#-or kinder at the start. And we just...lost that before it could develop even further.

[ninjagirlstar5]

So, uh, I might've gone a little crazy last week and came up with a Kanade Concept rewrite. (And made some redesigns of IRL!Kanade and IRL!Hibiki to reflect that.)

SO, for context, if you've been following me for awhile (or just came across some of my posts in the past), you'd know that my friend and I have been playing through SDRA2 for fun and it's around the end of Chapter 3 that I started making posts mentioning certain segments of our reactions, feelings, and some jokes. And to say we hated it would be an understatement. But I've had asks where I went on a rant about Chapter 3 more than once, so I won't repeat myself here. If anyone hasn't seen that, you can find it here, and here.

At this point, we're at Chapter 6 and during one of our after stream chats in VC, my friend, @bittersweetbeet, suddenly brought up an idea that could've tied Kanade (and thus Chapter 3) into the main plot and that was this:

"What if Kanade was blessed with Divine Luck from Utsuro like Void? Like, she wasn't in on the plan, but the reason why everything went south for her is because her luck was running out and got screwed over in the trial because of that, and was more than willing to die because she'd prefer that over losing her Fortune. It wouldn't fix Chapter 3, but at least it'd explain how she got away with all those damn murders for so long!"

I'm kinda paraphrasing here since I don't remember the exact wording due to this idea being brought up in the voice channel. But that was essentially what they said and it drove me NUTS at the time. After all, it's been brought up that Utsuro tended to bless a bunch of kids that were the same/similar age as him during his travels out of boredom, and while we don't know a lot about Kanade and Hibiki's parents to know for certain if they were bad and good (personally, I interpret them as decent people but tended to play favorites with Hibiki and accidentally neglecting Kanade, which only worsens their issues even when they try to bring them together), we DO know that Hibiki tends to bully Kanade a lot and that alone can make for a difficult childhood even when you have parents that care about you. So, with a bit of timeline adjusting, Kanade coming across Utsuro when she was, ahem, down on her luck, and getting blessed by him after she vents about her problems can make sense as this is something he's done for awhile now. And it should be noted that not every kid he blessed with Fortune had the same level of dire straits, as many had different levels of Fortune which faded away at different paces. It's why Void lasted for as long as they did since their situation was the worst of the worst so their Fortunes faded away much slower while others either succumbed to fates sooner or lost their fortunes and survived but couldn't handle being back in the same state they tried so desperately to escape from that they just...well, you know. Not every person that was blessed with Divine Luck was going to be a good person or, hell, some people can end up getting worse with the Fortunes they were blessed with instead of becoming better (like Mikado). And so, we started chatting ourselves up about this idea and I really wanted to share it here on Tumblr that I asked if it was alright if I shared it on my blog and they gave me the go ahead. I didn't share it right away, but I was thinking over how to word the post while I was at work. Which is when I realize there were...a few problems with this idea, unfortunately. Mainly this since I brought it up in our rambles channel in the Discord server to get my buddy's thoughts on it, so I'm just gonna copy and paste that:

"...I've been trying to figure out how to word the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and I kinda realized something: how would Kanade realize her luck is fading…when she's not a part of Void? Like, she's not in on the plan from the very start so she's been reverted to a [place] where she believes that she's fine and her luck is still running strong. And how that would be conveyed to the audience…

Like, I can believe Kanade could figure it out, even if I think how the writer LINUJ showed off her intelligence to be stupid, but I'm struggling [on] how to explain how she'd figure out that she ran out of luck? She'd be surprised that things have turned on her suddenly due to her state of being reverted back to a time where her luck is strong, but would she fully understand the context to the point that she'd rather die with her sister than lose what she already have?"

Like, I could've been overthinking on that. I could've had it so that a character comments that she was just hit with a wave of bad luck and Kanade goes, "Me? The most luckiest person ever? Never! (...unless-)" But I was really struggling to come up with an answer I was satisfied with at the time and even Bertie was like, "it's stuff like this that makes it so that the only option that would fix Chapter 3 is by rewriting the whole thing." Which is something I do agree with. This idea wasn't a complete fix to everything that's wrong with Chapter 3 anyways, especially when it comes to Kanade and how the writing on her character just sank it into the depths of hell. It was simply an explanation we both really liked.

And then Bertie went on to say, and I quote, "Tbh I think it would be more interesting if Kanade hated Hibiki deeply rather than love her. It’d be cliche probably but it’s better than the weird incest-like shit we have going on here" end quote.

And I started off with a normal response agreeing and elaborating on the idea, like so:

"HONESTLY, yeah. It's better to just scrap the whole chapter and rewrite it from the ground up.

And yeah, I do agree that anything that's different than what we got in Canon is probably much much better. Although I would still want to keep the nuances of Kanade and Hibiki's status as victims of each other's toxicity. Hibiki is constantly bullying Kanade due to seeing how good Kanade is at a lot of things and is jealous of that but still cares and loves her as a sister even though she sucks at appreciating Kanade for who she is. Meanwhile, Kanade still loves her sister and willingly goes along with her bullying, going as far as to try and be meek and shy to appeal to her sister's dominant but cowardly ways but deep down she resents her for keeping her from doing things she likes even though she does genuinely enjoy spending time with her and gets jealous whenever other people get close cause it means that Hibiki won't bother to spend time with her. She often drives them away one way or another so she can have Hibiki to herself, even when nothing changes because Hibiki is her sister and she just wants her to love her and spend time with her (but not in the gross incest way and we're taking away the whole crazy serial killer thing, she's just her own level of toxic)."

And that's when I started spiraling into an gigantic ramble that lasted nearly an hour and thirty minutes (minus a dinner break) because my brain was in a creative mood that night. Enjoy my copy and pasted ramble (I won't italicize all of this to make it easier on the eyes cause if you know me by now, my writing gets very long + a bit of editing to make it a little more coherent):

"I still like the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and being good at many skills because of it, and she's smart enough to realize that the boy she met long ago somehow changed her when she had openly vented to him about her problems the day they met (after giving him her umbrella to protect himself from the pouring rain, as she had ran away on a whim due to being fed up with her parents and her sister [at the time]). She's very grateful for what he's done for her, believing that the skills she now has can bring herself closer to Hibiki by being useful to her."

"But here's the catcher: her blessing doesn't work in the way she had hoped. Because surprise! Divine Luck has it's own set of rules despite being able to break reality as long as the chances aren't zero. Basically, Divine Luck can make you better at anything, get you anything, without having to go through the process of improving or skipping the steps that are needed to get the result, simply jumping to the result itself. However, out of everything it can change, from skills to getting someone shelter to just winning any kind of luck-based event, it cannot change a person's heart. And Kanade, despite having the skills that are "supposed" to bring her closer to her sister, only makes Hibiki even more jealous and she continues to bully her, going as far as to push her workload onto her now that she's so "good" at everything and proclaiming that she's just as good, if not better. Her blessing got her what she wanted but not what she needed in her case, unlike with the rest of Void, and she ends up paralleling Mikado as despite being blessed with Divine Luck, it did not make them better or improve their situation due to their own choices/how they used their blessing (Mikado because he constantly pursued Utsuro to the point committing crime after crime, Kanade because instead of standing up for herself and establishing her boundaries, she continued to support her sister no matter what, something that only ends up building the resentment in her heart). That's not to say that Hibiki isn't instigating most of the abuse, she is. But Kanade isn't making things better as she uses her skills to make herself seem like the better option in comparison to the people Hibiki wants to hang out with and get to know, even going as far as to scare them away to isolate Hibiki so she doesn't even have any options to choose from."

"And then, Chapter 3 rolls around and Hibiki starts to change, trying to be supportive of the group and take charge to help everyone get through the killing game. It…surprises Kanade, but she watches her sister change and grow, becoming more confident, cheerful, kinder…

…And she realizes that she hates it.

She hates the thought of her sister changing. She hates the thought of her being kinder after everything she's done to her. She hates the thought of Hibiki growing closer to these people, becoming attached and happy without her, Kanade, her own sister.

She hates the thought of being left alone again. She hates the thought that Hibiki is going to leave her again.

She hates it, she hates it, she hates it.

She hates her.

But she loves her.

She wants her to be with her, forever.

So why won't she ever look her way?

Why, why, why?

Kanade is spiraling in her head, trying to keep up her shy, sweet side up but gritting her teeth the whole time as she watches. Even when Hibiki is being kinder to her, still making her usual jokes about her but is actually trying to prop her sister up a bit more, it's only because Sora and Setsuka had suggested her to be kinder, not because she wants to. At least, that's what Kanade thinks. She doesn't want to believe her sister is changing for the better, that she's able to change at all, that she's going to leave her behind for other people again.

And when Setsuka tries to reach out to her on the third day…Kanade finally snaps.

She tears into Setsuka, accusing her of stealing her sister away from her, for giving her ideas to be better when she can't, she should never be better than she already is because if she is, she'll just abandon her and leave her all alone. Her stupid, cowardly sister can't ever hope to be on her own, she always has to rely on her, HER, not anyone else…and definitely not SETSUKA!

And before Kanade knew it, she lunges at Setsuka.

The scuffle was short…but the result was predictable."

"To elaborate a little bit more on Setsuka, she's was still pretty distant from the group as she was focused on doing what she needs for Nikei and stuff. But after Hibiki starts to break down a little and reaches out to Setsuka for help, she commits herself to stabilizing the group once more, supporting Hibiki and telling her and everyone else that she has something to tell them. But Kanade, watching this entire scene, only starts to become even more on edge as Hibiki, once again, reaches out to someone else instead of her. Despite trying to "change," Hibiki had so easily broken down once more, crying and begging for help, relying on another person for support and to "fix" everything for her. And that convinces Kanade that Hibiki can't change, she won't EVER change, and she bitterly goes to bed. But Setsuka notices Kanade's displeasure and, not knowing why she's unhappy, decides to take matters into her own hands and have a one-on-one talk with her to see if she [can] help. Unfortunately, this decision backfires on her hard, resulting in her own death.

Now, unlike in canon, Kanade panics as this was the first time she's EVER committed a murder before. Sure, she's harassed, blackmailed, and even threatened people that tried to get close to Hibiki before with violence, people that would only take her away from her. But she didn't…she never…she didn't mean to do this! But, no, Setsuka…No, no. Why should she regret this? Why should she apologize?

Setsuka was getting in the way. Setsuka was going steal her sister away.

And Hibki was still the same as she ever was. Not being "better," not ever "changing." She was still Hibiki, the bully, the sister, the bratty, snappy, fussy older sister that demands respect despite her cowardly, weak self. A sister that Kanade deeply loves…and hates."

"But she won't let her die her. She'll escape with her, a certain "ritual" should allow her to escape with her as it's an option for the blackened on the third island according to Monocrow. If she goes through with that, she can escape with her sister…and make sure she'll never change again.

But if she loses…then she'll die. She'll die…

…and she'll take Hibiki with her. For she doesn't deserve to live without her.

Kanade goes through with the ritual as fast as she could, relying on her skills (and thus her luck) to succeed in framing Hibiki and nearly gets away with it.

But, unbeknownst to her due to her current memories, Kanade's luck has been dwindling and since her situation wasn't as dire as Void's, hers has been fading away far faster than them. And ends up making a few mistakes that seem innocent enough until it all starts to pile up, with one last conclusive evidence fucking her over and revealing her to be the true culprit.

Kanade is seething when she's caught, her ego bruised and lamenting how the hell she lost, with Syobai dryly stating that her luck has run out. Kanade laughs, saying that can't be true. She's always been lucky! She's always been able to get things her way, even when she has no friends outside of Hibiki. This tips both Mikado and Nikei off that, hey, wait a minute, is she…? Of course, neither of them speak up on it due to keeping their own plans close to their chest. Everyone asks her why, why did she do it, with Hibiki grabbing her sister, begging her why she would do something like this, why would Kanade frame her of her best friend's death? A death that she caused?

And Kanade, after years of bottling up her own resentment…finally blows up at Hibiki."

"She tells her off for her bullying, of her neglecting to pay attention or spend any time with her unless she wanted something from her, and pushing all the things she doesn't want to do onto her. She proclaims that she had ALWAYS hated everything she's done to Kanade, wishing she could've done anything else, wishing that, for once in their goddamn lives, that they did something she wanted to do, not because Hibiki had chosen it. All Kanade had ever wanted was her love and affection, but she never appreciated her or all the things she's done for her. [She even went] as far to change herself to try and appeal to her sister and her wants and needs. And yet…despite everything, she still loves her. She loves the times when they would dress up together. She loves the times when they would perform together. She loves it when Hibiki actually cares for her. She loves her, because she's her sister…

And because Setsuka was getting in the way of that, she had to get rid of her. Just like everyone else…!

Everyone freezes when Kanade admits that out loud. She pauses when she realized what she said, but instead of apologizing [or even denying it], she doubles down. She admits that she drove away their childhood friend, she admits to spreading false rumors about their teacher and getting him fired, she admits to falsifying a hurtful rejection to a guy Hibiki was getting close to and pretended to be her so that she can ruin their chances of getting together when he finally confessed, she harrassed, blackmailed, threatened people that got close…and Setsuka was just another person on a long list of those that got in the way. She just…didn't mean to kill her. It just…happened. But Kanade…doesn't care about that. She doesn't care about anything anymore. It's apparent that her luck ran out…and now she's going to die.

But she's not dying alone. She refuses to die alone.

[After all, they're] sisters, right…? It's only right that they stay together till the bitter end, right?"

"Hibiki tries to back away, but Kanade grabs her just as Monocrow drags her into her execution, bringing her with them."

"The execution goes almost exactly the same but Kanade is doing her damndest to make sure Hibiki dies with her, with Hibiki trying to escape. And it seems like it was going to happen…until Hibiki beats the hell out of her with a microphone, crying and wailing for all the people Kanade had hurt in her name, demanding why, why, why. Kanade can only answer this:

"It was ALL for you. You and you alone."'

"Hibiki drops the microphone, backing away from the sister that was so possessive of her, in her hatred and love.

And then she runs away, leaving Kanade all alone.

Monocrow doesn't stop her, for this execution was only made for Kanade…and seeing her despair as she finally loses the one thing she had tried so hard to grasp onto slip away from her was enough for him to pull the lever, the platform underneath Kanade falling and killing her.

By the time Hibiki has made it back to the trial grounds, her gait is slow and unsteady, hugging herself as she stares down at her feet, processing what had just happened. What her sister had done. What she had done to everyone she knew. What she had done to Setsuka and Hibiki herself.

Why she had done it.

She had done it for her.

She had done it to keep Hibiki to herself.

She had done it because she both loved and hated Hibiki.

And the people that had been hurt because of Kanade…was because of her. Because of Hibiki. Because of all her bullying and her selfish wants, and because she didn't treat her like she should've treated her as a sister…! Because she's a horrible, awful person that hurt her own family until it was too late, her best friend dead, her sister, dead! All because of her…!!

Hibiki falls to her knees, going into dissociation as everything that she ever thought she knew and was normal shattered like glass."

"Hibiki, for the rest of the killing game, blames herself for what Kanade has done, but with Sora and co.'s help, she's able to rationalize that yes, what she did to Kanade was horrible and none of this may have happened if Hibiki had just bonded with her sister instead of bullying her…but Kanade had also made her own decisions, alienating Hibiki's friends and support from her to try and isolate her so she can try and force her to rely on her and her alone. Hibiki had done a lot of wrong that she probably can't ever make up now that Kanade is dead, but that doesn't excuse the awful actions Kanade has done either as many people were hurt from her own actions, one even losing his job and others probably traumatized from what she did to them. They were both toxic to each other and so long as neither of them were changing, that cycle was only going to continue until something broke between them…and this just so happened to be it. It's just horrible that it also ended in Setsuka's death alongside Kanade's, who was just as much a victim as she was a perpetrator."

"As for the reveal in Chapter 6, I was thinking of two options for Hibiki and Kanade's relationship:

The two of them, despite years [of] staying together as sisters and as a part of Melody Rhythm, only ended up falling apart as their toxicity turned their head as one of Kanade's past victims, their childhood friend, decides to finally come out and reveal everything Kanade has done to her and other people, even providing evidence of what she did. And the moment Hibiki found out about it, a public argument breaks out between them and Kanade finally spills out everything about her feelings on Hibiki, which only hurts both of them as Kanade had tried so hard to isolate Hibiki from other people while Hibiki had only hurt and bully her sister out of jealousy for years. But this? This was enough for Hibiki to stand up and go, "We're done here." And she leaves, cutting ties with Kanade for the shit she's done to others but also left reeling at the revelation of what her bullying and abuse had done to her sister. Was this…her fault? She wasn't sure. But she knew [she] had to make things right somehow, even if it's only for herself, reflecting on her behavior and reaching out to those that were hurt by Kanade, apologizing for everything that had happened even though it wasn't her fault that she chose to do the things she did and tried to make it up to them…if they want her, at least. [Meanwhile,] Kanade is PISSED that her sister left her, who went as far as to block her from her phone and even ending their contract as Melody Rhythm as she's left to deal with the fallout of the media bashing her for what she's done…but as time went on, Kanade is able to pick up the pieces and strikes out on her own, telling herself that she doesn't need Hibiki or the people that criticizes her for what she's done. She can do this by herself! She never openly apologizes, but she never says outright that she's happy with how things had turned out either, despite getting her career back on track…eventually."

"And then the Tragedy happens, they lose their parents, and one of two things happen.

Either 1.) the Tragedy brings them back together, with them starting off very reluctantly working together to do charities to help those in need, only to slowly and carefully rebuild their relationship while trying very hard not to fall back into bad habits as Hibiki admits that yeah, she's done a lot of horrible things to Kanade and she IS sorry for that…but she won't let Kanade hurt anyone anymore. She's trying very hard to be patient with her sister, as they know the Tragedy is a horrible thing to go through, they even lost their parents from it…but if they want to make things work, then something has to change between them, even if Hibiki is the only one taking the initiative FOR the change. Kanade is very reluctant to admit that she was EVER in the wrong for what she did…but as they continue work and bicker over the concerts they put together, their different ideas colliding but somehow coming together with the help of their coordinator, they start to…actually bond again. They start to talk things out, Hibiki is actually trying to show interest in her hobbies and the things she likes, and while she can never bring herself to like the same things she does, she's trying to be respectful and give her the time of day this time. She's trying to make things right for her, so long as Kanade never does the things she did again. And while Kanade doesn't like the same things Hibiki does, it's still a bond Hibiki is trying to nurture…and it makes Kanade question if what she did was ever necessary, that if she had just stood her ground, let Hibiki form her own relationships while searching for her own friends that she can rely [on] like the ones she had now…then maybe none of this would have happen. Maybe they could've remain as sisters, forever, if she just accepted their differences and tried to break away and do her own thing, while letting Hibiki grow as a person [as I think if Hibiki was allowed to bond with other people, she would've grew out of her bullying and become a better person, but because she never had the chance or had people that would stand up to her and let her experience the consequences of her own actions, she never grew out of that mindset as she was never put in her place before]…

[And then the killing game happens, reverts them back to their teenage selves, and they start their toxic cycle all over again until one of them literally kills and gets executed for it.]"

"Or 2.), Kanade and Hibiki remain separate, as not even the Tragedy and the death of their own parents can bring them together. Their parents funeral, one they tried to arrange anyways, only escalates into another argument, with Hibiki changing as a person…but Kanade did not. She still feels entitled to be Hibiki's one and only sister, her one and only support, and Hibiki recognizes that, deciding that it was safer that they stay separated as she NEVER wants to risk anyone else she loves coming to harm thanks to Kanade. The two part ways, with the both of them doing their own separate charity events, with Hibiki proclaiming that Kanade Otonokoji is not her sister, [not anymore], while Kanade proclaims that Hibiki Otonokoji will always be her sister, and refuses to acknowledge the fact that she had been disowned and will continue to be disowned for the rest of their lives."

"Either way, Hibiki is depressed to realize that their future together was never forever, and Hibiki had lost her sister…one way or another."

And that's it! That's the concept rewrite, plus the sprite edits since Kanade and Hibiki are no longer together as sisters and as a band outside of the Neo World Program, so their appearances reflect on that as they pursue their own solo careers. They're no longer trying to match each other, and Kanade pursues her own rock and metal music.

Oh, and while I was copying and pasting this, I had an idea that Kanade's relationship with Sora could be interesting as she's the only one that Kanade is actually okay with getting close to Hibiki...because Sora shows interests in both of them in their FTEs. She talks to Hibiki in private about her treatment of Kanade and even asked Kanade herself if she was okay as she genuinely cares about her just as much as she cares about Hibiki. This surprises Kanade as no one has ever bothered to look her way before, they always pay more attention to Hibiki than herself. And Sora makes it clear that she's genuine about this, asking her if there's anything she can do to make things better for Kanade when Hibiki is defensive about her actions. It makes Kanade feel...seen, for once in her life, and she actually likes that. So she allows Sora to get close, so long as she promises to continue being her friend, too. It's why Sora succeeds in befriending both twins while Setsuka ended up getting rejected by Kanade in the worse possible way: Setsuka unintentionally added to Kanade's insecurities by focusing mostly on Hibiki and overlooked Kanade's needs as well. She's not doing this out of ill-will, far from it. It's just that she recognized that Hibiki is a little weaker in her mental strength and her breakdowns were far easier to notice while Kanade was able to keep a cool head most of the time. So Setsuka prioritizes on supporting Hibiki first and foremost, thinking that Kanade can handle herself fine on her own. She's not completely wrong...but she's not right, either. By the time she finally notices that Kanade is hurting and reaches out to support her, it's already too late as she's finally reached her breaking point and snapped, which resulted in her own death. Just a little something to tie this whole thing off.

[picturejasper20]

What’s are few examples you can think of that are redemption arcs done badly?

Well, uhh...

One issue i have with animated series lately that they tend to wait until the very last episode to redeem a character- something i don't understand why they can't do earlier or show better that they are regretting their actions. Steven Universe series has this but it was more a production issue of having to smash everything in 5 episodes. This is why Sasha's redemption arc from Amphibia was pretty solid, even if it needed more episodes, because the show didn't wait until last minute to do it.

Talking about examples of mixed redemption arcs below.

As redemption arcs that have questionable execution, Starlight Glimmer from MLP G4 is one of the first that comes to mind:

I don't certainly dislike her character but the way her actions were explained was... (sigh) She lost a friend when she was little because of cutie marks, so she started to hate cutie marks and then make a whole cult about it.

That's it, that is the reason. We don't get further details of how Starlight decided to become a villain, not if she lost more friends because of the cutie marks or if she was bullied for not having her cutie mark yet.

I know this is a show of colorful ponies but the series is capable of exploring the character's backgrounds and being emotionally complex for one expects for its demographic (like Bluey). We could have had one or two episodes about this to develop her character past better.

Her character arc itself is not so bad, she does have good episodes and shows some growth throught the seasons. She serves well to give lessons when the main six have been developed a lot in later seasons. The issue is that in some episodes she gets away with some awful things like using a spell to semi brainwash the main six. I think it is more a sign of the writers not knowing how to execute her character more than anything else.

My Little Pony has many good things but it can be questionable... the way it chooses who ¨deserves¨ to be redeemed and who doesn't. It is something that probably deserves its own post though.

Gabriel Agreste as a character who gets redeemed... good lord, this man does very awful things, specially to his son, Adrien. He just gets worse every season from what i have seen, getting more controlling with Adrien and escalating in the way he becomes more ridiculously villainous.

Then the Season 5 finale has him suddenly ¨regretting his actions¨ to the last moment, doing a semi-sacrifice, and he has the galls to ask Marinette to tell to Adrien that ¨he was a good father¨.

And after all that he gets an statue, potraying him as a ¨hero¨.

I can't fully judge it since i haven't watched the whole show. However, the execution of his character regretting his actions falls flat and the worst of all is that Adrien doesn't learn that Gabriel was Mothman. Most of what i have seen of this show is a trainwreck, and this is just the top of the iceberg

The movie takes the elements of the show and it is overall so much better. The characters develop and Gabriel gets written a lot differently from his series version. He isn't as cruel and he cares about Adrien in spite of how distant their relationship becomes.

Catra from She-ra 2018 is often another character that is cited as a bad example of redemption arc, even Steven Universe fans seem to hate her character.

Honestly, i think a lot of things in her character arc in Season 5 are decent? She does changes through the season, tries to make amends and apologizes for her actions. She grows to be kinder and better than the controlling person she was before.

The main problem for me is that things that made her character interesting in earlier seasons kinda... get dropped in season 5. Her inferiority complex to how Adora got easier and was more loved and respected by people around her? Gone. That along with other things that drove her character.

I remember that her relationship with Adora gets too much in the center, overshadowing other recurrent characters. Other thing that bothered me was that she did one nice thing and suddenly the protagonists were very accepting of her? I understand Adora but others, uhhhh.... And not to mention that Scorpia forgives her way to easily after the way Catra treated her... i guess you could argue that it is in her character but still, if there is one character that would have been mixed about that should have been Scorpia.

Nine from Sonic Prime has a bit of Gabriel Agrestre syndrome with him suddenly regretting his mistakes and actions at the last minute, not showing much regret around Season 3 with his actions until that point and getting worse.

The character in Season 3 suffers as a whole because it feels like he was rewritten. In previous seasons Nine was potrayed as someone who cared about only himself, but that was it. He didn't try hurting innocent people on purpose and then in Season 3 he didn't seem to care he was destroying the realities from other words to create his ¨perfect safe world¨.

His realization in Season 3 feels too sudden and it is like he changes too quickly in five minutes. At one minute he is fighting with Sonic and the other he is feeling bad. There is a lack a build up to that moment that he could have had before.

One thing i can give is that nobody seems to want anything to do with him after he apologizes and they leave him to be. They do what Sonic asked but they still seem to hate Nine after all that he did. That was nice to see for a change.

I would add the redemptions arcs in Hazbin Hotel, not because it the idea behind them is bad, but cause there is lack of screen time for the characters to see them develop properly. We don't seem them spending time growing and the process, we are only told that they ¨changed¨ so much like it is the case with Angel Dust. We aren't shown the path in between. Only the start and the finish line, which is very frustrating when watching the show.

I feel i could add more from animes, videogames and what not but these are the first that come to mind at the moment.

[anxresi]

I could line my wall with all the posts Thomas has made about Chloe tonight. (around 50, by my count)

If you wanna read them, don’t bother.

I certainly won’t be sharing any of them

What would be the point?

Because basically, they amount to one thing...

Chloe is bad, and we’re bad people for liking her.

That’s it.

And for anyone thinking that he kids around a lot with his comments...

I’m pretty sure this is something he feels VERY strongly about.

Or he wouldn’t expand so much energy in constantly talking her down.

So no, I don’t think we’re going to get a Chloe redemption.

No, I don’t think she’ll be Queen Bee again. 

No, I can’t see any real change in her behavior.

She’ll just remain the same ol’ hatable Chloe, the ‘evil’ girl that young kids apparently ‘get’ that adults don’t understand...

Yep, apparently we’re ‘dumb’ for wanting her to improve and develop!

To provide a good example for bullies out there that they can be more than just abusers all their lives!

Children couldn’t possibly grasp the delicate subtleties of self-improvement as you grow up!

It’s all so clear now!

Stupid us!

Also, her merchandise doesn’t sell very well.

Another good case for her staying as a villain, I guess.

And she’s compared to a monster and a domestic abuser.

This damaged teenage girl.

Yeah, sounds about right.

And all those tender moments where she showed empathy and love were just ‘fake outs’ all along.

Makes total sense!

And anyone who wanted more from her is just ‘delusional’ and is ‘writing the show in their head’.

Exactly!

Except...

That’s not the way it seemed on screen at all.

When she hugged Miss Bustier

Or had a heart-to-heart with Ladybug

When she risked her life as Queen Bee

Showed genuine concern for Adrien

When she finally appreciated Jean-something

And shared moments of friendship with Sabrina

These did NOT come across as part of an elaborate plot twist

From a show which isn’t exactly known for its complex writing.

They seemed to form part of a ladder...

Which would inevitably climb to a true character shift.

Where this flawed teenage girl could take a long, hard look at her life.

And realize she didn’t HAVE to be like her awful mother.

Or as power-hungry as her father.

She could learn lessons from her favorite superhero Ladybug...

Become a better person...

And an even greater superhero.

She could still keep her sassy attitude.

Just be a bit kinder and selfless, that’s all.

But, nope.

EVERY bit of niceness we witnessed on screen...

None of it was real.

It was all influenced by ‘class’.

Even her childhood friendship with Adrien was nothing.

If he was as poor as the rest of his classmates, she would’ve bullied him too.

Straight from Thomas’s own mouth.

One of the best relationships in the show, gone just. Like. THAT.

He also said to ‘redeem’ her at this stage would be too ‘unconvincing’?

ORLY?

I hate to return to critical mode...

But the show ain’t exactly known for its consistent writing.

One minute Marinette is confident around Adrien...

Next she’s a nervous jumble of words.

It sets up two new ships for Mari and Adrien with great fanfare...

Only to ditch them both two eps later.

(Also, what the **** did they plan to do with Lila?!)

In other words, this isn’t a show that plays the long game

Whether this is to satisfy the networks’ demand to air the eps out of order idk.

The point is that trying to tell us that Chloe’s ‘arc’ was some grand scheme...

Where she’d have a few sympathetic moments only to emerge worst than ever afterwards....

I simply don’t believe it.

Either this is terrible, amateurish writing of the worst kind...

Or Thomas flexed his influence behind the scenes...

And put an abrupt end to Chloe’s development before it really got started.

It doesn’t really matter which reason I guess.

What DOES matter is this petty and spiteful man sees fit to bash her in around 70% of his online interactions right now.

He could just ignore the posts but nope, he goes right in there, full throttle. 

You can just tell how smart he is with his intimate psychological breakdowns of why Chloe is the way she is...

When we all know the actual reason... he just couldn’t be bothered.

Far better to create a whole new character, give her none of the depths that could make a developed Chloe such a pain to write...

And then 'reward’ her with the position of Queen Bee, for being super-sweet and as shallow as a puddle.

And oops, make her Chloe’s half-sister or whatever to further rub salt in Chloe stans’ wounds. 

Is the show even gonna tackle the angst that would arise from Mayor Andre discovering his beloved wife had an affair?

Or Chloe discovering her much-loved mother is in fact a cheat?

What about coping with the SHOCK revelation that she... GASP... has a long-lost sister?

Forget it. All that rich potential for human emotions sounds B O R I N G.

Don’t forget that if there’s a major event in this show that doesn’t include the words ‘Love Square’, the makers just don’t care.

Let’s cut straight to a giant golden Zoe (who now looks like a giant golden Chloe) trying to smoosh her now much smaller sister...

While Chloe pushes Marinette and her parents towards the beast to save herself. 

Because of course she does.

Never misses a trick to make Chloe look bad, does Thomas.

It’s a skill you can tell he’s very proud of.

Anyway, back to Zoe...

Despite my harsh words above, I harbor no ill-will towards you.

Your design is decent and you seem like a stand-up gal.

But I hate to say this...

You shouldn’t exist.

It was completely unnecessary from a storytelling POV to create a sibling for Chloe, and your mere presence will diminish the show.

I can say this with utmost confidence after looking at the situation from every conceivable angle...

Without even needing to watch your eps or know why you were created.

(Although, I have a pretty good idea)

Some people might say WELL GIVE HER A CHANCE!!!!

Hmm... no.

Everything the show needs to be successful with Chloe’s character...

It’s already right there.

She does not need a secret sibling

She does not require a sweeter counterpart

And she definitely DOESN’T need Thomas constantly bashing her to impressionable fans online like she’s the Antichrist personified!

Seriously dude, if you hate her so much why bother creating her?

And if you hate her so much... why spend so long talking about her?

Despite his repeated denials, I think something another user here said is very true...

She DOES live ‘rent free’ in his head.

It sickens him that, despite his best efforts, she still has so many fans.

Not to worry, Thomas.

From what I see, there are still plenty of sycophants who agree with everything you say (even if they actually don’t)

After all, it’s enough for some to get a reply from the ‘great man’ himself

Why jeopardize that by trying to engage with him in a meaningful debate?

Especially when we know how handsy he is with the ‘block’ button.

Anyway, this went on for about a thousand more words than I meant it to.

I guess me and Thomas have just ONE thing in common (Thank God)

This is a topic which we both feel VERY strongly about.

The differently is of course, I have far less power in the process, and preach to a much smaller audience.

Still, I won’t let that stop me ranting away like a loon.

Hey, if it’s good enough for him... ;)

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

What your opinion on the Agni Kai was better then aang’s fight with ozai

I want to first say that “better” is a completely subjective statement. Both the final Agni Kai and Aang’s battle with Ozai have huge importance thematically, but are also demonstrative of different aspects of A:tLA, so comparing them in an attempt to determine the “better” battle is really an injustice to the show imo. That said, the final Agni Kai is certainly the more popular of the two big battles, and honestly I can break down its popularity into three main points. People tend to favor the final Agni Kai because:

They see the final Agni Kai as the reason Z.utara should have been canon (no, this is not the same as seeing the battle as crucial to Z.utara’s development; I mean they full-on think that the final Agni Kai matters largely if not entirely because of the brief ‘Z.utara’ moment.)

They recognize the significance of the Agni Kai being framed as a tragedy (specifically regarding Azula).

Their lack of understanding regarding Aang’s arc (or, to be kinder, their personal disinterest in Aang) prevents them from fully appreciating his battle with Ozai.

There are a few other reasons the final Agni Kai tends to be favored (e.g. it’s a much faster-paced battle action-wise; Aang’s battle with Ozai is over twice as long and because of how the show was structured is broken up into several sections and thus feels even longer), but I think those are the main three. So let’s take them one at a time!

First, I have to start with the obvious:

People favor the final Agni Kai because they interpret it as their holy grail of why Z.utara should have been canon.

Firstly, I am not getting into the K@taang vs Z.utara ship wars. I don’t have the time or the energy lmao. But there is a huge difference between shipping Z.utara based on the content provided in the show (because y’all know I love me some Zut@raang) compared to somehow thinking that Zuko and Katara were both ready to be and should have gotten together at the end of the series. In short, Z.utara would not have worked in canon based on where the series stood by the finale, and that’s okay! That fact does not negate the appeal of Z.utara nor does it mean Z.utara shippers should not be allowed to interpret the final Agni Kai as involving Z.utara content (they absolutely can and should! we love to see that!). But the final Agni Kai was not some secret sign that Z.utara was meant to be canon, and people who interpret it as such are sorely missing the point of the battle.

Here are a few metas discussing the final Agni Kai in regards to Z.utara’s importance within canon A:tLA, if you’d like to read some analysis going more in-depth than I intend to. My thoughts regarding Z.utara and the final Agni Kai are pretty simple:

Zuko catching/attempting to redirect the lightning aimed at Katara was not because he was in love with her. For him to sacrifice himself because he was “in love with her” would entirely undermine his redemption arc, which is learning to earn forgiveness and accept unconditional love from his family (both Iroh and the Gaang), not because of romantic interest. (Again, this does not mean someone shouldn’t ship Z.utara; if that’s what you’re taking away from this post, then you might as well stop reading, because I assure you that’s not even close to the point here.)

Katara is set up as Azula’s primary foil (e.g. by and large her relationship in canon with Zuko is aimed as a surrogate sibling); her saving Zuko parallels Azula’s attempts on his life (though her most important moment as Azula’s foil is arguably bringing Aang back to life after Azula kills him, but that’s a subject for another time lol), and Zuko catching the lightning for Katara demonstrates him saving the sister he can save versus Azula, the sister he cannot save (hence her breakdown at the end of the battle while Katara walks away largely unharmed; Zuko’s decision is also a direct parallel to him siding with Azula in “Crossroads of Destiny”, having first chosen the sister who harms him over Katara, the sister who ultimately heals him).

The significance of Zuko catching/attempting to redirect the lightning aimed at Katara is not because it was Katara he was saving; the viewer sees Zuko’s decision and recognizes that he would have done so for anyone. Anyone in the Gaang, plus Mai and Iroh, and possibly even Ty Lee (hell, he’d probably have taken the bolt for Appa and Momo). Zuko’s redemption arc is sealed by his selflessness, his willingness to sacrifice himself for the sake of someone else. While the moment is especially powerful because of Katara’s position as a foil to Azula, it is not the Z.utara holy grail I’ve seen it portrayed to be.

To be honest, the interpretation of the Agni Kai as some big Z.utara moment is both superficial and a massive disservice to Azula and the completion of her arc, which is the focal point of most if not all of the battle, and also entirely undermines the power of Zuko’s redemption (as I discussed). So moving on to the next point!

People favor the final Agni Kai because they recognize its importance to Azula and how the key element of the battle’s emotional weight is its framing as a tragic, heartbreaking moment.

I rewatched both the final Agni Kai and Aang’s battle with Ozai before I wrote this, and I had to try so hard to not cry at the end when Azula breaks down, sobbing openly for the first time in the entire series. It is a powerful, devastating moment, and it is so heartbreaking because of how fitting it is for her. Does she deserve redemption? Absolutely. But in the context of the series and how A:tLA played out, rock bottom is where Azula needs to be, and the audience recognizing that fact is what makes the scene so painful to watch (and also why you can’t take your eyes off the screen). For me, the power of the Agni Kai never came from Zuko’s sacrifice (although I understand why that part resonates with some people more); instead, it was always about Azula’s downfall, her descent, the straw the broke the camel’s back - whatever you want to call it. I’ll try to keep the essence of my feelings towards Azula and the Agni Kai and why this battle is preferred short:

Azula is a much more established antagonist than Ozai. We know from the beginning the Fire Lord is the big bad, but his presence in the show is relegated largely to flashbacks and to the second half of the final season. Azula is introduced in Book Two (technically she appears twice, I believe, in Book One, but she has no lines so I’m not counting those moments lol) and becomes the key antagonist throughout the final two books. The viewers admire her intelligence and strategic capabilities, appreciate her wit and ability to turn a person’s words around on them, and even feel sympathy and pity for her when her difficult relationship with her mother is revealed (in “The Beach”) and when Ozai’s conditional love is demonstrated to apply to her, too (“Sozin’s Comet Part 1: The Phoenix King”). Thus, the final Agni Kai has multitudes more emotional potency in terms of the antagonist, as Azula is more pitiable and developed than Ozai, so it’s understandable that feeling a greater connection to Azula might result in someone preferring the final Agni Kai over Aang’s battle with Ozai. (That said, I will be discussing more about the significance of Ozai as a character later.)

The tone of the Agni Kai is that of tragedy (verus the more action/intense battle of Aang vs Ozai). While the debate of drama vs action is largely related to personal preference, I think it’s worth noting that no other battle in A:tLA (that I can think of) has the slow, drawn-out, orchestral music that is present in the final Agni Kai. The viewers realize this battle may be about power on the surface, but in reality it is a painful, devastating moment about a family irreparably torn apart (at least in terms of the series run). For me, that has always been the captivating factor of the Agni Kai. The viewers mourn for Azula, who has lost herself. Yes, she did so partially in her quest for power, but more importantly in her search for love, as she did not have a support system in her life like her brother (Zuko always had Iroh), and the audience grieves for her. Her mother both feared her and was disgusted by her; her father loved no one (including her) and only valued her for what she could provide to him; she hurt her brother and her best friends to the point where they were forced to turn away from her; and her uncle, as far as what is shown, never extended a hand to her. Azula is a victim of abuse (though this does not excuse any of her actions; in fact, her role in A:tLA as a victim who was abandoned and lashes out before breaking down on the inside is just as important as Zuko’s role as a victim who was given support and was able to heal). Thus, to me, the power of the final Agni Kai is all from the tragic tone (hence why Azula’s heartbreaking end brings me close to tears every time).

Bonus: The way Katara takes out Azula is incredibly clever and badass. (I don’t think I need to expand this one. We all love narrative foils!)

For some people, they prefer the final Agni Kai because of the emotional weight of the conclusion of Azula’s arc; that weight combined with the conclusion of Zuko’s redemption, in my opinion, are pretty valid reasons to deem the final Agni Kai their favorite battle of the series. That said, there is one other important factor to consider in the question of the final Agni Kai vs Aang’s battle with Ozai:

People prefer the final Agni Kai because they blatantly misunderstand and/or misinterpret Aang’s arc of reconciling his being both the Avatar and the last airbender, thus preventing them from fully understanding and appreciating the weight of his battle with Ozai.

This point is more complex than the two I discussed previously, so I’m going to break this one down further to help simplify it. Let’s start with the most obvious thing:

“The lion turtle and energybending were cop-outs!”

I cringe whenever I see this; imagine admitting to the entire fandom how blind you were to the extensive foreshadowing about the lion turtle and energybending. Downright embarrassing. There are so many metas out there explaining how the lion turtle and energybending were not cop-outs and how A:tLA did foreshadow their influence (some people need to admit they just didn’t watch the show tbh). I’ll try to provide a quick summary:

Chiblocking demonstrated how chi/energy and bending were intrinsically linked from Day. One. Moreover, it did so numerous times; trying to claim that blatant foreshadowing is not there is… well, kind of embarrassing.

The lion turtle was foreshadowed in “The Library” (and moreover the lion turtle only appeared after Aang called out to the Spirit World; his meditation was an appropriate attempt to seek help from those wiser than him to resolve his dilemma, and thus his plea was answered).

If you’re gonna argue the lion turtle/energybending were convenient cop-outs, you better also critique how Suki conveniently was at the Boiling Rock/the ferry, Pakku conveniently had been arranged to marry Katara’s grandmother, Toph conveniently inventing metalbending, every other time a spirit showed up conveniently, etc. etc. etc. Don’t cherry-pick, hypocrites.

The lion turtle/energybending were not necessarily predictable, no, but they also were not meant to be. You’re not supposed to guess every detail of every finale of every show. So yes, the lion turtle/energybending were foreshadowed, and this foreshadowing done so in a way where after they were revealed it was intended to be an “oh my god, how did I not see that connection before?!” moment. (At least, so it was for me.)

Dismissing the lion turtle and energybending as a cop-out is an age-old, boring misinterpretation of Aang’s battle with Ozai, and by and large I think most of the fandom is tired of hearing it. Thus, if people don’t understand the lion turtle/energybending and their roles in the A:tLA finale, then they’re less likely to appreciate Aang’s battle with Ozai and therefore would prefer the final Agni Kai. Next common argument:

“Aang was able to re-enter the Avatar state because of a rock? Really? Another cop-out!”

Again, if you’re gonna criticize the rock, at least criticize every other plot device used in A:tLA. I mean come on. Some people will really just cherry-pick instances solely with Aang. How very convenient for them, huh?

But the fact of the matter is that the pointy rock is actually pretty important! No, it didn’t necessarily have to be a rock that allowed Aang to enter the Avatar state again, but it was necessary that the Avatar state was unblocked for him by a physical trigger. The Avatar state was removed from Aang by Azula’s lightning striking him (after he’d done the spiritual work to control it, too!), which is a physical block, thus requiring something to physically unblock it. By the end of Book Two, Aang is able to enter the Avatar state of his own accord (he successfully unlocked his chakras, after all) and had Azula not struck him in the back and killed him, he presumably would have been able to do so throughout Book Three. Did that physical item have to be a rock? Again, not necessarily, lmao, but where he and Ozai were fighting, well, there certainly were a lot of rocks, so it’s not like it didn’t make sense. (There’s a meta here that touches a bit on the necessity of the Aang needing the Avatar state physically unblocked, too.)

“Ozai was a stereotypical, boring villain! He was barely given any screen time!”

This isn’t entirely untrue. Everything viewers are told about Ozai is from other characters in the narrative; mostly Zuko, but also Azula and I’d argue Iroh, too. Ozai certainly was the big bad of the series, and little is provided regarding his personality beyond being power-hungry, racist, xenophobic, and abusive. But… that’s kind of the point. Ozai is written to have zero redeemable qualities. There is supposed to be zero sympathy for him. Hell, there’s arguably even zero reason for him to live on (which actually makes Aang’s decision to spare his life all the more powerful, but that’s for later). There’s one line in particular that really defines Ozai’s character to me:

“You’re [Aang is] weak, just like the rest of your people [the Air Nomads]! They did not deserve to exist in this world… in my [Ozai’s] world!”

Ozai is the epitome of fascism, imperialism, and a superiority complex if there ever was one in a cartoon. His words remind the audience that maybe he didn’t initiate the Air Nomad Genocide, but he continues to seek the same goal - obliteration of anyone he deems inferior (which is, well, every nation except his own). Aang’s battle with Ozai is literally a fight against fascism, and that’s a hell of a powerful metaphor. So while I understand leaning towards the Agni Kai in terms of familiarity with the antagonist (aka Azula), I do think some people gloss over Ozai too quickly. Yes, everyone knows that Ozai is a genocidal dictator, but I don’t think the implication of that position - especially what it means to Aang - really sinks in for everyone.

And now for the big one:

“Aang should have killed Ozai!”

If you are reading this and for some godforsaken reason think Aang should have killed Ozai, I beg of you: read these metas and analyses about Aang and his arc explaining exactly why that’s the wrong take. This point has been argued a million times over and the fact of the matter is that Aang choosing to spare Ozai’s life and thus uphold his beliefs as an Air Nomad is the ultimate triumph (a direct parallel to the Air Nomads being forced to fight back against the firebenders during Sozin’s attack and were thus not able to uphold their beliefs - the ultimate sacrifice). Furthermore, Aang choosing to spare Ozai’s life but take his bending is arguably a fate worse than death for Ozai. Ozai now lacks all of his power/prestige, will be forced to watch the son he despises rebuild his country, and any lingering supporters he may have can’t argue “oh well the Avatar had no reason to kill him!” because Aang didn’t kill him. He chose mercy. He proved himself better and stronger than Ozai could ever hope to be.

Furthermore, Aang staying true to his beliefs as an airbender is central to his character. The core belief of the Air Nomads was that all life was sacred (such was why they were all vegetarians). If he had killed Ozai, if he had been forced to betray his spiritual beliefs, then he would have completed the genocide of the Air Nomads that Sozin started a hundred years ago. Ozai’s death at Aang’s hands = the death of the airbenders’ culture. Full stop. How could he be expected to bring balance to the four nations if only three remained? Maybe this is just me, but the message of Aang being an airbender (the last airbender) and finding another way (e.g. energybending) to defeat Ozai in order to uphold the beliefs of his people is a much more powerful message than him having to kill Ozai (especially because no one else understood how important Aang’s spirituality was to him [not even the Gaang!]; Aang did what was right, even when the world insisted he was wrong).

(Sidenote: The previous Avatars did not tell Aang to kill Ozai. That’s right - not even Kyoshi. I believe she gave him this advice: “Only justice will bring peace.” Great news! Aang did exactly that. Why are some people still so pressed about it??)

Furthermore, if someone calls Aang’s beliefs and his decision not to kill Ozai childish (we’ve all seen those posts), I’m giving you permission to deck them, because so much of the roots of the Air Nomads’ spirituality is rooted in Buddhism, and like,, we know westerners struggle to comprehend any narrative that isn’t our own, but the dismissal of Aang’s beliefs without making the connection that they’re also dismissing the beliefs of many, many real people? Yeah, please sock those assholes in the jaw. Give them the finger. Glare at them. Whatever works for you. Those are the people with the most superficial opinions on A:tLA, and to be honest, it really shows. Please: make an effort to understand the eastern narratives at work within A:tLA. If you don’t, there are so many things you will miss out on, and you’ll also just look like a prick.

For me, Aang’s battle with Ozai is so powerful (and my favorite) because of the ending and its importance to Aang:

“I’m not gonna end it like this.”

Aang chooses mercy by taking Ozai’s bending instead of killing him.

Aang chooses to uphold the beliefs of his people and guarantee the Air Nomads live on in him.

Aang proves his soul is unbendable.

Aang enters and controls the Avatar of his own accord (not induced by trauma or a spirit).

Aang reconciles his being the Avatar with being the last airbender.

Aang is finally at peace with himself and the world around him.

In short, if a person doesn’t understand Aang and his character, then the significance of his final battle with Ozai will largely be lost, and thus it makes sense that they would gravitate more to the Agni Kai (which is arguably a less nuanced battle, as Azula’s position as a victim of abuse and Zuko’s tale of redemption are not exclusive to either western or eastern narratives, while Aang’s arc is largely more eastern in nature and thus something less familiar to western audiences).

I have no doubt that my personal bias influences my admiration of the final battle with Ozai, as Aang is my favorite character and his narrative is easily the most powerful to me (he is the sole survivor of genocide who still chooses to seek kindness in life instead of revenge), but regardless I’d argue the sheer thematic weight of Aang’s battle with Ozai outweighs that of the Agni Kai any day (although, to be fair, they are presenting different subjects, so take my feelings there with a grain of salt).

The Agni Kai is a tragedy. It is devastating. It makes you cry. Aang’s battle with Ozai is a triumph. It is hope. It makes you take a deep breath and look to tomorrow with a brave smile. And that is why it is the battle that concludes the series.

TL;DR - Both are fantastic battles in their own merit, but Aang’s battle with Ozai is underappreciated because of the fandom’s incomplete grasp on Aang’s arc and character while the final Agni Kai is often appreciated/hyped up for the wrong (*cough* shipping *cough*) reasons.

[handlewcaare]

Art credit: @kajuhz

Since the time he crawled out of his grave at the laboratory, isolation was the best company he could make. Anyone who approached him with well-meaning intentions were shot down. Mistakes were bound to happen, but he would have been a fool to make the same one twice.

Once he returned to the little hole in the wall that was his agency, he ensured to keep a gun wherever was accessible for a friendly genetist. Was it paranoia? He didn’t know, but he thought he was desensitized to it all. What one man’s fatal wounds were his blisters and mild annoyances.

That had been the exact reason as to why the Association wanted him.

Several years after he retired from being a lab rat, his agency ran slow. People would hire him for small investigative work, nothing that he usually did in the golden days. It was honest work, he wouldn’t complain, finding a stalker within the bushes and seizing him got his mind off it. However, with the rapid development of caped crusaders typically found in comic books, what good was an old gumshoe?

It wasn’t until a monster had destroyed his agency that he comprehended why people regarded them as a persistent menace.

The fault was his own for leaving his agency unlocked, but after seeing years of evidence for cold cases left in ashes, his regrets immediately flourished to rage. Furor was not a typical characteristic of his, but after seeing his furniture destroyed, the maps and photographs partially charred or shredded, the malicious being only grinned at how he set down his groceries by his feet and locked the door.

The aroma of burning flesh against the lashing tongue of a conflagration never bothered him. How his muscles and ligaments were shredded under the velocity of the being’s claws never hindered his own onslaught. How he had to pry his own intenstines out from his peritoneal cavity to prevent him from tripping over it never evoked a sense of horror. He would give credit when it was due, the doctor certainly enhanced his healing factor.

As it turned out, a Griffin-like being with a flaming head was harder to swat than he anticipated. From a bucket of water, to using the fire extinguisher before bashing it’s skull with the end of the empty canister, he didn’t know how long the fight lasted until it was a new record.

Seven days. Four hours. Twenty minutes.

As someone once said, “time flies when you’re in an adrenaline rush.”

Not even after he hobbled out of the destroyed agency with the singeing aroma of salt, copper, gasoline and rotting flesh, was he greeted with the cries reserved for the victor. Gasping and cheering onlookers could only watch in wide-eyed wonder and admiration at how he stood in grotesque triumph. Being in the limelight never gave him comfort, in fact, he nearly shuffled to escape the crowd as soon as possible.

“We could use someone like you,” a man in a well-tailored suit said, “I’m part of this association and—”

“No,” a harsh refutation, he knows, but he knew better than to hand out his trust like brochures.

In spite of his protest, the intern attempted to chase after him, “but, sir! That monster was a threat level—!” Demon? Dragon? Dog? Who knew. It wasn’t until his arm, the one hanging by a thread of rotting muscle, fell off his shoulder that he was finally left be. The suppressed disgust did not go unnoticed.

“I don’t care.”

Not initially. Had it been his choice, he wouldn’t have even dreamed of being regarded as a poster boy. Since being confined in a pseudo-cage match with just about every abomination Genus could conjure, joining a group of Boy Scouts would have heightened his sensitivity to something he encountered often.

He could barely stomach analyzing a pallid, frigid reflection of himself projected onto a stranger. To envision that scarlet thread lay limp between their finger and his own—a relationship he could best describe as acquaintances—only served as an irritant he couldn’t scratch out. Though, that might have been amplified by the constant attempts to recruit him.

At this point of his life, the private investigator would resume his work. He always did, even after spending a quarter of his immortal days chained to a wall with nothing but his thoughts and his weapons to keep him company.

His last case was what prompted him to apply.

He didn’t know who hired him, but he did know that someone managed to figure out the address to his homely apartment. When asked whether he knew who the handwriting belonged to, none of them would have matched the description of the writer.

Lollipops?

The private investigator couldn’t help but be a bit dubious, but it was better than getting harassment calls and emails from interns. He read somewhere that people ate sweets to stimulate their thinking, but he just assumed it was a quick way to get a sweet tooth.

What the hell, he needed to get some coffee anyway.

As instructed, he took the public transit to Y-City. Folks were more kinder, a bit pompous, but it could have been due to the fact that he was a walking carcass that made headlines already—save for the idol hero, Anal Mask or whatever the hell his name is—but college kids were quick to point out where Doctor Hajime’s lab was. “He teaches my robotics class,” was the usual answer.

By the time he encountered the front door, he counted how many seconds he would have to escape. Chances were there was gonna be a cyborg or a robot to try and pin him down, inject him with something to make him black out. He had his machetes tucked under the collar of his shirt, his dessert Eagles were holstered at his hips and he had a handsome fire axe within the bag of lollipops and candy apples. He had time to escape, he would ensure that he would, least he opt to shove himself into the nearby wood chipper to finally do himself in.

What he anticipated from the opening door was an older gentleman, someone with a bow tie and unruly and snowy hair. His countenance would have been cobwebbed with age, his shoulders hunched to pronounce a spinal compression. Yet, he would offer a smile as dulcet and as mannerly as any other kind old man.

Instead, the private investigator was greeted with a boy with vibrant tawny eyes and a little auburn curl at the top of his crown. He had to be no older than nine years old. He couldn’t have been any taller than the door knob.

In an instant, he snuffed out his cigarette against the masonry and knelt down to the kid’s height. An instinctual response from someone who was once an uncle—father?—in a family who had long forgotten about him. “Hey kiddo,” the investigator began, “you seen where your dad went off to?”

As incredulous as the kid was, the investigator nearly assumed he went to the wrong place. That was until the boy spoke, “Considering I haven’t seen my father in nearly four years, I’m afraid not,” he paused as he offered a small, wistful smile, “but trust me, you’re not the first person to ask me that.”

Safe to assume that the child genius was much more hospitable than the private investigator was accustomed to. Then again, as he presented a lollipop to the child, those tawny eyes flourished as he hastily accepted the treat from the detective’s grasp. “Thank you, sir!”

“Don’t mention it,” whether or not he was aware of it, there was a smile that aligned.

As the two of them enjoyed their sweets, Hajime elucidated further about the technological black market. What routes they typically took and how he managed to figure out their patterns. The kid truly did have a good head on his shoulders.

“I have a hypothesis that these robots that are being trafficked underneath City W, X, Y and Z aren’t really used for security.”

“And why do you think so?”

“Well, Z-City has a lot of manifestations of monsters. If basic security-Trons were sent off to handle the threats, it would be a waste of resources. I mean, it’s carbon and bismuth—it’s elementary stuff.”

The boy paused as he used his watch as a hologram to present the blueprint of one of the robots. The private eye wasn’t exactly ‘technologically savvy,’ but Hajime called it ‘basic’ so he would just have to take his word for it.

“But that’s not what caught my attention,” he elucidated, as the boy extended his fingertips, the robot’s physique separated by segments of its parts. When he pointed toward a certain adapter, the private investigator couldn’t help but furrow his brows a bit.

“That’s a cranial nerve implant.”

Hajime paused, as if he had fully prepared an exasperative and long-winded statement, “you’ve encountered them before?”

When implored, he suppressed the urge to visibly quake under the phantasmic impulses of electricity that had once trailed down the expense of his brain stem. It was a way to analyze how fast he developed increased intracranial pressure, he remembered Genus saying.

“Friend was a doc,” a decent lie that Hajime seemingly overlooked, though the private investigator felt an acrimonious taste in his mouth. “She said something about how it’d use electricity to wake up dead nerves.”

His russet glare narrowed as he brought a hand to caress his own chin, “thought they’d still be in development...”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking!” For a moment, the boy’s joviality made him appear exactly his age.

Ah- now it’s starting to make sense.

“From what I know, Z-City has monsters just about every corner,” the investigator began. His baritone suddenly lost it’s intrigue once he mentally assembled the puzzle pieces the best he could. “With monsters, people tend to be more scared than they should be. What do you think being scared means?”

The boy’s eyebrows raised, “they’re paranoid?”

“And—?”

“They...” while it was easy to assemble a mechanical enigma to guard civilians, it was harder to provide a baseline to something as fluctuating as human response. Hajime eventually restored to shrugging his shoulders, “...they’re desperate?”

With that, the private investigator pressed a finger to the tip of his nose before he pointed at Hajime. “Desperate people tend to do stupid. If I’m a single father living in Z-City, you think turning into the terminator wouldn’t be my go-to?”

Such analysis didn’t seem to satisfy the boy. Whether or not it was a challenging diatribe, it was enough of a refutation to make the investigator think a bit, “but you know it’s permanent right? I mean, the cranial nerves aren’t exactly something you want to tamper with, especially if those implants can get into your cerebrum and alter you entirely.”

“Well, you—the kid genius—might know that,” he deflected easily, “but what about me? I’m a single father with a degree in underwater basket weaving. Do you think they taught me about cranial nerves while I was trying to make a basket?”

One could hear a pin drop until the boy piped up, “I mean- if you’re scuba diving and you’re weaving the basket—”

“Just finish your lollipop, kiddo.”

Several weeks had passed when they finally traced a call to one of the robotic manufacturers. It was certainly much more handy than to thread scarlet yarn along what tabs had pinned photographs. Then again, doing things the old fashioned way made old habits die hard.

Needless to say, the private eye could understand the boy’s fascination with his toy-like projects. From a giant action figure he kept buried within the depths of the earth to the robot dogs that served as a pseudo-trump card, it was like assembling legos for him. As the two of them took the public transit to Z-City, the two of them settled into a comfortable silence, save for Hajime’s need to tamper with a Rubik’s cube.

Unlike the other Alphabet cities, the ambiance around Z-City felt calloused and empty. It was but the abyss that stared upon them once they left the transit and it gave the private eye an eery sensation that crept along his vertebrae. It must have been that paternal instinct.

“Stay close to me,” he cautioned, though he should have known better that Hajime didn’t like to be talked down to.

“I can take care of myself.”

“—and if I can’t take care of myself?”

Reverse psychology seemed to do wonders, as Hajime’s vanity subsided for the need to have his partner’s back. Should anyone ask, the detective wouldn’t admit the presence of his little smile.

The call had declared that the deal would be set in the alley nestled next to a udon stand and an apartment complex. It was an easy hole in a wall and, considering how the civilian was late, he and Hajime had to play their part. Between himself and no one in particular, he preferred it that way. The last thing he wanted was for someone to die in front of the boy.

“Oi,” the thuggish chirp resounded from the maw of a strange man who looked mechanically modified. His brows were too close to his eyes, accenting a crueler look. The detective fought every urge to usher Hajime behind him. “You Hammerhead?”

He silently reprimanded himself for not bringing a hammer.

“Yeah,” the detective’s response was nonchalant, a lethargic drawl that could have remained hidden within a thick penumbra of nicotine.

“Who’s the brat?”

“Mine,” short and concise, though he let his russet gaze nearly puncture into the dealer, “you want the money or should I show you my wedding photos?” He went in too eager, though that was exactly the point with desperate people. Fortunately, the dealer turned out to simply comply at the mention of money.

“Seven thousand yen.”

It was agreed upon with a shaky baritone by the real customer prior. However, it was a game that the detective often played prior to meeting Dr. Genus. Once he began to thumb his fingers along the bills in his pocket, the dealer swiftly interjected the detective’s counting.

“I-I meant Seventy thousand!”

“Oh?”

Seventy thousand it was that was instantly slapped into the dealer’s hand. However, there was hardly a moment when the dealer abruptly seized the detective’s arm and held him hostage at gunpoint.

Needless to say, one should never underestimate the strength of a man who wanted to make civilians into cyborgs. With an irritated sigh, the immortal felt his head jerk to the side as a bullet pierced through his temporal lobe. Albeit, the moment his body should have sprawled limp was the instant he seized his machete and took a blind swipe. What astonishment and pure horror from the mechanical marvel only wrought a hand to catch the blade.

Fortunately, the fist that veered to deck the detective never came to deliver. Rather, a tendril that emerged from Hajime’s backpack seized the mechanical marvel’s appendage into a tight lock. It was but a split second when the detective retrieved the machete’s twin and severed the appendage.

“Shit—!” The hydra hydrolauics swiftly seized ahold of the being and attempted to suspend him in the air. Hajime’s hands braced tight to his backpack’s straps, though the dealer proved to be a formidable foe, as he laconically wrapped his free arm around a tendril to toss the brat.

Safe to say that the detective prioritized catching the kid than the dealer. Both had landed with a harsh grunt against the asphalt before the detective hastily retrieved his desert Eagle and fired. Once again, it was a null chance, given how he was abruptly seized by his throat and tossed through the brick masonry of the neglected library.

What sanguine from the brunt trauma coagulated and the flesh wounds he sustained, he could only instinctively block the blow from the mechanical marvel. Regular fisticuffs was a fond favorite of his, typically because of how seldom he did it. What reciprocating strike had been enough to swivel his head evoked him to land a brutal bite of his axe into where his opponent should have been.

“Mr. Detective!”

It was but a moment that the private eye peered over to see Hajime with a snapped tendril, it’s cobwebs of electricity was a big enough hint for him. The instant he distanced himself, the dealer had not a moment to abstain when his back arched under the brutal conduction of carbon and lightning. His howl was guttural, ripping through the empty ambiance before he collapsed at their feet.

What should have been a victorious high-five was but a dreadful beat of anticipation. Hajime could only stare down at the beaten villain, “did I kill him...?” His murmur was rather hushed, as monsters were not the same as modified humans.

For the sake of the boy’s anxiety, the detective brought the tip of his shoe to budge the dealer. The somnolent twitch of his countenance wrought a sense of relief to weigh into the boy’s sigh.

The private investigator offered a high-five for the boy to make. The gesture was slow, as if cautious, but the kid genius managed to reciprocate it. “You did good,” he didn’t know it then, but it was a compliment that Hajime would hold to his heart later.

On taking the transit back to City-Y, the detective opted to intervene the silence. An odd thing for him to do, but it was just them and a few others coming home late.

“So, your parents—” it might have been too sensitive of a subject, but he opted to continue, “—did they uh...” it would have been easy to assume they did die. After all, it was how every hero was sculpted.

Hajime only shook his head, “no,” he said before he retrieved a little Rubik’s cube from his backpack. His fingers fidgeted the slots as his hazel gaze lingered toward the trinket, “I mean, they’re overseas. They send me birthday cards sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” The private investigator couldn’t help but raise a brow at that.

“When they remember.”

Had the private investigator known about Hajime’s profession outside of being a teacher then, he would have been more than happy to demand what the hell was more important than their own kid. Did they know he was handled by suits who depended on currency than their own workers? Even if one of them—two if he counted Badd later—was a child?

Even if he didn’t know it, his furor was quiet enough to make him try to huff out a sigh. His jaw clenched along the curses he would have hissed under his breath when no one was around. Fortunately, Hajime was a quick study.

“What about you?” He must have thought it was a witty comeback, considering how his nose wrinkled a bit, “where’d your parents go?”

“Can’t say I remember,” he knew he had them, but he didn’t know what he did with them. Were they around when he died the first time? Longer? All he could afford to do was wander aimlessly as a phantom without a shell. “Been around since the A.D’s.”

“The A.D.’s??”

As it turned out, Hajime was fascinated with history. The boy’s queries seemed to be rapid fire initially, such as whether or not Shakespeare was a real person (he was), how far has technology gone (far enough), or if the crusades were as brutal as written (it was, but he never had the pleasure in fighting in the wars). The boy’s excitement seemed to tucker him out quickly unfortunately.

Just as the private investigator began to describe what Feudal Japan was like, Hajime nodded off and slumped against the detective’s shoulder. Their stop only prompted him to gingerly scoop the boy up into one arm and carry his—surprisingly dense—backpack with the other. Fortune came in technological wonders, as the lab seemed to unlock its hinges at the presence of their creator’s facial recognition.

The time was late when he finally tucked the boy into bed. Hajime’s backpack slumped against the masonry. There was a strange and phantasmic ache at the base of the detective’s chest, something he hadn’t really felt since he last died.

Prior, he often wondered if it was better to be alone or to try and have a family. He was told he was good with kids by their parents who would hire him to find them. To imagine himself as a father was frightening nowadays, as he could envision that bastard trying to pick up his kids for experimentation.

With Hajime safely in bed, the detective’s thoughts drifted to the newspaper that detailed the triumphs of S-Class Hero Child Emperor against the dreadful turnip monster that interrupted his robotics cla—

...They seriously named the kid “Child Emperor” huh?

The detective contemplated on the transit home just as hard as he was contemplating it back home. His glare lingered toward the shredded up business card. It took every increment of his pride to collect the pieces, but the heroes association weren’t exactly child-friendly.

Did that mean he couldn’t try to do better? For the first time, he felt a sense of balance when handling the dealer. His agency was going to go nowhere and he needed the money, that wasn’t including the fact that Hajime would have ended up, perhaps, the only sensible person there.

he hated being right at times.

He needed to do better, not for the sake of spiting Genus, but to be better for himself.

After he called the intern’s number, he waited until there was a ‘hello?” At the other end of the line.

“Hi,” he says, “I’d like to file a hero application. Do you mind walking me through the process?”

[halothenthehorns]

TLTNL- OWLS

Sirius straightened up prime and proud, forcing that good mood of Gryffindor winning the match to be the only thing they all heard. Grawp certainly had been, unexpected, but with any luck Umbridge would be ousted from the school before Harry even had to deal with him again. Never mind that pesky, nagging question that had been bothering him since Dumbledore's departure, if in fact being Headmistress would negate the curse upon the DADA position. But no, she was still teaching that class, which meant she'd be leaving very soon...he hoped.

Ron's euphoria at helping Gryffindor scrape the Quidditch Cup was such that he couldn't settle to anything next day.

"Considering Prongs was that way for whole weeks, you got off easy," Remus smiled fondly.

All he wanted to do was talk over the match, so Harry and Hermione found it very difficult to find an opening in which to mention Grawp.

"Exactly how hard were you trying?" Sirius snickered, he knew he couldn't relate the two subjects easily.

Not that either of them tried very hard;

All four burst out laughing, though Harry hardly looked very chagrined.

neither was keen to be the one to bring Ron back to reality in quite such a way.

"There really isn't a way to ease into this one," Lily grudgingly agreed, "I don't blame you for putting it off."

Lighting on this fine day made the grounds outside rather inviting, and though Ron was enjoying his time in the common room as random bursts of Weasley is our King were still sung,

"Who came up with the revision of that song anyways?" Remus asked curiously.

"Lee Jordan," Harry grinned. "Even after Ron saved his first goal, the Slytherin's tried to keep going, to throw him back off, but then he said, 'he sure saved that ring,' and it just sort of spiraled out from there. Neville told me later he swears even McGonagall was singing along."

"That's fantastic," James cackled at Malfoy's dirty little trick being so flipped by that.

  but finally they convinced him to spread out their revision books under a beech tree, Ron still not paying much mind as he walked them through his first save for the dozenth time.

Sirius certainly hadn't gotten to hear this yet! He was squirming with such excitement the words weren't flowing at a normal level and no one seemed to care.

He'd already let in that first goal of course, but as Bradley had come flying up to him, Ron had been watching for it, and he'd seen him fainting so Ron had just, followed the true throw, and well, they'd seen the rest, he concluded modestly.

Remus rolled his eyes, finding that the perfect opening Ron had provided, but he'd feel heartless admitting right there that he had no clue what had happened and dampen Ron's marvelous achievement.

"Good on him," James threw his shoulders back in pride. "I knew if he just held a bit more confidence he'd get it!"

"I can't believe we didn't get to hear more about it!" Sirius groaned as he glared at the pages but just couldn't bring himself to keep that look on Harry, it was more pouting. "Hagrid couldn't have waited just one more hour to finally tell you what was going on!"

Harry honestly agreed, he wished he had stayed at the game more, but it felt wrong to say so about his friend.

He swept his hair back and glanced hopefully at a group of passing girls.

The four of them burst out laughing while James just looked bemused and ruffled up his own hair to further their point.

Then he caught Harry's look and asked why he was grinning like that?

"Never thought my best mate would remind me of my dad," Harry chuckled softly, sure that was the first time in his youth he'd found some way to think better of his dad after that disastrous memory.

Harry denied he was doing any such thing, looking back to his books and not admitting Ron had reminded him of another Gryffindor player so many years ago doing the exact same thing.

The five of them smiled wider than ever, pleased beyond words Harry was finally able to look back at the lone memory he had of his father in his youth with some actual fondness.

Harry instead fibbed he was still just happy they'd won.

Ron savored those words, curious if Harry had also enjoyed watching Chang's face when Ginny had got the Snitch right from under her.

Harry bitterly muttered he supposed she'd cried.

"I really can see why you wouldn't want to put up with her if that's her response to everything," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Ron frowned in surprise that she had while chucking her broom away, hadn't he seen?

Remus let out a low whistle. "There's a temper we haven't seen yet."

"Ron's starting to get suspicious," James said in a sing song voice.

Harry stalled on answering, so Hermione finally admitted they'd only been there for his first unprotected goal.

Even Ron's hair seemed to wilt with disappointment.

Sirius couldn't help a surprised laugh at that description, even as he felt truly awful for Ron.

He looked from one to the other faintly, asking they hadn't seen any of it?

"Neither did we," James pouted, "so if you could just let him keep telling you about them-"

"James," Lily sighed, "Ron'll have pounded it into Harry's brain by this time, he can share it with us later."

The boys pouted, but didn't argue the point.

Hermione pleadingly tried to explain they'd had no choice, Ron interrupting to demanded to know why?

"I'd be miffed to," James huffed, even knowing the reason.

Harry finally explained everything to Ron, whose indignation quickly switched to incredulity.

"That's a kinder reaction than anyone in here had," Harry muttered.

Then he said 'no,' as if saying it would make it true.

"That has yet to work for us, but good luck trying," Sirius muttered.

Hermione firmly said oh yes he had, Grawp was a sixteen foot tall giant who enjoyed ripping up twenty foot trees and calling her Hermy.

"Well at least she got the highlights," James couldn't help a little twisted smile for that.

Ron stated Hagrid had lost his mind.

"At some point, seeing the depth of the truth is quite awe inspiring," Remus sighed.

Hermione agreed with that, but reminded they had promised to help.

Ron at once said they'd just have to break that promise!

"He's already done that once this year," Lily grumbled with a sideways look at Remus they all ignored no matter how true it was.

When had they ever come out better from messing with Hagrid's monsters?

"A detention really wasn't the worst thing in the world for that, even though the detention itself wasn't any fun,' James shivered in remembrance of the first time.

"Aragog was a bleeding nightmare, but at least fascinating," Remus shrugged.

"They stuck their necks out for Buckbeak," Lily said fairly, "I think that one warrants something."

"One out of five, as I count the Skrewts as no good at all as well," Sirius said deadpan. "Hagrid's not got a very good track record."

Ron took a breath and tried to sooth that at least they didn't have to worry about this until Hagrid was sacked, hopefully they wouldn't have to go near him again.

"Lucky Ron," Lily rolled her eyes while Harry got a pained look on his face no one wanted to question why.

OWLs were upon them at last.

Sirius gave a heavy sigh, but settled himself in preparation for some boredom, and honest curiosity. He wanted to hear how well Harry did even if he wasn't going to enjoy the flashbacks of his own.

Teacher's were no longer assigning homework but spent whole classes doing rapid fire review questions. Harry spent many of these in Potions wondering if Lupin had ever come talk to Snape about his Occlumency lessons,

"If so, then we're likely to never find the body," Sirius said uneasily.

"I'm really hurt you two don't think I can handle him," Remus pouted.

"Oh we know you could match him in a duel-" James waved off.

"We just don't think you would," Sirius kept frowning as he pictured all the ways that conversation would go, and none of them were good.

Lily wondered if his two friends underestimated Remus too much, he had just as much fury at these circumstances at Snape if Remus really thought Harry should be doing these.

but if he had, then Snape had ignored Lupin as thoroughly as he was now ignoring Harry.

They all decided to let the matter go uneasily though, clearly nothing was going to be done about it anytime soon.

Harry was plenty relieved with this, he had enough extra work without Snape adding in. To his relief, even Hermione hadn't brought it up again she was so busy studying.

"Hallelujah!" Sirius cheered.

"You and Hermione finally agree on something, and you still can't agree," Harry shook his head, trying to laugh instead of letting that headache rise again.

"I don't know what's crawled up my arse to think you should be spending extra time with Snape," Sirius shrugged without remorse. "So until I actually get a long over due explanation, I'm on your side pup."

Harry beamed at him, knowing he'd never get tired of hearing that, feeling such a thing flowing through him that would never just be a simple emotion to him.

She spent so much time pouring over books she hadn't even laid out elf clothes for days.

"You know, I've just thought, how was she paying for those?" Lily asked, wondering if her parents were really sending her extra knitting supplies.

"I think she used whatever money she pulled together from that SPEW campaign last year," Harry shrugged. "After that ran out, yeah I imagine she used her own money."

She wasn't the only one acting slightly off, Ernie had developed the habit of interrogating others on their amount of revision.

"Fascinating," James said in surprise.

"I'd have decked him," Sirius rolled his eyes at once at the idea.

"Then you'd have gotten detention and still had to do more studying," Remus pleasantly reminded.

"I'm sure it would be worth it," Sirius shrugged.

"Least he wasn't in your house," Harry said sadly, imagining Ernie's dorm mates had it far worse.

Beginning to interrogate Ron if he was doing more or less than eight?

Ron said less while looking alarmed.

"I would be to," Lily said with a slight grin, she knew she'd been frantic during her exams, now with the added stress of not speaking to her best friend on a permanent basis. She'd been as likely to murder someone as a Death Eater if she'd been crossed wrong at that time.

Ernie prattled off his own recital until he was cut off by Sprout.

"There's something deeply wrong with the lad when he's memorizing literally how much he's memorizing," Remus said with a touch of concern.

Meanwhile, Draco Malfoy had found a different way to induce panic.

"Of course he has," James said in disgust.

Telling anyone who would listen, Crabbe and Goyle, that his dad was very good friends with all of the examiners, he'd just had Griselda Marchbanks over for dinner the other night.

"From all we've heard about, I can't even say I'm surprised," Sirius with a crinkled nose.

"I'll pay whatever Malfoy gives them double just to flunk him in everything," James snapped.

"Don't waste your money Prongs," Remus scolded, "he'll do that all on his own, and if someone does pass him otherwise, get them fired instead."

James happily accepted this alternative with a wicked grin while Harry started snickering at the lot of them.

Hermione got a bit panicky when she heard this one, Ron didn't help by reminding if it was true they couldn't do anything about it.

Neville stepped in and offered he didn't think so, as his Gran was friends with Griselda Marchbanks, and she'd never mentioned the Malfoy's.

"Guess it is some relief half of what that ferret turd says is a lie," Sirius grinned.

Hermione eagerly turned on him asking what she was like?

Neville said like his Gran.

"That was not encouraging," Lily blanched a bit at remembering that woman's few appearances and mentioning's.

Ron tried to encourage at least Neville had a slightly better start than them knowing the person.

Neville disagreed, telling that his Gran told Marchbanks and everyone he wasn't as good as his dad.

"Glory that woman!" James spat in outrage. Clearly Neville needed his own Sirius around to remind him he didn't have to be like his parents for them to be proud!

"Someone needs to tell that woman in detail what she's doing to Neville," Lily said in disgust, more than happy to volunteer if so given the chance.

He tried to say they'd seen what she was like in St. Mungo's but stopped awkwardly there. The three weren't sure what to say, it had been the first time he'd brought it up.

Meanwhile,

"Wait, that was it," Remus yelped in surprise, his pale face having lost an extra few shades at the reminder.

"Yep," Sirius muttered, trying not to glance at Harry, but curiosity won out.

He sighed and admitted, "yeah, we just kind of awkwardly stood there until he went into Potions. Apologizing just doesn't feel right, it sounds empty when people say it to me anyways, but, you know, couldn't think up anything else to say."

There was an awkward silence as they all agreed there wasn't anything to be said after something like that, so Sirius kept going loudly for this meanwhile change of subject.

a flourishing black-market trade in aids for mental agility had sprung up among the fifth and seventh-years.

"I remember this!" James bounced eagerly onto chatting loudly even if his voice did sound a bit too high pitched.

"Weren't you the ones who spread that story sleeping with black dog hair would give you luck?" Lily demanded with a raised brow.

James no longer bothered to deny this as he had back then, "yeah, even got Padfoot to 'try some' for a day and he answered every question any teacher threw at him the next day. We made a killing in profits for a few hours before this Hufflepuff Prefect Gabriel Truman got us in detention with McGonagall for spreading the story."

"Be thankful she didn't ask where you were getting all the dog hair," Remus rolled his eyes.

"How'd you fake getting all the answers right?" Harry asked curiously.

Sirius looked affronted as he said, "I actually knew them!"

While Remus rebutted, "we all took turns whispering the answers he didn't know. Between all of us, he got there."

"See if I ever do your Potions homework again," Sirius grumbled.

"I'll take you up on that," Remus rolled his eyes, while Sirius winced at his own stupid comment.

Harry and Ron were much tempted by the bottle of Baruffio's Brain Elixir offered to them by Ravenclaw sixth-year Eddie Carmichael,

"Oh Harry," Lily sighed. "Didn't you learn your lesson in second year with this nonsense."

"I really didn't want to fail all my exams," Harry said without remorse.

who swore it was solely responsible for the nine "Outstanding" OWLs he had gained the previous summer,

"I'd want to see that paper myself before I believed that," Remus sniffed.

and was offering a whole pint for a mere twelve Galleons.

"Oh is that all," James chuckled. "We only demanded a galleon a bag."

"It was my fur," Sirius frowned, "I think I should have decided how to charge when Remus tried to shave me bald."

"You should have let Prongs offer some then," Remus smirked.

"It was my idea, I wanted the credit," Sirius huffed.

"There's no pleasing him," James informed the other two.

Ron was just assuring he'd pay back Harry his half if he split with him, when Hermione showed up and flushed it down the toilet.

"Hermione really is handy to have around some of the time," Lily chuckled while the boys stopped their bickering.

Ron tried to protest her, but Hermione scathed they may as well buy Harold Dingle's powdered dragon claw while they were at it.

"Oh, now there's something really worth buying," Remus grinned.

"You couldn't pay me to eat that for any reason," Sirius crinkled his nose in disgust.

"I'll bet it was doxy dung or something mixed with water," James smirked. "People try to pass off a ton of things like that, a little color changing charm, bam. You've got those fifth years fooled."

"Thank you so much," Harry muttered, agreeing with his mum and thankful Hermione had stopped them if that was the case.

Ron begged Hermione to give him just a pinch of that, but Hermione told them it was just dried Doxy droppings like the rest of this garbage was when she'd tested it.

"Some things never change," Sirius said nostalgically.

This information took the edge off Harry and Ron's desire for brain stimulants.

The four laughed at Harry's relieved look, though they had full confidence he wouldn't really need them.

They were given the time tables of all their exams in their next Transfiguration class, along with McGonagall's anti-cheating lecture.

"We got this speech every year," James groaned.

"Clearly it was needed, as someone tried something every year," Lily rolled her eyes.

Banned from the examination were: Auto-Answer Quills,

"Those are banned from the school," Remus reminded.

"Doesn't stop people from using them," Sirius shrugged.

Remembralls,

"Those wouldn't even be helpful in an exam," James rolled his eyes.

and Detachable Cribbing Cuffs.

"Those are new," Lily couldn't help her eyes lighting with interest, for the magic of course, not because she'd ever try to use one just to beat out Potter in just one Transfiguration test...

Every year someone seemed to think they could get past these rules, and they were always caught. She hoped it wasn't a Gryffindor, she finished sternly. Then she continued that their, Headmistress,

"I wonder how badly she hurt her tongue spitting that one out," Remus said in sympathy.

Harry watched Sirius' disgusted face and found it a close proximity.

McGonagall pronounced the word with the same look on her face that Petunia had whenever she was contemplating a particularly stubborn bit of dirt,

"Normally I'd shame you comparing the two," James shook his head, "but McGonagall deserves whatever look she has for this."

had stated there would be severe punishment to any cheaters, as of course, their examination results reflected on her.

"Don't tell them that!" Lily spluttered in concern. "We don't need students failing out of spite!"

"We already got them doing that in Potions, no need for the whole school to suffer," Sirius agreed.

She gave a tiny sigh, Harry saw her nostrils flare again before she continued this was no reason not to try their best, they had their own futures to think of.

"Ha!" Sirius barked, all of them smiling just a bit for McGonagall's cheek.

Hermione asked how soon they'd be getting results, and McGonagall said not until July.

"Just what I always wanted for my birthday," Harry sighed.

Harry imagined sitting in his bedroom in Privet Drive in six weeks' time,

Lily blanched in frustration, thinking surely he wouldn't spend nearly a whole summer there again! Sirius or someone would fight back, get Harry out of there!

waiting for his OWL results. At least he would be sure of one bit of post that summer.

"Thank you for that lovely reminder," Sirius sighed, not exactly grateful for remembering that, but it had still been better than Harry living under that webbed thumb and everything else that had occurred.

Their first exam was Charms Monday morning and Harry agreed to quiz Hermione over it, which he immediately regretted as she kept snatching the book away to make sure her answers were word perfect, finally giving him back the book with so much force she cracked him over the nose.

"That'll train you not to be as fast as her," James chuckled weakly, his mind still on his son's upcoming holidays and how not fun that was going to be again.

"Never worked on Sirius, so don't hold your breath," Remus shrugged.

Ron was seen reading two years' worth of Charms notes with his fingers in his ears, his lips moving soundlessly;

"How did he turn the page?" Sirius asked innocently.

"You're an idiot," Lily pleasantly informed him.

and Parvati and Lavender, who were practicing basic Locomotion Charms, were making their pencil-cases race each other around the edge of the table.

"Good of them to have some fun with it," James smiled, remembering that's how they'd spent their nights before exams, trying to make up as many games as possible with the spells needed. They'd been kicked out of the common room several times for this.

Dinner was a subdued affair, many people not eating much and instead ducking back down for books to check as well as nip a few bites.

Hermione suddenly let her silverware fall with a clatter as she saw the Entrance Hall.

"That's never a good sign," Sirius shivered a bit, wondering what new atrocity could be occurring just before this.

The two boys turned and spotted what had her so spooked, several extremely old people were coming in being led by Umbridge, who looked nervous, as Hermione whispered those were the examiners.

"I really wish I could see how much Umbridge has been sending to the Ministry about her improvements to the castle," Lily said blandly.

"I really want them to take a peek at the twins swamp!" James smirked.

Wanting a closer look, the three abandoned their meal and slowly walked past the group, pausing as Umbridge spoke to an extremely elder lady.

"Oh I remember her now," Lily snapped her fingers. "Yes, she was a sweet thing, told me even before I walked out I was guaranteed an O in my Charms."

"Lucky you," Sirius made a face at her, "I turned my pumpkin the wrong color and the man wouldn't stop laughing the whole time. The one time I wasn't trying to make someone laugh!"

"What color did you turn it?" Harry asked in surprise.

"It was supposed to be blue," he began grudgingly, "and yet somehow I turned it black," he finished still fighting back a smile years later at his unintentional joke, and Harry was so surprised he burst out laughing as well.

Marchbanks was waving off Umbridge's concern about the journey, instead mentioning she hadn't heard from Dumbledore lately,

"Neither have we," Remus rolled his eyes.

"Does she not keep up with the news?" James asked in surprise.

adding on they still had no clue where he was?

"Ah, okay, now I really like her," Sirius smirked when he realized this Marchbanks was actually just rubbing it in.

Umbridge gave a forced smile as she said they'd catch up with him.

Marchbanks just laughed and told how much she doubted that, she'd examined Dumbledore during his NEWTs, and he'd done things with a wand she hadn't seen since.

Lily felt her mouth go dry with shock as she realized the same person who'd marked her had also done Dumbledore! It really put into perspective how old their headmaster was, how old this woman was!

The boys were just laughing raucously for what they considered a very good return.

Umbridge shot a nasty look at the trio as she passed them, before encouraging her guests up to the staff room for some tea.

"Not with you in the room, I doubt I could breathe through your fumes," Remus snipped.

Harry went to bed that night regretting his career consultation,

"McGonagall hasn't seemed to be living up to that one yet," Sirius said conversationally.

"She didn't have any doubts he'd pass Charms," Lily reminded. "Mostly it was just Potions."

"Then it's a good thing Snape's not allowed to set the exams," James huffed, "otherwise Harry would have to beg Merlin himself to get a pass."

and wishing he'd told McGonagall a more realistic option.

"Harry, this is plenty achievable," Remus wouldn't let his spirits fall if this was something he really wanted. "I can already tell you've shown an aptitude for it."

Harry smiled appreciatively for the praise, something warm inside him saying he agreed with Remus.

Breakfast was no better than the meal before, students still trying their hardest for last minute studying. Parvati was practicing an incantation on a salt cellar that was only twitching,

"I'm sure that wasn't encouraging," Lily winced.

and Neville kept dropping the marmalade with nerves.

"So he was practicing the Evanesce charm," Sirius offered.

They had their written in the morning and practical's in the evening, so when breakfast was over they were all milling around waiting to be let back in. Harry stepped through to find the Great Hall exactly as it had been from Snape's memory, all of the desks set up and McGonagall waiting at the front.

"Why isn't the teacher of the lesson there?" Harry asked, recalling wanting to ask this last time, but he'd been a little distracted.

"Takes pressure off I suppose if the regular teacher isn't there," James shrugged.

"I thought it was another method of anti-cheating," Remus offered. "Teacher of the class couldn't show favoritism and possibly slip an answer if they aren't even there."

Harry flipped his paper over to begin, and found the first question asking for the incantation and wand wrist movement to make objects fly.

They all released a very surprised burst of laughter as they recalled a club knocking a troll out, nothing more memorable about that spell.

Harry had a fleeting memory of a club soaring high into the air and landing loudly on the thick skull of a troll . . . smiling slightly, he bent over the paper and began to write.

"I hope that's a good marker for the rest of these," Sirius kept chuckling. He never would have believed he could look back on that as a fond memory, but considering everything that had happened in the meantime, it was almost hilarious they'd once been afraid of a troll around Harry.

Hermione walked out saying that wasn't as bad as she thought.

"This coming from the girl who once got a perfect score on Charms," Lily sighed. Charms had come naturally to her and even she'd never achieved that.

She was worried she hadn't done enough justice to it, she hadn't added the counter-charm to cure hiccups for the Cheering Charm-

"What exam was Hermione taking?" Harry shook his head in disbelief. Even after five years, he still felt exasperated at her over achieving ways no matter how many times they saved his life.

Ron cut her off before she could keep going, telling her he did not want to sit through the examination again, it was bad enough the first time.

"I don't know, I'd probably let her," Remus said fairly. "I'd instantly be getting my results back on what I put down."

"Not worth it," James agreed with Ron, "I'd smother her from stress after the third answer I didn't put down as detailed as her."

The house tables were returned for lunch, and then they entered for practical's in alphabetical order. Harry entered with Flitwick at the door telling him who he would be examining with.

"I can see why they were allowed inside for these though," Remus kept explaining without a prompt from Harry. "They get to see your work in class be put to the test."

Harry smiled at his eager tone, the way his eyes shone with just a hint of what they would if he'd been in the back of a DADA hall like he should.

Harry went over to a tiny little man who was only a space away from where Malfoy was halfway through his test.

James let out a surprised snort of laughter, saying, "how slow was he going? He was three letters off and still in there!"

"I always said these should be timed, students can't stall and make themselves feel worse for not being able to think," Remus said with just a touch of sympathy.

Professor Tofty greeted him by his full name in surprise, confirming the famous Harry Potter?

"If there was more than one, Harry wouldn't have nearly as many problems as he did," Sirius said in disgust.

Harry saw Malfoy throw him a dirty look and the cup he was supposed to be levitating fell and smashed.

All of them got a righteous giggle out of that considering the prats own earlier boosting and knowing it wouldn't help Harry at all even if he'd needed it.

Grinning to himself, he felt his exam went much better, his Levitation Charm had certainly been more smooth, though he wished he hadn't mixed up Color Changing and Growth, he had his rat swell to twice its size before he figured out how to correct it.

"There you go Sirius," Harry said swiftly, as just the mention of the little animal had set his teeth back on edge. "At least you stayed in the right spell!"

Sirius put up a smile for Harry's attempts.

He failed to tell Hermione this, but admitted it to Ron after he told he'd somehow mutated his plate into a mushroom with no clue how.

Then they all got a genuine laugh for that one, fondly remembering Ron's broken wand in second year and wondering if the poor kid had been thinking the same during some spell.

They had not a chance to relax after the one, moving on to Transfiguration all evening. During the written part, Harry forgot the definition of a Switching Spell,

Harry frowned sadly, still wishing more than anything he'd taken a liking to one of his parents old subjects, but still smiled pleasantly as both kept beaming fondly at him and all of his progress being so heavily described it was worth whatever grade he got for the attempt.

but thought his practical could have been a lot worse. At least he managed to Vanish the whole of his iguana, whereas poor Hannah Abbott,

Sirius frowned in genuine concern for this poor girl still being in there when Harry was! He'd have honestly passed her just out of pity for clearly freezing up for so long.

somehow managed to turn a ferret into a whole flock of flamingos, and the hall had to be emptied until they were all caught.

"Oh, were you in there for that?" Sirius asked in surprise as he fixed his thoughts.

"No, she just told us what happened while crying," Harry winced for the poor girl who hadn't even wanted to go back in and finish until Neville had took her aside and calmed her down.

They had their Herbology exam on Wednesday, and other than a small bite from a Fanged Geranium, Harry felt he had done reasonably well there.

Sirius kept reading very loudly before his friends could have another go at him for that subject.

On Thursday, Defence Against the Dark Arts.

All five of them winced hard for the last time this had come up, but thankfully Harry had very clearly put that in his past where it would stay this time, even Lily didn't go as pale as usual upon thinking of this day in light of watching her son relive it.

For the first time, Harry finally had full confidence. He knew every question on the written and gave in-detail answers, and the practical was just as much of a breeze, performing every requested jinx and counter jinx while smirking at Umbridge watching.

"Always good to have your target in sight," James said with relish as he pictured a variety of things he'd cast at her too.

His examiner proclaimed him as done, unless he'd like to try for a bonus point and do a Patronus?

Harry raised his wand, imagined Umbridge being sacked,

"Happiest memory I'd conjured in ages," Harry's smirk only widened in here what it had been at the time.

and shouted Expecto Patronum.

The whole hall stopped in surprise as the stag cantered around, and Harry was released with a hearty congratulations.

As he passed Umbridge, there was a nasty smile at the edge of her mouth and Harry didn't even care.

James was in such a giddy mood for Harry's clear overwhelming happiness at this he didn't even care what was running through her rotted mind!

Unless he was mistaken, and he wasn't going to say it aloud incase he was, Harry felt sure he'd just gotten an Outstanding OWL.

"I have no doubts whatsoever," they all reassured him, Harry never having felt such pride in his life.

They got a bit of a break on Friday as Hermione took her Ancient Runes, and she came back in a right temper to see the two playing chess. She at once furiously told them she'd mistranslated ehwaz, meaning partnership, as eihwaz, meaning defence.

"Sirius, you pronounced those exactly the same," Lily corrected, grasping what words he'd meant by their translations. "Ehwaz is-"

"Prongs, stop your wife before I do," Sirius grumbled, though continued reading loudly before the threat could be carried out and Lily just huffed at him.

Ron tried to say it was only one mistake-

Hermione told him to shut up.

"Ooh, snappy," Remus chuckled, Sirius did a rather good impersonation of that.

It was the difference between her passing and failing!

"I honestly can't imagine her failing any class," James said lightheartedly.

"She could still take Divination and pass it," Harry agreed.

What's worse was she'd passed Umbridge's office and another Niffler was in there trying to take a chunk out of her leg.

"What kind of jewelry has she got-" Remus blinked in surprise, before they all blanched in disgust and did not want to ask further.

Harry and Ron said good together.

"Not really," Lily sighed, remembering the last time this was mentioned.

Hermione heatedly said no it wasn't! She thought Hagrid was doing this!

Harry gestured out the window where Hagrid was teaching a class and pointed out he couldn't have done that, and Hermione called Harry naïve.

Harry frowned in reproach, wishing he'd quit forgetting to avoid Hermione right after an exam.

That wasn't going to stop her!

Then she stormed off to the dorm and slammed the door behind her.

Ron noted what a lovely, sweet-tempered girl she was while turning back to his game.

They all burst out with laughter at that one, not at all blaming him for waiting until the echo faded before he'd said this.

Hermione's bad mood lasted the whole weekend, and Harry wasn't feeling much better come the following Monday. He'd spent every spare second trying to study for Potions, the one exam he was sure would be his downfall in becoming an Auror.

"Now where's McGonagall when I need her," Harry sighed.

"You'll do fine," Lily insisted. "I've seen proof already you can do this if you're not under pressure, and Snape can't do anything to you in there."

"It doesn't mean I'll be getting that O though," he said morosely, not feeling remotely better at how true he felt that was, but it was of some comfort it didn't make the vision in his head of this job dim any less.

Sure enough, he found the written paper difficult, though he thought he might have got full marks on the question about Polyjuice Potion;

"That's a sixth year potion!" Sirius protested this.

"It was a bonus question," Harry shrugged. He got a much more forced laugh from that experience, they remembered this too vividly being a problem last year.

he could describe its effects accurately, having taken it illegally in his second year.

"Thank you for the pleasant call back," James shook his head, still having the urge to be sick at mention of that Basilisk for too long and grateful Sirius didn't linger.

The afternoons practical wasn't as bad, even with Snape at the back, the whole environment made for a far more pleasant feel than Harry had ever felt while over a cauldron. Neville seemed to be feeling the same, both potions came out the right color.

Lily gave a pitiful sigh, having wished more times than she could count her son wouldn't suffer in that class, that he may even have been able to flourish in it if not for that arse hole treating him the way he did.

Parvati sighed with relief they only had four exams left, but Hermione would not be soothed, shouting she still had Arithmancy, and that was the hardest one!

Nobody was foolish enough to snap back,

"So you lot do have a sense of life," Remus chuckled.

so she was unable to vent her spleen on any of them and was reduced to telling off some first-years for giggling too loudly in the common room.

"Hermione's a real peach, don't let me ever say otherwise," Lily shook her head for the poor girl so stressed.

They had Care of Magical Creatures on Tuesday, and Harry felt he did reasonably well, getting all the points right on what the different creatures ate and how to identify them, only managing to get one serious bad burn from a fire-crab while cleaning it to really catch him off.

"I didn't get a single one, but thanks for asking," Sirius grinned at Harry, who gave his obligatory laugh as he watched his godfather, but hated how strained it sounded for his gut tightening inside him every second. He could feel something approaching him, some mark that left him as unhappy as Hermione at the thought of the end of the OWLs...

The others were just hoping the joke was finally wearing off of him.

Their written Astronomy took place Wednesday morning, and while Harry hadn't remembered all of Jupiter's moons, at least he was sure none of them were covered in mice.

"It's good to know Hermione's tutoring had some lingering effects," James snickered in remembrance.

They had to wait until evening for their practical Astronomy;

Harry twitched hard at that, and they gave him sympathetic looks for his exams starting to get to him by this time, he'd lasted longer than others.

so they did their Divination that afternoon, which was by far his worst yet.

"How?" Sirius demanded as a boyish laugh erupted. "You've had loads of practice by now just to make it up."

"Trelawney's not even the one there, you can reuse old ones," James agreed.

He described his tea-leaves as a soggy old man, and informed during the palm reading that his examiner should have died last Tuesday.

Harry felt a shot of relief as everyone laughed around him for this display, forcing himself to relax as well and convince himself nothing worse could happen during an examination than that.

Ron's had not gone much better, as he'd spent quite some time giving a detailed account of an ugly old man with a wart in his crystal ball before looking up to realize it was his examiner.

'Or even that,' he mentally conceded as the laughter doubled.

Harry said they never should have taken it in the first place, Ron now agreeing at least they could drop it. From now on, he didn't care if his tea leaves spelled out for him to die, he'd just put them in the trash where they belonged.*

Sirius slumped in his seat he was laughing so hard by now, and Harry watched him affectionately trying to force this feeling of nausea to recede rather than increase like it was. It took his godfather a moment to collect himself and brush his hair back out of his face before he could continue, and Harry had gotten nowhere.

Harry laughed until he saw Hermione approaching, so quickly stopped.

Hermione wasn't in too bad a mood, saying her Arithmancy had gone well, and now they had some time to look over their star charts before dinner.

Harry wrapped his arm around his torso in pain, smothering a groan as the pressure kept building in his head and his gut. What about an exam would cause such a feeling of panic to rile him up?

The others finally noticed what Harry was trying to repress, but Sirius didn't hesitate in going on very loudly now. Surely it was just exam nerves scaring the boy senseless...

They were up on the Astronomy tower with a perfect cloudless night. Harry was looking for the constellation Orion,

"Don't be ridiculous Harry," Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's June, you won't find that one unless you've found a way to look through the sun."

Harry did indeed look chagrined, but didn't have very high hopes for passing this class anyways.

when the doors below open and six people walked out of the castle across the lawn.

Harry shivered deep in his seat, fighting back the urge to close his eyes in pain and instead they were watering up. He just knew he did not like this, it was going to cause something so terrible to happen...

Harry glanced over the parapets, watching their movement before he was reminded of the exam going on.

Lily hummed at this, no one in any delusion this was what was causing Harry such a stir. It was beyond odd though, what was going on in the grounds at that hour, and why would it cause Harry to look as if in fear for someone's life?

In the poor lighting though, he was sure he could spot a squat figure amongst them.

"Oh boy," James broke the heavy silence with dread.

He could not think why Umbridge would be taking a stroll outside after midnight, much less accompanied by five others.

"Got turned around?" Remus offered, a proper joke failing him as they all watched Harry's twitching frame.

Then the night's silence was broken by a large dog barking.

"Oh dear," Lily managed a soft whisper of unease as now they were all as tense as Harry. This couldn't be good...

Lights turned at Hagrid's place, and the six figures seemed to be welcomed over the threshold.

"No, no, no, not again!" Sirius burst in frustration.

"They're, they're not really trying to arrest Hagrid!" James bellowed in protest.

Harry's mouth was cotton dry, he couldn't find air to breathe. He was worried for Hagrid, but there was something more, something that wasn't having him question Hagrid's safety, but some member of the Order's...

Harry felt uneasy as he watched shadows threw the window, but still tried to put his eyes back to the sky.

"Oh I've long since forgotten about this," Remus snarled in frustration, he knew he'd have marched down there and said something about this.

Then there was a roar of outrage echoing from the ground, and several people ducked down to look now.

Professor Tofty gave a dry little cough to keep their attention.

"Excuse him!" Lily spluttered. "After that kind of noise, I'd be dismissing the lot and seeing what was going on!"

Sirius' foot was tapping in agitation, his eyes peeling words away so fast he wasn't sure what he was actually saying until he felt the reactions of the others and he had to pause for breath and take it in, he couldn't imagine Hagrid going back to that place anymore than him!

He encouraged them to concentrate, and most people did turn back to their work, but a glance over showed Hermione was still transfixed on the cabin below.

"That should really be saying something," James tried to say obstinately, but it fell flat, even poking fun at Hermione held nothing for anyone right now.

With the twenty minute warning, even Hermione gave a regretful jump and tried to put some more work down.

"Oh, well, never mind then." James hardly more than mouthed the joke, his every attention focused on Sirius to find what had happened to Hagrid.

Not moments later though, several people poked themselves in the eye in surprise at the BANG that wrenched the night, now everyone watching as Hagrid was storming out of his cabin with red lights flashing around him, they were trying to Stun him.

"No!" Lily cried in frustration, her arms automatically curling to shield her infant from the outrage around him before she gratefully remembered he wasn't down here.

"They can't do this to him!" Sirius howled with fury.

"As if that's ever stopped them before," Remus said in disgust.

"Hagrid's fighting back this time though," James grimly reminded as the scene was put together in his mind.

Hermione shrieked no, but Tofty curtly reminded this was an examination.

"Nobody cares," Harry said through gritted teeth, his thudding heart promising this still wasn't the worst to come.

Nobody even noticed, as someone shouted at Hagrid to be reasonable, and Hagrid told Dawlish reasonable be damned. Harry could just spot the outline of Fang jumped around at Hagrid's feet, keeping himself between the wizards and his owner,

"A fearsome sight in itself," Sirius said grimly, even if Fang never attacked a single one of them.

until a Stunning Spell caught him and he fell to the ground.

Remus made a blistering noise of outrage, that was more than uncalled for.

Hagrid gave a howl of fury, lifted the culprit bodily from the ground and threw him; the man flew what looked like ten feet and did not get up.

"I'm wondering if he ever will again," Lily said through numb lips as that kept replaying in her head.

Hermione gasped, Harry and Ron were terrified. None had ever seen Hagrid in a true temper.

"Wish we never had," James whispered, never wanting to have been there more for a friend than when he was being attacked on all sides.

Then the front doors opened again, and someone else came marching across the lawn in the Entrance Hall lights.

Harry felt it, that ratcheting fear reaching a crescendo, this was not going to make things better!

Tofty tried to pull back attention, reminding there was only sixteen minutes left.

"No one cares!" Sirius burst in outrage, hurriedly trying to skip past that interruption.

Nobody paid him a mind as McGonagall shouted how dare they!

"Oh now they're in for it," Remus said with a predatory smile. Even without raising a wand, suddenly they were all confident McGonagall would somehow find a way to set this right.

She kept up her shouting at them, demanding to know what grounds they had to warrant such-

The girls upon the roof screamed as four Stunners were shot at McGonagall.

Sirius' heart thudded, and actually came to a stop for several moments. He only kept reading the results of this with the last of his air,

Only halfway there, the beams collided with her, and for just a moment she glowed red before the spell took and she flew back, landing without further movement.**

before his tightly drawn face went slack in shock.

"Oh my gosh! Oh, my goodness! No, she, she can't have," Lily was a babbling mess, suddenly on her feet and running forward to snatch the book away from Sirius' numb fingers. Her eyes nearly burned a hole through the pages, all she could see was red and their head of house-

James hadn't realized he was doing it until the spell burst from his lips, and apparently his aim was quite off as he set a bit of the wall on fire. While the flash of heat went quite unnoticed considering how incensed they all were, James was also forced to extinguish it just as fast before his shaking limbs didn't allow another spell.

Their outrage was ceased by Harry, and for once not the baby. That he was angry was as clear as the rest of them, his face was an eerie calm of a storm the likes of they'd last seen on Privet Drive when he'd thought he was being attacked by Death Eaters, but now it was much more personal. The truly scary part though came from his trembling lip, that fear leaving his pupils blown so wide. They just couldn't believe it, McGonagall was going to live through this, right? Yet that look on his face left the haunting expression someone wouldn't, and they could only hope it was the fools who'd done this to her, what Hagrid had just done would be like Grawp playing with a twig.

Sirius couldn't swallow for several moments, feeling as if his own tongue had been jammed down his throat and he had to fight hard to force his eyes to go back to recognizing mere words rather than the tirade of curses he wanted to rain down on someone as he gingerly took the book back from Lily in fear for his own life. Moony had to come over and guide her back to her seat she was so stunned, but neither could bend their knees to sit.

 No one was going to live after what had just been done to his favorite teacher! The first authority figure he'd ever respected in his life because she'd earned it rather than making him fear her! Harry needed him though, his pup needed to get through this first to know she was going to be okay and give them a list of names.

Tofty finally seemed to have forgotten about his own exam,

"Finally," Remus said faintly, casting his wand vaguely to at least stop the hole smoking. Neither him nor Lily could be properly still, too frantic and needing something to do and listening to Sirius talk wasn't helping!

as he called their behaviour outrages.

Hagrid clearly felt the same, calling them all cowards as he used his fists now and two of them fell with each swipe.

James made an unsatisfied noise even as he put a tight hold on Harry's shoulder as a reminder he was here, it was all going to be okay.

Umbridge shouted at the last Auror standing to stop him, both trying to send one last stunner. For a moment Hagrid stooped, as if he'd finally been felled, but then he got back up with something over his shoulder, and Harry realized it was Fang. Then he took off running towards the distant gates and vanished.

"How, could, she," Lily was nearly hyperventilating she was so beyond words to express this.

There was a long, drawn minute of silence before Tofty tried one last time to remind them they only had five minutes left.

Sirius blinked sluggishly for a moment, unable to grasp back the fact that something as mundane as an exam was going on. He wanted to hear someone checking on Minerva!

No one seemed to get any last minute work done, as they were finally dismissed and the students at once began discussing what they'd seen.

Ernie said he wasn't surprised at Umbridge's timing, she'd clearly been trying to avoid another scene like Trelawney's.

Ron was impressed how well Hagrid had held his own,

Harry noticed in a detached way the students almost excitement for this, like they'd just watched a show.

while Hermione explained it would be his giants blood that had made it so hard to take him down, but poor McGonagall.

"She's going to be fine though!" James said hastily as Harry shivered harder than ever. "McGonagall's tough as they come, I'm half surprised they didn't bounce off her like Hagrid."

Harry saw distantly what he was trying to do, but it was hard to concentrate on his voice, he just kept hearing Sirius read and he wanted to plug his ears shut as well as never stop hearing that again. Which was ridiculous, Sirius hadn't even been involved in this...

Ernie gave a pompous shake to his head, saying how dreadful all this was, before he nipped off to bed.

Lily's eyes burned, he could have showed a little more worry for two of the staff!

Ron mentioned at least Hagrid hadn't been sent to Azkaban.

Sirius felt his skin crawl hatefully at the reminder, knowing that was still a horrid outcome, but somehow a worse one had happened!

Then he supposed Hagrid had joined Dumbledore somewhere. Hermione agreed, but she looked almost tearful as she realized she'd expected Dumbledore to somehow come back by now, instead they'd lost Hagrid too.

All four of them were surprised at just one passing comment for McGonagall. They'd been worried for Hagrid sure, but McGonagall was their real outrage, and they weren't likely to settle until they heard of someone taking care of her, though they'd never admit aloud she needed any such thing. Those kids were still young enough though, they were not as caught up in DA as they should have been, perhaps did not even realize four stunners was four times worse than just the single spell. It would knock you back and leave you as injured as any hex with the blow of so much magic.

They got back to Gryffindor tower and saw Dean and Seamus had beat them there, woken everyone up and caught them up, and the whole house was chatting about it as well.

Angelina asked why sack Hagrid now? He wasn't like Trelawney, he was doing good this year.

Remus got a funny frown in place, wanting to protest that but hard to find the words.

Katie reminded about the recent Niffler problem, and Lee said in shame that had been him putting them through her window.

Sirius felt that feeling he'd lived for in his youth, the urge to laugh at such mischief, but it did not carry through into full bloom, not with Harry clearly so worried, not until he knew McGonagall was still going to be around to be exasperated at it.

Dean pointed out Hagrid would have been sacked, he was too close to Dumbledore.

Lavender was still nearly in tears for McGonagall, while Colin informed everyone they'd watched her be brought back inside the castle. Alicia said with confidence Madam Pomfrey would sort her out.

They finally felt a sigh of relief escape them, Harry's loudest of all as some of his worry tried to loosen him, but not enough. Remus and Lily sat back down uneasily as they tried not to picture such a thing happening on the grounds, but the look on Harry's face somehow warned them to keep on the edge, as he kept himself stiff at his father's side and locked in on Sirius, his heart thudding so loud they were sure they could all hear it in his still thumping adrenaline pulsing out.

The common room was up the rest of the night coming up with revenge for Umbridge. None were quite satisfying enough, though Ron's of feeding her to starving Blast-Ended Skrewts had its merits.

That one worked, Remus felt a burst of laughter escape him that died swiftly in the room, but no one begrudged him for trying.

Their final exam was History of Magic.

Harry made a keening noise louder than ever, and it was frightening. What worse thing was going to happen than their real current Headmistress being struck down like that?! James's hand tightened harder than ever upon Harry's shoulder, but he couldn't even look at him, he was solely locked on the key to this problem.

He loathed having to spend his morning going over years of Hermione's notes. He was exhausted, all he really wanted was for this one to be over, to go out onto the Quidditch pitch and have a go on Ron's broom.

"You more than deserve that, honestly I'm surprised I haven't heard of this long before now," Sirius looked up and around at Harry, forcing a smile he didn't really feel into place, and it set them all off greatly he couldn't be bothered to return it for a second. His eyes remained distant, lost somewhere none could see, but still his every attention was riveted on Sirius.

Sirius sighed heavily but decided to stop side stepping around this, Harry wasn't going to be soothed until something changed.

It took all of his concentration to flip his exam over and begin, and it took several moments for letters to appear into words.

Lily shook her head pitifully for this, but she supposed it was the best circumstances that could be offered. At least everyone failed this class.

It felt torturous, he flat out skipped an opinion question over wand legislation and the goblin riots.

"I don't even remember that ever being a topic," Remus shook his head too fast, but still hoping some normal flow of conversation would be of some help.

He tried his hand at the Statue of Secrecy breached in 1749 but knew he'd missed important parts like vampires coming in at some point.

"Now I know you're sleep deprived, it was hags, not vampires," James offered though he had no more clue than Harry, and still failed to get a response.

Finally Harry found one from the notes he'd gone over just this morning covering the International Confederation of Wizards and why Liechtenstein refused to join.

Lily hummed at the lucky circumstance, wishing as much as anyone this would skip already, that Harry would just get a moment of peace before he collapsed on himself like he was so clearly fixing to do.

He began with Pierre Bonaccord's contested appointment,

Remus gave a false yawn, glancing around for a pillow though really his eyes never stopped tracking Harry, looking for just a hint he was going to relax any second, realize the danger had passed at least for one second.

while all around Harry the distracting noise of quills were scratching on parchment like scurrying, burrowing rats.

Sirius gave a heavy shiver, he hated Harry seemed to use that description a lot.

He couldn't remember. He gazed at the back of Parvati's head, wishing he could use Legilimency and remember what he'd done, sure it had something to do with trolls.

Harry went cross eyed in pain, wishing his mind would crack open already and relieve this stress, why had his mind chosen now to bring that up!

He closed his eyes tight to picture it, finally the lines coming back to him of the circumstances involving mountain trolls, that had been it. He got another few lines in but still didn't feel it was long enough, Hermione had four pages on the topic.

"That's never helpful, she tries to remember too much," James muttered something he'd known about her since her first year hoping just for a moment to distract Harry which still didn't work.

He closed his eyes again, straining to put in some other details...but then his eyes didn't open back in the hall, but the long dark corridor. He eagerly ran down it once again, back through the dark circular room with many doors.

"Oh no," James groaned deeply, his hand tightening more than ever on Harry's shoulder, refusing to let go until he knew it was going to be okay. That was getting harder to manage though, as they all finally grasped this must be what had him so on edge, they were all back to that same icy exterior as well. The last time Harry had been so set off, was when Arthur was being attacked...

All the way until he was back in the large cathedral sized room, and now he was sprinting, knowing the thing he wanted most was in here. He turned down row ninety seven, and there at the end was a huddled figure, like a wounded animal on the ground.

Harry tried to recoil away, but James had no clue who he was trying to reach for, so he just pulled Harry back tighter to him. He wasn't going to let him go guilt tripping over this one, no matter who was in there guarding this mystery thing.

A voice issued from his own mouth, a high, cold voice empty of any human kindness,

Sirius finally flipped to the last page of this, his hand as slick upon the binding as it was white knuckled. 'Don't let it be Arthur again,' his mind pleaded, 'the man had suffered enough!'

Instructing for it to be taken down. When whatever it was on the floor didn't respond, Harry used the Crucio spell.

"Voldemort's, inside, the Ministry," Lily brokenly whispered, this being the first thing she could think of what to connect to. Her fear intensified, wondering how this had happened, there was no way the man could waltz in there and torture someone for this. It may not even be an Order member now, it was still the middle of Harry's afternoon!

She wanted more than anything to stop Sirius, to try and let Harry collect himself for a moment, but Sirius was fidgeting with agitation on the page and noticed nothing, like he wasn't even aware he was reading anymore, just wanting to finish this and know the latest victim already Harry was going to have to find out about in the worst way possible.

The man on the floor let out a scream of pain, attempted to stand but fell back, writhing.

Harry wasn't breathing, of that James was now positive. He hardly registered his own fear anymore, was hardly watching Sirius. He feared for the life of whomever this was, but he had eyes only for his son.

Voldemort hissed at the newly pained man and told him to fetch it as he could not, then his pain would end fast.

Sirius Black just laughed, and said Voldemort would have to kill him first.

James's hand fell from Harry's shoulder.

HPHPHPHP

* Favorite quote of the whole series! I'm still in awe I got this far! Let me know yours!

** I know not everyone's a McGonagall fan, but this right here is my favorite moment for her, the same reason I would have Crucio'd someone if they'd spat in her face. You can say what you will about her odd behaviour in first year, but the moments of her in this book are just pure and utter brilliance of her very character.

[sweetescapeartist]

WHY SAIYANS AREN'T THE GREATEST RACE 🙊

(But Saiyans have more potential than other races.)

So here's why I disagree with Saiyans being the greatest & strongest race. Many factors have to take place in order for Saiyans to get stronger.

POWER

The strongest that full-blood Saiyans could get with the best training is SS3 levels.

Maybe Saiyans could reach higher levels without god ki if we take GT into account, otherwise, SS3 appears to be the max. A Saiyan's max attainable power with the best training could be Vegito levels of power before they get too old & are unable to fight or they die of old age.

But keep in mind that Goku said not even fusion could defeat Beerus.

Goku had to do a ritual & train with an Angel just to attain god ki. (Other races may have something similar to the ritual. Other races could also train with Angels. Like Toppo.)

Most Saiyans weren't pure of heart or righteous. SSG could possibly be achieved by very few, but keep in mind that Saiyans don't have deep training & aren't spiritual as a culture. They would not know how to get as strong as Goku had learned.

TRAINING & SPIRITUALITY

Vegeta started training hard during the android saga. His reason for training was because he saw how beneficial training was for a low-class Saiyan like Goku, who became the legendary Super Saiyan before a royal Saiyan elite could.

Its important to note that Goku was raised as an Earthling, learned Earthling martial arts & he developed spiritual insight that Saiyan culture doesn't seem to have. Also Goku trained with 2 gods (Kami & King Kai) and acquired further power to rival Saiyan saga Vegeta. He then surpassed Vegeta in power & far surpassed him in skill because of his Earthling training.

And realistically it would be difficult for most Saiyans to even achieve the Super Saiyan transformation. They would solely rely on the Oozaru transformation. A select few elite warriors/royal Saiyans might get strong enough to achieve Super Saiyan. But from what we know about Saiyan training, it would be a very very long time before they could achieve Super Saiyan. Only the Super Saiyan transformation could even be as far as they could get.

Like I stated earlier, Vegeta was motivated to train after he saw how beneficial training was for Goku (who has Earth training & trained under 2 gods). If Vegeta never met Goku, Vegeta probably would never achieve Super Saiyan. On their own, Saiyans would most likely never see benefits of such training. They are a warrior race that see death-battles as the best training.

Goku who has martial arts training focused on self improvement, godly training, & spirit control training from the Yardrats understood how to train and conquer the Super Saiyan transformation. That's knowledge Saiyans dont have nor would their culture care about.

So lets say we give a few Saiyans the Super Saiyan transformation. I don't think Saiyans would share the knowledge of Super Saiyan with each other. Stronger ones would suppress the weaker ones until Saiyan society collapses or a civil war breaks out that would result in many casualties.

Goku saw the flaws in just buffing up the muscles of Super Saiyan. Vegeta who has a lack of deep training and Saiyan thinking, he did not see the flaws. He isn't trained the way Goku is. Being a martial artist & spiritual gave Goku a huge advantage over every other Saiyan. He was able to use his knowledge to push Gohan (a hybrid with Earthling principles) to reach Super Saiyan 2 even before a full blood Saiyan could.

Yes, Goku more than likely attained Super Saiyan 2 soon after he died. & more than likely, Vegeta attained it a few years after Cell was defeated. Goku was able to discover Super Saiyan 3 only because he was dead for 7 years & was able to train. His understanding of training and not having a physical body helped him achieve the new form.

No other full-blood Saiyan can achieve Super Saiyan 3 because of the training it takes & the toll it puts on the body. Goku barely even uses it in DBS for that reason (also because they are marketing SSG & SSB instead).

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT

Now if we go back to the point of attaining the Super Saiyan transformation, new information has told us that most Saiyans have a low amount of S-Cells; the cells needed in order to become a Super Saiyan.

Their way of life as being warriors who lived to fight all the time is why they could not build up S-Cells. S-Cells that are built up from a gently spirit (most Saiyans lack). Peaceful environments are necessary for this build up of cells. Saiyans naturally thrive for constant battle. The chances of Super Saiyan are even slimmer with S-Cells in mind.

UNIVERSE 6 SAIYANS

Universe 6 Saiyans are mostly good hearted & live much more peaceful lives than Universe 7 Saiyans. It would appear that the good Saiyans defeated the wicked Saiyans in Universe 6. So how come Cabba is somehow the first Super Saiyan? I guess Universe 6 Saiyans don't know how to train properly either.

And lets be honest, it was terrible writing how Cabba & Caulifla attained Super Saiyan. So you're telling me that not one Universe 6 Saiyan had never gotten angry over losing a close friend or family member while on the battlefield? Sure, whatever. Logically, since Cabba never saw Super Saiyan before, it can be said that Super Saiyan is either non-existent or only royal Universe 6 Saiyans have achieved it & keep it secret.

"But the tingly back thingy!"

If a tingly back was only necessary to attain Super Saiyan, then Goku, a master martial artist, should've taught that to Gohan so that Gohan wouldn't struggle so much during training to defeat Cell.

EDIT: Goku more than likely did teach Gohan the tingly back thing after Gohan became a SS. Mastered SS is not triggered by rage. The tingly back wkrks well if dont like this.

But rage is what Super Saiyan has always been activated from. We are still told that the transformations are emotional. Great anger/rage is how Super Saiyan is triggered

(DBS manga chapter 52 & information guides tell us that Super Saiyan is still triggered by rage.).

Caulifla not only achieved Super Saiyan within a days or few hours, but she achieved Super Saiyan 2 the next day! Gohan has the most potential out of all Saiyan because he is a hybrid with a good heart & had some of the best training to have. It DOES NOT make any narrative sense from all that we've learned & continue to learn about Super Saiyan transformations. And the way Caulifla got 2 transformation within 2 days belittles the efforts of Goku & Gohan for the sake of "Look! A female Super Saiyan!"

If Caulilfa can achieve Super Saiyan 2 after only having Super Saiyan for a day, why didn't Future Gohan easily tap into Super Saiyan 2 as well & defeat the androids? Such convoluted writing for Universe 6 Saiyans... 😑

Out of Universe 6's three Super Saiyans, only Kale's transformation seems reasonable because it is set up similar to DBZ Broly. Kale controlling her power within a few minutes in the anime was stupid tho... The manga handled Kake better because she never gained control of herself. But... she had enough sense not to kill opponents and drop them out of the arena... So did she have control or not? A berserker is out to kill, not drop you out of bounds so she isn't eliminated. 😓

Nevermind. Both handled Kale's Super Saiyan form wrong in different ways...

(I have a theory that Universe 6 Saiyans may actually be Saiyan/Earthling hybrids. Which is why its easier to get Super Saiyan and they don't have tails anymore. But that's a different discussion.)

BACK TO UNIVERSE 7 SAIYANS...

So about how strong a Saiyan could become on their own. I was being generous saying full-blood Saiyans could possibly get as strong as Vegito at most. That's more so something only Goku could attain. Saiyan culture & life, heart condition, lack of spiritual connection, & lack of good martial arts knowledge keeps them from growing. If they did train to get stronger then the most they can achieve would be Super Saiyan 2. The Super Saiyan God ritual would be attainable by some, but they could not absorb the power like Goku (thats because of his disciplined training) nor would Beerus allow Saiyans to keep causing havok. He planned to destroy them anyways.

And I'm sure that if one lone Saiyan achieved Super Saiyan on Planet Vegeta, Freeza would destroy the entire race out of fear. If Freeza somehow lost, Beerus would eventually destroy them.

LUCK & GENETICS

Goku, Vegeta, Broly, & Tarble were lucky and able to live different lives from the average Saiyan, be kinder beings or have their hearts changed (wouldn't happen for most Saiyans). Goku is the 1 in a trillion rare Saiyan that got the best training & he influenced surviving Saiyans to be more like Earthlings.

(But even after all the training Goku did in OG Dragon Ball, Raditz was much stronger than Goku. That means most low class Saiyans were around the same strength as Roshi & ChiChi.)

If we are generous and say some Saiyans could've achieved Super Saiyan 2 and would not try to kill each other, then they still lose to aliens like Piccolo, Krillin, Hit, Jiren, Ribrianne, Cell, or 16, 17, & 18.

Give Hit god ki and give him Angelic training to learn Ultra Instinct. He doesn't even have god ki & yet he can keep up with Goku who needed god ki to reach such power.

Broly would be the exception because he is a Legendary Super Saiyan & in a way a mutation too. But his power is uncontrollable. Imagine Broly snaped & tapped into that uncontrollable, monterous power on Planet Vegeta. All Saiyans there die within seconds.

Saiyans are very strong aliens. But other aliens are stronger or understand how to get stronger.

If anything, Saiyans have some of the best genetics & potential that give them a very high possible advantage. However, that is not a guarantee. But Earthlings & Namekians also have very high potential they can utilize along with knowledge far beyond Saiyans.

Being raised as an Earthling is the secret to Goku's power. Being half Earthling is the secret to Gohan's great power & potential. Its as if an Earthling's potential and training & a Saiyans potential and genetics are the perfect mix for a reason. Like they're branched from the same ancestor & are counterparts in a way. 🤔 (But that part's just another theory of mine.)

CONCLUSION

Without god ki, Goku loses to almost every opponent & enemy in DBS. Goku even says SSG is a power he couldn't achieve on his own. He was nearly at the peak of his power until he learned god ki.

And like I have stated, either ritual or Angelic training could be something any race could possibly utilize.

That's what I gathered from the info we've been given.

AFTERWORD

If you disagree that's fine. Disagreements aren't a bad thing. But if you say I'm wrong on something, show or cite evidence within the series (DBZ & DBS in particular) that says or shows otherwise.

All info shows us that most Saiyans would never be strong like Goku. It was luck & circumstance that Goku was not raised as a Saiyan but as an Earthling. Otherwise he would not have been unable to compete with Vegeta or Goku would've been destroyed on Planet Vegeta, killed on the battlefield, or quickly killed by someone stronger than him.

Please don't rebutt by saying things like "Well they're stonger than Earthlings." or "Their god forms are stronger than everyone else."

Those don't work.

If Earthlings trained like Goku (not like Saiyans because Saiyans don't train like that. Its an Earth thing💡) then some humans could surpass Super Saiyan 2. Evidence shows that Krillin & Tien & Yamcha have surpassed Namek saga Super Saiyan Goku. And they aren't addicted to training like Goku does. But when they do train, they make great leaps in power even without transformations.

God ki isn't something every Saiyan can learn (like Goku & Vegeta have) nor is god ki something exclusive to Saiyans. Look at Dende & Uub (DBS chapter 66). Goku being raised as an Earthling, trained as a martial artist, & training with lower gods is what aided his learning of god ki. Vegeta began to train diffetently after seeing a weaker Saiyan's results after training. Plus god ki had to be learned. I doubt Whis or Beerus would teach them if they were evil.

[lokidrabbles]

Cinnamon Brews (Loki x Reader)

Loki and reader continue to develop their bond inside a coffee shop.

A/N: Next part in my LokixReader Winter Series. As always, gender neutral reader!

Warnings: Some mentions of jealousy, supper fluff

“Thanks for coming with me again. Tony and his lab partners always get really cranky when they don’t have their coffees on hand.”

“Anything to get out of that fool’s sight. I don’t think I can tolerate another ‘reindeer’ joke without hurting someone.”

Both you and the indifferent Asgardian made your way towards the closest coffee shop around the corner. You urged Loki to make haste, wanting to avoid the NYC crowd that was more than likely beginning to pile up in these small shops. As temperatures continued to remain a steady low, the residents of NYC would stampede towards Starbucks, Coffee Grinds and other various tea shops, which would make your job especially difficult.

For one, you hated the crowds. There was always bound to be some idiot making a scene or being totally rude to everyone else. Everyone bumps and grinds against each other, triggering your irritability even further. And due to the high capacity, there would often be something wrong with your order. Definitely not your favorite thing of the season.

Luckily, Loki decided to tag along. You hoped at least his intimidating aura would scare off anyone who would want to try something with you. You’d give him that. Loki, when pushed over the limit, could be terrifying. You mentally knocked on wood, hoping you would never have to experience having Loki angered at you.

As you both turned the corner, you beamed at the sight of a practically empty coffee shop during the morning hours. You clapped your hands eagerly, catching the attention of Loki beside you.

“Thank the lord. I swear was about to turn right back if I saw a crowd.”

“Wouldn’t Stark be upset with you if you didn’t retrieve anything back?” Loki asked, humoring your words.

“Tony can be as upset as he wants but I wasn’t going to go through with that trouble. Lucky for him, we’ll practically be first in line. In fact, how bout we get a little something to drink for ourselves?”

You tugged at Loki’s arm, a scheming grin plastered on your face. Normally Loki would immediately refuse the offer, for a variety of reasons but mainly because he wasn’t a particular fan of coffee, and because he did his best to avoid any type of human interaction possible. Crowds were also something he wasn’t a big fan of, no matter the size.

However, stalling and keeping long for Stark to receive his so much desired coffee, now that was as good as a reason to follow you inside that shop.

You both entered together, immediately hit with a symphony of smells involving freshly brewed grounds, herbal teas, sweet things and spices. Only a handful of customers were present, either idly talking or typing away on keyboards. Just the right amount of people both of you could only tolerate.

You spotted a booth in the far back, just isolated enough for both you and Loki to be at peace, and pointed over towards it.

“Snag that seat for us while I get Tony’s stupid order. Anything you’d like in particular?”

“All of my past experiences with this coffee substance haven’t been particularly enjoyable.” He began, making a disgusted face. “I can only ponder how my brother can tolerate it so much.”

“I take you for a sweets guy anyways. I’ll get you something you’ll like, trust me.”

He shrugged, walking promptly to the booth you had instructed him to occupy. You made your way at the counter and pulled out your phone to recite Tony’s grumpy text to you earlier from the morning to the barista. As they took your card, you peeked over to look at Loki and sputtered at how out of place he appeared.

For one, his entirely black wardrobe was contrasting the bright holiday colors from the shop’s tacky decorations. He looked like a lost child, completely unable to blend with the background, eyes only darting back and forth. He looked adorable. You knew settings like this made him uneasy, and you reminded yourself to thank him once again for joining you on your little errand run. His adjustment to Earth continued to be a challenge for him but at least this was some progress in itself.

You turned your attention back to the barista, placing an additional order for a vanilla cappuccino. You figured starting easy with a sweet drink would be a good way to ease him into tasting it. If not, you could always drink it for yourself.

Once the barista handed over your receipt, you made your way back to the booth, only to encounter something unsightly. You felt your smile drop suddenly and your stomach began to churn uncomfortably.

Another person, a young woman, was there conversing with Loki. She stood next to him, smiling and tucking her hair behind her ears repeatedly. Her eyes fluttered constantly as well, as she held her phone towards him, probably asking for a number of sorts.

Loki, visibly uncomfortable at the ordeal, only looked at her with his best attempt to be polite. Again, much progress, but not really called for in this situation. His crooked smile only motivated you further to march over and find out exactly what was happening.

“You don’t have a number? What about your handle online? Any social media?” You heard her murmur at Loki who was dumbfounded at what she was getting at.

He chuckled nervously. “My apologies, I’m not really adept to that sort of stuff.”

“Anyways for us to get in touch then?”

Loki shook his head, and she sighed.

“I just, I took a look at you and I’ve never seen a man like you before. You’re super handsome. I’d really regret it if I didn’t get in touch with you.” She continued, coy and shy.

“Ah.” Loki said, not particularly impressed. “That’s very...kind of you.” The struggle was real. If it were not for you being there, Loki would have handled the situation much differently. He would have caused a large seen, and he would have felt awful at you dealing with the mess afterwards. For now, he gritted his teeth.

Fortunately you had arrived to his rescue, clearing your throat loud enough to catch both of their attentions.

“Can we help you with something sweetie?” You asked, shooting literal daggers at her. Loki would immediately notice your sudden change in attitude. You appeared much more dominant and even he could feel the jealousy steaming off of you.

“Oh!” She jumped, pulling her phone back away from Loki immediately. “Uh, were you two...?” She struggled with her words, knowing she had probably crossed a line.

“Yes, yes we are. Did you have any business with him?”

“N-no.”

Now this was very entertaining for Loki.

“Leave him be then, he doesn’t want you anywhere near him.” Your eyebrows furrowed and Loki’s interest grew even further.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you both were together.” She stammered, inching away from both of you. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Yeah you did. We don’t want to be bothered, thank you very much.” Your words cut deeply, and the young woman dejectedly made her way out of yours and Loki’s sight.

You sat down across from Loki, who only observed the interaction meticulously. He shot a smirk at you, catching eye of your ongoing vigilance of the woman, who had probably made her way out of the shop by now.

“I didn’t realize you would be such a possessive individual.” He began, crossing his arms. “You reduced that human girl to absolutely nothing with a mere few words and those intimidating eyes of yours.”

“I know those type of girls, they want to act all innocent just for guys to eat out of the palm of their hands.” You replied, still keeping at eye at the entrance. “I’m not allowing that shit to go down.”

He laughed at your justification. “To be fair, you were much kinder to her than what I probably would have done. Still, I believe you ruined her day.”

“Maybe. But, I don’t know.” You turned back to face him, only to rest your face upon your arm. “I got really upset when I saw her talking to you.”

“If you even consider that a conversation.”

“I was pretty mean to her. She probably had no idea.” You laughed. “I guess I am more possessive than I thought I was.”

“You do know you have nothing to fret about, if that’s the issue.” Loki replied, reaching his hand, palm up, towards you across the booth table. “My best way to describe it is, you’re the only human I can tolerate on this whole planet.”

He looked at you, eyes bright and a gentle smile across his face. A small smile formed across your own. Loki’s progress continued to show, and his efforts, while still awkward, were genuine. You reached out your hand to his, intertwining your fingers along with his. His hands were soft and warm, bringing you instant relief.

“You’re the only person I can tolerate in this whole city too.”

A few moments later, you both exited the shop, coffee on hand, and hands clasped tightly together.

[stressedspidergirlsfandomblog]

Day 2 Potion

Title: Potions

Ship: Geralt x Yennefer

Prompt Day 2

Warnings: Reaction to potions/poisoning. Pain, urge to vomit, etc.

Summary: “a pain so dreadful that only the greatest effort stopped him from screaming. His heart began to beat frantically and, compared to his usual pulse -four times slower than that of a normal person- it was an extremely unpleasant sensation. Everything went black, the world spun around, blurred, and dissolved.” – “drinking the elixir had never caused the effects it had that night. For an hour after drinking it he had fought cramps and extremely powerful vomiting reflexes, aware he couldn’t let himself be sick… he fell wearily into a deep sleep.” -Andrzej Sapkowski, Season of Storms

Word Count: 1506

Read on Ao3

He threw up. Violently. The acid seared his nose, making him choke. The smell burned alone was enough to make his eyes tear, and he retched helplessly trying to clear his nasal passages. When he could breathe, he wasn’t sure he wanted to. Geralt could smell piss and wasn’t sure if he hoped it was his or not. Considering the alternatives.

He had survived worse before, he knew he had. When he had lost his swords. His throat felt raw and he heaved again, knowing how pointless it was to do so. Nothing was going to make the poison come up. It had been injected through a vein in his arm, it never touched his stomach. The Golden Oriole he’d taken to counteract it, had, and was now going to do him absolutely no good.

His body shook so hard he thought he might crack his teeth, and nothing he did seemed to ease the pain or his body’s need to empty his stomach. Snot clogged his nose and he choked and spat before his body convulsed again. Practically blind with pain, Geralt crawled across broken glass to the window and looked out. The drop wouldn’t kill him. Staying in this room to be found in this condition surely would. So he did what any sane person would do, and heaved himself out a window.

Something cracked inside of him, and he laid there for a few moments, blackness circling around him as stars and sparks shot through it, keeping it at bay. He whistled once, pursing his lips, then retched again, helpless. He didn’t have more potion in his belt, there was nothing that would help him. Curling into a ball he did his best to stay conscious until the sound of hooves roused him. Terror swamped him until he felt the muzzle of his horse gently lipping at his hair and clothes, whickering softly. Roach. He was saved. It took quite a bit of patience on Roach’s part as she kneeled down and did her best to encourage him to crawl onto her back. His hands were bloodied from the glass, and they hurt abominably, so much so he wondered if he had crippled himself in his desperate attempt to escape the lord’s torture room.

If he was being honest, he had no idea how he got there. He remembered a contract, a portal, and then pain. So much pain. New poisons to try. Nothing had killed him, but then finally something had happened. His memory won’t fill in the details and it’s all he can do to hold onto Roach and not fall off while she canters off before breaking into a gallop. The bouncing hurts and makes his muscles scream in pain and he knew he was hitting her saddle wrong and couldn’t imagine the pain in her back and that was the last thought he had before the darkness claimed him.

Water dripped into a bucket as a cloth is wrung out, and he turned to the sound. When he felt goosebumps break out across his skin, he realized he was naked. Concerned at this change, he wondered briefly what might be tested on him next. Tensing, he prepared to open his eyes and attack.

Cool hands touched is forehead, and he relaxed. He would know those hands anywhere. “Yennefer,” he slurred, then frowned. What was wrong with him?

“I’m here. Try not to move. Or speak. Not yet.”

He knew that arguing with Yennefer was often pointless, but also that she could read minds. Hopeful she might be listening in, he wanted her to tell him what was going on.

“I suppose you won’t settle until you know. Of course not, then you wouldn’t be you.”

Gentle hands ran over his chest and stomach and he flinched in pain.

“I don’t know everything that happened. You’re lucky we have mutual friends. One of them notified me you had been hurt. Gone on a contract and disappeared. I set about looking for you, more out of curiosity than concern. A mutated beast won’t kill you, you’re too good at your job. Then I heard of some lord who wanted his sorcerer to develop the world’s best poison and I started to worry.

“I wasn’t expecting Roach to bring you to me. I’m not sure she meant to, either. I hadn’t planned to be in that town as long as I was. I got delayed.”

The soft splashing of water resumed and he realized she was wringing out a cloth. Then he felt it against his forehead and temples and near whimpered in relief. His head ached. All of him ached. The cool fabric was a blessing and when his jaw relaxed, he hadn’t even realized he’d clenched it before.

“You were unconscious, looked like you’d taken some of the potions you take before a contract. I’m not sure what was done to you. I thought about taking some of your blood to find out, but the idea of hurting you worse upset me deeply. You cut through some tendons in your fingers. Or someone else did, I don’t know. I’ve repaired them, but you mustn’t use your hands just yet.”

The cloth was moved down his neck, back up behind his ears, then along his collarbones and chest before it was returned to the bucket and wrung out again. She ran it over his arms and under them, and he was glad for a moment he wasn’t ticklish. The water dripping might have made him twitch and injure himself further.

“You broke two bones in your leg, snapped your wrist, and then somehow also cracked your skull.” The irritation and fear in her voice blended together and all he heard was anger. “You could have died. I saw enough in your dreams that I know you threw yourself out the window. And the worst part is you thought the jump wasn’t so far. It was near three stories. Even with your witcher’s mutations you’re lucky to have lived. It’s a good thing you hit legs first, then fell on your arms. A small miracle you broke as few bones as you did. Lucky Roach was able to get you onto her back at all. I know you didn’t do it. Clever girl probably did most of the work on her own.”

That tracked with what he remembered. She had lipped at his shirt, bit him, he thinks, and shoved him as best she could with her head after she’d knelt down. He had dragged himself into the saddle and slipped off twice when she tried to stand before he finally stayed in. His backside and groin ache and he knows he rode poorly. Hopefully Roach was less sore.

“She’s fine. I looked her over, she’s eating the finest mix of grains and grasses and she’s enjoying quite the beautiful stable. Dry, mucked out twice a day, all of that. Just like you deserve the pounding your balls took, doing something that stupid.” More water dripping, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You know full well I’d miss them just as much as you would.”

The cloth swept across his belly and he hissed in pain, the cloth froze.

“I don’t see bruising, Geralt. Is it truly the skin that hurts?” Gentle fingers probe his abdomen, palpating gently. Tears worked their way past his eyelids to run over his temples. “I’ll come back to this,” her voice was softer, kinder.

Her touch moved across his body and down his legs, and he found himself trembling. The splash of the cloth hitting water startled him, and he bit back a whimper when the sharp movement made him jostle half healed bones. Jars were corked and uncorked, and the sharp scent of various herbs stung his nose. Geralt could barely feel flakes of them touch his skin, but he knew from the sound alone Yennefer was lightly crumbling some over his stomach.

“I’ll get you some water to drink in a moment. Ease your throat. Is there a reason you haven’t opened your eyes?”

He considered this and found he couldn’t. At least not yet. They fluttered when he tried but they were too heavy for him to lift. His whole body was heavy and painful. It only moved of its own will when the pain increased and it tried to dance away. The words she spoke in Elder danced past him and he couldn’t grasp them. Fire flashed across his belly and he would have screamed but it was over before he could. His gut cramped again briefly and he was fairly sure if his bladder hadn’t been empty he would have pissed himself.

“I’m sorry Geralt, I honestly had no idea it would hurt that badly.” Cool hands ran over his abdomen and to both their relief it didn’t hurt him this time. “Rest, darling, just rest. I’ll take care of you.”

He believed her. Any time he’d been badly hurt, she had helped him. If she had known about it. He slept.

@geraltwhumpweek

[creamypudding]

Combo story sneak peek

I sort of finished the Clack/AkuRoku combo story I started in 2017, waylaid for The Two Penguins, and picked back up this year to complete it for a Big Bang, which died before it ever took off. I say sort of finished because I haven’t written the very last chapter yet, which is an epilogue set several years after the end, and which I am not very invested in writing at the moment (if at all). I haven't read through the entirety of this story yet. It’s still in first draft. I’m going to put this to bed for now and get going on some other projects I’ve yet to start/complete. The break will let me come back to it with fresh eyes and opinions and I hope a feeling of wanting to refine it. 

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I don’t feel very satisfied finishing this story. Well... ok, thinking about it, I think I do know why I feel this way. In part, it’s because this story isn’t satisfying. It’s not got a happy end. But I suspect the main reason is that I don’t feel like the emotion I wanted to transpose from my own experience into this story is adequately portrayed. At least that’s how I feel not having read the whole thing in one go, nor even the last chapter in one go. Maybe I need to be kinder on myself. Maybe the story isn’t even so bad. And if the story does lack the emotional punch like I suspect, it’s probably something I can fix in the subsequent drafts. Anyway, for anyone interested, you can have a sneak peek at the first chapter. May it pique interest. If anyone wants to be a pre-reader for me please get in touch with me. I would appreciate at least one person to read through this and give me feedback on the story, pacing, character development, and relationships. Title: Fleeting Moments (working title) Chapter: 1/(possibly)7 Fandom: FFVII/Kingdom Hearts - Modern AU Pairing: Cloud/Zack and Axel/Roxas Rated: Mature (drug use -smoking and drinking-) Word Count: 8,170 Summary: Cloud and Roxas meet Zack and Axel in a laundry, of all places.

CHAPTER 1 -

The mechanical whir and swish of the washing machines was almost hypnotic, and drowned out the dripping of a leaky faucet somewhere within the laundry room. Cloud, with his back pressed to the wall, sat on the wooden bench lining the side closest to the door.

The laundry was wholly unremarkable. It smelt of washing detergent and liquid softeners. Garish lights above only served to wash out the drab, peeling paint of the walls even further. The cold, gray concrete floor had lost all its polished sheen, and the change and vending machines had all seen better days.

Yet this was one of Cloud’s favorite spots. Winter was dismal up in the mountains, with long hallways and wide open expanses lying between the laundry and his temporary residential housing. So Cloud chose to sit, cocooned in the underground warmth of this room, while he waited for his clothes to be washed so he could move them into the dryer.

He got a lot of reading done down here, which was a definite benefit. Most sane people chose to go do other things than hang in the laundry while their things got clean. So it was mostly quiet and empty in the laundry, and for Cloud this spelt sanctuary from society and his own rather busy life.

People came and went, and Cloud took no notice. He only looked up whenever a machine beeped, checking if it was his one announcing the completion of its cycle. It was never his, so he continued on with his book, an auto-biography. He found himself deeply engrossed in it when eventually a beeping did faintly register. He looked up again, like so many times before, searching out his machine. From where he sat he could make out the LCD display. There were still ten minutes left.

“Hey. Whatcha reading?”

Cloud jumped with a start and then frowned. Eyes darted to see where the question had come from. He found the source in seconds. A man stood by one of the machines facing the opposite wall. He was hauling clothes out of the toploader but looking directly at Cloud. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you,” came the apology, along with a smile, which lit up the man’s whole face. 

Cloud couldn’t fathom why he was being spoken to. “It’s fine. And, um… it’s a auto-biography of Ferdinand Papora.” Cloud flashed the front cover up, so the man could see it.

“Who’s that?”

“A racing car driver.”

“Pretty famous?”

“Obviously not famous enough if you’ve never heard of him.”

“Well he might be. I’m completely oblivious to that sort of thing. You like racing?”

“Not particularly.”

A confused look was followed up with the question, “So what’s with the book then?”

Cloud inspected the paperback cover before he spoke. “I just like to read biographies. Doesn’t really matter whose it is. And the library here has tons of different ones.” The man continued smiling. “That’s a cool way of expanding your horizons. I might take inspiration from you, if that’s all right.”

Cloud shrugged. “Go ahead. It’s not like I’ve got copyright over reading books on subjects I’ve no interest in.”

“Well, you must have some interest, right? I’ve been here for five minutes, trying to ask you a question but you were totally engrossed in that book.”

He felt slightly taken aback and said, “Oh. Sorry.”

“No worries. So the book’s a real page turner?” The man hoisted up a collapsible laundry basket and moved toward the dryer section.

“Mmm. It has its moments.”

“Think you’ll finish it?”

“Of course. I see things through to the bitter end.”

The man laughed. “That sounds dire. You a perfectionist?”

Cloud hummed thoughtfully. “Nah, I’m just a completionist.” “I stand corrected.” The man dumped his load of laundry into the dryer, inserted coins and pushed some buttons. “So this Ferdinand—ah…”

“Papora,” Cloud assisted.

“Yeah, him. What are some of his more notable moments?”

“Well,” Cloud inspected the book, to help jog his memory, “He survived three near-fatal crashes. Went through some pretty hefty rehab in hospital, and continues driving even to this day, despite the peg-leg.”

“Woah, seriously?”

“No. I made up the peg-leg, but the rest’s true.”

The man laughed loudly. It shook into Cloud a little. “What a shame. That would have made even me read the book.”

“It’s still a worthwhile read. The guy’s pretty… driven.”

Another laugh and a great big smile lifted and turned the other man’s rather tanned complexion a little darker. “Nice one.”

Cloud cracked a smile. He wasn’t usually this chatty, particularly with a stranger but… well he put it down to being in a relatively good mood.

The man closed the lid of the machine and leaned against it, looking across the room at Cloud. “I’m Zack, by the way.”

“Cloud,” he responded.

With raised eyebrows Zack said, “Nice name.”

Cloud gave a small sigh. His mood was about to go south. “Here we go,” he muttered.

The raven-haired man tilted his head to the side. “Go where?” 

“The weather related puns. Go on. I’ve heard them all.” He resigned himself to the inevitable. Cloud opened his book again to give a clear indication that he was done communicating.

“Really? That thought didn’t even cross my mind.”

Cloud laid eyes on him without lifting his head. “What was with that look, then?”

“What look?”

Cloud imitated what he had just witnessed.

Zack shrugged and pushed off the machine, walking toward Cloud. “It’s just how my face works. I think Cloud’s a cool name. They’re my favorite things about the sky, you know.” He came to a standstill a few steps away from Cloud.

Cloud skeptically scanned the man before him, dressed in dark jeans and a dark wool-knit turtleneck sweater. This close the man looked rather tall. It wasn’t even the thick heeled boots. He was probably really tall even without those on. Cloud wondered if he should he believe him. The man looked sincere enough; that soft smile plastered on the rather handsome face—broad cheeks, pointed jaw and nose—spoke of gentle earnestness. But with distrust in his voice Cloud questioned him, “Even more than stars?” Because everyone loved stars. It was a fact of life.

“Yeah. Even more than the stars and moon. Give me fluffy altocumulus or wispy cirrus clouds in a wide blue sky any day of the week. Even these nimbostratus clouds around here, bringing all the snow, are nice. But I do prefer the other ones. If I had to choose.” Zack tapped at lips, thoughtfully.

That response took Cloud by surprise. “Well, I’m impressed. Look at you, totally nerding out about clouds. You a meteorologist or something?”

“Nup. Just an amateur cloud fancier,” Zack grinned.

Cloud’s heart thumped a bit at that wording. He paid it no mind and returned a small smile of his own. Both men stayed like that for way too many moments. Cloud grew uncomfortable, desperately searching for something to say. He didn’t like people just looking at him. “What did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, right,” Zack slapped the side of his head. “I wanted to know if you’d have a drink with me this Saturday. I’ll be at the Clay Bar. Eight til late,” Zack positively beamed.

Cloud blinked, not comprehending. “What?”

“I mean, if you’re into it. If not then don’t worry.” The man’s toothy smile simmered down.

Had he heard right? Was he being asked out? By someone he just met? No way. Cloud opened his mouth to say… he knew not what.

“Cloud!” His name rang out several times, down the hallway, getting louder and louder by the second. 

Both men turned their heads to look at the source of the tumult. 

Roxas flew through the open doorway, “Cloud! Guess what! Sophia Tiller will be giving a symposium right here in the center!” By the time Roxas had finished that sentence he had slid with great force along the bench and was now in Cloud’s face, with hands resting on Cloud’s thighs.

“She is?”

“Yeah,” Roxas nodded eagerly.

Disbelief melted and excitement bubbled inside of Cloud. “We gotta get tickets.”

“Already sorted,” Roxas grinned.

“Nice one.” Cloud put his closed fist up and Roxas completed the gesture by fist bumping him.

The sound of a slight cough drew both men’s faces up and over.

Roxas frozen. The bubbling warm excitement gave way to overwhelming and sheer dread. Who was this guy? How long had he been there for? Had Roxas just embarrassed himself completely before a stranger? He looked to Cloud for a minute second.

Cloud saw the tension which seized Roxas. He gave him a quirked lip and a slight eyebrow raise to encourage him and let him know it was alright. That seemed to snap Roxas out of the panic. 

“Oh. Hey! Uh—” Roxas glanced between Cloud and the stranger. Could he regain some dignity? Could he just… avoid? “Did I… interrupt something?”

“Ah… this is Zack. Zack, this is Roxas. We were just…”

“I was just leaving. But it’s nice to meet you, Roxas,” Zack said with a big smile.

Cloud was relieved, because he didn’t know how he would have finished that sentence had he been left to his own devices.

“Ah,” Roxas let out, half in relief, half in reply.

The room was quiet other than the sound of the clunk-clunk-clunk of the dryer going around. The men all looked between each other. The whole situation felt unnaturally awkward.

A loud beeping startled everyone. Cloud saw that his load was finally done, so he got up and made his way over to the machine, thankful that it alleviated the weird tension. He walked right past Zack. It was unavoidable and made Cloud full aware of the man’s height. He barely came up to his shoulders, and in no way was he short, not like Roxas. 

“Do you need some help?” Zack asked as Cloud squatted down and pulled open the front loader door

“No, it’s what I’ve got Roxas for,” he said without looking up. “Roxas,” he commanded.

Roxas snapped out of his panicked thoughts which circled around telling him how he had embarrassed himself and how he was to blame for the absolutely stifling awkwardness which was in the room. “Coming,” he muttered and slid off the bench and shuffled over to Cloud, with his head bowed so as not to be seen by Zack. But Roxas still felt the towering presence. He reached Cloud, held out his arms and received the dumping of wet clothes. He then scurried over to the dryers, relieved to have his back to the source of his embarrassment.

Cloud stood up and followed Roxas with his eyes, but was brought back to himself as warmth radiated next to him. He turned and looked up at Zack out of the corner of his eye.

“Cute kid. He yours?” Zack nodded toward Roxas.

Cloud glowered. Roxas froze, somehow even more embarrassed. Kid? Roxas looked down at himself, dressed in his big blue Cookie Monster hoodie. He winced. 

“We’re brothers," Cloud almost growled.

“Oh.” Zack laughed and rubbed at his neck, “Shit, sorry for assuming. That’s embarrassing. Sorry. My mistake.”

Exasperated, Cloud said, “Can you just leave?”

“Oh.” The way Zack’s face fell felt a little comical to Cloud. “Yeah, sure. But.. before I do… are we… okay?” He looked at Cloud with concern, and then throwing his head in the direction of Roxas said, “Hey, Roxas, man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that.”

Roxas was focusing all his energy on putting each individual item of clothing into the dryer separately. He waves with one hand, not turning to look at the other man, and said, “All good.” His face was burning up. He wanted to strip off his hoodie and dump it in the trash.

Cloud looked over at his brother; the tension in his shoulder, his slow movements. He could feel Roxas’ discomfort and embarrassment. Why was Zack still here? Maybe Cloud wasn’t being tough enough? He needed the other man gone. Cloud pressed his lips together, leaned against the washing machine with his arms folded across his chest and gave the other man a pointed staredown.

Zack took a step back as if Cloud’s stance had put up a physical barrier. “Uh-oh. I’ll leave, no worries. Bye, Roxas,” he said loudly, and then more quietly, “See ya around, Cloud, yeah? I hope we’re okay. Clay Bar. Eight to late on Saturdays.” Zack gave Cloud a little smile and a casual two-fingered salute and hurriedly left the laundry. His hasty footfalls echoed and faded down the hall.

Cloud let out a deep breath, peeled his eyes off the doorway and onto Roxas who turned around to face Cloud across the way. His cheeks were a deep, splotchy crimson. Cloud felt terrible for him.

The two brothers stared at each other for a few beats and then the smiles grew and the laughter started out of both of them.

“You really let him have it with your Cloud-stare-of-death,” Roxas giggled madly, feeling so good to have the anxiousness replaced by a different sensation.

"Well, he was making everything really uncomfortable."

Roxas stopped laughing. "I think that was just me."

"It wasn't."

"Oh." Roxas left it alone. They argued way too much about what was and wasn't his fault. Roxas supposed life would be easier if he could believe Cloud, but they were brothers, so Cloud would always say stuff to make him feel better. "Was that a friend of yours?" he deflected.

Cloud returned to the bench to collect his discarded book. “No. He’s just a random guy I literally only met about ten minutes ago.”

Roxas chuckled. “That’s so unlike you; making random friends in the laundry.”

“We’re not friends.”

“But he said something about going to the bar?”

Cloud didn’t want to think about it. “How’re you feeling?”

“Oh… yeah… okay, I guess? Now anyway. Do you think I dress like a little kid?” He pulled at his sweater, looking down at Cookies big smiley face.

“You shouldn’t worry about it. There’s nothing wrong with liking Cookie Monster.” “Yeah, but I’m twenty and a guy. I had to go to the women’s section to find all the cute stuff.” 

“Stop doubting yourself.” “You know I can’t do that. I wish it was easier.” Cloud sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. Is it getting better at all?”

“Little by little, I guess?” he shrugged.

Cloud smiled at his brother. “I definitely see the improvements you've made since you've been pushing yourself.”

The smile that should be on Roxas’ face never came. He just looked down at his sweater some more and frowned harder. “I still feel like I fall apart when you're not around.”

“Keep practicing. Worst case scenario; pretend I’m behind you, giving you this look—” Cloud gave him a dead serious and slightly angry scowl.

Roxas broke into a smile then and laughed. “Got it. The disappointed-dad glare. You do it so well.”

“I got it enough times to have mastered it.” Cloud rolled his eyes.

“He only looks at you like that because he loves you the most and expects the most from you.”

“Why couldn't you have been the older brother? It's all your fault,” Cloud threw out with a dismal and exaggerated sigh, ribbing Roxas.

Roxas stuck his tongue out as way of reply. “Hey, but that guy; Zack.”

Cloud sat down, trying to cast his mind back on that weird encounter. “What about him?”

“I think he’s got the hots for you.”

Cloud gave a startled cough. “Huh?”

“He was totally checking you out when you got the laundry out.”

“No.” “He did. I was stressing out but I still noticed. He totally was.”

Cloud groaned. “How about you get the dryer started or our clothes’ll never dry.”

“Oh, shit, yeah.” Roxas remembered what he came down here for. He turned back to the forgotten machine and inserted the coins.

Having Roxas’ eyes off him gave Cloud some reprieve to acknowledge what he was trying to deny himself. “You really think so?—about Zack?” he asked tentatively.

“Yup.” Roxas smacked the machine and felt it jolt to life with a loud rumble. He turned back around and walked over to where Cloud was sitting.

“Damn.” Cloud wrinkled his nose and looked at the floor. “What’s up?” Roxas returned to Cloud’s side giving him an inquisitive look.

“If you’re right then he also totally asked me out on a date before you came in.”

Roxas’ eyes and mouth sprang open. “Ooooo,” Roxas sing-songed and giggled. He snappily sat down next to Cloud and nudged his side with his elbow. “So I did ruin the mood, huh.”

“There was no mood to ruin,” Cloud denied and stood up. He hadn’t even been sure of what it had been before Roxas had bombarded him with his observations.

“You gonna take him up on the offer?”

Cloud pressed his lips together, thinking about it

“Hmm? Well?” Roxas grinned up at his always too serious brother.

Cloud grimaced and turned away from Roxas a little. He wasn't used to people asking him out, preferring to keep to himself as much as possible. But… “He is sort of… attractive,” he understated with a mutter. 

“Only sort of?” The tease was unmistakable.

Sexy chiseled jaw, tight jeans, cool leather jacket, and did he already think of those tight jeans? He had smelt really nice too as he had passed him. Cloud merely grunted and then conceded with a small, “Maybe.”

Roxas sniggered and wore a satisfied smirk. “Attaboy.”

“Shut up. When’s this Sophia Tiller thing happening?”

“Oh right. Two weeks from now. I left the flyer with all the info on the kitchen counter.”

“Okay. I’ll go email it out to both our groups and then I really need to get ready for work. Don’t forget to take the clothes out.” “No worries. I’m on it, and thanks!” Roxas waved as Cloud took his leave of the laundry room. --------------

Roxas sat in the laundry, fiddling around on his phone to pass the time. He played some mindless games, trawled through online message boards, and checked the clothes, separating and pulling out the items which were drier than the others and putting them in a plastic bag he had pulled out from his pocket.

Dark hair and a somewhat familiar face popped through the doorway at some point, attracting Roxas’ attention.

“Hey, Roxas. Is it okay if I come in? I need to get my stuff out of the dryer.”

Roxas felt his stomach drop and butterflies kicked up a storm. His heart jolted into an uneasy pace. He pulled his arms around himself, trying to hide his sweater. Heat prickled his chest and cheeks. “You don’t have to ask me. It’s a public space,” he got out, trying to shut off his thoughts.

“I just thought… if I make you uncomfortable I can always leave and come back later.” 

That offer took Roxas aback. “N-no, you’re fine to come in.” 

“Oh, cool.” Zack grinned and he strode into the warm room. “I didn't mean any offence.”

Roxas just nodded, hoping Zack would leave him alone, and he pulled his phone out again, hunching in on himself with his feet up on the bench, knees up and slouching against the corner wall. But apparently Zack took Roxas’ silence as something entirely different— 

“I'm sorry, really. I just wanted to figure out who you were to Cloud. I didn't wanna overstay my welcome if you were… well, you know.”

Roxas didn't, but figured he had to make conversation if he was ever going to have Zack believe that he wasn't angry at him. He tried to picture Cloud’s disappointed-dad face and told himself it was fine because he had already made a fool of himself once. He took a deep breath and then, “It’s all good. All fine. Really. A lot of people assume I'm much younger than I am.” And no wonder with the way that he looked and often times acted. If he wasn’t running away from social situations he ended up saying dumb shit which made him look like a complete imbecile.

Zack advanced further towards Roxas’ position. “Well, I’m sorry anyway.”

“You don't have to keep saying that. You're not in Cloud’s bad books or anything,” he muttered, wondering—hoping—that this wasn't really about himself.

“Well, he does love reading,” Zack chuckled to himself. “Ah… hey, Roxas,” Zack sat down and slid across the bench toward him. Roxas pulled his knees closer to himself. “You think I'm in with a chance? With your brother, I mean.”

The tight coil of panic eased a little bit and he felt breathing to be a little easier. It really was all about Cloud. Thank god! Zack clearly didn’t care about him at all. Such a relief! He shrugged by way of reply. Cloud would definitely hurt him if he told Zack what they had discussed earlier.

“Got any tips for me?”

Roxas shook his head. He wanted to be left alone, so he looked back down at his phone.

The hint seemed to finally be received. Zack sighed and got up. “It wasn't supposed to be an interrogation. Just came to get my stuff.” He walked to a dryer and started pulling clothes out.

Roxas would have felt relieved… if he didn’t feel so bad. He wished for Cloud to be around to make him feel more at ease. But he wasn’t, and Roxas was stuck in his own anxiety-riddled skin. He stared blankly at his phone, tapping the screen to keep it from going into sleep, while all his senses were trained on Zack, without directly looking at him.

He worried and wondered what Zack thought of him to an unreasonable extent. Why should it matter to him? He didn’t even know Zack. But no amount of reasoning ever seemed to do him any good. He wanted to leave a good impression though. He didn’t want Zack to hate him, especially if he would be around for a while. The fact that Cloud had apparently engaged Zack enough for them to have talked for a bit was significant. Unless it was for business, or a close friend or family member, Cloud didn’t give people so much as the time of day. For some weird reason this felt weighty, in his chest and limbs, and especially in his head.

Lid slammed. Roxas tore his unfocused gaze away from his phone and up toward Zack, who walked carrying his load of washing in a cloth bag. His unhurried but determined footsteps echoes around the quiet space. “Later, Roxas.” He gave a wave and a congenial smile.

Roxas was totally leaving a terrible impression right now. He could feel it. “Peanut butter,” he burst out as Zack vanished through the doorway.

Footsteps ceased and seconds later Zack leaned backward through the doorway and looked at Roxas, confused. “Huh?”

“Cloud. He loves peanut butter. Smooth. Not crunchy.”

Gray-blue eyes lit up and Zack’s smile stretched wide across his face. “Thanks, man!” and with that Zack was gone, his steps fading off into the distance of the long concrete hallway beyond.

Roxas was left alone once more and he breathed out his nerves. He had managed to not make a fool of himself this time. But what if Cloud got angry with him? Should he really have given the man any information about anything pertaining to his own flesh and blood? Had he become some sort of an accomplice? Roxas tried to take a deep, calming breath. And another. And another. “Fuck!” He got up, poked his head out past the doorway to see if anyone was around. The coast was clear. He went toward the back of the laundry, around a corner where the wash basins for handwashing were situated. He went to the very back corner, squeezing in between the end of the washbasin and the corner wall to where a ventilation grate sat recessed in the wall. He loosened the screws which held the vent grate in place. A bit of jiggling leant itself to the metal coming out of its wall fitting. It revealed a hollow and dark cavity, leading out of the building. Roxas reached into the void, expertly finding what he had put there himself; a ziplock bag with a stage of cigarettes and a lighter inside. He looked at the bag and swore. He only had one left. 

Without thinking about it he took the lone smoke and lighter out and shoved the empty bag back in the hole. He’d have to bum a few smokes off someone when he got another chance. That thought made him feel even more stressed out. 

His hands jittered a little but he got himself lit up after two tries. He took a deep dragging suck of the heavy smoke. It delightfully hit that spot right at the top of his throat and instantly soothed his nerves. He took a few more longer drags, exhaling into the vent and then stubbed out the cigarette and returned it into the bag. He wasn’t a heavy smoker. It was just a vice to help soothe his nerves. If he could save this cigarette he’d be spared the anxiety of having to ask strangers for a new one. 

“Blowing-fucking-hole-of-motherfucking-shit!”

Roxas jumped with fright and snapped his attention to the main part of the laundry. He quickly worked at securing the vent and quietly walked over to the corner, to peek around and see what was going on.

He saw the source of the profanity and it certainly wasn't hard to spot; a lanky redhead, sporting hands on hips, staring at the detergent vending machine which was mounted on the wall near the first row of washing machines.

Roxas slunk back around his corner and took deep breaths. The few puffs he had of the nicotine still calmed him. He could stay hidden here. He could go over to the dryer and check it to make himself look busy. There was no need to be shy or nervous.

“Why’re there so many Goddamn brands to choose from in this metallic piss pot?” A loud metallic thump sounded through the space. 

Roxas felt his heart sink. He probably should help. No one else was around after all and the longer he lingered in indecisiveness the worse his embarrassment would be if the guy realized he had been in here all along. Roxas pictured Cloud’s stern stare. He told himself to play it cool, took a deep breath, clenched his trembling fists, and stepped out of his hiding nook, saying, “You need a hand with anything?”

The man jumped and yelped. He whirled around, squeaking slightly, “Oh geez. Where’d you come from?”

Roxas stared at piercing green eyes, high cheekbones and pointed chin. An overwhelming sense of inadequacy rushed through him. This stranger was completely handsome. Roxas shrunk in on himself, crossing his arms in front of himself, trying to hide Cookie Monster. He screamed at himself for still wearing the sweater. 

“Eh…” the man said.

Roxas blinked rapidly. Shit. What had been the question? “My mom and dad?” 

The redhead’s eyebrow rose as did the corner of his mouth.

Roxas screamed internally at his stupidity. He was aiming for cool - not complete dork. “I-I mean I’ve just been here,” he gave a vague shrug towards the dryers. Had he saved it? “Need help?” he tried to deflect walking closer and calling himself names.

The amusement the other man wore melted away, “Yes! I don’t normally do laundry. I have no idea which of these to use.” He pointed at the dispenser and stuck his hands deep into his jean pockets.

Roxas' heart raced uncomfortably, his palms sweat, but he could handle the topic of laundry. He’d just focus on that instead of vivid green eyes. He walked over with a bit of confidence as he fixed his gaze onto the vending machine. He tried to ignore the fact that the redhead was very tall. He hugged himself tighter, really wishing he had worn something cool today, instead of childish. “Well,” he began, “most of these are all the same. You can have liquid or powder—not that it really matters. The only thing you might need to watch out for is if you’ve got sensitive skin. Then you’d want this one or this one,” Roxas pointed and looked ever so briefly at the other man. “And don't even worry about all these at the bottom. No one needs fabric softener in their lives.”

“But what if I hate scratchy fabric on my delicate skin?”

Roxas looked up and studied the man next to him then, not sure if he was being messed with or if the guy was sincerely concerned. But he couldn’t tell because he got too distracted by porcelain skin which accentuated and drew out the color of the green eyes and the red hair and Roxas had never seen someone like this before, and he hung out with artists all the time, but still nothing compared to that color palette and what was he looking at the man for again?

The mesmerizing green eyes flicked onto Roxas. Thin lips quirked up into a smile.

Roxas quickly looked away and pulled his stupid mouth shut. How long had he been slack-jawed for? Washing Powders! “Ah—” he cleared his throat and tried again, “Then maybe do buy the softener?” 

“Nah. Think I'll manage without it.” 

Whether on purpose or by accident the man's arm brushed Roxas'. He hardly heard the next part because he was so focused on inconspicuously shifting away from the redhead. 

“I’m pretty easy. I could wash my clothes in dish soap and I’d be fine. Why don’t we use dish soap for clothes?”

Roxas shrugged, trying to catch his breath and tell his head to shut up and to not say anything more embarrassing. “Wouldn’t want your clothes squeaky and sparkling, right?” An internal groan followed. He couldn’t pull off cool in a million years. Dork it was always destined to be.

A small laugh came out of the other man and then he said, “Right.”

Roxas’ heart pounded. His cheeks were so definitely red and hot and fuck he wanted to vanish. ‘Just focus on the topic,’ he told himself. “Anyway, you’re better off using this one,” Roxas pointed to the brand Cloud always used. “That seems to work best with these old machines.” “Cool. Thanks.”

Roxas gave the briefest of smiles to the stranger, not daring to focus too hard on his face. He turned his back and walked to his machine where he was definitely going to throw himself into it and disappear from view. He got to his destination, opened the lid but determined he wouldn’t fit. Instead he checked on the clothes, especially the jeans; checking the hems to see if they were drying properly.

“Yo, guy—dude—you. Cookie!"

Cookie! Roxas was mortified and absolutely wanted to die. He turned his head to take a look and saw flailing hands, beckoning him over.

“Roxas,” he offered, shutting the lid of the dryer to let it continue its tumbling. He reluctantly walked toward the redhead, still trying to distort Cookie Monster on his chest by bunching the fabric up.

“Sure. Sup. I’m… Axel. So this machine… what gives?”

“Whaddya mean? Have you never used one of these?”

“No. Well, yeah. But usually there’s like one button to push and I walk away. These things are ancient.”

That made Roxas huff with a small laugh. “Yeah. Their almost like lost relics from another dimension.” Roxas’ smile fell when he saw Axel give him a confused look. He kicked himself. Why couldn't he stick to simple yes and no answers? He didn't know, but he grew determined to be helpful and just focus on the machine, and not the man. “Ah… you just set the cycle here, hit this, spin that and you’re done. Oh and don’t forget to put the detergent in there.” Roxas pointed to all the things he mentioned.

“Awesome. Thanks, man.”

Roxas gave a small nod and turned to get distance between himself and Axel. He barely made it back to his machine before he heard a frustrated grumble.

“I did what you said. So why isn't it starting?” A metallic thud echoed.

Would this troubleshooting nightmare ever end? Couldn't Roxas be left alone? How much more help did he have to give? Clearly, this was a cruel test on his determination for self-improvement. Roxas turned back around. “Kicking it won't help.”

“Maybe. But it's fun. Wanna try?” Axel grinned.

Roxas’ nervousness died a little bit. He shook his head and returned to Axel's side, checking all the settings, redoing them himself and then they both stood around, hands on hips, looking at it.

Axel gave a loud groan and bowed his head. “I’m not cut out for domestics.”

“I don’t know why it’s not working. You put money in, didn’t you?”

Axel raised his head, stared at Roxas and suddenly looked behind Roxas and pointed, “What’s that over there?”

Roxas snapped his attention behind himself. Was it a fire? A large bug? Another person having walked in? He saw nothing bar the empty doorway. Had he just been made fun of? Roxas turned back around fully prepared to get laughed at but saw the other man slip two coins into the coin slot of the machine and push the start button. 

The machine sputtered to life.

Axel side-eyed Roxas, and Roxas quickly looked away. 

“Oh look, magic! It works now!”

The smile grew and Roxas tried to stifle it but he laughed anyway and Axel let out a small laugh as well. They looked back at each other, smiling.

“Amazing magic,” Roxas remarked, nervous tension sliding off his chest.

Axel nodded. “Hey, uh… Roxas?”

“Mm?”

“You seem like the kind of guy who would know where to get a smoke around here.”

The good mood froze inside of Roxas. “Why?” he asked as he stared.

“Well, I can smell it on you.”

Shit. Roxas frowned and snapped at himself for having been so careless. He was so fucking lucky that Cloud wasn’t around right now. “And?” he asked, hesitant of where this would lead.

“I could really use one right about now.”

Roxas could relate. He debated with himself whether or not to give Axel directions to the tobacconist down in the town or if he should keep Axel around. He heavily leaned toward sending Axel away but… “Well—” He looked around, making sure the coast was clear, and then beckoned Axel to follow him around the corner to where the handwash basins and his hidden stash were.

This was unprecedented, but Roxas thought they had shared 'a moment' so maybe it would be all right. He walked with purpose to the corner of this section of the room and squeezed into the gap between the washbasin and the wall. Axel was right beside him, squeezing into the small space as well.

Their sides were pressed together. Roxas could smell a hint of musk and feel the other man’s radiating body heat. He really hoped he wasn't going to say something stupid as he began talking, “Can you keep a secret?” he asked in a hushed tone.

Axel leaned down. “I’m master of secret keeping.”

Roxas swallowed down the lump forming. Axel’s warm breath brushing against his face was caught and detected by every fine hair on Roxas’ cheeks and caressed his lips. Nervous butterflies swirled around inside himself. “Ah… normally I wouldn’t do this but—” The tremble and buzzing radiated outward from the pit of his stomach. Roxas really needed to calm his nerves. A smoke would help. He shifted, turning toward the wall, and swiftly got the grate undone and his half-smoked cigarette and the lighter out again.

“Ooo, a secret stash!” 

Roxas heard the excitement in Axel’s voice as he slotted the grate back into place, without redoing the screws. He pressed his back against the opposite wall, trying to get an inch of space between himself and the other man, before offering up the nearly half-smoked cigarette.

"Sorry, this is all I've got left."

Axel took it, but not without dragging a finger down the length of Roxas’ hand. "Thank you for sharing it with me." 

The touch nullified all of Roxas’ thoughts and sent his heart racing. He looked up at green eyes, which looked down at him, half closed. Roxas didn’t know what to make of it. He simply watched long fingers holx and push the cigarette against thin lips in a well-practiced manner.

"We'll share the rest of this one?" Axel mumbled past the obstruction in his mouth and leaned towards the lighter which Roxas held up.

Roxas nodded and flicked the lighter a few times. He could hardly breath. Green eyes kept looking at him in a way that was too sexy for Roxas to comprehend. He needed to smoke a whole packet if he was ever going to recover from this.

Roxas kept flicking the lighter, hating himself that he couldn’t get the blasted thing working. He never had a problem doing this in the past. The one time someone was watching him—someone insanely hot, no less—and he couldn't get the blasted thing working. Well, of course, it figured.

“Here.” The other man's warm hand clasped over Roxas’, steadying him enough so the flame could be lit.

The touch was almost electric with the jolt it sent through Roxas and the flutters it caused. He felt so embarrassed that it made him nauseous.

“You don’t do this very often?” Axel leaned the cigarette into the flame and took a few drags to get it lit.

“Only sometimes—blow into the vent,” he instructed. “Stops the place from stinking, and the fire alarm from going off.” 

Axel hummed in appreciation. Whether it was from the nicotine hitting him or from Roxas’ instructions he couldn’t tell.

Smoke was exhaled into the ventilation system. “Clearly you've done this enough times to know the ins and outs of the place. A real veteran at doing the sneaky sneaky, huh” Axel grinned and winked before passing the cigarette on.

Roxas took it, trying his best to ignore the way their fingers touched and connected. The longer he was pressed up against Axel like this the more in need of a smoke he was. He took a drag, and pulled thick air into his lungs, where the nicotine could do its magic. He let out a shaky breath into the ventilation system and coughed a bit at the end.

More embarrassment welled, counteracting the calming effect the smoke was supposed to have on his nerves.

Roxas passed the cigarette back and saw the way Axel barely held laugh at bay.

“Go on. Let it out.”

“Nah. Couldn't do that. Not after your generosity.” Axel took another puff. “Ah… what about the ashes?”

“Tap them into the sink behind you. We’ll wash them down after.”

Axel did laugh at that. “Nice. You got this all figured out. But why the covert operation? Last I checked smoking wasn't illegal—outside that is. Pretty illegal us doing it in here. You doing it for the extra buzz?” Axel chuckled, passing the smoke once more and as it got smaller and smaller their fingers grazed and connected more and more.

“My brother would lose his shit if he found out.” “Why’s he such a busy-body?"

“Our grandad and uncle died from lung cancer. So it’s probably a genetic predisposition and probably in my best self-interest to not smoke. But… you know,” Roxas shrugged, feeling more relaxed in his own skin even as he could feel himself trembling and feel his cheeks oh so hot with the flush he was experiencing. “Once in a while won't kill me, right?”

“I hope not. Would be a waste.” Axel smiled and Roxas chose to look at the wall instead.

They passed the cigarette between one another for a few more pulls before it was all used up. Roxas was glad when it was all over. Having to reach his arm around the guy so he could ash was wearing on him. As was all the body contact, if Roxas was honest with himself. He tried to ignore it because he could feel his heart race every time he noticed the sensation of legs against his own and the man's pelvis and hips digging in. He shifted as discreetly as he could because he was getting hard and he would die if Axel could feel.

Roxas turned away a little and pulled the grate off the wall once more and disposed of the butt in there and replaced the lighter. He really lamented the fact now that he would have to try and bum another smoke off someone in the near future. That activity alone was so nerve-wracking that he really considered forking out the cash to buy a whole pack for himself. But that seemed too risky for the once in a while medicating relief the cigarettes provided. He sighed to himself in resignation and Pulled out a packet of gum.

He turned back to face Axel, pressing himself tight against the wall to create some space between his groin and the warm delicious and ridiculously hot man before himself and held out the packet. “You want?”

Axel laughed and took a stick. “Thanks. What else you got hidden in there? Drugs?”

Roxas took a piece of gum, popped it in his mouth and threw the packet back in the vent. “Um… just this,” he reached in and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. What the hell. He figured he might as well go all the way with incriminating himself. 

“Oh my God, Roxas!” 

The look of surprised mirth, coupled with the laugh Axel gave, sent a tingle down Roxas’ body. “What?” he asked, trying to hide the smile. He figured his blush couldn't get any deeper so chose to ignore that, and instead focused on how maybe, just maybe, he was pulling off cool?

“Don't be giving me that cute little smile. You're way too badass for that.” Axel laughed some more.

Roxas let the smile spread. He totally was pulling it off. If it wouldn't have a detrimental effect Roxas would have cheered and fist pumped the air. “You wanna?” He held the bottle aloft.

Axel accepted it, unscrewed the top, took out his gum, and took a long swig. He passed it back to Roxas when he was done.

“I shouldn't have accepted the drink,” Axel lamented, popping the gum back in.

“Why not?” Roxas looked at him, confused, and took a deep gulp of his own. It tasted weird with the combination of cigarette smoke and minty gum freshness, but the taste wasn't the reason for drinking for Roxas.

“Well, now I can’t use my line of 'we should go out for a drink some time,’ on you, now can I?”

Roxas choked, coughed and sputtered, bending over a little, sending his forehead right into Axel's chest.

Axel's hand was on Roxas' back in moments, patting and rubbing, which only made Roxas sputter more.

“Take it easy.”

Roxas got control of himself, screwed the cap back on, replaced his gum, and thrust the bottle deep into the vent, closing it up. He was making a colossal fool of himself. His mood sullied considerably. “I can't go out for a drink with you anyway.”

“Why not? Do you need your brothers permission for that as well?”

“No. But I'm twenty, so legally not allowed in this dumb country.”

“I should probably be upset about you callin’ my country dumb—” Roxas suddenly froze, but then breathed out a small sigh as Axel continued, “but the drinking age is dumb. So I’ll let it slide. Do you really have a reason to complain though? You somehow got your hands on a red label,” Axel grinned. “You certainly are something else, Roxas, I'll give ya that.”

“Uh… thanks?”

“You're welcome.”

They were still wedged against each other, between the wall and the wash basin. Neither of them giving the slightest hint to the other that they should move. Well... Roxas couldn’t. He felt frozen in place, party by want and party due to sheer terror. He thought his legs would buckle and collapse under him. Axel was keeping him upright and as Roxas looked up at him he hoped he remembered to blink as he stared deep into pools of green. 

Those eyes were so damn sexy.

Axel’s mouth drifted open, his eyes widened a fraction and softened just as quickly. “Ah, thanks. Yours are gorgeous too.” He smiled gently.

Roxas tensed up and forgot to breathe. He swore he could feel all the blood drain away from his face. Had he said something? Shit. He stammered out, “S-sorry. I shouldn't have—they’re not—I mean you’re not—you are—but—just… sorry.” He quickly extracted himself from the tight corner.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” It came out too hoarse and harsh for his own liking. Roxas berated himself for being a massive idiot.

“Is there anything I can do to repay you for sharing your secret stash with me?”

At least Axel wasn’t teasing him about it. That made him feel somewhat relieved. Roxas, feeling a tiny bit more composed, turned around. Green eyes darted upwards, where they exchanged looks. Fuck! Axel had seen Cookie Monster. Thought Roxas had lied about his age. Thought he was a complete moron and a little kid. Roxas crossed his arms. He was going to burn the sweater, he swore he would. But first he needed this to end. His nerves were getting shot again and he felt like he might need to down the whole bottle if this went on for much longer. With a bowed head and a deep grumble he said, “Can you please just forget what a massive dork I am?” 

“Dork? I think you’re really cute… and a bit sexy.” Axel stepped out of the corner to stand right in front of Roxas.

That froze Roxas up completely. He stared at the black boots with a red trim. Swallowing down the tight lump in his throat he slowly lifted his gaze up over jeans, and the red and black sweater up to Axel’s face, where he saw a soft expression.

With hands deep in pockets, Axel said, “If I can’t buy you a drink at least let me take you out.”

“Like… on a date?”

“Mm. Not really but kinda?” he shrugged.

Roxas didn’t understand what that was supposed to mean. “No. Look, that’s not necessary. I didn’t share this with you ‘cause I wanted anything back.”

“Aren’t you nice.”

Roxas frowned and hugged himself tighter, looking away.

“Roxas?” “What?” he snapped, shooting Axel a grumpy look.

“I’d really like to hang out with you some more.”

It was bizarre and out of left field. Roxas looked around himself, half expecting someone to jump out and yell, 'Gotcha!' “Why? I suck.”

Axel chuckled. “Do you now?”

Roxas wanted to die to escape the embarrassment. “No. I…”

“It’s all right. I blow, you know,” Axel winked.

Roxas choked a bit on his spit. “What?” he croaked. What was even happening right now?

“I blow. I’m in this band and I play the sax. What did you think I meant?”

That cheeky smile said it all. Axel was teasing him. For good or for bad Roxas couldn't tell. “I didn’t think that. No.” He grumbled some more and hunched in on himself more.

“Shame, 'cause if you did, well—” Axel flashed his eyebrows up and a smirk bloomed while he flicked his tongue out to wet his lips.

A swirling hurricane of emotions and thoughts whirled through Roxas. What was going on? This stuff never happened to him. People didn’t hit on him. Axel was doing that, right? Or maybe he did just delight in making Roxas flush deeply and to make him uncomfortable? Roxas opened his mouth, but nothing bar incoherent sounds come out.

A low chuckle flowed from Axel. “It’s all right. Come and watch me blow—this Saturday. Any time after eight.”

Had Axel moved closer to Roxas? It felt like there was no space between them. He took a step back. “I ah—I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Good.”

The harsh beeping of the dryer was like a warm embrace from a dear loved one. “That’s me,” Roxas said with haste, turned and almost bolted to his station. As he pulled out the clothes with great speed and determination he heard Axel’s footsteps drawing closer.

“It was fun, Roxas. Don’t forget, this Saturday at the Clay Bar, yeah? You need to see me in action.”

“Yeah, I’ll… maybe.” Roxas slammed the lid shut and almost ran out of the laundry, the bag of laundry thrown over his shoulder. If he had left anything behind he wasn’t coming back for it.

That’s it for chapter one. Feedback appreciated. If you’d like to pre-read the rest for me get in touch on here or Discord or twitter. All my relevant contact info can be found on my AO3 Profile page.

[snailcomicz]

Protag’s Path

     A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

Star Wars.TM

The Hundred Years War

Protag’s Path

A little over ninety years ago, the Jedi High Council cast out one Jedi for claiming using the Dark Side of the Force was justified. Outraged, the fallen Jedi retaliated and fought with all of the dark powers and tools they had been acquiring, teaching those they subjugated and those they chose the powers of the Dark Side.

A generation has passed since that first fallen Jedi, but many of those the fallen taught remained firmly convinced in the powers of the Dark Side. They curse the Jedi Order and the Republic alike for denying them that which they feel they are owed.

Recently the Dark Side forces have been slowly losing ground, but the Republic has been confounded at how, around twenty years ago, their opponents sieges suddenly became more effective than ever. They remain entirely unaware of how a single dark Jedi has been unraveling their every attempt to break through contested points along hyperspace routes...

We scroll down to a massive star ship fight above a planet. None of the ships on either side share the distinctive looks of the ships we’ve come to know, although the designs make them look like older prototypes rather than entirely new ships. A small squadron of undamaged ships pops out of hyperspace behind what appears to be a massive blockade, but behind them a small satellite blinks red twice. We follow the route of the signal it sent, leading us past the largest ship in the blockade and several smaller skirmishes to a moderately sized gunner ship. In a room full of monitors, we see the back of a robe position themself in front of the new alert, cast entirely in silhouette by the sharp light. Another alert interrupts the signal from before, announcing “Critical files have been lost due to enemy bombardment. Please reconnect with the core database, or manually input your specifications for a temporary ID.”

You are the Protag, and this is your path.

Born out of a love for the old KotOR style games, an almost insatiable need to worldbuild, and one night I thank the stars my sleeplessly addled brain wrote down what it was thinking about, this writing exercise follows the story of Protag, the person who’s become a -pro- at -tagging- hyperspace routes and has been working for the dark side of the Force for over thirty years. During this first encounter you command a battalion of ships within a greater fleet engaging in a planet wide siege, and get to decide what kind of dark side user you are. You meet your apprentice and your pilot, learn how the game mechanics work, and maybe play around with what talking style you use. At no point during this mission do you get the chance to do something nice or lessen the damage of the battle-

Yet.

You can play through the game without changing anything about this destructive attitude, continuing your dark reign of terror to the Republic and rising to greater and more terrible power. After the first mission, however, you are separated from the rest of your fleet and forced down to a distant planet for repairs. From then on, you can unlock kinder dialogue options, less damaging solutions to problems, and even work to turn away from the dark side entirely.

     Timeline

As mentioned in the title crawl, this game is set at the tail end of the Hundred-Year Darkness, a time relatively unexplored by the SW universe. Thus, every time I’ve said ‘Sith’ in previous posts have been jossed because the Sith didn’t exist yet and I’m going to have to do so much more freaking research about SW for this, because God has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished.

I kid, I kid. In setting Portag’s storyline so far back, I don’t have to worry about bumping into either the KotOR or the prequels era of history, and I said I wanted to worldbuild right?

(And if you’re wondering why future characters know nothing about Protag’s story, I’ve got a simple answer for you. Not only was it not a widely talked about point of history by the Mandelorian Wars, but the official record was part of the history lost when Malak destroyed the Dantooine Academy. By the time the prequels rolls around, the story’s lost for good, even if the effects your Protag made are not.)

     Plot routes

DS routes:

Darkest Jedi (embraces DS structure)

Your Protag’s reign of terror holds the galaxy by the throat. You have it all by force, Force or manipulation, only to be cut down by the one that will rule after you. In remaining evil and taking control from others, you forfeited your choice of control over yourself and echo the future Sith-Apprentice tradition. Your Protag may be overly confident or paranoid as hell, but no matter what way you play, you cannot prevent your death by apprentice.

Trapped by the System (makes LS outcomes, but stays in the DS structure)

Your Protag remains within the dark side warmongering culture, but their actions show a reluctance to use the full range of their powers. This is a weakness in your brethren’s eyes, but a saving grace in the eyes of those you help. Your dark side allies turn on you, and you are cut down by their blades, but the end credits show you the positive effects your kinder decisions made on the planets/npcs/situations/companions you nurtured where you could within the structure of evil.

LS routes:

The One who Defected (leaves the DS structure, but still makes DS outcomes)

Your Protag becomes ruthless force user who prescribes to neither the light nor the dark side point of view, and is really only contacted by those who either have the amount of money or the genuine need [depending on how you play] to gain your services. Your companions learn self reliance from you, not trust, and most leave eventually. A few may choose to stay at your protag’s side, if you focused on their needs in game.

Changed for the Better (leaves DS structure and works to make LS outcomes)

Your Protag’s influence has helped re-stabilize several critical situations happening around the galaxy. Organizations as a whole don’t outright trust you, but individuals keep seeking you out, wanting to know how you were strong enough to change. Eventually you realize the ones who seek you out have, by circumstance or decision, been led down dark paths themselves but no one had ever so visibly proven that they could change before. Your companions learn healthy boundaries and trust from you, and even when some of them split off they stay in close contact because they’ve grown fond of you. The war has ended, and it’s time to rebuild.

     Game mechanics

Route exclusive Force rules

The Darkest doesn’t have to worry about the petty concerns of the other routes and are always able to use their Force powers, cunning or strength to the limit. You get to continue growing and evolving their powers without any restrictions and way waste to your enemies, and combat is always fun but a relative breeze. Of course, nobody on the light or dark side trusts you, but that’s not new.

If you are playing the Trapped, as you continue accumulating LS points not only do your dark side allies become more suspicious of you, but your Force powers become less powerful. You’re going to have to find other strategies than just blasting people with your powers, or start acting more evil. If you stay in the land of posturing and evil, it’s not just easier to be a jerk, you lose power you used to have if you don’t.

For the Defector, retaining the dark side points keeps your Force power fully charged, but LS organizations don’t trust you as far as they can throw you. You’ll have to be very convincing everytime you need to face something you can’t handle on your own.

In the Changed route, as you progress in the storyline, you start actively giving up Dark Side Force powers to prove how much you are dedicated to changing. In exchange, you gain other avenues of leveling up and the world around you starts to believe you when you tell them you’ve changed. You also start looking healthier the more you do so, although you never lose the dark side eye scarring.

Midbosses and midcompanions

The basic idea here is to do something interesting and actually logical with the ‘you can only get this character if you do X’ rather than basing it on your gender or such nonsense. When you upgrade your ship’s traveling range you encounter a miniboss that lasts more than one encounter, and a new companion. These are the same two characters in different positions depending on your big choice to stay with the Dark Side or leave and Change, and you will have heard of/interacted with them before you encounter them. With both minibosses, at some point in the fight they get some distance on you and you have to decide if you’re going to pursue them now or wait for a different opportunity. Both choices will have positive and negative consequences further down the line.

Force and forcing

In every route you are able to use the Force and have easy access to a companion who is already trained in the Force [through either Nix or Generek,] but almost everyone else doesn’t use the Force when you meet them. Some of them you can’t train in the Force at all, but following and furthering some of the Force dynamics found in KotOR 2, some of you companions can be manipulated to developing Force abilities but shouldn’t for their own health and wellbeing. They give you plenty of signs that this forcing them to use the Force is not a good idea and you can back off before any damage is done, but continuing to push gives you more fighting power at your companion’s expense.

     Protag

Fourties or older, to reinforce that they’re supposed to be set in their ways. They’ve figured out how to survive and live their life, and they can either go along with what they’ve always done which is easy [dark side routes] or they literally have to reframe every way they act which is hard [light side routes]. They are human to convey age and make them instantly relatable. Diverse character possibilities not tied to the pronouns you choose, although if you chose female pronouns the female coded designs queue up in front of the male coded designs and vice versa. Inventor of the hyperspace tagging system, but you get to decide what that means (you stole idea from another, others had different parts but you put all the parts together, you literally invented the satellites used, etc.)

     Companions

Mariah, Twi’lek Pilot. (She/Her, lesbian romance): Purple skin with darker stripes, wears a variation of a male smuggler’s outfit that exposes as little skin as possible. Outright willingly works for you as a dark side commander from the start, thanks to the money you generate for her and your willingness to let her get away with stealing historical artifacts from any places you raid.

If you ignore her needs, she slowly sinks further into the dark side mindset, losing any care for anyone’s wishes aside from her own and yours. If you tend to her needs, she slowly becomes more open with you and defends your actions.

D0-C9, Utility Droid. (He/him): Looks like someone took a small moving box size metal container, put way too many interfaces and wires on it, gave it wheels and called it a day. Mariah’s copilot, unusually advanced utility droid, and ship cook. His comments show some scraps of concern for Mariah’s emotional condition during the adventure, but outwardly he never seems to show much concern for you or others in your party.

The Droid cannot go against Protag’s orders and he sees no reason to, so his influence is based entirely on how well you treat him and Mariah in particular, and all companions in general.

Runscor, Klatooinian Mechanic.(He/Him, gay romance): Light reddish/brown skin, imposingly large and muscled but tries to slump in compensation for it. Quiet, passive, and often overlooked for how quality a mechanic he is. 

If you tear down his opinion when he tries to suggest kinder actions, he folds at the drop of a hat and digs further into his passive nature. If you encourage his kinder suggestions, he can become your greatest reality-tester.

FK-42, Protocol Droid? (They/Them): Humanoid, sets of eyes on both sides of their head, seems to have anti-sand protection all over. They only say “Valanka”, relying on context cues for all other communication. They are extremely manipulative and unpredictable but if you’re smart, you can harness whatever they’re Cain they’re raising to your advantage.

Their ulterior motives are utterly indecipherable, but they seem to want something? Or someone??? They’re influenced when you try to help them locate whatever it/they are, and you lose influence anytime you try to outright stop what they’re doing.

     Mid boss/companion

Nix, Trandoshan Sith. (She/her): Grey scales with fading brown patterns, no scars aside from the Sith eye scarring (unusual for Sith), tall and stocky. She is always docile and agreeable in her interactions with you, which contradicts her background actions of testing your limits and jockeying for a higher position behind your back.

Dark routes companion: You interacted with her on planet 0 as she’s your apprentice, but lost contact during what happened afterwards until you upgraded your ship. As soon as you land on a farther planet she regains contact with you, and after a mission or so she rejoins your party to resume her apprenticeship under you.

Her constant background pushing back against your decisions do come from some underlying needs, if you ignore these needs she becomes even more subtle in her actions and clearly begins plotting your demise. If you address her underlying concerns she backs off, but it only makes what happens in the end harder.

Light routes midboss: On planet 0 you interact with her as your apprentice, and she does not take lightly to you shifting sides. Your turning has made other Sith question her allegiance, and if she can take you out she can salvage some of her reputation. She uses the Force to the limit, and during the fight she makes a massive cave-in which endangers your allies. You can pursue her immediately and leave them to their fate, or wait for a different opportunity to take a shot at her and let her wreak havoc until you find that chance.

Jonni, Human Bounty Hunter. (She/Her): Dark brown skin, visibly prosthetic eye right arm and both legs, clothes leaning on cowboy-esque while still fitting the time period. One of the better known individuals fighting against the dark side forces, she is oddly accepting of slave and working class defectors. She is known for focusing a good portion of her time in a fight minimizing innocent casualties, and slaughtering those who shows no mercy.

Dark routes midboss: Mariah shows you some recorded transmissions involving her to update you on the opposition before you encounter her firsthand. In the first encounter Jonni tries to lead you away from bystanders, and whether you let her lead you away or you manipulate/wound/kill bystanders determines how hard her following fights will be. She’s a highly mobile opponent, leading it to be believable when you’ve both exchanged some hits for her to get away. You can pursue her immediately during a critical moment in whatever mission you came to this planet for, or wait for a different opportunity to take her out which will let her rally her forces with new intel specifically on you.

Light routes companion: She is first among the big Republic figures to acknowledge your efforts to change, even though she doesn’t excuse your past atrocities. Initially she’s of the talking heads on the Comm Link who updates on ‘official’ missions, but she joins your party when your ship capacity expands to check in on more distant planets. (But you also suspect to keep an eye on you after the first Nix encounter).

If you don’t mind civilian casualties she becomes more commanding and distant, and will not be available as a companion on some missions as she tries to minimize the damage both the enemy and you might cause. If you do account for protecting innocents, she becomes vocally supportive of you and easily handles whatever attitude you choose to have.

Zeth, Human Mercenary. (He/Him, pan romance): Asian heritage, with several battle scars and one massive claw mark tearing through part of his left ear. He looks like a mixed martial artist, with bulk and muscles made for strength not looks, and wears battle armor at all times. He is initially aggressive towards you, but surprisingly kind and non combative towards your allies. In the DS routes you hire him directly for his mercenary services, and he will show up with more chances for recruitment for a couple planets if you don’t recruit him immediately. In LS routes he seeks you out, angry and desperate to know why you changed. It becomes clear he wants to change too, but isn’t sure it’s possible so he’s seeing if you’ll break when pushed. If you don’t find a way to recruit him during this encounter, he goes on his merry way and you never hear from him again. 

If you teach him that kindness and mercy are weaknesses to be crushed, he slowly loses his kindness for your companions, focusing solely on keeping you happy, himself alive, and otherwise it’s every being for themself. If you teach him how to handle what he’s done in the past while continuing to value kindness and mercy, he slowly mellows out towards you and through struggling through some of his issues becomes even better friends with your companions.

Gerevek, Dresellian Jedi. (They/them): Mid range yellow skin, red eyes with pupils, very short. Well kept clothes that can change from highly informal to passing for a formal meeting, and hide how much armor they are wearing. They primarily “fight” by making temporary political allegiances among planets during battles, but your tactics have been outmaneuvering them and they are nowhere near as good in a one on one fight. In DS routes, you can break their spirit by making the allies they counted on turn away in fear of you. They will only give you one chance to recruit them when this happens, as they have no belief left in their old outlook but don’t know how to submit to the Dark Side ideology. In LS routes, they insist on joining Jonni in checking on other planets, but it’s pretty blatantly obvious they’re actually keeping an eye on you. They will literally follow you for a few planets if you try to refuse, pulling in minor favors and trying to get your companions to put in a good word for them with varying success depending on the person.

They are an interesting case for gaining influence, as you have to be willing to take the opposite tac of communication than you usually do to show you’re willing to bend to what other people need. If you’re blunt and to the point you have to be more indirect, if you’re sarcastic and deflect emotions you have to show some sincerity, if you’re manipulative and obscure your motives you have to be blunt and to the point, etc. 

Saiga, Bothan Shopkeeper. (She/Her, bi romance): Black fur with brown streaks, grey eyes and tall. Well worn pastel clothes, carries massive rucksack with them everywhere, yes even in combat. Endlessly, stubbornly cheerful and has no problem with your sordid past. Sees you as a fulcrum to get her more power, but also does look after your interests. Perk of using this final companion is, as a shopkeeper herself, she can haggle down prices of any shop you come by.

If you view your mutual relationship as an even transaction she’ll easily oblige, returning every favor you do for her and staying relatively static throughout the game no matter what good or bad things you do. If you invest more in the relationship than can be divided by favors she slowly starts giving more as well, for good or ill.

This post is the foundation I will be using as I continue working on this project, and I’m super excited to keep building up this idea!

[darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts]

Devil’s Temptation pt12

Warnings: Mob Styling warlords, strong language, violent 

Masterlist

---

Chapter 12 – Desperate Measures

Avoiding going to the main office building was not something that could continue to happen. His continued absence was likely to spark new rumours, and adding more fuel to the fire was not going to be helpful right now.

It was almost impressive how quickly everything seemed to escalate, he hadn’t managed to shift the idea that this was the job of a pro. According to the early morning reports, there is no other exit to that tunnel. The service access was located within the whole structure of the tunnel as well so that ruled out her slipping out in some way that couldn’t be covered by those cameras. Could she have done this? No, how would she? She has been under protection and guards this whole damn time. She had her mobile but she hasn’t touched it and no one has even tried to contact her. Actually, I think it’s still in her room in the loft. Dammit, I can’t even ask for a trace on that.

Everything was exactly as he had been told. She kept herself to herself and it was her low profile that had saved her all this time from being found. There was no doubt she had been smart but it was only a matter of time before this cat and mouse game turned to the inevitable. You were good [Name] but I was better.

No this was organised. It was a total set up. He could feel his blood flash hot at the idea that someone had dared cross him in such a way. Did they know about the agreement? Its details? What would happen if it didn’t happen? His mind wandered over the possibilities jumping from idea to idea like stones skipping across water. He reread the same section of the email he had received again, unable to take it in. This is no good I can’t focus on the “legitimate” work.

– Buzz –

The sound of the intercom on his desk broke the spell of the struggle he was having.

“Yes, what is it?”

“Mr Yasui. There is a gentleman here to see you. I explained that as he didn’t have an appointment you might not be able to see him but he is insisting that you are already expecting him.” The timid voice of his secretary spoke clearly to him from the small speaker.

“Send him in and take an early lunch. On your way inform Mr Tanaka that I wish to see him.” Takahiro issued his order through clenched teeth as he bit back the desire to curse aloud.

“Yes, Sir.”

– Click –

Fuck! Ok this was coming I knew that but it’s too early. I need more time I need to find her I need… While in a rattled panic Takahiro started opening up draws on his desk and rummaging through papers there. It was a vain hope that something there would be enough to explain away [Name]’s absence. Away working with an interior designer to come up with ideas for our new home? No, no good he’d ask for an address. Spa retreat? No, he’d want the number to phone and check… His hand fell on the cold steel of a gun barrel.

It was an old weapon, small something close to what you might imagine a female spy to carry concealed on her somewhere in a movie except this one, well this one had a history. It was his history, his gun, the one he turned on his own brother during a family dinner after that little stunt was pulled at the lake house where someone tried to kill him. One problem with being in this world was it was dog eat dog. The points of view of the older and respected members of the families were deeply rooted in a ridged system of patriarchy.

The children pitted together in an invisible ring and made to fight it out to the end. Whoever won was the new head and whoever lost was either used to form ties and bonds somewhere else or cast out. Takahiro often thought that being cast out was kinder. But then there was the issue with lack of ability to lead a normal life. You grow up in the dark underbelly of society it is very difficult to then start living in the blinding sun on the surface world. It was even more difficult when you were still seen as taboo.

It was hardly the era of the past. People tended to be much more accepting these days and yet there was still that stigma. You had certain expectations and those governed your life. He needed this. He needed [Name]. She was the ticket to freedom he wanted. I told you this was more than just a union of family, this was our ticket to be able to lead a life without speculation. A life without judgement. No one looks further than the wife in a relationship. Rumours spin no matter if the marriage is happy or not. People always look for those hints of hidden lovers. But this would give those rumours a lot less weight within the families. Yes, this would keep those old relics happy.

The door to his office opened allowing just one-person entrance.

“Where is my daughter?” [Name]’s father bellowed as he strode into the space, his short greying brown hair shaking as if to visualize the man’s anger and concern more.

“I don’t know.” Takahiro could have lied but he was exhausted. Although a lie would just result in the man before him being even more enraged so there was really no point.

“What?”

“I’ve been searching since she vanished four days ago. No one has seen her, there is no trace.” At Takahiro’s words the father sunk into one of the chairs on the other side of the desk. His face was white as a sheet. His eyes swimming as he processed everything. His child was gone again.

“If you cannot look after her then our agreement is void.” Those monotone words might have been spoken out of a mixture of shock and grief but they were also the ones that Takahiro didn’t want to hear. I suppose it is a good thing you came alone. Good for me that is.

“It truly saddens me to hear you say that. But… I should also thank you.”

“Thank me?” Picking up on the shift in Takahiro, [Name]’s dad suddenly looked up from his seat. Realisation dawning on him that this was not something that was going to be in his favour at all. He had been too trusting, too complacent. He had walked willingly, and alone, into the lion’s den at feeding time. The almost black eyes of Takahiro were practically smouldering as they remained focused on him his arm rising from his side, the chrome barrel of a small pistol nestled firmly in his hand. He had no time to react.

– BANG! –

The smell of a freshly fired gun mingled with the smell of fresh blood. Takahiro calmly put the weapon back in the drawer and locked it before standing up and moving around the desk to look at the body of the old man in the chair. His eyes were growing darker with each strangled breath. How easy it would be to let you die, but you still have a use even in your sorry state.

“Because of you, I shall be able to recover what is mine… Thank you.”

---

Nobunaga could take a lot of things and he tolerated them with ease most of the time. But this development was not something he was willing to overlook. Disruption in his home and business. He was King of this castle and he would see it remain a peaceful oasis during times when wars were raging outside. No this had to be dealt with.

– Knock, Knock –

“[Name]” He waited for a reply. She is in there I know. “[Name] I am not in the habit of repeating myself. Open the door.”

The door clicked open and she stood to the side staring at him through the narrow gap. She was pale, faint marks remained on her face that showed the trails that tears had taken over her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy too. It seems I was probably right to come after all.

“Nobunaga? What do you want?” She asked in a small tired voice.

“I think we need to talk.”

“Talk? You never once concerned yourself with what I had to say before, so why now?” It had only taken a second. Blink and you would have missed it but the steel in her spine seemed to solidify once more and she was back to fighting mode. You really are a Fireball. Nobunaga had to suppress the desire to laugh at the sight. You really are an entertaining woman [Name]. Who knows in another time things might have been different.

“Before you weren’t something to concern me now…” I have one of my best men rattled so badly to his core it threatens to make him useless to me. He didn’t say the last part to that statement. That bit was none of her concern. Right now, he had one man down and he knew there was no way that they were going to meet an understanding in any way unless one of the stubborn duo listened to reason. Mitsuhide was lost in his own self-loathing that left one option. You are the key to this [Name].

[Name] backed away from the door leaving it open and returned to the seating in the living room. Nobunaga followed closing the door behind him.

“So, you are here because?” She inquired as she sat on the couch.

“I realise what happened was less than ideal.” Nobu said as he took a seat without being offered one. 

“Less than ideal? That is the understatement of the century. Are you actually here to try to make things a bit easier to understand or were you planning on just mocking me?” She was fizzing. It wasn’t exactly an explosion waiting to happen, but she was certainly throwing off sparks.

“Emica.” Nobu threw out the name without any emotion in his voice. She has nothing to do with this situation and yet everything to do with it all at the same time. I haven’t seen Mitsuhide so near the edge of the void since that day and I don’t think ignoring it as he seems to want to do is going to help.

“Who?” [Name] was clearly confused.

“That is where it started.”

“And what or who is Emica?” She reiterated her first response. I see he really did tell you nothing. Was it out of shame, guilt or a desire to save you from himself though I wonder?

“She was someone special to Mitsuhide once. She still is in a way as he never moved on. Emica was the daughter of a small family in our circles. She was young, full of energy and always smiling.” Nobu watched as [Name] watched him intently taking in every word he was saying. “It was decided that Mitsuhide would be in charge of her.”

“Were they engaged?” Her quick-fire question almost made Nobu question if she had heard of similar things happening around her. Perhaps it was the plot for a popular television programme or something.

“Not officially. She was the sister of one of his friends, to start with they were all close like siblings. After she left school, she was offered as a bride. Mitsuhide was to be her intended. I don’t think he ever felt romantic love for the girl but he did love her none the less.” Nobu remained observant. The small woman in front of him had a strong front on at the moment. It faltered only when Mitsuhide was mentioned directly. In those brief fleeting seconds, she looked just as frail as she did on the day of the funeral. She still loves him. Good, that means I wasn’t wrong. You can still be useful. 

“I see… But I still don’t see how Emica is the issue.”

“On the way to the engagement part,y there was an ambush. She was shot.” [Name]’s eyes shot open at that. A very real look of shock, horror and heart break played out in her big blue eyes. Nobu continued aware of her emotions but convinced that this was something she needed to hear. “Mitsuhide found out later that he was the intended target. He never forgave himself.”

“So, he is… because… what is he exactly?”

“One of the best men I have at getting jobs that need doing done. If I gave him just one title it would be an insult to him and his talent.” Nobu was being honest. Mitsuhide was a master at his craft, and that craft spread out over many different fields in sometimes undetectable ways. “He turned down a path that day seeking his own answers and his own justice for what happened. For all his faults in how he handled the situation between you both. He did what he did believing it was the only way to protect you.” Mitsuhide you owe me for this, I hope you realise that? 

“I… I would love to say I understand but…” She lowered her eyes. Colour had returned a little to her skin and her voice was less weak but it was clear she was overwhelmed. If there was another way. I would choose that. But there is no time.

“It’s a lot to take in and process.”

“Exactly. Even telling me all this I’m still not sure I can just forgive, forget and move on.”

“No.” Nobu’s strong deep voice cut her off before she could continue. His change in volume and tone made her whole-body jolt. Her conclusion to what he had told her was all wrong. It was not why he had told her any of this. Had he wished to help? Of course, he had. He wanted Mitsuhide to stop flitting around like an empty shell. He wanted his business to continue as it had. Hell, he wanted that jumped up little jerk Yasui to disappear. But he not once was asking her to forgive and forget.

“What?”

“I did not tell you this so you could do that. Experiences in life are things that shape us in ways that make us who we are in the here and now. Without those experiences, we would not have knowledge, understanding or the ability to cope with future things that would threaten to topple us from where we stand.” Nobu explained calmly. If nothing else he could guide her a little from his own personal experience. I messed up, but even I know it pays to have people you trust around you during that time. That is what I learned. 

“So, you told me this just so that I knew some facts that might help me process the current situation easier than stumbling around in the dark?” She tilted her head and her expression seemed to soften a little as she looked at him in a new light.

“Correct.” Nobu nodded once and smiled. “He was right about you.”

“He was?” Now she appeared to have been thrown right back into the land of confusion. She really is full of interesting expressions. I can see the appeal. What must it be like to tease this woman?

“You are bright and intelligent. You grasp concepts quickly, and you are strong.”

“He called me strong?” She scoffed.

“He actually called you stubborn.” Nobu’s flat reply made her pause for a second before laughing. At least you smiled. Good. After regaining her composure, she continued.

“I’m still failing to see why he would go that far for someone he just pulled off the street during a gun fight.”

Did she truly not see it? Did she think that whatever they shared was a series of long one-night stands meant only something to one of them? If you knew him as I do you would know that he is not the type of man that can do such a thing. He is a lot of things but Mitsuhide has never been that.

“Fear can make you do stupid things… as can love.” Nobu reached out to touch her hand that was clenched next to her leg. Easing it open with his hand so as to relax it before she could do damage to herself.

“Love?”

---

Burning. It was the only thing he felt now and even that was becoming a numb sensation. The more he drank in the hope to drown out the voices in his own head the more he felt the weight of the words they spoke.

“Idiot… Fool… Heartless… Inconsiderate… Moron… You did all that and you still hurt her.”

I don’t deserve to ask her to try to understand or for forgiveness. What I did was beyond something I could expect to be forgiven for. Sighing he drained yet another bottle of strong sake tossing it into the recycling to join its other empty comrades. I should probably eat something. He has skipped lunch, unwilling to sit in a room surrounded by the guys and feeling so completely alone once more. Those eyes watching him out of concern also seemed to scream judgement. It was exhausting pretending it didn’t affect. I’ll just grab a sandwich or something that will be enough.

Thinking this Mitsuhide left his room opening his door and felt a soft thump as something landed right into his chest. What was that?

---

[demonslayvr]

VERSES RUNDOWN.

'fore blazing home came atumbling  ;  there was a family of four  (  childhood v. )

PRE GAMES  /  NOVEL’S  /  MANGA’s.   pretty clear  --  this is any interaction that has been plotted or otherwise during dante’s childhood til the fire.  by default he’s going to be about 6 - 8 years of age with the latter age at least a couple months before the fire.  

quite indeterminate yet the bang of a gun and the slash of a sword still remain a constant ( undetermined v  )

PRETTY OBVIOUS.   i haven’t made a decision where shit goes yet thus its undetermined.  will change during thread once we plot more on it or i figure something out myself.

not everything has a simple ending.  crashing demons is easy but other things ? that can be tough  (  multifandom v  )

GENERAL CROSSOVER / MULTIVERSE v.   pretty generic verse for when either dante himself or another character   outside   of the devil may cry canon gets tossed comes inside it.  i’ll probably branch off if and whenever i make verses for  in - fandom specific  threads when i build something for each one of them but this is it for now.  sometimes this verse tag will accompany another one  ;  which just means whichever verse he’s in and what you should follow development wise is connected. basically just a multi - fandom tag for crossover threads,  lads.   

die trash man  ;  take your sword and SHOVE IT  ( crack  )

GENERAL CRACK.   as the package says it’s just a verse / tag for crack whenever it happens.  sometimes it may 

a flash to a past that holds bitter air.  pain was a story here.  you wish not to go back   ( post dmc5 / alternate interaction v )

ALTERNATE INTERACTIONS.   pretty much like with the multifandom verse tag this one is simply going to go with   any   other version of himself dante interacts with.  might get latched onto with another verse tag just for my own sanity but  . .  yep.

low feelings  ;  simply moving along to find dangers and distractions ( devil may cry one v. ) 

SET JUST BEFORE,  DURING OR AFTER DMC1 AND BEFORE FOUR.  pretty much as the previous sentence says lads.  he’s an angstee boy but not as angsty as his two self i guess lmao.  but yeah,  this verse is a huge back track in terms of development and how he is in the verse   below  this one.

bang bang bang kiss of the gun & blade ; where are we?  (  post dmc5 - main )

POST DMCV.   follows the full OG dmcv canon til end  -  depending on interaction this could mean that any vergil written with and dante are in hell still doing whatever the fuck they please   or   after the fact and home and going on with their lives.  or trying  ;  considering vergil is back in his life and alive.  this is also the   DEFAULT   verse of the blog.

there's a fire in your veins that speaks your losses yet you continue to bend in remembrance (  atla / lok v.  )

SHUNNED.   known for killing his twin brother,  his very name and even more so in taking jobs to pay the bills   --  jobs that more so upset the delicate balance between the human and spirit realms.  

dante sparda   comes from the fire nation  -- his father a previous high general in the army  ; one that tried to broker peace in a time where it was unheard of while the fire nation ruled. his father met eva when he was traveling the earth nation and secretly begun a relationship with her.  their love was beautiful,  eventually in as much secret as possible eva bore two young boys:  vergil and dante sparda.

happiness was not to last however as wind was caught of the affair and the children,  leaving eva and the young sons to go on the run with sparda defending their escape.  the name sparda was drug through the mud as the man was never heard from again after that night. unknown what became of him as deflected firebending set the house ablaze.

short years pass,  spending it on the run from those who want to end the chapter of embarrassment  --  but it finally catches up.  one evening eva comes running,  telling her boys to go  --  to run and hide.  forget their names but stay at each other’s side.  the twins do as told and don’t look back  ;   the last time they see her.  however in their escape they end up separated,  captured by soldiers of the fire nation.  dante’s anger and despair of losing his entire family causes him to lose control  ;  lashing out on the soldiers that caught him and running away

“ you must change your name  ;  forget your past and start a new life as someone else.  “

that he does.  he changes his name and disappears,  alone.  fast forwarding a couple years he’s a spirit hunter  ;  taking jobs that rid   “  evil spirits  “  that cause issue or problem for anyone that pays a good amount.  a mercenary that cuts down those who’ve wronged the wrong person  ;  non and bender’s alike.  his father’s sword,  rebellion,  at his back to assist and create a dancing display of fire just as much as his bending.  he’s a difficult one to get close to but once you cool him off   (   haha )  he’s a loyal friend and ally.  

with the war over at the end of the series he’s more vocal of who he is  --  even though he was  previously   but with some of the fire nation’s  “ norms  “  kind of relaxing from fire - lord zuko’s rule   . .  he’s his father’s son.  his mother’s son.

lok  verses are basically  . .  kinda the same.  except i guess he’s older   . .  ??

pay off the debt to save your skin  ;  something within broke and former gentle soul crushed under weight ( dmc 2.0 v )

CANON DIVERGENT.  dante snapped,   perhaps it was inevitable  -  perhaps losing too many people tore what little the cambian could handle to pieces and the person that emerged from it was more a threat than he was before.  after the events of devil may cry 1 after realizing that he had  ( supposedly   )  killed his brother there was something in him that couldn’t handle it and everything begun to crumble.

in this timeline something in him changed, and while it wasn’t immediate  –  little things when he would have been understanding over a situation didn’t sit as they should.  but it happened quickly.  with trish’s betrayal he didn’t help her,  allowing her to get crushed by the tumbling rocks  ;  simply standing there and watch it happen.  its drawn out,  with him coming over to crouch beside her as she struggled to heal.  in his allowance bore cruelty,  snarling that she should have known better to betray him  –  mundus shouldn’t have done what he did and expect him to now not try and go after him.

he,  as he does in the normal timeline,  states that while she looks like his mother that she has no soul,  no fire and for that she’s just a puppet.  he shoots her more than once,  killing her   –   the last time he sheds a tear.  he reaches mundus,  who commends him for his actions yet the hybrid isn’t having it.  the fight with mundus goes about the same but with dante  killing him   for ultimately forcing him to murder his brother,  being the one who set the orders to   burn down   his home  –  twice   –  and turn his life upside down.

he goes through the portal mundus opened to  try   and escape and ultimately assumes himself as the  new king  of the underworld.  he still runs his business since even though he’s king there will always be factions that don’t   like it   due to his bastard blood and he’s more than happy to snuff it out.

his attitude is   mostly   intact   (  though this is said   loosely   since he’s less talkative and jovial   )   though now it’s unsettling at times since his jokes and humor can be a bit morbid  – let alone how his aura feels.  its dangerous and uncomfortable to be around  ;  his care for humans as a whole is almost non - existent except for a small inkling for lady.  

BIG NOTE:  THIS TIMELINE IS SET AFTER DEVIL MAY CRY ONE,  KIND OF   SKIPS FOUR    (    though it   IS   likely nero still exists but dante doesn’t care much about it  or know   )    SLIGHTLY INVOLVES TWO    ( aka:  dante gets annoyed that some idiot human is making helicopters messed up with demonic juju and wants to become king.  so he kills arius  )  AND INVOLVES   SOME CONTENT   OF FIVE.  

to enact your revenge most had been taken  ;  body & mind broken so it could begin   (  witcher v  )

———–   destiny.  you hear it more than you’d like to admit.  destiny is what brought your parents together  ;   one monster and the other a witch.  two were born,  twins and raised in care by the witch til fate came to pass and ripped the three of you left apart.  in trying to halt destiny the father,  sparda,  had done his best to hold it off  ;  disappearing one afternoon when the boys had been young   ——–   so long ago.  his hope ??   that staying away would bring a kinder reality and future.

fire and blood,  a mother doing best to protect her children was found disemboweled on the floor within the crumbled castle foundations.  the youngest child was told to hide,  hide away and if the mother didn’t resurface   . .  to run.  she didn’t,  but the youngest fought his way out of the castle   —-  skills of his mother surfacing with an aptitude for beast slaying in the same scope.  his father’s sword,  created by hellish and beastly means was his and aptly used to start a revenge   —  to   KILL   demons in his mothers name.  and in his brothers   —   as both were believed to have perished in the attack.

in a short time and with training the young hybrid killed demons for a price   ;   eventually catching the eye of a witcher.  the nature of the hybrid himself and the skills he held were of interest   —   brought to kaer morhen to be trained as a witcher.  almost losing himself in the process yet he endured,  it further altering his physiology that was already different with the hybrid nature he had.

with the trials and effective torture to   be   a witcher an astounding success he buried into the extensive training to pursue the beast that slayed his family while also being a monsterslayer for hire.  

———–   destiny.  you hear it more than you’d like to admit.   destiny and fate has brought you here.  brought you a thought lost ache in your heart for the family lost all to avenge them and   kill   the beast that killed   them.   you feign your disinterest,  your lack of care but there is much of it in soul.   destiny   is a cruel mistress,  son of sparda.  yet perhaps she may gift you the   KINDNESS   to provide retribution if you are to   live   long enough.

Notes 1:    with his father’s blood and how he is part beast,  his body temperature is more abnormally hot than normal  –  able to reach just below lava temperatures without it seeming to create any problems for him.   Notes 2:   his magic is mostly fire based,  secondly offensive  (   akin to geralt’s in show how it can push things back,  etc  ).  with the fire being used to distract he’s referenced to a dragon at times which he ignores. Notes 3:   dante’s still trans because i say so   ;   while magic used to be used to help him pass he’s since has procedure through coin to get effectively top surgery  —  the scars easy to pass off due to his occupation.  bottom surgery hasn’t been attempted but with becoming a witcher,  like the rest,  he’s infertile. Notes 4.    he’s   school of the wolf   because i said so,  wolves are cool and it has geralt so sue me  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

you wished you could forget ; everything else seems to blur but not him. not the brother you lost. (  IT v.  )

AFTER THE FIRE  you found yourself in foster care with your brother in tow. foster turned into adoption with the family that adopted the two siblings ended up bringing the two of them too derry,  maine.  immediately the youngest sibling knew something was off about the town  ;  the atmosphere unsettling but kept it to himself,  not wanting to blow the change he had with his brother at having a new life.  (   he and vergil are still cambion’s,  but their power is,  like,  kinda not as Large as it is normally.  still half demons tho folks.   )

the youngest had trouble settling in a new town,  smaller than the last  –   economically  (  as he and his twin were upper class before this )   and town size in general with more seeming conservative values.  he was lucky to find himself in a slightly liberal and understanding household as he was a transgender kid who no one knew any less of. something he was more careful to keep to himself.

everything was fine,  the brothers settled in and all was well until it wasn’t.  exploring the woods and the barrens  –  finally opening up to his brother that things were strange in the town and he could feel something off.  they went looking but in doing so  . .  there had been an opening of weakness for the two  –  distractions and a trap.  their mother,  burned and in pain asking for their help  ;  of course the two came closer.  there was a small difference in this faux recreation and trauma that dante noticed  –  calling out for his brother to stay away but,  unfortunately the youngest saw the eldest fall victim to the trap  –  terrified and running away when he couldn’t do anything but possibly fall victim too.

time passed,  school continued on with whispers and comments on how the twin had probably did it himself,  causing the kid to isolate himself from everyone even though he knew what he say.  adults didn’t believe him but there was a group that seemed to have had a run in with this   . .  fuckin’ clown.  

(   going off:  smol™ dante getting involved with the losers after he straight up talks to one of them about what happened and what he saw  /  big™ dante having gone off like the rest of the losers doing his own thing aka kill other demon / eldritch things as normal kinda sorta and then re - meet up with them  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

same person but different mistakes  ;  still wrought pain upon brothers ( altered outcome / divergent v. )

CANON DMC DIVERGENT.   pretty much a what if  /  reversal if dante led the life vergil did instead of vergil himself.  it’s pretty much the same events but with dante the cause of them or involved instead of vergil.  his attitude is close to what 2.0 dante is but not entirely there in terms of destruction.  however he is still trying to deal with the aftermath of nelo angelo fame and dmcv’s whole thing.

ARISE ;  for you are reborn into something greater.   ARISE    baricontralto angelo - fight.  ( post dmc 5 div. nelo angelo dante v  )

HE HAD BEEN COCKY. the cambion had been cocky upon returning back with his twin from the underworld   ;   cocky that with his twin that nobody could beat them if they simply worked together.  and he was right.  he was right up until he was wrong and time,  well  . . time wasn’t kind.    it had been nine months   since their return from the underworld from cutting down the qliphoth and in that time a   familiar blue amulet   found itself back in dante’s possession.  it had been lost for several decades,  having been lost to the boy during the day he had come home to find gavreel and the family slaughtered on the lawn.

he kept it close,  he knew the meaning   –  he knew that there was   peace   again but  .  . he knew the danger of once again having this but would not dare get rid of it   –  he’d ride the coaster until it stopped.  he’d be happy to have this shred of happiness and he felt he was finally allowed to have something   –   happy to have his brother back and have some semblance of family.

that was,  well,  until he   lost   the amulet.  he didn’t notice that he did,  believing it was still in pocket during a small run in with demons  ;  a job that he had taken alone   –  it seemed that fate was playing her hand that day.   it had been dropped during an evasion and was lost upon his shift ahead   –  he didn’t even spot it.  the job became less easy,  it tiring him considerably as the  small group   of demons became larger   –   and while it was initially a challenge   . .

it soon became taxing.  as the larger the numbers the more exhausted the demon hunter became,  the more he started to slip up.

it was only then did he realize that this was no job.  it was a   trap   and he was caught in a net he couldn’t tear himself from.  a familiar feeling emerged,  one he   hadn’t felt   for decades.  a demonic force that he had thrown fury at that same time.  he hadn’t been this week before.  he knew who this was and   . .   he was in trouble.  this trap had been calculated and he had fallen into it hook,  line and sinker.

the distraction of the feeling,  of the demonic energy rising in the space leaves him vulnerable  –  attacks slicing at his back,  his arms and legs   –   a lucky slash to his throat leaves him struggling and gripping his throat.   he hits his knees before he realizes he does  ; he ultimately   —   unintentionally   —   bows    to the demon king before he passes out, demonic weapons and claws slashing into his back.

the next   redacted years   in the demon world are a nightmare that  post   angelo dante would have trouble remembering for all that happened are buried deep in repressed memories.  the years blur together,  but dante holds for a long time  –  dante suffers,  he burns,  he aches,  he struggles    –   he perseveres.  for a time anyway.   he recalls and holds onto the trade out  . .  that this could have been   vergil   here instead of he.  last minute changes,  bouts of laughter as he accepted the job and ran out the door.  

see you soon   he had said.  but the jovial air had long past.  memories begin to muddle,  to ebb and fade in and out as things became foggy.  a struggle to remember  –   a struggle to fight but   . .   not all fights can be won.  this one eventually was lost.

out of years of torturous pain and bloodshed arose a new pet,  a puppet that was loyal and true.  one that slaughtered doppelganger after doppelganger of brother and self,  of friends and allies that the king knew that the former knew.  he was satisfied that his little puppet would do just fine.  that perhaps he could lure in his old   ;   have the complete set  –  for use of the younger did fine in breaking the elder.

this soldier has two forms  ;  one that fed to his devil trigger (   generic nelo angelo  –  not much power is used for it  –  basically it’s dante on the regular tapping into demonic power with his first devil trigger.  he’s stronger than normal,  having given into his addiction to human and demon blood and grown more powerful because of it  )  

and another that feeds into his   sin   devil trigger  (  essentially the  ‘  dragon  ‘  -  esque look.  however its almost imperfect in how the black scales have become the darkish red  / brown  ;  something not quite right.  scales do fall off without warning from time to time, revealing a near lava like flow underneath.   )  

baricontralto  . .  a name to be used to not arouse suspicion  ;   a soldier that would destroy armies and bring cities to their knees in the name of his master.   time would be swift for the pawn to be used,  for the king himself was pleased.  he was cocky with his new toy  . .   and it wasn’t long before he was to be used   . .  

despite all your losses & destruction ; despite trauma &  trials  . .  my darling boy you’re still you. (  undertale v.  )

[  fight  ]                     [  act ]                    [  item  ]                   [ mercy  ]    

                                     ↳   [  dante sparda ]                                      ↳   [   check  ]

IT WAS UNPRECEDENTED.  a human and a monster coming together and falling in love.  falling in love after the war to a human   witch   that found herself in the closed off underground after a tumble.  sparda protected eva from the monsters at first,  keeping her under his care  –  yet the umbra witch found herself using her powers and skills to assist in healing a monster in peril.  

keeping eva out of harms way was  . .  difficult due to her humanity being a source of contention.  monsters wanted to escape.  eva rather enjoyed being alive.  in the end eva’s healing magic to save and protect those around her and her love and the fact that she was  older   and not prime use to open a proper exit to the human world.  asgore swore eva off limits to monsters as she was kind and a healer to them all.

in time sparda and her married and she bore two children  ;   hybrids   –   part monster and part human.

but not even the king’s word could stop those who still feared humans and humanity.  those who held   rage   toward a species that had caused so much trouble and locked them away for thousands of years,  if not more.   a fire erupted into the underground,  started at the quaint yet spacious house and spread further throughout the underground.  by the time it had been put out  –  eva had been recovered,  dead,  in the home attempting to escape herself but the boys nowhere to be found.  with her last ounce of magic she had sent her boys away,  far away and out of the underground and topside.

now alone and separated from his remaining family and traumatized by the attack to his home the hybrid remained alone  –  growing up such until he found himself protecting humanity against   other   monsters   ;   demons.  demons and monsters that had managed to stay in the human world but grew dangerous and lost themselves.   dante sparda grew to love his humanity yet slowly accept the monster part of himself.

with a job giving him   whispers   of the brother he thought he lost through his own hand now somehow residing in the underground  . .  he flew in to investigate,  still holding some anger over what had been done to his family yet   . .  holding   determination   and patience to deal with the rumors and what he’s about to come across.

[writinghq]

Headcanons of Either Lev and or Kenma having a super shy sweet and nerdy childhood friend? And over the years the guys develop the fluffiest of crushes on them, but the friend is super oblivious and just assumes they're being silly with all of the blushing and stuttering they're doing! If you don't want to write for this that's perfectly fine!! All of you have a wonderful Day/Night!!💜

hi, love! we hope you enjoy and have a wonderful day too 😘

HAIBA LEV

Lev and his childhood friend have been together since the infancy

Their mothers were very close friends, so in turn, the children became close friends too

Lev, being Lev, didn’t really think too deeply about it, but he’s very attached to them, always worrying about them, spending as much time with them as he can, and constantly finding ways to make them happy

It was pointed out to him in his first year of high school that he might like them

After receiving a detailed description of what it means to like someone, Lev finally realized that he really did have a crush on his childhood friend

He had always acted naturally around them, but now that he was aware of his feelings, he wasn’t sure what boundaries existed and what he could and couldn’t cross, and was now deeply concerned about what he should do

He completely forgot about these worries after a day though

His childhood friend was oblivious to all of this as they themselves didn’t really think too much about the romantic aspect of things

Whenever they’d pass by, Lev would always wave to them enthusiastically from afar right before charging over to where they are

When they were together, Lev would catch glimpses of them when they weren’t looking, just thinking to himself that they’re the most attractive person he’s ever seen

His emotions follow alongside theirs: when they’re happy he is, and when they’re sad he is too

He was staring at his childhood friend while they were doing their homework

He was supposed to be working too, but he got distracted

As he was looking at them, his gaze fell to their lips

He started to think about how their lips would feel like

And then the thought of how it would feel like to kiss them came to mind

He looks away, confused as to how he started thinking about it in the first place

But then he continues to think about it

His childhood friend immediately notices Lev’s lost state of mind

They call out his name but Lev is too deep in his thoughts to hear

They move their face close to get Lev’s attention

“Lev?”

Lev’s attention is brought back to them

“Ah! ___!”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah! I am—!”

Before he could finish speaking, his childhood friend leans their forehead onto his to check their temperature

Lev’s eyes widen

“Well, you don’t seem to have a fever, maybe we should just rest for today—“

Lev immediately jumps back, still processing just how close his face was to theirs, how close his lips were to theirs

Lev’s face starts to turn red, his appearance already disheveled from his little jump of surprise

His childhood friend gets flustered by his unnatural response

“Wha-what was that—??”

Lev started to feel guilty about his thoughts

“I’M SORRY!”

“Huh?! For what—?!”

Lev immediately stands up, gives them a bow, and dashes out the door

For the next few days, Lev avoids them, still feeling ashamed of what happened that day

His childhood friend doesn’t like drawing attention to themselves, but they got so concerned with him that they started chasing him around, confused as to what went wrong

Lev then continues to run away

After a lot of hard work, his childhood friend finally has him cornered and gets him to go home with them

On the way home, his childhood friend asks Lev if they’ve done anything wrong

“Lev, if I did something to make you hate me, please tell me.”

Lev’s heart drops at the sight of his crush sad and gloomy because of him

“I don’t hate you.”

Lev’s childhood friend stops walking and turns to face him

Lev looks into his childhood’s friends eyes, and gathers his courage to answer them

Then Lev, with the most serious expression on his face, confesses to them

“I like you.”

His childhood’s friend’s sparkle at the words

They then give him a smile

“I like you too, Lev.”

Lev is absolutely ecstatic and skips the whole way home

His childhood friend didn’t know that was a confession

And Lev didn’t know that his childhood friend didn’t know that that was a confession

So, for the whole week, Lev was being super sweet to them

They already did almost everything together, eating lunch, going to and from school, studying, eating at each other’s houses, but Lev was putting even extra effort

His childhood friend just thought that was him just being different that week and left it at that

It was when Lev hugged them from behind that they finally realized something was up

Their cheeks were burning up

“What are you—“

“I’m just so happy that you like me back.”

His childhood friend then releases themselves from his grasp

“What do you mean?”

Lev discloses to them what happened and his childhood friend gets even more flustered as they understood everything that happened the past week

They cover their face with one hand to hide their blushing face

They apologize to Lev and explain to him the misunderstanding

Lev’s smile shatters and he stares down to the ground

“B-but—!”

Lev looks back up at his childhood friend

He could see that they were turning red all the way to their ears

“Please, let me think about it, first.”

Lev then cheers up and his lips form a big smile

“Yes!”

KOZUME KENMA

Kenma couldn’t remember exactly how he and his childhood friend met

It seemed like they were always just there

Kenma realized he had started liking them around middle school

He had a sudden change of feelings at the time and after pondering about it, he figured it out

And he made the most understandable decision

He left it alone

He thought that these kinds of feelings would pass anyway so he decided to put them aside until they did

Unfortunately for him, they didn’t go away and actually continued all the way to high school

He’d think about them out of nowhere during the day and then try to snap himself out of it by thinking of a strategy for the next game he was going to play

When talking to them, Kenma would give them the same attitude as he does to everyone else, but ever so slightly, you can tell that he’s a bit kinder to them

Kuroo noticed it around the time Kenma entered high school

“Hey, Kenma.”

“Hm?”

“You like ___, don’t you?”

Kenma actually looked up from his game to give Kuroo a distressed expression

“Eh?!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, you don’t need to lie.”

Before Kenma could even deny it, Kuroo had already accepted it as a fact

Kuroo then started to observe Kenma to see how else Kenma like their mutual childhood friend

When their childhood friend was interacting with any possible love interest at all, Kenma would observe by the corner of his eye and make a sour expression

Even when drowned in his game, Kenma would notice any difference at all with them

There would be times when he would give the faintest of smiles when watching them from afar

And then his face would go back to a stoic one and he’ll continue on with his game

Kuroo got frustrated watching from the side

“Do you plan on confessing?”

“… No…?”

“Why not? Don’t you want to be their boyfriend?”

“… I don’t know…”

The more Kuroo tried to get Kenma to do something about it, the more frustrated he became

So he decided to take things into his own hands

Yaku would keep telling him not to meddle

But this was Kuroo

Since their childhood friend was free, Kuroo invited them to help out in the training camp

He then proceeded to keep leaving they and Kenma alone together

“Good luck, Kenma.”

“Kuroo, you—“

And then Kuroo would run off

Their childhood friend was quite shy, so Kenma spent time with them on his own (it was too much trouble to try to get them comfortable with the rest of his teammates)

Kenma was then spending almost all his free time of that training camp with his childhood friend  

He was 50% enjoying and 50% burning Kuroo in a furnace

After dinner, Kuroo left them alone again while cleaning up

They sat together at a table wiping off the dishes

He was already planning Kuroo’s funeral when he noticed his childhood friend was a bit unsettled

“What’s wrong?”

His childhood friend gets started, jumping a little

“Um!”

They take awhile to collect themselves

“I… I might have something to tell you.”

Kenma lifts a brow at them

“… What is it?”

He couldn’t tell at all what this could be

They take a deep breath and turn back to Kenma

“Kenma!”

“Yes?”

“I… I like you.”

Their voice going significantly quieter near the end of that sentence

Kenma’s eyes widen at them

His heart basically stopped, but he told himself to stop and think first

“Did…”

“Did??”

“Did Kuroo set you up to this…?”

“What are you talking about?”

Their face was absolutely red and Kenma could tell that they were putting a lot of effort just to look at them

It took awhile for him to accept, but they were completely serious

He turns away quickly to hide his face, already unsure of what kind of expression was on his face

“Kenma?”

Kenma stayed silent for awhile

No strategy was coming to mind on how to get through this boss level

“I’m sorry for saying something weird! I’ll not bother you any further for tonight.”

They stand up from their seat and turn to walk away when Kenma grabs their wrist

“… Wait.”

He lets out a loud sigh which startles his childhood friend

He then turns to face them, but he still couldn’t get himself to look them in the eye

“Listen.”

His face crumples into a very interesting one

“I have something to say to you too.”

[downeystarkjr]

ALREADY GONE - Captain Swan AU - CHAPTER 9

Emma Swan was never one to believe in ghosts or in any superstitions of the kind. However, her beliefs are soon to be tested when she moves into the beautiful yet mysterious Jewel Cottage. The manor known to be the home haunted by Captain Killian Jones.

The story can also be read on AO3 here

(This is one of the two stories I was working on for the Captain Swan Big Bang 2017 - it’s still a WIP but I have quite a few chapters complete that I really wanted to share)

(PS. Thank you to @ab-normality for your priceless help in being my beta for this story so far!)

Other chapters found here: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Chapter 9 

“Buckley sure does love his walks doesn’t he?” Emma laughed, laughing more when the adorable canine barked as if in agreement to her words. “And he’s playful too, aren’t you a bundle of energy little fella?” she asked the dog sweetly, showing Buckley the ball she bought him from town when she was exploring Storybrooke with Ruby before her best friend had to leave.

The dog grew all the more excited and panted happily in anticipation. He watched Emma’s hand moving in front of him as she held onto the ball, waiting for her to throw it. “Go and get it buddy!” she encouraged and finally threw the ball and without a moment’s hesitation, Buckley ran over to chase after the ball.

“Aye and he’s loyal too” Killian nodded and glanced over to watch Emma interact with his pet dog as they walked down the field behind Jewel Cottage. It made the ghost smile to see how loving Emma was with Buckley and how the canine reciprocated Emma’s kindness by giving her his trust. “I don’t think I told you this before love, but I found Buckley when he was a stray puppy trying to seek shelter in the middle of a snow fall. I couldn’t allow him to freeze to his death and he’s been living with me ever since,” he admitted and chuckled when Buckley returned to them, placing the ball by Emma’s feet as his way of telling her that he wanted Emma to throw it again.

Emma was touched to hear Killian open up to her about how he came to meet Buckley. There was something she loved about how the Captain raised the dog alone despite being a spirit. He may be smug and flirtatious but with how kind Killian was with his beloved canine companion, Emma suspected there was more to his character than he was letting on.

Though Emma didn’t pick up on it, Killian was warming to having Emma around. He glanced round to Emma while she paid attention to a rather excited Buckley as he walked a small distance ahead of them. Since the departure of his friend James Barrie, Killian didn’t like having another human keeping him company on his strolls, that was until he crossed paths with Emma.

“She just had to be another author, what are the chances?”  

Killian thought to himself with a silent chuckle, giving another glance towards the new inhabitant of his home. With anyone else who dared to show any interest in moving into his home, he would have been sickened at the thought of them joining him. Especially not down the route the three of them were walking down that afternoon.

“Something funny Killian?” Emma asked and quirked an eyebrow when she noticed the apparition chuckling. Her tone wasn’t intimidating but curious.

“No Swan, I’m just enjoying the company,” Killian assured, sincerely giving Emma a compliment before looking ahead again. He found himself quite glad that he accepted the American in his home. The ghost usually despised the company of other people, however with Emma, Killian couldn’t deny that he didn’t feel so lonely now that she was around. In fact, due to what he knew about Emma, the Captain felt it his responsibility to look out for her. “Heed caution here love, the terrain turns rough when we divert from the path,” Killian advised. “I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

Emma had not expected Killian to give her such a compliment and was unable to stop the faint blush appearing on her cheeks. “The feeling’s mutual Captain,” she smiled and nodded in acknowledgement to her new friend’s advice, oblivious as to the reason why Killian was so concerned about her safety. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, where are we going? Or are we headed to nowhere in particular and just enjoying the lovely warm spring afternoon?” she questioned.

Emma didn’t have any qualms against having no destination in mind for their walk, it gave her a chance to take in just how beautiful the fields near her home truly were. What made it all the more perfect was that she could still hear the distant sound of the ocean. Emma could imagine herself working on her writing out there in the peaceful countryside. There was nothing like this back in America, it was wonderful.

“Actually Swan, I was intending on paying a visit to an area nearby, we’re almost there,” Killian corrected calmly, keeping an eye on his companion to make sure she didn’t trip over the stones on the bumpy surface. “I’ve never brought anyone here before, but I trust you,” he revealed, whistling to Buckley to distract the dog from chasing after a butterfly that had caught his attention.

“Oh..?” Emma was surprised by how welcoming Killian was after being so adamant to keep humans away. He had told her glimpses of his life such as his wife, his friendship with the author of Peter Pan and now here he was taking Emma somewhere that held some personal importance for the ghost. “Well then lead the way… but thank you Killian, you didn’t have to let me join you today and I appreciate it,” she smiled, wanting Killian to know she was grateful for allowing her to move in instead of trying everything he could to rid her from Jewel Cottage. She never should have made such a rash judgement of Killian the night they shared their first conversation. He was kinder than he initially seemed.

“Aye,” Killian replied simply and stayed quiet for a few moments until they arrived their destination. Buckley stopping by the Captain’s feet with a sad whine that was comforted when Killian petted his head gently. “It’s alright my boy, don’t worry,” Killian assured and checked that Emma was alright too, encouraging her to sit down on the grass. He didn’t want her to be exhausted from the trek in her condition.

“Killian I’m fine, I don’t need to rest, really,” Emma insisted, passing Killian’s offer as being his attempt to prove to her that he was a gentleman. “So what is this place?” she asked, slowly beginning to develop some idea where they were when she noticed the small group of similar looking stones dug into the ground.

“Wait..” Emma uttered, her green gaze watching over Killian as he moved over to crouch in front of one of the stones. One of the graves. The grave of his late wife. She stepped closer, staying quiet to avoid upsetting Killian further when she noticed the mournful look in his eyes.

“It’s alright to talk about it Swan, they have been dead longer than I’ve been a ghost,” Killian spoke out to break the silence. “These fields are part of the Jones Estate, my grandparents, my parents, my brother and my Milah are all buried here.”

Emma felt a pang in her heart towards Killian when he said that, understanding the reason why that area was so meaningful to him. She couldn’t help but feel like she was intruding despite Killian having agreed to let her join him on the walk. This was a personal moment for him.

“You must find it difficult being here…instead of having them around..” Emma mused with sympathy for the Captain. It would be heart-breaking for her to be in Killian’s situation, to be a ghost without family and having only the graves as a reminder of the loved ones he lost long ago. Emma did often wonder why Killian was a ghost while none of his family had the chance to be an apparition. What was keeping him here? Surely, the answer had to be more than just his worry for his beloved Jewel Cottage. How was she going to get him to open up to him when Killian insisted his death was purely accidental?

“Actually love, this helps me feel closer to them, even before I died I would come down here to visit my family,” Killian corrected, seeing Emma glance over to the grave beside his late wife’s. “Anya was my mother, she was the sweetest woman I knew. You would have liked her, she had a love for reading and wrote a few short stories of her own, alas they never got published but the stories she came up with provided my brother and I with entertainment as children,” he chuckled. Killian recalled how his mother tried to get some of her writing published but to no success. Which sadly was quite common for female writers while Killian was growing up. “I must have inherited my adoration of the ocean from her. It was being so close to the ocean that made my mother love this town so much.”

“I have to agree with your mom, Storybrooke is the perfect place to live,” Emma smiled. She honestly couldn’t wait to start work at the school, it would give her the chance to get to know more of the people in town. Although, she was also looking forward to getting to know Killian more, she was intrigued by his past and wished she could help him. It was clear how he still dearly missed his family.

“Aye? Do you think so? I suppose you’re right, there is a certain air about this town,” Killian nodded with a heavy sigh but shook his head to drag himself out of his thoughts where he was recalling the happier times with his wife.

“Yeah, despite the presence of modern technology, being here is like taking a trip back in time,” Emma replied, making sure that Buckley wasn’t roaming too far from them.

“Oh you should have seen Storybrooke in my time. It was glorious,” Killian pointed out. “As much as I enjoyed my time out at sea, I always did love being welcomed back home after spending months out on the ocean.”

Emma didn’t think that Killian ever spoke about his time at sea. She was reminded that he was indeed a Captain of the Royal Navy. He must have seen a lot of the world during the voyages he captained. Emma wondered what Killian did experience out on the high seas, what sort of ship he sailed and what the ventures were like. She knew the Navy of the modern day was considerably different to how it was back when Killian was still alive. How did his Navy career end? Was it because of losing his left hand? Did he lose his hand as part of an incident while being in the Navy?

The American was going to reply before noticing that Killian’s attention had returned to the gravestones before him. Emma saw the mournful look in his ocean blue eyes, Killian really was a man who had lost everyone he loved and cared for, Jewel Cottage was all he had left. However, again the same question entered her thoughts, what was keeping Killian here? Why was he being stopped from moving on?

Judging by the dates written on the graves, Emma could guess who was Killian’s brother and who were his parents. There were also a few graves that caught her eye, mainly because the dates meant those buried beneath the headstones must have died as infants or children. Were they perhaps the children of Liam? The older Jones sibling? Emma didn’t think they were Killian’s children. Never did he mention them or give any indication that he was a father, although Emma knew Killian had been a married man.

To avoid offending Killian by disturbing him during such a deeply personal moment by Milah’s grave, Emma stood up, slowly stepping away to give him some privacy. “What are you doing there Buckley? Huh? Buddy?” Emma asked Buckley sweetly, moving over to him when she heard the canine whining as he lay on a patch of ground in front of a stone that had been overgrown with plants and moss. It was clear that it was another grave, though less cared for than the others.

Carefully, Emma knelt down and moved some of the foliage from the headstone to see what was engraved on it. If she turned round as she did so, Emma would have noticed Killian realising her interest in the grave. The ghost stood up in silence, walking over to Emma but kept a distance between them. There was a reason why he didn’t care for that grave, Killian didn’t like the reminder of it.

When she managed to clear enough of the plants, Emma traced her fingers across the name written on the stone. Captain Killian Jones.

Emma was at a loss for words, she shouldn’t have been so surprised but with the presence of Killian still remaining, it didn’t really occur to her that of course Killian would have had a grave. Why was it so unkempt? Emma was confused and intended to question the apparition about his grave but grew startled to see Killian towering over her, causing her to jump with a hand against her chest. There was something eerie about the way he had just crept up behind her and looking at her instead of at his own grave.

“I’m sorry Killian I…I didn’t mean to pry, Buckley was whining and I wanted-…” she began to apologise before the Captain raised a hand in reassurance.

“You weren’t to know love,” Killian shook his head and stepped away from the grave, not wanting to be near where his body was buried. “But I’d appreciate it if you could now leave my grave well alone,” he insisted, not wanting to converse about his body’s resting place.

However, Emma had other ideas. “You’ve kept the graves of your family in such a good condition, but not yours..”

“Is there a point to that rather odd observation?”

“Killian why?” Emma asked, still insistent that Killian talk to him instead of trying to avoid the issues that bothered him. “It’s as if you’re trying to hide the fact your grave even exists,” she stated with furrowed eyebrows.

“Why would I want to acknowledge it Swan?” Killian countered, reluctantly opening up due to Emma’s persistence. “A grave is supposed to be where someone is bloody well laid to rest. However, unlike the rest of my family, I’m still here. Being a ghost isn’t exactly restful.” He knew what was keeping him from moving on but there was nothing he could do about it.

Emma’s expression held an emotion of sympathy for Killian and gently bit her lip in thought. “Tell me what happened,” she requested kindly, looking up into Killian’s eyes. Emma wasn’t an idiot, she knew the ghost lied to her about the cause of his death. “It wasn’t the gas heater that claimed your life was it…? Killian please, let me try to help you.”

It was at her words that caused Killian’s own words to be choked up in his throat. He took a moment to compose himself and fight off the threatening tears before they fell. “My death was far more violent than I originally implied. I intended on bringing an evil man to justice, risking my life in the process,” he explained, a tinge of anger in his tone. “It didn’t turn out the way I hoped and in the end, I paid the price while he and his descendants continued to get away with their crimes.”

“Is that why you’re still here after all these years?” Emma asked. She had no idea who was responsible for Killian’s death or that the ‘evil’ man’s family were still connected to the town of Storybrooke. “Because you have unfinished business here that you can’t resolve? What can I do to help you?”

“Why love? Am I such dreary company that you want the manor to yourself?” Killian chuckled to hide his unease. He was unsure if he actually wanted to move on if given the chance, the Captain had grown quite used to living as a ghost. And now he had met Emma. For the first time in quite a few too many years, Killian was enjoying the presence of another person. He liked having Emma around and wanted to get to know her. But Killian was a ghost, how could he expect the woman to become close with him.

“Killian come on,” Emma sighed, trying to show Killian that she really wanted to help in any way she could.

The Captain did doubt if he would be willing to move on. However, if he did accept Emma’s offer, perhaps his heart could be put at ease knowing justice was done. It was about time those who wronged him and so many other innocent souls paid for their misdeeds.

“Swan there might be a way, for you to help me,” Killian finally replied with an answer Emma was hoping for. It couldn’t have been a coincidence that Emma was a writer. No one else could have helped him since other people were either too naïve to welcome the thought that ghosts were real or too afraid of the ghost that haunted Jewel Cottage. “You’re an author are you not, love? One that lives in a haunted manor that everyone does their best to avoid,” the Captain began, gaining Emma’s curiosity. “I provided you with the perfect inspiration for your next writing endeavour. Me.”

“You want me to write a story inspired by you?” Emma asked feeling a little confused. How was that going to help with Killian’s unfinished business?

That where Killian had more knowledge on the matter. He was aware of the impact the written word could have, especially one written in truth. “On the contrary my lady, I was hoping you’d write a story about me,” he corrected. “My memoirs to be exact.”

Tagging a few users who might like the story. I’d love to know what you think! @yayimallamaagain @phiralovesloki @lenfaz @flipperbrain @cocohook38@hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @xhookswenchx @teamhook @resident-of-storybrooke @fairytalesandtimetravel @aye-captn @wellhellotragic @sambethe @goldengirlschildhood @sherlockianwhovian @captainswanbigbang @themilahskillybear @the-corsair-and-her-quill 

[peachybeancinema]

Pre-Production

After our last pitch to the panel for the last trimester, we had that time and the quick break before a new trimester to collect props, ensure we had the air bnb and try to find a new production designer. I had originally wanted colourful paediatric scrubs made by a designer friend but that fell through at the last minute, but the saving grace was the new production designer.

While the editor asked me for some more inspiration, he also had to figure out what computer/system he would bring to set for data wrangling on the shoot. Meanwhile the assistant editor was pretty excited for some colour grading ideas- as that was the original plan for colour grading- this job was later handed to our DOP.

Our first production designer very much fell through- with only a small handful of props to dress the ENTIRE set- but also came into contact with positive covid cases and quarantined. The role ended up falling onto Darryl and myself- Darryl got our scrubs sorted and took custody of the old set dressing, while I planned to take down half of my own home decorations for the set.

We ran a few makeup and camera tests which obviously helped the makeup artist understand what I was looking for and got to explain that the makeup should be done in layers to show time passing, while our DOP and camera assistant got to work on using the dolly and trialled green screen and special effects to wrinkle out any kinks that could’ve come with the time sped up sequence- this camera/editing practice also meant that when on the actual set without a green screen, a solution was found instantly.

Reflecting back, some things I would like to have done differently (whether stunted by covid OR human error) would have been more one on one sessions with the actors throughout the weeks. In past films I have met up multiple times and got to know them, how they work, they hear my vision or we develop a vision together for scenes, but that unfortunately did not take place and I feel like for time reasons on the shoot days, we suffered for that. I would have also liked to have been able to give Alexis’ character that bit more personality and colour by having her scrubs handmade like originally planned, however as the friend who also had other commissions and a breakup afoot, we missed that opportunity but I would have really liked to see how that changed the overall tone.

Production

The shoot went over two days, an entire day left to pack up and put the house back to how we found it. The first day after setting up felt it ran a little rough as we all tried to fall into our roles, environment and establish our safety rules, and I felt like my anxiety and self doubt was betraying me those first hours. We had to set up fairy lights, had an Arsenal or blankets going, a smoke machine to set up and glass bottles laying all over the table. Darryl was incredible with setting up fast and listening to where I wanted props and decorations, which was a relief after the failed production designer.

Eventually a rhythm was found and things began to run a lot smoother, the first AD would tell us there was plenty of time but I know myself and my producer didn’t want to get too comfortable with the ‘plenty of time’.

I felt like despite not getting nearly any time to get to know my actors before the shoot, I managed to build a comfortable setting to where we could all laugh and joke, and I had repeated check in conversations with our actress about her comfortability in scenes where our actor would make contact with her. We breaked for food (made and brought in by our wonderful producer’s even more lovely mother), found out the air bnb had birdseed for the fancy birds begging on the porch during our takes, resumed and wrapped for the day.

Here comes the regrets… staying up watching Final Destination and Bo Burnham’s new special as a crew, and allowing me to dance around a crowded floor at night. I ended up falling backwards and spraining my wrist in the process- a little fall that landed me in the ER nearby set at 6am- BUT that did not stop me, and the show went on. No sleep that whole night after the first day of shooting was torture, and the pain was the only thing keeping my eyes wide open. I was back to set before most were even awake and then we continued.

The second day had more hiccups than the first, and there was vital information about a scene that was missing a vital piece of equipment, and wasn’t told until right before the take. It threw me off, I felt undermined and stupid because without that information I couldn’t tell my actors what was happening for the scene, so it ended with a slightly warm conversation outside among the head of departments. It was sorted, the first AD directed one scene as I collected my pathetic self together and then the rest of the shoot went ahead.

While the makeup artist did take longer than she and we had anticipated for every makeup touch up, I was ultimately so chuffed with how the makeup appeared on screen.

Post-Production

The post production for this film has been the most challenging and irritable I have ever experienced- from covid restrictions stopping director/editor sessions, to the mental health issues nearly everyone on the crew suffered from at one point or another. I feel like the film's final result could have been far sleeker and chilling had our time been used in the ways we wanted to. However, despite the challenges and all the ‘boo-hoo regrets’, I’m incredibly proud of my crew and the result regardless. I think it’s impossible for me to not be cruel about my own film that I wrote and directed, but it is definitely not a reflection on how my team worked or what they produced- only on my own inward cruelty.

I am mainly dissatisfied with the lack of that cgi fly that I kept in the script till the end. I wish covid and travelling hadn’t stopped editing suit sessions, and while I appreciate every pixelated and muffled zoom session to get those edits done, they lacked what we really needed. Considering covid will probably be around for a very very long time to come, learning how to communicate articulately and concisely in online edits would be a great value to me.

I felt like communication with the sound department was really great and fluid at the start and in production, but towards the end of our post-production communication really started to slide. I had been dealing with a hard family issue and know that I lost communication from peers, teachers and friends for just over a week, and when I returned I found my messages going unread by the head of my sound department. These times have been really dark and debilitating for so many, and I find with this trimester and the last, it’s nearly impossible to hold people to blame for a falter in a task.

This film was my baby- my last hoorah from uni, and I do really love it, but I think had the sun been shining on the world a little kinder of late, then maybe it could have been- or will be- the film I’ve dreamed.

Reflecting back as well, I wish that I had reached out more to those crew members suffering from mental health issues to help redistribute some of the work way earlier on, rather than having faith that it was getting done but they just couldn’t summon messaging back to update.

In the near future, I’d like to see this in festivals- or even just have a festival plan, which means I would like to work on it further in the future. I think more cgi and colour grading is needed- a new title screen and intro credits, a darker tone to the overall sound- VIDEO GAMES HAVE MUSIC- it’s essentially his perspective as soon as she walks down the stairs, there would be a low deep rumble from menu and background music while in player, and I know I had said that before- referencing Ari Asters work with sound. This film feels like it’s on the brink of being what I dreamed it- it just needed more time and a stronger hand. I plan on taking a break before commencing my last elective for uni, and I am hoping that while I take this time to focus on myself, I can finally be calm and with no time restraints to make a plan for all the tiny pieces to add to this film before reaching out to old classmates, new friends, etc.