#but of course he did

[shalpilot]

see it’s hard to title this because it’s about forgiveness but that has A Different Meaning in ShB lmao. but anyways…. them..!!!!

[projectjasper]

pond covered to you at today's event 🥹 i always just think about what a lovely person he is and how much he does for the people around him

[hyp-no-tic]

#TheKristElementsConcert

29.08.2023

[anyknotrants]

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: of course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *chokes on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Bruce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

[dcxdpdabbles]

Tucker: We're married.

Danny: What?

Tucker: If anyone asks you and I are married. We've been married for two years. Not platonic roommates. Understand?

Danny: I'm always down for marriage fraud, but can I ask why?

Tucker: *Sigh* We had a big company meeting today with every level employee at the event center the Wayne rent out. Tammy from accounts was assigned to my table-

Danny: Your mortal enemy.

Tucker: Exactly. So she started giving me grief in the middle of our team exercise project. The other four random employees are looking at me all wide eye and I'm getting tired so I say "Is it because I'm gay Tammy?" To shut her up. But at that time, Timothy Drake Wayne was walking behind me and heard me say it. He jumped in to ask what was going on, and I hate Tammy for being so annoying, but I am not about to accuse her of discrimination for no reason. So I said "Oh it was just a joke. Like on the internet." And then when Mr.Drake-Wayne face didn't relax, I blurted out."My husband thinks my jokes are dumb too"

Danny: Tucker....that's not good

Tucker: I know! I started panicking!

Danny: You ramble when you panic.

Tucker: I do, and I did. Before I realized it, I told Mr. Drake-Wayne, this whole made up childhood friends to lover romance between you and I. It was so good he told me to invite you to the office. So we're married. Please go along with it. If I can get Mr. Drake-Wayne's support I can rise in the company so fast.

Danny: Promotions are 50% networking. Alright, sure, what's the worst that can happen?

Five months later

Steph: What's the big emergency?

Tim sobbing:. I'm in love with the husband of one of my employees.

Steph: Tim....that's not good

[chloesimaginationthings]

The Aftons are a very normal FNAF couple

[barbiediamondcastleofficial]

guys Sasha is not the responsible one in the archives. She saw a weird guy with fucked up hands and an uncanny laugh and immediately followed him to several secondary locations. I’m SO sorry to say this but the only og archives crew member with self-preservation instincts is Tim

[twotwelvegold]

cody discovers the 212th's mascot, commewnder meowdy

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[neigepomme]

˙ ✩°˖ 🐦‍⬛ mon amour / sylus x reader

synopsis; you knew that sylus could speak several languages. what you didn't take into account though, is how lethal he sounds flirting with you in the most romantic language in the world.

🍎 pomme's notes - putting my french knowledge to use.. translation for the words sylus uses at the end!!

⋆ 1.1k words / fluff & suggestive at the end / fem reader / 2nd person

your cheeks were burning, and the man in front of you was smirking, making you feel even more infuriated. how could he get even sexier?!

"that's enough, sylus", you huff out.

how did you get here? great question.

you were lounging on the settee in his office and reading a book when he picked up a call in a foreign language — one you recognized as french. sylus spoke several languages, and you knew that, but you weren't aware he was that fluent. oh, and sexy sounding, but he didn't need to know that yet. 

when he hung up, you cleared your throat, catching his attention. looking up from his papers, he stares at you with his habitual laid-back expression. judging from your barely hidden smile though, he can guess you're after something. sylus stands up and walks around his desk to face you better, choosing to lean against it rather than invade the space where you're seated for once.

“something's the matter, sweetie?”

you hum, your smile widening. you never thought your intro to french class in high school would come in handy, but it turns out life is full of surprises.

“i didn't know you spoke french, monsieur sylus.”

ah, your curiosity stemmed from the foreign language at the tip of his tongue. sylus laughed softly, taking a step in your direction. he'd spoken various languages around you, mostly in business contexts, and never failed to observe how your eyes twinkled at the words coming out of his mouth. however, this was the first time you had commented on it, and he was going to use that to his advantage. standing in front of you now, his gaze flickered to your lips. was he trying to pull a reaction out of you?

“i do, mon ange. interested in hearing more? you know that i'd indulge you if you asked.”

hearing him calling you his angel in french did some things to your stomach, you'll give him that — feeling the heat rise in your face, you quickly explain how you took some french in high school. in response, he leans back and raises his hand to his chin, as if pondering something, and judging from the smirk growing on his face, it can't be good for you.

“perhaps we should converse a bit to refresh your knowledge, shall we, doll? i'll even use simple words.”

oh. that was more tame than you thought, seems like he decided not to tease the blush on your cheeks. you nod, and give him your best attempt at a greeting, to which he chuckles a bit — probably from your rusty pronunciation. he responds patiently and corrects any pronunciation mistakes you make. this was sweet, no hidden motives, which surprised you.

well, that was an error in your judgment, it seems, because he most definitely did have ulterior motives. 

now leaning back down and caging your body between the seat and himself, sylus cleared his throat a bit, aiming to impress you with his smooth french. it was the language of romance after all, wasn't it? and what a fool would he be if he didn't romance you.

“my turn to show off, mon amour.”

oh fuck. you were doomed.

“what to tell you, hm? oh, i know. je t'aime, je t'adore, mon cœur.”

your heart was beating concerningly fast at the sudden love declarations. did he have no shame? the answer was a resounding no, judging from how he was invading your space and relishing in your bated breaths and flushed cheeks.

“tu es rouge, mon amour. quelque chose te gêne? tell me all about it, mon ange.”

pushing weakly against his shoulders, you looked away from his intense gaze. if you kept looking into his eyes, you were most definitely going to melt from the inside out at how attractive he was.

and sylus knew that — of course he did, he could read you like a damn open book, and right now, you were putty in his hands. who knew flirting with you in french would have that effect? he did, most likely.

“sylus, you're being unfair.”

finally gathering your courage, you glared at him and tried your damnedest to look angry. although you don't think it looked very intimidating because of the red cheeks and all, but that was just a hunch. i mean, what could you even do in this situation? you were faced with an insanely gorgeous man, a well-read and clever one at that — who wouldn't swoon? but this was unfair. come on, throwing all those cute pet names at you with his smooth voice, in french, was a calculated move, one planned with your demise in mind.

and were you gonna go down without a fight? absolutely not. whether you'd win or not was debatable, though.

so you did the only thing that seemed rational. the only thing that had a chance at shutting him up and sparing you from the (very attractive, might i add) french love declaration sylus was spouting.

grabbing onto his shirt, you pull him in for a kiss, just a quick peck to shock him enough into stopping. but while his eyes widened in shock, it was not enough to stop him from teasing you.

what was it again about you winning the fight? yeah, no. sylus wasn't known as the relentless conqueror for nothing — and as he deepened the kiss, you would quickly find out that the language wasn't the only thing he knew that was french.

french kissing, too.

you yelped into his mouth when he bit your lower lip, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth while he was at it. cupping your cheeks, you could feel yourself melt into him and his stupidly good kisses. his hands started moving down, roaming over your body, as if trying to commit it to memory — though he likely already had from previous nights spent together. you started feeling light-headed from the intensity of it all and pushed him away, desperately trying to catch your breath. 

and infuriatingly enough, the smug look on his face could not be erased. could you really blame him, though? sylus was looking at the most beautiful person he'd ever have the chance to encounter, flushed and staring up at him with desire plastered over her face — all of it after he showed off his intellectual and physical prowess. he was a man, after all, a very, very proud and greedy one at that.

“you know, kitten, if you take off your clothes, i could draw you like a french girl. we could go three for three when it comes to french things.”

that pulled you out of the hazy state he put you in, slipping from his grasp and running out the door with a vicious blush on your face still — all while he laughed at how cute you looked flustered.

sylus was gonna be the death of you one day. you had to make sure he never learned you also picked up on some spanish, lest he tries to introduce you to spanish passion through physical means or something.

🍎 pomme's final notes - BEEP BEEP!! pomme translator at your service

"je t'aime, je t'adore, mon cœur." - i love you, i adore you, my heart

"tu es rouge, mon amour. quelque chose te gêne? tell me all about it, mon ange." - you're red, my love. something bothering you? tell me all about it, my angel.

i had a lot of fun with this one hehe..

[cacaocheri]

they do sappy shit like this all the time

[rocktheholygrail]

Hannibal (2013-2015)

1x12 - “Relevés”

[dreadark]

the difference between till at the start of round 6 and round 7

he doesn't seem like he's trying at all during round 6, having already fully given up living after losing mizi

but in round 7, even though he's lost even more, he's clearly putting all he has left into it

and the reason for that... has to be ivan, right?

he must have recognized ivan sacrificed himself for him, so for the sake of ivan's feelings till tries his absolute best to respond to them and perform that till sings at all here is for ivan

...but at the same time ivan is what haunts him

obviously, right? there's no way watching someone you were so close to you die like that right in front of you can give you actual "strength" (and this isn't even getting into the kiss...) contrary to ivan's (clearly wrong) conviction that till doesn't care enough for him to become a trauma to him, that's exactly what happens

this inextricable mix of love and hate, hurting and healing... this is the tragedy of their relationship to the end no matter how much ivan and till care for each other, they can't ever cure each other

[stummysnort]

great news: they let juno steel say fuck

for those of you not on twitter:

here is the google drive link to the .wav and the original tweet

[anbaisai]

local octopus shot on sight

Bonus of said prefect:

[josephsaturn]

I think that “Anakin was a slave child who was groomed by Palpatine and raised by someone who wasn’t ready to take on a child, thereby leaving him in a social limbo state where he’s surrounded by people but only has a few close confidants, with the one he trusts the most actively trying to take advantage of him”

and

“Anakin was taught right from wrong from a young age, first by his mother and then by Kenobi, but any time he was presented with a choice, actively CHOSE WRONG EVERY SINGLE TIME”

are two sentences that can, should, and MUST coexist to fully understand Anakin Skywalker as a character