#i would be such a fucking good person if nothing happened

[deathbxnny]

Can you do how the arcane characters would react to you having a Panic attack/panick attacks

Arcane characters reacting to you having a panic attack! | Caitlyn, Sevika, Jinx, Vi x Gn!Reader

Thank you for your request, Anon! I absolutely loved writing this, so I hope you'll enjoy it!<33

Content: Panic attacks, fluff, swearing, established relationships, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns.

((Not proofread))

》CAITLYN

Her first instinct is to immideatly take you somewhere safe and private when she notices the panic attack approaching. She has very good intuition and has observed you for long enough to know your cues and signs, but sometimes even her own senses about you fail her during acute attacks that come out of nowhere. This doesn't mean that you can't rely on her to take care of you anyway.

"Hey, hey... let's breathe together, okay? Alright. Deep breathe in... hold it... and now release slowly... good job, let's do it again."

She's very quick to react to your needs and usually tries to regulate your breathing first before anything else, as that's how she learned to deal with them in her medical training. Caitlyn will also try and keep some distance in between you two in case you need space and only come closer once you're ready for that. She's very gentle and patient, as she soothes away your fears and worries.

Later on, she'll gently hold you and spoil you with nice food whilst you finally calm down and rest. Cait won't ever push you to tell her what triggered you, but will encourage you to tell her how she can help you better next time. Something she'll probably write down somewhere for future reference for better efficiency.

》SEVIKA

The first time it happens to you around her, she'll admittedly be a little surprised. It's not like she hadn't seen panic attacks before, but she simply just never had to deal with them before. With that said, her first instinct is to wonder if someone had bothered you and, if so, how quick she can beat them up for hurting you like this. The last thing she wants is for someone to ruin that beautiful smile of yours, and the sight of you suffering like that makes her feel uneasy.

"Alright, tell me what you need, and I'll do it for you right now. I just... fuck, tell me how to help you, sweetheart."

Sevika will lean down to your level after also taking you somewhere private so that she can let her guard down in peace and focus on you. She's not good at comforting people no matter who you are, and she's certainly also not the most affectionate person out there. But she knows to keep her distance and focus on what you need from her in that moment. Your hyperventilating and short breaths worry her, but that's nothing she can't handle with some direction from you.

After the panic attack blows over, she'll demand a detailed list of what exactly she should do better next time. She doesn't like being unprepared, especially when it comes to your care and well-being.

》JINX

She has memorized absolutely everything about you and is the first person to notice when a panic attack is coming up, which makes her the best helper out there at that moment. Jinx immideatly springs into action and brings you to her hideout, where she knows things are safe and sound. No one can hurt you here, especially not with her around. She'll sit on the ground with you and take your hands in her own carefully. The girl doesn't make any sudden moves and just observes every reaction you make very closely, practically analyzing them to know what to do next. And her voice would be so calm and soothing whilst she speaks.

"It's alright, cuddlebug. No one's laying a hand on ya whilst I'm here... so let's just breathe together."

Jinx doesn't want you to feel alone whilst you're going through this and will be right there with you until the last of your tears have been shed. Afterward, she'll either cuddle you to sleep or get you something nice to eat. Either way, you're being treated like royalty by her, just because she doesn't want you to feel like she did when she still had to suffer through everything all on her own. Having you here is a blessing, and taking care of you was a way to pay you back for it.

》VI

Despite what people may think, Vi's intuition about other people has never failed her. She always feels so deeply for others. It isn't all too surprising when she is quick to notice your mood shifting drastically out of nowhere. Once the panic attacks start, she'll have enough past experiences to take care of you as well as she can. It may not always be perfect due to her inability to express her love and affection all too well in moments of panic, but she'll still pull through for you. Getting you out of danger and into a more secluded area, she'll wrap her jacket around your shoulders and try soothing your quick breathing.

"Hey, hey, hey, let's calm down, okay? I'm right here. Nothing can hurt you."

She may honestly slightly panic herself, especially as seeing you so distraught messes with her own emotions, too. Vi hates to see you suffer, and the last thing she wants is for you to potentially get hurt if you don't calm down.

Vi will most likely ask you what she can do better next time as well, since she secretly feels a bit disappointed in herself for not being able to do more for you. But she's open to learning how to be perfect for you next time, that's for sure.

[vidavalor]

<<I would also not accept Crowley hate. I just never see it.>>

Same. Yeah, it doesn't exist. A lot of people's internalized issues at work, if you ask me, as to why there's only hate for Aziraphale when there shouldn't be hate for either of them.

<<I think for that to work, you have to take Crowley as the protagonist of the story and Aziraphale as an -- um, adjunct? romantic interest? Rather than seeing them as 2 equal players in the story.>>

If you want to get really technical about it? From a writing standpoint, Aziraphale is the main character because it's his story arc we're following the most throughout the story. He is the character who will under go the most change from chronological start-to-finish in the story. He and Crowley are two halves of a whole, though, so it's a little tricky and they're closer to being co-main-characters than you might get in other stories. Inside the story, though, the characters are definitely equal partners, and I agree that it's irritating to not always see that reflected in attitudes towards the characters.

The funny thing is, though, that people who think Crowley is the sole main character are showing that they don't really know what one is and are just focused on Crowley. For reasons. I wouldn't presume to know why, exactly, but I suspect that they are likely of 'want to fuck him even though he's fictional and subconsciously hate the main character who gets to' variety. Also shows how little they know the character as Crowley would not. care. for it. if he were to learn that they were disparaging his angel.

<<the Edinburgh minisode, that make it look like Aziraphale is still toeing the Heaven line and he is the only one who still (in 1827!) has learned nothing>>

Yeah, that attitude in people is showing that they're not really putting together the minisode, imho. Aziraphale struggling with conflicts of what he's supposed to be according to Heaven versus who he really is are not the same thing as Aziraphale being on the side of Heaven. He's never been on the side of Heaven. He gave away his sword in Eden. He lied and miracled to save Job's kids. He's been badass since the start.

I think it's also a feature of some people not seeing that Aziraphale is kind of dryly bitching about his job to Crowley in 1827 more than he is actually disagreeing with Crowley and Elspeth. He lives on Earth. He knows how lunacy Heaven's ideas about things are. He's complaining to Crowley about what he's up against and getting some reassurance in Crowley's wtf that's crazy! response that he's not alone in thinking so. The moment that he learns that Dalrymple isn't just a ghoul but someone who wants the bodies for greater good reasons, Aziraphale is happy to throw over whatever Heaven nonsense he's supposed to at least pretend to believe to help. He'll always do what he can to help. It's just all very tiresome that people think Crowley is perfect. He's not always right. There also isn't always a "right" at all.

<<such as the way the f15 was shown (many people do not sense any real threat from the Metatron, don't get the "able to see/hear what's happening in the shop", don't see anything weird about Crowley letting Aziraphale go off with the Metatron, etc.>>

Yeah, this... 😂 My favorite wtf interaction that I've had here on the Tumblr Dot Com is the person who told me that Aziraphale and Crowley weren't worried about being spied on in The Final 15 and when I pointed out things like... Aziraphale, looking out the window at Our Villain, doing the downward hands of "not right now" at Crowley, and trying to get him to stop talking? I was told-- kid you not-- that he just turned his head.

The closet is a theme of the season and there's an entire foreshadowing plot with the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters about Crowley and Aziraphale being spied on through the window and people who cannot make simple connections enough to understand what's happening, so... how's that for irony? There's a whole plot about people being unable to make connections... about which this person couldn't make a connection.

I agree to some extent that it's designed to appear a certain way, with particular emphasis on Crowley acting out of character, but it's not so cloak-and-dagger that we can't see that something is amiss. The number of people who don't seem to see Crowley as acting out of character by letting Aziraphale go alone with The Being Claiming To Be The Metatron amazes me. It should be the primary question to come out of that scene. This is what we were saying above, though-- they are too focused on precious demon got his feelings hurt to notice that there is something really, really wrong with precious demon. He just sat there and let Aziraphale go alone with someone who had tried to kill him and he'd never do that of his own free will and that's somehow not the biggest point of discussion?

But this is also the same problem as most people just believing without question that it's The Metatron at the door. Sure, it might be, but they definitely gave us a laundry list of clues that suggest we should at least be questioning it. Five angels cannot recognize him and he has to get a demon to identify him but that's not Satan? Really? After a whole season of "who are you" in every other scene? And all the minisodes being about Hell? Even if it's not, the point is that it's all very weird and many people are just taking what's happening as if nothing is weird, which I find to be... well, weird.

So many people think that The Metatron was legitimately offering Aziraphale a job and everything was on the up-and-up and... why would he ever do that? He'd never offer Crowley to be restored as an angel, either. That'd collapse Heaven and Hell in a day as every demon then would demand their own status as demons reviewed. They think this is The Metatron and they still believe him, even though he just tried to murder Gabriel? I was so surprised to see the number of people who don't think Aziraphale is in any danger here and think he just got promoted when the whole season seems like it's building towards something quite different but we'll see what happens in The Finale.

The gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is so important to shoot missionaries on sight.

Eric, Terry Prachett

[dreameryfics]

JJ MAYBANK x READER

Summary: The Kooks show up on the beach and JJ defends you

I was with the Pogues all day, like any other day. The sun was shining and the waves were awesome. We woke up that morning and quickly went to the beach. It seemed like everybody had that idea, the beaches filled up within ten minutes it seemed. We got the Twinkie to the beach, well John B did, but not without almost crashing since he was drinking. I tried to tell him to stop, but there was no telling that kid what to do.

I never really was taught how to surf, but that didn't stop me from going out there and just sitting on my surfboard. JJ has tried to help me, but I'm just not very coordinated, to say the least, but he still loves me. I watched everybody surf for a while before deciding to go back to the beach. As I was walking back to the Twinkie, I saw a Jeep start driving over my way. I knew it was Topper and his goons as soon as I saw the vehicle. I sat down on one of the folding chairs we had set up before going to the water, trying to ignore them. I watched as he parked next to us. "What the hell is he doing?" I heard someone ask, looking to see Kie walking over to me.

"I have no clue," I replied, "I just hope no drama happens. It's a nice day and I would hate to have it ruined by them.” I looked over to see Topper, Kelce, Rafe, and Ruthie. I've never liked Topper, but I don't think he's a bad person. I think he's so focused on Kooks versus Pogues, that nothing else matters. It's always been a competition between the two. "I don't understand how he goes from Sarah," I gesture over to Sarah, still surfing, "to Ruthie." I look over to where the Kooks are and see Ruthie glaring at us.

"Well, it's simple," Kie started, "he had the best with Sarah, and now he's just, well, desperate." We both chuckled. I looked over at Kie and saw her grabbing a beer from the cooler, she raised one up to me and I shook my head. I know that there should be at least one of us sober to drive home. "Kie, we're being real mean girls-esque right now," I pointed out. She shrugged her shoulder before responding to me, "Trust me, she's said way worse about us." Kie came over and sat next to me. We sat there for a while before we heard someone walking over to us.

"Hey, can you tell your asshole boyfriend to stop hogging all the waves?" I look up and see Ruthie talking to me, not even acknowledging Kie. I look out and see JJ standing up on his board, noticing Topper doing the same thing before jumping off into the water due to JJ getting in front of him. If it was any other situation I would mention something, but I also know JJ wouldn't do that to someone else. "Ruthie, I can't control what he does," I look up to her hovering over me, "he's out there and I'm over here." She rolls her eyes at me, "You're such a bitch. Can't you just do something for once in your life?" she asks me, it was more of a statement than anything.

"Ruthie," I stand up and walk in front of her, "if JJ comes over here, I'll say something, but until then, how about you go back to your friends and leave us alone." I turned around and started to walk over to the Twinkie, looking at Kie and rolling my eyes at the whole interaction. I didn't get too far before I felt hands on my back, pushing me forward. "What the fuck," I heard Kie shout before coming over to me. I looked back at Ruthie and rolled my eyes at her. “Can't believe you were ever a Kook," she said with attitude before walking away from us.

Kie started to go after her, wanting to protect her friends, but I pulled her back, "Kie, it's not worth it," I told her, "they'll just turn it into our fault if you do anything." She tries to argue with me, but I just sit back down in the chair, trying to forget the interaction. I'm fiddling with my nails when I hear someone ask, "Hey, you good?" I look up to find a shirtless JJ jogging over to me with his board under his arm. I look over and see Sarah and John B getting some drinks from the cooler. I didn't even notice they were back. I nodded my head at JJ and gave him a small smile. He came and squatted down to be level with me, he took my hands, "What happened?"

"Ruthie," I replied looking back down, "she came over and was talking shit. Normal Kook behavior." I looked up at him before I heard Kie, "She pushed her, but your girlfriend over there decided to take the high road. Wouldn't even let me go after her." I looked over at Kie and gave her a look, not wanting her to have said anything. I look back to JJ who is looking over at the group of Kooks. "JJ, it's fine," I tell him placing my hand on his cheek, trying to calm the storm that is forming. He quickly stood up and started walking over to them. I quickly got up and went after him to stop him, but not before Topper yelled over at us, "Oh, look who it is, the Pogue prince and princess."

I took JJ's hand in mine, trying to calm him down. I felt him squeeze my hand tighter, letting me know he was fine. "Topper, let's cut the bullshit," JJ said in an annoyed voice, "all we wanted to do was enjoy the waves and the nice weather but you always seem to be right there, ruining it; your girlfriend too." Topper chuckles at JJ and gets closer to him, "I'm not the one ruining it. You pushed me off my board, and Ruthie here was just defending me."

"I didn't push you off your board, you jumped off," he stated with a small smirk on his lips. "Plus, you had been getting in front of us every other time, I thought it was a competition." Topper scoffs at JJ. I had only seen JJ get in front of Topper that one time, but it didn't surprise me that they had been getting in front of JJ beforehand. "Yup," Topper dramatically throws his hand up in the air, "it's always the damn Kooks fault with you guys."

"Seriously Top," I interrupted getting closer to him, "You've always hated the Pogues, don't act all high and mighty. You've started shit with them so many times I can't even remember. Even when we were friends you were an asshole to them." He looks at me with wide eyes, "I can't imagine what Sarah ever saw in you." As I turn my back away from him, I'm quickly pushed to the ground. "What the fuck!" I hear JJ yell before helping me off the ground. I wipe the sand off my legs and turn to face them. Ruthie was smirking at me, proud of herself. Topper was staring at her with a hint of anger in his face.

"Don't ever fucking touch her again," JJ said to Ruthie, but it was directed towards the entire group. I started walking away, not wanting to even be on the beach anymore. I overheard JJ add, "Don't even come near her or I'll fucking end you."

I heard his feet shuffle in the sand to catch up with me. He took my hand and faced me towards him. "I'm so sorry princess," he said before he engulfed me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and he placed a kiss on the top of my head. "If they ever bother you again," he says and places his hands on either side of my face, looking at me, "please tell me." I shook my head at him before he put his arms around me and pulled me into another hug. I've never felt more safe than when I'm in his arms.

We walk back to where the rest of the group is standing. They started asking questions about what happened and we told them. "How was I ever with him before you," Sarah asks looking over at John B. He shrugs his shoulders before we all chuckle at her, trying to in fact imagine what she saw in Topper. We packed up our things and left soon after, not wanting to be on the beach any longer.

We drove home and quickly unpacked our things before we went to the house. We were stopped at the door by Pope, with bloody hands. The atmosphere taking a drastic change from earlier.

I started this with a different ending in mind, but it didn't go in that direction so here we are... Not my favorite but it's what I got lol

[xx-reverie-xx]

🖤Sevika HCs🖤

just random sevika hcs. broken up into categories for general, romantic, and nsfw headcanons respectively.

i didn’t try very hard while writing this, so my writing is probably subpar here but…yolo.

men dni. minors dni. men dni. minors dni.

safe for enby lesbians. ♥️

general

* raging butch lesbian 🧡🤍🩷.

* her place is messy but in an organized chaos sort of way.

* she smells like cigar smoke (in a good way), leather, and peppery mahogany.

* collects bottle caps. i can’t explain it, i just have a feeling she would!!

* has very, very cool, gay aunt vibes!!!

* actually an excellent cook.

* her carabiner is on the left side. she keeps the basics on it, so just her keys and one or two old key chains she has.

* in a modern au she would be into classic cars and the process of restoring them. her dream car is a 1970 mustang boss.

* on the topic of vehicles i can see her as a biker too. like, imagine seeing her taking off that helmet … swoon! imagine being her backpack … SWOON AGAIN!!!

romantic

* loves hugging you from behind

* if you’re with her at the last drop, she has her arm around you constantly. if it’s not that, she’s having you sit on her lap.

* this woman is a capital F Flirt. will talk you up one side and down the other like it’s nothing. if you’re just someone she happens to lock eyes with at the bar, you guys could go back and forth with flirting and banter.

* BUT if you and sev have been together for a bit flirting can get her flustered from time to time. you know *just* what to say to her to make her short circuit a little bit. no one can get under her skin the way you can. /pos

* calls you baby. if you’re a femme, she calls you her femme.

* surprisingly soft lips.

* kissing her feels like a dream.

* sevika prefers a partner who can take care of themselves. after all, she’s a busy woman and she can’t always come to your rescue.

* her giving love language is acts is service. need something fixed? in classic butch fashion, she’s absolutely got you covered. do you drink coffee or tea in the morning? she’s got a cup ready for you in the morning, *just* the way you like it. she’ll do anything for you when she’s got the time.

* her receiving love language? words of affirmation. she likes to know that you think she’s *good*. that she’s doing a good job and that you see that.

* would be so fucking whipped for you. you’re on her mind all the time. smiles when little things make her think of you. memorizes every little detail about you every chance she gets.

* she doesn’t have a type. like, at all.

nsfw

* stone top. there. i said it.

* nipple piercings 🙈.

* oh, she is eating that thang. this woman is a munch. she would know just how to lick or suck you to make you come before you know it. it’s a very personalized experience.

* she learns you inside and out. knows every. little. thing that makes you tick.

* vocal. like, as in, she talks. she’s dirty about it too. all “oh, yeah? you like that baby?”, “be good for me, i know you can take it” or “i know what’s good for you, now fucking take it”. she talks you through it every time.

* has a collection of straps. different strokes for different folks, am i right?

* touching on one of her receiving love languages being words of affirmation …

* she loves to be praised.

* it’s something she would never explicitly ask you to do. it’s a subtle thing.

* it’s in the way she short circuits when you tell her how good she’s doing, how good she makes you feel. you can tell she likes that, knowing that she is good for you, in the way her hands tremble or her hips stutter or, if she’s going down on you, the way her eyes go soft.

* she will fuck you senseless and then be so, so sweet on you after. makes sure you’re taken care of, that there’s something for you to drink, has towels ready for you incase you don’t feel like showering for a while after you finish. seriously, it’s like two different people.

okay thats it. i am obsessed with this woman and just wanted to share some headcanons i had for her while i finish up a fic i’m trying to write🎠.

cant believe my first writing here was some random hcs but whatever!!!

requests currently open for multiple fandoms, including arcane :).

dividers by cafekitsune

[ariiadnes]

╭ ⿻ ･ 0713

ଓ.° ・ simon riley. call of duty. family fic -- simon and reader have a daughter. may as well make this an unofficial series ～(　TロT)σ every day i am victim to the delusions !!

when you first met simon, you quite honestly did not think you'd end up having such a domestic life with him. you've known each other for a long while, been together for less. you've seen each other go through hell and back, worry for each other's safety and return, and here you are now, with a daughter that is exactly like him.

kind of. mostly, you'd say.

personality? absolutely. quiet, reserved-- her, mostly in the sense that she's shy. him, in the sense that he just doesn't like talking to people very much. but quiet all the same, you suppose.

appearances? oh, one hundred percent. brown eyes, brown hair. sharp gaze. you don't know how a two year old has a sharp gaze, but she does.

little quirks? you suppress a sigh just thinking about it. wherever you are, simon is. he's practically your shadow-- so what's your daughter? his shadow. so basically, in summary : anywhere you go? have no fear, you will never be alone. ever.

oh, forgot something in the bedroom? just turn around and you'll face-plant into your husband's chest, and when you recover, you'll see your daughter peek out from behind his leg to see what all the ruckus is. oh, you're going to do laundry? forget the television, make it a group effort instead. grocery shopping? no need to split up to make it faster. he's mapped out the most efficient route around the store to knock out this trip in less than an hour.

yeah. they're weird. but you love them, so it's okay.

you'd like to think that nothing surprises you at this point, until today -- when you're tending to the house, bright and early, only to see a certain half awake toddler and her dad standing in the living room. you pause for a moment, mildly surprised that she's already up. you don't say anything-- just watching, as they haven't noticed you around the corner of the hallway quite yet.

"papa."

"munchkin."

silence. like, a long silence. your brows furrow, and you can't help but tilt your head in confusion and curiosity as you witness the strange phenomenon that is your family. she closes the distance, looking up at him. and in return, he looks down at her.

and they just stare at each other. in even more silence. for a good few minutes. not a single word exchanged. you're just so confused by this interaction that you're about to speak up, but then she raises her arms, and just like that, he picks her up, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead-- his usual good morning greeting to her, you've come to notice.

you stand there in the hallway, confused as ever, as he walks off to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her. you have no idea what that was. you blink a few times before shaking your head, joining him in the kitchen to help with the morning prep.

-- so naturally, when night comes, the little one is sleeping, and you're laying in bed next to simon, you can't help but ask:

"what the hell happened this morning?"

he pauses at the sudden question.

"you burned the pancakes, dove."

your eye twitches.

"i did fucking not." you roll your eyes, though you don't put up any resistance as he pulls you closer to him, an arm draped over your waist. "i'm talking about your little stare down today. what was that?"

simon stares blankly at the wall in recollection of the event. a moment or two, then a slow shift in his gaze as he looks at you.

"-- just had a bit of a chat."

"...you both said one word each."

"said it was a bit, didn't i?"

oh, insufferable. weird and insufferable. you give him a deadpan stare, in which he returns full on-- and now you're stuck in a silent staring contest with him. as much as you'd love to try and redeem yourself from the losing streak you've maintained all these years, you understand that one : it is midnight, and you would like to not stay up until three in the morning only to lose, and two : you should be realistic and know that you'll never win.

"stop that." you grumble, hand covering his eyes. "she's gonna pick up on that and start staring into people's souls. it'll freak them out."

he chuckles softly, moves your hand away before lacing his fingers with yours, lips gently trailing down your neck. "not a bad thing. instills fear."

"...i would really like you to not encourage our two year old daughter to instill fear into people, simon riley."

a faint hum of acknowledgement and amusement, then another kiss along your jaw, the corner of your mouth, then your lips. he can't help but notice the feeling of your smile despite your disgruntled words, and he thinks he loves you all the more for it.

"i'll consider it, love."

[guiltycorp]

Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.

[justme315]

New family 2/?

First part:

⚠️ WARNING ⚠️

Fear, mention of vomit , characters being religious, curse words, mention of sexual assault, mention of dehumanization

--------------------------------------------

I was double fucked.

There we go again, me cursing for the second time while starting my story. I promise, I'll try my best for it to be the last time I start with that kinda sentence. Really.

It's just, if I though that what happened previously was bad then what happened later that day was literally hell. Well, yeah I can imagine worse (and believe me when I tell you what happened a few days later you will actually see far worse, but I can't spoil my own story) but it was still bad. Really bad.

Okay, some creeps that enjoy the company of giants would disagree that it was bad at all. But if you're not a giant-obsessed creep (sorry for calling some of y'all out) then you'll understand why it was so bad for me. Okay, back to the story.

As you might recall, I fained mare secounds before officially meeting my moms giant fiance and his sons. Yeah, great first impression. Dad would have been proud. He was just as awkward as me but this once I won with him on 'the worst first impression competition'. Well, I hope he saw this from heaven and laughed at me.

I suppose I though I would soon be 'reunited' with him, if you know what I mean.

C'mon, I can't be the only person that doesn't get why a giant would marry a human if they actually don't have any sick intentions! I mean, everything is really outta place, those kind of relationships have basically nothing to offer. I wouldn't say I'm a traditionalist, I'm bisexual myself so that is kinda impossible, but I'm not there for "mixed-sized" marriages if you know what I mean. They weren't legal (untill like 5 years previously to the story I'm telling you) for a reason!

Shoot, I'm talking about all those things again and you'll consider me a specist. Let's get back to what happened after I fainted.

I don't really know what happened mid-time, my mind was blank after I fainted all the way to the moment I have awoken. It was probably the first time I was actually so unconscious that I can't recall anything.

When I awoken, or more likely started to regain consciousness all I remember is the feeling of warmth. It was really, really warm.

It wasn't too good for me because I had puked what, like 10 minutes before that? Yeah, throwing up again wouldn't have turned out very well for me back then.

Once I finally opened my eyes I still felt dizzy. The whole world around me was moving and I promise you I heard my heart beating so loud that I though I was dying. Well, it wasn't exactly my heartbeat, I later found out.

For a few secounds I couldn't remember what I was doing before I fainted and I couldn't understand where was I. Everything was moving, like I was in a car, but far more.. enourmous.

Crap.

I forgot about those damn giants.

I tried to figure out where I was as I sat up. Whatever I was sitting on was squishy and warm. I tried to get my balance back as my eyes started to unblur. I heard my mom's voice.

"Zack! You're awake!" she yelled out with relief.

Oh yeah. Me and my mom were together. We were going to meet up with her boyfriend and his sons. Why did I forget about that? How did I?

I touched my head, feeling it hurt. What the hell was actually happening?

"Ethan, honey can you get me closer to Zack, please?" I heard my momma's voice once again, though it now wasn't directed to me.

Wait. Ethan? I know that name from somewhere... Oh, fuck.

"Sure, auntie, whatever you ask for" I heard a manly voice echo around me. It was so low and loud that it sounded like it was coming from some concert speakers rather than a real person. I was literally drowning in this voice that seemed to sound from every direction around me. As if I were somehow surrounded by it. Was this even possible?

"Just be careful Van, don't move too suddenly, Ethan is still learning how to manage an overly trusting human" I heard another manly, yet softer voice that somehow felt even more surreal. I was starting to understand what was happening. We were with the giants. Probably in a car. I was..

The same voice that spoke less than a secound ago let out a chuckle and I swear that once I started processing the words he had said I was about to freak out again when I found another reason to.

"Dad don't say that!" the voice around me echoed louder, making me feel my heart skip a beat. My head was spinning again "Auntie, don't listen to him. I work with human kids, I know just how to handle your kind, no need to worry"

The rest of the short conversation seemed blurred out to me. I was more concerned on a discovery I made. I finally figured out my surroundings.

I was half-sitting on the lap of a giant.

Ethan, specifically.

My eyes widden, my head screamed at me to freaking run away as far as possible, my legs felt groggy, my breathing fasten as I slowly raised my eyes, first looking at a enourmous stomach covered by a white comfy hoodie, then at a neck with visible veins (which creeped the heck out of me) and finally at a face of a gigantic beast named Ethan.

His hand was reaching out to Andrew, who was driving and my mom casually walked into his opened palm from the shoulder of her 'fiance'.

My teeth bit into my lower lip before I could let out a yelp at noticing how easily the freaking 60-ish foot tall dude handled my mama, my only treasure, only family.

My mom was soon lowered in my direction and believe me when I tell you, catching eye contact with a giant was the worse ever feeling for me back then.

Ethan smiled at me with those freaking fangs of a killer and I felt my whole stomach rushing up my throat.

If it wasn't for the fact that earlier I have literally vomited everything that was inside my body I would have surely puked at that moment.

I felt my freaking soul leaving my body as the gigantic dude-beast smiled at me and eyed me up and down.

"Hey, kid. I'm Ethan"

And I was back down.

Yep, I fainted again. I know shitty thing but damn, that's freaking terrifying! You wouldn't be much better facing a giant, I assure you!

Well, they didn't let me be unconscious (or dead at that point) for long enough, my mom rushed to me and shoke me awake.

"Sweetie! You fainted again!"

Yeah, no shit mom, I was on the lap of my probable future murderer that could literally do anything to me, I had nothing to be afraid of.

"I did..?" I mumbled, rubbing my face.

Don't call me a coward, I just wouldn't say something that rude to my mama, even if it was the truth. If you were raised properly by your mother you would know not to talk like that to her (unless she's a bitch, then go ahead).

"Maybe we should actually go to the hospital" said Andrew, looking at me for a secound and then back onto the road.

"No baby, I think he is just tired. Let's get him home and give him some time to rest and then we'll decide" my mom answered.

Ethan looked down at me with now a concerned expression but didn't say anything. He seemed conflicted. I don't know what was him problem but I appreciated that he didn't touch me nor say anything to me again directly.

Even though I appreciated not being touched, it didn't take my fear away, my body was still trembling and all I wanted was to hide from his gaze.

My mom worried sick and spoke some stuff to me for the rest of the ride, but if I'm being honest, I couldn't understand even a single word she said, I was too focused on the fact that I was on the lap of this enourmous young man and his eyes never left my body.

I actually felt a little sad (don't kill me mama) that I didn't just die at the airport. I wouldn't have had to be so close to giants.

Ethan had a conflicted and even sad look on his face but I couldn't actually figure out why. Maybe it was because he couldn't kill me in front of my mom? Would that even matter to him? Or was it his father or brother? I don't think they would've minded it. I was not actually sure why me and my mom were still alive but I was grateful to God that we were. I also prayed that my mom would escape somehow, with me preferably but my hope about her realizing we were in danger was long gone.

Before I knew how many miles we had traveled, the car stopped.

"And we're home" Andrew announced happily.

Ryan left the car, not saying a word, slamming the door so hard that not only me but also (surprisingly) my mom flinched.

Ethan turned his head around to face his brother but the two never made eye contact. That was weried. What was happening between those two? Okay, I was hella scared but drama is drama! As long as I'm not a part of it I'm a fan.

Andrew signed.

"He'll be over it soon, honey" the oldest giant said, looking at my mom, making a small, reassuring smile. Even though I was terrified of the giant and his voice made my head spin unpleasantly I felt some pity inside of my heart. Andrew was a tired dad with visibly some issues with Ryan. Yeah, he was my probable future murderer but I could still pity him a little.. right?

"I'm sure he will. He just needs some time to adjust, that's all" my mom answered her fiance. I was curious what was all of this about. I got so involved in trying to figure out the situation that for a secound I forgot that those were actually giants I was thinking about and being within their reach (do not remind me that I was on Ethan's lap, please, it was as scary as it could).

"I'll talk to him auntie, he can't be this rude to you both" Ethan added into the conversation. I didn't like how he called my mom 'auntie'. It sounded as if they had a relationship. And as if it was sincere. I hated it very much. I didn't like how they tricked my mom into believing that they had no sick intentions. She was my mom. Not their "auntie" nor "Van" (it's a nickname for Vanessa if you wanna know).

"We all need to adjust. It's not easy for neither of us. Sure, for me, your dad and you Ethan it might be easier but it's still hard to change our whole lives" my mom tried to sound assuring, petting the giants hand. I flinched as I realized what she was doing but I didn't say a word, I just held my trembling hands together with more pressure.

Ethan's eyes landed on me again. I swear he looked right into my soul. He didn't seem angry, more likely sad and surprised. What was he surprised about?

"We should be heading back home." Andrew spoke again, trying to look more positive, even though it was visible it was forced. That somehow made my heart ache. If he was a human I would have felt bad for him. But he wasn't a human.

Andrew opened his door. I realized that I couldn't get out of the car on my own. I paled again. My mom noticed and came closer to me, grabbing my arm for support as I stood up. Cold sweat flew down my spine. I didn't want to be touched by either of those giants. Abso-fucking-lutely not.

I closed my eyes tightly, expecting Ethan's enormous hands to grab me forcefully and carry me home as if I were a toy. My heart was beating faster, my breathing became shallower, my legs were barely able to keep my balance.

I felt a terrible pressure in my chest, that stinging feeling you feel when you're extremely anxious, as if something was crushing you from the inside.

I waited for a second, two, ten, but the grip never came.

All that happened was my mom speaking to me:

"Why are your eyes closed? Are you feeling worse again?"

I immediately opened my eyes and looked at her confused yet worried expression. My eyes then landed on Ethan who was now even more visibly shocked and sadden. What the hell was his problem exactly? Did I look this pitiful that even a giant pitied me? Dang.

"No mama, I'm f-fine.." my voice shook way more that I intended to reveal in front of the giant. I nervously moved form one leg to the other. I realized it was the first time I spoke in front of a giant in my normal volume voice. That one sentence mumbled before that was basically a whisper.

Ethan's gaze never left me as Andrew exited the car. My mom's as well, but her gaze was less intimidating.

I still don't really know how Ethan knew but I'm sure as hell he knew way more than my mom that I was scared. She acted as if I was just sick while he.. seemed to notice.

"Would it be okay if I took you in my open palm and took you back home?" the giant man spoke in a softer, slower and more quiet voice, his hands never moving an inch in our direction. It felt surreal.. was he really asking us about consent to being held? He could just grab us. He could do anything. He didn't need our consent. Even if we said 'no' he could still do anything he wanted. But somehow.. somehow the fact that he did ask was not only shocking but also.. slightly calming.

"Ethan, honey, what a silly question, of course you can!" My mom chuckled a little, smiling at the beast ahead of us.

"Sorry auntie, but I wasn't talking to you" he smiled softly at her, showing those fangs of his a little (which surprisingly didn't scare my mom but made me take a tiny step back) and then his eyes met mine and I felt uneasy, trapped even, my body stiffen "Zack, will you allow me to get you back home on my open palm? No pressure, kid"

My heart literally stopped for a moment. I was shocked he asked me that. I knew there was pressure - my mom, the giants, no other way into the house - but he pretended to care. To actually mind how I felt about that. He also never used the words 'hold' or 'grab' and he kept emphasizing that his hand would be open. I didn't know what game was he playing but he was doing it really well since I felt a little more easy about the whole situation.

I didn't want to be touched though. I hated that idea. I hated physical touch in general but being on a giants hand, totally dependent on him was even a thousand times worse. But what I was supposed to do? He would stop pretending to be polite once I said 'no'. Also, my mom would be mad. I didn't want my last memory of her to be anger.

"Zack, sweetie, Ethan asked you a question. Answer him, so we can get back home" my mom rushed me, though the giants eyes landed on her with dissaproval (though at first I mistaken it with anger, i must confess (I might have been a tiny little bit paranoid)).

"Y-Yeah.." I mumbled, or more likely yelped at Ethan's eyes returning to me. I could barely speak with him being this close.

He didn't seem convinced and wanted to say something but we heard Andrew calling from outside the car: "Are you coming or not?"

The giants eyes scanned me up and down again and then he slowly moved his right hand and lowered it onto his lower thigh, still leaving about 6 meters between himself and me. My mom rushed to get on him palm, while I stood there, biting my lower lip. The feeling in my chest returned. I looked up for support in my mom but her eyes didn't even meet mine. But Ethan's did.

"It's alright Zack, I promise I won't drop you, I know to handle humans" he spoke softly and quietly as if trying to calm down a startled animal. Was this what I was to him? A scared kitten? Humiliating.

My mom's eyes landed on me and she then looked as if she finally realized what was actually stopping me from getting on that palm. But it was as clear as day she would not reveal that I was scared of Ethan. I don't know why, wasn't it obvious?

"Ethan, honey he is just scared he will fall, that's all. Zack don't be silly and come here" she chuckled nervously as if trying to hide a secret. Good job mom, totally not suspicious and totally not making me look like a coward. Good job.

I took a deep breath and a unsteady step ahead. It was the first time in my life that my legs didn't obey to my will. Well, it wasn't exactly my will but I tried to actually pretend like I wasn't afraid.

I looked up and Ethan looked at me with those enourmous hazel eyes full of pity and emphaty.

I finally figured out why I and my mom were still alive.

They must have viewed us as pets.

I gulped at that though. I remembered how gentle and polite I was to my first hamster - exactly like Ethan was to me now. Great, I was going to be dehumanized for the rest of my supposably short life. Lovely.

"It's alright" he cooed again, as if talking to a baby animal. It really pissed me off. I am clearly not an animal! Like damn, I am an average (maybe even a little handsome) guy, not a pet.

I actually enjoyed the fact that I was more annoyed than scared at that moment, this emotion didn't stop my legs from moving at last.

It took me a moment but I actually did get on the giants hand. The fear returned to my body. I was pretty much petrified. This was freaking unnatural. I was standing on something so squishy, warm, unsteady, so alive. I hated being held by a giant. His long fingers creeped me out the most. They twitched from time to time.

The enourmous guy spoke again "Hang on, we're heading out".

He soon stood up and exited the car. I gulped, feeling all my organs moving. Saying I was uptight was an understatement. It was like an extreme rollercoaster, only without any protection, while standing up and with an unpredictable route. I couldn't help but let out another yelp as he started walking. I couldn't really keep my balance well, but my mom held me in place.

The ground was so far away that I knew if I fell down I would 100% die. My mom somehow wasn't bothered by that. Like, we get it mom, you're a crazy, giant-obsessed, old woman but freaking have some decency and don't be elated by being in danger! (Please don't let my mom find this blog, she will kill me).

My heart was pounding faster than it physically could. I promise you, I have had a heart attack. I tried not to move, just to ensure myself that I wouldn't die falling down.

It didn't help that Ethan's eyes LITERALLY never left me. Like, how creepy can you be?

Oh.

What if I was supposed to be HIS pet?

This would have made sense. Andrew would take mom, Ethan me and Ryan was pissed off at both of them because he didn't get a pet. It sounded realistic.

My mouth went dry at that though. What would he do to me? I have heard stories of humans being dehumanized and held as pets by giants. Some kept them in cages. Some forced them to be nude in those. They would feed them trash. They would force them not to speak. They would punish any disobedience very, very harshly.

My eyes became glossy, tears began to built in them.

What would be Ethan's punishment towards me?

This question made me almost break down. What would he do to me? Would he be the "nice owner" that treats pets with care? Or would he be cruel?

I remembered my friends story, when we were back in my school. He told us about his cousin who was kidnapped by a giant. I think I told you this story before. What if my fate was similar?

What if I would be abused mentally, physically and sexually?

Oh my dearest Lord God what if that was it? What if both of them were sexually deprived creeps? What if Andrew was 'dating' my mom, becouse that was what was in his mind? Was I about to become a victim of that? Would anyone even believe me? Would anyone save me? Would anyone save my mama?

I muffled my sob. I was fucking terrified.

Lord God, please hear my prayers and save us - I prayed - Please God, don't let them harm my mom. I don't care anymore what tortures I'll go through but please save mommy.

Before my mind could take me any further we entered the house - my new prison.

It was freaking enormous but I have to admit, it was also pretty. Those dudes were freaking affluent. I wiped my eyes, trying to hide my fear. My mom's eyes now met mine.

"Is everything okay sweetie?" My mom petted my shoulder. I smiled sadly at her. We were about to die but we were together. We were a team. As long as I was with her it was okay.

"Yeah" I mumbled, hugging her, fearing it would be the last time.

"Welcome to your new home!" Andrew announced.

Welcome to hell.

--------------------------

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it 🥰 Can't wait for y'all's questions and theories!

[wholelottaprompts]

ᡣ𐭩 Emails I Can't Send Prompts ᡣ𐭩

from the album Emails I Can't Send, by Sabrina Carpenter

"And I still make excuses for you constantly."

"Sorry that I pulled the 'it's not you, it's me.'"

"You're not my friend, and baby, you never were."

"It's times like these I wish I had a time machine."

"Whatever, you're a waste of time."

“Oh, so you do have a type."

"Where else can we go?"

"I hate the way you left me dry."

"Give me a second to forget I ever really meant it."

"Don't say sorry now."

"One day, I'll make sure you get a real apology."

"I tried to look for the best in the worst."

"Oh, so you can reply."

"I'm so tired."

"You want me? I'm done."

"I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me."

"You're lucky I'm a private person."

"I'm over that son of a bitch."

"Don't make me cuss you out."

"You're so vicious."

"Nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks I'm fucking rude."

"Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me?"

"I can't help it, it's a habit."

"You act like a bitch."

"I never saw him and we never kissed."

"There's nothing left here to decode."

"Were you lying to me and the family?"

"If you wanted brown eyes, I could have got contacts."

"You don't feel remorse."

"That never made too much sense to me."

"I can't read your mind."

"Why'd you let me down?"

"You knew I would see that."

"Looking at you got me thinking nonsense."

"Bet you wanna love me now."

"How do you do this to me?"

"Tell me what's gonna happen."

"You knew I would notice."

"I'll drive you home."

"I don't even know, I'm talking nonsense."

"I want you there sometimes."

"She looks nothing like me."

"Your signals are mixed."

"Everything reminds me of you."

"I know you know it keeps me up."

"You drive me crazy."

"Chase me."

"Did you even give a fuck?"

"You disgust me."

"Now I'm a homewrecker. I'm a slut."

"Tell me I was more than just a decent opportunity."

"Why do you look so happy?"

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thanks to you, I can't love right."

"I know now even if I tried to change that somehow, you'd end up with her anyway."

"You fit every stereotype."

"Does she step out of the spotlight so you bathe in it?"

"Now I can't even look at you."

"You said I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite."

"I know what you're about to say."

"Does she get up on top of you more than I would?"

"He had it coming."

"I deserve my own consideration."

"I look up from my phone and think there's no chance it's you, but it is."

"He's good for my heart, but he's bad for business."

"I've got death threats filling up semi trucks."

"How am I supposed to close the door when I still need the closure?"

"All my friends think I've gone crazy."

"I care, but I don't."

"Please fucking fix this."

"Tell me that you miss me in your life."

"It feels so good not caring where you are tonight."

"You were all I looked up to."

"Was I being lied to?"

"I got ways to find you anywhere."

"You miss me? No duh."

"Maybe we should do this on purpose sometime."

"It was all so innocent."

"What the fuck is patience?"

"I can't even stomach loving someone else."

"God, I love you, but you're such a dipshit."

"You're good at impersonating someone who cares."

"I bet your house is where my other sock is."

[veilkeeper]

Act 3 Emmrichmance: Lich Edition

alt title: if you're really determined, "'til death do us part" is only a suggestion

okay so, after the point of no return some pretty major stuff happens in the romances. @/crossdressingdeath and i talked in DMs about how, as far as we can tell, all the romances have some sort of unfinished business going into the endgame. in the lucanismance, it's him cutting rook off from saying they love him, in the davrinmance it's a discussion about davrin's fear that one of them is going to die just as he's starting to imagine a future with them, and with emmrich it's The Argument™—which as i've discussed before, is emmrich and rook having an argument about his insecurities. in the lich path, which is what i'm specifically talking about here, the argument is about his concern that rook is going to die at some point, and his fear that he's going to mourn them forever. the argument is left unresolved after some pretty intense back and forth, where rook calls him out on pushing his insecurities and fears onto them, and they have to shelve it to head to tearstone island.

to their credit, they do try to apologize to each other. in banter on tearstone island, emmrich very clearly regrets starting an argument, but he and rook both agree that now isn't really a good time and that they'll talk when they get home.

and then rook almost dies in front of him and gets thrown into fade jail by solas.

uh oh!!!!

if this isn't the manifestation of all his fears, i don't know what is. for all intents and purposes, he has lost rook. he's sure they're alive—trapped in a prison meant to hold gods, but alive—and since he's a lich i have every confidence that there was not a moment of rest in the weeks it took to rescue rook. he's their fade expert, he's the best equipped to find them, and he has to, because otherwise the last real conversation they had was an argument he never got to apologize for, and he will have to live with that guilt for an eternity.

i really have to wonder if he ever would have been able to bring himself to stop looking for them.

and while i suspect their LI is always the first person to grab a hold of rook to pull them out of the fade, there's a special flavour to it when you're romancing emmrich. knowing that he's probably been obsessively trying to find them. the sheer relief he must have felt when he reached through the veil and was able to get his hands on them, to pull them through and back into the safety of his arms.

he fusses after them, too. urgently takes them to the necropolis so he can be extra certain that solas' hold on them is gone. he was afraid he'd lost them forever, he wasn't going to waste any time making sure they'd be as safe as they can be. and then he says,

"I will let nothing part us again, my love. Not in this nor any other world."

he says it in that level, sort of indulgent tone that he says all his romance lines in, so it's easy to mistake this as him being poetically hyperbolic. but let us never forget that this is the man with such a profound fear of death that he became a lich just to avoid it. he's not half as well-adjusted as he likes to appear.

when he says he would not let anything separate him and rook again, he is dead fucking serious.

he wakes them up at dawn despite knowing they need rest—i think, perhaps, because it isn't enough to have them breathing in front of him. that he needs to hear their voice and have the reassurance that they're here and real and alive and safe, at least right now. "I would move the world before I lost you again," he says later. before the final fight against elgar'nan, he says he has plans he wants to make with rook, that he wants to be safe and at home with them. if i had to guess, i'd say rook i going to have a hard time shaking him for anything after this. i don't think he's ever going to feel like they're safe if he can't see them. hope you like a clingy boyfriend.

it's kind of the inevitable conclusion to what i was talking about in my sacrifice of souls meta—none of his actual fears around death and dying and grieving have been addressed, and he's hitched his wagon to immortality. and now that he's almost lost rook, he's realized that there is no universe where he's ever going to survive losing them for real.

and we all know the lengths he's willing to go to stay alive.

[sarah-denial-cq]

I'm on my knees, looking at another girl who's on *her* knees, looking at me. Someone is standing behind me, my long braid wrapped up in their hand. The other girl looks scared.

"strip.". We're both wearing identical matching bra and panties. We both look away from each other as we take them off, too nervous to look- until I feel a yank, hard, on my hair. "No, look right in each other's eyes. Look at her tits. You're both fucking porn, act like it. "

I feel the hand slap my ass. The other girl winces, seeing the pain on my face. "Tell her she's just porn, just like you. She's nothing."

I look at her carefully. Her makeup is running from crying. She's already been beat quite a bit. "You're just porn. You're nothing." She just looks at me silently. "Keep going".

I look right at her. I try to summon up my contempt for her. She could have been so much. Now she's here on her knees in front of me stripped and crying. So vulnerable. "You're a stupid, stupid bitch" I start laying into her. "You're pathetic. No self respecting woman would let this happen to her.". The girl starts sobbing. I feel the approval from behind me and I can't help but start insulting her and betraying her for the approval of the force of that hand in my braid and the validation I know I'll find there if I just do a good enough job tearing down this victim.

I'm going to make her a victim.

"you're shit. You're barely a person, you just sit there and strip and cry.". I start getting into it. I'm masturbating on my knees staring at this helpless naked loser crying. "Go on, cunt, touch yourself while I insult you.". She's touching herself, one hand between her legs and one on her nipple. I can't tell if she's doing it to impress the one behind me or just to self soothe or because- "fuck, you actually like this? You sick puppy. You're not even rape bait, because I don't think you're even capable of having an opinion on who gets to use you. Nobody thinks of you as anything other than a slutty, easy, fuckdoll. You're going to remember this moment for the rest of your life. I hate you. I hope you get drugged and passed around a party. You deserve to be pinned down by somebody and fucked dry. You, oh my god," the hand is twisting in my hair and this poor girl is absolutely sobbing at all the abuse and I'm filled with traitorous contempt as I realize her flush is half crying and half arousal and I see- "you whore. Don't you dare cum. You sick fuck, you rug munching cock sucking ass eating porn making easy access " I think the bitch is actually going to cum, I feel all the approval in the world from behind me as I realize this is what they want, they want to see if I can truly betray this victim they brought for me to abuse to get them off, this is my value to them, to hurt this girl, I go harder, I feel a hand on the back of my neck, "failure, nobody takes you seriously, everybody just imagines putting you on your knees any time you open your stupid mouth, people on the street look at you and imagine raping you, your colleagues call you names behind your back, you're going to be like this forever, you stupid, stupid, stupid-"

I feel, somehow, the pull on my braid that tells me to shut up. I look at the girl I've been tearing down to earn approval. She's quietly crying. Both her hands have come up to her tits. I hear the voice behind me. "Spit on her."

I... hesitate. Do I really hate this poor girl enough to do that, is she, okay with that? Do I care about that more than I care about doing what I'm told? She looks so afraid. She looks so... you know what? She looks like she deserves it. She deserves it.

I spit on the mirror.

"good girl", I hear.

[ashlynnfall]

group project with jayce and vi - arcane x reader

summary: blurb about you being stuck with vi and jayce for a group project

tags: arcane fluff (because we deserve it after this show), no spoilers (but mentions of s2 scenes and characters), silly, stupid, reader insert, school au, no trauma au, hextech exists in this world, somewhat ooc vi and jayce

warnings: cussing

word count: about 2.4k

a/n: this is inspired by the current vi and jayce accomplishing nothing memes. i love that joke so much, so i decided to write a little story about it! also jinx remains as powder in this since no tragedy has happened. this is my first fic ever, so any advice on how to be a better writer would be greatly appreciated! thanks for reading, and i hope you enjoy <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------it's your favorite class about your favorite subject full of your favorite people, so what could go wrong?

literally everything, apparently.

your teacher, mr. heimerdinger, announces a group project to the class. soon after, everyone chatters in excitement because you all like each other, so no matter what, you'll all end up with a good group. he starts calling names and organizing people into groups of three. as the options for your group narrow down, you look around to see who hasn't been called yet.

vi...ekko...ooh mel would be great for this, you think to yourself as you survey the crowd.

"mel, ekko, and caitlyn! you're a group," heimerdinger calls out, causing you and the class to frown.

"ugh, talk about unfair," one student murmurs.

"viktor, skylar, and elora, you're a group."

the options keep getting smaller, and as you look to see who hasn't been grouped yet, a horrible realization hits you. all that's left is you, vi, and...

no.

"jayce," heimerdinger says.

stop it now.

"vi."

this isn't happening.

to your dismay, heimerdinger calls your name. you turn to look at vi and jayce who are sitting next to each other, currently celebrating the pair up.

"hell yeah!" vi exclaims, raising a hand up to high five jayce. jayce enthusiastically moves his hand to hers-

and misses her hand.

seriously, how do you miss an unmoving target?

you watch as these bumbling fools try two more times before they can actually hit the high five.

you've got to be fucking kidding me.

jayce talis, the golden boy of the grade. he's a genius inventor with incredible ideas that will take him far in life. known to be smart and charismatic, most people would love to be grouped up with him for any assignment. as one of heimerdinger's star pupils, being his partner should be good news right?

wrong.

vi, the cool girl of the grade. she's not the most academically gifted person, but she does all of her work and tries her hardest to contribute to the group. she's known to be an amazing fighter and has a gift for making people feel better. rumor has it that caitlyn kiramman once went on a total rampage after losing her mother's expensive necklace. she was a raging asshole for a week, spewing mean things to anyone who stood in her way. vi was out sick for that week, so there was no one to console caitlyn.

when vi returned to school, she called caitlyn "cupcake" one time, causing her to switch sides immediately, reverting back to the sweet girl she's known to be. oh, and vi found the necklace too!

so a team up between a boy genius and a girl with a big heart should be amazing news. however, despite all of their incredible traits, when jayce and vi work together, all of that shit disappears.

they've been paired up together for projects before, and they're the only ones who love this match up. everyone else reacts in horror.

they're always onto absolutely nothing, cooking up plans and ideas that fail so miserably, it's almost impressive. during a lesson on hextech, they had the simple task of using a comically large hammer to aim and hit a target. the hammer was too big for vi to hold alone, so they used the power of friendship to hold it up together. they aimed for the target, and shot a blast.

it completely missed.

in fact, they missed so bad, that it ended up shooting through a window, resulting in it completely shattering. students had to dive for cover from flying glass shards. this prompted a severe tongue lashing from a very angry heimerdinger, who now had to pay for window repairs and do paperwork.

there was another time where they were sparring with some older classmates, got way too into the fight. they were in the middle of hyping each other up when a kid accidentally got in the way of their brawl. they totally knocked him on his ass, the poor thing got sent straight to the ground.

he recovered soon after, but he went home with a bloody nose the day of the impact. jayce was the one who dealt the punch, so he was wracked with guilt for the child he just injured. he sent the family some flowers as an apology, to which the mom responded with dead roses and a note saying: "eat shit".

he is not popular in that family.

knowing you're in for a disaster, you accept your fate, and walk over to a beaming jayce and vi. they are so excited to be partnered up with you, and it would be sweet sight if they weren't, well, them.

"this project is due next class, so please decide on a time outside of school to complete this. we have a lecture to finish," heimerdinger instructs.

vi offers her house, to which you and jayce agree. you're supposed to meet there about four hours from now, which isn't nearly enough time for you to prepare for the bullshit.

here we go.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

four hours later, you're knocking on vi's door, trying to calm your already spiked nerves. it swings open to reveal a small girl with two blue braids.

"hi!" powder exclaims as she wraps you into a tight hug. it's been a while since you've seen vi's little sister, and you're relieved to know that at least one person in this house has sanity.

the two of you catch up for a bit while you wait for vi to bring you upstairs. powder tells you about her little crush on ekko, rambling happily about their adventures while you laugh at their antics.

ten minutes pass and vi still hasn't come down to get you, so now you're annoyed. that annoyance quickly turns into concern as a loud bang from upstairs shakes the entire house.

what the hell?

you and powder rush upstairs to see what the commotion is about. nearly ripping vi's bedroom door off its hinges in fear, you two run inside to make sure everyone's alright.

you look at the scene with disappointment as you see dumb and dumber standing in shock, eyes directed to the damage they just created. there's a giant dent in the floor, no doubt made by the hammer in jayce's hand. vi's giant gauntlets are at her side, which leads you to infer that they were sparring before the impact.

jayce is always doing some type of extreme damage with that hammer, you facepalm as you take in the scene.

you give them both a withering glare then yell at their foolishness.

"you idiots do realize that we're supposed to improve the hextech, not destroy buildings with it, right?"

powder runs downstairs to tell uncle vander what happened, and you sigh in frustration while the other two carefully set their weapons onto the ground.

"sooo...we should get started on the project now, yeah?" jayce offers as his hand rubs the back of his neck, clearly trying to fix the mood.

you let out an exasperated sigh.

"yeah, let's get started."

vi and jayce add another disastrous duo moment to their record. you've lost count of all their failures at this point.

during the entire project, they say stupid ideas or do reckless things. jayce swings the hammer around with zero regard for his surroundings, and laughs whenever vi sticks up her middle finger in the gauntlets. whenever one of them says something that sounds remotely smart, the other one says, "EXACTLYYYYY."

"do you think if we wrap the hammer in foam, we can prevent it from breaking things?" vi asks jayce, who shoots her a look of disbelief.

"you can't be serious," he responds in a critical tone.

you nearly jump for joy as you watch their interaction. for the first time ever, there's hope that one of them will finally be smart in the other one's presence.

"we should wrap it in air pillows, not foam. regardless, that's a great idea! we should test it out," jayce enthuses as he reaches for the hammer.

your hope shatters into a million pieces, just like that window they destroyed.

"no, no, no, no, no!" you interject as you swat his hand away, preventing them from causing more destruction.

"what crawled up your ass today?" jayce asks, offended by your behavior.

"heimerdinger's foot definitely did because you keep screwing up on his exams. don't hate on us because you have a D in this class," vi insults as she completely airs out your business in front of jayce.

jayce yells "OHHHHH" in response, then goes to dap up vi for flaming you. putting your head in your hands, you practice deep breathing so you don't completely lose your shit. it's not your fault that runes and hex crystals are so confusing!

uncle vander stops by shortly after the argument to inspect the damage, loses his mind, then goes to call uncle silco for assistance. you, vi, and jayce continue the project and pretend like vander isn't infuriated with all of you. you didn't even do anything but you still get wrapped up in this mess.

halfway through the project, vi gets a facetime call from caitlyn, to which she immediately responds. if you had a dime for every time vi called her "cupcake", you'd be a millionaire.

things get even more annoying when jayce gets a facetime call from mel, who he also immediately responds to. your friends yap to their girlfriends while you continue working on the project, silently reflecting on how terrible your luck is.

despite their annoying tendencies and horrific performance as a duo, they're somewhat helpful during the project. jayce uses his hextech knowledge to create solid ideas for improving the weapons. the secret to getting him to be his genius self? tell vi she isn't allowed to speak or be in the room while he works. you gave the same rule to jayce when it was vi's turn to contribute, and she actually came up with solid ideas for weapon functionality and protection.

turns out, separating them is a brilliant idea. you mentally pat yourself on the back for your effective plan.

the three of you finish the project and decide to do a movie night in celebration. jayce and vi miraculously land a high five first try, which makes you smile. they then take turns giving you a high five, making your smile wider. the pair gets too confident and tries to do a complicated handshake, which per usual, goes terribly.

jayce accidentally smacks vi (how does this even happen?), and vi punches his arm in return. the two playfully duke it out while you pull out your phone to record them for your private story. you caption the video "mfs when they horrifically fumble a situationship".

when they finish the fight, you realize you can't be their babysitter anymore. desperate to not be stuck with the moron brigade, you ask to invite the rest of the friend group, and vi agrees, complimenting you for coming up with a great idea.

"it's pretty easy to have great ideas when you two are full of terrible ones," powder shouts from the kitchen.

even though vi is taller, older, and arguably stronger, she is always getting destroyed by powder in a verbal battle. it's what makes their dynamic so amazing. vi opens her mouth to shout something back, but you put your hand on her shoulder and shake your head, letting her know it's no use arguing back.

about thirty minutes later, you're sitting in the living room with vi, jayce, mel, caitlyn, ekko, viktor, skylar, elora, powder and her new friend isha, claggor, and milo. you all watch a comedy movie to unwind from the stress of the day, and soon become thoroughly entertained by the movie's ridiculous humor. jayce and vi throw popcorn at each other, which annoys everyone. knowing there was no stopping them, you and mel make a bet on who will win. you choose vi and she chooses jayce like a supportive girlfriend.

mel slides you a crisp five dollar bill halfway through the movie.

as you sit and watch, surrounded by your friends who are full of the happiness and light that they deserve, you decide that maybe a group project with vi and jayce didn't turn out to be such a bad thing after all.

the hangout is full of jokes, silly arguments, laughs, and unbridled joy. even vander and silco stop by to check in on everyone from time to time, smiling at each other as they reminisce about their days as students. whenever those two enter the room, vi and jayce's bodies go rigid with stillness, trying to attract as little attention as possible from the angry set of uncles.

it was an amazing night of bonding with your friends and basking in the comfort of good company. you make a mental note to plan more of these, hoping to give your friends the enjoyment they deserve. when the movie ends, everyone gets off the couches to clean up as they discuss their thoughts on the movie. vi approaches you with a big grin on her face, then has the audacity to deliver the following line:

"this was so fun, the three of us should totally be partners again!"

since you're in such high spirits, you consider giving jayce and vi another chance. maybe they aren't all that disastrous, and maybe, just maybe, they can prove to be a competent duo-

"totally! for our next project we should try seeing how powerful a hextech blast can get! maybe we should go to the park and shoot it into the sky?" jayce schemes while vi's face lights up in excitement at the prospect of another hextech hangout.

never mind, you roll your eyes and mentally chastise yourself for even thinking of giving this another shot. these morons couldn't find a way out of their own asses if they were handed a map.

you fervently shut down their plan before they try making any more.

"absolutely not."

jayce and vi are definitely going down in history as one of the worst duos of all time.

[hryniewiecki]

Grand Arcane S2 review

because I really need it to move on

Remember how I mentioned I could write an entire book about everything that went wrong with this season? Well, this is what a little excerpt from it would look like.

Let's start with a personal note to clarify my relationship with this hell of a piece of media.

S1 was this miracle show that was able to break through the several years of depression and anhedonia and make me interested in something, make me try to get back into making art (or at least try to try), to put myself out there on the internet a bit, to try be a part of something and not ashamed of enjoying it, which I never allowed myself before. Coincidentally, I've been at what I thought then was the worst place in my life when it aired and it helped me a lot to get through it. I didn't even think I would make it to see S2, as thee years felt like forever then. Taking all that into consideration, I think you can already tell where this is going.

I honestly thought I was prepared for S2 not being good, as no show could be this perfect. Turns out I wasn't prepared at all. Act 1 made me very happy, so happy I watched it two times, but the rest is something I would've never watch again and rather forget about.

The characters I wanted to see the most were Warwick (body horror, The Wrath of Zaun haunting the streets - got just a glimpse of that, but it felt like nothing) and Viktor (cyborgs and cyber gore, misunderstood idealist, Blitzcrank - got basically nothing; the idea was kinda there somewhere, but got changed so much it didn't matter at all).

I can't believe they took a godforsaken champion like Viktor and not only ruined his story completely, but also managed to fuck up everything else by all of a sudden making him a center of all of this mess. The center being the arcane/hextech/magic, which never even gets resolved/explained. Still no idea why it got corrupted and what was the nature of it; the void was never taken anywhere despite being heavily hinted - everything was evil because it was, but luckily the magic of friendship saved us!! (I'll get to that)

Speaking of crucial plotlines that weren't taken anywhere.. Basically every character got screwed over and made empty. Let's use Vi for a quick example (may not actually be the best example, but hopefully you'll get what I mean) - when I saw the pit fighter scene released early, I expected to see it have a continuation in the show, but instead it ended up just being the exact same music video, nothing more. And that goes for some more events - they get compressed into music videos that make it all incredibly hollow. Fight scenes are fine like this, sure, but not something that was supposed to be a bit more emotional and serious. Anyway, they successfully made me hate most of the characters. Either hate or just straight up not recognize them, and in a bad way.

Long story short the pacing is awful (it only gets back to normal in ep7, as it resembles the structure of S1) and the writing sucks ass. I can't for the love of god believe it was written alongside S1. There's no way in hell - it's literally all the worst fan theories I've seen come to life and get mixed with fanservice. *puts on a tinfoil hat* Maybe this is the real why they needed an extra year or two, as S2 was initially supposed to be released earlier. No way in hell the same people who wrote S1 and cared so much about the characters would do anything like this. Riot must've gotten heavily involved, making us believe they cut the story short (I think 5 seasons in Piltover/Zaun were planned initially?) for the benefit of it, but all it really was is greed - let's make a bunch of bullshit happen and quickly move to another region to sell more skins for new champions.

Now let's get back to the ending. Man, it really had it all - the nonsense, the multiverse bullshit which basically makes nothing make sense anymore (if there was anything left), the (yes, I'm going to say it, because that's exactly what I felt) cringe and embarrassment. Never seen anything more hollow trying to convince me it was deep and emotional (sums up the whole show perfectly).

How the hell the only thing that was supposed to save Viktor from himself was Jayce telling him he's perfect the way he is? Sure, don't try to cure your illness (that my city caused, but "fortunately" another crucial part of the plot, which is the sister cities conflict, ceased to exist), it makes you beautiful, this is who you are (miserable, unwanted, feeling meaningless and like a burden, dying). I am at loss of words.

Now buckle up jayvik fans. I wasn't a fan of the ship as I'm not a fan of any ships in general, but now I despise it. I wouldn't mind if they actually went on with it, which no, they didn't. We don't want two men kissing (women making out is fine tho, won't make the gamers too angry), so let's play extra safe to make sure it could be explained as any type of other close bond (and that's exactly what Christian Linke does when asked about it). You disgusting cowards, either you show me this in plain sight and I wouldn't give it a second thought, or don't even try bring it up at all (and you can't deny it wasn't implied in S1 with all the Viktor's looks and parallels to Mel).

Where do I even begin? Because I don't think you have any idea on how many levels it actually sucks. If you read it as romantic it's basically telling me that if I was a gay man struggling with my feelings and not being able to confess for years, because I'm convinced I'm unworthy of love as something is inherently wrong with me, then the best I could get after surviving all this (what honestly seems like hell) is a hug, because you're ashamed of me and thus I should be ashamed of who I am till the very end.

Something equally bad is Jayce finding out (or rather we finding out) how wonderful the world could look like if he let go of his beautiful dream, his life's work, and killed himself - it never gets denied, as the corruption of hextech doesn't get explained.

Long story short, if you're struggling with your mental health, trauma issues, disability or any of the problems the characters you related to deal with, this show spits you in the face.

I could go on forever about everything that's wrong (even Jinx got played dirty), but let's finish with the few things I liked: act 1 was promising (it's when I believed they could still make sense of Viktor), fun Sevika's arcade arm fight, the epic fight at the Janna's temple (Woodkid goat), Jayce killing Salo (I felt something) and Jayce's glitchy madness in general, young Vander flashback (felt something), ep7 and Singed's story (the only one that makes any sense).

Other than that the show left me with nothing but void in my heart (I guess that's when it all went). The saddest thing being the masses love it anyway, as it seems they'll watch anything that's colorful enough. And Riot will make lots of money of off it, because in the end they never loose. I'm not denying Fortiche absolutely outdid themselves with the art, it's just heartbreaking nothing else even remotely stands up to it.

[cognitiveleague]

Just opened FB and saw one of the most baffling “my good bitch, he would not say that” -inducing takes I think I’ve ever seen about a character: transphobic Luffy

Like… the guy who canonically thinks every one of the several GNC, ambiguously genderfluid/genderqueer people he’s met is a) cool as Hell, and b) a person to affectionately refer to with -chan if that feels like it would be affirming for whatever gender situation they’ve got going on? That guy? That Luffy????

For fuck’s sake, Bon Clay was introduced as far back as the first main plot arc after they get to where the plot happens, and like, ok, not everything Oda wrote 20 years ago has aged perfectly, but Bon-chan has *always* been presented as neither exclusively male nor female, and as brave, earnest, caring, and someone Luffy admires and respects.

And it’s even more confusing if they’re up to date on canon! Queens and queers are explicitly shown as the heart and soul of the Revolutionary Army! A trans woman gets outed to Luffy and his only reaction is “wait, I thought you were a girl?” followed immediately by “oh, ok” and nothing changing! He meets a trans man with big ol’ titties and is briefly confused, then shifts immediately to calling him by a pointedly masculine nickname and otherwise treating him exactly the same as any other guy, up to and including hanging out with him in the men’s hot spring with The Boys after that arc’s plot gets wrapped up! The only person who’s weird about his inclusion for the Hot Springs Episode with The Boys is Sanji, who has Chronic Can’t Be Normal About Boobs disorder!

Like I know transphobic trolls will do what they do and are probably being dumb as hell on purpose, whatever, but I’m genuinely not sure I could come up with a major character in any mainstream anime, shonen or otherwise, for whom being transphobic is more demonstrably, canonically, pointedly OOC???

(Which isn’t even touching on the points of “my boy is clearly SOME type of aromantic and/or asexual” or “seriously I think HIS gender is Future Pirate King; why would he care about gender, he can’t eat that OR fistfight it in the parking lot behind Arby’s at some ungodly hour”)

[cottoncandybitchfuck]

Burrows End

“It’s interesting to watch someone go from wanting to survive, to wanting to live” -Teedles

“It’s better to go together than to go alone” -Viola

"Gentle parenting is an aspiration but sometimes you have to tell these kids to get out of this fucking bear"-Brennan Lee Mulligan 

"We prepare for the worst that could happen, and the worst has happened and you’re still alive."-Viola

"The truth is that the blue, the monsters, the dust in the air, all that, the real reason that grown-ups talk about this like they have a big secret is because we're scared too. Because as much as you think we know everything, the biggest secret of all is we mostly don’t. And that’s what we hide from you. The thing we hide from the kids isn’t that we know everything it’s that we don’t know everything. Cause we don’t want you to be scared." -Tula

“I can’t put any more effort into being a daughter”- Tula

“You can’t guarantee safety. You can’t guarantee that you get to hold onto everyone forever. What you do get to choose is who you love.” -Tula 

“This isn’t just corruption it’s power. But is there a good type of power?”-Viola

“I’ve seen very powerful people collect power, and I’ve seen un-powerful people do what they can to get by, and I think the things they both have in common is none of them ever seem to have any choice about what happens next. I wouldn’t spend life chasing power. It’s hard enough just to chase happiness” -Tula

“Funerals are so often not for the dead, but for the people they leave behind.”-Aabria Iyengar

“How can you not look back when something sees you?” -Aabria

“If we’re in the dark we know nothing, and if we know nothing, we’re not safe.” -Thorn

“I think the truth is, the monsters were always going to be coming back.” -Sybil

“What are a bunch of monsters to all of us and everything we can do?” -Sybil

“Whatever we have discovered, these monsters were clever enough to make, and they do know it better than us. No matter how much we are obsessed with it, confident that we can harness it, the sky and the water. That’s the blue. That’s where we come from. For all we know, where it comes from is these monsters. So I don’t know where this confidence comes from, but if confidence could keep you alive, then Geoffery would still be here.”-Tula

“There’s always something unknown and scary, monsters in the dark trying to get you, but when you find something in people that can help push that back, you hang onto that.” -Ava

“The radical change that can happen when you are kind in the face of doom can change the battlefield.” -Tula

“Look around us, there is nothing but death, and all I can see is people squabbling.” -Thorn

“If you want power so badly, you have it.” -Bennett

“I think that someone who kills other beings to absorb how they live is something that wants power more than any person I’ve ever seen.” -Viola

“We’ve spoken a lot about hope and a lot about survival, maybe there is something else that we can do that isn’t just pushing them back and hoping that  they don’t come back with a bigger and bigger thing and scarier truck and all these things that will end all of our lives.” -Thorn

“A little pro tip, don’t do a bunch of mass murder, without having a little plan first.” -Olliver

“It was unlucky that we lost dad, and it was lucky that we had you.” -Tula

“Well I don’t like thinking about luck because if things happen by chance , then that means I have no control over what happens to you two or your kids.” -Ava

“You can’t lead with your fists” -Viola

“Chaos is good from time to time, but so is order. There’s a balance. You have to be able to embrace change, but you also have to be able to know when there is structure needed.” -Tula

“Power exists. Power should make you sad and tired. Anyone who seems to like power is suspect.”-Tula

[afterschoolcrewz]

911 episode theory that’s most likely going to be wrong but this time for episode’s nine and ten

so we know three things going forward to the next episode: (a. eddie is considering moving to texas (b. he’s gonna be wearing a white button-up and (c. maddie is getting kidnapped .. What i think is going to happen is that he’s going to settle on a house around the start of episode nine, and he’s gonna go to texas to take an in-person tour (hence the white button-up that we know he wouldn’t wear otherwise and follows the outfit he wore for the virtual tour). buck’s gonna be moping about this and self-isolating because he’s going to be sad about eddie leaving and the main plot going on amongst all the buddie drama is that maddie is going to be investigating a suspicious call against athena’s advice because buckley’s are just. insanely nosy. then she snoops too far and gets kidnapped. YAY! episode ends with everybody finding out about maddie getting kidnapped and chimney is trying to keep it together for jee, but buck “abandonment issues” buckley is going to crash out.

QUEUE EPISODE TEN i accidentally deleted this whole paragraph okay so in a way similar to the doug episode and the taking of 911 dispatch, chimney, athena, and buck are gonna be at the forefront of the call with the whole 118 involved in the background. eventually they’re going to find out the location and buck, who is having the worst month of his life (because there’s like barely any time-skip 😭) is gonna devalue his life and rush in and do something stupid to save maddie (who’s probably been trying her best to fight back like the doug episode). he gets shot in the process but athena chimney and the rest of the 118 rush in right in time and get the buckley siblings go the hospital. meanwhile eddie has been in texas and everybody’s been too busy freaking out about the active abduction taking place to notify him, so he’s just been touring houses in person, noting how even though they looked good during the virtual tour, nothing has “felt right” yet in-person (because buck’s been doing the virtual tours/house-hunting with him as previously offered). then he goes to chris to tell him he’s moving to el paso to be with him and chris is like dad what the fuck no???? because all he really wanted was eddie to come get him and showed him he cared. Awkward! anyway right after this he gets a call from the hospital because he’s buck’s emergency contact. he promises christopher that he loves him and would do anything for him and that he really wants him to come back but he has to leave because buck’s been really badly hurt and christopher’s like well i’m coming with you duh. and as they’re heading over eddie realizes that he should have never even considered leaving buck (shannon flashbacks perhaps) boom feelings realization, cute scenes at the end with madney family reunion and buckley-diaz family reunion in the hospital as both buckley’s wake up to their children and love interests Yay!

[lord-squiggletits]

Hostage not in the sense that he/Delphi were physically captured or held under duress, but more accurately described as blackmail: the deal with Tarn, according to Pharma, was explicitly that Pharma would deliver t-cogs and in return the DJD would allow Delphi and everyone in it to continue standing. So it was a literal "do it or we'll kill you" kind of danger that was even worse because Delphi is described as a 'small, obscure little facility on the edge of DJD territory.' So even if they attempted to weather a full on attack, it's unlikely that they would be able to hold off the DJD simply because Delphi is that small, under-supported, and forgotten. I mean, the entire medical staff is literally just three people to support a mine that supposedly has soldiers constantly fighting over it in a stalemate.

We can easily assume Pharma didn't want to do it given that the entire premise of the deal was "t-cogs or we kill all of you," and up until that point (only shown in flashbacks in later issues) Pharma was by all reasonable standards an ethical doctor, and an exceptionally genius one as well, AND was friends with Ratchet and next in line to be CMO. So in terms of personality, behavior, work ethic, skill, and connections, every single sign points to the fact that Pharma was a perfectly normal, non-violent and non-malpracticing doctor.

Canon doesn't really say that Pharma developed a mad doctor personality to cope with the trauma, but everyone in fandom takes that as canon pretty much because nothing else makes sense. Normal doctor -> T-cog deal happens -> Crazy doctor = We can assume that the blackmail deal of being forced to let patients die and then outright kill them probably had something to do with Pharma going fucking nuts. (Plus in fanon a lot of people point out that Pharma looks like he's displaying signs of mental illness, YMMV which one depending on the person.)

And yeah, Pharma does get labeled as a bad person for being a victim of blackmail and torture. It's not like the narrative doesn't establish how horrible the DJD are until later issues; literally in the same issues (4-5) that the Delphi arc happens, we hear gossip from the Autobots that say 1. Apparently just seeing the DJD kill someone can be incredibly traumatizing in the long-term 2. Decepticons would rather die of their wounds than be treated by an Autobot doctor out of fear of being labeled a traitor by the DJD and 3. After Pharma has his freak out moment and shoots/runs, Drift literally tells Ratchet that if Pharma is working with the DJD and they're coming, he wants Ratchet to kill him before they can get to him.

Not even getting into all the issues AFTER the Delphi arc where the DJD only get more and more obscene, overpowered, and terrifying, and every single other time the handiwork of the DJD attacking Autobots is shown, it's stuff like alt-Rewind being a whimpering mess and people going "shhh it's okay" to him or Skids going "the DJD are so powerful and sadistic, can you imagine what it would've been like to be here when this happened?"

But Pharma? No, he's just a mad doctor who made the t-cog deal because he's selfish and only wanted to spare his reputation 🙄 clearly the reason he got trapped in a do-or-die blackmail deal is because he was always secretly a bad person or had something mentally wrong with him (fanon). Or, in terms of canon, "Welp it sucks that Pharma went crazy and started killing patients, he used to be such a good doctor it's such a shame" (never once acknowledges that Pharma didn't just "go insane" randomly and what he did was a direct result of threats of torture/probably actually being tortured).

Unfriendly reminder that out of all the victims of the DJD Pharma is literally the only one who's victim-blamed for not fighting back/calling for help/running when it was obviously impossible for him to do so + is the only one whose traumatic behavior/symptoms are framed as a reason why he's evil and deserves abandonment/death. Because he's also the ONLY victim of the DJD whose trauma manifests as lashing out and behaving erratically/aggressively, because there's no easier way to victim-blame than to pick a victim whose trauma response is ugly and scary and creepy and not uwu tragic sad traumatized