#but oof those programs

[sunskate]

Having followed CPom for years, GPa aren't that much better if they're better at all. Anthony's increasingly injured ankle(which they really should have had taken care of ages ago) slowed them down and made Anthony regress and make more mistakes, but he was a huge generational talent since he was young, just watch them as juniors. Anthony is still recovering but even though you can see he's a bit rusty he's looked more solid than he has in absolute AGES. Three clean comps in a month, steady on the twizzles, and looks so much happier and more confident. Christina looks amazing, her dancing, expression, skating, all seriously improved. Their connection and performance quality has improved a lot, partially from coaching but also they're clearly happier and more confident. Even with a late start they looked great especially live, they have had six weeks since golden spin to improve and make changes. When GPa started they looked like a disaster and lost to the Taschlers, but cleaned up over the season. Do I think GPa have the advantage? Yeah, I think the odds are more in their favor. But CPom aren't massive underdogs, they've reinvented themselves this season and provwn themselves. Besides, this is Anthony's home ice and where they won their Junior National title, so hopefully good vibes!!

i agree that CPom are looking really good skating-wise, performance-wise, program-wise, and in their confidence and demeanor. i think there was an overreaction to Gr/Pa's debut at Finlandia, from me included, because last season's FD was so stunning, and this season's is so safe and blah that it felt disappointing. but they skated clean and looked good for having been at MIDA just over 2 months. the Taschlers are a good team, too, and Gr/Pa were behind them by 1.51 pts.

so i'm curious about young CPom - i've watched all their junior programs, and they were very good very young, period. but the part i have a question about is the generational talent thing. That phrase i understand to mean you're the kind of talent who comes along once in a generation. Scott Moir as a generational talent, i get that

i remember hearing that being said about Anthony too, but i don't understand it the same way. every single interview or article about them when they were young would mention right away who his parents are. did the generational thing come because it's an intriguing part of his story that he's a 2nd generation ice dancer with OGM parents? and this isn't to take anything away from him, he's unquestionably talented. like if those two meanings of generation got conflated, or if people really meant he's a once in a blue moon skater? and who said it

anyway, can't wait to see them on thursday- i really want CPom to go to worlds, but i hope both teams have amazing skates

[justalittlebluetiefling]

I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.

[mistfallengw2]

Also apparently I'm the only one who uses trello as a character site.

Y'ALL ARE MISSING OUT

[good-night-space-kid]

I’m going to be living and publicly working while trans in a small town this summer and besties I cannot lie. I am nervous

[applejarjar]

Damn, ppl do this waiting for a job offer thing all the time?

[rotrightthrough]

We’re live!

Word count: 2000 somehow?? I intended this to be a little Drabble but oh well. This is a re upload for visibility. Idea is from @swollentummies

Eli adjusted his lingerie to drape perfectly over his baby bump. The fabric was extremely tight, a purchase from much earlier in his pregnancy, but it was one of his favorite pieces, made of pure, delicate white lace, and today was an important show. He was prepared to go all out. “Be good for this one ok?” He whispered down at the 42 week swell of his belly. Eli had actually planned to take a break from camming after he hit his due date but after 2 weeks of minimal movement and no signs of imminent labour, he decided to bless his viewers with one last show, one where he’s as pregnant as he’ll ever be. A grand finale of you will.With one more adjustment of his posture he flicked on his camera and smiled as he watched the viewers pour in. “Ok guys I’m sad to say this will be my last show for a while, so let’s make it a good one.”

Comments flooded through the chat, many disappointed but just as many merely excited to see their favorite camboy stream so close to birth. “We’re going to be doing donations for requests today. Nothing too crazy though.” He giggled, “don’t want to send me into labor.” His first donation came in right after that statement. It was a pretty hefty one too, with the request being simply to do 10 jumping jacks. “Jumping jacks?” He raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. A request is a request after all. The mere action of standing up was arduous now, but he tried to make it look more sultry and less like he was a beached whale coming up from the water. He did one jumping Jack before realizing why the donor had requested such an action. As he jumped out his belly would bob and sway, the pure gravity and speed of the action foreign to Eli’s body at such an advanced stage in pregnancy.

He tried his best to make the exertion appealing to his viewers, even lingering to gently stroke his belly afterwards, which was now awake with a flurry of exercise induced activity. He panted as he sat back down, adjusting his camera so the viewers could be treated to a full view of his overdue belly. “Oof, that was tougher than I thought, I guess I’m getting pretty out of shape huh?” He chuckled before glancing back at his monitor. He saw a request to get onto his bed and immediately took it, those jumping jacks certainly did a number on his back. This odd pain began to spread at the base of it, radiating upwards. But he ignored it, after all who doesn’t have back pain when they were as overdue as he was.He leaned against the plush pillows of his bed, propping his belly up like a cake in a display case. He glanced at a particular donation and grinned mischievously. It was a challenge he’d done quite a few times before.

He had a small vibrater that he had programmed to raise in one level of speed and intensity every time someone donated over 1,000 dollars. It had been a staple prop in his shows for a while now but he hadn’t used it since he hit 36 weeks, afraid to set off labor. However since the amount of money needed to raise the level was so high, he reasoned it would probably stay at a pretty tolerable level of stimulation. “No I am not lowering the level raising price.” He giggled as he slipped the little toy between the very small allowance between his lingerie. It was so tight even the small vibrator fit snugly and secure in his panties. “This is our last show for a bit, don’t go cheaping out on me.” He added a little pout as a flourish.

Then a devious little idea popped into his head.He leaned against the pillows and adjusted his hips so the audience could see the bulge of the vibrator in his semi transparent panties. “I’m so worried though, I heard too much stimulation can cause someone to go into labor,” he purred and stroked his ripe belly. “I really hope that doesn’t happen.” Eli smirked internally. The vibrator had ten levels, and it was incredibly rare for it to ever get above a 5 in a single show, especially considering certain patrons would pay to interrupt the portion to get him to do other acts, resetting the donations. He knew even a 5 may be a little intense for him this late in his pregnancy, but he was certain he could handle it. He was a professional.The first donations flow in, probably brought on by his teasing.

They come faster than usual but not intolerably so, even in Eli’s gravid state. Despite this he makes a show of it, sitting up and rocking his hips, moaning softly as the vibrations echo throughout him. He feels his stomach tighten from the sudden shift but simply continues to rock his hips, it helps with the odd pressure forming at his pelvis.“Oof, guess I’m extra sensitive today guys, only level 1 and I’m already feeling it.” He smiled, tracing hearts along the overstretched skin of his belly button.

As he rode his way through the vibrations he decided to answer some questions.“No, the doctor said he doesn’t think it’s twins. Just one big guy.” He chuckled, reading through further. “Oh come on, don’t underestimate me. I can totally give birth to them naturally. I know my hips are a little narrow but I’ll be getting an epidural so it’ll be fine.” The chat seemed a little disappointed at that and Eli smirked a little too smugly. “What, did you guys want me to give birth on stream? That’s a little far even for me.” For some reason donations started to flood in after that, brutally fast, as if Eli taunts had only encouraged them.

Eli’s performative panting and moans began to transform into genuine guttural sounds as he felt the pressure build around the base of his abandoning. His belly seemed to squeeze with every new donation, a constant war between the pleasure of the vibrations and the pain of these odd sensations. And then it hit him. He was in labor. The thought quickly made him spiral before he realized a few things. This was his first baby, and first babies are known to take forever and his water hadn’t even broken yet. He was fine to wrap up the show.Besides he was making more money now than he ever had. Even an hour more could mean thousands of dollars. But as the vibrator began to approach level 4 he panted a few shallow breaths. The little squeezes were becoming big- long squeezes, so intense they were visible on his belly from the monitor. His stomach now sat between his thighs, low and heavy.

“Ok guys I think we’re gonna wrap up soon. I think I’m in labor.” Perhaps his chat thought he was doing some sort of roleplay thing because that really made the donations go haywire. Hundreds of dollars at a time skyrocketed him up to level 5, causing his entire body to become jelly like- moaning lewdly. “Fuck, guys I’m serious.” He panted, rubbing a hand from the base of his contracting belly to the top, feeling how rock hard the surface was. “Hooo look,” he stammered out, poking his belly for emphasis, showing the camera the state of his baby bump, stretched beyond its limits and wracked with contractions.

He kept trying to reach for his camera, or his monitor to shut off the stream but each new donation and each new contraction kept his nailed down, clenching around nothing. “Ooo fuck guys.. hooo, owww,” he moaned, moving again before immediately realising what a horrible idea that was.Sitting up in it of itself was a struggle on a good day, sitting up with a vibrator in him and a baby thrashing around was nearly impossible. He attempted to wade through the mixture of agony of bliss, rocking his hips in a circular motion.

Unfortunately this only seemed to encourage his babies descent, and before he knew it, he felt the whole weight of the baby on his pelvis, pressing against his cervix. Little by little he was managing to sit up, having to lay back slightly every time a new donation or contraction came in. But eventually he was able to make it right to the button on his pc, finger hovering over it and then-

Optimus_Alpha donated $4,000!

Pop!

Just like that his progress was halted and he threw his head back in a combination of ecstasy and agony. Not only had the vibrator been brought up to its maximum level in the span of a minute, but the pure shock of it caused his water to break, amniotic fluid soaking his bed and his beautiful white lingerie. His brain started to panic, before instinct set in and he almost forgot that he had an audience, with more flooding in each minute. Thousands of viewers, all about to lay witness to the birth of a new life. “Hooo fuckkkk-“ Eli moaned gutturally, attempting to shove off his panties as he felt them bulge. But it was useless, they were just too tight.

He needed scissors or something, but he would be amiss if he ruined such a perfect pair of panties.So instead he focused on slow pushes, panting heavily as he managed to push the lacy lingerie off. It was an agonizing process, his mind hazy with pain throughout, but eventually the panties lay at his swollen ankles and he was able to remove that damn vibrator. Now that his panties were off his viewers received a full view of his bulging exit, swollen and dangerously stretched over the baby’s massive head. He stroked the area with a free hand, gasping as he felt the sliver of head stretch him, a bit of dark hair peeking out.

“Ohhh fuck fuck he’s so big, he’s too big.” Eli cursed, clutching his belly. He was wracked by constant contractions now, and with no vibration to distract him he was forced to confront the full pain of childbirth.

He pushed and squeezed until his face grew a shade of bright red, stroking his belly with one hand and the fiery ring of hell that was his nether regions with the other, helping to stretch the area. The burn was terrible, like nothing he had ever felt, and he became lost in it, bearing down and pushing like his life depended on it.He clutched at his ruined silk sheets as he bore down for one brutal push before he heard a satisfying pop of the baby's head dislodging. He met momentary relief before having to pant out the shoulders, adjusting himself into a low squat to accommodate the rest of the baby's body. With the shoulders out the feet quickly followed and the not so little baby that emerged from him started to cry.

Eli collapsed onto his pillows, cradling his 12 pound infant to his chest. He laughed tiredly before laying a kiss on the babies forehead. “Well aren’t you a cutie?” He sat their peacefully for a moment before he heard his computer ding, signaling the 3 hour mark of the stream. Shit. He forgot to turn the damn thing off. “Umm.” He smiled nervously. “I told you today was a special show?” Honestly, it was a net positive. The money he made from that stream was enough to go on maternity leave for a loooong time.

[captainsophiestark]

Don't Mess With Demeter

Luke Castellan x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for Fictober 2024!

Fandom: Percy Jackson

Day One Prompt: "That was good work."

Summary: Travis and Connor Stoll like to cause problems. Fortunately, having Luke Castellan for a boyfriend can help take the sting out of dealing with those problems.

Word Count: 1,802

Category: Fluff, Humor

A/N: Happy spooky season everyone!

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU TWO!"

My eyes snapped open at the screeching sound coming from just outside my cabin. I rolled out of bed quickly, hustling to the front door in my pajamas, to find Katie Gardner absolutley fuming in the front doorway. Her fists were clenched as she started at someone beyond the cabin door, the early morning light giving her silhouette a rosy glow.

I hadn't had a chance to look at the clock, but clearly it was much too early on a Saturday for me to be dealing with this. Unfortunately for me, as the head counselor for the Demeter cabin, I didn't actually have a choice.

I followed Katie as she stormed outside, in hot pursuit of whoever had gotten on her bad side. As she stepped further into the light, I realized she was absolutley dripping wet, and the most likely series of events clicked into my head at the exact same time I heard the Stolls cackle.

Damned Hermes kids. I knew better than to expect them to ever stop pranking us completely, especially since Travis seemed to use it as a way to flirt with Katie, but did they have to do it so early in the morning?

By the time I cleared the Demeter cabin's front steps, Katie had already chased the Stolls halfway across the lawn full of cabins, shouting and hurling seed packets at them as she went. With a little Demeter magic, she made the packets explode as soon as they got close enough to the Stolls. For the sake of every single camper still asleep, I needed to put a stop to this sooner than later.

I snatched up my own handful of seeds that had been sitting outside the cabin, then took off after Katie, Connor, and Travis. The Stolls kept cutting back and forth across the grass, Katie always a few steps behind them, which made it much easier for me to catch up to the trio by skipping the zig zags. Connor made it almost to the treeline of the forest before apparently remembering he might not want to take a fight with a Demeter kid into the woods, so he came to a screeching halt. Travis, who'd had his head turned to grin at Katie, ran right into his back. The two went toppling to the ground, and when I finally reached them, Katie had her arm pulled back to annihilate the brothers with whatever she managed to grow out of all the seeds she'd grabbed.

"Nope!" I cried, using one hand to stop Katie from following through on her throw while I scattered my own seeds with the other. A little concentration and a wave of my hand later, some flowers had sprouted and wrapped lightly around the Stolls' legs, keeping them in place at least for the moment. I turned my attention fully to Katie again.

She scolwed me, her half-dry hair and near-growling tone giving her quite a wild look.

"What are you doing? I had them!"

"Katie, as much as I get where you're coming from, I can't let you make the Stolls into living tress."

"Why not? They deserve it! It'd finally stop them from showing up at our cabin at five in the morning on a Saturday just to mess with us!" I grimaced. I knew it was early, but 5am... oof. "See! You know I'm right."

I sighed. "While my regular camper heart might agree with you, since my alarm was you screaming thanks to their prank... my senior counselor brain is reminding me we don't get to kill the other campers, even when they might deserve it. Sorry, Katie."

"So what, they just get away with it? Like nothing ever happened?"

"No, definitley not." I turned to the Stolls again, hands on my hips. They'd both managed to get about halfway out of my flower trap, but they froze on the spot when they noticed my attention on them. "What do you think, boys? You drove a daughter of Demeter to a murderous rage. I think that's gonna take quite a bit to make up for it."

They both sighed, relaxing back against the ground as they shared a look. They communicated silently for a few moments, Travis opening his mouth to say something before Connor held up a hand. Finally, Connor turned back to me.

"We'll take her stable cleaning chores for the week," he said. Katie and I scoffed in sync.

"Nice try, Connor. How about this? Both of you take all of Katie's chore spots for the next week, and I'll schedule you a few extra rotations in the stables, since you seemed so willing to take over there. And if you wake me up this early in the morning by going after one of my siblings again, I might just roll over and go back to sleep while Katie takes care of the problem for me."

Travis huffed, flopping onto his back on the ground, and Connor narrowed his eyes at me.

"That seems a little harsh."

"Oh, by all means. Let me wake you up at five tomorrow with screaming and a run and see how you feel about it."

"Fine. Message recieved," he huffed, rolling his eyes. I waved my hand to free them both from the flower trap and they stood. They made it all the way to the door of the Hermes cabin, Travis shooting a wink at Katie as he went, before Connor paused and turned back to me. "We'll make sure to schedule our pranks in the late morning from now on."

The grin those two gave me before ducking through the door was mischief incranate, but I just sighed. Now that the crisis had been dealt with, all I wanted was to go back to sleep.

"I'm going to kill them," Katie huffed from beside me. I turned to her with a lopsided smile.

"Even Travis?"

"Of course Travis! Why would you even ask me that?" I raised an eyebrow at her, and despite her scowl, she blushed furiously. "Oh, shut up! A traitor in my own house..."

She shook her head, grumbling as she headed back to our cabin without looking back at me. I just grinned as I watched her go. As much as she liked to complain about the Stolls, I'd seen her shoulder to shoulder having the time of her life with them too many times to believe she really hated them. Travis especially.

The sound of a door opening and closing drew my attention away from Katie and back to the Hermes cabin. I got ready to hurl another handful of seeds if the Stolls had decided to pick possibly the worst time ever to show their faces again, but instead, I got a much nicer surprise. Luke, my boyfriend and the head counselor of the Hermes cabin, wandered out in a camp t-shirt and his pajama pants, his hair a delightfully ruffled mess.

"Hey," he called as he walked towards me. "Any idea why the Stolls just came running into my cabin muttering and plotting?"

"Is that not just the base state of Hermes kids?"

"Very funny," he huffed, and I grinned.

"They dumped a bucket of water on Katie's head this morning. I woke up to her screaming bloody vengance, and just managed to catch them before she got her revenge. In the interest of keeping the peace, I gave them all her chore spots in exchange for Katie not attacking them. Then I made sure they knew I wasn't going to get up to save them next time if something happened before nine am."

Luke laughed, pulling me in close for a hug as he finally reached me. I let him, leaning into his chest and sighing in the now-peaceful morning.

"You know they're just going to wait until about five minutes after nine now, right?"

"Yeah."

"As long as you're prepared. Still. That was good work." He pulled back with a smile, then leaned in as if to kiss me. I leaned back, putting a hand on his chest to stop him, and he frowned.

"Kisses are for boyfriends who don't abandon me to deal with his problem-children on my own. At five in the morning."

Luke huffed a laugh before pulling me back into his chest. I let him, although I put up a little resistance just to make my point.

"Hm. I don't suppose there's anything I can do to make it up to you? Get back in your good graces?"

"I don't know, Castellan. Connor and Travis made me run at five in the morning."

"Oh, it's Castellan now, is it?"

"Mhm."

"Alright. What if... I put together an extra-special date for us tonight? Something romantic, relaxing, and maybe even a little magical. Would that get me back in your good graces?"

I hummed pretending to think about it. Luke kissed the top of my head, then pulled back again enough to look me in the eye. He raised an eyebrow.

"Well?"

"I guess that might work. Depending on just how relaxing and romantic said date is."

"Oh, I can promise you right now, it'll be the most romantic and the most relaxing. And even better, I'll make sure nobody can interrupt us with camp problems, pranks, or anything else for the rest of the night."

"You really think you can make that happen?" I asked, letting the skepticism creep into my voice. By virtue of being two of the oldest campers who'd also been here close to the longest, we got roped into everything. Luke just grinned back at me, a little bit of his family resemblance to the Stolls creeping through via the glint in his eyes.

"I really think I can."

I grinned, dropping the huffy act and leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

"Well, good. Because after this morning, I need a night like that with my favorite person."

"So I take it I'm at least mostly off the hook?"

"Mostly. All the way if and when we get our peaceful night tonight."

"Can't wait."

We shared a smile, then Luke leaned in to kiss me, and this time I let him. Despite the early hour, the moment alone with the camp so quiet as the sun rose over Long Island Sound was actually pretty nice. After a moment, though, I pulled back, and Luke and I shared a sigh.

"You wanna head to breakfast while we can still get away with sitting at the same table? Before the rest of the campers show up?"

"Always," he said, smiling again and taking my hand in his. The two of us headed off to the dining pavilion together, taking the rare opportunity to enjoy a peaceful morning together. Would I have preferred to still be asleep right now? Sure. But if I couldn't get that, then a nice, quiet morning with Luke wasn't a bad second option.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Riordanverse: @valkyriepirate

[lokorum]

Your art so surreal, did you take inspiration from African masks it’s amazing. You have probably gotten this question before but what’s your process and how do plan these beautiful pieces out. I am a beginner artist and would like some advice on how start doing digital painting.

thank you for bringing me back from the dead with your kindness, (i was so sad today ughhhh i think watching vampire diaries starting to affect me hjkhjk), i really, really deeply thankful that you spend your time to write something so sweet (also sorry it took me literally ages to reply phphp THE USUAL)

yeah, in buryatia shamanism like the big thing, so when i went to search what's out there in the masks department - google's mess of the results for once was helpful and showed this massive collection of beautiful african masks. the one that was inspo for tiisha lived in my head rent free for weeks before the character was even born phphph now i cant even imagine her without it 

(here is little tiisha for you before i'll proceed to be not helpfull phphphph)

oof advices are not my strong side , like..........my process mostly is just sleep through the whole thing i guess..........................i very rarely do sketches, i hate study anatomy and perspective, drawing cubes makes me physically sick etc etc my approach to drawing were "fuck around and find out", always about chill and fun and barely ever about learning. imho thats why im so shitty at drawing simple things but not bad at coloring. so yeah, my biggest advice always and forever will be - be gentle to yourself, please

digital or traditional or whatever else is out there, dont forget you make it for yourself and for yourself only okay? it supposed to be fun, not sad tiring and competitive 

advices for digital specifically tho - very objective, apply with caution

learn all the keyboard shortcuts, ideally to press them without thinking 

explore more instruments than just brush. it will be tedious and sometimes feel like a chore so mb pick one victim once a month and browse youtube for a stuff like SECRET ULTIMATE TIPS ABOUT MAGIC WAND TOOL THAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE (they indeed will save your life) 

check if your drawing program has artboards - turning it on will give you more freedom over canvas positioning  and your refs will always be there and not in the separate window 

idk about others but using auto tone, auto contrast and auto color often gives me well needed perspective on what im doing 

in 99% cases be sure that you can reanimate even the most messiest artpiece you ever did. working in digital gives you the chance to mess with shapes, colors and perspective at any time so if you dont want to gave up on something - you absolutely didnt have to

from time to time while you are still learning - go out there in the wilds and search for the new brushes. tweak with them if you want. i have like ~500 and i use 6 max, but those 6 i found by at some point trying to draw with all of the 500

MADE. BACK UPS. and i mean not like save layers just in case before merging them (tho that's too will help) no, i mean click SAVE AS once an hour and create A NEW FILE. PLEASE. i lost so much stuff to sudden power outage. its never pretty and you loosing will to work for days

watch at least one tutorial about the whole rgb srgb and cmyk thing - i did, understood not a thing, but at least im not playing dora the explorer with my colors after the export now 

uh idk think thats it? tried to think about those that id hope i knew when i started so hopefully something will help 

have fun with your drawings!! 

[khaleesiofalicante]

Like a Challenge - An LDV Malec Story

“Tutoring, Mom? Really? The rest of us didn’t get tutoring.”

“It’s different these days, hun. The curriculum is extremely competitive now,” his mother points out, walking past him down the stairs. “It’s as if they want the children to fail in class.”

“So, what if he fails a class or two?” Alec asks without thinking.

Mom stops in her tracks and turns around, incredulous. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“He’s in fourth grade!” Alec throws up his hands. “Nobody cares if he fails at math!”

“I care,” Mom huffs.

“Do you really care if he fails math, or are you just worried about your friends finding out?” Alec cocks his head.

“Do you really not want him to go for tutoring, or are you just complaining because you don’t want to drive him?” Mom counters, raising an eyebrow.

Right. Never argue with a lawyer.

“Mom, come on,” Alec groans, trailing after her. “I have lectures.”

“You don’t have lectures on the weekends,” she points out, pausing at the bottom of the stairs. “And the last time I checked, you don’t have a social life either.”

“That was unnecessary!” Alec scowls, crossing his arms. “I have plans to hang out with Jace on weekends, you know.”

“Great, take Jace with you.”

“Mom!”

“Alec, honestly, I ask you for one thing-”

“Okay, here we go-”

“-And I do so much for this family while managing my full-time job-”

“Jesus, Mom! Fine. I’ll drive him!” Alec relents. 

He knows full well that she only asked him because he was the only one who’d drive through Manhattan traffic on the weekend without complaining (much) about it. 

Izzy just straight-up said, ‘No, thanks.’ Alec wishes he could be that indifferent too.

But maybe it’s not a bad thing. 

His little brother is growing up fast, and Alec worries that Max will pull away any day now. He’ll be a teenager in a couple of years, and Alec will have graduated from Columbia. Max will be too cool to hang out with his boring older brother.

So, yeah. Maybe this is an opportunity to bond. God knows he struggles with it. He’s good with Izzy, and Izzy is good with both of them. But Alec and Max never really clicked for some reason. He usually blames the age gap, as it prevents him from thinking too much about other possible reasons.

“Thank you, darling, drive safe!” Mom blows him a kiss and heads out the door.

Alec heads upstairs to find his brother, only to discover that Max is already downstairs, sitting in the passenger seat, waiting for him.

“Someone’s excited for tutoring,” Alec chuckles as he slides behind the wheel. “Is Mom forcing you too?”

“No, I want to be good at math,” Max hums in response. “Dad says I need it if I want to study programming.”

“Buddy, you’re nine,” Alec shakes his head fondly.

“Maybe I’m a child prodigy,” Max shrugs and leans out of the window. “How long till we get to Brooklyn?”

“Shouldn’t you know that, Child Prodigy?” Alec grins.

Max scowls and looks out the window again, unimpressed. Alec isn’t really sure how to get through to him. Nothing he ever does or says seems to interest Max.

Except for one thing.

“Do you think when you’re president, we can skip the line when we go to Five Guys?” Max asks suddenly.

It’s one of his favorite things to do - asking Alec the most random hypothetical questions about his future as the president of the country.

The rest of the family, and probably the rest of the country, mostly care about how he’s going to change lives. Max just wants to know if they can skip lines and get discounts.

Sometimes Alec wants to become president just to make those dreams come true.

“They’ll probably close it down for us,” Alec replies. “We’ll be the only people there.”

“That sounds sad, Alec,” Max says casually.

“I guess,” Alec murmurs, trying not to let it sting. Kids, man. Oof. “But we’ll have each other, right?”

“I guess,” Max echoes, going back to people-watching through the window.

When they arrive at the address Mom gave him, Alec climbs out of the car and escorts Max to the building. They climb the stairs, Alec holding Max’s hand.

“I’m not a child,” Max mumbles, tugging at the strap of his backpack with his other hand.

“You are literally the legal definition of a child,” Alec laughs. Max rolls his eyes.

Maybe this is why they don’t vibe. Maybe Max doesn’t want to feel like a child, especially with siblings old enough to go to college. But Alec doesn’t know how else to treat him - like a baby, something precious and important. 

“Why are we taking the stairs anyway?” Max complains.

“This is an old building,” Alec explains. “Most on this side of town don’t have elevators.”

“Do you think when you’re president, you can make elevators compulsory for all buildings?” Max asks.

“I don’t see why not,” Alec shrugs. “It would make buildings more accessible for people with wheelchairs.”

“Or you could ask people to build flying wheelchairs,” Max suggests. “That would be accessible and fun.”

“Would you be interested in being one of my advisors?” Alec asks, maybe a little too genuinely.

“We’ll see,” Max hums, as if considering all the offers from all the potential presidents.

Alec can’t help but smile. His brother is too good. 

Which is why he doesn’t need this stupid tutoring. Max is perfect. He is hardworking and probably the smartest of them all. Alec doesn’t want Max to think there’s something lacking in him, even if there is, he doesn’t want Max to feel like it’s something to be fixed.

Sometimes you’re just bad at stuff, and that’s fine.

Max knocks on the door, and Alec quickly crouches down. “Hey, listen. We don’t actually have to do this.”

“Really?” Max looks surprised, as if he didn’t know that was an option. “What about Mom?”

“We could tell her you went to class,” Alec grins. “We could just hang out in the arcade for an hour instead.”

“Really?” Max gasps, eyes wide with excitement.

So, that’s how you become the fun sibling. You lie to your parents and play loose with your morals. 

Got it. Alec can do this all day.

He’s about to throw Max over his shoulder and run down the stairs when the apartment door opens. Alec looks up.

Oh.

“Hello?” The man on the other side smiles warmly. “You must be Max. I’m Magnus.”

“Er, it’s Alec, actually,” Alec straightens up immediately. “Alec Lightwood.”

“I was talking to the child, but it’s nice to meet you, Alec Lightwood,” Magnus says with a small roll of his eyes. His gorgeous eyes. “Max, do you want to come inside?”

“Uh,” Max hesitates and turns to Alec. “We’re actually here to sell Girl Scout cookies. Right, Alec?”

Magnus leans against the doorframe, an amused smile playing on his lips. “Are you a Girl Scout then?”

“Yes?” Max replies, uncertain but determined.

“Not that I am opposed to breaking gender roles, love, but you don’t seem to have any cookies with you,” Magnus points out.

“It’s in the car,” Max informs seriously. “We’ll go get it.”

“Hold on there,” Alec grabs Max by the shirt and pulls him back. He smiles awkwardly at Magnus, who steps aside to let them in. “He’s just joking.”

“Joking?” Magnus raises an eyebrow, settling into a small circular dining table for two. “Trying to be a stand-up comedian, are we?”

“No,” Max scowls, clearly not amused.

“No?” Magnus shakes his head with a smile. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. “What do you want to do when you grow up then?”

“I’m gonna make video games,” Max declares confidently.

“That sounds fun,” Magnus says, genuinely interested.

“You’re not gonna ask me what I want to do when I grow up?” Alec asks, trying to keep his tone light.

Magnus gives him a look, then sighs dramatically. “What do you want to do when you grow up, Alexander?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I’m gonna be the president,” Alec announces.

“That doesn’t sound fun,” Magnus remarks, turning back to Max.

“Shall we get started? I know a lot of people don’t like math, but I’ll try to make it fun for you, hm?”

“You do this a lot?” Alec asks, settling onto the couch, unable to resist.

Magnus glances at him, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Alexander, you are interrupting my class. But if you must know, yes, tutoring is my side gig.”

“What’s your main gig then?” Alec presses, intrigued.

Magnus tilts his head, a playful smile dancing on his lips. “You know, your mother doesn’t pay me to talk to you.”

“Can I pay you to talk to me?” Alec grins, undeterred.

“I don’t think you can afford it, darling,” Magnus hums, turning his attention back to Max.

Alec doesn’t disturb them afterward. He settles on the couch, fiddling with the book he brought. But he can’t focus. His eyes keep drifting to Magnus, who is quietly tutoring Max, a smile ever-present on his face. Max seems engaged in the lesson, asking questions now and then, laughing at whatever Magnus tells him.

An hour and some intense pining later, Magnus wraps up the lesson and even offers Max a cookie.

“Do I get a cookie?” Alec asks with a grin walking up to the man in the small kitchen. 

“I don’t think you’ve earned it,” Magnus shrugs, putting the box of cookies away carefully. “Is there someone else who can accompany Max next weekend?”

“Do you find me distracting?” Alec cocks his head.

Magnus lets out a dramatic sigh, as if annoyed, but it’s not a no. “Does your brother know?”

“He knows I’m gay,” Alec shrugs.

“Does he know you’re flirting with his teacher?” Magnus corrects.

“Max, do you know that I’m flirting with your teacher?” Alec calls out.

“You keep staring at him a lot,” his brother says with a slight frown. “Is that what flirting means?”

“No,” Magnus says seriously and turns back to Alec. “If you’re coming here again, I’m going to have to ask you to behave.”

“What if I find him a better teacher?” Alec suggests. “Can I come back here and not behave then?”

“You can find him a different teacher, but I doubt you’d find him a better teacher,” Magnus replies haughtily.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Alec notes.

“I quite like Max,” Magnus says to that. “I’d like to keep tutoring him.”

“Yeah?” Alec can’t help but smile at that. “He’s good?”

“He’s curious,” Magnus replies. “I like curious children.”

“And he seems to like you too,” Alec points out. “He’s usually very quiet. He laughs with you. Never laughs at my jokes.”

“Maybe you’re not as funny as you think you are, Alexander,” Magnus suggests.

Alec laughs at that, shaking his head. “I guess it’s just an older brother thing. He doesn’t like anything I do.”

“Appreciation is not the same as affirmation,” Magnus says. “He might not show it, but he seems to believe in you anyway.”

“Is that right?” Alec asks, amused.

“I’ve known him for an hour, and he’s already mentioned four times that when his brother becomes president-”

“It’s just a silly game he likes to play-”

“He says when, not if,” Magnus points out. “He believes in you. Sometimes that’s enough.”

“You got all of that in an hour?” Alec asks incredulously.

“I am very perceptive,” Magnus shrugs.

“Do you want to go out on a date with me?” Alec asks, feeling like enough foreplay has been had. Well, not enough, but maybe they can pick it up later. Hopefully.

Magnus stares at him for a long moment, fiddling with the hem of his blue shirt. “Did you mean what you said before? About the president thing? Is that really your dream?”

“Yes,” Alec nods without hesitation.

“Then it is best that you keep your distance from me,” Magnus points out.

“Why?” Alec asks.

“Because dating someone like me will make things difficult for you,” Magnus replies.

“Magnus, I’m a gay man trying to be the president of this country,” Alec laughs. “It’s already difficult for me.”

“So why on earth would you make things more difficult?” Magnus demands. 

“Because I like a challenge,” Alec shrugs. “And you’re really fucking gorgeous.”

“Huh,” Magnus says in response. “Well, you should’ve probably started with that.”

Alec chuckles. “So?”

“So?” Magnus echoes.

“You gonna give me a cookie or what?” Alec asks.

“Not yet,” Magnus hums. “Perhaps you should give me your number, and I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”

Alec does his best not to jump into the air and pump his fists. He nods solemnly instead. “That sounds fair.”

“Alec, let’s go!” Max shouts, picking up his backpack and wiping his hands on his trousers.

“I’ll see you next week, Max,” Magnus tells the boy with a smile. “Remember your homework, hm?”

“Okay,” Max gives a thumbs up.

“I’ll see you next week too?” Alec asks.

“I suppose you will,” Magnus smiles at him. “Have a good day, Alexander.”

“Yeah, it’s not gonna get better than this,” Alec calls over his shoulder as he grabs his brother’s hand and heads down the stairs.

“Alec?” Max says as he climbs into the passenger seat of the car.

“Yeah, buddy?” Alec asks as he gets behind the wheel.

“Are you going to marry Magnus when you become president?” Max asks him.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Alec scoffs, giving his brother a smile. “I’m gonna marry him way before that.”

[barrenclan]

HI. im coming to you with Thoughts because i just realized something about the latest issue that was probably obvious but didn't click for me until now. apologies if my thoughts come out jumbled!

so i was rereading the last issue because OOF, of course i did. and something that stuck out to me were the final few lines from rainhaze.

"'This is vile,' I thought, 'There's absolutely no reason I should do it. This is pointless. This is irredeemable. This is monstrous.' So I killed her."

what stuck out to me was the phrasing of that last line in conjunction to the thoughts beforehand. at first i thought "thats a strange way to phrase that." i thought to myself that it would be better worded if it said something like "but I killed her anyway" or something that communicated that rainhaze did it IN SPITE of how vile and pointless it was.

but then it clicked.

rainhaze DIDNT do it in spite of it. he did it BECAUSE its vile. because its pointless. because there was no reason for him to do it. because its hypocritical.

because those are all of defiance's ideals.

him murdering asphodel was him giving himself completely over to defiance, accepting the programing that ranger forcibly put him through. completely erasing the cat he was in barrenclan in favor of the cat he is now. a hollow, haunted murderer who can't help but stain his claws. he probably viewed himself as irredeemable the moment he killed dustfeather, and solidified that belief the more he cleaned, the more he killed. he doesn't see a future ahead of him where he can move on from what he's done. he only sees a future with more stains, with more cries, with more limp bodies at his claws.

there is no point in crawling to hope. hope for him now is residing in defiance. his home now. the least he can do is commit.

so he killed her.

EXACTLY.

[incorrectbatfam]

Batfam having tumblr.

🔥 Sponsored with Blaze

official-batman

I don't care what the media has told us about antiheroes, but there is absolutely ZERO excuse for taking another human life and if you do then you're no better than the thing you're trying to stop.

redrobin ⇌ official-batman

op is a furry

official-batman ⇌ redrobin

Firstly, I don't fit the definition of a furry since I do not wear the suit for recreational purposes nor is the design remotely in vein. Secondly, you shouldn't be ridiculing people's interests. As I was saying, there's a plethora of scientific evidence showing that while humans have killed in certain instances, we are biologically wired to be altruistic people and shouldn't give into moments of anger.

thatpurplething ⇌ official-batman

"Just don't murder" wow way to oversimplify a broader systemic issue AND minimize the trauma murdered people experience

notmysecretanimeblog ⇌ thatpurplething

Not to derail because it's a good point but user @/thatpurplething endorses unethical consumption by having chicken nuggets in her profile picture.

i-am-darkness-i-am-the-light ⇌ notmysecretanimeblog

Actually those are bofa

dickwings ⇌ i-am-darkness-i-am-the-light

bofa deez updogs

your-tired-librarian ⇌ dickwings

Going back to OP's point, there is a lot of debate around the biological killing instinct. As an example, some animal species cannibalize themselves, even within the same families. Sometimes it's out of desperation or an attempt at protection, but other times it's overt hostility. Even at the cellular level, microorganisms can absorb and break down their own kind. There's a great book from some Ivy University professors talking about the self-destructive programming found in nature. #op being a furry is still a massive oof

orphanized ⇌ your-tired-librarian

the cain instinct

bluebirdz ⇌ orphanized

Me when my brother falls down the stairs and tells me he's been Destiel Superhelled

local-zombie ⇌ bluebirdz

Me when my brother

kitty-central ⇌ local-zombie

What is happening?

pennyworthy ⇌ kitty-central

Batblr's splendid work as usual.

lesbian-premium ⇌ pennyworthy

why was i blazed this post

[official-linguistics-post]

Linguistics has been a special interest of mine for many many years, but I'm scared to study it academically bc of all the eurocentric racism and stuff that has been the basis for the field historically. Otoh i really would like to have an academic level of understanding in this topic. Do you have any advice?

oof, this is kind of hard to advise. i won't (couldn't possibly) deny the racism in linguistics—often baked into certain subfields—but there are a lot of people who are currently, actively working to dismantle those frameworks and put more equitable ones into practice (see the paired open-access books inclusion in linguistics and decolonizing linguistics for a start).

unfortunately, teaching is still catching up in many places. introductory courses in particular may get designed once and reused for years. if you want formal academic study, i recommend looking for a program that legitimately supports antiracist work by its faculty and students, because they'll be more empowered to pass on that practice in their instruction than people who are fighting their own admin for changes.

[episims]

A Peek to My SFS Stats

I know some creators prefer not seeing their download numbers and that's fair! This kind of stuff can easily cause pressure and/or feelings of underachievement.

For me though, it's just statistics. And since it's pretty precisely 5 years from when I first uploaded anything to SFS, I've gathered some data to play with.

So, this very self-indulgent post is solely about my SFS stats. Just because I'm a total nerd I find it interesting, and I like being open about things. It's long and blabbery so the rest is safely under the cut.

For the background: I tend to create whatever I need for my own game. I share my weird stuff because I feel like it's a trade for everything I download from others.

Probably due to the lack of any consistency or branding at all, my CC has a wide range in download numbers. I have some popular pieces, sure, but also some niche mods like no snow accumulation that has only interested 126 persons in nearly two years.

Even though saying "only 126" is an illusion created by the internet. Imagine if those 126 individuals would come to you in person. That's more people than I've probably even had a real talk with during the last year!

The raw data of my SFS main folder is (calculated with a sheets program): it has 227 files and the average download count for each file is 1557, but 74% of the files have been downloaded fewer times than the average.

So even though my CC isn't usually downloaded that much, I've shared a handful of things that have been downloaded so much more than everything else that they pull the average up.

What are those things? Time is an important factor here, as most CC tends to gather downloads over time (not a single post from 2023 on this list).

1) Subtle wrinkles (January 2022)

17313 downloads (674 hearts; ~3,9% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1112

That's several thousand more than the second most downloaded thing I have, and it's such a random thing.

I'm sure most people have downloaded them to get those 4t2(ish) forehead wrinkles. I have no other explanation as the rest of them are hand-drawn by a person who can't draw. Also the preview is frankly hideous, I used about one minute to take it... safe to say I didn't expect this post to gather any attention at all.

2) Cellphone default (January 2021)

13547 downloads (565 hearts; ~4,2% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1133

Noteworthy that it's been updated a couple of times which pushes people to redownload.

This was a quick passion project, since at that time I couldn't find a cellphone default I was completely happy with. If it hadn't been a quickie, I would've used more time to find a good base mesh oof. Many thanks to @pforestsims for later improving it.

3) Tombstone defaults (December 2019)

12477 downloads (582 hearts; ~4,7% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1064

I was so proud of these when I made them. Those were my first mesh defaults ever! Today, I'm proud of my past self for doing them. That's crazy many meshes and subsets to handle for a total noob.

I couldn't do anything with BHAVs back then, so those defaults would've never ever happened without @midgethetree. She endured a lot, working with a noob who went through several meltdowns because of subset issues that didn't make any sense.

4) Baby personality mod (February 2020)

9724 downloads (489 hearts; ~5% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1193

The first mod on the list! Absolutely essential one for myself and apparently for some others too.

Also the actual first mod of my own ever. I can't really recommend starting with something this complicated, I had zero ability to perceive the scope of the mod when I asked if @midgethetree was willing to help me through it. She deserves all the praise for doing it, I've realized later that I couldn't ever teach anyone the way she taught me. So, if you read this: thank you, Midge.

5) Rabbit pen default (August 2022)

9628 downloads (442 hearts; ~4,6% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1305

This was completely @deedee-sims' idea and project! I just hopped in (hah) to help. I'm only hosting it for practicality, as the BHAVs most often need updating, and those are by me.

6) Turn On/Off replacements (July 2021)

8644 downloads (388 hearts; ~4,5% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1470

This post has more notes than any other post of mine, yet it's not even nearly the most downloaded thing I've done. The two don't always go hand in hand.

I've also shared an updated version of these lately in a new post. It's unlikely they'll get the same amount of attention, which on paper doesn't make much sense since it's practically the same thing but done better. But I'm sure everyone knows that the hype and the quality don't always match.

7) Pixelry’s KKB fridge recolors (February 2022)

8147 downloads (329 hearts; ~4% of all downloaders) Post notes: 662

This is such an oddity on this list since it's the only recolor set and the post has fewer notes than the other ones, too. People just (secretly) really like cute fridges, apparently.

8) Crib teeth anim fix (August 2022)

6157 downloads (431 hearts; ~7% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1408

This list is already long enough, but I wanted to show how fast the number starts dropping at this point.

This got posted a day before the bunnies, and I find it funny to think that for about 3000 people it's more pressing to have bunnies in their game than fixing their toddlers dropping teeth while crying lol.

No point in continuing the list forever, but among my most note-gaining Tumblr posts are also:

Puppy/kitten want replacements (October 2022, 1114 notes, 3849 downloads)

Improved biotech station (July 2022, 1110 notes, 3893 downloads)

Camera overhaul mod (January 2024, 1059 notes, 1752 downloads)

Newspaper default (March 2022, 970 notes, 5052 downloads)

While I don't have a real conclusion to offer, it's clear that notes don't always get realized to downloads, and likewise many people download without interacting with posts.

One more thing I'd like to point out is that the percentage of people who hit that SFS heart button seems pretty constant. I feel like it shows that some people just have that habit and some don't, and it's not likely directly related to how much they like the thing.

The amount of SFS hearts that crib teeth anim fix has gotten doesn't follow this pattern lol. It's really not common to see the percentage change even that much.

[rom-e-o]

Bess and Connie coming to realize how much they apologize for insignificant things that are hardly infractions or things they have no reason to apologize over by calling each other out whenever they do it. Bess apologizes for one thing one day and Connie tells her it's not necessary. The next time Connie apologizes for the same thing and Bess points out when she did the same thing, Connie said it wasn't an issue and now Connie is apologizing for the same thing that's still not an issue. Slowly that conditioning comes to light.

Oof, that's a big, but inevitable, realization. They've been programmed by family/their 'love' interests to see themselves as inferior, and as a result, apologize for every tiny thing.

They never notice it, until they meet each other - another woman that does the EXACT same thing. Then, all of a sudden, I imagine it jumps out a little bit more.

Like, Bess drops a glass of water from the kitchen counter, and is like, "Ugh, that was dumb of me! Sorry. I'll clean this up, right away."

And Connie just glances up from her book in confusion as she sees Bess rush to mop up the mess.

And it works in reverse as well. Like, Connie forgets to take the trash out one morning, and the color just drains. "I-I'm so sorry! It won't happen again. I promise."

Of course, Bess is like, "Whoa, you're fine! No need to apologize. I'm not mad." After all, why would such a simple mistake make anyone angry?

Then it clicks mutually. They realize why the other is apologizing, even for the smallest little things. So, the sisters they are, they watch out for it from then on out and make sure to always catch the other.

So, next time Bess spills the ashes in the fireplace or Connie accidentally busts an ink pen (too much chewing on the end, missy), just as the other it about to apologize, the other swoops in.

Bess: Ugh, I'm sorry, I try to do something good, but I'm always such a-

Connie: Hey, now. You're the one doing the chore - a chore we all hate doing, haha. I should be thanking you doing it. ... Thank you, Bess. You don't have to apologize for anything like that anymore, you know. <3

OR

Connie: Ugh, I'm so sorry, I need to clean this up. Oh no, I hope it doesn't stain! If it does-

Bess: That's what the cleaning rags are for. It's fine, Connie. Trust me. This is nothing compared to some of the messes I've had to clean in L&D, and most of the people definitely weren't as nice as you were about it. So there's no need to apologize, yeah? <3

Slowly, over time, the apologies dwindle and dwindle for those insignificant things/mistakes.

[actuallyadhd]

hi, sorry in advance if this isn't the kind of thing you are open to getting in your inbox, but i just don't know what to do with my feelings. i really hate my adhd. i spent my youth cruising through school and high achiever programs, being told i was going places, and nowadays i am nothing short of completely useless. i'm early in diagnosis to where i'm just starting with medication (15mg of ritalin twice a day at this stage) and haven't effects yet. it's already clear that the dose i'm going to need will be embarrassingly high.

ever since i told my friends, it's obvious that the diagnosis came out of left field for them and that they see me differently. i keep catching them giving me sympathetic looks after zoning out, fiddling with something, or presenting some other stereotypical symptom. i tried mentioning to them how i'm not getting results out of meds yet as a means of whinging since it is making me anxious and a little impatient, and their response was completely uninformed medical advice about how i should be taking them. they're also all talking about how they all probably have adhd too since we 'tend to glom together'. they're all straight-A students with no symptoms or functional issues, so i find this a little condescending. i might be imagining how they've starting talking down to me/talking slower. the diagnosis made me feel stupid enough without them acting like this, and now i just feel like a human joke.

i don't really know what the point of what i'm writing is anymore, but i'm struggling to get any assignments in, failing all my tests, my friends treat me different, my parents are unabashedly disappointed, the meds are taking too long to work, i'm lazy, dysfunctional, getting dumber every day, and my head is too fucking loud to keep living in.

i'm sick of how trying to have a thought feels like being a sentient pile of spaghetti wading through tar, and of not being able to read if my brain decides a particular paragraph is not to its liking, of not remembering anything, of struggling and not even being able to remember and articulate what with, and all the other bullshit. i probably just have to wait this out while we figure out meds, but i'm sorry for using this inbox to vent because i think that's what i'm doing as i can't really go to my friends. feel absolutely no pressure to respond, i might have just needed to wright this down and see it sent off somewhere. any advice is welcome if you have it though, lol.

Sent August 16, 2024

Oof, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. There's a lot here, so I'm going to try and go through it a bit at a time and tackle everything as I go.

First, this is absolutely the kind of thing I'm here to try and help with. No worries at all on that.

Second, this is a long one, so I'm putting in a cut.

I understand hating your ADHD. You feel how you feel, and that's okay. Reaching out for help is a fantastic way to deal with those emotions.

It sounds like you were a gifted student, and now that you have less of a schedule being imposed on you, you're struggling. That is totally normal, but it also sucks a lot.

You aren't "achieving your potential" or meeting expectations, and at this point they aren't just others' expectations, they're your own. I spent several months working through this issue years ago, and it still comes up for me regularly! The friend who walked me through it was incredibly patient with me, and their job in this case seemed to mainly consist of "why do you think you need to do this thing?" and then just continually asking why until we got to the bottom of it all.

Once you know what's at the base of the expectations, you're in a way better position to decide whether they're expectations you want to try to meet.

One of the good things about getting diagnosed is that it gives you information. Now you know why things are hard, and you can start looking for solutions that will actually work with your brain. You may find some of those solutions here, and you can always ask for help with specific issues.

Now, it's possible that Ritalin/methylphenidate isn't the right medication for you. It is also possible that the dose is too low; I don't know a lot about doses for Ritalin (I was initially put on Concerta but it was Very Bad so we switched to Dexedrine/amphetamine) but I used to know someone who took 150mg Ritalin every day, so that's a thing.

As for your friends, talk to them about how they're acting. Tell them that you don't appreciate the jokes or the different treatment. Explain that ADHD has been there all along, it just wasn't discovered earlier because your giftedness hid it. You are not a different person.

Having ADHD doesn't make you stupid. We've already established that you're gifted. I know what that's like; I was this flavour of twice-exceptional, too, and I was 28 with my ADHD was finally diagnosed. I know that doesn't help how you feel right now, but it is true.

For your school stuff, talk to your instructors about getting extensions so you can try to get caught up. Go to your school's disability services office and talk to them about what you can access in terms of accommodations. Set yourself a schedule for studying and working on assignments that you stick to no matter what.

I'm not sure why your parents are disappointed. If it's your school performance, I get it. Showing them that you're doing your best will help a lot with that. If it's the ADHD itself, that's not your fault. ADHD is hugely genetic, so it's just a thing that happens and probably you have relatives who also have ADHD, or at least people who would probably qualify for a diagnosis.

Medication can take a while to figure out, and it can be difficult to deal with waiting while you get the right medication and the right dose. At the same time, you may not notice a difference right away; so much depends on the person and the medication.

Now, you are not lazy or getting "dumber" every day. You have ADHD, which means you have executive dysfunction. That is hard because the world is not set up for people like us, so when we struggle we compare ourselves to other people and that's never a good idea.

I have a suggestion for helping you feel better about yourself, and then I have some resources for you to look at.

Start a scrapbook that's just about good things about you. Make a page for things you're interested in (or a page per interest). Do something about your favourite colour, things you have done for other people, etc. The idea is that then you can look at this book and remind yourself of the good things about who you are as a person.

As for resources, here are a couple of posts over on the main Actually ADHD site that might help with some of what you're struggling with. Most of the posts there include printables, so do have a look and see if those might help you at all.

Followers, do you have any other suggestions for this anon?

-J

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

So...

Snake Discovery accidentally bred spider morph balls.

It was seriously by accident, to make it all clear- Emily was high on pain meds and accidentally put SD's banana spider in to pair with their pastel instead of the banana (both are program animals and both were out for programs at the time), and he was only in there for an hour before someone noticed the switch-up and got the spider out of there.

However... Two of the ten babies from that clutch wound up being spiders. What would you recommend they do with those babies? They are fully aware of the neurological issues.

Oof, that is rough. I'm glad to hear it was at least an accident and they know the issues that spiders have.

In this case, I'd recommend they give the spiders to people they know in the reptile community who both have knowledge of the spider wobble issue and experience making adaptations for spiders with moderate-severe wobbles (since it's impossible to know how severe an individual's wobble will be throughout their life, so it's best to plan for a pet with a severe disability).

I think it's unethical to sell spider complex snakes at all, and I wouldn't feel morally right even giving the snake away to someone who I wasn't 100% certain knew how bad a wobble can get and how to make adaptations for it (and when to make the difficult call to humanely euthanize if the wobble gets bad enough).

Not a fun situation at all. I don't even use spider morphs in programs; I've had rescue spiders before who might have made excellent ambassadors, but I don't want to risk anyone seeing a beautiful ambassador spider and deciding they want one who looks like them.