#but i keep going

[simplepotatofarmer]

been working hard.......

[samsalems]

me rn if im honest

[youngroyals-stuff]

[ribbondee]

Feeling a bit vent-y about my autism today, so that's under the cut. Yay?

Something I've noticed about being autistic is... I sometimes feel distant from others and the world around me, sometimes to the point of not even feeling human.

I feel like the world around me is so weird and impossible to truly comprehend, and the only way for me to fit in and be accepted is to put on a neurotypical mask.

It's like I'm the alien, and I'm on the wrong planet.

Not helping is the fact that I was diagnosed with several mental illnesses (which were described as severe by a psychologist at my psyche eval), and adding onto that my autism causes me to feel emotions intensely which only makes that worse.

People can go on and on about how they don't understand me all they like, but in truth I don't understand THEM! Sarcasm and jokes go way over my head, and I still have difficulty wrapping my head around some neurotypical mannerisms.

As a result my social skills stink, and I tend to find solace with like-minded people on the web rather than irl, or even in my fandom hyperfixations.

But yeah sometimes it's like there's a barrier between me and others, and one has to wonder if I put that wall there or not cuz idk.

People tell me my autism makes me special, but I don't feel special. I feel like a wreck. I'm supposedly fortunate for being "high functioning" but yet my autism still kicks my behind every single day.

I guess being high functioning causes people to have too high expectations, sometimes even I do. I'm still freaking disabled, and I need support at times. I don't even know if I'll ever be able to truly be independent (at the age of 24 going on 25 no less).

Welp, that's all I got. Yeah autism can be difficult for the person who has it as well, not just others. Just felt the need to get all of this off my chest for some reason.

[drink-some-cranberry-juice]

u know the hyperfixation is doing its ~thang~ when u start losing sleep

[dritten170]

Everyday I have to firmly grasp my shoulders and shake myself and say “IT GETS BETTER IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER THIS IS NOT US WE ARE NOT STUCK AS THE WORST VERSION OF OURSELVES” and everyday I believe myself just a bit more.

[laupiehouppette]

The chapter 6 draft is finally done!

The eyes took so much re-writing that I almost wanted to give up their part for this chap but I made it through!!

Now I let it rest while making the render scene!

[marcusbrutus]

the worst part about ocd and ocd-like tendencies is that you think hyper-analyzing your thoughts and constantly psychoanalyzing yourself will fix you but that's actually part of the disorder. it's the disorder. disordering.

[byjove]

[overcaffeinated-aro]

ok not to be that guy but like. labor rights and working class rights can coexist with 24h services and late amenities. its certainly hard to do so without worker exploitation in this political and social environment, it’s not a conflict likely to resolve overnight. but 24h services are important and especially valuable to those of us that are disabled or are on a different circadian rhythm. in fact more professional, health, and government services should be available or at least possible to work on asynchronously (if applicable) during late or odd hours, while workers also get sufficient pay for their labor and proper consistent scheduling. this would be much easier on the workers with night schedules if the entire professional world didn’t grind to a halt at 5pmEST

[dreadfulman]

It is genuinely fascinating how many feminist cis women, including those who are on paper openly supportive of trans people, struggle to actually think about trans men as a concept.

A few months ago I ended up having a very long talk with a friend of a friend. She told me that she'd never really spoken to a trans man before, the only trans people she knew were trans women. There was a point, after the third time I reminded her that I was a man, that she just sorta of slotted me into her mental box of "man", and I could tell that happened because after that point she started trying to explain things to me as if I was a cis man.

I categorically do not "pass" and likely never will. I'm very short, my hips are prominent because I'm fat, I keep my hair long, charitably I could be said to have a baby face, I have D-cups and cannot bind due to spinal problems. To the majority of cis people I do not "look like a man".

But for the rest of the conversation I had with this friend of a friend I had to keep reminding her of how other people are going to view me, because there was no room in her mental idea of "man" for a man who is not treated as one. This was not malicious on her part, she was very nice to me, and I believe her when she says she wants to support trans people. I do not think she was lying when she told me how horrified she was to learn about how her trans woman friends were treated.

She said she was envious of me going out alone and how I need to understand that's a facet of male privilege and I asked her to look at me and explain why I'd be any safer. She was shocked to learn that I've been catcalled, been assaulted, that I regularly get spoken down to by cis men, shocked to learn I don't have a single transmasc friend who hasn't. She couldn't understand that I'm going to be treated the same by misogynists as any fat cis woman who doesn't wear makeup. There was no room in her feminism for trans men, because there was no room in her understanding of gender for men who are not cis.

We ended up talking about politics. She told me she was terrified of abortion being banned, and that this would never be a threat if men could get pregnant.

[yourlocalrandombisexual]

why do i keep watching 'and just like that'? every year i'm like you don't have to watch this and every year i watch it. i can't help it it's like a car crash you can't look away

[windsails]

im extremely wierd and unpopular. and thats okay 🙏 in my lane. moisturizing. decided to try watching sitcoms again instead of the depressing show that makes me sad. i hope it works. my minecraft house continues to grow. now i can take a minecart into the lush cavern. i found a guant crystal underground. i’m working on a new note taking app project. i’m almost done editing my skeleton book. i’m reading kushiels dart book 2. i’m reading walter benjamin’s essays about art and film. i’m tuning out. i’m drinking water every day. i’m focusing on my breathing

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️

[luciaspoetic]

The elevator smelled like my perfume from 12th grade

When I still thought so much of myself

But only now, when I smelled it

I thought that I’m not much of myself

I’m now some shell that changes it’s colors for my friends

And only the mirror can see where the truth starts and the lie ends

Am I plastic, am I glass, am I some soft fuzzy thing

It’s my turn to bat, but I only just learned how to swing

The elevator smelled like my perfume from 12th grade

But I’ll never smell like me again, in that same way

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)