#dysphoria vent

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

I love that being true to myself also feels like betraying myself haha just kidding I fucking hate it so much

[thelensart]

One of the most genuinely painful things you discover when transitioning, one that's been striking me a lot lately, is that "acceptance" is mostly reserved for you if you can pass and be conventionally beautiful. When you can't, a lot of people don't make the effort, and don't want you in their spaces. You realize that, even in accepting spaces, folks will regard some transitions as "impressive" or "successful", and will be real quiet about you. You'll have to play it male if you want to get hired at a job. Of course, conditional acceptance isn't really acceptance. At least for me, it made me quite cynical; made me avoid a lot of social interaction.

Good part? I'd rather be an uncomfortable "oh", a free ticket freak show on a train, than just a normal non-assuming guy. I've never been happier with my body, and, with time, you learn to love being a weirdo, because, if that's mostly the kind of acceptance that's reserved for trans people, then I don't wanna fit in.

[soullessjack]

who else does this 😂

[organicclown]

why couldnt i be cis? everything sucks and being born wrong isnt helping

[unkownknowledge]

Criminal that I do not has boobs nor someone to cuddle against them

[karl-marxs-lil-pogchamp]

Something I don't understand is how other AFAB people can just be so blasé about periods. Like, doesn't it depress you guys? Knowing that you're doomed to suffer silently, dozens of times a year for almost the rest of your life? Just because you were born a certain way? How can people be normal about that? I practically (not quite, but almost) go through a whole dang depressive episode every month, I'm literally going through one now.

How do y'all do it? /gen

[sadghostgirl14]

[salamanding]

Art about dysphoria

[meloodium]

I hate the way my voice sounds I hate the way my body looks I hate talking to people I hate compliments I hate that people love me I hate that I want love I hate myself

[flowers-but-gay]

dysphoria kicking my ass lmao. wish i had gender

[m3l4nch0ly-h1ll]

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm faking being trans. Maybe I misinterpreted something in my past. Maybe I missed something.

But I don't want to be a woman in any aspect. Feminine, masculine, androgynous, whatever. I like female aesthetics, but not on myself. Not for myself. I don't enjoy being a woman in any form.

But what if I'm just experiencing internal misogyny and can't realize it? What if I'm just a masculine/androgynous woman?

My discomfort in being a woman doesn't stem from trauma or believing in misogyny. (ie. Women can be strong, but I don't want to be strong as a woman. Sure, it's cool and a get-back at men, but as much as I tried enjoying being a woman in any form, I couldn't.)

Only time will tell.

[rashoumon-homo]

PSA: If you post bsd x reader content that explicitly describes the reader as female (esp. smut) and you DON’T mark it as:

fem reader / fem!reader

f!reader

female reader

or anything like that

I AM STEALING YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS

Pls god I’ve put every warning I can think of in the tag and content filters but some people just straight up don’t mention it and suddenly “breast” “princess” “girl” etc and I recoil into myself like a snail who just got its eyes poked.

(This goes for any x reader content tbh, I just mention bsd in particular because that’s where I’ve had the most issue.)

Remember: female is not the default!!

[bl00dylavender]

sometimes.

most of the time i’m okay when i’m around you. most of the time i’m me and i’m myself. most of the time we are just two friends laughing together. but there are sometimes. sometimes my dysphoria takes over. and i become a different person. and it makes me hate you. it makes me hate your voice and your muscles and your jokes and your laugh and everything else in between. it makes me angry. it makes me feel robbed. because that should be me. that should be me. i should have the flat chest and the deep voice and the boyish charm and the strong muscles. i should be roughhousing with our other roommates. i should be making sex jokes at you all too. but instead it isn’t. and instead i’m me. sometimes i get enraged. and i want to scream and cry. i want to throw myself at the cold hard ground until i look bloodied and beat up and you can’t tell if it’s a boy or a girl you’re looking at. i want to rip the guitar out of your hands and smash it over your head. i want to punch you and scream and yell because you have everything i want. and it isn’t fair. and when these sometimes happen, i feel so guilty afterwards that i can barely look you in the eye. it isn’t your fault. it’s not your fault i was born wrong. but during these sometimes it sure does feel like it.

[forget-me-not-automaton]

The world would be SO good if I didn’t have a fucking girl voice and girl body and girl personality. If god was real I wouldn’t have been born the way I was!! 😀

[moon-center]

I don’t know what make me more dysphoric at this point

Using my binder because it’s a constant reminder that there’s something there, something that feel wrong

Or using a sports bra//going completely free because well you can clearly see them

At this point I don’t even use my binder anymore, if not even with it I feel good why do I even try??? I need to fucking rip my chest off this is a fucking nightmare. I just use it when going out because at least that way people treat me as if I was a boy, but honestly, this is torture

[leogoth21]

When you still get misgendered and you look like this