#but then again. i hate to upset people
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maybe i need to turn my monolgues (rants to myself in my room) into dialogues (expressing my annoyance)
#otherwise i end up misdirecting my frustration at#innocent bystanders who really didn't do the annoying thing#but then again. i hate to upset people#so here we are progressively more peeved#i hate feeling annoyed it goes against the temperament#that i try to cultivate#and then i wonder if i'm being unreasonable#but i am just. tired in this instance#the truth probably is somewhere in the middle#allie talks#i went from sad to angry in one shower who knew
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#psychonauts#gristol malik#theodore malik#<-Yeah. Hes there#psychonauts 2 spoiler#nightmaretheater#time on canvas: 8 hours#also YES this is psychonauts fanart. I prommy. Iii prommy. its gristol when he was younger#rips my hair out rips my eyes out#Hi Ugly. Points at him#travel back in time and take him away from his parents Okay#you will get my message#as much as i hate him i feel he must be understood at some level.#im not saying we should excuse or forgive him. No. We need to understand why he turned out like that#(its his parents (he only knows propaganda))#i have so much to say on the topic . i have been consumed by thoughts of him#kind of upsetting how the one guy with a cluster b personality disorder gets No Understanding in the Understanding Mentally Ill People game#<-once again. Not excusing his actions#also yeah sorry i had to unleash the rendering demons oops
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I think another thing I like about starscream, yet hate that the fandom fails to acknowledge about starscream is that, a lot of his rotten personality and his nastiness comes from way before he meets megatron and way before he was a deception.
That’s not to say that a lot of the ways he acts doesn't mirror megatron and the mistreatment he went through. and that impacts how starscream heals, makes friends, etc., idw - like what megatron did still badly affects him and that's not something to be ignored, and it's still not fair that he doesn't get the same happiness megatron did.
But, I think that people do tend to act as if Starscream was perfect and uncorrupt before Megatron.
That's not true...starscream was also a rotten, manipulative and bad person before that. and a lot of that was in response to how he was treated and hating his own body/existence, and the caste system, etc. We see how a lot of people in transformers react to oppression and I think starscream is such an interesting case of someone who is so angry and furious at the system he was created in that he takes it out on others yet still fights for himself and only himself. It is sad, and it’s awful to see how his own existence and the caste system does destroy him, but I think its important to note and to understand to just see how oppressed people still have to fight through their own oppression and sometimes, because of that, because of the trauma they go through, turn rotten. And Starscream did terrible, sneaky, and awful things. He did shitty things to climb to the top and he hurt those around him, he hurt people he trusted him, and he was happy to be that way. No one made him evil, manipulative, or untrustworthy, he did that on his own.
I don’t like that a lot of the fandom tends to tie Starsream’s negative and problematic behavior and personality to megatron because it also takes away from a lot of growth, agency and discussion about starscream’s personality and why he is the way he is.
He wasn’t a perfect, innocent and shy person before he met megatron, or before he became a deception. He still did awful things and while becoming a deception was a way he could grow past the system that created him, he still did very much do so for power. Starscream was an ambitious yet a morally ambiguous person before megatron and he had to be to survive in his own mind. His life wasn’t perfect and happy before megatron, he was still fighting and he was still scheming to survive.
I really don’t like how people kind of take that away from him, and act like everything he does and every shitty way he acts is *because* of megatron. I know it’s not fun to have to admit that he wasn’t a good person before megatron met him, but I think it’s necessary to understand his character, and not a lot of people do. And when you don’t do that, you have people misinterpreting his character and being genuinely shocked when he does villainous things. Like for instance, sky bound starscream’s actions shock a lot of people because they don’t think that he is a villain - I remember a lot of ES critique is that earthspark starscream doesn’t need a redemption act- he just needs people to love and accept him. And I think you guys forgot that he was also a space fascist and enjoyed killing people on his own accord. And while megatron himself does impact how starscream acts and treats others - starscream still was an extremely problematic person eons before he met megatron.
I don’t think this negates just how badly Megatron’s treatment fucked him up, and made it so that it was difficult for him to form relationships even after, or find happiness. And I think that’s just something that cannot be ignored. But I also think starscream is more interesting as a character if the fandom acknowledged that he was this way before, that he wasn’t perfect or innocent, and that he reacted that way because he was unhappy with is life, his station, his caste, etc.
this also isn't a chance to come and try to excuse how megatron treated him, so pls don't do that on here.
#i remember looking at an earthspark video and it's like 'starscream does bad things but none of it is his fault because of meg-'#and im like 'nooooo'#it's okay for people to acknolwedge that he was 'bad' to begin with#i don't know how we as a fandom got to the point where they convinced themselves he wasn't a villain#and when you tie EVERYTHING he does to his time with megs#then you invalidate him#he is more than than his relationship with megs (also not saying his name bcos i don't want it to end up in his tag)#like it makes me so upset when fans tie everything he does to him#and it's like they are afraid to admit that he is evil and highly problematic#and in many ways just like megs BEFORE he met him#because you guys again - think a victim can only be one way#it's insulting#starscream#transformers#also sorry for the slurry of unpopular starscream opinions#i just hate how i feel that his character is only allowed to be seen s *one* way
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Guys can we start tagging negativity with #911 negativity or #discourse or alike? Not to devalue anyones opinions, that’s fair, but I’d like to be able to filter negativity out.
#and listen you’re ALLOWED to be upset#you’re allowed to have things you hate/don’t like#BUT I scroll my dash and one after an other is just about why the show is bad#and I’m not even saying you’re wrong or anything but the negativity really bums me out#and I’d like to be able to scroll and not see it#is that fair?#once again I have no problem with the posts themselves#you’re allowed to have feelings#I get angry and mad too#but#I just don’t wanna see it all the time#this is not about any group in particular#this is just in general#I know people have been disappointed with episodes lately#and SAME but also I love this show and just wanna bask in the positive stuff#so can we tag it?#911 abc#911 fandom#discourse#911 discourse#911 negativity
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#can i yap for a moment#im extremely sleepy but im feeling very upset and mad and confused#also lowkey questioning whether me feeling all that is justified or if i am overreacting#anyway#made out w a boy tonight#and he wanted to go to his place#and i was like no i wanna stay and dance with my girlies#and he gets upset??#asking why i'd kiss him if i don't wanna hook up and i said i just wanna have fun?#made me feel so stupid#that anger in me led to a little fight with another boy (who was unfortunately very cute) and i just wanted to punch him#i just hate when boys think they're so superior#so i argued with this stupid but hot man#until an ex? friend shows up and he was pretty drunk just yapping about things#anyway he basically told me he'd like to rekindle our friendship#but not in a heyy haven't talked in so long let's meet up again#it was in a heyy let's hang out again got a new big car and moved out of my parent's house 😋#which gave me the ick bc that's why we aren't friends anymore and i told him no multiple times#and got sad bc he was one of my closest friends#anyway and then we left the party#this guy pulls me aside the parking lot#and i was so embarrassed bc there were so many people and they were all looking and i could already see people gossiping about it#and i just wanted to die#and then he just CONFESSES??#gives me flowers and all which is saur saur cute#but i legit have zero feelings for him </3#and have commitment issues and have never been in a relationship and don't wanna be in one#actually grosses me out thinking about relationships </3#the confession was so random and i kinda lost another friendship? even tho i wouldn't rlly consider him a friend we just share sum classes#but yeah boys are so stupid and confusing and i dunno how and why i get myself into these situations :') m sorry just needed to rant </3
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I love that Cosmo and Wanda have separate beds yeah I could never share a bed every single day for the rest of my life. Besides, Cosmo wanted a race car bed!!!!!! It's not fair for him not to have a bed he loves and it's not fair for Wanda and her princess bed either! They're literally magic anyway.
#plus that just means they get to choose when to sleep in the same bed like a sleepover#when they want to be close!!!!! and still have the things that make them happy!#separate beds are marriage savers trust me Ive dated two people in my life#but fr I have two blankets whenever I share a bed for whatever reason everyone gets to be happy and warm or cool or weighted listen#AND LISTEN AGAIN THEM CHOOSING THEY WANT TO FALL ASLEEP TEGETHER#cosmo loves wandas princess bed too he just also needs his race care bed#hi thtis was spurred on by a screenshot from A New Wish where they poof to hazel in the middle of the night and theyre in two beds#boring standard beds but in the OG series they had fun beds and I like to think they just need/prefer different things to sleep#anyway. they love each other. even when they didnt really like each other in the og they werent in separate beds because they were upset#i also refuse to acknowledge the absollute amount of spousal hate in the og series. justice for wanda and justgice for cosmo but in the way#that he would#NEVER SAY THAT TO HIS WIFE.#fairly oddparents
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New movie inspired me to put my two cents in on this trope.
#transformers#maccadam#maccadams#optimus prime#megatron#call me crazy but if a 'friend' turned out to be a genocidal arsehole i wouldn't still hold out hope of a friendship with them#i'd be upset i was ever friends with such an asshole#but no this kinda 'story' always seems to end up with some “oooh the drama they miss each other” type junk#but honestly I think it'd be FAR funnier and better if only Megatron pined for Optimus's friendship again#but OP was just “lol no you killed thousands of people for your own sick pleasure/gain I hate you”
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people will be like i hate taash because they're sooo immature, unlike my babygirl pookie bear emmrich 😍 who told on them to his boss 🫡 because they called him a skull fucker death mage 😤 which is not nice 😡 and hurt his feelings 😢 he is 55 🥵
#i'm not saying emmrich isn't right to be irritated#but they're both being dicks in that scene#like how many times does taash need to say they don't like necromancy before he stops talking about it to them?#if i was to be as uncharitable as taash haters are i'd say he's doing it on purpose to upset them#and then when they've finally had enough and lash he's like 'omg calm down it's not that serious'#which is obviously not what's happening but anyone can be interpreted as an immature asshole if you choose to read them that way#not emmrich hate btw it's just the example i see cited most often#taash is in their early-mid 20s according to trick weekes and the way ya'll try to make me feel weird for romancing a character who's my age#by insisting they must be a teenager because of shit like this#while simultaneously crying that people are calling emmrich old is so lame and dumb#and is clearly founded in a beautiful misogyny/ableist combo because of their autistic traits#anyway rant over i just get annoyed#not about anyone in particular which i feel the need to say so i don't wake up to hate posts about me again
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I love c!Techno so much, I love how he grows across the story, I love how he's one of the only characters who has canonically said "I was wrong" and tried to actually learn from his actions and be a better person, I love how he's too paranoid to trust anybody but still gives to others so freely, I love how he's so loyal to anybody who shows him even a shred of kindness, I love how he is strong and capable and not afraid of showing it, I love how it has made him unable to express vulnerability but he still tries to, I love how he canonically has PTSD, I love how he has a service animal, I love how Techno is the first to think the world is cruel and yet he's also the first to be kind to animals or even people for no reason, I love him, I love him, I love him
#and I hate how he's not allowed to have feelings or be upset about things#because when he's upset and it's aimed at the fandoms scrungly people pretend he's in the wrong#even though HE WAS LITERALLY FUCKING HURT AND BETRAYED BY THEM TOO#but I guess when it happens to the scrungly it's sad but if it happens to techno he needs to suck it up#yes this is about a bad c!tommy take i saw again#thoughts#technoblade
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once again rambling about five and lila because i’m fucking pissed. enjoy
“five and lila were perfect for each other because they had so much in common” yet so many perfect couples have absolutely nothing in common???
they could relate to each other in ways that made them hate each other and that’s why they were SUCH good foil characters, i don’t understand why the romance had to be necessary.
there is absolutely no reason that this romance plotline should’ve been created. it was so ridiculously off-focus from what the plot was (AND should have been) and it literally only made the season so much worse.
do writers understand that not every single character has to fall in love with one another? i mean genuinely?
personally i don’t believe five is aro (though he could be ace) because i can’t help but love five’s love for delores (even if she wasn’t real) but i completely understand five aroace truthers because he truly can be independent romantically as we saw in the show.
i cannot wrap my fucking head around the fact that the writers saw two awesome, dynamic, badass characters with arcs and goals outside of love and attention and decided to turn their personalities inside out and upside down for a dumbass dead-end romance that makes zero sense.
five and lila were the only two people on god’s green earth who could understand each other and hated the other for it. why couldn’t they just be frenemies and call it a day?
god fucking damn it i’m so upset
shoutout to 13 year old 58 year old five hating lila and 29 year old lila despising the fuck out of little five !!! <3
fuck you to the worst, most nonsensical couple of all time and space ❌❌
#it is once again hating five x lila hours#you know what the worst part is?#seeing five in love was fucking beautiful#i didn’t even hate that part#yknow who would’ve been a better character for him to fall in love with?#LITERALLY. ANYONE. ELSE.#lila was just there and they decided that her entire arc this season could become ‘‘woman 2 men fight over’’#hey assholes#this is LILA WE ARE TALKING ABOUT#literally one of if not the most badass woman in the show#and her entire plotline became ‘‘desperate housewife in need of romance with a man that isn’t her husband ’’#here’s a personal letter for each and every writer of the umbrella academy season 4:#fuck you#sorry this might be really agressive out of nowhere#and i feel like most people have already calmed down about this for the majority#but sometimes i see a five x lila post that just pisses me off so badly that i need to rant all over again. i’m so upset#someone sedate me please#tua s4 hater !!!!!!!#laur says stuff#laur rambles#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#number five hargreaves#tua five#number five#five hargreeves#tua s4#tua season 4#lila pitts
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with a few minutes' reflection and a second conversation with my parents I have realized that I may have overblown things and overreacted a bit and also in some ways they're correct even if I think they're also harsh about it
#we talked it out. i don't think they intended to be hurtful they're just trying to make me see how badly my pessimism#can impact others?? I think all three of us were pissed off during the first conversation#there's a lot of other stuff going on behind the scenes too that I don't want to talk about#but like. my parents aren't total jerks. when we aren't all being belligerent to each other we get along quite well#and I really do respect them quite a lot. some days we Do Not do well at Being A Good Family though#my dad did say that he's seen people apparently cringe away from me when I'm acting annoyed though#which... may honestly be true. I have a very readable face and if I'm upset people tend to notice#I just... I talked to them again and realized that I took that one thing to mean ''everyone hates you and is just pretending to be nice''#idk if I agree about what my mom says about me bringing a Vibe that brings the whole room down#I think that one may just be because she's so used to me complaining to her about everything bc I... do actually complain too much#but anyway. we resolved the argument. my initial ''my parents told me everyone dislikes me'' was uh... MY inference#and not actually the words they said#I also think I should stop complaining online so much. it's just letting the complaining spirit grow#re: my last post
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Buck and Maddie's relationship is one of the most interesting on the show to me personally.
She was nine, she lost her brother and gained a new one and suddenly she's not just an older sister, she's a parent too. She's nine years old and someone's Mother. While not being allowed to properly grieve the brother she just lost. Not even allowed to acknowledge his existence.
And of course she did the best she could, but she was a child raising another child. No parent has all the answers, but especially not a CHILD who never asked to have this put on them. So she of course got things wrong. One that really sticks out is her explanation about their parents worry when Evan falls off his bike. She kinda put the idea in his head that getting hurt is what will get him that love he craves from their parents. And that was NOT her fault. She was 12. And also living in this abusive household. But she was the one that gave him the idea to continue hurting himself to get attention. And there are likely other things that he learned from her that weren't actually healthy, due to her being a child trying to learn about the world herself.
And when she left for Boston, that would definitely feel like a parental abandonment for Evan due to her being the only parental figure he ever really had. But it WASN'T. It was a 19 year old moving out and going to School, which is what a lot of people that age tend to do. But to Evan, it would feel like the only parent he's ever known leaving him. And logically he'd know that's not the case. She's NOT his mother, she's his sister and she's supposed to live her life and she never asked to raise a child at such a young age. He was NOT her responsibility. But emotionally? That's the start of his abandonment issues.
And it's why Maddie can be kinda overbearing with him at times too. (Especially after the lightning strike...) It was ingrained in her from the age of nine that he's her kid and she has to take care of him. So as soon as she sees him suffering in any way, those instincts come back full force. She's gotta take care of him, make sure he's not going to die while she's not looking. AND make it clear she's not leaving him again.
They've had to figure out how to go from the relationship they had as kids where she was more a parent than a sister, to a new one now that they're adults where they're siblings.
And that's gotta be tough. And I would love more of a focus on that really. Just them still kinda adjusting to having to have this new dynamic. Because logically they both are aware that Maddie having to raise Buck was messed up and unfair for them both. But it's also just what's normal to them.
And any time someone comes for Maddie about not being a good sister it makes my blood boil. SHE DOES HER BEST! She was a child raising a child, and she's now an adult who went through abuse for pretty much her entire life! First the neglect from her parents (plus the parentification) and then her marriage to Doug for like 15 years! Of course she's not perfect. And as much as they both love each other, they ARE BOTH part of each others traumas. For Maddie a big trauma for her was having to raise him, and for Buck a big trauma for him was her leaving. And they've managed to work through that for the most part. It's always going to be there, they're both very defining for each of them. For Maddie having to become a parent at such a young age made her feel as though she couldn't be a very good one due to not being a perfect parent AS A CHILD. And for Buck, Maddie leaving was definitely the start of his abandonment issues. And neither of them are at fault for that, but they both have these issues that are directly tied to each other. It all comes back to their parents though. If they'd just done their jobs as parents, things would be so different.
Some of this may not make much sense as it is very hot here right now and I am not thinking right. But you get what I mean, hopefully. 🤣
I would also like to add to Supernatural fans, you can not claim Dean Winchester is just the best brother in the world for raising Sam and then turn around and claim Maddie is a terrible sister. Especially as Dean could be very abusive at times...
#911 abc#evan buckley#maddie buckley#buckley siblings#anti dean winchester#just to be safe#just at the end there#it just pisses me off#i see so much praise for dean and then so much hate for maddie#i am also not a huge fan of the dean and buck comparisons#sorry for somehow managing to turn this into a dean winchesteer hate post#i've just completely gone off his character#and now that i've gotten started i can't stop#seriously not for dean winchester fans#dni if this angers you#please#i'm ranting#i kinda wanna make a post about why those comparisons upset me#i can't be the only one...#sorry again#just focus on the buck and maddie of it all#that's what this post was supposed to be about#i got way off topic#i would delete all the other tags#but i'm kinda interested in what people have to say
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It's hard being someone who does genuinely get infuriated with Ford's actions and acknowledges a lot of his flaws and the people he hurt, while also liking (and relating) to his character enough that I would like him to have nice things sometimes and don't believe he's satan
#hes not my favorite guy#but i keep having to defend him because every time people talk about him its like “YEAH HES A SHITBAG WHO WANTS TO WATCH HIS BROTHER DIE”#“HED PROBABLY LAUGH IN HIS FACE WHILE HE GETS MAULED BY TIGERS”#when i was reading the fanfic O Brother I too thought he was being overly cruel to poor Stanley (in a way that made sense not an ooc way)#but then he like found out the deity that was his entire life was lying to him and that he hurt people#and that he no longer can SLEEP because hell hurt people again#and he has to figure out the impossible answer of what to do while everyone is upset and untrusting of him#and his best and only friend barely can LOOK at him#and all the comments are like “YEAH THIS IS WHAT HE DESERVES!!! FUCK YOU STANFORD”#meanwhile im over here like “oh my god thats so fucking awful!!! i feel so bad!!!”#like he genuinely has NO ONE right then thats fucking awful#its Jonathan Sims all over again except even the AUDIENCE hates him and like?????? please hes just misguided he does NOT deserve this#stanford pines#ford pines#gravity falls#again let me clarify HES NOT EVEN MY FAVORITE GUY#i obsess over him occasionally but im a Stanley defender through and through AND YET#i keep having to say “guys. hes not as bad as you guys think. and Stan isn't as GOOD as you guys think. GUYS. PLEASE.”#it truly is interesting how different focuses on characters influence the audiences perspective of them SO MUCH#because ngl remember how i mentioned J Sims?#i really feel like Jon and Ford are similar#meddled with deities they didn’t understand. had paranoid tendencies. isolated themselves often. had selfish tendencies.#often rude and abrasive but also had a heart#and again the audience LOVES Jon and hates characters for disliking him#but this audience (which probably is the same people too lol) hate Ford and feel vindicated when characters dislike him
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Don't you love it when you get back into your childhood hyper-fixation that you remember very fondly as an adult and realize how fucking depressing the actual story is now that you have the capacity to understand it beyond cool fighting and characters, humor, and awesome friendships?
#bleach#ichigo kurosaki#bleach 686#every analysis I see makes me more and more upset#why does literally everyone in this story suck#how did Kubo make such dynamic characters only to slowly crush their souls more and more until we get the most unsatisfying ending EVER#I keep trying to get back into the manga/anime but I feel like a pit forms in my stomach every time I try to#I love the characters dearly but oh my god#the relationships and the way most of the characters interact just grates at my nerves#like every few months I'll read like twenty chapter of the manga#get back into the fandom#read some analysis#and then I'll start dislking it all over again#I need a happy ending#i need a better ending#please Kubo#I need the hell arc to completely dismantle the soul society and the whole world as they know it#I NEED CHANGE#I hate the regressing and stagnation of the soul society#I need them to be overthrown#I need the characters I love to become antagonists all over again#I need Ichigo to be enemies with the soul society again#i need rebellion#I need the soul society to be the greatest evil again because in the end#they are the source of nearly ALL the problems Ichigo and co. face in canon#I'm so tired of them being the lesser evil#I need them to fall apart#I need the characters to have genuinely good endings where they are happy rather than regressing back into the people they were at the star#of the story or even worse turning into the ppl they had sworn they would never become
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Can I be mega autistic here and vent for a second and ask if anyone else is lowkey scared for whatever the next RE game is HSBWHDNDJ
#having hyperfixations/special interests combined with a PARALYSING fear of change SUUUUUCKSSS MAAAAANN. IT SUCKS ASS#like realistically I KNOW it’s silly and I KNOW I’ve got nothing to stress over BUT ITS STRESSING ME OUT BAD AND THERES NOTHING I CAN DO#RE4R/Luis has been SUCH a massive comfort of mine and turned into a full blown special interest and I guess the thing I’m most scared of is#the fandom moving on and forgetting abt re4r/luis as a whole which again I KNOW is silly but I can’t control my brain!!!!#and also combined with the fact that Luis probably isn’t coming back to the franchise at least anytime soon is HEARTBREAKING man. like thats#my special interest!! that’s the thing I’ve poured hours of my time into!!!!! I’m scared to see people move on#he’s already a fairly unpopular character in the wider fandom too!! and the fact that the content we do have of him is ALL we’re gonna have?#I dunno that makes me so much more stressed out and anxious than I should be which. again. I KNOOOOOOWW IS SILLY BUT I CANT HELP IT MAN#THE AUTISM!! THE AUTISMMMMM#I dunno I’m expecting Capcom to announce their next game this summer fest and it’s genuinely stressing me out sm which I hate#I hate being so afraid of change it sucks so much man#anyways sorry for the massive vent I just had to get this off my chest cuz it’s been weighing me down massively and making me more anxious#than it has any right to BCNDNENDJXJ#and again the fact that there’s a solid chance we may never see him again at lest not anytime soon is so so so so so devastating to me it#again makes me so much more upset than it has any right to HDNSHENDJDJ#not to mention people who are already weirdly mean and nasty to people who DO like him. I’m Not having a Time rn
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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