#but i hate that i am always always always the person who has to take care of uncomfortable things like making phone calls and shit
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
back2bluesidex · 1 day ago
Text
To Be Popular - JJK [Chapter 1]
Tumblr media
Pairing: Social Media Influencer! Jungkook X Marketing Manager! Reader ft. Yoongi
Summary:
You love everything about social media - apart from the ever-growing number of social media influencers. You don't understand how these people gain followers and admirers just by installing a camera and doing very basic things in front of it. And you despise how some of them can do anything to gain fame, to be popular - even if it includes uploading their bedroom scene in pornsites aka people like Jeon Jungkook. But when your company launches a new product and your department head tasks you with signing Jeon Jungkook up as an endorsement partner - you have no choice but to chase him like the corporate slave that you are. However, things turn worse when you embroil in a dating rumor with him and have to keep the game going for the sake of everything. is it really for the worse or things will turn in a way you never expected it to?  
Theme: Strangers to lovers au, fake dating au, kind of enemies to lover au, angst, smut, fluff.
Full Series Word Count: 26k
Chapter word count: 5.8k+
Warnings: tiny flirting, argument, that's all.
Masterlist | Patreon (For access to the complete series)
Taglist requests are open.
Minors, I am not responsible for what you consume online. So, act more rationally and stay away.
Tumblr media
Chapter index: -
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |
Or read the full series right away on Patreon!!
Tumblr media
Thanks to the every possible gods out there, you are capable of keeping your poker face even when your insides are burning with rage. 
Like right now. 
First of all you landed in a proposition with one of the people you don’t even like, that too, with the most insufferable one in question. 
Secondly, your superiors are treating him as if he has won a gold medal or something. 
Min Yoongi - the man who is known for his nonchalance and quiet wisdom, can’t seemingly stop giving his gummy smile to this guy, Jeon Jungkook. 
Mrs. Lee, who is probably double the age of the guy, is ogling him as if it's a zombie apocalypse and she hasn’t seen another male for thirty years or so. 
When they both turn to you, you realize they are probably waiting for you to react the same way as them. 
Too bad, you are not even the least bit amused. 
After greeting both of the superiors, Jeon Jungkook looks at you - with those big ass googly eyes. A kind smile plays on his lips. 
He extends his hand with a soft “nice to meet you.” 
Well. definitely not the same. You scream internally but you compose yourself and return his smile, somewhat half-assed, as you wrap your small hand around his big veiny ones (the same hand that does those dirty deeds with others of his stature).
“Nice to meet you too.” you murmur only because Yoongi is giving you those eyes you absolutely love and hate at the same time. 
Yoongi gestures to Jungkook to take the seat, “So, Mr. Jeon. I assume you have gone through our proposal already?”
“Umm.. yeah. My manager did go through your proposal and briefed me.” Jeon Jungkook says with a voice that doesn’t match that gruff, breathy one from the video. 
Why the fuck do I keep thinking of the video? You inhale a long breath. 
“Okay so.. Is there any question in your mind? Or do you want me to go through it all once again?” Yoongi adds good naturedly.  
“Umm no actually. I came here to decline your offer.” Jungkook drops the bomb. If you are low-key happy then you don’t let it show on your face. 
“W-what? Why? Is there any part of the offer that is not up to your liking? We can revise it anytime you want.” Mrs. Lee butts in. 
“Uh. no not that. I personally don’t like to use the devices that your company manufactures. All of your laptops are so bulky, the chassis is always too old-fashioned. It’s not something Jeon Jungkook would use, you know what I mean?” Jungkook reasons smugly, as he leans on the backrest of his chair and crosses his legs. 
You hear blood rushing to your brain and before any of your superiors can say anything you start speaking, “oh really? Must be tough to carry our laptops to a pornset or something, huh?” 
You see Jungkook’s eyes going comically wide as he tries to register what you have just said. 
“What? What are you talking about?” he semi-screams. His attention is now trained only and only on you. 
“You know very well what I am talking about, Mr. Jeon.” you lean on the table just as smugly. Under the table Yoongi kicks on your shin but you dodge his attack at the right time. 
Jungkook laughs. A big, thunderous laugh, “I don’t see it being any of your business to question what I do in my free time, is it?” 
You smirk. If he thought you are going to back off that easily, he was wrong, “it definitely is not. But the fact that we chose to offer you this endorsement deal despite your current public reputation, tells a lot about our dedication towards charity.” 
“Oh.. so this is a charity huh?” Jungkook narrows his eyes at you, “sorry to tell you but Jeon Jungkook doesn’t need any charity.” 
With that Jungkook stands up and gales at you for one last time before he storms out of the room. 
Yoongi slams his head directly on the table making you wince at the loud thud. 
“Y/N! What do you think you did?” Mrs. Lee screams in horror. 
“What?” you shrug in nonchalance, “he was going to say no anyway.” 
“Y/N” Yoongi finally says, probably after struggling not to punch himself in the face for inviting you to the meeting, “we could have negotiated if you chose to stay silent.” 
“But I only said what’s true. This collaboration could have saved his face. He was the one who chose to be an ass- I mean, inconsiderate.” you argue. 
“Oh really? Then why don’t you show him what’s right?” Yoongi says in a sugary voice, one that’s not really good news. 
“What do you mean?” you question, suspicion landing on your brain.
“You need to bring him back if you love the year-end appraisal or you can kiss your promotion goodbye.” he says in a collected voice. 
“What? Yoongi! You can’t do this!” you stand from your seat, and Yoongi only smirks at you. 
“Oh I definitely can. I can also submit a formal complaint against you calming that you have messed up an important deal. Do you want that?” 
You stay silent, questioning your life choices, your career choices. Cursing at the every god above for making you a human when you could have been a worm. 
No job, no money issues, no Min Yoongi, no Jeon Jungkook - only soil and dirt. 
You sit on the chair again, cover your face with both of your hands and curse “fuck everyone”. 
Tumblr media
Your eyes zero on your phone this time. The insta handle is burning too bright for the darkness of your room. Honestly, tapping the name is currently hurting your pride. 
But what can you even do - you are a corporate slave after all. And the crush you have on your direct superior, prevents you from being rebellious. 
But more than just that - you know you were wrong. 
Your hate towards the social media influencers clan is pretty much ridiculous and apparently has no reason. 
Is it due to your underlying insecurity? Is it because you believe you are inferior to them? While they make hundreds of dollars per hour, you make a dime? 
You probably hate Jeon Jungkook because he is the same age of yours and yet has everything you don’t? - like an amazing sex life. 
As you tap on the story, it takes you into a video with all colors of gleaming lights. Clearly a club. Loud music blares through your phone speaker, almost paralyzing your ears. 
You can’t see Jeon Jungkook on the screen, obviously because he is the one recording the video. But you can hear him whooing in the background. There are some girls around him for obvious reasons. 
Suddenly you feel jealous of him again. 
He is of your age and he is enjoying a night out at a posh club while you are on your bed, with your ugly pajamas on and you can’t go out because you have work tomorrow. 
As soon as the word “work” registers in your mind, you remember you have been tasked with bringing Jungkook back. 
You look at the screen again. He has added the location, which means you can find the club, find him and apologize (oh god no!) and beg him for another meeting. 
Yes. That's a nice plan. You can then mourn for your dead self-respect with a bucket full of ice-cream. 
Tumblr media
You have picked the shortest possible dress you own. 
It’s a shimmery black bodycon that reaches your mid-thigh. The noodle strap of the bodycon dress gives a tempting view of your collar-bone and cleavage. 
You have let your hair lose - you look the best like this. A touch of makeup and you are all ready. 
You know you are attractive but will that be enough for the bouncers to let you inside that posh club? You pray it’s enough. 
When the taxi drops you in front of the well-known club in Gangnam, you spot the line. And thankfully, the queue is not at all terrible. 
Since the clock hasn’t hit 10:00 pm yet, the entry is free. 
When you reach in front of the bouncers, they give you a once-over, then look at each other. Your hands feel clammy because they have rejected almost everyone before you. If you are not wrong then only two of the visitors were let in. 
But then one of them brought the stamp out and held it in front of your face. You gave him your wrist with a squeal of joy. 
Tumblr media
You let yourself go blind and deaf with the glaring lights and loud music. Wherever you look, you see people attached to people. Some are dancing, some are drinking, some are making out, some are just standing and talking with drinks in their hands. 
You don’t think you have seen this amount of strangers all year. 
You will admit - you feel alive. 
But no! No Y/N! You are here with a motive, you can’t let yourself be distracted! 
In the story, Jungkook seemed to be close to the bar island. Even though that was more than an hour ago, you still start looking for the bar island. 
“Why are there so many bars?” you mumble to yourself as you scan the entire floor. There are at least four bars here, there must be more on the upper floor. 
You start feeling helpless at once. All these strangers around you, wrapped in wealth, some giving you long looks - trigger your social anxiety. 
Bad decision. It’s a bad decision. You should probably just run away. 
But when you are about to take an u-turn, you see him. 
You see Jeon Jungkook on the dance floor, grinding on a red-headed pretty looking girl. 
He looks - like a fucking wet dream. 
A black baggy jeans, a black t-shirt, some bulky golden chains, his dark hair gleams under the lights. His lip ring shines directly on your eyes and you snap back. 
Great. Now that you have found him.. You can proceed with your plan - which is to beg him. 
Without a second thought, you start stepping on the dance floor. 
There are not a lot of people, so you easily get past everyone and stand there behind him. 
Your eyes drop on his ass, then his hands, his veins and you question your life choices. 
Somebody just crashes on you making you lurch forward. 
Your body slams against Jungkook’s back. You are about to apologize when he reaches behind with his hand and grabs your side. He grinds his ass on you without even looking at your face. 
You feel nauseous. This is the second time you are meeting him and the proximity is very scandalous. 
Placing your hand on top of his, you break free from his hold. 
“Jeon Jungkook, can I please talk to you for a moment?” you scream in his ears. 
He doesn’t stop moving, but you know he has heard you. 
Jungkook slowly moves on his feet while vibing and then turns to face you. 
His mischievous eyes bore into yours as he takes you in slowly. He shamelessly eyes your cleavage then looks back up your face. 
“What?” he screams over the music. 
“Not here. Can we go somewhere quiet?” 
He smirks at you, “oh? Already? Wait- have I seen you before?” 
Your blood turns cold, “no. I mean yeah. Actually-”
“You- that obnoxious employee from Techtonic? Right?” his eyes go wide. 
“Obnoxious? I am obnoxious? Then what are y-” you inhale, “Yes. I am Y/N. You are right. I am from Techtonic. Can I please have a word with you?” 
“No? Why would I spare my precious time on you? So that you can insult me again?” he frowns at your figure before starting to walk away.  
You grab onto his hand, “Please. I am here to apologize. I promise.” 
He looks back, takes a look at the place you are touching him and then looks at you, “if I give you a chance… What will you give me in return?” Jungkook challenges. 
What in the world did you get yourself into? 
Tumblr media
You don’t have a single drop of alcohol in your veins. 
I repeat - you don’t have a single drop of alcohol in your veins then what is making you feel so lightheaded? 
If it’s the spicy citrusy smell that Jeon Jungkook’s emitting then you won’t admit it even if you end up dying. 
“Tell me, Y/N. What will I get if I give you another chance?” he challenges again. This time his tongue pokes out of that perfectly small round mouth and plays with the glinting lip ring. 
You don’t understand the science of hearing him clearly despite the sound of loud music and the loud beating of your heart. 
“I- anything. Anything you ask for.” you choke out, uncertainty lacing your voice. 
“Anything I ask for?” Jungkook comes impossibly close to your body. 
You can see long fingers with even longer nails circling around his torso. The red-headed girl is clinged around him. 
“If- If I can afford that.” you choke out again.
“Oh.. you definitely can.” he smirks like a devil. All the smug pride drains from your body at the thought of what he might be asking from you. 
“Come with me.” Jungkook whispers briefly as he takes your hand and guides you through the crowd towards the upper floor. 
The piece of skin, where his fingers are holding your wrist - burns. 
You are ashamed, nervous, afraid - all in all you want to die. 
Just a week ago you were scoffing at your laptop watching this guy make fame out of a porn video and now he is leading you god knows where to do god knows what. 
Before you could take in your surroundings, Jungkook slams you on the nearest wall. He wastes no time in locking you between his arms. 
“You really came here only to convince me? You had no other intention, huh?” He asks with the lowest possible voice. A shiver runs down through the path of your spine. 
“No. What intention would I even have? I fucked things up at the meeting so my superiors are making me clean the mess.” Your voice comes out firmer than what you thought you could manage. 
“Oh? Really? But I think there is something else to it.” Jungkook comes closer to your body. His chest touches yours. You take a sharp inhale but keep the eye-contact intact. 
Jungkook’s eyes dip down to your chest again as he continues, “you want what you watched in that video, don’t you?” he wets his lips once those vile words come out of his mouth. 
Your jaw hits the floor almost, “what the fuck? What makes you think I want you?” 
Jungkook invades whatever was left off of your personal space and whispers right into your ear, “If you accept it nicely, tell me the truth whether you got turned on or not, I will give your company a chance.”  
You gulp at his offer. 
If you say you were completely unaffected after watching him fucking his partner so well, then it will be a lie for sure. 
So… if you swallow your pride and tell him that he indeed had some kind of effect on you - he will be up for another meeting? 
“And what if I tell you the truth?” you question, looking deep into his chocolate eyes. All you see there is mirth. 
“I will schedule another meeting with your company. But I will be declining you all again.” Jungkook adds nonchalantly. 
You scoff at that, pushing him away and making some space between your bodies, “so you are just going to use my confession and insult me in my workplace?” 
“Oooohhhh… You are not dumb, I see?” he muses, stumbling back from your body. 
“Wh-what? Dumb? You thought I am dumb? Mind you, Jeon Jungkook, I get paid for doing actual work and not because I keep hollering at a dumb computer screen in front of camera.” anger flares through every vein in your body. 
“And yet you came here to beg me?” he shrugs smugly. 
“You know what? Fuck you and your stupid followers who feed your stupid ego!” screaming at his face, you take steps away, stomping on the floor even if your heels are killing you already. 
This was a bad idea. Indeed a bad idea. 
You don’t get paid for dealing with these scumbags. So it’s not your responsibility. It’s better to have your appraisal compromised than falling in the trap of Jeon Jungkook. 
Tumblr media
You imagine Jungkook’s face in the place of the ice cream tub as you stab your fork in it with as much fierceness as you could find in yourself. 
Yes, you are eating ice-cream with a fork, so that you can imagine Jungkook’s face and stab in it. 
“Fucking nutjob! What do you even think of yourself!” stab stab stab “Karma will hit you back very soon! You fucking asshole!” stab stab stab. 
As if granting your prayers, the cosmos sends a notification to your device. You take the phone to see Yoongi's instagram handle that has sent you a text. 
You start blushing instantly.  
“Is this the universe’s way of making up for today’s trashy encounter?” you murmur to yourself as you open his text. 
It’s a link so maybe it’s one of those cat videos he sends you the links of. 
As you tap on the link, it takes to a post that has been made just an hour ago. The post - a video, containing proofs of Kim Doona (the influencer Jungkook fucked) being a high school bully. The video has texts sent by Doona to the victim, threatening her not to reveal anything. 
Looks like Karma mistook the address. It should have been Jeon Jungkook! 
You go to the comments. 
All of their followers are going crazy, it’s just the same shit in different sentences. So you scroll past it all. 
But there are two comments that catch your eye, actually one comment and its reply. 
Commenter: Can’t believe Jeon Jungkook chose her out of everyone? A class bully? Really Jeon? You could do better. 
Reply 1: What are you even saying? Jungkook probably didn’t even know and mind you, none of them confirmed if they were together or not.  Reply 2: but girl, they f*cked on camera!  Reply 3: How does that confirm their relationship?  Reply 4: Jeon Jungkook has a girlfriend, I caught them at the club just a few hours ago. The proof is in my story. 
Eh? Kim Doona isn’t his girlfriend? That was a rumor? He has another girlfriend who was with him at the club? 
But you were at the club too, you should have seen them. Is it that red-head girl? 
All of these questions swirl inside your head as you tap on the person’s story. 
The video is taken amid a mass of bodies, trying to be discreet, but you can recognize Jeon Jungkook, leading a woman through the crowd. 
Your heart stops beating for a moment when you realize it’s you. Your face is not visible properly, curtained by your hair, and you are thankful for that. 
The video continues as Jungkook takes you towards the quiet corner. The person, who’s recording, moves too for getting a clearer view. 
Now he is hiding behind the end of the wall that Jungkook had pressed you on. The video shows how he had towered you in, whispered in your ear and smirked at you. But then it gets cut right before you push him away! 
“Fuck! I am not his girlfriend! Are you people blind? How do we look like a couple?!” you scream at your phone. 
You decide you have had enough humiliation today. Hence, putting your phone in charge and traveling towards dreamland is a better idea. 
This fiasco may die down by the morning. People will definitely defy the girlfriend theory because you two don’t look like a couple. And your face wasn’t even properly visible in the video. So yeah let sleep solve your problems. 
Except - nothing solves. 
When you wake up and take your phone out of charge, you grasp so hard that your phone slips from your hold and lands on the bed with a thud. 
You have a thousand new follow requests on your instagram account. There are a ton of texts from various people in Ktalk and most of them have sent you insta links. 
You open your younger sister’s text. She has sent everything in caps: 
Y/N!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS??? [Link] YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU ARE DATING JEON JUNGKOOK????????
You type your reply: 
Calm down. I am not dating that douchebag. 
And then you tap on the link. 
The post that the link takes you to, can rival your natal chart. It’s a detailed discussion of who you are, what’s your job, how do you look, where you have probably met Jungkook and your insta handel. 
They have also attached a photo of Jungkook talking to you standing in the middle of the dance floor. 
“Fuck fuck fuck!!!!” you curse and curse and curse. 
Why are these people dragging you into this mess now? Why do they have to link you up with him? What the hell is even happening? 
How are you even going to get to work today?
You shoot a quick text to Yoongi saying that you need a off-day today for obvious reasons. He sends one of those rofl emojis along with a thumbs up and you try not to feel down. 
Yoongi doesn’t really understand what you feel for him? Does he? 
You mean you are embroiled in a dating rumor with someone else and he seems to be just fine? 
It’s just another confirmation that he doesn’t reciprocate your stupid crush on him. 
Just when you are about to keep your phone aside and sleep some more, you get a call from an unknown number. 
You don’t think much before receiving it. 
“Hello, who’s this?” your voice is still groggy and your stomach rumbles as you speak on the phone. 
A sweet cherry voice rings in your ear, “Hello, is this Y/N?” 
“Yes. and you?” 
“I am Kim Seokjin, Jeon Jungkook’s manager.” 
The remnant of sleep flies away from your eyes as the man introduces himself. Why is Jeon Jungkook’s manager calling you this early in the morning!? 
“How can I help you?” you voice, not trying to mask your confusion. 
“Y/N, I assume you are aware of the situation, right? I mean the rumors?” 
“I am aware and currently waiting for Mr. Jeon to decline the speculations.” you state as firmly as possible. 
“About that… Why don’t we discuss before revealing anything?” 
You frown at that.
“Discuss? What is there to discuss? You know well that I got to know Mr. Jeon via a professional connection, there is nothing else added to it, except for the fact that I visited the club to convince him for another meeting. And all of these things happened.” 
“Exactly. I know it all and I also know that it’s not nice to be dragged into this mess but we, me and Jungkook, have a proposition to make. We can use this situation for both of our benefits for strictly business purposes.” 
You sigh, “I don’t understand what you are trying to say Mr. Kim.” 
“Yes. That is only natural. So, why don’t we meet face to face and get down on the details of the proposition? You can bring a friend or family if you are not comfortable meeting us alone. How does lunch sound?” 
You think for a moment. You could probably take Jimin with you? Even though it’s monday, he will squeeze some time out of his schedule if you promise him free lunch. 
“Okay. I will send you a confirmation text in this number.” you reply before cutting the call and directing your fingers towards Jimin’s text. 
He has sent you a similar array of texts, so hopefully he won’t have too many questions to ask. He will understand once you give him a brief. 
“I will tell you everything, can you meet me for lunch? I need to meet Jeon Jungkook and his manager for obvious reasons. Free lunch will be offered.” 
His reply comes within a few moments, 
“I’m in. I will pick you up just text me the time.” 
You now type a text to Kim Seokjin confirming him the meeting as he texts you the time. 
Just when you are about to go to Jimin’s inbox again, another unknown number sends you a text. 
Annoyance flares through your veins as you open it. It says: 
“See you soon, pornaddict. 
– Jeon Jungkook.” 
You groan at the choice of nick name, “Fuck you, Jeon!” 
Tumblr media
You don’t understand many things. 
But currently, you don’t understand why this fine-as-fuck man is Jeon Jungkook’s manager slash assistant. 
He goes by the name Kim Seokjin. 
When he smiles at you, you melt. And to compose your flustered state you look at Jeon Jungkook - the (current) bane of your existence. 
He gives you a lopsided smile that obviously is fake, leaning down against the sofa seat absorbing as much sunlight as possible. 
You don’t give him any reaction.. Beside you, Jimin introduces himself to both of the men. 
“Miss Y/N. Thank you so much for coming.” Seokjin says in a pleasant tone. His voice sounds like honey dripping from a silver spoon. 
You nod, “Yeah. Alright, Mr. Kim, can I ask about the proposition you were talking about?”  
“Call me seokjin. And sure, let’s get into the important details.” he pauses to give you a sweet smile then opens his ipad and scrolls through something. Jungkook, too, scrolls through his phone so unamusedly as if he has been dragged here without his consent. 
“So, as you already know, the situation is out of hand now. We tried to take down the initial posts but the photos and videos spread like fire.” he speaks calmly. You nod along with him, Jimin too gives the older man his utmost attention. 
“On the other hand, our Jungkookie has been interacting with people, who are currently embroiled in controversy.” noted: Seokjin called Jungkook as Jungkookie and he is talking about Doona. 
You see Jungkook rolling his eyes. 
“If it wasn’t not for you, then he would be dragged down in the mess too.” Seokjin continues, “I know it’s not nice to be the center of unwanted attention and it is already causing you damage but… we need your help. Jungkook needs your help.” 
Jungkook makes a very unapproving sound from his seat. 
“What help? How can I even help you guys?” you are now extremely confused. Why would Jeon Jungkook, out of all people, need your help? 
“Date him.” Seokjin proposes. 
“What?” you and Jimin scream in unison. 
“Not for real. Calm down. I meant to say, if you pretend to be his girlfriend before the world, on social media, it will help Jungkookie in defying possible criticism and hatred.” Seokjin explains calmly. 
However, you are anything but calm. 
Whatever criticism Jeon Jungkook faces, it is simply his own problem. You have nothing to do with it. What is your benefit by being involved with him? 
As if reading your mind Seokjin now states, “in return, Jungkookie will sign an exclusive deal with your company for not only one but any kind of future collaboration your company wants with him, that too, at a discounted price.” he winks at you. 
Your jaw hits the floor. 
“Hyung! What the fuck! Where is this discount coming from?” Jungkook finally opens his mouth for the first time. 
“Cool. I’m in.” you reply in a heartbeat. Jimin clutches your wrist under the table. 
“Y/N! Aren’t you even going to think?” he whisper-yells in your ear. 
“There is nothing to think about. This is a very good deal, Jiminie. I will be hard-pressed to let such an opportunity go.” you whisper back. 
“But-” 
“I knew you would be an intelligent one” Seokjin cuts off your friend with a cherry tone, “I look forward to working with you” he extends his hand, you take in him with a shake. The shit-eating grin is lighting up your face. 
Jungkook sits there throwing daggers at you with his eyes. 
Tumblr media
“It’s all because of you! You fucked things up!” Jungkook’s loud voice invades the serenity you were enjoying while waiting for Jimin to show up with his car. 
You turn your head in astonishment and give him wide eyes, “My ears must have gone cold. You are saying thanks and I am hearing something completely different.” 
“No! You are hearing it right, I said you fucked things up. Only if you didn’t show up at the club-”
“Then people would be dragging you down in twitter and instagram for fucking a school bully on camera.” you finish the sentence for him. 
Jungkook clicks his tongue and the smirks, “you know what? I can see how bad you are down for me. Is this all a part of your plan?” 
You smirk back, folding your hand in front of your chest, “FYI, your manager reached out to me to help you out. I am doing you a favor and you are returning it. Got it?” 
“Again.. Again that nasty attitude of yours.” Jungkook steps towards you, “you know what… I kinda like it.” 
He breathes directly on your face. 
The puff of his breath lands on the apple of your cheeks making a blush creep up without your notice.
“Make sure you save my number, girlfriend. See you tomorrow.” he leans down and whispers the last words in your ears and then disappears inside the parking lot. 
You stand there, catching your breath and questioning your decision for the first time since the proposition landed on your lap. 
But wait? What does he mean by ‘see you tomorrow’? 
Tumblr media
Somebody must have pressed a replay button on the cassette of your life. 
If not then it’s certainly a deja vu, because the scene that’s unfolding is exactly the same as what happened last week. 
You are sitting inside the conference room, with Yoongi and Mrs. Lee and there is Jeon Jungkook sitting right across from you. 
The only thing that seems changed today is his attitude - which is a little more tamed. 
And oh… your clothes too. 
“This is so nice of you to come forward and ask for a meeting after whatever happened last time.” Mrs. Lee speaks in a sickeningly sweet tone. You wanna roll your eyes but decide against it. 
“Ah. no no. Miss Y/N is really competent at what she does. The credit goes to her. Even though things went south for the first time, we figured out that we actually are very compatible and working together will be beneficial for both of us. Right?” Jungkook directs his question towards you. 
“Uh- yeah. Hahahaha. Yeah.” you honestly don’t know what to reply. He is obviously faking it and you need to fake it too but Yoongi is sitting right beside you and he is staring at you and you are on the verge of losing your sanity. 
“I’m sorry if I am overstepping any boundaries but I can’t help being curious if the rumors are true?” Yoongi barges in. He looks at you and then Jungkook, expecting an answer or a reaction. 
Before you can say something - something you don’t even know what, Jungkook decides to answer. 
“Only time will tell.” he smiles at Yoongi. 
Tumblr media
The amount of weird glances you are receiving from your colleagues is astronomical. 
For most of them it’s just eyeing you up and down and for some of the brave ones, it’s throwing impromptu comments like “oh, Y/N is a celeb now.” 
You want to punch them on their faces. 
Nevertheless, you don’t want a new trouble right when you manage to fight one crisis in exchange for your name and relationship status. 
You scroll through company social media accounts and start planning for all the new content that’s going to drop as soon as Jungkook’s done with the photoshoot. 
Your phone chimes with a notification. When take it in your hand to see it’s a text from the devil himself: 
“In front of the parking lot. Come in five minutes.” 
Your eyes close in frustration. You haven’t even stepped into the deal properly and he has started ordering you already. 
But what can you even do, you dug your own grave after all. 
It takes you seven minutes to reach the parking lot - obviously because you work on the sixteenth floor and the elevators don’t run on your will. 
When you find Jungkook waiting for you at the mentioned location with his bike, you find him kind of intriguing. 
It’s been long, embarrassingly long, since you have had a guy waiting for you. Even though you know it’s fake. You can turn blind eye for a moment and let yourself believe otherwise. 
“You are late.” he says with a pout. 
You lose your sanity only a little. 
“Sorry. The elevator didn’t listen to me when I asked it to run fast.” you reply. 
“Haha. very funny.” he replies animatedly then reaches for his backpack and plucks out a document folder. 
“What is this?” you question naturally. 
“The dating contract for our fake relationship.” he shrugs, extending the folder towards you, “Hyung asked you to go through it meticulously. You can add or reduce any term you don’t see fit. We will finalize it and announce our fake relationship officially once you are done. You have time till Friday.” he recites flatly, “also, you can’t tell anyone just yet. Got it?” 
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever-”
“Y/N?” someone calls you and it’s not Jungkook. 
You whip your head to see Yoongi is standing a few feets away inside the parking space with keys in his hand. 
Your stomach feels funny at his unreadable expression. 
And then you feel a pair or lips pressing down on your cheeks. 
Jungkook kisses you before parting and saying, “Hasta la vista, baby”  
You freeze at your stop. You can see Yoongi’s eyes narrowing on you. Jungkook hops on his bike and leaves within a moment. 
You stand there, staring apologetically at the man you like and he sports an expression you can’t comprehend. 
“So.. the rumors were true, huh?” Yoongi finally voices after what feels like an eternity. 
“No- I-” also, you can’t tell anyone just yet. Got it? Jungkook’s words reel inside your head, “yes” you lie, crossing your fingers behind you. 
“Congratulations” Yoongi greets before flashing his gummy smile at you and then leaving you there to look for his car. 
“You really don’t care, do you?” you ask him. Even though you know he can’t hear you. There is a mixture of different emotions inside your gut and you are way too tired to name any of those.
Tumblr media
@phenomenalgirl9 @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @chimmisbae @i-have-no-life-charlie @mikrokookiex @jjk174 @lallataegi @savageyoongi @jwnghyuns @parapiop7 @futuristicenemychaos @armystay89 @ryryvna @purple-realms
read the full series right away on Patreon!! (Start from part 4)
Permanent Taglist:
Requested taglist:
@mageprincess7 @taekrve @ttanniett @elinaki92 @mysteriousgeminizone
135 notes · View notes
Note
This is interesting commentary, but:
"Despite the exact opposite being the typical fandom perception, early on we learn that Sam tends to define a monster by their features/abilities, while Dean defines a monster by their actions."
I agree that early on Sam tends to think abilities = Monster = Bad, but so does Dean. I also agree that how Sam feels about Monsters/people with an abilities does relate to where he is at in his own personal "freak" journey. However, I don’t agree with the idea that Dean has a nuanced criteria for killing early on. To me, it seems more like early Dean sees ALL monsters as bad, AND humans who behave monstrously are ALSO bad.
(As I am just jumping on a post that came across my dash, I’ll put the rest under the cut. So don’t read on if you aren’t interested my expanding on my take. And no hard feelings if you aren’t.).
It isn’t until after "Bloodlust" in Season 2 that Dean even considers the possibility that a monster might not always be bad. Sam is the one who says, "if they aren’t killing anyone, then they aren’t evil." Dean would have killed the vampires without a second thought if Sam hadn’t stopped him (at first). Dean is shaken at the idea that he might have killed monsters who hadn’t deserved to die, which suggests he hadn’t used any criterion to determine what makes someone a monster other than them being "a literal monster" to justify killing until this episode. Also, Max has powers, which I think Dean basically acquaints with being a monster or monster-adjacent. He’s more inclined than Sam to give Andy the benefit of the doubt, but this is after "Bloodlust," and it’s because if he considers Andy a monster for having mental powers, then he might have to consider the fact that he might have to kill Sam (like John warned him) because of his abilities, too. Dean is terrified when Sam starts having abilities that he will become a monster, despite saying he doesn’t believe Sam could go bad and won’t let that happen.
Also, in "The Benders," the family is hideously monstrous, but other than fighting in self-defense and to save each other, both Sam and Dean seem uneasy with the idea that the cop killed the human man who killed her brother once he’d been disarmed. It seems here that both brothers still have some hang-ups on killing even evil humans.
Also, fandom tends to aquate Sam with being the one who usually has more empathy for monsters, or the one less likely to kill somone just because they are a monster … because it’s been shown over and over. His mantra practically became, "it’s not who you are, it’s what you do that matters." Though, it is a lesson he learns after a ton of hardship. In "The Purge," Dean wants to kill the "Fish Taco" who has killed and harmed no one because her brother was a killer. He also is upset that Sam wants them to be "all business" and not family at this time, so one could even argue that Deans empathy comes from his relationship with Sam (he also has the mark here, already, I know).
Also, Sam trusted Ruby, or semi-trusted her, as early as Season 3. He was proven wrong for trusting her even though she helped them countless times, and pulled him back from committing suicide. With Benny, he sees another monster who helped support and save a Winchester, and who appears to be trustworthy … but what if he isn’t? Sam was wrong to trust Ruby, so there is the worry that maybe Dean is also wrong to trust Benny. Add this to Dean killing Amy and Dean literally saying Benny has never let him down (implying Sam has, thus he’s a better brother than Sam), and that’s why Sam hated Benny.
Aneyay, I think who the brothers see as monsters, and whether the person/monster is should be trusted, worthy of mercy or not, often depends more on what they are projecting about themselves or their brother and less on having a set criteria for whether people should be considered monsters or desrve killing.
omg i just finished your emma vs amy takes and the subsequent discourse about it (which was so refreshing to see btw!! love it when adults can be Adults and argue about the topic without insulting the other person) and I might get fried for this but that incident aside, do you have any other scene/episode in mind where sam reacts the same way or does the same thing?
(im sorry if this isn't your cup of tea for asks! your takes have been Enlightening)
You mean another situation where Sam shoots a person with supernatural abilities who hasn't shed blood and has a sympathetic backstory without giving them a chance? Not as overtly—Benny in season 8's "Citizen Fang" certainly comes to mind, but even Benny, Sam at least made a show of giving a chance by assigning Martin to keep tabs on him and make sure he didn't do anything wrong before trying to kill him. (Though whether there was conscious or subconscious sabotage involved when Sam chose Martin specifically—someone he knew to be mentally unstable—is certainly a good question given Sam had already made death threats about Benny before then.)
The fact that Sam's behavior in 7.13 "Slice Girls" is pretty unique is really what I want to point out about this episode in the first place—that Sam's actions in "Slice Girls" are inconsistent with his previous behavior and future behavior as far as "good" monster episodes. We can turn to examples such as:
1.14 where Sam insists they try and talk Max down instead of killing him, because Max's murders are a result of extensive abuse.
Lenore and her nest in SPN's seminal "monsters can be good" episode (2.03)
Sam thinking Andy is responsible for the killings in 2.05 but still waiting for proof before acting.
2.09 where Sam insists they not kill someone they think might be infected with Croatoan virus before he turns and tries to kill them because that doesn't give him a chance.
Two episodes where Sam faces off against Gordon because Gordon wants to kill him before Sam kills someone (2.10, 3.07)
2.17 where Sam and Dean search for a cure for Madison, who is not aware that she has been killing people.
4.04 Metamorphosis where Sam is the one who takes the initiative to research Rugarus, learns that they can survive without giving into their urges, and insist they go and talk to him about how his body is changing (lol) so he has the chance to fight the urge to kill and eat people.
5.06 where Sam and Dean oppose Cas who wants to kill Jesse, who is a child who is not aware that he has powers and is hurting people.
6.02 where Sam, even soulless, recognizes the innocence of a shifter baby.
Then we have Amy and Emma in 7.03 and 7.13 respectively.
8.04 where the brothers let Kate the Werewolf go because she was turned against her will and killed the man who turned her in self-defense.
8.09 Citizen Fang (already discussed)
I'm getting lazy but then we also have Magda and Jack Kline—both children with powers, one severely abused, the other the son of the devil with uncontrolled explosive powers that could end the world, both of whom Sam attempts to help work with their abilities.
Dean has a more structured series of personal "rules"—a litmus test we see from the very beginning—one Sam often follows as well, but I'm not sure Sam ever really fully grasps that Dean thinks this way.
Has this person hurt or killed anyone?
Was it on purpose or was it outside of their awareness?
If it wasn't on purpose, are they capable of learning to control their urges?
We see this code as early as 1.12 "Faith":
SAM Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy. DEAN Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book. SAM No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is.
Dean applies the same reasoning in 1.14 with Max:
SAM These visions, this whole time -- I wasn't connecting to the Millers, I was connecting to Max! The thing is I don't get why, man. I guess -- because we're so alike? DEAN What are you talking about. The dude's nothing like you. SAM Well. We both have psychic abilities, we both... DEAN Both what? Sam, Max is a monster, he's already killed two people, now he's gunning for a third.
Despite the exact opposite being the typical fandom perception, early on we learn that Sam tends to define a monster by their features/abilities, while Dean defines a monster by their actions. We see the same with Amy—she is "a monster who killed four people" (7.07) . She isn't a monster because of what she is but because of what she did. This again—is also why Dean doesn't even consider killing her son right after her kid swears to kill him one day. We see Dean, in the rare cases where it comes up, is also perfectly fine with taking out human serial killers they stumble across (ex: Thin Man).
Sam will also kill a human serial killer at times (and murderous witches by 3.09), but he reserves the word "monster" to describe individuals with supernatural features/abilities... and I think the fact that Sam's definition of the term differs from Dean's is something neither brother ever fully realizes about the other, leading at several points to arguments where they are talking past each other and do not understand one another. Sam hears "monster" and thinks "Dean is talking about me", when Dean is operating under a completely different definition of the term that is based on the actions of a person.
When Sam is in a headspace where he is thinking of himself as one of those monsters, he shows increased or lessened sympathy in turns. For example, he assumes Andy's guilt in 2.05 because he is panicked about becoming evil himself and is comparing the two of them (but again—still waits for confirmation) but his sympathy for Max in 1.14 comes from the same comparison with himself. Sam completely misrepresents Amy in 7.03 as an addict who relapsed but more generally is "managing", as a way to compare her with himself... when Amy didn't feed on anyone herself and her actions have absolutely nothing to do with addiction or battling "monstrous urges".
I've been bitching and moaning a lot, but I will reemphasize that there is a more sympathetic reason that Sam shoots Emma—Sam and Dean are both crowding up to the diving board at the deep end of the pool in season 7. Dean's grieving and is drinking extremely heavily to cope and Sam is hallucinating. They are both unraveling at the seams. Neither of them is in a place where they trust the other's judgement because they both know themselves and each other to be unstable. So if we imagine a reality where Sam and Dean give Emma a chance, and it doesn't take, Sam assesses himself and Dean to be in no mental state to cope with a potential surprise attack. It's just that Sam also erroneously compares Amy and Emma when they are not the same, and by doing so, frames Dean wanting to spare Emma but killing Amy as hypocrisy (because they are both "monsters") when Dean's actions are perfectly consistent with his personal ethical code and his definition of a "monster"... and Sam's actions aren't.
173 notes · View notes
viperify · 1 day ago
Text
Smutmas 2024 | ᴛᴏᴍ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ X ᴍᴜɢɢʟᴇʙᴏʀɴ ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
Celebrating Her.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Short summary: after spoiling you the entire day, Tom makes sure your special day ends in a blast.
Warnings: 18+ only! nipple play, fingering, slight degradation, choking, rough sex, unprotected p in v, ooc Tom but it’s okay because it’s my birthday.
A/N: leaving my teenage years behind. Today’s been super stressy, but I am happy to finally have time to post my birthday fic!!! Also happy birthday to my birthday twin, Severus Snape 🫶🏻
wordcount: 2,2k
celebrating him.
Tumblr media
London. He has taken you to London. To your favourite restaurant to be exact, one that you have not visited ever since you moved to the wizarding world. Tom wasn’t the person to go to the muggle world, not if he didn’t have to at that. Too many bad memories have been made there, especially back in his orphanage days. So, for obvious reasons, you were surprised when he told you where you were headed to.
The clock strikes 9pm when he waves a waiter over and takes the courtesy to pay. Not that he would let you pay anyway, especially on your birthday, but you are still grateful. You feel people’s gaze on you as you both get up, your burgundy, crystal plated dress easily catching people’s attention as you stand out from the crowd on this seemingly so ordinary day. Ordinary for them, anyway.
Your eyes meet Tom’s, who is matching your attire with a black suit. The corner of his lips tugs up just the slightest bit at the attention you are receiving, and his arm wraps possessively around your waist. “Ready to leave?” he asks smoothly, and you nod, following him towards the exit.
However, he doesn’t take you back home like you had expected. No, instead, you are strolling through the city, finding your way through the crowd of people waiting to get home after another long Thursday. There are entire queues waiting for taxis, and suddenly you don’t miss your former, “normal” life in the slightest. London’s always been loud and busy, so when you received your letter for Hogwarts and got to know the most magical, hidden place in the Highlands of Scotland—you wish you could have lived there since your birth.
Being a muggle born isn’t easy. It’s come with its challenges, especially back in your first year at Hogwarts. It took time for you to find friends, to adjust to the change. And God, you missed your parents. Then, being exposed to all the hatred and bullying muggle borns had to endure definitely didn’t make it any better. Especially if you end up falling for your tormentor.
Being in love with Tom Riddle as a muggle born isn’t easy. But you two had somehow—after years of bickering and rivalry—made it work. It wasn’t until your seventh year that you got closer and essentially ended up being a couple. And no, you couldn’t believe it either. Not in your wildest dreams would you have thought the day would come that your strongest feeling for Tom would be love.
It’s always been hate, after all.
It was subtle at first, from stealing glances in classes to blatantly staring at each other, to��well. Him cornering you when you exited the girl's lavatory, whispering a soft “What are you doing to me?” as he leaned in. And before you could react, his lips were on yours, capturing you in a heartfelt kiss, pouring his feelings into it like he had to prove they really existed—firstly to you, but himself as well. Even when, in the end, of course you did love him too.
Tom’s love often is rough, distant. But you make it work, and when he does soften up—it’s like a plant sipping its first drop of water after an agonizingly long drought. You relish in it, your dynamics making you a perfect match for each other. And just like that, the boy you once hated with every cell in your body turned into your lover you wouldn’t even think about letting go.
That’s how you ended up spending your 20th birthday in London. Away from the wizarding world for once, back in your home city. You almost couldn’t believe when he apparated you both to the restaurant your parents used to take you to for birthdays. Tom Riddle, organizing a birthday dinner in the muggle world. A subtle smile brightens up your face at the thought. He leads you through the crowd, arms still around your waist. It’s not until he stops that you realize where you are headed.
One of the finest hotels in all of London, if you may. And he doesn’t just stop in front of it, no, you enter. Tom doesn’t respond when you ask him what you are doing here, instead withdraws a card from his pocket and leads you up the marble stairs. The setting feels special, too special to be true. It’s silent besides the clicking of your heels as you ascend the stairs, a chandelier dimly illuminating the hallway. There is no one around, no receptionist, no other guests. It seems as though you two are there alone, the property reserved for solely you two.
It’s not long until you arrive at door 464. As soon as he opens it, a smell of roses and lit candles floods your senses. The room, kept in an elegant vintage style, is illuminated by candles, the high ceilings decorated with baroque carvings. With you trying to take in the magic of the room, you don’t realize Tom stepping further into the room. Only when you hear muffled voices, followed by soft strains of classical music, your eyes flicker to where he is standing—adjusting a modern radio.
“Tom Riddle using a muggle device? This might be my best birthday present yet.” you snicker, walking towards the brunette. It’s then when he turns around, his deep brown eyes meeting yours.
“First and last time.” he answers, his voice low as his hands settle on your waist. Leaning in, he places a soft kiss on your lips. Without another word, Tom’s left hand intertwines with your right, the subtle notes of a violin and a piano resonating through the room as he guides you into a slow dance.
You can’t help but wonder how he’d learned to do that. At the two yule balls you experienced, he had never asked anyone for a dance. As you sway to the gentle tones, a memory plays in your head, taking you back four years to your 5th year at Hogwarts.
Being asked for a dance by one of the most popular boys in Gryffindor had its perks—you had been the center of attention the entire evening. Many people asked you for a dance, complimenting your looks as they took in your sapphire blue dress, adorned with tiny crystals.
In a brief moment of solitude, your eyes swayed around the hall, just for you to lock eyes with Tom. Merely a split second later, he averted his gaze, though the intensity of his eyes on yours lingered—and for the rest of the night, no one else asked you to dance again.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks you, and you are forced out of your thoughts, returning to the present. The dim candlelight casts a shadow on his sharp features, and you once again get lost in his eyes.
“Was it you? Back then, at the ball?” you murmur, a slight smirk playing at the corner of his lips at the question, and it’s almost as if you could see the memory replaying in his eyes.
“Nobody touches what is mine, darling.” Tom replies, and there is this familiar possessiveness in his voice, the one that you have grown to love. Another kiss later and he is tugging at your zipper as he leans in, his hot breath on the tender skin of your neck sending a shiver down your spine. “Let me take care of you now, just like you deserve.”
You don’t complain as he is leading you towards the bed, dress long discarded on the floor. Tom’s hand wanders, slipping under the waistband of your lace underwear as he settles down beside you. Finding your swollen bundle of nerves, the pad of his thumb rubs tight circles on it, having you take a sharp inhale at the sensation.
His other hand frees your breasts, pushing the dainty material of your bra to the side. His eyes wander up and down your almost entirely exposed form, muttering praises under his breath before he lowers his head to trail gentle kisses from your collarbone to your breast, gently wrapping his lips around the hardened peak.
“Oh— oh Merlin, Tom—“
His tongue flicks over the sensitive skin, drawing small whimpers and moans from you as your fingers thread through his silky brunette hair. You tug on it slightly, massaging his scalp as he continues his ministrations, nibbling and kissing your skin.
Your fingers dig into the sheets, firmly clenching around the fabric as two of his digits slip inside of your tight heat. “So wet for me,” he groans lowly, moving at an agonizingly slow pace as the heel of his hand rubs on your clit with every thrust of his hand. The sensations he is providing you with, fingertips massaging the one spot inside of you that has you grow dizzy with pleasure, the coil in your stomach winds tighter and tighter, and you are just there on the edge when—
“No, no please! I want to— want you to—“ you gasp, hand closing around his wrist, attempting to still his movements. His dark eyes lock with yours then, and he stops. “Use your words, sweetheart. What is it that you want?”
“Want you inside of me, please.” you murmur, and his lips curl into a knowing smirk at your words, shaking his head just slightly. He withdraws his fingers then, a small whimper falling over your lips at the loss. It doesn’t take long until he has undressed himself, parting your thighs before he positions himself between them, hovering over you.
“I really wanted to be nice to you today, darling.” he remarks, though his tip nudging at your entrance has all sane thoughts leave your mind at an instant.
“Merlin— you know I don’t want you to be. Please don’t be nice.”
Tom’s hand snakes around your throat at your response, mumbling something inaudible under his breath as he presses down on the sides of your throat, slowly splitting you apart on his hard length as you both groan. “This better? Want to be fucked like a whore even on your birthday?”
All you manage is a nod before he buries himself inside of you completely, not letting you adjust before he sets a harsh rhythm, his eyes darting down to his cock disappearing in your heat. Tom’s lips part slightly at the sight, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat.
The classical music playing in the background is a stark contrast to how he is fucking you, hips snapping into yours from an angle that has you see stars, your nails digging into his toned shoulders, sure to leave behind crescent marks.
“So— good!” you cry out, hands holding onto his biceps as he thrusts into you from above, the sound of your combined moans echoing around the hotel room. It’s not long until your pleasure is building again, eyes rolling to the back of your head as his tip brushes against your sensitive cervix.
“Eyes on me, darling. Let me see how good I am making you feel. Let me see you come,” he demands, hand squeezing down tighter on your throat. You do as he says, eyes fluttering open just for you to meet his stern expression, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as his brunette curls stick to his damp forehead. His gaze burns into yours, the limited blood flow making you feel just slightly lightheaded, intensifying the feeling of his length slipping in and out of your sensitive walls.
You’re right at the edge, your cunt greedily clenching down on his thick cock. Tom seems to notice, his free hand reaching between you two, softly swiping over your needy clit with the pad of his thumb. “Tom— please!” you cry out, and he lowers his head, resting it in the crook of your neck. “Go on. Come for me,” he groans, and that is all you need to finally tumble over the edge, the intense feeling in your lower stomach leaving you a trembling and whimpering mess beneath him. Tom follows soon after, emptying himself deep inside of your warm, welcoming walls with a low grunt.
He collapses on top of you to catch his breath, though soon after pulling out of you, getting up to fetch a warm, damp towel to clean you up. It’s not long until he scoops you up in his arms, entering the bathroom where an already filled bathtub awaits you, lowering your spent body into the pleasantly warm water. He soon gets in as well, massaging circles into your shoulders as your head rests on his chest. It’s mostly quiet between you two, savouring the moment of intimacy you only rarely get to experience with him.
Before you drift off to sleep, he places a tender kiss on your head.
“Happy Birthday, love.”
Tumblr media
93 notes · View notes
yuzuvrse · 10 hours ago
Note
Can we have some of ur mouthwashing headcanons for the tulpar crew? (Can be about anything btw) The brain worms are getting hungry again I fear… 😞
-ig ill be 🪷 anon if it’s not taken yet?
HELLOOO BABYYYY sorry this took so long i was dying bc of my finals </3 but anyways welcome 🪷 anon to the family!!!!!! these hcs ended up so unserious LOL
the crew got banned from playing uno after anya nearly flipped the table when daisuke put down like five +4 cards in a row now they just stick to sorry!
swansea hums to himself when he's working, it's usually like old songs but recently daisuke's pop songs have been getting stuck in his head. (i think it would be unbelievably funny if swansea starts singing like the brainrot versions of songs js bc daisuke keeps playing them. yk like the 'oh the weather outside is rizzy, and the fire is so skibidi' LMAOSKJDSK
daisuke doesn't really have a specific music taste, he listens to a mix of everything. doesn't know how to answer when people ask him what his fave genre is so he tries to act cool and says he only listens to rap music.
anya had a wattpad phase. i can't explain further i can just FEEL it.
curly is actually a decent dancer. his mom sent him for dance classes as a kid and he has a good sense of rhythm. jimmy makes fun of him for this though so he doesn't ever mention it.
jimmy has rewatched american psycho probably more than 117 times. he watches it and he's like:
Tumblr media
(i am currently watching + reading it for the first time and patrick bateman is literally jimmy to me.) more content utc!
anya is terrible in the kitchen. like seriously do Not let her in there or the house will burn down just from her boiling water or smth. it's okay tho i will be her housewife <3 (i can't cook either) she is also very good at tetris for some reason. she's a little forgetful so she usually writes things that she needs to remember on the back of her hands but by the end of the day they're all smudged smh. but also she always has perfect nails!
curly is one of those guys who's just naturally good at things. yk when people are like 'oh yeah i never practice' and it pisses you off? he's one of those guys. ik ppl say he's british but he's so american to me??? he was definitely the jock in highschool that every girl crushed on but he never even realised.
swansea is a dog person. he's chill w cats but he definitely prefers dogs. he likes how loyal they are, and i can see him having a massive dog like a st bernard at home waiting for him. but if his kids ever brought back a kitten or smth he'd be the one to be all 'you guys better take care of it bc i won't' but then you see him becoming besties with the cat LOL.
daisuke LOVES the beach. literally a water baby. he's very good at surfing, and always ends up with a tan that makes him look even more handsome bc it compliments his dyed hair so nicely. i think that he grew up in a big family w lots of cousins around where he would be one of the older kids, so he's very good w children as well. he somehow knows the best way to entertain them and keep them out of trouble. (primary school art teacher daisuke are you guys seeing my vision?!?!?!)
jimmy gets nightmares and thus has difficulty sleeping. he lies whenever curly asks him about it but those dark circles say otherwise. this might be random but i also think he's good at singing. in another world he could have been a sleazy rockstar but instead he went to space. are u guys seeing the visual of jimmy laying back in bed strumming his banged-up electric guitar... i hate this mf.
anyways that's all for now! i had a lot of fun w these hehe <3 hope you liked them!
30 notes · View notes
ensemblesongs · 1 day ago
Note
I gotta say I’m really disappointed that you have decided to partake in this ridiculous boycott that is built on lack of research and racism. I can’t find it in myself to support someone who openly supports hate towards the Ryukyuan people and Japanese people. I wish you the best in real life but I strongly urge you to do proper research before blindly following the wolves in sheep’s clothing who pretend to care about racial discrimination.
I understand why you might feel this way. I'm sure that there are misguided people amongst the bunch, or people who are only participating in a performative way. But what Happy Elements has done felt malicious and hurt me and many others with their lack of consideration for long-term fans, and most importantly, their lack of sensitivity. Do you not see the issues in how this narrative is being handled...? I'm uncertain on what you mean by hate towards Japanese people. Addressing the country's past, and the company's failures, is not hating on an entire ethnic group. Maybe you've seen things on social media that I haven't. If you'd like, you can give me more of your perspective to enlighten me. The plea for me to research is also a little vague...💦
Real-life Ryukyuan (and Ainu, who are not the same, but have shared a similar pain), and other indigenous people have expressed support of this boycott, what about their perspective? Does it not matter? They don't speak for every single one, but I think it's worth taking into consideration, nonetheless. I'm not blindly following anyone, even if there are people that I trust more than I trust myself when it comes to knowledge on certain topics because they know more than I do, I have tried to do my own research, too — and I know that Ibuki's story is reflective of that of the experience of many real Ryukyuan people, a choice that they make themselves. I have a more hopeful view about this situation than most. Still, I do not trust Happy Elements with this decision due to their history of actual racism and failure to address these subjects with the necessary care, though I see their attempts to in stories like Matrix. (Which is a story I don't hate nearly as much as the average person does and don't see as OOC, either, and only really found problems with the Takashi subplot being unnecessary and the village's plot-twist. The wave of hate over a story most didn't even read themselves was quite peculiar. This is different.)
There is a clear bias in the writing room as seen in many other stories, even when it isn't hatred there is a feeling that there's more fascination towards the subject of racial minorities than care, and this was the final straw for many fans. I don't think it's wrong for Rinne to be written to have internalized racism, even if it's being written by Japanese authors. Similarly, I am not upset at the concept of Ibuki being involved with AKATSUKI. I was actually excited at the prospect of them interacting more, I'm more so upset at the execution and the imperialist undertones which are all too expected from a careless company like they have been for years. Not just that, but even if it wasn't racist, the desecration of AKATSUKI, a group that has been there since the beginning, with an utterly mischaracterized story that dumbs them down to their past selves and breaks promises the real Keito had made, and how HE continues to puppet their mangled corpses around for all to see, and the hatred Ibuki and possibly Chiaki Kobayashi will have to face because of this decision, one they knew no one would like, would remain. Not to mention, their audacity in trying to make the audience feel bad for disagreeing with this, making the characters say things along the lines of, "I'm sure fans will be upset".
I'm someone who loves Ansta. Deeply. I never aligned with people who hate it while being into it and always tried to have hope. So, I take my criticism of it seriously. When it comes to my activity on here, I'm doing the same I have for years, and I just thought people who are participating, and mean well, would benefit from what I post. I appreciate your kind wishes and I wish you well, too. Thank you for having supported Ensemble Songs.
20 notes · View notes
mirikitakato · 3 days ago
Text
[Translation] Anan 12/2024 Issue: Mahoyaku Interview with Tsushimi Bunta and Kazuma Kowo
Tumblr media
This is the short Interview with Tsushimi Bunta (Main Screenwriter) and Kazuma Kowo (Worldbuilding Supervision), released to celebrate the 5th Anniversary.
Interviewer: Congratulations on the 5th anniversary of "Mahoyaku". As you continued writing, have your messages you wanted to convey through Mahoyaku changed?
Tsushimi & Kazuma: The fundamental message hasn't changed, but we feel that the way it's conveyed to people around the world has. For example, from a youthful, hopeful message of listening to everyone's voices, like Arthur, and a world that is tolerant and positive towards others, it's shifted towards a more fatigued Figaro-like feeling where there's an overload of such messages that people are tired of being considerate and tolerant. We're feeling a sense of "For Myself" like Mithra or Owen. The message Mahoyaku sends doesn't change, but we need to change the way we address Arthur compared to Figaro or Mithra.
Interviewer: As the story progressed, were there any wizards whose character changed or exceeded your expectations? Also, Arthur and Murr have graced the cover of the special edition. Are there any wizards who would be interested in a magazine like "Anan"?
Tsushimi & Kazuma: We have never talked about this, but if we continued to portray scary characters like Oz, Mithra, Owen, and Bradley as scary, it might disrupt the balance with other characters or invite hate, so we needed to reveal their cute sides early on. If there was only one main character, we could have revealed it slowly, but to depict the cohabitation of two main characters, we needed to reveal each character's gap early on, and I think the gap was established faster compared to the normal narrative speed. I think Chloe would probably like "Anan"!
Interviewer: In Mahoyaku, there are many attractive sub-characters besides the wizards and the player. Are there any sub-characters that left an impression on you or are your favorites?
Tsushimi: Personally, I like Olivia, also Eva-sama and Sophie from the main story part 2. I'm looking forward to the day when the Mahoyaku illustration team draws them. Also, Colin's cuteness and quietness in the Etude of Frog made me feel sad but not empty. I think he swayed my preferences a bit. Also, I was happy that Dianne, who appeared as a mysterious and problematic castle lord in the 4th anniversary event, was eventually accepted with empathy and a watchful eye.
Kazuma: Who impressed me, huh...I am undecided on the names until the very end, so I will choose all the five witches in part 1.5, who are memorable. My favorites are the previous Sage, Aureolin and Scarlett from part 1.5, Zara-sama and Gill who appeared from part 2, and Eva-sama.
Interviewer: Arthur and Murr appeared in this illustration. What kind of relationship do they have?
Tsushimi & Kazuma: They are the faces of the story. Both have curiosity, a spirit of adventure, and intelligence, and they are positive about things they want to know, interesting things, and journeys, as well as having an overarching view of the masses and unwavering devotion and loyalty to those they live with. Seeing those commonalities, I think they might eventually become a pair who get along very well and might cause a lot of trouble. I think they have respect and care for each other, but also keep a moderate distance between themselves.
Interviewer: Finally, what would you like to say to the wizards and the Sage who have been working hard to walk through the story filled with various events?
Tsushimi: Sage, wizards, and all the other characters are always working hard, either to solve problems or to protect their own identities, and I'm very grateful for that. Thank you! It's still too early to say “thank you for your hard work”, so I hope you can continue to support everyone!
Kazuma: To Sage - Even coming to an unfamiliar world, I respect your positivity in taking a positive view of your environment and life, and your compassion and communication skills that allow you to step into the wizards’ minds. To wizards - You're really cool when you're battling, so I hope you'll continue to train your mind and body and wait for your turn to shine. I hope you will continue to do your best even though there may be difficult times.
20 notes · View notes
mental-mouthful · 3 days ago
Note
Hickey for the character asks pls? 👉👈
ohohoho! lovey suggestion !! i am always down to talk about a fellow ratt, so yes of course!
First Impression: IS THAT FUCKING HICKEY?? THE FERRET FACED FUCK I HATED WITH MY WHOLE BEING? THAT'S HIM? THEY MADE HIM A FUCKING TWINK???? People better not be fucking woobifying him i swear to god...
Impression Now: ohh noo. oh no my worst fear has come to life... i like hickeyyyy i like him a lotttt. i feel like this is how billy feels just "oh god. oh god is this working for me? son of a bitch it's working" On a real note though, he is sooo fascinating to me. He's a lot more genuine than i think people give him credit for. He's just so paranoid and has been taught to be so self-sufficient that it overrides any actual connection he might make with people. When given the chance to help, he does so, even if it is often tied to making himself look good. He didn't have to help Manson and Hartnell take Hornby's body down. He could've just cut in to undermine Irving and left it at that. He didn't have to grave rob to propose to Billy. He could've left everyone to burn in the carnival. (The fact he gutted McDonald do so and only looked as upset as "you fucking idiot, you stained my knife"... well that's just the other half of his personality showing) But he does all that. bc he does care. in his own twisted, detached way. Adam Nagaitas said something to this tune in an interview and its like. yeah!! he does care!! ...he just cares about getting himself on top (👀) more than any of that.
Favorite Moment: Goddddd what a hard question. Is it bugger victoria? (shout out fitzjamesbulletwound) Is it ratt wedding? (his smile is so sweet) is it his speech at the gallows? ("BUT ABANDONING HIS SHIP!!! SHOULD NOT BE AMONG THEMMM ☝️") i could be predictable and say its him taking his lashing like a fucking champ. his cheeky fucking smile throughout really encapsulates his "fuck you, I'll endure just to spite you" attitude. No it's not any of that. It's his casual smoke after he and billy get caught. it's really indicative of his personality and the unshakable force he'll be in the narrative. "there's worse things than being lashed ;)"
Idea for a Story: would loveeee to do a deep dive into his past. even if leaving it a mystery is more compelling, I'd really like to see what kinda menace he is on the streets of england.
Unpopular Opinion: that he actually doesn't want to eat people. he wasn't going into this with the hope that they'd turn cannibal. the situation had just gotten so dire and his lead poisoning and/or god compex had corroded his brain so bad he probably thought it made him an apex predator.
Favorite Relationship: He's got so many delicious dynamics to choose from but I think I'll go Crozier. He wants to be his friend. He wants to usurp him. He wants to fuck him. He wants to kill and eat him. He doesn't want his men to rough him up. He greatly looks forward to having a chat with him at the end of the world. He chains him to a boat.
Favorite Headcanon: that he plays the piano. and he's not great, but he knows his way around it. and its great fun to play for a crowd of belligerently drunk assholes who dont know the difference.
ANYWAYS THANK U THANK U FOR GIVING ME A REASON TO TALK ABOUT THIS FREAK <3333
22 notes · View notes
fictionadventurer · 2 years ago
Text
To take a more serious tone toward the topic, I think history is best when we approach it without trying to make value judgements. The worst takes are the ones that try to sort people into "good" and "bad" categories, as if there's a certain calculus to determine if a person deserves to be remembered as a hero or a villain. The point shouldn't be to judge, but to understand.
All people have a mix of both good and bad within them. We should figure out who they are as people, what the world around them was like, how they were shaped by experiences and society, and why they made the choices that they did. There are some undeniably black-hearted villains, but most people are a mixture of good actions and bad actions, of pure motives and mistakes, of brilliant insight and just plain dumb blindness that comes from not knowing how history would turn out. Trying to categorize gets in the way of understanding, and often dehumanizes them.
These aren't just figures or statues, they're people--living, breathing human beings who had hopes and dreams and flaws and fears. We can honor their accomplishments while recognizing their mistakes. We should imitate their virtues and avoid their flaws. When we study, we want to classify things in neat boxes, but people are too messy for that. You can like a person and hate their views; you can appreciate someone's accomplishments while hating their personality. You can get so much further with understanding the nuances of history if you can just leave behind the tendency to judge and just get to know these people as they actually were.
123 notes · View notes
kavehater · 6 months ago
Text
Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
8 notes · View notes
theflyingfeeling · 8 months ago
Text
yes it's just me whining about the same thing for the billionth time, pls just scroll past nothing new to see here 👋
#i just want to enjoy the summer but i feel like i don't deserve to if i'm not constantly trying to become employed again 😭#''apply for jobs then? problem solved'' uh-huh yes but!! i also hate applying for jobs#job seeking can be so incredibly humiliating#first i have to send them a letter BEGGING to be invited to an interview#and then i have to try and convince them that i am actually competent and good at my job even though you have my cv right there#and then afterwards they call me to tell me they found someone who they liked better than me#(or rather someone who was more competent than me judging by their work history etc.)#it's like ''yes we are hiring but not YOU specifically lol''#like. at school if you take a test you get the grade you deserve based on how you did in the exam.#it's something you can actually directly affect yourself#but if someone who's applying for the same job with me has more work experience or whatever they will get hired over me no matter what i do#(at least that's how it usually works on my field)#in which case it doesn't matter if i do well in the interview or nah. bc the other person was always going to be picked for the job anyway#and yes one could say i can then be satisfied if i did my best but it's little consolation when i'm still unemployed!!#and so every time i apply for a job and get rejected it feels like a personal failure#and to avoid that feeling of failure i want to avoid applying for jobs altogether#so yeah. being active in job seeking is more likely to relieve me from this misery but job seeking is ALSO misery. so 🤷‍♀️#that on top of the fact i don't even _want_ to apply for all the open positions on my field#but i feel obliged to because it's what i have a degree on. and when i'm unemployed i don't have the luxury to choose which ones i apply fo#i can't afford to be picky#I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR I JUST NEED MONEY TO LIVE BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO DO JUST ANY JOB! I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THAT!#i don't want to come home crying from work every day because i hate every single aspect of my life INCLUDING my job 😭#when this semester i actually HAD a job i didn't mind waking up to every morning 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair#to conclude i don't deserve to enjoy myself in the summer because i'm not doing enough to fix my unemployement situation#(just like i don't deserve to feel sad about being lonely because i don't work hard enough to maintain deep friendships#but that's a crisis for another day! stay tuned ✌️)
9 notes · View notes
iamunabletothinkofablogname · 8 months ago
Text
god fucking damn it
9 notes · View notes
guinevereslancelot · 7 months ago
Text
how do i stop feeling like i'm in trouble all the time fr. sitting here on my lunch break like everyone's gonna be soooo mad when u get back...from lunch...which you are allowed to have.....(?)
#social anxiety kicking my ass so bad every day#unless my supervisor actually says hello you are doing an amazing job today and i dont hate you im like omg she hates me bc i suck......#miscounted the kids yesterday and left one on the playground for like two minutes and im still traumatized#she wasnt alone or anything there was another class w teachers but 😬🔫#killing myself killing myself killing myself#i counted them five times today tho#and the playground was empty which made it easier but ugh#infinitely better than my last job and im actually good at this but i still feel like my supervisor doesn't like me#even tho i think she's just a bit awk and has anxiety also lol#she was reading a book abt coping with anxiety the other day lol#also my other coworker w the drama likes me but the drama is always threatening to happennagain bc she doesnt like our supervisor#anyway#my mentor just got here before lunch for her half day shift so i feel better but aaaaa#way less stressful than my last job tho and im grateful but very stressed lately#also the owner of the school was in the room im taking lunch for a while and im like omg she's gonna be annoyed that im here#she's gonna judge me for having a chocolate bar like a shitty spoiled young person or whatever and listening to music bc im rude#i need to calm down fr#she complained abt lazy inconsiderate young people at my job interview so now im paranoid abt every interaction w her lmao#bc i am a lazy oblivious young person and also i took a sick day my first week which is what she was complaining abt said young people doing#but i legitimately was throwing up i Had to call out#that's life in child care#but ughhhh#i was determined not to bc this is a job where they expect you to come in even if ur sick#but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it#anyway.#normal adult experience#doctor who told my mom i was high functioning i want our money back
7 notes · View notes
arolesbianism · 3 months ago
Text
Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman
#rat rambles#stars posting#I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol#although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl#but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid#and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me#I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good#I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way#this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate#his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze#and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him#<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me#also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif#but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account#although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors#I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of#it dont have to be handwaved#but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle#because on the one hand: acearo character#but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well#I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol#except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self#yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy#she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second#I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years#and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time#I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion
6 notes · View notes
danidoesathing · 1 year ago
Note
am i the only one who feels like alex(the world ender guy) was kind of a missed oportunity in vide noir? like, he was set up by johnnie to be a badass gang leader just for him to never even appear in the end, we just got a close up to his face scar
i feel like buck's encounter with the psychic would've been way more powerful if it was alex instead. its implied that johnnie and moonbeam had a relationship ig, but its barely even hinted at, and he never even mentions her. but with johnnie and alex, johnnie actually mentions him and speaks highly of his brother, and says alex will help buck if he sees the red cloth that belonged to johnnie
the fact that all that build up led to buck not even TALKING to alex kinda irks me. imagine how much better the payoff would be if alex had received the cloth instead of moonbeam? if we had seen his reaction to johnnie's death? if he would've helped buck like johnnie said he would? if we saw what johnnie implied alex would do to the guys who black brained his brother? idk man i think we were robbed
im new to the fanbase, so im gonna be very embarassed if this is a topic that already came up here LOLL but i still wanted to get it off my chest💀sry if this ask is messy, i suck at writing down my thoughts lmao
No I gotta agree on that. Like I LOVED seeing Moonbeam and getting know her as her and having all this new information about her (her being part of the World Enders is still wild to me and I love it) and it’s a good scene and all, but I’m still confused as to why they built up Alex so much, especially since this is the first time we’re hearing about him, and he never even got the chance to speak. If it were Dale I’d be a bit more understanding as we know him already (tho not by much cause I would have loved to see more of Dale). But it’s Alex, whose not only the leader of the World Enders but also Johnnie’s (and Dale’s) brother. I would’ve have loved to, you know, actually meet the guy. Especially with how much build up he got. And I GET IT Lord Huron’s lore is meant to be weird and vague and hard to pin down but like. Didn’t need to tease me like that come on
The only reason I could think of was maybe they needed to get Buck on his own again? Like having this the beginning of a war between the World Enders and Z’Oieasu shown or having Buck work with them consistently might have thrown off the tone. It is supposed to be Buck’s story and his own descent into madness. The whole album has this isolated vibe to me, like being alone in a city of people Hard to get that when there’s other people around, especially a group as lively as the world enders. Or maybe they just wanted to include Moonbeam back into the story again lol
GOD I would have loved to see Moonbeam’s scene with Buck done with Alex. I can only imagine how that scene would’ve played out and his reaction to Johnnie’s death. Contrasting Buck’s scene with Johnnie with Alex’s own personality, the possible dynamics, the anger and grief that could arise…..ough
15 notes · View notes
silverselfshippingchaos · 2 months ago
Text
I fucking HATE how the fandom treats m.ine. it's so bad 😭
#ash rambles 💚#so many shitty takes... too much time on twitter ruins a man#i hear one more person call him a crazy obsessive yandere and i think I'm actually gonna lose it#he's either portrayed like that or as one half of a ship#his actual character is lost on so many people because oOoOOoOOooOoO mInE wAs GaY#i dont doubt that he likes men. it's just that I've seen so many people be weird about it-#also. it's not fucking sexy to wanna kill your partner. a bullet between the eyes isn't an act of love.#I saw a tweet today about how m.ine actually wanted to kill k.iryu because he thought d.aigo liked k.iryu romantically#and m.ine only wants d.aigo to himself. and THAT'S why m.ine wanted to kill k.iryu.#let that sink in. 😐.#i hate how the fandom treats him SO MUCH#i will sit in my corner here. and i will kiss m#m.ine. and we will kiss a lot. and things are good. we are happy. we are far away from all of that.#I'm not saying every fan of his is horrible. I've seen a lot of great stuff and content! but holy shit I've seen some horrible stuff too#and it's hard to not feel like I'm doing something wrong by shipping with him. by loving a guy who the world has always hated.#and ofc I'm not! but still! even whenever i rb content of him here I'm always so afraid ajdhajsj#like ah yes this is the day i finally get cancelled on tumblr dot com for (checks notes) ... shipping with y.oshitaka m.ine??#I'm honestly afraid to take him up to being an official f/o ajdhajsb i think he'll stay in crush jail a little while longer..#i hate how the fandom perceives him so much!!!!!!! i also just hate the y.akuza fandom in general lmao#i do also like k.iryu so.. I've seen shit 😐#I'll delete this later but oh boy i am in a mood#and i know this isnt the first time I've blogged about this#and for that i do apologize. but i really do love this guy and despite wanting to look for content of him i always end up finding the most#infuriating shit!#i know he's done fucked up things. he's not a great guy. but! our relationship is built on mutual trust and i will NEVER write any of that#creepy obsessive shit that the stupid fandom always portrays him as doing! he's not going to kill someone for getting too close to me-#I'm just... upset- get behind me honey! I'll shield you!#and by kissing him I'm not brushing over any of the shit he does in the game. yes he beheaded that guy. yeah he slapped that orphan.#but i adore him and omg i hit tag limit... oopsie daisy lol sorry guys 😭 I'm really sorry for always talking abt this#you were beautiful 💸
3 notes · View notes
insanechayne · 4 months ago
Text
~ ~ ~
#I hate who I am when I start missing human contact and feeling lonely#I start missing someone who was awful to me simply because they were reliable in talking to me every day and at least sort of my friend#I start craving the connections that you see in media even though I know those types aren’t real#it seems like everyone else has more people and better people and closer people in their lives than me#it seems like everyone has best friends and partners that are closer to them and better for them#and idk it just feels like things are missing from my life#I have a partner but I can’t always talk to them when I need to because they can’t always handle a conversation#I have a best friend but he barely ever answers my calls and things feel distant between us lately#I have other friends but they’re not the kinds that I feel I could turn to for help when I’m lonely like this#I have my parents but neither of them are very good at comfort in these situations#and I just want to cry because I feel so completely by myself and I don’t know what to do anymore#I just want someone to talk to and who will listen to me when I need help and advice and be there for me#I’m starting to really miss the wrong people again even though I know I’m better without them in my life#but at least I could send them anything and get a response fairly soon when I needed to#at least for a while they were very close to me and i think that’s what I really miss most of all#just the closeness of another person since I don’t always feel that with other relationships these days#it’s times like these I wish I’d just killed myself at 16 so I wouldn’t have to keep dealing with this over and over forever#it’s times like these I wanna fade away#if I’m going to be alone anyway then why bother keeping others around at all? why not just break off and go be a hermit somewhere else?#but I can’t do that because I have too many responsibilities that I need to take care of#idk maybe I should just kill myself and get it over with#pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to make it this long in the first place#I mean I’m being facetious cause I’m not overly suicidal and I’m not actually going to do anything#just kinda wish I could in a weird sort of way#like missing the feeling of a blade slicing my skin since I stopped cutting a long time ago#just want more out of my relationships and from myself and from my life and idk how to get any of that#personal
3 notes · View notes