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weakformingyu · 8 days
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Can I be your favorite?
Pairing: Lee know x reader
Genre: smut, fluff
Summary: Lee Minho is unreachable, someone you can only just dream of being with. Until one day, you enter the wrong door at a party and ends up with him inviting you to sit on his lap.
Part 2
THIS CONTENT IS +18 ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Warnings: corruption kink, protected piv, fingering, Minho is kinda possessive.
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You're okay with not being popular, it's not like you'll be like that forever, it's just college and in a few years everything will be forgotten so you just keep living your life, going to your classes and hanging out with your best friend.
The only time you ever wish you were popular, though, is when you see him. Lee Minho. The guy of your dreams. He's vice president of the greatest fraternity on campus, so everyone knows him.
Lee Minho is someone mysterious, no one knows much about him other than that he changes girlfriends faster than he changes clothes. So more than half of the girls in this university already had their heart broken by him.
That doesn't make you like him less though, it's not like something will ever happen between you two so a little crush on him is not something to worry about, even more so when he doesn't even know about your existence.
Your best friend, Jihyo is the opposite of you, she likes partying and she always tries to drag you to one of her nights out. That's how you ended up in the situation you're in right now. Alone in the kitchen of a frat house, listening to a drunk guy teaching you about your own major, while sipping on a drink you're not even sure about the contents.
You watch as a group of people play beer pong on the counter in the middle of the kitchen, everyone is sweating and there's alcohol being spilled all over the place. You're at a safe distance but you pity the person who's going to clean this up later on.
You have no idea where Jihyo went, she told you she was going to the bathroom half an hour ago and never came back. You're tired of hearing this guy too, he's talking about first year contents when you're already in your third year.
“That's so interesting”, you smile at him, “but I have to go find my friend now”, you don't let him say a word, quickly sneaking away from the kitchen.
You look around, trying to find your best friend, but she's nowhere to be seen. Maybe she's on the second floor, you ask people and they tell you exactly where the bathroom is. However, you shouldn't be so quick as to trust drunk people.
Because when you open the door people pointed out as the bathroom, you find a room with red lights brightening the dark space.
There's a bed in the middle of the room and in that bed there's a couple and that couple happens to be Lee Minho and someone you have no idea who it is. They are luckily not in a compromising position, not making out or something worse. She's just sitting on his lap, having her giggles stopped by the bright light that comes from the door when you open it.
Your eyes grow wide when Minho looks at you with his fierce unfriendly eyes.
“Hm- I'm- sorry, I thought this was the bathroom”, you smile sheepishly, fidgeting on your feet.
Minho looks at you up and down and you swear you can see a smirk forming on his lips, but you're not sure since the light is not great.
“I guess the sign with my name on the wall is not very visible”, he points out dryly, making your face turn red. Great, that's great. Nice way to be humiliated by your crush, y/n.
“I apologize, I really didn't see it”, you say again. You should already have gotten out of there but for some reason it seems that your feet are stuck on the ground.
“Honey, why don't you go downstairs, I'll talk to you later”, Minho says to the girl on his lap, making her groan in frustration. She gets up, angrily walking past you. “You should close the door if you're going to stay”, he tells you and your feet finally move just enough to be able to close the door with you still inside.
“Do you know where the bathroom is?” You ask like an idiot.
“I live here”, he says obviously, “but I don't think you're still looking for the bathroom”, he grins, seeing you lick your lips. “Why don't you come and take a seat?”
Your legs move on it's own once more, giving slow unsure steps in his direction. You sit on the edge of the bed, watching him carefully as he leans back, supporting his upper body on his hands, arms spread on the mattress.
He stares at you, surprised. Minho chuckles, shaking his head.
“That's not what I was talking about”, he tells you, landing his hand on his thigh and tapping there. “Why don't you try sitting here?” He asks.
You feel your whole body turning hot, why is he asking for you to sit on his lap?
“I-I should get going”, you stand up fast, but before you can walk away he takes a deep breath.
“Are you sure that's what you want?” Minho tilts his head, waiting for your answer.
No, that's not what you want. You really, really want to sit on his lap and let him do anything he wants with you. So you give in to your desires, stepping closer to him and bending down to sit on his thigh.
He bites on his bottom lip, watching you fidgeting and trying to get comfortable. By the way you're stiff, it's obvious you have never done this before and that gets him excited.
He corrects his posture, sitting with his chest close to you. One of his hands lands on your left thigh and the other goes to your waist.
Minho doesn't need to waste another second to find out that he likes you. You're just his type, shy and reserved, someone who he can corrupt. Someone who can make him go absolutely crazy.
“You see, I see the way you look at me”, he says, caressing your back with the hand he had on your waist. “Jihyo is not very quiet and every time she catches my attention you're there and every time I look at you, you're looking at me”, he says, like he's saying something you don't know. “After some time I just came to the conclusion that you may like me. Am I right about that?”
You nod automatically, like you're obligated to tell him the truth. Maybe your brain just doesn't work when you're near him.
“Hmm”, Minho hums, “tell me then, what can you do for me?”
“W-what do you mean?” You manage to ask, getting goosebumps with every touch of his.
“I mean to say, why should I choose you? I have a great number of options”, he smirks. He's teasing now, even though he's already set on making you his, he just wants to hear your answer.
You have so many things to use at your advantage, pretty lips that he wants to kiss, soft skin that he wants to leave marks all over and the sweetest voice that he wants to hear crying his name while he fucks you so deeply you'll beg him to keep going.
“Anything”, you gulp, “you can do anything you want with me, I'm entirely yours”, and that is better than anything else he could hear. That is the last straw.
Minho puts his hand behind your neck, pulling you to him and kissing you in a hungry, hot kiss. He grabs your hair with the other hand, pulling a handful and making you groan with the sudden pain but it's still so good. His tongue brushes on your lips, entering your mouth and slightly caressing yours. The way he's grabbing you is just too much, you feel like you're going to explode at any moment.
Minho lets go of you for a moment just to take his shirt off, showing you his bare chest. He gets back on grabbing you, pressing you against his body. You're not sure if this is right but it definitely doesn't feel wrong.
You take your crop top off, throw it on the floor and pray that Jihyo will forgive you for doing that with her clothes. Wrapping your arms around Minho's neck, you kiss him again, feeling his bulge beneath you.
He sneaks a hand down your stomach, unbuttoning your jeans and pushing your panties to the side as soon as he manages to reach your soaking cunt.
Minho presses a finger on your clit, you stop the kiss just to gasp and he pulls away, staring at you while he inserts a finger between your folds.
“Has anyone ever fingered you?” He whispers, listening to your low moans, you're cute trying to hold back.
You open your eyes to look at him, shaking your head. That's beautiful, he gets even more excited to know he's the first one giving you pleasure like that.
“And what about sex, have you had it before?” He asks one more question, pushing his finger in and out of you.
“A-a few times”, you struggle to say, feeling your cheeks hot.
“That's good, virgins aren't really my thing”, he smirks, “then, you can handle one more finger, right?” He asks, not waiting for your answer and pushing in another finger inside of you.
“Oh”, it's the only sound you can make. You hold him harder, with your mind dizzy. “It's too much”, you sob, feeling the stretch, it burns a bit but it's so good.
“Oh, Kitten”, he pouts. “How are you supposed to handle my cock if you can't handle two fingers? I'm bigger than that”, he smirks while saying that.
“I can do it, I can”, you nod frantically, too drunk on the pleasure of his fingers inside you to think straight.
“I'm glad you're confident”, he takes his fingers out of you and takes them to his mouth, liking every drop of your juice. “Your taste might be my new favorite”
He helps you get up, your legs are weak even though you didn't cum. Minho helps you lie on the bed, pulling your jeans down, trailing kisses down your legs while dragging out the fabric.
“You are pretty”, he mutters, taking off his pants and underwear, crawling back to stay on top of you, kissing your chest and your collarbone, biting on the skin and leaving a couple of hickeys there. Minho goes down your breasts, sucking and licking your nipples, kneading at the other with his hand. He's humping on your leg, rubbing his hard cock on your thigh.
His touch makes you feel like you're on fire, tingling sensations spreading all over your body. His kisses leave you so turned on, you don't think you ever felt this horny.
“Kitten”, he calls you, making you blush. It's crazy to think that even though you two are naked in front of each other, him calling you a pet name is what makes you flustered.
Minho gives you a peck on the lips, leaning over to the bedside table to look for a condom. He opens the package with his teeth, spitting the piece of plastic and stroking his cock on hand.
He looks so good, standing on his knees in between your legs, eyes closed feeling his fist caressing him.
“Let me do it”, you take the courage to say, sitting and taking the package out of his mouth into your hands. Minho watches you attentively as you grab the base of his cock, sliding the condom down his length.
“Fuck”, he murmurs, grabbing your face on his hands and kissing you so hard you can taste blood, not sure from which of you.
Minho positions himself in your entrance, looking at you to wait for your consent and when you nod he pushes in. You wrap your legs around his hips, trying to bring him closer even though it hurts a bit, it's so good you think you will go crazy.
“M-minho”, you moan, throwing your arms around his waist, digging your nails on his skin.
“Shit, you're perfect”, he starts moving, each trust making you moan louder. Your walls are squeezing him so deliciously that he can cum at any moment. His cock feels so good, reaching all the places you didn't even know existed.
Minho kisses you, fucking into you so fast you can barely breath. You never thought he could be even more beautiful, hair stuck on his sweaty forehead, eyes staring intensely at yours, bottom lip stuck between his teeth while he fucks you senseless. He leans closer, kissing your neck, leaving a long and a bit painful mark there.
“You're mine now”, he smiles shakily, clearly close to his release. You can feel your orgasm approaching too, cumming and tightening your legs around his hips, making his release follow yours.
Minho gives you a kiss before falling to your side, breathing heavily accompanied by you. You don't know what to say and you're scared he'll pretend this was nothing so you get up, collecting your things, not waiting for him to kick you out.
“What are you doing?” He asks, scowling.
“Getting dressed so I can get out”, you explain naively, being watched by him like you're the prey and he is the predator.
“What part of “you're mine now”, you didn't understand?” He asks, laying down with an arm beneath his head and the other stretched to the side of the bed, waiting for you to lie there. “Come back here, I'm not even nearly done with you”, he smirks, watching you blush again.
You drop the clothes you have collected, crawling back on the bed and snuggling close to him. Minho pulls you closer, turning to you and wrapping his free arm around your waist.
“I'll tell you what we're gonna do”, he explains and you nod, “I'm going to fuck you until the only thing you can remember is my name and after that I'll take you out to dinner”
Lee Know presses his body on yours, showing you that his cock is already hardening again and you giggle, blushing once more.
Never have you felt so happy to trust drunk people's instructions.
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A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.
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weakformingyu · 10 days
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Hot n Cold
Pairing: Lee know x reader
Genre: enemies(ish) to fwb to ?, smut, angst(a bit?)
Summary: after going from annoying each other to fuck buddies, Minho took your situationship from granted, always having you on his beck and call. So imagine how surprised he is to hear you have a date with someone else?
This content is +18 ONLY, minors do NOT interact.
Warnings: Minho is possessive, a bit manipulative, kind of a jerk too(he's a walking red flag let's be for real), hair pulling, rough sex(?), unprotected piv(this is fiction please always use protection irl), creampie, bites/hickeys, I think that's all let me know if I missed something.
I had to write this plot because it has given me brain rot since I first thought about it so I just really wanted to take it out of my head ☠️ as always let me say that I'm not very good with smut but I keep trying so I can get better at it, so I hope you guys like it.
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You didn't like him, not at all. Minho is a known fuckboy, the guy you shouldn't get involved in anyway. You were always surprised with how many girls fell for his tricks, until you did too.
You didn't mean to fall in love, it actually was the very last thing you wanted to happen. You and Minho were always fighting, bickering, provoking each other, it was natural. You were not friends, more like you were part of the same group, so you were always together and that ended in arguing every time.
You can't remember why you thought it was a good idea to fuck, maybe it was all the pressure and snarky comments your friends kept making, saying there was too much sexual tension between you two.
You didn't hate each other, you just didn't agree with everything. It always started with you saying something, anything, and Minho making some stupid comment with that damn smirk on his face.
Your first reaction was to feel embarrassed, blush rushing to your cheeks as you think of a good answer to give him. After that, you would pick on anything he said, making him roll his eyes every time you opened your mouth.
That was your thing, annoying each other.
One night, after everyone drank themselves to unconsciousness on the floor of your apartment, you decided to take a shower to sober up and go to sleep too.
You thought everyone was sleeping, clearly you were wrong because you bumped into Minho as soon as you opened the bathroom’s door. He was waiting outside, turning around to look at you the moment he heard the door.
He checked you out, staring at you up and down, biting his bottom lip before showing you that pretentious smile of his. That made you hold onto the towel tightly around you, afraid that he could undress you with only his eyes.
“Looking good”, he says, leaning against the wall. His comment makes your whole face hot and you just pray you were not as red as a tomato.
“You are drunk”, you scoff, trying to recompose yourself, walking past him.
He grabs your wrist, forcing you to turn around to bump right into his chest. He's looking down on you and you can't muster up the courage to look him in the eyes, just staring at his chest.
“I'm very much sober”, he tells you, mockery in his tone.
“Okay”, you mumble. Even though you're avoiding his gaze you can feel the intensity of his stare without having to look at him, “can you let go? I want to go to bed”
“Maybe I could keep you company”, he whispers, bending down to reach your height, making you look into his eyes now.
You shake your head frantically, closing your eyes.
“Are you sure? I'm very good company”, he whispers in your ear, he has gotten even more close now.
You gulp, feeling the warmth spreading through your whole body, making the tingling sensation grow in your stomach and that's the moment you knew there was no turning back.
You woke up alone in your bed, so exhausted and sore you couldn't lift an arm. Flashbacks from the prior night came rushing in, making you want to scream. What the hell did you do? How would you look at his face now?
You look around to find a tray with orange juice and pancakes on top of your bedside table. You snatch the note that's glued to the tray so fast it's embarrassing, feeling your cheeks warm up.
“Enjoy the food. I had fun last night, let's do it again. - Minho”
An involuntary smile creeps in while you read his simple and nothing romantic sentence, you don't know why you felt so flustered and excited, was it because he was handsome? Was it the remaining feeling of a great night? You just thought it would be okay to have this kind of relationship with Minho, just pure carnal desire.
Minho was always very good at setting his boundaries and crossing them too, so good it often made you confused.
Minho would call you at midnight and talk to you till 4 in the morning, fuck classes the other day.
Minho wouldn't spare you a glance for an entire week until you received a text from him, telling you to meet at janitor's closet nearby so you could fuck before class.
Minho would buy you flowers, take you on a date and hold your hand, whispering sweet nothings in your ear after spending another night together.
Minho wouldn't want to go out with you on valentine's day, saying he was busy.
Minho would introduce you to his mom, he would take you to have dinner with his family and his cats.
Minho wouldn't ask you to be his girlfriend even after months, actually, he would often tell you how good it was that you were friends.
You were already tired of this situation, he would give you so many mixed signals, messing with your head. The last straw was when you were at his house and his phone buzzed while he was in the bathroom, you mistook it for yours and grabbed it instinctively to look at the screen, seeing texts from a girl.
You shouldn't feel jealous, you're nothing more than fuck buddies and you're not exclusive, you know you're not. Then why did that feel like a punch on your stomach?
You wanted to fight with him, yell, make a scene, but you had no right doing that. So you just collected your things and left without saying goodbye.
You spend a week avoiding him, every time he wants to come to you, you tell him you are out. Every time he asks you to go to him, you tell him you are busy. You finally decided to let him go and you are just mustering up the courage to tell him that.
You even downloaded a dating app, thinking that you could maybe distract yourself, maybe you could think about anything other than Lee Minho. But every man reminded you of him, how they were not him, how they didn't stand a chance against him.
After talking for a few days with someone new, you agree to go on a date. While you're getting ready, your phone buzzes, taking your attention out of your reflection on the mirror.
Minho: come over
Minho: I miss your face
You: Can't
Minho: what's your excuse today?
Minho: I can go to yours if that's the problem
You: I'm going out soon
You: I have a date tonight
You throw your phone on the bed, not in the mood to engage in conversation with him. You're actually afraid that he'll tell you to go on, because even though you know he doesn't care, it's different to have him sending you off to a date with someone else. You finish getting ready, grabbing your phone and purse, giving yourself a last look in the mirror to make sure everything is in place.
The date goes well, the guy is so fun and respectful. You go to a beautiful restaurant, he opens the car door for you, pulls the chair for you to sit before dinner and pays the bill. He smiles the entire night and compliments you, asking questions about everything: school, family, friends, he just seems very interested in anything related to you.
You enjoy his company, he makes you believe that you will be able to get over Minho, that maybe he can help you with that.
It's after midnight when he leaves you in your apartment, watching as you get inside the building safely. The night was perfect, you just didn't expect to find Minho at your doorstep.
He turns around quickly when he hears your footsteps, looking you up and down and scowling, noticing your blurred lipstick.
“Did you have fun?” He asks, scoffing.
“Yes, I did”, you say, walking to your door to open it so you can go in.
“Did you fuck?” He asks, shamelessly, making your head snap to look at him.
“That's none of your concern”, you whisper yell, trying not to wake up the neighbors but shocked by his bluntness.
“It is, I don't like people touching what's mine”, he says, through gritted teeth.
He's so close you can feel his breath hitting your skin, making you nervous, trying to find your keys inside your purse.
“I'm not fucking yours, we are nothing”, you glare at him when you have the keys in your hands.
“You should tell yourself that while I fuck you stupid, I'm sure the only person on your mind at that moment is me”, he spits, his anger growing.
“Well, I'll not be doing that anymore”, you inform him. Unlocking your door and walking inside.
“What? Why are you acting like this, Y/N?” He says, walking behind you. “Things were going great until now”
“It was great for you”, you say, throwing your purse on the couch, turning around to look at him and crossing your arms. “Being just your booty call is not enough for me anymore, I want more”
Your voice sounds more weak than you meant to in your last sentence, you want to cry. You didn't plan to end things like this, not right now.
You can almost see the gears turning on Minho's head, he's trying to find a way out.
“You told me you didn't want to date”, he accuses you.
“I really didn't want to”, you sigh, “but we've been doing this for months, Minho. It's impossible for me to not feel anything other than just horny”
“Well, I do like you”, he clears his throat, looking anywhere but your face, “I just don't want to date anyone right now”, he completes.
“Then we are done”, you tell him, shrugging and smiling bitterly.
“No, no”, he takes a step closer, grabbing your hands and bringing them to his mouth, kissing them. “Don't say that”
He places your hands around his neck, sliding his behind your back, wrapping your waist with his arms. You want to tell him off, want to tell him to go away, that you two are really over, but his scent is just so intoxicating, you can't help but take a deep breath.
“What are you doing?” You manage to say, feeling his lips brushing against yours.
“I'm showing you my affection”, he whispers.
You almost melt into his arms, feeling his lips press against yours. He kisses you deeply, his arms holding you tightly.
Minho starts walking, making you take steps back. He leads you to your room, slowly helping you lie down on your bed.
Minho takes his shirt off, looking down on you and leaning to kiss you again, soft lips pressing lightly on yours, his hands traveling through your body, making you shiver to his touch.
He pulls your dress off of you, looking at your chest.
“Didn't wear a bra?” He smirks, “did you want him to touch your tits? Hm?”, he asks condescendingly, leaning closer to your breasts, licking your hard nipples, making goosebumps rise all over your body. One of his hands slide down on your stomach, reaching your covered pussy.
“Oh?” Minho disconnects his mouth from your chest. “Are you sure you two didn't fuck? Why are you so wet? Did you let him play with you?” He's smiling playfully, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. He's staring deeply at you, daring you to tell him you wanted your date to fuck you.
“Maybe I should have”, you challenge, he has no right to inquire what you did or didn't do on your date.
“Really?” He scoffs, standing up and you just watch, afraid he'll leave. However, he starts unbuckling his pants. “I guess I've been too nice to you this whole time, y/n. Since you apparently don't know who fucking owns you”
You feel your whole body shudder, you should be mad, not excited about what he said. Then why is there a pool forming on your already wet panties? You never really noticed that Minho was the possessive type, but thinking about it, it was quite strange how he always had his hands on you whenever you were out. Other than holding hands, he often would just wrap his hand around the back of your neck while you walked together, like he wanted to claim you, let people know you were not available.
Minho leans over you again, pulling the soaked piece of fabric down your legs. He grabs your waist, flipping you around effortlessly and positions himself in between your legs, caressing your ass as you get on all fours.
He's not really worried with foreplay since you're plenty wet, he's more preoccupied with putting you in your place. So he drags the head of his cock through your folds, soaking his cock on your arousal before pushing it in.
“Min-Minho”, you gasp at his fast thrust. “Slow down”
“I don't think so”, he bends down a bit, sliding his hand through your back until he reaches your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair, pulling it all together. “The way you're squeezing my cock, tells me you like it when I treat you like the toy you are”, he tells you, smacking your ass in an unexpected slap.
You shake your head, unable to talk. His cock is reaching everywhere, like he always do. That's the worst part, he always fucks you so well and you always want more.
“Fuck”, you groan when your knees give in but Minho doesn't stop. He forces your legs open, leaning on top of you to keep fucking you from the back. His mouth is so close from your neck now, he starts biting your skin, sucking so hard you're sure you won't be able to cover the hickeys with makeup later. “I'm close”, you cry out when you feel his teeth on your shoulder.
“Tell me you're mine if you want to finish”, he tells you, slowing down his movements. But you shake your head, not giving in that easily. Minho sinks his teeth on your neck once more, sucking and licking the sensitive skin, he knows how much that turns you on even more.
“Come on, babe. I know you want to”, he says one more time but you hold it in, making him huff angrily, changing the pace of his thrusts again to deep strong movements that rip the air out of your lungs, “fucking say it”
You feel the tears brimming and running through your cheeks, the overwhelming feeling of the pending orgasm making your mind hazy.
“I'm yours, I am-”, you struggle to spit the words.
You can feel his smile on your skin while he disconnects his teeth, leaving a kiss on the reddened area.
“Was it that hard?”, he says, sliding his hands to your folds, sinking his fingers on your already full pussy to wet them. Minho brings said fingers to your clit, making circling movements accompanied by your moans, choking on the pleasure.
“Please, please, don't stop”, you cry out feeling the tightening on your lower stomach, the heat spreading to all your body, making you moan loudly when you finally reach your orgasm.
“Fuck, keep squeezing me like that.”, Minho groans, thrusts getting sloppy. He puts his hand behind your neck, pressing the side of your face to the pillow. “I love seeing your fucked out face while I cum, kitten”
Minho moans, releasing his load inside of you, making you squirm beneath him, feeling his warm shot. With no energy, you just feel him pulling out of you and throwing himself by your side.
When your high starts subsiding it hits you that you're still at the same place as before, so even though you just want to cuddle with him at that moment, you turn your face to look at him and ask.
“What are we now?”
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A/N: as always, feedback is VERY important to writers, so please leave a comment, reblog or stop by my DM, I love to hear your thoughts on my stories!
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weakformingyu · 29 days
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weakformingyu · 1 month
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Why men?
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weakformingyu · 1 month
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Reblog this if you would not only accept, but welcome fan art, moodboards, etc. of your fics
All of these used to be so common for people to show their appreciation of different fics and authors, and I think it’s a shame people don’t do it anymore. I love seeing fan work for my fics!!
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weakformingyu · 1 month
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CHILLI!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO HOT HSTIYSDHIRSSYHFUHGFJF I LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL BRAIN 😩😩
One Last Time
Ex-husband!Bang Chan x afab!Reader
✦ Genre: Soon to be exes to lovers [18+ MDNI] ✦ Summary: Petty claims of possession lead to one last night of pleasure.
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✦ CW: Choking/ light breath play, pussy spanking [for a second], Unprotected sex [wrap it up party people], Size Kink [for a second], Oral (f rec.), Chan is... aggressive(??), Chan is referred to as Chris, He calls you a bitch once. only once. ✦A/N: Bang Chan made me do it. There's barely any plot in sight. I wrote this in 4 hrs in the middle of the night. Enjoy! + reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡
✧ Masterlist ✧
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It’s funny how things change. Day turns to night, hot to cold and love to pure seething hatred. 
Okay, maybe that’s a bit dramatic but you swear that that’s all you can feel swarming in your chest as you sit across from your soon to be ex-husband. 
He made a show of things at the settlement meeting this afternoon. He pushed back on every negotiation you made which has led you to where you are now. Each of you on your side of the bed with a pile of stuff littering the Egyptian cotton sheets that he just has to take with him. 
“There. Are you happy now?” You throw the last item on top of his pile and Chris stares down at the item with that damned smirk that you used to love. “Almost.”
He stands from the mattress, dark eyes on something behind you. He grabs it before you can turn. “I bought you this purse.”
The muffled thud of his hard bottom shoes against the carpet is all that you hear before he turns the black designer bag upside down. The contents clatter against his shoes, items rolling in different directions as you watch with a clenched jaw. 
He’s circling back to his side of the bed as you call upon the might of the gods to keep yourself calm. After being married for five years Chris has learned each and every one of your buttons and how hard he needs to press them just to tick you off. 
You’ve decided not to give him the satisfaction of making a scene. That’ll only feed his ego. Besides, he has buttons of his own, some that you installed yourself.
“Now I’m happy.” He drops the bag into his pile, smiling before you like he’d just gotten away with a million bucks. “Yeah?” 
Two can play that game. “I bought you that suit.” The smirk on blushed lips transfers to your painted ones as you stare over at him with arms crossed over your chest. 
“I’d like it back.” With an innocent bat of your lashes Chris smiles. It’s gone just as fast as it came and it doesn’t reach his eyes. He's pissed. 
“You’re fucking serious?” You hold your hand out to him. “Dead serious.”
Dark eyes are staring into darker ones as he holds your gaze. You’ve gotten used to him challenging you. You’ve gotten used to him being a petty asshole and you’ve learned how to play him at his own game. 
You watch as he pops the button of his suit jacket. Tongue in cheek while his fingers work to free him of the fabric. His eyes stay on yours as he peels the smoky threads from his shoulders. He shimmy’s it down thick arms, pulling at the cuffs until he’s free of it. He’s left in a skimpy t-shirt before you and you take the liberty of letting your eyes wander. 
“Want the pants too?” Chris throws the jacket over into your pile before his hands start to fiddle with the metal of his buckle. “Keep ‘em. They’re the nicest thing you own now.” 
He mumbles something incoherent under his breath, his hand comes up to rake through his hair as his eyes wander the space you used to share. His gaze stops at your vanity, busy eyes study your open jewelry box then look back to you. 
“I gave you those earrings.” He stalks towards the table, snatching the gold studs off of the surface and slipping them into his pocket. “And..” 
The muffled thud of his shoes is all you can hear over the thick tension pulsing around you. It’s all that you can hear over your own enraged heartbeat. “This necklace.” The clasp is snapped from around your neck before you can breathe a protest. You gasp at the sudden pressure of your chain being ripped from you. 
“What the fuck.” That smirk is stolen  back when he slips the jewelry into his pocket. He stands in front of you, barely an inch between you as your chests rise and fall in unison. “You’re fucking ridiculous.”
“Me?” He fakes a pout, blinking over at you. “I didn’t do anything” 
“Whatever, you got your stuff, get out.” You’re hissing at him, heart racing and blood bubbling with the annoyance you’ve been harboring for the length of this insufferable process. “I’m done with you.”
“Not so fast.” he says slowly, his hands finding your waist before you can step around him. You attempt to shrug off his grip and fail. “I bought you that too.” 
His eyes trail from your eyes to your lips. His tongue darts out to lick over his own as he stares. “That lipstick.” His eyes find yours again.
“Fuck off, Chris.” There’s a bite to your tone that makes him smile. He’s always loved a challenge. 
“I bought it.” He pulls you into him by your waist. Your body is flush with his and one of his hands quickly abandon the plush flesh to wrap around your neck. “ I wan’ it back. I think that’s fair.”
It’s dark on dark as he leans in, eyes searching each others frantically as Chris closes the gap and kisses you gently. It barely makes a sound, it’s feather light and quick. 
“You want it back?” You whisper against his lips and he nods. “Then I want the pants.” 
That fucking smirk pulls at his red stained lips and his mouth is on yours in an instant. It’s hot and messy, drowning out the previous softness. You grab at his arms, clawing down the flesh while his fingers dig into your hips. 
He licks into your mouth with a desperate groan as you turn your heads left and right, his tongue explores your mouth as he takes in the taste of you one last time. Your arms wrap around his neck as one of his hands grab at the swell of your ass.
 “Fuck.” He groans against you, stealing another kiss before you catch his bottom lip between your teeth. “Up.” With a firm smack on your ass you jump up and his hands find purchase on the curve of your bottom over your dress. 
You fall into a mess of tugging and moaning. The tension you once felt in your chest melts into pleasure as his hands wander your bareskin. He drops you onto the mattress, pushing the sorted piles out of the way and hovering over you in your ripped dress as you lay sprawled out on the sheets before him. 
“Gonna miss this.” Chris’ mouth is stained cherry red with your lipstick, it’s smeared over your cheeks and it compliments the bruises that he’s sucking into your skin. You bunch his shirt up his back, scratching along the way and leaving your own marks as you please. 
“Shut up, eat my pussy.” You pull him back with a fist full of his hair, he hisses a moan through clenched teeth as his own hand finds it’s way around your throat again. He squeezes this time. It’s just enough to have your eyes flutter shut, just enough to get you right where he wants you. 
“Can’t you be my good girl for one more night? Can’t you stop being a bitch for just a second, baby?” Chris leans down with a tighter squeeze. Your fingers wrap around his wrist, your nails digging into the flesh. “Did you already forget who the fuck I am?”
He loosens his grip giving you the satisfaction of that blissful rush before squeezing again. “Do you see how small you are?” He whispers, placing a kiss by your ear. “Do you feel how strong I am, baby? Don’t you know how this goes?”
A moan is all he gets as he pulls back to admire you. Your pretty mouth is parted with a silent moan as your thighs press together in a desperate attempt at cumming. “I should make you suck my cock.” His knee wedges between your legs and presses hard against your core. 
“I should fuck this pretty throat. I should get you back for being such a fucking brat through all of this.” The hand that was around his wrist scratches up his arm as he lets up again, letting the blood rush and giving you the dizzy feeling he knows you love. “I should -”
Your fingers wrap around his neck before he can finish his thought. Fierce eyes stare up into his as your other hand moves to unbutton his pants. “Just gimme what’s mine.”
Your hand slips into the waistband of his underwear as you pull him closer to you. “Wan’ my cock?” He moans at the soft feeling of your fingers wrapping around the tip. Eye’s fluttering shut as he attempts to take a breath against your grip.
 “‘S mine.” You lean up to his ear. “Isn’t it daddy?”
It was quick when he pinned you against the mattress. Both of your wrists were in his grip before he shifted them both to one hand to free his cock for you. “You’re a fucking tease. You’re so fucking predicatable, you know that?” He’s hissing as he fights with the fabric of his pants and your dress. 
“You want a reaction outta me, huh? Wanna rile me up, sweetheart?” With a shift of hands and a grunt he’s turning the two of you over. You follow him with a gasp, straddling his waist and sitting over his cock with your clothed cunt. “C’mon I’ll let you. Use me, get what you want.”
Your resolve sinks as his cock twitches against your core. Chris is lying beneath you looking like a sin personified and you feel compelled to indulge in his offer. He is still your husband after all. 
Your panties are pushed to the side in an instant. Chris’ wrists are pinned over his head while you grind your cunt over him. Sloppy sounds of you working over his leaking cock swirl in the hot air and Chris watches it all with drooping lids as you work against him. “Put it in, lemme watch it.”
You ignore him, slowing your grind to counter his request. “C’mon, baby, lemme feel you. I can make you feel so good. Let daddy fuck you, c’mon.” He watches you, head reeled back and moans dripping from your lips like drool as you  do as you please. 
“Fuckin’ tease.” He breaks free from your hold, hands wrapping around your waist and guiding the grind of your hips just as your clit catches on the head of his cock. “I asked nicely.” 
His cock catches at your entrance as he controls you. The push of him against your pussy has your mouth open in a silent scream as he bullies his cock into you. “You keep forgetting who I am, hm?” He sits up, landing a firm smack to your ass to match his brutal thrust as you settle in his lap.
“Chris, shit, just fuck me. Fuck me.” Your nails are in his back, drawing lines that could surely draw blood. He hisses at the pain, smiling with a bite of his tongue as he fucks up into you. 
His hips snap into yours, gradually picking up the pace until you’re falling apart against him. Chest to chest, you’re panting into each other. Littering the thick air with profanities as he splits you open on his dick. “Oh my fucking god, Chris. More. More more more, please. C’mon.”
“Take it.” He growls below you, allowing you to push him back against the mattress and ride his cock to your heart's content. “That’s it, take it. It’s yours, all yours.”
Your nails dig into his pecks, leaving marks on the flawless skin and you use him for leverage. The loud smack of skin against skin decorates the air accompanied by your moans.
 “Don’t hold back, baby. Enjoy that fucking ride.” He thrusts up into you, meeting you halfway. “Let loose, just like that.”.
Chris is rambling under you, mumbling under his breath and growling praises when he fucks deep into you. 
“Fuck me, fuck me harder. Wan’ it harder.” It’s dark on dark again. Hooded eyes stare into each other void of rage, the only priority is pleasure. You’re only here to take advantage. 
“Wan’ me harder?” He fucks into you, moaning at the squeeze you give. “Wan’ me deeper?”
With a lift of his hips Chris flips you over. “Be good for me, yeah? One last time, be a good fucking girl and lay on your back for me. Lemme eat this pretty pussy.” He rips your dress down your frame with a grunt. Your panties get the same treatment before he’s falling to his knees before you. 
“Gonna miss you on your knees.” You prop yourself up on your elbows, staring down at him behind a fucked out haze. “Lookin’ so pretty for me with a mouth full of my cunt.”
With a smirk Chris licks a wet stripe from your hole to your clit. He swirls his tongue around the bud, sucking it between red stained lips and flicking it. Your head drops back against the mattress with a loud moan. Your hands comb through and grab at his damp dark locks but he quickly repositions you to hold yourself open for him. 
“Watch me eat it.” He reaches up, brushing your chin with his fingertips. He lays a flat wet lick to your pussy, hooded eyes staring up into yours. “Eyes on me. Eyes on daddy.”
He spreads your cunt with his fingers, holding you open for him while he spits down onto your clit. He collects it all on his tongue, licking it over the nub before spitting it back. Sloppy slurps against a drooling pussy is all that fills the room. “Daddy, please, wanna cum on your cock.”
He pulls back with a pop, spitting back down onto your cunt. He watches it drip down to your hole, following the stream with his fingers to press it into you. 
“You wan’ me deep right?” His middle and pointer fuck you open as he coos. “Want me to spread this tiny cunt on my dick?” You’re moaning. Panting confirmations and whining pathetically into the air. 
“Then hold it.” He kisses your clit, sucking it in then releasing. “Don’t cum.”
“Please.” You moan a plea, unraveling little by little with each suck and flick of your clit. His fingers fuck you open, curling into your soft spot and pushing you further towards the edge that you’re trying to avoid. 
You could just cum. You could just take what he’s giving you instead of following the rules but it’s so good like this. He’s so good like this. You miss him giving you what you want.
“Chris, ‘m gonna cum for you. I can’t. Please jus’ gimme.” He blinks up at you with pussy drunk eyes as his kiss bitten lips move against you despite your begging. “Daddy, please. I wan’ your cock.”
"Don't cum for me yet" he speaks against your cunt before licking a wet kiss up to your clit. 
"I can't, Chris. I can't, I can't, I'm gonna cum." Your eyes are glued to the way he licks up and down your swollen pussy. Taunting you with the skill he's gained over the years. He's pushing your buttons again.  
"Daddy, daddy, daddy, please you have to let me. You’re gonna make me cum. Your mouth, your fucking mouth, please let me cum."
You're babbling, you know you are. You’re slipping through the cracks quickly and you can’t do a thing to stop it. There’s no going back and Chris knows it but he still smacks the inside of your thigh. Warning you to be good for him and let him build you up a bit more before you take his cock again.
"Don't." He kisses your clit. "Cum." He sucks the bud into his mouth and swirls his tongue over it with a moan. He's a madman if he thinks you could survive that. 
"Fuck, 'm cumming. I'm cumming, 'm sorry." You’re shaking, your nails dig into your thighs as you keep yourself open for him.  "Cumming, 'm cumming, I can't stop cumming, I can't stop cumming."
He moans into you as he laps up every drop of arousal that you're giving him. He commits your sweet taste to memory with one final swipe of his tongue before he’s kissing up your stomach. 
His lips trail up the valley of your breasts. He licks over the mound, sucking your nipple into his mouth and swirling it with a hum. Once he’s satisfied he moves to your shoulder, kissing and licking his way over to your collarbone then finally his lips are back on yours.
You’re gasping as you tremble through your orgasm, aftershocks wash over you as you taste yourself on his tongue. Chris smirks, whispering against your lips. "No one else will make you feel this good, baby. No one else will make you cum like this.”
The head of his cock slips through your dripping folds, catching against your clit before he’s pushing in. “This is mine. All mine." He sinks in to the hilt then slowly drags his cock back against your walls. 
“This is what I want.” He straightens up, looking down at your pretty face contorted in pleasure. 
“All of that other shit doesn’t matter.” He moans, holding your thighs back to get a perfect view of you.  “I wanna watch it. Wanna see the way my pussy opens up for me. ‘S mine, isn’t it, baby? Tell me this shit is mine.”
“Yours, it’s yours. Fuck, ‘s fucking yours, please, you’re gonna make me cum.” Chris slows his strokes, grinding deep into you and dipping his hips to hit the soft spot that turns you into putty for him.
You’re drooling at the feeling. Tears threaten to fall from the corners of tired eyes as you watch the way he admires your cunt. The corner of his bottom lip is tugged and held firm between his teeth as he fights back his moans so that he can hear yours clearer.
“Shit, You’re gonna make me cum. Gonna make me fucking cum, make daddy cum.” The precise snap of his hips grows sloppy as the seconds pass. His once slow grind is now erratic. He’s purely seeking pleasure, sinking deeper into the haze with every drag. 
“Fuck, squeeze me. Yeah, just like that, that’s my girl. Pretty fucking girl on my cock.” Each thrust is met with a slap to your clit. You jolt at the contact, back arching off of the mattress. “Cum for me. Cum on my dick.” 
With one more flick of your clit you're trembling beneath him. Your cunt sucks him in and he takes it all with a loud moan. Chris lets your legs fall so that he can hover over you. He holds himself up on his elbows as he kisses you through your climax. You moan into it, shaking with each thrust and twitch of his cock. 
“Shit, that’s good. So good, baby, ‘m gonna cum.” The frantic bucking of his hips against yours comes to a halt as he falls apart. 
Moans tumble forward as he does. His muscles tense and his eyes roll back as he drives himself deep into you, filling you with every drop of himself that he has to offer. Chris collapses on top of you, his weight pinning you in place. 
You pant below him, coming down from your high as aftershocks wash over him. He kisses your neck, breathing heavily into your skin. 
“Now.” He pulls back slightly, gaze catching yours. “Now I’m happy.”
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Thank You For Reading! Please Reblog or Comment to let me know how you liked it! It makes my day! 💕
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weakformingyu · 1 month
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I need this, please 🙏🏻
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This is the magic lucky word count. Reblog for creativity juice. It might even work, who knows.
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weakformingyu · 1 month
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Hello! I just finished reading your fic Unwritten and absolutely loved it. I was just wondering, will it have another chapter? Ty ❣️
Hello! The story was supposed to have 2 chapters but I couldn't write for it anymore. So I'm going to rewrite this fic and post the whole story in one long chapter. I have been stuck in a writing block for a while now but I'm trying to get back on writing.
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weakformingyu · 1 month
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SEVENTEEN as TEXT POSTS #5
( low quality and unedited cause its funnier that way )
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weakformingyu · 1 month
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WAIT, jokes about suicide worsen my mental health? ☠️ Who am I if I can't tell a joke about kms at least once a day?
this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen
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weakformingyu · 2 months
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Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.
I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻
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weakformingyu · 2 months
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weakformingyu · 2 months
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KIM MINGYU I LOVE U SO MUCH I THINK I MIGHT DIE
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weakformingyu · 2 months
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Sun kissed✨❤
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weakformingyu · 2 months
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hey let's have this conversation again since the like/reblog ratio is getting SOOOO much worse. if you like content, reblog it. the people who follow you cannot see when you've liked a post, unless your likes are visible and they are routinely going through them, which i assure you they are not. by reblogging content, you are making it visible to other accounts. fanart, gifs, edits, etc. may be fun to make but they are very time consuming and it is much appreciated that if you enjoy them, you take the brief moment to reblog them to show that appreciation - and it helps. as fun as they may be, it is often kind of discouraging for posts to not do well because for every one person that reblogged it, five left a like and kept it pushing
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weakformingyu · 2 months
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Please remember your favorite writers are attention whores with a praise kink, they need validation to survive. Feed them comments and reblogs to save a life.
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weakformingyu · 2 months
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brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, I LOVE THIS SERIES
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lunacy | city lights series | h.js
You could no longer hide your infatuation over Joshua Hong. It was becoming painfully obvious, though you weren't sure to what extent he was aware of this. Or if he even cared, for that matter.
✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: angst, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbors with benefits ✮ word count: 18.8k
↣ part i – part ii – part iii – navi post – other fics
₊🎧: underwater - baekhyun ♡︎ | shutdown - moon byul and seori ♡︎ | beautiful liar - monsta x ♡︎ | more - i.m ♡︎ ₊ nsfw warnings under the cut!!
✮ warnings: mentions of menstruation, smut with plot, dom Joshua, sub reader, big dick Joshua, phone sex, dirty talks, foul language, corruption kink, praise kink, exhibitionism: bj in a public space, cum swallowing, multiple sex scenes, masturbation, oral sex (f, m), brat taming: orgasm denial and pussy slaps, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names: pretty girl, baby, princess, sweetheart, bunny (hers) baby boy (his)
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part iv
In your few years being a full time writer, you've made little traditions to keep for yourself.
For example, each time you started outlining your drafts, you'd go to a special spot in your favorite library, near the windows to watch people walk by on the streets. It helps your brain flow with ideas and brainstorm for hours.
Whenever you need to come up with stronger ideas for a plot, or find yourself in a bit of a writer's block, you go to the rooftop of your building. A tradition which has started to taint under the memories of you and Joshua, because quite inevitably, you start thinking of him.
And whenever you submit a finished draft, you tend to go elsewhere. Literally, you buy a ticket and go somewhere else, distract yourself for a little while, even sometimes, you give yourself the luxury to stay in a hotel for a night or two and come back feeling like a new person.
This time, you only bought a ticket for same day travel. But the method of transportation was by train. Which suited your needs a little bit more: you could see the landscape roll by your eyes, the openness of the outskirts of your city was beautiful—so different from looking out the window and seeing big tall buildings and billboards.
You've only visited this city once, when you published your first book years ago. As a young writer, you didn't have much money to go anywhere but there.
But you came across a gem: the town was colorful, it had its own quiet magic of a place loved and celebrated by the people who lived there.
When you first visited, you felt alien to the silent movement of the day. It was so strange to you that at first you got an eerie chill that maybe you got to a ghost town by accident, being so used to the buzz of the city throughout the day.
That's why you chose to come here as soon as you submitted your finished draft. It felt like sending a love letter and then hiding under your bed covers.
There was a small creek in the middle of the beautiful town, and a wooden bridge stood above it. You sat on a bench near the creek, the only noise filling your brain was the current of the stream.
Until the buzz of your phone interrupted that peace.
[9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: good news! [9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: you've been green lighted the second installment to your trilogy   [9: 14 AM] Yen ✿: yay! 🥰 [9: 15 AM] you: What? they already finished reading it? I sent it at midnight ???  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: of course you're up already  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: they haven't read it yet, that much i can tell you but  [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: idk what to say girl [9: 15 AM] Yen ✿: they already want to know you're working on book 2
That doesn't make sense, you said to yourself.
[9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: why do i feel like this is bad news  [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: are u not excited or  [9: 16 AM] you: I am! this is great!  [9: 16 AM] you: I'm already working on book 2 :) [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: great i'll tell them  [9: 16 AM] Yen ✿: btw what happened to mr hot neighbor  [9: 17 AM] Yen ✿: 👀👀  [9: 17 AM] you: Can we have that conversation on another day? I don't want to think about him right now [9: 17 AM] Yen ✿: fine
But it was entirely too late.
Memories of the last night you spent with Joshua started to flood your mind. You saw him last that Saturday night when you asked him to continue with your little agreement of being fuckbuddies.
He agreed. So you agreed to not see each other on Sunday, but what did happen was that he finally asked for your number. Though as expected, he hadn't texted yet.
That was another reason for your departure today. As soon as the clock hit midnight and it was Monday, you sent your file with the finished draft of your book and booked a ticket for the magical town you remember having visited in your first publishing experience.
Will he text? He hadn't all Sunday, so you didn't see it foreseeable that he would on Monday. Well, what do you actually know about him? You knew a few things. You seemed to have measured his behavior really well but what else did you know?
Nothing.
Not his birthday, his favorite color, his favorite song or movie. Does it matter? He's your fuckbuddy. There are no rules as to what you should know about the person you're fucking.
There may be a few details that are pertinent to doing what fuckbuddies do, yes. Like protection and being tested and such, a thing that you already had covered with Joshua, obviously.
But, should you know your fuckbuddy's favorite color? You knew that he didn't like to kiss you while fucking you, for example. And he conveniently fucks you in positions that distance your hands from his face so you can't touch him either.
Why does that feel like a bitter pill to swallow? Ah, yes. You have a terrible infatuation over him. Like a thorn that you do not dare to remove. In fact, you like the pain you get from it because it's the only thing you'll get.
You let out a broken sigh, swallowing your tears. You felt particularly emotional that day—a sign of your upcoming cycle, so your hormones were working twice as hard.
Another reason to stay away from Mr. Hot Neighbour, if you will.
Despite the sunny day, the temperature was growing colder, so that the season was changing to winter. You liked the mixed taste of it, the sunny sky and chill in the air, sitting by the peaceful creak of the ghost town.
You had a pending decision looming in your mind from the moment you took the train in the break of daylight. Should you tell Joshua how you feel? Is it something you thought helped your situation?
There was nothing you could compare your situation to your past experiences. Your past lovers never got to be as relevant as Joshua. No lover ever shook your heart so hard to the point of hurting. It wasn't just the sex, or his crushing beauty—you were well aware of that. 
You just fell in love of the way your bodies synced together. The way that he seemed to hear your thoughts and read the way your body moved so well. He made you feel seen.
Maybe it's not a great idea to confess to him. But you could try another way, maybe taunt him with silly questions about love, like you did before. 
After what seemed like an hour had passed, you opened the small portable cooler you brought with your person. You came prepared with a meal to have in the quietness of the creak, hearing the sounds of nature and the quiet life of the little town around you.
It was a peaceful day, the only thing that disrupted it was your pending talk with Joshua, which still resided in your head, wasn't even a fact yet.
You planned to stay until sunset, which due to the fact that winter was onset, happened early. You chose to read a book on the two hour trip back home, which was a good choice since it had been a while since you read something other than your own work.
In the elevator of your building, you found yourself wishing for a night of peaceful uninterrupted sleep. You didn't want to suffer from insomnia for a good while, although you knew that with your second book green lit, that might be happening soon.
You stifled a yawn as you got to your apartment. It was 7 PM and you decided that it might be a good idea to prepare yourself for bed. You drew yourself a bath, had a small meal and went overboard and induced yourself to sleep with melatonin—for good measure.
The good thing was that it was a dreamless, heavy sleep.
You woke up the next day feeling incredibly groggy and much to your demise, felt the silent announcement of the beginning of your cycle. With a groan, you dragged yourself out of bed and kick started your day.
[11:55 AM] joshua: bunny, are you busy today?
You stared at your screen for a good while. You were in the middle of your daily chores, cleaning your mail and responding to some others when your phone buzzed on your desk.
You turned the silent mode on and decided to respond to it later.
Why does he have to call you that? Does it hurt him to call you by your name?
Easy, you told yourself.
[18:31 PM] joshua: i'll take that as a yes ? [18:34 PM] you: I'm free tonight
You bit your lip. God, why do you feel like a teenager that time you first talked to the person you had a crush on?
[18:34 PM] you: But we can't do anything [18:34 PM] joshua: what do you mean ? [18:37 PM] joshua: are you in?
Your stomach dropped.
[18:37 PM] you: Are you outside my door right now?  [18:37 PM] joshua: where else? [18:37 PM] joshua: open up [18:37 PM] you: Let yourself in
You removed your cancellation headphones from your head and attempted to smooth your hair to appear at least decent and not like the little study mouse you were the whole day.
"Bunny? Where are you?" you heard his sweet voice call from the living room.
"In the study," you replied just as Joshua pushed the door open, sneaking his head in first.
"Hi there," he smiled at you sweetly, looking around like a child in a toy shop. "Wow, this room is so... you."
You laughed. "Is that so?"
"I like it," he nodded, looking at the shelves upon shelves stacked with books and clutter, collection toys and figures from your favorite media. Fairy lights on the walls, a couch on the side that hosted your small army of squishmallows that moved the first night that Joshua slept in.
"Thank you," you replied with an excited smile.
"So? What do you mean we can't do 'anything'?," he did bunny ears over the word.
"I'm... going through stuff," you said, making a circle motion with your palm toward your lower belly.
"Oh," he blinked, then cocked his head to one side. "And?"
It was your turn to blink in bewilderment. "What do you mean 'and'? Is it not super gross for men to even hear the word menstruation?"
"Maybe, for some. I don't know. I don't care," he shrugged with ease. "You've never had period sex, I take it?"
"Joshua! No!" you chastised, your stomach fluttering uneasily when he laughed.
His nose wrinkled as he giggled. "Sorry, but you can't expect me to be grossed out by a little blood. I've done it before, if it makes you feel better."
"It does not," you replied with sincerity, crossing your arms and standing from your armchair.
He was wearing what he usually wore when he was home. Sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. His hair was unlike the last time you saw him, it hung loose and you just loved it, it made you want to run your fingers through his dark locks.
"Well, if you don't want to have sex tonight, maybe we can chill instead, if you want," he shrugged as he took some aimless steps in your office room.
Your stomach tightened. "What do you mean?"
"We could watch a movie," his hand brushed his hair distractedly.
"I-I was actually about to go out," you blurted.
"Oh, you were?" his eyes scanned you briefly.
"To the drugstore. I'm... running out of supplies," you muttered, feeling your blood run to your cheeks.
He smirked. "Bunny, you don't have to be shy with me. Come on, I'll come with."
"O-okay," you muttered. "Let me get a bag."
It felt weird to walk down to the drugstore with Joshua strolling by your side. Doing simple ordinary things with him was something new to you, since you only saw him in your bedroom, and occasionally on the rooftop of the building you both live in.
When you found yourself wishing he would take your hand, you dug both your hands on the large pocket of your hoodie.
"How did it go? Your book thing," he asked, breaking the ice.
You smiled at his choice of words. "It went well. They want me working on the second book already."
"Oh, that sounds good," he gave you a gentle smile. "But they don't give you like, time to rest or something like that?"
"Well, I screwed up a bit because I was a little ahead of deadline and told them the second book was in the works, so there's no time to rest," you shrugged.
"I get it," he nodded. "I don't get days off either. It's either recording vocals, writing music, networking or something else."
"Did you have to work yesterday too?" you asked with genuine curiosity.
"I went back to the studio because Jihoon wanted me to re-record some lines. We went on a rabbit hole after that 'cause he's nervous about possibly working with major producers. We're self-produced for now," he smiled and rolled his eyes at the memory.
"Was it good though, at the end?"
"Oh, yeah. The perfectionist he is, he didn't stop until he okayed it," he nodded and opened the door of the drugstore for you and you muttered a word of thanks. "And the day before... Sunday. Yeah, I normally go out with my mom—or try to."
"Oh?" you pushed your eyebrows up. "What did you do this time?"
"We had lunch and then visited a botanical garden. Drove her home after that," he told you with an absent smile, probably remembering his day with his mom.
Your heart swelled with fondness. "That sounds really nice, Joshua," you replied, trying not to show the emotion you felt.
"Yeah," he seemed to snap himself from his train of thought, looking up to the aisles. "I don't know where I'm going, I'm following you."
You laughed. "Don't worry, you won't get lost baby boy," you said with an air of confidence as you turned to the aisle where you'd find what you needed.
"Did you just call me baby boy?" he giggled goofily.
You ignored him, throwing in the basket your supplies.
"You told me you needed supplies, bunny. What's this?" he said, looking up to the shelves. "Snacks?"
"These are my supplies," you said with a whine. "Don't judge me."
"I'm not judging," he lifted his palms to your view. "Whatever you need."
"I actually do need to collect something from the counter," you said, fishing your prescription from your pocket but not showing it to him.
"Oh, are you sick?" he inquired as he followed you out of the snacks section and toward the counter.
You kindly handed your prescription to the lady and she handed back birth control pills. Then when it was time to pay, you tried to hide your blushing face to Joshua, who could probably notice your natural shyness kicking in, no matter if he stood behind your back.
"Are you on the pill? Why did you never tell me?" he muttered beside you as you both walked out of the drugstore with your bag full of supplies.
"Not yet," you frowned, though your face felt hot. "In theory and according to this, I begin today," you told him, keeping your eyes glued to the sidewalk.
"I see," he replied, seemingly thoughtful. But then, he asked: "So we're watching movies tonight?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice," you admitted. "It's been ages since I watched a movie at home—or at the cinema, for that matter."
"Cinema," he smiled. "Sometimes I forget that you're an old lady."
"Shut up, Joshua," you scoffed but couldn't help the growing smile on your face.
The only way you could describe your apartment was something akin to a fortress: never short of food or supplies, you had everything you ever needed for entertainment, you worked there most of the time. You were lucky to have made it your little fortress—and well, also you worked hard to keep it that way.
When you got back home with Joshua, you freshened up in the bathroom and changed into comfier clothes and brought a blanket to the living room, where you had a decent tv screen.
"What do you prefer for tonight, princess?" Joshua asked as you returned to the living room wearing your comfiest attire.
"Aren't you choosing tonight?" you asked as you sat beside him on your couch and threw the blanket over your legs.
"What, you're not sharing?" he asked, looking at your fluffy blanket.
"I can bring another blanket for you," you blurted, feeling deeply embarrassed.
"What if I only want to share yours?" he pouted cutely, he even made puppy eyes.
Don't torture me like that, your inner voice pleaded to him. 
"I- we can share," you smiled abashedly. "Sorry, I just didn't think-"
"I'm just playing with you, bunny," he laughed merrily.
You stopped cold. "I- what do I do?" you blurted. "Do you want to share or not?"
"Oh, you sweet thing. Alright, let's share," he exhaled. "We're watching horror, then."
"O-okay," you muttered, feeling deeply flustered at the whole exchange.
The blanket covered you and Joshua perfectly. It was large enough to cover your whole bed. So you confidently propped your feet bundled up in fluffy socks on your coffee table without the blanket falling off or uncovering Joshua.
"You can do the same," you suggested to him after he saw you put your feet up on the surface of your otherwise neat coffee table.
"You're weird," he muttered, but followed you nonetheless, extending his large legs on the coffee table with yours.
"Why?" you frowned.
"You don't seem like the person who would tolerate feet on a table," he laughed. "But you always prove me wrong in something."
You felt your cheeks grow hotter. "What- why? Why does that make me weird? I just wanted to stretch my legs."
"I'm not saying it's a bad thing," he shrugged. "I mean, your apartment is always super clean and you're a bit haughty about certain things so I just thought-"
"I am not haughty!" you gasped.
"Ah, there we go again," he let out his high pitch giggle.
"Shut up, Joshua. You're not perfect either," you muttered with a pout.
"I know, sweetheart," he laughed harder.
"You-you're cocky," you blurted. "You're... you're..."
Joshua arched his eyebrows, waiting for your best worst descriptor.
But you just sighed: "God, you might be perfect."
He laughed harder. "Are you sure you're not ill? Let's take you to the doctor," he joked.
You scoffed. "Ugh, I'll take it back. You're the worst."
"I'm anything but perfect, baby. Far from it, actually. But I appreciate your lukewarm compliment," he said, sliding a hand under the blanket and finding your thigh, to which he gave a gentle squeeze.
With a jolt, you rose from the couch, visibly startling him. "I almost forgot my snacks! D-do you want something to drink?"
You hid yourself in your kitchen and heard his distant reply. "I'll have whatever you're having."
A silent sigh escaped you. You needed to find some kind of rein to your emotions when Joshua was around you.
"Does hot tea and milk sound okay?" you asked.
"Sounds great. Thanks," you heard.
You returned with a tray with two mugs and a plate full of your favorite sweet snacks. Joshua frowned slightly then you set the tray between you and him, setting a clear barrier between you two.
If he noticed you were creating some distance, he didn't say anything. And you silently thanked him for it.
Joshua chose a horror movie. If he did it because he enjoyed horror, he didn't look the part, not one bit. His face wore a frown in disgust throughout the whole thing—and it wasn't only because of gory depictions.
The film was deeply disturbing, to anyone in their right mind, it would seem. But you occasionally giggled at certain moments when Joshua flinched or even jumped on the couch. You never bat an eye, you even found the story a bit flimsy, reliant in shock value and with very evident plot holes.
"That was... something," you muttered as the credits rolled on the screen.
"You are scary," he told you, still looking deeply startled.
You let out a laugh. "Why?"
"You laughed when the lady found out that her daughter was dead!" he pointed with an obvious tone.
"What, it was funny," you shrugged. "I dunno, the face she made was funny. Thought it was a weird cry face."
His mouth parted, frown deepening. "That's psycho talk," he shook his head.
"Chill, it's just a movie," you huffed.
"You pick next time," he rolled his eyes. "But let's not watch horror in a while. I've had my fill."
You laughed. "You want me to hold you?" you teased.
"Yeah, that would be nice. Please and thank you," he mumbled in a low tone.
You realized he seemed serious for a moment. "Wait, you're not joking?"
"Yeah, I am," he laughed. "Unless you want to, though," he nodded at you with a cheeky smile that could only mean that he was now teasing you.
"I'm fine, thanks," you shook your head. "I don't find cultish things scary."
"What do you find scary, then?" he inquired, he leaned his head back on the sofa and turned to see you.
You were eating on your snacks. You were not hungry, just felt the need to keep your hands and mouth busy.
"I... don't know," you replied after a long minute.
"Interesting," he muttered.
"What is?"
"You are," he frowned slightly.
"Were you expecting me to curl up in a ball and ask you to hold me?" you taunted.
"Kind of? Yeah," he said, his eyebrows arched a bit.
"Well, maybe we can keep searching for the one horror movie that makes me want to do that," you suggested with a playful smile on your face.
He narrowed his eyes. "Oh, you might be a bit crazy," he joked. "Lucky for you, I'm a bit crazy too."
"Oh, yeah? And why does that make me the lucky one?"
"Because I might say yes," he muttered with a smirk.
"Deal it is, then," you lifted your chin almost proudly and tended your hand to him.
He shook it contentedly. "Deal. But not tonight, though. Maybe in a month—or two."
Your chest tightened at the sound of that. Time with him, making plans, made your heart flutter in your chest.
"Sure, whenever you're ready, baby boy," you replied with a grin.
He closed his eyes slowly. "God, why did I do to deserve this," he muttered with a downturned smile.
You rolled your eyes, then threw the blanket off your legs. "Bathroom break," you announced for the nth time, since during the movie you had a few. "I'll be back."
When you finally returned, Joshua was fast asleep on your couch, breathing deeply with his arms crossed on his chest.
The sight of it was warm, almost too cute to even process. You felt the urge to grab his cheeks and pinch them or squeeze the air out of his lungs.
Maybe you are crazy.
You picked up the tray from the couch, the barrier that kept his hands away from you and placed it on the kitchen counter, deciding to clean up the following morning.
Deciding on what to do with the large man asleep on your couch, you sat quietly beside him. Twiddling with your fingers. Should you wake him and tell him to go home? Should you suggest that he stay the night? He lived right next door, he could just walk to his bed in less than a minute.
But you wanted him to stay with you.
Then suddenly, he jerked awake with a loud grunt, throwing his hands at you like big claws. "Bwaaah!"
You let out a screech in sheer terror at having him give you the scare of your life. "Goddamnit, Joshua!" you slapped him on his shoulder repeatedly.
He laughed himself silly. "Got you," he muttered with teary eyes, not even trying to dodge or cover himself from your attacks.
"Yeah, yeah," you stuck out your tongue at him, making him laugh harder again.
"You're too cute," he said, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Screw you," you pouted.
He rolled his eyes. "Oof, don't go around saying that. You potty mouth," he teased with a grin still plastered on his stupidly beautiful face.
You scoffed, but fell short of witty replies to give him.
"How are you feeling?" he asked softly.
It took you two seconds to understand what he was referring to.
"Oh, I'm okay. Well, not okay but I just don't feel like dying yet," you muttered with an offhanded air.
He pouted cutely. "I'm going to pretend I know what that means."
Joshua was a few inches away from you, just at hand's reach, but you didn't dare touch him. Even if you were dying to.
You laughed. "I'm fine, Joshua. I can deal with the pain just fine."
"Oh, okay," he shrugged slightly. "I was about to offer a back rub, but given that you're okay..."
"I'd like that," you nodded, feeling your cheeks grow hotter. "I'd like that very much, please."
Joshua grinned. "Lie down, princess," he instructed, patting on his thigh once to indicate the place where he wanted you to lie your head.
You did so, lying on your tummy, head resting on his thigh and stretching your legs on the sofa. His large hands started massaging softly on your lower back, over your comfy clothes.
"Oh, oh? That feels good," you exclaimed, feeling bewildered. "You're really good at this."
"Why do you sound surprised?" he asked and you darted a look at his face, he flashed you a grin as he caught your eye.
"I-I'm not—well a little," you muttered as his hand pressed softly on your lower back alleviating the stress from the cramping you've had all day.
You scrunched up your face when he got to a region that activated your nerves, it didn't exactly hurt, but it made you clench your muscles in response.
"Does that hurt, bunny?" he muttered.
"It feels weird," you replied. "Keep going."
You heard a soft chuckle. "Do you like this?"
He used both hands to rub your lower back, fingers digging at the sides of your hips, applying just the right amount of pressure to your skin to make you groan in satisfaction.
"Yeah. Feels so good," you muttered, closing your eyes.
You could feel yourself letting loose, so much that you weren't aware when you fell asleep on his lap. What woke you up with a start was feeling your drool dripping from your parted lips and onto his lap.
The back rubs had stopped, in fact everything had stilled and when you darted a look up, you found Joshua asleep, still in the same sitting position he was when he was giving you back rubs.
It was 2 AM, you suspected that you had fallen asleep around 11 PM. So Joshua didn't dare move under the risk of waking you up.
He slowly stirred after noticing that you had moved from his lap.
"Hi there," he whispered groggily with the ghost of a smile.
"Let's go to bed," you muttered, not caring that you could simply tell him to go home.
You got up from your couch and dragged him along, silently thanking him for not protesting against your wishes.
He took off his large t-shirt as you threw the bed covers and climbed your bed before he did.
"What?" you asked when you saw him standing by the foot of the bed, his bare torso exposed to your view.
"Do you have an issue if I sleep in my briefs only?" he asked, genuinely curious.
You laughed. "Please. We've slept naked before," you muttered, but he didn't budge. "Yeah, 'm okay with it."
He took his sweatpants off and climbed to your bed, lying next to you.
You instinctively scooted closer to him and he smiled, sliding an arm under your body to drag your body so that now his chest was pressed to your back, his arms circling you so he was practically hugging you from behind.
"Are you feeling better?" he muttered, his nose slightly bumping the back of your ear.
"Yeah. Thank you Shua," you replied, snuggling in his embrace.
"Here to help," he whispered before pressing his lips on your hair.
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The rest of the week went smoothly.
Joshua had taken a liking to texting you when you least expected him to. Sometimes, he'd ask random questions, just to taunt you and make you blush. As if he knew the effect he had on you even without interacting with him in person.
[18:23 PM] joshua: are you free tonight princess? [18:23 PM] joshua: wait don't tell me [18:23 PM] joshua: you're working
You had been keeping him at bay all week by telling him you have to outline book two of your trilogy. Which was true, you unburied some old drafts, but decided that given the fact that book one underwent a lot of changes, book two would have to adopt those changes too.
But the reason why you made yourself busy was to keep yourself away from him. You were too nervous to face him again after that Tuesday night—in which you purely hung out together, no sex.
You let out a sigh.
[18:24 PM] you: I'm free tonight  [18:24 PM] you: Why?
It was now Saturday. You hadn't expected to see Joshua that night, since he usually had something planned during the weekend.
That being said, you totally weren't expecting a call from him.
"Yes?"
"God, you might be an old lady. Who answers the phone by saying 'yes'?" you heard him laugh.
"I'm hanging up," you cooed, trying to hide your smile.
God, how can he get you this flustered already?
"Wait, wait," you heard a giggle. "What are you wearing right now?"
"Really? Really, Joshua?" you gasped.
"No, wait I mean—don't hang up. I'm picking you up in an hour. We're going out," he told you, and you could tell that he was walking hurriedly, his breath hitching up as the buzz from the street filtered through the phone.
Your stomach dropped. "What, where? Jesus, give me some warning next time," you stood up from your desk and went to your bedroom.
"I am giving you a warning, right now. We have a gig tonight and it's a big thing for me. I want you to be there," he spoke in a lower tone, as if not wanting anyone else to hear.
"Well, I'm in my pyjamas. Hope that's fine with you," you joked. You were in fact not wearing pyjamas, but comfy clothes.
"The bunny pjs?" he inquired in a lower tone, but you could tell that he was smiling. "Oh no, sweetheart. I love to see you in that but I'm afraid that's not going to do."
"Well that's what you're getting," you smiled despite the blood rushing to your cheeks.
"Come on, baby. Wear something nice for me?" he purred into your ear. 
You sighed in pure delight and felt lucky that he wasn't there to see that you were aroused already.
"What do you want me to wear?" you almost mewled, not caring about how lewd you sounded.
"Whatever you want, princess. You look good in anything," he muttered.
"I'll wear something cute," you responded, your voice high and almost sweet for him. "And I'll wear something underneath for you only, if you want."
"Fuck, I'm getting hard already," you heard him sigh.
Your eyes widened. "Really?" your voice rose an octave higher. "Why?" you asked innocently.
"Just thinking about you gets me hard," he groaned, but you could tell he was smiling by the sound of his voice.
"Joshua! You're in public! Don't say those things aloud," you chastised him, but couldn't ignore that hearing that made you instantly wet and your core flutter in excitement at his words.
"I just got to my car, princess. Calm down," he laughed faintly. "No one can hear me here. Or see."
"Well, in that case, I'm really, really wet for you right now," you muttered with a sigh as you sat on your bed and slowly lied down.
"Fuck, baby. I love hearing you say that," he purred in a raw tone.
"Yeah? What else do you love hearing me say?" you dared ask.
Maybe your newfound confidence was due to the fact that he wasn't present in your bedroom right now. Your heart was thumping hard against your chest, and your face felt hot at the daring words that were escaping your mouth.
But you didn't care, all your focus was on the voice in your ear.
"I love the way you say my name," he confessed almost sheepishly, as if he was almost admitting that to himself.
"Shua?" you asked, playing dumb. 
"No, no. That's not my name, baby," he muttered in a tone of false reprimand.
"Joshua," you smiled.
"Mmm yeah. I love hearing you say my name. Love it when that's all you can say while I fuck you silly," he admitted, his voice dangerously low.
"Mmm, yeah?" you echoed as your free hand sneaked beneath the band of your sweatpants, burying itself beneath your soaked panties.
You let out a mewling sound when your fingers found your already pooling core.
"Are you touching yourself, princess?" he asked after he heard you sigh in pleasure.
"Yeah," you admitted. Your wet fingertips had already started rubbing circles around your swelling clit. "Wanna come and see for yourself?"
"Fuuuck," you heard him sigh heavily. "I'm a bit far away right now. But I'd love to be there, princess."
"Can y-you talk to me?" you asked with a tiny voice then bit your lip to avoid moaning louder, feeling your legs starting to tense up.
"Are you touching yourself with your fingers?" he asked and you said yes. "God. I'd love to see that one day."
"Yeah? Why?" you asked with a frown.
"I think it's really fucking hot. I want to see you play with your toys until you're spent," he sighed and you imagined him smiling. "I want to hear you say my name while you do it, too."
"You think that I think of you when I touch myself?" you dared ask again as your fingers gently swirled around your sensitive bud.
"You don't?" he bit back.
"Yeah, I do," you admitted despite yourself. "How did you know?"
"Just a small hunch," he sighed, is he smiling?
"I always think of you when I come. I imagine it's you that's making me come," you blurted.
"I'm right next door," he groaned. "You know you can just tell me and I'll be there."
"But what if it's super late?" you pried.
"I don't care,"  he confessed with a low groan.
"Are you touching yourself too?" you asked with a high pitch whine.
"I can't. Not unless I want to be charged for public indecency," he muttered and you could tell he was smiling.
"Are y-you hard?" you asked as your fingers pinched your swollen and slick covered clit.
"Yeah, baby. I am," he sighed. "You've been ignoring me a little this week," he laughed.
Your heart clenched and a moan escaped your lips as your fingers toyed with your clit. "Y-you're not seeing other people, then?"
"You're asking me right now if I'm fucking other girls?" he muttered with a groan that didn't denote his arousal anymore. "Why would I want to do that?"
"I dunno, I figured-"
"You're the only one I'm fucking. I haven't been with anyone else since you," he muttered reproachfully. "We've talked about this before—does this get you off, baby? Do you like to hear that you're the only girl I want?"
"Yeah," you admitted, shutting your eyes close as your body responded with a wave of heat at the sound of his words, you groaned and twitched in your bed a little.
"Is my pretty girl possessive? Is that it?" he muttered again, and in your inner eye you saw him grinning like an idiot.
"Yes, I am," you gasped as your fingers pressed on your clit and massaged it in the only way you knew would get you closer to your sweet release.
"Oh, you greedy, greedy little thing," he tutted. "Are you close, baby? By the way you're breathing I can only assume that-"
"Yes, 'm close, Joshua," you whimpered, your fingers working faster on your clit.
"I wish I could see that right now," he replied. "You don't know how much I've needed you this week."
"Fuck," your legs twitched and a moan coiled in your throat.
"I'd have you every day of the week if you let me, baby," he let out a stressed sigh. "Don't think I would rather have someone else before you."
"Joshua-," you muttered in a broken moan, trying to bite your lip as you came on your fingers, gasping and whining as the wave of pure bliss washed over you, making your jaw go slack and let out his name in low whimpers.
"I know, baby," he muttered as he heard your moans: "I know."
Your body went limp after a long minute and you slowly came back to your senses.
"God, that was embarrassing," you sighed to yourself, moving your hand out of your pants.
He giggled. "Why?"
"I—never mind," you rolled your eyes. "See you in a bit?"
"See you in a bit, bunny," was the last thing he said before you hung up.
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The cold shower you had afterwards served two purposes: a cold slap back to reality and a reflection on your crazy toxic behavior.
Joshua was not your boyfriend. So what if he were fucking other people? Even if he were, you didn't have a say in it. You were just fuckbuddies.
You decided to wear something you thought never would, something you bought on a whim. A little black dress that hugged your body in a flattering way and accentuated your beautiful body, it showed some cleavage, but you felt confident enough to wear it now.
You waited in your living room for Joshua, tapping your fingers impatiently and checking your phone every now and then until you heard him knock, and you ran to get your door.
Joshua pushed through the door, grabbing you instantly by the waist and pushing you to the nearest surface where he could sit you down. The table felt cold against your ass when he set you down harshly, making the skirt of your dress fly up as he slotted himself between your legs.
"I'd take you right here on this table if we didn't have to be somewhere else right now," he said in a low tone, grabbing your chin with his fingers.
"Please do," you urged as his lips locked on yours chastely. "Fuck me, please Joshua, please."
"I think it's your turn to wait now," he muttered with a grin.
"But I need it, please," you whined, wrapping your legs around him.
"Touching yourself an hour ago wasn't enough, baby?" he lifted your chin to angle your head for him to press his lips to your own.
"No. You know it wasn't," you mewled. "I want you to fuck me. Right now," you moaned with a sigh.
Your fingers hooked on the hem of his black jeans and pulled him toward you, sliding his zipper down and undoing the button in one move.
"Fuck baby," he muttered in awe at your wild behaviour as your hand slid beneath his jeans to find him already hard beneath his underwear.
"I need you," you whined, ignoring the awe-struck look on his face.
He grabbed both your wrists and pulled them out of his pants, firmly clasping them together, his hand was large enough to secure them together in his fist as the other hand grabbed you by the jaw gently.
"You have some nerve after ignoring me all week," he muttered darkly. "Now you'll have to wait baby until I say so. Can you do that, sweetheart?"
You looked at his lust-lidded eyes bore into you and his smile slowly appeared on his face as you nodded.
"I can wait," you replied with an innocent tone.
"That's my girl," he cooed and sighed into your lips as he captured them with his own, giving you a heated kiss.
You broke the kiss abruptly and brought up a finger to caress his lower lip that was covered now with your saliva.
"You can fuck me raw now, Joshua," you whispered with a soft smile, almost kicking your feet in the air as you still sat on your table.
The audacity that possessed you to say that was totally new to you, it showed up in your crazy outbursts of assertiveness every time you were near him. Maybe you felt confident enough to be like that with him.
He shuddered slightly, but it was enough for you to see. "We're never getting there if you keep going, princess," he pressed his forehead against yours.
"So you're going to?" you asked, your voice dropped to a whisper.
"If that's what you want, baby," he muttered.
He was already breathing hard, his hands had dropped on your bare thighs, where he had started to knead on your skin anxiously.
"I want to," you replied instantly. "I need you to."
"You're killing me right now," he laughed softly before fixing his pants. "We need to go now, or we'll be regrettably late."
"Fine," you sighed. "Let's go."
He grabbed your head with his hands before crashing his lips with yours briefly but heatedly.
"Let's go," he muttered.
The ride there was longer than you expected. Joshua told you beforehand that his bandmates were already at the location where the event was going to be held.
And as he drove there, he started to get more and more jittery: anxiously licking his lips and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
"Are you okay, Shua?" you asked. "You're quiet."
He sent a look your way, but focused on the road ahead. "I'm okay. Just a bit nervous."
You gave him a reassuring smile, although he didn't get the chance to see it. "It's going to be fine. You'll see," you tried to comfort him by placing a hand flatly on his thigh.
He gently grabbed your hand and took it to his lips, pressing them on your knuckles. "Thank you, bunny. That's why I'm bringing you with me tonight."
Your heart fluttered a little. "Yeah? Why is that?"
"You give me good luck," he smirked.
You snorted, trying to play it cool. "You're so corny," you muttered.
He flashed you a downturned smile, briefly looking your way. "Shut up, I'm trying to flirt with you."
"Why? You're driving, there's not much we can do," you laughed, but then your laugh fainted. "Unless you want me to do something for you."
He blinked slowly as he let out a soft laugh. "Are you suggesting to blow me, baby?" he asked incredulously, glancing your way.
You shrugged. "Mmm, yeah. I thought that's where this conversation was headed."
"God, you are terrible at flirting," he said with a low chuckle, but you couldn't ignore how he leaned his head back and shifted on the seat a bit.
"Yeah, shocking," you smiled.
Joshua frowned, but didn't press any further. "I'd accept your proposition," he smiled slightly. "But we're arriving in about two minutes."
"I feel like there's a joke to be made here," you muttered with a smile.
His jaw dropped slightly. "Oh, no. Don't," he laughed.
"I just need one minute," you burst out laughing by the end of the joke.
He rolled his eyes briefly, but his smile was the biggest you've seen. "You have the humor of a child," he said while shaking his head.
You collected yourself, feigning to brush a tear from the corner of your eye.
"Are you done?" he asked, looking torn between amused and disappointed by your bad joke.
"Come on, laugh a little," you pushed his shoulder slightly.
Your joke wasn't even remotely funny, you knew that, but Joshua was still smiling when he parked in a large parking lot There were a lot of cars around and people gathering and walking in groups towards the entrance of a park.
"Where are we?" you asked as you unclasped your seatbelt.
Joshua appeared to be in a hurry, probably reverting back to his state of anxiousness after being distracted successfully by you. "Come on, bunny."
He jumped out of his large jeep and went around it to get your door.
"Oh, what a gentleman. Thanks," you smiled as he offered you a hand to climb down.
"Here," he muttered as his hands clasped on what appeared to be an access pass, which he put around your neck.
"Oh? Thank you, Joshua," you grabbed the tag to read that it was an all access pass.
"Don't mention it," you looked up to see a light smile on his face. "Follow me."
He led you to the side entrance which was fenced off, a sign at the entrance reading "AUTHORIZED ONLY" and you practically followed him through the maze of sound and lighting equipment carefully arranged on the floor.
There was a lot to be on the lookout for as you tried to keep up with him. There were rows of cables taped or secured to the ground that you almost tripped over.
Joshua seemed to notice your struggle and reached out to grab your hand firmly. "Careful, princess," he showed you a downturned smile, jittery eyes glancing down to his large hand grabbing yours. "Is this okay?"
You felt your heartbeat on your throat as you could only muster up a nod. "Yeah," you breathed, holding onto his hand.
The place he was walking through and to which he was practically dragging you with him was a large tent with long tables, people gathered around, chatting and drinking.
The smell of weed and tobacco permeated the air, laughter and the hum of the crowd with that of the music in the distance filled your ears.
"There you are, Shuji—oh, I see why you're late," Jihoon politely nodded your way and waved.
"Hi," you waved back shyly.
Joshua released your hand gently, smoothly using it to fix his dark hair with a labored sigh. "I thought I was on time," he frowned. "Isn't our go in an hour?"
"Yes, but we were asked for our instruments for soundcheck half an hour ago," the drummer shook his head nervously.
"And?" Joshua smiled playfully. "Did you need me to do that?"
"No, I don't need you, I'm just—forget it. In thirty minutes we go backstage for them to mic us up," he informed, just as jittery as you saw Joshua some minutes ago.
"Got it. Thanks Jihoon," he nodded and then turned to you. "You get drinks and food with your pass. I have to stay here, but you're free if you want to explore the festival," he tugged at the access pass hanging on your neck.
"Right, okay," you pressed your lips into a smile.
"We can meet back here once our gig is over," he offered. "Or I can join you where you are."
You looked up at his doe eyes. "You're going to do great, Joshua," you smiled reassuringly.
God, you wanted to kiss him so bad. In front of everyone, you didn't care who saw. But you also felt pathetic, anxiously eyeing his plump lips then back at his curious eyes.
He read you well. With a soft smile, his hand slid in the nape of your neck to hold you in place as he dipped his head to kiss you sweetly, one peck, then another. A sigh falling on your parted lips as he tenderly slid his lips in between your own.
"I'll be in the crowd," you promised with the faintest voice.
"I'll look for you," he smiled slightly at you, meeting your gaze with such fondness that you almost forgot where you were.
"I better be there then," you smirked at him, trying to contain your eagerness.
"Look at you being flirty with me," his smile grew and you almost died inside when his eyes turned into two crescent moons from how happy he looked.
"I–that wasn't flirting," you stuttered. "I'd better get going so you can get ready," you pulled away awkwardly.
Your heart sank as the smile on his face slowly faded.
Joshua looked at you the way he always did when he figured you out, but just nodded with his head, if he had anything else to say, he kept it to himself.
"See you in a bit?" he asked with a playful smile.
"See you in a bit, Shua," you smiled back and turned around and followed your way back through the crowds of artists and crew men and women and into the actual music festival.
The sun had already dipped, the chill of the air in the beautiful park surrounded by tall trees seemed to be setting in despite the huge crowds of people amassing around the stages, those which were three in total.
In your little exploration around the merch and food stalls, you found out that Midnight Haze were presenting on the main stage, two bands before the headliners. So that's why Joshua looked reasonably anxious: this was hugely important for a local band such as his.
You thought that this could prove an opportunity for them to be scouted for plenty more gigs. And you hoped that would be the case. You honestly wished for his band to have more recognition, they deserved it.
You explored all the food stalls, not feeling really hungry but yet indulging in what appealed to you the most. Everything was free for you, having an all access pass circling your neck, but you didn't feel the need to overuse it.
Except for strawberry mojitos, you were sipping on the third one by the time you circled back toward the big stage, showing your pass to security and they pointed you to the VIP section, directly in front of the stage where Joshua's mic stand stood.
Behind the mic stand the stage crew rolled a platform with Jihoon's bright red drum set, surrounded by a number of large cymbals. The crew expertly made a brief soundcheck and left. Your stomach tightened in excitement for the members of Midnight Haze, not just Joshua.
It seemed they had a plan, Jihoon stepped on the stage first, walking to the platform the crew had set with his large drum set. He sat on the stool and shifted a bit, finding his preferred way of sitting.
You spotted Vernon's bass guitar carefully placed on a guitar stand. It was white and had stickers all over it, some of them had washed over around the pickup area. When he picked it up and threw the red strap around his shoulder he also seemed to shift and get ready.
The crowd pushed you softly around as the people around you moved to get closer to the fences. Even if you stood in the VIP section, it was completely packed, the murmur of the crowd rose, some people whistled loudly impatiently.
When Joshua stepped under the stage lights, the crowd went completely insane. The large screens framing the stage showed the full stage, now complete with the lead singer as he grabbed a white guitar, lifting the strap to place it on one of his shoulders.
Joshua turned around and you saw him nodding his head at Jihoon, who returned the gesture at him to then raise his arms in the air to clash his drumsticks three times before starting off with a loud bang.
The booming sound of the towers of speakers filled your body, vibrating in your insides and making your bones feel the energy that instantly ignited the crowd, including you.
Midnight Haze started their set with one of their songs you liked the most. And you were pleased to see that Joshua smiled as he sang to the lyrics of the song.
The electrifying presence of the lead singer was so mind boggling to you, for a second it didn't seem like you were seeing your next door neighbor singing and playing his guitar as he danced side to side, banging his head slightly to the beat.
People screamed and applauded as the first song came to its end and Joshua bowed his head politely. Then he paused to remove one of his in-ear pieces to listen to the cheering of the crowd properly. He approached the stand, wrapping one hand around the mic.
"How's it going Rock Fest?" his voice boomed with excitement, a small chuckle came out of his plump lips when the crowd responded with wordless screams.
"We're Midnight Haze and we're really excited to be here," Joshua spoke into the mic, his starry eyes lost in the sea of faces, marveling at the sight of how extensive the crowd was.
"I want to see you all singing and dancing. Come on!" he screamed energetically just as the music swept in again.  
You cheerily sung along all of the songs in their set list, swaying your body mindlessly from side to side, looking over at the stage where Joshua also sang and played his guitar.
He looked devastatingly beautiful. His big eyes closed briefly, his brow furrowing slightly in focus, the vein in his neck popping up as he sang his lungs out.
The stage lights bathed his face with red and pink lights as the music wrapped him in a moment for his guitar solo, he looked hypnotic to you, almost heavenly.
You were so attracted to him you felt like a moth flying straight into the flame. You simply couldn't contain your urge to grab your phone and snap a photo of the moment.
God, you're screwed for life, you realized as you watched him.
Their setlist was about to come to a wrap after another one of your favorite songs ended on a strenuous note and Joshua's eyes went through the sea of faces. The stage lights danced around and pointed at the crowd at the same time his eyes zeroed on you, his brow relaxed and he smiled slightly.
"We've come to our last song," he spoke into the mic, his smile broadening when the crowd responded in wordless discontent. "We thank you for being here and for being such an amazing crowd," he paused, seemingly enjoying the roar of the sea of people in front of him. "We were Midnight Haze. Thank you, Rock Fest!!"
They started playing what their last song was, which was a song that you didn't know yet and apparently was a new song, since no one around you seemed to sing along with Joshua, who kept his big smile throughout as he sang and danced around the stage with his guitar.
He looked at you once as he strolled with his guitar directly in front of you. The people standing behind you screamed in your ears and you smiled at the sheer commotion he caused just by stopping by.
You twiddled your fingers at him, which he caught immediately and nodded his head at you, smiling tiredly with his tongue dangling between his chapped lips.
"He's so fucking hot oh my god," someone said with a raw voice from screaming, you turned and you saw two girls holding each other in excitement from the brief exchange.
It was amusing to think that you weren't the only one subdued by the beauty of the lead singer. It was also somewhat amusing that you were exhilarated at the fact that he singled you out from the crowd, but obviously no one around you knew that.
Joshua returned to the mic to sing the last verse, to then thank the other two members of Midnight Haze and say goodbye, promptly leaving the stage as the crowd screamed and applauded for them.
You quickly made your way out of the VIP section and found the nearest entrance back to the tent where you last saw Joshua. There were still some people hanging out in the tent, though admittedly not as many stuck around, possibly enjoying the festival and the food.
When Joshua came back, he looked a mixture of euphoric, tired and happy. As he spotted you, he opened his arms in excitement and you threw yourself in his embrace, lifting you in the air as your lips met briefly in an affectionate kiss.
"You were amazing," you told him, looking at his face briefly before he returned you to the ground.
Then you slowly came to your senses and stepped back from him slightly.
"You think so?" he asked, unaware of your sudden change in behavior. "Cause that felt amazing! That was the largest crowd we've ever performed for."
Your heart swelled at seeing him so excited, he grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you and you laughed at the crazed energy he still had from the stage.
"Come with me," he grabbed you by your hand as he led you out of the tent and to an even larger tent that was more crowded than the one you just left and right behind the stage.
It looked somewhat like a private party, the people in there, the majority of them, looked already intoxicated. The atmosphere was one of fun and a bit of mischief, however, you couldn't help but think that the energy of the packed room wasn't exactly inviting. Despite being hand in hand with the lead singer of one of the bands that had just come off the stage.
Your innate shy behavior kicked in, and you partially hid yourself behind Joshua, lowering your gaze as people not only looked at him, but also noticed you.
Joshua finally found the rest of his bandmates, who were already drinking a beer and talking about the very fresh experience. Jihoon, naturally, was retelling everything that just happened to a couple of faces you've never met before.
"Ah, there you are, Josh," one of them said, which was a woman. "We were wondering about you."
"Sorry, I had to go collect her," he nodded towards you. He then introduced you to the couple of strangers by name. "They're Chaewon and Taewon, from Wilted Willows."
"Hi," you waved at them, pressing your lips into a shy smile. You briefly saw the last bits of their performance, which was very unlike Midnight Haze's.
Chaewon's dark eyes scanned you up and down, making the hairs on the back of your neck prickle.
"Is she your new girlfriend?" she asked bluntly, her eyes moving from your face to Joshua's face.
"Oof, this is going to get weird," Jihoon muttered beside you and sipped from his can of coke zero.
Joshua released your hand. "No," he responded flatly, clearly setting a boundary between him and Chaewon. Then you felt his arm sliding on your shoulders, pulling your body into a tight side hug. "Not yet, at least."
Your stomach dropped, your gaze met his and he immediately winked an eye at you, a thing for your eyes to see only.
"Mmph," the girl flipped her luscious blue hair aside. "When you get bored of that, you know where to find me."
It happened fast: Chaewon took a step forward, her lithe fingers reached out to Joshua's chin, and he instantly pulled back with a flinch, his arm pulling you closer to him as an act of instinctive protectiveness.
Looking deeply startled and just about when he seemed like he was going to tell her off, she left and her bandmate had no choice but to leave with her after the deeply alarming exchange.
Joshua released a labored sigh. "Seriously, Jihoon?" he dropped the arm from your shoulders.
"What, they came to me," he shrugged. "I didn't know she was going to pull all that."
"Who is she... is she your ex?" you asked, trying to appear fine and controlled.
"No. God, no," Joshua shook his head furiously. "She's just really self-absorbed."
"She is also obsessed with Shua. Crazy stalker level of obsession," Jihoon explained briefly.
"Ah," you frowned.
The only reason why you thought she might've been Joshua's ex was because of how comfortable she was to attempt to put her hands on him.
Even if she were his ex, she overstepped by trying to touch him like that.
"Fucking hell," Jihoon muttered to himself, spotting something in between the groups of people. "Vernon's getting fucked up again."
Jihoon left abruptly, towards the direction of the bassist. Leaving you and Joshua alone. 
"I'm so sorry about that," Joshua's face had contorted into a frown. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," you smiled calmly despite yourself, trying to not let your anger show. "That was unsettling."
"Yeah, I agree. Really disturbing," he sighed again, running a hand through his dark hair.
"I'm sorry you have to deal with that, Joshua," you offered with a downturned smile.
"Don't be," he shook his head. "I'm more worried about you, she undermined you and I couldn't say anything about it."
"But I'm unaffected," you countered. "Her problem is not with me, that much is evident."
He flashed you a relaxed smile. "Sorry about the girlfriend stuff, I panicked."
A sudden painful feeling made you almost flinch. "Don't worry, Shua. I would've panicked a little too."
But you were thankful that he was being honest. He still looked agitated from the unfortunate exchange, but his shoulders went slack when you reached out to grab his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Hey, don't let that ruin your night," you told him encouragingly.
"Yeah, no, I'm fine," he frowned.
"You want me to fuck her up?" you asked bluntly.
His doe eyes widened. "What?!" then he understood you were joking and laughed hard, almost bending over with laughter. "Where did that come from?"
You broke your act and smiled at him. "I wanted to make you laugh. It worked," you shrugged.
"You fighting... now that would be fun to see," he admitted with a smile. "Fun and weird. Can't imagine you doing that."
"Well, don't try me," you quipped.
He chuckled again, brushing a tear from his eye.
A bunch of people stopped by to say hi to him and you stood idly by, watching Joshua expertly navigate through small talks, compliments and questions. And though you mostly didn't get attention within these exchanges, you were happy to be there, experiencing him.
"You are famous," you pointed, impressed by the amount of people that came to say hello and even take pictures with him.
"I'm not famous, bunny. This is kind of a network, everyone here knows everyone," he explained, but the tip of his ears were red.
"Right," you scoffed. "I don't see a lot of people asking others for their photo."
He rolled his eyes. "Shut up, it makes me feel weird."
"Are you blushing?" you gasped dramatically. "The Joshua Hong is blushing?!"
He arched his pierced eyebrow at you. "Don't make fun of me," he muttered shyly but you just couldn't help but laugh at how cute he looked when flustered. 
"Aw, baby boy is shy?" you pouted at him.
He blinked slowly, biting his lower lip to attempt and stop his smile. "This is the last time I bring you to something like this."
You simply continued. "Can I get your photo, Shua? Joshie, can I get your autograph?" you laughed as his smile grew, rolling his eyes at you again.
Joshua nodded at you once, letting out a breath through a smirk. "Having fun?"
A shiver ran down your spine. "A bit, if I'm honest," you admitted, but were actually more excited about his sudden change in attitude.
"Alright, princess. Let's have fun," he muttered, clasping his hand around yours to drag you once again through the crowd of people and outside the tent.
"Joshua!" you squealed, your smile had since vanished from your face as you looked around to see that he was dragging you towards a line of parked bus trailers.
You assumed that there was no one around since Joshua confidently shoved your back against the side of a bus trailer, making you gasp at the sheer force he used with you.
His eyes widened in disbelief when you smiled at him deviously. "You wanted this," he realized. "Do you enjoy this, baby?"
"I do," you nodded, breathing hard in anticipation already as Joshua closed in on you.
His fingers grazed your chin. "You want me to toss you around, pretty?" he asked, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.
A shudder ran through your body. "Yeah," you sighed. "I want you to do whatever you want to me, Joshua."
Joshua looked at you in pure fascination, he even let out a soft sigh that brushed your face slightly.
"You..." he breathed but stopped, seemingly at a loss of words.
His head dipped and you closed your eyes, blindly grabbing his head with your hands as he kissed you hard on your lips. 
"I want you, Joshua," you whimpered into his hot mouth, the words felt urgent as you uttered them. "Now."
"What if someone sees?" he incited, his voice low and raspy.
"I don't care," you confessed, the statement shaking deep in your bones.
The fleeting confidence in you stirred something in your brain, telling you to act quick.
It was your turn to push him against the bus trailer behind him. He gasped in surprise as his back hit the metal wall, his eyebrow raising a bit.
You clasped your lips with his, earning a low groan from him that reverberated in his chest and against your hands that were sliding down to the belt of his pants.
"What are you doing?" he asked, his hands stopping you.
You faltered instantly. "I-I want to suck you off," your eyes read his face. "Can I?"
His hand released one of yours to cup your chin. "Why?"
You frowned. "Why, what do you mean, why?"
He nodded briefly. "Tell me you're not doing this because you feel bad for what happened earlier in the tent."
"I want to pleasure you," you explained, then you quickly relaxed, understanding the situation. "Don't think I'm doing this for any other reason than just for you."
His eyes scanned your face, his other hand released you to graze your cheek with his knuckles, the features of his face relaxing. "What's our safeword, bunny?"
You blinked slowly, showing him a smile before giving him your safeword.
"Fuck," he let out a puffy breath as your fingers resumed undoing his belt, to then get the button of his black jeans.
"You're so hard already," you cooed softly, and eyed him as your hand felt him over his underwear.
Joshua was biting his lower lip, looking strained already. "All for you, sweetheart."
You smiled at him sweetly. "Such a sweet talker," you tilted your head as you rubbed his hard cock through his underwear.
You stuck your hand through the slit of his boxers, grabbing his hard cock firmly and effectively pulling it free from the stretchy and wet fabric of his underwear. 
"You're being so naughty, princess," he chuckled at you faintly but he faltered completely as you lowered yourself to your knees before him.
The ground was hard against the soft skin of your knees, the thin layer of your stockings was not enough to protect them. But you knew you wanted to see the bruises by the following morning.
"Fuck," he muttered again, shuddering visibly when you kissed the tip of his cock, to then press your tongue on the slit to lick his precum as you locked eyes with him.
One large hand cupped your cheek, his eyes trained on you as your tongue gave a few strokes to his shaft, feeling the vein that marked in the underside, tracing a long line with your tongue until you wrapped your mouth around his cockhead.
You heard a low guttural groan leave him when you took him deeper in your mouth than you could before, your tongue lapping on the length of him as you moved your head back and forth. 
Darting a look at him, Joshua leaned his head back on the wall behind him, eyes closed and swallowing hard as you bobbed your head back and forth on his throbbing cock, swirling your tongue around his cockhead.
"God. Your mouth feels so, so fucking good, baby," he moaned faintly, his hands grabbing a handful of your hair.
The back of your mouth had started to hurt already from the intrusion each time you tried to take his cock deeper in your mouth. But you didn't care, all focus was in getting more sounds of approval from him. Sounds that were also making you aroused. 
Drool had started to drip down from the corners of your lips and onto your chin, wet sounds coming every time you pulled your head back, hollowing your cheeks to suck hard on his cock just as if it were a lolly.
"Fuck," he exhaled. "You don't know how much I needed you, baby."
A moan coiled in your throat, your walls throbbing desperately at the sound of his words. Your chest swelled proud when you felt his fingers tense up on your hair and you heard him moan faintly, cussing and muttering incoherently about your mouth and how good it felt.
"Fuck, fuck—I think someone's coming," he whispered but didn't make an attempt of stopping you, so you didn't.
Voices echoed in the distance, but you couldn't make out if someone actually saw you and Joshua. There was no actual acknowledgement towards what you were doing, but you felt euphoric all the same.
Being on your knees for him, sucking him off for anyone to see made you moan on his cock. You sneaked a look at Joshua's eyes, that were trained on you while your head bobbed back and forth, committed to the act of pleasuring him.
"Someone just saw you giving me head," his voice sounded raw. "You like this, don't you? Like taking my cock in your mouth for anyone to see."
You moaned a sound of confirmation, making the smile on his face grow just a little. He let out a weak sigh, the tension in his beautiful features showing that he was close.
"I'm close," he sighed and threw his head back a bit. His hand tightened on your hair slightly when you sucked him harder. "Fuck, baby. D'you want me to cum in your pretty mouth?" his thumb brushed your cheekbone gently, as if calling for your attention back to him.
You blinked at him, moaning the same sound again.
"Can I move, princess? You think you're ready for that?" he asked, his face and voice both strained.
You nodded with your head as you pulled your mouth back to suck on his cockhead, blinking an adoring look up at him.
"Tap my thigh if you need me to stop," he grabbed your head firmly and started thrusting his cock on your mouth.
Sloppily at first, almost as if he wanted you to adjust your mouth to his pace as he started to push his cock down your throat faster. You lifted your eyes to see his face deep in focus, probably containing himself to avoid hurting you by accident.
The feeling was so deeply arousing that you were tempted to sneak a hand between your legs and start touching yourself. But you were rendered immobile, not by his hands precisely, but by the sight of him fucking your mouth.
"Fuck, baby—I'm cumming. You're gonna take it all, right baby? Gonna swallow it all?" he groaned, revelling at the sight of you taking his cock, your eyes brimming with tears, your chin dripping with your own drool.
You were gagging loudly on his cock, but managed to get the slightest of nods.
"Yeah, you are," he cooed faintly when he saw the way you responded to his words.
Then he threw his head back, his face contorted in pure pleasure and you almost swore you could come from the sight alone. 
"God, fuck," his voice was a mere whisper as his cockhead bumped on the back of your mouth, his cum spurting down your throat and you instantly swallowed it.
Joshua groaned through clenched teeth as you swallowed the last drops of his cum, he screwed his eyes shut, exhaling elatedly at the same time that his hands gently released your hair.
"That was insane," he muttered slowly, appearing to come to his senses.
Gently, he pulled out of your mouth, a string of saliva falling out of your mouth and landed on your chin. He fixed his pants quickly before grabbing your hands that were previously resting on his thighs.
Joshua helped you stand up and immediately wrapped you in a tight embrace. Bringing a hand up to clean your face from your drool and tears.
"You did so good, bunny," he muttered in your lips after kissing you chastely. "So fucking good."
"'m glad you liked it," you smiled in his lips.
"Let's take you home, princess. I want to make you feel good too," he gave you small pecks on your lips. "Is that okay?"
"Can't you take me here? Right now?" you whined jokingly.
"No, baby," he whispered into your lips. "As much as I'm dying to do that right now, I don't want to risk anyone seeing you."
"But you didn't have an issue with it five minutes ago," you quipped.
"Yeah, but that was different. You were fully clothed and the person who saw us didn't see our faces," he pointed. 
"So the problem is that you don't want anyone to see me naked?" you pulled back to meet his gaze. "In that case I can keep my dress on." 
The conversation had shifted between you, and you could tell that he was no longer trying to keep you aroused—he didn't even look like he just got blown. You didn't know what it was, but it troubled him.
Joshua looked up at the night sky, seemingly looking frustrated for a second as he looked for words to say.
"What if I'm a little possessive too?" he asked, meeting your eyes.
You physically recoiled in his arms in a mixture of excitement and uneasiness. "W-what?" you blurted in disbelief.
"What if I don't want anyone seeing what I have with you?" his eyes searched your face. "Even if you kept your dress on, I don't want anyone seeing how good you are for me."
Your heart dropped, pain sinking into your chest. This was totally not what you expected to hear from him. Even if his possessiveness was entirely revolving around a sexual aspect, you weren't ready to hear it.
"Joshua-," you started.
"I know I said that I'd fuck you anywhere but I just can't give you that right now," he smiled, seemingly ashamed of his words.
"No, it's alright," you frowned. "It's just really confusing hearing you say this."
"What, you don't think I'm capable of feeling a little jealous too?" he asked. "You don't like the idea of me seeing other girls, I don't like the idea of someone seeing you."
Was this something you needed to talk in more depth with him? Totally, yes. Were you going to ask him to do so? No, probably not ever.
"Fair," you muttered, mustering a smile to him before capturing his lips with your own. "Take me home, then."
Joshua took your hand again, making your tummy flutter with nervousness that only intensified when he led you back to the tent.
As you both pushed through Joshua's friends and unknown faces, you swore that everyone looked at you differently; not in a bad or good way precisely, just different. As though everyone knew why you and Joshua disappeared, and judging by the fact that someone saw you, they probably did already.
Joshua kept you close, almost as though wanting to make his point across—he felt possessive of you. And you didn't want to know to which extent he felt like this over you. 
But you knew one thing, whatever it was that made him look this deeply troubled, paired with your unspoken feelings for him was starting to taint your already messy relationship of fuckbuddies.
Joshua drove faster this time around, keeping a hand on the wheel and the other placed flatly on your thigh.
"Did you enjoy the festival?" he asked, his thumb had started to draw invisible circles on your thigh.
"I did," you smiled. "Drank mojitos and ate corn dogs," you told him, looking at his large hand. You resisted the urge to grab it and lace your fingers with his.
"Mojitos?"
"Strawberry mojitos," you added. "I took some photos too, of you, on stage."
"You did? Will you show me?" he eyed you excitedly.
"Of course," you smiled at him.
"So you got a good spot to see me?"
"Yeah I got to see you throughout the whole set," you saw him smile faintly.
"I saw you singing along," he seemed to remember suddenly. "You've been listening to our music."
"Yeah," you admitted. "Almost everyday. Does that make me your groupie?"
He chuckled. "I'm convinced that you don't know what a groupie is, bunny."
"Shuddup," you smiled.
"Hey, but it's not fair—you can listen to my music but I haven't read your book," he frowned.
"I'll lend you the hardcopy of my manuscript," you promised.
"I actually looked for you, do you use a pen name?"
Your heart sank. He took the time to search your books using your real name?
You told him your pseudonym and he repeated each name silently and nodded. 
"Yeah, I might've confused the lady at the local library," he laughed.
"You went to the library looking for my books using my real name," he nodded and you laughed. "You should've asked me first."
"You never answer my texts on time," he reproached. "Well but I wanted it to be a secret, actually."
"Why?" you frowned.
"I wanted to impress you," he shrugged.
"You don't have to, Joshua," you told him sincerely.
"But I want to," he pouted cutely. "And now that I know you've been listening to my music, I feel like I have to catch up with you."
"I like your music. I'm not sure if you're going to like my books," you warned him.
"Let me decide that," he smiled at you.
Joshua parked his car expertly with one hand, his other hand still resting on your thigh. He had stopped rubbing circles through the thin fabric of your stockings, but your skin felt hot at his touch nonetheless.
Your fingers fidgeted nervously with the hem of the skirt of your little black dress as you stepped on the elevator, Joshua stood closely behind you.
"Are you nervous?" he asked in your ear, leaning closer to you.
"A bit," you breathed, turning on your feet to see his face.
"Why?" he slowly smirked. "We've done this before."
You were lucky that no one else was in that elevator, but you still waited until you got to your apartment to continue that conversation.
Joshua gently pushed you against the wall as soon as he closed your apartment door.
"Mm? Why are you nervous, bunny?" he asked in a soft tone.
"I've never been fucked raw," you confessed, fighting the blush that crept immediately on your face.
His eyes searched your face briefly. "We don't have to do that tonight, we can use protection."
"No, don't get me wrong—I want to... do it raw," you breathed, your hands fidgeting with the collar of his meshy black shirt. "I'm just..."
You bit your tongue. You felt excited to try new things with Joshua, and what really got you feeling that way was that you were trying these things with someone you were actually falling in love with.
"What?" he egged you on, his curious eyes still trying to read your face.
You licked your lips anxiously and shook your head, reluctant to continue.
"We can take it slow, if that's what you want," he offered.
"No, do-don't hold back," you stuttered. "I want everything."
"I got you. Don't worry," he muttered before placing two fingers to grab your chin and leaned to kiss you.
You melted into his lips, feeling every nerve in your body respond at his touch when he slid his other hand on your waist, giving it a soft squeeze.
"I almost forgot to tell you," he breathed after pulling back from your lips. "You looked beautiful tonight, baby."
"Did you like my dress?" you darted a look down to your little black dress.
"Thank you for wearing it tonight," he grazed your cheek. "I liked it very much." 
"It's a good thing I didn't wear the bunny pjs then," you smirked though your blushing face.
He laughed faintly. "Yeah, good thing," he echoed dazedly, leaning to kiss you again.
God, if you could only just ask him. Does he feel the same way too? When your mouths join, when you breathe against each other, moaning and gasping at the slightest of touches against each other's skin.
Your fingers started undoing the buttons of his shirt, your hands sneaking between the split of his shirt to feel his hard chest, the defined muscles of his pecs.
Joshua moaned into your lips, his hands sliding from your waist to find your hips. His hot mouth placed open mouthed kisses on your chin, groaning in approval when you tilted your head back for him to kiss on the underside of your jaw.
Your back was pressed against the wall as his hands searched for your thighs and expertly lifted you up from the floor. You let out a squeal in surprise, your arms instantly locking around his shoulders.
A laugh in sheer joy left your lips when he carried you to your room. "We could've walked here."
"Shh, let me do nice things for you," he muttered as he let you back to the floor of your room and you got to the lamp on your nightstand.
He grabbed you by your waist, pulling you to his body as he sat down on your bed, leveling down to see eye to eye with you. His large hand slid on the nape of your neck as his lips found yours, tenderly locking you into a kiss.
Joshua was still wearing his shirt on his shoulders, the split parting as your fingers caressed the defined lines of the muscles on his abdomen, and then he moaned on your mouth when you reached his lats, that being a sensitive area for him.
"How do I get you out of this?" he smiled sheepishly when his fingers searched on your back and then on your sides.
"It's a slip dress," you explained, smiling too.
Your fingers grabbed the shoulder straps, sliding them from your arms and the dress simply fell from your frame, leaving your body with the light pink lingerie set you chose for tonight.
"Do you like it?" you asked sheepishly when he seemed unable to look back at your eyes.
Joshua swallowed hard, tearing his doe eyes from the lacey fabric barely covering your body and found your expectant eyes. "Yeah, baby," he released a breath through a weak smile. "I love it."
Your hands went to grab the clasp of your pretty bra, but he raised a hand from your waist.
"No, not yet," he muttered. "I want to take it off myself. Is that okay?"
"Yeah. More than okay," you sighed, repurposing your hands to remove his meshy black shirt from his shoulders, caressing his beautiful skin in the process.
His large hands busied themselves exploring your bare skin too, what your thigh high stockings didn't cover, caressing your bare waist as he leaned to press wet kisses down your chest, to the swell of your breasts.
"So beautiful," he muttered, as if to himself.
"Joshua," you moaned with a sigh as his hands circled on your back and slid down to cup your ass with a low guttural groan from his part.
"Don't rush this," he muttered against your skin, then glanced up to meet your eyes.
"Okay," you breathed, your skin already prickled and covered in goosebumps.
He smiled, his fingers reaching up to graze your chin. "We have all night, you don't have to rush anything."
"Oh, so you're going to fuck me all night?" you quipped with a grin.
"If that's what you want," he replied with a small shrug.
"I do. But what do you want, Joshua?" you retorted.
His gaze darkened as it met yours, he seemed to struggle with his words for the second time in the night, something that did not go unnoticed by you, but you decided not to make a big deal of it at the time.
Joshua didn't reply to your question verbally, instead he stood from your bed, your eyes following him now that he regained his natural height, now his frame towered over you.
He pushed you to sit on the bed, wordlessly making you understand that the roles were reversed for now and you resumed to undress him. Undoing his belt and button from his black jeans, hooking your fingers to push his jeans down on his legs for him to step out of them, socks included.
It was your turn to swallow hard at the sight of him nearly naked. He was hard already, as you could see the bulge in his underwear, your hand instantly rubbing his hard cock through the stretchy fabric.
"Lie down, princess," he muttered, nodding to the bed.
You scooted back on your bed covers and lied down as Joshua climbed on top of your body.
"Are you okay?" you asked, your voice laced with a bit of concern.
"Yeah," he breathed, pressing a kiss on your lower lip. "Never better."
He grabbed your legs and you wrapped them around his body, pressing down on his hips to join them with yours, earning a soft moan from him.
"Joshua?" you breathed when his lips trailed from your mouth, pressing wet kisses down the crook of your neck.
"Mm?"
"Ca-can I be on top?" you asked.
"Do you want to ride me, baby? Is that what you're asking?" he asked with his sweet voice.
"Let me be on top," you muttered, lowering your legs from his body.
He laughed against your skin. "Okay," he sighed, rolling over so his back was fully against the bed and you followed his body promptly, straddling him.
You wasted no time, leaning your body to press your chest against his, burying your fingers in his black hair before capturing his lips with yours.
His hands caressed your back, the pads of his fingers tracing the line of your column and stopping only to unclasp your pretty bra, his hands removed it completely, you heard when it landed on the floor.
His breath hitched when you pressed your tits against his hard chest, moving your lips to kiss his chin, then under his jaw and  down the crook of his neck, essentially mimicking what he does when he's on top of you.
"Can I mark you?" you asked shyly, darting a look to his face.
A small groan fell from his lips as he nodded with his head. "Yeah," he whispered with a light smile.
You returned the smile as your head dipped on the crook of his neck, his hands kneading on your hips as you landed love bites on the crook of his neck, his throat and finally reaching his toned chest.
Joshua was sensitive. It made you feel so stupid to realize it this far into your countless sexual encounters. He so rarely let you touch him during sex or kiss him that you never knew just how sensitive he actually was.
His hands were going to leave marks on your skin, you were sure of it. Kneading on your ass and hips, fingers digging harshly on your skin as you took your time marking his chest, marveling at the sight of his toned pecs.
"Fuck," he breathed softly, his eyes were closed tightly, so he never saw you smile at his downright restless behaviour. You and him had that in common, at least.
You couldn't ignore how big and hard he felt under you, so you started grinding on him to maybe help him release the growing tension on his cock.
Then you wanted to try something—you ran your tongue on one of his sides, feeling his toned lats, tasting cologne in his skin.
"Mmn—fuck!" his body hardened, his fingers threatening to pierce your skin.
The tip of your tongue traced a circle around one of his nipples to then press your wet lips and repeated the same actions on his other side, earning similar reactions.
A groan bubbled in his chest and suddenly you were being flipped to your back, startled you looked at his dark eyes. Unable to say a word, his mouth was already clashing with yours, kissing you fervently.
"Are you going to tie me up tonight?" you asked shyly.
His pierced eyebrow arched slightly. "Do you think you deserve it, pretty? Have you been bad?"
"Mmm, maybe a little," you admitted.
"Mmm yeah, I remember that you were, baby. Do you like being bratty? Do you like being tied up?" his fingers hooked on the thin fabric of your thong, pulling his body back to slide the thong down your legs, leaving your stockings on.
"Yeah, I do," you breathed, your eyes trained on him as he pressed soft kisses on the softer side of your thighs.
"Then I won't tie you tonight, princess," he smiled deviously to then run the tip of his tongue on the sensitive side of your thigh, dangerously close to your core.
You let out a soft whimper, your body tensed up and your legs instinctively closed a bit, one of your legs bumped with the side of his head.
"Maybe I'll get restraints for your legs too," he quipped, laughing softly. "Would you like that, baby?"
You swallowed hard, closing your eyes when he continued placing loving and soft kisses on your mound. "Mm, I think so," you muttered clumsily.
He used his hands to splay your thighs open for him, dipping his head on your mound to place wet kisses on your soft skin, sighing in the process of kissing your pussy lips, groaning softly with you when he heard you moan and whine.
"Joshua," you called softly when his tongue swiped a line between your folds, humming in response at the taste of your arousal.
One of his hands slotted in your lower tummy, while the other one remained holding your thigh. His face was practically buried in your cunt, slowly licking every inch of it, dipping the tip of his tongue on your entrance to make you cry out and moan his name.
You held onto his hand that was on your tummy when his tongue swirled around your clit a few times. "Oh god," you whimpered
The bed underneath you groaned when you sank your body, completely subdued in pleasure. Your fingers clenching on his fingers, the other had found the soft strands of his black hair, pulling softly when he started flicking your swollen clit with the tip of his tongue.
"F-fuck—Joshua," you breathed, screwing your eyes shut, trying to remain still on your bed but couldn't help but writhe slightly when he switched from flicking your clit to sucking at it lightly.
You propped yourself with your elbows on your bed to see him practically making out with your cunt. The sight of it alone made you almost climax—his dark hair between your fingers, his hands holding you still for him as he lifted his eyes to find yours.
A moan coiled in your throat, your fingers tugged his hair as you felt your orgasm drawing near, and he seemed to know it from the sounds you were making, so he started sucking your swollen bud harder, moving his head up and down slightly.
"Joshua, 'm close," you breathed, your body trembling slightly. "Fuck! Don't stop, please. Joshua!"
You threw your head back, your jaw going slack too as raggedy breaths broke in your chest, twitching and groaning lewdly on your bed. You moaned loudly, your hand pressing on his head as your orgasm continued to wash over you, the waves of pure bliss left tingles on your limbs and face.
You eased your body back on your bed, your chest heaving embarrassingly hard, soft moans spilled from your lips when Joshua's mouth left your throbbing cunt after showering it with tender kisses.
"Feel good?" you heard him ask.
You opened your eyes to find him still between your thighs, smiling fondly at you.
"Amazing," you sighed weakly. "I love how you eat me out so much."
He laughed. "I love eating you out, princess."
"Oh, yeah?" you breathed.
Joshua climbed back on top of you. The dim light from your lamp let you see the pretty features of his face, you reached to wipe your arousal from his chin and he smiled as he pressed his chapped lips with your own.
"Yeah," he answered and you were reminded of how much you liked it when he said that.
He got on his knees to take his sweet time taking your stockings off, his hands caressing your legs in the process, his lust-lidded eyes locking with yours as he did so. 
Then he lied on his side, using his elbow on the bed to support him as his other hand slid between your legs, his pointer finger slid between your pussy lips, playing with your wetness as his eyes searched your face.
Your eyes shifted to the finger disappearing inside your cunt, pumping in and out a few times until you were ready for another finger.
"Joshua," you whimpered pathetically when his two fingers massaged your walls, but really what had you on the verge of insanity was his doe eyes trained on your face.
"Mm?" his eyebrows arched slightly. "What's wrong?"
"I want you so bad," you breathed, your hand cupping his cheek to pull him into a needy kiss, nibbling his lower lip with your teeth when his fingers scissored inside you.
"You think you're ready for me, sweetheart?" he muttered, his voice strained with tension.
You nodded a bit too eagerly.
"No, I don't think you're ready, baby," he replied, introducing a third finger inside you.
"Joshua," you whined, knowing that he liked hearing you beg. "Please. I waited all day. Please take me,"
He smiled, immediately telling on your little game. "Yeah, you waited all day for me princess, after ignoring me all week. Why should I give you what you want?"
"Because you want it too," you replied boldly. "I know you want me as much as I want you."
"Mmm, yeah baby, you're right. I want you but I wait for you," his doe eyes locked with yours. "Can you say you do the same for me, baby? You like having fun by pushing me away, so why shouldn't I have fun too?"
"You're being mean, Shua," you frowned. "I didn't push you away, just–"
"Careful, princess," he warned, the corner of his lips twitching. "I don't like when you lie to me. You know that."
You moaned then he pressed the palm of his hand on your sensitive clit while still pumping three fingers in and out of your wet walls.
When you gave him no response nor explanation, he smiled. "So you were pushing me away. Again, baby?"
You remained quiet and looked away from his darkened gaze.
"Why do you do that?" he pressed, his voice sounding soft, alluring.
You groaned and bit your lip as he continued to massage your walls with his fingers, his palm stimulating your clit slowly toward another orgasm.
"Joshua," you sighed, closing your eyes. "Joshua, I'm cumming."
"No, you're not," he muttered softly, pulling his fingers out of your cunt when your walls had started clenching harder.
You gasped in frustration. "Joshua!" you whined. "I was close."
He let out a breathy chuckle and pressed his lips against your cheek. "I know, baby."
"Then why..? Why did you stop?" you asked.
"You're cumming when I want you to," he replied shortly.
You sighed your frustration, not caring how childish you were being. "You're mean," you pouted.
He laughed softly when your fingers hooked on the band of his underwear and yanked it down, his hard cock slapping his lower abdomen as he lifted his hips for you to tear off the last piece of clothing he wore.  
"And you lied to me, again," he countered as he climbed back on top of your body, pressing loving kisses to your cheeks and chin, each kiss seemed to leave a trail of tingles on your skin.
"I'm s–"
"Sorry?" he muttered, kissing your jaw.
"Joshua, please," you moaned weakly. "I'll be good, just—fuck me. Do whatever you want. Punish me but please, fuck me."
His eyes glinted with awe, and you remembered that he liked it when you begged. "You'll let me do anything I want, sweetheart?"
"Yes," you breathed. "I'm yours."
Joshua cocked his head to the side ever so slightly. "Say that again," he whispered, giving you another soft kiss now on your lips. And another.
"I'm yours, Joshua."
He hummed in satisfaction. "You're mine," he repeated, savoring the statement with his sweet lips.
"Only yours," you echoed dazedly.
"Oh, you cruel thing," he said darkly. "You know what you're doing, don't you?"
No response came from you. If he wanted answers, that was the best you could give him right now. And for a moment, he appeared to know that too.
A shudder invaded your body when Joshua grabbed his cock on one hand, dragging his cockhead on your wet folds. A soft breath spilled from his lips when he felt you, skin on skin.
"Ready?" Joshua searched your eyes again.
You nodded. "Ready," you breathed.
A low whimper coiled in your throat when he slowly eased himself in. Your hand held onto his shoulder, your eyes brimmed with tears from the pain of how big he actually felt without the extra lubrication that the condoms provided.
But you also moaned at how insanely good he felt raw. It was so good to finally feel him, every naked inch of him inside your walls, that you swore you would climax from just having him like this. 
"Breathe, baby," he whispered, kissing your moans with such tenderness that you almost broke.
"Joshua," you whimpered, your fingers digging on his shoulder.
"It's okay. I know, baby," he frowned slightly. "Do you want to stop?"
"No, no. I'm fine. Please," you begged, although you didn't know what you were begging for.
He released another breath when he finally bottomed out, your walls throbbed desperately around his length and he pressed his forehead against yours.
His eyelids fluttered closed before pulling his hips back, the feeling of his cock sliding out your wet walls felt good—so good that you were already whimpering and trembling.
"Okay?" he gasped, starting to push in and out of you.
"Yes, more than okay, Joshua," you stuttered, closing your eyes with a sigh.
"You're crying, baby," he pointed, he was still moving achingly slow.
"It-it's big—you're so big," you stammered pathetically.
He paused. "Am I hurting you?" his voice was laced with concern.
"No, it's not bad, Joshua. I can take it," you breathed.
It actually wasn't that bad—as he pushed his cock in and out you could feel your walls easing and stretching around it, adjusting to his size.
Joshua looked tense, he let out a groan when his hips started moving faster on you, then he pulled his body back, making you cry out in pleasure when the position of his cock inside you shifted, pressing on your front walls.
He brought a hand on your lower abdomen, his thumb finding your clit to start rubbing on it.
"Better?" he asked. He was still weary, his big eyes searching your face as he pushed his cock in and out on you, rubbing your clit to ease you from the lingering threads of pain.
"Yeah. Feels so good, Joshua," you sighed, swallowing thickly at the drag of his cock inside your walls. "So, so good."
"Yeah, I know," he replied with a low groan. "You feel good too, sweetheart. Fuck, so good."
You whimpered at the sound of his words, the way he pronounced each one with a tight jaw, his brow furrowing as he pushed his cock inside your walls at a delicious pace.
"So warm and wet, so fucking good, baby," he sighed.
His thumb pressed on your clit, rubbing it and teasing it senselessly, making you moan and squirm. It was too much, your hands clenched on your bed covers when you sensed your orgasm drawing near again.
"Oh, god. Fuck," you whimpered, writhing against your bed as Joshua dragged his cock in and out your clenching walls.
"Fuck," he groaned, his hips buckled for a second. "You're close. Right, bunny?"
You shook your head on your pillows.
Then, his fingers landed a slap right on your clit, making you yelp loudly. Clearly telling on your weak lie.
"Yes! Yes, I'm close, Joshua," you cried out.
He smirked in response, his hands holding your hips a second before he started ramming his cock faster inside your cunt. Your eyes widened at him and bit your lip hard enough to draw blood.
"Fuck," he muttered again before pulling out of you, right as your walls started clenching deliciously near your release.
"Joshua!" you whined, breathing furiously at him.
"Remember what I said," he was breathing hard too, probably because he was resisting his own pleasure only to edge you.
He carefully lowered his hard and wet cock on top of your tummy, you stifled a moan at the sheer size of it and the weight of it too. The reddened tip, the soft marks of a vein along the wet shaft, you bit your lip.
"Shua, please," you pleaded with a desperate sigh.
"That's not my name, baby," he snapped with a dark look.
"Joshua, I'll be good, just-"
"Tell me why I should believe you," he muttered as he moved to slide within your walls again, your heart swelled with a little satisfaction when he groaned in pleasure too. 
"I'll show you," you said weakly.
"Not good enough, princess," he shook his head as he slapped your pussy again, right in your sensitive clit.
"God, fuck!" you yelped loudly. "I'm sorry, Joshua. I'm sorry for pushing you away."
You moaned helplessly when leaned down a bit and spit on your cunt, covering your clit with his saliva to start rubbing circles on your swollen and oversensitive bud.
"Why, do you like to have me at your beck and call? You enjoy to fuck me and toss me away like one of your toys?" he muttered darkly.
Suddenly you regretted telling him to punish you, because he only wanted the truth from you, unlike last time he punished you and you had to try not utter a word while he fucked you into the bed.
But you could see that he was struggling to hold back, swallowing hard, his brow furrowed.
"No! You're not my toy—you're... you're," you stammered. Were you about to confess? Like this?
Your orgasm was threatening close, so you squirmed on your bed, trying to create some distance from his fingers teasing your clit. Joshua understood what you were attempting to do and started caressing it lightly, thinking that he was over stimming you.
"You're close?" he asked, realizing when he heard you sigh a moan.
But he didn't wait for your answer. Joshua pulled out again, his cock landing with a soft slap on your lower tummy. A single drop of cum dripped from his tip, but he wasn't cumming yet, you knew that by the way he was breathing in deeply, trying to contain himself.
If he only wanted the truth, you were deep in trouble. Because you push him away to avoid your growing infatuation over him.
"Joshua?" you called abruptly.
"Mm?" he lifted his gaze to find yours.
"What's your favorite color?" you asked breathlessly.
"What, why?" he frowned.
"Tell me," you pressed.
"Pink," he responded, his brow not relaxing.
"Really? That's cute," you sighed, Joshua's hips retracted from your body and he positioned himself again on his knees, his cock aligned with your core.
"Yours?" he asked with an air of reluctance.
You told him your favorite color.
"Why did I know you'd say that," he replied with a small smile.
"Your birthday?" you asked, feeling utterly pathetic.
He chuckled breathily. "What, why're you asking me this right now?"
"Tell me," you insisted. "Please."
"December 30th," he responded, looking confused.
A loud moan reverberated across your room, so loud that you almost wanted to cover your mouth when his cock sank into your walls again. He thrusted slowly, but then he continued rubbing your clit with his two middle fingers.
"What's yours, princess?" he asked, appearing to be following whatever you were trying to do. 
You told him your birthday through broken gasps.
"Still, I don't get why you ask," he breathed tiredly.
"I want to get to know you better," you told him with a whine.
Joshua smiled sweetly at you and that might've done it for you.
Your walls clenched around him and he groaned loudly, slamming his hips against you, the sound of his skin slapping against you filled the silence that followed between you.
Something you weren't expecting happened:  Joshua seemed to have forgotten about edging you, closing his eyelids tightly, his mouth parting a little. You loved to see when his face scrunched up like that, when he was so close that the muscles around his mouth relaxed, but his frown would deepen sweetly. 
Joshua threw his head back a little, a moan muffled in his mouth, his throat bobbing a little as he seemed to be immersed in pure pleasure. He didn't relent his hard thrusts on you, pushing his cock in and out your sopping walls while rubbing your clit expertly.
"Fuck, I can't—Joshua," you gasped. "I'm close. Please, please. Let me cum?"
Joshua groaned before lowering his gaze back at you. "Where do you want me, baby?"
It took you two seconds to understand what he was implying.
"Inside," you breathed. "Please. Cum inside me."
He nodded before he started ramming his cock in your walls faster, moaning loudly through clenched teeth. You moaned with him and sank your head into your pillows, back arching as the tension in your body only grew more intense.
"Joshua, oh god—Joshua," you called, not knowing what else to say, feeling all sanity slipping out of your mind, coming undone under waves of pure bliss washing over you.
"Baby," he called to you. "Say it again."
You blinked weakly, his words bringing you back to reality.  
"I'm yours, Joshua," you breathed.
"You're mine," he replied with a raw tone. "I'm gonna make you mine, right baby? You want that? Want me to stuff your pretty pussy full of my cum?"
You moaned and nodded desperately, your walls squeezing him hard the moment you heard his words.
"Yes, oh god, yes please," you whimpered.
He cussed and moaned as he came inside you, pushing his hips against you sloppily.
"You're mine," he whispered, his eyes glazing over the sight of you cumming hard with him.
"Only yours, Joshua," you responded wildly.
He groaned, your name spilling from his plump lips, pushing his cum deep inside you with lazy thrusts and came to a stop with heavy breaths.
His head thrown back slightly, his eyelids fluttering shut, his mouth parted. He looked so unreal, ethereal even.
Oh god. What have you done?  
Joshua seemed to come down from his high when you shifted on your bed ever so slightly.
"What was all that?" he demanded in a tone that still denoted his confusion still. "The questions."
"I know nothing about you, Joshua," you explained shyly.
And yet, you told him you were his.
But he blinked slowly and started laughing, his cock was still buried inside your walls.
"Don't laugh at me," you pouted through your hurt ego, though he had no idea why you started quizzing him mid-coitus.
"You couldn't wait till we were done?" he asked and giggled again when you shook your head.
He leaned forward, placing his arms above your head on your pillows and pressed his chest against yours, his eyes looking at you fondly.
"What other questions do you have for me?" he asked.
"I-I have plenty," you admitted meekly.
"Is there a reason why you want to know now? Or can it wait?" he kept his eyes trained on you, you noticed, he was gathering every reaction you showed.
"It can wait," you nodded. "Why?"
"Because you asked me to fuck you all night and I'm in the middle of that," he booped your nose with one finger. "Can you keep your questions until I'm done?"
A sweet smile crept on his face when your core fluttered around him and you groaned in utter embarrassment.
"Is that a yes?" he laughed.
You groaned again and slapped his shoulder slightly.
"I'll get something to clean you up," he muttered with a smile still, pulling his hips from you.
He returned some minutes later with a hand towel, which he had soaked with warm water and he gently cleaned the cum that had already spilled from your entrance.
"I found it in the cupboard. I hope you don't mind," he darted a look at you briefly.
"It's fine," you assured him. "I need to go to the bathroom to take care of everything else."
"Do you want me to carry you there?" he asked, getting up from the bed.
"I'm fine," you sat up on your bed. "Can we shower later?" you asked meekly.
"Sure, baby," he sighed softly.
When you came back to your bedroom, you had half-expected to see him asleep from how tired he actually looked. But he was lying on your bed, one leg crossed over and absentmindedly looking at his phone screen, one arm tucked under his head.
God, he was a sight to see. Chest and throat covered in hickeys, his black hair ruffled slightly, the bedroom eyes when he noticed you walking in.
You climbed your bed and lied on your side next to him.
"You're okay?" he asked after he left his phone on the nightstand and turned on his side to look at you.
"Yeah," you sighed. "Never better."
His fingers cupped your chin softly and you leaned to lock his lips with your own in a tender, hot kiss. Joshua moaned softly in your mouth when you felt his tongue slid in your mouth to mingle with yours.
You gathered in your mind what little and fruitless information you got from your long day with Joshua. Maybe you got it wrong this whole time, and you don't need to know what his favorite color is, although you did want to learn his birthday.
You could no longer hide your infatuation over Joshua Hong. It was becoming painfully obvious, though you weren't sure to what extent he was aware of this. Or if he even cared, for that matter.
There was one more painful realization to all of this, one that you didn't expect and probably overlooked because you were worried so much about your infatuation with him that you didn't care to see him with clarity.
Joshua was lonely.
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✮ a/n: i'm sorry
i have nothing else to say.
not really, haha
i love joshua, i loved writing this
if you liked this chapter please show it some love? 🥺
and happy holidays!! ヾ(•w•`)o
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