#because they thought their current coach was also going to be leaving Tumblr posts

[justalittlebluetiefling]

I haven't been involved with coaching for almost 3 months now and somehow I am still getting dragged into the drama.

[ozzgin]

I love your work! you have such a fun take on yandere's and I would love to see what kind of yandere hcs you could cook up for a host-club / paid to go on dates with you yandere ❤️ double points if you can make it so that the reader is never really one to cross a line or think the yandere really likes them...

If you don't want to do this prompt tho I completely understand ❤️

The idea makes me a little nostalgic as it gives me Ouran vibes. Also reminded me I've never played 'Men of Yoshiwara' past the prologue, which also has male courtesans ready to service you. In any case, it's definitely something I can expand on! :)

Yandere! Host x Reader

You've never considered yourself to be the type frequenting host clubs. Yet the loneliness is becoming noticeable and perhaps it's your lack of experience keeping you out of the dating scene. Mingling with paid professionals could prepare you for a future boyfriend. Except your assigned host has other plans in mind for you.

Content: gender neutral reader, inexperienced reader, obsessive behavior, manipulation

Ah, you definitely don't belong here. He can tell within seconds and he hasn't even reached the table yet. You're nervously readjusting the sleeves of your shirt - do you usually not wear such outfits? - and merely glance around the room for a brief moment before casting your eyes back down in sheepish modesty. Well, not necessarily a sight of unpreceded novelty. Many people are intrigued by the idea of a host club, so even just idle curiosity is enough incentive for one to end up among the charismatic crowd of paid affections. Today it's you who has stumbled into the hungry mouth of the wolf, and he happens to be the one to entertain you away from whatever unpleasantries are currently consuming you.

He gently stretches his slender fingers across your shoulder, a feathery touch light enough as to not startle you. You look up and acknowledge his presence, ready to stand up for introductions. His hold on you is firm, letting you know there is no need to leave the comfort of your sofa. "Now then, this isn't a job interview. You don't need to be so formal." He explains with a chuckle. You nod. Embarrassingly enough, your eyes are glued to his face for longer than what you'd consider polite admiration. A waste of good looks is your immediate thought. Surely someone as stunning as him could've worked as a model or actor. You suspect he isn't as enthusiastic to meet you as his voice leads one to believe, so the ability to pretend certainly isn't missing.

One peek at the table next to you, and the answer quickly presents itself. An older woman is inspecting the menu, surrounded by multiple bottles of champagne whose name even you recognize. You doubt the average acting career could provide this amount of luxury. The corners of your lips curl slightly upwards in a pitiful self awareness. Sadly for this guy, you're not a big spender. Whether he, too, is aware of this disappointing fact is impossible to tell. His handsome features remain cheerfully relaxed. "Tell me about yourself. What brings a darling like you here?" He inquires graciously, resting his chin on the back of his hands as he settles before you with an intent gaze.

You narrate your hardship: whether because of your looks or your awkwardness, something impedes you from having acquired a partner; and so the idea of gaining experience through less orthodox means came to fruition. Your host listens carefully, refilling your glass every now and then with a compassionate frown, lips parted in unspoken sympathy. Of course, he understands. Naturally. Once you're finished, he straightens himself in newfound determination: worry not, he will be your coach in love.

Thus begins the unusual partnership. You hadn't expected the man to readily agree to such a ridiculous request. A handful of visits have made it clear to you he's in high demand, most likely one of the top earners. Why would he waste his precious (and otherwise profitable) time with a humble customer like you? Maybe it's bad form to refuse lower paid offers too often, so he's keeping you for balance. You'll never know. His professionalism betrays no hint of annoyance.

You cannot help but marvel at his masterful lying. It becomes quite clear to you why so many people fall helplessly in love with paid hosts. Everything is executed with the utmost care for detail. The loving caress of the cheek he occasionally initiates, seemingly unprompted. The long, ardent stares into your eyes, as you must practice your eye contact. His hot lips brushing against your fingers while he spoils you with diminutives and sickly sweet words of appreciation.

You frequently have to remind yourself that everything is dictated by a contract. A code of conduct meant to be replicated for you and all other clients coming afterwards. How many other poor souls fawn over this alluring devil? You wouldn't want to burden him with an additional customer who forgets boundaries. You know your place too well.

Admirable manners. Frustratingly so. He wishes you'd just give in already and drop the shy act around him. You've caught his interest from the moment he spotted you in that cluttered, crowded room reeking of overpriced alcohol and solitude. Everything about you signaled blindingly clear: you're someone others can easily take advantage of. To think you would've landed right in his hands, to be molded as he pleases. The little sob story about being inexperienced with men, your clumsy attempts to follow along his flirts. Oh, you're just begging to be defiled. Again, and again and again, until there's nothing left of you. Then he'd caringly patch you back together and start anew. His very own corner of innocence.

The indecent daydreams are cut short when you proudly announce, during one of your dates, that you finally feel confident enough to pursue a genuine partner. You have booked a nice hotel room for this occasion; One last gesture of grandeur to show your gratitude for all the advice and love (even though it wasn't genuine). He's sitting on the edge of the plush mattress, dumbfounded, fiddling with the thick, ornate border of the bed runner. Huh? What the hell are you talking about? He's spent all this time getting to know you. What gets you flustered and bothered, what makes you excited, sad, anxious, angry, bored. He taught you how to come out of your shell. Why, so you can go ahead and waste yourself on some fucking idiot?

"My, aren't you eager. You haven't even had your first kiss." He says with a cheeky smile. "I think I can manage-" you want to say, but he quickly interrupts with a curt: "No one likes an amateur kisser". You're immediately silenced. His voice sounds cold, with a hint of anger in it. "I'm sorry, darling love, it's true." He resumes in an entirely different tonality, dragging his words with an eerie kindness attached to them. He tuts a little, turning towards you and patting his knees. There, there, don't look so deflated. If a simple observation like his hurt you this much, how would you handle the much meaner, downright heartless world out there?

Such is reality. Men are cruel and you had the bad luck to be born with a gentle heart. He delicately guides you to sit in his lap, cupping your burning face between his large hands. He knows this expression too well - you're humiliated. And thus, can he truly allow anyone else out there to see you so vulnerable like this? No, this kind of intimacy is reserved for him. You must understand. He has disciplined you to his liking, and simultaneously learned all the nooks and crannies of your being. It's too late to go back to a simple host and client relationship.

"Why don't you practice with me first, love?" He breaks the silence, placing his lips against your forehead in encouragement. You feel a sudden pressure faintly throbbing underneath you. "T-the kiss?" You ask hesitantly, trying to ignore the sensation and squirming in his tightening hold.

"Everything."

[clawsdevour]

his first crush

wc: 1.2k content warning: ur atsumu's first ever crush and he's all nervous and shy and silly!, fluff, atumu x reader, not proofread

note: this is for that one anon req!! im sorry that i chose to write atsumu instead of hoshiumi b/c genuninely i'm still not very familiar with hoshiumi as a character!! T_T but i still hope you enjoy this!!!!!

ㅤ۪⊹ ꣑ৎ

“The girls are gonna practice alongside us this whole week, you better behave” you overhead from the back. A familiar voice jogging through your mind while you attempt to look back to see who said that.

It was Shinsuke Kita, Inarizaki’s boys volleyball captain. He was explaining the current situation the girls’ gym was in and why you were gonna be sharing their courts to the Miya twins who’ve stopped by at your class.

A recognizable blonde behind his grey haired twin was trying to sneakily look through your class. His eyes squinted and widened in excitement the moment he found out where you sat by the window. 

Atsumu had a big fat crush on you and everyone on the boys’ volleyball team knew. The moment school started after summer ended was when you found out you had class with one of them. Meaning, that that person may update Atsumu your every action if they really wanted to.

When you transferred into Inarizaki last year, you were a complete nobody. Not in a way where everyone disliked you, but in a sense where you absolutely knew no one. That was until you tried out for your favorite sport, volleyball, and successfully made it onto the team! From there you met your fellow friends, and classmates that they introduced you to. That of course, also lead to Atsumu’s discovery being you. 

One day you stayed a bit longer in the gym where no one else was in building. You were practicing your serves, in hopes to get better before your next match. From the corner of your eye you saw a blonde man peak his head in, feeling his intense eyes resting on you, but too focused to look back. 

Your dedication towards volleyball and your team got you caught up in his heart. He only came to the girls’ gym to look for his trainer, but was swept off his feet by his first crush ever, you.

“Oh my god Samu, she sits right ‘der” you heard Atsumu loudly whisper from behind Osamu before leaving.

You weren’t annoyed or disliked the fact that Atsumu liked you. You thought it was kinda silly how he chose you to crush on, overall he was popular amongst the girls in Inarizaki. 

Either way you weren’t sure what the rest of the school year is gonna bring but you know it’ll be a very interesting year before graduation.

“Okay girls, remember to be respectful to the boys and their coach because they’re allowing us practice in their gym this week due to construction,” your trainer explained to your team. You’re all standing in front of the gym while your coach continues. 

A few girls in the back were gossiping about the Miya twins and how attractive they are while you smiled under your straight face, a bit excited to see how Atsumu will react the moment he sees you walk in.

“For the first fifteen minutes, you guys will be stretching and warming up together to get along since we’re gonna be in here for a while. The boys’ coach will be subbing in for me while I prepare atheletic sheets to hand out, got it?” A loud ‘Yes!’ roaring from your group. 

Your coach slides open the door, excusing your guys’ intrusion. The boys’ trainer walks over to the entrance to greet you all, the sounds of squeaking coming to a halt to follow behind their trainer. 

When you’re all situated in the gym, their coach is going through all the basic rules about his courts and shows you which one you’ll be practicing in as well as where the balls are kept. Everyone’s bowing and introducing each other, of course a small crowd around the twins as always. They both somewhat ignored the girls, waiting for their trainer’s next order.

“Please choose a partner to get warmed up with for 15 minutes before you both split off and practice in your teams!” yelling across all the chit chat, catching everyone’s attention before they all go off to pick partners.

You’re looking down at everyone’s shoes, knowing everyone’s either already partnered up or already searching for one of the guys. A few steps in, a pair of familiar shoes catches your attention while you look up. It was no else but Atsumu Miya.

“Um… HI! Do you need a partner?” A bit louder than usual due to anxiousness, his hand reaching out to you with the other scratching the back of his neck to calm his high nerves. His large hooded eyes inspecting you in your casual shorts and tee.

“Oh..! Sure,” gladly agreeing amongst the murmurs. His hand reaches out to yours, leading you towards the volleyball cart in the back to select your ball, trying to get away from the crowd that gradually dispersed. While choosing a ball, his piercing tension is so dense the pressure’s making you sweat in fear.

“How bout you choose? You probably know which one’s best!” Turning around rapidly, pushing him closer to the cart nervously trying to get rid of this awkward atmosphere you created.

“O-Okay..” turning his head to seek a ball that’s in good condition. His heart is pumping like crazy, he can’t help but swallow hard. He wants this to go well and to build a stable connection with you throughout the week.

The moment he turned around was when you started to get down to stretch. Taking your mind off that blonde to get all loose, thank god because he would’ve continued to stare you down while you were choosing a ball.

“Let’s practice over there,” facing you again with a wide smile, he’s pointing at the corner of the gym where it’ll just be you two. Everyone’s already finished stretching, either in line to grab a ball where the front of the gym was or peppering to get more warmed up.

You agreed and followed him, he’s walking so stiffly. Did he forget to stretch? You can’t help but have these random thoughts engulfing your mind while you analyzed Atsumu now that you get to see him up close. 

Blonde hair that so needed to be toned with purple shampoo, his brown hair growing in and peeking from the bottom. His tall and broad stature was attractive.. Not to mention his face. Him and his twin are highkey attractive, you had to admit.

“Pass!!” you shouted at him the moment threw the ball in the air. Somehow catching him off guard.

“Sorry about that. Kinda got the jitters, ‘er something like that. Ya know what, ignore that.. That was embarrassing” his pale face flushed a hot red in humiliation from what he just said. You tell him it’s okay and to continue, hearing him course under his breath.

To be honest, you thought that it was kinda cute that he had this more vulnerable and shy side to his tough guy act he always puts up. For once, he was the one who’s more flustered than even just a regular girl.  Before he began to practice with you, all you could think about is how this was gonna be a long but fun week.

masterlist here

[totaly-obsessed]

Hi! Can you do a Mary earps and reader fic where the reader is England medic or coach and all the team love her and Mary is soooo proud and in love but also wants all the attention from her girl plwaseeee

Comfort

Mary Earps x reader request

-> Reader is the Lionesses medic, and also Mary's wife

-> Talk of Alex Greenwood's recent injury

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Mary loved National Camp – all her friends playing together, representing their country. But her favorite thing about it? Being with you 24/7.

As one of the teams’ medics and physios, you accompanied them to every training and game, wearing your wife’s jersey beneath the team jacket. And it was not one of the shirts that you can buy, but one of Mary’s personal ones, one from the euros. So not only were you a good-luck charm but you were also wearing one.

Mornings at Saint George’s Park were your second favorite, right behind breakfast in bed with Mary. While you definitely were not a morning person, your wife was and the early training start didn’t help you either, so at eight in the morning, you were sat at a table in the dining hall – a steamy cup of coffee in front of you, just as you liked it. Mary had given it to you when you returned from your shared room, having to go back because you had forgotten your bag.

The brunette was currently getting food for the both of you, while you tried to wake up with the coffee. “Doc!” You were in fact not a doctor of any kind, but Lucy didn’t care either way and just threw herself down in one of the chairs next to you. The defender handed you a small chap-stick-like tube. “It’s a wake-up-stick. Thought ya could need it.” You smiled at her gratefully, thanking her with a quick squeeze of her hand. After applying the stick, you waited, and while you didn’t notice an immediate difference it smelled nice.

“Aye Miss Earps! How have ya been?” It was Ella’s loud voice that eventually pulled you out of your sleep-induced trance. The younger girl sat down next to you – in Mary’s chair - as she excitedly told you a story of something Alessia had done, who sat on her other side, followed by Garce. Eventually, Esme, Hempo, and Maya joined in as well. The table had become too small after Grace sat down, but no one cared. The footballer just pulled in more tables and chairs, making the circle bigger and bigger until Mary finally came back. “Oi, what’s this then?”

The entire Lionesses squad had squished around a couple of tables, exited chatter filling the room, with you somewhere in between. “Up ya get Tooney.” The brunette could whine and pout as much as she liked but Mary was ruthless, wanting to sit next to her wife. You thanked her with a quick kiss, rolling your eyes as you heard Rachel yell “There’s children here – perverts!” Your favorite goalkeeper was quick to yell “And you’re one of them!” back at the blonde as the table started laughing.

You loved this. While you were not a part of the team that was on the pitch, the girls loved you. For you, and not for being Mary’s wife.

After eating you had to leave earlier, needing to set up the treatment room, checking if everything was where it was supposed to be. Georgia was the first to come in, wanting some numbing cream on her ankle as she had an incredibly sore bruise there. Next was Ellie, who got her neck taped as she had some tension there. After all the smaller complaints had been dealt with, your very favorite patient entered the room, hugging you from behind to announce her arrival.

“My turn, Lovie.” It was a nice little ritual you had built up over time – Mary would sit down and apply ice spray to her hands before you started taping her left one, laying a kiss on top when finished, before repeating the same thing for her second hand. Then came your favorite part – taping her shoulders. After making sure that no one else was in the room and that there were no cameras your wife would take off her shirt, pulling the straps of her sports bra to the sides as well as she could.

This was also the brunette’s favorite part, as you massaged her tense shoulders, layering them in soft kisses – marveling at her muscles as you started taping them. “Like what you see, my love?” She would always ask, a teasing smirk on her face before she would pull you into a passionate kiss – the last one both of you would get before the end of training.

It was the last day before the England-Belgium game and the small training session had gone by without any problems, sending the players to recovery.

But it was the next day, matchday, that you and your abilities would be tested.

In the seventh minute, the game was interrupted with a call of ‘handball into the area by Chloe Kelly’ which meant that there would be a freekick for Belgium in an incredibly dangerous position. Mary had set the girls up to her liking but the ball was struck with perfection, curling nicely, and finding the back of the net – leaving your wife to catch the rebound ball as she laid on the ground. It was devastating, knowing that she would blame herself for it. But it was only the seventh minute, leaving the whole game up for grabs.

And then it happened.

In the Eighteenth minute, a long ball from the Belgian goalkeeper found its way to the other side of the pitch, leaving Alex Greenwood and Jassina Blom to collide with their head against each other. Directly in front of the England bench.

Before the blonde even hit the ground, you had started running with your colleague grabbing the bag.

Alex was lying head-down on the pitch as the stadium got silent in shock. You kneeled by her head, getting as close to her as you managed. “Can you hear me, Alex?” But you quickly noticed that she couldn’t answer you, she was in too much pain. “Tap your finger once for yes, twice for no. Can you hear me?” One tap.

She was still conscious.

“Have you had more than one concussion before?” One tap.

Fuck.

Knowing the risks of multiple head injuries, it was important to react in a proper manner. Most of the players were standing at Sarina’s side as she gave instructions, but you could feel their scared stares finding you again and again as you tried to hide Alex from the world. Mary didn’t stand too far away from you, terrified that you were on the pitch. As much as she loved you, when you were on the pitch something bad had happened.

You were checking the injured player’s pulse and her pupils, as everything showed signs of a terrible concussion – but with previous injuries, this was a ticking time bomb. Just a minute later the field doctors entered the pitch, stretcher in hand as they walked towards you.

The Belgian player sat up again, a bandage on her head, but it was too risky to sit Alex up. Any sudden movement could send her into a seizure and the aftereffects could be immense. With all of the doctors at your side now, you carefully turned the player on her back, after getting confirmation from a professional you had placed a wet rag over her eyes, trying to shield them from the harsh lights.

Mary was standing behind you, offering her legs as something to lean against, which you gladly accepted as her teammate was heaved onto the stretcher as carefully as possible. In the 31st minute, Alex was finally stretchered off by the medical professionals as you sat back down in your seat – heart pumping incredibly fast.

The game was lost, Belgium winning 3-2 the shock of Alex’s injury still sitting deep.

Back in the team hotel, it was quiet, they had not only lost an important game, but Alex their friend and teammate was in the hospital.

Mary sat next to you on one of the big couches as some of the younger ones looked for comfort in the two of you. It was Chloe who just blatantly sat down in your lap, cuddling into your wife and yourself looking for warmth and shelter. And it did not take too much longer until you were covered in players as they flocked towards you like a herd of lost sheep that were looking for comfort.

[l-e-e-woso]

Movin’ - Alexia Putellas

Italics = Spanish

2x Ballon D’or winner Alexia Putellas is set to move to Chelsea from Barcelona.

Fans are shocked to find out that Alexia Putellas is leaving Barcelona after 10 years.

Chelsea signed Alexia Putellas for a world record transfer fee of £700,000.

Alexia Putellas Instagram Post

“To all the fans, I will always love Barcelona with my whole heart but I need a new challenge. I was at Barca from a young age being there shaped who I am today, I would not be where I am today without the coaches and players of Barca. Especially the fans without you none of this would be possible.

To my Barca family, just know that I will always support you. You have my full support as long as you are not playing against Chelsea. I am only a phone call or text away, I will always be there for you all. You are all my family and I love you.

To Chelsea, I look forward to playing in blue, I’m told it brings out the colour in my eyes. I’m excited to win more trophies and have a new challenge. I cannot wait to meet my new teammates and training staff.

Thank you! Forca Barca! Forca Chelsea!”

Hear what Chelsea manager Emma Hayes has to say…

“I never thought the day where I would be able to sign Alexia Putellas would ever exist. Everyone knows how amazing of a player and person she is, she will fit in perfectly with all of the girls.

The way that she plays and how confident she is on the pitch is what we need in the team right now.

From what I know Alexia had a lot of teams trying to sign her but she chose Chelsea for a reason. To win trophies, to be challenged in a new way and she was really intrigued with the WSL. The WSL usually has about three or four teams that are very close on the table which no other country has. I think the fact that the result could change at any moment makes Alexia ecstatic to play here at Chelsea.”

______________________________

Alexia was very nervous when she got to the entrance of Chelsea’s womens training centre but she saw you leaning against the side of the building making her smile widely as she hadn’t seen you in awhile. She walked over to you wrapping you in a hug and kissed you passionately.

“I missed you.” Alexia says as a tear or two fell down her face as you held her against you. “I missed you too. Don’t cry!! You’ll make me cry and I won’t be able to stop cause of these stupid hormones!” You say as you wipe Alexia’s tears with the pads of your thumbs.

“How is my cariño?” Alexia says as she rubs her hand slowly over your stomach which was rather big since you were now 8 and a half months pregnant, you could literally go into labour at any moment.

The way that Alexia treated you now that you were pregnant made you fall in love with her even more than before, it made you even more excited to see how she was going to be with your daughter. You saw how little kids looked up to Alexia as a footballer and how she treated them like the most precious people in the world.

“Oh y’know apart from constantly pressing on my bladder making me need to go to the toilet every five seconds, she is all good!” You said as you lent into Alexia’s side as the two of you caught up before you would both have to go inside so Alexia could meet the rest of the Chelsea girls.

“I’m glad. I never thought we would finally get to start our family. I am so excited to meet her.” Alexia smiled at the thought of finally meeting the little girl that you were currently growing in your womb.

Alexia knew that her mother, Eli and her sister, Alba could not wait to meet the baby girl either. Eli had been waiting for a grandchild since you and Alexia got married three years ago which you understood in a way because you knew that Eli thought that she may never have a grandchild so when you told her you were pregnant she was ecstatic. Alba was also over the moon when she found out you were pregnant, she looked up to both you and Alexia so much so having a mini version of the two of you combined was amazing to her.

“Ale, you know you are going to have to speak English around the girls? None of them know a word of Spanish. I tried to teach them some but they found it too complicated. I think the only people you may need help understanding is Erin and possibly Sam but other than those two you should be fine. Plus I find it hot when you speak English, I love your accent.” You say to Alexia as you start to pull her into the training building by her hand and wink at her which makes her blush. It wasn’t that she couldn’t speak English she just preferred speaking Spanish because it made her less nervous, she also knew that she was more likely to fumble her words in English.

“Yes I know, mi amor. You have told me many times, almost everyday…Good to know maybe I’ll talk to you in English more often.” Alexia smirks as she sees you turn towards her and you glare at her playfully before continuing down the hallway.

______________________________

Eventually, you arrive at what everyone likes to call the team bonding room and you look at Alexia, she has a never expression as she grips your hand tightly.

“They will love you okay? I’ll be there the entire time. We most likely won’t have much time before you go to training.” You tell Alexia as she takes a deep breath to calm herself down which helps a lot.

“Okay thank you, mi amor. Vamos!” Alexia smiles at you, giving you a quick kiss before you open the door to the team bonding room which is filled with most of the Chelsea players.

Some of the girls looked up from their conversations, giving the both of you a quick smile before returning to their conversations. They didn’t want to overwhelm Alexia because they knew that she was nervous about meeting them due to you talking to them before Alexia had arrived.

The first person to come up and talk to Alexia was Magda. “Welcome to the team! It’s about time we get a Spanish person on this team.” Magda tries to lighten the situation which had clearly made Alexia really nervous, she hadn’t been to a new club in ten years so she had forgotten how it felt until now.

“Thank you. I’m excited to be here, not so excited about the weather though, it’s a big change from the weather in Spain.” Alexia says as she catches a glimpse of the rain through the window and grimaces slightly at the thought of training in that weather.

“I bet.” Millie laughs from where she was sitting talking to Sam and turns to look at Alexia. “Guess it’s time to get to know you, Alexia.” Magda says as she gestures for the both of you to sit down and you quickly do as you sigh in relief.

“Jesus, I swear this baby is gonna be the size of Bigfoot by the time she comes out.” You mutter unaware that Fran who was sitting next to you had heard you and she bursts out laughing. “Did you just call your child Bigfoot?” Fran chuckles as you glare at her before playfully hitting her arm and she goes to playfully hit you back when you grab her hand. “Feel this.” You mutter as you unzip your jacket and place Fran’s hand on your stomach where the baby was kicking like mad, making her eyes go wide in amazement.

Alexia watches you with a loving gaze as she talks with a few of the girls who wanted to know more about her. “How come you choose Chelsea? From what I understand you had a lot of offers.” Sam asks Alexia with curiosity and everyone wants to know the answer.

“The main reason is that we are about to start a family and I wanted to be here for all of it, I didn’t want to miss more than I already have. I also need to get out of Spain to have a new challenge and I’m sure that will happen here. I want to push myself as much as I can to help to win more trophies.” Alexia explains to everyone as they all nod along to her answer while smiling at her. Then Alexia looks over to you like she was asking permission to tell the team something to which you nodded.

“Also…after my contract ends in four years time, I’m going to be retiring. Dios mio, I will never get used to saying that..” Alexia mutters the last sentence while her new teammates looked at each other in shock that Alexia would be retiring and she chose Chelsea to be her last team. “Your going to retire?” Erin said kinda shocked, it isn’t everyday that a world class player announces that she will finish her career in four years. “Si, I have been thinking about retiring for quite a long time but that's not for a while.” Alexia said with a smile on her face as you held her hand to comfort her.

“Time for training!” You shout, scaring a couple of your teammates and everyone starts moving to the training field. Alexia grabbed your hand to help you up from your seat and walk with you slowly to a seat on the sidelines of the training pitch.

______________________________

Alexia was doing really well while training with her new teammates at Chelsea and was having fun, joking around with them and getting to know them.

She was laughing with Magda and Pernille when she heard her name being shouted by you on the sidelines making her face drop because it sounded like you were in pain, which you were since you were now in labour. She looked to Emma who just nodded and motioned her to go with you, she sprinted over to you.

It didn’t take long to get to the hospital, you weren’t sure that she went the speed limit but at that precise moment in time you didn’t care much about that you just wanted to get this baby out of you.

It was surprisingly quite a quick birth, at 7:48pm you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl called Elena Putellas Segura.

—————————————————

Taglist:   @sofakingwoso @xxforeverinadayxx

[florenceafternoon]

━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━

This post is just some of my current favourites because I don’t think I have the energy to make a master list right now. Personally, I like to read aus so if you're looking for canon stuff this isn't the post for you.

For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries on ao3.

in pursuit of the study of magic by @thequibblah

An immortal magician au or, "we had a really bad breakup three hundred years ago, but neither of us realised the other is immortal until we met today"

I recommend you listen to About You while reading this

Growing (in love) by casablancas21 (on ao3)

Uni au where "James Potter has a lot going on for him. His uni years have been the best he's ever had and his friendliness, popularity and charm go a long way to place him as the go-to bloke if one's looking for a good time. Nevertheless, his final year of school finds him struggling to keep up with the social energy that once enthralled him. He's having a hard time figuring out how to set his own boundaries and what to do about his future. He's also having a really hard time figuring out Lily Evans."

I must admit that Lily's comebacks are so good I've used some during class debates in sociology this year. Truly, the dialogue and dynamics between characters in this fic are so good. Pretty sure this is the one with the kebab

Golden Waltz by evanspotter (on ao3)

Lily Evans wants to be the best ice dancer in the world, which means she needs to find a dance partner ASAP. After two failed partnerships, her coach gives her one last option: James Potter.

This fic is the reason I neglected revising for midterms. It also caused me to go into a deep dive into watching tapes of Olympic ice dance programs specifically Virtue and Moir.

on the way home by keep_driving (on ao3)

Lily was living abroad and pinning from afar. After an abundance of "phone calls, mixtapes, and long waits," Lily is finally coming home. I believe this fic is inspired by the song You Are In Love.

When I say jily is friends first, and lovers second this is what I mean

Dancing With Our Hands Tied by @athenasparrow

But despite his best efforts, he couldn’t take his eyes off her figure as she moved effortlessly in rhythm with whatever song she had playing. He learned she was wearing more than a t-shirt when she slid across the kitchen on her socks, throwing her head back to sing words James wished he could hear.

OR: In a world where social distancing reigns supreme, two strangers find themselves confined to their apartments with love only a window away.

The way I binged this fic at school between classes. love love love

The Season by @missgryffin

This is a regency (Brighton) au where "James Potter, Duke of Peverell, has returned to London just in time for the season, where Miss Lily Evans is about to make her debut. Only, he’s not looking for a wife, and she’s not particularly interested in a husband."

I love the dialogue between Lily & James as well as Sirius & Lily's relationship (for those who know Brigerton, it reminds me of Ben and El's relationship).

A Misstep Of Fate by hogwartslivy (on ao3)

A muggle historical au where "he waited for her on the edge of ballrooms and in the shadows of parties. He waited to dance with her, to spin her in his arms, to be the one she laughed and smiled with. He thought he was doing the right thing, allowing time to pass them until they were ready, so he had waited. But it seems, he made a misstep. He's waited too long now she's slipping through his fingers."

My boy is stupid and in love but it's okay because she is too. Their idiots, but they’re my idiots

Let Me Love You by @thejilyship

A Princess Diaries au in which "with only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter."

chaos ensues and Emma deserves long service leave (the place would fall apart)

foreigner's god by clarewithnoi (on ao3)

answer to a Tumblr prompt: "we were lovers in a past life" but the current incarnations are enemies-to-lovers, and they don't remember anything from their past selves.

The back and forth between them is so good. low-key I teared up a bit but it has a HEA

An October of Unconventional Courtships by @ghostofbambifanfiction

Two phones. Thirty-one days. Eighteen tuxedos. A Jilytober texting fic.

A classic that everyone should read

Shelf Awareness also by @/ghostofbambifanfiction

Modern bookstore au where "It's too far out of her way and she's wasting so much money, but Lily can't help but return to the bookstore every weekend, where her passion for good literature has, perhaps, been unexpectedly reignited by the messy-haired, pun-making, rather handsome bloke who works there."

One of the first ever jily fics that I read and I fell in love with their dynamic straight away

Careless Texter also by @/ghostofbambifanfiction

Answer to the prompt, “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are,” with some twists and differences.

Trackside by @hogwartslivy

James Potter is Formula One’s most impressive young talent, making up one half of the championship winning team at Gryffindor Racing. He’s got a reputation for playing dirty on, and seemingly off, the track but when an article quoting a particularly vulgar comment made by him at last years final Grand Prix is released, it seems he may have pushed it too far. Potter faces two options; fix his public image or give up his seat.

When my two obsessions meet

it's (always) you by @kay-elle-cee

A multiverse of 31 meet-cutes for Jilytober 2023.

Honorable mentions to chapter 3 for high!Lily and chapter 7 for fulling my love for jily regency aus

Key Limes by cgner (on ao3)

Fame au "in which Academy Award winner Lily Evans discovers the periphery of internet fandom and the mysteries of Prince James’s gold star system."

Because James is actually just a giant build a bear and lily is an icon as always.

See You At the Next Stop by kayrma (on ao3)

Lily Evans meets a posh-looking bloke with messy hair on the way back to London, and for once in her life she actually enjoys a train ride. Maybe having a spontaneous seat partner isn't that bad after all.

Shoutout to the notes on this fic because whoever wrote it is a mood

Nom De Plume by @annabtg

James Potter, renowned potioneer, has a secret side career as an erotica writer under the pen name of Scarlett Goldwing. When his latest book starts to take off, and Scarlett is asked to promote it at a public event, he has no other option but to recruit his colleague Lily Evans to pretend to be Scarlett. The only problem is, Lily Evans hates his guts… or does she?

(Rated E for later chapters)

Like did you read that summery because personally I was waiting for the author to complete the story so I could binge it

victorem (requires an ao3 account ) by gryffindormischief (on ao3)

(Olympic) Ice dancing au. "When God closes a door, sometimes you have to jump out a window."

Lily and James (and Sirius) aka the dynamic duo

Phone Service by @confuded-gryffindor

Moddern muggel au "in which James and Lily meet twice, both through their phones."

some with arrows, some with traps by @isahorcrux

Fame au. "Then: James Potter was a beloved child star and the lead of a popular YA franchise. Lily Evans was just getting her big break as his romantic lead in the third installment. While their chemistry got rave reviews, if the rumors are to be believed the two actors can barely stand to be in the same room together.

Now: Lily’s paid her dues and ten years later she’s the most in-demand actress in Hollywood. And James...after back-to-back flops at the box office, he’s just looking for a break and a chance to prove he is the amazing actor everyone thought he was going to be."

Much Ado About Nothing, but make it Jily

The group chat is the level of chaos me and my friends extrude every free line we spend together

Charred Pineaple Margarita's and a Bagel by @chiechie97

The guy at the coffee shop was hot. Hot and he knew her order. But that didn’t mean ANYTHING. Especially when he seemed to know everyone’s order. And besides, Lily is far too busy to be thinking about the hot guy that always has her breakfast waiting for her. Right?

Lily and Remus are me

and i know you too well to say you're perfect by @ofmermaidsandmarauders

“Yeah, you were a pretty big moron.” “Hey, I said idiot!”

Lily's not really sure when James Potter, soccer extraordinaire, took over her life with Harry.

What the summery said

The next few fics are all by @wearingaberetinparis or ritaskeetered (on ao3) who is the reason I joined the jily fandom. Single handedly enabled my obsession and I've never been more thankfull.

The Very Regency (Un)Ladylike Guide To Fortune-Hunting

Regency au. "Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want." (Jane Austen)

Lily Evans finds herself wanting, or: so her sister seems to believe. While out on the hunt for a fortune - again: that would be Mrs Dursley mostly - the affection of a number of suitors is most welcome. Especially when a young Viscount's heart is set aflame.

Screaming, crying, punch me in the face (Lily's version)

Jump (For My Love)

Royalty au "When you are the Prince of England, the last thing one might expect is to be jumped from behind by the most beautiful woman one has ever seen, who - in turn - seems to have no clue at all and mistakes one for someone else. Surely, Prince James has the right to be disproportionately upset about this. The question is; does he need to?"

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Olympic au. James, being half Greek, had always dreamed of one day going to the Olympics. Now, at his second Winter Olympics – having won a surprising bronze medal at his first one – James has been dubbed Team GB’s hero before the games have even started.

Lily, being the daughter of a waste collector, had always dreamed of one day making her parents proud by exceeding their expectations. Now, she finds herself on a plane to China together with her boss, Minerva McGonagall, and a crowd of winter athletes representing Team GB at the Winter Olympics of 2022.

The paths of James Potter – overenthusiastic snowboarding hero – and Lily Evans – passionate overachiever – cross at the 2022 Winter Olympics when James Potter is asked to be Team GB’s flagbearer at the Opening Ceremony (and quite a few times after that as well).

The repetition of "James, being half Greek..." worked so well for the flow. I don't know how to describe it

A Game Of Thrones

Modern royalty au. Lily Evans had never imagined she would meet Prince James, but when she does at St Andrews' annual Christmas Pub Crawl, her whole world is turned upside down. For who thought that a girl like her - with a sister that reads "Hello" magazine like it's the Bible - would end up with a prince like him?

Euphemia Potter you will always be famous

flowers

A musician au that hilights sexisim in the music industry. "Singer-songwriter Lily Evans has played gig after gig, has been the opening act to many a headliner, but her big break seems a million miles away. When one night – after playing in her friend Marlene McKinnon’s bar – she receives messily scrawled lyrics on a napkin by a certain Monty Python, her life and career are turned upside down, leading her all the way to the Grammy's."

Lily my love, you deserve everything you've worked for

If You Knew Who Was Talking

hopelessly_devoted and genuinely-conflicted form each other’s support system online, cheering one another on as they battle their way through an unrequited (and most definitely unwanted) crush on the person their parents are trying to set them up with.

In the real world, James Potter and Lily Evans find themselves hopelessly devoted and genuinely conflicted when battling their persistent infatuation with the last person they would have ever liked to fall for, stubbornly fighting their family’s and friends’ convictions that they were born to be together.

If only they knew who was talking.

FOOLS the both of them.

glitter in the sky, i’m spinning out waiting for ya

For her thirtieth birthday, Marlene McKinnon and Mary McDonald gift Lily Evans the thrill of a lifetime: a tandem skydive. What no one expected? For Lily to end up in the hospital as a result with her ankle covered in soul marks.

everybody is a sexy baby, and i'm a monster on a hill

Ficwriter au. "James Potter and Lily Evans are fandom famous. Both are prolific and popular writers within the Marauders fandom, but they have completely ignored the other's existence for two years after a Tumblr misunderstanding. Now, they are paired up for the Valentine's Marauders Challenge and - forced to interact - they find out that they may be more compatible than they ever could have imagined."

Is this not the dream?

fastening myself to you with a stitch

Fame au. "Anyone who has never heard the names Lily Evans and James Potter before must be a boomer. The two actors have dominated the box office with their films in the past nine years, more often than not starring opposite one another. Whether tasked to portray mutual pining, passionate hatred or fiery love, Potter and Evans make the screen positively buzz with the taste of opportunity."

it's all happening without me

Normal People (Sally Roony) au. "At school, James and Lily pretend not to know each other. James is wealthy, popular and the star of his school’s football team, while Lily wears second-hand school uniforms, is the school pariah and resented for her smarts. At James’ house, however – meeting there due to Lily’s mother’s housekeeping job – they form an intense connection they desperately try to conceal to the outside world.

A year later, James and Lily both attend Hogwarts University where James has found his feet and made friends he had longed for his entire life, while Lily remains uncertain and haunted by her problematic past.

Throughout their years at university, James and Lily circle each other, trying to resist the magnetic pull between them, whilst coming to the realisation that the both of them may be more religious than they ever thought they were."

Mother knows best. Mary, never question your writing skills because this fic proved that you are a phenomenal writer. The emotions you evoked coverered the entire range of human emotions

It's Coming Down, It's Coming Down Series -

Weird, But Fuckin' Beautiful

When Lily Evans is invited to spend Christmas with the Potters, she finds that she can simply not refuse. It’s an offer she cannot resist for several reasons, the most important one being that she would much rather spend the holidays with Fleamont and Euphemia than she would with Vernon and Petunia.

So what if she had conveniently forgotten (or has she?) about the fact that the Potters have a son - a Formula 1 driver at that - who she can’t seem to get off her mind? (Mightily annoying that, seeing as he has made clear exactly how he feels about her and it’s not exactly giving her any hope.) It’s not as if she can’t control herself.

Or so she very dearly hopes…

Tonight Feels Impossible

But after a night spent together in a hotel's honeymoon suite, she doubts she ever will and fears it might be her downfall.

To All The Kudos I've Left Before

Ficwriter au set in university. "Fanfiction is the guiltiest of pleasures that Lily - twenty years old and studying at Hogwarts University - freely and happily indulges in. She reads fanfiction whenever she has a moment to herself and goes crazy whenever her favourite author - Artemis - updates or uploads another one of his works to Archive Of Our Own. Leaving them comments and the ensuing banter between them back and forth - however fleeting - makes her heart race and preoccupies a fair amount of her thoughts, which - in turn - angers her best friend.

James Potter has never had to suffer from an inferiority complex. His parents and friends are supportive of his every endeavour and this includes his habit to write fanfiction and put his written work out there in the void for his readers to enjoy. His readers are highly supportive too - Lilium being his absolute favourite - that is, until he starts to receive the vilest of comments from a number of guest accounts and starts to question his entire online existence.

What Artemis and Lilium don’t know? That they might know each other a little better than either of them ever bargained for."

The title says it all ❤ ❤❤

[saragarnier]

Number One

Pairing: jannik sinner x leclerc! Reader

Summary: y/n is Charles Leclerc’s little sister and also Jannik Sinner’s girlfriend. She went to Jannik Final in Rome, when he has the opportunity to become Number One in the ATP rankings

Warnings: none I guess. Maybe just bad English since it’s not my first language

Fluff

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Being Charles Leclerc little sister wasn’t easy at all and you hated everything that was related to your brother’s fame or job. You loved him with all your heart but sometimes it was difficult being his sister, especially if everyone around you tries to be your friend just to have a chance to meet your brother.

At the same time, however, you were able to meet your current boyfriend thanks to your brother and you were grateful for that. When Charles invited you and your brothers to the Montecarlo Master 1000 final in 2024 you were excited, especially when Jannik Sinner won the semifinal.

You watched tennis since you were only six or seven years old, especially because your father and your brothers loved it. Even after your father’s death you kept watching tennis, maybe also because you wanted to feel him again, maybe because watching tennis helped you remembering him.

And that’s how you knew Jannik Sinner: you watched one of his game when he was still young but you knew that something was different about him, you knew that he would have become someone important one day.

When you met him after the final you were almost shaking and your brother Arthur didn’t help you neither: he embarrassed you even more, telling Jannik that you were his biggest fan.

You didn’t knew when you met him, nor did he. It just happened. It wasn’t planned at all.

You two met again some days after, and again and again till you started dating in secret. You both wanted to keep it a secret, to keep it private from all the fans, the journalists and the world: only your families and Jannik’s team knew about your relationship. You just wanted to live yourselves, you just wanted to know each other better before telling everyone that you were a couple. You still didn’t even admit that you loved each other when you decided to leave Imola and not to watch your brother’s race on 19th of May. It was race day for Charles but it was also Jannik’s match day and you perfectly knew that, if he would have won, he would’ve become first in the ATP rankings. And you couldn’t miss it.

You drove for hours and you were able to arrived just few minutes before the start of the match, when Jannik was still doing some warmup. He didn’t know you were there, he thought that you would have been at your brother’s race and he understood that, he wasn’t even mad at you when you told him that your brother invited you to his race. And then, that morning, Charles told you that you should have gone and that he wouldn’t have been angry with you.

You thanked him and you immediately left to reach Jannik in Rome.

You were able to enter thanks to his coach Cahill, that let you pass the security and found you a place near them, even if you didn’t want to be seen by Jannik.

“What do you mean, y/n? Why you didn’t want to be seen?” Asked his physiotherapist, Giacomo, looking at you with a confused look.

“I don’t want to distract him. He doesn’t know i’m here and there’s no time to tell him; he needs to stay focused on the game, especially today, especially when there’s being the number one in the rankings on the plate.”

They knew that you only wanted Jannik’s best and they agreed with you, that’s why Jannik didn’t know about you being there till the end of the match, when he reached his team on the stands after his victory.

At the beginning he didn’t see you, he just hugged his team, smiling, incredulous.

“Let’s go Jan!”

“Bravo!”

“Olé, Olé, Olé! Sinner! Sinner!”

The fans were crazy, they were screaming, singing and they were crying. Some kids were literally in tears, some fans were hugging each other screaming: “Sinner numero uno al mondo!” (“Sinner number one in the world!”)

It was the first time that an Italian reached the first place in the ATP rankings and Italians were going crazy, especially because he became number one in Rome, at home.

“Sei fantastico Jan! Ottimo lavoro!” Said Simone Vagnozzi, smiling at him. (“You’re amazing Jan! Good job!”)

He was too much shocked to notice you were just few feet away from him. You couldn’t stop smiling, especially watching him being so happy. He deserved all of this and even more.

Before he could see you, you stepped forward, smiling.

“So, do i have to call you champion from now on?” You whispered to his ear, gaining his full attention. He immediately wrapped his hands around your waist and he hugged you, smiling.

“Y/n! W-what… what are you doing here?!” He asked, smiling even more. “I thought you were at your brother’s race! When did you arrived here?”

You smiled, passing an hand through his hair and caressing him gently. You smiled, looking at him and feeling goosebumps under his touch.

“I couldn’t miss it, right? I wanted to be here with you and my brother understood. I arrived only few minutes before the start that’s why I didn’t tell you: I didn’t want to disturb you. I know how important it’s for you and i didn’t want to distract you.”

He was speechless: he wanted to thank you, to say something but he couldn’t. He wanted to say how he felt, he wanted to say that you were amazing and that he felt so fucking lucky to have you, but he couldn’t. He didn’t find the right words, that’s why he just kissed you.

You didn’t expect him to do that in front of everyone, in front of the fans, journalists and the tv. You knew that all the world was watching you two kissing, you knew that your secret was not a secret anymore after that kiss, but you didn’t mind. You just let him do it and you immediately kissed him back.

You loved him.

God, you loved him so much.

But you weren’t prepared for that, you weren’t prepared for what he told next. You couldn’t believe it, you just couldn’t.

“I love you, y/n.” He told you, whispering it while watching you in the eyes. He would have passed all the time there, kissing you and hugging you. There was no-one else in there except you. It was only you and him.

You didn’t know what to say or what to do, you loved him so much and you waited to hear that for weeks, but you couldn’t still believe it.

Was it true?

Was it real?

You immediately hugged him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and hiding your face on his chest.

“I love you too, my little champion” you whispered, smiling. “And I would kiss you all the time right now, but i think you should go now. I’ll wait here for you, okay?”

Jannik smiled and nodded, caressing your cheek gently.

“Okay babe, i will come back to you as soon as i can, okay?” He said, giving you one last kiss before going back on the court to be interviewed. You smiled at him and nodded, still looking at him from distance.

“I love you and i will always do.” You whispered to yourself, since he was way too far to hear you.

And when he raised the cup to the sky you just smiled seeing how happy he was, seeing the smile he had on his face, how emotional he looked in that moment.

Number one in the world.

Number one in your heart.

[bunniesghost]

୨⎯ "Wait, What’s Your Name?”⎯୧

🪞

Simon “Ghost” Riley X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Abusive Parent, mental health issues, physical abuse, manipulation, mention of death of a minor character

Summary: You become the roommate to a soldier who barely is home. Desperate to leave your Abusive Household, you call the number of the flyer that was on the corkboard of the coffee shop. This soldier didn’t even know your name when he left you his keys. When will you see him next?

A/N: Literally my first fanfic but hope y’all like it. Inaccurate army information. ALSO THIS WILL BECOME A PREGNANCY AU SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT TROPE, YOU SHOULD STOP READING

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Of course you called the phone number posted on the flyer on the cork board of the coffee shop. Going out of your house due to your mother screaming at you as soon as you woke up.

5 AM to get your morning routine done and get ready for school since you decided to take morning classes. Which you don’t regret cause you get to be out of the house.

Away from your mom.

Never having a good relationship with your mom since your father passed away when you were 15.

Always being a Daddy’s girl and her always out of the house, you didn’t think much of it. But once he passed away, she was forced to pay attention to you. Verbally abusing you because she’s a widow and single mother to a teenager who apparently is selfish and hates her mother.

She didn’t drink due to her not liking the taste and she never started after he died, so you knew these were sober thoughts.

Never was there to meet your new relationship. Never was there to see you get your driver's license.

Never was there to see you graduate from High school. Never was there to see you get into your dream school. Never was there for the good things.

Just the bad things

Like when you dropped a plate and it shattered on the floor.

That was the first time she hit you.

A harsh Slap and yelling in your face.

You got into a car accident that left your car ruined. The insurance money given to her due to the car being under your name. Never seeing that money or getting a new car.

You had your high school sweetheart over at her house when she wasn’t home. Seeing the shoes of someone she didn’t recognize. Storming into your bedroom and seeing you making out with someone in your room.

Let’s just say you got dumped by text right after.

Or when she accused you of stealing her boyfriend at the time. Him always greeting you and saying his goodbyes. The relationship only lasted 2 weeks and when he went into your bedroom to see your school project that you were currently working on. Your mother didn’t like that she could hear mumbles of him speaking to someone. Someone as you.

She came into your bedroom immediately accusing him of taking advantage of her little girl, and kicking him out. Right after he left, she slapped you and dragged you to the ground. Screaming at you for apparently stealing her boyfriend.

“YOU FUCKING WHORE!”

You were only 16.

As soon as you turned 18, you got access to your dads Will. He left you most of his money, which your mother was clearly not happy about. You used some of the money to buy yourself a new car and saved the rest to be able to move out of this hell.

Each time you threaten your mom of moving out, she would always beg you to stay and would apologize to you.

The apology ended the next day when you came home late due to your job needing extra help to close and clean up. Opening the door to your mother sitting in on coach and coming towards you with her hand up, ready to slap you.

Now you are 20 and have had enough. Waking up at the time you always do. You decided to wash the dishes your mother left last night, so she wouldn’t yell at you once you got home and ate getting told that you are useless and do nothing for this household.

You didn’t realize she woke up due to the water in the sink being on. She immediately started yelling at you for being so loud in the morning and started to hit you in your rib cage and slap you in your face.

You decided after she was done, to get out of the house and drive to your school. Leaving without your coat or school backpack.

Tears blurring your vision and heavy breathing makes it hard to breathe. You pulled over to a coffee shop because you didn’t want to get or cause an accident.

You steady yourself before you get out of the car. Putting on a smile for the world.

You get out your phone so you can distract yourself. You noticed you got an email from both your professors for today. Both canceled class due to an emergency occurring in their life. They are both married to each other and one of them was pregnant so you can assume she went into labor.

Now you had to figure out what to do for the rest of the day.

As you walked into the coffee shop, you were hit with the smell of richness from the coffee beans. Now you had to figure out what you wanted to order.

After ordering a small drink, due to your lack of appetite, thanks to your mother. You looked over and saw a cork board full of flyers. So you walked over and saw bands, volunteer work and nearby events.

“Y/n”

The barista called your name, indicating that your drink was ready.

But as soon as you were about to walk away from the paper covers wall, you saw a flyer that read

‘Roommate wanted’

You saw phone numbers cut out of the paper so you could take one, and so you did.

Grabbing your drink, you walked out and got into your car. Staring at this phone number in your hand.

Should you call it? I mean do you think it’s time to finally use that Will money? You had all this time to get out of that hell hole but your mom always saying that she needed you. And you not quite ready to let go of the home your father bought after 13 years of paying rent to finally owning the house that you grew up in.

Is it time?

Yes it is

So you start to dial the number.

“Hello?”

Wow that’s a deep voice

“H-Hi..I’m calling cause I saw that you wanted a roommate..” you stuttered.

“Oh right. Are you available right now?”

“Um..yes I am..do you want to meet up right now?”

“Yes, I’m about to leave to work so if you can come right now, you could probably move in today if you want.” The guy spoke

“Oh..just like that? You asked because you were surprised.

“Yeah, I’m not here most of the time so- I’ll tell you once you arrive.”

“Oh o-ok, I’ll be there in like…wait where do you live?” You just realized that you didn’t check the location.

“Did you really not read all of it?..”

“N-no..” you said in a quieter voice

The guy sighed “I’ll text you the address and I’ll wait here. Just tell me if it won’t work before you get here.”

You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone.

He sounded nice.

You check the location he sent and it’s actually much closer to your school. It’s almost an hour away so you decided to start your car immediately and make your way there.

You texted him that you were in the parking lot and he said he’ll meet you in the lobby. Wow this place has a lobby and looks very well kept. Definitely on the expensive side but the Will money and your job can keep you afloat for a while. You wait

You’re waiting in the lobby, when a huge bulky guy in a black military suit comes out of the elevator. You look away but when he comes and stands right in front of you, you look up at him.

“Are you waiting for someone?”

“Oh..it’s you..” you spoke in a surprise voice

“And it’s you, let’s head upstairs so I can show you the apartment.” The guy spoke and started walking to the elevator. You followed along getting on and watched the doors closed.

The 9th floor was the top floor and you were heading up there. Silence filling the small space as the elevator kept going until you heard the ding and the doors opened up. He walked out first and started walking to the only door in the small lobby room for the only apartment. So like a penthouse then?

He opened the door and made it so you walked in first. You were still near the elevator so you had to walk fast to get in. Him going in and closing the door, he started to speak.

“This is my living space that I’m rarely in and really need someone to just take over the space and actually live in it really.” He spoke

“So you’re in the army?” You asked an obvious question.

“Yes, that’s why I’m rarely here. I can show you the two empty bedrooms that I don’t use.”

Did you even use the house? The walls are bare and there’s no decoration at all, just a sofa, coffee table, Big Flat screen, a two seat dinner table, bar stools in the island, and a set of knives. Wow you had a lot of work to do.

“I cleaned up a bit so the floors and walls weren’t dirty, that’s why it smells like lemons.” He explained to you.

Oh wow, lemons

“Well, I’m fine with just one room but don’t you need my information first before I can move in?” You asked him a question that you’ve been thinking about.

“I don’t have time but if you just send me the information, I’ll give it to the army household keepers and they’ll take care of it.” He explained

“Oh, is this provided by the army?” You asked

“No but they just help me out because they know me. So don’t worry about that stuff.”

“So does that mean you’ll move in?”

“Sure.” You told him

“Alright I have to go, I’m an hour late and base is 30 minutes away so, I guess I’ll see you whenever.”

As he was leaving you realized you didn’t know his name. Or he knew yours.

“Wait, what’s your name?” You asked him right as his hand was about to open the door.

“Oh right, it’s Simon.”

Simon

“I-I’m Y/n.”

“I’ll see you soon, Y/n.”

He then closed the door and you were left in this big empty looking house.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Reblogs and likes are appreciated! Let me know any feedback!

[heliads]

Hi! If that's okay could i request Tewksbury x gn!reader?

You know that scene where Enola takes him to her room to talk about what she discovered? That scene with reader instead except they don't get attacked by the police and he ends up staying the night, nothing nsfw just fluff! And maybe he or they confess? And could you add the one bed troupe? Ty!!

Your choice of a scenario or headcanons, whatever you're more comfortable with! :)

honestly thank you so much for the choice of scenario or headcanons i appreciate the opportunity to have less of a workload, as a reward you get a full length fic

masterlist

After all these days of searching, you think you’ve managed to find him at last. You and Enola have been worried sick about what could have happened to the Viscount of Tewkesbury, Marquess of Basilwether, Owner of Far Too Many Titles for quite some time now, so even the sight of what could be familiar brown tousled hair across a crowded city square fills you with a rush of relief.

He’s alright, that’s what matters most. You can catch the barest flickers of his smile from where you stand. Scores of people weave in between the two of you, but the distance is slowly shrinking. You didn’t expect to miss him quite as much as you did when you first parted ways, but for some reason the thought that you’ll be able to see him again is enough to make you smile like a giddy fool.

In a way, you are. Judging by all the nasty business with Linthorn and the people trying to follow you, you were worried that leaving Tewkesbury behind had been a mistake. What would you have done if that man with the bowler hat from the train had caught up to him? The consequences are more severe than you care to think about, yet here you are, finding Tewkesbury at last.

He doesn’t know you’re here, not yet. You’re still doing your best to remain unnoticed. You and Enola are getting more paranoid by the hour, a practice which has only served to keep the two of you alive and mostly out of trouble. You’re being tracked by Linthorn and his men, of that you have no doubt, but what matters most right now is getting to Tewkesbury before they can.

That’s why Enola is currently on another side of the city, doing her best to distract anyone trying to find you. She’s also hoping to locate Tewkesbury yourself if you couldn’t manage it, although you have to admit that you feel very pleased to be the one who’s found him first.

You hurry across the town square, ducking obliviously around throngs of people and charging coaches to make it over to him. Tewkesbury is helming a small flower stand, and, judging by the empty spots in the vases lining his table, he’s making his fortune quite easily. 

That might be due in part to the easy smiles he’s giving out like extra change to any passersby. In fact, the customer currently purchasing a bouquet is looking at Tewkesbury as if she’d rather like to buy him, too, just for the thrill of propping him up in her house for a good stare or two. For some reason, the way that the girl keeps eyeing him makes a knot twist in your stomach, some deep unhappiness that only allows itself to be known through no uncertain pressure.

Just when you fear you may be swept away on the tide of what is definitely not jealousy, Tewkesbury looks up and sees you. Instantly, any thoughts of the girl in front of him, if they even existed in the first place, vanish from his face. It becomes clear that he must have been faking a good temper before, because the sheer joy on his face is infinitely better what he’d been displaying just a few minutes ago.

Evidently picking up on the fact that she’s no longer remotely on Tewkesbury’s mind, the flirtatious customer sighs in irritation and leaves. You don’t even think Tewkesbury noticed, he’s beaming ear to ear as you hurry up to him.

“Y/N!” He says, absolutely delighted. “What are you doing here? I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again.”

You laugh. “Well, I’m sorry to disappoint.”

“No,” Tewkesbury hurries to assure you, “not disappointed in the slightest. Really, I couldn’t be happier. What’s going on? How did you find me?”

“It’s not just me who’s been trying to find you,” you relate, “I think I’m being followed. Most likely you are too. There’s some man out there who’s been trying to find you. Enola and I split up so we could try to get to you first before anything happened. I’m glad I found you.”

“I’m glad you found me, too,” Tewkesbury says, then hurries to straighten some already pristine display on his stand before you can notice the blush rising to his cheeks.

You allow him a moment or two to collect himself, then continue on. “We’ve found out a lot since we saw you last. Do you know anywhere we could talk without being overheard? Sorry for being nervous, it’s just that I’d rather not have anyone know we were here.”

Tewkesbury nods, a faint grin on his face. “What, are you worried about getting into a fight?”

You blow out a tired breath. “You’d be surprised.”

His face turns awestruck. “You’ve been in a fight?”

“Yeah,” you say, glancing across the street to see if you spot Linthorn, “in trying to protect you, too. You’ll be pleased to know that I won.”

When you turn back to Tewkesbury, he’s regarding you with a charmed look, like he could listen to you talk for hours on end and never tire of it. Something tells you that the thought of you choosing his side over safety or anything else means more to him than Tewkesbury could possibly put into words.

Whatever he’s thinking, though, neither of you are quite brave enough to express it at the moment. Tewkesbury clears his throat and gestures towards the street.

“I have a place not far from here where we should be fine to talk. Just let me close up shop and we should be good to go.”

You watch him work with a smile. “You know, I do have to admit that it’s cool that you did all this. You know, you were able to set up your own store in Covent Garden and all that. Not bad for a boy on the run.”

Tewkesbury straightens up with an amused look. “Is that a compliment? I think I’m touched.”

You roll your eyes, but can’t hide a grin. “You’re allowed to have them every now and then. I’m not Enola, I can refrain from sarcasm once in a while.”

“I’m well aware that you’re not Enola,” he says, and for some reason you get the feeling that he’s very appreciative of the fact, too. It makes a flush of heat spiral up your cheeks until you have to look away to get your bearings once again.

Tewkesbury leads you through the busy streets until he comes to a stop in front of a locked door.

“This is my place,” he says by way of explanation, “I had to do a fair amount of convincing so the owner would even allow me to let the room, but it’s not too bad. It means no one is trying to follow me, at least. Well, except you.”

You laugh. “Thanks for the clarification.”

Tewkesbury chuckles and leads you upstairs. You can see a hallway with many similar doors stretching out into what feels like an endless abyss of rooms, but Tewkesbury seems to know the way to his flat like the back of his hand. Soon enough, he’s locking the door behind you, and the two of you are alone at last. You were together like this in the marketplace, but for some reason, it’s different now that no one else can see you.

Tewkesbury gestures for you to take a seat and settles into a chair opposite you. “So?” He asks, always curious, “what’s been going on?”

You let out a frustrated breath. “Everything. Enola and I have been running ourselves ragged trying to keep up with Linthorn and your family. Honestly, we were worried sick that we wouldn’t be able to find you in time. We agreed to meet up tomorrow morning, hopefully with you in tow.”

“At least we have a destination for tomorrow,” Tewkesbury muses. “And a plan, I hope?”

You nod. “The barest scrap of one, but it does for now. What, will you be sad to leave your flower stand?”

“A little,” he admits, “it was nice to pretend that I could have a life as simple as that, but I knew it was only temporary. Still, I get the feeling I’ll have reasons to enjoy my future anyway, with or without selling flowers in Covent Garden.”

Again, you get that feeling that he’s hinting towards more than he could ever say. You quickly steer the conversation back towards safer shores, like the fact that there’s at least one man out there trying to kill both of you, and slowly you’re able to fight back the wave of heat that’s currently dusting your cheeks.

It’s easy to spend time with Tewkesbury. You forgot about that in the time since you’ve last seen him, but it’s true. Before you know it, the dangerous topics of Tewkesbury’s family and Linthorn’s plotting are left far behind. You and Tewkesbury laugh until your ribs are sore, trading jokes like you’ve known each other all your lives instead of just a short matter of time. He is fascinating to speak to, host to knowledge you’d never guess at in your entire life. 

At the same time, you seem to hold his attention in the palm of your hand like a flightless bird, never to soar away. Every time you open your mouth to voice a single syllable, Tewkesbury looks at you with his heart in his eyes, totally captivated by you. It’s enough to make anyone feel important, and you are certainly no exception.

Before you know it, you’re fighting back a yawn in between another tangent of conversation. You do your best to hide the sudden bout of exhaustion that’s flung itself upon you, but Tewkesbury notices you. Always the eagle eye when it comes to spotting details about you, right? It’s as if he can only ever look at you, so he might as well do it right.

Tewkesbury glances at the window behind him and his face transfigures with surprise. “My goodness, it’s already so late. I had no idea.”

Sure enough, when you glance through the leaded panes, you notice that the streets outside have already succumbed to night. Darkness has fallen upon the town, pierced consistently by the even light of lanterns lining the streets.

You curse under your breath. You hadn’t meant to stay this long, but then again, if you were to do it all again, you have a feeling you’d repeat this afternoon exactly the same way. You haven’t felt half so light or free as when you’re talking with Tewkesbury. He makes you feel as if nothing in the world could ever trouble you, and when you have as many problems as you do right now, that’s certainly something worth your time.

Still, even the best of evenings have to end at some point, and the moon rising over the horizon acts as your timepiece for the night, signaling that you’re going to have to call off your happiness for the time being.

“I’d better head out,” you say, rising to your feet, “I’ll come back in the morning, we can go meet Enola. It’s just not safe for you to keep up your life here, not until we figure out Linthorn.”

Tewkesbury jerks into a standing position as well. “Wait, you can’t go out there by yourself, it’s pitch black. I’ll walk with you.”

You shake your head. “Then you’d be coming back here in the dead of night. Linthorn’s out there somewhere on the lookout for you, it would be too dangerous. I have to go by myself.”

Tewkesbury refuses to take no for an answer. “Then stay here. If I can’t go with you, you can’t walk these streets after dark on your own. I have space, you can stay the night.”

You hesitate, wavering on the edge of what you truly want and what surely must be done. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Well, I can’t ask you to keep helping me stay safe from Linthorn, and you do it anyway,” Tewkesbury reasons, “Look, it’s no big deal at all. I promise.”

You cave at last. “Alright. I am rather tired.”

Tewkesbury grins, thrilling over his victory. He looks around to offer you a place to sleep, and that’s when the two of you reach an insurmountable problem at the exact same time. When Tewkesbury found this place, he was only thinking that he’d be host to himself. For this reason, there’s only one bed, and for this reason, the fact that you’re going to be here too creates many, many difficulties.

“I’ll sleep in the armchair,” you say quickly. “It looks quite comfortable.”

Tewkesbury scoffs. “That’s a lie and you know it. You take the bed, I’ll be in the armchair.”

“I’m not kicking you out of your own bed,” you argue.

“And I’m not forcing you to stay here overnight just to delegate you to the chair,” Tewkesbury replies just as quickly, “Take the bed.”

“You take the bed,” you quarrel.

“We can both take the bed,” Tewkesbury says in a rush, and both of you try to pretend as if that declaration isn’t somehow both the most perfect solution and also the most terrifying option that could possibly come out of this debate.

Not one to show any sign of weakness, you nod before Tewkesbury can take it back. “Alright. It’s big enough for the two of us. It’ll be fine.”

“Very fine,” Tewkesbury adds, although you notice that he does look a bit panicked at the thought.

The two of you have gone and committed to the idea now, though, so it’s not like there’s anything you can do about it. You dress for sleep and crawl into the bed, Tewkesbury on the other side. It was definitely meant for one person, which is made clear when both of your efforts to give each other as much space as possible result in you practically falling onto the ground.

At last, you sigh and give in to what must be done. You turn on your side to face Tewkesbury and stretch out an arm to reach out to him. He stiffens at first, then turns over as well. Your head fits perfectly against his chest, and when his arm wraps around you, you wonder why either of you ever tried anything else. It’s as if you’re two halves of one being, always meant to be here together. The thought of ever getting up and splitting away from him feels like a strike through the heart.

Tewkesbury speaks quietly against the top of your head. “I’m glad you’re here. Really glad.”

You smile. “I’m glad too.”

It is easy to sleep after that, regardless of the fact that there’s a stranger out in the city who wishes for the quick death of both of you. Right here, nestled in Tewkesbury’s arms, the thought of danger has never even occurred to you. No safety net has ever been woven of stronger stuff. The stars wheel in the sky overhead and the two of you sleep soundly, brows smoothed of worry. All is well.

requested by @dexpairs-blog, i hope you enjoy!

enola holmes tag list: empty for now!

[foxufortunes]

So like I was actually having this discussion in the comments of one of my fics at stupid in the morning, but like having thought it through for the day I'm here to messily rant my thoughts on the complicated relationship between the upperclassmen, mainly Dan, and the monsters, mainly Andrew, and Wymack. How Dan is terribly self righteous and hypocritical and lets her emotions get in the way of her captaincy at times. How Andrew doesn't care for the discomfort and fear he causes others and even revels in it, even without provocation. And how Wymack, for better or for worse, is a hands off coach who can't/won't inflict meaningful punishments on his team, even enabling their worst qualities and habits, as part of his ideal of giving people more chances and how that can create a hostile team environment.

Aka, I'm about to throw slander in every direction, because these are flawed, messy characters and trying to make any of them perfectly innocent or always right does a disservice to the well sketched, messy, imperfect, flawed characters Nora created. Blame goes everywhere and no one is innocent. Trauma is a reason, not an excuse.

Buckle up, guys, this is about to get long and messy.

So, let's start with Wymack, who's a bit trickier to explain than Dan and Andrew, but is also the reason they've been brought togethers. Wymack, as we see him on page, is a massively hands off coach, especially when you compare him to Coach Rhemann. Now, it's very possible that this is actually because Nora either wasn't confident/good enough to write him coaching vs where she is now ten years later, or because she didn't want to focus there (although logically for exy junkie Neil's pov that would be weird, but whatever, that's not what we're talking about) but whatever the reason out of universe, it leaves us with Wymack as hands off as possible in universe. (Also, sidebar, some people in this fandom need to learn that out of universe reasons still need to have an in universe reason, "it needed to happen for the plot" is an out of universe reason, but I still need to know why the characters did it beyond "for the plot" or it's bad writing, stop using that for an answer about "why did character X do Y?")

Anyway, Wymack lets the team basically run amuck and sort themselves out, and even enables their worst habits. I think its canon that Abby gets a tip when "random" drug tests are happening, and they certainly don't do anything to enforce the no drugs policies the school and NCAA and probably ERC would have. Wymack brought a bunch of troubled kids together and seems to have no plan beyond letting themselves work it out and Betsy's here if there's trouble. This is why the Matt situation happens. You let a struggling to stay sober drug addict be around other not even trying drug addicts, of course Matt was going to get worse. This is actively bad for him. And in turn then actively bad for Aaron.

His relationship with Andrew is a bit more complicated. Now, I need you to forget everything you know about Andrew through Neil and his backstory for a moment, and just look at Andrew through Wymack's eyes as he first met him. Andrew has been to juvie, and is currently on parole for another violent crime that Wymack may or may not know the actual details about and on medication that Wymack may or may not know what they actually are and do. Andrew asks to come off of them. Wymack says yes. Now, even putting aside the legality of this, Wymack took the unilateral decision that Andrew knows best about his meds and can come off of them. Now, we can talk plenty about how Andrew's medication is portrayed in canon, but plenty of people don't like meds that are actually good for them and try/do stop taking them, often without telling a doctor they're doing so. There's also the fact that, again irrelevant of what we know as the story goes, Andrew regularly drinks, smokes and misses doses, things that can all make medication not work as it should. Wymack is not a doctor, for all he knows he could actively making Andrew worse by allowing this, but does anyway, for a good defence line.

(Also another side note, where does canon get off calling the Foxes a laughing stock? They're five years old. Seth was part of the first batch, right? So they're five years old and made the championships in their fourth year of existing as a team, fuck off are they dead last laughing stocks.)

And this is part of what I don't get about Wymack. He both wants to win above what's good for his team and doesn't at the same time. For example, he's so hands off and enables their bad habits, things that could kill them and actively harm them. He puts Andrew on the bench because he doesn't need a third goalie despite him being better and seemingly rolls with the hierarchy of age over skill, which implies team feel goods over victory but is so invested in staying Class I he semi-regularly lets (and yeah, it's lets not makes but still) Andrew harm himself playing full games on withdrawals (again, as far as he knows potentially stopping his meds working right). And while it could be argued his situation with Andrew is more not wanting to give up on Andrew, that is an the expense of his other players. Anyone who's ever been in a situation where one or two people are hostile/seemingly unpunishable knows how bad that makes everyone else feel.

Because, let's be real, Andrew is unpunishable and they all know it. Cardio is one thing, but he doesn't go through with marathons and nothing else will work. Andrew doesn't care for his own contract, and even if we actually believed Wymack would go through with any threat again Kevin, Nicky or Aaron's contracts (and we all know he wouldn't) Andrew would probably sabotage the game in protest or just outright quit. Andrew gets away with everything and everyone knows it and that can quickly see your team stop respecting/trusting you or feeling safe when you say they are. It's a very dangerous line.

And this is where we finally get to Dan. Because yes, Dan hates Andrew, and is unprofessional in her bias against him. But I think we often forget where this comes from. You often see people talk about Columbia, and Andrew drugging Neil, and should Neil have been angrier, how his trauma impacted him moving on so quickly and whether Andrew's reasons were valid or not because he thought Neil was a threat. And sometimes you see people talk about what he did "to" Matt. Which, yes, wasn't great, and yes, Matt took the drugs himself, but really it wasn't a great move from Andrew. But how often do you see people talk about what he did to Dan?

I mean, let's get some context here. Andrew and Dan barely knew each other. Dan is already getting shit from every angle for daring to be a woman playing and captaining an exy team (and if you hc her as a woman of colour, double this) in a period of time where colleges did (and still do) have a terrible reputation for covering up the horrific assaults committed by their best NCAA athletes. And Andrew, with no provocation, or reason, invites her out, to his home turf, with his family, to a bar he worked out, without anyone to support her and look after her, and drugged her. To find out if she was a women worth following. Not because she was a threat. Because he wanted to find out what type of person she was. He wanted her tragic backstory and he wanted it now (something people criticise Dan for demanding a lot, by the way). Andrew and his group show no remorse and face no real repercussions and then go on to enable Matt getting falling off the wagon and taking potentially lethal mix of drugs, because his mom said it was fine so it's ok and it all worked out, ends justify the means, and is allowed to just carry on with again, no meaningful punishment. Because no harm, no foul, right? (funny how you'll apply that to Andrew but hate when Thea said it, huh?)

Is it any wonder Dan doesn't like or trust Andrew?

And lets be clear, Andrew does nothing to discourage this. Andrew doesn't want to be understood, he doesn't want to share. Andrew is not here angsting because no one understands his attempts to making friends (except maybe, big maybe, Aaron not understanding his attempts at brothering). Andrew is fine if the team doesn't trust him. He encourages it, because trust means friends means feelings means weakness and that's ew. It's not hard to see how, from Dan's pov, Wymack can't/won't punish Andrew and is more interested in winning so won't kick him off the team.

At the same time, Dan is just as complicit in Andrew's breaking the law and hurting himself by missing meds as Wymack. Again, for all she knows, his meds help him, and skipping could actively harm the help they're giving him. Again, she's putting winning, because they have this amazing goalkeeper, above both Andrew and the team's health, and then complains when he lashes out. Some meds need a consistent balance to work, and maybe if he wasn't skipping every Friday to help you win he'd be more stable (we know this isn't the case, but they don't). There's barely any resistance put up to the idea that Andrew plays entire games, because she also wants to win more than she cares about Andrew's health, while at the same time not caring about winning more than her pride, like the rest of the team who are more interested in fighting than winning.

Now, of course, Andrew doesn't care. I think Nicky has it right early on when he says Andrew doesn't care about your boundaries, just his. Andrew is here mostly because he wants to keep Nicky and Aaron close and sees providing value for them (protection, scholarships, controlling protection ect) as the only way to really do it. Andrew sees life as exchanges. But, for all we act like Andrew lives on fair exchanges, he doesn't. As I said, he drugged Dan because he wanted to know about her, what did he give her in return? Nothing. He violated her autonomy and gave her nothing in return. Not even his own backstory. Arguably not even respect. (please, take a minute to imagine how pissed you would be if someone in fanfic wrote Andrew being drugged just to get him to spill his trauma without him even being a threat to anything, or look at how people react to Neil's Columbia scene).

The upperclassmen constantly ignore and violate Andrew's boundaries in very clear ways, and any normal team would have backed off ages ago (or called the cops the first time he pulled a knife) but because they're Foxes they keep pushing. (Also, for all fandom likes to make him a knife nut, look at how often he actually pulls a knife vs punches, it's either rape jokes, or him/someone under his protection being cornered, day to day he goes without). Now, of course, Andrew is a lot of the problem of keeping the team in two halves (again, something any decent coach shouldn't allow to get that extreme) as we see with how well the team works when Andrew is at Easthaven, but we don't know how much effort the upperclassmen actually make (excluding Renee of course).

The upperclassmen are often the first to lash out, and Andrew is often only retaliating, and then the monsters will be blamed. And yes, this is complete hypocrisy. But from the more general day to day treatment, not in the moment when a punch is thrown but attitudes in general, Andrew has proven himself a threat over and over, without provocation. If you can excuse Andrew drugging Neil because he's a potential threat, then why is Dan being hostile to Andrew because he's proven himself a threat different? Is it professional? Probably not, but what else can Dan do? She can't punish Andrew and Wymack seemingly can't/won't either. In Dan's mind, she is being hypervigilant and watching Andrew and taking his actions for the worst possible scenario, because Andrew has given her reason to. A simple drink to get to know each other turned into drugging her and Matt being in awful condition. Why should she give him the benefit of the doubt? Andrew wouldn't return the favour.

In many ways, Andrew and Dan are mirrors of each other. The leaders of their respective groups, both constantly trying to watch out for threats, but while Dan sees the threat she's already experienced with Andrew, Andrew considers her nothing. He's already got all her secrets and cast her aside, not caring for the damage he's done, because she and her friends are nothing to, and he doesn't feel a hint of remorse. He did what he had to, the ends justify the means, and Wymack's gone through too much to get him to risk losing him. He's on a team that doesn't care about his boundaries any more than he cares about theirs and is more than happy to play the monster if it gets the job done.

This came off a little harsh on Andrew, despite that I love him and Dan actually grates on me, but honestly the start of the series he is kind of awful and Dan I can see where she's coming from. Like, I think sometimes we also forget even Neil hates Andrew at the start of the series. Everything he did with Neil, he did with the others, it's just that Neil had the persistence, and the trauma related need to compartmentalise and move on quickly rather than hold a grudge, and a usefulness to Andrew (and yeah, let's not forget the breakthrough is Kathy's show and Andrew realising Neil is useful to him) to let him get in with Andrew so he can start to see the real him, while Andrew keeps the upperclassmen at arm's length.

And wow, congrats and thanks to anyone who read all the way through this monster ramble.

[riansdiary]

Answering last asks in my inbox 🎀

Hi my dearest gentle readers 💎

I'm answering all of my remaining asks here in this post because I didn't wanna leave anyone hanging. My asks will be temporarily closed due to me taking a break and focusing on my desires first. I will be back after making myself feel better! I'm just taking a long break because I don't wanna over consume on Tumblr so I'm not really gonna be that active at all. I'm only gonna be here to chat with my friends and post any epiphanies I have about the law of assumption! I also wanna complete myself like pour into my cup first before I pour into other's cups. I'm focusing on manifesting my most important desires. I'm currently still brainstorming and having epiphanies from time to time and I think I just need to hone my manifesting ability until I've found the best thing to do that works for me. Yes, I'm already good at it but I'm an overachiever since I was in school so I'm planning to understand the law better and make my methods even more effective! I'm studying the law not with books but with my own experiences.

Watch out for a post this week or the next week! I have a much better epiphany for you! I realized this new epiphany as I was manifesting for myself. I realized that I have the wrong Pov or mindset when I was doing it. This new one was a game changer for me! I have never wavered again after I wrote down this epiphany and realization I had about loa! I'm so excited to share this soon with everyone!

Ask #1:

I'm sorry but I'm not really the right person to go to. I don't know a lot about the void state and haven't tried it yet because I've been manifesting quite well on my own so I felt like I didn't need it. I would suggest that you go to someone like @therealitysculptor because if I remember correctly they do have void posts.

Ask #2:

I've seen you ask someone else for this. Oh I think it's @therealitysculptor

Just searched for it on her blog and I completely agree with her answer so I'll insert that here.

Anytime you manifest, it will always end up materializing anyway so why focus heavily on the 3d? I would recommend doing umbrella affirmations that imply that you have it now both in the 4d and 3d.

"It's done. I already have everything that I want."

"Everything in my life is perfect"

"I always get what I want"

"Everything is always working in my favor"

"It has manifested. I have it now."

Ask #3:

This is another familiar one and I have been seeing other bloggers answer this. I'm sorry but I don't really get the question. Do you want everyone to have a crush on you or just the two SP's? There's no desire that's unrealistic if you believe in it.

Ask #4:

You can listen to a moving to your desired country subliminal to help you along with manifesting that! I recommend reading Neville's Barbados success story!

Here is something I read that might help you!

Replace Barbados with the country you wanna move to so you could understand better.

Ask #5:

Hi! Yes, you can manifest any SP that you like. Reality is malleable and you can change anything about them from bad to good. Just don't focus on things about the SP that you do not like. Change that thing to something good. My boyfriend did not know me before so yes, it's possible to manifest someone who doesn't really notice your existence. About the partner thing, this is only what I've heard from loa coaches. If you want something then it's meant for you but personally I don't really have that experience of manifesting someone who already has a partner so you might have to ask other loa bloggers.

Ask #6:

You have to remember that whatever you think is an affirmation so if you're saying that to yourself then you should stop doing that. You decide which thoughts you give power or attention to. Please stop paying attention or focusing on things that you don't want. That's my number one rule about the 3d. Instead of that, just remind yourself that you have your results and be in the state of the wish fulfilled a.k.a living in the end. I always remind myself that I already have my subliminal results so I listen to subliminals fully relaxed knowing I have my results.

Whenever you think about your results just remind yourself gently, "I have my full results, there's nothing to worry about. It's done." and when you say this, I want you to actually consider it done and relax. Persist and assume that you have your results already regardless if you see it or not. Focusing on the lack is not really good for you. It made me mad, angry and anxious when I kept noticing the lack. So I made a decision that I have my desires. I always say "I have all my desires, it's in my reality. It's done." then I would relax in the knowing that it's done. That was always how I manifested quickly. It's when I left the seed I planted alone and watered (reminded/affirmed/decided) it whenever I think about it.

Don't check for results, that's the tip that I've been told about subliminals. Usually, subliminal makers would say that you need to listen for two months to get full results. You can listen to that or you could hear my advice. I want you to listen to your subliminals and don't think against it. Just listen to them and completely detach. All you need to do is listen to them and let it work/let it do its thing. Listen and let it happen. Forget that you even listened to them. It will help you to forget about that, assume you have results now and not think negatively about it. If you do that, you're just working against yourself. Don't be in the way of yourself getting results. Assume that you have your results now and make sure not to check for the results all the time. It's like you're asking it where the results are and the subliminal just says "I have silky hair"

Checking for results is literally contradicting what the subliminals are saying to your subconscious mind. It's like sabotaging yourself and your results. It's better to relax and just assume you have it now. Think the things that the subliminal would tell your subconscious mind. What I mean is to align your thoughts with the subliminals you're listening to. For example, you're listening to a specific hair subliminal. Instead of checking and still focusing and complaining about how you don't like how your hair looks, don't check and just think thoughts that align with what you actually want which is what your hair subliminal is saying. Focusing on time is not really good as well so stop marking the time and how much you're listening to it. Just keep listening and persisting! If it has worked for me and so many others then it will work on you too!

Ask #7:

First of all, the only one stopping your daydreams from being real is you. Imagination is the real reality. That is what I always heard when it comes to the law of assumption and it's true. The only difference is you're seeing these daydreams as a far-off impossible dream and all you need to do to change that is yes, remember them as the past or a memory! Just tell yourself that it happened and accept it as the truth.

Ask #8:

In the back of mind ik that I can manifest easily or once I want to/start manifesting, it will be easy for me. But I'm ALWAYS worried about failure, what if I fails? I would never be able to trust in abilities again, i would spiral sooo much. I have fear of failure 😔 that's the biggest reason of my procrastination too😭😭

That's because you're giving power and your attention to failure. Whatever you focus on, you will get more of it. Stop focusing on failure because it will give you just more failure. Instead of that, why don't you focus on your success stories? Worrying means you're not in the state of having it. You either have it or you don't. Failure helps us learn when it comes to the law, trust me. I've been having amazing epiphanies when I look at what I'm failing at or what I need to improve on or what I'm doing wrong. It always helped me to brainstorm to find out what is the better thing to do for me. I think you would manifest better with commanding your subconscious mind method which is one of my favorite techniques. You just need to command your subconscious and trust that it will do that for you but you need to relax to do that. That might suit you better. For example: "Subconscious mind I command you to make me have my desired hair." Just say that in your mind and trust that it's gonna get that for you/it's being carried out by your subconscious mind. All you need to do is relax and make yourself busy doing something you love.

I had a fear of failure too but my love for myself and the desire to make me and the people I love happy was bigger than that so I made a decision to stop acknowledging that. Try relaxing and doing what makes you happy in between applying the law of assumption. It will help you relax in the knowing that it's done.

Ask #9:

Hi, I was wondering how can I get started on manifesting and how I can make my crush notice me back with the advice ❤️

Here are helpful links that will help you learn about the basics of the law of assumption! Some of them are videos, one of them is a post! I also included a video about manifesting an SP.

💎 💎 💎 💎 💎

Stick to the basics. All you need to do is to assume that he always looks at you and notices you all the time. Don't focus on the 3d because that is letting the old story stay. Make sure to remember that you're not trying to manifest, you're not manifesting, consider what you want a reality now and remind yourself that it's done.

[chainofclovers]

New thought about the question of whether the ending montage is a dream or not: it's not a dream in that all those things do happen, but we see it sped up and filtered through different light because we're seeing it through how Ted would want it to be. He has to believe everyone will be okay, and he has to trust that this will be true even without him rushing in to help everyone out, because otherwise sticking to his decision to return to Kansas will feel deeply painful instead of sad but peaceful. All the little projections into the future are things that occur, but the reality of them is so much more than these sunny little blips--they require work, hard conversations, disappointments, clumsiness, leaps of faith. They might not be the right relationships and jobs and decisions forever, but they all feel right in the moment. The people of Richmond are equipped to handle the complexities of that now, and Ted may hear about some or all of these things with the fullness of those complexities, but in this moment of leaving it has to be enough for him to believe in the happy moments.

As an audience, we get to experience the impossibility of seeing a reality Ted isn't physically there for through Ted's eyes.

And because it isn't Ted's story but it also obviously totally is Ted's story, his ending is the only one we experience more-or-less in real time, albeit with a jump from the day of his arrival to his experience coaching Henry's soccer team. The comparative smallness of his world (press conferences and parties at Leslie's house and big group dinners vs. one youth league soccer game) isn't because we're meant to believe his world is small now, or because all the distance from other people he loves has to be forever, but because zooming in on him as an active, present father is his happiest possible ending in this arc. Being with Henry is the happiness equivalent to his dream (or "dream," or manifestation) of the happiness his Richmond community finds with each other. It's sad but happy but sad but happy, how much this one choice to go to Kansas ripples into everything, just as much as Rebecca's choice to bring him to Richmond in the first place.

We have to trust there's more work and growth to be done, more choices and possibilities that will feel like choices and possibilities, but we also have to see enough glimpses of happiness to believe that work is worth it, and that's why the montage starts and ends while he's still on the plane, leaving one home, on the way to another, but currently in neither place.

(And yes, I know that Brendan Hunt's AMA confirmed that the vision was for the montage to comprise actual events, not just a dream. I respect that--and I was actually extremely into his explanation for why Ted isn't at the wedding. I still think there's something to be said for the way Ted jolts awake on the plane, as well as the lighting choices from basically the moment he's on the plane onward.)

[amongthe141]

The Gifts that keep on giving...Part 1

Summary: Head cannons for if reader was stuck with some Task Force 141 and KorTac men (With some surprises) for Christmas, what would be the best surprise gift to give them?...UGLY SWEATER EDITION

Challenge of: @glitterypirateduck CODHOLIDAY2023 (Yes I'm early but I have a lot of stuff I'm trying to do for this Challenge and really, who doesn't start celebrating the day after Thanksgiving...am I right?!?!).

See below for the movie inspiration for these head cannons for challenge :P

Captain John Price

Would blush when handed the present. Him being Captain and in charge knew you were up to something when you pleaded for him to allow an extra crate onboard. So when handed the soft pressed present the blush is part surprise and embarrassment that he didn't have a gift for you. He would take his time unwrapping it to only get that shit eating smile when he looked at it, immediately putting it on and pulling out a cigar to match the reindeer. You completely forgot that it wasn't the completed look and ran to grab the Santa Hat replacement for your dear Captain.

Simon Ghost Riley

You would be too nervous to watch him open up the present, because let's face it his big wondering brown eyes would just stare at you and would make your anxiety literally kill you before he would even open it should you have waited. But it was your eyes that couldn't leave him as he walked out of his corner room where you placed the simple present with a simple "Ghost" written on it sporting the sweater like it was nothing. As he walked by headed to where Johnny was shouting at him that his sweater was better than Ghosts and the lot of them, you believe you heard a little ghost whisper "Cheeky" along with a thanks.

Johnny Soap MacTavish

As soon as he saw you round the corner the inner child in him escalated his voice and excitement to mock level 10, thank goodness you weren't in a spot where it was imperative to remain silent. Sometimes his accent made words hard to understand but he was a rambling mess currently. He had the wrappings off and the sweater on in a heartbeat and he would go running around showing off his sweater to everyone and scolding their "ok" sweater choices before returning to you as he lifted you up off your feet for a hug. He would of course then bring out the secret booze he had for everyone for Christmas.

Kylie Gaz Garrick

Would be completely shell shocked silent as you slid the wrapped gift you made sure was perfectly wrapped for him. He would look at you then the gift a couple times before you told him to hurry up before you opened it for him. He wouldn't ruin the wrapping paper and you would sigh in utter suspense until he had the wrapping paper off the sweater perfectly. He would grin up at you uttering how perfect this was and later as the ugly sweater party died down would sit next to you as you shared a tablet watching Home Alone together.

Alex Keller

His extremely loud boisterous laugh would strip away the sudden fear that overcame you as you watched him open the present you thought was the perfect sweater for him. It was a sudden ping inside yourself that perhaps the ugly sweater you picked out was the wrong choice...too insensitive...perhaps too soon...which wasn't the case to your instant relief. You had been there to help Alex through his rehab and not once did Alex ever show of slowing down. It would become Alex's go to sweater for Christmas for years to come and also became a staple request that any actual Gingerbread cookies with missing legs were reserved for him and him alone.

Alejandro Vargas

It was well known that you and Alejandro had a thing for tacos. During your stay with his task force you were introduced to authentic and unbelievably flavorable tacos, much so that months later you had to beg him to coach you over Zoom on how to cook it since Taco Bell fell flat. "You ruined fastfood tacos for life now Ale, you owe me". At first he was confused why ugly sweaters were a thing but soon just shook his head laughing at you as he stripped off his shirt and put it on.

Jesus Chuy Ordaz

Chuy would be sitting silently laughing at Ale and what you just did to him until you plopped his present on his lap. He about rolled his eyes at you but stopped. Not like he would actually talk out loud because the guy is a silent guy but you knew he couldn't deny that ugly sweater was perfect for him. (You know a silent guy like that has a loud ass small dog waiting for him at home that also has a big attitude and is completely spoiled by him...fight me on this cannon I dare you).

Konig

You couldn't explain it but Konig's eyes got even wider underneath the hood when he took his sweater out of his Christmas bag. You and the big guy had been bonding over monster movies over Halloween holiday and you just had to continue the trend. You had your own sweater for the occasion, but you also showed Konig that you had one too of the same exact sweater because it literally was your favorite ugly sweater too. The next day you ordered him the T-Shirt version as you couldn't help but notice, and how police and quiet he was not to upset you, that he was burning up too much in the sweater version.

Horangi

Honestly, why wouldn't Horangi have a Tiger ugly Christmas Sweater (You know who you are you little 141 Monster AU writers). You didn't approve of his horrible gambling problems, but you couldn't help yourself from giving him a card game of blackjack to see which sweater he would end up with. Oh, believe me they both would have tigers in them, but they weren't as atrocious as the ugly one he lost to having. Not to mention you sewed in actual bells to jingle as he walked around on the wreath part. He actually deep down loved it because honestly tigers are the cats meow.

BONUS

Philip Graves

You thought to yourself, could there not be a more perfect sweater out there. And you were right, the man ate it up and wore it several times this Christmas and multitudes of Parties. You both loved and hated it but Christmas was about joy and giving. You did kindly have to decline his attempts at inviting you to go with him until you had to tell him off that you would have no choice but to return him if he asked again.

OOC BONUS

Frank Woods

@efingart I hope you enjoy this sweater as much as I do for Frank. Though of course nothing compares to his skin for Black Ops Cold War. If you know, you know...mistletoe!

SELFISH BONUS

Nikto

You knew he probably wouldn't get the reference but Nikto gladly wore your sweater along with the shiny black new knife that you had packaged with a red bow along with the sweater. You thought it was really cute how he walked around showing everyone the knife and how well it fit in your leg pocket for easy access and how the handle gripped nicely. It was more then the seldom one words he used or the growls and gruffs you usually got more of than most.

WRITERS BONUS

What I'd wear if I was the reader.

@glitterypirateduck I can't really place where my love for Ugly Sweaters came from BUT it's in one of my favorite KINDA Christmas holiday movies on the modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice.

[makethemhoesmad]

Sorry this took me a minute to officially get out and so sorry if it’s bad. This is my first time actually releasing my writing for anyone to read other than me. It’s also kinda short because 1) I only worked on it for around a weekish and the latest episode parts of the night 2) I really wanted to get at least the prologue out before the end of the week which I did so yay me! But honestly if you have any tips, critiques or recommendations for the next part I will really appreciate it!! Enjoy lovelys🫶

🪐

(this has also not been proof read or really edited once I officially finish part one I will probably re-do this I have just been busy and wanted to get this done. I’m also not 100% sure about the title so if you have a opinion on that lmk babe)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take me home

prologue: Beginning of the end

Pairing: paige bueckers x Azzi fudd

Themes: promptly fluff

Warnings: none that i’m aware of!

June 26th 2018

(Paige’s pov)

It was the final week of the rounds for try-outs for team USA when we were split into two teams that we would be on this week. Some of the girls on my team I recognized from the previous try-out days.

There was one girl I didn't recognize, but she was pretty good from what i’ve seen. There wasn't any denying she was going to make the team. As I watched the girl walk over to the water table I had convinced myself to go and talk to her.

“Hey i’m paige” I extend my hand out giving the briefly smaller girl, who’s currently sliding on the jerseys we got during the beginning of try-outs.

"Oh" The girl slightly jumped. "Um sorry hi, Azzi" She smiled reaching her hand out to meet mine.

Her smile immediately lights up the room instantly causing me too return one to the slightly shorter girl. Once our hands meet the feeling of warmth they bring to my normally cold hands, and the instant feeling of comfort she brings me.

"-uh Paige?" Bringing me back from whatever I was a soft, and gentle voice calling out my name.

"Sorry, zoned out for a minute" I responded with a reassuring smile trying not to make it awkward. "But uh, Azzi like Jennifer Azzi?"

"Yeah, actually it is" Her comforting smile now bigger than before she explains while I just listen throwing in my thoughts here and there to keep our conversation afloat. But before I knew it, it had already been fifteen minutes and we were about to start practicing.

"-But uh fun fact! you’re the first person outside of my family to know where I got my name from" The now grinning girl confessed as we were walking to the baseline.

By the time we reached the other side of the court we then started running simple exercises and drills. Which had eventually got tiring enough before coach had finally ended today’s session.

"Okay ladies good practice, remember to get some rest and be prepared for tomorrow we will be splitting up starting tomorrow. And I believe that is all I have for you, you are dismissed" Coach explained for the following day officially ending practice.

Before leaving I caught up to the girl currently walking ahead of me before stopping her. "I think it's cool you know" I looked at the girl in front of me with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Your name. I think it's cool that you're named after someone that good" I couldn't help but smile at the girl before walking out of the arena in the hot summer air.

ahh! it’s finally out once again i’m sorry if it didn’t reach any expectations so please please let me know your thoughts and would appreciate your feedback! bye babe🫶

ong rhis is amazing

[codename-adler]

tell me more abt your aftg ocs. any of them. please

IT WILL BE MY PLEASURE (official unofficial list here)

The one currently rotating in my head is:

Wade Vesper (36) FBI Agent

Born 3-4 years ago, in the very beginnings of Steady Now/The Trojan Court, he was created because I needed a legal guardian for one beloved Adèle Moreau. And because I can never leave well enough alone, and Pedro Pascal as Joel Miller happened, I couldn't let the man be a simple cardboard cut out, now, could I? In truth, he is actually one of my favorite OCs of the whole lineup/universe. I love him so much. I enjoy his story so much. I hope you will too.

When Wade was a Junior in college (22), he met Assistant Coach James Rhemann (27), who helped train their college's Exy team, which Wade was a part of (#backliner). The two men bonded so much that when Rhemann was offered a higher paid position at USC, Wade followed him there despite being on the cusp of starting his senior year.

Sadly, a double tragedy strikes Wade. One of them being Rhemann refusing to pursue what they have with each other, refusing to acknowledge the love there, and shutting out Wade completely in critical times. Rhemann did it with Wade's best intentions at heart, of course, but it was also a cowardly move for the exit: James is in too much of a position of power over Wade for the relationship to possibly healthy, and there's the age gap, and the homophobic times, and- Wade would have fought, if he thought he was wanted. But James made it clear.

Being orphaned at 23 by a suspiciously freak accident also didn't help Wade's head and heart to stay above water. If he couldn't have James support through this unbearable tragedy, why would Wade stay a second longer? Why would he even try? What was the point of it all? Goodbye mother, goodbye father, goodbye little sister, goodbye Exy, goodbye uni. Goodbye James.

Hello FBI training camp. Armed only with his need for revenge and closure, Wade aces the program and becomes one of the youngest recruits at 24. While James ascended to official Head Coach for the Trojans at only 31, Wade cumulates the gruesome cases, all solved, thank you very much. Both men keep thoughts of the other at bay, though James does not keep up with Wade's life, tries to dedicate his whole life and heart to his team, tries to forget everything about relationships and broken hearts. Wade watches every success and failure of James from afar, no matter which state or country he's in. He can't help it. After some years, it becomes a comfortable routine, though. Like brushing your teeth and making dinner and running at 5am. It becomes bittersweet, but almost completely scarred over.

While Wade's personal case remains unsolved, he's 27 when he falls head first into the case of his life: tasked with protecting Adèle Moreau, surviving daughter of the Moreau crime family that had fallen to ruin in France years ago, Wade cannot let go of her once it is time to hand her over to Witness Protection.

Adoption it is. Never in a million years would Wade have imagined being the legal guardian of a girl with ties to the mafia, one that could be killed any moment, one that chips at his fortress of a heart and ice-cold of an exterior. One that mends his heart in ways he never thought possible. One that takes only months to heal parts of him he never even considered were broken, when years of relentless work had done barely anything. Light of his life, and whatever.

But for years, she survives, and so does he, and they're even happy together. Until. It's always 'until'.

Neil Josten, aka Nathaniel Wesninski, opens his big fat mouth and reveals awful things, opens up gates that should have stayed locked. Adèle learns about Jean Moreau, learns about USC, hides the little she knows about her past and her file, and somehow lands both her and Wade in SoCal, under the pretense of joining the excellent gymnastics program at USC.

So here Wade Vesper stands, at 36, juggling life as a father, a decorated FBI agent, and a still broken-hearted man over a love story that never was with a man he is now crossing paths with again. None of the people involved are ready for what lies at USC. Old wounds will bleed, cycles will be repeated or broken, and Wade will have to decide if it is better to speak, or to die.

[thisdreamplace]

Dream, I hope this doesn't sound whiny to you. I really have no one to go to and you have always been so kind and gentle to your followers so I'm here.

I have been on this journey for a few years now. Like many others I have only ever had small success stories. Now, when they happened I was shocked and excited and I believed the law completely. But then I tried others things and they didn't work.

I have seen so many bigger success stories across Tumblr, Reddit and Youtube coaches and I can't believe all of this people are lying or all their success stories are just them getting lucky. I have seen physical success proof too.

I understand the law and how we make the rules and all that. That It's not the technique it's us that manifests. I am also applying it. I'm not perfect. I break down often, get anxious. I tell myself it's okay. I have also always been a very imaginative person and I imagine based on what I'm feeling. Which is often sad scenarios lol. I also swing between mindsets, as in impressing the subconscious, praying to higher self and just using consciousness to stay in the state.

I have a very beautiful script of my dream life and I want to live it bad. But I can't seem to make it. Thoughts of aging, being physically weak and getting diseases also creep up and I break down.

What do I even do? I don't want to live a bad life. I would really appreciate some advice, kind words, or anything really from you or even your followers.

hi <3 i hope i'm able to help u in some way sweet anon~

the thing is for me,, when i experienced a lot of what you mentioned, those scary things that creep up and all that, i sat with it. i made myself really sit with those scary feelings, allowed myself the moment of experiencing what feels like, and like that the feelings dispersed more and more. it was a practice i chose to do, that not many are willing to do. but for me it meant freedom. if i can sit with these things, they cant hurt me anymore. they stopped being so scary because i kept moving forward, more lighter and free within myself. and i really, really wanted to be free

now im not saying you HAVE to do that, it's just what worked for me. but reading your message reminded me of that time because, on a level you're one foot in and one foot out. and it seems there's a part of you that simply isnt ready to commit to that life you dream of. without realizing, the life we dont want but are currently living does have a level of comfort and safeness within it, even when we don't like it. because more than anything it's familiar, and our ego clings to familiarity. even if its not the best thing for us.

so with that being said, moving forward, its really about finally choosing yourself over choosing the fears. and sometimes that takes time, but keep building yourself up for it little by little until youre finally ready to fully leave the old way behind.

you got this, just be kind and patient and understanding with yourself along the way <3

and dw, you dont seem whiny at all! its always a safe space :3

this journey isnt always the easiest, so i'm here for yall xo