#dysphoria cw

[noahsfault]

So excited to not have boobs

Literally thrilled at the concept of not having to bind

Oh my god I can’t wait to get dressed and just wear the first tee shirt I put on

I can’t wait to not spend three hours before every social event trying on all of my clothes over and over and then canceling because I can’t find anything to leave the house in

I can’t wait to start dressing according to my own taste instead of what makes me look flat chested enough

I can’t wait to give away the clothes that I don’t need anymore

I can’t wait to have top surgery

I can’t freaking wait

[cyellolemon]

A comic about Olive, and his meeting with the guy who could have ruined his life if it wasn't already so fucked up

[sillycatt8]

this. it’s not ‘feeling insecure’ it can send me into a panic attack and it will sometimes make me want to harm myself.

[mxwhore]

martin 1 (next - file)

[soullessjack]

who else does this 😂

[nothwell]

Chapter Eight of Theo - a transmasc historical MM romance inspired by Little Women - is up on Patre♡n, wherein our heroes prepare for a ball.

~

“There!” Myrtle declared. “A perfect little woman!”

Against his better judgment, Theo opened his eyes.

A young woman stood before him. She had a strong jaw, a long nose, sharp cheekbones, full brows, and long lashes. Her chestnut hair had gathered in a pile atop her head, and the neckline of her gown sank very low indeed, leaving nothing in between to hide her slender neck or her shoulders as straight as a soldier’s. Indeed, her gown came down far enough to reveal the top of her bosom, not particularly ample but appearing moreso as her corset forced it up. Her narrow waist kept the fashion, as did her voluminous skirts. No trace of a smile graced her lips, though their curve and color compelled the eye regardless. She had altogether a proud stance, as if the cage of the crinoline could scarce contain her, and she seemed the sort of woman Theo would like to know.

Then her lips parted for breath in time with his own, and with a horrible jolt, he recalled the face he stared into supposedly belonged to him.

~

Joining me on Patre♡n will give you access to “drawer fic” – aka the 500k+ words worth of manuscripts that have been shelved until I figure out how to fix or finish them. You'll also be invited to join an exclusive Discord server just for patrons!

A new chapter will go up every week. Missing (unwritten) scenes will be indicated by brackets describing what would probably happen if the scene were written. Example: [in this scene Aubrey and Lindsey ride a carousel]

Currently posting… ♡ Theo. (transmasc historical mm romance)

Completed works... ♡ the Aubrey & Lindsey solar fantasy project (mm) ♡ A Willing Canvas - John Halloway x Lord Cyril Graves (mm) ♡ The Train Job - Rowena Althorp x Rebekah (ff) ♡ Hold Fast 2 - Hold Faster (mm) ♡ Vampires Vampires Vampires (mmm) ♡ The Sebastian Nothwell Contemporary Expanded Universe (mmm+)

See you on Patre♡n!

[branzart]

Please only touch me where I'm real

[noahsfault]

The thighs are rlly out here today & I feel very ftm about it 😑

[darkmetaknightspussy]

angel of the cosmos

[dee-the-red-witch]

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

It's natural. Normal.

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

You're still a girl even if this is your third round today.

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

You could just leave it be. You're not going out tonight.

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

Or you can stare at the pock-scars left underneath the patches.

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

And feel every fresh folicle like a scream.

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

The work's dirty, shouldn't need to be done in the first place.

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

And the razor is too close and pure a friend to demean like this.

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

But you want to look in the mirror. And touch your own cheek.

Scrape. Rasp. Raw. Rinse. Repeat.

So you lather, heat the water, and go again.

[the-kinfesssional]

MAN im tired ok

robots (this also goes for beings that are stuck in a computer, i just dont know how to word that) are another thing that i kin a lot of, both fictionkin and just being a robot otherkin. i dont normally get dysphoria for them but its started to flare up really bad to the point i start crying and then people ask me why and i cant tell them :sobss:

what do you even do for robotkin dysphoria anyway??? wrap yourself in tinfoil???

also on the topic of robots im The Daycare Attendant from fnaf and the rare pair of Glamrock chica x Eclipse from my canon is something i love talking about even though i dont have anything else to say about it other then "yeah it happened"

ALSO ALSO i got a sewing machine and am working on cosplays >:3333 might force get my little sister to do a duo cosplay w/ me or smth cuz she likes most of the same stuff i do

mk i might try to sleep through this dysphoria buh bye nowww <3

-✨🍝

Shit. Never thought about the robotkin dysphoria sort of stuff. I'll think about it. Try to sleep it though, ig.

[venndaai]

I’m really not having a good time living as a man but I don’t want to face up to it because I don’t want to change my body or put intense daily effort into altering my appearance to one that I don’t like, so there’s nothing to do about it but be miserable.

[mmmmalo]

Egbert’s sense of vocal alienation in Act 1 -- insisting desperately that a fire BELONGS in a fireplace as the prose becomes uncharacteristically florid, the quotes wrongly attributed -- lends itself to June readings insofar as feeling like your voice is out of joint with your body maps well to a certain experience of dysphoria. In that same spirit, I’ve wondered if John’s blue apple was not only an allusion to the Fall of Man as a narrative (and with it John’s fear of heights, notions of the apple as a symbol of Truth, Eden as a figure of nostalgia, etc), but also to the Adam’s Apple as a (somewhat false, but culturally resonant) symbol of sexual difference. Like even the entry item was a provocation akin to Karkat’s planet of red blood...

But I could never make sense of the other kids’ entry items as provocations, at least not in a way that maps neatly to the context of the objects’ introductions. Is Rose’s bottle a symptom of Mom’s alcoholism being a sensitive subject? Is the notion of a message in a bottle applicable to Jaspers’ maddening secret? Would Jade flinch at being likened to a piñata? Has this to do with her corpse being stuffed? Does Dave want a cloaca, or is he concerned about an apparent inability to spread his wings in a more abstract sense? It’s easy enough to feel around for evocative possibilities but nothing comes across as especially firm.

[deiscension]

I think about SQX's physical traits and how they changed as she aged not only as indications of her growing into herself as a person, but how safe, stable, and happy she feels as well. This can be applied to all verses/AUs, just swap out canon event mentions for what I've written in place of them. The long and short of it is I believe in stick-thin short-stack Qingxuan --> tall and limber and curvaceous but not just in the hourglass way, in the 'gained weight and wears it with pride' way. #Pudgy tummy SQX advocate.

Chubby wubby tubby baby Qingxuan grows into chubby wubby tubby toddler Qingxuan. Any physical ailments that were caused by the initial fever of The Reverend’s curse are either hardly there at all or nonexistent. Adorable round cheeks. Laughs at anything and everything. What more is there for me to say really.

The baby fat does it’s best to cling to her past early childhood but once she starts approaching the double digits it’s all but disappeared. Her relatives depleting most of Shi siblings’ inheritance implies living well past their means up until each of their untimely demises at the behest of the curse, so it’s not from lack of good food so much as genetics.

Pre-teen and teenage years SQX is about as lanky as you can get. All elbows and knees. Bird legs and stick arms. Mostly genetics again, but now there’s the added anxiety of being hunted down by The Reverend. Food was available enough as implied by her trying to take a food box to SWD while he was up in the mountains, though I’m left to wonder what quality and kind— the necessary staples obviously, but inheritance being depleted + what they do have being painstakingly split between provisions and paying to cultivate under a master + little to no income (I HIGHLY doubt SWD would’ve even suffered the thought of SQX doing any sort of payable work, all things from her age (around 11 when they initially ran away iirc, and any work a no-name teenager could get likely wouldn't be safe work) to his pride considered) = getting by alright but in a rather pitiable way. Wouldn’t do amazing things for a teen’s appetite I imagine. Nonetheless she’s still healthy, even if reedy in build. Kind of kid who would try to hold herself with pristine grace, yet end up stomping and tromping about. Aging into full teenage years she would fill out some but not by too terribly much. Descriptors would likely have changed from “lanky” to “slender”, “awkward” to “willowy”.

Her Middle Court days are when she gets some meat on her bones in terms of musculature and fat. I base my headcanons off a mix of donghua visuals + novel descriptions and my own applied fancies. While she did indeed live a lavish life as soon as her brother brought her into the Middle Court, it wasn’t necessarily a wholly idle one. She was described as “the bellwether of the Middle Court.” Out and about, doing this and that. Softened arms and legs would shape up despite her not needing them to— she’s always been the type to do what wasn’t asked of her, to go gallivanting about and push her freedom to its limits. Eventually it would show in her physical build. But she’s not known as The Young Lord Pouring Wine for nothing. Her perfectly flat stomach softens, hips no longer all sharp edges, cheeks round once again.

As a goddess, she doesn’t change much about her build. Everything feels perfect. Hourglass figure accentuated with more curve rather than cinched at the ribs and waist, arms and legs sitting pretty on the line of elegantly toned and full. There’s a little thrill of joy for her every time she moves a certain way and a fold of fat nestles along her waistline, feels the weight of her well-endowed chest pressing snugly against her hanfu, notices the way her inner robes sometimes cling to the curve of hip or thigh or stomach. Her body is most like home regardless of form when it meets her standards and not what's expected of her— it’s a hallmark of safety and happiness, and though she doesn’t quite understand it, the perceived femininity she craves.

Bonus -- post BW arc, she's back to being a reed; gaunt and hollow from shock and the demands of being a no-name beggar and wanderer. There's no trace of that elegant, lavish Wind Master. But it is still her, and she has learned to love the body that was always meant for her. That's not to say she doesn't miss how safety and abundance settled on her frame in ways she would dream of as a longing, terror-stricken child. She's making peace with the fact it never belonged to her, and it was a blessing unearned that she was afforded the privilege as Lady Qingxuan rather than just Feng. Ask her if she's still pretty, she'll say yes with a wink.

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

You can’t get your body to produce more t with the sheer force of will but you can look at other transmascs’ transition progress photos and cry

[boyslit]

just realized i hate myself in the summer bc i can't dress in layers

i can't wear my leather jacket and boots and jeans

and the sweat under my tits just reminds me they're there 😭