#but part of me is afraid of what may happen first: me finishing everything and getting no new ideas or me loosing interest and leaving

[deathisamotherofbeauty]

was so irresponsible today and did very little🤗

[thebigbiwolf]

Spittle - Part 1/2

Summary: The chocolate seems innocent enough - if you look past the Infernal writing on the wrapper, and with so few pleasures in the wilderness, you all but jump at the chance to sneak yourself a small treat.

Unbeknownst to you, the bar is infused with succubus spittle. Just one square is rumored to contain enough potency to send a mortal into the throes of ecstasy.

This is what happens when you eat half the bar.

Fic Tags: Sex Pollen (kinda), aphrodisiacs, succubus magic, a bit of dom!Astarion, unprotected piv, overstimulation, he talks you through it (iykyk), more tags will be added later.

Fic Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Dubcon (if you squint), Language, No use of Y/N, magical influence

Read on AO3: Here

A/N: Remember the dead spider? I remember the dead spider. Anyways, the reception I've been getting on Starvin', Darlin' has me wanting to thank everyone with a one-shot. This got away from me so I went ahead and split it into two parts.

I've never written anything like this and it was significantly more difficult than a multi-chapter fic. I hope everything comes across the way its supposed to! And a huge thank you to my beta @imaginarydromedary for...you know... encouraging me to post this, despite everything.

From what you could tell, there wasn’t much to the apothecary. 

As you push open the dilapidated doors, your first thought is to search for supplies - anything that could help if things went south on your way to the goblin camp. 

Dried herbs hang from the rafters beneath a thin veil of cobwebs, filling your lungs with a pungent clash of scents. Empty bottles lined the shelves along the wall, caked in several months worth of dust. Large chunks of the building were missing where stone met splintered wood, some areas almost entirely overtaken by greenery.

You step over broken shards of pottery, scanning over the floor and countertops for something - anything that may be of use, but to your disappointment, it seems like the shop was entirely ransacked long before your arrival.

You sigh deeply, knowing you’ll likely never hear the end of this from your companions. It was your idea to search the village. You were the one who suggested taking out the goblin scouts, exerting everyones’ energy, and now you’re afraid you’ll have very little to show for it.

You catch a glint of gold, an object reflecting the sun's rays beneath a pile of rubble. You kneel down to brush away the surrounding debris, thankful for even the smallest promise of coin before your hands catch on… some sort of serrated edge?

You pull at it, and it easily comes loose. It's a thin, rectangular block, just barely larger than the length of your hand. You wipe away some of the dirt with your sleeve, revealing an intricately designed foil wrapping underneath.

As you speculate what this might be, you hear footsteps approaching from behind, light and familiar. You turn to face the elf with a smirk.

“You’re supposed to be the stealthy one.” You chide at him, playfully, “Or has my blood put a little skip in your step?”

Astarion scoffs. “I’ve been here the entire time, watching you fumble around in the dirt.” 

Crimson eyes study you, then the object you’re holding. He places his hands on his hips, head cocked to the side with a raised brow. “Is that what you’ve dragged us all the way here for?”

“First of all,” you waggle a finger at him, “You’re especially grumpy when you’re tired. I’ll have to make a note to prioritize your beauty rest. Second, I haven’t finished looking around, but check this out.”

You hand the bar to him as you stand. The cool skin of his fingers brush against your own, and you’re irritated with the way your heart skips at the brief contact. Why did the one man you found attractive in your camp have to be such a primadonna? And such a huge pain in the ass? 

Astarion’s eyes scan over the textured paper with suspicion, angling it towards the light to get a better look. The golden wrapping is stamped with an image of red lips On the back, letters twist and curve in a language you don't recognize, following a single circular pattern where they meet in the center. You’ve never seen anything like this, neither in your travels, nor within the city walls of Baldur’s Gate.

“Where did you find this?” 

You shrug, then point to the pile next to you. “It was buried right there.” 

He silently stares at the foil, mouth pursed, until your patience begins to wear thin.

“Well, can you read it or not?”

His nose scrunches. “Of course I can’t read it. It’s written in Infernal.”

That’s… odd. Why would an ordinary apothecary sell goods made by devils? Or, worse, for devils. Unless, of course, it was some sort of marketing trick, perhaps a play on the phrase ‘sinfully sweet’, or some other cringeworthy branding.

You take it back, turning it over in your hands before tearing at the corner of the wrapping. It's sectioned into dark, rich squares, and smells indisputably like chocolate.

“It looks like candy.”

“An excellent observation.” he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now, can we go? We’ve spent more than enough time here already.”

You roll your eyes and stuff it into your bag, setting off for camp, vampire in tow.

–

During dinner, you decide not to tell the others about what you found, knowing Astarion’s likely already forgotten the event. You set down your empty plate, thanking Gale for tonight’s meal. He smiles at you and bids you goodnight as you excuse yourself to your tent. 

You pick up your rucksack, thinking fondly of the dessert that awaits you inside. Having lived at the beck and call of your companions for weeks on end, you can’t help but smile at the idea of selfishly indulging in a small treat like this.

You tear open the rest of the wrapping and snap off one of the squares, immediately popping one into your mouth. It melts - buttery in texture, with a smokey, slightly bitter flavor. You can’t remember the last time you’ve eaten something so rich. Maybe weeks of the same rations have made you easier to impress, but this felt especially notable.

As you break off a second piece, a strange tingling sensation begins to spread across your lips - a pleasant buzzing that starts at your neck and spreads down through your chest. 

Strange, but not entirely unwelcome. You’ve heard of such inebriating chocolates, ones laced with alcohol or species of flowers that numb one’s senses for a short while. All harmless, of course, and you don’t have watch tonight. You may as well enjoy yourself. If worst comes to worst, Shadowheart is just outside with an assortment of spells and potions. Always better to ask for forgiveness.

It only takes you minutes to finish half the bar. You set the rest next to your bedroll for later and turn to blow out your candles, enjoying the lingering physical effects of the chocolate. Your skin feels flushed and delightfully warm as you settle down for the night.

When sleep finally takes you, it's dreamless, at first. Your consciousness sways, floating in an empty abyss, until colors begin to bleed onto the blank canvas of your mind.

A trickle of red morphs into the shape of familiar eyes, piercing you with their intensity..

Droplets of white spatter over a dark background, diffusing, blending into whisps. They curl and twist before settling into soft, coiffed fibers. 

Hair , you recognize immediately, his hair . His eyes.

Astarion. 

His image fully takes form, as if it had been waiting for you to make the connection before entirely revealing itself. 

He reaches out and seizes you, grabbing painfully at your hips as you crash into his body, hands exploring you - tight, possessive, squeezing at every inch of exposed skin before settling on the curve of your ass. He digs into your flesh with the blunt edge of his nails.

His lips press hot, wet kisses to your throat, mouthing just below the ear, before dragging his tongue along your nape and sucking, hard . You whine at the pressure, eliciting a grin from the elf, so characteristically pleased with the pathetic little noise he’s managed to pull from you.

“You thought sleeping would allow you to escape this - to escape me , unscathed?” He growls against your skin, his voice almost unrecognizable - as if it’s layered beneath a lighter, somehow more arrogant, feminine one.

“No, no, no. Wake up, darling. You’re in for a very long night.”

–

You startle awake, gasping - loud, labored breaths struggling to make use of the unbearably thin air. The edges of your tent bleed in and out of focus, spinning at a nauseating pace as you attempt to recollect yourself.

You wipe at the sweat collecting on your brow, the muscles of your arm heavy and aching, and find that your skin is absolutely drenched. 

Hot. Why is everything so hot? 

It's as if you're being cooked alive beneath your blankets, strangled beneath the furs. You throw them off; normally soft to the touch, the fibers now only worsen the prickling beneath your skin.

Could this be some sort of illness? A fever? 

No, this doesn’t make sense. Everything feels off. 

Fleeting thoughts of Astarion cross your mind - quick flashes of a sinful smile that was not his own.

It didn’t quite match the one you’d silently come to admire, and now that you think of it, the hunger in his gaze was much too intense for the reserved elf. 

His hands, his mouth, the way he touched you -

Your abdomen cramps, bringing your thoughts to a screeching halt.

A stabbing, visceral pain; a knife plunging into your organs. It overwhelms you, forces your body to curl into itself. You hold your pelvis, grunting, and grasp at your sheets. Tears sting the corner of your eyes.

This is - well, you have no idea what this is. 

You can’t think past the pounding in your head, the throbbing in your midsection. You're compulsively twisting, writhing, begging the gods for some sort of reprieve, but it's then when you make the most mortifying discovery of the night.

You’re soaked .

N ot just your smallclothes, which may have been understandable given your strange dreams, but through your damned pants. Not even the sheets were spared. 

“What  in the hells…?” 

You run your fingers over yourself, only intending to confirm the horrifying reality of your situation - that this is not, in fact, some sick, perverted nightmare, but the lightest touch sets off every nerve. 

You wail at the sensation: one massive wave of bliss giving way to several small jolts of pain. 

Pleasure to the point of agony.

The shock of the sudden orgasm courses from your sex through every limb, clenching and releasing pitiful, warm slick. It leaks freely out of you into your already thoroughly ruined underwear. 

Your heart pounds. You stay like that for what feels like a lifetime, toes curled, limbs twitching, waiting for your body to settle. 

After a minute or so, your breathing evens, and the thick haze surrounding your thoughts begins to lift just slightly, along with the suffocating heat. 

But something within you knows this isn’t the end - knows this isn’t enough . A desperation lurks beneath the surface that you can’t quite name. It screams at you. You need more.

‘Aw…’ A familiar, feminine voice prods at your mind. You quickly recognize her, the woman from your dreams who wore Astarion’s image.  

‘All alone, are we? Empty and needing to be filled? Doesn’t that hurt?’

It does. It aches unlike anything you’ve ever known. The lingering buzz of your orgasm just barely quells the worsening cramps, and they’re beginning to rear their ugly head again not minutes later.

You choke out a sob. “Wh- why are you doing this? What do you want?”

Sharp, wicked laughter fills your head, echoing off the walls of your skull. ‘I’m not doing anything, dear. Just enjoying the show.’ She hisses, ‘I told you, it’s going to be a very long night.’

You must be hallucinating. This fever - whatever this is, is simply cauterizing your senses, or possibly interacting with the tadpole? But the tadpole doesn’t speak, not like this. Never so clearly. Not with words.

Think, please. There has to be a reason this -

“Is everything alright?” Shadowheart raps on the canvas of your tent. “I heard a yelp. Are you hurt?”

Shit.

‘Ooh, this one might do!’  You feel an unwelcome… eagerness flood you.

No. No. Absolutely not.

You try not to panic. 

Under no circumstances should she or anyone else come in here.

The best strategy may be to ignore her - pretend you’re still sleeping. It seems like a good plan, but before you have a chance to follow through with it, another sharp contraction hits. This one is somehow even worse than the ones before. 

You pull your sheets up to your mouth to stifle your whine, but the half elf’s ears are sharper than most. “I’m coming in.”

She opens the flap to your tent and gasps when she sees you there - skin flushed pink, doubled over and covered in sweat. 

“Gods, what’s wrong? What’s happened?” Her hand reaches out towards you. 

Without thinking, you swat it away with your own. Your skin tingles at the contact, and the essence of a smile crosses over the threshold into your mind. The intruder giggles with satisfaction.

“Don’t,” you plead, “Don’t touch me.”

She scans over you, taking in your humiliating state. Her face twists with concern. “I need to know if you’re feverish. Please. You look awful.” 

‘Well, I think you look delectable.’

You groan.

At this point, you know it’s no use fighting this thing on your own. You go back and forth on whether you want to tell her the whole truth, about the voice in your head and its influence on your body, but the idea mortifies you into silence. 

Regardless, a cleric is likely your best chance of fixing this literal mess, so you nod, close your eyes, and brace yourself.

Shadowheart’s palm meets your forehead. It’s somehow worse than you anticipated. Even the simple, chaste touch sends you reeling, as if her soft hands are caressing your entire body. Flashes of heat wash over you, burning your skin, threatening to pull you back under another wave of ecstasy. 

It’s too much. You try your hardest to suppress a moan, but the muffled sound manages to escape from between your tightened lips, pitiful and broken.

The disembodied voice squeals with delight.

She quickly retracts her hand, clearing her throat. “Apologies. I can confirm your temperature is… elevated, but the rest…” She shakes her head. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

You want to scream, cry - anything to release your frustration, but you keep your mouth shut, not wanting to risk making any more unsavory noises.

“I believe I can give you some relief by treating the fever, but I’ll have to consult the others on the rest. This doesn’t look like any ordinary sickness.”

Consult the others? No. Gods, no. Nobody can know about this. Is she mad?

You intend to protest, beg her not to share this with anyone, tell her whatever death awaits you on the other side of this would be preferable, but she’s speaking an incantation before you have the chance.

A bright, green aura envelopes you, cooling your skin and ever so slightly easing the cramps. With the pain dulled, it's as though you can finally think again. 

You want to laugh. This situation is so utterly ridiculous that you’d find it hilarious, were it anyone else, but with the modicum of relief comes exhaustion - eyelids heavy, vision blurring with weariness.

“Get some rest. We’ll figure this out.” 

Her reassuring words are the last thing you hear before you’re overcome by darkness.

[weakformingyu]

Another Love | Part 6

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Genre: angst, smut, fluff

Words count: 8,416

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Warnings: angst, hickeys, unprotected piv(don't do this at home), dirty talk(I think that's it)

A/N: I'm finally here with the last part of Another Love. This fic means the whole world to me, it's the story that made me grow a lot as a writer and was the first story that I thought "woah this is really good" when I finished the first part. I hope you all like this last part, I poured my whole heart in this and I really want you all to feel what I tried to convey with my words. Thank you for all the comments, reblogs and feedback, that's what made me motivated to finish this fic.

Also, I wanna thank my best friend @baby-yongbok for bearing my whines and rumbles about this story. Thank you baby for helping me through the difficult times 🫶🏻

You may have regretted telling Han that you would give him a chance. How soon? As soon as the sentence left your mouth. Why? Because now, you are going to have to face all the demons you kept inside of you for all these years.

While having an unrequited love, you had a motto: if you don’t get too delusional, it's going to hurt less. So every single time, when your mind started wandering through those dirty thoughts, you made sure to stop yourself. However, now it’s not a one sided love anymore and you’re honestly afraid of what that means. The furthest thing you thought about doing with Jisung, was a kiss and even that left you hot and bothered. Now, you are thinking about other things, like having sex and that’s something you never did before for the sake of your sanity.

It doesn’t help that Jisung is a menace and surprisingly you didn't know about it. 15 years of friendship and just about now did you find out that this man has no shame.

Things were going pretty normal, he had been treating you like always so things didn't seem to have changed much and that gave you some peace of mind, afterall, he was always affectionate to you.

However, little by little, you started noticing some things. Like, walking around the house shirtless like he wants you to look and unsurprisingly that’s exactly what you do. Every fucking time, you feel like you'll explode and in your defense, it's really, really hard not to look. He shows up wearing nothing but sweatpants and you try with all your willpower to look anywhere but him but in the end you can't help but look. Honestly, it's impossible and you know he's doing it on purpose because you get glimpses of his condescending smile whenever he catches you watching. You wish you could punch him in the face but then he’ll know he has won and you can’t let that happen.

Jisung is trying to prove a point, is it risky? Yes, but he's not entirely confident about winning you over. Even though you said you would give him a chance, every time he tries to get close to you it seems like you push him away and that scares him, he’s afraid you will change your mind and he can’t have that. So he’s trying to show you that he’s the full package.

He's good to you and funny but that you already knew, you have been friends for a long time. So he wants to show you a new side of him, something you only get to see from a boyfriend.

After days of hesitation, one night he finally makes his move. You’re in the kitchen, trying to get something on the top shelf but you can't seem to reach it. Jisung sees that and a brilliant idea pops on his head, you can only hear his footsteps coming behind you and in the split of a second, you feel the warmth of his body almost touching yours when he leans over you to get the bowls you wanted.

That’s the moment you lose your mind, years of restraint ending in a simple touch of his. Actually, the fact that he’s not even touching you makes everything worse.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You ask, not turning around to look at him.

“Helping you, what else?” He answers, voice shaking a bit with the proximity. You can feel his breathing on the top of your head.

“I didn’t ask for help”, you clarify, not to sound rude but just trying to control yourself.

Unexpectedly, you feel his hands lightly holding your hips and in a quick move he turns you around, caging you against the kitchen cabinet and you release a shaky breath, heart beating like a hammer on your chest.

“You’re pushing me away”, he points out, “I won’t be able to win you over if you don’t let me”

You stare at him for a minute, he’s looking at you with puppy eyes, making you sigh.

“I’m sorry, I just have to get used to it”, you say, “I thought you would never like me so this change is kinda overwhelming”, you clarify.

“Shall we go on a date, then?” He proposes, taking a step back, looking at you hopefully. You nod, earning a big smile from him. “Okay, be ready tomorrow at 8 am”, he tells you, making you frown.

“What are we gonna do so early in the morning?” You ask, confused, making him shrug.

“It's a surprise”, he says, “but I can tell you that you should dress comfortably”

That's all he says, turning around and leaving you alone in the kitchen. Why does it seem like you just fell right into his trap? Like he already had everything planned and you acted exactly how he wanted you to?

There's nothing much you can do now since you already accepted the date, so you forget about what you wanted to do in the kitchen and go to your room, preparing a handbag with anything you'll possibly need.

He's up before you, waiting with breakfast and a warm cup of coffee. While you two eat you just know he's dying to tell you where you're going but he also doesn't want to ruin the surprise.

You realize it's going to be a trip when he drives out of the city, giving you the task of taking care of the playlist. You scroll through his songs, some from the boys, some from the artists he likes, you add some that you like, until you see the seaside.

“Are we going to the beach?” You ask, eyes sparkling. You missed this place so much.

“We are”, he smiles, stretching his hand to grab yours, interlacing your fingers. You feel your face hot, sure that you're blushing but you glance at him, seeing Jisung stare at the road with that shit eating grin on his lips.

“Don’t you think you're being too much?” You ask, trying to hide the smile that's trying to escape your lips.

“Not really”, he shrugs.

You and Jisung would always come to the beach when you were younger, it would be usually on your vacation but when you two were feeling down or something upsetting happened, you'd catch a bus and come here. You'd just sit in the sand, watching as the waves came and went, as the ocean reflected the color of the sky. It didn’t matter if it was winter or summer, that was always the place to make you feel better.

Jisung parks in front of a restaurant, inviting you to come out to eat and you look around, seeing how much it has changed since the last time you went there. When you moved to Seoul for school, you stopped traveling farther than your parents house. Even though you didn’t really need to save money because your family always supported you, you like to have savings for an emergency, so you had to give up on luxuries like traveling too far. Also, as you got older it became more difficult to stay close to your best friend in a place that was meant for just the two of you, every time you would go to the beach with him, you’d feel the urge to confess and that couldn’t happen, you were not ready yet. So you spent the last few years avoiding coming to your favorite place.

You were planning to come alone one day, when you had gotten over Jisung but life seems to be playing with you and now you’re there with the man you love and he’s the one holding himself not to confess to you right then and there. Not because it’s a secret, but because he doesn’t want to pressure you more than he already feels like he’s doing.

“I can’t believe we came all this way to eat spicy fried chicken”, he tells you as soon as you order your favorite.

“Stop”, you pout, “you know this place has the best chicken wings in the entire planet”

“Have you ever tried all the chicken wings on the planet?” He teases, making you roll your eyes.

“I don’t need to, I just know this one is the best”, you argue back, crossing your arms.

He stares at you with an idiotic smile, biting on his bottom lip trying not to laugh at you.

“Maybe on our next tour you can come with us?” he says, feeling his face warming up, “I’ll accept your opinion only after you try the fried chicken from two other countries”

Jisung looks around, trying to hide his blushing or his pout, anxiously waiting for your answer but you can see his ears as red as tomatoes.

“Maybe”, that’s the only thing you say, holding yourself from giggling.

You and Jisung take a walk when you finish your food, needing some exercise after eating too much. You take your sneakers off, feeling the sand hugging your feet and the cold water making you shiver when the waves finally get to you.

“Remember when I had to go on tour for the first time?” Jisung asks, glancing at you and you nod. “You got so upset that I would go away for an entire month, that you disappeared, your mom wanted to kill you”, he chuckles and you sigh, remembering that time.

You were 20 and had barely settled down in Seoul when he had to go away. You were upset that you would have to stay all by yourself since classes had already started but you pretended like everything was alright.

“I didn’t really disappear, that’s an exaggeration”, you scoff, “I just forgot to mention that I wouldn’t come home that night”

“Well, that sounds like disappearing to me”, he argues back, “and it did to our parents too”

“The point?” You try changing the subject, not really wanting to admit that you were in the wrong.

“The point is, that I found you seated on that rock right there”, he points to the place you were walking to. “You were a mess, you cried and were already sick because you didn’t bring a coat and it was already night”, he scolds you, making you roll your eyes.

“And?” You push again, starting to feel guilty again about that day.

“I should have realized your feelings for me sooner”, Jisung bites on his bottom lip, fidgeting with his hands. “Everyone but me knew and you had to struggle on your own. I’m sorry”

You feel tears brimming on your eyes, you don’t want him to pity you.

“I never wanted an apology from you”, you explain, “I was always aware that you didn’t have to like me back. It was not fair of me to expect you to feel something you didn’t. That’s why I never told you… I mean, until I couldn’t hold it back anymore”, you chuckle awkwardly. “Even if you had never liked me back, I wouldn’t want you to apologize to me”

Jisung pouts, nodding in agreement.

“But I’m not apologizing for not liking you back”, he say, “I’m apologizing because you struggled because of me and if I had realized it sooner maybe you wouldn’t have had to-”

“And maybe you wouldn’t have fallen in love with me too”, you blurt out, hand flying to your mouth as soon as the sentence left your mouth, making a big smile show up in his lips.

“Am I hearing this correctly?” He teases, seeing you blush. “Did you just admit that you are satisfied that I’m the one in love now?”

“Why, of course”, you bite back a smile. “You deserve a bit of a punishment for dating so much in your life”, you shake your head in disapproval.

“There’s nothing wrong with falling in love”, he teases, laughing when you roll your eyes.

He’s right, you were in love with him for a long time and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, for some reason, that makes your heart ache and an awful thought appears in your mind, making you stop on your tracks, glancing at him and staring for a whole minute before speaking up again.

“For how long are you going to be in love with me though?” You ask, letting your insecurities speak but you can’t help but think about that. “Your relationships didn’t last that long, are you sure you won’t just fall out of love with me in a bit?”

That makes his smile disappear, his brows knit together in a frown, pure confusion on his complexion.

“I- you’re different”, he says like it is the simplest thing in the world.

“What’s so different about me?” You push, trying to understand him, trying to look for some reassurance.

“I don’t think I ever felt like this for anyone before”, he explains. “I was never the jealous type, but when I saw you with Jeongho I wanted to explode and my chest hurt so much. I think of you every minute of the day, I was never like this before. I want to show you places, I want to take you to eat different foods and see your reaction when you taste them. You know you’re just like Hyunjin right? You do that face when you eat something delicious”, he smiles, “I want to be the one to make you smile and I want to be the one who’s there when you need to cry. I want to be your best friend, but I don’t want to be just your best friend, I want to have it all. All of you”

You feel like all the air from your body just decided to come out, you can’t breathe and at the same time you feel like you’re breathing too much — too fast, but when you see his dark eyes watching you, waiting for you to say something — anything, its like your body move on its on and in the split of a second your lips are on his.

You always dreamed about kissing Jisung. You always imagined how it would be to kiss him. But not even your greatest dreams came close to reality. His lips are soft just like cotton and warm like the hot chocolate you drink on a cold day. His body pressed against yours is something you never thought you needed but now that you have it it's something you don’t think you can let go.

His hands cup your face, fingers digging on your skin like you’re going to run away if he holds you with less strength. He’s shy, just pressing his lips against yours, until it's too much for him to handle and his tongue comes into your mouth, making you sigh. Jisung's hands trail gentle caresses down your arms, leaving a trail of warmth behind and sliding around your waist and pressing himself more against you.

You are completely lost in his lips, not sure what to do next, it's like it's your first time kissing someone. You grab his shirt, trying to get a hold on something, trying not to fall because your legs are almost giving out and your chest feels like exploding. When you two need to breathe, he pulls away from you, looking at you breathlessly, waiting for you to explain yourself or at least give him another kiss. But when he sees doubt in your eyes, he hugs you, squeezing you against him again.

“Please, don’t run away now”, he pleads. “I don’t think I can handle it, not after this”

“Jisung, I-”, you hesitate, trying to say the right thing.

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now”, he assures you. “I won’t expect anything from you until you are sure about your decision, so don’t worry about it”, he says.

“Okay”, you nod.

The fact that it seems like your feelings didn’t change at all, scares you. How could you try so hard to get over him but still feel the same? If he hadn’t come around to like you, would you have struggled your whole life with your unrequited love? It didn’t happen but the ‘what if’ is haunting you and you can’t give him an answer until this feeling goes away.

The trip back home is quiet, not as awkward as you thought it would be but Jisung seems lost in thoughts and you are not very different. You don’t know why you keep letting all these intrusive thoughts win over your mind, if it was before your confession, you’d jump in his arms at the mere mention of him liking you back, so why is it so different now? Why are you so hesitant?

“Do you want pizza?” He asks, as soon as you enter Seoul again.

“Yeah”, you nod, looking at him.

Jisung changed too, he’s treating you the same as he always did but it seems different somehow, you just can’t quite grasp what changed. He looks more mature, like something switched inside of him and that makes you a bit nervous. You’re not so familiar with this Jisung, you can’t predict what he’s gonna do next or what he’s thinking. Your best friend doesn’t look just like your best friend anymore and maybe that’s the whole point. If things stayed the same would it feel like you were dating? Would you understand that you don’t have to hide your feelings anymore? That you can kiss him and be jealous of him? If things stayed the same, would you let yourself love him freely?

“So she kissed you”, Chan points out, eyes squeezed, trying to make sense of the situation, “and she hasn’t talked about it since?”

“Yeah”, Jisung pouts, “but in her defense, I told her I didn’t need an answer immediately”

“And that was your mistake”, Hyunjin says, “you have anxiety, you always need answers immediately”

“Well, you’re not wrong”, Jisung sighs, “but I didn’t want her to feel pressured. Especially since it looked like she was about to run away if I said anything abrupt”.

“I guess she’s just confused”, Chan tries to help, “but the fact that she kissed you is a good sign”

“You think so?” Jisung looks at his older friend with puppy eyes, hopeful.

“Yeah, of course”, Chan chuckles.

“You know what?” Changbin comes in from the kitchen, he’s been listening to the whole story but didn’t say a thing until now. “You should do something romantic for her”

“Like what?” Jisung asks.

“Think about something that would be touching, something that has to do with your story together”, Chan advises, making the youngest think.

Jisung frowns, there's something that comes to mind but would you like that? Until now, he has tried to be subtle in his ways of approaching you. He wakes up earlier than you everyday and makes you eat before you go to class. He's always home when you come back at night, waiting with snacks and a movie for you two to watch together. You have been discovering a new side of him, even though you thought you knew everything about your best friend, but now Jisung watches you with heart eyes.

Would you like it if he was more romantic? He’s not even sure if you’re into that kind of thing, the boyfriends you had never made big gestures like that and you didn’t seem to care. Would you like it if it's him doing it? Well, it doesn’t hurt to try.

“Okay, I think I know what to do”, Jisung decides.

You still haven't given an answer to Jisung and that's making you feel bad, what's holding you right now? You know he likes you, but what if things don't work out, will you be able to keep being friends after all that?

To take your mind out of that for a bit, you finally graduate, after what it felt like ages. You poured all your blood, sweat and tears in the years that you spent in college, now you're finally free.

Jisung's parents and yours came to the city for your graduation celebration. You organized a dinner in a good restaurant and the night was so much fun, you laughed till your stomach hurt and your friends brought up all your embarrassing stories through all the years you spent in college.

The morning after you had trouble even opening your eyes, any light was too much and your eyes refused to open. You hear a few knocks on the door of your room, making you groan, telling the person — Jisung probably, to enter.

“You should get ready”, he says, making you frown, eyes still closed. “Don't pretend that you're still sleeping, it's afternoon”, he whines.

“I'm not pretending, my eyes can't take this much light”, you explain, you shouldn't have drank so much.

Jisung walks past you, going to the window and closing the blinds.

“Now you have no excuses”, he teases, watching as you flutter your eyes open slowly.

“Why do I need to get ready, though?” You ask, sitting down.

“We are going out”

“We are?”

“Yes, so get ready”, he informs you, walking past you in the direction of the door and leaving with no further explanation. What's this guy planning now?

You get up, grab a towel and a change of clothes and go to take a shower, knowing that arguing won't take you anywhere.

Jisung is waiting for you in the car, a cup of coffee and a sandwich waiting for you.

“Shall we?” He asks, turning on the engine when you enter the car and close the door.

“Couldn't we have had breakfast inside?” You ask, biting on the sandwich.

“It's not a breakfast if it's already afternoon”, he rolls his eyes, “I ate a long time ago and we are already late”

“Late for what?” You enquiry, sipping on the coffee.

“It's a surprise”, he grins, eyes focused on the road.

You sigh, knowing that he won't tell you, so you just finish eating while watching the scenario change, buildings turning into threes and farms.

“Don't you know how to plan dates in the city?” You ask, making him laugh.

“I do, but I wanted to do something specific on this date and I had a bit of trouble finding it”, he tells you.

The sun is already starting to set when Jisung parks in front of a school, making you from, what kind of date is this? You ask, trying to understand, until you see a crowd.

You get out, walking by yourself while Jisung locks the car, hearing his footsteps after you a few seconds later.

“What's this?” You ask, when you see the booths spread around the campus and the families and students walking around.

“A school festival”, he smiles, watching as you turn to look at him, confusion in your face. “A little bird told me that you found out about your feelings for me right around the time I took Haneul to the school festival on elementary school”, he bites on his bottom lip, “and you were there to witness my first date, even though you liked me”, he sighs, “so I thought that maybe I could make it up for that time by bringing you to a school festival, just me and you”, he explains, making your heart skip a bit. You never thought Jisung could be this romantic, you never knew you liked this kind of romantic stuff either, but the way your heart is beating makes you think that you do.

“I- Jisung I-”, you try to say but you can't form a coherent sentence, making him smile.

“Let's go, I got a lot of prizes to win for you”, he informs, stretching his hand in your direction so you can hold it and you do, you hold his hand without a second thought, ignoring his red ears and how hot your cheeks are.

You walk around the place, going to every booth, watching the performances and eating to your heart's content. Jisung is giving you food like his life depends on it, it's a mission of his to make you eat everything you set your eyes on and when you can't finish he does it for you, but he wants you to try everything.

“How are we supposed to carry all this?” You ask, arms full of the plushies he earned you.

“Like we are doing right now”, he answers, as if he has not been dropping the ones he's carrying all the time.

“You know the children must hate you, right?”

“It's not my fault if I have the power of love to help me win the big prizes”, he winks at you, making you feel your cheeks hot.

“Let's go, it's already late”, you tell him, walking faster in the direction of the car so Jisung won't notice how flustered you got.

You stuff the plushies in the backseat, feeling a few drops of rain fall on your face when you close the door, making you run to the passenger seat to escape. Jisung comes right after you, starting the car and driving back to the road.

“Can you check the forecast? I did it in the morning and there was nothing about rain”, he asks, the rain outside getting stronger.

“Sure”, you take your phone out of your pocket, searching for news about the weather. “It seems like it's one of those rains that start out of nowhere”, you explain, “and it's not going to stop any time soon”, you watch the dark road, little to no lighting.

“Should we look for a hotel, then?” Jisung asks, making you turn to him with wide eyes. “Hey! Don't get any weird ideas, we are going to separate rooms”, he informs you, covering his chest like you have the dirtiest mind.

“I didn't say anything”, you retort, crossing your arms.

“Hmph, but you thought”, he murmurs. “Can you look for a place nearby?” He asks but you were already doing that.

There's a nice hotel a few minutes from where you are and when you call them, they tell you there are rooms available but when you get there things are different.

“So… they only have a room”, you say, fidgeting.

“It's fine, I can sleep on the floor”, he shrugs, pressing for the elevator to come to you.

“Actually there are separate beds, so there's no need”, you chuckle, seeing his ears turning red.

“Great, that's great. My back appreciates it”, he rumbles, flustered like an idiot making you laugh.

The rain seems to get worse outside, now adding thunder and lightning to the chaos. The room is comfortable and clean, there's a bathroom and a minibar so you can eat something.

You take your coat, throwing it in one of the beds and walk to the window, closing the blinds and shivering watching the lightning outside. Jisung opens the fridge, looking inside to see if there’s anything interesting to eat and grabbing a bottle of water.

“Do you want it?” He asks, making you turn to look at him and nod, waiting as he walks to you, handing you the bottle.

“I think we should get to sleep soon, so we can go back early tomorrow”, you say, gulping the water and Han nods, finishing his.

You two get on your beds, it's weird to sleep in the same room as him after so long. You turn your back to him, hoping that not seeing his face is going to make it easier for you to sleep.

However, a thunder rumbles so loudly sounding like it's right by your room's window, making you jump.

“Jeez”, you squeal, covering your face with the blanket.

“Are you alright?” Jisung's voice sounds behind you, making you turn to look at him. He's staring at you, brows knit together in worry.

“I'm fine”, you tell him, even though you're not so sure.

“I know you're afraid of storms”, he sighs, biting on his bottom lip. “Do you want me to lay down with you? So you won't be so scared?”

You feel heat spreading all over you just by thinking about sleeping in the same bed as Jisung. You slept together a hundred times before so it shouldn't be so embarrassing to do it once more, but you're not sure if you're going to be able to behave if you go there.

“There's no need”, you tell him, closing your eyes and trying to fall asleep when another thunder sounds out there, seeming so much louder than before and making you jump again. “You know what? I think I'll accept your offer”, you say, watching as Jisung sits down, grabbing his pillow and blanket, standing up to move to your bed. He lays down so far from you that he's almost falling from the mattress.

“I won't bite you”, you roll your eyes, turning to look at him, facing the middle of the bed.

“I wouldn't mind if you did”, he chuckles, “I just don't want to make you uncomfortable”, he says and even with the darkness of the room, you can see his cheeks reddening when he gets closer.

“You won't make me uncomfortable, it's okay”, you put your arm down your pillow and the other one on top, your hand beneath your head, watching as Jisung fidgets, trying to find a good position without touching you. “Do I make you uncomfortable?” You enquiry, seeing as his eyes widen and he shakes his head frantically.

“Not at all, you're the person whom I feel the most comfortable with”, he confesses, making your cheeks burn and something more spread through your whole body.

Maybe things need to change. What then, if things don't workout? If you were going to think that way, you should have never confessed to your best friend in the first place. You decided to risk it all when you told him about your feelings and now he's the one pouring himself to you, waiting for you to choose him once more.

“If I asked you to kiss me now, would you?” You ask, gulping down, trying to stay calm even though your heart just turned into a hammer in your chest.

“Can I?” He asks, hopeful, watching as you nod slowly. His hands cup your face and in the split of a second his lips are on yours, his fingers caress your cheeks delicately and he holds you like you're the most fragile thing in the whole world.

This kiss is so much better, kissing him while being certain about what you're feeling is delightful. His kiss is still soft and sweet, yearning and hungry as if he's been waiting for this for a long time.

You slide your hands down his shirt, going to his back and digging your nails on his skin. He sighs on your lips, letting a little groan escape his mouth. Jisung's hands go down from your face too, sliding to your waist and hips to pull you closer to him, pressing your body against his.

When you two find it too difficult to breathe, he pulls away from you, trailing kisses down your jaw and your neck, biting on your soft skin, making you moan. Your eyes widen in embarrassment but Jisung looks at you with dark eyes, licking on his lips.

“You sound so good, please don't hold back”, he pleads, going back to marking you. “Can I take it off?” He asks, grabbing the hem of your shirt, making your whole face burn as you nod, sitting down so he can pull the piece of fabric out of your body. He watches as your chest rises and falls, you lay back down, looking around extremely flustered but he can't take his eyes out of you. You're the prettiest woman he ever got to know and he's so in love with you that it feels like his heart is about to explode.

Jisung leans closer to your face, kissing you again as you let your hands wander through his body, sliding them to his hips and digging your nails on his skin, pulling him against you, feeling his length pressing on your thigh.

“You're so pretty”, he sings praises as he kisses down your collarbone, reaching your breast and his hands go to your back, undoing your bra.

“Stop staring”, you feel your cheeks burning with the way his eyes wander through your chest.

“I can't, you're too beautiful”, he answers, leaning down do suck on your hardened peaks.

“Ji-Jisung”, your hands fly to his hair as you press him against your breasts, “that's so good”, you sigh, feeling his tongue circling around your nipple.

Jisung starts humping against your clothed core, making you gasp and groan as your hands cup his face, bringing him back to kiss you. He doesn't stop the movements of his hips, rubbing his hard cock and sighing on your lips.

“Can I eat you out?” He asks, biting on your bottom lip as he pulls away from you.

His eyes are dark like you have never seen, like he's in a daze but the reality is that Jisung is too drunk on your scent and your warmth to think about how lustful he may look at that moment.

“How much do you want it?” You tease, making him sigh, looking at you with puppy eyes, his hands going to the waistband of your pants, pulling it slightly away from your hips and playing with it, wanting to pull it down but waiting for your permission.

“I want to taste you so bad, you have no idea”, he bites on his bottom lip, “I feel like I might die if I don't feel your pussy clenching around my tongue right now”, he pleads, making your hips involuntarily thrust against his shaft, making him groan, “fuck. This is torture, please let me taste you, please”, he begs.

“I like it when you beg”, you try to pretend you're not dying to have his mouth down on you, “go ahead”

In a second Jisung is pulling your pants down, your panties going with it, he has no time to waste. He rushes to fit in between your legs, setting them over his shoulders as he kisses your inner thighs, trailing kisses closer and closer to your aching cunt.

“I can feel the scent of your arousal”, he teases, taking a deep breath, “You smell so good, baby”, he completes, making you groan in embarrassment.

“What are you, a dog?” You retort, trying to ignore the burning on your face.

“Only for you”, he grins before diving in on your pussy. Jisung attaches his mouth to your clit, the warmth of his tongue spreading all over your body and you lead your hands to his hair again, pressing him against your core. His fingers dig on your thighs like he wants to mark you, putting more strength on the way his face sticks between your legs.

“Jisung- fuck, Sungie”, you whine feeling his arm moving, his finger being inserted inside your folds. He thrust them in and out, eyes closed as he enjoys your taste, the way your juices spill all over the bed sheets, he wants every bit of it in his mouth but there's just too much, he can't have it all. It's okay though, he's planning to lick you clean everyday from now on, every time he makes you come on his tongue, he's not going to let any of your juices go to waste.

He puts another finger inside you, finally opening his eyes when he feels your walls fluttering around his knuckles.

“Fuck, are you gonna cum baby?” He asks, the look of pleasure in your face is so much that he has to hump against the bed to get some relief, his cock is throbbing so much, he feels he can cum just by looking at you.

“Y-hmm”, you are unable to form a whole word, the feeling spreading all over your body is too overwhelming, it's making you dazed and you can't think properly but you nod to him, hoping Jisung can understand that he shouldn't stop, not right now.

“Shit, y/n, come for me, please, I want to taste you coming on my tongue”, he tells you, going back to licking your cunt. He can feel the moment you cum, not just because you moan so loudly he thinks the other people on that floor can hear it but because your hole gets tighter around his fingers. You arch your back, hands going to the sheets as you grab them for dear life.

As you come down from your high, you're embarrassed to open your eyes. You never thought Jisung was one to do the whole dirty talking thing but if you think about it, there are quite a couple of things you didn't know about him.

You feel his kisses coming up your stomach, forcing you to open your eyes, you prop up on your elbows, watching him sneaking closer to you.

“Was it good?” He asks and you feel your whole face burning again but you nod anyways, feeling breathless when he smiles brightly, ears turning red.

You're ready to ask something but the huge bulge in his pants makes you gulp, staring for a second until his eyes follow yours and he blushes, turning with his stomach down so he can hide that part from you.

“Can I suck you off too?” You ask, licking your lips, suddenly eager to feel him coming on your mouth.

“I- I really want you to”, he clears his throat, looking around embarrassed, “but I don't think I'm gonna last long if I feel your pretty lips around me”, he says, making a huge smile grow on your lips.

“I never thought you'd be such a sweet talker in bed”, you confess, still squirming to his words.

Jisung smiles, leaning closer to you know, his chest pressed against yours and his length brushing on your leg.

“So, did you thought about how it would feel like if I fucked you?” His eyes darken again.

“I mean, lately you have been showing too much skin, it would be impossible for me not to have any dirty thoughts”, you confess.

“Fuck”, he groans, “do you want to keep goin?” He asks, kissing your neck, going up to your jaw and then your lips, “I don't have a condom but I'm sure we can make it work without putting it in”, he stares at you expectantly.

You feel the warmth on your lower stomach spread to all your body, shouldn't you feel less turned on now that you came?

“I- I'm on the pill, so…” you start saying and his eyes widen to your suggestion.

“Are you sure, it's okay if we don't-”

“I want to”, you assure him, “I want to feel all of you inside me, you have no idea how much I want to”, you plead and Jisung breathes a laugh, he's glad to see you're as desperate as he is.

“Okay”, he nods, “but if you want to stop at any time just tell me”, he says as he gets up from the bed to take his pants and underwear off.

When Jisung cock springs out of his underwear, hitting his stomach, you can't hold the moan that escapes your lips as you watch how painfully hard he is. He crawls back to your side, letting his hand rest on your stomach as he kisses you again.

“Do you have a position you want to be in?” He asks, shyly, as if you both are not fully naked in front of each other.

“I'd like to stay on top if it's okay”, you whisper and he nods.

“Yeah, I'd love that”, he says, laying down after giving you a peck on the lips. You take a deep breath before kissing him too, mouth trailing down his jaw and neck. You mark him, giving him hickeys all around his chest.

Jisung cups your face, bringing your lips to his as you throw a leg over his hip, rubbing your wet folds on the length of his cock, that small stimulation making you moan.

“Shit, you're so hot”, he whines, biting on his bottom lip as he stares at you. You chuckle, grabbing his shaft and positioning it on your entrance, closing your eyes and sighing to the mere pressure of his head splitting your foulds in a half. You sink down on his cock, moaning loudly, feeling him stretching you out perfectly.

“Oh- oh, this is so good, fuck”, you whine, letting yourself get used to the feeling.

“You're so tight”, he groans, hands going straight to your hips, digging his fingers on the flesh. “It feels so good inside you”

Jisung closes his eyes, overwhelmed with you, it's too much, your warmth is hugging him, making him whine and groan like an animal. But he wants you to feel as good as he's feeling, so he takes one of his hands from your hip to your mouth, brushing his middle and index fingers on your lips.

“Suck on them, baby”, he asks, making you moan and do as you're told. Jisung grins, taking his hand down to your core and pressing them on your clit, making circles around the puffy bud.

“Ah- Sungie, that's- that's too much”, you whine riding him slowly, feeling your orgasm growing at each passing second. The knot on your stomach ready to burst when you feel his cock throbbing inside you, making you open your eyes to look at him.

He's stunning even coming undone beneath you, Jisung has his lips partially open, his hair stuck on his sweaty forehead and his moans are just like music to your years, the prettiest sound he ever made and it's just yours now, it's just for you to hear it.

“I'm gonna come! Y/n, I'm gonna come”, he warns you so you can get off him if you want to but you sink deeper, causing him to reach his orgasm, spilling his hot cum inside you. You follow him shortly when he puts more pressure on your clit while he's coming, making you tremble and moan as you spasm with pleasure.

You fall down on his chest, feeling Jisung's arms wrap around you as he gently lays you down by his side. He pulls the blanket to cover you and gives you a kiss on the top of your head as he watches you blinking into sleep.

Jisung wakes up to an empty bed. His hand wanders through the sheets, searching for your warm body to snuggle in as he opens his eyes but he finds nothing, just a cold space.

He sits on the bed to look around, trying to find you but you're nowhere to be seen and suddenly dread takes over him. Did you go home? Did you leave him behind? Did you regret spending the night with him?

Those thoughts break his heart, he looks around once more just to make sure he's not mistaken and you're actually there with him. He gets up, putting on sweatpants and walking to the bathroom. He knocks a few times, hoping that you're there, that you're going to tell him to wait because you're in there but no sound comes back to him and when he opens the door the space is empty.

Jisung sits down on the edge of the bathtub, he wants to cry. He shouldn't have expected you to stay with him just because you spent one night together, he should have known that, but why does it hurt so much? Why does he feel like a part of his heart was ripped out?

He sighs, guessing this is your answer to his confession. Could you still be friends after what happened last night? He can't be sure. He goes around the room, collecting the rest of his things and finishing getting dressed, couldn't you have waited for him? The keys are still on the table, so how did you go home without the car?

When he's grabbing said keys though, the room's door swings open, welcoming in a very sweaty you.

“Ah, you're up?” You pout, “I thought I would be able to come back before you woke up”, you smile. How can you smile like that when you just broke his heart? How could you have disappeared?

“You came back?” He asks, arms falling limp by his sides. He stares at you with the eyes of a wounded puppy and that's when you know you did something you shouldn't.

“Yeah? You thought I left you?” You tease, trying to be funny but when he sulks, eyes growing glossy, it sinks in. “You did”, you come to the conclusion, closing the door behind you.

You walk to Jisung, putting the bag you have in your hands on the table.

“I went to buy breakfast but it turns out there aren't many places that sell decent food around here”, you explain, “it ended up taking more time than it was supposed to, I should have left a note. I'm sorry”

“I thought you had decided that you didn't want to stay with me”, Jisung whines, “that after last night you found out that I'm not enough for you anymore. That I really ruined everything”, he cries out, a single tear running down his cheek.

“Jisung, of course I wouldn't leave you behind even if I had decided I didn't want to date you”, you tell him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, trying to give him some reassurance.

“I was even preparing a speech in my head”, he pouts, “about how even if we don't date I'd still see you the same way. I'd be by your side forever even if it's not romantically, I'd be happy to watch you live your life, even if it's with someone else as long as you were happy”, he tells you. “Your love was already something I couldn't reach so I'm grateful that you gave me the chance to show you how much I love you”

“So you're going to be happy even if I marry someone else?” You question, making him sulk even more.

“I won't be happy but if you're that's enough for me”

“But I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be happy that I'm marrying someone else”, you tell him, smiling slightly as you watch the sentence you just said sink in on him and the sparkling grow in his eyes.

“Bo-boyfriend?” He asks, hesitant.

“Of course, or did you think I'd smash then dash?” You chuckle, his cheeks turn red and he pouts pulling you closer with the hand you have holding yours.

“So you love me back, right?” He questions, making you smile, nodding.

“I do”

“‘Cause I love you so much it feels like my heart is about to burst”, he says, putting your hand on his chest, his heart beating like crazy, making you smile. “Then, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“Ye-”, his lips are on yours before you can finish the sentence, making you sigh, just forgetting about the breakfast and also to check out, calling the reception and updating your stay for another half day.

When you show up at Jeongin’s birthday holding hands and looking lovey dovey, everyone sighs relieved and you have to hear Minho’s and Seungmin's sarcastic ass saying “finally” and “I thought I would die before you two would finally fuck”, respectively.

Your daily life with Jisung went about almost the same as before, except that now you'd basically share the same room, you'd rarely sleep in yours. You make food and take it to the company when he's too busy, sometimes you even stay there till late in the night, waiting for him to finish recording so he can come home with you and cuddle in bed until you two fall asleep.

Your parents don't make a big deal about it, you swore your father would make you move to another place after the news came out but he just sighed, telling you that he knew this would happen someday and that he's happy you are dating someone as good as Jisung.

A few months go by and your relationship is still going smoothly. Of course you have some arguments here and there but nothing that you can't fix with a conversation.

You accepted the proposal of the guys to go touring with them and that's how you ended up in their dressing room, waiting for them to get back there after their last show on the tour.

The door opens and you hear the boys' loud voices coming in, greeting them and telling how nice the show was.

“You see how hard your future husband works?” Jisung brags, walking up to you and pulling you aside. He wraps his arms around you and you feel your cheeks burn, you still feel flustered to hear him saying this kind of thing.

“Future husband?” You tease, giggling as he pouts, frowning.

“Yeah, or do you let any man do this to you?” He pulls you closer and gives you a peck on the lips.

“Maybe?” You tease, making him stare at you with his brows raised, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

“It seems like you need some punishment”, he sighs, looking at his hands before attaching them to your stomach, tickling you.

“Stop!” You scream, laughing and trying to get away from him.

“Say you're only mine”, he pouts, tickling you even more.

“Jisung, I'm gonna kill you”, you struggle to say between giggles.

“I'll die happily if you say I'm the only one for you”, he pushes, pressing his fingers even harder against your stomach.

“Okay, alright”, you give in, making him stop to look at you. “You are the only one for me and I'm all yours, happy?” You roll your eyes, watching his pout turning into a big smile.

“Say it one more time”, he whines.

“I love you”, you say, making Jisung stare at you for a moment, before his cheeks start turning pink.

“I'll never get tired of hearing that”, he smiles, holding your hand and bringing it to his mouth for him to kiss. “I love you”, he says, leaning in for a kiss, the sweetest you have ever shared.

A/N: If you like my work, please don't forget to reblog, it really helps my stories reach new people so more readers can come to enjoy what I write.

If you want to support me you can also buy me a coffee ☕

Taglist(in red are the ones I couldn't tag): @hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @starsandrqindrops @itshannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98 @blithevix @astro-doll-the-star @captainchrisstan @rag-iii @notastraykid @jisunghannie @applepie-macaroon @stayingdelulu @sundayysunshine @kidrauhlschik @wolfennracha @meloncremesoda @hanschimpmunk @realrintaro @teejisung @maexc @gyustarzzi @ivaneedssleep @chaeryred @daemon-bunny @broken-glowsticks @ch4nniebang @sleepyleeji @seukijeuxq @luvbangchan @lovesunshinefelix @hyunjins-dimples @castielsfrillywhiteknickers @armystaytiny @literallyjustwanttoread @jungkookies1002 @diorggukie @channieandhisgoonsquad @mamabymychem @ladylexis @bmnyy

[theotherbuckley]

I like you (because you're you) - bucktommy 2K

read on ao3

“Who was that?” Tommy asks, walking up to where Buck’s sat on the couch, phone placed down in his lap. They’d just finished dinner, Buck had cooked a delicious pasta dish that had Tommy coming back for seconds. He’d told Buck how much he liked it, and Buck had promised he’d make it again before his phone started buzzing and he’d apologised before taking the call.

Buck gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. His cheerful self from earlier seemingly replaced with a faded version. He has this distant look in his eyes which he quickly blinks away before he speaks. “Uh, that was my friend Connor. He, uh, just wanted some of my medical records.” He waves his hand like it’s no big deal. It isn’t. Not really. His brain is just being stupid, is all.

Tommy raises his eyebrows before frowning. “Why’d he need those?” He questions, coming to sit down next to Buck. He places his hand on Buck’s thigh momentarily, squeezing softly like he just knows that Buck needs a little bit of comfort right now even if he doesn’t quite understand why.

“Uh, their son was at a doctor's appointment, just having a check-up or something, and I’m well— they used my sperm so, you know, they just want to make sure everything is in order, I guess,” he rushes out the last part, desperate to get the words out like if he says it fast enough Tommy won’t even realise what he’s said and it won’t cause any issues. 

Tommy’s brows rise further as he takes that in. Buck watches him process, afraid that his life will once again be too much for someone, and they’ll walk out. It’s what people do — when Buck inevitably becomes too much and when they decide what he’s offering, what he can’t give them, isn’t enough in return, they leave.

“Is that— is that a problem?” Buck hates the way his voice wavers as he speaks. Hates the way he can’t hide his emotions at all. He really likes Tommy, really wants him to stick around. He’ll do what he can to make that happen. He’ll make himself more useful so that Tommy won’t want to leave. He’ll—

“No, no, of course not.” Tommy says it like there’s no other answer. Like he can’t imagine anyone thinking that’s a problem. Buck waits for the inevitable ‘but’.

“But.” Buck braces. “But I’m just surprised I’ve never heard of this guy before is all,” Tommy says. Buck exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Oh uh, yeah, we— we aren’t really close.”

“But you donated sperm for him?” There’s genuine confusion in his voice.

“Yeah, well, I guess— he asked. I may not have spoken to him in a while but, I wasn’t gonna say no.”

“You have the biggest heart, Evan. I think what you did is incredibly honourable. How are they doing now?” Tommy asks gently, seemingly comfortable to move the conversation on.

“I’m—I'm not actually sure.” He sighs. “That was the first time they’d called since the birth. And that was only because they needed something.” He laughs at the end like his words don’t speak to some greater insecurity deep inside him. Like it doesn’t hurt that his friend hasn’t talked to him until they needed him.

“Ah,” Tommy says, and Buck can here the judgement dripping from his mouth. He’s not sure exactly what he’s done, but it’s always something. Maybe he should have been the one to check in on them, maybe—

“I don’t think he sounds like a very good friend,” Tommy states. 

Buck frowns, he didn’t expect him to say that. The truth is, Buck sometimes wonders that himself. What he lands on instead is that there must be something wrong with him. Because it’s not just Connor who wants things from him and then doesn’t care about any other part of Buck. It’s just how it’s always been. People take, and Buck gives. He gives, and he gives, and it’s never quite enough, but he tries.

“Sometimes I feel like people only like me when I’m useful,” Buck admits in a whisper, letting the words stuck inside his head free. It’s not that he thinks it; he knows it. He knows he’s only worth something when people can use him, and he’s lived with that his whole life. He was born to save someone, and he failed, but that’s his whole purpose even now. 

He saves people for a living. He’ll babysit whenever anybody asks, he’ll be your trivia partner when you need to win. He’ll let his friends use him for his sperm. And it’s not that he doesn’t want to. He does. He loves doing these things for his friends because he can. But sometimes it hurts a little knowing that it’s not him that they want. They just… like his ability to do things.

“Evan, I like you. Regardless of anything you can or can’t do. I like you.” Tommy emphasises the you like Buck being Buck is somehow special.

Buck can’t stop the wet laugh that escapes his throat. He shakes his head, sniffles before composing himself. “No, no,” he says, because it’s not true, it can’t be. “But—but it’s okay because I’ll make sure you don’t get bored of my I-I’ll cook dinner, and I’ll do the dishes, and I’ll make sure we always win at trivia and— and I don’t know anything about cars or Muay Thai, but I’ll learn.” Buck’s rambling, the words tumbling out of his mouth in one breath. He needs to make sure Tommy knows that he’ll do his best; even if it’s hard, he’ll be useful because then Tommy will stay, and he really wants Tommy to stay.

“Evan.” It’s that soft voice again. Placating, like he’s talking to a small child. Like he’s trying to get him to listen.

Buck shifts his gaze from the floor to Tommy. He looks sad. Buck wishes he wasn’t the one to make him look like that. He tries to smile at him, anything to bring those soft creases at the edges of Tommy’s eyes back, but his heart’s not really in it.

“Evan,” Tommy says again, locking his eyes on Buck’s. “You don’t need to be useful for me to like you. I like you because you’re adorable. I like you because you’re funny and you don’t care what people think. ‘Who cares’, right?” Tommy chuckles. Buck likes that sound. “I like that you were willing to try again with me, even if you bought me god-awful coffee with it.” Buck lets out a wet chuckle at that. “I look at you, Evan, and I see someone who cares so deeply about your friends. Willing to put your life on the line for others. But it’s more than that, I like the way you ramble about random things you find on the internet, and how you try out 100 different lasagna recipes because you need to find the right one even though you burn half of them.”

“Hey!” Buck says in weak protest. He’s right, though. There’s a warmth in his chest at the fact that Tommy noticed.

Tommy keeps going. “I like how big your smile gets when you talk about Chris or Jee-Yun. I like the way that your cheeks turn the colour of your birthmark when you’re flustered. I just— I really like you, Evan. You could— you don’t have to cook for me every day or give me the answers at trivia night for me to want you to stick around. I like you because you’re you.”

Buck can’t stop the tears trickling down his cheeks. His whole life has been about being useful, and it’s so hard to believe anything different but the way Tommy talks about him. Like maybe he really does see him. “I don’t know how to— I want to believe you but it’s just, every relationship I’ve had has felt like people want something from me. Abby needed help when her mom died, and then she just left. I always felt like Ali just wanted a place to crash when she was in town. I mean, she’s the reason I have this apartment in the first place. Taylor just wanted sex at first, and then she started getting insights into news stories from the firehouse, and she always valued that more than spending time with me. She’d ask me how my day was, not because she cared but because she wanted to know if there was anything worth writing about. Hell, she even published a book about me. Even after it was over, she used me as much as she could.” The tears are flowing faster now, and his voice cracks as he speaks. It’s stupid to get so emotional about this, but Buck can’t stop now. Now that he’s opened the faucet of this insecurity of his, it’s like everything he’s been bottling inside is bubbling to the surface and he can’t stop it.

“And Nat—Natalia,” Buck continues, hiccuping through his tears. “She just wanted to understand my death. Asked me a hundred— a hundred questions about what it was like, and at first, I thought maybe she could actually see me, but I feel like she was just using me for something too.” Buck wipes his face. He’s sure he must look like a mess right now — tear-streaked face, snot dripping down from his nose. Tommy doesn’t deserve to deal with all this. “Sorry,” Buck chuckles,  the sound getting caught in his throat. “You didn’t need to hear about all that.”

“Hey,” Tommy says, moving closer towards Buck. He tucks his fingers under Buck’s chin forcing him to look Tommy in the eyes. He holds Buck’s face tenderly in his hand, always so gentle. “You can talk to me about anything, and I will listen, okay?”

“I don’t want to bore you,” Buck says softly, moving to look down at the ground once more but Tommy doesn’t let him get away, holding him firmly yet soft, like Buck’s something precious.

“You couldn’t,” Tommy replies sincerely. “If it weren’t for you, how else would I know that the Australians started a war on emus, huh?” He jokes.

“And lost,” Buck whispers because he can’t help it.

“And lost!” Tommy repeats. Buck had gone on a tangent about it just the other day. He’d gone to the zoo with Christopher, and they’d been having a lot of fun until they stood too close to the fence, and an emu had come up and startled them. Buck had decided in that moment that he needed to find out every single detail about them, which led him to discovering that in 1932, Australia declared war on emus —and then proceeded to lose. He’d met up with Tommy after and rambled about his findings because he thought it was absolutely hilarious. Tommy sat there smiling at him, evidently listening to every word that he said, taking it in and remembering it all.

“I like listening to you talk, Evan. I like you. And I’ll tell you that as much as you need to hear. Now,” Tommy claps his hands together. “Tomorrow, I’m cooking for you. You don’t need to do anything except sit there and look pretty. Let someone do something for you for once. Okay?”

Buck just nods, wiping at his eyes before slumping into Tommy’s now open arms and relishing in the comfort of his boyfriend. He doesn’t quite believe him, not yet. He wants to. It’s just prior experience has moulded his brain a certain way and now he just can’t believe any different. He wants to. He wants someone to like him, to love him, even when he can’t be useful. He hopes that maybe Tommy will show him that that’s possible.

For now, he tucks his head into Tommy’s shoulder, clutches onto him like he’s going to disappear and lets himself be held. Tommy kisses his birthmark like it’s sacred, holds him and tells him he likes him over and over. Buck thinks maybe he really does.

[kopivie]

share some hades!wrio headcanons? I'm actually SO invested i'm going to die

oh! i think i can come up with a few! it'll probably be some facts about him, and maybe some writing? (note: i'm coming back after finishing this and.. i got so carried away.)

(also as a side note, if i were to write a fic about this, i might use a lot of greek/ancient greek terms and words, so if you see something like that, please don't be alarmed.)

first and foremost, i'm definitely clinging to That One Part of wriothesley's canon lore of him abandoning the name given to him before his murder trial. canonically, he just picked up the name "wriothesley" from an obituary because he didn't want to use the one his foster parents gave him. what that name was, we will probably never know (unless it's said in his story quest, which i haven't done yet.) that said, allow me to jump into my hades!wriothesley hcs :D

"wriothesley" is a name that very few actually use. much like canon, people often refer to him as "your grace". however, he has many, many monikers; "the duke of meropide" and "king of the underworld" are just two of many.

underworld residents (or to overworlders, meropide prisoners) coined a bunch of new terms to refer to the elusive duke: aides or aidoneus (meaning "the unseen" or "the invisible one"), orcus (meaning "killer" or "the one who kills"), ditis pater/dis pater/dis (all meaning something along the lines of "rich one"), or clymenus (meaning "the illustrious" or "the revered one")

note: these are all actual names used to refer to hades in greek mythology.

no one calls him those names to his face or in his presence. those names are spoken in whisper -- saying any of those names seems to evoke a physical reaction to anyone who may have been in the fortress long enough to understand the weight behind those names.

hades!wriothesley is not a benevolent being. he is extremely objective. he seldom makes emotional decisions, which leads people to believe that at times, he has no emotions to speak of. (which isn't true, obviously.) his impartial decisions have cost many a life.

i think that because he doesn't rely on his emotions when making many decisions, that is the reason why he goes overboard when it comes to you. it's a little like shaking an unopened soda bottle for an hour and then suddenly opening the top.

wriothesley's love overflows, it gushes, it stains everything it touches. it seeps into every pore and changes you from the inside out. the problem with this, however, is that you resist this change initially.

you are receptive to his... i don't wanna call it advances, since that often has a negative connotation. wriothesley is anything but pushy and inappropriate. he's gentlemanly and chivalrous, so much so that you almost want to scream sometimes. let's call it courting — you allow him to court you, although you keep him at a distance.

why do you keep him at a distance? i... don't really know. perhaps someone can send in a suggestion. but the point is that you don't fully indulge yourself -- sometimes you do, but you become slightly distant and apologetic afterwards. wriothesley understands and is happy to be patient with you, but...

i think my suggestion for your hesitancy would be that you can feel the love that he exudes, and it scares you. you're afraid of what might happen if you allow yourself to sink too deep.

and that... that is probably why you resent him when he takes you to the fortress. that's part of the reason, anyhow. you were afraid of drowning and he literally took you to the bottom of the sea. in a metaphorical sense, he basically tied a brick to your ankles and dragged you down to his own depths against your will. you can't fight, you can't resist -- you can only endure. that is why you're angry with him.

"why do you resent me so?"

hades has the audacity to ask you such a question as you study a flower that he'd brought back from his latest visit to the overworld. you hadn't known of his departure, but when he gifted you this fresh plant, you felt something ugly and bitter stir within you. you became fixated on it, deciding to hole yourself up in your room to spend time with the only thing that gave you peace. you don't react to his question.

he stays quiet for a while, but he doesn't leave. after about five minutes, he inquires again. "please, blossom. i must know. i just wish to make you happy."

you all but slam your hand down on your desk. "happy? you want to make me happy?" you haven't raised your voice, but your tone is as icy as the vision that dangles from his clothing. "set me free. let me go home."

wriothesley is quiet again. "...will you at least look at me?"

the wetness in your eyes forces you to shake your head. "you haven't earned my gaze."

"and what must i do to earn it?"

"i've already told you."

"what else must i do?"

that gets you to turn around. "why are you so stubborn? what is preventing you from letting me go? you yourself can wander between the realms freely, but i can't?" your eyes sting with unshed tears, though the sensation doesn't last long. your frame trembles as you cry, and wriothesley cups your face to wipe the tears away. "do not touch me." you hiss at him.

wriothesley gives you a humorless smile. "you're not pushing me away."

...he's right. why aren't you pushing him away? "you haven't earned the right to touch me."

"haven't i?" hades is leaning in closer. you can smell peppermint on his breath. did he drink tea before coming? his thumb caresses your cheek. your eyes list to the side. "blossom," he calls you. "please."

you have a hard time resisting when he begs you like this. you hate how you let him get away with murder. he's trapped you here against your will, denied you of your freedom, and yet you still allow him to treat you like a deity. you allow him to do as he pleases. you don't feel threatened by him, no -- what you feel is his sincerity. his longing. his love.

you lock eyes with wriothesley. he's sharing a breath with you now. "wh-what do you want?" you ask. "you've already taken everything from me. how greedy can one man be?"

wriothesley's eyes glimmer in the lamplight. you can feel his gaze drop to your lips. his voice is noticeably deeper when he asks, "do you want to find out?"

you're not sure what you feel when he kisses you. the kiss is soft, sweet, and tastes of peppermint. his lips are warm, as is the rest of him. he licks into your mouth slowly and patiently, and you don't fight him.

because really, you've never wanted to push him away. you want to accept wriothesley for who he is, bloodied hands and all. you want him almost as bad as he wants you. and yet you just can't accept him in his entirety-- not as he is now. not when he's secretive and evasive. but his affection gives you some reprieve; his love gives you peace overwhelming, so much so that you let your own feelings shine through in moments like these.

you end the kiss first. you pull away, breathless, though you notice that he doesn't move an inch. after a brief silence, you finally speak. "you're too much for me." you murmur. "you'll be death of me."

wriothesley takes your hands in his. "for as long as i rule the underworld," he replies, "death will never find you. and that's a promise."

(also obligatory catte tag bc i need a fellow wrio lover to see this 🫡🩷 @catcze)

(p.s.: lemme know if i shouldn't tag you in this stuff, okay?)

[anime-fan-05]

Naruto ~First kiss 2nd part~

1st part is here.

I'm so proud of Gaara: he became Kazekage!

After everything that happened with the villagers, I'm so happy he has now managed to be accepted. Of course, there are still those who treat him badly, but I know that he'll never give in to his hatred again.

While I was deep in thought about my boyfriend, the investment ceremony ended. Oh no! I missed his speech!

In the meantime, Gaara came to me, so we could go to his celebratory refreshment together.

"Congratulations, Gaara!" I say and hug him.

"Thank you, honey." He returns the hug with love, holding me tightly to him. Then, we go to his refreshment.

As time goes by, I'm more and more nervous, since I will have to give him my gift: I decided I would give him a kiss, my first kiss.

How anxious! The time has come.

"Gaara -I get up- I want to tell you that I'm very proud of you. I also want to say thank you for always being by my side. So, now it's my turn: I'll be here for everything, okay? I may not be a strong and courageous kunoichi, but I can listen to you and help you if you need it." When I finish, Gaara has tears in his eyes.

"And as for my gift to you... I decided to give you something small, but significant. However, to give it to you, you will have to come here to me and close your eyes."

He looks at me questioningly, but he does as I told him anyway.

When he's facing me, I gently cup his cheeks and lower him slightly to my level, then I gently press my lips to his.

Today isn't a happy day for Kakashi, my boyfriend: thirteen years ago, during the Third Shinobi World War, his best friend Obito died.

I'm very worried about him, especially because he's been at K.I.A. stone all day.

I was so worried that I decided to go to him. Although I shouldn't invade his space, I'm too afraid: I fear he's suffering. And, if he suffers, I suffer too.

"Kashi?" I try to catch his attention.

He turns and looks at me. I can see his eyes: although he isn't crying, these are red and shiny. I know he's about to cry.

Without thinking twice, I run to hug him.

"I won't force you to talk, because I know you're very private about your feelings, but I'm here. I'm here if you want, if you need someone to be with you. I certainly won't be able to replace your father, Obito, Rin or Minato, but I can help you: I don't know if it's the same for you, but I think that even just the presence of someone can help us feel better. Seriously, I'm here and I will never leave you."

I feel him hug me back and bury his face in the hollow of my neck. I also feel wetness on my neck and light sobs.

After minutes of crying, he moves away from my neck, but he continues to hug me.

"Thank you, my love. I know I never say it, but I love you so much."

He lowers his mask with a lightning gesture, without giving me the chance to see his face, and captures my lips with his in a sweet kiss.

"Come on, (Y/N)-chan, give me a hug!"

"Tobi, please! I have to prepare our dinner!"

"But Tobi wants attention! Tobi was a good boy; Tobi deserves affection. Come on, (Y/N)-chan, hug me!"

"No, Tobi! If I hug you, you'll never let me go. Now, please, let me prepare dinner." It's the same as being engaged to a child! But Tobi is so cute, although at times he seems to transform into a more mature man. How strange...

"Tobi, I'll hug you only if you promise me you'll let me go cook."

"But Tobi wants to cuddle (Y/N)-chan!"

"Then, if you want tu cuddle me, you'll have to take off your mask. These are the two choices." When I look at Tobi, he's still.

"Tobi, are you ok? Sorry, I asked too much. Come -I open my arms- I'll give you a hug." However, he still remains motionless.

"No -here's his deeper tone again- I trust you enough to reveal my true identity to you." Really? Do you trust me that much?

After saying that, he takes his mask off, and I see...

"Obito?!" I can't believe it. He's alive!

"W-what... I thought you were... How..." I'm confused and I'm not understanding anything, but an incredible happiness spreads inside me: the person I loved as a girl is alive and is the person I'm in love with now.

Without even realizing it, I throw myself on top of him, hugging him tightly and starting to cry. He holds me close.

"Why don't you tell me? Don't you know how bad I felt, how much I suffered when I learned you were dead?"

"Sorry, (Y/N). I promise I'll answer all the questions you ask me. But first I want to give you another sign of my trust and love." Another sign?

He breaks away from our embrace and takes my right cheek with his hand, and his other hand gently takes my waist; after, he sweetly kiss me.

I'm really happy: today my boyfriend Itachi will return after a month-long mission! For this reason I decided to prepare him dango, his favorite dish.

As soon as I finish preparing dango, I hear the front door open, so I hastily hide the sweets and run to Itachi.

"Tachi -I hug him- you're back!" I feel him holding me tight, but it's different from his usual grip: this one is tighter, and he's holding me tight as if I could disappear at any moment.

"Are you ok, Tachi?"

"I'm sorry for making you worry, sweetheart. I'm fine, I was just thinking about how immensely lucky I am to be with you." His sentence makes me blush, but it also makes me wonder why he told me these things.

"Has something happened?"

"Yes, I met my brother when I searched for the Kyuubi with Kisame."

If only Sasuke and everyone else knew that Tachi did everything he did for his and Konoha's safety...

"You know I can't tell them." Did I say it out loud?

"L-let's go to eat? -I change the subject- I also made dango for you today!" I see his eyes light up and a small smile makes its way onto his face. So cute!

We eat in silence. I'm thinking about his words: he didn't tell me explicitly, but I know he wants Sasuke to kill him not knowing the truth about him. What will I do when he dies?

"(Y/N)? Are you ok?"

"Huh? O-oh, yes, I am."

"You're thinking about my words, right? -how does he know?- Don't worry: I decided all this. However, I won't die for two or three years, since Sasuke doesn't have enough hate in himself yet. And-"

"Oi, Itachi. Leader wants to meet us." No! You interrupted us, Kisame! By the way, who gave you permission to enter my house whenever you want? I'm engaged to Itachi, not to you!

"All right, I'm coming."

After donning the Akatsuki cloak, he turns to look at me: "Sorry, my love. We'll talk when I get back, but before..."

He comes over and hugs me gently; then, he bows his head slightly and he softly and gently presses his lips to mine, capturing them in our first kiss.

💮 Rules 💮 Masterlist 💮

[enkidusbi]

do you have any advice on writing a masters diss?

sure thing! of course, this is all my personal subjective experience but maybe some of this will be helpful:

first of all, pick a topic you care about. that's like the number one most important thing. and you can go from there

Find Sources

look for sources in libraries AND online

look for sources in the bibliography of other sources

you know those sites people tell you not to use in case you accidentally download a paywalled article or book? they are your friends

google lens & translate are also your friends for foreign language books with no editable pdf formats

Start Out Prepared

do an outline

keep your sources organized by the outline's topics in your folders so you can easily find what you're looking for

at first read, go through only the abstracts, introductions and conclusions/summaries. once you have a vague idea of what this is all about, you can go read the whole thing

if you have to do citations in a certain format (this is probably on your university website) familiarize yourself with it from the get go so you don't have to go back and re-format everything in the end

Talk to People

talk to your supervisor as often as you need. don't be afraid to ask questions, present your current theories, ask for suggestions, etc

if you can't find a source you know you need, ask for it! chances are they have a pdf or they know someone who knows someone who works in a university library on the other side of the world and can get it for you

listen to feedback and take criticism with grace. think about how the suggestions could improve your work. but if you still feel like your way is better, i encourage you to do it your way and give a reasoning to it. your supervisor is there to help you but it is ultimately your research

if you can, during your master's years, take your work to a conference in whatever half-baked form it's in. even as just a poster. get other experts to look at it, let them ask questions and offer you new perspectives. this was the single most valuable thing that happened to me during my thesis writing process

get together with friends and work on your dissertations in the same room. like parallel play, except it's parallel research. ask about their progress, tell them about yours. it can be so motivating to hear about other people's research questions, approaches and the problems they face. and sometimes it's just nice to have people to bitch together with

Miscellanous Tips

if you need to make a database, start working on the damn database (this was the hardest part for me)

make a to-do list and give your brain rewards chemicals by ticking off tasks you finished

have more tasks you can do at the same time. if you are tired of one thing, switch to another. if you're fed up with the database, go back to your sources and read an article. if you can't read because your brain stopped processing words, go and format your bibliography or edit your figures

take regular breaks and drink lots of water

make! citation notes! as you write!!!!!! you may hear a little voice in your head telling you "oh i'll just add these afterwards" don't listen to it, that's the devil talking

let yourself be fickle. your work is going to change as you progress. your initial theory or interpretation is going to be different from what you end up with. allow yourself that. it's proof that science happened in the meantime

take yourself seriously but not too seriously. your master's thesis doesn't have to be perfect. you will have an entire career ahead of you with more chances to grow

do it scared. do it uncompetent. do it uncertain

and most importantly, take it easy. but take it.

[rubykgrant]

(I'm still re-writing and editing the whole chapter, but I liked how this part turned out; a conversation between Jon and Martin while they're hiding out in Scotland, about love and their lives~)

If Martin didn’t know any better, he’d think they were just two regular people, out on a regular date.

“We could have been doing this for years. Just sitting together. Enjoying each other,” Jon murmurs, head resting on Martin’s chest.

“I would have liked that,” Martin says. He imagines himself and Jon before, how they were both awkward in different ways, how they each may have tried to help the other move past it, how it could have felt the first time Jon held him close, or how it could have felt when he realized he felt safe with Jon. Wanting to keep somebody, and also wanting to be kept, not being afraid to let it happen.

“We also could have had ANY other job…” Jon continues.

“One that, perhaps, wasn’t so hazardous to our health?” Martin finishes.

“Mmm, yes. Did you know- I nearly dropped out of university?”

“What, NO? Really? You?” Martin tries to picture Jon quitting, just leaving something behind, even something that was just causing him distress, and he can’t. Jon was more likely to “sunk-cost fallacy” himself to death.

“I was… struggling with a few classes, near the end. That wasn’t why I almost left, though. The university wanted me to see a counselor, just so I could have, as they put it, a ‘mental health refresher’. I, er- got a touch offended. And I decided for myself, I would either double-down and pass everything with top-grades, OR drop out. Because surely that would teach everybody a lesson,” Jon sighs, as if frustrated with his previous thought process. “If I had actually left, I probably wouldn’t have gone to work for the Magnus Institute. Who knows if we would have even met…”

“Wait, third option. What if you actually went for that mental health refresher?” Martin asks, and his voice quivers with a sudden attack of giggles. “B-because, Jon, I- I almost applied for a job as a receptionist at a counselor’s office!”

“Are you serious?” Jon is laughing a bit now, too.

“Yes! I wouldn’t have needed to lie on the CV or anything, either. The only reason I didn’t go for it- the job didn’t pay quite enough to afford everything I needed at the time,”

“So you’re telling me, we could have had an entirely DIFFERENT awkward encounter? With a whole other conflict of an inappropriate work relationship? Oh, if only, in another life…” Jon says in an overly dramatic, wistful tone.

“Hey, why would it be awkward? Or inappropriate?”

“Because, I would have walked into that office all- all pissed-off about everything, feeling insulted that anybody would even suggest I wasn’t absolutely FINE. If you thought I was insufferable before, you should have seen me while I was at university, especially near the end. I can promise you- charming I was NOT. I also couldn’t stop picking at the spots on my face,” Jon grimaces, thinking about himself.

“Fine, you were horrible. But so am I… if we did date back then, I would have been one of those people who always wants to get your acne spots for you. Now, what about the inappropriate part?”

“Well, maybe not entirely inappropriate, but… I’m sure it is at least frowned upon for employees of a counselor’s office to date the patients,” Jon isn’t sure what the rules would be (he’s certain the actual counselors can’t be involved with people they see professionally). “And even if that job would be less stressful for you, would you want to risk it for an awful little shit with a bad attitude?”

“Hmm, fair. Maybe I’d wait and see if the mental health refresher actually WORKED, and once you you stopped being a patient, I’d give you my number…”

“Making the first move, in this scenario?” Jon’s voice implies an attempt at sarcasm, but his face looks much more eager and intrigued.

“You’d be surprised how confident I am when I don’t have to worry about creepy-crawlies trying to eat me, or lying about my age and work experience on a daily basis!” Martin chuckles, and his laughter makes Jon bounce against him.

“Wouldn’t that have been a dream. I get a mental health refresher, you have a pleasant job as a receptionist, we go on a few fun dates, and start a happy relationship together, and you can indulge your pimple-popping fetish-”

“It is NOT a fetish!” Martin’s hug tightens around Jon, trying to squeeze the air out of him. For a moment, Martin sternly refuses to look at Jon, instead staring straight ahead (if he sees Jon’s face right now, he might laugh himself off the bench).

“Do you want me to stop washing my face?” Jon wheezes out.

“You’re the one who made a whole kink-list!” Martin reminds him. “And did I add anything like that? No, no I didn’t!”

“Darling… don’t be afraid… to be yourself… I’ll accept you…” Jon is gasping now, but it is less from Martin’s powerful hug, and more from his own laughter.

“I HATE you,” Martin informs him.

“I think we’ve come to the conclusion… that you actually LOVE me…” Jon snorts, like that was so clever or something, and that breaks Martin’s concentration. The attempt to hug Jon into silence ends, all the muscles in Martin’s arms loosen, and Jon melts into him as they both give in to the giggles that have been building.

Jon forces himself to take a big, deep breath, and once his chest stops hitching, he tilts his head up to give Martin a kiss. Around them, people pass, not even noticing, but anybody who had been thinking about sitting at that bench feels like they’d rather find a different spot. Jon and Martin aren’t unseen phantoms, repelling people from their space. Nothing as alarming as that; they’re just uninteresting shapes, on a bench that isn’t very appealing, for no special reason.

This allows them plenty of time to linger, and kiss lasts as long as they want.

In the back of his mind, Jon has decided that no matter what kind of life they could have had, if he still met Martin somehow, falling in love would just be an eventuality. How could he resist any version of Martin? How did he resist THIS version of Martin for so long? Jon is so deeply in love, it is hard to even remember NOT feeling this way. Despite his protests, mostly in reference to himself having such a bad habit of being a wanker, Jon is secretly a hopeless romantic. He’d die, over and over again, for Martin’s sake.

Martin, on the other hand, has different thoughts he’s keeping to himself. Them having a chance to be free of the Magnus Institute and still be drawn together is very nice… but even though he argued in favor of dating the “un-charming” Jon in another reality, Martin doubts it could actually happen that way. Maybe he’s being realistic, maybe he’s actually just a pessimist underneath all his optimistic layers. However, the fact that he actually HAS this with Jon now, against the odds and through all the crushing pain they’ve suffered, makes Martin treasure it even more. His rotten luck wouldn’t give him another chance like this. He’d fight for it, he’d break for it.

They don’t share these thoughts, so they never know how different yet similar they really are. Instead, Jon kisses the man he’ll always love, and Martin kisses the Jon he has, and both are happy enough to know that much.

When they begin their walk back, Jon comfortably links his arm with Martin’s again, sort of leading the way this time. Still a guard-cat, still protective and alert, but considerably more calm. Martin is pleased with himself indeed; he’s the center of Jon’s concerns, but that doesn’t need to be something strained or stressful. It can also be fulfilling.

[walker-extended-universe]

Wake Up

Relationship(s): David Luna/Cassie Perez

Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Near Death Experiences, Coma, Hospitals, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: AU where Luna didn't die, just needed some time to heal

Written for @sicktember Day 24: Tales From The Waiting Room

A/N: This is just me living vicariously through fic because this is what I actually wanted ;-;

Taglist: @theladywyn, @ihavepointysticks, @klaatu51, @neptunium134, @itsjessiegirl1

--------------------------

Cassie should be at the office right now. There was a serial killer to interrogate, an investigation to finish. There was paperwork to be done and press conferences to prepare for. Her team needed her in the office, something her constantly buzzing phone kept reminding her of.

But she couldn’t leave. Not yet. Not until she knew if David would be okay.

Everything had been fine just a few hours ago. David had told her he loved her and she almost said it back. David had backed her up when she was worried Walker had gotten her into some kind of trouble. David had been the first to run into danger to help a colleague.

And then he’d almost flatlined on the way to the hospital and no one could give her any answers.

She just needed to know. She almost didn’t care if the truth was awful, if he was dying and nothing could be done to save him. But she couldn’t focus on the case or anything else until she knew something.

It was almost two hours later before a nurse finally took pity on her and went to fetch one of the doctors.

“Can I see him?” she asked first.

“No, not at the moment. He’s in stable condition but he’s in the ICU so we’re limiting visits to family only. It’s just policy, you understand.”

Cassie itched to flash her badge. “Well, can you tell me anything else about his condition? He’s a vital part of our investigation.” And I love him and I need to tell him that.

“There’s not much to tell at the moment, I’m afraid. He’s alive, we’ve done everything we can to keep him that way, but we won’t know the extent of his condition until he wakes up.”

“And when will that be?”

“We’re not sure. He’s currently under medical sedation to help with his healing process but once that wears off, we’ll just have to wait and see.”

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. But it was an answer. It was some level of closure. And that was all she needed.

“Please call me with any updates. I want to be able to tell him he got his man.”

“We will.”

Cassie nodded and turned on her heel to leave the hospital. She had a job to do.

—---------------

Cassie watched from the entrance of the empty construction site as Rebecca Tillman was put into the back of a police car. She would be taken in for further questioning, but her father’s confession and the scratches on her arm would put her away for a long time.

The case was solved. The day was saved. The Jackal would be put away for life. The families of their victims could finally have closure.

Cassie should be happy, or at least relieved. This was another feather in her cap, another reason to be given that promotion, another success under her belt.

But she felt hollow. Numb. Because even if the bad guy was caught and the case was closed, David was still laying in that hospital bed. The medical sedation would be wearing off soon, but there was no guarantee he would wake up after. Cassie may never get the chance to tell him she loves him too.

It was funny, in a way. She’d been so optimistic during the final investigation, during the chase, that in the end, she would be able to return to David with a successful arrest and maybe a funny-in-hindsight story.

But now it was over, and all she could think was that she hadn’t heard anything from the hospital yet and that he’d basically been dead when she found him in the woods and he’d already lost so much blood and-

And all this might not be happening if Walker had just listened to her.

Maybe the Jackal would’ve targeted him anyway. Maybe David would’ve gone down during the final arrest anyway. Maybe if Walker hadn’t been so reckless, they never would’ve caught him.

But that didn’t change the fact that he lied to her, lied to everyone, for no real reason. That didn’t change the fact that they didn’t know where he was for hours and they got lucky he was dumb enough to use a credit card for the motel. That didn’t change the fact that they were too busy rushing to make sure Walker made it home alive that they didn’t have time to call backup for themselves.

That didn’t change the fact that if it weren’t for Walker, David wouldn’t have been in those woods, alone and nearly defenseless. That didn’t change the fact that he was laying in a hospital bed, with no guarantee he would see outside of it again.

Walker tried to approach her but Cassie firmly turned away. She couldn’t face the man that essentially killed the love of her life. Not right now, at least. Not until she knew if David would live or not.

She just needed an answer. Once she had an answer, she could make her next game plan.

—---------------

It had been almost two weeks since David was nearly killed. It had been almost two weeks since the medical sedation wore off and it was up to him to wake up on his own.

It had been almost two weeks since Cassie had heard David’s voice or his laugh or seen his beautiful eyes and she wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take.

His family had been contacted (what little of it there was) and none of them seemed keen to make any real decisions about what to do. It wasn’t as simple as pulling the plug; he was living just fine on his own, just unconscious. But was it really living like that? If there was no guarantee he would wake up again?

Cassie shook her head and tried to focus on picking an outfit for August’s graduation party. It was stupid to grieve someone who wasn’t dead yet. He could wake up tomorrow and be perfectly fine and she would feel stupid.

She tried to ignore the voice in her head that sounded a little too much like Lucas. She couldn’t go there. Not now. Not yet. Not when there was so much to celebrate. August was graduating, Sadie was moving to Austin full time, Cassie had just received a promotion, Geri was getting ready to open her dream second location, and Walker may have finally learned some hard lessons about work-life balance.

She could be sad later. Right now, she had to slap a smile on her face and play nice for a couple hours. It’s what David would want for her. She could manage that.

She really did want to celebrate. August just made it through one of the most stressful periods he’d ever face in his life- high school. Everyone was so proud of him, especially with everything the family had been through the last few years. He could go far with a work ethic like that.

It was just hard to be surrounded by all this positive energy when her heart was stuck in a dark hole of grief she wasn’t sure she even deserved to feel.

After two hours, she started thinking of decent excuses to leave. She knew no one would blame her if she didn’t have one, but she didn’t want to be rude.

Then, she got a phone call.

“He’s awake. And he’s asking for you.”

Cassie barely had the forethought to stammer an excuse to Walker on her way out.

David was okay. He was awake. And he wanted to see her.

That was all the answer she needed.

[ahkylous]

Drifting Stars Masterlist

I have never made a post like this, I have no clue what I'm doing, let's go!

SO, drifting stars is one of the best Gravity Falls au's in my unprofessional opinion. But unfortunately, fanfictions are hard to come by, not to mention finished ones. But lucky for you I have way too much time on my hands and have managed to hunt down all drifting stars fanfics on Ao3 that I can find and make one masterpost of all the ones I think are worth your time.

This is gonna be in a general order of least favourite to favourite.

I’m Afraid of the Dark (But I’m Obsessed with Ideas) by TiredWriter810. - oneshot, 910 words, 1/?

So far there's only one of these oneshots and due to what I'm calling The Drifting Stars Curse, I have doubts that there will be any more. I thought it was cute, it's quick so there's not much plot but it has potential.

Ten Years by FullmetalReborn - standalone, 9 753 words, 2/?

This takes place after Mabel and Ford get back, which is one of my favourite concepts. It focuses on Dipper and Mabels relationship and is very realistic in that sense. Despite what the chapters say, this one is finished, or at least ends on a note that can be considered finished.

A Broken Star by Aceofstars16 - oneshot, 1 401 words, 1/1

This one was also set after Mabel and Ford get back and focuses on their relationship, it was just really sweet. It was a little cliché and almost too much for me in terms of comfort (that’s on me guys, in reality it’s not that much I just have issues) but still deserves to be on this list.

Stars Aren't the Only Things That Glitter by NovelistServant - oneshots, 10 465 words, 4/4

These are written really well, the first one is by far the best but the others are still worth a read. This one is finished since they are oneshots but unfortunately leave you wanting more. But again, the first one is amazing.

An Encounter While Breaking Out of Prison by  amadscientistapproaches - 2nd part of a series, 10 074 words, 2/4

This fanfic is not entirely a drifting stars one and is a crossover with Dimension Jumper AU where an oc that I have mixed feelings about is introduced. This part specifically does not mention her but if that au is your thing then read the first part before this one. I just loved the writing style and the whole prison chaos.

OSAS - Main Story, Prologues, Epilogues, and More by LesbianLucretia - series (3 parts), 24 890 words, 1/1, 1/1, 4/?

This one is different to the stereotypical drifting stars idea and I was so there for it, it's nice to see people being creative since it is the multiverse and anything can hadplen. Essentially Mabel doesn't find Ford and has to survive by herself for some amount of years before finding him. The last story got me hooked and I wanted very badly to see how Ford and Mabel's relationship developed but of course, the curse.

What Matters More by RamblesandDragons - oneshot, 3 067 words, 1/1

I loved this oneshot, it was well written and just generally had a good storyline. It's stereotypical in the sense that something bad happens to Mabel but I dont care I still liked it. I feel like the ending could have been done better but don't let that put you off of reading it.

A Shooting Star May Fall by Yatzstar - standalone, 29 479 words, 8/?

This was actually really good, and somewhat adorable. The plotline had so much potential with Bill and everything, there was a level of the story there that I haven't seen before yet alone considered when it comes to drifting stars. It does end on a cliffhanger but there are still some really good Mabel and Ford bonding scenes throughout so do check it out.

Mabel's Guide to The Multiverse by PresidentStalkeyes - oneshot, 6 545 words, 1/1

I loved this. I loved this so much. It was so awesome and written in a way that just makes it so much cooler and more interesting. I love the idea of Mabel getting her hands on a camera and Ford doing his best at being a good uncle. It was just so unexpectedly good.

Drifting Stars by the_subpar_ghost - standalone, 33 003 words, 15/?

This. This is the fic that started it all. This is the fic that I read in two nights and then cried over because it's not finished. Not only did it start it all but it's also just so good. Even if it wasn't the og I would still put it high up on this list. I owe everything to the_subpar_ghost.

Senior Season by orphan_account - standalone, 85 549 words, 18/29

I have no words for this. I would die for this fanfiction, everything about it is just *chefs kiss*. The characterisation of Mabel and Ford, the funny little quotes and comments the two make, everything they do when they travel around the multiverse just showing how long they've been out there. It even mentions things I have never heard mentioned ever in a fanfiction. It's so honest and funny and addicting and I would jump in front of a bullet to save this fanfiction. The cliffhanger does suck but I found it somewhat bearable since I can kinda see where it ends up going. But this is it, this is the fic that outshines them all.

I legally cannot have an opinion on these last ones since I haven't finished/started reading them but I'll put them here anyway.

Ad Astra by Queen_Mab - standalone, 103 406 words, 18/?

So far, I think this fic is good. The story is well developed and so are some of the characters which is more I can say for a lot of fanfictions I have read in my lifetime. I am only on chapter 9 so I still have a fair bit left but Mabel is just so adorable in this and there is a lot going on back at Gravity Falls and I'm so into it.

The Drifting Star by Booblybaba - standalone, 35 337 words, 15/?

So I have not started reading this one yet but when I came across it I checked the ending to see if it was on a cliffhanger and if I should bother reading it. Lo and behold, it ended on a cliffhanger, but I still have hopes for this since the writing style looks really good and with that many chapters there's sure to be some good Ford and Mabel content.

So yeah! Feel free to add any fanfics I might have missed. I don't mean to offend anyone, this is just what I personally thought while reading some these and if you disagree then that's fine.

Also there's a part two of this list now, whaaaat?!?!??!

[deepdowninmybones]

I'm new in Turnadette world, but these two have work some magic on me.

Here is my first CtM fan-fiction...it's a Multi-chapter AU story starting during 12x05 (since the link is not working...we're going old-school: copy and paste...here below!)

For all those who wanted that test to be positive 💖

A SPECIAL THANKS TO @miss-ute THAT ENCOURAGED ME TO DIVE IN THIS ADVENTURE.

Everything is just as ought to be

Chapter 1 - Shall we open it?

Mid September

He came home late that night, still upset about Spencer Wray's story.

The lights were off, the house was quiet. He was tired, but he needed to let go of the flow of thoughts that had invested him in the last few days.

He sat at the table, in the dark, the smell of the stew that Shelagh made for dinner still in the air. He really needed moments like that, soothing his senses and stop being Dr Turner to get into the shoes of the man Patrick Turner, the husband, the father. He sighed with a half smile, realizing that truth to be told, that side of him had no less thoughts than his professional alter ego.

The husband... of his Shelagh. God, how he loved that woman! So petite but so extraordinarily strong, delicate and bold at the same time (oh so much bold sometime…). They'd been married for ten years now, but he hadn't still finished wondering how much he loved her.

That woman who only a few days before had stormed into the Maternity Home, demanding to speak to him in private. He knew right away that it was serious... and it really was. He barely had time to close the door of his office and sit down when Shelagh blurted:

"I'm pregnant, again."

And then…there was Patrick, the father.

Timothy's father, his 20-year-old son who had been involved and quite shocked by the consequences of schizophrenia of the young Wray. His first born, everyday more and more like him, physically and temperamentally, who was growing into a young man and at the same time was also beginning to face the dark side of the medical profession.

Angela's father, his angel girl, to whom they would sooner rather than later have to disclose her whole story... reveal her about the special way she became part of their unique family.

May's father, who he loved so much that he was breathless at the thought that at any moment someone could come and tear her from their lives.

Teddy's father, their miracle, so like Shelagh in features and so like to him in character. A little rascal that with his funny faces could always make them smile, but at the same time a very sensitive and attentive kid, especially to his sisters and his mommy.

And...

He couldn't help it, the thought of a new baby possibly joining their family filled him with joy. He hadn't hesitated for a moment to be happy about it, not even when Shelagh had taken it out on him, her voice broken by tears, saying she was afraid she wouldn't make it because she was too old and too tired, that the house wasn't big enough, that they might not be enough. Of course they'll be enough! They will always be enough!

The sound of footsteps descending the stairs roused him from his thoughts. He knew those footsteps very well. He looked up and saw her coming down, wrapped in her blue robe.

"I couldn't sleep. The results of the test has arrived today…but I didn't open the envelope yet."

"I couldn't sleep either. You weren't in bed and I missed you" said her, going down the last few steps.

"Come here," he invited her with a smile, extending his hand towards hers than he kissed softly the back of her hand.

That gentle hand of his was her refuge and protection. Of course she was still scared (terrified to be honest) of what could happen from now on, but she knew deep down her heart that with him by her side she could face any storm, they had already done it in the past. They did it every day. They would do it again, no matter what.

She sat on the other side of the table, grabbed his other hand. They looked into each other's eyes, smiling tenderly.

"So…Shall we open it?" asked him.

"Oh Patrick, what if…"

"Shelagh, whatever the result, we will face it and we'll be fine."

He put his right hand in his jacket, taking off the envelope. She got up from the chair, approaching him. Patrick made her sit on his lap. They opened it together, their hands trembling, then Shelagh pulled out the sheet of paper with the result stamped from the lab.

In the center, typed, in capital letters well marked, there was written POSITIVE.

"Oh Patrick!…a baby.." stated Shelagh in a whisper

"A baby…" echoed Patrick, smiling.

"Am I allowed to be scared?"

"Shelagh, darling…you can, of course. But do know that everything is just as ought to be, because we have everything a family could want." reassured her by holding her in a warm embrace.

After a moment of silence, he softly added "And am I allowed to be happy?"

His question drew a smile on her face.

"Of course you can. I know you are happy. And I want you to know that, despite all my fears, I am too."

Overwhelmed by the emotions, they head to their bedroom still holding hands.

Once slipped into bed, they spent a few more minutes in each other arms, enjoying the moment. Before falling asleep Patrick whispered in her ear "Once more, we did it against all the odds my love".

[kpopbestie96]

Not even a goodbye - Bang Chan

Hi lovelies!

I finally finished the short Bang Chan story! If you are new here, welcome! I like to write short stories off the pictures Bang Chan post on Instagram.

Not going to lie....this one may or may not break your heart. I might do a part two...and as you might know, if you persuade me enough, I will write a part two. 😅 I hope you enjoy this story and don't hate me too much. I did write this in Chan's POV, so enjoy! 🥰

Paring: Bang Chan x reader, Bang Chan x Y/n, Bang Chan x She/her

Genre: Stray Kids fan fiction, Bang Chan fan fiction, Bang Chan POV

Warning: very little cussing, might make you sad

The weather tonight is actually really nice out, I could wear a jacket without me dying from heat stroke. It was actually perfect...although, what was happening with my girlfriend was anything but that.

I sat down on the steps, waited and waited for her to show up to the park we always meet at, right by the river where we shared our first kiss. I remember being beyond nervous, shaking afraid I would bump my head against hers. But the second our lips touched these fireworks went off, feeling this tingle that shot through my entire body.

I would do anything to have that feeling with her again. But instead I'm now here, seeing if she shows up. We had a fight last week about something so dumb that it shouldn't have been a fight in the first place.

Her and I are alike, so our anger overtook our words, saying things we both shouldn't have. And because of it, she and I haven't talked since then. Although, I asked if she could meet me here so we could talk things over. She agreed right away but right now she's over an hour late.

I sat looking at the sun setting, the sky turning dark blue with purple tones and the city lights turning on, reflecting onto the river.

I couldn't take waiting anymore, so I moved my restless body towards the fence, gripping it tightly and checking my phone every five seconds.

I heard people laughing as they walked by, saw joggers running, enjoying the night air. But the thing that hurt most was seeing couples holding hands walking by with huge smiles.

I was envy, I missed that because right now my heart feels as if it's ready to jump out and crawl into a bush or jump into the water.

Pulling out my phone again...nothing...is she really not going to show even though she said she would? Is she that mad at me? I felt as if I was losing my mind, I had to text her but I was afraid to bother her.

I opened up her text, my fingers hovering above my screen, but there was something holding me back. If I text her I might push her away and she'll really not show up. But another part is saying you should, maybe she's stuck at work.

The last thought won and before I could stop myself I typed up my message and sent it to her.

Me: Hi, just checking up on you. I want to make sure that you're okay. If you don't want to meet tonight that's totally fine.

I wanted to desperately call her baby girl or my love, it hurt so much to not type it. It felt like holding in a sneeze but way worse.

I placed my phone back in my pocket and sat back down on the steps, contemplating everything. I took off my glasses and hung them on my shirt so I could rub my eyes. I can't believe we got into that stupid fight, we both let it go way too far. I should have stopped it but my big mouth just had to keep on going.

When I pulled my palms off my eyes, my vision was a bit blurred until they focused to the buildings all lit up. A cool breeze passed through as I leaned back on the steps, extending my legs out.

My stomach made this weird turning feel, knowing something is going to go wrong, something doesn't feel right.

I brought my phone back out and saw nothing still, making me sigh. Although, there were messages from my friends asking how the talk went but I couldn't message them back right now, I just didn't want to say anything in case she shows up.

I started to play with my bracelets, nervously fidgeting with them as I start to think the absolute worse with our relationship. But as I play with one of my bracelets, it's funny because it's from her. I received it on our one year anniversary. I remember I told her I couldn't accept it because of how expensive it might have been. I didn't want her to spend money on me like that, I'm not worth it. She insisted, telling me how much she loves me.

I could easily take it off but I haven't, she holds a special place in my heart. And before this stupid fight, I was going to ask her to move in with me...guess that's not happening anytime soon.

Another hour passed and I become antsy and ended up calling her. The good news is it didn't go straight to voicemail...so I wonder why she hasn't responded. "Hey y/n, I know that you might be busy. Just seeing if you were making it tonight. It's honestly okay if we need to meet another day. Just worried about you. Okay, bye."

I left the voicemail, hoping it didn't sound needy or clingy, I genuinely don't care if she shows up tonight, I just want to make sure she's okay now.

As the night was continuing on, the weather was dropping, it becoming chiller, shivering whenever the breeze hit my face. While the voice in my head was telling my that she wasn't coming, how this was a mistake.

I took out my phone and began to type...backspace, retype...I did this for another minute until I finally settled on a response:

Me: If you don't show up, I'm going to assume you don't want to be with me anymore.

I didn't want to type that but I just wanted to know if she's coming or not. If she wants to work on this relationship.

Time was passing too fast for my liking and she wasn't calling or texting back. A deep sigh escaped, wanting to scream loudly if it wasn't for all the people walking by. It was clear that she doesn't want to work on this.

Me: I got your message loud and clear. I'm sorry we had that fight. I really am. I wish I could change what I said but I can't. I wanted to meet you tonight so we could talk this out but clearly you don't want to and that's okay. It's your decision, I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. I'll drop your stuff by your place tomorrow. Thank you for an incredible two years. I love you so much.

I set my phone in my pocket, walking up to the fence, leaning against it with my back towards the water while I tried to keep the tears in. I feel so many emotions but mainly sad and frustrated.

If this is what she wants, I can't force her to stay with me. I love her and respect her decision even if it hurts like hell.

I walked to my car with my hands in my pocket, kicking a small rock along the way, feeling my heart break into tiny pieces. The second I through myself down onto the drivers seat, I pressed my head against the headrest while closing my eyes.

Fuck, I hate this....damn.....I rubbed my eyes again before I started the car, still waiting just in case she shows up. But after 30 minutes, I couldn't wait anymore. I'd be here all night, probably to morning if I didn't have to leave for my parents tomorrow.

"Bye, park...you hold a lot of wonderful memories," I waved goodbye as I drove away with a heart that no longer existed.

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

If you want...no pressure, want to check out my other Stray Kids stuff I made click here

And I do write stories on Wattpad and A03 if you want to check those out. (No pressure to!) Click here

[blueepink07]

Some of my Milgram trial 3 predictions!

First off, I will start with a little introduction with my thoughts of the newest conversation between Haruka and Kotoko!

I was surprised that they decided to drop this conversation so early considering that it is very important in order to move the plot forward, despite trial 2 not even being finished... Untill I realized that it is the perfect time for Haruka to proceed with his plan. If he waits for the trial to end, there is a high chance for him to be restrained immediately. We don't know how the restraints during third trial will look like, but there is a high chance for them to look similar with those from Undercover, where their hands are fully restrained.

If that's the case, then Haruka wouldn't be able to hold a weapon at all and to harm himself.

He knows that he was voted guilty. It makes sense considering that since his birthday, he started to think about a plan in order to protect Muu.

23/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: Haruka-kun, I brought your food. Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing?

Haruka: ……ah, thank you very much. Mu-san. Sorry, um… I…

Mu: You shouldn’t just lock yourself in your room all day. You have to eat your food properly. Hm, well…… I do understand why you’re feeling down. It feels bad. The atmosphere recently

Haruka: Um, I’m totally fine…Just a bit, I’m thinking, about how to do it. What to do, what to do, to… fulfil my promise. For Mu-san’s sake…

Moreover, Mahiru and Fuuta, during first trial, started to feel judged by people who told them they were in the wrong, not long after their guilty verdicts. It was also before Kotoko's voting period...

Kotoko's MV will be released on 17 January (also Mahiru's birthday) and her voting period should end around May... Unless we will get another portal timeline conversation which is not for a birthday, we have two more timeline portal timeline conversations for this trial Mahiru's and Fuuta's birthday (19 April) .

We will just have to see when Haruka will actually go along with his plan... Since on Mahiru's birthday it will be released Kotoko's MV, I kind of doubt that Haruka will do something at that time... I feel like it would be too much content and it would be hard to catch up with everything... So my prediction would be that something will happen on Fuuta's birthday or around that time. I feel like it would also end in a very dramatic way the second trial.

Now that this part is done, I will begin explaining some predictions for Haruka and a few other prisoners (Yuno, Fuuta, Mahiru)

Haruka -> I think that he will go along with his plan before the end of the second trial. This will give him enough mobility to hold a weapon and actually cause himself harm. What Haruka asks from Kotoko is simple: to let him harm himself and to stay away, letting him go along with his plan.

Haruka: ...Please, be quiet about this. And you, please don't get involved. All I can do is ask this of you...

Kotoko: Fufufu, fufufufufu. You're thinking some outrageous things. To be frank, it's abnormal. But I don't dislike it. If only all sinners were like you.

Haruka: No... That's not it... I don't mean it that way... This isn't for me... it's to protect... so, Kotoko-san... please...

Kotoko: Eh? Yes, yes. Well, I promise not to interfere with your plans. Even though I'd like to do it myself, I'll leave it to you. What happens after that... depends on Es, doesn't it?

Other prisoners will sure try to stop him, thinking about Kazui, Mikoto, since they seem the most able, physically speaking. However, I'm afraid that Kotoko will interfere and slow down Kazui or any prisoner who is trying to help Haruka. I'm imagining that it will be a big mess... It's possible that even other prisoners, except Haruka, will get injuried somehow, trying to interfere...

Yuno -> Not very fond of social interactions. Her mental health will deteriorate even more, but she will not show it. Will find more information about Milgram (the only one who starts to question her own existence)

I really think that it will be revealed that she is in fact dead.

Let me explain, how it would work!

The second Milgram novel, (for the sake of not giving much spoilers, I will not say the name of who I'm talking about!), introduces us with something new! Three of the characters are aware that they are dead. Why? Because they remember killing themselves. They died with this memory...

Yuno, on the other hand, states that she had many abortions... It's true that the stairs should be taken as symbolism for the stages of her pregnancy, however Japan is known for it's expensive abortions!

Moreover, it is usually required the partner's consent in order to have an abortion..

Not only Yuno would never want her family to struggle with money after such a big payment, but I also don't think she would manage to gain the signature of one of her clients.

So what option she would have? It seems that falling down the stairs might have been a good option...

Going back, imagine being in Yuno's shoes. A legal, medical abortion is not possible, so she decides that harming herself might help her escape from this situation. It worked before, so why it wouldn't now? However, something happens, she falls dangerously and suddenly everything goes black and she wokes up in Milgram. Now, falling down the stairs can cause instant death if the head is hit or the neck snaps.

"By hitting your head, or breaking your neck, either of which could easily occur in a staircase fall. You can hit your neck at an angle where it would snap due to the pressure of falling and cause instant death."

This means that her brain will stop working shortly after death, so she will not process the fact that she died. Remember what I said before? That the three characters from the novel were aware that they were dying, so their brains processed that and had this memory in Milgram.

Yuno doesn't have this privilege, however she could suspect her death, if her last thing she remembers is her falling down the stairs.

Fuuta -> it's so hard to imagine something for him... But I truly think he will give more assistance to the younger ones. He already expresses concern for Haruka, despite saying in the interrogation questions that he can't bother, considering his mental health and injuries.

I've made a post a while ago talking about how passage of time in Milgram is really weird and that their bodies don't seem to grow at all. Their injuries which should have been better after a few months, during trial 2, also didn't get better at all, especially considering Mahiru's case and Shidou spending most of his time with her.

At that time, I've been thinking that once somebody has an injury, their body will be unable to heal. So I think that Fuuta's physical condition will not change much.

Moreover, I believe that Fuuta and Amane will get closer... I'm expecting a timeline conversation which would explain better what is happening right now. No, I don't think he will be fully indoctrinated, I think he will be given just that hope that there is somebody there who loves him and appreciates him. (I think he will be really distrustful of the voices that he will hear, even if they are positive) To believe all that Amane has been taught, means to stop receiving medical care. And if his body doesn't heal, he will still be in constant pain.

I doubt he will refuse medications, considering that he is very desperate to relieve the pain. Also, forgot to mention, but there are a few religious aspects that Fuuta has in his MV or VD, even before his interactions with Amane...

Mahiru -> what I'm going to write are my thoughts after I've been asked what romantic pairing I think would become canon. (for this, I'm not really sure, but I thought it will be interesting to share!)

Trial 3 is stated that will be worse than this trial, which as well, had lots of conflicts between prisoners and prisoners experiencing mental torture and physical injuries. If there will be any romantic ship canon, I really think that it would be something that makes the characters to be even more absorbed by their beliefs.

Any romantic relationship between Amane(obviously), Kotoko, Fuuta, Yuno, Muu, Haruka, Kazui, Mikoto (John and Mikoto, I doubt that an inno vote will have them in better terms, Milgram will sure make the situation worse somehow 😭) seems unlikely for me.

Yuno, because she wishes more and more to escape from Milgram and she will sure be more distant with the others, especially if Mahiru heals.

Fuuta, he was distant before, even if his condition gets better I can't picture him having as a priority to be in a romantic relationship.

Kotoko, she is too absorbed in her ideals to deliver justice, also no one is really approaching her.

Muu and Haruka, their relationship dynamic is not balanced at all. One sees the other as a friend, the other as a parental figure... The guilty vote will just strenghten this condepency and they will need eachother more, but that's it.

The only relationship that I can possibly see is one between Mahiru and Shidou, but it would most probably be one sided (Mahiru will express some attachment to Shidou). It is stated that Shidou spends most of his time with Mahiru.

Especially the last timeline conversation seems to hint that they will still spend lots of time together, at least until the beginning of the third trial.

Mahiru: Shidou-san, you have a family...right? Having family, having children, how does it feel...?

Shidou: ...Yes, it's a wonderful thing. Children are... Well, they're hope itself. When you have children, growing older becomes enjoyable. The more you age, the more your children grow.

Mahiru: Ah...how wonderful. It was my dream to become a bride. It may be a little old-fashioned but, I wanted to make it come true...

Shidou: It's not too late. I will keep you alive, Shiina-kun. Let's get out of here and make that dream come true. ...You still have your whole life ahead of you.

Moreover, Mahiru states that she doesn't want to change her ideals, because she can't live without love in the second voice drama.

That's why I'm thinking... In what way they could possibly show the characters getting worse, if they don't let the prisoners to overindulge in their own desires and ideals? To Kotoko this already happened, so what would stop a romantic relationship between Mahiru and someone else, most probably Shidou (as he seems the best choice so far) ? We, as voters, wouldn’t be so impacted by the way prisoners could change outside Milgram (if they will ever get out) than inside, with the characters we love so much.

To finish off, I would say that this will most probably be the only romantic relationship that I can think of happening, but even so, more from Mahiru's part.

I personally don't really ship Milgram characters, so here is me just thinking about the worst possible outcome that it comes to my mind right now!

Trial 3 will sure be awful, so I'm expecting the worst. 😭

[onthewaytosomewhere]

WIP Acrostic Game

ok - so i got a few tags for this over the weekend (and i do luv me a tag game) so i have multiple words for it luckily some of those words share letters - so they'll also share sentences - in THE ONLY FIC I'M OPENNG TODAY - BCUZ IT NEEDS TO BE FINISHED LOLZ (the were/vamp coffee shop (with bonus soulmates that snuck up on me) fic) - also hoping this will make me get ready to whip the words out for this thing lolz

💚thanks bunches for the tags @cha-melodius @caterpills @tailsbeth-writes @fullerthanskippy @anincompletelist

@littlemisskittentoes @kiwiana-writes @sophie1973 @stellarmeadow

HUGE OPEN TAG TO ANYONE WHO MAY NOT HAVE ALREADY DONE THIS OVER THE WEEKEND (and a few tags under the cut for a few peeps just in case lolz)

Rules: From your story/WIP, find sentences that start with each letter of the given word. (oops i forgot the rules lolz)

MY WORD(S): BOLT, PACE, FORK, FIRST, RUSH, FAME, FANG, RINGS - YOUR WORD: SHOP

B -Before becoming one himself, his only contact with any of them had been his sister, June, and her wife, Nora. O -Only a few months in, he has an established overnight rotation of regulars, and they all help each other navigate life in the city. L -Let’s just say that my last case was against some fuckwad werewolf fratboys who had beaten my client, and I realized I wasn’t above a little vigilante justice if they hadn’t been found guilty. T - To this day, he’s afraid that if that hadn’t been the case, he might not have been able to fight the urge to get justice of his own for her. (the fact that there's 2 sentences about this from 2 different parts makes me giggle lolz)

P - Please forget I said that. A - Alex, sometimes, on slow nights, finds himself drawn to just standing behind the counter and watching as Henry is engrossed in what he’s working on that night. C - Completing the bond does not actually require ‘third-date activities’ if you so choose. E - Either way, he feels as if they’re one—as if they’re not separate beings but two parts of one whole.

F - From what we were told when we had you checked out, the fact that you’re a werewolf is the only reason you are alive currently. O - SEE ABOVE R -Raf understands as a lycan himself, but having been born one, he has more control, not just from the years of experience. K - NONE

F - SEE ABOVE I - I was here in this club, and there was this guy … R - SEE ABOVE S - So, while the sign reads ‘closed’ after 9 pm, you can say that is when the real “nightlife” happens. T - SEE ABOVE

R - SEE ABOVE U - Unfortunately, what Liam told you about my family and their messed-up rules about claiming vamps we sire is true S - SEE ABOVE H - He hates to think about it, but he still wonders if the realization hadn’t happened if he might still be working his way to partner in Raf’s law firm.

F - SEE ABOVE A - SEE ABOVE M - Might as well get a jump on making sure everything is ready for Nora and the morning crowd, as it looks like this will be one of his slower nights. E - SEE ABOVE

F - SEE ABOVE A - SEE ABOVE N - Nora thinks the irony that Alex’s big bi-revelation leads to him being turned means something. G - Granted, some of it he ‘overhears’ due to enhanced senses, but anything too sensitive, he’s learned to keep to himself.

R - SEE ABOVE I - SEE ABOVE N - SEE ABOVE G - SEE ABOVE S - So he waits for Henry to speak again, letting the silence hang between them. (this letter was already used as well but i felt bad this word had no sentences lolz)

💚tag ur it!! @adreamareads @typicalopposite @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @thinkof-england @piratefalls

@priincebutt @judasofsuburbia @suseagull04

just in case you didn't already do this!! 😘💚

now i'm off to switch the laundry and finish this thing lolz

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Zoe's Reprise: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.2k

Summary: Rossi needs your help when a young girl brings a case to his attention, unfortunately, at her death. High School reunion invitations have gone out, and you receive yours, unfortunately.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated

x

"I never teach my pupils; I only attempt to provide the conditions in which they can learn." - Albert Einstein

Today is an early day since you and Spencer can't sleep. Usually, you'd find something to do like play indoor mini golf or play some chess, but may as well come to work and get ready before everyone else comes in. Spencer is at his desk doing his morning puzzle while you get coffee for the both of you. You cap both cups and start to make your way to your desk when someone from the mailroom stops you.

"Are you Y/N?"

"Yes."

"This came for you."

You have to balance the two coffees in one hand in order to take the thick letter from the young man. Spencer notices you're struggling and comes over to take one coffee from you.

"What is that?" he asks when the young man walks away.

"I don't know. Nothing ever comes for me. Everything goes through JJ."

You set your coffee on your desk so you can open your letter. Inside is an invitation to one of your high school's reunions. Instead of keeping it the normal ten or twenty years since you've graduated, your classmates thought it'd be fun to make it a lucky thirteen years.

Thirteen years since you've seen some of the worst people you've ever met. You've seen a lot of criminals in your day, but nothing compares to high school girls and boys. They're ruthless, especially to someone with your abilities.

"It's a high school reunion invitation."

"What's wrong? You don't look too happy."

"I went to two high schools in Texas because my family had to move at the end of my sophomore year. The first high school I went to was in Dallas and then in Corpus Christi."

"So, what happened?" Spencer asks.

"I was a quiet kid. I didn't really join many clubs or stood out because that's not who I was. I got good grades but I was bullied a lot because of what I can do. I didn't have a lot of control over it like I do now.

"At my Dallas high school, I caught a teacher having sex with a student. I told the principal which got the teacher fired. When the whole school heard what happened, she became a laughingstock. She started bullying me, then her friends joined in, then the whole school and it got so bad that I had to transfer. I finished junior and senior year in Corpus Christi," you finish.

"Wow, I'm so sorry. Were things better for you at that other school?"

"In the beginning. No one knew who I was but then the same thing happened. I was more quiet than before, but I saw a kid in my class with bruises on his face. I knew he wasn't being treated right at home because all I could see was his father and alcohol bottles. I tried talking to him but people overheard. Once again, I overstepped. People hated me again until I graduated."

"Are you going to go to this reunion?"

"I don't know if I even want to. I'm afraid of what they'll say to me."

"That shouldn't matter. Who cares what they think?"

"You're absolutely right but I'm still scared. I'll think about it. If we have a case in that city at the same time as the reunion, then I'll go. If I do, then you have to be my date."

"I can do that," he smiles.

You kiss him quickly before heading over to Penelope's office with him. She, Derek, and JJ are in there to see the pictures of JJ's son.

"Ooh, let me see my godson!" you grin. JJ passes a few photos over to you, and your heart melts at how cute he is. "He's so cute! You really need to bring Henry over. We really want to babysit. You can sleep all day and relax and leave him to us."

"I did talk to him. We're going to make that happen," JJ chuckles.

"Yay!"

Penelope's phone rings, showing Rossi calling her from being on his annual leave.

"Is this David Rossi, the famous bestselling author David Rossi?" she jokes.

"What are you doing?" you ask over speakerphone. "You're not supposed to be calling on annual leave."

"I think it just ended."

"What do you mean?"

"Garcia, Cleveland police are sending you some files. Get JJ to distribute them to the team right away."

"What are we looking at?"

"I don't know yet. Just see if the team can find a connection with these crimes. I'll call you back in a few hours."

"Yes, sir."

"Back to work," JJ says and puts away her photos.

Zoe Hawkes was found dead this morning by a woman walking her dog. Her dog wouldn't stop barking until Zoe was discovered. Apparently, Zoe was at Rossi's book signing with the intention of talking to him about something, but you don't know if there is any other connection between the two of them.

Zoe was found next to her car with her keys still in her pocket, the car alarm was still activated, and there was no sign of a break-in. There was blunt-force trauma to her head and signs of strangulation. The murderer asphyxiated her with the scarf she was wearing. The motive must not be robbery otherwise her things would have been stolen. She had unused pepper spray in her purse, but you're unsure if she didn't want to use it or never got the chance to.

Local police went door-to-door to see if there were any witnesses but nothing came of it. Police theorize that Zoe was looking into murders that occurred in the area. Most recently, Kayla James was murdered and raped three days ago in a burglary-homicide, and they theorize that she was killed because she was snooping around the older case.

As the team gathers in the briefing room, Rossi is on the phone to give his input since he's in Cleveland right now. He has Zoe's laptop so Penelope can go through it, so while JJ presents the case, Penelope is working on getting access. JJ puts a map on the board with the location of all five victims, not including Zoe.

"All crimes are within a seven-mile radius," you note, "but all the neighborhoods are completely different. They range from poor to rich to industrial to residential."

"The physical locations are dissimilar but the operating zone's well-defined," Hotch adds.

"Okay, I'm in," Penelope says. She immediately looks at what she was looking at last through her search history. "The first thing she looks at is a crime column to probably stay current on her studies. The first three are the most recently opened documents she created."

"It looks like she was compiling empirical data about homicide trends in Cleveland," Spencer says. "Do you think she knew the killer?"

"I don't see any notes indicating suspects," Rossi says.

"Well, Dave, she's a criminology student. She's been taught to analyze statistics and apply theory, not investigate killers. Let's talk about what we know."

"Alright. Victim one is Travis Bartlett who was last seen at a gay bar," JJ lists. "He was shot at night in a park. Victim two is Lily Nicks, a thirty-four-year-old prostitute with her throat slashed. Victims three and four are June Appleby and Troy Wertsler who were shot in their car at a parking lot outside of a movie theater. Victim five was twenty-eight-year-old Kayla James who was killed in her home. She was bound with a bag over her head, and evidence of rape."

"The sixth victim was Zoe," you state.

"Victimology, weapons used, and COD are all different. It's hard to imagine it's even the same unsub."

"It can't be a coincidence that Zoe goes to Kayla James' house and gets murdered," Rossi argues.

"Alright, let's say it's the same killer. Does anyone see a pattern?" Hotch asks.

"With the first crime, the unsub shoots the victim. In the second crime, he rapes a woman and slashes her throat. With the third crime, he escalates to killing two people. By the fourth, he escalates even more to raping a woman, binding her, and suffocating her. It seems like every crime escalates to something worse. If it's the same killer, we can argue that there's a progression of violence with every kill."

"It could be an anger excitation offender getting more daring with each crime."

"I think I got something here," Derek chimes in and shows some of the pictures of the bodies. "Look at this: the slashes in the prostitute's throat are all shallow, unsure cuts. A telephone cord, rope, and duct tape were used on Kayla. It's like he couldn't decide how to bind her. Without a gun, this guy is inexperienced."

"Wait, doesn't the crime scene of the couple in the car remind you of anything?" you ask. "It looks like they were shot with a .44 Bulldog just like the Son of Sam used on his victims. The second crime reminds me of Jack the Ripper with similarities being it's a prostitute whose throat was slashed. Kayla was bound, tortured, raped, and suffocated with a bag over her head like BTK. Pen, what neighborhood was Travis found in?"

"At a park in the Kingsbury Run area."

"Zoe reminded me last night that Cleveland's most famous serial killer was the Butcher of Kingsbury Run. He found his victims in gay bars, shot them, and dumped their bodies there. Travis was last seen at a gay bar and his body was found in Kingsbury Park," Rossi says.

"This unsub is a serial killer studying other serial killers."

"See you in Cleveland, Dave," Hotch concludes the meeting.

He's heard all that he needed to hear.

Cleveland is a little over an hour away by plane, so you get there fairly quickly. Rossi didn't seem too anxious over the phone but when you see him in person, you can feel the guilt radiating off him in waves. Your heart feels heavy, there is a weight over your chest, and you feel uncertain about what you're doing. All of these feelings are coming from Rossi who is feeling them for Zoe.

"Are you okay?" you ask when you greet him.

"Why?"

"There's no reason to feel guilty, Rossi."

"Don't do that," he immediately shuts you down. "I don't need you reading me right now. Don't worry about it." He takes the team into one of the empty conference rooms that he's set up. "We'll get started on the evidence boards. Detective Dan Brady's our point. I'll let you all introduce yourselves."

Dan walks over and Hotch introduces the entire team.

"I know it may seem far-fetched, but copycat killers are not entirely uncommon. This one happens to be copying several different killers."

"If he's trying to be the butcher of Kingsbury Run, why didn't he cut up and mutilate the victims like the real guy?"

"That was seven weeks ago. He was just getting started. Beginning killers are often frightened of the crime itself. They're more interested in getting it over with as quickly as possible and fleeing the scene," Emily answers.

"He was just using the Butcher's ruse as a way to lure the victim to be alone with her. By the time he killed Kayla, he'd progressed. He came very close to copying all of the BTK's MO. He's reading, learning, and borrowing from others because he doesn't know who he is yet."

"Because of this, we think he's young and impressionable, maybe even a student. He's someone probably enrolled in criminology classes. Our technical analyst is going through the names of local students right now."

"Up to this point, changing his MO has prevented investigators from linking the crimes. That's why we need to work quickly."

"Are you sure about this?" Dan asks.

"It's not a coincidence that all of these random, violent murders in this localized area are copycats of serial killers."

"It's as if all the worst serial killers have converged on Cleveland. Every time he plans to kill, the murder weapon, the MO, and the victimology will all change. Detective, will you let your team know we're ready to give a preliminary profile?"

"Sure."

"Garcia found three male students enrolled in criminology classes with felony records," JJ says. "Before you say it, we don't need to interview them because one of them is studying abroad and the other two are in jail on other charges."

"Tell Garcia to check enrollment in online and correspondence courses and see if we have any luck with those parameters." Rossi leaves the room without a word. "Will you guys handle the profile?"

"Is everything okay?" you ask.

"Everything is fine."

Hotch leaves to talk to Rossi while Dan gathers his men and women to hear the profile. You want to go out there and help Rossi, but you're needed in here right now. Plus, Rossi doesn't want you to read him and you're respecting his wishes.

"We have six homicides in a seven-mile radius in east Cleveland," Derek gets started. "Now, this small zone indicates that he's a geographically stable offender. This type of offender is characterized as young, socially immature, of average intelligence, with psychopathic personality traits. They also usually live alone and have an antisocial nature."

"A serial killer's first murder is very telling. This unsub chose the MO of Cleveland's own butcher of Kingsbury Run for his first murder. The butcher isn't as well known as other famous serial killers, but he is a local legend."

"Because he picked the butcher to be first, we believe he's a native of Cleveland and probably grew up hearing stories of the Butcher. This is someone who is obsessed with serial killers. His computer will be filled with research on them. He'll have abundant images of murderers on his computer and possibly even snuff films. He uses these like pornography as they provide some sort of sexual release."

"Sorry to interrupt," JJ comes into the room. "There's reports of another body."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[zzencat]

here for the free mini readings!

🥳, Libra sun, A.D

my question(s) are:

When I do eventually publish (a book), will it have a good outcome?

will I meet my Fs before next year? (I keep getting mixed signals 💀)

what should I be focusing on right now?

thank you so much for your time and energy in advance ❤️ I hope you have a great day/night.

Hello AD!!! Thank you for joining me today! Get ready for a lot of reading bc damn…😳

Q. 1 + 3

Ok so first things first, I’m picking up aggressive energy, frustration towards this book. There’s an air of impatience and dissatisfaction. I’m getting the feeling that it’s less on creativity and more on what the public will enjoy. It sucks bc how the book gets received will bounce back and you may be prone to the negative criticism. “Is it even worth it? What’s the point anymore?” There has to have been inspiration before, but now there’s just a lot of conflict going thru your mind. I don’t think you’re going to publish it anytime soon bc there’s still a lot of dissatisfaction with it, and you’re still very stuck in a period of stagnancy and worrying. Even if you were to release it like “*shrugs* whatever- I’m just glad I got it over with,” you’re still gonna be unsatisfied with it. This could be due to the content of the book being heavily filtered or changed to fit what people would wanna read, instead of writing what you truly want to write about, raw creativity and everything you’d wanted to put in it. You’ll be struggling to find inspiration for a while and this stagnancy could last you well enough until financial issues finally get you in the gut. I have to tell you: put your soul into this project. Welcome your bouts of creativity. Anything can be as inspiration. A part of this huge bubble of stagnation is how competitive people can get in the creative industry, but don’t let that get you down too much either. Don’t worry about time, bc you will align with what you were meant to do if you truly sit down and listen to yourself. Stop worrying about the outcome and just write whatever you want. “Just fucking write.” I felt urged to say that 😂 There also has to be some kind of ego death happening in order for you to finish your book as yourself. Also, if you’re afraid of running out of time for whatever reason, don’t be. If you rush things, they’ll fall and crumble as fast as they were found. Good things take time. I’m urging you to keep that in mind!!

Additionally, if your time is reliant on financial needs, make sure you have something to support yourself on the side to gain extra.

Q. 2 + extra needed advice

Ok so the person who could be a person of love interest is possibly someone from the past (like someone you’d already had a relationship with, someone you knew of, or someone you just knew.) If this is not a returning person, it’s someone that you could’ve known from a past life. Don’t get fooled easily by people who come packed with money btw!

There are too many things atm to figure out, especially internally, before you meet a good future spouse. Otherwise, acting out of desperation and impatience to find the one will bring a worse outcome (especially someone who doesn’t take care of their finances well. Small hint.)

I would HEAVILY advise that if someone is toxic (past or new person) and you know it? Don’t chase after them. Also!!! Avoid possible swindlers or people who try to use/cheat you out of your money. Don’t make yourself vulnerable to these people, and don’t give yourself away so easily. Set boundaries and be more strict with the people around you. Don’t just let anyone in easily.

That’s about it! Thank you for taking the time to send in an ask AD!! Best of luck 😎👍