#but it’s fine when he wants to waste all his days on fucking warcraft

[lilacevans]

it’s amazing how men can just ruin everything

[derenger]

Growing up, parenting and gaming - Longread on life, computer games and finding yourself

This longread is dedicated to and written for all those current and former kids, who had or have troubles growing up, taking decisions, finding themselves in the world they live in, who play games independently of age and – perhaps – have not lost their love for a good game, good times and good buddies.

Perhaps it will help someone in their life. If that happens – I shall think of this writing as useful and my time writing it as not completely wasted.

The ideas have been on my mind for over 2 years now (they started getting very clear when I started doing therapy) and I have to put them on paper now.

Here it goes.

I grew up in the 90s in Eastern Europe. After the USSR collapsed millions of people found themselves without work, perspectives and means of existence. We were lucky that my dad had a good job that was paid in hard currency, however he was barely home – and by that I mean like seeing him 2 or 3 times a month.

We had good living conditions compared to others and my mom did the best she could too take care of my younger bro and me.

The first time we were exposed to computer games was when I was like 7 and my bro was 5 – in the office where the boyfriend of our aunt has been working. We played Dangerous Dave, Scorched Earth, Socoban, Digger, Civilization, The Incredible Machine and some others I do not recall the names. And of course, we liked it and it did not take long for our dad to install them on his PC at home. 2 years later my best buddy got Doom 2 installed on his PC and that was the absolute blast. We spent weeks trying to figure out how to get through level 2 and it was a big holiday when our buddy finally did.

My dad tried to restrict TV and computer time per week, so we always opted for the PC. Over time I learned to turn it on by myself and play when there was no one at home. My dad did not know.

A couple of our friends had 8bit consoles - soviet bootlegs of Super Nintendoes, with TMNT and Chip n Dale, but that was probably it. After all, we were living in a small village with not that many possibilities to make money.

When I was 10 we moved to a bigger city into a 1 room apartment. All 4 of us. This was 1996. 2 other very important things:

We started going to a far bigger school than before, where the mood was totally different from what we were used to. We were bullied and beaten, could not get along with other pupils and teachers and no one actually cared.

Father was home every day.

We started going to a far bigger school than before, where the mood was totally different from what we were used to. We were bullied and beaten, could not get along with other pupils and teachers and no one actually cared.

Father was home every day.

I mean, father was present home every day. It is not like he spent time with us doing sports or whatever. He just had any idea what to do with us as this was his first long time exposure to kids in the 11 years we were a family.

He was more of an authoritarian guy – we were not supposed to waste time in gaming clubs, listen to stupid music (Prodigy, Beastie Boys), we should have studied well, read books, have been doing sports and in general act like good kids.

We were doing some martial arts sports cause mom brought us there. We were taking music classes cause “everyone has to”. We were supposed to help out at home. We were not supposed to hang out with “bad” kid or stay outside till late hours. We were not supposed to smoke, swear and simulate illness to miss classes. We were not supposed to get into trouble.

It is not like we were putting a lot of thought into it. We just moved to the city from rural area and frankly speaking were absolutely not happy about. I guess we just went with the flow.

This was also the time when the first “gaming spot” in town opened – they had 2 Sega Mega Drives II and 1 Sony PlayStation. MK3, MK3 Ultimate, Contra Hard Cops, Golden Axe, some samurai fighting games for the Sega. SPS – Red Alert, Twisted Metal, Duke Nukem, Doom and of course – an incredible breakthrough for its time – Quake 2. And that was a revelation. I recall mom giving us money from time to time. To go play. Sega cost like 1 buck and hour, SPS – 1,5 bucks – far more expensive, so we played mainly on Sega.

At the same time we did have some games at home – Doom, Power Formula 1, Lines, the same Civilization, Lion King, Alladin, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, Gods and Dune 2000. Dad did not want to allow us play games. Like, at all. Don’t ask me why he never deleted the games. The PC was mainly used for him to work. So when he left home, he took the power cable of the monitor and closed it in his spare suitcase. What we did was to unplug the cable from the printer and use for the monitor. Later on he hid both cables – from the monitor and the PC in the suitcase. I found a way to open the suitcase with a very fine flat screwdriver. Mom hid the fact from our dad for a while until he noticed the suitcase was “broken”. I believe they did not speak with each other for a week. But I am still proud of the fact of cracking that suitcase! Fuck yeah!

Things started getting worse when I transferred to a lyceum - 1998. I was 12. This was like a gymnasium for hardcore science-kids, where they went deep into math and natural sciences. I was hysterical the first 2 years as I was barely making the program. Even my dad had troubles solving the math they gave us. Music classes turned to shits. I had no time nor mood for sport. But I had to keep doing it all. Just because. There were a couple of bullies in class, whose parents bribed the management of the school so that their kids would have fancy graduation papers at the end and frankly speaking no one could get a grip on them. That had me very depressed.

Around 13 I started stealing money from my parents and missing classes to go to computer clubs – their number was getting bigger every week, consoles started to disappear. Half Life, CS 1.6, Age of Empires 2, Q3, D2 1.07, Black and White, SimCity 2000, NOX, StarCraft Brood War and many other games had our full attention. The biggest part of it was the fact you could play with or against your friends! That was so fucking awesome! At the same time I started discovering sci-fi and rock music, but that is a different story.

We stole a lot of money from our parents in those times and missed a lot of classes and of course after 3 or 4 months it all got revealed. Boy oh boy our dad smoked us. That was very very tough for a kid when all the things he actually liked were taken from him. Dark times when we were seriously asking ourselves what the hell our parents wanted from us as aside from the stuff they told us to do they never really told us what was it for. Everything else was useless, stupid or waste of time.

Somehow my marks at school got better closer to graduation and I graduated almost with a medal, went to university. I remember they had this PC club with like 200 PCs and from time to time we skipped one or the other lecture to play Starcraft or CS, but very quickly boozing with buddies became the major leisure activity and pushed gaming to the back. I did pretty well at the university, made my master with excellence and that was it – 6 years flew by in a blink of an eye.

I got my own PC during the first year at the uni, played a bit of Warcraft 3, HOMM 3, Quake 3, Lineage II but it was not like I was deep into that. I remember after defending my master I spent like 3 days playing Crysis without anyone saying a word. I mean, I was through with the university. I was free!

Soon after that I went on to work abroad as a project engineer in the chemical industry.

At the moment I am doing sales engineer for a good salary in Berlin, I am married and except for the Corona and all the restrictions it brought life seems ok.

During the last 10 years of my “adult” life I have been in many different situations. I have been very sick a couple of times, running on the edge of life and death. I have been in some useless relations that only drained energy and nerves from me. I also have been diagnosed with depression and burnout at some point, did therapy and consider myself fully recovered from both. I’ll be summarizing it all below.

When I look at my life it did occur to me that gaming was far more important than just the sheer desire to shoot buddies and skip school.

Growing up under the conditions where everything is predetermined one does not really get the chance to expose your own wish. After all, my parents both come from very unhappy families and did not have the exactly best examples of parenting.

It occurred to me that they never really cared about anything we achieved – whether in school, music or sports. I recall a couple of times when I did really good, like winning the City-contest in English language or getting my first “good” in algebra in 7th grade as that shit was extremely tough. I do not recall any reaction. In fact, mom and dad put their close attention to us only when things started getting really bad, like when we were skipping classes or got arrested for setting up fireworks in a crowded place. We never really got any positive feedback for anything we did because our parents just had no idea how to do that. I do not blame them – they were trying their best from their own experience.

And gaming was the absolute opposite to all of that.

Going to computer clubs we knew exactly that we were surrounded by like-minded lads. We made some good friends along the way – lads, who were always ready to jam on de_dust or bring their D2 chars to share some loot. One of the owners of the club had a daughter who was really good in Q3 – I remember everyone has been looking at her like she was some sort of demigod. The games gave us the space and playground we needed so much – clear even rules for everyone. If you frag – you win. If you don’t – you lose. If you suck – the older guys would always help with a couple of tips. Games also gave us control. I really liked the games where you went on an adventure, like NOX or Will Rock or serious Sam. Gaming also gave us the space to take our own decisions and suffer the full consequences if these were wrong – getting overrun by zerglings or getting fragged with rocket launcher with QUAD DAMAGE.

Gaming clubs were our safe space. At some point our dad did raid the computer clubs and did bust us a couple of times. Sure we got beaten on those occasions.

I recall my bro being very proud on getting 1st in the national 2v2 ladder in SC:BW later in the uni. He also used to game the whole night long at my parents place. This was over 10 years ago and they still do not know. He is still very good in SC though he does not play anymore.

I do play sometimes – currently grinding D2 and refreshing my knowledge in chess. I do not have more time for any other more or less serious game.

I am slowly approaching the point where I should write a conclusion – it is going to be quite simple. Gaming was the first opportunity to take my life into my own hands. It took me 32 years of my own life to find the power in me to take responsibility for myself and not to rely on someone else. My decision – my choice – my consequences. It took a lot of trouble and turmoil for me to get to this point and finally embracing the power within feels great. It was also the first surrounding of dudes just like me, which was a very good feeling back then.

During the last 6 months I switched to a job that pays almost the double of my previous one, my wife moved in with me from abroad, we have a nice apartment and are looking forward to vacations in the Alps. I still have to find a way to approach my parents though I am not sure the old hive is worth disturbing. I guess time will tell.

Whenever I am down or things do no go according to play – I do turn to gaming occasionally, just to get back into the world where I am in full control. It gives me power and I guess hope that everything will work out. If not now – then over time. You just have to keep practicing. And ask for help when it is needed.

I hope you found this read interesting.

[four-clovers]

[A brief video is posted from Yves’ Charity Livestream which Connie apparently crashed.]

Connie and Yves were sitting on a couch.  Connie was wearing a t-shirt with a World of Warcraft logo on it.  Yves was wearing most of a tuxedo, though his coat was missing and his bowtie was askew.  He looked at least mildly intoxicated, slouching with the controller in hand.  Connie had tossed his legs across Yves lap.  This image was fixed in a small corner of the screen, the rest of it taken up by a pixelated farm.

“Alright so it’s the first day of fall,”  Yves said.  “What should I plant?

“Potatoes.”

“What?”  Yves frowned.  “I thought the profits on those were shit.  Do we need them to craft something?” “No, I just like potatoes.”

“Christ, Connie, I am not planting a farm full of potatoes just because you like them.  Which of these crops are actually going to make us money?”

“Listen, we can live off the potatoes,” Connie argued.  “They’re good for everything.  All your nutrients.  When the next country over invades we’re going to be just fine-” “Don’t-” Yves interrupted, only to have Connie talk over him. “With our hoard of potatoes.  Do you want this farm to be crushed by it’s English neighbors?”  

“Fine,” Yves said, rolling his eyes.  “Make a joke about the goddamn potato famine.”

“I feel it’s my duty as an Irishman,” Connie said, looking insufferably smug. “Shut the fuck up, most games don’t even have potatoes in them.” “Are you sure?” “Am I- Of course I’m fucking sure!” “That seems like an oversight.” “I’m sorry, you think video games should have MORE potatoes?”

“No,” Connie said, as if explaining the concept to a child.  “I think more video games should be about potatoes.”

“Jesus Christ.”

----

“So I emailed the girl who made this game,” Connie began. “What!” Yves paused in the middle of planting several neat rows of kale.

“I asked how much it would cost to make potatoes the most profitable thing in the game.”

“Don’t offer people potato bribes!” “She sent me a mod,” Connie continued, ignoring Yves.  “She said it’ll increase the sale price of potatoes and that we can have it for free.”  He showed Yves an email on his phone, tilting it away from the camera.  “How do we install this?  We have to stop the potato famine, Yves.” “We don’t!  We are not installing O.P. potato hacks!  There is no famine!”

“I’m starting to feel like you’re not one hundred percent on board with the whole potato thing.”

“I have never been any percent on board with the potato thing!”  Yves said.  “You need to make your own potato game!”

“Okay, who do I call to make a potato game?” “Fuck, I don’t know.  Doesn’t Initech make apps?”

“I dunno.” “Don’t you know everyone in this fucking city?”

“I’m only human, Yves.”  Connie reached over to take Yves phone out of his pocket, tapping in the password and scrolling through his contacts.  He kept Yves from taking his phone back by carefully positioning one of his feet on Yves’ side, propping him up against the couch. “You talk to Anthen sometimes, don’t you?  I should call him.” “It’s not like I can stop you,” Yves said, exasperated, as he tried to resume farming things that were not potatoes.

The phone rang, and it was on speaker.

“..... hello ….?” The voice on the other end sounded half asleep.  The clock on the computer screen that was being broadcast read 3:32am.

“Hello!  You’re on speakerphone and you’re being recorded.”

“... Yves?”

“No, but he’s around.  Conlaodh O’Toole, speaking.”

“Mr. O’Toole,” Anthen began.

“Yes?”

“It’s the middle of the night on a Wednesday.”

Yves shook his head and continued to clear out weeds.

“I need you to make a video game about potatoes.”

“What.”

Yves hung his head, ashamed.

“Which part of this is giving you trouble?”

“What- I don’t,” Anthen said.  “All aspects?  Potatoes??”

“Yves said there aren’t any video games about potatoes.”

“Don’t bring me into this!”  Yves protested.

“Are you drunk?”

“I’m not, but Yves is.  I can understand why you’d think that,” Connie said, talking over Yves’ continued protests.  “Can you make the game or not?”

“Mr. O’Toole, I’m a physicist.”  

“It’s three in the morning Anthen.  Call me Connie.”  

Yves had to pause the game to bury his face in the arm of the couch.

Anthen sighed over the phone, the speaker turning the noise to static.  “When do you need this?  Can it be any kind of game?”

“Don’t encourage him!” Yves said, muffled by the couch cushions.

“Ideally in an hour or two.  It can be anything as long as it’s a game about potatoes.  And good.  And in exchange you get nothing.”

“.....okay.”

----

“If you’re watching this,” Yves said as his character harvested leafy fistfuls of kale, “Go on twitter and say something nice to Anthen Reiter.  He is a very nice man and he doesn’t deserve this.”

----

“He emailed me,” Connie said, glancing down at his phone.

“What?  It’s only been an hour!”

“Yeah, and it shows.  This game is terrible.”

“CONNIE.”

“It’s just a flappy bird game but with potatoes!  He’s replaced the bird and the obstacles with potatoes.  Potatoes can’t fly!”

“Oh my god.”

“This makes potatoes seem dangerous.  It sends a bad message.”

“OH MY GOD.”

“And objectively speaking, Flappy Potatoes is the worst name for a game I’ve ever heard.”

“Don’t tell him that!”  Yves said.  “Making games is hard!”

“I already emailed him.  He just emailed me back.”

“What did he say?”

“It just says ‘Mr. O’Toole i have never made a game before and i am very tired’, with no punctuation.”

“We have to send him a fancy edible arrangement or something.  He has a company to run and instead he’s letting you waste his time with potato games.”

[truemedian]

Kotaku Reacts To Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Screenshot: NintendoTwo weeks have passed since Animal Crossing: New Horizons came out, and almost everyone on the Kotaku staff has poured themselves into trying to make our new desert islands feel like home. It’s been...a process—full of blood, sweat, and a lot of broken axes—and we have some thoughts about it.Hopefully by now you’ve read fellow staff writer Ian Walker’s excellent review of the game, but in addition, we wanted to share the opinions, reactions, personal tribulations, and success stories of others on the staff as we survive Tom Nook’s fascinating new time share scheme together.

“My shitty house”—Maddy MyersScreenshot: Nintendo Maddy MyersI do not play simulation games. I spend no time at all on character creators. I’ve never played an Animal Crossing game before. And yet, Animal Crossing: New Horizons has become a game that I play almost every single day.I’m not sure if I’m even enjoying it. But I do know that it’s fulfilling a hyper-specific need for me right now. As an introverted person who already works from home, I don’t get a lot of social interaction in my daily life, outside of spending time with my equally introverted girlfriend. Before covid-19 happened, I would get a lot of low-impact socializing done in a typical week by chatting with the cashier at the grocery store, or making small talk with the other people at my gym. All of that is gone now.Instead, I make small talk with Timmy and Tommy. I discuss exercise with Flip, the jock monkey villager who lives in my Animal Crossing town. And, of course, I decorate my crappy Animal Crossing apartment and I invite my real-life friends over to (virtually) see it, and then I apologize to them, because it looks even worse than my actual real-life apartment. Animal Crossing allows me to perfectly recreate all the awkward but somehow fulfilling social interactions that I used to have when society still functioned.Will I keep logging in to Animal Crossing every day after the covid-19 pandemic has passed us over? Probably not. But until then, it’s given me a chance to see what it is that other people enjoy about this genre. It’s also made me realize that I need to seriously work on my interior decorating skills.

Ian WalkerI only own two pairs of jeans in real life, but I’m rapidly running out of room for all the clothes I buy in Animal Crossing. Here are some of my outfits:Mike FaheyOn the day Animal Crossing: New Horizons launched, the 512-gigabyte micro SD card in my Switch died. Four days later, after my wife had started playing, her Switch suddenly stopped charging. While trying to get her Switch to work, my system, purchased mere weeks before the game’s launch, stopped outputting video. As I normally play in TV mode, that’s not great. I have a Switch Lite, but I ran it over with my wheelchair and cracked the screen.Nintendo’s warranty repair is down, so I have to wait until the world returns to normal to get any of these consoles repaired. With Nintendo supply down, it’s nearly impossible to buy a new Switch right now. So my wife went on eBay and purchased a refurbished Switch tablet for $250. That’s how much fun we’re having bonding over Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

I can’t play when she can’t play. It’s just too sad. I feel bad sharing items I get, clothing I wear, and bugs I collect with her. For the several days we got to play together, by which I mean in the same room, it was much easier to forget pressing real-world concerns for a little while.We stayed up late to harvest bells. We got up early to see what occurred on our islands as we slept. The chores we must perform on our islands are much more entertaining than the ones we must perform in real life. They are still chores, but they pass the time and make us happy.Bklurbbbb...Natalie DegraffinriedI’ve spent 105 hours playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons over the span of a couple weeks. I suppose I kind of like Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Or my OCD is back with a vengeance. I keep going to celebrations for inclines and bridges even though I’m tired of them, so it’s probably the OCD.

I didn’t think I could take the fine art of min-maxing to higher heights, but here I am in an endless cycle of Nook tickets, tarantula grinding, and organizing my inventory by item valuation. It’s all to fund my Able Sisters shopping problem, ultimately. I look fly as hell, though.

Min-maxing in Animal Crossing is not for the faint of heart, nor is it always a great way to play. It might be even harder to do now that the seasons have changed. Will that stop me? No. I’ll keep getting upgrades and obsessively trying to pay them off in the same day. Do what gives you peace, I say.Just don’t be a fucking goober like my friend.

Riley MacLeodNew Horizons is my first Animal Crossing—our editor-in-chief Stephen talked the game up so much I got really curious about it. I only actually started playing this week, so everything feels very slow—when I get the itch to do something, I keep wanting to switch to Stardew Valley, but I’m really charmed by how happy the NPCs are when you do the simplest tasks and how often everyone claps for you. I also really like that your character runs around with their arms out. I put face paint on my guy and I can’t figure out how to get it off, so he just has face paint now I guess.

Ari NotisThe short version: This is the most annoying game I’ve ever played.And here’s how I really feel: At every turn, this stupid game presents a somehow brand-new hassle: how Blathers has to assess your fossils before you can donate them; how the Nook twins stop you to say thanks before you leave their shop, and how they say everything in not-quite-tandem (WTF is up with that); how you can only eat one fruit at a time; how your shovel is always breaking, your ax is always breaking, your net is always breaking; how two players can’t shop from the same person at the same time in co-op; how it’s impossible to dig a hole where you want; and how every damn day, that damn raccoon monster wastes my time to tell me there’s nothing new going on. I know there’s nothing new going on! This is Animal Crossing! Nothing new ever happens! This game is supposed to be an escape? Please. It’s at best a shoddy Xerox of life’s daily headaches.

Luke PlunkettEveryone says this is the game the world needs right now, but the last thing I need is a second mortgage hanging over my head. At least this one’s on the beach.Heather AlexandraI’ve never played an Animal Crossing game before now. In some ways, I missed out on many Nintendo games as my focus shifted off the Nintendo 64 in favor of the PlayStation and especially the modding scenes of PC games like Half-Life. When I needed a fix for homes away from home, I played Harvest Moon. That led to Stardew Valley and long hours on a co-op farm with a former partner. I enjoy the quiet of village sims and farming games. I also struggle to find the time for them.I haven’t taken the biggest plunge into ACNH. I had to focus on Nioh 2, then Doom Eternal, then Resident Evil 3. So 20-minute sojourns to my island every day were a rare and delicious treat. I can’t compare New Horizons to the others in the series, but I can say that it is an incredibly cozy game during a time when coziness seems rare. Sometimes, a good day means little more than some new wallpaper for your room. In other cases, it’s figuring out where to put that memorial statue you found. Animal Crossing is simple, but that simplicity is why you play it. Planting a new tree, inviting a new animal friend to your island. Small things that don’t feel small at all.Now, if only that freako rabbit would get off my island already...

Where every month is hoagie fest. Screenshot: Nintendo Ethan GachEvery night I shake all the trees, pick all the weeds, and smack objects with my axes until all of them break. In the morning I sell the stuff, and the cycle repeats. Conversations with other villagers scroll past as I smash the A button so I can get back to work. I buy everything I can from Tom Nook like I’m filling out a Sears Catalog Pokédex. I pay off all the loans thanks to the million bells I earned from New Horizons’ week-one infinite item glitch and subsequently invested in the Turnip market. I donate the wood and iron needed to build new homes for new residents. I capture new bugs and fish for the betterment of science. And all the while I wait like Vladimir and Estragon for an epiphany that will help contextualize each individual mundane task and help them culminate into a larger story I can derive some deeper sense of meaning and purpose from.Instead I’m left with a list of things that more closely resembles a CVS receipt. I suspect that’s a problem with me and not the game.Nathan GraysonFor the past week, I’ve been meaning to play through Doom Eternal and finally, properly dive into Control. Instead, I have mostly played Animal Crossing.I don’t really like it? I respect the relaxed pace it’s trying to establish, but by forcing players to step to its beat with fussy mechanics and NPCs who needlessly repeat themselves all the time, it’s managed to annoy me just as often as it’s lulled me into a state of balmy island bliss. Also, I’m bad at interior design, so right now my house looks like World of Warcraft’s Molten Core raid if Ragnaros was a disorganized college freshman who had no idea what to do with his dorm.Oh, and all my neighbors suck. In previous Animals Crossing (correct plural) , that didn’t matter so much, because I enjoyed doing little chores for them and feeling like I was creating a sense of community even among characters with whom I didn’t see eye to eye. In New Horizons, though, it’s all about land development, which feels less personal. I don’t want KK Slider to show up because I optimized my town. I want him to play some tunes for my villagers and me because he’s a chill, cool dude.All that said, this game has given me one of the coolest in-game moments I’ve experienced since we all got trapped inside our houses. I wrote about this at length in another piece, but the other night, DJ and streamer Clarke “Grimecraft” Nordhauser threw an in-game rave, and I attended. Surrounded by the avatars of people I did not know and dancing along with awkwardly improvised moves, I felt the same mixture of fear and exhilaration I’ve felt at countless shows in real life. After I shook my nerves (read: drank a glass of wine), it turned into a relaxing, nice time where everybody mostly talked about how good the music was and how much they appreciated the whole thing. Sometimes, a vacation can be 90 percent unpleasant, but then years later, all you remember is a soothing day on the beach or a perfect sunset. Animal Crossing has some really nice sunsets.

“Me and my partner hanging out last night in AC”—Paul TamayoScreenshot: Nintendo Paul Tamayo I’ve already talked about how Animal Crossing: New Horizons couldn’t have come at a better time, but the ways it’s helping me keep in touch with friends by sending gifts in-game, getting help from my podcast listeners, and hopping on calls to visit each other’s islands has taken this game to another level for me. It’s also giving me the space to put care into my own island like it’s my own adorable bonsai tree. I get to care for it and improve upon it in a million different ways. My partner actually made the beautiful observation yesterday that even after island hopping through our friends’ islands, it really does feel good to return home to your own space. Read More Read the full article

[prussianvenom]

Ehoge

Alfred walks in on Kiku during her quality alone time, things escalate

Nothing had been happening all day. Absolutely nothing. It was a boring, bullshitty kind of day. Alfred sighed and tossed on his couch some more. All his other friends were busy doing something, too busy to spend any time with their good friend Alfred. The blonde attempted to entertain himself throughout the day but it was pointless.

Movies, comics, porn. It was all just bleh.

So he figured to waste the rest of his day numbing his mind with computer-generated fun times. What should it be today? Mass Effect? World of Warcraft? He was feeling particularly lonesome so he figured an MMO or something should do fine. So the chubby American sits down and boots up some good ol Overwatch.

He was feeling good. Had some good games, good matches, managed to keep his main for most of the matches. But...And there's always a but when it came to this game. It started with someone bagging his main. No big deal, he was pretty alright with Reaper and D.va, he could deal fine. BUT. Then everyone refused to be a healer, causing everyone else to get more aggravated as the match went on. To top it off the person who stole his main couldn't play him worth a shit!

He had enough. He needed his ace in the hole, the Zenyatta master of disaster, Kiku. He did a quick check to see if she was online. She was, of course, and quickly sent her an invite.

‘Hey, Kitty Kik!!! You wanna help me with some OW matches? Ppl are taking 76 and taking the piss, I need to level up ykno???? And I know you need to level up too! Get them loot boxes!! Get that new bitchin Dva skin right??? If you help me out I'll buy it for ya ;))))’

That should do it. He knew Kiku was dying to get all the skins, being the completionist she was. She was itching to get one of those shiny bug ones for Dva, being the last that she needed.

Alfred went back to his game and waited for Kiku to reply. A good half hour passed before he went to check his messages. Maybe she was having computer troubles. It didn't say what she was playing. She could also be working of course. What other reason was there? She would never leave him hanging like this, especially when it came to gaming and the promise of skins.

He should help her out! What kind of friend would he be if he let his best friend and her computer suffer? So he jumped in his super sweet ass and car and sped off to the rescue.

When he got to Kikus apartment flat it was….unusual. There was…an aura surrounding the door. Alfred began to feel nervous. No, no way, we’re talking about the great Al of the amazing US of A. He's not nervous. Just... Increasingly concerned for his friend. He knocked and got no answer. He knocked louder and got no answer again.

Okkkk, he was nervous. This was even less like Kiku. He knew she was home, her bike was out front. What's wrong? Was she in the shower? Did she leave her laptop open? No, someone as meticulous as Kiku wouldn't let her computer on and out like that. What if….What if there was some sort of crazy ax murderer in there right now holding sweet precious Kiku captive?!?!?!

Alfred ready to barge through was about to shoulder through the door, but when he grabbed the handle it was unlocked.

Well

Hmm

An ax murderer would have locked the doors right?

Kiku would too though….

The plot thickens.

Alfred peered in and tiptoed into the small living space. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. He snuck around some more, on the off chance there was some sort of ax murderer just chilling. Shit! What would he do if there was some sort of psycho in here?!

A sound.

A soft groan came from the direction of Kikus room.

Alfred froze. It came again louder this time. It didn't sound like a big ax-wielding murdering man. It was too soft to really discern what it was. It did sound like one of distress. Alfred willed himself, sure that he would be able to take on whatever foe there may be. Alfred sprung into action and busted through the bedroom door like a bat out of hell.

At this moment Alfred realized a couple of things. She could be busy, didn't notice the message, could have been on a walk. Could've been home this entire time and didn't have to answer him. Also, this had to be some form of breaking and entering. It was at this moment Alfred realized why she was not paying attention to his messages.

She was indeed busy with other things… at the… moment��.

There, disheveled on the floor, loosely covered in a blanket, pink and sweating in front of her laptop was Kiku. The laptop displaying very...detailed...intimate...actions.

The two froze, mouths gaping and staring blankly at each other with large owlish eyes.

Kiku squeaks and pulls the blanket to cover her body before choking out high pitch explanations and apologies. Alfred listens for a split second before the sounds started buzzing out into white noise.

It was a Kiku he had never seen before. Her black hair was matted to her sweaty red face. The red traveled from her face down her neck to the pale skin of her collarbone that she neglected to hide with her blanket. Als eyes continue to wander to laptop she was previously staring at. On the screen was a sex scene from the perspective of a girl riding a man that looked to be a classmate of hers. The classmate kind of looked like-

Kiku noticed his line of sight and slammed the laptop with such force he was sure Kiku had broken it.

Kiku stopped rambling. Her fingers clutched the blanket tightly while the other stayed shaking on top of the laptop. Her face was drawn tight and she looked like she might self ignite if she was left a second longer. It was almost cute.

Wait, no. Alfred quickly corrected himself.

Kiku was his friend.

One of his only chick friends at that. She was a good friend too. He couldn't ruin that friendship, not with those kinds of thoughts. This was a tricky situation. She was small and vulnerable in front of him. He had to handle this situation with care.

Kikus face was flushed and scrunched, her black eyes looked starry with unshed tears. Alfred could hear her soft breaths coming through her pink, teeth worried lips. He noticed the blanket was small and did not cover up all of her. A pale calf was stretched out from under the blue comforter.

Alfred's eyes unwillingly followed up the patch of skin- There's a pillow. There's a pillow? Why would she have a pillow in between her legs instead o- OH!

OHHHH!

The last of the light bulbs lit up in Al's head. His face flushed darker when he grasped the situation. Oh god. Oh GOD! Al couldn't stop the flood of images and scenarios of the lithe girl in debauched and lewd ways. Damn him, damn his imaginations. It escalated to the point of him imagining himself in place of the pillow.

Fuck.

Fuck!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Kikus face shifted from quiet panic to astonished embarrassment.

He was hard.

He was fucking hard.

As if this situation could be any worse. Way to go dick. Way to fucking go, you ruin everything.

He wanted to bury himself under a rock, as he imagined she probably did too.

“Umm,” Al floundered, finally breaking the silence. “So uh, you...You weren't answering my messages. So I, uh, I got worried. Th..Thought something happened.”

Alfred felt so stupid. It sounded so dumb when he said it out loud.

Kiku blinks before opening the laptop to check. There on the steam page was a slew of messages from her blonde friend in varying degrees of concern. She chuckles quietly and holds her face in hands.

“I...Was too distracted to notice I guess.” Kiku answers jokingly.

“So..What uh, what were you playing?” Kiku slapped her laptop close in a knee jerk reaction and looked off to the side.

“I'm not going to make fun of ya, if that's what you think.” Alfred fiddled with his fingers. He looked a bit like a kid Kiku thought.

“It...It's a dating sim.” Kiku admitted.

“That didn't look like dating.” Kiku huffed out a breathy laugh.

“That's what people do when they date, don't they?” Al bit his tongue.

“W-were you, um, I mean. Was I…Did I walk in on you, y'know...having a good time?” Alfred was going for nonchalant when he asked. Tried to keep it cool and friendly as they both were trying to avoid the staggering amounts of elephants in the room.

Kiku groaned and pulled the blanket over her face.

“You came to check on me right?! Y-you did, I'm fine! Now you, you can go home!”

Alfred was sure she was trying to sound angry but to Alfred it almost sounded like she was embarrassed and even...pleading?

No. Al needed to stop. He needed to leave now..but...he needed to confirm one thing before he left.

“Ok, ok, but hey...It might be my imagination...but...that uh, character, was it meant to look like me?”

Kikus head shot out of the blanket

“Is it a coincidence? Or?”

“W-what?!” Kiku looked horrified. “N-no, I, I.” Kikus face had millions of emotions breaking across it. Her face somehow managed to get redder.

“Merely a c-coincidence. I assure you.” Kiku meekly answered. She was lying. She never had a good poker face. It only made it harder for her to maintain good face when it came to embarrassing things like this.

“Kiku? Its, ok, yknow if it was.” Alfred offered soothingly. Kiku looked down at her fiddling hands. Guilt was struck in her features. It hurt to see her upset.

Alfred got on his knees to level with the small Japanese woman. Emotions he shoved down, dormant, began to swell again in his chest.

“Were you imagining me? With you?” Alfred felt like he was reaching.

His chest was tight. She was his friend, she would never be interested. That's what he kept telling himself. That was the only reason she was special. That she stood out.

That all went to hell when she looked up at him with honest, glassy black eyes.

He had a crush on her. He probably always did.

He inched a little closer when Kiku said nothing. She leaned forward to reach him.

“Well...You, you are an attractive, outgoing man. Or at least I think so, a lot of women, would, would…”

“Kiku?”

Alfred jumped out of his skin when Kiku gently pushed her lips against his. As soon as the connection was made it ended.

“Kik-?”

“I love you,” Kiku confessed abruptly. A beat passed.

Kikus face showed a spectacle of emotions as her brain caught up with her words. Before she could duck away into the blankets in embarassment Alfred grabbed her excitedly by the shoulders.

“Holy shit Kiku!!!” Alfred exclaimed, face lighting up in pure joy. “Dude! I love you too!” He pulled the now laughing woman into a warm embrace. Kiku was still laughing when he pulled back and kissed her again.

When they pulled back the awkwardness was beginning to worm its way back into the situation.

“I guess that answers my question huh?”

“Oh..” Kiku laughed bashfully and nodded.

“So…” Alfred inched closer, their knees bumping together, “Were you thinking about having sex with me?” Al winked.

Kiku giggled and slots her knee in between his. “Perhaps.”

“Perhaps? I doubt that pillow will say the same.” Al stared pointedly at the abuse pillow still squeezed between Kikus pale thighs.

“I-”

“Kiku~ Do you want to ride me like that?” Al pointed to the laptop.

“I, no, I mean-”

“Kiku, Kiku,” Al stroked her neck gently. She jumped at the touch. He could feel her heartbeat hammering in her veins. “All you have to do is ask.”

Kiku smiled weakly at the others playful attempt to ‘woo’ her. Kiku leaned into the palm at her neck. It was surprisingly cold compared to her heated skin. She moved off the pillow to be slotted at the knees with the other. She mimicked the movements of the other. Moving to caress the blondes cheek and neck.

“You did not give me the impression that I could until now.” Kiku attempted to copy the sly smirk. Alfred in turned blushed. Kiku felt goosebumps rise under her fingers.

“Well, the answer is yes if you are asking.”

“I...I am asking.” Alfred's hand began to quiver against her nape.

“Fuck Kiku.”

Feeling emboldened and dumb from the blood rush, Kiku surged against the man. Their mouths clashed together. Years of repressed feelings and tension between them flooded forth. Al felt light headed. He would never tell the small beauty this, but he imagined this sort of moment so many times in his lonesome.

God, she was so much softer than he imagined. He felt her fingers curl into his t-shirt and christ almighty he was barely able to restrain a moan...Barely. The hands curled and pushed the shirt up incessantly. She pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting him and her wet lips.

“Can I?” Kiku asked quietly while tugging at Al's shirt.

Al nodded dumbly and lifted his arms to allow the girl to pull off the offending article. Kiku sat back for a moment and stared. She wasn't sure what she was expecting. The last time she saw him shirtless he was chubby and well, looked like what you'd expect for someone who gamed and snacked all the time. She wasn't expecting lean muscle and sun-kissed skin.

“When did, I mean,...wow.” Al looked confused before looking at himself in understanding.

“Oh, yeah, I uh, got a little self-conscious towards the end of high school. Wanted to do better for myself, impress the ladies and stuff y'know. Did, did it work?”

Kiku smiled and held the blondes face in her hands . He was a prideful guy. Always was. Boastful and cocksure for as long as she knew him. She never thought that he'd ever take someone's words so serious. Kiku kissed him gently.

“I am indeed impressed...I always was impressed. You changed yourself for your health and that's amazing, but...I've had a crush on you since we were sophomores Alfred. I don't need to be impressed by anything, I'm attracted to you in any form.”

Al looked heart-stuck. He was playing with her but her unbidden praise caught him off track.

“Woah, Kiku, I-” Kiku pressed a finger to his lips.

“I...I've been wanting this for years, Al, please.”

Kiku raised her arms. Al caught on quickly and lifted the crumpled tank top off. Fuck, oh fuccckkk, Al felt like he got the wind knocked out of him. She had nothing underneath the shirt. She was sitting there in all her glory. Pale, glowing and untouched. She was perfect. Soft around the edges. Airbrushed and pink.

“Holy shit.”

Kiku giggled and kind of covered herself awkwardly with her arm. Al frowned and tried to soother her arms down. The did and she pushed out her chest slightly as she did so. Alfred wanted to believe she was doing it on purpose. She leaned back on her hands, back curving forward towards Alfred's hands. Alfred locked eyes with her to get some sort of permission. Kiku smiled . Al tentatively reached out and barely touched the soft swell of her breast. She shuddered slightly but said nothing. Al took it up a notch and cupped both of her breasts. She wasn't bursting at the shirt seams by no means like a lot of the other girls they knew, but it was her. She might've had a smaller cup size, but, Alfred was enjoying himself. Boobs are boobs. And hers, hers were so so soft. They were soft and warm and Kiku began to react so nicely to him. She began to moan softly and move into the hands as they kneaded into her flesh. Playing with her nipples teasingly through his fingers. He pinched and twisted the hard pink nubs between his thumbs and forefingers. Kiku gasped and groaned.

Alfred moaned quietly. He was feeding off all her delicious reactions. Kiku grasped one of Als hands and bucked her hips. Without the pillow she had nothing to find purchase on as he assaulted her chest. Every reaction set him further on fire. Each gasp and cut off whine pushed him farther up the wall. Her pale porcelain skin was worked to a deep blush by his hands.

It wasn't enough

He leaned forward and took one of the dusky pink nipples into his mouth. Kiku squeaked in surprise. He swirled his tongue around the nub, occasionally teasing it in between his teeth. Kiku whined and threaded her long fingers into Alfred's hair, gripping it tightly when he began to really bite. He bit into the plush soft skin of her breast. He bit her collar bones and sucked. He bit her neck, working her into a frenzy. He didn't stop until she was covered in spots and she was limp and spazzing in his arms.

“Al, Alfred.”

“A-Ah? Sorry I got carried away Ki-” Kiku pressed her finger back to his lips. It lingers this time though, tracing his puffy wet lips, and teased the seam of his mouth.

“I, I would be embarrassing for me, if I was done in by just this.” Al looked lost once more before he laughed in realization and crashed down on the woman in a crushing hug.

Kiku squealed and laughed. They held each other in a sweet embrace. Their hands mirroring each other as they traced the segments of each other's spines, feeling every indent and groove. She could feel his heartbeat against her breast, could feel how hot his skin was, could feel his arousal a breath away from her own.

“Kiku, if that wasn't an invite, holy shit, I don't know what is. Did you mean that? Could I make you…? Just by kissing and biting you?”

Kiku nodded and Alfred groaned against her throat.

“Alfred,” Kiku breathed against the shell of his ear. “Aren't there other ‘parts’ you'd rather pay attention to?” Kiku pulled herself away.

She guided the hand from her back around her chest and lead it down her stomach and back up to the inside of her thighs. Stopping inches away from her heat. She looked up at Al from under her eyelashes and let go, hoping Al caught on. A noiseless ‘oh’ passed through Alfred's lips. He bit his bottom lip and continued up the inside of the brunettes warm thigh. Kiku shook gently as she opened her thighs to accommodate Al's body mass as he moved closer. Al choked on a held breath as he brushed his fingers against the lips of Kikus sex. Her hips lurched up toward the fleeting touch.

“Holy shit Kiku. Your-You’re so hot, “ Alfred crawled a little bit closer and pressed his thumb against Kikus clit. Kiku hips bucked up and she choked out a moan. “So, so fucking hot.” Al whispered.

His breath was hot against Kikus ear. Al pressed his thumb down more and moved it in a circular motion. Kiku fell back onto her hands and threw her head back. Alfred had to hold back a groan as he saw one of his best friends rock up against his hand.

Hundreds of emotions gushed to the surface. He wanted to, had to give this woman every bit of pleasure she deserved.

He removed his thumb. Kiku mewled for a moment before Alfred slid a finger inside her. Both moaned at the sensation. His fingers were thicker than hers and she was tight. Tight, soft, and so much hotter than he'd ever imagined.

“Oh, oh fuck, Kiku. You're so tight.”

Alfred pushed his finger deeper and wiggled it slightly. Kiku moaned out a gasp and wrapped her arm vice-like around his shoulder. She used or tried to use, the position to rut down against his hand. Alfred was enthralled, so enthralled in fact that up until this point he had neglected his own arousal. It was brought back to his attention when Kiku bumped his crotch with her knee while she was moving about. Alfred hissed and was now violently aware of his erection, as was Kiku now. Purposely this time she slid her knee against his groin. This position had her straddling his knee while awkwardly trying to keep his fingers inside of her. Alfred found it endearing as well as extremely hot. Even if it was awkward and unsatisfying.

The blonde pushed his index finger along his middle finger. Kiku grunted, voice pitching into a quiet scream when Alfred scissored his fingers apart.

“A-al~.” Kiku moaned breathlessly and clutched helplessly at the blonde's shoulders.

Al's erection was borderline painful as it strained against the clothes he still had on.

Kiku was shuddering and thrusting her hips wildly, keen on fucking herself open on his hand. Her back arched and she gripped Al's wrist in an attempt to ground herself. The action stopped Alfred From moving his anymore and slowed her hips to a near halt.

“What? Did I do something wrong?: Al quickly tried to withdraw his hand. Kiku laughed and smiled.

“No, no, not the case at all Alfred.” Kiku smiled bashfully. Her eyes wandered downwards before shooting to somewhere else.

“Hm?” Al tilted his head, “Ohhhhh,” He laughed and leaned back. “Ready for the beast I see?” He proclaimed in flagrant mock boistery.

Kiku tried and failed to suppress the surge of laughter that bubbled out of her chest. Al laughed along with her. It felt natural. Laughing naked and breaths apart. When the laughter stopped and silence fell over them again a much more comfortable air surrounded them.

Kiku wrapped her arms back around Alfred's neck and pecked the blond's cheek.

“Yes, I am,” Kiku giggled. “I am ready for the ‘beast’.”

Alfred was bursting at the seams with joy. She was perfect. She was perfect in every way. He kissed her. He kissed her with every ounce of passion he had to show. Kiku keened and reciprocated as such. With one hand holding him up he pulled down the last remaining piece of clothes between them. He sighed against Kikus lips as his erection was finally released. The girl returned the pleasant sigh when she felt his sex slide against hers.

“P, Please Al.”

Alfred held his composure the best he could as he breached Kikus insides. Her arms back were drawn taut and her fingers dug into his back like vulture claws. Alfred was a restrained pent up mess. Kiku was purring, her body humming and tight with excitement as he pressed all the way in. Alfred was losing his mind. He had to wait. He had to give her the time to adjust. The heat, the heat and the tightness, almost like a vice, was driving him quickly insane.

Kiku, sweet Kiku was so beautiful and enrapturing. She was barely recognizable. A whole new person unfolding themselves to him. He ran his hands across her back and kissed her throat until he felt her arms fall slack.

“Are, are you-?” Alfred began to ask tentatively, choking on each word that passed his lips.

“Yes!” Kiku shouted, momentarily scaring Al. “Yes, yes,” She repeated, hurried and quietly into the skin of his neck.

Heat rushed to the blondes head. He felt light headed. He, maybe too eagerly, pulled near all the way out before quickly thrusting back in. Kiku squealed and Alfred mumbled apologies under his breath. She felt so good, too good. He paused, fearing he was close to losing his composure and then again pulled back to start a steady and slow pace. Kiku made quiet noises and arched into Alfred's chest like a cat.

He could feel her heartbeat against his chest. Beating wildly like a hummingbird's wings. She moaned softly, quietly, breathlessly into the junction of his neck and shoulder. Her breath was hot and uneven. She was warm putty molding against his body, she fit him like a puzzle piece. He had never felt so complete. He leaned back so she could control the speed and tempo, he couldn't be trusted not to lose himself in her. Also, this way he could focus on touching her without the worry of dropping or misplacing her. Kiku took the freedom immediately and found that the new angle allowed her to take the blonde even deeper than before.

“Fuck! Kiku,” Alfred groaned. Kiku was picking up the pace. Her voice got louder the faster she went. Alfred grabbed handfuls of her ass to help her keep up the pace. “God, Kiku, Kiku, you're so hot. So fucking hot.” Alfred rambled

Kiku threw her head back again and Alfred followed. He bit and licked, in varying degrees to gauge her reactions. Anything that was able to leave a mark drove the brunette crazy.

“So, so fucking beautiful.”

Alfred off balanced Kikus pace with his own. Kiku didn't seem to pay it much mind thought. She was more focused on losing herself in his embrace. He wrapped one arm back around her to pull her back against his chest.

“I always thought so. Ffuucckk.” He cried out. “ you're so tight, so wet,” He paused to hastily and sloppily shove his tongue into Kikus mouth. “I love you Kiku, love you so much.”

Kiku moans and laughs, giddy, between breaths.

“I love you, I l-love you too Alfred,” Kiku attempted a more refined kiss, with fail. “You, y-you feel,” Kiku bit her lip on particularly sharp thrust. “You feel s-so good.” Kiku whimpered breathlessly.

It was said so cutely, almost shyly and full of such pure raw emotion.

Alfred felt his dick throb, positive that Kiku felt it too. Kiku ran her fingers through Alfred's blond hair, pulling softly as she did so. Alfred hisses and bucks up harshly. When she accidentally pulls too hard both moan loudly. They shared a knowing look, asking each other what they already knew. Kiku tested the waters and pulled his hair harder. In return Alfred tilted his head back with her hands, eyes closed an mouth open and agape. She continues pulling, spurred on by the rough moans coming from deep in Alfred's chest. He grapples at Kikus back as his thrust grow progressively wilder.

“I'm, I'm, cl-close Kiku. I, I-” Alfred cried out, frantic.

“O-on me.” it was barely audible.

“W-what?” Alfred slowed in confusion.

“On me, c-come on me.” Kiku repeated louder. She dug her fingers deeper into his scalp and slapped her ass against his hips brutally.

“Fuck!” Alfred nearly screamed.

He pulled the woman up and off him as quickly as his orgasm ripped through his body. The line of white hit Kikus stomach. Kiku didn't have a chance to recuperate as she was toppled by the large body man.

She was about to question what he was doing but when her mouth opened all that came out was a high pitch squeal. Alfred had three fingers immediately insider her, pistoning as fast as he could go. The other hand was spreading cum across her torso lewdly. Kiku gasps and hides her face in her hands. She feels Alfred's breath ghost over her breast before wet warmth envelopes it.

“A-Alfred, slow down.”

“No, I want to see you, want to see you come Kiku. I want to see you come on my hand. Come on Kiku, don't you hear how wet you are? Come, please.”

To emphasize his point he speeds up. The obscene noises coming from her own body made her head swirl. Kiku screams as a jizz covered hand strokes her clit in tempo with the fingers inside her. Her body runs tight as her orgasm brutally overtakes her. Her body is rod straight and jittery when it finally passes.

A moment passes. Nothing but the sound of their panting and deep breathing. Both of them were breathing sporadically, dazed, shuddering and sated. Kiku finally moves her hands and lets her body down to the floor. She caught the blonde gazing down at her pointedly. She became very aware of how she must look and felt very self-conscious about being naked and trashed in front of her crush. Boyfriend? It was hard to say. Things had moved in very rapid succession in the last hour.

“Alfred, you're staring.” Kiku mumbled. Alfred snapped out of his reverie and looked up at the ceiling. His face and neck broke out in a red flush.

“Ah, sorry, you just uh,” Alfred glanced down. “Oh shit, you're just uh,” He runs a hand through his sweat-drenched hair. “You just look, so freaking hot. I'm trying not to uh, to get hard again.” Alfred laughed awkwardly.

Kiku looked down at herself again and kind of laughed. She supposed she did indeed look a little provocative. She crossed her ankles and leaned back on her elbows to gaze up at the blonde.

“I get that same feeling when you look at me like that.” Alfred blushed and covered his face.

He laughed and sat down on the hardwood floor.

“Gosh, how are you a real person.”

Kiku laughed and picked herself up into a sitting position. She grabbed the nearby forgotten comforter and wrapped it around herself.

“Better?”

“Nah, cuz I know what's under there now. Know what all the good stuff looks and feels like and what not.” Alfred joked and winked.

Kiku smiled and pulled the blonde into the cocoon of the comforter.

“We have a lot of time to catch up on these things,” Kiku got up and pulled the other to the bed, laying down and taking the other with her. “But you need a moment yes?” Al smiles.

“Just me?”

“Ah, yes, I could use a minute or two. My legs are still shaking.” Kiku giggled.

The two laid next to each other, wrapped around themselves, silently drinking in each others warmth. It was like that until Kiku couldn't take it any longer. A question pressed to the forefront of her mind, insistent to make itself known.

“What….what are we now?” Alfred's face fell a bit.

“What..do you want us to be.”

“I love you, Alfred, I meant that. I would like to be with you.” Alfred let out a comic sigh

“Oh thank god,” He laughed loudly. “ I thought you were asking that because you might be having second thoughts or something.”

“Of course not.”

“Much better than those 2D guys right?” Kiku busted out in a loud laugh, before turning red and giggling to herself.

“Ahh, yes, of course, by a mile.” She leaned in to kiss him. No longer heated, shy, but filled with docile affection. Alfred's heart swelled. He kissed her forehead and held her tight. A 2nd round didn't happen, didn't need to. The two lulled off to sleep. Content, happy, and peaceful.

[borkasaurusrex]

(D·N·C) SEASON 1 | EPISODE 2 | "S&S"

With a high-pitched Doo-Doo! a pair of double doors swung open, and a tall, brunette teen strolled into the establishment, taking in all the atmosphere... and mediocrity.

Well, mostly that second one.

The shop was mainly white and gray, royal blues accenting the corners and farthest wall away from the entrance. Shelves, of both the wall-mounted and in-the-middle-of-everything sorts were scattered about, said shelves chock full of containers colored green, blue, and other similar schemes. Judging by the signs above each cabinet (Xbox Classics, PS3 New Arrivals, PC Exclusives, etc), they were video games.

Axel took a little stroll through the section labeled 'PC Exclusives', eyes grazing the colorful selections and dramatic (often lewd) promotional art  next to the bigger displays. He looked up and down, left and right, sideways and longways... but he never reached out to any of the boxes, didn't even lean in for a closer look. He didn't do anything... but sigh.

"Can I help you, sir?"

Axel whipped his head around, towards an older man that, if he didn't know any better, would've thought was Adam Savage. Said man was tall, slim, blonde hair cut and glasses propped in almost a perfect replica of the Mythbusters (arguable) frontman. Judging by his pale blue uniform, nametag, and fake grin, he probably worked at the store.

Axel smiled weakly back, stammering, "Uh... nah, I'm okay. Just... just browsing."

"'Just browsing', huh?" the employee repeated. "Well, what kind of stuff are you browsing for? Anything specific?"

"Not really," Axel said. "It's just... with school started up and all... and homework being... well... homework, I'm trying to find something to..."

"Tide you over?" The man suggested. "Distract yourself from the monotony and boredom that is the American school system?"

"... Yeah. Pretty much."

"Well, we've got you covered!" The fellow craned his head over the aisle, eyes scanning the selections all squinty like... until, with a low "Aha!" he said, "Black Ops 3's coming out in a few months, maybe you want to pre-order that?"

"A few months?" Axel echoed. "I was kind of hoping for something..."

"Now?" The employee finished. Axel nodded.

"In that case, we have Evolve, the Witcher, Battlefield: Hardline..." the man continued, looking down at Axel. "... Still nothing?"

"Maybe something a little less popular? Something... indie?" He went on, "Y'know, like Undertale, Life is Strange, Pillars of Eternity, Swords & Sorcerers... that kind of - "

"Wait... what was that last one?"

"What? Swords & Sorcerers?" the guy repeated. "Surely you've heard of it."

"I... I don't think so," Axel said.

"Well, it's a MMORPG, see? Like... Guild Wars, or Everquest. You know Everquest?"

"I didn't understand anything you just said in the last five seconds."

"Well... uh... how can I explain this?" The man turned up his brows, obviously thinking. "Think of... uh... oh! World Of Warcraft! You've gotta know what that is at least, right?"

"Isn't that, like, a movie?"

"Okay, well, before it was a movie, it was a video game! A wonderful, powerful, incredible video game that had more fetch quests than I have friends.

"But... Swords & Sorcerers, S & S, it's like WOW... but, like... a Banjo Kazoolian times better! Everything better, from the art design, the aesthetic, the ASS-stetics... yknow, it has it all: swords... sorcerers... uh... servers, anything you could want. And it's free, too!"

Axel's eyes widened at that. "It's free?"

"Pretty much! Or... well, until you hit level 10, in which case it's just a... well, small fee..."

"... How long does it take to reach that?"

"Five minutes."

Upon seeing Axel's face, the man quickly stammered, "But it's not even that much money, if you think about it. $39.00... why, I... uh... spend more than that on condoms every day!

"That... that was a lie... but it's not the point!" He continued, "For such an exciting and enticing adventure... what's wrong with giving the company a little "tip" once and a while, huh? Like, so what if it costs almost half a Benjamin to unlock the 2nd area, or twice that for the next? So what if it you gotta fork over a little dough to sprint, or to get something better than the starting pants? It's all worth it, really, in the end. It... this game - nay, experience - is  a phenomenon, a fucking legacy-in-the-making. It's amazing, a truly original miracle of modern art!"

Axel looked up at him oddly, the edges of his lips in a pretty clear frown. "I... I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."

"No sarcasm, all truth!" The bespectacled employee said. "I assure you: this game will be the single most fantastical, addicting experience in your entire (possibly disappointingly short) life, or my name isn't Marvey!"

Axel's eyes traced down to the man's nametag. It said 'John'.

"Come on, kid. Whadd'ya say, huh?"

"..."

"...!"

"... Fine. I'll try it out."

"Excellent! I'll ring you up, over there." He pointed to the front of the shop, near the suspiciously cluttered cashier counter. "Do you want to purchase the eight DLC that come with the game too? Only $89.99!"

"Eight DLC? Really?"

"Well, nine technically, but since you missed out on the exclusive pre-order DLC when the game was announced, you're going to have to settle with that... or, uh... you could hypothetically buy it, but it'll be a bit pricey. $30.00."

"$30.00? On top of the other, what, sixty?" Axel asked.

"Ninety, actually," the man said, "Don't think I'll give you a discount, now.

"But... look, you can just buy the base game, I guess, but..." he sighed, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "You'll be missing out... on the whole experience."

Axel paused, mulling thoughts over in his head while the employee just stood there, rapping his fingernails on the counter impatiently.

"Well, what's it gonna be, kid?" He asked.

Axel turned to him, shifting his jaws as if tasting his words first.

Finally, he said, "... Fine. I'll take it."

"Awesome sauce! Here, let me package it all for you..." The man pulled several discs from under the counter, wrapping them together, grinning all the while. "A ha ha... and they say capitalism doesn't work! Heh, idiots!"

~-~

Axel rolled the game case between his hands, feeling the course plastic against his skin. He stopped playing with the box and instead held it up, getting a good look at its front. The cover art was minimalistic, the silhouettes of a heavily armored man, a robbed guy with a beard, and a woman with a bow, a boobplate, and not much else stood in heroic poses, under an almost cheesy medieval font reading "SWORDS AND SORCERERS".

Axel's eyes grazed around idly, connecting with the stack of papers (homework, most likely) on the desk below him, next to a surprisingly clean all-in-one PC.

His eyes went to the homework... then the computer. And back to the homework again.

I should do my homework first... He thought, placing the plastic case on the desk lightly. Then maybe I could... uh... play for an hour... or two...

He reached out to a mechanical pencil, at the edge of the desk... but stopped.

He looked back to the computer, and the game besides it.

His eyes furrowed, looking down at the box desperately.

"..."

"... Maybe just one quick game..."

~-~

Ding-Dong!  

Mr. ElRite slipped right off the edge of his loveseat, smashing his face hard into the carpet below - and his finger, on the remote, shutting off the fleshy tones and moans from the TV above.

"... Uh... coming!" He shouted, pulling himself - and his pants - up to his knees at a rapid pace. He jumped to his feet, making his way quickly across his rather plain living room. It was... nice. Warm colors, pale reds and browns, made up most of the area with the occasional family portrait or window interrupting the flow of the wall. It was nice. Very plain... but nice.

Mr. ElRite stopped in front of the front door. No decorations at all, not even a different paint job. Just a clothes hanger, and an empty one at that. He leaned up against said hanger, slicked a few strands of hair behind his ear, and pulled the doorknob open.

The light from outside, not even that strong (due to the cloudy sky above) was like staring directly in the sun for the older man, and he squinted his eyes in as if staring into Ra's gaping man-beak itself.

Standing on his doorstep was a teenage girl. She was wearing a burgundy hoodie, her long red hair tucked neatly under a beanie. Her skin was pale, her eyes a particularly bright enough shade of amber they almost looked yellow. Mr. ElRite had to look twice to make sure they weren't.

But yet... he recognized her. She was...

"- Oh! You're, uh, one of Axel's pals, right?" He asked. "Uh... Anna, right? Or Ana?"

She huffed out a sigh. "... Evanna."

"Oh, right! You're Seelig's daughter! Well, uh, I was close at least! Ha ha... ha..." He coughed, clearing his throat. "So... uh... what can I do for ya, Evanna?"

"Is Axel home? He hasn't been to school in... well, ages."

"Oh yeah, he is! He's... he's in the study right now, actually."

"..."

"... Can I see him?"

"Oh, of course! Come... uh, come right in!" Mr. ElRite took a step to the side, leaving the clearing open. "Do you want anything? Refreshments, perhaps?"

"Some tea would be great," Evanna said, closing the door behind her.

"Uh... is Diet Coke okay?"

Evanna pulled her hoodie off, revealing a band t-shirt with more pentagrams and guys with makeup on than Mr. ElRite's usually comfortable with. She brushed back some spare hairs, giving him a surprisingly condescending look for someone 15. "Hrmph... I guess..."

"Alrighty... I'll... uh... get that for you." He walked away, turning around a corner and shouting, "Oh, the study's at the end of the hall... to the left! Just make yourself comfy, okay?"

She didn't respond. After a low slam! from the corner Mr. ElRite turned around was any indicator, she was now probably alone.

Without wasting another moment, Evanna walked down the hall at a slow pace, using her spare hand to feel the grooves and bumps of the nearby wall.

"Jesus Christ..." She whispered, squinting her eyes. "Is it always this sodding dark?"

She made her way down, the hallway becoming even somehow darker as she went on. She took a couple of steps forward tentatively, about to pick up her pace until she banged her shoulder hard. She slipped a "Shit!" out under her breath, rubbing the shoulder gently. She turned her head towards the object she hit, her eyes adjusted to the dark enough by now to recognize the silhouette of a door. She grabbed the edge and swung it open, taking a step inside.

The room was incredibly shadowed, so dark it was near impossible to make anything out at all. There was a faint silhouette of a desk, a bookshelf. Maybe two. This wasn't just regular darkness.

It was advanced darkness.

Evanna's traced the surface of the wall, trying to find a switch, a button, anything. She fidgeted a bit farther, feeling a slight changed texture until she hit her knee, a sharp pain rocketing down her calf like a waterfall. She cursed again, loud.

"... Where is that bloody...?" She muttered, stopping when she felt some kind of switch under her fingertips. She flicked it up.

Bright yellow light exploded into the room, flooding the entirety and even outside into the hall. Evanna squinted her eyes hard at the sudden rays from above, gritting her teeth from surprise.

She wasn't the only one in the room who was surprised.

"JUMPIN'-FUCKING-JAHOSAFATS, I'M BLIND! I'M BLIIIIIND!" With a loud Crash! the office chair in front of the desk smashed onto the floor, its sitter spilling onto the carpet like an overly moist Greek yogurt.

He covered his eyes with both hands, curling into a ball on the floor whole muttering over and over under his breath, "I'm blind... blind... bliiind..."

"... Axel? Are you... uh... okay? Evanna reached a hand down, towards her whimpering friend. Upon touching his arm he let out a literal hiss, clamoring forward onto the fallen over chair and curling up inside, like a wounded animal into their cage.

To say Evanna was weirded out would be an understatement.

"... Uh... Axel?" She stepped forward carefully, making sure to not get too close. "You...uh... okay, mate?"

"It's... so bright..."

"Compared to before? Uh yeah, it is..." Evanna craned her head, seeing the bright colors and scantily clad women from on the nearby computer screen. "What... uh... have you been doing?"

"... What?"

"What. Are. You. Doing?" She repeated.

"Oh. Uh... S & S. Y'know, Swords and Sorcerers?"

"... I've heard of it."

"Oh, Evanna, it's... it's so incredible, like oh my God, it's amazing..." Axel said, a blissful grin creeping up his lips. "The gameplay, the open world, the aesthetic, all of it. It's... it's the greatest game ever conceived by mortal men. Nay, after this, the men and women of Froststorm Games aren't just mortal... they're gods. Immortal."

"That sounds nice..." Evanna's bespectacled eyes glanced around the room, noticing empty wrappers and bottles littering the floor under the desk ahead. "Uh.. hey Axel?"

"Hmm?"

"How long have you been playing? S & S, I mean."

"Oh... uh, a couple hours I think?" He snatched his phone off the carpet, double checking the time. "Yeah, like... Maybe a few hours, I think. It can't be anymore than that."

"Why?" Evanna asked.

"I would know. I started playing at 2:30 today and now it's 4:47. And it's Sunday, anyway. I wouldn't miss school."

Evanna raised her eyebrows, like she was confused. "... But Axel, you did miss school."

"What? No I didn't."

"Yes, you did. I haven't seen you in at least a week, so I'm having trouble believing that you just conveniently forgot the ti - "

"A... a week? Axel echoed, grin quickly turning to a frown. "But... that's not possible. It's... it's still Sunday."

"Yeah, it's Sunday. A week later."

Axel's eyes were stuck on his phone screen, staring at the time as if in shock. He didn't say anything for a good moment.

Then, he whispered: "Crap."

"You should stop playing that game," Evanna said, "Maybe then you'd have a better grasp on reality."

"I... I do have a grasp on reality."

"You missed an entire week and didn't even notice it," She said, "I think you might be lying to yourself, mate."

"I am not!" Axel cried, slumping his weight upward to sit up. "You've taken a week off from school once, didn't you? Huh? What makes you any different?"

"I had pneumonia!"

"Pshuh..." Axel scoffed, crossing his arms. "Excuses, excuses..."

"Look Axel, you need help. And, if you're not gonna listen to me... then I'm not gonna waste any more of my time with you." Evanna turned back around the way she came, disappearing out of the doorway before Axel could even realize she just walked out on him.

"Alright, fine!" He shouted at the wall. "I... I don't need your help anyway! Unless you can somehow solve a Level 25 Apothecary Puzzle and get the loot before it despawns which... which I'm sure you can't! Suck on those lima beans and roast 'em!"

He looked down at his hands, them lightly shaking. In a tone barely louder than a whisper, he said, "I'm okay. Axel, you're okay. You don't have an addiction, it's just an...an obsession. That's all. An obsession, alright? You can quit, you can quit anytime you want. Anytime you need."

"..."

"... After one more puzzle."

-~-

" - so brace yourself, kiddos: pop quiz incoming."

Loud and long groans erupted everywhere, to which Mr. Davidson held up his hands defensively. "Hey hey... I know it blows, I do. But this is is state required, so... y'know, pretty dang important."

"Besides, it'll be easy..." He continued, taking a stack of freshly printed papers off his desk. "... if you've done the studying, that is."

Davidson's classroom was big. Bigger than your usual Midwestern high school classroom, anyway, who's thirty or so desks barely filled up half the room. Mr. Davidson gave a couple of sheets to the front of each row, the students  (begrudgingly) passing them to the student behind them, and the student behind them, and so on.

With sheets passing by him left and right, Axel ElRite wasn't paying much attention. Mainly because he was asleep.

From out of nowhere a sheet smacked against his face, the boy's bloodshot eyes shooting open, wide with surprise at first until he looked around.

Davidson classroom. Paper on desk.

'Lang. Arts 4B' the sheet read. 'Lesson 3 Pop Quiz'.

Wait.

Pop Quiz? Oh, crap in a hat.

Axel sighed, picking up a mechanical pencil and squeezing the rubber bit between his fingers.

It's okay, it's just a quiz, Axel thought to himself, loosening his grip. You've got this, man, you got thi -

... Wait, we're studying Austrian history? I thought it was Australian!

Ugh...  it's gonna be a long day...

-~-

"So... uh... how bad did you bomb it?" Weston asked.

Axel's mouth shifted into a hard frown. "Like... on a scale?"

"Yeah, a scale. On a scale of Family Feud hosts, ten being Steve Harvey - obviously - and zero being... uh, let's say Richie... how'd ya do?"

"... Louie Anderson."

"Oh. Shit."

Evanna peered from across the table, clearly confused. "Family Feud? What's that?"

Weston slammed his milk carton on the table, twisting his face into a look of disgust. "You don't know about the majesty, the awe, the sheer brilliance that is the 1976-to-present iconic staple of American history? Ugh, try reading a book sometime!"

"... Isn't it a sodding TV show?"

"Bah, whatever!"

The three students were sitting smack-dab at the end of the farthest (or closest, it depends) table in the Calcheri Valley High cafeteria. One that was the most empty of all six tables, and the most dirty. The two probably went hand in hand.

The cafeteria was like a photograph of high school mediocrity, beige tabletops and floors complimenting the faded reds and blues of the room's accents. Promotional posters of upcoming events and even corporate sponsors (if the large Dwayne Johnson 'Got Milk?' ad next to the garbage cans were anything to go on) were plastered on almost every wall, the entire room alive with the clunking of chairs, the laughter of children, and the faint despair from the nearby kitchens. How beautifully American.

Weston kicked up his sneakers on an empty chair which, well, wasn't hard. There were a lot around. He plunged his fork into a piece of broccoli on his tray, not eating it but just kinda squirming it around, like some sort of veg puppet. "Well, uh, anyway. How's uh... crap, what's that game called? Saints and... uh... no, Swigs and... oh fuck, dude, I don't know. What's that game you like called?"

"... Swords and Sorcerers?"

"Yeah, that's it! Swords & Sorcerers! You're uh... you really like that shit, huh?" Weston asked, digging the blades of his fork deeper into his branched victim.

"Well... I did," Axel said.

"You did?" Evanna asked, leaning up from her seat. "What happened? I thought you were  addicted or something."

"I wasn't addicted, Evanna. I just - "

"Yes, focusing your attention and entire life focus on a single game for 168 weeks - plus! - isn't addiction. Of course not, how foolish of me."

"Yeah, Eve," Weston said, "Don't be stupid,"

She sighed, fingers tight around the nose of her glasses like a facepalm. Weston snickered.

"Look, it doesn't matter anyway," Axel said, "I'm away from it now, like completely."

Evanna chuckled, to which Axel added, "I'm telling the truth! I can't... I can't even use it anymore anyway, so like... hey. That's that, right?"

"What happened?" Weston asked. "You banned or somethin'?"

"Oh God I hope not... look it's... it's not that bad," Axel said, "I wasn't very careful, didn't lock my account good enough and I got hacked, it's no - "

"You got hacked? Seriously?" Evanna asked.

"Seriously. They must of figured out my info or something, I don't know, but now I'm locked out for good," Axel said, "It's... well, it sucks, really."

"What are you gonna do 'bout it?" Weston asked. "Track down the hacker, find their city, job, all of it, and blow them the fuck up?"

"What? No, I wouldn't do that," Axel answered, frowning. "I mean, who would?"

Evanna's eyes immediately went to Weston, who just cleared his throat in reply.

"So what are you really going to do about it, hmm?"

"Well, since I can't get my account back, not easily anyway, I thought I might as well tell a couple of my friends in-game about what happened," Axel explained, "I was the leader a pretty big guild in S&S - they're like, uh, special teams - and if the hacker uses that for their own gain, it can get... uh, messy. So I wanted to clear my name, before they ruin it."

"Cool, Ax. Cool." Weston took a nibble of his destroyed broccoli, asking, "So... how ya goin' to tell them the biz? Facebook? Instagram? Dare I say... MySpace?"

"I have some phone numbers, actually, of some of the other higher-ups in our guild," Axel answered. "I wasn't very close to some of them but there was one, the guy directly below me actually, that I've already called and asked to meet me... like, in person. We're meeting today around... 1:00, I think? I dunno, it's a short day anyway today so I thought - "

"Wait... 1:00? That's in eight minutes," Evanna said.

"Crap in a hat!" Axel cried, clenching his fists. "But I... even if I leave like right now, it'll take me like thirty minutes to get there! So, well, unless the bus is running today, but even then that's like twelve minutes to get there, and considering I don't even have any freaking money I - "

"Dude, here. I'll drive ya," Weston said, "No problemo."

"Really?! But... you don't have your licence yet."

"The cops don't know that."

"Well, I..."

"C'mon dude, it's me! Y'know, Weston, your best buddy? The greatest friend in the whole-freakin'-world? No offense, of course."

"Some taken," Evanna said.

"Well?" Weston leaned close to Axel's face, waiting with (literal) bated breath.

"... Okay. Fine."

"Whooo! A'ight, let's go boy! No time to waste!" Weston practically scooped Axel out of the seat, the far smaller man carrying his friend bridal style across the crowded lunch hall, wailing "WHOOOOOOO!!" at the top of his lungs.

Evanna sighed, taking a sip from a straw. "You'd think I'd have better friends by now. You'd think. You'd think..."

-~-

"He's late. He's not gonna show."

"Give him a second, jeez," Axel said "He's just a couple of minutes late, that's all... give the man a little time."

"Alright, fine..." Weston grumbled.

"..."

"... He's not gonna show."

"Oh, brother."

The two sat in silence, the faint wind brushing through the area was hitting Weston the worst, him constantly smoothing out any knocked-out-of-place hairs on what parts of his cornrows his beanie didn't cover. The two boys were sat (somewhat) comfortably on a wide metal bench, a couple of passersby and a winding array of aging, crusting antique stores their background. There was also a tree, small but sturdy to their right. It was the only flora for what seemed like miles. Hell, probably more.

Weston shifted himself to Axel's side, propping his elbow up and saying, "Look, Ax. If this kid doesn't show up in, like, three seconds, I'm gonna shit."

"Please don't actually do that."

"It's a figure of speech, y'know? Like... eating your hat. Or fucking a truck. Or fucking the milkman."

"I've never heard of any of those things."

"You will." Weston looked deep into Axel's eyes, adding, "Trust me. You will."

"But seriously," Weston said, "If this turns out to be a scam or somethin', I swear I'll fu - "

"Wait! There he is!" Axel pointed forward where, walking off the nearby crosswalk was a tall figure, obscured by a long coat and hat. "There, with the velvet coat and everything!"

"Uh, Ax... I think that's a drug dealer."

"No, it's the guy. The same coat, the same hat... everything's the same as he said it was going to be."

"Alright, fine... but if you get a dimebag we're going halfsies on it, a'ight?" As the coated man approached Weston put his hand on Axel's shoulder, adding, "I'll... uh... let you guys catch up. Later."

Weston jumped off the bench, walking off and disappearing into the oncoming crowds. Axel stood as the man approached, saying in almost a whisper, "PolkaDot1108?"

The man nodded. "LongJacket02?" He asked, putting a weird emphasis on 2, as if shaken.

"Yep, that's me. Is there something wrong?"

"It's just... I didn't expect the leader of the greatest clan in S&S to be... one of my students."

He took off his hat with one slow swoop, letting his long curly hair spill out into the world, along with his face.

It can't be, Axel thought, mind racing, There's no way that my raid partner could be...

It was Mr. Davidson.

The coated man, Mr. Davidson, let out a small sigh.

"Hey, Let's get a coffee or something..." his English teacher said. "You're going to want to be sitting down for this."

-~-

The only coffee shop for miles was a quiet little place called Smol Bean, owned by a couple of young'uns who somehow named their cafe after a meme and surprisingly no one's said anything about it. It was, as the title suggested pretty small, barely big enough to fit half a dozen tables into the shop. And, as the title also suggested, it had beans, or at least the smell of two day old coffee ones. The entire place was lit a little dim and, with practically everything being some shade of brown, black, or just straight up wood, it looked almost like a bar at times (if you squinted just the right way). As its owners were clear internet dwellers, pop culture posters and cutouts lines the corners and halls of the place, enough taped-down memes and movie posters the walls looked like a IRL version of a Tumblr dashboard.

Next to a particularly moist cardboard cutout of Danny DeVito was a single table, where Mr. Davidson and Axel sat across, sipping their various drinks. Axel had an espresso, two shots. Mr. Davidson had a drink that was so long Axel couldn't remember it to save his life.

Axel took a sip, almost cautiously, despite the drink already starting to get cold in his palms. "So... how's the guild going? Y'know, what's the status?"

"It's grim," Davidson replied, taking his own sip. "We've been losing raids left and right, the community mine's gone dry... hell, we've been losing our general resources pretty fast too. I had Pix track the goods back from who sold them and, well... he said it was you."

"I haven't played S&S in, like, a week. I... well, I got hacked," Axel said.

"You got hacked?" Davidson echoed. "Well... um... that definitely makes more sense now."

"What?" Axel asked. "Did... did something bad happen?"

"Well, not quite 'ruin your guild' bad so much as 'ruin your rep' bad but... you were flirting with Jogo, hard. Y'know, that annoying rogue who types way too quickly? You were flirting with her, talking dirty... you even sent her nudes, if you can believe it."

"Nudes? Of me?! How'd they get those?"

"I don't know but... damn. And now, looking back... crap, no wonder she was so freaked out," Davidson said. "If I saw an unfiltered of that under the bridge, I'd probably quit the guild too."

"Ha ha. Funny."

"But seriously, though. They, the fake you, has sold almost all our keeps, all of mounts... hell, he even sold Mr. Jibbles."

Axel looked at him, eyes wide in fear. "No, don't tell me... Mrs. Jibbles too?"

Davidson closed his eyes... and nodded. Axel groaned weakly, like a croak.

"So... do you know who hacked you?" Davidson asked, changing the subject. "Or an idea at least?"

"The only thing I have to go on is the account they linked with mine when they hacked me, but even then... it's completely blank, no name or nothing. Just a purple sugar skull as the icon. I know, it's weird."

"Huh. Well... if you really think about it..." Davidson said, leaning back in his chair, "... Maybe... maybe it's for the best."

"What? Not knowing who the hacker is?"

"No, being hacked in the first place. S&S, it's... it's ruining your life, Axel," Davidson said, "It's consuming all your time, your focus. School too. Hell, you were never very good in my class - nay, you were just straight up bad - "

"Thanks."

"- but even I can tell you that your life is going down a deep, deep Coachella porta potty, and no amount of chorizo mounts are going to get you out of this one, my friend," Davidson continued, "You've got this chance to let this game pass you by, to finally let you free of its addictive, addictive clutches. ElRite... this game was like a disease and your (probably) Mexican hacker your cure. Maybe... maybe it's for the best, you know?"

Axel didn't respond at first. He pondered, staring down at his drink in long thought. He did, however, look up at the English teacher across from him, and said, "... You know what? You're right. You're right, Mr. Davidson!"

"See? I didn't spend all my college funding for Yale on just potato latkes."

"... Potato latkes?"

"Axel, you have a chance to improve your life back to, no, better than what you had before," Davidson said, "Don't waste it."

"Don't worry, Mr. Davidson," Axel said, smiling wide. "I won't!"

-~-

Mr. Davidson's eyes traced the laptop screen in front of him, the bright golds and blues of S&S taking up most of his strangely erotic Yanni desktop. His little avatar, dressed in a long flowing white robe, walked around the cityscape, going from NPC to NPC to gather quests to gather things to gather experience.

I know, compelling stuff.

On the chat window to his bottom right the text was highlighted purple, reading 'GUILD CHAT' in bold letters while various members of the clan talked over a general box. In big white letters, a message popped up, saying:

 NOTICE: LONGJACKET02 HAS LOGGED IN

Davidson rolled his eyes, fingers about to pound a warning to the rest of the guild on his keyboard before another message popped up, reading large:

LONGJACKET02: HAHAHAA

LONGJACKET02: THAT FUCKTRUCK THOUGHT THEY COULD KEEP MY ACCOUNT FOREVER THEY DIDD THEY DID

LONGJACKET02: LITTLE DID THEY KNOW I HAD A SECRET WEAPON A PLAN B A TRUMPPP CARD

LONGJACKET02: PASSWORD RESET BIOTCHHHH

LONGJACKET02: HAHAHAHAHHA

LONGJACKET02: I LIVED BITCH

Davidson couldn't help it, he let out a long, deep sigh.

"Something the matter, Richard?" a teacher from behind him asked, strumming his hand idly on the table nearby.

Davidson didn't respond. He bend over in his chair, pulled open a drawer, and took out a bundle of papers. Nothing on it could be read coherently, except for a name printed in the corner: Axel ElRite. He crumbled the papers together, shoving them into the nearby trash bin.

"Whadd're ya... what are you doing with all those papers?" the teacher asked.

The English teacher couldn't help it. He sighed again.

"One of my student's school career is going down the fucking garbage. I'm just... giving him a head start."