#i just hate how i feel that his character is only allowed to be seen s *one* way

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Welcome back to the debate! 

I feel you, you know my personal views on some scenes of the finale. I usually prefer to keep the negativity to myself because “Rings of Power” already has enough haters as it is. But yes, I do think they showed us Gil-galad's concerned expression for a reason, too. And it did remind me of Elrond in 1x08 (and the setup of his feud with Galadriel in Season 2).

Besides, we know Gil-galad also has visions of what’s to come (cortesy of Vilya); this was confirmed in 2x02, in his conversation with Galadriel, and the fandom even joked he saw dead fish, while Galadriel saw “Hot Sauron”. 

Perhaps Gil-galad had a vision we, the audience, are yet to find out about, and that's what explains his worried look.  

I know you didn’t mean the stabbing = punishment (alone), because I’m familiar with your views. However, I thought you might have thrown that idea in there because I’ve seen other fans speculating about this angle (without any other motivation, like blood binding): “Sauron stabbed Galadriel because he wanted to punish or straight-out kill her”. Usually the “killing” part; this is a very popular idea among the overall “Rings of Power” fandom, and even in the Haladriel fandom some seem to share this idea. 

I agree with you on the “turn the knife into the wound” and the “Galadriel, look at me” ideas. However, the part where Sauron gets more brutal, and if blood binding theory is correct, I think it’s because Sauron believes it’s not working and they are not binding, because Galadriel is clearly resisting and talking about his masterplan of world domination in negative terms.

And Sauron self-deceives himself, too, and has this picture perfect idea of what his plan looks like and the end result of it. Like he says to Celebrimbor, in 2x07: "I see the end, Celebrimbor. So clearly. I have seen it from the moment I awoke. But his end, it was different from mine. For what he wished to destroy, I wished... to perfect". And I think he definitely showed Galadriel this via their bond, to persuade her into joining him.

We can’t forget Sauron's motivations in healing and rebuilding Middle-earth are genuine, at this point of his character arc. He truly wants to accomplish this.

I think he did want to share his powers with Galadriel, yes. I already replied this to another fellow fan: Sauron talked about this in 1x08. “You bind me to the light, and I bind you to power.” This clearly implies he would transfer some of his power onto her during blood binding, because Adar told us in 1x05 “only blood can bind”, and Sauron was holding Finrod’s dagger in his first proposal scene:

The question here is: why on earth would Galadriel ever allow herself to be stabbed by that thing, voluntarily? Because that’s what Sauron wants, and why he carries Morgoth’s crown around, on his hand (and not on his head, for example). And he tells her “the door is still open” (for her to join him and bind herself to him).  

Yes, he was showing off his power and domination because he wanted Galadriel to see just how powerful he truly is, and how she’s no match for his power. I already talked about this here, and Charlie said something similar in one of his interviews, as well.  This was him being petty, yes, but also him saying “look at the power I could give you” or “you think you are powerful? Join me if you want true power.” 

By giving her his power, Sauron wanted to make “something” out of Galadriel. I already proposed this, but he might have wanted her to be some sort of Witch Queen not-of-Angmar; and this can either mean a leader or a follower. Except Galadriel is a natural born leader, and Sauron is natural born follower, so I don’t know how this dynamic would play out in the long term, because Sauron is not the dominant one on his dynamic with Galadriel (and I think he both loves and hates this).  

We can look at Saruman example: he joined Sauron because he was planning on taking the One ring for himself, and take Sauron’s place. Saruman is a Maia (formerly of Aulë. too). So while Saruman appeared to be a servant or a follower of Sauron, he actually wasn’t because he had hidden motives. I think this would be the same with Galadriel, and she would usurp Sauron’s place. This is pretty much the temptation the One offers her thousands of years later: In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. I know you don't want to talk about "what ifs", but I think this is revelant to what we are talking about.

I mean “blood binding” is synonymous of “blood oath” because it’s pretty much the same: two beings who are bound together by blood, and can’t act against each other, probably not even harm one another. It doesn’t necessary mean “servitude” per say, but, in a way, it is.

Blood binding and Sauron’s intentions

My pal @rey-jake-therapist and I were in one of our usual friendly discussions about this topic in one of her posts, but since the theme digresses so much from her original intent and I’m pretty much spamming her OG post by now, we decided to move the debate to here, and invite the fandom to join in.

As customary, Rey always presents good and challenging counter-arguments to mine. Because it's possible to disagree and keep it civil and friendly. This is good fandom etiquette, and this is the point of debates, after all: sharing different ideas and perspectives on the same topic. We usually end up agreeing on disagreeing and it’s all good in the end.

What were Sauron’s intentions and goals in stabbing Galadriel with Morgoth’s crown in 2x08? 

2x01 / 2x08 parallels: “Only blood can bind.” (Adar; 1x05)

1) Binding/Enslaving Galadriel to his Will

Rey made the case for Sauron’s intention of possessing and dominating Galadriel using Morgoth’s crown. And that we should focus on present intentions, and not lose yourselves in “what if” scenarios (with this I totally agree, so, let's focus on the present time).

This theory states that Sauron wanted to enslave Galadriel to his will, by having her handing over Nenya, in submission. This would explain why Galadriel seemed “bewitched” while removing Nenya from her finger, and almost surrendering it to him.  

This means Sauron has “outgrown” his intentions from 1x08, when he wanted to serve Galadriel (due to his Maia nature; he was created to be a servant to a Vala). Now, he wants full power, and he’s not willing to share it with anyone else (Galadriel included):

Sauron only wants to dominate/possess Galadriel now: she humiliated him when she refused him in 1x08, he developed an obsession for her, so he punished her with physical pain (the stabbing), and attempted to possess her so she would follow him.

And so, if blood binding theory is true, this would work like the Nine and the Nazgûl, with Galadriel not only being a servant, but a slave to Sauron. This theory can also imply she would have, indeed, become a Ringwraith herself, as her soul was entering the Unseen world (“Shadow realm”) when Gil-galad and Arondir found her.

This is a very strong theory, and I think many fellow fans share this view, as well. Would it pass Sauron to do something like this? Absolutely not, and it would not be OCC for him to have this intention, at all.

So what’s my problem, you might ask?

This facial expression right here:

Unless Charlie was having a case of fatigue eyes due to extensive use of contact lenses (speaking from personal experience), there’s no explanation for Sauron getting all teared up when he believed Galadriel was about to join him, if his intention was to enslave her to his will, and that’s what he was doing here.

And no, Galadriel can’t deceive him. This is underestimating Sauron’s power: he’s the “great deceiver”, and only he can deceive himself, really. And if they are, indeed, blood bound, Galadriel couldn’t possibly hide anything from him. And I already made the case for how Galadriel was about to join him, freely, in another post.

2) “You bind me to the light, I bind you to power”

Speaking of Sauron’s intentions, we need to remember the creator of this character and what he says about him. Tolkien tells us (in Letters 131, 153 and 183) that “Annatar” still has “fair motives”: he’s a reformer who, truly, wants to rebuild/heal Middle-earth, and he’s genuine in this endeavor (nevermind his methods, that’s why he’s a villain). Rey counter-argumented this does not translate in a desire to serve Galadriel, and she’s correct.

However, what was his intention in 1x08?  

And if Sauron still has a genuine concern in healing Middle-earth, what if his intention with Morgoth’s crown was giving Galadriel his power, while harvesting her light for himself, just like he wanted in 1x08? And if this was his intention, why would he keep her soul “trapped” in the Unseen world? What if he wanted to make her queen of the Seen and Unseen world? Not a mere queen of Middle-earth, but as nearly as possible to a literal Goddess he could serve?

Because Sauron/Mairon can’t escape his nature, he was created to be a servant, a Maia to a Vala. And, right now, he doesn’t want to serve Morgoth. Even though he does it, unconsciously, and perhaps he recognized this after he killed Celebrimbor in a rage fit (something that’s completely OCC for him, because that’s not who he is; Sauron is a control freak, a mastermind).

This scene with Galadriel happened after that; and Sauron cried because, when he looked up at Celebrimbor, all he could see was Morgoth’s bounds on him reaching the surface. And that chaotic destruction is Morgoth, not Sauron. And he doesn't want that at this point on his character arc in Tolkien lore. I think this is when Sauron makes the decision to bind himself to Galadriel, one way or the other.

I absolutely disagree with the idea that Sauron stabbed Galadriel to punish her or kill her: if that was his true intention he would have used Morgoth sword (he was already using it in his duel with Galadriel the entire time), not a powerful dark magic object infused with own blood (because Adar used it to destroy his previous physical form), nor he would have carried that thing around the entire time while mentioning "binding" twice (“I never believed I could be... Until today. Fighting at your side, I... I felt... If I could just hold on to that feeling, keep it with me always, bind it to my very being, then I...” (1x06); “The door is still open”).

“Binding” (usually connected with “blood oaths”) and “enslaving” are two different kinds of blood magic. Because the Nine rings of power are pieces of jewelry meant to be worn by ring-bearers, with a small dosage of Sauron’s blood (along with other specific spells). Morgoth’s crown not only has a lot of Sauron’s blood on it, but we also don’t know what kind of dark magic it actually contains: we only know it was made to hold the Silmarils and it can destroy Sauron’s physical form (implying that, maybe, Sauron doesn’t have much control over this object?).

Sauron accidentally sharing his power with Galadriel is nonsense to me, as well. He's ancient, has been around since before the world existed (he helped create that very world), has been a master in blood magic and every sort of sorcery for thousands of years, and he’s one of the most powerful Maia in existence, but isn’t aware he would be giving Galadriel some of his power by binding himself to her? When he clearly mentions this in 1x08? "I bind you to power". Because Galadriel appears to be seeing the world in a whole new way in 2x08 epilogue (and even her eyes look off):

Besides, Galadriel is suppose to be a powerful sorceress of her own right in Tolkien lore, mastering several powers. In the legendarium Galadriel own power was amplified by Nenya, yes, but this isn’t the case in “Rings of Power”, because we haven’t seen her displaying any magical powers in Season 1. She won’t have any other powers in the show (besides healing and foresight/visions), completely cutting off with Tolkien legendarium? If the show keeps it true to the lore on that bit, where did her powers (look into others’ hearts and minds, and communicate telepathically) come from? Will they “magically” appear out of nowhere? When and how? But, if these powers came from Sauron it’s because he wanted it to happen, and that was his intention. And if that was his intention, what was his purpose with this if not to serve her?

And Sauron does share power: he does share his power with those he wants to enslave; via the rings of power. That’s why Celebrimbor tells him he’s their prisoner, and not their master. However, these are two very different kinds and degrees of magic. Because with the rings ("enslave") he can control how he wants it to go; while sharing his actual power with another living being ("blood oath") is uncontrollable. He can’t possible know the end result of it.

I know there’s a popular theory that Adar was blood bound to Sauron, but I don’t think so. Adar not only doesn't have any magical powers, but he wouldn’t be able to kill Sauron himself, if that was true. Blood binding is a blood oath, and it’s forever, unbreakable, and it prevents beings from harming or acting against one another (physically) in any direct way. That’s why “Rings of Power” introduced the clue that Sauron might be blood bound to Morgoth in 1x03; and that’s the reason he could never leave nor forsake his master even when he came to resent him.

This means, that, in "Rings of Power", Sauron, most likely, only has Morgoth as a reference to blood oaths. And he probably thinks this will go the same way with Galadriel, and he’ll keep her light to himself, allowing him to keep Morgoth at bay. Only her “light” is merely aesthetic, really. The light that shines on her hair and eyes is the light of the Two Trees of Valinor, and it shines on every Elf that was born during the Years of the Trees (and not only her). Because Galadriel is a complex and nuanced character, and ticking bomb that can turn dark at any minute.  

[cosmics-beings]

I think another thing I like about starscream, yet hate that the fandom fails to acknowledge about starscream is that, a lot of his rotten personality and his nastiness comes from way before he meets megatron and way before he was a deception.

That’s not to say that a lot of the ways he acts doesn't mirror megatron and the mistreatment he went through. and that impacts how starscream heals, makes friends, etc., idw - like what megatron did still badly affects him and that's not something to be ignored, and it's still not fair that he doesn't get the same happiness megatron did.

But, I think that people do tend to act as if Starscream was perfect and uncorrupt before Megatron.

That's not true...starscream was also a rotten, manipulative and bad person before that. and a lot of that was in response to how he was treated and hating his own body/existence, and the caste system, etc. We see how a lot of people in transformers react to oppression and I think starscream is such an interesting case of someone who is so angry and furious at the system he was created in that he takes it out on others yet still fights for himself and only himself. It is sad, and it’s awful to see how his own existence and the caste system does destroy him, but I think its important to note and to understand to just see how oppressed people still have to fight through their own oppression and sometimes, because of that, because of the trauma they go through, turn rotten. And Starscream did terrible, sneaky, and awful things. He did shitty things to climb to the top and he hurt those around him, he hurt people he trusted him, and he was happy to be that way. No one made him evil, manipulative, or untrustworthy, he did that on his own.

I don’t like that a lot of the fandom tends to tie Starsream’s negative and problematic behavior and personality to megatron because it also takes away from a lot of growth, agency and discussion about starscream’s personality and why he is the way he is.

He wasn’t a perfect, innocent and shy person before he met megatron, or before he became a deception. He still did awful things and while becoming a deception was a way he could grow past the system that created him, he still did very much do so for power. Starscream was an ambitious yet a morally ambiguous person before megatron and he had to be to survive in his own mind. His life wasn’t perfect and happy before megatron, he was still fighting and he was still scheming to survive.

I really don’t like how people kind of take that away from him, and act like everything he does and every shitty way he acts is *because* of megatron. I know it’s not fun to have to admit that he wasn’t a good person before megatron met him, but I think it’s necessary to understand his character, and not a lot of people do. And when you don’t do that, you have people misinterpreting his character and being genuinely shocked when he does villainous things. Like for instance, sky bound starscream’s actions shock a lot of people because they don’t think that he is a villain - I remember a lot of ES critique is that earthspark starscream doesn’t need a redemption act- he just needs people to love and accept him. And I think you guys forgot that he was also a space fascist and enjoyed killing people on his own accord. And while megatron himself does impact how starscream acts and treats others - starscream still was an extremely problematic person eons before he met megatron.

I don’t think this negates just how badly Megatron’s treatment fucked him up, and made it so that it was difficult for him to form relationships even after, or find happiness. And I think that’s just something that cannot be ignored. But I also think starscream is more interesting as a character if the fandom acknowledged that he was this way before, that he wasn’t perfect or innocent, and that he reacted that way because he was unhappy with is life, his station, his caste, etc.

this also isn't a chance to come and try to excuse how megatron treated him, so pls don't do that on here.

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears

I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!

The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.

More:

Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.

Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)

Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.

Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.

Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.

The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.

They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.

And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.

I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.

[running-in-the-dark]

I'm just sitting here mentally telling myself 'I don't have to like him just because I find him attractive, I don't have to like him just because he's hot, I don't have to like him just because I like the character' over and over until I start to believe it

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LADS Sylus: Just In Case | NSFW

This? This was supposed to be a fic inspired by how he has his middle and ring finger nails trimmed in his new outfit. And then somehow it turned into this? It still has the fingernail bit tho istg this is the Sylus fingering Reader in a Yurt fic.

❧ Pairings: Sylus x Reader ❧ Warnings: Jealousy, Self Doubt, Comfort, Words of Affirmation, Teasing, Hickeys, Nipple Biting, Fingers, Clothes Grinding, Coming in Pants, Top Sylus ❧ Synopsis: You hated the fact that you were jealous over something so trivial. Ever since traveling with the tribe, and seeing how they all swooned over Sylus, it was hard not to feel a certain way. Then there were the words Tarna has said to you: "Whoever takes them, keeps them." ❧ Word Count: 4.4k

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Sylus

Just In Case

It was already the second night that you had been in the Grasslands. You were exhausted from all the traveling you had done that day, and when you guys set up to stay the night, you had all but collapsed onto your bed roll. Your body ached from all the horseback riding you had done, but it wasn’t like it was unsatisfying. You had seen Sylus basically winning every challenge that came his way, not to mention the sweet gesture he had made when braiding your hair.

Tarna had tried to convince you to join the rest at the bonfire they had set up, but you had politely declined. Sylus, on the other hand, was a night owl. He had been more than happy to join in and had even tried getting you to join, to no avail. So he promised to rejoin you later when he got tired and let you head inside to rest.

The braid he gave you earlier had already been taken out as you laid down, curled up on your shared bed accommodation. You could still hear Sylus’ voice, speaking with some of the locals. Even if he didn’t speak their language, Tarna had been more than happy to translate. Not to mention, he just had a way of communicating with others without the need for words.

You could hear the laughter of some of the women, and flashes of them touching him went through your mind. You tried brushing them aside as you curled up deeper into your bed roll. Sylus was naturally a little more flirtatious, or at least that was your experience with him. You could only hope that demeanor wasn’t leading anyone on.

For just a moment, you even had doubts he’d be coming back to the same tent you were in. You knew Sylus wasn’t like that, but you could still have your own doubts and fears. Thankfully, those thoughts escaped as you heard the flaps of the yurt opening as Sylus came inside, along with the rustling of fabrics. He shed a few layers so he could sleep comfortably. “I thought you said you were tired, yet here you are, awake.” Sylus’ voice broke out in the small yurt and you rolled over just in time to watch him crawl in next to you.

At first, you weren’t planning on even deeming him with a reply to his little comment; maybe trying to fake being asleep would make him not talk. You made a bit of room, allowing him to have some of the blankets. Unlike the night before, you made no move in scooting closer to him. The words Tarna had spoken earlier played in your head like a bad record: “Whoever takes them, keeps them.”

Why did that bother you so much? It was clear that he had caught the eye of every single woman in the area; the way they whispered while watching him compete was enough to let you know. They made it obvious as well, one of them even going up to touch his arm and speak to him.

He had been cordial enough, but the self-doubt in your mind rolled through it like a dark storm. You and Sylus had made leaps and bounds in your relationship, but you hadn’t crossed the threshold of romance yet. Gods, you wanted to so badly. You just were too unsure about everything, and you hated that feeling. It wasn’t even like you needed to doubt Sylus. He had made it so painfully obvious he didn’t have eyes for anyone else other than you. He was just polite when the situation wasn’t business…teasing but polite.

You decided that the silence was too deafening at the moment as you spoke, “It was hard to sleep with all the noise outside,” you said, and Sylus hummed. He had already gotten comfortable, and you could sense the weariness from him. A second night of having to reassure you would be annoying, right? You kept your mouth shut, opting just to ignore the festering feelings in your gut since clearly that was a healthy decision.

“It seems it’s more than that, kitten,” He began, “You’re restless now. Don’t tell me your mind is causing you to stress again,” you felt his hand in your hair as he pushed some of it back. You didn’t even want to look at him right now, worried that you’d say something stupid. You couldn’t stop how your body responded, though, leaning into his touch like a cat.

“It’s nothing, really.” It was a flimsy excuse, judging by how your voice wavered. You hated the jealousy you felt, how it was settling into you to the point where you wanted to be sick. You didn’t think of yourself as the jealous type by any means, but here you were, absolutely upset over hypotheticals. You wanted to convince yourself just not to feel this way, but that was easier said than done as you were mentally screaming.

Sylus frowned, the look marring his pretty face slightly. You really did prefer it when he smiled, even if it was at your own expense. The teasing smirk you often found was at least focused on you and nobody else. “This is clearly something. I don’t think you’d be worried about making it home for two nights in a row,” he propped himself up into his elbow, looking at you, “My ears are always open for you, sweetie.”

Your heart began beating a little faster at his comment as you cleared your throat, “It’s…do you recall what Tarna said the day before?” you decide to test the waters and see if he recalled the information. You highly doubted the saying she taught you guys was on his mind; it shouldn’t have even been on yours.

“She said a lot of things; you’ll need to be more straightforward. What did she say that’s upsetting you?” He was speaking gently right now, making you feel even worse about your feelings. Why was he always so damn patient with you, always willing to reassure you even over something so trivial? When you first met Sylus, you had no clue that this side of him even existed, and it did things to you both physically and emotionally.

You cleared your throat, “Whoever takes them…keeps them.” You clarified, finally meeting his gaze, “That statement.” You could see the flash of recognition in his eyes when he realized what this was about. He had already seen your jealous side earlier by the river, but now it had only gotten worse. He had been nice about it back then, but would you only annoy him by bringing it up again? It’s not like you two were dating, even if you flirted and teased one another like it was some competition.

“Are you worried about that?” He asked, his hand tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “That someone is going to take me away?” he asked, and you sighed. He managed to figure it out quickly.

“I mean…I’ve just seen how the others have been looking at you,” like they were drawn to an oasis in a hot desert, “And you’re my ticket home after all…” You wanted to kick yourself the moment the words came out of your mouth. You just had to avoid telling him how you really felt, didn’t you?

He didn’t seem upset at the statement; if anything, he was amused. “I won’t be stolen away that easily.” He assured, “Though I must say I’m flattered that you’ve been keeping such a close eye on me today. So much so that you didn’t even realize that some of the men in the village have been giving you the same look.”

You had to take a moment to process what he said…people had been looking at you? There was no way. It made sense for Sylus, and he was charismatic, handsome, and strong. You were…well, you were a jealous hunter. You did recall how he had braided your hair and the way he had mentioned how only lovers should see their partner’s hair in its natural state…could it be he was jealous as well? No, you were probably overthinking things.

“I…” you said, but you couldn’t get the right words out. He had the tendency to make you speechless, and right now, it was no different. Everything you wanted to say had vanished right into the air as you looked up at those red eyes that were so damn soft at the moment. How could you even think he’d look at anyone else like this? Those sharp eyes of his looked lovestruck at times when it was just the two of you.

“If you’re truly worried, you can always lay a claim on me,” he suggested, and you flushed right away. Your eyes widened at every implication that could’ve meant. You buried your face in the pillow underneath you, now unable to meet his gaze for several reasons, “Kitten, look at me. What’s wrong? Don’t tell me your mind went to the gutter.” His voice was now teasing. Screw the gentle look he was giving you; now you knew for a fact his eyes were shining with amusement at your expense.

“Do you not listen to yourself?” you managed to hiss out the question. His chuckles filled your ears as you let out an embarrassed whine from the back of your throat. Why were you jealous of this man in the first place? He was horrible. A jerk face. Every mean name under the sun couldn’t begin to describe him when he was like this. Why did you like it? That was the real question.

“Well, now I’m curious about what you’re thinking. I was just going to say you could ride with me tomorrow, perhaps hold my arm during rests.” Lies, all of them, and now your mind was definitely in the trenches at him mentioning ‘riding’ of any kind. “What were you thinking?” he laughed again, and you let out an annoyed huff. He was egging you on, and it was working as per usual.

You sat up suddenly and turned to him, pushing on his chest until he was lying on his back. He let out a grunt, but he also had that shit-eating grin on his face as he looked up at you, waiting for your next move. You didn’t even know what your next move would be, honestly. Now that you were here, straddling the man’s waist, your mind was going almost completely blank, so you let your instincts take over.

You leaned down until your breath ghosted over his neck, placing a small kiss there before going in to suck on the skin. You felt him shifting underneath you as you marked him, doing your best to make it known that he was taken. Even if it was a small hickey, it might’ve been enough to get the others to back off, knowing exactly who shared a bed with him at night, who left a mark on his flawless skin.

When your lips finally parted, you could see the blooming mark on his skin. It was a light purple one right on his jugular, and while it wasn’t much, you doubted anyone would mistake it for anything else. Your fingers went over to touch the mark, admiring your handy work.

Sylus’ hand went up and pressed down on where you left the mark, and as a result pressed your own hand closer to him; his eyes curious and holding a hunger to them, “Oh, is that all? You know, people might just think I got a bruise from all the competing I did today. Sweetie, you might need to try a little harder than that.” He was still egging you on to get you to do exactly what he wanted.

Still, if he wanted to play this game, then so be it. You looked over his outfit and eyed something that, honestly, was the first thing you noticed when he had originally put it on. The little voice in the back of your head even supplied you with the fact that the outfit managed to look slutty on him, something you adored. Sadly, it was another reason why everyone else was eying him up and down all day. The man was well-built, and you knew why. You two had trained together, and after you were already tired, he continued on. You swore he had even managed to gain some new muscle recently.

You leaned down to his chest and glanced up at him quickly before deciding to just go all in. One of his nipples was exposed, and you were damn certain if you left a mark right there, nobody in their right mind would mistake it for a simple bruise. So you bit him, clamping down on his nipple, and, with your current position, you felt him rolling his hips up into you.

He let out a groan as you lapped at the bud in your mouth and pulled away, happy to see that there was a distinct mark where your teeth were. Your hand went over it gently, fingers barely touching him. You felt him roll his hips again in response and felt a warmth blooming in you when you felt something hard against your ass. You shouldn’t have been surprised that he was getting erect from this, hell if you were in his situation, you might’ve busted already.

“Think they’ll mistake this for an injury with your…competition today?” you asked with a satisfied smirk on your face. Sylus was looking at you for a moment, trying to process what you just did to him, and then you felt his hand on the back of your neck.

He grabbed you closer to him, and you let out a small gasp when his lips were on your throat. He was pushing down some of the garments you wore to give him access as he bit down on the skin there. You hissed at the sharp pain, realizing that, unlike you, he could commit.

As soon as he left that area of your neck, he went to the front of your throat, sucking a mark that bloomed under his lips. You were now the one who ground down onto his lap, feeling yourself growing wet as he pressed a small kiss there, “S-Sy, what are you…?” you managed to rasp out; you were already crumbling because of this man.

“You aren’t the only one who needs to lay claim to someone,” he said as he began marking another area of skin. It felt too good that you clamped a hand down over your mouth to muffle the noises, “I wasn’t a fan of the others looking at you as though you were available for them to take you. I do have a possessive streak, after all, kitten.”

He sucked a fourth mark; this one was right under your ear as you groaned, “Did you not want the others to hear you? I’m sure if they did, it would send a message loud and clear.” He rolled his hips back into you, making sure there was no mistake about precisely what he wanted to do right now.

“W-we’re guests, Sy,” you managed to get out, “We don’t want to make a scene.” And at the rate this was going, you were five seconds from pushing him back down and riding him until the sun came up. You could already imagine the dirty looks you’d get tomorrow morning from everyone who lost sleep due to your…activities.

“I guess you make a fair point,” he murmured as he let you go. Your entire neck was now covered in marks as you glared down at him. You could lie to him all you wanted, but inside, you felt a bit giddy. Knowing that the other women of the tribe would see you and just know it was Sylus who put the markings on you. You were almost tempted to leave even more on him, but he was already being nice and not pushing it. You doubted if you continued to tease him, he’d be okay with just going to bed after this. He’d do it, sure, but he might be a bit grumpy and…uncomfortable.

Still, you needed to hold yourself back for your own sanity. You carefully extracted yourself from him and rolled off to your side to face away from him. If he did anything else, you wouldn’t be able to hold back. You certainly had never fucked him, and from what you felt just now, he was…big. Riding a horse tomorrow would be a nightmare if he were to rail you right here and now. Still, if you were going to have sex, you’d rather it be back home where you wouldn’t need to cover up all your noises and didn’t need to worry about getting up the next day.

“Running away?” Sylus said as you heard the rustling of fabrics once more. He adjusted your head as he laid his arm out, allowing you to use it as a pillow. The rest of his body wrapped around you as he spooned you from behind, “After you started it, you’re now hiding. Adorable.” The way he all but whispered that into your ear had you shuddering.

“I just don’t think it’s the…place for that…” you said, hoping he’d read between the lines. Thankfully, it seemed he did, but you let out a gasp when you felt a gentle kiss on the back of your neck. He was driving you mad with his casual shows of affection; even cuddling you like this was making you yearn for something so much more.

“Of course, I understand,” he managed to murmur, “But will you be able to actually rest now, in this state?” his other hand trailed down to your stomach, pushing some of the fabric around as he continued trailing his hand further down until it was bunching at the long skirt you wore.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you muttered, a small shiver running down your spine as he began rolling the skirt up so he could press down on your bare thigh. His hand was so hot it felt like he was branding you with it.

He cupped the skin there, just trailing a hand over it as he spoke, “I need you to let me know if it’s alright to continue,” he said, clearly holding himself back. You could feel how your underwear clung to you, almost soaking through the fabric. Obviously, you wanted this, but would you be capable of keeping it together, and now that you are moaning so loud, the entire tribe could hear you? Fuck it, you could try.

“Just…just your hand,” you got out, and he chuckled. Sylus’ hand was now moving upwards without any hesitation, and now he had the green light to continue; he was intent on making the most of it. You felt the warmth of his palm cupping you through your underwear, and you held back a moan, instead biting down on your lip as his fingers trailed along the slick that coated them.

“You’ve managed to flatter me twice in one night,” he commented, pressing his fingers against your cunt and rubbing you through the layers, “I’m glad I have this effect on you though.” He was now finally pushing the underwear off to the side to give him access to your pussy. He trailed a finger over the slickness of your slit, barely pressing a finger into you. It hard you shuddering, almost begging him to just put them inside of you already.

Then you noticed the bluntness of his nails, which startled you as you thought for a moment. You swore up and down he had nails…didn’t he? Despite how turned on you were, the question was running through your head, “Sylus…when did you cut your nails?” you swore they weren’t short earlier.

He actually laughed at your statement, “Sweetie, you’re asking me this right as I’m about to be knuckle deep in you?” He asked, and you let out a small huff, “I have. You know I like to keep two of my nails trimmed…just in case.” You looked back at him with wide eyes. Before you could say anything, he was already reassuring you, “I did it for you, so don’t overthink it,” the moment the words came out, he sunk his fingers into your cunt.

Your mouth opened wide as a moan left you, and your cheeks felt flushed; at the angle, you had turned to, Sylus had a perfect view of it. You quickly moved your head away, nuzzling into the arm underneath you. He had the audacity to laugh again as he began fingering you, the digits easily slipping inside of you with how turned on you were. You felt how his thumb pressed against your clit, and you were now rolling into the palm of his hand, seeking more from him.

“You know, you have an effect on me as well.” As if to prove his point, he rolled his hips up into your ass. You could feel his hot cock through the layers, the hardness making you shiver. Your walls clenched around his fingers, “Hm, you seemed to like that. Perhaps when we’re back home, we’ll need to have a redo of this night.” He muttered—gods, what you wouldn’t give to be back home right about now. How many more days until the festival when you guys could go back? Could it be right now so you could be shoved into a mattress already and fucked until you couldn’t walk?

You were now caught between wanting to grind on his cock, while also rolling into his hand as the wet squelching noises began filling the yurt. You bit down on your lip and tried to focus, and Sylus clicked his tongue from behind you.

“If you’re going to bite on something, use my arm. I wouldn’t mind more marks from you, kitten.” Sylus instructed, and in your lust-filled haze, you didn’t question it. Instead, you turned your head and sank your teeth into the arm underneath you. You heard Sylus groan as his grinding began more insistent, as did his hand. He seemed to be trying to get you to cum before him, and you were so close. Your thighs were shaking already as you tried to squeeze Sylus’ hand between your legs.

You felt that familiar warmth inside of your stomach, and with his skilled fingers and the press of his thumb along your clit you found yourself unraveling. You didn’t even realize an orgasm could be this good as you bit down harder on him. For some reason, it felt so much better that he was the one to touch you. Perhaps it had been the build-up, but right now, as you came, your head was static, and thoughts refused to form as the euphoric sensation wet through your entire body.

You were rolling into his touch, trying to prolong the feeling for as long as possible as he worked you through it, feeling how you squeezed his fingers. Your pussy throbbed around him, and the only thing on his mind was how it would feel around his cock.

When you finally released his arm from your teeth and began feeling a bit more normal, he took his fingers out. Your body was still buzzing with the aftershocks as he pressed his slick-coated fingers against your mouth. You didn’t think twice as you opened up and let him put the digits inside your mouth.

You groaned at the musky taste of yourself on him as he pressed down on your tongue. You sucked his fingers clean as you felt how he was still rutting against you. His hips stuttered in his movement as he groaned, and you wondered what he might taste like. You almost wished his fingers were his cock, and he was coming down your throat at that moment. If he had just waited a few more moments, you might’ve indulged that fantasy.

His breathing was heavier as he rolled his hips against your ass a few more times before he stopped and stilled against you. He removed his fingers and went to kiss the back of your neck. His hand now wrapped around your torso in a possessive grip as he held you there, nuzzling into you.

“Did you…in your pants?” you couldn’t help but ask; in response, you got a chuckle out of the man behind you. The breath of air was chilly on your slightly damp next as you flinched away.

“Very observant, but yes,” he said, “We’ll both be needing to get cleaned up before we properly go to bed.” His words made you pout as you rolled over to face him. He looked good like this, and you could see some of his flush hadn’t gone away after his orgasm. It was a rare treat to see him like this as you mentally stored the image away.

“Okay, but now I’m actually sleepy,” you muttered, and he just gave you a knowing look. It was the look of: “Your excuses aren’t going to save you this time.”

“I’m sure you are, kitten, so I’ll just carry you down to the river myself if you’re going to be acting like this.” He mused, “I wasn’t asking; I was telling you. We need to clean up.” You hated that he was being responsible. Sure, you knew it was important, but your body felt sluggish now, and you just wanted to rest.

“What if someone sees?” you asked, and he raised an eyebrow. His arm was now snaking around to the front of your neck, grazing over the marks that painted your skin like constellations.

“Then let them, not like I care in the slightest. Besides, it’ll be obvious come tomorrow with all our new markings,” he commented, and you looked down at his arm, which had an angry, red bite mark. You flushed as you went to kiss it; he had a point. Hopefully, nobody had heard the wet noises earlier; to you, it had been deafening in the quiet of the night.

“Fine…were you serious when you offered to carry me?” you said while poking at his exposed stomach.

“You’re like a feather to me. Come on.” You felt how his arms wrapped around you as he made you two sit up. Your hands wrapped around his neck as he stood up from the bed. You locked your legs around his waist as he adjusted you in his grasp.

The only thing on your mind now was how badly you wanted to get back home, to Linkon, to the N109 Zone, so that you could properly fuck this man.

Anyway, this was inspired by a post I saw by @aeyumicore which btw did you now if I ever say I'm tempted to write something and someone says do it, I will probably do it. In one sitting. This took three hours to outline, write, and then edit.

[eggonthemoon]

Alien Stage Round 6 Character Analysis and Lyrics Breakdown

Okay so obviously spoilers, don't click Keep Reading if you haven't watched Round 6.

God fuck it's so fucking beautiful, where do I start?

I don't even know what is going on with those rapid shots of what I assume is some form of experiment that Till was involved in. I have no clue what the goal was or if it succeeded but somehow (for no real reason other than that one image of Luka standing behind Till ominously) I feel that Luka is involved with it.

Was this an attempt by Heperu's (Luka's guardian) rival to make a human capable of going up against Luka? Till being the youngest and Luka being the oldest also means that Till's guardian could have caught on to what Heperu was planning to do with Luka and then start experimenting on humans shortly after and it would still somewhat line up with the timeline.

But I'm getting into conspiracy territory, back to suffering!!

Allow me, to the tips of your fingers

Allow me, to the ends of your feet

Dissolve me in your gaze

I don't want to let you go

Oh this hurts. Seeing him look so defeated and exhausted, you can tell that even though to the public it's not certain whether Mizi died or not it doesn't matter to him. Because she's still gone away from his world, where he is unable to reach her. He wants to dissolve and die but he also doesn't want to let her go if there is even a sliver of hope that she lives.

Please, leave me scars

Please, hurt me so that

Not a single drop of me remains

Let me drown in you

The footage that plays to these lyrics really show how defeated he is. He refuses to sing, his passion for the art completely dead and buried. And (his guardian I assume) when someone shoves the fact that Mizi is gone in his face he lashes out and punches one of the aliens near him.

Until these falling stars

Are buried in the blur of time

However his heart isn't entirely in it and is quickly apprehended.

He is beyond exhausted and doesn't even protest or put up a fight while (the same alien he punched btw) another alien runs their fingers through his hair.

On your icy lips

Read my soul

Yes, my soul

He hopes that even if Mizi is dead that her spirit watches over him, seeing his soul and by extension, Him, for all that he is. Every thought and breath until he falls asleep is for Mizi.

But didn't we already know this is how he'd be like? Time for something juicier~

Even if your cold words

Carve scars beneath my eyes

May they linger on your tongue

You can break me apart

God this is heart shattering. Even if Till doesn't care for him, even if Till throws hurtful words his way, Ivan will still lie awake at night, cherishing what sliver of attention he is given. It doesn't matter if Till hates him, because as long as he is on Till's mind Ivan is happy. He is entirely in Till's hands, capable of being build up or torn down depending on how much (or how little) he is perceived by him.

Notice my pain

And mend me right now

To quiet my fears

I'll drown in you

He wants so deeply to be seen by Till, noticed. Till who doesn't let anything hold him down and always picks himself back up became a pillar of hope and strength to Ivan. It didn't matter how or in what context he gets to be seen, so he went out of his way to provoke him just to get Till to look at him even for a moment.

This was mentioned a while back on VIVINOS Patreon but the entire incident where Mizi and Till got attacked by that hound monster was orchestrated by him. I feel like there is two possible reasons for this depending on when in the timeline this takes place.

Either he wanted to test Till's resolve in hopes of being proven wrong about his courage (after all your hopes can't be dashed on the rocks, if you never had hopes to begin with) only for his obsession to end up growing even stronger than before.

Or he tried to let Till get roughed up enough that he'd be transferred (solitary confinement? emergency room?) somewhere else away from the others at Anakt, so they could escape together.

But we all know how that turned out.

Either way what Ivan wants isn't freedom, he's long since given up on that. There's no point in his freedom if the person that inspired him to yearn for it isn't by his side. He needs Till there, his very presence to reassure him that no matter what Till won't falter. But he failed to take account of the one thing that weakens Till's resolve.

Mizi.

Mizi is to Till what Till is to Ivan. And so without Mizi in his world Till crumbles. Since Till will only go where Mizi is and Mizi already gave away her heart to someone else, it's impossible for Ivan to be free while keeping Till in his world.

And so he follows him, resigning himself to a life without freedom.

Sick of these nights to come

To be engulfed in silence

But the distance between them is killing him, and each and every day they come closer to their inevitable doom.

It doesn't matter if they believe the lie the aliens told them, that if they die singing they will be blessed. Because what is the point in that? How can going somewhere far away from the people they love be a blessing?

In your gaze where I am seen

Consume me

Yes, me

His desires mirror Till's. He wants his soul to be seen by him, recognized for his undying love for him. He wants Till to see that he can give him all that Till yearns for in Mizi and more.

To this everlasting melody

Face to face we dance

And yet Till still refuses to look Ivan in the eyes.

Things get a little unclear but since they aren't shown singing here and there's no flashback to accompany the lyrics, we can assume that at this moment Till most likely gave up on singing.

With our story

Lost in forever's embrace

I'm not sure if Ivan intended this from the start or if it's a decision he made then and there but one thing is certain. If Till stops singing then that would mean he forfeits, he'll lose. Till has never once given up. Even when he went back for Mizi that night, he never intended to leave her in the first place. But now without her he crumbles.

And Ivan can't let that happen, not like this.

Moral grey area aside, this scene is so deeply moving to me

And I don't say that in a romantic context, absolutely not. This is something much deeper than just love. This is the culmination of everything they've been through, all those moments lead up to this.

Because this isn't a kiss.

This is Ivan throwing his life away for Till.

Till was going to loose, the only thing that could overturn that is if his opponent attacks him. The kiss was to distract Till and keep him from catching up to what Ivan was planning.

Just look at the contrast between their first and second kiss. As soon as the score board shows Till is in the lead, he gives him a gentle peck on the lips. The contrast is stark and full of meaning. This was the genuine kiss, hidden behind a smokescreen of aggressive bravado created from the previous one.

And it worked. Till was completely convinced that Ivan's intentions was to kill him, and he was fully intent on letting him.

I know a lot of people doubted his intentions. Because he didn't let go of Till's neck the minute he saw their scores, a lot of people assume that this was Ivan trying to drag Till down with him.

But the minute he coughed up blood what does he do?

He smiles.

and let's Till go.

He's only human. He might know logically that Till has won the match. But emotionally he refuses to let go until he is certain.

Until he knows for a fact that he is the one bleeding and dying he'll keep up his charade.

And then.

And only then.

Till truly sees Ivan.

As he dissolves in his gaze.

[asidian]

One thing I haven't seen talked about is Crystal's character arc, and specifically the way the timing of it interacts with Charles' arc. They stumble over each other in the worst possible way en route to their respective character growth, and from a narrative perspective, it's absolutely genius.

I'm going to preface all this by saying: none of this is a criticism of Crystal. Part of what makes her such a dynamic, refreshing character is that you don't get to see women in fiction written the way she's been written. You don't get to see women with her flaws that aren't throw-away mean girls or villains. You especially don't get to see women with her traits who learn and grow and become better people. So yeah, I'm going to talk about Crystal's character flaws. No, this isn't Crystal hate. We love our girl in this house. Okay? Okay. Let's start.

Crystal's character arc, at its heart, is all about her learning to be a better person because she has good influences that love and support her for the first time.

When the show starts, Crystal is not a nice person. She's abrasive in a way that's specifically designed to push people away. She's used to getting her own way, and it shows. She's used to having no meaningful connections with anyone, and it shows. She's breathtakingly selfish, in the very literal sense of the definition. She is focused on her self. Her problems are front and center to her; everything is about what she needs, and what she wants, and how she's struggling.

Jenny calls her out very early on. In episode one, Crystal is complaining about the boys, and Jenny, for all her cynicism, strikes right at the heart of the problem. She tells Crystal, "Everybody is always thinking about themselves, all the time." People only care about their own problems. And she says, correctly, that that's what Crystal is doing, too.

This moment is a revelation for Crystal. For the first time, she considers what her behavior looks like from another person's perspective. As she says, she gets mad at herself over it, and that awareness allows her to do something selfless for the first time in the series. She takes a step back and insists that instead of focusing on her problems, they go to help a little girl. It's a big moment for her.

But importantly, she's not done growing as a character here. She's only just getting started.

On my first watch through, I didn't realize how often, over the next few episodes, Crystal redirects things to her problems during conversation, but it's quite a lot. She's still focused on herself – selfish, in that most literal definition of the word. The issues most important to her are her issues. She's starting to learn to think about other people, but she's not there yet. The process is still underway.

Which brings us to Charles.

Charles' arc is a different sort of self-reflection. He's terrified that he's a bad person the way his father was and the way the boys that killed him were.

During the course of the show, he gets systematically stripped of his confidence and made to feel helpless, and just like Crystal needs outside influences to help her reach a more stable place, Charles does, too. He desperately needs reassurance that he isn't everything he's afraid he is.

But my goodness, the timing in their arcs is such a trainwreck when you put them together, and it is brilliant.

Let's start with the Devlin House.

Crystal has some amazing character growth here. She displays genuine concern about Charles, makes an attempt at comforting him, and learns to work with Edwin even though she still doesn't particularly like him at this point.

Charles, meanwhile, is beginning to fall apart. He's just had the worst night of his afterlife. He's been viscerally reminded of how helpless he is. He couldn't stop the Devlins from being killed over and over, just like he couldn't stop his own father's abuse. He messed up his attempted rescue so badly that he was completely out of commission until the case was finished. He managed to help not one single thing. He made no impact at all. He couldn't help those girls any more than he was able to help himself, while he was still alive.

So they get back to the butcher shop, and what do we see? Monty immediately coopts Edwin. Niko doesn't know what's happened because she wasn't there and Charles has been all fake smiles with her. And Crystal goes off with Niko, leaving Charles to flounder on his own in the wake of everything. She's still learning how to support other people. She isn't there yet, and it's extremely on display in this moment.

Then we get the lighthouse episode, and they both get put through the wringer here. Crystal gets her hopes and expectations jerked around by the Night Nurse in the very worst way, and Charles gets hit with a whole pile full of trauma. All that helplessness wells to the forefront again. Combined with being forced to relive some of his worst memories and the desperation to keep Edwin safe from hell, Charles lets himself act on his anger for once.

And what does he get in the aftermath? Horror.

Everyone who cares about him is horrified by what he's done. Edwin goes so far as to call it extreme. They don't know the half of it, of course; they haven't seen what the Night Nurse just put him through. But in this moment Charles is at his absolute lowest, and all he sees is confirmation that he's exactly as terrible as he thinks he is.

That's why Charles shrugs off Edwin's attempt at comfort, here. When he needed to be able to do something to protect Edwin and also himself – when he needed to believe that he could be better than what his father always was – all he sees is the confirmation from the people he cares about most that when push came to shove, he really is a bad guy.

Then comes the aftermath. And this moment is such a brilliant, awful clash of both of their character arcs. It is so delightfully messy.

Because Charles starts to open up to Crystal here. He starts to lay himself bare, the way he ends up doing with Edwin in episode 5. He's on the verge of admitting something that he's been worried about for literal decades. He tells her, "I've been angry for such a long time."

And what does Crystal do? She's still in the midst of her own character growth. She's still struggling to support other people. She's still learning how to. In a lot of ways, though she's made progress already, she's still that selfish girl that Jenny called out in the very first episode.

And she shows it here it with the absolute worst possible timing. No sooner has Charles started to talk about what's bothering him than she cuts in with her own problems. She's tired of riddles and spirits and demons and not knowing who she is. And the look on Charles' face. The moment when he visibly sets aside his own problems, because Crystal doesn't need any more disasters on her plate? It's heartbreaking. You can actually track the subtle change in his expression there. The actor does a phenomenal job.

And then comes the kiss. And what spurs it? Crystal saying she needs something real.

This moment isn't about light-hearted attraction, the way the earlier flirting is. It's Charles setting aside what he needs – comfort and reassurance and a moment to talk through the things that have been tearing him apart – to give her what she says she wants. He can't even feel it. And Crystal isn't far enough along in her character growth here to realize how selfish she's being. Like Jenny said way back in episode one, she's only thinking about herself.

And then comes the absolute unmitigated disaster of episode 5.

Straight out the gate, Charles leans in for a kiss. From his perspective, they have something together; there's affection there. Charles "I think I'd miss kissing" Rowland, who has been starved for meaningful physical contact for thirty years, is not in a hurry to give this up.

But Crystal is fresh out of a nightmare where she conflates Charles with her abusive ex. She withdraws; she calls what they had a distraction. She cuts it off almost as soon as it's started, so focused on her own worries here that she misses how damn fake Charles' smile is, to cover up that he's coming to pieces.

To be clear, she's absolutely not in the wrong here. It is 1000% her prerogative not to jump into a relationship again while she's still struggling to work through what happened with David. But the arc of her narrative is still early enough that she does it all without so much as the awareness that her focus on her own issues has hurt Charles terribly.

And then the episode really kicks off, and both of them are in shambles in very different ways.

Crystal is projecting her issues with David onto Charles. She has a lot of history, and David seems as though he's exactly the right sort of toxic to leave lasting a lasting impact. But Charles hasn't done anything to deserve her assumptions, and he takes the brunt of her temper here and throughout the episode.

Charles is desperately projecting onto the dead jocks. He very badly wants them to be good guys, because he sees himself in them and he needs himself to be a good guy. He snipes back at Crystal for the very first time in this episode, and he does it in the worst way possible, accidentally prodding her where it will do the most damage.

They're both hurting. They both say some truly painful things to one another.

She does not need to hear that she has unsorted hangups about David still plaguing her while she's unable to move past them. He desperately does not need anyone to tell him that he has rage issues while he's still struggling to think of himself as a decent person.

They apologize, in the end. They start to move past it.

But it's telling that Charles doesn't try to open up to Crystal again. He goes to Edwin instead, even though Edwin is the one who called his actions regarding the Night Nurse extreme. He gets the reassurance he needs so badly; he gets the connection he was looking for with Crystal from Edwin, instead. (I have a lot of thoughts on why Charles initially tries to open up to Crystal so quickly, but it is very much an aside, and this is already extremely long, so it will have to wait for another write-up.)

But the important thing here is, Edwin is the one to offer Charles what he needs to overcome the self-doubt eating him alive. Edwin provides the physical affection Charles was seeking in the form of that long-overdue hug. Edwin is the one who's able to reaffirm for him that he's not just a good guy, he's the best person Edwin knows.

And for all intents and purposes, Charles' major character arc ends here.

Charles has a few last little moments to go on the path to rebuilding his own self-image, after this, but for the most part his concerns have been resolved. He saves Crystal in episode 6 and Edwin in episode 7, proving to himself that he's able to make a difference in the face of overwhelming odds. He's not helpless, no matter what the Night Nurse told him; he can be a force for good in the world. By the end of the series, his crisis of self-doubt seems to have been largely overcome.

But it's the conversation with Edwin at the end of episode 5 that really allows him to work through his most pressing issues. Edwin is there to help support him when he stumbles. Edwin provides him the comfort he was looking for while Crystal was too worried about her own problems to notice how badly he needed the help.

Crystal, meanwhile, still has a ways to go after episode 5. The last three episodes are where she does her most important character growth.

In episode 6, she learns some hard lessons about keeping secrets and letting people help and appreciate you even when you can't offer them anything in return. And Charles, importantly, is there for her every step of the way. He consistently offers her physical and emotional support. He models for her, in a very real way, what it looks like to have someone prop you up when you need the help.

And in turn, Crystal steps in to save the boys. She's the big damn hero at the end of this episode.

The breakthrough continues into episode 7. She's so intent on helping to get Edwin out of hell that she literally goes to face her own demons, not for herself for once – not for her own purposes or needs or wants – but because she wants to help someone else.

And episode 8, at long last, brings her to the culmination of her character arc.

Crystal is at her absolute lowest here. Her family, the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally, didn't even realize she was gone. Her precious memories, that she's spent the entire series trying to regain, have showed her that she's not the person she hoped she would be. She's overwhelmed enough that she means to flee, to cut herself off from her new friends entirely.

Then the boys get kidnapped. And just like that, she makes up her mind.

For the first time since the start of the series, she sets aside her most important issues in order to let what other people need take precedence. She disregards all of her own personal concerns and focuses instead on others. She's finally stepped out of those selfish impulses that Jenny calls her out on, all the way back in the first episode. She's finally learned how to support other people when they need it.

Crystal has finally figured out how to be there for others, despite having troubles of her own.

It's a lovely arc, and it's beautifully done.

Charles' is just as touching.

And god damn, but it was a brilliant narrative choice to have their character arcs line up in exactly the wrong way.

[astrolavas]

i think abt hunter's room back at the castle a lot because it tells us… so much abt his situation.

hunter was always expected to be this strong, mature, trained soldier. he had to act like an adult next to actual adults, in order to be minimally respected by them (and even that barely worked). he wasn't supposed to show any weaknesses, he didn't have an option to be himself freely, he was working as the emperor's right-hand man 24/7. his childhood was literally stolen from him.

and yet in his room, despite the fact that he's supposed to be this "mature" golden guard, there's the sprig plushie under his pillow. there's a cartoon character figurine on his shelf. you see it all and it really just hits you how young he is. that he's just a kid.

hunter was never allowed to have a typical childhood, and at the time as the golden guard, he wouldn't have admitted to wanting one, not even to himself. he was conditioned to believe that he had to be strong and grown up and focused or else he would be seen as weak and useless (especially with him being magicless in a magical society). but even during these times, where he couldn't be fully himself, where he could never even consider being vulnerable next to other people or acting like a kid, he had that plushie. and i just think abt all the nights where he would get back from a long, exhausting shift or from an unpleasant meeting with belos, and he'd just lay down on the bed and hug the plushie, because it was literally the only source of comfort that he had, and because despite everything he was still a kid. and at that moment, in the privacy of his own room, he was allowing himself to act like one, even if he hated himself for it.

and it's even more heart-breaking when we take into account the contrast between the cartoon plushies/figurines and the remaining entirety of his room. the weapons, the stitched up pillow, the potion (which i can only assume was something to help with healing wounds), the first aid kit.

that room is probably very bittersweet in his memories, nowadays. because he was basically trapped in there, he couldn't leave the castle most of the time, besides on weekends for missions, no matter how much he yearned for it. it has many bad memories tied to it. but back then, that room was also a single safe space for hunter; it was the only space that was his, where he didn't have to mask or watch his tone or act like an adult, he could just… feel things, be hunter, be a kid, at least as much as he'd allow himself to.

[trashfangirlsworld]

Hello! I've been inactive due to the current events in the mcyt community, but I've been keeping up with the qsmp admin situation and I thought I'd share some opinions because the amount of doomposting I've seen the last few weeks has been more than I've seen in any fandom in a while and I feel like it's reached the point where people really need to chill the fuck out because they're not thinking straight and actively not helping. Everything I'm gonna say is based on stuff I've seen on both tumblr and twitter.

they should not promote/release merch! : one of the things that baffles me the most tbh; how do you expect any employee to be payed then? Merch is so far the only big source of income for the server besides q's own cc salary or whatever income they get through the official qsmp channel on twitch and youtube (which I don't think is a lot). "I get that they said they have no funds, but still it doesn't feel right"... sorry but at this point I don't know what to tell you, do you expect them to pull money out of their asses? You can't demand that they stop making merch and then complain that they can't afford the twitter admins at the same time. If you don't feel comfortable buying anything from them it's fine obviously, but if your reason for it is that you're helping the admins then I have bad news for you. I have seen people propose that quackity sets up a patreon, and while I think it would be a good idea, I understand why he's not doing it, since with the merch he can at least give something back to the people that choose to support his project instead of people just giving him money for free, especially with what's happening now. Also with how much hate he's been receiving simply for the merch I can't imagine that a patreon would be recieved well.

we don't know if the money is going to the admins/ they should not use pomme's likeness! : the money is definitely going to go to the employees and admins because otherwise the server would not last. And as much as I understand people feeling protective over pomme's admin, quackity studios is very much allowed to sell merch of the character because it is not the likeness of the admin, it's a minecraft model made by the people that work there. Would you have rathered they skip her character entirely? Do you really think that would have been okay?. Also correct me if I'm wrong, but I've seen posts and tweets saying that pomme's admin has been confirmed to come back with the other eggs whenever it happens by pierre, who talked with her admin.

the admins of the update accounts got fired, it means they want to fire everyone, they aren't making things better! : it sucks that the updates accounts had to end and I feel bad for every twitter admin that clearly cared a lot about the project, but unfortunately it had to happen if there simply isn't enough money to pay them adequately like they deserved and ultimately the update accounts were not essential to keep the project going, so it makes sense that they were let go unfortunately. This is not gonna be the case for the egg admins because if they got fired (which they didn't), the server would basically end. Just because a cc does not know when they will be back does not mean it's not gonna happen. Just because tubbo randomly said that he's not sure if they will be back does not mean they were fired; tubbo is normally not a reliable source of information, even less so when he's been live nonstop for the past 20 days, which is prior to everything happening. If you genuinely didn't expect a reduction in non essential staff considering everything, then you have unreasonable expectations on how this stuff goes. As I write this, I'm seeing people saying that "they would understand this decision if q had set up a patreon to pay the admins", and once again I don't understand how people don't realize why quackity might not be keen on the idea of having his fans pay his own employees for his own project instead of, you know, doing it himself; and, again, do not fool yourself into thinking it would be recieved well. That being said, it's fair to criticize how everything was communicated to the admins, but I'll get to this in more detail later.

quackity should not have uninstalled social media, he's trying to avoid everything! : he's not avoiding anything, he's been off social media for a while now, which is why it took him that long to remove wilbur from the server. He has every right to not want to look at social media, as his focus should be on restructuring his server instead of doomscrolling on twitter because people think he needs to see how much people dislike him. The only people that he should talk to are those that have important information to tell him, like josè with the document. He explicitly said on stream where to contact him if you have helpful information and I'm sure that despite multiple well liked posts saying not to spam his email, people are definitely doing it anyway, which is probably gonna slow the whole thing down even more. I hope josè's document is able to be seen with pierre's help as well.

quackity studios is not communicating with their employees and leaving them in the dark and that's not okay : I agree with this. i think a huge chunk of doomposting lately has been due the lack of communication not with the audience, but with the admins, and they deserve to know what is happening behind the scenes more then us since this is about their current or future job.... that being said, I do kind of understand why they're being so secretive and shutting everyone out, and that's due to all the "leaks" that have been spread online. I understand the anger but I really wish some people would realize that discussing leaked bts lore stuff in ccs discord servers does not help the situation at all and instead makes it seem like they're only doing this to rile up the fandom against quackity studios by using the lore of people's fav characters.

At the end of the day, I think people just aren't used to dealing with a situation that does not have a clear cut solution and someone to clearly hate, so the result is this doomposting and the over aggressiveness toward anything related to the project. Personally, I haven't witnessed anything that made me lose faith in the qsmp like some people have been saying, as every change that we've seen so far coincides with what quackity said on stream a while ago. I only wish things were communicated properly to the admins clearly, as they're the ones most affected, so I hope that's resolved soon. Ultimately quackity is singlehandedly restructuring the server from basically zero, has had to fire people that were misusing money and power and, depending on what josè's document said, is probably gonna have to fire some more. This is not an easy process, nor a quick one, you're not gonna hear about sunshine and rainbows for a while and doomposting about everything you hear because you expected quick change is useless. Think before you speak, have a clear head and most importantly have empathy.

[bones4thecats]

They Had A Nightmare Of The Overblot (PT. 2)

Type of Writing: Random Idea Name: They Had A Nightmare Of The Overblot Characters: Vil Schoenheit, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia, and Grim + Yuu Sei Idea-Giver: Random Thoughts

A/N: Like in my past pieces, the reader is not MC/Yuu, they are a person coming from Twisted Wonderland. By the way, for Yuu and Grim's part, they are envisioning the overblot of Yuu's S/O. And, for Malleus' part, it is set in the future where he and the reader are married and have a child (the reader is not specified as female though)

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👑 As someone that tends to fills his day with many different things ranging from club duties to his work as a model and actor, Vil does not like to dwell on the past, to him it's necessary and can hold one back

👑 But, for some reason, the Great Seven seemingly disagreed with his coping mechanism

👑 You and Vil had begun to date one another a few weeks after his overblot, since you both grew up together in the Shaftlands, with your guardians working together in the movie business, but your guardian was a casting director while Eric Venue was an actor, you guys were very close growing up

👑 And because of how close you both were, seeing such a sight was something that not only scared him, but it scared you. You had watched your dearest friend become a, in other's words, monster

👑 Vil, before he blacked out, had seen your shocked and terrified face as you held Neige, trying to keep his afloat in the chaotic scene

👑 Thankfully, while he did come to his senses and become the same man you knew and loved, there was always a voice lingering in his head telling him that that incident proved how pathetic and weak he was. And how he could lose you easily to someone just like Neige

👑 These thoughts consumed his mind as he slept with you being coddled in his arms, your hands intertwined as your breaths began to slowly separate with Vil's speeding up and your slightly faltering at the feeling of air rushing past your ears

👑 Looking at your boyfriend over your shoulder, your eyes slightly widened at the sight of him, his face was contorting slightly as if he was going to cry but he was being forced to hold it in by fear

👑 Grabbing his face, you began to try waking him up. From shaking him to, somewhat, messing with his already messy hair, nothing was working, until you grabbed a small glass of water from your bedside table and splashed his face, making his eyes jerk open with shock

" Vil?! Hey, are you alright? You were jerking so much in your sleep and you looked like you were about to cry. I tried waking you up by shaking you but it wouldn't work- " " You're okay... " " What? " " Oh, thank the Great Seven that you're okay! "

👑 Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, Vil wrapped his arms tightly around you, tighter than he ever has before, making you let out a small gush of air from the pressure

👑 Holding you with his face burrowed into your neck as he lightly sobbed tears of joy, you sighed gently and hugged him right back. Your hands eventually reached up and began to massage his head and back, allowing him to drift back into a rest

👑 This time... there would be no dream of that fateful day and how you got that scar on your arm, it would be about you and his first date. The day he first realized he loved you...

👑 He's gonna kill you in the morning for splashing water on his face btw

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🎮 Unlike pretty much the rest of the boys, Idia doesn't fully hate his overblot. After all, he did gain his brother again, albeit a robotic version, but still

🎮 Though, every time he looks at Ortho, he remembers his overblot and the incident that happened when they were very young. And that makes him rethink everything. Also, don't get me started on when he looks at you

🎮 While he does think about how amazing and good-looking you are, he also thinks about the incident and how he sent a large shock at you and caused you to go into the infirmary for nearly an entirety of four weeks. And if scares him that he had done that to the only person who was there with him since the beginning, no death of anything occurring

🎮 Because of that event and how he had nearly harmed you to the point of being in a coma, Idia was very distant, holding to himself far worse than he ever did before. But, somehow despite these actions, you had accepted him and begun a relationship

🎮 For Idia, your relationship was built upon trust, loyalty, and honesty. Nothing else truly mattered to the male if he knew you would always be there and tell him the truth without him questioning it

🎮 One sign of his trust was allowing you to sleep in the same bed as him. And, in one of the first few times of this happened, disaster struck in the form of a nightmare

🎮 Hugging you tighter from behind as his eyes dodged in every direction underneath his closer eyelids, you awoke to his whimpers and very faint calls of your name and a mixture of pleases and no's

🎮 You had heard his eventual scream of a no and looked over at him in shock, he had never awoke so abruptly and harshly, even when he had nightmares of Ortho's death all those years ago, and that was scaring you enough, what had scared him so badly?

🎮 Opening your arms as he lunged in and hugged you tighter as if you were about to disappear, you began to hush him and hum a lullaby that his younger brother said he used to sing to him all the time when he had bad dreams growing up

" Y-Y/N, p-please don't leave me... not again... " " I won't, my love. I'm always going to be by your side, no matter what, okay? "

🎮 Nodding as you hugged him and pressed soft kisses to his temples, nose, forehead, and eventually to his somehow naturally blue lips, making him melt and hold one of your cheeks with his hands

" Now, how about we get some more sleep? You really need it. " " Ha-ha, funny... but, yeah. Sleep sounds really nice... "

🎮 Getting back under the covers, you instead of being the little spoon, allowing Idia to crawl into your arms as your legs tangled together comfortably. His breaths then calmed and became a steady sound as you rubbed his head and back to comfort him and remind him of your words

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🐉 Malleus was not proud of himself after the incident, how could he have let something like this cover his mind so thickly it could be compared to Lilia's cooking's stench?

🐉 Ever since he had overcome his emotional issues with the help of his dearest friend, Yuu Sei, and his friends and family members, you and him began your real relationship, courting and all

🐉 Now, he had never really dwelled on the past, to him, it would only hold someone back. Holding onto a grudge was something he wasn't fond of doing, so he tried to never do it. And, unfortunately, he had failed with this kind of grudge

🐉 Back to the point of this;

🐉 You could tell that Malleus was getting stressed with his work beginning to overflow, and despite the combined efforts of help from his father-figure, Lilia Vanrouge, and his closest friends, Silver and Sebek, he still had a lot left for him as the King of Briar Valley

🐉 His grip as he held you as you rest was also a tell-tale sign. His tail's grip was starting to make your leg fall asleep, which was what initially woke you up, and when he felt you touch his tail and left it, he had accidentally in his sleep knocked you away and knock a cup down, landing on the ground with a shockingly decent-sounding crash

🐉 Malleus' eyes erupted awake as he called your name, unnoticed tears falling from his eyes as his tail had rammed up and his horns slightly curved farther with growth

" My Spindle, are you alright?! Do you have any cuts, bruises, or any burns?! Oh no, please tell me I did not burn you... "

🐉 Burn you? What in the name of Twisted Wonderland was your husband raving about?

" Burn me? No, Malleus, your tail merely knocked me back into the cup. I'm perfectly fine! Are you okay? You have tears falling down your cheeks... " " Tears? Ah, I didn't notice those... but, yes, I am fine. "

🐉 Bullshit, you knew when your husband was internally hurting and every time you saw this habit of pushing something else ahead to distract you, you would get annoyed. Much like right now

" Malleus. I know when you aren't okay... don't start lying to me now. " " Father? Mommy/Daddy? What happened? " " Nothing, Diaval. Just go back to bed okay? " " Why is Father crying, Mommy/Daddy? " " Father just had a hint of a bad dream, like you and I do. Now, please darling, go back to your bed. " " Can I sleep with you guys for the night? " " Why? " " I- I don't remember which direction my room is... "

🐉 Malleus smiled gently and held out his hand to his first-born son and hugged him as you chuckled as your son threw up his small raven plushie and huddled himself underneath the sheets as you hugged him and Malleus wrapped his long tail around you both

🐉 Why was he so scared of what he had done in the past? Maybe it was because the last thing he saw was the slight burn marks you still had imprinted on your arms from protecting Yuu, or maybe it was because he needed to see something to remember... remember why his mother had gave her life for him

🐉 She did so so he could understand her, her love for her spouse and child... and while normally such a though would bring the fae to tears, Malleus couldn't help but lay a kiss to his son and spouse's heads as he hugged them, pledging his devotion over and over again...

🐉 It did not matter what had happened, what mattered was what was going to happen

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❤️‍🩹 -> MC/Yuu Sei ~ 😼 -> Grim ~ ・ -> Both Btw, the reader here is in Heartslabyul with Ace and Deuce

❤️‍🩹 Yuu, unlike his companion, had a very strict schedule of thinking when it came to the dark magic he had survived attacks from for the past few months at Night Raven College

❤️‍🩹 It was quite ironic really, because of his way of thinking and devotion to keeping his head high, he had attracted you, by far one of the nicest beings he had ever met in the new world... and really in his entire life

😼 Grim, on the other hand, had only gotten your attention because of how he treated your dorm leader, Riddle Rosehearts, with blatant disregard until he had punished him with his signature spell

😼 The feline had devolped a quick rivalry with you as well, well, a one sided rivalry that is, you didn't really hate the monster. In reality, you cared for the small thing as if it was your own sibling or child, gifting him small cans of tuna from now and then

❤️‍🩹 Your connection with Grim was something that Yuu loved, but, whenever he had seen you bending down you give Grim a can of tuna, your boyfriend couldn't help but see you in that god-awful form bending down above your old friend Cater about ready to attack

❤️‍🩹 He had never told you anything of it, preferring to keep such a vision to himself. He wouldn't want to worry you about his mind

Sadly for both of them, they would be forced to face their fears with the motivation of one thing; a nightmare with you nearby

😼 Your little friend had been curled up in your lap after eating to much for his lunch, mainly three cans of large tuna, and begun to take a long power-nap

😼 But, when you felt him begin to twitch far more than normal and feel the faint whimpers come off from his chest, you picked Grim up and excused yourself from your third-year allies and housewarden to deal with him

😼 Ushering him awake, Grim jumped and accidentally clawed your hand, making a small cut begin to bleed on your palm. And he could only sit there on the ground in your dorm-room, small yet bubbly tears falling down his cheeks

" Grim! Are you alright? " " I-I'm fine, Y/N. " " No you're not... Grim, I know when someone's lying, please don't make me add you to the list of liars. "

While getting Grim to admit his nightmares was fairly easy, getting your boyfriend to do so would be far harder

❤️‍🩹 Yuu was, in your opinion, a no-paid therapist for the entire school. Or, at least the main members of each dorm, from housewardens to their vices, he has spoken to pretty much all of them through their problems

❤️‍🩹 He never really has been so clean of energy that day in particular, from nearly getting hit on the head by Deuce's cauldron from running from Vil while housing Epel from his lessons that day, he just wanted to lay by his loving S/O and take a long hard rest for the night

❤️‍🩹 But, like a lot of things that year, even something has simple as that didn't work out for him. He had a complete nightmare of the overblots he had faced alongside you, and he had woken up in a shock right before a dangerous and death-worthy attack landed on you

❤️‍🩹 You had starred at him in shock from the ground you had fallen on and just rubbed your arm as you crawled back up and began to caress his arms and back in an attempt to calm him down as tears swarmed his eyes and began to leak

" Y/N? Oh God, you probably think I'm weak for crying about something so futile... " " Futile? Yuu Sei I have seen and heard a lot of things throughout my lifetime here in Twisted Wonderland, some of which I believe and some I do not. This is far from a futile thing to cry about. You just imagined the almost-happening death of someone you care for... like I have... and from the mighty words of my Godfather, Dire Crowley, 'In order to use magic just how you picture it, you need imagination. Some mages also find it useful to make a habit out of writing and drawing out their ideas, to train their ability to better materialize them'. " " What does that old bird's words have to do with this?... No offense! "

❤️‍🩹 Chuckling at his reaction, you gripped his hands in yours and said the following words that would forever lay resting in his mind before he slept every night

" In my words, ' In order to succeed in surpassing something, you must earn it. Whether it be from talking about it or writing it down in a journal of some sorts, letting such pains off your shoulders helps out a ton, whether you believe it or not.' " " Now I know that did not come from Crowley's mouth. "

❤️‍🩹 Laughing at your boyfriend's words, Yuu took it as an opportunity and lunged on you, wrestling playfully with you as you laughed while he tickled your sides... oh, what did you do to earn such a wonderful man?

[towriteloveontheirarms]

The princess´ favour (Criston Cole x Targtower!Reader)

synopsis: Your love may never be accepted by the people around you, that doesn´t hold you back from expressing it in the privacy of your chambers.

warnings: age gap, kinda forbidden relationship, smut, oral sex (m receiving), afab reader

word count: 1.9k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1 @bucknastysbabe

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

Dividers by me

As a girl you never understood what was so great about tourneys. Sitting beside your mother, flinching away from the raw violence of it all, while your brothers watched with a fascination you had rarely seen them have for anything. However, now as a woman grown, you began to see the appeal. Not for the fighting, but for something entirely else. Or rather someone entirely else. Sitting all the way in the front row of the stands with your brother Aemond, who was just under the age of being allowed to participate himself, watching on as knight after knight gets knocked off their horse. Analysing and talking on and on about what they could have done better, while your eyes solely rested on one knight, sitting on his horse waiting for his turn to most assuredly destroy his opponent. Your knight, as you called him in the secrecy of hidden places in the gardens, empty hallways around the keep and your chambers in the dead of night.

When it is Criston Cole's turn to compete against some knight from the Reach, whose name went in one ear and out the other almost immediately, he rides up to the stands. As his horse comes to a stand, his helmet finds its way under his arm and those dark eyes search for your own.

With a poorly concealed wide smile you lean over the railing. "Ser Criston."

His eyes light up with the way his name sounds falling from your lips and his own lips split into a smile, nodding to you in greeting.

“Your highness. I am sure to win this tourney. Would you do me the honour of doing so with your favour?” His voice carries over the background of excited chatter and knights barking commands at their squires.

Without hesitation you skip over to the small table to grab the ring braided from acacia blossoms to let it down the lance that is safely propped up against his side.

“Good luck, Ser.” You chirp, waiting for him to bow his head ever so lightly and then ride away to take his position. Only then you sit back down by Aemond´s side. The side eye he gives you easily goes ignored, as in the moment he opens his mouth, the horses start to race towards each other.

Of course, Criston ends up successfully knocking his opponent off his horse, having you jump up to applaud him enthusiastically. Along many other Ladies. Yet one look of his beautiful, dark eyes is enough to quell your doubts about his loyalty. It would be your chambers he would be sneaking into later.

“Have I told you how much I hate seeing you get hurt like this?” Your thumbs run over his cheeks to assess the extent of his wounds.

“You have, princess.” Criston smiles up at you, brown eyes watering as you run one of the digits over his busted lip, despite his victory he naturally had taken a few hits himself.

The heavy plates of his armour discarded and the clothes underneath unbuttoned to reveal his muscular chest.

“My apologies.” You mumble upon hearing him suck in a sharp breath.

Criston shifts ever so slightly before he lets you put the washcloth to his skin again, wandering down steadily. When you reach his chest, the backs of your noses brush against each other ever so slightly. Your breath catches in your throat and almost reflexively Criston's fingers twitch against your thigh.

"How are you feeling?" You mumble, still fully concentrated on cleaning his wounds.

"I feel quite alright, now that I have you all to myself." Criston looks at you, the glimpse of something sparkling in his eyes.

"My attention will always be on you only, my sweet knight. My affections will only ever belong to you." You put down the cloth you had used to clean him up and run your hands through his hair, before kissing his forehead.

After that you barely separate until your foreheads rest against each other, noses rubbing against each other playfully, before Criston´s lips find their way onto yours. They lap at each other in tender, languid motions while eager hands run over clothed bodies they had explored a multitude of times before. Still, even if you knew each other’s bodies like the back of your own hand, you would never grow tired of it. In all this time the butterflies never calmed.

In the blink of an eye Criston joins you on the bed, straddling your hips and pushing you onto your back. The world spins around the two of you from the abruptness of the motion, as the rough pad of a thumb traces your jaw line first, before running over your lower lip.

Instinctively your legs wrap around Criston´s hips. Before your lips can seal in another kiss though, you roll the two of you around, to comfortably kneel above the knight with a triumphant teasing smile.

“You have done enough already. Let me reward you for your win.” You whisper against his neck.

The tip of your tongue traces a line down the middle of his chest and abs to the hem of his pants.

On the bed Criston propped himself up on his elbows to look at you better, his breath hitching as you teased just under the material.

“As you wish, princess.” He breathed, hiding a half smile, by biting his lower lip.

You follow this up by pulling his pants and breeches down to his ankles to set the tan hardness free from its confines. The same action makes your mouth water at the thought of what was to follow alone already.

In a matter of moments, you gently take the base of his cock into one hand to lick up the length of the vein on its underside. When the wet muscle reaches the tip, your lips wrap around it eagerly, teasing the weeping slit. Underneath the hand resting on his strong thigh, the tired muscles begin to shake from the teasing actions.

“Princess…” Criston's shuddering voice sounds through the room.

His dark eyes, though half closed, are trained as you give his cock an experimental suck. Taking it in just a bit deeper. As an immediate reaction you can see from the corner of your eyes how the knight’s hands grip the sheets a bit tighter. With a happy sigh at the reaction, you set a comfortable pace. His hips meet your mouth, thrusting up with trembling legs.

After a while his thrusts become harsher, hitting the back of your throat now to elicit the most enticing moans mixed with quiet gagging sounds he had heard from you.

Amid trying to concentrate on breathing through your nose and the view of him vanishing under a veil of tears, the hand on his thigh wanders upwards. Immediately his body trembling turned into a full-on shaking. Your hand barely cups his stones, yet the touch pulls a groan from him, that has the juices from between your legs dripping down your own thighs. The sound is more rousing than anything you had ever heard before. You gently roll them in your palm and the knees on either side of your shoulders tighten abruptly and Criston´s hips push off the bed and into your mouth on their own volition.

“So good… I don´t think I am able to hold back much longer.” The cries of pleasure from his lips grow louder, uncaring of who outside the door might hear them.

The tip of the knight’s length slips past the back of your mouth and into your throat to make you gag. The wet sound fills the room for a moment followed by sputtering and panting, as you desperately gasp for air. At the same time, you never stopped pumping his hard cock.

The quick motions and have his body shaking uncontrollably, even more so when you put your lips to his big sack, placing gentle, wet kisses onto it and sucking it into your mouth. The two of you moan in unison. The vibrations again send shocks through Criston’s body, his eyes rolling back into his head and arms underneath going limp, unable to hold him up any longer.

“Please, princess.” The begging whimpers get repeated like a prayer.

You barely manage to separate long enough from laving affection onto his lower body to answer. “Please what, my sweet knight?”

“I'm so close." Is the desperate, needy whine you get to hear in turn. “Please, I want to finish.”

It's truly adorable how he still asks for permission to let his climax overcome him. Hips trying to hold back from trusting into your hand until you answered his pleads, swollen lips hanging open and a sheen of sweat coating his face.

“Go on then. Paint my face with your seed.” You encourage him, before going back to pay attention to his stones. Your tongue flicks out to play with them, while your hand tugs on the knight’s hardness just a bit faster. The other hand, which rubs circles into his inner thigh again, wanders up just far enough to let one finger put the lightest amount of pressure on the point right behind the sack. The reaction it earns in return is all the bigger.

Criston´s hands fist into the sheets and the groan that breaks free from tightly pressed together lips has you praying that no one would storm into the chambers while Criston does as you have told him. Painting your face with his seed, making you look like one of the women serving in the pillow houses in flea bottom. The ones Aegon would talk about, whenever he wished to upset either you or one of your siblings.

And in the moment, there exists no more beautiful sight in the entire world to your secret lover. You continue pumping his cock until he has nothing more to give and the whimpers from above have turned even more raw and high pitched. For a moment after that you sit back on your haunches to just revel in the glow that shines from Criston after his climax. One finger collects the seed on your face to get it into your mouth.

After that moment of respite, the washcloth is picked right back up and wet again. This time to wipe your face first and the knight's privates afterwards.

But the second you crawl onto the mattress the both of you know that there is not much time left to cuddle. Outside the sun started to set, colouring the sky in all kinds of beautiful shades of red and orange. Alerting you that you would be expected at a dinner in your mother's chambers and Criston needed to go back on post. Perhaps you had taken a bit too long to take care of his wounds, but when your knight’s lips graze yours, his chest still heaving underneath your hand, you can't find it in you to care about any of that. Not as long as he would be lying there with you.

“I do not know what I have done to deserve you, princess. You are too good to me.” He rasps against your lips, noses brushing against each other to make the moment more intimate, as your hands wander over the other´s sides and arms.

“You deserve only the best. I hope you know that.” You answer in a raw voice.

[loverboy-radio]

Hello! I was wondering if I could make a request of the Dorm-leaders reacting to a male reader with the Unique Magic of a Empathic Healer? This Unique Magic can allow the reader to heal any and all wounds on the person. However, the wounds are not removed, but rather transferred to the reader instead, acting as if he was the one who got injured. Despite the risks his magic would bring him, the reader can't help himself but use it if it means to help others who are hurting.

Thank you!

thank you for the request it seems to be a very interesting concept. so i'll give it a try. now i don't know if you wanted this romantic or not so i will try to make it both in a way.

Characters: riddle, malleus, vil.

Reader: Male

i have only done some of them as the rest i have no idea what to write for them as the reaction would be the same

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

RIDDLE

when he found out your UM he was like "ok he can do that"

until realization kicked in about the fact you hate to see people in pain and have just transferred a broken hand with bone sticking out to yourself.

so now he is making sure people don't take advantage of this and make his boyfriend take their injury for them.

which will get anyone collared even if it was trey.

and thats saying something.

he does at times feel guilty when you decided to use it one him one day. and gave you a lecture about 2 hours long about how these kinds of thing can become very bad over time ect ect.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

VIL

now he is one that would only allow you to use it if he somehow managed to get a bruise.

or if you give him a hickey

anything else he will not allow.

he is very interested about it as it would be something useful to a point.

vil would also make sure no one tries to make you take a really bad injury from anyone like a deep cut, or broken bone.

he would even make sure rook kept an eye on you so you don't do something like that EVER.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MALLEUS

once he finds out you can do this he will never allow you to use it EVER.

he knows how fragile human can be and as much as he loves and respects your decision. he will do everything in his power to make sure you are never hurt.

and if he finds out you did it without him knowing he feels betrayed.

cause you just did something that will bring you injury on purpose.

and whoever you took the injury from might not be seen again.

but please don't do this you are his boyfriend, his future husband. he will never be able to live with himself if you took an injury that you could never recover from.

[mntozakii]

sugar — lee haechan

pairing: haechan x female reader

tags: stepcest, age gap (6 years), unprotected sex, haechan is a little bit insane but it's fine ☹️

note: been having haechan brainrot so plz enjoy this

minors do not interact and all characters are in legal age

[unedited]

before your first encounter with the boy, his father has warned you that his son can be very mischievous. it turned out to be wrong because the haechan that you met was silent, you didn't have to know that he was actually angry. he believed that a pretty girl like you shouldn't be around men like his father, he knew that his workaholics father will neglect you in the future.

much to your delight, haechan warmed up and became closer to you since his father is always on a business trip. haechan just absolutely adore the way his father's young trophy wife showed up to his soccer games, coding competition, and took care of him like a good mommy. in return, he gave you a lot of affection and love. your sweet boy haechan who never disrespect you, listened to you more than his father, and indulged into your silly little hobbies. he didn't mind to follow around the store like a kicked puppy as you spend his father's black card.

haechan who can't be mean with you. at first, he wanted to make your life miserable but you were so kind and lovely to him. you think of him so fondly that it never crossed on your mind that he's taking advantage of you.

haechan who whines about his sore back so you will massage him and he finds it amusing that you laugh whenever he moans, if only you knew that haechan creamed his pants.

haechan who loves to share his food and feels his pupils dilate whenever your mouth opens nicely as he feeds you.

haechan who offers to do the laundry so he can steal your panties, he secretly touches himself with the flimsy silk.

to be honest, you weren't bothered with haechan's behaviour since you've seen how the boy acted around his relatives and friends. you assumed that it was only natural for him to be so attached with you, after all you're his new mother.

haechan has to thank his parents for making baby as his nickname because now he gets to hear you call him baby everyday.

"baby, don't forget to eat your breakfast"

"haechan baby, can you help me with the grocery?"

"good job baby, you're so smart"

four years went by and your sweet sunshine is no longer a pretty boy, he stood taller than you and looked intimidating than ever. however, he was still the same cheeky boy you've know. haechan attended law school, following his father's path. to be frank, it wasn't his first option but you had beg so prettily for him to listen to his father.

even though haechan was hundred miles away from you, he will still occasionally visit you. besides, he texted you everyday and updated you with everything. you knew the names of the professors that he hated, his pretentious classmates, and his roomate jeno.

"i want to see your face" haechan sent a selfie of him on bed with his messy brown hair.

"i'm on a date" you sent a selfie with his father which he replied with an eye roll emoji. you probably laugh at his choice of emoji but he genuinely felt pissed off. all he wanted was to see your face and he got a picture of the old man kissing your cheek.

"i miss having meals with you" haechan sent a picture of his pathetic dinner that consisted of ramen, few packs of sandwiches, and milk.

"my baby, please eat a proper meal" you sighed as you looked at his simple dinner, you'll remind your husband to pay extra attention to his allowance.

when haechan had few days off from school, he decided to suprise you by taking a flight home. upon his arrival, he was flustered to hear choked cries coming from your room. he knows that his father was home so he opted to peek from behind the door, his face turned into a soft frown when he saw your naked body on his father's lap.

"honey, please, i want to have a child with you" his heart burned with jealousy watching you hold his father's face as you cried, he never get to see your vulnerability before.

"i feel alone, the house seems so empty without haechan. it is a perfect timing for us to raise a child together, right?" his heart broke seeing your attempt to convince his father, haechan felt your frustration by the strong grip on the older man's shirt. he never know that you felt alone while he was away, he felt even worse when the accompany that you now wanted was in a form of a child.

"my sweetheart, i understand how you feel but can you wait for a few more months? once everything is settled at the firm, we will talk about this again" haechan had to physically control himself from letting a scoff, he knew that his father's promise meant nothing. the younger man headed to his room while he waited for his father to return to his office.

as soon as he heard the car left, he went outside to find you. his lips turned into a smirk when he saw you eating a pint of ice-cream, he was quick to attack you with a tight hug. you let out a shriek before hitting his chest when you realised it was haechan.

"haechan, you didn't tell me that you were coming home!" you reciprocated his hug and chuckled when the brunet pecked you on the cheek.

"i wanted to surprise you" he mumbled as he wiped the cream at the corner of your lips, he pulled you to the couch and kept you close to him. he wrapped his hand around your shoulder as he listened to you while the movie play mindlessly in the background.

"baby, have some" haechan smiled when you fed him the ice-cream. he found it very cute when you call him baby because he liked to take advantage of it, it almost felt like you will always forgive him for his mistakes.

haechan loved whenever you wear polo shirt especially if it was paired with a mini skirt. today, you were wearing his favourite white shirt paired with a midi skirt. you looked so beautiful, he can't help but to stare at your thighs through the slit of the skirt.

"why are you so pretty today? i want to play with you" his hand slid inside the skirt before he softly rubbed your inner thigh while maintaining eye contact with you. it wasn't unusual for haechan to be clingy but he should never touch you in that way.

"haechan, what are you doing?" your heart pounded heavily when his hand dangerously headed north.

"baby, your hand—" you tried to push it away but it was no use, his grip only tighten on your body. haechan leaned closer to leave wet kisses on your neck, he missed you so much.

"no— haechan, we cannot do this" your second attempt to shove him away failed since he was so much stronger than you, he didn't even budge at all.

"hmm, why can't we do this?" his mellifluous voice whined before he pulled you to his lap, his hands rested on your side as he eyefucked you.

"my father doesn't want to put a baby into you and i want to do the opposite of that, isn't that good?" his voice made the question sounded so innocent meanwhile in reality, he was talking about making you pregnant with his child. he must've overheard your talk with your husband, you wanted to believe that haechan was just confused with his feelings towards you.

"haechan, your father will get very mad at you" you mumbled as you reached for his hands, holding them tightly so he won't touch you again. haechan admired your effort to put him in his place, it was an adorable attempt. he easily pulled his hands away from you before carrying you to his room, he made sure to lock the door before cornering you to his bed.

"baby, baby, baby" he mocked the way your small voice always call for his name, he took off his shirt and sat on the bed. you can't help but to notice how different he looked now, his body was becoming lean and his features has developed into a handsome man. haechan held your hand as you stood still with guilt written all over your face.

was it your fault for spoiling haechan rotten until he thinks that he can get whatever he wants?

was it your fault for not creating a clear boundaries with your step son?

was it your fault for getting a little aroused with his little antics today?

"mommy, give me a chance to please you" haechan begged with the prettiest doe eyes ever, you are aware that you can say no, leave his room, and pretend that nothing happened but something inside you was thrilled to see more of him.

haechan grew impatient waiting for your reply, he decided to have you on his lap again before a brilliant idea popped out.

"you can tell me to stop and i will" haechan promised before he unbuttoned your shirt, he tried to read your expression but failed to do so. haechan chuckled seeing purple bruises all over your chest, you must had a steamy night yesterday.

"my father is a greedy bastard, isn't he?" he muttered before doing the exact thing that his father did to you last night, except haechan was aiming for your neck.

"baby, not on the neck, he will notice it" you pulled on his hair to take a look at his face, he seemed to be disappointed when he failed to mark you.

his hands gently groped on your tits and nipples, he alternated in between sucking, biting, and pulling on your hard buds. haechan felt his ego skyrocketed when you started to whimper and begged for more.

haechan positioned you to lay down comfortably on his bed before he took off your panties, he kept the skirt on because it looked lovely on you. haechan couldn't believe that he was finally staring at your naked body, he had been fantasizing this for years.

"such a pretty pussy" haechan praised you and chuckled when he noticed your hole clenched at nothing, he didn't know that you were already leaking wet.

"hmm, it's so tight, does he not fuck you at all?" haechan queried as he stuffed your hole with his middle finger, he moaned seeing you tighten around his digit. since he was eager to satisfy you, he added another finger and played with your clit using his other hand.

instead of making you reach your high, haechan kept on edging until you became so frustrated. he will rub your clit in the most delicious circles and stopped whenever you're almost close. the moment when he noticed your legs started to twitch, he will take his hand off your pussy and let you cry for more.

"haechan, don't be mean to me" you had to hold back a sob because you've been denied for so many times and it felt so painful. you tried to touch yourself but he gently smacked your clit as a warning, he wanted to see you come on his cock instead of his fingers. he got on top of you and let your legs rest on his shoulders, he gave a few kisses on your calf before pulling out his dick.

"i prepped you so well, you should be able to take it like a good girl, right?" he rubbed the tip on your entrance and slightly pushed the tip to elicit another moan from you.

one thing that haechan had always dreamt off was kissing you, he had various imagination to kept him on edge whenever he jerked off. he used to imagine fucking you on the mattress that you share with his father, he also fantasized about fucking you in the kitchen too. today, he will do everything that he wanted for so many years.

haechan bit his lip as he slowly pushed himself inside your warm cunt, it felt so fucking good that he wanted to cry. haechan leaned closer to kiss your lips and giggled when he tasted the lip gloss, you had put it on him for fun before but it tasted so much sweeter on your lips.

"baby, what's so funny?" you asked then laughed when he shrugged it off and hid his face on your chest as his hips kept on thrusting into your poor hole.

"this is better than everything i used to dream off" haechan admitted before pulling you into another kiss, you realised that the brown haired boy liked to be messy when kissing. he was so desperate and wanted to swallow you whole if he could, he slowly trailed down to your neck and started to suck and bite on it.

"baby, be gentle with it" you reminded him as you caressed his hair, you admitted that he was doing so well and it scared you. the younger boy decorated your neck with fresh red marks before he intertwined your hands together.

"i'm going to fill you up with my seed, get you pregnant with my child, that'll make you a real mommy" haechan whispered before he continued to fuck you real hard, every each of his thrust hits your cervix and drove you to madness.

"baby, no— haechan, you have to pull out" your hands weakly push him away but it only fueled him to pound your hole mercilessly, he knew that you were close and he wanted to come together. a few more penetration and haechan felt your walls contracted tightly around his veiny cock, he shot ropes of warm semen inside your pussy.

you can't help but to whine at the warm feelings inside you, haechan panted softly as pulled you into a tight hug. he caressed your messy hair and adored the marks he left on your body.

"did i do a good job, mommy?"

[gay-dorito-dust]

you’ve got a great writing style! I was wondering if you could write Ford x Reader where reader finds him mid flashback/panic attack because of his history with Bill, and has to comfort him, but having no clue about his past so just really struggling 😭

sorry if this is too specific or niche so no pressure!

You had been looking for Ford for what felt like forever now, even going as far as to ask the twins whether or not they have seen their Grunkle, only for the two to share a look of concern before telling you that they saw him bolt off into his room with a look of pure panic upon his face.

‘He looked like he remembered something that he didn’t want to remember.’ Dipper said and you thanked him before heading towards Ford’s room, where you noticed the door was open and the man you were looking for all day was huddled in the corner of his room with a haunted, yet terrified, look upon his face as his breathing came out raged.

‘Ford?’ You whispered.

No response.

‘Ford.’ You spoke louder this time, beginning to become worried as you stepped into his room, closing the door softly behind you, all the while keeping your eyes on the man who looked as though he had saw a ghost of his past.

Taking a deep breath you cautiously walked towards Ford, all the while also keeping a good deal of distance between you both for his benefit as you knelt on the floor across from him. It wasn’t until you were close to Ford to notice the tears glistening within his eyes, or how his lower lip was being bitten to absolute death to the point of bleeding, or the way his fingers gripped and clawed his own arms. It hurt you to see Ford like this as it pained your heart to not know what he was going through, especially when all you wanted to do was help him however you could.

‘Ford you’re hurting yourself.’ You said lowly as you gently took both of his hands in yours, allowing him to squeeze them as tightly as he wanted, ignoring your own pain at his grip as you rubbed your thumbs against the back of them soothingly. ‘No one is going to hurt you Ford, I don’t know what’s got you like this but you’re safe, you’re safe with me.’ You promised as you felt Ford squeeze your hands in what felt like morse code; something you and Ford had both used when neither of you felt comfortable speaking upon your feelings in public spaces, so you both agreed to resort to morse code instead.

‘You’re safe.’ You repeat as you squeezed his hands back. ‘Stan is safe, Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Fiddelford, Wendy and myself are here if you ever need us Ford, please I just want to know if you’re okay.’ You pleaded as you felt hopeless in trying to comfort Ford and you hated it as all you wanted to do was make him happy, safe and loved, but how could you do that when he was seemingly frozen in fear of something you weren’t privy to.

Ford blinked his teary eyes as they finally acknowledged you and you swore you could hear him take a deep sigh of relief, seemingly having came out of his own head, before pulling you in his arms where he held you tight as he buried his head into your shoulder.

‘You’re okay.’ He whispered. ‘You’re all okay, he didn’t win, he didn’t get to any of you.’

You didn’t know who this ‘he’ was but it was obvious that Ford feared him more than anything, and while the mystery about this character that seemingly haunted Ford unnerved you, you could only hope that your hug would reassure him that you were real and not imaginary.

‘I’m here Ford, I’m right here.’ You reassured him. ‘Nothing is going to take me away from you, nothing.’

[ayakashiz]

Reposting this from my twitter thread because it hasn't left my head (and adding a tiny bit more).

Seen so many questionable takes lately about the ivantill kiss, and I know everyone is allowed to have different opinions and interpretations but.

No, Ivan didn’t just pretend to kiss Till for the show. And no, he wasn't trying to make Till hate him either or trying to trigger him over his implied SA to snap him into action.

I think the whole point of the scene (confirmed by the creators) is Ivan finally breaking his mask of perfection and control and giving in to his messy, all consuming feelings, being selfish for once.

Yes, by the end before the strangling starts, he appears more clear headed and now focused on the objective of manipulating the score. But he doesn't really look at it until AFTER he starts strangling Till.

The kiss itself wasn't part of the strategy, or at least not entirely something calculated. Ivan could have skipped the kiss and strangled Till right away and gotten the same result.

The fact that he kissed him AGAIN after he started strangling him, more softly and 'personal', almost like a goodbye or an apology (whether for his selfishness or for their past), tells me he wanted it.

I think a last selfish act doesn't diminish the love he had for Till, it just shows the tragedy of ALNST. Ivan is only human after all. And no matter what kind of mask he built for himself and what illusion of control he had over his life, when faced with the real, imminent possibility of losing Till, he crumbled and did something unexpected.

I have more to say about the Ivan and Sua parallels and how he finally understands her in the Confession comic etc etc but I think I've yapped enough.

I just don't like it when people try to mold the narrative because they're uncomfortable with an unconsensual kiss. It's meant to be painful and heartwrenching, a reflection on Ivan's one sided-feelings and his desperation at the moment —to be seen for the first (and last) time, to not be left behind, to convey his emotions in the only way he could when being seconds away from death.

After all the team confirmed that Ivan is clumsy with emotions and only knows to convey them in 'childish' ways (the nuzzling against his face, the picking fights with Till and teasing him).

I think some people like to think of the kiss as something purely calculated and selfless because it makes it more 'palatable', but in my opinion this take washes out Ivan's character and the flaws that make him just as human, vulnerable and complex as the rest of the cast. He was willing to throw away his life and his perfect image because he wanted something that badly.

[sweetfushi]

THROUGH HEAVEN AND HELL

synopsis. satoru gojo is the strongest in all aspects - the honoured one. though he thinks you were sent to tell him, or make him feel, otherwise.

fluff, angst | satoru gojo x reader, fluff, angst, self-deprecation, major character death, feelings of loneliness and unworthiness, descriptions of gore and burns | word count. 1.1k ◦ notes. spot the shakespeare reference (this was going to have a happy ending i swear).

Gojo had befriended loneliness. He found that the company of others inevitably led to either his or their downfall, so he’d become accustomed to living his life alongside paranoia. That’s why when he began desiring your permanence, he was scared. Not only of himself but of what about you had meant he felt this way. 

"You need to stop," he tells you one day when you smile and wave at him as you always do. 

Your smile drops, your hand lowering. "What do you mean?" Usually, he’d greet you back with a smile of his own and ask if you wanted to head into town, or tell you about the latest mission he was assigned to. Instead, you see his shoulders tense and his eyes lower, though his expression is anything but angry. Rather, he looks conflicted, spiteful of himself. 

“Don’t keep following me around,” his voice trembles, causing him to pause momentarily to inhale deeply. “I don’t feel like the strongest around you.” 

For a moment, the two of you stand there in silence, his back to you and your eyes wide. You don’t have it in you to ask again, about what he means, though you’re not sure why. The way he says it, it’s almost as if he’s aching to tell you to find someone else to cling to, someone who isn’t sought after like an animal. Satoru had seen you around Kento and Suguru, hanging out and filling the silence of the school with your laughter. He wanted to tell you to go to them instead, to see if he was the weak one or if you had been sent as his this-worldly punishment.

Satoru was terrified to admit that he knew it was the former.

And yet, he turns to face you fully, his hands in his pockets. “I love you,” he inhales deeply again. “I want to spend every waking moment with you and I can’t forgive myself for how selfish that is.” Satoru tells you this with surprising calmness, because he couldn’t let you witness the embodiment of the guilt and fear he felt internally.

“Is that what selfishness is now?” You practically spit. “You want to deprive yourself of love because you think it’s selfish?” A big part of you knows you shouldn’t be talking to him like this instead of comforting him and telling him your reciprocated feelings, but you hate what he just told you.

“Yes,” he responds despondently, “and I need you to stop acting as if you can’t tell.”

You readily start to respond, until he doesn’t allow you to.

“But I don’t usually listen to what I need,” he admits.

That makes your breath hitch and kills the words spilling from your mouth. The tone of his voice remains borderline desperate, but you hear the shift from utter self-loathing to a near acceptance of it. You can’t see his eyes, but that never felt like a barrier to you. It never stopped you from feeling everything he expressed to you, and that certainly didn’t differ now that his hand reached up to pull his blindfold up, enough to let you see his sparkling eyes.

His eyes are so bright and yet so dulled with tears.

His smile is so kind and yet so pained with fear.

“I want you by my side through heaven and hell, through this world and the next. I want you to experience my selfishness first hand and tell me if you think I still deserve the smile you show me.”

You almost laugh with how overwhelmed you are. First he wants to push you away and now he dares you to endure his love? Is he joking with you? You’d kill him if he is.

“I’d follow you through it all, Satoru.”

His smile widens and triggers the stream of his tears, yet he’s silent as he stares into your eyes. You want to tell him to stop looking at you with an amount of love you don’t know what to do with, but you felt as though he’d be the one to teach you.

But Satoru knew he shouldn’t have trusted himself. What comfortable hour could he name that ever graced others in his company? Why did he assume that his happiness would be permitted? He was never friends with blessings, his isolation informed him of that much. So why did he think you would turn out any different?

Did he truly spiral into a pit of foolishness? Did he truly convince himself that you weren’t going to inevitably lay lifeless in his arms?

How pathetic.

More so that he hadn’t been there to witness the cause of it all. Did the Sorcerer Killer cause you to die painfully? Did you die with his name flourishing between your lips? Your name had died between his lips the moment he locked eyes with your lifeless pair.

“Have I befriended the devil?” Satoru whispers, his voice hoarse.

“I presume even the devil fears you, Satoru,” Nanami places a hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to look away from the sight of you.

Your stomach had been ripped into, your flesh torn and mangled. Had you somehow had the strength to walk when it happened to you, your broken legs wouldn’t have let you. Satoru watches as your lips dry and your uniform slides down your shoulders in tatters, exposing further bruises on your gorgeous skin.

You followed him too far. He should have substituted for you on this mission. When you’d heard him negotiating with Principal Yaga on it, you had laughed at his concern and rejected his help.

“I’m insulted that you think I won’t make it out alive, Satoru.”

“I need you to sit this one out, Y/N. Please.”

“I thought you didn’t listen to your needs?”

“All exceptions I’ve made have been for you. You know this.”

Him and Nanami had been called as backup by another sorcerer who had accompanied you, another victim of death’s kiss not too far from your own corpse. Instead, Nanami called a recovery team to the scene the moment he witnessed the detonation. The blond wouldn’t have recognised your scarred body if it wasn’t for the signature emblem that dangled from your breast pocket.

What was harder than him trying to endure the sight of you was trying to convince Gojo to look away.

Satoru lifts his blindfold and approaches your corpse unsteadily, granite and debris crunching under his boots as he attempts to conceal the way he stumbles towards you. Once he finally makes it to you, he lowers himself to his knees before they give out on him.

“Do I have to be the one to follow you now?” He sighs shakily, letting his hand grasp your charred one. He had been oblivious to it, but it had been made clear now. Satoru didn’t need to think about it further to understand.

He had been your punishment for indulging in your love for such a selfish creature.

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