#dude honestly this whole thing is just hilarious at this point

[justalittlebluetiefling]

I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.

[lacrimosathedark]

Bat-Family Nicknames and Insults

So I went off the other day because fans keep having people who aren't Roy Harper call Jason Todd "Jaybird" and now I'm thinking about all the other nickname misconceptions so here's a probably non-comprehensive list of nicknames among the Bat Fam.

(Special thanks to @sohotthateveryonedied for a bunch of my data, she made a whole powerpoint with actual comic panels! Go check that out! Also got some info from @kiragecko who was writing some lists with more specific references.)

This list is an active document and will be edited in the event I find more nicknames or have more to say

Addendum note: I'm more than willing to add something I forgot, but you must have receipts. I'm not just going off of memory. Nothing will be added to this list without proof. If you don't have a source, please don't make a suggestion.

This is aside from assorted common insults and nicknames like jerk, ass, shorty, dude, idiot, etc.. Sidenote, every not-Steph Robin has been called “Little Bird”, “Birdboy” and/or “Wonder Boy” at some point. It’s kinda part of the job lol Secondary side-note, the only ones who REALLY use nicknames for people are Barbara and Jason. And Tim specifically in reference to Damian. Everyone else pretty much uses their names 98% of the time. Final note (sorryyyyyy) generally unless they're funny to me, I'm not including things used only once unless I have gotten vibes that it's a trend. This is an attempt to compile recurring nicknames. So ones noted to be used once are either I can only confirm it happened once but could happen multiple times, or I think it's hilarious.

Alfred Pennyworth

Al/Alf Seems to be a common nickname among the boys.

Alfie Dick, Tim, and Jason have all called him this.

Alfredo Jason called him this at least once and I think that’s funny. Not sure it’s exclusive though.

Mom Dick seems to have referred to him as such once…I’m sorry but that’s so funny.

Alfred also has specific ways of referring to everyone: Bruce: Master Bruce, Mister Wayne, Lad, Bruce, My Son Barbara: Mistress Barbara, Miss Barbara, Miss Gordon, Miss Oracle Dick: Master Dick, Master Richard, Master Grayson, Dear Boy, Young Sir, Young Man, Richard, Dick Cassandra: Miss Cassandra, Young Cassandra, My Dear Jason: Master Jason, Young Sir, Lad, Jason Tim: Master Tim, Master Timothy, Young Master Tim, Lad, Young Sir, Young Man, Timothy, Tim Damian: Master Damian, Young Master Damian, Young Sir, Young Man, Son, Damian

Bruce Wayne

Spooky Oliver Queen calls him this, others might as well but I legitimately have no idea.

Batsy Everyone and their goddamn dog, but Joker uses this notably a lot.

Detective RA'S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I think? But this is how Ra's generally refers to Bruce.

B-Man HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE...I think. She calls him this a lot though.

While Dick and Jason will internally think of Bruce as their father, Dick rarely says so and extremely rarely calls him “Dad”. Jason would only say so mockingly or under pain of a second death. Tim rarely even thinks of Bruce as his father (he didn’t become Robin to be Bruce’s kid, and he doesn’t want to replace his own father—much the same way Dana didn’t replace Janet) and never refers to him as such outside of WE work (where he very much uses that to his advantage). Damian almost exclusively refers to Bruce as “Father” but has called him "Dad". Steph sometimes calls him “Boss”. Everyone usually calls him "Bruce".

He refers to ALL of the boys as “chum” and “lad” at some point. It’s just how he used to talk honestly. He DOES NOT call them “sweetie” or “honey” or anything like that. He DOES, however, speak to small children this way. There are multiple instances of him using "sweetheart" and similar terms when dealing with young children. This differentiation I think is for two reasons. One, Bruce is emotionally stunted and being open with anyone outside of actively comforting is difficult for him, and two, the youngest child he has ever had himself was 9 years old so he's never had a small child he'd be likely more inclined to be extra super soft with.

Barbara Gordon

Babs Most people call her this. Bruce doesn’t seem to though, oddly enough.

Babsy/Babsie Both Dick and Jim Gordon have called her this. Very cute.

Barb/Barbie Nearly exclusive to Jason Todd, actually. I think her dad calls her this once in a while, but specifically Jason calls her this.

Babes A few of her friends call her this, but mostly Luke Fox when they were dating.

Red A few people call her this, but mostly Jason and not real often. Probably cuz we already have a red-head often referred to as “Red” (Pam Isely by Harley) and as to not be confused with the other two Reds in the family (Red Hood and Red Robin).

The High Priestess of Tech More of a reference than a nickname, but I think it’s funny. Dick referred to her as such.

O For Oracle!

Dick Grayson Exclusives because Boyfriend Baby Love Beautiful

Richard Grayson

Dick Everyone calls him this. Almost no one calls him Richard.

Dickie His parents also called him this, along with other people who knew him from Haly’s Circus, but otherwise it’s mostly just Jason.

Dickster I…hate that this is canon lmao. Dick has thought this one in his inner monologue, but Jason has also said it at least once. It’s…Something.

Circus Boy Common insult, Jason uses it a few times.

Tight Ass No comment.

Rob Kinda rare for him and more a Tim thing, but his Titans team call him this sometimes. I specifically remember Wally doing so, and Roy too I think.

Boy Wonderful Not marking this as exclusive because Babs probably used it at one point but, shockingly (or not) this comes from Wally West! Wally has also called his Titans team as a group “Dear Hearts” at least once which is just so fucking cute. Neeeeeerd.

Kid Not exclusive to him, but consistently called this by Slade Wilson/Deathstroke over most anything else.

Marcia TIM DRAKE EXCLUSIVE. A joke between him and Tim, assigning each Bat-boy a Brady Bunch member.

Little Robin MARY GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. This is where the hero name Robin came from; Dick’s mom used to call him this.

Dickie-Bird JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Jason calls Dick this a lot during his weird appearances in Nightwing that I pretend never happened because it was weird and dumb. But it is a canonical nickname. And it’s funny.

Amy Rohrbach Exclusives because Partner Rookie Stud Cowboy Sherlock Mr. Confident

Barbara Gordon Exclusives because Girlfriend (and because she’s funny) Flatterer Boyfriend The Brightest, Sweetest, Most Handsome, Wealthiest Young Bachelor on the Entire East Coast Buckaroo Bucko Candy-Gram Darling Lover Love Hunk Wonder Man Wonder Hound Wonder Former Teen Wonder Twenty Something Wonder Blue Wonder Poor Lovable Naïve Dope Pixie Boots

Cassandra Cain

Cass Pretty much everyone calls her this.

Cassie Some people call her this, specifically the people closest to her; Stephanie, Tim, Barbara, Bruce, and Duke. It’s generally used sparingly, especially considering Tim is close to ANOTHER Cassandra who goes by “Cassie” almost exclusively, so Cass is generally preferred to avoid confusion. But Cassie is tossed around.

Batghoul Possibly Stephanie Brown exclusive, though easy enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if others called her that. She is notoriously spooky.

Bat-Babe KON-EL/CONNER KENT EXCLUSIVE. These two are actually good friends and dated for a short time. They’re very cute. And they met at the time Kon was just…Like That.

Jason Todd

Jay Literally everyone calls him this sometimes. It’s a common nickname.

Jace/Jase Also pretty common, but seems to mostly be among family. Dick and Bruce have at least both called him this.

The Toddster Was called such by Danny Chase, implying they were friends somehow? (Jason didn't have many Titans missions so idk how they were close enough for him to call him that). He calls him that when he discovers Jason’s status in the system is “unknown”, leading him to find out he’s dead.

Rojo Referred to himself as this once while he was still a crime boss, so presumably some of his gang called him this too. Obviously Spanish for red because Red Hood.

Little Bird Possibly exclusive to Barbara Gordon, she called him this in a flashback.

Jan That Dick and Tim Brady Bunch joke. Just imagine one of them looking Jason dead in the eye and saying “Sure, Jan.”

Little Wing DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. Called Robin Jason this in Nightwing Year 1 and it’s very cute.

Jaybird ROY HARPER EXCLUSIVE. The reason I’m making this post because no one seems to remember that Roy and only Roy has ever called Jason this. But any time these two appear together, it’s usually said at least once.

Stephanie Brown

Steph Pretty much everyone calls her this at one point.

Stephie A few people if I recall, but I know Tim’s called her that.

Blondie Pretty sure a few people call her this, but notably Harper Row.

Damian Wayne Exclusives because He Was A Brat Wench Fatgirl Girl Blunder

Timothy Drake

Tim Everyone to the point where it’s just his name.

Timmy A lot of people call him this pretty teasingly. Dick, Jason, and Babs do it consistently, but that’s older siblings for ya. Bernard has done it too.

Timbo Dick and Jason as well as his friend Ives have called Tim this at the very least. Tim notably doesn't seem to like it, though he has used it himself in a derogatory way in his inner monologue.

Timbers I’ve only ever seen Jason call him this, but I could be missing things. Would not be surprised if Dick did too, but it’s very Jason.

Rob Most of Young Justice called him that up until he revealed his name (which took a while because Bruce was being controlling and overprotective, as he does). Short for “Robin”, obviously, which is all they knew him as.

My Robin I’m pretty sure each member of Young Justice has said this about Tim, though Conner does it the most and has the biggest negative reaction to literally anyone but Tim being Robin.

Cindy DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. It’s that Brady Bunch joke again!

Little Brother DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. I didn't originally include it because it had the same vibes as like "dude" or "jerk"; something that's easily tossed around, y'know? And it feels like a descriptor, but it is actually used as a title/nickname several times, especially when Dick is messing with Tim.

Pretender JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Though it should be noted, he only directly called him this one time. Aside from that, he more refers to Tim as A pretender, not as like a nickname or title. It’s a description. (like “replacement” was but fandom made that a nickname yes I am in fact bitter)

Duckboy HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE. She says this once, but it’s hilarious so I’m keeping it.

Detective RA’S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. Ra’s is very particular about titles. The only other person he refers to as “Detective” is Bruce, and Dick one time in his internal monologue, so he is acknowledging Tim’s competence. And then proceeds to get a large portion of his resources obliterated by Tim <3

Stephanie Brown Exclusives because Girlfriend Sweetie Muffin Boy Virgin

Duke Thomas

Narrows Almost Jason exclusively, though I think Harper has called him this once or twice. In reference to the neighborhood he grew up in, as opposed to Jason and Harper's Park Row aka Crime Alley upbringing.

Newbie Jason calls him this frequently, though it's likely the others have too.

Baby Bird ELAINE THOMAS EXCLUSIVE. Yeah, surprisingly Duke is actually called this by his mom.

Damian Wayne

Gremlin Mostly exclusive to Tim, but Jason has called him this too. This also seems to be Tim’s go-to for Damian when not using his name or codename.

Dami Used by Jon Kent and Talia al Ghul, so presumably those closest to him.

Little D I think Barbara Gordon exclusive but I’m not sure.

Cousin Oliver Not said to his face to my knowledge, but the Brady Bunch in-joke between Dick and Tim.

Prince/Your Highness (other royal variations) A common way to mock Damian for his haughty air and stuck-up attitude. More common in the past because Damian was The Worst and never shut up about being the heir to Batman and the Demon's Head. He's grown a lot since then and this kind of joke is used less. He is still pretty snooty though.

D JON KENT EXCLUSIVE. I have yet to see anyone else call him this at least, and this is how Jon almost always refers to him.

Baby Bird TALIA AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I’ve seen her call him this once, and I don’t recall ever seeing anyone else call him this. Just wanted it known that Talia is the only one to call Damian this.

Tim Drake Exclusives because Tim is Petty and Damian was a Brat Little Monster Hobbit Homunculus Little snot Spoiled, vicious and homicidal little punk Heir to the Kingdom of the Damned

Note on how Damian refers to others: Damian usually uses full first names or surnames, depending on circumstance and closeness. He occasionally calls Dick “Dick” or “Richard”, but often calls him “Grayson”. He almost always refers to Tim as “Drake”, but occasionally as “Timothy”.

Fanon names that I dislike

Replacement Jason never once calls Tim this, and refers to Tim as A replacement about as much as Dick did about Jason (Yes Dick has at least once when talking to Bruce referred to Jason as his replacement). How common it is in this fandom to call Tim "Replacement" (with a capital R like it's a name or title!!!) drives me absolutely insane. It's not canon and tbh you can do better. Hell, "pretender" is right there! And Jason's a nerd, he would do better.

Baby Bird Like…it’s cute, but given it’s used in fanon almost exclusively for Tim, and POST DAMIAN, it just feels infantalizing. Especially when the only canon uses are mothers towards their kids. I see this a lot with Dick and Jason using it, which is...just no. Like, Dick, I get it, but he's more likely to call Tim "Little Brother". Jason would never allow himself to be seen as this soft to Tim. If he were trying to be gentle with him, he'd probably call him "kid". He's done that before.

Baby Bat(s) I have seen this used literally twice. Once where a goon mockingly called Tim that, and once in an AU where Harley said it to Damian. "Baby Bat" isn't a thing. Sorry.

Big Bird More amusing than anything but a little annoying. No one ever calls Dick that in canon and whenever I read it all I can think of is Sesame Street so unless a giant yellow muppet bird is what you're going for, maybe don't do that lol

Demon Brat/Demon Spawn Not the most egregious thing, especially considering the numerous nicknames Tim comes up with, but the consistency of its usage in fanon is a little frustrating. This is never used in-canon, and if you want to use it in your fanworks, just maybe intersperse it with other more creative nicknames, yeah? It's just unoriginal at this point.

Jaylad I don’t hate this one, but it’s such a huge misconception that it’s canon. Bruce has said “Jay, lad” a couple times because he calls like every boy he meets “lad” and people made up “Jaylad”. Not the worst thing ever, but it's not canon.

Golden Boy I don't actually have a problem with this one, but I may as well clear up that this is canon as a descriptor but not as a nickname for Dick. Like calling Jason "the dead Robin". Like, people have said that about him in-canon, but they haven't called him that. The common derivative "Goldie" is entirely fanon.

Non-canon nicknames I think are funny

Dick-face/Dickhead I’m sorry, I find it hilarious whenever someone (usually Jason) in fanfic calls him this. It’s also to me just a silly exaggeration of the obvious joke that has been made at least once (but probably several times by now) in canon about someone being about to call Nightwing a dick and someone else reminding them not to use names in the field. I think it’s hilarious.

Timberly I can’t tell you why this specific deviation of Tim is funny to me but it is. And I'm surprised I haven't seen Jason call Tim this in canon.

[zeevawyte]

Ok so, this is so far outside my usual stuff it’s insane, but this literally won't leave my brain and I don't know if I have time to write it so-

RadioApple fic idea under the cut:

TW: blood, mentions of cannibalism (it's Alastor, duh), semi-unsafe dom/sub (no actual sex), sub drops

Starts out your normal "stop interfering with my relationship with my daughter & you can have a snack whenever you want" kinda deal, with Alastor taking full advantage of the fact that he's got the most powerful being in hell at his mercy. Dude has a serious power trip the first time, & between that and the taste is hooked immediately.

And of course Luci isn't exactly complaining. Other than the occasional jumpscare via shadow, it hasn't been too bad. Kind of enjoyable actually, not that he'd ever admit that to the demon's face. And it's not like he hasn't been tied up or held down before either.

But then during one of their ‘meetings’ he ends up going into sub space on accident… and it keeps happening.

This wouldn't be a problem except Alastor (for obvious reasons) has literally zero information/knowledge about that sort of thing. And, being the dramatic asshole that he is, enjoys getting the last word and leaving without a backwards glance. Which means he's not there when Luci drops.

Hard.

But it's fine! He's fine! He's the King of Hell, he doesn't need some sinner to help him deal with the consequences of an arrangement he proposed in the first place. He's totally fine on his own.

Except he's not.

He is very much not fine, and it starts to show. It gets so bad that one day Charlie actually asks him if he’s ok mid-conversation.

Enter Angel Dust.

Now, by this point Angel’s like 98% sure the two powerhouses are going at it. Alastor has been in a good mood for months now (coinciding suspiciously with the two of them not being at each other’s throats all the time - at least in public) & he’s seen Luci coming out of a room straightening his coat and hat on one of the upper floors. Not to mention the down-right flirty undertones to any barbs they shoot back and forth.

Husk agrees that something is going on but heavily doubts it’s what Angel thinks.

Determined to prove that he’s right, Angel starts wandering the upper floors or heading up just as Alastor heads down (subtly, he’s not an idiot). Anyway, he’s up there one day being nosy when he hears a crash from one of the rooms. He goes in only to find Lucifer on the floor, having tripped over a side table and knocked over a lamp, disheveled and absolutely shaking.

He recognizes what’s happening almost immediately (fuck you very much Val) and gathers the little king up onto the couch, helping him calm down until he doesn’t look like he’s going to either spontaneously start sobbing or throw up on the rug.

Luci is understandably embarrassed and tries to offer him a favor for his help, but Angel waves him off saying he’s been there & that Luci doesn’t owe him anything.

The next day when Lucifer is off doing something else, Angel grabs Alastor and all but drags him into a side room.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you and short king, and frankly it’s none’a my business-”

“No, it isn’t. And if that really is all you wanted to speak with me about-”

“Shut up! I’m not jokin’ alright? I’m bein’ 100% serious. You’re fucking up big time, and I’m pretty sure you don’t even know it. So if you don’t want this whole thing to end in a big fuckin’ mess you need to listen to me.”

Cue a hilariously awkward conversation where an unusually serious Angel explains dom/sub dynamics and the effects/consequences therein to an incredibly-uncomfortable-but-desperately-not-showing-it Alastor.

It ends with something along the lines of

"And look, I don't know if you actually care about the guy or if it’s just about gettin’ your kicks, but honestly? It doesn't matter. You've got your whole gentleman thing right? Openin' doors for the ladies and shit?" *pokes him in the chest* "Well as a gentleman, you've dropped the fuckin' ball. Only self-centered dicks leave their sub to drop alone."

Now if there’s one thing Alastor will not abide, it’s a loss of manners. Being told he’s been unknowingly committing a social faux pas gets under his skin immediately. It itches at him. To the point that his smile almost slips. More than once.

He needs to fix it. As soon as possible.

He’s visibly twitchy the rest of the day.

Husk corners Angel to ask what the hell he said to Al, but only gets a vague, noncommittal answer about letting him know about some information he was missing.

And the next time he and Lucifer have a ‘meeting,’ Alastor stays.

[solar-wing]

⚣ Therapist BatBro 👓

⚣👓 A/N → Therpist BatBro makes his debut. The second pic is honestly what I feel a therapy session in the Wayne family would look like. This is from another request I got from my previous account.

⚣👓 Summary → Your family isn't pleased with your new hobby or group of friends. But, somehow you've made it a business. Gotta respect the hustle at least.

⚣👓 Words → 2.3k

REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 👓

⚣ ENJOY 👓

The way I see it, you're either a vigilante with the fam and all the villains just seem to like you for some reason and ask where you are during a battle OR you're not a vigilante and you volunteer at Arkham (which would be absolutely insane but it's Arkham so it breaks even) and everyone there is cool with you. Even the Joker (which won't fly well with Jason at all).

We're going to go with the second option for this one.

So, since Bruce was adamant about you not joining the family business as a vigilante since you were the youngest and he had an unyielding urge to protect you and your childhood innocence, you needed to find something to do in your free time.

What better than to volunteer at a crazy house for psychopathic murdering villains?

Of course, considering Arkham was filled mainly with criminals your father had put there along with your siblings, it probably wouldn’t be wise to do that since they’d obviously wouldn’t approve.

SO, you did it anyway and just didn't tell them.

BatBro contemplating...

Duke was the first to find out. Batman had supplies Arkham needed but since he was at work and Duke always took the day shift as everyone liked to joke, who better to drop it off than him? Imagine his surprise when he finds his baby bro in there serving ice cream to Mr. Freeze.

"Here ya go Fries, my man. I sprinkled some ice shavings on there to make it a little tangier for you..." You said handing him the cone.

"Ha ha ha, aren't you hilarious." Victor Fries replied with a genuine smile. As far as The Signal persona knew, he was only capable of smirking or mean-mugging the shit of people, with the exception of an occasional shivering face while mocking someone for how cold they were.

'Oh, they're not gonna believe this...' Duke thought, racing home right after. The way he left the institution, the guards almost thought there was a breakout or a fight going on. Nope, but there might be when he told everyone.

Of course, no one believed him at first, just staring at the dude as if he just said the craziest thing in the world like Bruce being an emotionally available parent.

When you came home that night acting cagey and weirder than normal, they figured something was going on and maybe you were at Arkham but for something completely different than what Duke thought it could be. Because, there would be no way Bruce Wayne’s, aka Batman, own son would ever even consider fraternizing with criminals, let alone his enemies. Right?

So, like any other sane, normal family who responded to distressing situations with maturity and rationality... they spied on you.

Damian, Tim, & Cass followed you the next day. Tim was understandably distraught but also curious how you could have managed to form a friendship with Gotham's criminally insane.

Like...THEY WERE INSANE. But, when he really thought about it, considering the family you came from...yeah, okay. He can see the correlation now.

Damian, however, refused to believe his little brother could be so stupid and dense. How could you form relations with the enemy like that? It was stupidity. Plain idiocy at its finest. It was betrayal!

On the other hand, it was a smart move looking from an assassin's point of view. You know the whole keep your friends close and enemies closer deal, but that was his thing. Not yours! So you'd be getting extra noogies and brotherly beatdowns when you got home. In the name of camaraderie and righting your careless decisions.

Cass thought it was fucking hilarious.

Upon their arrival and finding you trading riddle jokes with Riddler, their jaws all collectively dropped to the floor.

"Okay, okay okay..." You breathed, calming down from your wheezing laughter. "Riddle me this...I'm neither a man nor a woman but don't hurt my wittle feelings cause I'm still a person. I'll kick you and scream at you, even both during a tantrum. My ego's bigger than my head but shorter than my height, who am I?"

Riddler took a moment to think about it before the metaphorical lightbulb appeared above his head, "Boy Wonder!" He pointed.

"Which one?" You immediately responded.

"The fourth one!"

"Yes!"

Tim and Cass both had to think about it before they realized the clues in the riddle. They're eyes went wide when they realized who you were talking about, and turned to see Damian who looked ready to tear your head off with his teeth.

"He's in for it when he gets home..." He growled through his grinding teeth.

Damian pissed (Left) | Tim & Cass (Right)

Everyone was mildly concerned when they came home that night and asked them how everything went only for Damian's immediate response to be that he was going to get his revenge sketchbook.

Why Damian has a revenge sketchbook, no one knows. But, everyone was just the right amount unsettled by it.

That night at dinner there was a bit of a tense air as Damian had to be placed between both Bruce and Jason to keep him from lunging at you with his salad fork. Usually, you were used to Damian’s somewhat murderous tantrums, but this was on another level.

He almost looked like he would grow horns out of his head at any moment, which would actually be somewhat fitting. Considering he was the grandson of the Demon and all.

You also noticed how Tim and Cass kept weirdly staring at you. Neither of them said something, which was odd(well except maybe for Cass), but you just ignored it and ate your dinner.

That night, you put some of your old booby traps from when you first moved into the manor back into place. You needed some sort of reassurance and protection to help you sleep. At many points throughout the night, you shot out of bed and grabbed one of the many random weapons you had hidden around you when you thought you heard someone trying to sneak into your room.

Damian definitely tried but had learned his lesson after the last time he got caught in one of your traps. You took a lot of inspiration from movies like Home Alone and The Parent Trap.

The next day, Dick and Steph went to check out the mental institution insane asylum.

Steph also thought it was funny like Cass but in a more ironic type of way. She’d rooted for you to get your own vigilante identity and join the family business. So this was like the ultimate petty revenge and she was here for it.

But Dick just couldn't imagine you in a place like this. His sweet adorable baby brother, in this horrid mess? He was calling it, either blackmail or manipulation. A rude awakening was awaiting him around the corner.

They looked to see you in the middle of practicing a handshake with Bane.

"No Bane, fist bump, then the arm wiggle..." You said, showing him the move for the 4th time.

"Oh sorry buddy," He replied.

"No problem man, let's try again."

They watched you go through the whole routine, Steph taking a video on her phone while Dick looked in surprise and jealousy. How come you and him didn't have a handshake like that? Every little brother should want to have a cool handshake with their cool big brother! Was he not good enough?!

Steph laughing in petty (Left) | Dick breaking down (Right)

When Dick stormed into the manor later muttering about showing you a real handshake, Bruce only raised an eyebrow when Steph walked in looking thoroughly entertained like she just watched the funniest show of her life. It certainly felt like it.

That afternoon, Dick gave you the cold shoulder all day. He even canceled your weekly brother movie night, which shocked everyone, especially your dad. What could have been so bad that would cause Bruce’s first protege to treat his kid brother like this? The same kid who he’d absolutely lose it if they went to anyone other than him for advice or would pout if he didn’t get the first hug from him when in a room full of people.

Of course, he still cracked when you gave him the hurt puppy dog eyes (a trick you learned from Jason that he used to use on Bruce all the time when he was younger). Dick caved and you guys ended up watching a movie, though you were mildly concerned whenever your oldest brother paused the movie and took the time to highlight the friendship and connection between two characters, especially if they were siblings.

Something like a special code, an inside joke, or even maybe a HANDSHAKE. What does it say about a big brother if his little brother doesn’t want to have a cool special handshake with him?!

Subtle.

You just nodded along, making a mental note to avoid any family-oriented films for your next movie night.

But, after this incident, you’d fully managed to get Bruce’s attention. He knew that Dick out of all his children was usually the least likely to get irate over something that wasn’t serious. So the fact that he did, despite how unserious it may have seemed, but it was settled.

Something was going on and your dad, no…Batman was going to get to the bottom of it.

Jason decided to come along with your father, fully prepared to drag you out of the building by force if he had to. He even went as far as calling your boyfriend Conner Kent, aka Superboy, who he and Bruce had a love/hate relationship with because they couldn't really threaten the boy like they wanted to if he hurt you.

Well, Jason couldn’t at least.

Bruce had more than enough kryptonite in multiple storages across his warehouse and had no problem showing it to the half-Kryptonian as a warning.

Conner was more than a little peeved, try fucking pissed when he heard you'd been hanging out with supervillains. And he as well was ready to sling you over his shoulder if he had to. But, probably not in front of your dad who kept throwing pointed glares his way as they moved through the building.

When Batman showed up demanding to see where the volunteer by your name was, they quickly rushed to show him to your location. He couldn't fathom this. The mere thought that his youngest child, his sweet, innocent (on a good day) good-natured son, would be hanging around all his enemies, laughing with them like they were good ol pals?

He'd sooner believe Joker was going to therapy.

The shock of his lifetime was also waiting for him around the corner.

They came around to see you through a window sitting in an office room in business casual attire, holding a clipboard and writing down notes while Joker was laying on a couch with his cuffed hands resting on his chest, venting out his emotions.

"And sometimes, I do feel like I go a bit far. But, I can't take all the blame. I mean, everyone paints me as the villain, but Batsy plays into our little game just as much as I do. Why does he get painted as the hero and me as a crazy clown? Well, you know, besides the clown face, HAHAHA!" He vented, ending with his usual eerie cackle.

"Uh-huh, and how does that make you feel?" You asked while scribbling a few notes on your legal pad and adjusting the fake glasses on your face before turning around at the sound of the door opening.

You felt your heart drop in your stomach when you saw your father, brother, and boyfriend all staring at you with very unhappy looks.

"BATSY! Oh, do come in! We were just talking about you. I think it's about time you and I got some relationship counseling." Joker exclaimed.

Not one word was said while Conner grabbed you by your wrists, (gently of course because he's caring like that) and dragged you out of the room, Jason not too far behind, ready to tear you a new one. Batman held his shoulder, while Joker just watched in amusement, "Guess my hour's up."

You, Bruce, and Jason arguing (Left) | Joker enjoying the show (Right)

You were immediately brought home after getting an earful from Jason to which you offered him his own free session.

He agreed.

Bruce demands to know why you would even consider going there, socializing with those people.

"Well, seeing as how I can't join the family business, I figured I could do some good in some way. And villains or not, they've got good in them! Just you know, when they're not trying to murder people." You answered.

You were interrupted by your other siblings appearing before you felt an arm forcibly turn you around which Conner raised an annoyed eyebrow at, but he kept his mouth shut.

"What does Bane have that I don't? Am I not good enough as an older brother to have a handshake with?"

You sighed, "Is that why you were so upset the other day?! Ugh, would you like to create a special handshake with me, Dick?"

" Yes! Super secret too! You can't have any handshakes with anybody else!" He hugged you while you patted his back.

Brothers could be so needy sometimes.

You could see your boyfriend eyeing you both with the strangest look. In your defense, he had plenty of warning of how weird your family was.

Before things could calm down too much though, everyone heard a shrill voice screaming your name from the top of the staircase.

"Y/N!"

"Fuck..." You muttered under your breath, before turning to see Tim and Cass giving you nervous looks.

“You were there with Riddler, weren’t you?”

They could barely look you in the eye as you turned to see Damian standing on the banister, holding one of your slippers in his hand.

"Who's short now?!" 

Alfred went to get the first aid kit.

Damian with your slipper...

BONUS:

☀️ | Bat Family | ☀️

☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️

[raineydays411]

My Fathers Daughter pt8

The Dinner

summary: It's finally time for the dinner you've been dreading since your arrival, awesome. At least you get to know some of the bat family better than before

Also I forgot if I put the ages for these characters if I did and anyone could tell me that would be awesome.

When you first arrived to Gotham, you weren't really sure what to think.

Like yeah, you knew it was gonna suck cause you were moving in with the woman who deserted you and your father, causing you to grow up faster than you were meant to and giving you trust issues.

And sure, Gotham seems to have some sort of disaster literally every single day of the week.

But at this point, you really would rather chance it with the clown or whatever than sit through this awkward ass dinner.

"ahem"

Everyone eyes shoot to Bruce, who cleared his throat, breaking the awkward silence everyone was eating in.

"Y/n" He starts, causing you to groan internally. You were tired of being in the spotlight, especially when you knew half of this family doesn't fuck with you .

"I know I've said this before, but I know how hard sudden life changes like this are. If there's anything you need to be comfortable please let me know. This is your home now too."

You smile slightly, but before you could say anything Damian interrupts you

"Tch, father you say that as if she's a part of this family. We all know shes not."

"Damian, enough." Christine says sternly, " You've been difficult the whole day. Leave your sister alone."

"Oh please Mother, she's no blood of mine nor yours" he says absent minded

This was your chance.

"Well she actually pushed me out so..." You say taking a sip of your drink. You relished in the reactions from around the table

Jason snorted so hard his drink spilled

Dick looked disgusted and amused at the same time.

Tim looked disgusted but thats cause Jasons snort water managed to splash him from across the table. But the best reaction was from Damian and Cass. They just looked straight up angry.

Angry at the thought of their mother pushing you our of her cooch. Which was the most hilarious thing to you.

"How dare you speak about our mother like that? Have you no respect?"

"Dude, I'm gonna be honest I cannot take you seriously while you talk like an Asgardian. Get with the century Tiny Tim."

Another snort comes from Jason, " You know what kid, you're alright with me"

"I'm nineteen." You deadpan

"You look like you're twelve" Jason snarks

You pause for a bit before saying, "I'll tell you what you look like but you won't like it."

"Okay children, enough." Christine says, " Y/n, how do you like the room?"

"It's... very Addams family chic." You say, not really trying to be rude, " But if I'm being honest it's gonna take some getting used to."

"Well, you have free reign to decorate it anyway you'd like." Christine says, " In fact, we can make a day out of it!"

You physically have to stop yourself from cringing, " Um, yeah.. that sounds interesting, Or i can just order everything off amazon, no hassle."

" Oh it's no bother, it would give us some time to catch up" Christine says excitedly, " Oh we can make it a girls day, you and me!"

You feel someone glaring daggers into your head, as you turn you make eye contact with Cass.

Oh great, another Damian.

"Um.." You were never good in uncomfortable situations. Usually you would signal to your dad or Pepper and they'd find a way to get you out of it.

Even if you were good at navigating through uncomfortable situations, you doubt that anyone would know that to do in these circumstances.

"I mean some of the stuff I can only get online anyways so.." You say awkwardly.

You see Christine deflate and then more glares from the peanut gallery. Honestly its starting to get old.

" You know if you two keep glaring at me, your face will get stuck like that. " You say sarcastically, " Honestly doesn't it hurt to have such a sour face all the time? You're gonna get some crazy frown lines"

But before either Damian or Cass could respond, Bruce stood with a " Okay then! Y/n, how about you take my credit card and get whatever you need online, then your mother will take you AND Cass shopping"

Oh, this was a rich dads way of saying shut up.

"Great a whole day with Wednesday and Morticia." you mutter as Alfred takes your barely touched plate, " Thanks Lurch."

Alfred looks semi amused at the comparison. At least he appreciates your wit.

"Hey" A voice calls to catch your attention, it was Jason.

"I'll take you to your bedroom while Alfred cleans up, don't need you getting lost."

You look at him suspiciously, but take his offer wanting to be alone.

"If you kill me, there's gonna be a lot of pissed off superhero's on your ass." You say following him out of the room.

"Trust me princess, I'm not the one you have to worry about killing you." Jason scoffs.

"Yeah the little ones look like they might stab me in the shower." You say with a wince, " What did i do to them anyway?"

" Trust me its not you." Jason says, " They are the the easiest to be around, there's a wall there." He gestures to his heart.

"Ah"

"But if I'm being honest, finding out about you has been a shock to all of us." He says," I honestly thought Ma couldn't have kids."

You snot cruelly, " Yeah well finding out about all of you hasn't been easy for me either."

"I bet. You know, most of us haven't had much luck with mothers or families. That's why we're here."

"I have a family. A pretty good one too."

"I'm just saying I understand why you'd be angry. I was for a long time. I think sometimes I still am." Jason says before stopping, " Well here we are. If you tell anyone I told you that I'll deny it and they'll believe me."

"Thanks." You simply say, " It's nice to not hate one person that lives here."

And with that you go into the your room and close the door.

[strawglicks]

flint fascinates me bc he comes off as rlly polite and kind

but also. not really. at all

they apologize often and it seems like they try to be nice to others, but then u look deeper and take into account different details

one of the biggest things abt flint that gets overlooked is that he likes drama .

i dont think liking drama itself is bad, why else do we have reality tv shows yk. but i think they actively indulge in it and one of the biggest things that points to this for me is how they treat the satellite investors

he seems to talk bad about them behind their backs, then can't handle the comeuppance of cosmo yelling at him.

this is further implied with cosmo saying they're "goin' around spreadin' lies", meaning flint does actively talk shit on what might be a regular basis. and flint saying "oh, no, I shouldn't have said that" implies FURTHER that they KNOW they're gonna get yelled at for it but continue to do it anyway with the hope cosmo wont find out. like hes not sorry for doing it, only sorry for getting caught.

cosmo gets HEAVILY neglected both in the community as a whole and whenever flint is brought up even though they have a really interesting and honestly hilarious dynamic (but thats for another post..)

whenever cosmo DOES get brought up in the context of he and flints relationship, people defend flint and blame cosmo for being "mean" to him. but tbh, i think cosmo has a fair point in this particular text. Flint can talk all he wants, but at the end of the day can't handle the consequences of it and lacks the confidence to put his foot down. He's a follower, not a leader (unlike cosmo, who flint looks up to canonically. WHICH NO ONE TALKS ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!)

flint also seems to have an interesting habit of apologizing even though he actively and intentionally attacks the toons right after

which i think is interesting. i think it's just a habit of his to say sorry when he knows he's doing/has done something wrong (especially bc he doesnt like facing the consequences), even if hes not actually sorry. Considering this is the same person who claims they like setting toons on fire, i dont think any of these apologies are sincere:

speaking of not being able to handle the consequences, when flint does get defeated by toons, there's a line that sticks out.

Specifically the "i'll be back" feels vengeful. Like he takes the defeat personally, and doesn't want to give up because it makes him feel weak and he wants to come out on top.

something else i find interesting and almost jarring in flint's dialogue is some of their Power Trip dialogue:

this dude is incredibly power hungry. he craves confidence and the ability to be a leader, given how he looks up to cosmo and is drawn to graham, who also appears confident.

speaking of graham, i think it's important to note that earlier, when flint was talking shit abt the satellite investors, he was saying that specifically to graham, who encourages flint not to "let people walk all over him".

graham encourages flint to feel more confident, which is not inherently a bad thing. confidence is great! and its something flint deserves. but i think there's an issue with how they choose to express this "confidence" on the rare occasions they do.

shown throughout this post, flint's way of trying to be confident is being power hungry, talking shit, and fighting toons . i think it's pretty clear that flint has been walked all over in the past and present, and it's caused them to become shy and a bit of a doormat. which he clearly doesn't like (more evidence of this is the fact that he explicitly dislikes belittling.)

and on the rare occasions when they're "allowed" to be confident, they proceed to belittle OTHERS, like toons. in a lot of their dialogue, they come off as condescending towards the toons, even if it's pretty awkward.

i think Flint deserves to feel confident, but the way they go about it is unhealthy. They've clearly been treated like a doormat and is fed up with it, and it seems like they lash out as a result. I think he has a good and genuine heart, but he almost comes off as bitter due to being walked all over constantly. its rlly interesting to dive into flint's flaws and the way they act due to their desperation for confidence, something they really lack.

[tangledinink]

Chapter Twelve of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is up!!! It's the moment you've all waited for-- the reveal. :000 They boys discover some things about themselves (things they once knew) and visit an unfamiliar place (a place that was once familiar.) Read it on ao3 or below the cut!

[ prev ]

The group’s shocked silence lasted for two, maybe three seconds before it quickly morphed into chaos.

“That’s him! That’s the goat!” Mikey shrieked, pointing wildly. “That’s the goat who has Dad!”

“Leo! Call 911!” Raph commanded. Leo scoffed loudly.

“No way! I wanna kick this guy’s ass. Make Donnie do it.”

“What?! No fair! I’ve called 911 the last six times! It’s someone else’s turn!”

“You have not! I called 911 last time!” April protested.

“That one doesn’t count!”

“Well someone’s gotta--”

“Enough!” Goatman snarled, absolutely bristling, waving his arm sharply. The air around them suddenly felt colder and stiller, and Leo shuddered, gritting his teeth as his posture stiffened. “I am not here to listen to your silly arguments. I am here to bring you home, so you can finally fulfill your purpose.”

Leo gave a short snort of laughter. “Hm, yeah, tempting, but our Daddy actually taught us not to go with creepy sheep strangers, even if they offer us free candy, soooo…”

“What?! Candy? No! I’m talking about your purpose! The reason you were created-- to eliminate the human threat! Come with me, and I can unlock your full potential!”

“How many divine purposes have we got again? ‘Cause I’m starting to lose track,” Mikey complained. Leo rolled his eyes.

“Eliminate the human threat? Yeah, uh, maybe you haven't been paying attention, but in case you haven’t noticed, we’re literally humans.”

The yokai paused for a moment. His face twisted, and he hunched his shoulders back before he gave a forced laugh. “Humans?” He echoed. “Humans?! Surely you aren’t fooled by those silly trinkets! You can’t possibly, actually believe…”

“Oh my god. This guy is, like, for real crazy,” April observed, raising her brows.

“No, you are fools!” He hissed in return. “Humans?! These ridiculous forms are completely fabricated! These are not your true selves! You are experiments! You are soldiers! You’re mutated turtles-- my greatest creations! The creations of Baron Draxum!”

“Baron Draxum? Okay, well, we’ll deal with him when he gets here… Oh… Oh-ho-ho wait! You’re doing that, like, sinister talking-about-yourself-in-third person thing, aren’t you! Oh my god, that’s rich!” Leo snorted.

“Hey! Only Raph can use the third-person!”

“I’m sorry, did he say turtles?” Mikey questioned.

“Oh my fucking god…” Leo laughed, clutching his stomach. “Turtles? I’m sorry, we’re mutant turtles?”

“This guy can’t be serious,” Raph muttered.

“Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure we would have noticed by now if we were reptiles,” Donnie scoffed, one hand on his hip. “Let alone subjects of some kind of biochemical experiments. Which I am intimately familiar with, by the way. Do you have any idea how many community gardens I’ve been banned from?”

“This can’t…” The yokai shook his head, a hand on his brow. “How could you be tricked by such simple magic? I will show you if I have to.” 

“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Donnie muttered.

“Come with me--”

“You are out of your damn mind if you think we’re goin’ anywhere with you!” Raph cut in.

“Maybe if you prove that turtle hypothesis thing you have going on, we can discuss it from there,” Donnie laughed, one brow quirked, sounding caught somewhere between exasperated and amused. Honestly, this whole thing was a little bit fucking hilarious. It was also fucking horrible and scary because their dad was missing and a magic criminal had them cornered in an alley, but like. Seriously. Mutant turtles? You can’t make this stuff up, dude.

Draxum sighed very deeply, scowling at their group.

“Very well,” he said, and he snapped his fingers.

Things became unfunny very, very quickly. 

If the air had become cold earlier, now it became startlingly hot, just for a moment, the alley rising up at least five degrees, and Leo heard this choked, startled gasp that he immediately recognized as his twin brother. At the same time, a blinding, almost familiar flash of white light overtook the alley, and Leo hissed, flinching away. 

When he looked back, he was horrified to find that where his brother had been standing just a moment ago there was instead some sort of green, scaled creature, their eyes slitted and their skin leathery and bumped, and he thought, what the hell happened to my brother? And after a moment of silence, all of them staring in dazed shock, the reptile flailed, floundered, held its own hands up to its face as if to examine them, and promptly began screaming. 

And Leo recognized his own brother's screams, so instead he was thinking: what the hell happened to my brother?!

“What did you do?!” Leo shrieked. Behind him, Mikey screamed, too, and he could hear April spluttering out an impressive string of curse words. He just barely resisted the urge to race over to Donnie’s side, to check if he was okay, (he’s not okay, he knows he’s not okay,) to try to help him, to fix it, because he couldn’t just turn his back on the enemy in front of them-- couldn’t ignore the very obvious threat.

“I simply removed the cloaking enchantment as he requested,” Draxum responded calmly. He even looked amused, almost, the very corners of his lips turning up.

“You what!? What the hell are you-- fix it!!! Turn him back!!!” Leo demanded, his voice rising with the very edges of panic, his pulse climbing ever-steadily higher the longer he listened to his siblings scream.

The other sighed deeply, tilting their head to the side. “Do you still not understand? Fine, then. I’ll show you as well.” 

Snap.

Leo wouldn’t describe the experience as painful, but it really wasn’t pleasant, either. He swore he could feel his skin being stripped away and reforming; it was like his skeleton itself was being rearranged, his entire body becoming fluid for just a split second before solidifying again in new places, new patterns, new spaces. An unfamiliar weight pulled at his shoulders, forcing his spine to bend, and his hands and feet fell in a way that now felt unnatural to him. His skin seemed to lay over his muscles differently now.

He was vaguely aware of Mikey screaming somewhere behind him a second time, echoing Donatello’s continued wails. 

“Guys?” April bit out, her voice high and frightened.

What the hell happened to him?

“What-- what did you do?” Leo repeated himself, his eyes wide, straining, because his vision was ever-so-slightly different than it had been a few seconds ago and he didn’t know how to adjust. He swore to god he was frozen in place. He wasn’t sure when he had ended up on his knees, but he was shaking so hard, he supposed he wasn’t surprised.

What the fuck happened to his body?

“Now are you convinced?” The yokai pressed. “Now, we will be going to my lab whether you want to or not. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. I would highly recommend the easy way,” he hummed, giving a sharp sweep of his arms. Wind tugged at his back and Leo had just barely the presence of mind to glance behind him, his eyes widening in horror to see this huge expanse of black opening up behind him. 

Mikey-- (Mikey? They were small, they were wearing Mikey’s clothes, it must be Mikey--) yelped loudly, the inky cloud yanking him from his feet. April jumped, attempting to grab her baby brother, though she only succeeded in falling into him-- both of them swallowed up into the portal. Raph gave a strangled howl of protest, diving right after them, and Donnie was sucked up as well, disappearing from Leo’s sight. His heart thudded wildly in his ears. He could feel the magick yanking at him, trying to pull him in as well. 

But Leo had always been the fastest. 

Every shred of him was screaming to follow, to chase after his family, to go with his sister and brothers, but he tensed his muscles, his stance widening and holding firm as he set his sights back on the yokai towering before him. A tiny voice in his head whispered in his ears that following wouldn’t help--

No, he had to move forward. This guy was the one hurting them.

Get him.

Leo wasn’t sure if he had leapt forward or if he simply was there. Everything was moving too quickly for even him to follow, the blinding white of panic and rage eating hungrily at the edges of his vision, threatening to overtake him. Either way, he lunged, a cry of protective fury wringing itself from his chest.

 "Stay away from my brothers," he snarled, his own throat staggering painfully with the force with which he screamed out his warning, his hands flying forward to grab the yokai by his throat, slamming into him at full speed. He felt the alien velvet fuzz of Draxum’s skin beneath the tear of his fingernails (claws) even as the pair of them were flung from their feet. Gravity was stolen from them both, the portal behind them reaching out to consume them. 

Everything went black. For just a second, tumbling through nothingness, floating through the sizzling rush of magick itself, Leo couldn’t see anything. He couldn’t hear anything, all he could feel was the body of the yokai against him, struggling against his grip, attempting to throw him away. 

And then this bright, searing lavender light came singing through the world. It didn’t reflect or bounce; nothing was lit up by it. Leo still could not see himself, could not even find the outline of his own hands or fingers. But this brilliant, complex pattern of the palest, gentlest pastel purple lit up bright before him, swirling and twisting in foreign shapes, and Leo just barely recognized that the ribbon of runes they formed echoed the shape of the yokai he had just grabbed.

The body he was clinging to went limp.

The next second, the wind was knocked out of him as they made impact with stone, light coming streaming back into his universe. Leo found himself landing in a heap in their new location, the portal disappearing behind them. Oddly, however, the crash landing didn’t hurt near as much as he would have expected it to.

“Leo!” He heard Raph cry. Leo groaned, still dazed, looking around blearily. Where the hell were they? He glanced over at the yokai who he had yanked through the portal with them, only to find them in an awkward slump just a few paces away, completely limp and seemingly unconscious. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” Raph demanded, moving quickly to his side. Mikey was already all bundled up in his arms, shaking like a leaf and absolutely clinging to him for dear life like he was going to fall apart if he let go. And Leo couldn’t even blame him if he did. Mikey had always been the smallest of them, and Raph always the biggest, but Leo thought dimly that the size difference between them now was fucking bananas.

Jesus christ. Raph was fucking huge. And… spiky. Was he a goddamn dinosaur? What the fuck.

“I-- yeah-- I-- I think the goatman got knocked out--” He stammered, still reeling slightly, trying to collect himself, to gather himself, adrenaline still rushing through his veins like it was a racetrack. 

Somewhere in the background, Donnie fucking screamed, and Leo immediately forgot about everything else, his head whipping around. 

“Donnie!” He cried, on his feet in a second, rushing over to his brother’s side. He had no idea where they were, not having yet taken stock of the location. He was only dimly aware that they were someplace cold and dark, with stone and concrete above, below, and around them. Donnie had pressed himself up against one of the walls, his entire body rigid and his head bent forward, his arms fluttering wildly beside his head in such a way that Leo recognized he was fighting not to hit himself. Good job, Dee. The screaming continued, but every wail that wrenched its way out of Donnie’s mouth was short and grinding, repeating itself over and over like an alarm. It was fucking terrifying. Not for him, but for Donnie, because he could tell that they were completely, totally not in control. Just panicking.

“Hey. Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m right here, Don. It’s alright. It’s okay, you’re safe, I’m right here, hermano,” he tried to soothe, forcing his voice down, calm, steady. He knew better than to touch Donnie, but he would reach over just long enough to tap a button on the side of his headphones that he knew would flip the device into white noise mode. Donnie jerked slightly in response, and the screaming stopped, at least, but he didn’t relax. His arms still fluttered and flapped anxiously, and he shifted just enough to begin rocking back and forth, clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth so hard that Leo was afraid he was going to hurt himself. His chest absolutely shook with the panicked, shuddering breaths he was taking, hyperventilating so hard that his entire body trembled in response.

“Come on, Donnie, it’s alright. It’s okay. We’re safe, Mikey and Raph and April are safe, we’re gonna be okay, but you’ve gotta breathe, dude. Can you try it with me? Like this? We’ve gotta calm down a little bit--” Leo pressed on because this was not his first rodeo. He wasn’t quite as adept at handling these things as their dad was, and at this point, Donnie was pretty good at avoiding meltdowns and panic attacks, armed with tools and tricks and years of therapy, but sometimes they were unavoidable and Leo had always known how to calm them down, always been able to step up and help, the same way Donnie could for him--

But Donnie wasn’t calming down. Donnie wouldn’t even look up at him. Rather, Donnie scrunched up harder, curled his lips, and fucking hissed at him.

And, okay, look, it wasn’t the first time Donnie had hissed at them. Donnie used to love to hiss at people when they were little kids, though nowadays he was more likely to express annoyance with declarations such as “groan” or “scoff” or “eye-roll.” But he didn’t hiss like this.

He sounded fucking feral. Even more than that, he sounded fucking terrified. He looked like a goddamn cornered animal, his eyes blown out and huge, the scaly skin that now made up his form stretched tight over shivering muscles and his lips drawn back over sharp, pointed teeth. And Leo looked down at his own clawed, three-fingered hand and came to a horrible realization.

He couldn’t help because Donnie couldn’t recognize him. They were panicking because they were in this crazy, fucked up body that wasn’t theirs, and Leo was in a fucked up body that wasn’t his, and looking at him was just a reminder of everything wrong. He was just scaring them more. His being here was just making things worse, and Leo’s throat tied itself in a knot, swelling up as the backs of his eyes pinched with the thought.

“April,” he called, his voice cracking slightly as he desperately turned to look for his sister. She wasn’t far off, watching from a short distance with obvious worry, and she blinked in surprise at the sound of her name.

“Help me.”

---

If Leo was being completely honest, he hadn’t even realized that Donnie wasn’t still nearby. The two of them typically stuck together like glue whenever they were at school. Leo would usually lead the way, and Donnie would trail after, with Leo doing most of the talking and socializing for both of them. And once Donnie got sick of whatever they were doing, he would simply drag Leo off to sit and read or work on some project or puzzle for a while, and Leo would oblige and keep him company. Donnie was always close by, and Leo wasn’t even aware that this wasn’t currently the case, too absorbed in his latest arts and crafts project, until he heard a telltale, high-pitched whine from across the room.

He was on his feet in seconds, abandoning the activity and his classmates to scuttle off in search of his twin brother. Luckily, he wasn’t too hard to find. Both because he was pretty loud, and also because their substitute teacher was crouched down next to him. She was nice enough, Leo thought, but not quite as cool as Miss Mitchelle was, and he wasn’t sure if Donnie liked her at all. It definitely didn’t seem like he liked her too much right now with how he was all balled up, and Leo wasted no time at all in planting himself physically between the two.

Donnie immediately gravitated towards his brother and Leo moved a bit closer in turn, giving Miss Substitute (he didn’t remember her name,) a very displeased look.

“He doesn’t like whatever you’re doing,” he declared firmly.

Miss Substitute’s expression twitched and faltered for a moment before it settled back into something patient and pleasant, though Leo still didn’t quite trust it. “Leo,” she said, “I was just trying to talk with your brother--”

“I can talk to him,” Leo assured immediately, not bothering to listen to the remainder of her sentence because he couldn’t imagine it would be all that important or interesting. He turned to face Donnie instead. “It’s okay. I can always understand him, ‘cause we have a secret twin language. We made it up. Only we can speak it,” he declared proudly, crouching down to lean in towards his brother, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Donnie was still whining a bit, curled up into a ball and shoved halfway inside of a cubby, his arms crossed protectively over his head as he rocked. And yeah, he was obviously upset, though Leo wasn’t completely sure why yet. As such, he got to work, conversing with his twin in the previously mentioned secret twin language.

… And.

Okay.

So.

They didn’t actually have a secret twin language.

But it was close enough! It wasn’t a language, per se, ‘cause it didn’t have words, just noises and chirps and trills and squeaks and babbles. But he still always got the gist of what Donnie was saying, and Donnie would get the gist of what he was saying, too, so it worked. Sooner or later, he could pretty much always get an understanding of what Donnie was meaning based on the inflection or tone of his noises, as well as calm the other down enough so that Leo could coax a couple of signs out of him, so Leo figured it was close enough to language.

Plus, the ‘language’ itself always seemed to kind of settle Donnie down when he was upset like this. Once Leo started humming and squeaking at him, Donnie gradually started to answer with his own chirps and clicks, and, little by little, Leo watched their twin’s body untense and unwind. Leo grinned, moving to sit properly by him, and Donnie moved closer, edging just a bit out of his hiding spot so he could shove himself up against Leo’s side instead, resting his head against his shoulder and settling in there, an indignant scowl still on his face.

Leo grinned, puffing out his chest a bit as he shot Miss Substitute a look. See? He told her so. He and Donnie always understood each other, no matter what, and he could always fix it when Donnie wasn’t feeling good! He was basically the best brother in the entire world. Confident that he understood the problem, he turned back to face Miss Substitute.

“He said you’re not doing the schedule right, and we’re supposed to do math right now,” he announced, crossing his arms over his chest. And he hadn’t even noticed, but Donnie was right, they did usually do math lessons during this part of the day-- not arts and crafts. “And also, he doesn’t like the paper fish we’re doing ‘cause the glue feels bad. So we gotta find something else to do,” he insisted. “‘Cause otherwise Donnie and I aren’t playing.”

Donnie nodded a tiny bit from behind him, and Leo beamed with pride. Understanding Donnie and calming him down wasn’t even that hard. He didn’t get why adults besides Dad had such a hard time with it sometimes. You really just had to listen to him. 

---

It took a while for April to calm Donnie back down, (or at least get him as calm as they possibly could be in such circumstances,) but she managed after a bit, his panicked breaths eventually dying down into something a bit more even and steady. Thank god. Mikey thought dimly to himself that he had never seen Donnie freak out so bad, but... he supposed he couldn't really blame him. 

He frowned a bit, looking down at his own, unfamiliar hands, and he curled up a bit more, his tail tucking in (oh my god, he had a tail,) as he clung to Raph's plastron (oh my god, Raph had a plastron.) And though it still held comfort, the fold of his biggest brother's arms, bundled up close and held there, this place that he had known his whole life... it suddenly felt foreign, too. Everything was hard and jagged and cold. And even worse-- it was unfamiliar. 

He kept staring at his own hands because he couldn't stop himself, and it made his stomach wobble. He wondered bleakly what his own face looked like because he had no idea. He wouldn't even recognize himself in the mirror. 

 Now that Donnie had finally settled a bit, though he was still curled up and pressed just against April's side, just barely not touching but still squeezed up small against her, Leo finally got up to his feet-- only to immediately lose his balance, falling over onto his back with a loud clunk.

"Leo!" Raph's eyes widened, his muscles immediately bunching up, ready to jump up and go grab his brother. Mikey could tell that he was just barely resisting the urge to scoop up all three of them and bundle them up in his arms and just hang onto them for a while. He had been sitting here long enough for Mikey to notice how fast his heart was beating. Mikey’s was keeping pace. Leo kind of flailed for a second before he managed to redirect the momentum to roll over onto his side, getting himself back onto his hands and knees. A wry, strangled laugh forced its way out of him.

"Alright. Well. Pro tip: center of gravity is weird now," he remarked dryly, his voice strained. "But the good news is falling doesn't even hurt anymore! So that’s great!"

It didn't get a laugh out of anyone. After a moment of hesitation, Mikey slowly wriggled his way from Raph's grip, making his way over to Leo's side. He didn't dare try to walk after watching Leo's attempt, noting that it seemed to be more difficult now without the rush of adrenaline to aid them, so he instead stayed in a crouch, sort of half-hopping-half-crawling over. Raph followed shortly after in a similar manner.

"Can I see?" He questioned softly, and when Leo didn't deny him, he leaned over slightly, moving his hoodie (which was now a very awkward fit,) out of the way enough so that he could examine the edges of his brother's new shell.

(Oh my god. His brother's shell. What kind of a sentence was that? What kind of weird, fucked up make-believe world were they suddenly in? Leo was his brother. He didn't have a shell. He had cool brown skin. He had bouncy blonde curls that Mikey had helped him bleach and dye a red streak in. He had vitiligo 'stripes' over his eyes. He had a bad habit of cycling through boyfriends and insomnia and a shockingly large vocabulary... but he didn't have a shell. He didn't have scales or stripes or claws or a tail.)

He looked anyway, running the tips of his fingers over the top of it, following the curve. He couldn't quite tell if he was feeling the texture of the shell, or just the texture of his own fingers, which were different than they had been; covered in scales, the skin thicker and rougher than it had been before. Bending his joints felt odd, and he couldn't help himself from doing it over and over, as if that might help him get used to it faster. 

 Every part of his brother’s shell was this cool, ocean blue, just edging on teal in some places, and Mikey thought to himself that, in the very least, it matched his life color perfectly. 

He swallowed hard and resisted the tears that were building up in his eyes. He didn’t want to cry right now. He didn’t even know what he was crying about. Because he was scared? Because he was overwhelmed? He wasn’t very good at not crying, but he forced it down, his hands trembling a bit with the effort of it.

 "Does it look the same as mine?" He heard himself asking, his eyes flickering over to meet Leo's (which were now not something he recognized, looking more animal than person, though they still retained the same, familiar almond shape. The color, however, he realized, was slightly different. Leo's eyes were brown. All of their eyes were brown, so dark that they were almost black, but now, instead, Leo's eyes were mismatched; one of them dark blue, like water in a cove, like the sea at night, and the other dark red, like ink with blood, like black cherries.) 

"I dunno," Leo laughed, though his voice was still shaking. "I don't know what mine looks like."

"They're... kinda the same…" Raph observed from nearby, leaning over slightly to examine them both. His voice sounded kind of hollow, like he wasn’t really there. Sort of far-off. "I mean. The parts I can see. Mikey, yours is more... orangey. And bumpier," he said. "And yours is spotty. Leo's is kinda... stripey." 

"Yours is huge," Leo observed with a chuckle, glancing over at their biggest brother, who was always the tallest and largest by a wide margin, but now absolutely dwarfed the rest of them. "And... spiky. You're all spiky. And… and fucking huge, dude. You look like you have fucking paws. And your mouth is all..." He laughed again, scrubbing anxiously at his face with his hands. "You look like a fucking snapping turtle."

Mikey paused a bit at that, glancing over at the other.

Donnie must have said or signed something that the rest of them didn’t catch, because April spoke up next, clearly addressing him. "Uhm, no, yours is... uh. It's kind of flat? And..." There was a pause. "Oh, oh my god, it's, like, squishy!" She squealed, everyone else in the room jumping in response, before she tamped down the noise, biting her lip and getting a handle on her reaction. "Sorry! Sorry, I just. I just wasn't expecting that texture, that's all! It doesn't... feel like what I thought a shell would feel like, I guess."

"Are we different kinds of... turtles?" Mikey questioned, tilting his head to the side. He wanted to laugh at himself when he said turtles. I mean, seriously, turtles? Of all the creatures in the world, turtles? Why were they turtles?

"I guess we must be," Leo sighed, resting his chin on his knee. "We obviously look different." 

Mikey frowned, and he thought that his lips might be trembling if he had proper lips anymore, but he wasn't sure if he did or if they could tremble or what that would feel like if they did. Okay, fine. Now there were a few tears. 

"Does that mean we're not brothers?" 

A beat of silence followed.

"We're not," Donnie said, and quite frankly, Mikey was surprised to hear him speaking. Small miracles? Kinda…?

"Yeah, we are. Don't be crazy," Raph immediately refuted, his brows (er... brows? Place where brows once were?) furrowing together, and Mikey was desperately relieved to see that the space in between still wrinkled into a crease the same way they always did. "Of course we're brothers."

"Evidently, we're not even the same species," Donnie hissed out bitterly, drawing himself up even closer, even smaller, into a little ball. "It's literally impossible."

"Come on, Dee--"

"We're not even human!" Donnie snapped, hunching up his shoulders. "We're not even people!"

"Hey, look, come on you guys," April tried to soothe, holding up her hands as if to calm the group. "It doesn't matter if you're turtles! It doesn't matter to me. I love you guys no matter what--"

"Oh, wow, what a comfort!" Donnie scoffed, and April bristled.

"Okay, look, I am trying to be helpful! I know that this fucking sucks but you do not need to take out your nasty attitude on me!"

Leo suddenly laughed-- loudly, painfully-- tilting his head back and letting his shoulders slump so he could stare up at the ceiling. "Oh my god. Jesus christ. We're not people," he bit out in between his barely restrained hysterics, squeezing his eyes shut. "We're freaks, dude!"

"Leo, c'mon." 

"We're not even people!!!" He repeated. "Fuck. We never even had a chance, and we didn't even know it!... Oh my god, we’re such morons!!! Hahaha-- welp! This is it! Pack it in, boys, it’s all over!"

"Leo, chill. What are you even talkin’ about?"

"Did you know I was gonna go on T?" He questioned, turning around sharply, suddenly, to face Raph. "Me and Dad were talking about it. For, like, a while now. And I was gonna start T, finally. Do you know how much I wanted to do that? Do you know how long I've been waiting to get to do that?"

Raph frowned. "Leo... This doesn't mean--"

"How the fuck is that going to work now!?" He interrupted. "How is anything gonna work now? We're fucking! REPTILES! Raph!!!"

"I KNOW THAT!" Now Raph was yelling, too, and Mikey flinched a bit, hiccuping softly as he drew himself down, retreating slightly, halfway into his shell (oh my god, he can do that now?) "You think you're the only one who was lookin' forward to stuff? I was--" He cut himself off, breathing in deep and then letting it out slow, his jaw tensed.

"Look. I know this... sucks. But it's not gonna help to just throw in the towel right now and mourn shit that we don't even know is gone yet, alright? We'll... figure it out," he said. "We don’t even know what’s goin’ on, so let’s just… let's just try to figure it out first. Okay?" 

Leo frowned. He looked down and to the side, tightening his hands into fists, but he didn't have any rebuttal. After a moment, he took a deep breath, pulling himself up to his feet for a second time. He tottered for a moment, his arms windmilling until he found his balance and this time he stayed on his feet. He looked around the room for a moment before his eyes fell on the limp form of Baron Draxum, still crumpled in a heap some odd paces away.

"What do we do with that guy?"

All of their eyes snapped over, as though they had all just remembered that he was there in the first place.

"Did you knock him out, dude?!" Raph questioned, his eyes widening slightly. 

"No! I mean. I don't think so. Not exactly," Leo said. "It's, like-- he grabbed me and some sort of mystic-magic-whatever thing happened. He lit up with a bunch of symbols and he just... went down. I dunno what happened." 

"Well," Raph said, sighing deeply before he pulled himself to his feet as well, doing a similar rock and wobble to Leo before he figured out the new balance he had to strike, correcting his own footing. His long tail swung back and forth behind him, assumedly on instinct, to help. "We dunno how long he's gonna stay down, so we oughta find a way out of here and put some distance between us and him ASAP. We already know where Dad is, anyway."

"Maybe we can figure out where we are," Donnie mumbled bleakly, pulling himself to his feet as well. He seemed to struggle much less than his brothers did, and Mikey noted that his back rounded less than theirs. April got up as well, sticking close to his side, but perhaps hovering a bit less now. 

Mikey watched as his family rose up, one by one, finding their feet again. And something in his chest unwound and loosened again. A breath he hadn't realized he had been holding came tumbling out of him.

He didn't know his own face anymore. And he didn't recognize his brothers when he looked at them.

But they were still them. Already, Mikey was completely sure of it. And the change, while still terrifying, felt just a tiny bit less devastating. 

He hadn’t lost them yet.

Bracing himself for the coming challenge, he rose up to his feet as well. The unfamiliar weight on his back was more than he had expected and attempted to drag him down, and he stumbled slightly, nearly toppling over onto his back the same way Leo had the first time-- but Raph grabbed his wrist before he could, pulling him forward and correcting him, and Mikey was relieved to find his center of gravity once more. Usually, he would complain about his big brother stepping in, preferring to do things on his own rather than being 'babied' by his older family members, but...

 Right now, it was actually okay. 

"Okay. Let's do this." 

(They took about three steps before Raph yelped and tripped over his own tail.)

---

Though they had tied up the so-called "Baron Draxum" with whatever rope and other scrap they could find in this place, (the longer they were here, the more Donnie began to suspect it was a lab of some kind,) none of them were very confident that it would be able to hold him for very long, if at all, and so they all got to work trying to figure out an exit. But to call this place 'maze-like' was a bit of an understatement.

"This is the worst landmark ever," April hissed in frustration as they turned a corner, only to once again be met with a hog-tied yokai, face-down on the concrete. "We keep going in circles!"

"Okay, look," Donnie sighed. "I know we don't want to linger here any more than we have to, but let's look around a bit and see if there's anything useful lying around to get us out of here. Clearly just walking out isn't getting us anywhere." 

There was a chorus of grunts and mumbles of agreement from the rest of his family, and the group slowly fanned out, beginning their search. It was dark here, wherever they were. The ground beneath his feet was cold, with him and his brothers having already ditched and stowed their sneakers and boots after realizing how awkward and painful it was to walk in them with their new wide, two-toed feet. 

The space was wide and almost circular, with various tunnels branching off at different levels, all leading away to who-knew-where. Several desks and tables were scattered about the space, each surface covered in everything from charts to pipettes to oddly-shaped jars filled with oddly-colored substances. Donnie just barely resisted the urge to sit down and start working, or to begin snatching and pocketing things as he found them. Instead, he took a liberal amount of photographs of everything they found on his phone.

 His impulse control could only get him so far, however, and his eyes narrowed as they fell across a small, purpley-pink gem that lay on the desk, suspended within a small glass case. This certainly looked interesting... Geology wasn't really a passion of his, but something about this just seemed... intriguing. He couldn't quite place it...

 Surely no one would miss this, right? It was small! It would be silly not to take it, quite frankly, and he slipped it into his pocket as quietly as he could when he was sure no one else was looking. 

Now, if only he could find some blueprints of the tunnels... But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

"So," Mikey said after a minute or so of them searching, and Donnie sighed internally. Of course, they couldn't expect him to stay quiet for that long. "If Raph is a snapping turtle, and me and Leo are turtle-turtles, then what kind of a turtle is Donnie?"

Donnie rolled his eyes, scowling. "Okay, well, first of all, do we really have to discuss this?" He hissed, immediately bristling. "I’d highly prefer we not address the proverbial elephant in the room, thank you! Second of all, 'turtle-turtle' is not a species."

"Yeah, but, like, we have turtle shells!" Mikey explained. "But April said yours is squishy. So what does that make you?"

Donnie sighed deeply. Talking about this made his skin itch.

"A softshell turtle, I suppose."

"A softshell?" Leo questioned, raising a brow. "That's a thing?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that off the top of your head?" Raph questioned.

"Some of us actually paid attention during biology classes," he responded dryly. And having a near-photographic memory did, admittedly, help as well…

"Whoa!" Mikey absolutely beamed. "That's so cool! Now we just gotta figure out what kind of turtles me and Leo are!"

"Well, I'd look it up if we had any service. And also if it was even close to being an appropriate time for us to waste our efforts on something like that," Donnie said with a roll of his eyes. He knew that Mikey was just distracting himself, finding a silver lining so he didn’t break down, but Donnie didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to think about how much of their entire lives was completely fabricated, about how--

He snorted, suddenly doubling over with laughter.

"What?" April questioned, raising a brow.

"I just-- I just realized!" Donnie laughed. "Our... our moms must be turtles! Fucking turtles!"

There was a beat of silence as this sunk in before Raph gave a similar reaction. "Damn! I guess you're right, huh?"

"Do you have any idea how much time I wasted in therapy talking about this?" Donnie squeaked out through giggles. "I spent so much time with Mossy talking about our mom and how she didn't want us or whatever the fuck and about the stuff she did to Dad and how I couldn't remember her, and she-- she was never even real! None of that ever even happened! She was just a fucking turtle, wasn't she!? We don’t even have a real mom!"

"Whoa! Mind... blown. I didn't even think about that..." Mikey gaped, his eyes wide. "This whole time I just assumed that our mom was probably the hotel lady..."

"Yeah, me too," Leo agreed.

Donnie blinked.

"You what?"

"Well, you know, that woman that Dad was datin’ right before he disappeared," Raph said. "And she runs the Grand Nexus Hotel, right? All the articles I ever read always mentioned her."

Donnie's eyes twitched. "You thought she was our mother?" He questioned.

"Well, that's who Dad was datin’ last! And for a long time, too. It'd make sense, wouldn't it?" Raph defended.

"Yeah. You didn't think that?" Leo said.

"NO! Why would I think that?!" Donnie was laughing again.

Leo huffed in offense, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sorry, do you know something we don't?"

"Apparently!" Donnie exclaimed. "Guys, you've seen pictures of her, right?!"

"Well, yeah?" Mikey tilted his head to the side.

"She's pale as fuck!"

"So?"

"And our Dad is Japanese!"

"And? Donnie, what's your point?"

"We're black!"

"... Ooooohhhhh," all three of his brothers said, nearly in unison, after Donnie's argument finally sunk in.

"Oh my god," Donnie laughed, covering his face with his hands, scrubbing tears from his eyes. "You're all so fucking dumb..."

"I guess our mom would have had to be black. I mean. We got the Japanese half from Dad, but... I never really thought about where the other half came from..." Raph admitted, his mouth still slightly agape like he was still rolling the thought about in his head. 

"Wait a minute," April said, her hands on her hips. "I mean, yeah, all that makes sense, but if you guys have secretly been turtles this whole time, then why are you black?"

"Dude, are all turtles black?" Mikey questioned, his eyes widening.

"I cannot discuss this any further. I'll get a migraine and furthermore cease to function, as I am, and I cannot stress this enough, just barely suppressing the gravity of this whole situation right now," Donnie sighed, gesturing to himself as he turned back to the desk in front of him. "Did anyone find anything yet?"

"Not yet," April sighed, shuffling through some papers. "What even is all this junk?"

"I'm not sure. Some sort of research, it seems like..." Donnie mused, sort of thumbing through a book as he spoke, reading key phrases and chunks of text as quickly as he could and making mental notes so he could refer back to it later. He was more than happy to have something else to focus on, though this would admittedly be a lot easier with human hands. "But I'm still not sure where--"

Shhhh shhhh.

Donnie paused mid-sentence, his brows furrowed. He hadn't noticed that sound before now. He tilted his head a bit to the side, turning in its direction, trying to zero in.

"... Donnie?"

"What's that noise?" He questioned aloud, though his voice was barely above a whisper.

Shhhh shhhhh.

He knew that noise. He recognized it. Where had he heard it before?

Shhhh shhhhh.

... Water, he realized with a start. The noise was running water. Of course. How had he never realized this before?...

That's what he was hearing. That's what he had heard.

"Dee? You good?"

"Guys," he said, turning just enough to glance over in their direction. His face suddenly felt like glass. It was odd. "I think... I think we're in the sewer," he said. "... And I think we've been here before...?"

Before anyone could say anything further, a new noise filled up the space.

Skrrrtttccchhhhh.

---

"What was that?!" Mikey shrieked, immediately leaping behind his biggest brother to hide. Leo and Donnie were instantly gravitating to each other as well, falling into stance on instinct as they stood back to back, each covering the other. 

"It sounds like something scratching," April said thoughtfully, and true to her word, the same skritching noise clawed its way through the air a moment later, echoing slightly against the walls. "I think it's coming from over here!"

"April!" Raph hissed off a protest as she took off, heading in the direction of the sound. "We don't know what that is!"

"We will if we go look!" She chirped in reply. I mean, come on, what was the benefit of hiding over here instead of investigating? Weren't they curious either way? Besides, they were stuck here regardless-- maybe they'd find something helpful.

The noise continued as April searched, peering around corners and down tunnels, until, finally, she found her prize. Tucked inside one of the off-shoot tunnels, one of the many dead-ends that seemed to surround this space, was a proverbial treasure trove. A variety of odds and ends filled the space; various amulets and scrolls and chests and even weapons were leaned up against the wall or stacked up on the ground. In fact, a lot of weapons were in here. Was this some kind of a weird armory? Or a trophy room? What kind of sewer has a trophy room?

But most interestingly, she found the source of the noise. Inside a small, dimly lit orb, looking as though it were made of some sort of glass, or perhaps even light, was one of the oddest creatures April had ever seen, clawing sadly at the surface of its prison. It had ears like a chihuahua, pointed and too big for its head, with tufts of fur poofing out from inside, but huge eyes like some kind of a cat. Pointed tusks stuck from its mouth like a boar, but soft, downy yellow-and-blue fur covered its entire, squirrel-like body, complete with a fluffy, wriggly tail.

"AW, you guyyssss!" She called out. "Come look! It's cute!"

"April!" The guys were right behind her, with Raph leading the charge. "You can't just run off like-- jumpin' jack flash! What the heck is that thing?!"

"I dunno!" April said with a shrug, immediately making her way into the room, scooping up the orb so she could examine it, looking for a way to open it up. The little critter inside pattered about excitedly, its claws clicking against the smooth surface. "Help me figure out how to get him outta here."

"Are you sure about that?" Leo questioned. "No offense, but we have nooo idea what that thing is! Maybe it's, I dunno, locked up for a reason?"

"What? C'mon, guys, we've gotta help!" Mikey protested, turning on them with big, pleading eyes. Nice, April thought, with Mikey on her side she had basically already won. Suck it, middle children. "Plus, he was locked up by Draxum. So he can't be bad!"

"Yeah! Ever heard ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend?’" April added in.

"I'm not convinced," Donnie said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I mean, has anyone else noticed that pretty much everything else in this room is a weapon of some kind? Isn't that maybe a bit telling?"

"Aw, come on, Dee. Look at this face!" April insisted, holding up the orb to the others. The creature, to their credit, played their part, pulling an absolutely pitiful face which Mikey immediately echoed, turning to his brothers with watery eyes. 

Checkmate.

"Okay, okay, fine. Look, there's gotta be something in here that can help us bust him out..." Leo muttered, beginning to pick his way through the contents of the room with Raph, Donnie, and Mikey following suit shortly after. 

"Here, what about these?" Leo said after a moment, turning to face them with a pair of twin katanas in hand. "Think I could slice that bad boy open with these guys?"

April scoffed, clutching the orb close to her chest. "Uhm, and this guy in half, maybe!" She protested. "Can we try something a little less deadly, please?"

"Aw, come on! These are cool," Leo protested, grinning as he twirled them in his hands with a metallic shwing.

"You just like them because you always win at any swordsmanship event at tournaments," Donnie remarked dryly, grabbing a long wooden staff to hold in his hands, testing the weight of it. "... That being said, should we maybe grab some of these just in case?"

"Whaddya mean?" Raph glanced over at the other.

"Well, we haven't even made it to the Hidden City yet, and we've already been attacked once," Donnie reasoned, placing a hand on his hip and frowning. "So it wouldn't exactly be a bad idea to have some weapons on hand in case of an emergency." He spun the bo staff in his hands appraisingly a few times. "I mean, obviously this is a bit underwhelming, but I'm sure I could make some improvements once we got back home..."

"Sounds like a good plan to me! Look at all the stuff they’ve got!” Mikey cheered, immediately diving in, beginning to sort through all the various options they had in the room. He chuckled darkly, swinging a pair of nun-chucks in his hands. “These’ll do…”

“Yo, guys!” Raph called, waving to get his brothers’ attention before pointing to the very far corner of the room. “If we’re gonna take stuff, why don’t we take the glowy ones?”

There was, in fact, a weapons rack filled with floating, vaguely glowing weapons, tucked away in the shadows, which only made the glow all that much more tempting. They were simply begging to be taken.

Mikey and Leo, almost in unison, gasped, their faces absolutely lighting up as they raced over to join Raph. “Ooh, dibs on the sword!” Leo cheered, immediately snatching up the odachi and repeatedly striking poses.

“Hot soup! Check me out!” Mikey snatched up a bright orange kusari-fundo, absolutely beaming ear-to-ear. Raph was nearly drooling as he laid his claim on a pair of tonfas, beaming as he gave a few experimental swings. 

“They’re perfect! No one’ll mess with us now!”

“What about you, Donnie?” April questioned, tilting her head back to glance at the remaining brother. “Don’t you want a glowy weapon?”

“And add yet another unknown, uncontrolled variable to our current situation? I’m good,” Donnie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I’ve trained with a regular, wooden bo staff. I’ll fight with a wooden bo staff, thank you very much. You all have fun with your likely-radioactive weaponry,” he said, waving them off. 

“Here, April, I got something for you, too,” Mikey chirped excitedly, scampering over to present his find to her. “Ta-da!!! Baseball bat!”

It wasn’t a baseball bat-- it was a club. But close enough! April gasped in delight. “It’s perfect!” She enthused, immediately snatching it up, rolling it around in her hands and tapping it against the side of her shoe a few times. Ooh, and the weight was perfect, too. “And I think it can help us get little guy out of this ball thingie, too! Leo, come hold it still for me!”

 "Aw man, why do I gotta hold it?" Leo muttered in complaint but did as he was told regardless, kneeling down to hold the orb steady, taking care in the placement of his hands to minimize the chances of broken fingers.

 "Alright," April said, backing up a bit, her tongue sticking out from between her lips with focus. "This won't hurt a bit..." 

She swung the club back, taking care to temper her strength, and brought it down on the little ball prison with a satisfying crunch. 

"Did it work?" Mikey gasped, his eyes wide as he leaned over. The orb was not shattered nor laying in pieces; but the side of it had caved in considerably, a spiderweb of cracks blossoming from it, and a second later, it simply dissolved as if it had never been there in the first place. The creature that had previously been trapped inside cracked one eye open, having squeezed itself into the very back of its cage, flinching at the oncoming impact, gave an absolute trill of excitement, darting about in celebration.

"There we go!" April said, grinning wide, her hands planted on her hips. "See, told ya I'd get you outta there! That's better, right?"

The little yellow beast threw itself into her lap, wriggling with joy and nuzzling at her with an enthusiastic wag of its tail. "Okay, okay! You're welcome!" April laughed, giggling as she allowed the creature to clamber about in her arms, allowing it time to bounce about before it finally began to settle again.

"Any chance you know how to get out of here, little guy?"

---

Raph looked up from his phone and his tea at the sound of mail plopping down on the table, glancing over to examine the letters his father had just tossed over in his direction.

"For you," Dad remarked, sorting through the remaining mail from the day.

"For me?" Raph echoed, his brows rising up. "Who the heck is sending me mail?" Curiosity took hold immediately, and he abandoned the wrestling video he had been watching previously in favor of tearing open the letters on the table.

He was surprised to find college brochures inside. His father, however, did not seem all that surprised at all, even adding a couple more to the pile.

"It seems you are in high demand," Dad teased, smiling the tiniest bit. "I have received a few emails as well from recruiters recently."

Raph paused for a moment, rolling this idea about in his brain, trying to figure out what it meant and what it tasted like before he forced a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Guess they haven't seen my grades yet," he joked weakly. Dad hummed softly, pulling up a chair so he could sit down next to his eldest son.

"Nonsense," he scoffed. "Your grades are fine, Raphael. You've simply tricked yourself into thinking they're not by comparing yourself to others," he added, giving the other a knowing look. "And besides that, this is hardly the only thing that matters. I have told you many times that grades aren't everything. My grades in high school were terrible!" He remarked with a laugh. "And your career in sports is very impressive."

"I guess," Raph said, wrinkling his nose up a bit as he leaned over the table. Easy for him to say. He had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea of colleges being interested in him when his three younger brothers were right here in the same damn house! Had they really meant to send these to Hamato Raphael?

Dad's hand moved to rub little circles into his back, and he nudged his son's teacup a bit. Raph agreeably took a sip, allowing the warm liquid to trickle down through his chest.

"I know you have not always enjoyed schoolwork, Raphael," Dad finally spoke again. "But you are not stupid. You may very well have the most common sense of any of my children!" He chuckled. "And you have many talents besides that. You are a remarkable athlete, and I know I do not have to drag you over to the trophy wall to prove this to you, but I will if I have to. You are only sixteen and you are already the captain of multiple sports teams... not just anyone could handle that! It is difficult to lead a team. But you have always handled this with grace. And teaching children! That is a talent in and of itself. That is no easy task. Trust me, I know," he said, smiling slightly. "But you are doing so well with your new job. And I am very proud of you."

 Raphael glanced over at his father, for just a moment, hesitating like he wanted to say something, but then biting it back.

"You don't have to go to college if you don't want to," Dad added. "If you decide that is not the path for you, that is fine. I won't be upset or disappointed. I did not go to college, either! But I would hate for you to not even consider it just because you don't think you're good enough for it," he pressed. "I know you've always said you intend to pursue a career in sports of some kind, but this is very much an avenue to achieve that if you'd like. Many professional athletes get their start through college sports, you know. And I can already name half a dozen universities off the top of my head who would be thrilled to have you on their team in a couple of years!"

He sighed softly.

"But you do not have to decide right now, my son. There is still plenty of time for you to consider all of your options."

Raph glanced over at his father, shifting a bit in his seat, before looking to the side.

"Uh. I dunno, Pops. I mean. I'm not good at tests and all that junk. I mean. College football could be good 'n all, but, uh..."

He hesitated a second, sort of scratching the side of his jaw, hesitating a bit. "I dunno. Maybe I could... I mean. We could look at it, at least. I was kind of wonderin’ about, uh. I dunno… Just, lately, I was thinkin' about... studyin' early childhood education, maybe?..."

[ next ]

[deeplyobsessed]

ok so i’m gonna ramble in sections

section 1: cgi moustache

FUCKING HILARIOUS like it was so bad it was funny HELP also buck’s hair was season 8 hair too it’s so funny like WHY did they reuse this HAHA

section 2: confession part 1

as short of a scene as it was, this was really nicely shot imo. and the tears in eddie’s eyes when he spoke like RYAN GUZMAN UR SO GOOD. but also how does buck (best friend) rank about girlfriend like hmmmmmmm

section 3: FUCKING ABBY

I CLOCKED IT I KNEW IT i know we always joke about 911 having continuity issues but THIS was such a good way to call back season 1 like insane writing tim minear and i love u for it

section 4: the divorce call

i wish they did more with this call like there was potential to call back to eddie/shannon but they didn’t. other than that i think honestly this is one of the grossest calls they’ve ever been on like genuinely icked the hell out of me with the guts like ugh gross

section 5: josh’s speech

as much as people hate on tommy, i do think josh’s explanation of things does give some sort of context to the way tommy acted in the past. like yeah racism and sexism is bad don’t get me wrong, but tommy did make an effort to change. it’s just that with society and his own work place back then, tommy prob had a lot of internalised homophobia that he expressed negatively outward to others (chim and hen in particular). but josh made a very good point with his speech about pre glee and post glee world (great reference, 10/10) and i think this was one of my favourite parts of this episode

section 6: confession part 2

ok first of all there was literally NO NEED to add that “im straight” “im celibate” part. like that was intentionally written into the script for something bcos that entire section could have been done without the sexuality mention. tim minear i see you. other than that FATHER BRIAN YOU ARE SPEAKING FACTS. my fav line he said was “but we can’t take care of others if we don’t first take care of ourselves”. bcos this is true!! and also a line used in therapy a lot cough. anyway i think the conversation eddie had with the priest was like a wake up call to eddie to start getting his head out of his ass and start working towards something. love this scene 10/10

section 7: brothers and pipes

most of this call was focused on the brothers part more than the well scene call back, tho there was a throw away line from bobby to eddie about how (eddie) wouldn’t fit this time. i do wonder if this happened irl would fire departments legally be authorised to allow children to help with rescues tho. otherwise honestly this was a very cute scene that helped chim get some introspection. i do wish there was more of a well scene call back tho :(

section 8: buck tommy breakup

as a buddie fan, i am overjoyed. but as a buck fan, i am devastated. tommy is actually one of my favourite love interests for buck, and its not just because he’s a dude and sexual awakening all that. i genuinely do think buck and tommy could have had a lot of potential if the show had decided to go through with it, but at the same time ending it here was also a relatively good note. i think in this relationship it wasn’t actually buck who wasn’t ready, it was tommy. tommy is afraid of things not working out in the long run bcos he doesn’t believe in buck’s affection for him being long term. this whole breakup was bcos tommy wasn’t ready imo. i do see the point tommy was trying to make but i also think it was a bit of a dick move to do the whole breakup immediately after buck asked tommy to move in with him. like the timing could have been better tommy. tommy being the one who decided to end things did surprise me tho. but now i feel really sad for buck bcos buck did like tommy a lot, and also as a queer person your first queer relationship is always going to mean a lot to you

section 9: MADNEY MADNEY MADNEY

HOLY MOTHER OF- i didn’t see this coming i didn’t but i am so here for it. the amount of trust and communication between chim and maddie is literal relationship GOALS like they lay out the boundaries and have healthy discussions about having another kid and it’s just so UGHHHH I LOVE YOU also maddie already being pregnant FJSJCKSK MORE BABIES

section 10: eddie, the moustache, and the dance

this. was. everything. the significance of shaving off the moustache. the dancing at the end?? no pants too was a choice. like when eddie flops back onto the couch and you see his smile, it’s like you truly see him deciding to finally forgive himself. maybe not completely, because there’s always going to be some guilt he carries around, but he’s moving forward and i’m so, so happy for him. it’s just a fun goofy feel good scene and i love love love this.

special mention: buddie and the couch

i actually think this is the first time both of them are on the couch together. like sitting next to each other with no one else. RETURN OF THE COUCH THEORY WELCOME BACK. ok but the ending scene?? the way they don’t even need words to communicate like- buck not even bothering to question why eddie doesn’t have pants, and eddie not even questioning why buck is here with beer in the first place. the level of mutual understanding has my HEART IN PIECES

overall this is honestly my fav ep this season and one of my fav eps of all time. i can’t wait to see how the story moves on from here ahhhhhhh

[messenger-of-stupidity]

So I went hiking yesterday and climbed on some old lime factory ruins and saw some graffiti. (Lots of it actually.)

So here's what I think the redacted characters would graffiti (if anything):

David: No. He wouldn't graffiti. Man prolly believes in the sanctity of nature and leaving things either as or better than he found it

Angel: Cock and balls.

Asher: Jigglypuff. He wants everyone to behold the splendor.

Baabe: honestly, despite the fact I hc them as an art nerd, I don't think they would graffiti. Maybe with chalk so that way it's temporary. But idk what they would say.

Milo: either "Milo was here" or "Shut up Asher"

Sweetheart: doesn't matter. It's a mess. Because "Art is abstract, Milo. Besides, it kind of looks like that time Aggro spooked you and you shifted and made a mess in our old apartment"

Sam: he wouldn't. He's on the same wavelength as David.

Darlin: some kind of inside joke so that way everyone in the pack (and clan) knows they were there.

Vincent: a purposefully cheesy inspirational quote in the shittiest lettering you've ever seen.

Lovely: a smiley face because they just want their life to calm down so they can enjoy immortality with their stupid boyfriend.

Porter: he wouldn't, but not because he cares about sanctity or whatever. He just doesn't see the point.

Treasure: nah. They don't see the point either. They also don't have a marker or spray paint or anything with them. Porter just kinda zipped them into the middle of fucking nowhere all of the sudden. Somehow they lost a shoe on the way.

Elliot: yes. Boy is making a whole landscape because it's in his DNA and his inner Bob Ross is screaming at him that there's no mistakes, only happy little accidents

Sunshine: they put a sun and a little river for Brachium since he can't deface property with them :(

Blake: he's bringing a powerwasher to destroy all the graffiti

Bestie: they weren't aware it was an option because Blake is sheltering them from the existence of graffiti to keep them pure.

Aaron: no. He doesn't have the time

Smartass: they're busy too.

Ollie: no. He'd rather be inside playing board games

Baby: no, they're inside watching Ollie explain a board game for three hours

Ivan: yeah. Idk what, but he is

(I'm not doing Ivan's listeners)

Guy: it's just memes. There pepe the frog. There's rainbows and telling people that "they're putting chemicals in the water to turn all the frogs gay"

Honey: they put Guy's phone number so he gets spammed because his graffiti tastes are as good as his humor. Make of that what you will.

Geordi: no. He's too anxious about getting in trouble to even think about it.

Cutie: yes. They're putting passing people's thoughts on the wall.

Camelopardalis: no.

(He has too many listeners and I isn't remember them and they dint have enough personality for me to be able to tell)

Vega: no. It's too human.

Warden: once. They felt bad and tried to get rid of it afterwards. It was just a stick figure with horns.

Hush: yes. He saw it once and wanted to try it. Now he's wanted in twelve states for defacing government property. He just copies what he's seen.

Doc: nope. They never understood the draw.

Damien: nope. He's a rule follower

Lasko: no. He's too anxious

Dear: yes. But it's just dad jokes.

Huxley: once. He felt bad about it but it was certainly an experience. It was a tree and a stick dude.

Gavin: absolutely. It's hilarious. It ranges from just crude jokes to just random circles. No one knows the meeting, but it's becoming like a mini legend in Dahlia. If you find the holy circle (because it's a perfect circle. He has good wrist control) you have to leave an offering. He's making a cult by accident but he still finds it funny

Freelancer: yes, but only because Caelum saw Gavin doing it and thought it looked like fun and he wanted Freelancer's help.

Caelum: he drew a bunch of shaky smiley faces to "brighten peoples day. Because when they see all these smiles, they'll want to smile too, and that will make them feel good. Which makes me feel good. Which helps me make others feel good. Which makes me feel goo-"

Morgan: no.

Seer obscura: no. But they were tempted to give vague warnings to people to try to help them

[king-of-a-kingless-world]

oy yoo joonghyuk, your looking kinda rough there. you good blud?

ok i really like this because i feel like previously the comic had an issue with making me care about yjh regressions. like theyd say they happened but didnt show it in a way that made me actually care but like with this now i understand and i can care about the pain his character went through more rather than just 'oh yeah the regressions happened hes sad about that but your not gonna get to see why and any of the pain he went through'

WHAT FHE FUCK WHY DOES IT HAVE A MOUTH. WHAT FHE HELL NKOOOOOO I DONT LIKE THIS

oh gohd. i. i dont like this.

YEAH. YA SHOULDVE. ok so i didnt take screenshots for a while but i think its really funny she got eaten. i dont like her. i know she tried her best and was going through a tough time but when your a parent trying your best isnt enough. you are raising a human being obviously your not going to be perfect but being a bad parent and trying to excuse it with 'i tried my best' is crazy. any other situation trying your best will always be enough because thats all you can do but a parent should do more than their best. i just. ugh. i think shes a very interesting and compelling character and a very realistic and human one at that but if she was real id want to fist fight her.

YAH KILL HIS ASS. her only saving grace in my eyes. the only thing ill ever say she did right. but then she went and put dokjas traumatic childhood on blast to the whole world while he was still a kid without his permission so i still dont like her 😋

honestly outside of writing the book and not getting dokja away from the abuse eairlier she was actually an amazing mom, she taught him many important things and even here always taught him the right lesson. BUT WHY THE FUCK YOU WRITE THAT DAMN BOOK-

also she basically abandoned him in a sense so hate her for that too ✌️

WHAT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS. ok most big twists i was already spoiled for but- ARE YOU TELLING ME DOKJA WAS THE ONE TO ACTUALLY KILL HIM?!??!!? OHHHHHH OH MY GOD. ok thats gonna fuck up his psyche to remember that but good for him yes kill that dude. also more points for her your slightly less of a shitty mom in my eyes you took the fall for him thats wonderful thats good parenting there (not the murder the being willing to take the fall in this situation)

thats actually insane because that means there was a reason behind the book. the book was to make sure no one ever thought it was dokja. i mean i dont think anyone wouldve suspected that so still she prob didnt need to write it but. THAT MEANS THERE WAS A REASON FOR THE BOOK. MY WHOLE ARGUMENT HAS BEEN THROWN OUT THE WINDOW I LOVE BEING PROVEN WRONG OHHH THIS IS AMAZING AND CRAZY. i still have my annoyances with her parenting but like. +50 parent points for this you go girl AND YOU GO DOKJA MURDER HIS ASS

oh. LMAO. DUMB ASS WAY TO DIE FUCKER. HAHAHAH DOKJA DIDNT EVEN MURDER HIM THIS DUMBASS SLIPPED AND FELL ONTO THE KNIFE AS DOKJA WAS HOLDING IT LMAOOOOOOOOOO THATS SO HILARIOUS. FUCKING IDIOT. so neither of them actually killed him thats hilarious thats so fucking funny pathetic death for a pathetic man.

ok but objectively letting him die was the good choice. like. mf deserved it.

[theglamorousferal]

More Phantom Transcendence

Okay but like

Both Danny and Alcor can take on a human appearance right?

Like, Danny is half-human and Alcor can just, make himself seem like he's human.

So what if Alcor is bored and decides he needs to pretend to be a human studying demonology at college, and Danny's over here going to college for engineering and ecto-studies and they end up roommates.

Here's the thing

Do they meet on move in day and immediately clock each other a la pointing Spiderman meme?

Like holy shit, you also have an entire dimension and fathomless power?! Dude, same! Let's fuck with the professors!

Or, has it been long enough that neither of them really remember what's normal for a human and so will do things like float and the other just, doesn't acknowledge it??

Or do they spend MONTHS trying to hide their weirdness from their "totally human" roommate only for it to come to a head when one of them gets summoned in front of the other?

Like, Danny, going by Dante Walker and Alcor going by Alucard "Lou" Redwood.

Alcor forgot humans don't have fangs and as he usually shows up in a black button down people assume he just takes the whole goth look to a new level by wearing fake fangs all the time.

Danny forgets that he looks like a damned twig and is seen just casually lifting work tables in class to get a part he dropped.

I don't know how I would want this to go honestly because all options are equally hilarious, but also have opportunities for angst.

One of them gets summoned and a child was sacrificed AGAIN why do they always use children, it's clearly stated that the summoning uses orange soda. Whichever it was comes back shaking, crying, covered in blood from the cultists they killed and the other is there to hold him and swear a curse upon the souls of those who thought it was a good idea to use an innocent little girl and hey, they're gone for this lifetime, maybe they'll not do it in the next one. Oh, you ate the soul of the leader? Well that's good, don't have to worry about them reincarnating and doing this again. Want to go get some burgers? I know a great spot.

Just, I need these two to be friends.

[aiura-stan]

0-6!

(If you’re wondering how I’m getting these done so fast, it’s because I’m doing these ahead of time. I'm running on a queue.) I used dictation and actual keyboard typing for this one, so it’s going to be long. (Side note, I love the ability to dictate things and using split screen mode! Highly useful features and I have no idea why it’s taken me this long to actually use them.) Also, I guess I should say that there will be spoilers in this and probably future posts too, because I’ve already read the manga. Okay! Onto the commentary.

I love that Saiki outright states he doesn't want to be the "guy you know what he's thinking.” Like, come on Saiki, admit it; you have a little bit in common with Kaidou. (I think he secretly kind of likes freaking people out. He definitely likes the fact that people are a little scared of him.)

He's always the odd one out; He's one of the loner kids. I don't think he really thinks it makes him look normal. I think that's just what he tells himself to feel better about the whole thing.

I think it's funny that he dislikes Kaidou for the same reasons that he thinks he's so different from everyone else. I mean, Kaidou is always trying to stand out, and Saiki does have a legitimate reason for not wanting to stand out. But even so. He’s just got it in his head that is so much better than Kaidou at the beginning of the series. Like, dude, you're no different from him. You're the same breed of weirdo in a different font. Lol. That font is “really intentionally manipulating others’ perception of you for personal reasons.” It’s just that Kaidou’s version is much flashier than yours. I like seeing it this early on in the comic; it's interesting to see how it all started. Also, Kaidou is a lot more polite than Nendou, apologizing for talking to Saiki out of nowhere. Amusing. He absolutely knows how to behave like a normal person, but chooses not to because his persona gives him confidence.

I also like that here in the beginning of the comic, we have an unnamed guy who is was basically parroting what Kuuusuke says further on in the comic, and it’s more clearly framed as delusional weirdo behavior.

Yes, duh, he came to you because you were alone, Saiki. Weirdo behavior attracts weirdos (weirdos attract weirdos.) That's just a basic social law for ya.

Also, I laughed out loud at “okay, I’m calling you Junpei.” good response, honestly. Saiki’s narrative commentary addressed to no one in particular is always really funny.

He also seems to be egging him on in the next panel with his sarcastic remarks (wow. Your punch was soooo fast I couldn’t see it at all), though it’s never clear in this manga whether the person being spoken about can actually hear anything he’s saying in all of its dry sarcasm. My headcanon follows the lines that Saiki uses hypnosis when he’s not actively addressing them (sending telepathic messages to them), so people just hear whatever they want to hear from him. Or something like that. I’m guessing that we, the readers, are supposed to assume that they can’t hear him unless Saiki is actively sending them telepathic messages/‘broadcasts’. "I fancy you" is a strangely British way of putting it. Which also means "I like-like you" if memory serves. Translators??? strange. anyways.

Ah… XD. I forgot that Kaidou saw him teleport in the manga. That’s perfect considering Kaidou’s name joke (shunkaidou = teleportation.) wahh, I wish this one came in the tankobon volumes so I could read them.

You know… since the third chapter of this volume was adapted into the anime, can volume 0 really be called non-canon? Maybe to the manga. Hmmmmmm.

Oh come on. Why didn’t they put this in the anime??? It would have been hilarious to have Kaidou imagining some kind of green monster-humanoid hybrid and then the screen transitions to Saiki’s expressionless face, with pink limiters and green glasses. There’s an element of color that manga sadly lacks. I get the point with the black arrows, Mr. Asou, but it just isn’t quite the same without actual color.

XD Asou’s attention to detail is good. We actually see the teacher wondering where the hell he’s going when he runs out of the room, and then following through showing that he won’t be running students down just to make sure they stay in class. It’s a small thing, but it definitely makes a difference, making the Saikiverse seem a bit more realistic.

Also, look, it’s this guy who appears a bajillion chapters later in that weird gag… What was his name again? Gah… refer back to this later, future me.

Yes, Kaidou becomes a completely different person outside of his riddiculous chunnibyou persona, which he only uses at school. I do like that Asou sensei writes him this way. It would be easier to have him be in character all the time, but he’s much more realistic like this. I love that Saiki remembers the stupid nickname he gave himself. It makes the contrast even more funny. Okay, I’ll stop analyzing Kaidou and explaining every joke for now.

XD XD XD

Things like this make me wonder if Saiki really doesn’t know that’s how his looks might be interpreted at a distance… even though he understood from the verbal description that he could be perceived as having “pink horns” and “green eyes.” And he spaces out in class just thinking about it. Thoroughly neurodivergent behavior.

I also love things like this, that imply but don’t outright show that Nendou just… openly teleports in front of Nendou because he can get away with it.

I also enjoy Saiki’s stubbornness in calling Kaidou ‘Junpei.’ Peak comedy.

I love that Kaidou would rather Saiki think he has multiple personalities instead of just being polite to people outside of school. And Saiki says he appreciates the effort… lol. I think he does actually appreciate it, in a way, sarcasm aside. Kaidou is committed to the bit.

“Whether that’s true or not, you need to get to a hospital.” Lollll. But also… makes me wonder if he really believes it, again. That along with the “Kaidou personality chart” further on in this comic. From Saiki’s other confrontations with people who clearly need help (including the one where he talks down a suicidal guy. And of course Terushashi’s brother.) It’s as if it never even occurred to saiki to have a sense of urgency about these kinds of things.

Mmmm! Once again I wish I had the Japanese version because I’m sure he is using polite speech here, for a minute.

Well, at least Kaidou acknowledges here that he’s in fact a chunni and therefore doing this on purpose. Which, again, makes me wonder why Saiki would ever believe even for a second that it isn’t an intentional thing. Or maybe it’s just supposed to be taken as sarcasm outright, but the panel where Saiki is confused about the Horns Saiki drawing really is throwing me off. Another thing I should look for raws of, to see if there’s anything to be gleaned from the OG text.

YES! You and saiki are pretty similar. In a way. Yes, he is worrying about his high school debut… in a way.

Saiki, it is entirely understandable that you think Kaidou is an egomaniac, but given his “other personality,” how did you not guess that he’s just lonely??? He literally had to explain his entire thought process for you to get it??? Yeah, emotional EQ in the single digits.

Earlier, I said Kaidou knew full well how to act like a normal person and just doesn’t do it, but he’s definitely awkward. I mean, of course it’s going to be awkward asking strangers if they’ve seen a guy with green eyes, sharp teeth and horns. (I am not quite sure why Kaidou is so committed to the bit myself.)

LMAO?!?

Saiki, that’s your own goddamned fault, lmao. Put your money where your mouth is and shut him down if you’re tired of annoying people “entering your life”… :)

That wraps up 0-6.

There’s a lot going on here, to be sure. In conclusion, I think Saiki works really well here as a character who is technically omniscient, in terms of perspective, but deeply limited in his ability to interpret information.

Alright, the end. Ja mata! 💫

[piko-power]

So, the Knuckles Show...

It was a hassle to attempt and find the show somewhere else (pirate if you wanna watch), and also I had a lot going on that day, BUT!

I have finally finished all six episodes of Knuckles, and my final thoughts...!

...It was pretty good.

Honestly, nothing to ground-breaking and outstanding but it was fantastic and such a lovely treat to hardcore Knuckles fans. Like me lol. (It may not look like it, but TRUST ME THIS SHOW TURNED ME INTO A HARDCORE KNUCKLES FAN.)

All of my thoughts are under the cut, but to make a long story short, I really enjoyed it! (Forgive this post and me I'm not the best at sharing reviews DX)

Now, some things I wanna point out... (MASSIVE SPOILERS AND PERSONAL HEADCANONS AHEAD)

THOUGHTS ON CHARACTERS

I really liked Wade Whipple. He's goofy, and dorky, and he was fantastic for saving his family and Knuckles. His character arc was really interesting to watch, and he's got a lot of funny moments. Him and Knuckles also make a great team. I believe he would make a great Uncle for Knuckles. XD

Knuckles' arc was fantastic too. I was hoping that he realizes that Earth is his home, and he did. The Movie Series version of Knuckles is definitely my favorite version of Knuckles. EVER. Love this character to death. Number one favorite character right now.

The story was pretty good, too. Interesting that Knuckles isn't the only main focus, but I was onboard with the idea that Wade is also in the spotlight. I liked Wade but I love him A LOT.

The whole drama with Wade's family was something that honestly caught me off guard, but in a good way. It's just great to see more of his extended family. (And Wade's mother and is just so sweet and cool.)

Mason and Willoughby were fun to watch. Almost better than Orbot and Cubot, honestly. XD

The Buyer... I kind of forgot about him until the last few episodes. XD Cool villain, though!

Pachacamac... Never thought I would actually enjoy this character. Really wish he got enough screen time, dude is so hilarious. So much better than the Pachacamac we all knew from Adventure 1 pffffft. And hearing Doc Brown's voice coming out of Mac's mouth was the best part. He fits the role perfectly.

WACHOWSKI FAMILY CRUMBS! WE GOT TO SEE MORE OF THE WACHOWSKIS! It was only for one episode, but it's just so refreshing to see Knuckles with his newfound family, especially Tails. (Even though he didn't get enough screentime.)

No Donut Lord... 😔

MY HEADCANONS OF THE EVENTS DURING THE SHOW (and afterwards)

The house is still in construction after the second film. I have a feeling that the Knuckles show took place probably a month or two after the second film. (Or at least after the baseball field scene from the movie.)

And if that's the case, then it's probably why Sonic and Tails haven't called Maddie "mom" yet. Sonic JUST made Donut Dad official, but not hearing Sonic calling Maddie "mom" didn't surprise me, actually. Since he had a mother figure once before, and now she's gone. Sonic is probably still struggling to make Mama Maddie official after that whole mess. 🥺

And also I think Tails does look at Tom and Maddie as his parents, but calls them by their first names because that's what he's most comfortable with for now.

Sonic mentions that Tails and Knuckles are his roommates. ...Something tells me that he hasn't realized the bigger picture yet. 😈 Once the realization hits, it's over for the middle child.

I seriously don't believe Knuckles is sticking with the Whipples. He's got a bed at home, and "pretzel woman" is a motherly title of sorts for Maddie. I just think Knuckles and Wade have formed a really strong bond. Wade is more of a uncle figure for him, but the Whipples are part of the Wachowskis regardless. 💕

I bet Knuckles' grape stash that the moment Knuckles walks back home with Wade, Sonic, Tails and Maddie (and Tom if he came home) freaks the hell out because he just straight up left home without an explanation. Especially since he's grounded and shouldn't have step foot out of the house. But all that matters is that Knuckles is at home with his family. Did this calm everybody down? No, and yes. It's hard to explain. (At least Sonic knows now that Knuckles can finally relax.)

Ever since the events of the Knuckles Show, seeing visions of Pachacamac is pretty normal for Knuckles, whether he needs to be guided for something even if it's small, or he just casually shows up in his dreams just to say "hi." I feel like since he visited Wade while he was unconscious, I think Pachacamac would also visit other people's dreams or visions. It be so goddamn funny if this dude just randomly show up in Sonic's dream, scaring the living daylights out of him, and when he explains it to Knuckles, he's like: "Oh, that's just Mac, he's cool." and Sonic is like: "???????"

THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODES - Fair warning, I've only seen these episodes ONCE (Including some clips I rewatched on Tumblr.) so some things here might be fuzzy or wrong, so bare with me here...

Episode 1 was a great start. I love the dynamic Sonic and Knuckles has. Bummer that we didn't get to see more of them together, but with the power of writing, that problem can be solved! (HUZZAH!) I love the small bit with Knuckles and his mother Maddie after he got grounded and how he just, took it okay with the fact that he's grounded. And I love Sonic trying to help his new buddy out, he's an absolute sweetheart for that. Pachacamac's appearance in the episode took me by surprise and he was such a joy to watch. Love the elderly goofball. Seeing Knuckles and Wade interact was nice, too, even when he gets to talk about his dad. It was a nice moment. And Knuckolas Cage. Best nickname ever, how dare Knuckles decline such a title for a perfect warrior XD

Episode 2 was great. Absolutely love the daydream scene with Wade's plan on saving Knuckles from the G.U.N. agents, and Holding Out For a Hero playing in the background. GOLDEN. Don't remember much else other than that and Knuckles and Wade rocking out to so music. (And Knuckles breaking the radio again.)

Episode 3 is when we get to see Wade's family members, and it was nice. Wanda is one of those siblings that we had and Wendy (is that her name?) is just so lovely. We got to know more of Knuckles' dad, and once more, it was a tender moment between an Echidna and a dork-ass Uncle. 😊 And we got a EPIC fight scene with Knuckles, Wendy and the goons. It was AWESOME. Also, love Wade's room. He's got good taste.

Episode 4... Oh, my God. It was a fever dream. Literally. It was so RIDICULOUS but it was the greatest thing I've ever seen in a long time. XD I love musical numbers that just come out of NOWHERE, and this was one of them! Adam Pally (Wade) in a Knuckles costume is just the most elegant thing. AND ECHIDNA MUPPETS ARE REAL! I WAS HOPING THAT THEY WOULD ACTUALLY BRING IN THE ECHIDNA MUPPET!! Jokes aside, it was a strangely epic episode of Wade going through Knuckles' past in a unique way. And the songs were pretty great. ...You think that's where all the budgeting went? On this gorgeous musical number? /j Also we got more of my boy Pachacamac, being one of my favorite characters besides Knuckles lmao GOD I wish we got more of Pachacamac. I love him so much XD

Episode 5 Is when they arrive at Reno. It was alright. We got to see Wade meeting his dad finally (also Knuckles is using a phone no problem I guess??) I think that's all I remember. WE GOT KNUCKLES WITH THE HAT THOUGH SO YEAH!

Episode 6 is the last one of the mini series and it was pretty kick-ass. More cool fight scenes, with Knuckles and the Agents, him against the Buyer, which was short and sweet, but still pretty intense. Wade and Pete was competing in bowling. Kept forgetting about that, but it was cool regardless. And Wade being the best uncle ever and protecting Knuckles while he was out. Also kind of forgot a lot from this episode, but nonetheless, badass way to end the mini series. Complete with the classic freeze frame of Knuckles and Wade getting a high five! Knuckles realizing that his home is on Earth was such a powerful scene. It was the first Sonic movie all over again.

And yes, there was a pretty quick post credits scene where Knuckles found a song and claimed it was his jam. It was really cute. XD

Really wish there was a scene where Knuckles came back home to the Wachowskis with the family flipping the lid over the fact that he left the house, but in my heart I know damn well it happened. I know this series too well lmao

That's pretty much all I wanna say about how this show made me feel. It was a fun time. Not was insane as Movie 1 and 2, but still as enjoyable.

Honestly, after watching this, I hope we get a Wachowski family TV show, where it's just the family on misadventures, and moments together that are comedic, fluffy, angst, any emotion you wanna feel watching it, and it's just a good time. I just wanna see more of this goofy little growing family. (Also it'd be cool if season 1 was after the first movie because I wanna see Sonic adjusting to his new life with Tom and Maddie and spending traditions and holidays with them before the sequel.) I love this series too much. 😅

This show got me really ambitious to work on my stories and I really wanna show the community how amazing these characters are. (I just need to get an AO3 in the future...)

It feels good to be back on the Wachowski bandwagon.

The Knuckles Show is flawed, but it was a fun time. I love the characters, I love the story, I love the choice of songs they used, and of course, I love Knuckles. This is the best we've ever seen of Knuckles, and I'm proud of how far this little, tough guy has came.

The Echidna Warrior made his debut 30 years ago, and he's never been stronger. Keep on punching, Knuckles! 😎💕

[hyperfixationhobo]

✨JEALOUSY✨

One thing I do when it comes to shipping is just thinking of how possessive or jealous said characters of ship would be. It’s like fucking mandatory at this point for me so you know what that means.

ATSV JEALOUSY!!!!

Ships used in this post are my go twos Goldenpunk and Ghostflower cause they’re my OTPs. (Since I’m following the movies a bit let’s just say that Pavitr and Gayatri just has a mutual break up and are besties okay? Okay, we don’t tolerate Gayatri slander here.) No like? No read.

Ok right off the bat Hobie is definitely not the jealous type at all. Nada, zilch, nope. To me he’s just confident and knows that Pavitr isn’t gonna go run off with some random person so he doesn’t really feel the need to be jealous in the first place. But don’t get it twisted there’s a difference between jealousy and anger. Such as if Pav is getting uncomfortable in a situation where someone keeps on trying to push themselves onto him after Pav has said no. Yeah Hobie is gonna threaten the hell out of them but if it continues he’s not afraid to fight. Doesn’t matter if you’re a boy, girl, or whatever you better know sign language cause all you gonna be seeing is hands. He is very big about boundaries and doesn’t play when it comes to it as well.

I can’t really see Gwen as the jealous type. “BuT pAwS DIDNTYOUSEEHERDRAGGINGMILESAWAYFROMMARGO!!!!!!” Yes yes I know I know but this whole thing for me is happening after the whole multiverse chase Miles to the ends of the earth thing happened. So yeah she’ll feel a tad bit jealous when Miles gets flirted on by another girl (he doesn’t even notice that he’s being flirted on unless it’s really obvious let’s be honest) but it’s quickly overridden by guilt that since she betrayed Miles and really hurt him emotionally that yeah maybe he does deserve someone better than me someone that won’t hurt him so badly. Miles is quick to break that train of thought tho. The moment he sees that look on her face he’s quick to realize that he’s being flirted on and wraps his arm around Gwen’s waist and is like “This is my girlfriend Gwen by the way, you two should hang out some time, it sounds like you guys have some stuff in common.” And reassures her that no one in the entire multiverse could ever make his heart race like her.

Miles yeah he’s the jealous type. You can’t tell me this walking ray of sunflowers doesn’t have some type of tiny insecurities after that whole fucking being body slammed into a damm train thing and having someone tell you you’re a mistake thing happen to him. NO ONE CAN WALK OUT OF THAT THING WITHOUT AT LEAST A TINY BIT OF DOUBT. Also it was obvious with anytime Gwen mentioned staying over at Hobie’s during the second movie. He’s not very like obvious with it, it’s more like when he sees someone flirting with Gwen he stands closer to her and “casually” wraps his arm around around her shoulders. He’s basically the song Jealous by Nick Jonas and no one can ever convince me otherwise. He gets why people would flirt with Gwen cause who the hell wouldn’t his girlfriend is fucking amazing but dude back tf up she’s taken.

Pav……this man…this man lowkey fucking possessive. He’s not even fucking subtle about it, while Miles might glare a bit this man is is sending fucking death threats with his eyes. It’s not even from insecurity too this man managed to date Gayatri who is a fucking model and now he’s dating Hobie who was also a fucking model this man is confident as shit. It’s more along the lines that everyone just keeps on fucking staring and flirting with Hobie (and he can’t blame them have you seen his boyfriend?) and honestly it’s becoming annoying to be like “yeah MY BOYFRIEND is amazing isn’t he? I’m so glad we’re dating.” All the damm time cause cause Hobie finds it fucking hilarious when Pav is “jealous”, so he makes it clear that they’re dating from the very beginning. Anytime someone is flirting with Hobie he walks next to his boyfriend and like snatches his hand into his own very fucking obviously. There’s no way people don’t immediately catch on and back off. And we’ve seen the way he’s talked about Gayatri there’s no way he doesn’t gush and go on and on about Hobie and how his boyfriend is so hot and is in the band and can play guitar and has amazing fashion taste and such. He’ll fawn over Hobie to anyone who has ears this man doesn’t shut up.

[fizzigigsimmer]

Things that drive me insane about the basketball scene. A list:

1. The choreography. Bruh. Just watch anyone in the background and you’ll see what I mean. It’s so fucking useless it’s hilarious.  😂 😂 😂 Why are there so many people just kind of squatting and waving their arms? Where is Steve supposed to be dribbling to? Why are Billy and Steve spaced so far apart initially? Like okay, at first it serves so that we can watch Steve do ‘the move’ to establish that he’s that bitch. As a Midwest kid growing up in 90s Bulls mania who never mastered the art of the dribble, I instantly get it. But the whole thing would be more effective if this whole scene didn’t look like they told all the other actors (besides Dacre and Joe) five minutes ago what the scene was about; and then just told them to do their best impression of basketball players. “Just spoon each other and wave your arms guys, it’ll look great.”

So anyway you’ve got Steve doing a fairly decent dribble that just looks sad and unimpressive against the back drop of meaningless and confusing shuffling. And then ruh-oh, he locks eyes with Billy and we have ourselves a challenger! Which would also be more effective if dude wasn’t on the other side of the country and nowhere near a basket. You know? So how he and Steve ended up gridlocked bumping humps and junk in the first place is really one of life’s great mysteries, because it looks like Steve has nothing but court and no reason to go toward him at all. But here we are, grinding. The gift that keeps on giving. Which leads me to the second and last point on this list.

2. The acting choices. It’s the tongues out and the open mouths sure, but also those micro smiles Joe and Dacre either couldn’t help or actively chose, and I don’t know which idea drives me more insane honestly. Whatever the reason, they smile and it leaves us with the impression that the characters are enjoying the struggle.You can feel how much they enjoy playing with each other (yes each other, they’re in their own little world). It’s a palpable raw energy that picks us up drops us right into homoerotic tension; because there’s no real reason for either character to be enjoying this moment as much as the energy in the room suggests they are. They literally just met!

But I have seen enough slowed down gifs and edits to play back the ways Billy’s  eyes go soft and kind of awed and Steve’s mouth goes slack like he’s being titillated, from memory. From “Harrington right?” to tongues out, bodies ready. I’m just saying that the rituals are intricate. And Billy should be alive slaying monsters with his boyfriend.

[hustlemeanokay]

The Ghoul v. Lucy v. Maximus Fallout *TV* Fandom Discord

I put "Fallout TV Fandom" discord because well... I've been in the FO fandom for years now and this whole implied racism thing is something new, at least from what I've seen and I've seen a lot in the fandom. This is something that honestly hasn't had a place. Because, there are Ghouls for starters, Synths second, and Zealots galore third in the games. Also, also - the games are set up for the players to assume that the Chinese (the "Red Menace") are this world's punching bag. So, this whole... people shipping Lucy with the Ghoul automatically equals racism thing? Yeah, I don't buy it.

Before I go any further, I want to put a disclaimer here - I'm a huge supporter of shipping all the ships. If you ship Lucy x Max, yaaas honey, get it. If you ship the Ghoul x Lucy, right onnnn, wooo! If you ship the Ghoul x Max?! Rock on, you do you, dude! Poly ship? The more the merrier! Seriously, ship all the ships. Now... as I was saying....

I don't buy it... for one big reason and this is it:

Fallout fandom ❤s Ghouls. For years now, Ghouls with attitude or tragic backstories immediately catch the attention of the fandom and are automatically slotted into the "THIS DUDE WINS" category.

[and this got really long so more below the cut so I don't clog up the dashboard]

The moment "the Ghoul" showed up with his cowboy get up and snarky attitude, smirk, and badass strut? Poor Max didn't have a snowball's chance in hell. And it had nothing to do with Max. Nothing at all. He could be this awesome character, he could be anything and everything and it wouldn't matter. Because a smartass Ghoul with a tragic backstory and a secret heart of gold? Forget-a-bout-it. Hook line and sinker for the FO fandom.

Personally? Team Coop all the way. And I'll tell ya why. I personally cannot stand the Brotherhood of Steel. And Max is just as in it as Danse ever was, or any of the other initiates. He is in it. And I get why. I totally get it. Also, he's a coward. He knows how to manipulate people, good intentioned or not. And he uses it. But he uses it in this kind of... sneaky way. He had lots of golden opportunities to tell Lucy the truth about who he was, including when they first spoke. She would have been none the wiser on what happened to his Knight (because fuck that guy, Titus was an asshole). But he chose to keep lying. For no reason other than it made him feel important. Lying to protect someone, their feelings or literally. Lying to preserve a secret that isn't yours, etc. Yeah, shitty a little but yeah, okay. But lying to literally make yourself better? When there's no need for that shit? Na.

Now, I know the arguments in the for column for Max. I get it. I do. He's a product of his environment, as are we all. But, he's kind of a loser. In that, he gets this big bad suit of power armor because to him that represents being a hero. And he thinks he's going to like go out and stop crime with it. Sure, a little juvenile but whatevs, that's completely fine. But, he almost immediately starts showing off for a pretty girl - which admittedly, probably not something he's seen a lot of (and Lucy's no better here with her big ol' anime eyes flashing hearts at him). But the point is... there are people around and Max is just laying waste to that place just as bad as the Ghoul is, with zero regard for collateral damage. Granted, no one got hurt, but that's not the point. The point is, if he was about the whole "knight" thing? He's completely missing the mark. Yes, I believe the BoS is corrupt ten ways to Sunday but that doesn't mean Max does. He's supposed to believe in things like honor and what it means to be a knight etc. The things he's been taught on top of the whole "seek out old world tech". Now, Max is funny - I will give him that. He's hilarious but at the same time - kind of one note. And again, product of his environment. But when he comes up on Lucy and her Dad, as it's been pointed out before, he doesn't even stop to see what's going on. He just frees Henry and doesn't even think. But that's the core of who he is. He acts first, thinks later. A lot of people are like that. Lucy is like that when she first leaves the vault. Both her and Max have been sheltered, in different ways but still sheltered. Difference between them is that Lucy is adapting and growing, learning.

So, you take this naïve, kinda boring Brotherhood of Steel sorta-Knight and pitch him against the Ghoul. Two hundred year old druggie who is like this strange combo of all of the fandom's most beloved Ghouls to date. There was no contest. To see this man who's been twisted by everything this world has thrown at him, who has sunk behind a role so far that it's not even an act anymore just to protect himself from all of it take on the Wasteland with now a dog and Lucy with him. Mister travels alone now not traveling alone? Of course people are gonna eat that shit up.

Now, personally, I think a future society, especially an apocalyptical one like Fallout, it would basically have nothing but tan people, where everyone is just a mix of everything because when you're facing down something like a fifteen foot tall fucking chameleon with razors for claws (deathclaw) - suddenly, race doesn't seem like that much of a fucking issue.

BUT I digress, a lot - point is... I think if it was Cooper Howard vs. Maximus? Max would win overall. But... the Ghoul vs. Maximus? There was no way Max ever had a shot. (With regards to shipping).

Also, also... on a final note.