#but it is arguably preferable to suck at things and that sucking is not only OK

[system-of-a-feather]

Hiya! Umm... I saw your long AAPI/cultural appropriation essay, and you seem to know what you're talking about. Way more than I do.

I'm in a tricky spot and I don't know what to do about it. (I know you may not be the right person but I don't know who else to ask)

So. I'm a traumagenic system. I was lonely, and anime was there for me. I have introjects, sure. But we're polyfrag and it's fuzzy, and for the whole system it feels more than just a source media thing.

We grew up DREAMING about Japan. We studied japanese and tried to sing the original lyrics of songs and search up their meanings as a kid. I'd sometimes try to make english versions of them. Not to hide the original, but because my family couldn't understand the beauty I saw. And I felt such a connection to it...

Now I'm rambling... 😅

I've always wanted to teach Japanese, to use Japanese every day in my life. When I wrote stories I would go search through all the Japanese to english dictionaries and search for the perfect name with the perfect meaning. I thought all the names were gorgeous and appreciated how special they were.

I try and bring Japanese culture into my life every day, even. I listen to Japanese idol groups and pop. I'm still trying to learn japanese, and further more I want to teach it to my community, to create a place where we can come together and learn this language together, as a small country community. To learn and embrace some of their cultures and try new things along the way.

I know that I am not Japanese. I don't want to appropriate them. But I find them so... or not them. But the language and culture and almost everything I find out has me entranced and wanting to learn more. It almost feels like my purpose, or a huge part of my life. My goal. My mission.

I live on the disability pension. I will probably never see Japan in person, and I've heard disability is frowned upon there anyway, to some degree. I don't know if I could even live there, especially if my workability was low. I'm not so young anymore. Even then there are stories of all the people who aim for their dreams and don't make it there. So I dropped it from my cards. I decided if I couldn't do it there... maybe I could do it where I am.

If I'm culturally appropriating Japan and it's cultures I'm happy to give them all the credit. I'm proud of where I found what I have. I adore it and would lift it up any day. But I also adore what I'm doing, what I'm bringing to life. I'm making some Japanese-Aussie vibe culture hybrid or something. I don't know!

But I wouldn't give it up for anyone. If a Japanese person asked me too... I'd prefer to start life over in Japan with no money or resources to my name. I'd probably prefer to live their homeless. I couldn't organise it myself. But I'd take a harsher punishment rather than let it go. I'd prefer to embrace it entirely than ever give it up.

But people online keep saying that nobody should use the names, the language, the cultures... I don't know what to do. I... don't have an answer.

I don't want to be for something so harmful. But I've posted about how names are beyond something that could be taken away. I've disagreed with people of colour about Japanese examples. I've never met a truly Japanese people, beyond watching lessons and shows and blogs and cultural breakdowns. I don't know what they'd say. I've heard that Japanese people praise other cultures for trying to learn their language, from articles online detailing what foreigners should expect. But I know Japan is big on honour culture, so they might just think it and not say their true thoughts to be polite.

Idk what to do!! I want to uplift everyone around me. To build villages for people who I come in contact with. To create openness and to be respectful and create fond memories. I don't want to go down as someone oppressive. But I want to go down as me.

I have no Japanese heritage, no japanese blood or family. I have no rights except for years with nothing else.

I know the answer some people would give is to embrace my own culture. But well... Aussie culture is sort of memes and culture-mix-soup. Beyond white man capitalism and conquering and the white people bible. Aussie culture is "it's hot here and we're like smart, funky, weird sounding bogans". I sort of want more than that.

I want to preserve their (Japans) culture how I found it, if I can. If I accidentally tamper with it, I want to say that, to let it be known. But I like how it is too mostly.

There are some negatives to it too, I know. Like, LGBT rights in Japan, the mental illness stuff, and more. But I'm not willing to leave because of those bad things.

Sometimes moving forward means taking aspects of different places and furthering them together to make something new. Is that cultural appropriation? Will I get in trouble for doing that? And how can I progress it/myself, how can I aspire and dream of a better world if all the jigzaw blocks are forced down to the table and unmovable. What do I do?

I don't understand it. And I don't know what to do about it.

Help.

(sorry it is so long. Sorry 😅😥)

Reading this back, I feel like the indignant child. "I don't want the other one, I want that one." Is that bad? Idk.

I'll just leave this here. What is your take? What do you& think?

Yeah thats a complex situation that I don't really have any kneejerk direct opinions on it towards. I might actually leave this in my drafts for a bit to think about it some cause theres a multi-dimensional aspect to it and a lot to consider that even I don't think I'm entirely all that knowledgable to comment on

(Especially regarding Japanese culture as I am Not Japanese and while there are similar dynamics in how western / white perspectives influence it, the dynamics are different and the histories are different; additionally, of a lot of the 'main big' Asian groups, Japanese is honestly the one I've had some of the least engagement with as the places I've lived have been heavily Vietnamese, Thai, Chinese, and Korean; we have a couple Japanese marketplaces near but beyond community, I don't have too much personal insight into the intricracies of Japanese culture and their opinions on these matters, so do understand ANYTHING from this post is coming from a Indo-Chinese perspective and anything I say on this topic, is to be taken second / less than any Japanese person that might want to key in on it as well)

I do have to say - from what I can tell from this ask alone (which is not necessarily a best sample, a lot of judgement of respect is best seen in Action and not words which asks are limited to) - I do have to say I really think you have a good intent and a better understanding / concern to the complexities of things than a lot of people I've seen who "really like Japan and Japanese culture" so in my more optimistic, generally wanting-to-give-best-faith and progressive culture-sharing perspective, I would like to encourage the dream and intent cause I think the vision is really great and amazing honestly.

The issue I have is that the practical application is pragmatically difficult and a bit uneasy because, as much as I think you have a lot of good intent and probably more than the average person, you aren't the first nor last white person who found themselves enamored and emotionally bonded with an Eastern Culture and with a full heart and chest wanted to help preserve and care for the culture. I don't say it in a means to be accusatory or aggressive, but more so a thing to be cautious if you want to try both holding your dreams and joys in the most respectful manner - but the rhetoric does sound a bit white savior / white knight adjacent. That is just to say that it's important to remember that, in the end of the day, Japanese people don't need you (a white person) to advocate for them or to save them and the culture doesn't need you to spread or preserve it for them.

I don't like to say it because I think with a lot of caution, respect, and passion, people who really love something can do a lot of good in the world; but (and I don't know if this is the case or just my past experience with white people who want to help Eastern cultures making be a bit cautious) inherently if there is any part of you that feels as though you will be a hero or leader in any way or form towards the Japanese / Japanese culture, I think one of the first things you'd need to make sure you do is to toss that dream of heroics out and take a massively more "follower" and "aid" mindset out.

In the end of the day, if you want to help any eastern culture be preserved and what not, its important that you - someone who has never been raised or lived the life - are never the end point of people reaching to it; the best place your role would and should be is a means of connection and resource provision, because in the end of the day, you are going to always be a student compared to those that have lived their life in the environment

With that in mind, I am a person who really likes the idea of healthy and productive sharing of cultures and respectful interactions between them and I also know that in some places - which I assume Australia might be as well - there is not as an abundant AAPI populace and probably not much of a pre-existing environment / people to engage with so the complexities of "leave it to the people of the culture" is not entirely practical.

So with all that in mind, first thing I'd say is - as I said above - listen to Japanese voices over mine. I'm speaking largely from theoretics on what I've seen in trends in other eastern cultures and my own experiences as well as being a relatively more idealistic and open perspective.

Second thing, I would see if there is any pre-existing niches where there might be at least an AAPI center around where you live - see if there are any events or classes or something that you may realistically be able to get involved in. If there aren't any of those, consider seeing if there are any direct cultural derivatives from that to participate (as in arts, crafts, hobbies, etc) - cause in my experience, stuff like martial arts are open things to engage in and they can help you connect with people more familiar and more engaged with the genuine culture.

The main reason I say this is because - other than the risk of falling into the white savior complex - one of the largest obstacles to doing this respectfully and healthily is putting time and effort into getting around how white / western culture has already distorted your understanding of Japanese culture in ways you probably don't know about. (And this isn't only you, cause I also am 100% sure I don't see Japanese culture correctly due to white / western influences; I'm not particularly qualified to talk about it as a result; its a very hard and very long journey for any not-Japanese person to do to get as untainted, genuine, and complete understanding of the culture as possible)

One of the best ways to navigate working on that is to find people and environments that are less-tainted by white / western lenses and influences and to take a more student lens and approach to it; very much a "sit and listen and reflect and do your unpacking homework"

If none of those are available or reasonably possible due to disability and/or financial things, I would strongly recommend reaching out to Japanese communities online (reddit probably has a good community) and getting advice from them as they will have more insight and ideas than I could think up.

I will say, they might be a lot more hesitant and wary than I am, cause again - from what I've seen, I think I'm considered pretty idealistic and a bit of a dreamer when it comes to including non-AAPI people in cultures (some are even uncomfortable with married-in-white people getting involved; my bestie is married to a Chinese person and he's been derogatorily and regularly considered a 'gweilo'; ie derogatory term meaning "Westerner" / "white man" / "ghost man") so you will probably face a lot of people nay-saying it, but I would hope maybe someone shares a little of the optimism / appreciation for the vision that I do, even if it's a minority.

That said, I think if you do want to honestly go forward with this and try to do so with the most respect and healthiest lens, I think it is important that you inevitably face the amount of distrust a lot of AAPI have towards white / western involvement in their culture face on and deeply develop a very complex and nuanced understanding to your place and position in the overall roles, history, and participation in it. Cause if you do want to help and do want to be a part of it, it's important to understand where YOUR culture comes into play with all of this. Cause you aren't Japanese and you will never be Japanese, even if you were an expect PhD holding person living in Japan. Inherently you will always be the white person engaging with Japanese culture, and so its important to remember that with you, you bring your own culture into this and that is something that has to be dissected in relationship to it all.

Third, and (less important but relevant) I do not at all mean this to diss on the culture or anything, but a lot of Eastern cultures have something of bad blood towards Japan and I don't honestly know the details enough nor have the energy to Properly Get Into It in a way that won't be misread without nuance by White Piss on the Poor Tumblr, but if you don't know what or why that bad blood exists, it'd be good to try to read into it and look into non-Japanese AAPI voices about it. This isn't to say that "its a bad culture", but more so that if we are talking about seeing the history as a whole, its important to know the impacts Japan and Japanese cultures have had on related cultures which, unfortunately, Japan has been a large part of. (China, Phillipines, Korea, etc)

Overall, it'd probably be an unpopular opinion among other AAPI, but I like the vision and passion you have for it and while I'm a bit hesitant to give support because I know how many people say similar things then fail to do all the work it takes to Do It Right ((ie, I honestly haven't really seen it ever, that said I haven't put the effort into trying to see it happen ever)), if you are willing to do all the tedious and life long homework of understanding your culture, Japanese culture, the ways your and Japanese culture interact to impact your understanding of BOTH cultures, white / western history, white / western history with AAPI cultures and Japan's culture, Japan's history within overall AAPI history, etc and are willing to do your due diligence to network, get involved, and engage with less white-tainted and warped parts of the culture AND navigate a lot of the inherent (fair, earned and justified) distrust to white / western involvement in culture, then I don't think you might have some merit to the dream.

Like it's going to be a LOT of work, a life long thing of work and admittedly, you will likely never be the expert or the advocate or the person you idealistically dream to be and that sounds negative, but in Buddhist philosophy, you are never meant to actually obtain perfection and its considered near impossible to reach "true enlightenment", but we aim for it anyways because the ideal is 1) worth aiming for and 2) we do it because it is good to try and do it anyways as the ideal is not necessary to enjoy the good that genuine and good work towards the ideal.

I guess the last parting thing I'd put out is that a really helpful concept and lens I'd recommend sitting on and thinking about is one of my favorite Buddhist lines of thoughts from Shunryu Suzuki here as it might be helpful in persisting against a lot of the inherent obstacles you will face should you genuinely intend to do it right, cause you are going to probably inherently - due to being white, western and not around any actual japanese culture - "the bad horse".

In general, I think in the end, one of the things that also would be really helpful is that I mention a lot of being a student to the Japanese culture and whether or not you want to take the writing in the Zen Buddhist idea of Zen behavior or just generally keeping a very respectful and chronic student lens to any really insurmountably large and complex topic that you are inherently disadvantaged in (such as learning and respecting a culture that you have no inherent place in), I recommend giving Shunryu Suzuki's book on "The Beginner's Mind" a read / listen.

Overall, that book has helped me so much in both mental health, goal seeking, system management, and overall my perspective on people and culture beyond a simple "buddhist" lens so I really really strongly recommend it.

[thewebcomicsreview]

so what's your take on the recent "stonetoss is a much better comic than haus of decline because it has fewer words" over on twitter?

I really wanted to reply with a snarky dismissive one-liner. I had one written and everything, but then I wanted to make sure I understood the context and looked into this and ugh. Now I have to explain Twitter drama, this sucks.

Okay. Christ.

Haus of Decline makes this comic

The comic pops up again, and a person named Basil sees it and has a take that it has too many words.

As arguably the most prominent Webcomic Critic out there (which is the say, the only one still doing it), I kind of prefer the wordless version as well, but it's a matter of taste, more than an "objectively correct" take.

Basil then follows up on that take with a rather spicier one

It's worth noting here that Basil is saying Hans Kristian Graebener is "better" in the sense that they believe it's more effective propaganda, not in their own personal opinion of quality. And that's....arguable? For one, Haus of Decline isn't really trying to be left-wing propaganda, it's just shitposting, and for two I think Hans Kristian Graebener's effectiveness is way more complicated and sophisticated than just "brevity". And for three, saying Hans Kristian Graebener is "better comics" is really ill-advised, especially given some context I'll reveal shortly.

Haus sees this, calls Basil a moron, and it turns into a dumb stupid internet argument where both people look bad. And being, again, the top Webcomic Critic, I can confirm that sometimes when you call a webcomic bad the creator will get mad at you over it and that's just something you have to expect and live with and try not to beclown yourself in response to. I don't think Basil responded well here, and "just learn to take criticism" is a pretty common and loaded phrase in Webcomics Discourse. Still, whatever. A questionable take led to a short slap fight. That would be the end of it.

Except. The context.

Seven or eight months ago, Basil made this tweet.

Which is a far better tweet, and is now a meme used by liberals in intra-left twitter discord fights to dunk on the anti-voting Trump-curious twitter left. This tweet also came around the time Will Stancil was whipping a lot of normie liberals to push back against the anti-Biden narrative and obviously the election itself has led a notable shift in the vibes where you're seeing a lot more "Biden's not that bad" takes and even a bit of "Actually, Biden is good and I'm tired of pretending he's not" in leftist spaces. And if you follow my personal account you'll know that my vibes have also shifted in that direction a lot. Basil obviously didn't cause the shift, even Stancil didn't, it was the election, but it's their name on the top of the tweet that's used as an anti-anti-voting meme that the left still doesn't has a great response to, so a lot of leftists fucking hate Basil. The kind of passionate hatred you only feel when you're getting clowned on by Matthew fucking Yglesias. So there's a huge hate mob against Basil in the way that hate mobs tend to occur.

This all attracts the attention of Hans Kristian Graebener, who pops out a comic taking a shot at Haus over this. Which is, honestly, a much better example of why Hans Kristian Graebener is effective propaganda than the brevity thing, because god damn did that pour gasoline on the fire, and....well....tldr:

My take is that this whole fight is incredibly stupid, no one involved looks good, and the only one benefiting from it is the literal fucking Nazi.

[bianca-mii]

One of the most iconic kisses between our guitarists from the 2022 tour. I can't write as beautifully as @woodswallow, but I made this gifset as I thought there is a very interesting thing to point out.

The Auslaender outro started almost as usual, with Richard feeling the music probably somewhat more.

But this moment shows one massive difference from arguably every other Auslaender's kiss: Richard is not smiling. He's not focused on seducing Paul with that evil grin. There's no tension, no predatory stare. He is... sad? He looks Paul in the eye, and while Paul is in that playful-teasing-I'm-not-that-easy-to-get mode of his, in which he rather avoids eye contact with Richard, he must realize something is off with the lead guitarist...

But they both go for the kiss. In the beginning, I thought maybe Richard was sad, at least partially, because during some of the 2022 shows Paul seemingly didn't feel like having that little smooch. From what I've read, Paul is very uncomfortable with PDA and, in general, tries to keep his private life as far from the public eye as possible. 2019 kisses were fun and outrageous, which Paul loves, and also had a political impact. But by the half of the 2022 tour, it was obvious nobody cared about any political impact anymore and the guitarists kissed just because they like it. Richard doesn't care if people are watching, he may even like it better that way, so perhaps he couldn't entirely understand Paul's hesitation. Also, on the previous show, still in Europe, their kiss was very quick, too quick for Richard's liking:

He made that gesture with his mouth as if he wanted to say: "Ahh, it ended before I could even taste it!" On which Paul said something, maybe like: "I've told you already: quick pecks - for the audience, the actual kisses - only you and me, no witnesses..." And Richard was like: "Oh, okay, but a boy can dream, can't he?"

Going back to Chicago's kiss: so it's not the case that Richard is sad because he thinks Paul wants no public kisses: they go for it as usual. I also don't think he's sad because he'd prefer the kiss to be longer - that doesn't sound like an actual reason to feel sad. It has to be something else.

Whatever it is, Richard tries to pull away first as he probably thinks the kiss will be over by that time anyway. Indeed, it's usually been (if not any other time) Paul who pulls away first; I also think Richard's hand on the back of Paul's neck used to be there for that extra control, to keep him in place just a little bit longer, but it wasn't hugely sufficient. This time though, again, Richard thinks the kiss will be over just after a moment. But what happens next? Especially from this angle, it seems very clear: Paul doesn't let go. And his reaction is really intense: he keeps his lips locked with Richard's, his right hand, put on Richard's shoulder, grabs it more firmly; you can see all his body leaning on his partner; if you look at his butt, it slightly goes up as he maybe even gets on tiptoe.

I remember reading suggestions Richard was that surprised because maybe Paul slipped him some tongue. I'd love to think that, but what I believe really happened was that Paul sucked hard on Richard's lip to keep their mouths together as Richard tried to pull away.

This is not the best quality, but it sort of confirms that theory: you can briefly see Richard's mouth, and then how it literally gets sucked:)

Paul pulls away when it's over but also slightly pushes Richard: "now, that should do!", but Richard, despite experiencing a massive WTF?! moment, remains sober enough to put some pressure on Paul's nape, doesn't let him go, and pulls him back close again, for a hug. He also starts to laugh so heartily that it makes my heart melt. Perhaps he's realized what face he's just made and laughs, just a little bit, at himself too. Paul, on the other hand, briefly returns the hug, but then is all like: "there, there, don't overdo it, babe." He gives Richard a few pats on the back, like the male friends with no benefits would do - he is back into his no PDA mode, and puts his right hand back on Richard's shoulder, this time trying to push him away.

But now Richard does not have it: "nah love, not so fast, you should have expected now I need to thank you for what you've just done... *mwah*". Another kiss on the lips, brief one this time, and finally Paul can go, obviously showing to everybody: "look! Just look at this little naughty thing right there!", Richard is doing something similar for a moment, too (what a complete pair of dorks:D).

So, I imagine Richard was so surprised because Paul not only didn't want to end the kiss quickly but literally forced it to be longer. I love this moment so much for two reasons: it totally makes sense Paul is uncomfortable with PDA, but as soon as Richard feels worse, or Paul gets sentimental himself (like by the end of tours), Paul stops thinking about any discomfort and goes for it with no hesitation, which pretty much says that comforting Richard is simply much more important for him. I think we saw it here, we saw it during Puppe 2023 or this tour after the German football team lost.

What I also more than love, is how Paul's little mouth-to-mouth treatment really brings Richard back to life and turns the night into the day for him (no wonder, who wouldn't be more than alive if they just got a kiss from Landers himself?). Richard is over the moon here, and seeing him undergo such a 180-degree mood switch is an almost otherwordly experience...

Here's the whole video cropped by me, original credit to till_lindemann_pics on ig. One of the other gifs by @davecumstaine, the other one - I can't tell, I downloaded it a long time ago and can't find it here anymore, many apologies;(

[plusvanity]

Some silly little HCS for my fics:

NPD x NPD

-you might think this is the worst combo imaginable and you're damn right, except that they actually make it work because Abbath is overt while Varg is (for the most of the time) covert

-they're practicing mirroring and enabling one another to do stupid and impulsive shit, so they only get worse

-cocky bastards, inflated sense of self, grandiosity and all that jazz that basically hides raging insecurities. One wants to live it up like Lemmy Kilmister while the other is dreaming of being a dictator

-the empty schizoid core dilemma: Abbath is a fucking alcoholic because he cannot stand his own emptiness on a sober and lucid mind. Varg is arguably better because he wants to remain sober and as sharp as possible because he knows that when he drinks a little whisky he's the bottom of Abbath's jokes

-the Dead Mother concept

-Varg inevitably becomes overt because his false ego grows like a tumor on Abbath and it makes things harder for both of them

-narcissistic rage and pity parties

-they never actually give one another narcissistic supply because Varg is too fucking proud to admit he likes taking it up the ass while Abbath doesn't know how to talk with mean girls (especially those who piss while standing, have scars on their faces and like setting shit on fire)

-pyromaniacs, thought it was worth mentioning

-friends with benefits is just an excuse for being deprived together

-Abbath actually makes the fatal mistake to fall in love with Varg and he's massively disappointed when he sees Varg growing a beard instead of tits but he's sad and lonely anyway so he'll take whatever he gets. He's no high maintenance

-Varg is an asshole and breaks Abbath's heart as if it wasn't enough that Abbath breaks his liver every night in Apollon

-neither one is optimistic about the future and that's for a good reason

NPD x ASP

-you would assume that this isn't healthy because Varg can do the automatic bitch move of 'swallowing' Pelle's personality whole but he doesn't. He behaves exemplarily because he's desperate to find someone to love him despite being a sore loser

-the shared fantasy: they both live like elves in Tolkien's little fairytale (although Pelle lives like a strigoi in Transylvania) because real life just sucks and because they're both so deeply misunderstood

-both are very bad at communication, especially Pelle, but Varg is naturally quite observant and tries to find out what's bothering his lover. When Varg is silent, it is mostly because he's either entirely collapsed (narcissistic collapse) or his ego is injured. Pelle usually gives him space, but if Varg doesn't get better in a few days, he'll eventually try to talk with him, which is very tricky because Pelle doesn't speak Norwegian

-nerdy sleepovers braiding their hair together and watching Pelle Svanslös (the 1981 version)

-both are big introverts, but the difference between them is that Pelle is asocial while Varg is prosocial (he still needs narcissistic supply even if he prefers solitude instead of human interaction. It's quite complex and disappointing)

-they both read one another like open books because they have seen everything the other can offer (the good, the ugly and that weird thing in between)

-Pelle's emptiness and ego-death is different from Varg's narcissistic emptiness, but they find comfort in one another no matter what. The most powerful thing that Pelle told Varg was 'if you don't have any sense of self and you are just a mirror that can reflect anything, why not try to reflect me instead of the anger of your parents?' because in this way, Pelle gave Varg a chance to be a better, less hateful and less vindictive version of himself. Of course Varg is still struggling and probably always will

-they desperately need love and they're emotionally depended on one another. Once Pelle cracked Varg's defense mechanisms and vice-versa there was no turning back, they had to be the other's salvation

- trust issues rule over them. Very careful with people around them, they're both paranoid and highly protective with each other

-Varg doesn't look for narcissistic supply in Pelle because he doesn't want to take all of Pelle's energy. It's a boundary that he has for himself in order not to ruin their relationship, so he uses fanboys like Fenriz to tell him how great he is and all this nonsense

-they do love each other deeply. Even if they never experienced true love before, they know that their feelings are true and it's the only thing that makes life bearable

NPD x ASPD

-this is where all the scary shit begins

-every failed psychopath is a narcissist (this should tell you a lot about narcissistic rage because they can't be anything but angry losers)

-partners in crime (or rather Varg is Faust's little chewing toy)

-what happens when you take the ego and the super-ego of an individual? You're right. All you're left with is great, kinky sex. (Freud would've laughed. It's a good joke, actually)

-Faust can and will make Varg worse. It's a matter of time until he breaks Varg's core

-church burnings, vandalism, robbery, murder, gay sex, cannibalism and whatever else you would expect from two mentally deranged, ego-dystonic young and highly hormonal bastards

-Faust's chronic and incurable boredom is just what makes him get an interest in Vikernes in the first place. What they have is not a relationship to him, but an opportunity to have fun

-manipulation, gaslighting, abuse, etc. It's basically a Killing Stalking situation but Varg isn't going down without a fight or a good fuck

-drunk non-consensual coitus

-one of the dirtiest moves Faust does on Varg is shaving his head of after a nasty fight, so he strips him of all of his integrity and dignity to show him who's the boss (for a bit of context: it's Varg's fault that he tried to run off with their stolen money)

-they do a lot of crazy shit but get rid of the evidence. They firmly believe the police are dumb enough not to get them

-the empty schizoid core x2 again, although one of them is even worse

-Faust is able to get Vikernes through the full cycle of narcissistic emotional outbursts from total collapse to needy borderline to secondary sociopathy while Varg is only able to get Faust pissed

-buried past, non existent future, just live in the moment. Carpe diem, brothers ✌✌✌

-the lone wolf and the hungry tiger archetypes. The consumption is visceral and that's all I have to say

[joyboyish]

okok i saw someone talk about how they dont like zolu (which if u dont idc) but it came down to a mass mischaracterization of zoro, luffy, and sanji so i wanted to talk about it

note that the person i saw was a zosan shipper but im not at all saying zolu is better than zosan or that zosan sucks (also sorry if this comes off rude im autistic LOL)

"zolu doesnt work because luffy is aro ace!"

im aspec, but you guys need to realize asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. for example: someone whos demisexual would only have romantic/sexual feelings if they already have a close bond with that person. using luffys aromanticism as an excuse to why zolu doesnt work is. weird. aspec people already dont get a lot of rep, but boiling it down to one definition isnt what we are

"if you ship zolu its because of the one piece live action! they straight washed sanji!"

ok this one kind of pissed me off bc😭..... none of the strawhats are canonically queer. you can def hc someone as gay, bi, lesbian, etc. but until oda says something is canon it isnt. for example, i hc zoro as gay and sanji as bi! but neither of these are canon. sanji wasnt straight washed, his characterization is very similar to the animanga, same as the other characters. the only real difference is they toned down a lot of things they werent able to do bc its not animation

"it feels cishet female gaze-y!"

zolu, arguably, has one of the most complex dynamics in the show. zoro has completely dedicated himself to luffy and luffy has pushed him to accomplish his dream. zoro sacrificed himself in thriller bark, giving up his dream, and promise to kuina, and nearly died in the process. zoros unwavering loyalty in luffy and luffys unwavering trust in zoro is part of the main appeal. im not a cishet female, so its probably why most of this got me upset, but i myself hc them both as aspec, and that they arent very sexual people. i wouldnt necessarily call either "female gaze-y" since the male gaze is a product of the patriarchy and the female gaze is more in a "how does this man treat a woman" way but yeah.

if u disagree w me thats ok! u can block me or send me an ask explaining why u prefer zoro and sanjis dynamic! its just not for me! i just think throwing around baseless accusations like straight washing or fetishization is weird

ok bye sorry

[nartml]

Should Oikawa have gone to Shiratorizawa?

It's a well known fact that Oikawa, soon after graduation, left off to join the Argentinian Volleyball League.

Now, Oikawa was never able to beat Ushijima, which probably played a bigger role in his decision to immigrate to the other side of the world than you might think.

He was never able to go to Nationals and leave Miyagi, therefore never made his brilliance as a player known, and consequently was overshadowed by the other two 'genius' setters, Kageyama and Atsumu.

Something that would've been a huge hindrance to his career if he were to stay in Japan.

His reputation, or lack thereof, might have actually held him down for years, especially when there were two other setters who were arguably even better than him and already established their presence in the big leagues.

Ushijima knew this, and was certain that Seijoh was dragging Oikawa down, which is why he was so confident that Oikawa shot himself in the foot when he refused to go to Shiratorizawa.

Had he chosen otherwise, he would've gone to Nationals, where he'd also have his debut in the big leagues.

Scouts would undoubtedly take notice of this other brilliant setter who played everyone on both sides of the net like a fiddle—

Wait. What?

Would they have taken notice? Would there be something to take notice of?

Since when did Shiratorizawa rely on gimmicks, tricky strategies, and versatile attacks? Since when was there room for mind games?

Since when did coach Washijo allow anyone other than Ushijima to take the lead?

Didn't Semi get benched because he didn't prioritize Ushijima? Didn't he take the boot for not sucking up to him?

Oikawa shines, but that's only when he's actually allowed to do his thing.

His playing style is the exact opposite of what Shiratorizawa wants.

It was kind of stated by coach Ukai too.

"If Aoba Johsai is the most complete team in the prefecture, then Shiratorizawa is the most incomplete."

Shiratorizawa's playing style centers around individual strengths, raw power, and Ushijima.

Oikawa prefers a united front, plays connecting with one another, making room for proper adjustments and adaptation. He's down for the occasional mind game too.

But most of all, he prefers to take the damn lead.

Yes, cohesion is imperative for his playing style, but that's also the case for many of the strong teams we see in the show.

The difference is, Oikawa is clearly the one in the driving seat. We see it most of all in their team huddles.

Oikawa flawlessly communicates with his team, knows where, who, when, and how much to push, and while everyone participates in the discussions, he's clearly the leader.

He does the thinking, the planning, the strategizing. He keeps track of everyone on both teams.

He reminds me a bit of Kenma in that regard.

But apart from being the brain, he also has the athletic prowess, the technical skills, the passion, the people skills, and it's safe to assume, countless more hours of practice too.

Seijoh's coaches know that, and have let him cultivate all those skills through the years.

By contrast, we see coach Washijo usually butt in during the time-outs, and insist that his players just hold proper form to put in even more power, to be more dynamic on account of their physical stature.

Imagine how little of a say Oikawa would have, especially if he attended Shiratorizawa from the get-go.

The only first year we actually know is Goshiki. The rest are near entirely unknown.

I highly doubt he'd be half as devious a player as he is, had he had Washijo for a coach.

The chances that old guy would let him do even a fraction of his thing are next to zero.

At the end of the day, Oikawa is tricky, and Shiratorizawa just isn't.

So then, did Seijoh hold him back? I'm not sure.

We're not gonna talk about year-long friendships, bonds, and good chemistry, which were undoubtedly huge factors, both in his decision to attend Seijoh, and in everyone trusting him to do his stuff.

Let's just take a quick look at their capabilities as a bunch.

Objectively, they're strong. Skilled. But not strong enough, and not skilled enough either.

I mean, look at that first practice match. They didn't have Oikawa, and Karasuno, which kinda sucked at the time, beat them in straight sets.

Yes, it was a practice match. Yes, they got stronger later on.

But that loss highlighted, more than anything, just how much of an effect Oikawa had as the leader, and how much he elevated his teammates.

Without him, they would've been a lot weaker.

And that might just be exactly why Oikawa shone the way he did.

His judgement was trusted, and he learned how to take advantage of everyone's abilities and maximize them.

No, I'm not sure if Seijoh actually held him back, or if he partially owes his polished brilliance to them. Could be a bit of both.

I am sure, however, that Shiratorizawa would've actually done a hell of a lot more damage than Seijoh ever did.

[justyouraverageficwriter]

Watch Me, Want Me

Yeji x M reader

Genre: Smut, Handjob, Self-gratification

WC: 3111 Words

A/N: I thought this will be another BFH fic but the idea evolved it something different. This may be the end of my break too. Enjoy!

You feel it again,-the same way you felt it countless times before. The air conditioning is fully working, well maybe less effective as you left the door ajar; but still the cold air circulates just fine. But you feel hot, and something down there starts to give you discomfort. It’s becoming a routine now, call it a vice even as it starts to become addicting. It’s the wee hours and the place is silently still, except for the music occasionally playing out of your phone set two clicks up from being completely muted; and the ever loud ticking of the mechanical clock someone gifted to you for your birthday.

She’s just mesmerizing, the way she moves her body. The complete control, the sharp movements in contrast with the elegant rolls, her expression as she performs even in the smallest of stages. She's born to sing and dance, to perform, to entertain. She's an idol, an ace, and she absolutely makes sure your eyes won't leave her once you notice her; a task she does so easily and quite possibly really naturally.

You adjust yourself in a more comfortable position, an indication that you’re sucked into the content you are consuming. Is it the way she sways her hips? Is it the outfit she wears? Is it the belly button beautifully drawn in the middle of her perfectly toned midriff? Or is it the eyes? Yes, perhaps it’s her eyes - ever captivating, quite the charmer.

She is your favorite, and maybe always will be. She stood out to you the most, appealing to your highly set standards. Not that her four sister-members don’t meet the criteria, they all give Venus a run for her money themselves -yet it’s her that your eyes are glued into, it’s her that makes your mouth drool. You are hooked, like a fish at the end of the anglers line, hopeless despite the struggle (although it looks like you already gave up the fight before it even started.) And then you landed on it, on arguably your favorite photo of her - well it’s really hard to say for a fact that it is since you always said that to every single one saved on your phone’s gallery. But the world can forgive you, she is just irresistible. 

“Ah fuck it! You are making me do this again, Yeji.” Words that mean you succumb again. The uncomfortable feeling is now getting really hard to ignore. You got it, an itch that needs more than just scratching; in fact it needs rubbing, or preferably stroking. There she is, looking straight at you on the other side of the screen, as if she’s begging you to do it, urging you to give in to the desire. All the while those eyes are silently judging, fixed on you until the oblivion, to the point that you could almost hear her call you pathetic for being so easy to seduce, for being such a softie, when in fact you are hard; literally hard for that sinful red top and that chain around her little waist.

Guess it's obvious now, the thing that you are currently doing. Self gratification, a fancy name for a sinful deed, maybe indulgence is a better word but you digress. There's a certain level of satisfaction when you freed your aching shaft from the confines of your underwear, and a moan to boot when you finally wrapped your hand around it. You know you're not the only one doing this, you're sure that someone somewhere on the planet is doing the same thing as you, at the same time as you, and probably on the same Yeji pictures and video clips you have. On that thought, you think that it's a race but the catch is the one who reaches the finish line last wins.

"Damn Yeji. You're so sexy, baby." You talk to her like she can hear you, and perhaps in your imagination she really can; even the sky is not the limit in the world that is on your head, especially if it’s filled with lust. “You know I would do things to that navel of yours.” The strokes start to become uneven, your breaths ragged and short, as if the air you release are immediately sucked back into your lungs. In your mind you are pleasing her, as much as she is pleasing you right now, or maybe even more. Legs spreading apart further and further as you slowly slip into the highs of fap (weirdly enough in the boner fueled mind of yours slip and high make so much sense). Eyes closed and mouth open to anticipate the resolution, the end, the climax.

“Hey, is that me?” An unexpected voice is heard, coming out of the left field. Yet it is familiar, and not to mention sexy as fuck. There is a hint of tease in her tone, her usual chaff and banter; she got all the reason to poke fun at you for she caught you red handed, with hands on your throbbing prick.

“What are you doing here?” Confused, and your eyes are still adjusting to the sudden flooding of light to your senses. You sound so confident, as if the whole scene is a normal thing. Although, you ponder that there’s nothing to be worried about, it’s not like you are jerking off to someone else.

“I’m your girlfriend, mister. I have every right to be at your apartment.” Yeji waltz inside your room like it’s hers, and maybe it is now given how familiar and at home she is navigating the space. She did not address the current state of affairs, aside from the question that she threw in your lap that is. Yeji peels off her shirt, and then her pants leaving her in her sports underwear. Of course it’s not new to you, you have spent so many sexy nights together. Although you’d be lying if you say that her body did not have any effect on you just because you have seen it countless times before, she can make you really naughty with just her photo; what more if you can see her in the flesh.

“You haven’t answered my question yet, babe.” She takes her place next to you, sliding in the bed naturally as you scoot over. Yeji lies on her side, purposely flexing her mouth watering body, all toned without any trace of fat; not that you will complain if there is, she'll be perfect just the same. She looks amused, although you are quite sure that she is, looking at you with her cat eyes. That's what everyone is calling it, but you beg to differ, you just want to call her Yeji's eyes for you haven’t seen anything the same, yeah it's boring and quite special at the same time.

She reaches out for your phone, in her quest to know the answer of her inquiry, she didn't even bother to wait for your reply. You can't blame her though, you have failed to answer the first time it was asked. The phone has been set to sleep now and was locked but that's really not a problem, what did you really expect, she's your girlfriend. Yeji's lips curl into a smile as your phone resumes to the things you are watching. She rolls her eyes and passes the phone back to your hands acting all unimpressed. "Oh would you look at that, resort to fapping because his girl has a concert, huh?"

"Do you prefer that I fap to someone else?" Your relationship is a constant battle of wits and control, both of you like to banter and tease each other out.

Yeji moves closer, until you can feel her breath on your ears. The hot air from her mouth in contrast to the cold air of the room gives you a tingling sensation across your whole body. For sure, she's doing it on purpose. "I don't think you want to, you're a little obsessed over me."

"Confident, are we?" You love the confidence in her voice, the fact notwithstanding is that she is wrong, that you also do it to the members of her senior group; but it's a secret you intend to keep for yourself, since you do it all in good fun.

Yeji suddenly nuzzles the side of your neck. "Mhmm, especially when I'm doing this." Her hands found her way to the base of your dick, still hard and growing harder. You bet it's smoldering to the touch, as the temperature rises again inside you. You let out a much louder moan than the one you had earlier; maybe because someone is doing it for you, and not just someone, it's the woman you’ve been lusting ever since you’ve laid eyes upon her. She’s a natural with her ways with you, gentle hands but firm grip, and the sultry voice, damn her sultry voice -you don’t know how many times you got a hard on because of it when you’re flirting right when you wake up next to her. Yeji pushes you to lean on your side, and she quickly presses her body on your back, hooking her chin on your exposed shoulder.

“It feels so good, babe.” Both of you have never been shy to let each other know what you feel, a little dirty talk gets off you and Yeji so much that it leads to the sexiest moments most of the time.

“I know! You are so hard.” She whispers in your ear seductively, all the while her tongue naughtily nibbles on your ear and shoulders, adding to things that make you sensitive. She strokes twice at every tick of the clock, -the backstory of why she bought it for you. Yeji loves the rhythm of things, maybe it’s second nature to her being in the music industry. And all that translates to the sexual things you do, and having a loud clock helps a lot; at the expense of your sleep that is(however you have grown accustomed to it now). 

“What are you doing? Do you not want to look at my photos, babe?” It’s not the first time she’s jerking you off, but it will be the first time that she will while you look at her videos and images. And fuck that’s an idea you find really hot, an idea you would not want to say no. You produce your phone quickly again and start to scroll to the sexiest ones you have. It’s getting hard to focus though, you just want to close your eyes and feel her hands pumping you.

"Fuck Yeji, you're gonna make me cum." With that warning,Yeji rubs the tip of your cock and spreads the pre cum all over. There's a jolt of pleasure that makes your body shiver. You can hear her smirk at your back. Of course you stoke the fire, you're showing weakness to her touches; and of course she feeds off of it.

"I really love it when you are so horny for me, so weak and fragile, so opposite from the normal you. I love it when you lose control." Every single word from her pretty naughty mouth is like fuel to the flames of lust. Thankfully or perhaps cruelly, she slows down her pace and allows you to relax.

She clears her throat, possibly because she wants your attention. There's no need to though to be completely honest, she has all the attention you can possibly give; although mostly to what her hands are doing. "Show me your favorite photo to jerk off on, babe." In an instant you show her the picture that made you start the risqué act, it is a full circle moment. "Can't blame you, I look so hot in that." You can clearly see her smirk, like you have eyes on the back of your head.

Ever the competitive, you want to get back on her, you want to put cracks on her ever growing ego. "Don't get too full of yourself now. It would be a hard fall once I get my hands on you." In that very moment the last word is uttered, she increases the speed of her strokes causing you to squirm, to let out an uncontrolled mewl. "I don't think so babe, not when you're on the tip of my fingers." Her play of words amused you, you can interpret them literally or not, she's so damn right.

"Now tell me, how did you fantasize about your girlfriend earlier?" It's another blow to your ego, she's on a streak. She keeps on putting points on the board. She doesn't just want to know what photo that turned you on, she also wants to know how you imagined her, how improper you are. In simple terms she wants you to put into words the naughty thoughts you had, she wants you to admit that you are really obsessed, and not a little less. And maybe it's clear now that you are, more than you want to confess.

"I want to make out with you, and put my hands all over you. Then I'll unzip your top, and suck on your tits." It's expected really that you will indulge her request, it's another idea of hers that's too hot to not make true. “Then I’ll pin you on that wall babe, and take off those jeans.” She hums in acknowledgement of your words as she carries on with the handjob, ever masterful.

“You said you’d do something to my belly button.” Ah yes her belly button, wait what? -  there is some sort of delay before your mind processes what’s wrong with it. It is another revelation, it now dawns on you that she has been watching you right when you started. “So you just stood there and watched, huh?” You noticed her head moves in confirmation. “You know what, I thought of just standing there until you’re finished but.” She pauses to climb on top of you, Yeji is now stradling on you lap.

“But?” You press the matter.

“But what you are doing is so hot, that I just could not be a bystander, can I?” She adjusts herself again to give way for her panties to come off, but immediately seals the separation to get back to her position. She's so wet down below, but you're not surprised. The slick juices now smear your crotch as well, as the contact starts to grow bigger and bigger. Yeji starts to move her hips and grind, you are reminded once again what a performer she is, on the stage and on the bed. You trace her tummy, one of the best in the business and draw circles around her belly button. This is your way of showing your appreciation to what she is doing, and in a way teasing her, to encourage her to do more. You know you’re doing the right thing because you are achieving the desired results.

Your hands naturally found home on her waist, guiding her as she rubs your length. “You know it will be much better inside right?” It looks like you had enough teasing. You are not alone in that sentiment, as Yeji shifts to line herself to your dick; it just feels so easy, feels just so right. Both of you exhale two satisfied moans, two different tones but blend really well, it sounded like one. You find her eyes as she found yours, satisfied yet still hungry, there’s a mutual understanding and respect but lust and wanting at the same time. “You are right, feel so much better.” Her smile should have been a wholesome break from the haze of erotic air, but you know it means so much more.

Built in her is a body of rhythm, and once again the movement of her hips match the ticking of the loud clock. It is once every second from the start, then as the pleasure intensifies so does the pace. ���Fuck! It’s so good, Yeji.” She is doing everything right, and all you can do is brace yourself for the inevitable. You want her gaze only fixed on you all the time, but you can’t blame her for closing them once in a while, heck- you too can’t even do that because you know you’ll go overflowing already if you are constantly peering into the lust inducing eyes, beautiful, deep, unique and damn sexy.

It did not take long for that rhythm to get all messy, as all things eventually do in the middle of desires and the craving for more. “I want you to cum inside me.” The line surprises you, she’s an idol after all and should be careful, but the resolve in her tone is unmistakable, undeniable even. It sounds like you have a hefty price to pay if you dare to disobey. “I’d be glad to, babe.”

“Cum for me in five.” That sounds like a challenge, you just hope she means seconds, because it’s an impossible ask if it is a different unit of time. Hell, you think even that mere 5 seconds feels like eternity because of how close you are.

“Five..”

Yeji is just grinding non stop, it’s a performance and she’s giving it her all; she is an amazing artist.

“Four..”

The clock moves so slowly, you think time slows down. The contrast of how fast she is fucking you to the slow tick of a second is starting to not make any sense.

“Three..”

Her walls are closing in on you, it starts to tighten around you, choking your hard shaft.

“Two..”

Just a second more and your sweaty bodies will be rewarded, you pull the straps of her sports bra off her shoulders, amazingly it’s still on. Everything about her is so perfect, and on the verge of orgasm, it multiplies tenfold, maybe a hundred.

“One.”

Maybe you came half a second earlier but who the fuck really cares as the ropes of semen pump out into her warm, wanting cunt. The chorus of very triumphant moans echoed and filled the once still and quiet place. You have reached the pinnacle, the point of no return as you fill her walls of stacked cum. She pulls out and all the mixed juices leak once it finds a gap. However, the mess doesn’t matter for now. Yeji immediately finds her way in your embrace as both of you enjoy a deep kiss. Cheekily you grope her ass in the middle of the smooches, innocent, or is it? “Sleep now horny man, we already took care of your horny bone.”

[deadbydangit]

Can you do one of The Doctor, The Clown and The Knight comforting you through an anxiety attack? Been struggling with PTSD a lot lately

I'm so sorry to hear that. I've been going through some lately as well. I hope this helps. Please enjoy.

Comforting a Reader who is having a panic attack: Clown, Doctor, Knight

Clown

At first he'll be a little annoyed.

"What are you belly aching about?"

"What? You aren't dying.*

He doesn't really understand the concept of a panic attack.

The whole concept of mental health is something that's foreign to him.

The way he grew up it was something that was never discussed.

Even though it was something that really should have been.

So you'll have to explain what is happening and why.

He'll still be a little confused, but he'll listen.

He isn't too great at calming people down.

He's the one who spreads the fear, not lessens it.

But, Kenneth is a clown!

Sort of.

Well, not a good one, but he tries.

And laughter is the best medicine, right?

So, he'll pull out his bag of tricks to make you laugh.

He isn't funny.

His balloon animals suck.

And all of his magic tricks involved severed fingers.

Not exactly great things for calming down a panic attack.

You'll have to teach him the things that work for you.

Because despite his rough exterior, he really hates seeing you like that.

And, not being able to do anything for you, it hurts him even more.

So, give the guy a break. He's really trying his best.

And it's only something he would do for you.

Doctor

Herman is very observant.

He knows instantly when you're acting differently.

He may be a quack, but he's a brilliant man.

Not only does he know a lot about the human body, he knows a lot about the human mind.

So, yes, he knows exactly what's going on.

He'll rattle off the exact scientific and psychological reason for a panic attack.

While you're in the middle of one.

That isn't helping.

But he's not too great at caring for others.

Sure, he might know some techniques to help with a panic attack.

But he's never helped someone through their panic attacks before.

He's another one you'll have to sit down and explain how to help.

However, as stated before, Herman is a smart man.

He learns things quickly.

Everything you tell him he'll take down detailed notes.

He wants to know what makes you tick. What makes you anxious.

All of this so he knows what to avoid in the future. And what to do if this should arise again.

He'll set up an entire room full of comfort objects for you while you're having a panic attack.

And he'll be there the entire time.

If you want him gone, he'll respect that.

But he does have hidden cameras in that room to monitor you.

It's for your safety. Nothing weird about it.

He's usually in the business of harming others.

Only for you will he be caring.

Knight

Out of all three, Tarhos ia arguably the worst.

That isn't to say that he doesn't love you.

He truly does.

He too has dealt with immense trauma.

However, he's dealt with it differently.

So he doesn't understand why you're panicking over something.

At first, he might even tell you to knock it off.

"Why are you acting like a pathetic child?"

It's going to take several other people to knock some sense into him.

He doesn't really understand that not everyone deals with things like he does.

With swords and violence.

Some people prefer to talk about their feelings.

Tarhos is not one of them.

However, only for you, he'd be willing to learn.

He's also really bad about comforting others.

If you're feeling really bad, he might pat your head.

Maybe even give you a small hug.

But that's probably all you're going to get for now.

He is, however, very good at listening.

Occasionally, he'll give decent advice.

It really depends on the subject.

"So there is a person causing your anguish? I see. I will help you get rid of the nuisance. They will no longer cause you issues."

Most of the time, the solutions to his problems include violence.

It's going to take him some time to warm up to the whole affection and comforting thing.

But, he wouldn't do it for anyone else. Only you, because you mean that much to him.

[brain-rot-central]

NSFW Alphabet

Thank you for the tag, @kittenintheden! This will be in reference to Tavaria and Astarion's relationship, heh.

Tagging anyone who would like to do it!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

They both take a moment to catch their breath and let the world return to normal around them. They're usually clinging pretty tightly to one another.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Astarion adores her freckles. He loves to trace them up to his second favorite place: her neck.

Tav loves his face. She's never seen a more handsome man in all of her life, though she doesn't remember much from before the Nautiloid. It's a sin he can't see himself in a mirror (before the ascension), but maybe even a blessing. He'd be entirely insufferable, should he actually know how charming he is. She loves playing with his ears as well, and the resulting twitch of his entire body when she does.

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

Astarion's favorite place is inside, which works out great, because Tav loves to cum on his cock. c:

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Tav once cut down an entire row of goblins with such precise skill as they were escaping their encampment. Astarion was left speechless, and oddly aroused. From that moment forward, he realized that he really loves when she's violent.

Tav has a thing for watching the light fade from the eyes of Astarion's victims. There's something oddly erotic about it, how he holds them close against his chest. Almost like that of a lover, only to watch them slump lifelessly to the floor once he's done. She loves the rosy pink glow that spreads from his cheeks to the tips of his ears even more.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Astarion is arguably more experienced than most. Tav's first, from what she can recall, was Astarion. So, not much. Though, she's a quick study.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Astarion loooves missionary. Loves to be able to see Tav's face and have access to her neck. He tends to bite down on the soft column of her throat right as he cums.

She'll never admit it, but Tav really enjoys being taken from behind. The vulnerability is thrilling to her, as she doesn't readily give up her back to most. It's an immense sign of trust, for her.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Astarion enjoys smoothing rough situations out with a bit of sarcastic humor, while Tav is mostly stone-cold serious. It's not up until she rejects the will of her Father that she begins to come out of her shell, and that's mostly attributed to the murderous urges ceasing all together.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Since Astarion is a full-blooded high-elf, he's entirely hairless, save for hair on his head and eyebrows. Tav keeps herself relatively neat, though there are times where she lets her body hair grow out. They are trying to save the world, after all. Astarion doesn't seem to mind much.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Astarion is admittedly more forward than Tav. Their first time together was out of pure curiosity for her -- she had her suspicions about him being a vampire, which were confirmed once she saw his teeth poking over his bottom lip. She should have been afraid, sharing a camp with a blood-sucking fiend who could kill them at any time. Though, all she could think about was how this could work to everyone's advantage. A handsome vampire with a silver tongue? Perfect for manipulating and taking out potential targets.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

It's not often that Tav takes care of herself in that manner. She's usually fighting off the urges to slit the necks of those who bring her even the slightest of annoyance. Though if she has a drink or two in her, it's enough to dull the voices in her head so she can hear her body.

Astarion avoids intimacy with himself almost entirely. Though, there's one night in particular when he couldn't avoid it anymore, and sent a few pulses of pleasure through his tadpole connection to Tav. She didn't respond, but he felt better having made her aware of how he was feeling. They kissed the following morning, her asking him how it went.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Tav has an incredibly strong breeding kink. She's not sure if it's because of Bhaal's influence telling her to produce more Bhaalspawn, but it ramps up in intensity the longer she's near Astarion. It doesn't make sense, given he's an infertile vampire spawn, but the urge to create a half-vampire Bhaalspawn is strong. Again, likely due to Bhaal's influence and how powerful their offspring would be.

As time goes on, Astarion realizes he enjoys being teased. A lot. A suggestive glance or two. Tav rubbing her body against him as she passes, feigning "not enough room." It all serves to heighten his interest.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Secluded from the others. Neither of them enjoy an audience unless it's previously agreed upon. Doesn't really matter to them where or when.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Astarion is usually most willing right after he feeds, especially if it's from her. The haze of her bloodloss usually makes sex more enjoyable for her, because again, it helps quell the dark urges.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Tav does not enjoy anything that could be seen as too controlling. No spanking, slapping, being spit on, manhandled too roughly, being tied up, or things stuffed into her mouth -- whether they're fingers or makeshift gags. It triggers a fight response in her, and she's entirely sure Astarion wouldn't appreciate having his throat cut during intimacy. But she learns over time that she enjoys Astarion grabbing her ass while taking her from behind, giving it a few light smacks.

Astarion dislikes being controlled, as well. At first, any touches to his neck would incite instant panic. Being held down, turning onto his stomach, and pulling his hair too tightly would transport him back to the kennels with Godey hovering above him. But as time goes on, he softens to the idea of Tav lightly holding his neck as she rides him, because the pressure against his throat never increases. He never feels starved for air (even though he doesn't need to breathe), and he eventually becomes bold enough to encourage her to tighten her grip around his neck.

They each develop enough trust along the way that some of their no's turn into a conditional yes, so long as the boundaries are agreed upon.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Astarion is incredibly enthusiastic about eating pussy. Tav is a bit more hesitant to giving oral, only because she fears the sudden urge to dismember him will creep forward. They both enjoy receiving, however.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Both of them hate to admit this, but they're absolute sguckers for passionate, slow sex. Taking their time to let their bodies do the talking. But they occasionally have the urge to be rough and fast, and that usually ends up being more about a quick release of some sort as opposed to penetration of any kind.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

They're not opposed to it, but again, they prefer the whole set up.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Both are extremely hesitant to taking risks at first. They barely even speak about hooking up for days after it first happens. But the second time it happens is more spontaneous. Stolen glances from across camp and a short conversation leads them back to his tent once the last head falls soundlessly upon a pillow. They've never had an opportunity to discuss experimentation, even at this point within Sonnet. If the moment feels right, they both go for it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Spontaneity is their deciding factor. They're usually a one-and-done sort of couple, but there's an immense amount of build up from start to finish.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Neither is against toys but they haven't introduced that into the dynamic. Yet.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Tav plays hard to get, Astarion having to break down her defenses. He doesn't mind, though. He looks at it as if it's a hunt, and he's hardly one to back down from a challenge. Still, she can't help but tease him, if only to watch the way his ears twitch when she says certain words or uses a particular tone of voice. He makes sure to give it to her in earnest later.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Astarion is the more vocal one. He's usually groaning within every sentence he speaks and is more forthcoming with expressing lust. Tav tries her best to muffle her moans within his shoulder or by biting her lip, if she can.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Once they've caught their breath, Astarion thoroughly enjoys carrying Tav into the wash room and putting her in a hot bath. While they were still traveling, Astarion would be the one grabbing her hand and leading her down to a water source of some kind to freshen up. He continued that tradition during his nightly visits post-ascension.

Astarion has his piece of the contract etched into his back. Tav has a small circular birthmark on her right areola.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Astarion's is higher, especially when they were traveling. It's true after a time he asks for physical intimacy to stop, but that didn't hold him from running his hands all over Tav any chance he got. Tav was too focused on keeping her urges at bay to really tune in to what her body wanted or was saying. It's only after, once Astarion returns, that she realizes how much she's always desired him physically.

Tav could fall asleep during, should she orgasm enough. They sap her energy, either by putting her mind at ease or the energy demand is truly that high for an orgasm. Astarion may need a few moments to recover, but he could either fall asleep with her or stay up the entire night. It's entirely his choice.

[yandere-daydreams]

Seeing that kaveh and Al Haitham post has me thinking. Who is the arguably better one to the darling or are they just both terrible in different ways

tw - kidnapping, manipulation, implied abuse, and implied non//con.

i don't think they're completely equal in terms of how unbearable they make your life, but i do think which one you find more intolerable depends on what you're looking for in a captor.

alhaitham is inflexible. he keeps you on an air-tight schedule suited to turn you into the kind of partner he wants you to be, rather than the personal you are, and no amount of whining or resistance is going to shake his resolve. you don't have to guess what his rules are, he's already forced you to memorize them by the end of your first week in his care, and while he's far from lenient, you're always going to know why you're being punished and what you could've done to avoid his 'tough love'. his standards are so surprisingly low, considering how much he expects you not to do. to him, you're something malleable and submissive - more of a pet to be taken care of than a partner to be doted on. as long as you're quiet and obedient, you'll be able to get away with not returning his affection and throwing the occasional fit. he might not see you as a human being, but he doesn't expect you to act like one when you're being treated like an animal, either.

kaveh, in comparison, is a man ruled by passion. his ultimate goal is to turn you into a loving, requiting partner, which means he's going to treat you like someone who does love him, but is refusing to admit it for whatever petty reason you've gotten into his head. he doesn't have rules you have to follow, but he's so reactive, the only thing you can really afford to think about when he's around is not hurting his feelings and making him think he has to prove how much he adores you, again. he gives you more freedom, lets you out of their stifling apartment for lunch-dates outside of the city and brings you anything you ask for, whether or not it's within his limited budget, but he expects you to return his choking affection, to play into the role he's decided you ought to play. if you fail to, the only thing you'll be able to count on is that he's going to continue to love you.

they both suck so, so bad. it all about what flavor of sucking you personally prefer.

[brucewaynehater101]

man, my *pressing ask only to go wait holy shit!!* is getting out of hand

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Ranger and DigiDestinedhood hammers home to the team that as good as saving people is, secret identities are a paaain, but a nessecery pain

But they would never trade it for the world

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Tim arguably has it easier than everyone else when it comes to identity shenanigans. He has no powers, and thus no expectation to become a hero himself.

Inheriting Drake Industries and maintaining it will be a chore. However, if he plays his cards right, he can get digimon on his playrole to act in his stead when he can get away with remote work

The company still has motives to profit, but when it comes to it's non-profit organization and welfare departments? Policies to keep them at top quality are aggresively enforced.

It will also heavily invest in technology, particulary regarding the internet in ways that benefit his team's mission and the digital world

A good percentage of remote workers aren't even physical, but nobody except seven needs to know that

Plus Drake Industries will grow like never before. He can spout loads of bullshit to the press as to how but his team knows the truth

The Digital World and his Digital employees

The Batfamily are the main source of his worries, but he's got things under control

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

What Tim doesn't have to worry about is passing for (wholly) human. Becoming a Power Ranger of the Digivision negated his 100% human percentage, but minus some scares and precautions here and there, nobody will realize he's an unordinary human boy

He can provide support and even ways to help them hide their more extraordinary traits, employ Digimon support, but there's only so much he can do

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Thorn can't help being frightened whenever Luthor is their foe, when Superman is front of him congragulating on a job well done

When Superman questions his frozen still state, he just says that he's a huge fan and can never believe it when he sees the super

"But I understand that I should see the man under the cape, not just the symbol, and I'll do my best to do so."

And he thought just seeing them on the screen or in the distance was bad

It's a frightening, but easy to take of the kryptonite when in Ranger form, and his friends and people are in danger, and embrace his powers to save the day, clumsy as he is at it

It's going to be a long time coming when he stops wearing kryptonite under his clothes, in his pockets outside of training, no matter how much better his body feels without it, and let himself be witness to so much agony in his civillian life

When Superman asks Data Ranger is also a Kryptonian?

When Superman stares down Thorn with both of them knowing full well they know that the other knows that they know?

"You're my clone"

Thorn can taste his death through the very kryptonite he's indulged a life's comfort in. Compared to what's more likely?

He'd much prefer that

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Speedster metabolism is a straight up liability when you're trying to keep yourself secret

Bart wasn't pretending he didn't exist persay, just one of the more instrumental parts of himself

The Flash family was sniffing around since news about the Vaccine Ranger and the speed force first popped up. Please stay away thank you. And thank you Batman paranoia!

Sucked how the most crash parts of his life circled around to being mode--- oh hey his favorite store just opened!

Bart had to be very, very careful not to speed. Which was utterly mode in his books but it's crash in the long run

Tl;Dr?---he liked this time and world's slang---Tim is having him and Thorn live at his place since they're homeless otherwise, and the press sucks! But living with Tim comes with a rad allowance he can spend on all the food and snacks he wants

Tim was working on getting revolutionary food preservation tech and other tech and GMOs made so Bart would never want for anything that satiated his hunger and taste buds again

but for now he'd have to settle for shopping

"How many parties are you buying for?" the cashier asked

"I've made it a career," he jested

And if he used the speedforce to give him a tip of bills adding up to hundred with a note of "keep the change :D --signed party boy"?

Sue him, Gotham was mode!---No offense Tim---people needed all the help they could get here

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Cassie arguably has it harder than the rest of her team from a certain view

What's stopping Zues or anybody else affiliated with him in anyway from flying down from the heavens and declaring her own divinity for everyone to hear?

What's keeping her from being forced into a spotlight or duties at the wave of a hand?

Pouring through texts for anything---anything!---that could conceal demigodhood, she mentally noted down anything that boosted luck as well. Knowing anything, she'll need it

She looked up to see that the digimon helping her were barely making more progress than her

So much for the ✨Age of Information!✨ she thought

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Tl;Dr --- The Digital Division don't want their civillian identities compromised because it could compromise their allies

And they aren't to inclined to willingly share their identities to anybody outside of the Digital Division

If they manage to not compromise their allies, the prospect of being forced into another superheroism identity and thus be forced to juggle three secrety identities is something they don't want

Also rip Thorn with his unreliable narration. Lies and mental illness are a bitch!

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Hey maybe the team expands the Digital Division to have its own social worker department of sorts aimed at helping the community

Maybe it's the start of the digital world and real world coming together as one, or maybe a different approach is taken

One must wonder the public and real world's reaction to the existence of the digital world

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

Also Bart and Terriermon would probably use a bunch of Digital World slang in the future addition to real world future slang, where as the present Digital World uses their own terms, another way of displaying their displacement in time

Also Tim would probably have Bart and Thorn stay at the Drake Manor since they're a bit homeless and maybe he arranges Helena and his parents to meet if they haven't already so Cassie can have an excuse to come and stay over whenever

Thorn and Bart staying at Tim's place is great! I like the addition here of the Digital Division kind of treating other heroes as pests. They are basically trying to shoo away anyone who's trying to figure out their identity.

I bet Batman is going nuts. He can't really track/follow them into and out of the digital world. Maybe he tries to get Oracle to help? Wonder how that would go.

I'm also vibing with the digital employees and Tim continuing to be the CEO for D.I.

Overall, the concept is cool as hell!

[stromuprisahat]

Why don't you like Genyalina nor Zenya? Just curious,I don't like those ships either.

Genyalina suffers the same issue Darklina does- for it to work, Alina would need to drastically change. While Alina never sees the Darkling as a human being, Genya has it arguably better- she's the kind of friend that makes Alina feel good about herself.

I'll talk about Genya from the first book, because I don't consider what the author turned her into a character at all, merely a convenient punching bag, perpetual victim and occasional mouthpiece.

Genya's job was to introduce Alina to life of Little Palace and keep an eye on her. Genya's JOB. What she didn't have to do, was becoming Alina's friend. She's constantly trying to cheer her up, bringing her little gifts and latest gossip, drawing her out of her shell, even sneaking her into Grand Palace to try on the Queen's dresses- and let's not forget the Queen would certainly NOT be pleased about that.

She's the giving kind of person, while Alina mostly mopes around, still in denial about who she is, constantly whining about Mal and lack of letters from him. During her stay in Little Palace, she does exactly one (1) nice thing for Genya only, then promptly proceeds to disregard her experience with the Royals and upsets her, because Genya doesn't buy her apocalyptic vision of the Darkling's plans.

I've seen people arguing Genya was the one, who betrayed Alina first, because THOSE FUCKING LETTERS... I have three points to this:

Genya's a soldier at this point. Her personal feelings shouldn't influence her service. She's already possibly overstepping by pleading with the Darkling for Alina's sake. She's also a spy- a person, whose job description includes lying to people, whether she likes them or not.

Like it or not, Mal (and Alina's idealized past) are the reason she kept supressing her powers even after her discovery. Not only it rendered her useless for Ravka, her health kept suffering, so yes, I actually think cutting her off Mal was good for her. (I know it's an ugly concept, but what we want and what we need are often two diametrically different matters.)

Least but not last, Alina's dumb as a plum, writing about things that shouldn't make it out of Little Palace anyway. Censorship is a tool armies use to protect both their soldiers and their moves against their enemy.

To get back to your question, I don't ship Genya with Alina, because I think one of them gives as much as she can, while the other isn't really interested in reciprocity.

I've had this sort of friends. It sucks. It drains you. And once they dump you, you find yourself missing them anyway.

Zenya... well, if we're talking my beloved Genya from the first book again, she and Zoya didn't like each other. It's not hard to figure out why.

Zoya's hung up on the Darkling, while Genya truly has some sort of closeness with him. Zoya's needy to be the centre of all attention, while Genya's naturally captivating. Zoya's striving to be the best of the best, while Genya doesn't really do "anything useful", but still she's at court (and again, appreciated by the Darkling). Judging by the way Genya was delighted to see Zoya taken down a notch, I wouldn't be surprised if she were a part of anti-Safin slut-shaming club.

Although I prefer to ignore the post-character assassination "Genya" from later books, even their later friendship seemed to be working largely because Zoya can easily typecast the Tailor as another of the Darkling's victims.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

I don’t know if this was asked before, but maybe reactions of the companions seeing a real life alien spacecraft and said alien? It always bothered me that they never said anything when you discover the ship

Thank you and also I enjoy reading your blog!

Fo3 Companions Reactions To Seeing An Alien/Alien Spacecraft

➼ Word Count » 0.9k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Platonic/Romantic ➼ A/N » I'm assuming this was meant for the fo3 companions cuz I remember feeling so cheated when they just watched Lone get kidnapped and never mentioned anything about it

Charon takes his gun out the second he spots the UFO on the other side of the hill and gets noticeably more tense the closer you both get. He'll hold his arm out, silently telling you to stay back as he inspects it closer. He won't have much to say about it, only giving you a few grunts in response if you ask him any questions. Charon hates everything about it. It's too much of a mystery for it to be safe, and tries to shoo you back the way you came from. He panics when the strange blue light covers your form and takes you upward into the spacecraft. He tries to shoot the aliens the moment he spots one wandering around. He doesn't trust them at all and will gladly massacre the whole ship if it means the two of you will end up surviving.

Clover doesn't believe in aliens or understand the hype surrounding them, so when she sees the spacecraft for the first time, she's not all that impressed. If anything, she's bored and will want to go home. Especially when she sees one of the aliens for the first time. She thinks they look disgusting and would want to wipe them out as soon as possible.

Star Paladin Cross finds the UFO to be a technological marvel and would want to take in as much information as she can to take back to the Brotherhood. She'll be slightly distracted with the crashed ship to immediately notice you being taken, but once she looks over and realizes what's happening, she'll take out her gun and start shooting (although she'd prefer it be within range for her to just bash it with her sledgehammer). She'll see the aliens as abominations and will want to slaughter them all the moment she's given the opportunity. The aliens, however, find her robotic body to be fascinating and will try to keep her for further studies.

Jericho thinks it's stupid and will opt to just kick at the crashed spaceship. Who finds these things interesting, anyway? He freaks out a bit when you begin to be abducted as he feels as if it was his fault you got taken. Unlike the others, he won't try and attack the aliens immediately. Instead, he pretends they aren't there and tries to find a button or something to get you guys off and back into the Capital Wasteland. He still thinks the whole thing is stupid, and the entire interaction would make him hate aliens all the more.

Butch is arguably the most excited out of everyone on this list. Ever since he left the vault he's been hoping you both would run into something like this. He'll ramble on and on about all the comics he used to read back in 101, and hey, did you ever read those? 'Cause they were the most exciting thing that ever happened to the vault. He's talking so much that he hardly notices you being sucked up into the sky, but he quickly grabs onto you when he notices you leaving the ground. He fanboys so hard over the aliens, opting to ignore every bad thing about them and instead focusing on how accurate the comics had gotten them. He'd be heartbroken if you had to kill them but definitely prefers to be on the ground than in space. He'll never stop telling others about the incident. He's so amazed at the world outside the vault, and it only serves to inflate his adventurous side more.

Fawkes finds the crash site intriguing as it's full of technology he'd only ever seen in science fiction novels. He makes a point to stick close to you as he's almost certain this entire place is bound to be dangerous, and he's proven right when you're both abducted. He's very polite to the aliens throughout it all, however, being locked in the glass enclosure reminds him all too much of his time in Vault 87. He doesn't like it on the ship all too much and gathers as many resources and weapons as he can to break you and all the others out of the ship. If he could avoid it, he'd prefer not to kill any of the aliens as he believes they were only curious and hadn't meant any real harm, but if he had no other choice, he wouldn't lose any sleep mowing them down with his minigun.

When RL-3 hears the word 'alien' he thinks of immigrants, so when you come across the alien spacecraft and get kidnapped, he considers it an act of terrorism, or at the very least, a hostage situation. He'll command the creatures to unhand the both of you immediately and if they don't comply, he'll have the full US military on them for false imprisonment. They don't listen, of course, not understanding a word either of you say, and carry on with their research. He'll hold a very negative impression of aliens and anything extraterrestrial afterward.

Dogmeat will cluelessly sniff around the broken-down ship, not fully understanding what it is exactly. He'll then watch you get taken up into the sky with perked-up ears and a slight tilt of his head. The aliens aren't that interested in dogs so they leave him right there and that's where he'll wait until you manage to come back.

[system-of-a-feather]

I think one of the wildest things about recovery thus far - particularly as a system with at least heavy psychological abuse and arguable programming - is just really realizing how much of my trauma narrative I've lived my whole life with was largely manufactured and wrong.

I'm not meaning in the sense 'its a lie' or 'I don't have trauma' because the foundation of my narrative was correct; my parents were abusive and neglectful, they were harmful and traumatizing

But the details and the impact and the understanding of my childhood and trauma was so fucking shaped, curated, controlled and directed by my sister - who until literally 21 or 22 I thought was my ONLY positive and supportive person in my life even when she was a leading player in our CSA

And at a certain point - I don't even remember what exactly, I think it started with XIV, then Data and Jii sharing concerning things, then her own actions both confirming and validating it - we really realized, of all our abusers and all our trauma-makers, our sister has and always been the most insidious

Because she was the ONLY supportive older person in our life and because she had been toying with us and our dissociative amnesia since before we could generally reliably remember things and she really got in there really young, we never really seemed to ever question ANYTHING she told us. She told us how our parents were. She told us how the world works. She told us how we had to act and how wed die if we didnt. She told us of conditions we didn't have but fully believed we did and how to cope with them. Our whole understanding of our family, life, and medical / physiological conditions were really almost entirely shaped by her.

And the past two or three years since we cut her off and humored challenging everything we learned from her? Realizing how much of it was controlling BS and just straight up wrong?

Most specifically, realizing that my parents were dumb and traumatized but genuinely doing what they could with what they knew to support us to the best of their ability? Most specifically that my parents, especially older, would really do whatever they can to make sure we suffer as little as possible and grow to be independent? Most specifically that they genuinely just want fair appreciation for massive financial help and nothing more when they offer HUGE support????

I have been regularly attacking my parents, denying support because its a "controlling trap", and fighting with my parents to defend my oldest sister for SO many years when literally it was all fucking because??? ???

My sister is mentally ill and traumatized so I also dont think she lied about the trauma / family / world perspectives she had but good god, to be the guinea pig, puppet, toy and projection project of someone so intensely not coping, not well, traumatized, paranoid (likely clinical) and refusing to seek help due to aforementioned paranoia.

Fuckin hell man

I vent about this more because its absurd and less because it hurts because honestly, the reality that I've learned is way nicer and preferred to the hell story I lived my life under

As much as it sucks, Im glad and happy to find out it was all wrong and my life is way better

But holy fucking shit is it a mind fuck to have your whole ass trauma narrative flipped on its head in two years after 6 years of PTSD / DID therapy

Save for like one abuser, all my most hated abusers are now some of my best supporters, and my only supporter is now the only person I have cut off.

Its so fucking wild

Especially as a fused whole because I just get random memories, a lot of good ones too, and really have to wonder What The Fuck Martha

[frostise]

🐶 + 🦒

𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒   ┇   accepting ♡

🐶 ---- Does your muse get excited easily? Is there someone (or particular people) that make them excited?

louise is a hard person to appease as far as i can tell. if anyone is going to fit her ideal type—be it platonic or romantic—they better be ready for a hot pursuit. there's far too many characters to name that make her feel a certain type of way. so i'm sticking with plastique (bette sans souci), firehawk (lorraine reilly) and deadshot (floyd lawton) as the three primary examples of louise's genuine crushes, obsessions and sexual interests based on canon evidence.

the first person she had a crush on was plastique when she was beginning her criminal career. frost was pretty expressive and shameless in her pursuit, yet backed away whenever bette displayed disinterest. they barely knew each other and kf was already in awe of her upon their first meeting after she got saved and plastique 'killed' firestorm. she seemed to get over the abrupt rejection and went after firehawk who was sorta similar to bette in terms of their appearances.

the thing that stands out to me the most is that killer frost always had a thing for redheads because she also flirted with firehawk and these were tough women on opposite sides of the law. arguably enough, louise was in a mourning state and probably wanted a distraction away from the inducing pain she felt from crystal's death.

unlike with bette, louise unleashed her sadism onto firehawk and it was more about trying to snuff the flames rather than pursue an actual love interest. she developed a weird, hate obsessive streak and it's mainly rooted with the fact firehawk was allies with firestorm. the only excitement is just the thrill of the kill and the thought of firestorm being devastated by his friend's death. plus, firehawk's blue flames trigger a euphoric response from louise since she thrives on heat source. blue fire burns the hottest does it not?

next we have deadshot. a great example of a healthy friendship she had in the comics. no matter what race he was depicted as, they're shown to be close friends in the suicide squad. floyd and frost had a knack for killing people, their banters were on point and even wholesome at times (in their own twisted way) and more importantly she holds floyd to a high regard when it comes down to their contract jobs. later in the suicide squad run she expressed sexual interest towards him and offered to hook up when they knew each other for a long time, but he turned her down because he didn't see her that way. she took it well and moved on rather quickly. they are still close friends to this day.

in conclusion, louise prefers intelligent, strong-willed, witty and stoic characters. if the person she's interested in is a redhead then it makes her sexually excited. she won't bother them if they show signs of disdain. with heroes like firehawk, frost will never hold back from being a creep. there's been times where she would be disrespectful on purpose and cause firehawk discomfort. i would call this 'one-sided mock flirting' at best. it's the sole reason why i don't like shipping frost with heroic characters because she will be the most unhinged bitch you've ever seen lmfao

🦒 ---- How does your muse feel about height? Do they like their height or are they ashamed of it?

her height makes her incredibly insecure because she got chubby as a teenager from eating fast food and suffered from body issues from how much of a fat slob she felt, which was accompanied by chubby short legs and muffin top pouring out whenever she wore tight jeans. it was obvious because of her shortness. even sucking her stomach in or wearing baggy clothes couldn't prevent from being viewed as a 'bloated beach ball' if you will.

louise got bullied by the popular girls in her school and developed low self esteem issues ever since. unfortunately it's how she got obsessed into incorporating workout routines everyday by playing sports such as netball or tennis until she finally slipped into the ideal image society wanted her to be: petite and adorable with a trim figure. nobody wants a chubby pig for a friend. it's been ingrained into her brain ever since.

most of the time louise wears high heels, platform shoes and boots with thick soles to seem taller than she actually is. loves to tower over people (mostly the men) when it comes to staircases. it's all about the power trip she receives from it, growing tired of getting picked on or underestimated just because she's 5'3''. she stopped growing the moment she hit her teenagehood and had to make up for her lack of intimidation in appearance by resorting to boosting her personality up. even before her criminal career she felt powerless and unheard among others.

living in nyc isn't for the weak willed and as a result to that, become louder than the city ever could be and i mean that in a "you listen to me! not the bustling of the city streets and cars passing us by!" kind of typical nyc attitude. it worked for her and others would usually notice her volume first before her height came in second place.

i would also like to incorporate that louise stands on her tippy toes whenever she's angry without even realising it until someone pokes fun at her for it. it's funny af.

[rom-e-o]

Not long after starting the lounge singing (so before the Twins), Bess is wooed into going out with a cute, funny, seemingly sweet bartender that often works through her sets. The first date goes so well, Bess lets him kiss her goodnight when he drops her home: It's a little forward, tongue and significant moisture are felt a little earlier than Bess would normally want, but he doesn't push for more and is charming. Besides, Bess only ever kissed Oliver before and he was a Terrible Kisser™️. So maybe this is what kissing is actually supposed to be like?

Over the course of two months, they go out on various dates. The guy's persona never slips; he is always nice, courteous, gentle, etc. He is a bit more forward with where he likes to put his hands and kiss her despite how they claim to not be exclusive just yet and are just testing the waters, but he doesn't pressure her for sex. He never picks up on how she prefers live flowers to cut ones and dark chocolate to milk, but nobody is perfect. And this all feels nice and fun. Bess does think she might be falling for him a bit , though.

Then, one afternoon, Bess comes home after meeting him for lunch. She looks... it's hard to say--dazed? There are a lot of emotions in those eyes.

It's just her and Connie in the house at that time, and Bess asks to talk. Turns out, at lunch, Bess and Mr. Bartender had the discussion about where this all was going. They like each other. A lot. He'd really like to be her boyfriend. Bess admitted she'd really like to be his girlfriend. There's only one snag: Their relationship would have to be an open one to work for him. He's already been seeing other girls on the side with various levels of exclusivity while dating her. He already has a couple girlfriends. They're all actually poly together, but Bess wouldn't have to be if that's not her thing (it's not). "I just have so much love to give, Angel!" is his excuse. "Too much for any one girl to handle by herself."

Bess' romantic dream her entire life has been to be someone's One and Only™️. She wants to be enough for someone--just her. That only got stronger after Oliver. But this guy has been the closest thing to a dream relationship she's ever had: He's been nothing but sweet, caring, and a gentleman. The idea of an open relationship makes Bess sick to her stomach and makes her feel inadequate (and just is not her thing), but she wants love. She wants romance. And she's already a little more wrapped up in Mr. Bartender than she'd want or care to admit. "Should I do this, Connie? It feels so... wrong. Skeavy. Like an excuse for him to two-time me. I think about it and it hurts and I just wanna cry. But what if this is the only chance at real love I'm ever gonna get? What if I'm just not made to be enough for someone?Maybe I'm just not that lovable enough and all I can be is... one of a number." Tears are definitely trickling down Bess' cheeks.

Oughhhh, that’s rough. The “he’s so nice, BUT” scenario. But he’s not so nice. He misled her and is using an excuse, it sounds like, to date multiple ladies. It sucks and is heartbreaking.

Constance noticing Bess seems off, and as they talk. Connie listens for a long, LONG time. There’s lots of hugs, tissues and a bottle of gin is definitely opened.

After Bess has said everything and poured those emotions out, Connie brings her close and tight for a hug.

Connie isn’t poly, but she’s definitely acquainted with poly couples from back in NYC. She knows they have a healthy and loving dynamic, but it’s healthy because everyone in the poly relationship WANTS a poly relationship. They’re open about what their needs and wants are …they’re not leading people on like this guy arguably did to Bess.

Besides, his EXCUSE for wanting that type of relationship is …interesting. I wonder how he’d feel about his girls having multiple boyfriends, haha? PROBABLY not as enthusiastic as he lets on.

“You’re not in the wrong for wanting one partner to love you, Bess,” she explains softly. “To be their …’endgame’ is what kids are saying nowadays, right? Anyway, it’s like any other preference … he should have disclosed that sooner, honestly. Sounds like he was playing games and just hoped you’d roll with it. I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself.”

She runs slow circles into her back, just focusing on making Bess comfortable.

“The answer is no. You shouldn’t do it. Because you obviously don’t want this. There would be nothing but more heartache down the line, which is not what you deserve. He was too forward, and he was misleading. He doesn’t deserve you.”

Another squeeze.

“What you do deserve is exactly what you want: one partner that loves you. This isn’t your only chance. Men are attracted to you, Bess. You are beautiful and a catch … that also means you’re gonna have duds like this guy try to woo you.

“I say dump him. Kindly, but in public, where he can’t squirrel his way back in without sounding like an ass to everyone else around. Don’t let him be a blockade to your true happiness. You deserve better, and you have a soulmate that’s waiting out there for you! Don’t settle.”