes it a big of a mess which sirius has a tendency to clean up (however james will help when he notices sirius begin doing so), and sirius puts up a lot of posters. they'd also have like darts and a foosball table and stuff fs

26. What sacrifices do they make for the other

uhhh they'd sacrifice literally anything for each other ever. but specifically i can see sirius sacrificing meat when he's eating with james since james is a vegetarian (solidarity 💪💪), and james sacrifices uhh showing off ig

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

looking at each other

28. Who’s the better chef? Do they cook for the other?

james is the better cook but sirius is the better baker. they cook together (euphemia teaching them both)

29. Describe their nighttime routine.

brush their teeth together, get changed, sirius reads whilst james writes to his parents, they proceed to talk in their respective beds for an hour before james falls asleep, sirius then has a fag and reads more for a few hours before turning into padfoot and sleeping in james' bed

30. What are their respective love languages? Do their love languages work well together?

both are quality time and acts of service, but james also commonly give the other three too. so works well

31. Do they often go out on dates? What are these like?

probably all the fucking time. they'd go hang out with their friends then halfway through would call it a date and claim their friends are interrupting them

32. Do either of them drink? If so, who’s the lightweight, and how does their partner care for them?

depends. i sometimes write james as drinking, sometimes don't. i like to write sirius drinking a lot and then later going sober. but james would def be the lightweight between them nonetheless

33. How do they flirt? Who’s the worse flirt?

sirius doesn't really flirt (at least not on purpose). james constantly flirts and is shit at it

34. Do they have any inside jokes?

many many many

35. Is their relationship a secret? If so, why?

probably not. like you could say maybe giving the 70s but also 1. i can't see them giving it a shit, and 2. is wizarding society homophobic?? idk

36. How do they feel about having kids? Are they in agreement?

younger sirius def wouldn't i feel but like. as he gets older i think he'd lowkey want kids. james wants kids so bad.

37. Who’s more emotionally sensitive/cries more often?

james

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

sirius

39. When and how did they admit that they loved each other? If they haven’t yet, why?

platonically?? like end of first year maybe. when they're having to leave at the end of school year

not platonically?? sirius offhandedly saying to james and james not realising he meant in that way and sirius corrects him and james is like "oh. right. well yeah, of course i feel the same, mate?? i love you in every conceivable way"

40. Do they have any regrets in their relationship?

hmm nah. idk. 🧍🏻‍♂️

41. What would they do if they lost the other?

well sirius would apparently go after the person responsible, spend over a decade in prison wrongfully convicted, escape to save his son, end up on the run then trapped in his childhood house, then dying

james would crumble.

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

james despises sirius' family. curses them out on the daily. is their biggest hater.

sirius adores james' family so so so much and they love him too

they have all the same friends so 😭😭

43. If they picked out outfits for each other, what would they look like?

james would be in something a lot more stylish, a little more punk and black, and with half his chest on display. sirius would be in the tinest shorts ever, and james' favourite quidditch team's jersey (yes they'd be dressing each other in their own clothes)

44. Do they cuddle often? Why or why not?

always. in every form (animagi)

45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?

uhhh in every single possible way? they laugh at each other for failing like mundane stuff tho

46. Do they consider their relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?

they deem it the most serious relationship ever ever ever (however early stages they'd be like confessing their undying love, snogging constantly, etc. then turn around and be like "oh it's just casual in that aspect and we'll probably stop soon, our friendship love is what's truly important and will never die"

47. Do they sleep beside each other? Why or why not?

all the damn time. constantly.

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

yeah. they're always talking so ofc it'd come up at some point.

49. Do they keep secrets from each other?

no

50. Would they ever break up? If so, why? Who would handle the breakup better?

they would never. ride or die fr.

ask game

[danielmolloystits]

looks just like an angel (Armand/Daniel, 1/1)

Summary:

The man in the chair—who Daniel assumes must be the priest, judging by his black button-down and white collar—looks up and smiles as he enters, all gleaming white teeth like one of those ads for toothpaste that four out of five dentists recommend. He has deep skin and dark, curly hair that he keeps having to brush away from his brown eyes. “Hello,” the priests greets him. “Welcome.” “Um,” Daniel says. “Hi.” — The drug den Daniel wakes up in after his encounter with Louis and Armand gets busted, and Armand decides to pretend to be the priest at his court-ordered N.A. meetings. That’s it. That’s the fic.

Pairing: M/M, Armand/Daniel Molloy (Devil's Minion) Rating: E WC: 5,555

It’s 9:52 in the morning. Daniel’s mouth tastes like he ate roadkill for breakfast and his head is pounding so loud he wants to tell it to come back with a warrant. Across from him sits his probation officer, whose name he’s pretty sure is Sarah, wielding a kind expression and a notepad that contains a quick summary of Daniel’s many sins.

So far, he likes Sarah. Sarah is nice. Sarah is telling him how she’s going to get him through this without it destroying his entire life. Well, she hasn’t used those precise words, exactly, but Daniel has been able to glean the gist of it—she’s been saying things like “first offense” and “dismiss the charges” and it has all vaguely sounded like it might not screw everything up for him forever.

So that’s something, at least.

“Of course, pretrial diversion does come with some requirements on your end,” Probably-Sarah is saying, with a look of what appears to be genuine concern on her face. Maybe she’s a good liar, but Daniel thinks there’s a chance she actually cares about the dumb hungover kid who’s half-sitting, half-melting in her office chair. “You’ll need to start attending NA—Narcotics Anonymous, that is—and we’re going to administer periodic drug tests to make sure you’re keeping clean.”

Christ, he’s such an idiot. A stupid fucking idiot who’s just lucky to not be dead right now. His innards churn miserably in agreement with that thought, and Daniel hopes that they’re at the tail end of this pretrial check-in thingy. He really doesn’t want to throw up on this nice lady’s carpet.

Sarah continues, “But if you hold up your end of the bargain, then I’ll hold up mine.” She smiles at him, apparently oblivious to the imminently-threatening hostage situation that is Daniel’s stomach right now. It’s kind of sweet, though; she looks like she really believes he’s gonna make it through this program. Like she thinks he could maybe be somebody someday.

A bright young reporter with a point of view.

“And if all goes well, then after your probationary period is up, you’ll never have to see me again.” She tilts her head at him, and sure, it’s condescending. But, like, in the nice way moms are sometimes. “Let’s try to make sure that happens, yeah?” She passes him a stack of papers that repeat all of the information she just gave him verbally, which Daniel is grateful for, because it’s been challenging to try to pay attention when his insides are so valiantly attempting to become his outsides. “I’ll see you two weeks from now.”

Daniel nods and hurries out of the room, right as the hostage situation devolves into a massacre with no survivors. He swallows against the gastric acid and bits of egg that are currently attempting to escape his throat and rushes to the single-stall bathroom down the hall, sending a prayer of thanks to every higher power he can think of that it’s unoccupied. By some small miracle, he manages to keep his shit together until he is on his knees in front of the toilet, at which point everything he’s put in his body for the past week unceremoniously comes back out.

Idly, he wonders how many public bathrooms he’s done this in by now, how many times he has been in this same stupid situation—his mouth and nose hovering above a filthy fucking toilet seat that’s touched the asses of God knows how many strangers—as the choices from the night before come back to haunt him like an ex-lover after a bad breakup.

Too many, he thinks. Definitely too many.

He looks down at where the informational materials are still crumpled in his left fist, pastel-colored pamphlets with titles like Self-Acceptance and Am I An Addict?, and thinks he could probably use a break from living like this. Thinks maybe this won’t be such a bad thing if it leads to him finally getting clean.

After all, it sure as hell can’t get any worse.

***

Two nights later, Daniel arrives at the church closest to where he’s staying in the Castro, which the Welcome to Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet told him hosts meetings three nights a week. Our Lady of Most Holy and Ardent Redemptions, or whatever. He doesn’t actually remember, but he’s sure it was something like that: all overwrought and Catholic, a name that’s meant to imply you have to absolve yourself for the crime of being born.

As he walks through the vestibule, he’s surprised to find it utterly abandoned, blanketed in a thick layer of silence that clings to the dusty pews and eggshell-colored walls like a film. It’s eerie, almost, this conspicuous absence of life—if it weren’t for the printed-out sign attached to the back of the pulpit that reads NA meeting downstairs in Rosary Room!, he’d assume he’d gone to the wrong place entirely. As it is, he wanders around the nave with a vague sense of unease until he finds the stairs to the basement, then follows the unsettlingly-cheery instructions of yet more signs until he reaches one that says NA Meeting here!!! taped to a mahogany door.

For a moment, he has the absurd impulse to knock, as if he’s intruding on something he shouldn’t be. He shakes himself out of it and opens the door.

Inside, there isn’t much to look at: a handful of low bookshelves pressed snugly against the wall, a long table with a coffee pot and an unopened box of donuts, and seven or eight folding chairs arranged in a circle.

Only one of them is occupied.

The man in the chair—who Daniel assumes must be the priest, judging by his black button-down and white collar—looks up and smiles as he enters, all gleaming white teeth like one of those ads for toothpaste that four out of five dentists recommend. He has deep skin and dark, curly hair that he keeps having to brush away from his brown eyes.

“Hello,” the priests greets him. “Welcome.”

“Um,” Daniel says. “Hi.”

“It would seem you are our only attendee for this evening.” A sheepish little laugh rumbles out from the priest’s chest as he adds, “I suppose sobriety is not so much in vogue these days.” He has an accent, Daniel notes, like maybe he emigrated from England but was somewhere else before that. The way it squeezes around his vowels is dimly familiar.

“Guess not,” Daniel agrees, casting a sideways glance at all of the empty chairs. The poor attendance doesn’t bode great for the overall well-being of the Castro’s citizenry, he reckons; it’s certainly not because they don’t need to be here. “Isn’t NA supposed to be group therapy? Is it still gonna...work?”

The priest chuckles softly again, a light exhalation of air to break the stillness in the room. “Yes, though it appears our session will perhaps be a touch more intimate than most. I hope you don’t mind a bit of individualized attention.” His eyes sparkle, almost seem to shine, as he gestures for Daniel to take the seat across from him. “Please, sit. I’m Father Armand.”

He does. “Daniel.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Daniel,” Father Armand says sweetly, and wow, he has really thick eyelashes. So thick and dark that Daniel wonders briefly whether he’s wearing mascara—though he isn’t sure whether priests are allowed to do that. “What brings you to Narcotics Anonymous?”

“Um.” He stutters, flushed and awkward with the weight of Father Armand’s undivided attention. “This is the part where I’m supposed to say I’m an addict, right?”

“It’s just us, Daniel,” the other man replies, in a low and conspiratorial whisper. Like the two of them are getting away with something, like this is a part of an inside joke they’ve shared for years. “You may say whatever you’d like.”

“What if I don’t want to say anything?”

“That’s fine, too,” Father Armand answers easily, a reassuring smile on his face. “Though we might not make much progress on the issues that brought you here if we sit in silence.”

“Fair enough,” Daniel says. “All right, I guess I’m here because a court ordered it. I’d really rather not be.”

“This is not the outcome you’d have wanted, then, but perhaps it is the one you need.” And, warm and friendly as he is trying to be, the priest’s stare seems to cut straight through him, right down to the ugly things inside him that he endeavors to hide. It is wildly discomforting. “An intervention from a higher power, of sorts.”

“Not how I’d put it, personally,” Daniel says, simultaneously bemused and on-edge. He scratches an itch on his forehead. “More like an intervention from the SFPD.”

“Even the SFPD answers to God, Daniel.”

“O-kay.” Unsurprisingly, the fatalistic religious bullshit is not doing much to set Daniel at ease in this situation. “But yeah. I’m, uh. Here because I got busted. In a drug den.”

“What were you doing in a drug den?”

“Well.” Daniel blinks at him. “Drugs, mostly.”

“Yes, that much is obvious,” Father Armand says, waving a gloved hand dismissively. “But what compelled you to the drug den in the first place?” Then, before Daniel can answer, he continues, “Don’t say ‘drugs’ again.”

Daniel was definitely about to say ‘drugs’ again. “I’m not sure what you’re looking for here, man,” he answers instead, shrugging one shoulder noncommittally. “I like getting high. Not a lot more to it.”

“There’s always more to it,” the priest replies, sage-like and frustratingly stoic. “Whether we want to admit to it or not.”

“Orrr,” he drawls the single syllable out sarcastically, “maybe it’s just not worth telling. I was there because I wanted to do drugs and I got caught, dude.”

Father Armand hums thoughtfully. “Surely something in the evening must have led you there, though.”

“I don’t really remember,” Daniel says, and he’s maybe starting to lose his patience a little. “Probably on account of being radically high.”

“You can’t recall anything about the evening other than its conclusion?” In the dim lighting of the basement, the priest’s expression is difficult to read.

He frowns. “I might’ve met a guy at a bar, before. I think I was at Polynesian Mary’s, maybe?”

“Do you meet guys at bars often, Daniel?”

Immediately, he tenses, a frisson of indignation alighting in his gut at the priest’s thinly-veiled judgment.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He probably should’ve known better than to expect anything approaching compassion or understanding from the Catholic fucking Church. Lesson learned for next time—maybe the Episcopalians are running NA somewhere in the city.

“I meant no offense, Daniel,” Father Armand says, voice calm and composed in stark contrast to Daniel’s rising indignation. “I’m just inquiring as to your habits, to get a sense of where you could benefit from some lifestyle changes.”

“Oh, and I’m sure whatever you think I’m doing with these men is high on that list, right? This is the Castro, dude. Fuck you.”

“You have quite a lot of anger,” the priest comments dryly, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees as though he’s inspecting Daniel. “Is that what drives you to use?”

Is that what makes you fascinating?

“No, seriously, dude: fuck you. I’m not putting up with this shit.” He stands to leave, but Father Armand reaches out and grabs his wrist before he can, his grip unexpectedly steely.

“A reminder, Daniel, that your participation in this process is necessary if you wish to avoid jail time,” he says, still smiling that same, infuriating smile.

Daniel stops in his tracks. “Maybe not. I’ll work something out with my P.O., I’ll–”

“Yes, Sarah, was it?” Father Armand asks. “I wonder how she would react to news of your resistance to the process.”

“You–”

“I’m only here to help, Daniel,” the priest interrupts with an infuriatingly placid smile. “Now, are you intending to cooperate, or shall I go ahead and inform Sarah of your refusal to participate?” He gestures once more for Daniel to sit, his expression replete with a cool smugness. Begrudgingly, Daniel complies.

“Fucking—whatever, fine.” He closes his eyes and exhales noisily through his nose, trying to will himself into a state of calm. When he opens them again, the priest is staring at him expectantly. “I guess I use because I...I get bored.”

“Bored of what?”

“I dunno, dude.” He shrugs. “Sobriety. Life. Everything.”

Father Armand leans in even closer. “Interesting.”

“If you say so, man.” Daniel rolls his eyes. “Mostly it’s just tedious. I mean, all of it.”

“How so?” There is nothing but apparent sincerity in the question, which makes Daniel’s shoulders relax a fraction.

“It’s the same shit every day, isn’t it? Wake up, go to work, eat dinner, watch TV, over and over until you die,” he says, and the priest nods along as he speaks attentively. “At least drugs break up the monotony a little.”

The unnamed malaise you feel on Sunday afternoons.

“Sure,” Father Armand agrees breezily, his eyes never straying from Daniel’s. “If you do them once in a while, maybe. But they’ve become part of your routine, haven’t they?”

Daniel crosses his arms belligerently. “You don’t know me, man. You’re not my fuckin’ friend.”

“I’m not here to be your friend, Daniel,” Father Armand replies, tone clipped and succinct; annoyed, almost. But then, more delicately, he adds, “I’m here to help you get better. The first step is admitting you have a problem, no?”

“I guess.” Daniel slumps back in his seat, running a hand over his face in exasperation. “All right, so let’s say I have a problem. What next?”

“The next step is coming to believe in a power greater than yourself.” The priest’s hands are clasped together, his thumbs twiddling idly as he speaks, “One that is capable of delivering you from your illness.”

“So, what,” Daniel deadpans. “I’ve gotta convert to Catholicism?”

“If you’re so inclined,” Father Armand responds wryly, as if he’s privy to some great secret that eludes the poor, ailing addict. Daniel wonders in that moment how old the other man is. He can’t have too many years on Daniel, surely, but he seems so much older that it’s almost a little unnerving. “However, it could be anything, really; your love for your family, your will to live. It could even be me, if you wanted.”

He says it like it’s meant to be another bad joke, but something about it brings Daniel up short. Like he’s not really joking at all, actually. “You could be my higher power?” he asks flatly, unsettled and using a fair amount of bluster to cover it. “Isn’t that sort of sacrilegious?”

“I’m not suggesting you pray to me; I’m suggesting you allow me to carry some of the pain that troubles you. To share in the weight of the dreary mundanities that lead you to use.” The priest’s eyes bore into his, his tone soft and reassuring. “I assure you, Daniel, God will have nothing to say about it.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

Father Armand smiles. “I want to help you. Is that so difficult to believe?”

And it is, really. But despite his misgivings—practically against his will—a sense of calm washes over Daniel at the sound of the priest’s voice; the crash of a wave lapping gently at a shoreline, soothing the impotent swell of restless irritation that has been building inside of him since he first sat down. All of that rage, those years and years of tiresome anger, snuffed out as easily as the flickering light of a candle. With nothing more than a few words, Father Armand has taken the heft of that burden from him, as effortlessly as if Daniel had handed it over to him willingly.

Rest, now.

Maybe he wouldn’t mind so much after all, he thinks—putting the confusing knot of chaos inside of him into someone else’s hands. Maybe it would be nice to give his will over to something greater than himself.

“Okay,” Daniel hears himself saying, as though from a great distance. He’s hardly even aware he’s speaking. “Okay. It can be you.”

Rest.

Father Armand beams at him then, and Daniel realizes for the first time how beautiful he is; he looks just like an angel in a Renaissance painting, like a portrait of a martyred saint. His eyes seem less brown, now, closer to the rich and vibrant glow of an ember. Of course Daniel can trust him. Of course.

“Excellent,” he says, and his hands extend to clasp around one of Daniel’s. The leather over his skin is cold. “You are safe with me, Daniel.”

Rest.

Mutely, Daniel nods. The part of him that wishes to object is so quickly subdued, as if smothered by an insistent hand.

“Now,” Father Armand begins, the dingy gold of the basement lights glistening off of his teeth, “you’re going to tell me about what happened before the drug den. What do you remember, Daniel?”

I’m the quiet you’ve been longing for.

As the unspoken words pierce through the veil of his cognition, Daniel jerks like a sleeper agent awakened. In between one moment and the next, his mind is inundated with lurid images of an apartment, the apartment he was in before he wound up in the den: a man—if he can even be called a man—who looks so much like the priest is hovering over Daniel, whispering devastating kindnesses into his ear until the fight slowly drains from his body. He tries to hold onto the shape of them, to remember what it was that happened, but the flashes slip through his fingers as easily as soap bubbles off of a dinner plate. As he reaches for them, grasps at them, a pressure builds in the base of his skull like a low roll of thunder, and a scream tears through his shaking body. He cannot hear it over the ringing in his ears, but he can feel it, feel it rattle his chest and reverberate in his bones. It is agony, unending and complete. It is torture.

The only comfort through all of it is the weight of Father Armand’s hand around his own.

“It hurts,” Daniel whines, instinctively trying to shy away from the throbbing fissure in his head by leaning further into Father Armand’s touch. Tears prick the corners of his eyes like pins.

“Does it?” the priest asks, voice steady and still like the face of a mountain. “Good. Pain is your body’s way of telling you to avoid something. If it hurts, move away from it.”

Daniel sobs, and the next thing he knows he is on the ground, having fallen off of his chair; the hard press of the floor underneath him is the only thing holding him up. “Please,” he begs, not really sure what it is he’s asking for.

A cool finger crooks under his chin to tilt his head up. Through his swimming vision, Daniel sees Father Armand looking down at him. “Do you want me to make it stop?”

“Yes,” he breathes, his body curling up into the fetal position like a dying cockroach. “Please.”

The priest frowns, dispassionate. “What would you do for it? What would you give?”

I could be on my knees in a second.

Another burst of pain blossoms underneath Daniel’s eyes and he winces, cries out. “Anything,” he promises, his fingers reaching out to clutch at the leg of Father Armand’s trousers. “I’d give anything.”

“Would you give me money, Daniel?”

He nods enthusiastically even as the motion of it only exacerbates his anguish. “Yeah,” he says, “everything I have.”

“Hmm,” the priest hums. His expression as he watches Daniel is calculating, frigid. Slowly, he lifts one Doc Marten-booted foot to rest on Daniel’s chest. “Would you give me your obedience?”

Instinctively, Daniel’s spine straightens under the weight of his heel, the firm way it presses down on him a strange but poignant comfort in his addled state. The feeling it grants him is not quite relief, but it is something adjacent to it, something that loosens the tightly-wound tangle of anxiety that squeezes his lungs. He craves more of it. “Yes.”

“Yes what, Daniel?”

He swallows roughly. “Yes, Father.”

Lowly, the priest murmurs, “Good boy.” He runs his tongue over his teeth, his gaze growing half-lidded and hungry. “Ask me what you can do for me, Daniel.”

A shudder runs through him, sharp and electric. His mouth tastes of ozone. “What can I do for you, Father?”

The priest grins at him, then, wicked and predatory. “Worship me.”

The words echo around Daniel’s mind like a hollow room, silencing all other thought. Silencing the terrible cacophony that has been threatening to rend his very self in two. He squirms with the ecstasy of it—the unparalleled bliss of reprieve—mewling his acquiescence to the priest’s demand.

He can feel Father Armand’s pleasure at his submission trickling like a leaky faucet down his spine. “Do you feel that, Daniel?” he asks, as calmly as if he were asking about the weather.

Tears are still streaming down Daniel’s cheeks; his nose is stuffed and snotty from crying. “Yes, Father,” he croaks.

“That is solace, my dear boy,” the priest tells him, unwavering and impassive. “I have given it to you, and I can take it away from you just as easily.”

At the thought of the pain returning, a fierce panic slices through Daniel, hot and pointed as a knife in his guts. “No,” he moans, his bottom lip quivering as he stares at Father Armand. “Please don’t.”

The boot presses down harder, pinning him to the yellowed carpet. “You forget yourself, Daniel,” the priest replies.

He whimpers and corrects himself: “Please don’t, Father.”

“That’s better,��� Father Armand says with a mean twist of his lips. “Tell me: where is your place?”

And Daniel has played this role before, knows the script by heart. Could recite it in his sleep if he had to. “Beneath you, Father.”

The priest grinds his heel into Daniel’s sternum, then, wrenching a pitiful cry from between the boy’s lips. It hurts, of course, but in a different way than before; this isn’t the horror of his soul being cracked in half and poured over the ground. This is a familiar pain, a welcome one, one that Daniel arches up into like a cat stretching its back.

“Do you like that, Daniel?” Father Armand asks, a trace of amusement coloring his voice. “Do you like it when I hurt you?”

Wordlessly, Daniel nods, because he does. He always has. He’s always pining to feel something, anything. Whatever it takes if it means not being bored.

“Say it.”

“I like it,” Daniel wheezes, forcing the words out from underneath the weight on his chest. “I like when you hurt me, Father.”

“Greedy, aren’t you?” the priest purrs, half-aroused and half-contemptuous.

“Yes.” Daniel hisses, his fingers clawing into the carpet as his body curves to accommodate—to seek out—the press of Father Armand’s heavy boot. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, that he wants this after everything that’s happened today (the past week, some distant part of his mind whispers), but he does. Maybe he simply craves the release of oblivion after teetering over the edge of it. “Yes, Father.”

“I could make you feel good, too. If I felt like it.” He lifts his foot a fraction of an inch, enough to make Daniel’s lungs expand gratefully where they’ve been compressed. Then, slowly, he drags the toe of his boot down, down, down to where the boy is hard and aching in his jeans. He runs his instep along the shameful bulge that presses against Daniel’s zipper, pressing just lightly enough to tease. To threaten. “Do you want me to make you feel good?”

Daniel moans, a needful, pathetic little sound that makes Father Armand snarl. “I do, Father.”

“Do you think you deserve that, Daniel?” His boot pushes down a bit harder, and Daniel writhes into it, gasps at the delicious torment of the priest’s brutality.

“No, Father.”

“Beg for it, then.” Even though Daniel’s eyes are screwed shut, he can feel the burning weight of the other man’s stare boring into him. His boot steps harder still. “Beg for me. Tell me what you want me to do to you.”

Daniel wants to reply, knows that he needs to reply, but he can’t; his mouth is too occupied with crying out, held captive as he is in a state of delirium.

“Pathetic,” Father Armand spits at him. “Must I speak for you now, too?”

He can do nothing more than nod, than accept the fate he has been dealt at the hands of this cruel master.

“You want me to fuck you.” It isn’t a question; rather, the priest speaks flatly, clinically, down at the boy he has pinned. “You want me to bury my tongue in your ass until your voice gives out from screaming and then fill you to the point of breaking, is that right?”

The words are torn directly from Daniel’s thoughts as though Father Armand heard them uttered aloud. As though he can read the twisted desires playing on repeat in Daniel’s mind as plainly as thumbing through a children’s picture book. The noise Daniel makes isn’t so much language as one of desperation distilled.

The boot lifts off of his chest, suddenly. “Stand.”

Daniel does, albeit slowly and on shaky legs that threaten to buckle from underneath him.

Father Armand smiles. “Good boy.” He gestures with his chin in the direction of the table, still covered in untouched donuts and cold coffee. “Bend over. And drop your pants.”

Sweating and trembling, Daniel feels more of a mess now than he did the day he awoke from his bender. Like the screws holding him together have been loosened and he is the lightest touch away from falling to pieces. Nevertheless, he complies, bracing himself on his elbows as he awaits further instruction.

“You’ve been insolent,” Father Armand comments as he slowly comes to stand behind Daniel. He runs the fingertips of one gloved hand over the swell of the boy’s ass. “Don’t you think you deserve to be disciplined for that?”

And Daniel is still beyond the point of language, so all he can manage is a thin, reedy little moan. Internally, he is only capable of thinking the word please on a recursive loop.

There’s a rush of air, then, followed by the sharp sting of Father Armand’s leather-covered palm striking one cheek. Daniel sucks in a harsh breath, an involuntary inhalation somewhere between a hiccup and a gasp. He gets almost no break before he is being hit again, then again, over and over until he can feel the blood rising to the skin from the burst capillaries. Almost as if from another room, he can hear himself crying out. Although the soles of his feet are rooted to the church carpet, he feels as though his consciousness has abandoned his body to wander elsewhere. The pain is practically transcendent in its savage persistence, the only thing anchoring him to this material plane the rhythmic pulse of the blood rushing to his cock.

Father Armand is relentless, and Daniel wonders whether he is going to be punished past the point where he can no longer withstand it. Until suddenly, the abuse stops, and the priest instead permits his cool fingers to trace over the damaged skin. His touch is surprisingly gentle, laced with a fragile sort of reverence; Daniel can hear the rustling of fabric as the priest crouches down, as if seeking out a better angle from which to admire his own handiwork.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, spreading Daniel’s ass open, the word ghosting feather-light over the sensitive flesh. Daniel whines, restless with the effort of keeping himself still against the overwhelming urge to arch into the contact. “What a beautiful little thing you are.”

The praise wrenches a strangled cry from Daniel’s throat, wanton and depraved. He wishes he still possessed the ability to speak, wishes he could beg for Father Armand to please, please fuck him now. Beg the priest to make him full, to try and satisfy the yearning cavern inside of him.

He’d do anything to not be so fucking hungry.

The priest laughs as though he knows precisely what Daniel is thinking and then, with no warning, he is blowing a teasing breath over Daniel’s hole.

The boy nearly screams, his mind still running on the frantic hamster wheel of please, please, please, please, please—

Father Armand interrupts that train of thought by dragging the flat of his tongue over the skin that his breath just kissed, carefully unraveling what little remains of Daniel’s sentience until all that is left in its place is a moaning, bestial creature. A thing composed entirely of impulse, the only thing he understands at this point being what it means to want.

Instinctively, Daniel tries to grind back into the sensation, but the priest does not allow it, his leather-clad hold on Daniel wrought in immovable iron. At the denial, Daniel merely whimpers, no longer able to beg with anything other than his body and sincerely running the risk of going mad with need.

Patience, Daniel, he hears Father Armand admonish, as if from a stereo system inside of his head while the priest licks over him once more. He doesn’t even question it, really, content to assume that the universe is fracturing around him and that reality itself is simply splintering. It certainly feels that way, with how Father Armand’s tongue writes filthy love poems into his skin, with how he fucks into Daniel just enough to torture.

It is not unlike he is drowning, stranded in the middle of a vast ocean and being pulled under by the grasping appendages of the monsters below. He is overcome with a pleasure too fathomless to name, one that threatens to steal the air from his lungs and fill them with something more volatile and fluid. It’s exquisite. He needs it to stop. He never wants it to stop.

Again, Daniel hears the priest’s voice inside of his mind. So very needy, aren’t you? Filled to the brim with unrealized desire, aching for anything that might scratch the persistent itch deep within you.

The words seem to strip him bare, to peel back his skin and the viscera that holds him together until all of his nerves are exposed to Father Armand’s touch. At this point, he is cognizant only of the places where the two of them connect, the world zeroed in like a pinhole on the press of the priest’s tongue against his ass. He has no self outside of this point of contact, he thinks, and he doesn’t care at all. Can’t imagine caring about anything else ever again.

He keens, his hips attempting to roll back once more. This time, Father Armand lets him, allows Daniel to ride his tongue in the way he so desperately craves, and he gasps with the relief of it, his face buried in the crook of his arm as he thrusts backwards to where the priest’s mouth is waiting for him.

Then, one of Father Armand’s hands snakes around to grip Daniel in his fist, and it only takes a few strokes before the feeling of it swells into a feverish crescendo, before Daniel is twitching and spilling messily over the priest’s fingers.

Good boy, Father Armand says, tongue still deep in Daniel’s ass as he works him through the spasming aftershocks. Now, I need you to do something for me.

Daniel slumps onto the table, barely able to hold himself up, and nods limply. Anything. He’d do anything.

Stay still, Daniel.

Father Armand’s mouth moves to lavish a hot, wet kiss to where Daniel’s pulse pounds in his thigh, his teeth scraping delicately over the skin there. Then, there is the sensation of ice piercing his arteries, of numb and cold and bad and wrong.

The world begins to grow dim around the edges. The last thing Daniel remembers thinking before it all goes dark is, Please don’t kill me.

***

When Daniel awakens in his apartment the next morning, he has a bruise on his butt the size of an apple, a killer headache, and a voicemail on his answering machine:

Hey Daniel, this is Sandra. I was wondering why you missed your first N.A. meeting last night; Father Reynolds said you didn’t show. If you need help getting to them, let me know and I’ll help you work something out. Either way, try not to let it happen again, okay?

As he listens to his P.O.—who is apparently not named Sarah—speak, a lot of conflicting thoughts occur to him at once. Most of them are confused, disoriented, wondering what the fuck happened last night and who the fuck Father Armand really was.

But perhaps the loudest of all of them is the realization that that part of him that is so constantly reaching, so constantly starving, is finally contented.

For the first time he can remember, he is satisfied.

[seitmai]

I absolutely loved this and have many thoughts undert the cut

“You’re really sure it’s okay for me to be here? They’re your friends and I’m just… some dude.” “Yeah, some dude who’s sucked the same dick I have and is a giant sweetheart.” You rolled your eyes and dragged him after you onto the elevator, leaning against his chest and winding your fingers through his affectionately. “Plus, we’re officially besties after that skinny dipping incident.”

That's some real bonding🤭😅

“And you’re so jealous, poor baby.” Ari bit Ransom’s ear gently before sliding his hand even higher, squeezing Ransom’s thigh and purring when the man whined and leaned into his touch. “I'm so sorry, pretty boy, you deserve all the attention, you’re getting married after all. Gonna have such a pretty wife to spoil you and treat you nice like you deserve.” “Fuck, you know how worked up I get when anyone calls her my wife, you teasing bastard.” Ransom downed the rest of his drink and growled before turning to face Ari, practically crawling into the man’s lap when he finally slid his hand up to cup his bulge as he smashed their lips together. “I’m going to marry her, god she’s so fucking perfect.”

They both exactly know how to get each other worked up 🤭

“Don’t give me that look, I don’t wanna lose my membership to this place just because we’re both sluts. We’re gonna finish in the car.” “‘M not… shit.” Ransom tossed his head back and gasped when Ari pressed into him harder, whimpering when he felt his beard scratching against his throat as he licked that spot that drove him crazy and he rolled his hips up to meet him. “Yeah, okay. Just don’t stop.”

No chance in pretending with Ari 🤭

“She said she wanted regular updates, and I think the first orgasm of the night is something she’d want to know about.” Ari shoved his phone back in his pocket and gripped Ransom’s chin, forcing his gaze back to him and giving him a sly smile as he rubbed their noses together. “Now quit being a brat and kiss me.”

Good reason for an update, I approve

“God, you’re all so fucking dramatic, calm down!” You had to start chucking ice at all of them when they started pulling up their phones to send threats to your fiancé, still staring daggers at Jake, even though there was no way you could stay mad at him, he was just trying to protect you. “Ransom is not cheating on me. It’s Ari!”

Haha the girls are ready to castrate Ransom 😅

“No, I mean… thanks for this blondie.” Jake at least looked slightly embarrassed. “We’re kinda, sorta, but not totally, in a poly thing with the sex god.” That shut all of them up, Jake’s eyes bugging out of his head as he stared at you while the rest of your friends just gave you blank looks that made you a little nervous. You had never planned on making this part of your relationship public, but here you were.

I mean who wouldn't want to be in a poly thing with a sex god? I certainly would 😌🤷🏻‍♀️

“You boys need to calm down.” Ari rolled his eyes when they gave him nasty looks, sighing when he tried to put an arm around Ransom to comfort him and the man practically cowered. “I’m not gonna put up with any of your homophobic bull shit towards him, so lock it up.” “What? Homophobic?” Dylan had the sense to at least look slightly embarrassed. “Who give a fuck about that, he’s cheating on his fiancée?” “Yeah, news flash, we all know you’re bi, Drysdale.” Chaz shot a glare at Logan when he looked like he was thinking of making a joke. “No one cares.” “You know?” Ransom hated how small his voice sounded, letting Ari put an arm around him this time and blowing out a shuddering breath when he leaned into the man without thought.

I love that the boys were also ready to beat up Ransom lol

And the discussion about his sexuality just warmed my heart, it was so nonchalant and they worried so much more about Ransom than anything else (as they should)

“Oh, and what would you call it?” Dylan took Ari’s phone and scowled as he looked at the screen, his expression melting into one of confusion as he read all the texts you sent about how pretty Ransom looked when he was choking on Ari’s dick and how much you loved both of them. “Huh.” “What?” Chaz took the phone when Dylan handed it to him, blowing out a deep breath that had Ransom burning his face in his hands as he groaned and leaned into Ari even more. “Alright then. Are you… happy?”

Oh he was not ready to air it all out like that 🤭

“Look, Drysdale, I’m just happy that even though you’re getting married you’re still kind of a man whore. So why don’t we all get over this little misunderstanding and hit that gay strip club down the block. Apparently, they have a special on body shots with their dancers. I bet they’ll love you two.”

This is the best reaction haha just worried about is man whire status 😂

“This is so not on me, you could’ve been up front about your little throuple situation.” Your maid of honor just laughed when you snarled at her. “Yeah yeah, you don’t want to define it, whatever. I’ll buy you a lap dance.”

She is the maid of honor for a reason I see 😅

“Jake, I can’t stay mad at you, so please stop apologizing.” You wound your arm through his and leaned your head on his shoulder, smiling when he pressed his cheek against your forehead and let out a deep breath as he handed you your phone. “You’re my bestie blondie, people would’ve found out anyway, though I will admit it would have been nice if it hadn’t been a surprise. Now, go find me all the pretty twunk strippers, okay?”

Poor Jakey is gonna blame himself for this for a while

The sheer amount of alcohol Ransom managed to consume at the marathon of strip clubs had helped him calm down, and being able to just be open now about who he was and what he wanted. Plus, Ari. Ari was always there and the feeling of his hands on Ransom’s body and the occasional brush of his lips against his cheek had pulled any residual stress right out of him, and also gotten him stupidly turned on. The man was a menace.

Sounds like a great night

“That right, pup?” Your voice was low and mixed perfectly with Ari’s deep growl at being called sir, making Ransom’s eyes roll back in his head and his tongue feel like it was too thick for his mouth all of a sudden. “Want him to feed your hungry little pussy?” “Oh, please.” Ransom could hardly breathe when Ari’s whole body pressed against his, feeling the heavy weight of his dick grinding against his hip as he clutched desperately at his waist. “Need it.”

😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Ari grinned down at Ransom as he kept sucking on his fingers, cooing when he yelped at Ari grabbing his cock through his panties. The harsh contact was all he needed to come with a sharp cry, his whole body spasming wildly as he came so hard it almost hit him in the face. He kept shivering when Ari curled over him and sank his teeth into his jaw, tears leaking down his cheeks as warmth spread from his core while Ari pumped his cum into him.

🥵🥵🥵

Ransom managed to arch his back all pretty while Ari took his picture and sent it to you, all happy and fuzzy as he floated in the warmth of post-orgasmic bliss. He was vaguely aware of Ari relaying that you said you wanted to lick your pretty puppy clean before he let his eyes fall closed. Damn, he felt so fucking good. The only thing that could have made it better was if you were actually there with them. Maybe he could convince you to convince Ari to come on the honeymoon so he could get it from both ends.

That would definitely be an interesting and intense honeymoon 😌🤭

Always Living in the Final Hour

Summary: Bachelor and bachelorette weekend shenanigans with the (almost) quadrouple.

Words: ~5.5k

Relationship(s): Ransom Drysdale x Ari Levinson, Ransom Drysdale x Ari Levinson x female!reader, Jake Jensen x female!reader (platonic - for now), little peeks at the quadrouple to come y’all.

Warning: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected anal sex, m receiving oral sex, rimming, feminization), established relationships, secrets revealed, mentions of homophobia, misunderstandings, they’re all cute and dumb and in love, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: I love them so much 😭

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on my fics follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

You grinned when you heard the knock at your hotel room door, finishing putting your earrings in and adjusting your tits in your dress before pulling the door open and beaming at Jake.

“Hey… wow, look at you!” He gave you his own smile when he got a look at you, spinning you around then pulling you into a warm embrace once he’d taken you in. “You look amazing, you’re a fucking bombshell.”

“Shut up, you’re so fucking cute.” You giggled when he kissed you on the cheek, playing with the edge of his shirt and kissing him back before dragging him out the door. “Is everyone ready to go!”

“Yep, just waiting on your fine ass.” Jake laughed and smacked your ass playfully as you made your way to the elevator, giving you a mocking pout when you turned around and slapped his chest in retaliation before chewing on his lip with a bit of residual anxiety. “You’re really sure it’s okay for me to be here? They’re your friends and I’m just… some dude.”

“Yeah, some dude who’s sucked the same dick I have and is a giant sweetheart.” You rolled your eyes and dragged him after you onto the elevator, leaning against his chest and winding your fingers through his affectionately. “Plus, we’re officially besties after that skinny dipping incident.”

“Skinny dipping? I told you, I thought I walked through a spider web!” He tickled you and laughed when you pinched his cheek. “Felt like I had the creepy crawlies all over me. No one made you take your clothes off, weirdo.”

“That’s true, but I love being naked, and don’t act like you didn’t enjoy it!” You let him give you a tight hug and lift you off your feet once the doors opened to the lobby, waving at your group and laughing when they cheered as they spotted you. “So since we’ve seen all of each other, and spilled our guts over wine, and we’re best friends, you have to be at my bachelorette party, no arguments, blondie. Alright bitches! We doing any bars or going straight to the strip clubs?”

“Oh shit, is this what you use to fuel your jet, Levinson?” Ransom coughed after downing the shot Ari had handed him, frowning when the larger man just chuckled around his cigar and reached over to squeeze his thigh. “Is it even safe for me to smoke after drinking that?”

“It’s fine, don’t be a baby.” Ari grinned even wider when Ransom smacked his hand away, waving down the waitress to bring another bourbon for the groom. “Stick to your boring brown liquor, Drysdale. And just one more cigar, think your boys are getting antsy.”

“What? Oh my god.” Ransom rolled his eyes when he he looked towards where the frat boys were gathered, waving dismissively when Logan gestured meaningfully at his watch. “Yeah, go! We’ll meet you there. Ridiculous.”

“Mmhm, well, I think they were planning on there being a lot more strippers by this point.” Ari watched them leave before taking the new drinks from the waitress, giving her a large bill and winking at her when she smiled at him before shrugging when Ransom gave him a look. “What?”

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Ransom almost inhaled his scotch when Ari cooed sympathetically and scooted closer to him, letting out a delighted laugh when he placed his hand very high up on his thigh and leaned close to nuzzle at his jaw. “Ari! You’re such a whore!”

“And you’re so jealous, poor baby.” Ari bit Ransom’s ear gently before sliding his hand even higher, squeezing Ransom’s thigh and purring when the man whined and leaned into his touch. “I'm so sorry, pretty boy, you deserve all the attention, you’re getting married after all. Gonna have such a pretty wife to spoil you and treat you nice like you deserve.”

“Fuck, you know how worked up I get when anyone calls her my wife, you teasing bastard.” Ransom downed the rest of his drink and growled before turning to face Ari, practically crawling into the man’s lap when he finally slid his hand up to cup his bulge as he smashed their lips together. “I’m going to marry her, god she’s so fucking perfect.”

“You’re both perfect, shit.” Ari groaned when Ransom rocked his hips and sucked on Ari’s bottom lip, standing quickly and pulling the younger man with him before he had a chance to protest. “Don’t give me that look, I don’t wanna lose my membership to this place just because we’re both sluts. We’re gonna finish in the car.”

“Yeah, that’ll work.” Ransom whined when Ari pressed him against the side of the car and kissed him hungrily, letting him throw him into the backseat once he got the door open and yanking him on top of his body when they started to drive away. “We don’t even have time to do anything.”

“Nonsense, we have plenty of time.” Ari pulled Ransom’s knees around his hips and molded their lips together, humming when he felt his hard cock pressed against his own and ground into him. “We’re both nice and worked up, pretty sure I can get one out of you, you’re easy.”

“‘M not… shit.” Ransom tossed his head back and gasped when Ari pressed into him harder, whimpering when he felt his beard scratching against his throat as he licked that spot that drove him crazy and he rolled his hips up to meet him. “Yeah, okay. Just don’t stop.”

“Mmm, never sweet boy.” Ari sucked on the hinge of Ransom’s jaw and moaned when he felt the other man’s cock twitching through his slacks, increasing the speed of his hips and squeezing Ran’s waist when the man ran his fingers through his hair. “Give it to me, honey, just want you to enjoy your party.”

Ransom sobbed when Ari curled his hand around his neck and squeezed lightly, his body arching off the back seat as he yanked on the older man’s hair while his cock throbbed and pulsed while he came all over the inside of the pretty red panties you’d insisted he wear. He felt Ari’s cock twitching as well and grinned when the other man purred against his neck and licked his throat, at least until he heard the click of a camera shutter and slapped Ari’s shoulders while he laughed softly.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ransom pouted and turned his face away when Ari tried to kiss him again, leaving the man to press his lips to his cheek and huffing when he saw him texting someone. “You sending that to her?”

“She said she wanted regular updates, and I think the first orgasm of the night is something she’d want to know about.” Ari shoved his phone back in his pocket and gripped Ransom’s chin, forcing his gaze back to him and giving him a sly smile as he rubbed their noses together. “Now quit being a brat and kiss me.”

Ransom couldn’t help but giggle when Ari suckled on his bottom lip before sliding his tongue into his mouth, winding his arms around his neck and sighing softly as he melted into the kiss. He had never been happier about his choice for best man, a weekend of sex with Ari interspersed with drinking and smoking and luxury clubs really was the perfect way to celebrate his pending nuptials. There wasn’t a thing he could think of that would ruin his good time, except maybe…

“What took you so…” both of them froze when the door opened and they were suddenly face to face with Logan, Ransom trying to decide between shoving Ari off and denying everything or just burying his face in the bear’s neck to hide. “What in the actual fuck, Drysdale?!”

You screeched happily when Jake whispered a filthy joke in your ear after you pointed out the gorgeous man across the dance floor who had been eyeing him, slapping his chest and biting his ear when he picked you up and spun you around. Once the song was over your whole group made its way back to your booth to do even more shots before heading to the strip club, the rest of the women just rolling their eyes and teasing you every time you and Jake got a little affectionate, mostly because whenever they did he turned absolutely pink and tried to splutter out an explanation, which was completely adorable. They were all totally in love with him, especially after he almost punched some asshole who didn’t want to take the hint that none of you were interested in doing body shots with him when he called you a bunch of drunk cunts. Of course, what actually ended up happening was you all dog piled the douche bag and managed to get in a few good licks before Jake finally pulled all of you off and herded you out of the bar while you screamed obscenities back at the chauvinist that made Jake crack up as soon as he was sure you were all okay, but after that every single one of you was officially in love with him.

“No, I can’t have tequila!” He was all pink again when you rested your head on his shoulder and gave him a messy grin as you held the shot in front of his face. “I really can’t, or I might actually go over there and ask that guy to smack me in the face with his dick.”

“You should, he’s hot!” You squealed and clapped happily when he took the shot from you with a cute little grumble and slammed it down. “C’mon, let’s go hook you up.”

“No, bombshell, no!” He laughed when you pouted at him when he refused to budge, pulling you close and tweaking your nose as he pulled you with the group towards the exit even as he started to feel warm and loose from the tequila. “This is your night, I’m not going to abandon you just to hook up with some, admittedly beautiful, random guy.”

“You’re so sweet, blondie.” You settled in his lap after you all climbed into the limo, letting out a drunk hiccup and walking your fingers across his broad chest with a hum. “I’m gonna find you a boyfriend, though. Gimme my phone, wanna see if my puppy is having a good time.”

Jake rested his cheek on the top of your head and chuckled while you played with his shirt absentmindedly, ignoring the chatter from the rest of the group as he reached into your purse and grabbed your phone. He didn’t mean to look at the screen, he really didn’t, but the picture came up and he couldn’t help it, his face blanching immediately as he slapped the phone down against the seat and tried to avoid looking at you.

“Jakey? What’s up?” You frowned when he just shook his head at you and pressed his mouth in a thin line. “Is something wrong? Give me my phone.”

“I ca… I can’t.” He was struggling to come up with a good reason he couldn’t give it to you, the tequila was getting to him. “It must have fallen out of your purse at the club.”

“What? Jake, I saw you pull it out of my purse.” Now you were annoyed, why was he being so sneaky all of a sudden? “Lemme see.”

“I can’t… shit!” He cursed himself when you managed to move faster than he thought you could and snatched the phone out of his grip, trying to wrestle it away from you and failing when you somehow pinned him to the seat and sat on his chest. “Baby, it’s nothing, don’t look at it!”

“What the fuck are you on about?” You ignored his continued protests as you unlocked your screen and pulled up your texts. “There’s nothing here. Why are you so worried?”

“Nothing? Ran is cheating on you!” He clapped his hand over his mouth as soon as he said it, shaking his head when you gave him a very aggressive glare and all the other conversations on the limo stopped and suddenly your friends were all screaming about how they were going to kick that pretty boy’s ass.

“God, you’re all so fucking dramatic, calm down!” You had to start chucking ice at all of them when they started pulling up their phones to send threats to your fiancé, still staring daggers at Jake, even though there was no way you could stay mad at him, he was just trying to protect you. “Ransom is not cheating on me. It’s Ari!”

“Who cares who it is, I’m going to cut that man’s balls off!” Taylor dodged the plastic cup you threw at her as she kept cursing.

“No, I mean… thanks for this blondie.” Jake at least looked slightly embarrassed. “We’re kinda, sorta, but not totally, in a poly thing with the sex god.”

That shut all of them up, Jake’s eyes bugging out of his head as he stared at you while the rest of your friends just gave you blank looks that made you a little nervous. You had never planned on making this part of your relationship public, but here you were. You hoped Ran’s night was going better.

“It’s not a big deal!” Ransom felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest as he avoided the stares of his friends, all of whom looked very upset with him. “Nothing happened!”

“Oh, right!” He wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole, or that he could just go back to the hotel with Ari and spend the rest of the weekend letting him fuck every thought out of his head, instead of being stuck with all his friends scolding him in some strip club for hooking up with a guy. “That’s why you were both sporting pants tents and trying to suck each other’s faces off.”

“You boys need to calm down.” Ari rolled his eyes when they gave him nasty looks, sighing when he tried to put an arm around Ransom to comfort him and the man practically cowered. “I’m not gonna put up with any of your homophobic bull shit towards him, so lock it up.”

“What? Homophobic?” Dylan had the sense to at least look slightly embarrassed. “Who give a fuck about that, he’s cheating on his fiancée?”

“Yeah, news flash, we all know you’re bi, Drysdale.” Chaz shot a glare at Logan when he looked like he was thinking of making a joke. “No one cares.”

“You know?” Ransom hated how small his voice sounded, letting Ari put an arm around him this time and blowing out a shuddering breath when he leaned into the man without thought. “How?”

“Sloane told us, was trying to get all of us to dump you so she could make you totally dependent on her, like we’d leave you alone with that bitch. We’ve been waiting for you to come out for years.” Dylan shoved Logan when he started to open his mouth again. “But how could you do this to your girl, Ran, you’re fucking lost for her? You realize that all of our girls will kill us if they find out you cheated on her?”

“Alright, let’s all just relax.” Ari decided to take over since Ransom looked like he’d just been hit by a brick wall, pulling his phone up and scrolling up through the group chat. “No one is cheating.”

“Oh, and what would you call it?” Dylan took Ari’s phone and scowled as he looked at the screen, his expression melting into one of confusion as he read all the texts you sent about how pretty Ransom looked when he was choking on Ari’s dick and how much you loved both of them. “Huh.”

“What?” Chaz took the phone when Dylan handed it to him, blowing out a deep breath that had Ransom burning his face in his hands as he groaned and leaned into Ari even more. “Alright then. Are you… happy?”

Ransom just nodded, his growl drowned out by Ari’s when they heard Logan choke on a laugh once he got a look at the texts, Ari snatching the phone out of his hand when he started to scroll through the messages like a damn snoop. Everyone looked massively uncomfortable as all of them just stared at each other, Ransom chewing on his lips until Ari gripped his chin and tugged his mouth open with his thumb.

“Jesus Christ, everyone is so fucking uptight.” Logan rolled his eyes after a few minutes of awkward silence, leaning forward and clapping Ransom on the shoulder then snorting when the man jumped. “Look, Drysdale, I’m just happy that even though you’re getting married you’re still kind of a man whore. So why don’t we all get over this little misunderstanding and hit that gay strip club down the block. Apparently, they have a special on body shots with their dancers. I bet they’ll love you two.”

“So all three of you sleep together?” You rolled your eyes when you nodded in answer to the question for what felt like the tenth time, glad that no one was talking about castrating your future husband at least. “Is… are you guys marrying Ari too?”

“No! Oh my god.” You groaned and gave Jake a look when he kept rubbing your shoulders, he felt absurdly guilty about blabbing and you’d had to spend a good five minutes listening to him apologize. “Ransom and I are in love, and we love Ari, but as our absolute best friend who we also sleep with… a lot. Can we just go enjoy the strippers, please? And thanks so much for helping me explain things, Anne.”

“This is so not on me, you could’ve been up front about your little throuple situation.” Your maid of honor just laughed when you snarled at her. “Yeah yeah, you don’t want to define it, whatever. I’ll buy you a lap dance.”

“Fine, you’re all buying me lap dances!” They finally seemed to be able to move past their initial shock, letting out some light cheers when you stopped in front of the club and all started to climb out until they were eventually giggling when they thought about doing more shots. “I wanna be covered in body glitter and smell like Viva La Juicy by the time we leave. Can I have my phone now, blondie? Want to actually check on the boy toy.”

“Yeah.” Poor Jake had been beet red for the past five minutes, only getting even redder when you kissed his cheek and gave his shoulder a squeeze when he handed your phone back to you. “I’m really sorry, again.”

“Jake, I can’t stay mad at you, so please stop apologizing.” You wound your arm through his and leaned your head on his shoulder, smiling when he pressed his cheek against your forehead and let out a deep breath as he handed you your phone. “You’re my bestie blondie, people would’ve found out anyway, though I will admit it would have been nice if it hadn’t been a surprise. Now, go find me all the pretty twunk strippers, okay?”

He gave you a shy smile before walking away to find you a dancer, still blushing all cute and being his adorable self in a way that was sure to endear him to everyone. You just shook your head fondly as you pulled up your texts, chuckling to yourself and leaning against the bar while you texted Ransom that he did not have to worry about your bridal party castrating him, and that he should enjoy getting turned inside out by his boyfriend and you loved him more than anything.

The sheer amount of alcohol Ransom managed to consume at the marathon of strip clubs had helped him calm down, and being able to just be open now about who he was and what he wanted. Plus, Ari. Ari was always there and the feeling of his hands on Ransom’s body and the occasional brush of his lips against his cheek had pulled any residual stress right out of him, and also gotten him stupidly turned on. The man was a menace. Which was why the two of them had stayed in the bar of Ari’s hotel after the rest of the frat boys went back to their rooms, Ransom leaning on Ari’s shoulder and playing with his hair while he begged him to do all sorts of nasty things to him.

“Baby, you’re so worked up, goddamn.” Ari gave him a sly grin when Ransom whined in his ear, unable to fight the urge he always had to be a giant tease. “Not even sure you could really handle me doing everything you want right now, might make you black out before we have any real fun.”

“Please? Just wanna feel your mouth on my pussy.” Ransom was feeling so warm and buzzed after all the champagne and whiskey he’d consumed through the whole night, nuzzling into Ari’s neck and giggling when he almost spat out his scotch.

“Your what?!” The man hissed low enough that Ransom could barely hear him over the noise of the hotel bar, moaning when the older man gripped the back of his neck and forced his gaze to his as he chewed on his lip. “Your girl know you talk like this, boy?”

Ransom’s knees almost buckled at the low growl of ‘boy’ against his lips, grabbing the front of Ari’s shirt to keep himself upright and whining as his cock throbbed in his soft silk panties.

“You mean Daddy?” Ransom purred when Ari’s pupils somehow blew even wider, only a thin ring of ice around deep black pools he could lose himself in while the bearded man grabbed his ass and pulled him closer. “Daddy loves when I talk about my little pussy. She tells me how pretty it is and how sweet it tastes when it’s all wet and crying for cock. Don’t you wanna taste, sir?”

“Christ, come on.” Ari dragged Ransom after him towards the elevator with a yelp as he basically manhandled the younger man, shoving him inside when the doors opened and pressed the front of his body against his as Ransom panted desperately. “Gimme your phone, gonna check in with your… fuck… your daddy and make sure we’re not stepping over some kind of line.”

Ransom stamped his foot and pouted when Ari started dialing your number, trying to kiss him and whining when the larger man shoved him off and forced him to be still with a hand on his throat.

“Gorgeous?” Ari ignored the way Ransom was trying to grind his hips into him as he leaned him against the wall while the lift headed to the penthouse, frowning at the man while he waited for you to head somewhere quiet. “Your boy’s been drinking a little bit and running that mouth of his. Wanted to check in. Yeah? One second.”

“Puppy?” Ransom purred when Ari put his phone on speaker and the sound of your voice washed over him, making him feel all warm and syrupy as Ari just gave him a curious look. “Baby, you feeling all sweet?”

“Yeah Daddy.” Ransom sighed as he sank into the wall, already feeling his cock starting to leak as he thought about how worked up you probably were after whatever you’d been doing tonight. “Miss you, just wanted sir to give me his fat cock to tide me over a little.”

“That right, pup?” Your voice was low and mixed perfectly with Ari’s deep growl at being called sir, making Ransom’s eyes roll back in his head and his tongue feel like it was too thick for his mouth all of a sudden. “Want him to feed your hungry little pussy?”

“Oh, please.” Ransom could hardly breathe when Ari’s whole body pressed against his, feeling the heavy weight of his dick grinding against his hip as he clutched desperately at his waist. “Need it.”

“You’re lucky Daddy doesn’t mind sharing that pretty little cunt, sweet boy. And that I love spoiling my puppy.” You could tell Ransom was gone from the desperate mewl you heard over the phone, grinning to yourself as you started addressing your ex who sounded like he was heading towards his own kind of lost with the heady growl he let out. “Ari?”

“Yeah?” Ari hummed as he ran his nose over Ransom’s, cupping the man’s jaw softly as they exchanged breath while he dipped his tongue between his parted lips.

“Wreck him.” You chuckled when you heard a feral snarl before the sounds of messy kissing traveled over the phone, squirming a little when you pictured the scene that must be unfolding as Ari prepared to devour your sweet boy. “And make sure you take video!”

“Mmhm.” Ari’s grumbled reply was all he could get out before he was hanging up the phone and burying a hand in Ransom’s hair, sliding the other down his body until he could grab his ass and jiggle it before giving it a good smack.

Ransom was a mewling, keening mess by the time the elevator doors opened to the penthouse, panting desperately and flushed and having difficulty keeping his feet when Ari started shoving him back towards the bedroom. The man had been right, he felt like he was going to explode just from the rough kisses and greedy touches, he was probably going to go into a coma once they got to the good stuff.

“You want me to eat that pretty little pussy, boy?” Ransom yelped when Ari threw him onto the bed after stripping him out of his clothes in a rush while he pulled out his phone to start filming, growling at the sight of the younger man in nothing but his feminine little wine red thong. “Show it to me.”

Ransom whimpered as he turned slowly onto his stomach while Ari watched, making a show of arching his back while he drew his knees up to his chest until he was basically presenting for the older man. He bit his lip and peeked over his shoulder when he heard Ari let out an appreciative groan at the sight of him sliding the thin strip of fabric to the side while he spread his cheeks, giggling when he strode forward and grabbed his hip harshly with his free hand.

“Christ, look at that.” Ari purred when Ransom moaned at the feel of him spitting right on his twitching skin, his pretty hole winking for the camera while he keened when Ari slapped his ass hard. “No wonder your Daddy’s so happy all the damn time, you fucking spoil her with this shit, don���t you?” Ari let out a grunt when Ransom’s only response was a thin mewl, setting the camera on the end table so it had a good view of that sweet ass as he kneeled behind Ransom. “Let’s give her a good show, yeah?”

He didn’t have any chance to prepare before Ari was burying his face between his cheeks, the older man growling against his skin as he dragged his tongue all over his fluttering hole before sucking on it lewdly. The scrape of his teeth over his soft skin had Ransom’s eyes falling closed, his back arching more as he ground his ass back against Ari’s face and let out soft needy sounds.

Ari loved how fucking desperate Ran got when he was drunk, could truly understand why you called him puppy when he was whining and wiggling and begging him to keep going. Ransom stretched his arms above his head and keened when Ari leaned back and spat on him again, rubbing his cheek against the comforter when he nipped at his clenching hole before pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses all over his ass.

When he ducked lower to suck on his balls, Ransom knew he was going to explode, his breath coming in shallow pants as his cock twitched where it was pinned against his abs by the band of his panties. Then he shoved a finger from each hand inside him and yanked him open so he could spit inside him and Ransom could feel tears leaking down his cheeks, his precum running down his abs like a faucet when Ari pushed his tongue inside him and started fucking him with it.

Ransom whined obscenely when he finally came, his toes curling as Ari’s tongue kept punching into his fluttering hole while the older man groaned appreciatively. He could feel his cum soaking the front of his panties and abs as his cock twitched slowly, another shiver traveling up his spine when the older man gave his balls a harsh squeeze before he rose up on his knees.

“That’s it honey, such a good fucking boy.” Ari grabbed a cheek in each hand and spread Ransom wide, purring at the sight of his pretty hole twitching and winking at him while he just panted into the mattress. “Look at that pretty little pussy, so fucking wet and needy, making a mess all over this bed. Think I should make you squirt, boy?”

“Oh god, please.” Ransom’s eyes rolled back in head when he felt Ari’s thick cock slap against the curve of his ass, keening when he hooked his thumb into his ass and pulled. “Fuck me, sir, fill my tight little pussy up til it’s leaking. Wanna feel you for the rest of the weekend.”

“Yeah, you want it bad?” Ari grabbed Ransom by his throat and yanked him up until his chest was pressed to his back, biting his ear harshly until the younger man started grinding desperately against him. “Want me to fuck this sweet little cunt raw until she’s gaping and ruined? Let’s hope we don’t piss your daddy off, she’d kick both our asses.”

That was all the warning Ransom had before Ari shoved his hips forward and impaled him on his cock, all the breath getting pushed out of his lungs as every muscle in his core spasmed at the sudden intrusion. Ari shoved his fingers in his mouth and groaned in his ear while he started driving into him, nuzzling at his cheek as he set a vicious pace and his other hand dug into his waist.

It was taking all his focus not to black out, he felt like he was getting ripped in half in the best way. Every thrust had Ari’s dick dragging over his swollen prostate, Ransom letting out small yelps each time his hips slapped against his ass while he drooled all over his chin and his eyes rolled back in his head.

Ransom squealed when Ari pulled out of him in a rush and flipped him over, grabbing his knees and holding himself open as the larger man lined himself up again. He groaned when Ari slammed back into him, arching his back to meet each punch of his hips and whining when his cock started leaking all over his abs.

“God, you’re already a fucking mess, honey.” Ari leaned over him and cupped his cheek gently, a sharp contrast to the way his hips were definitely going to be leaving bruises on his ass. “You gonna make an even bigger one? Gonna squirt all over yourself while I fill this pretty little pussy?”

“Yes sir.” Ransom gasped when Ari ground into his ass, humming when he shoved his fingers into his open mouth and swirling his tongue around them. “Please, fill my pussy.”

Ari grinned down at Ransom as he kept sucking on his fingers, cooing when he yelped at Ari grabbing his cock through his panties. The harsh contact was all he needed to come with a sharp cry, his whole body spasming wildly as he came so hard it almost hit him in the face. He kept shivering when Ari curled over him and sank his teeth into his jaw, tears leaking down his cheeks as warmth spread from his core while Ari pumped his cum into him.

“Mmm, such a messy boy.” Ari gave him a soft kiss before straightening up, biting his lip and purring when he got a look at his cum dribbling out of Ransom’s swollen and abused hole. Ransom just hummed as he sank further into the mattress, running his hands lazily over his cum covered torso while Ari grabbed the phone. “C’mon honey, show your Daddy how pretty you look then we’ll get you cleaned up.”

Ransom managed to arch his back all pretty while Ari took his picture and sent it to you, all happy and fuzzy as he floated in the warmth of post-orgasmic bliss. He was vaguely aware of Ari relaying that you said you wanted to lick your pretty puppy clean before he let his eyes fall closed. Damn, he felt so fucking good. The only thing that could have made it better was if you were actually there with them. Maybe he could convince you to convince Ari to come on the honeymoon so he could get it from both ends.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

What Shall We Become 34 - Dominic Monaghan

Lizards have a distinct smell, turns out. Kinda dry and dusty, but also…mildewy? Or at least this overgrown cave lizard does. You focus on that as you drift in and out. The pebbly hide, not slimy at all, presses against your cheek as you come more and more into your own body, and you shift your focus to the movement of muscle underneath. Wonder if big boy here is more a komodo dragon, or more a dinosaur. It’s warm, whatever it is.

It’s too had to keep both eyes open. Especially with your head pounding so bad. You open the one any wider and it’s gonna pop right out.

Every drag of air into your lungs hurts. Cause you’re folded over the back of a lizard like a fucking saddle bag. Feet tied together so tight all you feel is a scorching ache up your shins. Your knee joints is filled with ground glass. Hands still bound and every step and shift of that lizard sends shooting pain blasting up your arms.

They ain’t untied you. Didn’t even loosen the ropes. Your fingers is gonna die and drop off and them bitches called you a slave but slaves need hands to work.

They’re gonna kill you. Soon as they figure out how to get past the fucking brainworm.

Your bladder wakes up. And you realize you feel air on your ass crack. Cloth draped over your legs, but not between. A skirt? Your memories is shredded meat, but one bubbles to the surface: something breaking during the pain and hot liquid on your legs.

You pissed yourself at some point.

You squeeze your eyes shut and try to bury your face against the rough hide.

They must’a stripped your pants and them panties (Astarion made that for you and now it’s gone, too). Probably so you don’t smear on and stink up the side of the lizard.

You twist your head enough to spot the actual saddlebag next to your head. Recognize the spider design worked into the leather.

Bitch Queen sits perched in that saddle, back so straight you could use her as a leveler at a construction site. You don’t say nothing. Stay still and quiet—don’t draw attention, give them nothing—but soon, your bladder don’t give you any option. And you say, in Common (sweet jesus you miss Gale), “Piss.”

They do stop. Untie your feet and drag you off to the side. Your toes don’t work no more. Feet won’t take your weight. Skinny stands there over you as you hobble on your screaming knees. He makes no move to help (not that you was expecting it). Your hands don’t work enough to hike up the wrap they tied around your hips, and eventually, Skinny scoffs and leans down and wrenches it up so hard you almost fall.

You try not to think. At all. Certainly not about the wet on your own thighs.

You want this to be over. Want all of this to go away. But it don’t. It just drags on minute by minute, second by second, and you got to be here for every part of it.

Astarion got away, at least. He’s out there, somewhere. You could reach out. Could check. Know for sure if he left you. He said he would after the river. He’d save himself. Leave you to torture and death. And as Skinny hauls you back, lifts you onto the lizard again and sets to work trying your feet back together (the pain takes the air outta your lungs), you almost reach for the group chat.

But you don’t. You can’t.

Too much of a coward. Too much a wounded animal, trying to slink to its den and lick the gaping wound shut.

Off y’all go again, and you’re stuck in the present, in your body, an unwilling passenger to all of it.

***

You know y’all’ve stopped for the day when hands yank you off. You startle, and then hit the ground.

They leave you where you fell. Lead the lizard off and Skinny pulls some kinda something outta his pack to feed the big boy, murmuring and stroking its pointy muzzle as it chomps. Bitch Queen and Short King Shithouse talk in a huddle to the side as the others lay out bedrolls and distribute rations.

They do not give you food. They do drive a stake into the ground, produce a leather cord, and tie your bound, screaming feet to that. Aside from that, they leave you be. They do not speak to you, do not sink spectral claws into your mind, and they don’t give you water.

You’re gonna die. The knowledge seeps into you, lying there in the dim light of surrounding mushrooms. People feed prisoners they intend to keep alive. Their disregard speaks for itself. You’re nothing but cargo to them. A piece of mail to take back and open up and then discard. You can only watch as they crunch and slurp through their food and drink. Notice Skinny sitting off by himself. The others ain’t really taking to him. Haven’t the whole time you been awake enough to register that. Some kinda pecking order?

And then he notices you watching. Cocks his head and looks to the huddled group of women. Stands.

You tense.

He comes over. Stops, standing over you. Looks down a second, and then pulls out his water skin and crouches down.

“Drink?” he says in Common.

Gotta be a trick. You look from the water skin to him and back. His face is blank, neutral. Your tongue sticks to your mouth, so dried out it feels it’s gonna crack like a slug under a sprinkling of salt. But Skinny just crouches there, waiting. It probably wouldn’t help them if you keeled over of dehydration? Which means y’all have to be at least another day to wherever they’re taking you?

You tentatively open your mouth.

Water gushes over your face. You try to twist away, hacking and sputtering, but he only dumps more, following you. Water sloshes up your nose, catches on an inhale and then you’re really choking. Coughing and gagging shit up. Can’t even thrash with half your body rigid with pain. Can only lie there and pant, eyes and nose streaming.

Then you manage to glance up. Catch a flash of movement in the dim light. Pain crunches into your face. His boot. White agony bursts through your skull, boils your brains. You lose a moment or three, and come to, choking again. Not on water or snot, this time. It’s blood.

Bitch Queen says something, voice cracking like a whip. The blur that is Skinny backs away and folds into a bow. One of the women nearby shakes her head.

Pretty sure your nose is broken. Pretty sure your front teeth might be cracked. Your eyes water so bad that you lose sight of everything else but dim movement. Can only roll yourself to your side—a human can drown in, what, a couple teaspoons? You remember enough of basic first aid to know the recovery position.

They leave you as you lie there in torment. You’re there a long while. Or maybe not. Can’t tell. Everything is hurt and cold. You’re alone. Always, always alone. Even when you had Uncle Randy and your cousins, you was alone. Because that’s what you know. All you know. And despite ten fucking years and counselors and therapy and medication, you don’t know how else to be when it comes down to it.

You don’t trust how else to be. Because it always ends in something like this.

You’re gonna die. Hurting. Alone. That tiny ember in you will try, as it tries now, to stay lit. But you always known that someday, something would come along and finally snuff it out. It won’t up and just let you die—you’ll keep on breathing to the end. You’ll even marginally pay attention, keep an eye out, just in case. But someday, and someday soon it seems, it’s gonna—

The drow are quiet. Not a peep. Not a breath. They’re completely still, until you catch the flutter of hand movements. Are they signing? Hard to tell in the dark with your eyes streaming.

They’re all staring intently in the same direction, though. You try to wriggle yourself enough to follow, but your body’s too fucked up. It gives out and you drop back, panting.

And that’s when you feel it. Shift to press the side of your face to the ground like some “good guy Indian guide” from some dumbshit western.

A rumble. Steady and low, it shivers through the ground.

Somebody says something. Gear rustles.

The rumble don’t change pitch or frequency. It’s kinda…familiar? You blow a blood bubble outta your nostril and try to pop your ears…

That’s a fucking birdshark. The fuck is another goddamn fucking birdshark doing out here? And is it…it’s getting louder.

Oh hot fuck. It’s getting closer. Coming right towards this camp. Why in the sweet, flying fuck—

A presence taps at your mind. It feels like bare feet on cold sand laced with sharp rocks just beneath the surface. Silver bright, like the flash of a trout in the murky depths. A hint of dark humor like licorice flavoring in a strong drink.

You crack open the door to your mind. Just a little. Still trying to keep your wibbling guts from spilling into the connection.

And there he is.

Something hisses. Thwips. A drow rasps horrifyingly and stumbles. One of the women clutches her throat. There’s something wrong with it, with the shape…

Oh. Yeah. An arrow would do that.

Drow draw knives and curved short swords. The rumble gets louder and louder, and Bitch Queen finally breaks the silence to snap an order.

A flash in the dark. Something pale. Something fucking fast erupts out of the shadows. Tumbles into a roll as several arrows hiss over his head. He comes up in a crouch, bow already drawn.

He releases. Catches Skinny, standing in the back, right in the thigh.

“Hello, darling!” he says in Chondathan. And then, in your mind: it’s his turn, now.

Which is when the birdshark explodes outta the ground just behind him.

[purplecatghostposts]

oh my god, i love your MH time travel idea. did you have any other ideas for it??

OH BOY DO I

(Referring to this!)

Warning, this may be… Incomprehensible. I just have a lot of ideas and they aren’t fully fleshed out so I’m just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. Hope you like a wall full of spaghetti, Anon!

- While going back in time reverses the physical effects that Operator Sickness had, they all still carry the trauma of its effects and what happened during it, so while only Tim is experiencing symptoms (though currently managing them with his medication), they aren’t completely off scot-free.

- I imagine it takes them a minute to realize exactly how many people woke up with memories of the previous timeline. I feel like Brian would want to tell someone and that someone would end up being Tim and then they’d both realize they remembered and compare notes

- I HC Seth and Sarah as roommates so they immediately find out as well. Amy and Jessica too. Pretty much the only person that thinks they’re in this alone at first is Jay but fortunately that doesn’t last too long because maybe Brian starts trying to subtly figure out if anyone else has any memories by asking questions only someone who knew would know, and finally Tim, Jay, Brian, Seth, and Sarah all realize they’re on the same page.

- Imagine their shock and suspicion when they realize Alex is not. Further suspicion that only grows when Amy and Jessica show up meaning Alex is the only one who doesn’t remember. Maybe they try and test him to see if he’s faking it and if he’ll slip up.

- He doesn’t. Alex really doesn’t remember anything.

- There are… Lots of things to work out. Not just with where to go next but there’s still some animosity within the group and especially regarding the members of ToTheArk. Influenced by an otherworldly being or not, it’s still something they need to resolve. Not to mention, Amy points out that Alex was influenced too, an argument that keeps being brought up because nobody really knows what to think. Alex killed people, but how much of that was Alex and how much of it was something else entirely?

- Meanwhile, Alex just really wanted to work on his film but while he can location scout and work on the script all he wants, without actors, it’s not really gonna go anywhere, and his actors keep finding excuses to put it off.

- Alex has no idea what’s going on with everyone because Tim and Jay are polite at best and usually tense around him, Jessica keeps looking at him like she doesn’t know what to think, Brian can’t seem to make up his mind, Seth and Sarah flat out refuse to be in a room alone with him, even Amy is acting distant. He feels like he’s missing something but he doesn’t know what and nobody is telling him. All the conversations he catches sound like nonsense too so he’s pretty much completely in the dark too.

- Since Alex is out and about location scouting, he ends up catching the early stages of Operator Sickness. The next time he gets into a coughing fit in front of any of them, they freak out and Alex doesn’t get why.

- The arguments get worse. They can’t tell if Alex is doomed to repeat the cycle and if they need to take him out in order to prevent it, or if they can make sure he doesn’t turn out the same this time

- Being around Alex makes them all conflicted. Because this Alex is the Alex that they became friends with in the first place and they missed this version of him a lot but it’s one thing to miss it and another thing to get it back, especially considering a good chunk of them last remember dying because of him before waking up in the past. They don’t know if they can trust him, or if they’ll just get hurt all over again if they get attached

- Their distance from Alex causes a lot of internal issues for Alex himself. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s the odd man out here, and the problem they have. He just doesn’t understand why and it’s frustrating but whenever he gets frustrated, it just drives them all further away and makes it worse. He doesn’t know what to do.

- Then maybe (still deciding on when), one day, Alex wakes up. And he remembers everything and understands better than ever. He doesn’t blame them. He didn’t help them at all in the end. But maybe he can now.

- In order to stop the sickness, it’s best to cut it off at the source. Alex doesn’t know what he can do against a monster like that but since it no longer has such a tight hold over him, he can do something this time. He has to do something. And if he dies trying? Then at the very least, it can’t use him against them anymore.

- While Alex does try to stand up to the Operator, it goes rather poorly. Fortunately, someone finds him unconscious somewhere (maybe Brian), drags him back to one of their apartments, and they have a talk when he wakes up. They’re still not the most comfortable around him but suffice to say, Alex regaining his memories and immediately choosing to attempt to fight the Operator proves that he’s not gonna repeat the same mistakes twice, solving that matter at the very least.

- Cue a whole lot of healing while attempting to figure out a way to get rid of a creature beyond their understanding

That’s about what I got! Again, just spitballed ideas, definitely needs some more fine tuning but it’s a start. Hope you enjoyed!

Also ty for the Ask, I love rambling about funny little AUs and it gives me all the more reason to :)

[clowningcrows]

sorry this is the ONLY discourse ill allow myself to participate in post finale of agatha all along (or i fear i will lose my mind entirely), but DAMN some people out here rn after the finale being like “i’m sorry you didn’t get the agathario smut you wanted” BITCH!!!! I WASNT ASKING FOR THEM TO FUCK ON SCREEN!!!! i didn’t even need them to get together or even get any semblance of a happy ending!!! i didn’t expect a happy ending in the least tbh!!!!! but you know what i did expect? a final ending. a wrap up. a satisfying and complete finale. a conclusion that actually answers any one of my remaining questions or gave us more context for scenes that we’ve been missing context on the entire time. and i’m sorry but this finale didn’t do that at all. and it’s obviously not bury your gays but jesus christ it wasn’t a good conclusion either. at best it’s honestly a cheap set up for a season two or further content with billy that will prob include bits and pieces of agatha

[zimmbzon]

You working at the bookstore just trying to have a quiet one, do your job, get paid and get out. But these two fuckers are having the realest fake date you’ve ever seen. All over your goddam books.

[tenwhiteandalusians]

so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.

[lilacevans]

it’s amazing how men can just ruin everything

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

[tariah23]

Noooo…… first it’s Yuuta and Shoko, now they’re yo-yoing back around to Megumi.

[deadandphilgames]

oversharing in the tags time :)

[crossbackpoke-check]

re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on

https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share

(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.

(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)

anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂

- @bondedpairs

ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!

[sparky-is-spiders]

Y’know the whole “Peter and Elias are constantly marrying and divorcing” thing well consider: Jonpeter on-again off-again toxic affair.