#but like...what if I am...being misogynistic...on...

[iamthetruenhaz]

Disclaimer, this will be a mess. It's 2am, I can't English (I can't Bulgarian either), which means this will be incoherent and the thoughts will be like those of a caveman. Might edit later.

I don't know who Bell Hooks is but I've been seeing a lot of outrage about this post as well as similar posts (I think I've had some too.

The left's problem (mostly from women) is that it's seen as a given that if men feel hated enough, they'll fall into the alt right. So they respond with "if you get radicalized just by some women not being nice to you, you were misogynistic to begin with and we were right to be mean to you".

Which is only partially true. We have a saying in my language - kick a dog enough times and it will start biting. People snap. People react to what they see as unjust, undeserved abuse. Especially when they haven't identified their inborn or ingrown biases that they might not be aware of. (And before you say it, that's really hard to do because "biased person" is automatically taken to mean "bad person" and no one wants to see themselves as a bad person, you only overcome that painful shame by realizing that having biases is something very much human and doesn't in and of itself make you worse than most people, especially if you learn to examine and confront those biases). So people, including men, have a limit to what they can take before they snap. And there's the alt right just waiting to offer you a sense of purpose as a big strong alpha chad male, and put the blame on those evil, evil bad women.

But here's the thing. Two things, actually:

First thing, empathy. You see women being angry at men, all men - let's not pretend that in a moment of anger anyone bothers to make distinctions and avoid sweeping generalizations. Let's just be honest about that. Maybe it's because I always had a number of female friends, including my best friend, and thus was able to get female perspectives on things like MeToo, but it's essential to listen with the intent to understand. I know a lot of women say their male friends just turn a blind eye and start to be willfully blind to their issues but I guess you have to have "women are just as much people as I am and not fundamentally different" as an imperative on a subconscious level and somehow that's not always a given.

Second, critical thinking. Just because someone offers you some "comfort" and "purpose" or what have you, doesn't mean you can't look at them critically and see what they are really about (forgive me, I can't English, it's past midnight). Even if - actually ESPECIALLY IF - they start offering you comfort out of nothing.

I can't say I haven't been tempted to drop down that pipeline, I've felt resentful, unfairly blamed, mistreated. But the language, the attitude, the mindset in those communities, that always just put me off. I guess it comes down to what you really want - for people who hurt you to be hurt as you have been, or for no one to get hurt at all anymore.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[gothamiteeditor]

Steph: I’m not going to do it. But what is stopping me from just, yknow, joining Jason’s henchman ranks?

Dick: Steph please-

Steph: It’s not Money. Money isn’t the issue. Is it morality? How far into the color wheel am I? What shade am I?

Dick: Shade? I don’t understand, but please-

Steph: What shade is ‘morally gray’?

Jason: 939597 is the hex code.

Dick: Jay for the love of, Steph isn’t going to be your henchman.

Jason: why? Cause she’s a woman? You got a problem with henchwomen? Are you being misogynistic towards the art of hench?

Dick: Hey hey it has nothing to do with-

Steph: I think I’m like two codes away from that color.

[odinsblog]

[re: this post]

So this neighbor of mine, an older white woman around my mom’s age, who has Multiple Sclerosis and severe scoliosis, as I’m headed out, she comes up to me and says, “Odin! The next two years are going to be great!” And I’m so dumb that it didn’t occur to me what she was talking about, so I go, “What happens in two years?” And she replies, “The Republicans won the election and the next two years are going to be great!” And yeah, I feel a little badly now, but I lost it and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “THEY’RE ALL FUCKING RACISTS! THEY’RE ALL TERRIBLE EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS!”

And she stepped back and she just looked sO confused.

But that didn’t stop her from putting her foot even deeper into her mouth. She immediately goes, “But at least Trump won, right?” And without missing a beat, I said, “He’s an even bigger racist asshole than the other Republicans,” and I just kept on walking past her.

It isn’t like me to snap at anyone like that, especially elders (and especially disabled elders), but I guess there’s always a first time for many things. And it was the day after the election too. I’m still fucking raw about it. I know it might seem like a small thing when you consider all the bad things that are about to happen under a second Trump term, but all I could think about was the conversations I had with my sisters and my mom, and I was sad for them because for the first time, I realized that it was possible that none of them might ever see a Black woman president in their lifetimes, and that made me incredibly sad. (Yeah, yeah, I know all about the dangers of weaponized identity politics, and I know that all skin folk ain’t kin folk — but deep down, I felt how I felt).

Anyway, I keep thinking about how happy that white woman was. If she had approached me differently, or maybe at a different moment in time, perhaps I would have responded with a more reasoned, mature, less visceral tone. But I still feel like she deserved it needed to hear it. Like, read the damn room, lady. I am unambiguously Black. You cannot be that tone deaf and just assume that I would share in your joy about openly racist and misogynistic candidates winning.

LOL, I fully expect to get the “angry Black man” treatment from my neighbors now, because I dared to yell at a white woman. Idc.

I’m still pressed.

[gamer-goo]

@lastdayofouracquaintance gonna do an actual post for this so it’s not all in replies and also I can go point by point.

To start, the problem with the word Degenerate is not homophobia or transphobia(it has been used for many, many more groups like Marxists, disabled people, Jewish people, etc), it is that the word necessarily implies a norm to have been degenerated from, hence why it is used for all these groups. It is a word that constructs an ideal that is extremely useful to conservatives and reactionaries for that reason.

As for the “female subordination point” let me paint a picture. I am a lesbian, I am a transgender woman, and most importantly for this conversation, I am a rape victim. When I have sex with someone where we pretend that I am violating their consent, it is with women, occasionally with other victims. Does this eroticize female subordination? I won’t disagree that it eroticizes rape but that’s. The point sort of! When men perform CNC scenes with other men is that playing at female subordination? Quite possibly the most damning question is: what about when a woman is the perpetrator and the man is the victim in this scene? For you to lay a blanket statement like that reads to me as someone who does actually have an abstract disgust and has tried to justify that rather than challenge it. Me being a sexual sadist is something that feels good for me and for my partners, we discuss it, establish limits, make clear what kinds of aftercare we both need(would you believe that the perpetrator in these scenes also needs aftercare? Wow!), all because it is mutual and safe. I can tell you from intimate experience it is not even remotely about female subordination, it’s about dominance and about control, and subordination in general in a sexual sense!

As for pet play playing into misogynistic tropes I’ve got zero clue what you’re talking about. What about someone putting their partner on a leash or making them bark or eat out of a bowl or locking them in a crate is misogynist. I think you’re talking out of your ass on this one.

As for the race play question you asked in a different reply, I can’t answer you! I’m a white woman who doesn’t have a raceplay kink! But again I think you’re falling into the trap of thinking about these kinks as one sided, something with a victim. Do you have any consideration for when the “victim” is the instigator? Relating it to the above kinks, when my partners ask me to keep going when they say No, or ask me to put them on a leash, things we discuss and are aware of the risks of and we BOTH consent to! Are these all damning examples of the inherent evil of these kinks?

Put frankly I don’t think I’ll be able to make clear to you how little it is Your Concern what consenting adults do with each other in the bedroom. Like what is your solution, make it illegal? Have classes where we teach people how wrong it is to have a rape kink? Culturally shame people who do them?(we already do this btw! It leads to people doing it irresponsibly and unsafely!) there is a reason I asked your opinion of the word Degenerate, and it’s because you make the same arguments as radfems and sexual conservatives! I sincerely think you need to re-examine your sexual politics, you cannot draw a line without it being moved here. Rape is bad, but when people pretend to rape each other for sexual gratification of both parties involved, that is NOT the same!

To be clear you will not convince me otherwise, these are conclusions I have thought long and hard about and are consistent with my other political beliefs. If you can’t make peace with that, get off my posts and block me.

[coern]

I wanna draw these two guy characters together but I wanna draw yuri so I could always just like. genderbend. or transgender it. but I don't wanna look like I'm just drawing a m/m ship as girls just so i dont look misogynistic

[a-most-beloved-fool]

makes me a little sad when star trek ignores IDIC. like. vulcans are logical. that is true. But 'logical', for vulcans, does not amount to 'without compassion,' and it definitely doesn't amount to 'racial superiority.' Belief in 'infinite diversity in infinite combinations' should NOT result in the weird racist/speciest stuff we're getting in some of the newer treks. It does make sense that some vulcans are discriminatory. They're still flawed. But that should not be common or expected, like it seems to be in SNW. If it is, then it's a race of hypocrites, which. doesn't seem very true to Star Trek's message.

I think TOS Spock does a pretty good job of embodying this. Not always, it was the 60s, after all, but mostly. He was often trying to find non-violent routes, and get by without killing - even if they were in danger or had already been attacked. (See: the mugato, and the horta (until Kirk was the one in danger, lmao. t'hy'la > IDIC), the Gorn ship). Kirk, in his eulogy, calls him the most human soul he's ever known, and I've always read that as Kirk calling out Spock's overwhelming compassion.

It's just so much more interesting when Vulcans get to be radically compassionate. I want them to believe that everything and everyone has value. I want them to respect all ways of being. I want them to find ways for even very non-humanoid aliens to exist unfettered in society. I want them to see hybrids and think that it's amazing. Also, like, disability rep. I want Vulcans to have The Most Accessible Planet and available resources because they want everyone to feel accepted and valued. It makes for better characters and more interesting stories.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

gonna say, something or someone being misogynistic is on its own a good enough reason not to like it or not to spend time with that person. It's not just that misogyny is so normalised that not watching a show or not spending with someone just because of misogyny is treated as not enough of a reason - it's also that as a woman, you are under constant scrutiny and constantly thrown tests to show that you are 'not one of the difficult ones', that you can 'take a joke'.

But 'your friend keeps saying degrading things about women' is a good enough reason not to hang out with that person or not to go to a gathering. 'i read the last book by his author and it was deeply misogynistic' is a good enough reason why you don't want to read things by that author anymore. 'This comedian specifically makes a lot of mean-spirited jokes about women' reason enogh not to watch that or see that show, even if your friends want to go. 'This content creator keeps going on weird tangents about women' reason enough not to watch their stuff or support them.

and it is especially a very good reason not to date someone.

[kittykatninja321]

can I be a hater for a second whenever I see the fic trope of “Talia purposely told Jason about Tim to get Jason to attack him” I’m like guys I’m gonna be real with you I don’t think Talia would care about that little boy at all

[spelllingandthemysteryschool]

honestly it makes me feel deeply anti-feminist just to, like, exist as a person when my mood is so drastically altered in the week leading up to my period... i get so so so depressed and easily disheartened & i am aware that i don’t feel right but that doesn’t make it any less difficult to get through. i am sorry women

[sammygender]

years ago i remember someone saying about dave strider that either he’s gay or he’s bisexual but deep down too misogynistic to actually have a fulfilling romantic relationship with a woman. anyway. this is how i see dean winchester

[seeminglyseph]

Watching HBomberguy’s Plagiarism video

[garnetislovegarnetislife]

[dragonfoods]

I will have to read a romantasy book written by a straight man or a lesbian someday just to see if a certain tone is different because a lot of the romantasy books written by women that are attracted to men are just…sometimes…interesting in a bad way

“She was the strongest, most compassionate, most intelligent, kindest, most generous woman that ever existed. All the wise older characters like to pull her aside to tell her this. Unlike all the dumb evil cows that just wanted MMC for his hot body and deep pockets, FMC wanted MMC for his mind and his beautiful soul” just gives off a weird vibe

[flugame-mp3]

what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.

[sysig]

He’s my little meow meow, my darling, my bbygirl (Patreon)

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

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