#but fuck those asks made me think
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got some stp questions for you!
10. (Explore) What's your favorite Vessel-Voice dynamic?
23. (Explore) Any first impressions regarding [Character]? How about now?
10. (Explore) What's your favorite Vessel-Voice dynamic? From what little I saw of it (wasn't able to do an extensive look through it due to getting physically sick from the "being eaten alive' part which basically left me unable to get through it), I really enjoy the dynamic between The Hunted and The Beast, or more accurately The Den when I ended up getting her. Since The Den is incapable of talking, completely becoming more animal than human, I'm going to focus primarily on The Voice of The Hunted then circle back around to both of them as a dynamic. Even though he's more instinct-based than many of the other voices, I liked how perceptive he was, such as when he realized that our eyes were deceiving us with the mirror because we can feel the wind coming up from where it should be; hell, he ever realizes that it doesn't belong in the world period, and that it's seeped in from "somewhere else"; I personally think he's one of the smartest voices in the whole game (only falling close behind The Paranoid in my eyes. Paranoid's my ride or die). Now put him up with The Den, and you'd get what you would think is a pretty clear-cut chase of predator vs prey. And although it is like that for some of The Den's route, it's the humanity he has towards the Den if you manage to trap her in the tunnel that make their dynamic so interesting to me. In nature if the predator was caught during a hunt, the prey would just keep running and not spare a second glance, but not The Hunted. He actively wants to help The Den, even after being so determined to keep us alive. This isn't an action that one would think to lead to a good ending: if we simply perceive The Den as "predator" and "animal", then the next logical conclusion would be that even if trapped, if her prey comes close enough she would still kill and devour us. But when The Player reaches out their hand towards her, both The Hunted and The Den have manage to overcome their instincts to flee and kill respectively. Despite their very nature, their very instincts, they manage to work together and free themselves from both their literal and figurative confines. And I think that's fucking beautiful.
23. (Explore) Any first impressions regarding [Character]? How about now? I'm assuming this is a "take your pick" question, so I'll go with the opinion of a character that's changed the most since The Pristine Cut came out, which is The Apotheosis. I honestly found her route to be pretty "meh" the first time I got it, which is expected since her route was so short. That being said, even though The Fury was just as short, it kinda made sense to me as to why it was so short: I got The Fury from The Tower and personally it made perfect sense that it would be so quick to end because of the rage she held toward the Player during The Tower's death; a wrathful god wouldn't bother with such trivial things as talk when there's a heretic to be slain. But with The Apotheosis, the original abrupt ending definitely felt like there needed to be more to it, because without the extension of her route she just felt sort've blank and boring. What really got me to change my mind on her was where you take your place at her side as she tries to fulfill her destiny, but Shifty catches her. To see one of the most powerful versions of The Princess so fucking scared as she's being taken hit harder than I expected, and when she lifted the Player up to spare us, the one she initially viewed as being worthless in comparison to her in a last-ditch attempt, my opinion on The Apotheosis changed immediately. In all honesty, that particular ending has become one of my favorite's in the entire game, not just because of how surprisingly emotional it was, but for also completely subverting my previous expectations on The Apotheosis and turning her into a Vessel I actually cared about.
#sorry for the long rant#but fuck those asks made me think#thank you so much for the asks it was a lot of fun to think and reflect on them#god I love Slay the Princess#asks#answered asks
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OOOOOO CAN I ASK HOW WOULD THE N2 SQUAD REACT TO EACH OF THEM DYING?
What have you unleashed?
(WARNING: Angst, allusions to death, all that fun stuff. Nothing graphic tho, don't worry)
Jamil
He shouldn’t be surprised.
Well… He isn't surprised. Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things. Not for more than a few months, anyway.
Every once in a while, life takes pity on him and throws some nice, agreeable news his way. Just enough so that he lets his guard down. Just enough so that he allows himself to think maybe things will get better. Just enough so that he can pretend he isn't chained to a fate he will never escape.
A letter to NRC, a plan that goes a little too well, a couple of upperclassmen who seem to genuinely love him for who he is and not who he pretends to be.
So of course it doesn't last. Life gives and life takes.
Kalim follows, Octavinelle gets involved, Leona and Vil-
Well…
He isn't surprised.
Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things.
Vil
They look at him like they expect something from him. Horror, anger, ugly tears maybe. Just a reaction. Anything. Anything at all.
Vil doesn't give them that. Doesn't give them an opportunity to pity him. Doesn't give them food for gossip. Doesn't give them any material to make this topic last for any longer than it has to.
He knows how it works. Someone snaps a pic of him at his lowest, someone records his voice breaking during an interview, someone catches his lips tremble for but a second, and everybody will start talking about it again. And again. And again. For as long as there is a reaction from him. For as long as the topic attracts views.
Suffering brings more views than success.
So Vil doesn't react. Doesn't say a thing. Doesn't acknowledge the topic.
Better to be a cold asshole for a few weeks than to hear about it for years.
And in the darkness of his own room, where there is no camera, no eyes, and no ears to witness his grief-
Vil cries himself to sleep.
Leona
It’s just sand.
Only sand.
For miles and miles, further than the eye can see, nothing but sand.
Ruggie had the clever foresight to send all of Savanaclaw packing when Leona got the news. They would be sand too otherwise.
Who cares.
Who fucking cares.
He could turn the whole world to sand and it wouldn't be enough.
He might as well turn his own heart into sand.
It would hurt less.
#are you a masochist Anon?#or do you want others to suffer lol?#those are short but I think they convey enough#I have a lot of thoughts for Vil's reaction tho#like I imagine Jamil would be defeated and lose all warmth#and I imagine Leona would either go full depression or destructive anger#but VIL-#can you imagine how shitty it must be to have everybody's gaze on you when you're trying to mourn?#how that'd be the only topic you would find online about yourself for weeks?#we all know Vil is obsessed with how he's perceived by others and he'd definitely check his own name just as much as Neige's popularity#so Vil looks up his name and sees those fucking news again and again and again#and it just opens his wounds again and again and again#and his only way out is to pretend he doesn't care#and so he keeps everything to himself#uses his acting talent to pretend he isn't as affected as he is#and only when he is alone does he let himself break down#anyway those all would be long enough into dating that they are serious about each other and that it'd be known that Vil is dating#but not long enough for them to have made their own life with this relationship#just a tease from life#because Jamil is a tragedy and a half and I had to play with that :3#twisted wonderland#n2 squad#leojami#leovil#javil#ask me anything#jamil viper#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#twst fic
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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sydney is too young for carmy. its grooming tbh very weird of carm to look at syd that way when she's his mentee and looks up to him. disgusting that creeps like u ship it
We don't have a canon age for Sydney or Carmy so I'm going off their actors' ages.
A four year difference is too much for you?? Lol. This isn't grooming and realistically most relationships can have this dynamic. Anon I invite you to the real world where rarely you will find people who date are on the exact same level (please don't come at me with this "power imbalance" shit too lol)
Also if you think I'm a creep I don't really care. Being an adult means I can do what I want without caring about randoms on the internet think of me.
A lot of you also use purity culture/false virtuosity to bully people, too; don't think I don't notice how you're subtly trying to equate this to actual pedophilia. Genuinely, you do a disservice to actual issues when you pull this shit.
#this also isnt even my worst ship in terms of age gap#you do you#but just let me do me lol#the bear fx#ask#anon#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney x carmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto#ngl something very catholic about the way anons come in here harping about this#like why can you not just let people do what they want#the internet has made some of you so relentlessly nosy#its not enough to ship and let ship#now it's 'youre morally a bad person and you should feel bad!!'#what if i like the fact that sydney is his mentee?? oh noo what then??#fuck yall lol everything has to be so boring and sanitized and not real#like i think most of these askers are young and never experienced real life romance#so they think everything must be a perfect fairytale or its problematic#no babe the oddities are what keep it interesting#this is almost as bad as those people who say sydney x richie is a father daughter ship
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o wait before i start posting any pics.. i was thinking that maybe.. you guys could help me liquify this gender some more by switching up what you call me.... DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE . LOVE LOVE LOVE WHEN YOU USE HE/HIM AND JUST OVERALL LIKE MORE MASC STUFF THAT'S SOOO MMMMMMMMMSO FUCKING GOOD like i don't get to feel that irl at all so it really does make me so happy but i've just been thinking abt TRYING to switch it up more yk? does this even make sense...... . hhhh anyway i might won't even like it and i'll want to just go back to hehim but i wanna try... JUST TO SWITCH IT UP.
#i think the only term that is incredibly questionable is “queen” lmao#idk i have some personal beef with that one#MAN I REALLY MIGHT JUST DELETE THIS IN LIKE FIVE MINUTES#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#WHY DON'T I KNOW WHAT I WANT#i'm not asking you to fully drop the he him but just maybe.. use she her every once in a while..#I'M GONNA EXPLODE WHY IS THIS THE WEIRDEST POST EVER TO MAKE WHAT IS GENDER CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME#btw if anybody happens to be wondering why i don't just use they/them#iii just don't feel anything towards those#personally#like they don't make me feel like anything while he him and she her are more like yes:3333#does.. does that even make sense#oh my god#there are question marks flying around my head#i read this fic the other day#which is in my drafts i need to add tags to it#but the op just.. like made my brain grow two sizes#bc they made the reader genderfluid and then proceeded to use both “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” throughout the fic and i just#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#how do i .. get that#asghdhsaghdasghdshagdhgas#GUYS LOOK I'M GONNA SPIRAL I'M JUST GONNA HIT POST#ENOUGH#mayor of loserville#mickey vs gender#10 - 17#I'M LOSING AGAIN OHHH FUCK OFF
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Your ‘hate wins’ Butch and lone survivor art eclipses my thoughts often, I love seeing ur fallout oc’s please talk more about John whenever you have the chance, his positive swag and earnest whimsy have me enraptured. hoping you have a good day 🙏🏼
hello anon sorry for leavin this in my inbox for so long, for some reason i have been PHYSICALLY UNABLE to draw my ocs for the past couple of weeks- i think i got over it though. here are some johns and also a little of my other fo ocs... just 4 u.
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fallout 3#fnv#fo3#fallout oc#ghoul oc#arcade gannon#butch deloria#ALSO THANK YOU ANONNNN ive been thinking about this ask you are so sweet its so nice to know people give a fuck about my creatures.#drawin those chibis... made me realize i really favor the right side when making my designs asymmetrical.#also that my designs are pretty similar when you think about it. oh well!#drawing ghouls is fun i need to do it more often#sry this post is approx FIVE MILES long#oc: happy smiler#oc: john vaultman#oc: lump#oc: skull crusha#symphonart#ask
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Joked about Adam being divorced one too many times that now I'm getting anti-divorce ads
Adam think of the children... Please...
#the context for this image is deep#basically i saw a tumblr sexyman quiz#like one of those mary sue quizzes#and i told my readers in my discord server#adam and steve each scored 30 points#guess which points they scored#and when it was getting down to the last like 3 they were struggling so hard to figure out which ones applied#and someone asked me 'does adam coint as divorced?'#and it made me absolutely lose it#so funny to think of his horrifying situation as divorce...#anyways#uh.#idk why the fuck this ad was on my blog#fuck you#divorce is such a hard thing to go through especially when you gave kids#and the children are always kept in mind. obviously.#the divorce is often BENEFITTING the children#by getting them out of a terrible situation#all my friends who have divorced parents. which. now that i think about it is a lot...#think jts a good thing their parents separated#like#do not stay together for the kids#thats not healthy for you or them...#plus then youre just putting your children at the center of your romantic relationship#and putting an extreme amount of pressure on them#to think its their job to keep you together#horrifying ad#text post#shitpost#not art
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This might be controversial to some, but you cannot "tough love" your way to preventing suicide. You cannot have the attitude that people who complete suicide are selfish or are ungrateful or immature. If your mindset about suicide isn't coming from compassion rather than judgment, it won't help suicidal people. You will never help us with a slap on the wrist and a lecture about how we're awful for even thinking about completing suicide.
Suicide intervention starts with compassion and care.
#mental health#mental health advocacy#suicide#suicide tw#suicide mention tw#death tw#ask to tag (genuine)#since i have a foreboding feeling about this: please do not clown on this post thank you#my dad and i had a discussion about this and some of his stories made me sick...#...like he took a course on assisting and intervening those who are about to or are thinking of completing suicide...#...and they asked everybody in the class what they thought about suicide...#...and he said SO many people were saying how awful and selfish it was and holy fuck i was so angry hearing that...#...and i'm glad he talked about how he said his answer was that he can't say if it's bad or not...#i tried to include as many tags as i could but let me know if there are any i ought to include#genuinely i despise the way a lot of people talk about this subject. makes me sick to my stomach#i feel déjà vu writing about this so i may well have made a post like this. oh well though. too important to me
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Hey there, are you ok?
hey! thank you for checking up on me, this was really sweet!
i SWEAR i did not die. i just got a bit busy doing SladeRobin Week (which i will finish so help me god-) as well as things in my real life. i'm still trying to find the balance of like. fandom creation and working. i am very lucky to have the living situation that i do rn, but it is the sort of schedule where i do have to be ready to watch a baby at really any given point so. it's a tricky balance right now, but i'm going to be active here again! maybe not as many asks answered a day as before, but i want to try to answer like, a few a day and whatnot.
i also think i got briefly overwhelmed, in that i got more asks faster than i answered them. which is the opposite of a problem and something i'm very lucky for! but it did make it difficult for me to keep up and know what to answer next. (this is *not* a discouragement to sending asks! i love them all and pls send as many as you want! i just am a little slow sometimes so i appreciate the patience! <3)
so! i'm back and i'm good, ty for asking! we are back to the regularly scheduled programming <3
#necrotic answerings#this was really sweet anon#like not asking for content. just checking in#made me so soft#also when I initially was going to come back there was you know.#the fucking us election.#and I think it's very fucking clear by the everything about me how I feel about that#I needed a few days to just. handle feelings on all that#also also I started a new show. my partner finally convinced me to watch 911.#so i've been thinking about those lil firefighters.#which. I did make a blog for 911.#haven't posted anything yet! but I made it.#bc godDAMNIT the dead dove scene over there is scarce. fandom full of antis Jesus.#I like a challenge tho. I'm bringing the dead dove to the firefighters not even god can stop me on that one.#I have almost 100 asks to work through.#AND I WILL FINISH THE WHUMP ONES I SWEAR ON MY LIFE PLEASE.#I just had a few weeks of adjustment to both my sister and my brother in law working full time again#I love my darling nephew. but I cannot type and play with him at the same time.#taking care of babies is like. easy until it isn't idk how better to explain it#he will sleep for 4 damn hours and I will be peacefully bored#then he wakes up and wants to fight Jesus.#I don't like kidfic but I could write a good one with this experience by now tbh.
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Model Law x Firefighter Luffy x Police Zoro in an au where one of Luffy's co-workers is seriously injured in a fire that later turns out to be linked to another incident from a few months ago and then another and another. Zoro, Luffy's partner whos a cop, tells him to stay out of this, that everything is much deeper than it seems and that it could end very badly for them, Luffy and those around him. But of course Luffy is NOT about to just let it be.
Serial fires that have so far killed more than thirty people and injured hundreds, mainly because one of these fires happened in a factory that exploded and injured and killed not only the workers, but also many passers-by and neighbors, are not something Luffy can just let be. Zoro has little to do but accept that his boyfriend just won't let this go, so the next thing he knows he's sharing with Luffy all the evidence that has been collected so far that points to the Donquixote Group as the biggest suspect of th incidents of 'industrial sabotage'.
Luffy unfortunately can't keep his mouth shut to save his life, so suddenly the whole 'gang' knows about it and, through Nami, they discover a very good chance to collect evidence. Annually the Donquixote Group hosts a charity ball that invites 'the whole' city and by whole city, she means the entire upper class of the city. Luckily for them, her girlfriend, Vivi, can definitely help them get into the ball without a hitch. Then, all they have to do is go through security and get to the president's office and look for possible evidence. Which, in Zoro's opinion, is a terrible plan, but Luffy's terrible ideas usually work out, so they go with it. And it definitely works. Vivi easily takes them to the ball and, in the confusion of Straw Hats causing chaos among the big shots of GrandLine City
Luffy and Zoro slip through security and find their way to the Donquixote group CEO's office and that's where their luck ends. Or not. Not even five minutes after they begin to search the room, the door is opened and a pair of golden eyes stare unimpressed at them. The door is instantly closed, and before long, they hear voices outside, one of them being undoubtedly those of the owner of the room in question, Donquixote Doflamingo. Luffy and Zoro, practically frozen, simply look at the closed door in anxious anticipation as if at any moment Doflamingo would break down the door and set them on fire. He doesn't and soon the voices drift away. After that Luffy and Zoro are quick to continue the search, despite the scare, and unfortunately, they do not find anything of value to the investigation.
They are quick to leave after that, taking with them the straw hats that served as incredible distractions. Back at square one, they meet again at Luffy's house trying to plan their next step. But their little evil-combating meeeting is interrupted by a surprise visitor. Outside the house, standing at the top of the stairs, dressed in expensive clothes and looking fabulous, Trafalgar Law, the super model who is the face of the Donquixote Group all around the globe, the owner of impassive golden eyes, offers a deal.
#now do NOT ask me why doffy didnt lock his office hes dumb(im dumb#anyways omg cop zoro :O#but also omfg top model law :OOOO#zolu gets a new bf at some point dont ask where#zolu#:D#but also#lawlu#lulaw#BUT ALSO FUCKING#zolaw#and most important#zolulaw#i was hearing 'coicidence' by rosse and started thinking about how it could be law#bc everything can be law in my mind#but basically#doffy made law an extremely famous model bc hes pretty as fuck duh are you blind#but doffy is still a piece of shit so law really wants to kick his ass lol#also hes mad that people think he's sleeping his way through fame with doffy#even more angry because doffy NEVER corrected those rumors#he sure made his way to fame because of doffy but it sure wasn't by sleeping with him#I don't blame him#I'd be pissed too if someone said I was sleeping with Doffy#he gross ew#rosi >>>>>>>#anyway now law will join luffy and zoro#and hopefully guide them with better plans that don't involve breaking into offices#which anyone else can get in at any moment#no for real what are they thinking#i dont think they did think at all ngl
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"Why not?"
"I wish you were a girl."
#hughlander#at first i thought of hughie saying the first quote but the more i thought about it the more it made sense for it to be john HEAR ME OUT..#he was obviously trained to only enjoy the whole “american dream” so ofc that picture perfect look for him would be a woman next to him#while he himself is a piece of shit and cares only about his image he also just doesnt give a shit#(based on his behavior l8r on in the show) he also just doesnt care what anyone has to say especially since in his eyes he is THE strongest#no one can say anything to him and hes untouchable..which is why his odd obsession with hughie will prove to be zero issue#and while he tries to make a connection with hughie in his own overly possesive way hughie holds himself firm with his actions#(lowkey where things gets ooc oh well idc) homelander does try and make SOME sort of attempt in picking at his brain anf at hughie as to#figure out WHY he even is interested in “that loser” and in doing so he eventually finds that hughie for whatever stupid reason#notices that he GENUINELY does care about people and that its not some front like he really does and TRY to see some good in people#so john opens up slightly to him about what people at vought did to him as a kid and its those moments where homelander tries to make it-#light buy hughie looks at him and i mean really /looks/ at him and says “jesus thats fucked Im sorry” and john is absolutely dumbfounded#like so dumbfounded and the god honest yet short comment in regards to him opening up about his past#essentially john starts to feel what he always imagined what “feelings” are supposed to be and after a long time of him and hughie oddly#finding some sort of “middle ground” he tries to pull a move in a moment of odd peace amongst the two and hughie jerks back#john is so confused and i mean REALLY confused#he thought he read all those “signals” right based on the romantic films he was forced to watch why is hughie acting like this?#he doesnt want to even think about what this pain in his chest is and all he can ask is “why not?”
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You got the mural job, that's amazing news =D
THANK YOU!!! i've haven't quite done anythin like this before BUT i have enough experience from other projects to where it's not a super super daunting thing. like yeah it's Big and that'll have it's challenges but i'm excited !! :>
i don't know if i can show my proposal sketch off else i'd put it here but i will certainly show the finished mural off here once it's done >:3
#asks#clubsheartsspades#it also helps that i will be paid. several thousand dollars for this job. now part of that is to cover supplies bc it's. FUcking Big but#definitely the biggest job i have had so far size and paycheck wise dhglkdhfgl#i wouldn't call it weird exactly but i'm at an interesting place in my career as an artist bc i feel as if i should have found a specialty#by now. and by no means is it a bad thing that i haven't bc i love working on a huge variety of projects and i learn a lot from all of them#but for me it's like#i'm a freelance illustrator. i'm an art teacher. i do public art. i run an online shop. i do comics in my free time. every now and again i#exhibit in physical galleries#i do digital art but i'm also a traditional artist#'mintt why are you like this' i'm insane and i don't realize it until i write out everything i do like. oh. huh.#i don't mind doing any and all of that it's fun and there is an inherent cohesion to my work regardless bc i made it#but a lot of the artists i follow. especially the handful of professional artists i know irl do like. one or two of those things bc that's#their specialty. and idk if i have that career specialty yet. i Certainly have my specialties irt subjects#i think there's something to be said though about me seeking out more local opportunities than anything bc i don't feel like i quite have#the portfolio yet to be really noticed when applying for Big Things out of state and whatnot#at least with my more traditional work digital stuff is different#i am thoroughly rambling now sdhgklhflg
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zavijava info PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! PLEASEEEEE ZAVIJAVA COME HOME ... PLEASE .... umm um um ill tell you about umm . tma au im making for nastya if u tell me about her .PLEASE!!!!!!!
so she is definitely a star of some kind. i mean she is an angel but in that story in particular The Stars are kind of angels. like they’re otherworldly beings and they jus kinda hang out. cosmically. it’s a different dimension separated from the human one but like, obviously stars still exist for humans, they just don’t do anything crazy because the rules of the world dictate that their realities shouldn’t interact. angels can observe the other world from far up above yet they still exist on a different level. But tbh zavijava had never enjoyed the otherworldly ethereal whatever lifestyle—she just didn’t feel like she fit in there. she is a #1 humans fan though so she knows that’s where she’d fit in. so she does just that. she fits in perfectly :) and normally :) yay :)
#see the thing with zavijava is that there isn’t much info to share on her just on account of her being what she is#she is like a Concept trying to humanize and shove herself into a box#it’s like asking a rock what it likes. a rock can’t like anything it just sort of exists#that’s zavi babey#that’s not to say she doesn’t desperately try to like anything and everything . and that’s precisely what she ends up doing#she loves everything ! but she doesn’t really understand it or have a genuine connection to anything just by virtue of not being part of the#world. it’s like having a 6d being try to exist in a 3d space. very limiting. very incomprehensible for the 6d being#so her enjoyment of things (debatable if she’s even Capable of feeling Anytning) is artificial in a way#she is Uncanny Valley she reflects humans she does not really have an inner world or proper opinions of her own#so like she Does really love humans and everything about their world. but no specifics or a detailed understanding of them & it#as much as she likes humans she does not grasp their concepts like at all. Or only in a rudimentary manner#haze could explain to her why some people walk holding hands and she would be like Wow i guess that means we are married :) because we are#always together :) we can even hold hands too :) (she tries to hold his hand and he immediately starts seeing the hat man)#so yea. tldr. she’s more of a concept made character so there’s not a lot of Character Info on her#she’s more of a force#cramswering#idk if any of that is a coherent fucking explanation LOL she’s just kinda dream-like in that sense. idk#like yknow the way humans can’t truly comprehend eldritch beings or non euclidian shapes or whatever#the eldritch being in turn is not fated to understand da humans ….#& anyways for now the rest of the stars are aware that zavijava is Goofing but it’s not urgent enough to send someone after her. yetttt#tho hell dude 2 angels in the world would probably make it implode instantly so maybe that’s why they’re hesitant to do anything#also yea idk if this needs to be said but those angels arent tied to religion or humans really. they’re not guardian angels they’re just#Things that exist on a different Plane Of Existence. parallel to the human world#they watch over it but not in a guardian responsibility way#just sort of in a It’s Something To Look At way#ok yeah it’s 1:30am too by the way so i think that’s enough incomprehensible eldritch rambling#tell me about ur au boy
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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Not aiming this at anyone specifically, but I’m genuinely so disappointed & annoyed at the fact no one in my real life circles bothered to reach out to me to check up on me regarding the recent Liam Payne/One Direction news.
#ignore if you want I’m just gonna vent a minute#it’s been over 3 days now & almost nothing#They know I was/am a fan of at least 1d or could take a pretty good educated guess if nothing else#& yet not one person who knows me personally bothered to ask if I was alright#And honestly… I’m not#I’m fucking struggling#it’s just so complex n confusing & I’m having a really hard time coming to terms with everything#I get it people are busy and have their own things going#& they probably don’t think it’s a big deal losing Liam as it was just a silly little boyband to them#but to me n to everyone who was there for those years it feels so so strangely personal#like a longtime distant friend has just been ripped away so tragically#& not only the tragic death of a person but the death of your adolescence & all the innocence of that time#the end of an era that had so much joy n significance in your life#& I know it’s probably not easy to tell I’m upset bc I keep my emotions pretty much exclusively to myself (thanks autism)#but honestly it’s just so invalidating and isolating to not have anyone to talk to#I already feel so completely alone in general bc no one ever checks in with me n stuff like this just solidifies that#I just don’t think it would have been so difficult just to drop a quick message to say ‘hope you’re okay’ or ‘thinking of you’ at least#it would have made a difference#& I know this post isn’t gonna matter to anyone but I just had to get my frustrations out somewhere bc it’s weighing on me a lot#anyway if you got to here thanks for your time n I hope you’re doing okay!!#feel free to reach out to me if you ever want/need to ❤️❤️❤️#wow that was a lot#personal#Kirsty talks#my posts#my stuff#1d#Liam Payne#one direction
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Man idk the argument about hvy being a Chinese company and so they're restricted on having characters with dark skin tones when dislyte is ALSO a Chinese company and they typically are really good at representing the culture they take from for their characters makes it somewhat mute
#Like ppl aren't even asking to make new body models literally just to slap on your darkest (which isn't even that dark mind you!) skin tone#On the characters that is inspired by mostly brown/black cultures#Also it a bad look when you can perfectly design enemies in those regions of having various cultures design such as dreadlocks but -#Not on your playable 'good guys' 😬#Natlan update is gonna be a mess with it characters I'm hoping it won't be as tone deaf like what happen w sumeru#The jeht world quest still fucks with me with how racist paimon became for that like jfc orz#Especially since with dislyte they got in trouble with the character design (half animal and death features) that they made alt costumes bu#Never touch the feature of any of their more ethic diverse characters like lmao? It also very popular least I think it is#Like it definitely feels like hvy is either doing this on purpose or they're too cowardly to try and even properly design character inspire#By real ppl which is like why you taking real life ppl/figures n half assing it as if you were force to design them?? Lazy#Also dislyte was only an example I remember since I played it#I heard that other Chinese games does a better job too with it non-white/pale designs than hvy#Which is like 😬😬😬😬😬#Your able to keep designing femboys but draw the line at trying to have dark playable characters oh my god
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