#suicide ideation

[xunknownxbrokenxgodx]

they should invent a way that makes suicide fucking easy

[buckxtommy]

the thing is. bobby died in that fire. not in the traditional sense, but he did. a part of him is buried in minnesota, and they all know that. there is soil under athena and buck's fingernails from YEARS of trying so hard to dig him out, bring him back to life, but bobby knows it's just a rotten carcass they're trying to save. what are the amends he's made compared to the peaceful silence of six feet under without the voices in the back of his head? what are the confessions he made compared to the nights of unanswered prayers for his painful death? what is the ever growing hellfire he believes he's going to suffer through for the great sin of suicide compared to the fire that burned his whole family alive?

[keykidpilipili]

John: I don't want to kill Yellow! Could you imagine wanting to kill a part of yourself?!

Arthur fixated on killing Larson because of his own self hatred over Faroe's death: ........... No that would be crazy.

[sunlit-mess]

Silent prayer

[scissorcraft]

suicidal ideation needs to be checked on and monitored

[potatobugz]

im back to bugposting babyyyy

[latelyimanervouswreck]

Im thinking about suicide a lot these days

[iridescentpull]

TW: Suicidal Thoughts / Ideation (not graphic, but its there)

Sometimes I lie awake and think about Pac's night before the cure during the Happy Pills Arc. Because what the fuck was that?

The blood all around Chume Labs? The dimmed lights? The notes? The graves? The letter addressed to Mike that sounded suspiciously like a suicide note?

What happened that night? Did Pac go ice cold on the pills to work on the cure, causing heavy withdrawals? Did he experiment on himself? Did he genuinely believe his friends and family were dead, so he made them graves as a final goodbye? Did he stare at the pills, wondering what would happen if he downed all the pills at once? Did he think that finally, finally, he could sleep forever?

It keeps me up at night, cause Pac what the fuck happened that night?

[sgkjd]

me the minute i'm hit with over exhaustion: i need to die bc nobody needs me and im tired of pretending to be capable of being human

[studioboner]

[the-starlight-mistress]

Gravity Falls Final Test Au

Ok, so I’ve finally given in and made a gravity falls AU.

In this AU bill is nearing the end at his time at the Theraprism. Or at least, he should be. If he wants to actually get out of here he needs to pass one final test.

He gets to have a human body, go to the last place he was before admitted to the facility, and try to live a life showing he has changed.

If he doesn’t show any progress he’s sent back to Theraprism and has to continue his indefinite stay, anyone he’s made contact with get’s their mind wiped of his recent interaction, and any trouble he’s cause is reversed.

Will bill be able to handle it if he’s forgotten by another person?

It won’t come to that, he’ll just find the most normal person in gravity falls and follow their lead, then the whole stupid Pine family, and the stupid Axolotl will see that he’s not as obsessive as they all like to think he is.

Now then, the most normal person in gravity falls… what about this Tad Stange?

I’ll be keeping my log of “episodes” under the cut

All spoilers are in the tags

Episodes:

Prologue

Episode 1 "The Final Test"

Episode 2 "Tad Strange: he sure is"

[borderline-culture-is]

tw sui

bpd culture is wanting to attempt suicide again because last time he was so worried about me and it felt so damn good

- 🐈‍⬛🐾

.

[sunlit-mess]

The tiniest of hope to cling onto, just to get through another day

[fayewoods-2]

should just die

get it over with

youd all get over it

maybe aily wouldnt

shes unstable as it is

but as she once told me

i guess we'll meet in hell

[gray--abyss]

I wanted to figure out a likely timeline of Dan/Phantom/Whatever-his-name-is's spiral into evil, for writing him and stuff.

CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of suicide and themes of suicide starts below cut.

1. nasty patty incident

2. danny is grieving, but hopes for at least his parents to come back- after all, they had unfinished research, an obsession and thirst for knowledge. his justifications for how Sam, Tucker, and his sister would come back are flimsy, and he knows it. He can't stand the pitying looks from his former tormenters. His aunt, Alicia- not a gentle woman, but doing her best- comes out from the country to supervise him.

3. End of month 1: the funeral. Danny starts to grow more outwardly volatile, instead of directing his despair inward. He exchanges contact information with Vlad, and the two enter an uneasy truce as they enter closer contact.

4. After 6 months, he tries to tell Alicia about the half ghost thing, and she doesn't take it badly- but she admits that she doesn't know how to help with that. Danny isn't sure what he's been expecting, but it's not what he wants. He can't stand to be in Amity Park anymore, and asks Vlad and Alicia if he can move in with him. they both agree, and he moves in with Vlad.

5. month 7: Danny is miserable at this new school, in this new, empty house. He feels like a ghost here more than he ever has before. the fear and hatred he harbors towards Vlad has only amplified with the closer proximity, and the mans security measures certainly don't help. His hatred for himself grows, being too weak to save his family, too weak to tough things out in Amity while waiting for his family.

Content warnings apply below. I promise it's not All doom and gloom, but given it's Phantom... there's a lot of it.

6. Month 8: Danny decides that if his family doesn't come back, he will commit a kind of suicide, removing his ghost half, then his ghost half removing and dispatching Vlad's ghost half. He decides that 2 against 1 will be the best method, and that's where the idea of fusing with Vlad's ghost half comes in. After all, if either of them can kill their combined ghost, that'll be safer for everyone. One last "heroic" act. He just has to trick Vlad.

7. Month 10: Danny gives up, and executes on the plan. He's sick of wasting time being sad. Phantom doesn't want to die, and successfully kills Danny, and fails to kill Vlad. He doesn't realize Vlad didn't die in that explosion.

8. After the rush of revenge, Phantom feels really weird about it. It was only fair, Danny was going to kill him, but he realizes he didn't think through what it'd be like living as part Vlad. But hey- he doesn't have to juggle school, politics, or feigning humanity anymore. He can go keep an eye on his home now, and figure out how to spend his afterlife! He gets in contact with Alicia, letting her know a less... scary version of his suicide, and that he's going to be hanging around in Amity Park again. (... He still hasn't really given up on someone coming back.)

9. When he finally gets back to FentonWorks, he's furious to find his former schoolmates partying in his house, and nearly attacks them, but calms down just enough to only yell at them. He doesn't care about keeping things secret anymore, and lets the secret slip. He doesn't miss how their treatment of Phantom changes. He can almost accept this not-as-pitiful respect.

10. For the next 3 months (at 1 year 1 month post incident), he tries to protect Amity Park. He causes more property damage than before. He notes and tries to ignore his increased aggression, but after he actually injures Valerie, the only person left that he "trusts", he panics, and drops her off at the hospital. Enough is enough, and at a town hall meeting that he doesn't attend, they decide to bring in the feds to deal with the local phantom.

11. Upon FentonWorks being raided, he's furious. He's been protecting these people, and for what? This isn't fair! Phantom kills a few of the GIW, before making a declaration to the whole of town with a souped up megaphone he stole from the GIW: If they don't want his help, then he'll be what they think he is- just an another evil Phantom.

12. In the next 2 months, he causes mass chaos, but fails to cause much damage to GIW and the government. He's just one ghost, after all. He retreats into the ghost zone, and convinces Skulker to take him on as an apprentice. He does have fun hunting and fighting ghosts, after all, and it can help him hone and perfect techniques.

13. for the next 3 1/2 years (4 years 9 months post incident), Phantom almost entirely lives in the ghost zone, only traveling to the world of the living for special occasions. He's figured out how he wants to look by year 2 post incident- basically an idealized version of how he would've wanted to look as an adult. He sets out on his list of revenge, targeting ghosts and enemies that he feels have personally wronged him.

14. To graduate from his apprenticeship, he and Skulker have a hunt-off. Obviously, Phantom wins, and graduates. The hunt lasts 3 months. (5 years post incident)

15. This isn't to say Phantom had no social afterlife... with ghosts he was previously allied or friends with, he tried to keep those relationships. Wulf isn't about what he's up to, and distances himself to an acquaintance. Phantom parties with Dorathea, allies himself with Fright Knight, actually befriends Klemper for when he just needs a chill hangout, convinces Poindexter to help him in researching ghost stuff, and helps Bones babysit Youngblood, just for examples of relationships he has with canon ghosts. He's a combination of two very social and dramatic ghosts, so he's honestly kind of goofy when he's not being actively menacing.

16. He does not acknowledge the not-being-able-to-be-seen-by-adults thing that Youngblood has going on, deciding that he must be an adult at this point, and the fact that he can see Youngblood is a Fully Ghost thing. Youngblood thinks it's a bit he's doing and plays along- it is Not a fully Ghost Thing

17. He does some trial runs on attacking security companies and billionaires in the month before the next Incident Anniversary.

18. On the 5 year anniversary of the Nasty Patty Incident, Phantom launches a successful attack on the GIW, destroying their facilities. He begins razing USA government agencies and offices, because genuinely, they have been such a pain for him. He doesn't attack postal offices or bus systems. When other countries allied with the USA try to attack Phantom, he starts targeting them as well.

19. Something that... basically everyone but Phantom himself notices, is that the only average-people civilians he targets are people in Amity Park.

20. At year 6, the USA as we know it is gone- people still live there, the only places actually uninhabitable being former military bases, and a 50 mile radius around Amity Park. Phantom starts making a concerted, focused effort to attack Amity Park, starting an arms race between him and Valerie.

21. It's unnerving for Valerie to see how little he's changed, even with a shiny new coat of evil paint and an adult-ish appearance. She can't help but think it looks an awful lot like a superhero that Danny used to like.

22. At year 9, he decides that he's done all he's wanted, and that Valerie will be strong enough to kill him- so he plans one last fight with her- either he'll win, and be uncontested in strength... Or he'll lose, setting the balances of justice right once again. He's excited to see how strong she's gotten. ... Despite all he says, he hopes she'll win, and he'll get a "happy" ending, even if it isn't his.

[papier-ciseaux]

So my friend @phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing wrote this very good fanfic "Tessa, after" that I've been thinking about a lot. You should read it.