#tell me about ur au boy
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zavijava info PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! PLEASEEEEE ZAVIJAVA COME HOME ... PLEASE .... umm um um ill tell you about umm . tma au im making for nastya if u tell me about her .PLEASE!!!!!!!
so she is definitely a star of some kind. i mean she is an angel but in that story in particular The Stars are kind of angels. like theyâre otherworldly beings and they jus kinda hang out. cosmically. itâs a different dimension separated from the human one but like, obviously stars still exist for humans, they just donât do anything crazy because the rules of the world dictate that their realities shouldnât interact. angels can observe the other world from far up above yet they still exist on a different level. But tbh zavijava had never enjoyed the otherworldly ethereal whatever lifestyleâshe just didnât feel like she fit in there. she is a #1 humans fan though so she knows thatâs where sheâd fit in. so she does just that. she fits in perfectly :) and normally :) yay :)
#see the thing with zavijava is that there isnât much info to share on her just on account of her being what she is#she is like a Concept trying to humanize and shove herself into a box#itâs like asking a rock what it likes. a rock canât like anything it just sort of exists#thatâs zavi babey#thatâs not to say she doesnât desperately try to like anything and everything . and thatâs precisely what she ends up doing#she loves everything ! but she doesnât really understand it or have a genuine connection to anything just by virtue of not being part of the#world. itâs like having a 6d being try to exist in a 3d space. very limiting. very incomprehensible for the 6d being#so her enjoyment of things (debatable if sheâs even Capable of feeling Anytning) is artificial in a way#she is Uncanny Valley she reflects humans she does not really have an inner world or proper opinions of her own#so like she Does really love humans and everything about their world. but no specifics or a detailed understanding of them & it#as much as she likes humans she does not grasp their concepts like at all. Or only in a rudimentary manner#haze could explain to her why some people walk holding hands and she would be like Wow i guess that means we are married :) because we are#always together :) we can even hold hands too :) (she tries to hold his hand and he immediately starts seeing the hat man)#so yea. tldr. sheâs more of a concept made character so thereâs not a lot of Character Info on her#sheâs more of a force#cramswering#idk if any of that is a coherent fucking explanation LOL sheâs just kinda dream-like in that sense. idk#like yknow the way humans canât truly comprehend eldritch beings or non euclidian shapes or whatever#the eldritch being in turn is not fated to understand da humans âŚ.#& anyways for now the rest of the stars are aware that zavijava is Goofing but itâs not urgent enough to send someone after her. yetttt#tho hell dude 2 angels in the world would probably make it implode instantly so maybe thatâs why theyâre hesitant to do anything#also yea idk if this needs to be said but those angels arent tied to religion or humans really. theyâre not guardian angels theyâre just#Things that exist on a different Plane Of Existence. parallel to the human world#they watch over it but not in a guardian responsibility way#just sort of in a Itâs Something To Look At way#ok yeah itâs 1:30am too by the way so i think thatâs enough incomprehensible eldritch rambling#tell me about ur au boy
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heres a silly little post pacifist au i've had for a Good While now which is why i tend to draw hyperdeath asriel and frisk being siblings a lot theres some Info under the cut if ur curious
OKAY SO BASICALLY i like to imagine that after leaving the underground flowey is able to come to terms with. Being Flowey and through therapy learns how to be more open and frisk and papyrus help him a lot through this. i think toriel already Knows hes flowey just cuz of the way he acts shes like "i dont know how. but that is my son boy." and one day he comes home from therapy and goes I Need To Tell You Something. I Am Asriel. and he braces for the way she reacted in the underground but this time around she just goes "im so glad you finally feel comfortable telling me" and they both cry it out
as flowey becomes more comfortable with being himself he starts to mess around with his face to prank frisk cuz he just NEEDS to be an annoying older brother and after he works out his various issues and can see himself more as he is an not there being a clear distinction between asriel and flowey in his brain (ive talked about this a lot i think he sees asriel as different from him cuz of trauma and therapy will help him kind of calm down and go "im still me im just different and older now and also traumatized but despite everything its still me") i think he would be able to make himself look like hyperdeath asriel as its what he feels most comfortable looking like
he still goes by flowey and he moves around like flowey but when hes just standing there he needs a cane both cuz i imagine it kinda hurts and he doesnt have good balance. i like to think that despite being a weird grumpy guy who sits at home all day cuz hes not ready to interact with lots of people yet hes actually a very good brother who cares a lot about frisk and the people around him <3 big brother flowey SO real btw ask to tag if needed
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i'll love you forever
pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.
genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating
warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesnât rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon
word count: 21,858
playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))
author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.
to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you đ anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.
In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, heâd been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. Theyâd welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, âOh, I didnât know you were coming home this weekend.â when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this.Â
In the last three months, he hasnât so much as sent a text to his parents.Â
Or to you.Â
Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, âHi, sweetie, I love you đ,â turns into, âMissing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?â which turns into, âGetting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!âÂ
Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come.Â
Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isnât answering calls either. Whatâs going on with you two?
When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, âIâm going home.âÂ
And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasnât the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you werenât there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay.Â
The look of worry on his mumâs face stirs a pit in his stomach. âWhy are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,â she says, frowning. âIs it school? Or something with YN? Itâs not like her not to text back.â Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. âBreakups are never easy, honey. Iâm so sorry, I know how much you love her.âÂ
Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head.Â
Whether she knows it or not, sheâs handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies.Â
For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. Heâd imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches.Â
âWe didnât break up,â he says in a small voiceâfor some reason. âIâm just having a hard time.â Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.
The tightening grip of his mumâs arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs heâd been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mumâs cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes.Â
His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but itâs weird to be home without you.Â
There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend heâd made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you.Â
Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising heâs crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking.Â
Though he didnât know it at the time, youâd left Yeonjunâs place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one youâd only visit to toast to each otherâs heartbreaks. It had become a ritual â ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks â to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments.Â
Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of âboy whose crush likes someone elseâ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. Heâd had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time youâd dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than himâtaller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didnât stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out.Â
This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeongâlying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didnât really have feelings for her â he didnât even know her â but she was a girl that you didnât know, so you wouldnât be able to meddle.Â
It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldnât hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony.Â
But the night was missing its usual comforts.
It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to âHoonieâs first heartbreakâ. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years.Â
Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than heâd been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat.Â
The voices coming from Yejiâs room disrupt the memory. Heâs thankful.
âYour brotherâs going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.â His motherâs voice is her version of hushedâa loud whisper.Â
Yejiâs response is harder to make out, but he doesnât miss the way their mum says, âI mean it, missy.âÂ
A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs.Â
âMum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.âÂ
Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt sheâs wearing used to live.Â
âI hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I donât know how Iâm supposed to carry on your legacy.â Sheâs looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows.Â
Itâs impossible to know if itâs because of Yejiâs complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her âperfect, golden boyâ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears.Â
âOh, uh.. Iâm sorry?â Yeji offers. âI was kidding if that helps.âÂ
âIâm alright, itâs okay.â The tears donât stop stinging his eyes. âWhy do you want me to change everything about myself?âÂ
With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesnât understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoonâs academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoonâs shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her.Â
âBut other than that, Iâm good.â She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. âHowâs YN?â she asks. Itâs clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks sheâs helping.Â
Sunghoon cries again.Â
Back on campus, heâs trying to scrape together whatâs left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word âfriendâ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jayâs goading him.Â
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. âThereâs nothing you can do that I canât,â he says, meaning every word.Â
Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his âabout to say something ridiculousâ look. âPretty sure I could call YN right now, and sheâd answer.âÂ
Thereâs a pit in Sunghoonâs stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like heâs been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesnât hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesnât waste his energy trying to argue because Jayâs right.
Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoonâs course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class heâs taking â The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway â is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but itâs the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.
âThis class is, like, beyond easy, dude.â Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. âEveryone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?âÂ
âI only took it because YN thought itâd be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of havenât been going since we stopped talking.â Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected.Â
As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him.Â
âSunghoon, a word?â you ask.
He thinks youâre asking, but itâs hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. âMe?âÂ
âDoes anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?âÂ
âOkay,â he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him.Â
As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your faceâwhich, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.
Sunghoon isnât sure what to expect, so he says, âHey.â Heâs being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. âWhatâs gooooood?â His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and itâs beautiful and happy, and youâre laughing because of himâor at him, but heâs glad either way.Â
Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. âWere you ever going to tell me weâre spending next week at Mum and Dadâs?â you ask.Â
Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. âI knew there was something Iâve been meaning to do.âÂ
His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. âCan you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?â Youâre frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. âItâs not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying thingsâmaking plans involving me and then acting like Iâm the bad guy when I turn you down.âÂ
âI donât think youâre the bad guy at all,â Sunghoon admits. âIf anyone is in the wrong, itâs me, I guess.â
You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. âYou guess? Are you serious?â You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. âI canât have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum Iâm sick, and itâs contagious.â You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor.Â
He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you?Â
Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like heâs not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseungâs help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set.Â
When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away.Â
The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been.Â
For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he canât remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. Theyâre cutting all the same.Â
Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceilingâa diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks.Â
Heâs glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear.Â
âI just got off the phone with Dad..â You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. âIâll go home with you.âÂ
âYou will?âÂ
âYes. Goodbye.âÂ
Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You donât smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. Youâre aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoonâs heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then letâs not be friends at all.Â
A familiar weight lands on his shoulderâyour hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if heâs okay.Â
With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods.Â
In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home.Â
âHowâs Yeonjun,â he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw.Â
âNo,â you say simply, shaking your head. âYou donât get to ask me about him.âÂ
These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but donât protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.
He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but heâs not entirely sure how to say itâso he just does. âMy, uh.. my parents think weâre dating.â
You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking.Â
Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. âWhy do they think that?â Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine.Â
He stares blankly at you, processing. âBecause I told them weâre dating,â he mumbles.Â
âWhy did you.. do that?â You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. âWhat are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?âÂ
A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? âWe can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,â Sunghoon offers. âJust one night, YN, please.âÂ
The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads.Â
Youâre staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. âOr we could say that youâre a liar and end things there,â you say. âOr better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.â
Sunghoonâs gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows youâre right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and itâd be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. âAlright,â he concedes. âIâll take you back.â
An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. âNo need, Iâll walk.âÂ
The station youâre at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow heâs not even sure it has a pavement. Youâre halfway through the three-hour drive, so thereâs no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and itâs deep enough into October for the wind to sting.Â
âFrom here?â he asks, incredulous.Â
âYes, open the boot so I can get my bag.âÂ
Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper.Â
âOpen the boot.â
He repeats your name as if itâll make a difference, heâs pleading with you, beggingâthough he doesnât know for what.Â
You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. âPlease.â
Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that youâre not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you wonât back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driverâs seatâyour move.Â
You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks youâll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. âLetâs just get this over with.âÂ
For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriendâeven if only for a night. You scoff when he âremindsâ you that youâve been together for four months now and the only reason you havenât been able to come home recently is that your schedules donât match up very well anymoreâwhich couldnât be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldnât be more suited for seeing each other.Â
Finally, at Sunghoonâs childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. Heâs relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours.Â
With his parents, youâd sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dadâs side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again.Â
Now, at 3 a.m. he canât sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. Itâs you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed.Â
He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises youâre not wearing your necklace.Â
Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didnât want him, you wouldnât want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldnât see if you had it on or not.Â
It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, whoâd gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it.Â
While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how âboys come and go but Sunghoon is foreverâ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights laterâit was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought heâd done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoonâs been riding that high ever since.Â
Until tonight at least.Â
âAre you okay?â he whispers.Â
âIâll do it, Hoon.â Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. âFor as long as you need me to, Iâll pretend.â
As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You havenât called him âHoonâ in ages, and he canât tell if youâve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that youâve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, heâs not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why youâre crying.Â
âWhat happened?â
You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. âIt doesnât matter,â you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck.Â
For as long as heâs known you, youâve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet itâs only after these months apart that heâs able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much heâs missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he canât find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes itâs enough.Â
âYou can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.â
A heavy silence follows, sharp as a daggerâscraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoonâs breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close youâve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room.Â
Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that youâre okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you donât even stir when he lies down.Â
Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room.Â
For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. Itâs at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and youâre bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. Thereâs a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding.Â
âBaby!â you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. âGood morning.â Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn.Â
âItâs great to see you too, YN,â his mum says with a smile. âMy night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.âÂ
You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. âSorry, mum, how are you?âÂ
His mother doesnât seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. âgood morningâ to go unnoticed.Â
Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a âthank youâ, and his knees turn to jelly.Â
The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon canât stop you from dragging your feet.Â
As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that youâre determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most youâd do is step over his body like a fallen branch.Â
After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. Itâs been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. Itâs like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.
You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs.Â
Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. âWhat are you doing?â
Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. âHolding my girlfriendâs hand.âÂ
âNo oneâs looking, boyfriend.â
âYou think my parents arenât going to wonder why weâre lagging behind?âÂ
A scoffâyour fingers remain defiantly stiff. âDo you think your parents are going to care whether or not weâre holding hands?âÂ
âMy mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.â Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it.Â
A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. âSorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.âÂ
As your words hang in the air, Sunghoonâs emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesnât stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomachâhe knows you donât feel the same way, he knows youâre faking, but the word âpretendingâ hits him like a truck anyway.Â
âWe held hands all the time when we were friends,â he points out.
Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. âYeah, and now weâre not.âÂ
If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoonâs feelings the most, youâd be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction.Â
âExactly!â he says, feeling the sting of his own words. âBecause now weâre dating.â
At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. Itâs forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.
âYou two okay back there?â she asks.Â
âPerfect! I feel like a kid again!â you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesnât meet your eyes.Â
The two of you donât talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs.Â
âSheâs not feeling too well,â he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea.Â
His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesnât pretend not to like it.
Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. Itâs nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers youâre chopping.Â
His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neckâthe scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesnât do anything to stop the flush.Â
Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldnât stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.
After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song heâs never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses youâd used.Â
âLeave ours,â you say. âIf you want.âÂ
Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You donât speak either. Itâs reminiscent of the pastâthe hours youâd spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post youâd come across or to ask if you were hungry.Â
His eyes track your movementsâreaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine heâs already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it.Â
Sunghoon doesnât know why youâve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt.Â
âYou know you donât have to be nice to me when weâre alone, right?â The words come out before he can stop them.
Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. âWhat?â you ask finally.Â
âI only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You donât have to sit or talk with me when theyâre not around.âÂ
Sunghoonâs known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; youâre hurt.
âWhy canât I just be nice to you because itâs the right thing to do?âÂ
Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. âBecause I donât want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.â Is what he settles for.Â
Your face softens. âI donât feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I donât think you could ever make me uncomfortable.â You pause to take a gulp of wine. âWhy canât I just want to be nice to you?âÂ
Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. âIâm sorry,â he says.Â
âWhat for?âÂ
âEverything.âÂ
Thereâs a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. âItâs not your fault,â you say. âI donât know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.âÂ
Wow, he thinks. Youâre on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if youâre meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings arenât reciprocated as if he didnât live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed.Â
âBut I didnât have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.âÂ
âDid you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?âÂ
âMaybe?â Sunghoon chews on his lipâhe has no idea what he thought would happen. âI think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I donât know, just learn to love me.â
âHoon,â you whisper, frowning. âHow could you even think about settling for something like that?âÂ
Sunghoon shrugs. âItâs not settling if itâs you.âÂ
Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wallâa glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. Youâre picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak.Â
âI know itâs not my place to ask,â Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. âBut what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?âÂ
You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks youâre not going to answer himâhe doesnât blame you.Â
âI didnât.âÂ
He waits for you to elaborate. You donât.Â
Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. âHe didnât ask why we stopped hanging out?â he blurts out.
âI told him we fell out but I didnât say why.â You shrug, but your posture is stiff.Â
âWhere did you tell him you were going to be this week?â He knows itâs not his business at all, that heâs pushing your boundaries, but he canât help his curiosity.
âNowhere.âÂ
âYou told him you were staying on campus?âÂ
âI didnât tell him anything.â Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out.Â
âSo you just left?âÂ
âDoes it make a difference to you?âÂ
Sunghoon nods.
For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. âYeonjun and I arenât together anymore.â Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoonâs jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. âI didnât want to say anything because I didnât want you to think it was because of you.âÂ
Sunghoonâs thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each otherâdisbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadnât dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront.Â
âWas it?â he asks. âBecause of me?âÂ
You scoffâan incredulous sound that doesnât match the sad look on your face. âI donât know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?â
Heâs not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says after too long. âThat I wasnât there. That I havenât been there.âÂ
âYou didnât know,â you say, gaze softening as you look up at him.Â
âBut I made you feel like you couldnât talk to me about it.âÂ
You shake your head. âI made me feel like I couldnât talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, Iâm the one who ended it.â
âI still shouldâve been there.âÂ
âYouâre here now, right?âÂ
Sunghoon nods, earnestly. âAlways.âÂ
Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word âalwaysâ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when itâs done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking youâve been doing.Â
âIs it bad that Iâve missed doing this?â Youâre grinning now.
Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. âTo YNâs fifteenth heartbreak.âÂ
You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. âTo YNâs fifteenth heartbreak,â you repeat.Â
Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memoriesâdoing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents.Â
For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yejiâs clock. Sunghoonâs eyes meet yours, and he canât help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do.Â
You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. âThis is my sixteenth, actually.âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. âMy fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.â
In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But thereâs no use pretending it doesnât hurt. Pretending it doesnât hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurtâa lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, youâll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, youâll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when heâs alone in his room, like now.Â
About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing.Â
He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gaspâhis mother.Â
âWhatâs this for?â she asks.Â
âI just..â You trail off. âI know itâs not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.â You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. âItâs been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I donât think I couldâve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And Iâm trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. Iâm sorry it took me so long.âÂ
He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurtingâan ache in his fingertips that makes him wince.Â
An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoonâs family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family.Â
The memory of your parentsâ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoonâs parents could continue looking after you.Â
His chest tightens when you start crying.Â
âYou donât have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. Youâre doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,â his dad says, a little choked up. âWeâve always been proud of you.âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He canât hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once heâs dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yejiâs room.
In her absence, the roomâs subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.
Her hairdryer is still on her desk where sheâd left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yejiâs mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan.Â
Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. âMum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,â you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror.Â
Sunghoon canât find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but donât move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer.Â
Youâre sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that youâre never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, heâs glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak.Â
âBrush your teeth and go back to sleep then,â he mumbles around his toothbrush.Â
You donât respond.Â
Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. âAnd quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and itâs freaking me out.âÂ
âBut youâre so pretty,â you coo.Â
Thereâs a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. Youâre still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you canât see the flush on his cheeks.Â
âGo back to sleep,â he says.Â
âWill you come and lie down with me if I do?â Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves.Â
Lying down doesnât sound like a terrible idea, especially not if itâs with you, so he nods. âIf you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, Iâll lie down with you.âÂ
You chuckle softly at Sunghoonâs agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didnât mean to, itâs been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like heâs glued to the spot.Â
âMove, baby,â you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. âWe can cuddle in my bed,â you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word âbabyâ on a loop in his head.Â
He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he canât go on like this, canât stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him âbabyâ and it meant something for you as it did for him. Itâs not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he canât help it. Youâre already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave?Â
The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. Youâve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows youâve only asked him because youâre tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when heâs two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.
Itâs dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. Youâre staring up at him, smiling and you donât look away when he catches you. âWhat is it?â he asks, voice thick with sleep.Â
âNothing,â you mumble. âI just missed you.â Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again. âCome on, dadâs cooking tonight, heâll need help.âÂ
Helping Sunghoonâs dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, heâs sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. Heâll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as heâs reaching the halfway point.Â
You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says itâs best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning.Â
The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoonâs lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace youâre wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing.Â
âYouâll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,â you scold, using a hand to push his knee. âWeâre almost done, I swear.âÂ
All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it.Â
âWow,â his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. âBeing in love looks good on him, heâd never have listened if I said that.âÂ
Itâs already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldnât have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while â You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. â as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.
âGod.â Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. âIâm so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.âÂ
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yejiâs words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yejiâs head, you look at him with a fond smile. âHeâs not so bad.âÂ
It doesnât sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart.Â
Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead.Â
Itâs nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a monthâs worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.
Contrary to what heâd been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and youâre telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new cafĂŠ that opened up near your place and how youâll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely.Â
Youâre still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You donât say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.
He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. âThank you,â he mumbles into your hair.Â
Sunghoon doesnât follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You donât notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. âArenât you going to walk me up?âÂ
The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them.Â
âDo you want to come in?â you ask from your open doorway.
âIâuhâI have training in the morning and Iâm already pretty tired, so..â He trails off.
Unfazed, you nod. âRight, of course. I had fun this week.âÂ
âYeah, me too.âÂ
You smile at him, sweet and sincere. âText me when you get home, yeah?âÂ
Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesnât leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down.Â
True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but donât reply. Itâs empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.
YNđŤ: iâm glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i donât want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. iâve been missing you so much and didnât know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so iâd like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik itâs a long shot ahahaha but just say youâll think about it?Â
hoonie: Youâre not overstepping at all, Iâve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and Iâd like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along đ If youâre free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer
hoonie: I missed you so much..Â
hoonie: đ¤
The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesnât escape Chaewonâs notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you.Â
âGood trip?â she asks, coming over and hugging you. âNever leave me for that long again,â she mumbles into your shirt.Â
âIt was a week, Wonie,â you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too.Â
She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. âIt was nine days.âÂ
âThe longest of my life.âÂ
Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. âThat bad, huh?â she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her.Â
During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her.Â
âNo, not at all,â you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. âI had fun.â As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesnât work.Â
Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. âHow much fun?âÂ
âYouâre disgusting.âÂ
âI didnât even say anything!â she defends, holding her hands up. âI made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and itâs hot.âÂ
âShut up.âÂ
âYouâre telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still donât want him? Youâre a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,â she says, tilting her head. âI think I would kill for that chance.âÂ
âDonât touch him.â
âOh?âÂ
âJesus, Chaewon, itâs not like that. Hoonâs too sensitive for your roster.âÂ
âI never said it was like anything, youâre the one whoâs dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.âÂ
âSunghoon isnât hot; heâs..â You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, youâve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparentsâ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. âJust leave him alone.â
Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. âOkay,â she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.
You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. Itâs not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldnât bother you, nor would it be any of your business. Theyâre grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, thereâs a nagging feeling you canât shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind.Â
When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.
you: sounds good, see u later đ¤
After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once â drunkenly â said he loved on you.
You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand.Â
hoonie: Do you want to head to class together?Â
you: sure! iâm omw out, where should i get you?Â
hoonie: .. Iâm outside your building :DÂ
Breathing a laugh through your nose, you donât fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, heâs standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.
âHey!â you call out, jogging over to him.Â
Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction.Â
âI wasnât sure if youâd have eaten anything yet, you donât normally in the morning,â he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. âMatcha. Ham and cheese toastie.âÂ
âDid you make these?â you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides.Â
He hums, nodding his head.
You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When youâre done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day.Â
âIâm meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but Iâm all yours after that.âÂ
âTalk about your grades? Whatâs wrong with your grades?âÂ
Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adamâs apple. âMy grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think heâll bench me if I fail again.âÂ
He sounds like heâs being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoonâs grades were your parentsâ favourite point of comparison.
âReally?â you ask. He nods. âWhatâs up? Is something the matter?âÂ
A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. âYeah, my best friend didnât talk to me for three months.âÂ
âOh..â Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. âIâm sorry.â
âIâm not blaming you, itâs not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.â He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. âBut if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.âÂ
âDeal.âÂ
Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isnât unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. âYouâre too good to me,â he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.
At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.
Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. Thereâs something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard.Â
During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; itâs a document adorned with Sunghoonâs own musings about Hemingwayâs style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.
âHow are your notes so good?âÂ
âI picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,â Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. âI liked it.âÂ
A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But thisâthis is different. You canât help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was.Â
âDonât look at me like that,â he mumbles.Â
Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words heâs typing: I wouldâve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..
Thereâs no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thingâa single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose â the most prominent â against your skin.Â
You remain this way â silent, watching â even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesnât notice your gaze searing into his face.
After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. Itâs uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way youâre sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjinâyou wonât do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoonâs face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs.Â
To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for youâheâd written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.
Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure youâre surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They donât say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact heâd given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. Youâre not sure why their silence disappoints you.
Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence.Â
âWhat flavour for ice cream?â Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. âAnd donât say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.âÂ
âThat happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?âÂ
Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose.Â
âMint-cho isnât that bad,â she starts. âItâs a little jarring, sure, but itâs kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.âÂ
You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know sheâs not trying to insult you, but donât know what she means when she says, âIt must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.âÂ
Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statementâs journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets â the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood â at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices.Â
Itâs only hours after Yunijnâs gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.
âI think Iâm getting sick,â you say as soon as she opens her door. âItâs been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.âÂ
Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. âDo you..â She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. âDo you have any idea what time it is right now?âÂ
âYes. Itâs three a.m.âÂ
âExactly. See a doctor if youâre sick, Iâm going back to sleep.â
âThis is an emergenââ Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. âItâs three in the morning,â she reminds you. âYou canât yell like that in my hallway, come in.âÂ
You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. âSorry,â you whisper when the door is closed.Â
Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. âYou donât look or sound sick,â she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. âWhat are your symptoms? And why did you come here?âÂ
You donât have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. âMy cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.â
âYou seem fine to me.âÂ
A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. âThatâs the thing. Iâll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like Iâve run a marathon.â You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of youâitâll be easier to confront that way.Â
From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. âOh?âÂ
âI know.â You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. âItâs only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.â
At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like youâre glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed.Â
âWhat are you smirking for?â you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door.Â
Her response only comes after youâve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. âItâs nothing,â she says, laughing.Â
âTell me.âÂ
Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think itâs meant to be comforting but itâs the opposite. âYouâll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isnât deadly.âÂ
Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm.Â
Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but canât help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up âlovesicknessâ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like âunrequited loveâ forming a pit in your stomach. Thereâs nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequitedâyou think.Â
It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way heâd tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents werenât there to see, or how he slipped up and called you âbabyâ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You canât fake something like that.. Can you?
Yeonjun did.
Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jakeâs story comes up first; heâs at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring.Â
Oh, you think. Lovesickness.Â
When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jakeâs story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportionâso vast thereâs a safety railing lining its edges.Â
You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like youâre watching it on a screenâit was your third night at his parentsâ house, after your walk.Â
You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours.Â
There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoonâs mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world.Â
You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gazeâhe brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate.Â
âHi,â you said, clearing your throat.Â
âHi,â he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. âItâs still hot so be careful.âÂ
Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell youâd come to associate with comfort and homeâwith Sunghoon.Â
âItâs not fair for me to treat you like shit just because Iâm annoyed, I shouldnât have spoken to you like that earlier. Iâm sorry.âÂ
A crease ran over Sunghoonâs thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. âYou donât have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didnât even try to think about how you would feel. Iâm sorry.â His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.
âAnyway, I only came to bring you that,â he said, pointing at the cup. âAnd to check up on you, Iâll get out of your hair for tonight.â Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hairâwhatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. âYou left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. Iâm sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didnât feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.âÂ
Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first yearâthey were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didnât feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one youâd been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED IâD BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest.Â
âGoodnight, YN,â Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. âI really am sorry.â
That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it.Â
This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. âYou have class in an hour, what are you doing?â Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. âOh, the feelings.âÂ
You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say.Â
At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isnât around to tease you about the smile you canât wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoonâyouâll text her later.
You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you donât stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who donât take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vainâyou would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.
Itâs not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon.Â
you: i have news wonie.. i like sunghoon
wonie: âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.. fork in the kitchen yn whatâs the news?Â
wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call?Â
She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasnât arrived, and thereâs no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call.Â
âAre you going to tell him?!â Chaewonâs voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear.Â
âI donât know.â You shrug even though she canât see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. âI donât have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. Itâs been a while, and I was pretty mean that day.Â
Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. âDid you have to tell him to get a grip?âÂ
âYou know..â You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. âIn hindsight, probably not.âÂ
A beat passes, sheâs thinking. âDonât worry,â she says. âIâll help you.âÂ
âI.. have never been so worried in my life.â You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. âBut I know youâll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.âÂ
Chaewon squeals down the phone. âI love youuuuu!â And itâs the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up.Â
Slumping in your seat, you donât have any time to stress about Chaewonâs plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm.Â
She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that youâll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of termâIan McEwanâs Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.
hoonie: Wanna study together after class?Â
you: of course!!!!!!Â
hoonie: đ¤
The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.
you: class just finished, heading to lib rnÂ
hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table?Â
you: iâll try..
It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when heâs here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view.Â
Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesnât help that heâs wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didnât realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You canât tell if itâs his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him thatâs making his biceps look so huge but itâs hard to look away, even when he reaches the table.Â
âAre you hot?â you blurt out.Â
Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way heâs looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. âDepends whoâs asking.â He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.
âIâm asking,â you mumble.Â
âThen, yeah, Iâd hope so.âÂ
Is he flirting? It sounds like heâs flirting. Flirt back! âNice arms.âÂ
He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. âAre you flirting with me?â He canât fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.
âA little. They are nice though,â you admit.
Sunghoon grins. âThanks, Iâve had them for a while now.â
You canât come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. Itâs only when you look away from him that you remember what youâre here for. Itâs a study date, not a study dateâthereâs a difference.Â
You hand Sunghoon the material youâd printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts youâd studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you canât help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while heâs thinking. You arenât making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you canât help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you canât see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up.Â
After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. âCould you stop watching me?â
âIf you noticed me watching, that means youâre watching me.âÂ
He shrugs, chewing on his lip. âWell, yeah. Iâm always watching you,â he says like itâs a given. âBut you donât normally watch back, itâs distracting.âÂ
âYouâre distracting.â
A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. âAm I?âÂ
Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you donât look as wound up as you feel.Â
Sunghoonâs eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you donât recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head.Â
âYou know,â he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. âIf my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldnât want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?âÂ
Oh.Â
Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. âSunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.âÂ
His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesnât spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.
âAre you going to get that?âÂ
Sunghoon shakes his head. âItâs nothing.âÂ
You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that heâll elaborate without being asked to. It doesnât take long for him to deliver.
âItâs just Chaewon,â he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. âWeâve been texting a lot these days.âÂ
âCool.â You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesnât, only humming in response, nodding too.Â
After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you canât see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears reddenâFuck. This is worse than you thought.Â
Chaewonâs commitment to girl code runs deepâsheâs been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl sheâd never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing sheâs saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word âbuddyâ from across the table.Â
What you hadnât counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoonâs feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and youâd already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, heâd move on, he has moved on.Â
The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jakeâs been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set.Â
âWith or without the meals, I wouldâve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..â Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. âHe even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.âÂ
âYouâre terrible,â you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. âDo you want to come in?âÂ
Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. âI have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, Iâd have to leave inââ He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. ââeight minutes.âÂ
âIâm cool with that if you are,â you mumble, suddenly shy.Â
A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in.Â
Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You canât help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you canât change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are?Â
You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadburyâs hot chocolate that youâre sure is on the brink of expiration, coffeeâsachets of the instant stuff youâve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewonâs mum brought home from a tripârooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon.Â
Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoonâs head and setting it beside your cup. Heâs on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything heâs seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink.Â
On the dish rack, Chaewonâs mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. âIâm going to check if Wonie wants any,â you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor.Â
Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. âSheâs not home, one of her acrylics popped off so sheâs at the shop waiting for a cancellation.âÂ
The information itself isnât jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation.Â
âIf you knew youâd have to go back to campus so soon, whyâd you walk me home?â you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. âI couldâve walked on my own.âÂ
Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope heâll say. You think you need him to say it.Â
âBecause you donât have to do anything on your own when you have me,â he says instead, and itâs infinitely better.Â
The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet.Â
Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when itâs time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.
Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You donât let go when he does, and a sweet laugh â a giggle, you think â tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on.Â
âYou donât have to walk me downstairs, honestly,â he says, looking down at you in the doorway.
âI want to.âÂ
His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force youâre sure itâs visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away.Â
âIâll text you when I get to the door, promise.âÂ
You lock your pinky with his. âSend a selfie, just so I know itâs you and not someone else using your phone.âÂ
Sunghoonâs head falls back in a laugh. âShould I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.âÂ
You nod.
âThat wasnât anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..â He trails off, searching your eyes. Itâs obvious that heâs telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. âI wasnât sure if that was something I could talk about with you.âÂ
Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture insteadâyour best friend is going through something and doesnât feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles.Â
âYou can talk to me about anything,â you say, meaning it.Â
Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. âNext time,â he says after a beat, waving at you.Â
You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoonâs calling.Â
Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.
Thankfully tonight, itâs the first one.Â
Youâve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flowsâan hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence.Â
Itâs during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, âLet me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. âI donât want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I wonât bring it up or ask again.â
Arching a curious brow, you nod. âYou can ask me anything,â you say, meaning it.
Sunghoonâs face is impressively blankâminus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, thereâs absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you.Â
Eventually, he asks, âCan I kiss you?â He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they donât register. They donât matter.Â
Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you canât get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands.Â
âFor closure,â you repeat, though your voice doesnât sound like itâs coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart.Â
Sunghoon nods. âFor closure.âÂ
A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldnât have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting.Â
One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoonâs hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like heâs committing them to memory.
Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoonâs kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. Itâs hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, heâs trying and heâs perfect; your favourite.Â
The kiss is.. itâs everything. Itâs the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. Itâs a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. Itâs Sunghoonâs soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and itâs every bit as lovely as the rest of him.
Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger.Â
Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. Youâre all Iâve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. Youâre everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think heâs saying, weâll be okay, I still love you.Â
With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathingâheâs beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoonâs hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you.Â
Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. âWas it everything you ever dreamed of?â you whisper, part teasing, all curious.
Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. âI have to go.âÂ
You want to stop him, you think youâre supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you donât. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoonâs back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until heâs out of sight.Â
Itâs your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you canât tell if itâs his leaving or the mention of him moving on thatâs tripping you up so much. Thatâs causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under.Â
You love him. Heâs gone.Â
Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloyingâclay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on.Â
Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesnât reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing.Â
Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands.Â
âDonât move on.â The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you.Â
âHuh?â He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him.Â
You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. âI donât want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please donât move on.âÂ
The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.
âDo you..â He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.
âI do,â you whisper, nodding. âIâm sorry for taking so long.â
An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. âYou like me?â he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.
âI love you,â you admit, settling on his thighs.Â
âYou do?â His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.
You nod. âSo much.âÂ
Sunghoonâs chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that canât turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.Â
âSo.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?âÂ
Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. âI will. Iâm a little bummed though.âÂ
âWhy?â You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it.Â
âI wanted to be the one to ask you.â Sunghoonâs honesty warms the room, endearing you completely.Â
You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. âAsk me anyway.âÂ
âPlease can I be your boyfriend?âÂ
In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. Heâd get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. Heâd buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.
He wasnât ready to have sex and didnât know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didnât want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest.Â
The only thing was that your lecturer hadnât given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby âšď¸Â
This morning, youâre brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!
When the picture comes through, itâs of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. Heâs smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that heâs holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants.Â
Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesnât.Â
hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?
you: mm..Â
you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!
hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?
you: i love itâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
hoonie: My girl đ¤
Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.
you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hoonie: Thx đ
hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha đ
you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.
Your resolve isnât strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back.Â
The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. âHey, gorgeous. You proud of me?âÂ
You beam at him, holding out the flowers. âIâm very proud, Hoon, well done.âÂ
âI donât want to ruin the moment,â he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. âBut hearing you say youâre proud of me is awakening something I didnât know existed.â
âA good something?âÂ
âMm,â he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. âA very good something.âÂ
Sunghoonâs words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage.Â
He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. âI donât think we own a vase.âÂ
In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.
âOh, yeah,â he says. âItâs Jayâs. Itâll work right?âÂ
You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly.Â
âCan I take a photo?â he asks when youâre done.Â
Heâs smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too.Â
âTheyâre yours, baby, do whatever you want.âÂ
âA photo of you with the flowers,â he clarifies.Â
Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. Heâs watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.
âI want pictures of you too,â you say, handing the flowers over.Â
âIâm yours, baby, do whatever you want.âÂ
Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. Heâs glowing and heâs beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent.Â
âThank you, YN,â he says. âIâve never gotten flowers before, I love them.â His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond.Â
You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.
Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. Heâs nervous, you thinkâthough it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.
Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. âOf course, Iâm nervous.âÂ
âYou donât have to be.â
âI just want to be good for you.âÂ
âDonât worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.â Your palms drag up his torso â firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart â to rest on his shoulders. âSit,â you say when he nods.Â
He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot.Â
âWait,â Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. âLet me calm down, baby. At this rate, Iâll come just seeing your hand on it.âÂ
You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.
âIâm serious, YN,â he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. âI need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. Heâs so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You canât help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you heâs ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down.Â
Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you canât look away. âPretty,â you whisper.
Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adamâs apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. Itâs a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can.Â
Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.
âAm I doing okay?â you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.
He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. âIâm.. Youâre doing such a good job, baby, so good.â
Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock.Â
A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.
Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying whatâs left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. Heâs mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so youâre lying next to him with your head on his chest.Â
âYouâre amazing, baby, so good for me,â Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest.Â
Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. âReally?â
He hums in affirmation, nodding his head.Â
âYou were so quiet, I couldnât really tell,â you add, hungry for more praise.Â
âThe walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,â Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, âIâm sorry. You were perfect, I swear.âÂ
Itâs a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.
âCan I..â Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours.Â
You nod. âYou can.âÂ
Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you.Â
What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. Itâs almost jarring, itâs enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit.Â
âCan you take these off, baby?â he asks, hand away to touch your leggings.Â
You donât waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt.Â
âAnd this? If you want..âÂ
You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your braâwhite and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon canât seem to get enough, though he waits until youâre lying down again to touch you.Â
Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. âYouâre beautiful,â he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. âSo beautiful,â he repeats.Â
Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, âThank you,â into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legsâyou lift one of them, resting it over his body, and heâs smiling sweetly when you look up at him.
Sunghoonâs movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skinâthis time he pushes two fingers into you.
It doesnât get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly.Â
Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, âRelax, baby.âÂ
âDonât want to hurt you.â
Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them.Â
âYou wonât, I promise,â you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.
Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as youâll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage.Â
A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. Itâs difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, âAm I hurting you?âÂ
âHoon,â you whisper.Â
âCan you look at me, baby?â He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. âAm I hurting you?â he asks again. âAre you okay?âÂ
You nod. âIâm okay, just..â You sigh. âFull. Need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. âWant you to move, baby,â you mumble.Â
He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. Heâs slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls.Â
Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.
You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. âGood, Hoon, feels so good,â you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.
âJust want to make you feel good.â His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. Heâs working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need itâthe spot that makes the room blur around you. âThatâs all I want.âÂ
Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chestâitâs the closest youâve ever felt to someone else, the closest youâve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.
Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you canât find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under.Â
You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth.Â
After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean upâgentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoonâs tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition.Â
The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into oneâthe thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back.Â
âI love you,â he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. âIâm glad I exist.â
mama park: Hi lovely đ missing you lots, wondering when youâll be home for XmasâŚâŚâŚ..love ma
Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesnât move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on â neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night â and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curvedâlong lashes kissing the skin under his eyes.Â
Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoonâs room. You canât help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back.Â
you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap
mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!
you: iâm so sorry we lied to you..
you: but iâm really happy with him and he loves me a lot
you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life
Š zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
#sunghoon smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen scenarios#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon smut#park sunghoon x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#sunghoon oneshots#sunghoon imagines#enhypen hard hours#fic.sunghoon
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w e c a n â t b e f r i e n d s
â TAGS â ANGST like rlly bad, toxic relationships, oc and jk dated since they were young, canon au but the boys donât go to the military, arguing (lots), protected sex, cowgirl styleee, jkâs a little mean, dirty talk, jkâs slightly possessive(?), pussy eating under the sheets, slight face fucking and cum swallowing, bad ending oop, hinted cheating but not between oc and jk, does it count if they werenât together ur honor, making out, jkâs a really bad bf, ocâs also quick to jump to conclusions sooo toxic combooo
â WORD COUNT â 9.8 k
Itâs the same thing (over and over) where you fight and break up, then kiss and make-up. The cycleâs everlasting and it feels like youâre just going in circles.
The littlest things were enough to set either one of you off. It could be that Jungkook looked at you some type of way, or that you used a tone he didnât like. You fought over the dumbest things but somehow always ended up back together?
Childhood sweethearts, they called it. You started dating all the way back when you were just teens, Jungkook was a bit awkward around the edges but the sweetest boy ever. It was a miracle your relationship survived after he left to train and then you did too.
But as the years went on it seemed sometimes like the love was fading. It just wasnât the same anymore (evident in your frequent fights). What felt like love once now felt stagnant, like you two just existed in each otherâs world and co-existed together.
Yes he was your boyfriend, and you his girlfriend but that was all. Just y/n and Jungkook. It didnât feel special anymore. When did the love start to die out?
Youâve been thinking about it for a while now in between your breaks from the relationship, and the very thought terrifies you.
âI thought you and Eunwoo were going out?â You softly asked, a bit surprised to see Jungkook still here in the living room.
âChange of plans.â Jungkook shrugs, âSomething came up.â Heâs curt and brief, doesnât even look at you when heâs talking which annoys you a tiny bit but for your sake and his you donât comment.
âOh, that sucks,â you softly say and slip onto the couch opposite of him, âdid he cancel on you or was it just not a good time?â Youâre sitting on pins and needles watching him and his reactions closely.
âI dunno,â Jungkook sighs like heâs exasperated by the conversation, âhe didnât tell me.â You know heâs starting to get annoyed when he does that thing with his tongue inside his cheek.
âYou wanna watch a movie?â You quietly ask. Youâre worried Jungkook didnât hear you at first but a couple of seconds later heâs nodding and holding out the remote to you.
It doesnât feel right. It makes you feel like heâs generously giving you the light of day to entertain your âsilly ideasâ. You donât like it.
You go about picking a movie, not even bothering with asking him what he wanted to watch. You doubt heâd even reply to you, maybe if you were lucky heâd just say âPick whichever one.â
âI heard this oneâs good.â A hum, âCame outâI think, last month..? Yeah.â Another hum, âShould I bring snacks?â Head shake.
You kinda get the memo and shut up after that, the ache youâre feeling still lingering in your heart. The credits roll in and the movieâs starting, you look out of the corner of your eye to get a look at Jungkook. Heâs just sitting there quietly, eyes focused on the TV screen.
It feels normalâlooks normal, but you know and feel that itâs really not.
After arguing with yourself in your head, you finally muster the courage to slip off the couch and into Jungkookâs side. You hide your face in his shoulder and lean against him comfortably. Jungkook doesnât respond for two seconds before heâs casually slipping his hand over your knee.
It feels..good again. You, Jungkook, and his thumb that caresses your knee ever so gently like youâre made of glass. Maybe you really were worried about nothing. It was probably your head messing with you again and making you think things that werenât true.
Are they though? I donât know.
âOh how prettyy,â you softly marvel at the white dress the actress on screen was wearing, âI wanna have one like that when we get married.â
Jungkook doesnât utter a word and at first youâre like okay, itâs whatever heâs been doing this already anyways. You donât really begin to think about it until you feel gentle caresses come to a stop. You turn to him to ask whatâs wrong but you think you have your answer.
âWhat, you donât wanna marry me?â You softly joke but youâre met with silence. He looks troubled, like he wants to say something but canât get it out, â.. Jungkook? Whatâs wrong?â
âItâs nothing.â Jungkook shakes his head, âI was thinking.â
Your stomach does that weird thing again where it feels like itâs dropping. You can hear your own heartbeat ringing in your eardrums too, âAbout?â You whisper.
Jungkook finally meets your eyes with a pinched expression, âI donât know if Iâm sure about marriage yet, I donât think Iâm ready.â He quietly explains, âI donât feel ready. I feel like thereâs so much more I can still do before settling down.â With youâŚ?
Your eyes almost water but you refuse to let them, âSo..you donât want to marry me?â
âWhatâno, I said I wasnât ready,â Jungkook blinks rapidly, âI.. I didnât say that.â He says once he recovers from the initial shock.
âThen what did you mean?â It comes out snappier than intended, âBecause to me it feels like something else.â
Jungkook grows visibly irritated, ây/n youâre blowing shit out of proportion again, I didnât even say anything about you specifically, why the hell are you twisting my words?â
âYou make it sound like Iâm being weird about this, you were the weird one when all I said was a tiny joke. Youâre the one taking it some type of way.â Youâre trembling with adrenaline.
âI was just telling you how I feel,â Jungkook stands up and paces back and forth, âwhy are you being like this? You always wanna say itâs me who starts arguing but look at you!â
Hot tears of anger well in your eyes, âBecause it is always you! You give me weird ass attitudes when Iâve done nothing to you, I barely even talk to you!â
Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes, âIâm not doing this again with you. I just fucking canât, I mean fuck, look at us! All we fucking do is fight, fight, fight and you expect me to wanna marry you? To be stuck with this? No thank you!â
You wipe your tears and stand up, âAnd there it is, at least I know how you really felt. Saved me my time too.â You glare as you pass by him in the direction of his room.
Jungkook shakes his head, âWhere are you going? Itâs late.â He calls out loudly, ây/n, answer me.â
âIâm going home Jungkook, itâs fine weâre done. We donât have to keep doing this anymore.â You look back with dry tears, âIâm done too, Iâm tired of pretending everythingâs okay when itâs not.â
He doesnât respond to that, he knows itâs true. âAt least let me walk you out to the car.â He quietly murmurs.
âNo.â
ây/n, donâtââ
âLeave me alone.â You whisper and storm out of his apartment, away from your home without your heart.
+
It takes three weeks for you to realize that heâs not coming back. He hasnât texted or called and suddenly it feels real. You were in deep denial the entire time thinking maybe heâd come around and you could talk it out like you always do. He never showed.
You donât like this, it hurts like a deep ache you canât seem to get rid of. You find yourself choking up every time you think about him, you donât want this. You never wanted this.
âFuck, please,â you whisper shakily. A few rings go by and then you finally hear him.
â..y/n?â
âJungkook, I need you.â You softly whisper into the phone, âPlease..?â He goes silent on the other end and with each passing beat youâre more worried and anxious.
âWhere are you?â He softly replies.
âHome.â You quietly croak, the relief filling you in an instant.
âOkay, stay right there Iâm on my way. Please justâjust sit tight okay?â
You nod like heâs right here in the room telling you face to face, you donât even know why. He stays on the phone with you in comfortable silence, you hear when he leaves his apartment, when he starts his car and when he finally pulls into your parking garage.
âIs the door the same code as before?â Jungkook asks quietly.
âYeah..â
âOkay, Iâm here outside.â He hangs up the call briefly and then you hear the beeping noise of your front door unlocking.
The sight of Jungkook has your heart breaking into millions of pieces when you realize heâs not yours. Not anymore. You blink away the fresh tears welling up, he visibly softens and holds his arms out for you.
âCome here.â He softly murmurs. You donât waste a second and cross the living room into his arms in an instant.
Jungkook wraps his arms around you tightly and holds you against his chest. He shushes you softly and sways side to side while you softly cry into his chest. He whispers everythingâs going to be okay but itâs notânot with him not by your side.
âSit, Iâm gonna go bring you some water.â Jungkook softly says as he leads you over to the couch.
You nod quietly and watch with red rimmed eyes as he walks off into your kitchen. Thereâs a million things running through your head right now but you were more concerned with Jungkook. You hated how distant he was, it felt alien-like and weird.
âHere,â Jungkook murmurs as he comes back with the glass of water, âI brought some tissues too.â
You quietly accept with a soft thanks as you wipe your nose and take a tentative sip of water. He watches you with pity in his eyes, and you donât want him to look at you like that. It makes your skin crawl and leaves you frustrated because you didnât want his pity.
You just wanted him.
âSo what happened?â Jungkook quietly asks after a few minutes of letting you gather yourself.
âI miss you and it just hurts so bad the way things ended. Iâve been regretting it and it hurtsââ You canât even finish because youâre already tearing up again and Jungkook hushes you softly.
âI know,â he solemnly says, âI know it does. Trust me youâre not the only one feeling like shit about this, you think itâs easy for me to let someone Iâve loved walk away after years? Itâs fucking hard.â
He sighs shakily, âBut I know that if I truly did love you and wanted the best for you, Iâd do this. I just canât keep up anymore, all the arguing is just not good for us y/n and you know it.â
âI know, I know.â You say into your hands with a sniffle, âBut I donât feel like letting go.â
âMe neither,â Jungkook gently brings your hands into his and looks into your eyes, âbut we canât keep going like this. We tell ourselves itâll be fine but itâs not, it never is.â
You stare silently into eachothers eyes until Jungkook finds his voice again, âWhich is why I think we should just take a break for I donât know how long but we need to work on ourselves. If you truly loved me like I do to you, youâll let me go and work on myself. Youâll want me to get better.â
And itâs true. Youâve only ever looked out for his best interest and wanted nothing but good things for him. But is it so bad to want to be a little selfish?
âI know.â
âSo you understand we have to actually put in the effort if we want this to work out in the future? We canât half ass this and rush into things anymore, thatâs not how I want it to be between us.â He whispers softly.
You look at Jungkook miserably, âYeah, I get it..â You quietly say, âI just..just promise me youâll still be here in the end.â
Jungkook cups your cheek gently and smiles which doesnât look genuine, it's a more sad bittersweet smile. âIâll be here.â
âOkay..â
âOkay.â
+
Youâre not together but it doesnât feel like youâre not together? You donât know how to explain it but itâs weird.
Before it was obviously a shitshow with all the arguments and whatnot. Several things actually like Jungkookâs attitude and his weird bipolar moods, and then you with your misinterpretations and spiteful words. Itâs different now.
It almost feels like youâre happier with him now than before when you two were actually together. Itâs funny that it takes a break up for you two to start being civil and lovingâmore than before actually. You donât act like exes, and you both know you donât.
Exes donât call each other every night to ask how their day went, neither do they sleep over or cook for each other. Itâs one thing to call up your ex from time to time but everyday? Were there no boundaries because you two clearly needed to set some.
Your friends tell you theyâre proud but you donât feel so good knowing youâre still going back to him every night. Sometimes you fuck, sometimes you donât, most days heâll just want company or someone to come with him to shop for groceries. You do all these things telling yourself youâre just here for support, nothing wrong in that right?
Thereâs nothing wrong with being friends with your ex, right? Thatâs all it is, just friends.
âHold on, I'll be back, I got a call.â You excuse yourself from the table and head into another room for more privacy. âHello?â
âHey, are you doing anything right now?â Itâs Jungkook again and it makes your tummy flutter with butterflies at the sound of his voice.
âUhh, not really? Iâm just having some dinner with friends, why?â
âNo reason I just wanted to see if you could come over and maybe we can watch a movie or somethinâ. I also realized I might have ordered a little too much fried chicken, old habits die hard I guess.â He jokes softly.
You think itâs a little cute and you canât help but say yes right away, âLet me finish up real quick and Iâll head over in a bit.â Youâre smiling like an idiot right now.
âI can come get you..? Only if you want me to though.â
âThat sounds good to me, text me when you get here then.â You softly say, âBye.â Itâs a little awkward not saying âlove youâ but then you remember youâre not technically together and your entire mood is soured a little.
Shit, what are you going to tell the girls? Something came up and you have to go? No, theyâll ask and youâre a horrible liar. Plus youâre stressing out a little over how youâre going to leave undetected, what if Soyeon tries to walk you out to the car or something? You donât drive but Soyeon has a habit of walking you out whenever you leave her house (god bless).
Itâs moments like these that make you wish Soyeon wouldnât offer, just for today.
âHey whatâs up?â Soyeon says when she sees you re-enter the room, âEverything good?â
âYeah but I forgot I had a meeting coming up, itâs about a comeback coming up soon and they need me for creative directing or something. Point is I gotta go guys, sorry.â You donât like lying to them like this but theyâre gonna give you shit and right now you donât want to hear it.
âOh cool, okay then weâll hang some other time then yeah?â Soyeon smiles as she begins pushing her seat back. Oh no.
âStay here itâs fine, the carâs almost here anyways and itâs a bit chilly outsideeee so stayyy.â You whine while pushing her back into her seat, âAlso Miyeonâs literally here, keep her company donât be rude.â
Both girls look confused as Soyeon raises a brow in question, âMiyeonâs fine she sees me almost everyday. Just let me walk you out weirdo.â
âYouâre not even wearing shorts Yeon, just sit this one out Iâm good. Iâll text you when I get in the car and stuff okay?â Soyeon doesnât look convinced but she nods anyways and agrees to let you go reluctantly, âBye!â You wave and hurriedly make your way out after Jungkook texts you heâs here.
âByeee.â Once youâre out the door you let out a sigh of relief you didnât know you were holding in. Why was that girl so damn stubborn? You love her to death but now was NOT the time.
jk: outside
You hurried down the hall and to the elevator. Jungkook was waiting for you in the parking lot outside of his car, just leaned back against the hood of it with his hands in his pockets. âAre you cold?â He asks as soon as you come in front of him.
âA little bit,â you smile and sink into his warm and welcoming embrace, âyouâre super warm though.â
Jungkook chuckles quietly and strokes your hair, âHere Iâll give you my sweater.â He shrugs it off and holds it out to slip you in it, âYou look funny.â He laughs.
âYour face is funny.â You stick your tongue out meanly meanwhile he laughs, âAlright hurry up, Iâm cold and hungry.â You pull away from him and head to your side of the car, happily sighing as the warm air from inside hits you.
âI thought you ate already.â Jungkook snorts in amusement as he slips into the car.
âWell Iâm hungry again.â You grumble.
He doesnât respond verbally at least, he shifts the car into drive with a tiny smile on his face. You find yourself leaning back into your seat with a soft smile of your own. Times like these you were able to just sit back and forget about everything and anything. The only thing that mattered right now was you and Jungkook.
Thatâs it.
.
The movie ended up becoming background noise over the soft sounds of Jungkookâs lips meeting your own over and over again. The food lays discarded on his coffee table, half-eaten with a couple of soju bottles littering around the boxes.
It feels good like this with Jungkookâs hand tangled in your hair and his other settled over your hip. Youâre sitting halfway in his lap, the angle a bit awkward but doable nonetheless. You hear him release a low grunt in his throat, lips smacking wetly over your own as he tightens his fingers on your hip.
You thread your fingers through his hair, stroking over his head gently pretending to not notice how he leaned into your touch eagerly. You barely even notice when he impatiently drags you onto his lap and sits you firmly over his thighs, your own bracketing his hips and closing him in.
âJungkook,â you quietly sigh while bearing down on him and grinding over the thick bulge in his joggers.
âYeah..?â He replies through a quiet sigh as his half-lidded eyes watch down below between you two where your clothed cunt is pressed tight to his hard cock.
You canât reply because youâre caught off guard by a bubbling moan in your throat. You find yourself gripping the collar of his shirt tightly between nimble fingers when he suddenly bucks his hips up sharply. The print of his dick presses tighter against your slick folds, the head messily bumping into your throbbing clit.
Jungkook lets out a ragged groan as he tilts his head back and parts from the messy kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips. He guides your hips with both hands as he rolls you over his cock and holds you down to keep you in place. It makes your breath hitch and a stuttered moan slip from your lips.
âFuck..â You pant softly as your toes curl, âNeed you so bad.â You whisper in between the short rough grinds.
He bites his lip harshly and reaches down to unbutton your jeans, you help him slide them off as he hooks his fingers under your panties and tugs them to the side. You feel his fingertips slide through your messy folds, circling over your swollen bud and pressing down with the pads of his fingers.
The slideâs pretty slippery, you barely feel his touch but the pleasure bubbles over and leaves you tingly and hot down there. Jungkook teases you by dipping his fingers low against your fluttering hole that greedily squeezes around nothing. âDonât tease,â you mutter softly and lean forward to press kisses against his jawline.
âFuck, wait.â He reaches over and blindly pats the sofa for something you canât really be bothered to look at. A low hum leaves him when he finally finds what he was looking for: condom.
You watch him bite the foil open and reach down to shove his sweats off, the way his dick slaps against his stomach has you squirming in anticipation. He hisses low through his teeth as he strokes the tip slowly before rolling the condom on. You watch hungrily as his cockâs engulfed in the thin rubber, standing hard ân tall with a beady pearl of precum getting trapped within the condom.
âGood?â He mumbles once he positions his cock under you, the tipâs barely brushing over your hole before youâre whining at him for more.
âIâm good,â you wrap your arms around his neck and tug him closer, ânow fuck me..please?â You say after a couple of seconds of silence.
Jungkook huffs out a breathless laugh and shakes his head, âYouâre cute.â His amused tone dissolves into a low moan when you start pushing his cock in, inching yourself down until your perk ass meets his thighs with a low pap noise.
Fuck you forgot how full he makes you feel when you ride him, your poor little cuntâs all stuffed up with his fat cock. It doesnât help that thereâs a little sting from the stretch with the way your pussy hugs his cock tightly. Jungkook though looks blissed out, he bites his lip and watches through hooded eyes, heâs moving his hands to grip your hips tight.
âFeels so good,â you slur out and start bounding idly, not too fast or slow, âfeel..full.â Your tone comes out lewd and borderline pornographic. Can he blame you? His dick always fucked you stupid, turned you into a little yapper too.
Jungkook grunts quietly, âYeah? Youâre gonna be a good girl and ride me like you mean it baby?â The words slip out of his filthy mouth like nothing, you almost forgot the nasty shit he used to tell you when he was plowing your brains out on a Tuesday night.
âY-Yeah,â you gasp softly as your eyes flutter shut when he hits that one spot you like, âso, so good Jungkookie,â you whine quietly while rocking your hips back and forth, your cunt greedily swallows him up through every push and tug.
Jungkook groans low and moves his hands to settle over your ass cheeks, he grips each cheek in his hand and squeezes, kneading the flesh under his palms. âShitâlike that,â he huffs softly as he guides your hips in smooth fluid grinds, âso fuckinâ good.â He groans again and tosses his head back.
You bite on your lower lip to supress your whimpers, your hips bounce lightly in his lap with a low fopping sound as Jungkookâs cock coaxes more slick out of your pussy. Youâre dripping through the sides as a low squelch emits from your sopping cunt. Through the soft moans and grunts you thereâs a skin on skin slapping sound your ass makes when they meet his thighs.
âOh, fuck.â You whisper, breathing picking up as your hands slide down to settle over his abdomen for purchase.
Jungkookâs lips part, eyesbrows pinching together in concentration as he watches you fuck yourself languidly on his cock. His body lightly rocks upwards from your eager bouncing, the slapping noises only get louder the more you grow desperate. He canât help but land a hard smack on your cheek, watching in satisfaction as you mewl from both pain and pleasure.
âYou like that baby?â He breathlessly asks, âLike being slapped around like a slut? Hm?â
âY-Yeah,â you gasp shakily and throw your head back, âlove it so much Jungkookie,â you mewl.
Jungkook moves one hand from your ass up to your head, fisting the back of your hair and forcing you to expose your neck for him. âHow much?â He grunts low, âWhose cock makes you scream like this?â
You swear the ache in your skull from him yanking on your hair makes you even wetter. The throbbing in your pussy has you wildly grinding against him for more, you canât even reply because of the uncontrollable moans youâre letting out right now.
âAnswer me,â he hisses with another smack to your cheek.
âYou do! Only you,â you softly sob as he stops you and holds you in place, âplease âm so close, wanna cum.â You try to bounce, move, anythingâbut heâs not letting up as he holds you in place and leaves you squirming all over his cock.
âCum.â Jungkook darkly murmurs as he begins fucking into you from below, his sharp thrusts send you flying into his chest as you cry out.
He drives his cock right up against your g-spot with each hit, the living room quickly fills with the sounds of his balls hitting your ass and the couch creaking from the weight. He doesnât hold back on his moans either, heâs cussing and groaning under his breath as he uses your pussy to his liking. You on the other hand..
âJungkook..!â You feel your pussy clamp down and you reach down to rub at your clit in fast circles, trembling and whining as your orgasm approaches fast.
He grips your cheeks tighter and spreads you open as he fucks his cock in and out of your sloppy cunt. Your mouth falls open as the wind is knocked out of you, youâre coming fast and hard as stars explode behind your eyelids. You feel like a ragdoll in his hands as he fucks away into your oversensitive cunt.
âShitânearly there baby,â he whispers as his eyes flutter shut in pleasure, âoh fuck.â He grits his teeth and bucks up hard until his hips are stuttering in their pace and heâs groaning loud.
You wish he wasnât wearing the condom as you feel every little throb and twitch inside. It makes you drool at the thought of his hot thick cum filling your ruined little pussy, itâd probably drip afterward too..
âGood?â He quietly asks as he tries to catch his breath.
You end up laying your head on his shoulder for a couple of seconds, enjoying the way he rubs your back gently in a comforting manner. âYeah, âm okay.â You softly reply while clinging to him like a koala.
Jungkook hums, you donât go home after that, or the day after.
+
âDamn when did it get so hot?â Taehyung complains under his breath, âSwear it feels like the weather was cooler yesterday, donât tell me summerâs already coming.â He groans.
Jungkook hears Hoseok grunt in agreement, âCan you believe springâs almost over though? Weâre like a month away from summer starting.â
âWhat? No way.â Jungkook frowns, it canât be, the last time he spoke with you wasâ
âYou realize weâre in the last month of spring right?â Taehyung looks at him weirdly with a snort, âHave you been living under a rock or something?â
Hoseok joins in on the teasing but Jungkook doesnât think itâs so funny anymore. Not when he realizes itâs been almost two whole months since you and him decided to take a break. He hasnât really kept up with your life like that, the last time he spoke was when he asked if you were home and then he did go over and you guys ended upâ
Holy shit.
âJungkook,â Hoseok calls out, âyour phoneâs ringing.â By the looks on their faces they know whoâs calling right now. Hoseok looks mildly disappointed and Taehyung just seems tired of it.
âAre you gonna answer it?â Taehyung asks tentatively.
Jungkook looks at your caller ID and then silences his ringer, âNah, Iâll see whatâs up later. Where do you guys wanna go next?â They look at him like heâs crazy and Jungkook sighs, âWhat?â
âWe didnât know you guys were still together, thought the breakup was for good.â Hoseok quietly admits.
Oh. Right, Jungkookâs been talking about how youâve both been separated for a cool minute now. Of course they would naturally think that youâve both finally realized youâre no good and left each other the fuck alone. Heâll never forget their proud faces when Jungkook admitted he walked away from it.
âLook, sheâs a good person and all that but is it really worth it if all you do is fight and tear at each other? I mean itâs not like this is the first time.â Taehyung rambles slowly as Hoseok nods along to every word, âDonât you think that maybe answering her would fuck up all the progress youâve made so far?â
Will it? Jungkook likes to think that maybe heâs doing a good job but clearly not if Taehyung and Hoseok are calling him out on it. Of course they want the best for him too, theyâve been his hyungs since forever (but you were his forever too).
âLook I know itâs bad,â Jungkook sighs, âbut I just canât leave her like that either, itâs wrong. Sheâs been in my life since we were kids Tae, Iâm not gonna just ditch her like that.â
âAnd nobodyâs mad at you for it but Jungkook câmon, you need to set some boundaries for your sake man. You canât fall back into this nasty habit, not when youâre doing so good for yourself right now.â Jungkook knows Taehyungâs referring to his upcoming Golden album release.
âListen, weâre not gonna police you because youâre a big boy and you can deal with your own shit but Iâm just telling you right now itâs not a good idea whatever youâre doing with her right now. The sooner you begin to pull away, the easier it will be when you two finally decide on the future of your relationship.â Hoseok finishes quietly.
Theyâre right and Jungkook hates that they are. As unsettling as the truth is, thatâs just what it is and Jungkook canât change that.
Youâre broken up but why does he still go over? Why does he cook for you two, watch movies in bed like a couple and then fuck you to sleep before the cycle repeats over and over? Did you ever break up to begin with?
âIf you want this to work you need to let go.â Taehyungâs hand comes up to squeeze his shoulder, âSome things were not made to be forever, and unfortunately this is one of them.â
Jungkook looks up at the two men in front of him, theyâve each got reassuring smiles on their faces and for the first time he feels good about his decisions. He makes a mental note in the back of his head to speak with you later on, for now heâll just enjoy this.
+
âI didnât know you and Jungkook were still together.â Soyeon comments upon seeing a sweater she knew was too big to be yours and quite frankly wasnât something youâd personally go out and buy yourself.
âOh, thatâweâre actually not.â You chuckle under your breath, âHe left it here the other dayââ
âThe other day?â Yuqi frowns, âWhat do you mean? I thought you guys havenât seen each other in two months?â You can tell theyâre equally confused about the situation.
âWe arenât together-together, weâre just kinda hooking up here and there whenever we feel like it.â You shrug.
âUh-huh, and he just leaves his clothes too?â Soyeon raises a brow, ây/nâbabe, I love you but what the hell? I thought you and him were completely done already?â She says, Yuqi nodding along in agreement.
Now itâs your turn to look at them confused, âWhat? Weâre just hooking up, it isnât anything bad either I mean weâre doing better now than before.â
Soyeon sighs deeply and sits down, âHave you maybe thought about why things are better now? Because youâre not together y/n, youâre only doing âbetterâ now because you donât have a label to the relationship because youâre both pretending shitâs okay.â
âThis canât be good either y/n, itâs not healthy itâs just gonna lead you both down the same path as before. You guys think that because youâre happy now, the issues arenât gonna be there.â Yuqi shakes her head.
Of course you knew they were gonna start with this but your pride was too strong to admit that they were of course right about this. Itâs something youâve been intentionally ignoring, kind of like if you donât think about it, itâs not true type of thing. Which in itself was a pretty bad mindset.
âBut weâre gonna fix things.â You softly reply.
âAre you?â Soyeon looks like she doesnât believe you, you donât even believe yourself.
Yes, yes, yesâ
âI donât know.â You find yourself saying without thinking, thatâs the truth right? Right..?
Yuqi sighs sympathetically and shakes her head, âItâs time to let go, itâs over y/nâfor good. I know itâs hard love but you have to do it.â
âIâllâŚtalk to him later about it, canât guarantee this but Iâm going to try to break things off permanently.â Youâre just tired of this back and forth with yourself wondering if Jungkook and you are truly going to be okay.
You know you both will be okayâŚjust not together and thatâs what hurts the most to think about. They donât push the topic anymore, something youâre thankful for. The entire time youâre with the girls youâre stuck thinking about Jungkook.
you: come over
You spent at least ten minutes with your thumb hovering over the button before you actually pressed it. It shouldnât be so fucking scary but youâre just extremely nervous right now. Your friendâs words ring in your head over and over again like a mantra and you feel like youâre going mad.
jk: rn?
you: yea, really want to see you
jk: me too.
read.
Itâs the shit like this that makes you question everything. You hate how weak you are because Jungkook can sweet talk his way into your head and you wouldnât be able to stop him. Itâs not like he does it intentionally but still the power he holds over you, itâs stupid.
After the girls left you ended up cleaning the living room a bit, stopping in your tracks when you came across the sweater he left behind. You stare at it for a couple of seconds before slipping it on finding it much more comfy wearing his clothes. You hear the front door keypad beeping before it unlocks and Jungkookâs slipping in.
âHey.â He greets quietly and shuts the door behind him.
You smile up at him and tug on the sweater paws, taking note of the sweaty state he was in, âYou coming from the gym orrrrâŚ?â
âOh yeah,â he laughs, âI just got finished with working out when you texted me. Look at that,â he flexes his bicep to show you, âhot huh?â He grins.
âEw no as if, go take a damn shower you probably stink.â You pretend to cover your nose and gag, giggling when he rolls his eyes at you.
âYeah, yeah whatever.â He walks over to tug you into his arms, âThis my hoodie?â He mumbles, âLooks good.â
You let him lay soft kisses over your pouty lips until youâre pushing him away with a low grumble, âGo shower now, I donât wanna stink of sweat in your hoodie.â You snort.
Jungkook lays one last kiss over your forehead and walks in the direction of your room, âSo mean and for what? Itâs literally my hoodie who cares if it stinks? Iâm gonna be taking it off anyways.â He smirks deviously.
You follow with a unamused look, one that leaves no room for anymore arguments. âIâll wait for you out here,â you flop on the bed and turn on your TV, âgo on, shoo.â
âMeanie.â Jungkook mumbles but makes his way into your bathroom nonetheless.
You catch up on some of your shows you were watching at the moment while waiting for Jungkook to come back out. Youâve long made yourself comfortable in bed, curled up under your soft comforter with the remote in hand. He doesnât come out for at least fifteen minutes or so, you donât really mind because it feels oddly domestic.
âYouâre watching this too?â Jungkook breaks the silence in the room, âIâm on the last episode.â
You barely look at him as he walks over to the bed in nothing but his towel wrapped around his waist. âYeah, I started this like a week ago I think.â You murmur distractedly as he flops in bed with you, âDonât get my pillows wet,â you whine with no real bite to your tone.
âItâll dry.â Jungkook snorts as he lays his head over your blanket covered lap. The two of you fall into silence afterwards with him loosely wrapping an arm around you.
Nothing happens after that, you lay together quietly while the episode runs in the background. Occasionally Jungkook turns to hide his face in your lap, you canât help but slip your hand in his wet hair and gently comb over it, lightly scratching at his scalp.
âWouldnât it be funny if I spoiled it?â He pipes up out of nowhere.
âDo it and Iâm throwing you out towel and all.â You glare as he starts giggling in amusement, âIâm serious, do it and youâre out.â
âI wonât, I wonât.â He says as he lifts his head up, âBut Iâm a little bored,â he pouts and draws circles over your thigh, âI already watched these episodesss.â
âI dunno do something. Go order food or find some in my fridge, I donât know.â You sigh.
Jungkook doesnât reply and instead nuzzles into you, âI have something else I can do in mind..â He trails off and slips his hand under your comforter to stroke your thigh.
You donât say anything, instead you part your thighs for him as a silent âgo onâ. He takes the bait easily and slips under the comforter with a devious grin, âJungkookâ ow, donât bite me you ass. Why did you do that?â
Instead of answering you he just reaches under for the waistband of your shorts, peeling them off alongside your panties in one go. You can feel his hot breath hovering over your pussy, his tongue dips low between your soft folds as he licks a stripe up your cunt.
He circles his tongue around your clit, swiping from side to side and front/back. Itâs enough to have your knees buckling weakly as you reach over the comfort to place your hand where his head would be as you sighed in pleasure.
âLike you better when your mouthâs full.â You find yourself mumbling.
Jungkook grunts in affirmation, he wraps his arms around your and tugs your hips closer to his face. Heâs literally buried in your soft cunt, nose poking at your clit while he licks over your slick lips, sucking on your soft fold with a pleased hum.
You push up with a low moan and angle your hips down so that heâs licking over your swollen clit. âShit, jusâ like that,â you tilt your head back and close your eyes enjoying the sensation of his tongue.
He lays one hand flat over your pelvis and holds you down while he sucks on your clit feverishly. It sends your back arching off the bed from the sudden spark of pleasure. âFuck..!â You hiss out when he engulfs your tiny bud between his lips and sucks.
Jungkook doesnât disappoint. He slurps and licks like no tomorrow while he prods his fingers against your pussy. Youâre literally scrambling to get a grip on him, your pathetic little moans and whines spurring him on as he finally slides his fingers deep.
âMore, gimme more please,â you mewl.
You hear him shuffling around down there so you naturally take a peek out of curiosity. The sight has your mouth dropping in awe when you come across him fisting his cock from under the sheets while he eats you out like youâre the best meal ever.
âComing,â you gasp softly as your fingers tangle themselves in his hair.
Jungkook sucks harder with a hint of teeth, he curls his fingers at the same time and fucks them right up against the roof of your cunt. It has you crying out his name and pushing his head away as your pussy clenches tight and then suddenly youâre gushing all over him.
âJesus,â he whispers and covers your cunt with his hot mouth, licking up the entire mess you made all over yourself.
âCome here.â You dryly whisper after noticing he didnât cum.
He obeys without hesitation, he knows what you want so he climbs up and kneels beside you with his weeping cock over your lips. âYou sure? I donât mind.â He murmurs.
âI want to.â You softly reply and part your lips, âDonât want you to be gentle with me.. I can take it.â You murmur as you engulf the head of his cock slowly.
Jungkook hisses quietly and guides your head until your nose is meeting his groin. You gag around him with the saliva quickly building up in your mouth. He doesnât mind though because he absolutely loves it when you slobber all over him.
âDonât you look pretty with a mouth full of cock?â He grins teasingly despite being minutes away from coming, like he wasnât edging himself before when he was eating your cunt.
You moan unabashedly as tears spring in your eyes. He doesnât waste anymore time after that and begins fucking into your mouth unapologetically. He doesnât even start off slow, heâs desperate to cum and you get it. Youâre salivating at the thought of his cock filling your throat and leaving you sore.
He grips the headboard above to stable himself as he slides himself in and out of your mouth. Jungkook moans under his breath as he bucks his hips rather harshly, just listening to the sound of your gags and saliva dripping.
âSo fuckinâ good,â he mutters, âyou take it so good for me.â
You know heâs getting close when he starts getting quieter and instead puts his attention on his pleasure. The only noise around is the sound of your gagging and his labored breathing. You feel his cock start twitching and throbbing until heâs shouting from the pleasure and coming down your throat.
âShitâstop, stop, stop.â He sighs as he gently pulls you off his cock, âFuck.â He says after catching his breath.
Cleanup is fairly quiet, he helps you change the sheets and get dressed into comfier clothes before youâre both climbing back into the bed and sitting side by side, body to body. It feels all too real and suddenly realization is hitting you hard.
The silence is comfortable between you two, the scene feels a little familiar (you, him, a movie and your head on his shoulder) but you donât comment because it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. Like before, Jungkook caresses his hand over your thigh gently with a comforting grip after.
âWhy did we ever fall out?â You quietly pipe up, âLike where did it all go downhill?â
He stops in his tracks, he doesnât look mad or upset that you brought it up out of the blue. He looks..at ease. âI donât know, but I think it has to do a lot with the fact that we slowly grew out of each other? Kinda like we just lost the love and it wasnât the same anymore, and instead of trying to fix it we just acted like our problems werenât there.â
Jungkook calmly continues after taking in your reaction, âI love you donât get me wrong, youâve given me the best years but I just think we finally grew apart. Think about itâthe fights, the breakups and make ups? We got to a point where we just didnât care anymore.â
âI know, but it still doesnât change the fact that I want you forever.â You softly admit.
âNo you donât y/n,â he replies equally softly, âyou donât want usâthis, forever.â
Itâs like a punch to your gut, why is he saying this? Why is acting like he knows what you want? You know what you want, and you want him. Is he trying to call you a liar? A saner part inside of your head eerily tells you heâs right, you donât want that. You want happiness.
âI do know what I want actually, why are you thinking otherwise? Youâre making a decision for me without even asking me how I feel about this?â You frown and push yourself off his shoulder.
ây/n,â Jungkook pauses briefly before shaking his head, âtrust me I know you donât want this. Itâs not hard and it doesnât take a fucking rocket scientist to see weâre not made for eachother. Iâm sorry I need to tell you like this but whatever the fuck we had is something I sure as hell donât want.â
It literally crushes your spirit because you knew what was coming, you KNEW he was going to tell you the cold hard truth sooner or later. Itâs all everyone's been warning you about and now you have no room to cry about it. You had nobody but yourself to blame for your heartbreak. Not Jungkook, not Soyeon, not Yuqi.
Just you.
âYou know what Jungkook, fuck you.â You fiercely whisper and push yourself off of him, âNo actually, fuck you. You donât get to tell me what I want and donât wantââ
âBecause I know what the fuck I want and itâs not you! As fucking sad as it is y/n I canât do this shit anymore,â he stands up too and begins hazardously dressing himself in his clothes again, âI know what Iâve done is shitty and I hope you can forgive me for it but Iâm not willing to stick around anymore. Not after this.â
You watch in silence as he picks his things up off the floor and storms out. Not one word is spoken throughout the entire ordeal. Jungkook gets his shit and leaves like nothing ever happened, like you didnât tell him to fuck himself and he didnât respond by saying he didnât want you.
When he finally leaves with a loud slam, your resolve crumbles and soft sniffles begin to fill the too empty apartment. You look around the room with red-rimmed eyes, now what are you gonna do?
You fucked up, again.
+
Jungkook doesnât talk to youâdoesnât even textâfor a total of two weeks and counting. You tried distracting yourself with work and your upcoming comeback but it was hard to focus. Not when your mind keeps going back to him and what happened that night.
âYou donât look so good, you sure youâre okay?â Your manager says with a look of concern on her face, âI can wrap things up and we can get you home if thatâs what you want.â
âPlease,â you find yourself nodding, âIâll um let you know later on how Iâm doing and stuff, for now I just wanna be alone.â
They understand youâre not doing well emotionally as of lately so they donât question it when you request to be left alone. They simply wrap it up and call for your driver to take you home. A few staff send you off with tiny gifts and comforting hugs but none are enough to take away from the misery youâre feeling right now.
You make a quick stop at the store on your way home, youâve never felt more dead in your entire life than right now. Even buying groceries proves to be a hard task but you somehow push through it and buy what you need.
The entire time you're there you think about Jungkook, should you call him to clear things up? Apologize for the shitty things youâve ever said and for how youâve acted towards him over the slightest inconveniences?
âThe phoneâs right there,â a little voice inside your head whispers, âjust open up and click on his name, heâs right there.â
Do it, do it, do it, they chant.
Before you even realize it youâre dialing his number, the phone pressed tight against your ear as you wait with a bated breath for him to pick up. Three rings go by until finally Jungkook picks up with a quiet âhelloâ. âHey,â you quietly mumble, âwhat are you doing?â
âNothing much, I was cooking about a minute ago. You?â He sounds distant, like heâs catching up with an acquaintance.
âCool, and nothing either, I just went to the store and bought a few things I needed.â You play with a strand of loose hair, suddenly finding that much more interesting to look at.
âThatâs good.â He murmurs and it goes quiet after that.
Neither of you know what to say right now, you donât even know where to begin. What can you say? Hey Iâm sorry I told you to fuck yourself? Iâm sorry for my shitty ass attitude? Iâm sorry for being a bad girlfriend? Thereâs so much to say but you canât find the words for it.
âJungkook,â you hesitantly say after finding the courage to speak, âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry for everything, I know I fucked up over and over again but I want to let you know Iâm sorry I treated you the way I did and for the things I said.â
Jungkook doesnât say anything and for a second he scares you thinking that he hung up or something. âI know, and Iâm sorry too for the way I acted and shit. I know we havenât been the best but for what itâs worth none of this was ever your fault. Things just didnât end up working out.â
You hate that this feels like a permanent goodbye, it must have really been the last straw for him the last time you spoke. You find yourself tearing up and thereâs a heavy lump sitting in your throat. You donât know whether you want to cry, scream, or run off.
âItâs just hard when I miss you this much,â you quietly reply despite the wobble in your voice.
âI know,â you hear him take a deep breath and before he can reply you hear it.
Thereâs a low shuffling noise in the back, at first you think nothing of it until you realize itâs a feminine voice asking Jungkook if he wants her to help clean up the mess.
Your heart rapidly beats in your chest, the pounding in your ears so loud you swear you feel like youâre going to have a heart attack with how fast itâs going. âDidnât know you moved on already.â
âItâs not like thatââ
âThen what is it like Jungkook? Because to me it sounds exactly what Iâm imagining right nowâdonât try and treat me like Iâm fucking stupid.â You wipe your tears of frustration while pacing back and forth.
âOkay fine, you want the truth: I met someone and Iâm getting to know them, Iâm thinkinâ maybe she can make me happy too. Is that what you wanted to hear from me?â He snaps back.
âWhen.â You coldly demand, the anger you feel right now is astronomical.
Jungkook holds his breath for a few seconds, âA month ago.â
Your entire world stops then and there. So while you and Jungkook were doing these lovey dovey things and still seeing each other, he was already talking to someone new. All this and for what? He found someone new while still using you as an escape from reality (for fun really), and to know he was doing this while having someone on the side waiting?
It makes you sick to your stomach.
âD-Donât you ever come near me. Weâre done, so fucking done. How could you fucking do that to me? You knew how I fucking felt about all this and you went and pulled this? I hate you, I hate you.â You canât even speak, it physically pains you to talk.
Through your sobs you manage to shakily hang up and head for your bedroom. You toss a bunch of clothes on the bed and drag your heavy suitcase out of the closet. You donât know where youâre going, but at this point youâll go anywhere if it means you can get away from this place.
All thatâs left is the sounds of your sobs and clothes shuffling as you stuff them into your suitcase messily. You feel so alone and empty wondering what everyone else in the world is doing right now. Surely not getting their heart stomped on like you, right?
As you're finishing up with your closet, you hear the front door beep and buzz. No, no, no, he is not doing this right now you think while storming out to the living room. Heâs already coming in as youâre stepping out.
ây/nââ
âWhat the fuck are you doing here? I told you to leave me the fuck alone!â You throw a vase in his direction watching him yell out in shock as he barely manages to dodge it.
âFucking hellâcalm down! Youâre gonna hurt yourself!â
âAnd why do you care? You didnât before so whatâs fucking different now!â You wipe your face and stomp to your bedroom with Jungkook hot on your tail.
He tries to grab your arm but you rip yourself away from him in fury which makes him get the memo instantly, âIâm just trying to make sure youâre okay, I donât want you to hurt yourself or do anything stupid.â He stops in his tracks when he sees the state your bedroomâs in.
ây/n..what are you doing?â He quietly asks, his doe eyes filled with surprise and a mix of fear.
You take a deep breath and hold it in for a couple of seconds, letting it out slowly when you feel calm enough to reply, âIâm leaving Jungkook, all thisâIâm done. I had hopes that maybe we could solve things and make it work again but it looks like only one of us wanted this.â You smile sadly.
âI choose myself Jungkook, I did some petty shit and said dumb things and Iâm sorry for it. Looking back on it, it was me who refused to move on. I was so hung up on making things work I just didnât realize I was dragging you down and forcing you to be with me.â
Jungkook visibly deflates with hurt written all over his face, âIâm sorry too, I never meant to lead you on and if I did Iâm so sorry for it y/n. You deserve someone who can make you happy, and Iâm sorry that someone canât be me.â
You stand across from each other in silence. Jungkook looks down at your luggage with his own sad smile, âMaybe..we could be friends?â
âNo,â you softly reply and get back to packing, âwe canât be friends, but Iâd like to pretend.â
âSo this is goodbye then.â Jungkookâs got his own unshed tears ready to fall.
âYeah, I guess so..â
He looks up at you and tearfully smiles, âGoodbye y/n.â
You match his smile with one of your own, âBye, Jungkook.â Maybe in your next life you will both be happy. But not in this one.
For now, itâs only me and maybe thatâs all I need.
+
One year later.
âItâs only gonna be for two weeks, you big baby. Youâre acting like I wonât get on a plane and go see you.â You laugh softly and shake your head, âBesides, I thought you were taking me to the beach in LA?â
âI am! But I wanted you there with me,â Mingi looks at you with pursed lips, âwanted you to see me on stage.â
You canât help but coo and squeeze his cheek, âYouâre so cute, donât worry Iâll make sure I donât miss it.â He smiles happily and you canât help but lean in for a smooch on the cheek.
âOh wait, I saw a guy selling ice cream back there. Wait for me right here, Iâll be back.â Mingi heads back to all the food stalls leaving you there in front of this cafe.
You hum under your breath and check on your messages, replying to friends who slid up on your story asking if you were finally back. It felt good to be home after all that went down before, you really needed the break.
âHold on, I got it, let me carry it for you.â You hear a familiar voice say which instantly has you turning around to look.
Itâs Jungkook and he still looks the same as before minus the hair heâs cut short now and has it in an undercut. You feel weird seeing him again after all this time. Weird in a good way? You donât know, but it isnât bad either. You kinda donât feel anything.
You curiously look over at his girlfriend(?), stopping in your tracks when you notice a pretty ring on her finger. It suits her. You look back up and come face to face with Jungkook who stands there in shock too.
Thereâs a million things you can say or do right now, but you donât. In fact youâre happy for him.
âDid I take long?â Mingi suddenly pops up behind you holding two ice cream cones, âI got your favorite.â He grins foolishly.
You break away from Jungkook and look at Mingi, âThanks, how sweet of you.â You grin and lean in to kiss his cheek again, âReady to go? Iâm kinda tired of being outside.â You complain softly.
Mingi lets you take the cones from his hands and instead wraps his arm around your waist leading you through the crowd of people. Your heart races as you two get closer to Jungkook and his fiancĂŠ. Just for a second you meet his eyes, and then you smile before turning your attention back to Mingi.
Jungkook smiles back and just like that, you move on with your lives.
My love, I wonât wait for your love.
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ă SUMMARY ă â Red Bull's rich girl & Red Bull's golden boy are dating and everyones surprised.
ă PAIRINGS ă â max verstappen x nepo baby!reader
ă WARNINGS ă â suggestive, lestappen sex jokes lol, checo slander?.
ă AUTHOR'S NOTE ă â y/n the founder of idgafstan. of course the title comes from one of my favorite frank ocean songs, super rich kids. y/n's dad is like the Lawrence stroll in this au, so she's a nepo baby (not a driver).
liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and 991,531 others! yourusername we don't talk about my boyfriends thighs enough. ďź maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 MARK L/N IF YOU SEE THIS, THAT WASN'T THE IMAGE / CAPTION WE AGREED ON.. DON'T FIRE ME PLEASE
⼠yourusername BOOO. đ
đ
VERTHIGHS SUPREMACY ⼠redbullracing Y/n.. - Mark L/N ⼠yourusername get an actual instagram you old geezer (love you dad)
user loser trapped in a hot girls body
user THESE PHOTOS OF YOUU >>>
user its always vertiddies... but never verthighs </3
⼠yourusername YOU GET IT!! ⼠maxverstapen1 stop obsessing over my thighs. ⼠yourusername you didn't tell me that last night 𤨠⼠maxverstappen1 Y/NLSMLASJO
user y/n putting her boyfriends job on the line is so funny to me especially when you remember her dad is his boss
⼠user winning the idgaf war fr ⼠user founding mother of idgafstan even
user this is a random combo but not a rando combo but also.. a random combo
user whole time people were shipping her with ethan cutkosky for her to be dating max.. insanity
charles_leclerc ignoring the caption.. and the max photo, you guys are cute! â¤ď¸
⼠yourusername be honest, do yall explore each others bodies after races ⼠charles_leclerc blocked and reported. (NO WE DONT)
landonorris still can't believe i wasn't the first to know about this relationship.. i thought we were friends y/nđ
⼠yourusername i'll give you $3,000 to shut up already ⼠landonorris deal, cash app it to me
redbullracing we don't talk about YOU enough.
⼠redbullracing shit wrong account, don't fire me christian.. or mark. pls. ⼠yourusername I GOT YOUR BACK ADMIN #TRUST. đŤĄ
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,326,493 others! maxverstappen1 My girlfriend everyone.. <3 ďź yourusername
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yourusername no fun caption :( i am wounded </3
⼠maxverstappen1 sorry schatz.. i actually like my job to keep it! ⼠yourusername no worries, i'll just post our messages :) ⼠maxverstappen1 Y/N PLEASE NO ⼠user what are these messages...???? HELLO??
user again, loser inside a hot body
user shes so gorgeous sobs
⼠maxverstappen1 I KNOW RIGHT
user idk if i wanna be her or max...
user my favorite nepo baby couple
yourusername WAIT HOLD ON HOW DID THIS GET 1M LIKES BUT MINE GOT LIKE 900K? NAH GIMME MY LIKES BRO.
⼠charles_leclerc you're not as cool as max đŤľđť ⼠yourusername oh so you doing the bending?? ⼠charles_leclerc WHAT???
user THE MACBOOK PHOTO ARGHH
user i'm so glad you two ended up together. even though no one was expecting it.
landonorris blink if you're being held captive by this woman
⼠maxverstappen1 đđđ.... ⼠yourusername ur fired. ⼠maxverstappen1 You can't fire me, I'm afraid ! ⼠yourusername you're right.. ďź redbullracing dad, fire this man ⼠redbullracing Unless you're able to find us another driver, No. - Mark & Christian ⼠yourusername CHRISTIAN YOU HAVE AN INSTAGRAM.
user can't wait for the verstappen-l/n family photos
user i say we make y/n the red bull formula 1 team principal
⼠yourusername bad idea cus i'd sabotage sergio too much (allegedly) :/ ⼠schecoperez Oh. ⼠yourusername my bad fam, free dinner spot at my house ig
yourusername hey you're pretty cool, we should like make out in my room or whatever
⼠maxverstappen1 Yeah sure or whatever c'mere gorgeous ⼠user i love you guys sm, pls don't die on friday đ ⼠yourusername .. are you the killer?? WHATS GOING ON FRIDAY?? ⼠maxverstappen1 ??? HELLO
yourusername show the verthighs
⼠maxverstappen1 You don't give up do you? ⼠yourusername no and you love it! đ ⼠maaxverstappen1 yeah i do đ
welcome to my first fic! i hope you enjoyed everything :) <3 the faceclaim i used for 'y/n' is meret manon bannerman from katseye! she's gorg. not much i have to say tbh. see you in the next fic ââ DELIA.
#ŕ¨ŕ§. max verstappen.#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x black reader#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen fluff#formula 1 x black reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x black reader#formula one x you#formula one smau
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snoop the fondness, cs55 x reader
part 2 part 3 part 4
masterlist
pairing: carlos sainz x driver!reader
summary: sometimes family is a boy, a girl and her snoopy plushie. sometimes appendixes and lost cars try to get between that.
format: social meadia au
a/n: the readerâs f1 team is never specified in this! so it is completely open to interpretation.
( instagram )
ynraces 18h
liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55 and 1.234.901 others
carlossainz55 18h
liked by landonorris, ynraces and 800.456 others
replies
ynraces
thats my literal baby if u even care
my babyyy my babyyy hes my babyyy say itt to himmm babyyy
carlossainz55
our baby
im his papa
ynraces
papiđđ
liked 16h ago
ynraces
liked by f1, charles_leclerc and 2.234.655 others
ynraces P5 in Saudi! some great points were gained, super proud of the team this weekend, now onto AustraliađŚđş đ.
I wish my lover boy raced đŤśđ but as you can see he had a fight with some appendix guy(? At least he won that one
tagged carlossainz55;
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user1 omg not the drugged up pics and snoopyđ shes not serious
user2 haha snoopy was also in carlos post with his dad so no surprised
carlossainz55 Wow I look handsome in that one
ynraces never looked betterđ
landonorris Oooooh you had to take the plushie
ynraces yes but i regret it cuz he kept telling the nurses that they NEEDED to meet our baby and then I had to explain that it was actually just snoopy
landonorris I NEED THAT VIDEO HAHAHA
carlossainz55 No no those are lies
charles_leclerc No way I need the video too ynđ I bet he was gonna embarrass himself
ynraces check the gc
carlossainz55 You guys are the worst
user3 carlos getting appendicitis wasnt on my bingo card
user4 them having a bet going on wasnt on mine either lol they must be having a field day in that groupchat
( twitter )
( instagram )
ynraces
liked by landonorris, f1 and 1.556.887 others
ynraces in order:
1. Snoopy triying to find my car (is in the sea somewhere idk)
2. Some guy I picked up otw (he only spoke about some surgery he had(? weird)
3. That guy winning his 3rd GP!!! (apparently hes like a driver or something, super cool!! love him and his big brown bambi eyes!!!)
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carlossainz55 Love you tooâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸
liked by ynraces and 6087 others
user1 Did Snoopy find it?
ynraces yes and he sent it to Japan already, baby is efficient
user2 I just let out a scream of relief
user3 omg so glad youre gonna race
landonorris Donât pick weirdos off the streetđ¤Ž
ynraces ur just jealous it wasnât you picking him up u ugly
landonorris đđ Carlos say something
carlossainz55 Ay donât be too mean to Landito
ynraces whatever you say beautifulđŤĄ
user4 I cant wait for Japan and pray for a podium with Carlos and Ynđ They deserve it
carlossainz55
liked by scuderiaferrari, ynraces and 1.933.298 others
carlossainz55 P1 and a special thanks to the beautiful Yn, canât imagine what recovery would have looked like without her inconditional support. Iâm gutted she couldnât race this time, but weâre coming stronger next time. Te amo, mi reinaâ¤ď¸
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ynraces Te amo muchođĽšâ¤ď¸
carlossainz55 yo mĂĄs guapĂsima
user1 a single post for yn, this is so cuteee
user2 this man doesnt have a contract for next year so he WILL be simping for his rival on main, ferrari be damned
scuderiaferrari đŤśđ˝â¤ď¸!
user2 oh hi
charles_leclerc Wow not a single comment about Snoopy, so sad, what would Yn think
ynraces didnât even noticeđ I let the compliments fool me
charles_leclerc You are the worst parents
carlossainz55 Snoppy got his thanks in the hospital, stop inventing!!!!
ynraces HAHAHAHAH
ââ
a/n: hope you liked this!! I wish I had an explanation for this plot but there is nothing, just vibes and snoopy
#f1#carlos sainz#cs55#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz x female reader#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#cs55 x reader#cs55 imagine#snoopycarlos
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âľ × ŰŞ đđđđđđ đđđđđ đđđđđđđđ â°â° × â
TW âË Öş á°Ž
â DESCRIPTION  ੠just some fluff of toto forever adoring y/n and has been saving her a seat for years.
â PAIRING  ੠toto wolff x platonic!reader.
â FILE  ੠social media au (request)
â WARNINGS  ੠none.
â FACE CLAIM  ੠liz of IVE.
⪠main masterlist | f1 masterlist | toto wolff masterlist âŤ
ââââââââââ⪠đ¤ âŤââââââââââ
ynusername
đShanghai, China
liked by zhouguanyu24, georgerussell63, and 988 243 others
ynusername (late) Shanghai dump ! Thanks again Zhou for showing me around đ
ďźćďźä¸ćľˇĺĺžĺşďźĺ揥ćč°˘ĺ¨ĺ
希ćĺč§ đ
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user1 ya'll, in here chinese trans she called zhou "big brother zhou" đđ, that's so cute
user2 if it was anyone else, toto would have never let them post that picture of him đ
âł ynusername đ
zhouguanyu24 always a pleasure y/n ! and btw, ur chinese is getting much better !
âł ynusername well, I do have the best teacher :) [ liked by zhouguanyu24 ]
âł mercedesamgf1 she's off limits guanyu.
âł user3 you can't tell me this ain't toto talking đ
âł zhouguanyu24 I...
âł mercedesamgf1 don't need her coming back home reeking of sauber. back. off.
âł ynusername đŚ (the woman was too stunned to speak)
user4 poor zhou was just tryna be nice and toto just had to go all papa bear on him
ynusername added to their story ! ⢠1hr
seen by lewishamilton, georgerussell63, and 977 243 others
user1 replied to your story !
girl, u underestimate ur power đ
mercedesamgf1
đ§ That's My Girl â Fifth Harmony
liked by georgerussell63, mickshumacher, and 1 232 334 others
mercedesamgf1 our silver arrow princess đŤ.
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user1 how much ya'll wanna bet that toto posted this ?
âł georgerussell63 he did indeed, and I totally saw him smiling like a fool doing it too
âł lewishamilton and I thought I had toto wrapped around my finger, but bro praises the ground she walks on practically
âł mickshumacher the girl gives the word "princess" a whole new meaning
âł user2 help not the merc boys exposing toto đ
ynusername merc 4 ever đ [ liked by mercedesamgf1 ]
user3 toto is literally yn's dad. prove me wrong- oh wait, u can't.
user4 so no one's gonna talk about the song choice ?? okay đ
ââââââââââ⪠đ¤ âŤââââââââââ
anon: Silver Arrow Princess, please 𼺠! Toto Wolff looks like he would be more like girl-dad instead of boss.
#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#smau#toto wolff#mercedes amg f1#ive liz#ive#liz ive#kim jiwon#kpop#silver arrow princess#lewis hamilton#george russell#mick shumacher#zhou guanyu
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Ëâşď˝ĄËâËbows before bros | LN4 Ëâşď˝ĄËâË
pairing: lando norris x actress!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: sooo super fluffy!!
summary: in which a trail of bows leads to everyone's new fav grid couple
a/n: feel like i havent written for lando in ages so here we are!!
request!!!: Iâd like to request an au for lando where y/nâs an actress whoâs getting recognized more and more, sheâs really humble and sweet but pretty similar to lando as a goofy and funny girly(idk why but I picture Sabrina carpenter vibes) đ if u could add a little scene of some of the f1 drivers and wags reacting to their relationship/talking to the media how theyâve never seen lando so happy. Just a sappy and goofy couple living life (manifestingâ¨đŻď¸)
fc: sabrina carpenter
my masterlist
instagram ->
yourusername
liked by reneerapp, sydney_sweeney, and 301,283 others
yourusername sooo where else can i put bows? đ
view all 6,918 comments
user1 omg the bunny is so cute im going to do that
user2 i dont wear bows in a coquette way i wear bows in an y/n y/l/n way
liked by yourusername
user3 i love seeing y/n in her movies so srs then going on her ig & it's jus this
reneerapp put them on your hand soap đĽş
yourusername you make jokes but i really will do that
user4 LOL as u should y/n!!!
user5 oh i love her
sydney_sweeney this is so real of you!!
yourusername i knew you'd get it
sydney_sweeney bows before bros âźď¸
yourusername louder đŁď¸
landonorris
liked by sydney_sweeney, danielricciardo, and 819,055 others
landonorris you got my heart loud.
view all 11,193 comments
user6 okay simp lando?
user7 HUH????
user8 looking a LOT like a soft launch i cant lie to u
user9 thts what i was thinking.....
user10 the bows...... anyone one else thinking what im thinking?
user11 DONT EVEN SAY IT
user12 VERY y/n y/l/n coded
user13 y/n was here vibes
oscarpiastri simp simp simp
landonorris shutup pastry boy
yourusername posted a story
liked by sydney_sweeney, daisyedgarjones, and 89,541 others
user14 so cute ily y/n
user15 my spidey senses are tingling
user16 is this a hint that ur dating lando norris.
user17 feels very very targeted miss y/n
user18 our bow queen đââď¸
twitter ->
instagram ->
landonorris posted a story
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 159,701 others
user22 omg y/n y/l/n is ur gf fr
user23 never thought i'd see the day lando norris pulled
user24 THE BOW AND THE MCLAREN HOODIE AHHH
user25 the most y/n thing i've ever seen
danielricciardo she's made you soft
landonorris she definitely hasnt i'll tell you that much
danielricciardo right. not what i meant but great to know thank you so much
yourusername
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 661,328 others
yourusername feeling orange đ
view all 16,754 comments
user26 oh my god
user27 is this the hard launch
mclaren your best look yet, y/n!
yourusername đ¤ feel very honoured
user28 next we want orange bows
liked by yourusername
sydney_sweeney sports 𤢠but make it girly đ
yourusername me with everything
landonorris it's papaya y/n we've been over this
yourusername there isnt a papaya emoji â¨đđđŤśđ
user29 omg they're first public interaction...?
user30 they're in love i called it.
interviews ->
twitter ->
instagram ->
landonorris posted a story
liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 157,814 others
user36 omg lol
user37 THAT'S Y/N'S CAT
user38 lol at ur response to ur friends saying ur obsessed with a girl is to post her cat on ur story with bows on
sydney_sweeney one of us now
landonorris this feels like a cult
user39 the coquettification of lando norris
user40 the y/nification of lando norris
landonorris
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,091,727 others
landonorris my response to everyone talking about me recently is you would be the same if you bagged a girl like mine
tagged: yourusername
view all 22,183 comments
user41 A GIRL LIKE MINEEEEE
user42 how did he do it
lilymhe congratulations đĽ
carlossainz55 yippee!!
oscarpiastri we are all beyond proud of you lando
danielricciardo good for you bro
charles_leclerc happy for you
mclaren our fav girl!!
yourusername đ¤đ§Ą
user43 all the celebrations in the comments đ
user44 they had no faith in him fr
yourusername blushing and giggling at this!!! i love my lil lando!!!!!
landonorris you what?
yourusername i wont be taking questions at this time
landonorris you love me so bad
landonorris i love you so bad
THE END đ§Ą
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 fic#f1 x reader#smau#f1 imagine#lando norris#ln4#ln4 x y/n#ln4 smau#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you#maddie's smau
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tight knit | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x reader
spa 2021, where a knitting hobby comes in handy
yourusername
liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 401,874 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: hello spa !! one of my fave tracks and i'm so excited for this weekend AND for those who asked, here's my current project, it's a sweater :)))))))
view all comments
user1: oh to receive pics of charles like that
user2: i love how she's like here's my fine ass bf but more importantly here's my update on my knitting
danielricciardo: is the man on the second slide single?
yourusername: HE'S MINE BACK OFF (p.s. i love you dan, but don't joke about that shit i have approximately 200 teenagers in my dms threatening violence everyday over him)
charles_leclerc: cherie, i didn't know that :(
yourusername: i'd fight all of them and more for your hand
charles_leclerc: my knight in shining armour
danielricciardo: okay i was trying to make a joke, it was not an invitation to prove how in love you guys are we get it
user3: i too wish i had a bf rich enough that i could travel and knit full time
pierregasly: have a day off for once
yourusername: keep on like that and you'll never get that panda
pierregasly: but you promised !!!!!
yourusername: be nice then
charles_leclerc
liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 1,208,760 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: calm before the storm at spa
view all comments
user4: now where does y/n get all of these cut head accessories?
yourusername: vinted babes
user5: we love a thrifty queen
user6: storm meaning driving the ferrari shit box
yourusername: wow you look great, banishing me to the row behind you just to take this photo was defo worth it
charles_leclerc: you were there for two mins max then you sat with me stop these false narratives
yourusername: lies it was five minutes cause you didn't like the angle
charles_leclerc: i want to look handsome is that too much to ask
yourusername: you're always pretty baby
user7: can they stop like i am so lonely i can't see this
carlossainz55: let it be known that the only way charles can beat me in chess is with y/n's help
yourusername: nooooooo i never helped i was knitting
charles_leclerc: i wasn't cheating !! y/n was just being nice to me
f1
liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 708,954 others
tagged: yourusername
f1: well, that's one way to spend qualifying's red flag. y/n y/ln spent her time in the ferrari garage working on her knitwear.
view all comments
user10: she said in her spa post it's a jumper i hope it's for charles
yourusername: it is, lord knows that boy needs all the help he can get in the wardrobe department
charles_leclerc: rude !!!! you never say anything
yourusername: you're always so proud i can't tell you it's bad
charles_leclerc: life ruined
yourusername: but you're so pretty no one cares about your criminal trouser collection
charles_leclerc: back handed compliment, but a compliment nonetheless
user11: she's so unbothered i love her
alexalbon: okay but when is my jumper coming @yourusername i ordered it last month
yourusername: it's coming i swear !!!
alexalbon: you let charles skip the line again didn't you
yourusername: maybe ...
yourusername
liked by lilymunhe, charles_leclerc and 481,056 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: hoping for a drier sunday, drowned rat is definitely not my aesthetic
view all comments
user12: the first picture i am going to rip my skin off
charles_leclerc: is this the appropriate time to say save a horse ride a cowboy?
pierregasly: this is why ferrari is a red flag
yourusername: howdy
pierregasly: you people are gross
charles_leclerc: you talk about ur dick at any give opportunity
yourusername: and no one actually calls you tripod
user13: damn.... couples that drag together stay together
pierregasly: ok. i will refrain from talking about your sex life publicly.
user14: i love that y/n posts about knitting just as much as she posts about charles.
yourusername: charles is the side chick
charles_leclerc: it's true i've been told to roll over in bed to make more room for the yarn
f1wagsupdates
liked by user15, user16 and 2,304 others
tagged: yourusername
f1wagsupdates: appreciation post for my favourite wag !!
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user17: i want to be her when i grow up
user18: i need her hair care routine asap
user19: can we stop putting these women on a pedestal for like no good reason?
user20: usually i'd agree but y/n has nothing but kind and a good role model, so if you idolise one wag it might as well be her
user21: her style is so underrated
user22: i need the jacket in the third slide
scuderiaferrari
liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 770,984 others
tagged: yourusername, charles_leclerc
scuderiaferrari: there's two types of people during a red flag at spa
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user23: they're so precious to me
charles_leclerc: i wish i could relax that much in the ferrari garage
yourusername: i am not relaxed, i am actually the most stressed, i just hide it well
charles_leclerc: maybe we'll confiscate the needles for the actual races
yourusername: probably the only wise strategy in that garage
user24: i love how y/n keeps going for ferrari's neck and charles just can't reply
carlossainz55: it's so cold can i get my christmas jumper order early @yourusername ?
yourusername: that's a big queue to skip chilli i'm not sure i can comply with that
carlossainz55: if i changed my name to charles would this change?
yourusername: maybe đ¤
user25: the sky camera is obsessed with her and i am exactly the same thank you for the content
yourusername
liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 508,673 others
tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername: it's a bit cold in spa so charlie's new jumper (just finished) is coming in handy straight away
view all comments
user26: LORD PLEASE I HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS
user27: okay this is cute and all, but DAMN that jumper is so fucking cute y/n is so talented
charles_leclerc: i think the phrase is: came in clutch
yourusername: you're welcome baby
charles_leclerc: i retract my previous statement about confiscating the knitting needles and i will give up more space in bed for the yarn if this is what i get
yourusername: not us having a polyamorous relationship with KNITTING
user28: so like i need y/n to open up a shop
alexalbon: i hope mine comes next
yourusername: i'm on it already albono
lilymunhe: on his jumper or the one for me that he asked for
yourusername: yours obvs
alexalbon: mugged off again
charles_leclerc
liked by landonorris, yourusername and 1,409,874 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: words cannot describe how much i love you (and your knitting). as george would say i am snug as a bug in a rug and it's all thanks to you
view all comments
user29: SNUG AS A BUG IN A RUG CHARLES WHO ARE YOU
yourusername: can they start the race so we can go be snug as a bug in a rug back at the hotel?
charles_leclerc: omw to the fia hq rn
yourusername: thanks baby
georgerussell63: i thought this was my job but thanks charles i guess
charles_leclerc: man of the people and the cuddles
user30: lord i am so lonely
danielricciardo: y/n x enchante collab when?
yourusername: coming to mclaren rn
charles_leclerc: so my cuddles mean nothing?
yourusername: have you seen this man's pricing we'll be rich baby
charles_leclerc: we are rich baby
note: pls enjoy, requests may take a while cause your girl managed to break her finger lol
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc instagram edit#charles leclerc instagram au
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HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.
episode fourteen :: HEAR ME OUT.
ę°ę°ââ§â ⏪Ëâ pairing ︴various, lewis hamilton x y/n
ę°ę°ââ§â ⏪Ëâ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets
ę°ę°ââ§â ⏪Ëâ summary ďšgirl you will not believe who texted y/n
ę°ę°ââ§â ⏪Ëâ face claim ďš wonyoung jang (28)
ę°ę°ââ§â ⏪Ëâ warnings ďš excessive cussing, none.
y/n: iâm sorry who is this?
xxx-xxx: itâs kelly
y/n: ?
y/n: kelly piquet?
xxx-xxx: unfortunately
xxx-xxx: its an emergency.
xxx-xxx: and girl to girl, we NEED to talk.
y/n: OH?
xxx-xxx: i need to see you.
xxx-xxx: will u be at the qatar gp?
y/n: yes!! we can talk there, but is it urgent?
xxx-xxx: i know what youâve seen from me gives u every reason under the sun to not even want to breath the same air as me but this is for your safety.
y/n: i got you.
y/n: see you tomorrow.
â IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
y/n: if youâre available for gossip irl raise ur hand
angel carmen: no bc what where you doing with that demon i thought you knew better
princess george: explain pls đ
chal eclair: hurry up and explain bae, alex is spamming me and sheâs fuming đ
y/n: sheâs spamming me too đ
wifey lily: the girls gc is going OFFFFF
girlfriend kika: for good fucking reason
girlfriend kika: fucking explain yourself y/n
PIERRE GASLYYYY: kikaâs so mad i think she might explode đ
alabono: lily too đ
chili!: well good thing none of them are here bc y/n would gotten assaulted
angel carmen: yeah
babygirl alex: exactly
girlfriend kika: what carlos said
wifey lily: hm.
y/n: đ
y/n: meeting in georgeâs drivers room?
my baby lando: on my way !!!!
chal eclair: we all are
︴# â¸â¸ : â
real life ÂĄ â â¸â¸ ďš ďš
âeveryone here?â y/n asks as everyone tried to cram in between two chairs and a sofa. âyepâ carlos squeaks with charles and lando on top of him on a lazy chair, âyeah, mateâ george says, him, alex, and pierre on the sofa while daniel and yuki shared the second chair.
âgirls?â y/n looks at her laptop. kika, carmen, alexandra and lily were on a zoom call. âall hereâ kika gave a thumbs up as y/n sat in the middle of the floor. âgirl.â y/n says, âoh, this is gonna be goodâ lando giggles, âso kelly originally texted me the day champagne, sex and anxiety dropped and i didnât recognise the numberâ y/n began.
âi thought she was someone else because the number was unknown but then she was like âgirl to girl we need to talkâ, so i was a bit like, oh?, yâknow?â y/n says as she passes her phone to the boys so they can read the messages.
âand when we met earlier, she was like-â
âsorry, did i miss anything?â lewis rushed into the room, seemingly a bit out of breath. âno, it was just about to beginâ carmenâs slightly distorted voice says. lewis not so subtly checks y/n out, licking his lips, pierre and daniel give each other a knowing look with charles and lando give y/n a little smirk and she mouths âshut upâ.
âis that a chair?â george chuckles, lewis placed a chair he had brought with him next to the sofa and shrugged, âwell, i knew there wouldnât be space hereâ lewis said as he set the chair down. he was about to sit when he notice y/n was on the floor, âwait, you come sit on itâ lewis tells y/n.
âno, no, itâs okayâ y/n smiles, âdoll, i donât want you sitting on the floor, itâs coldâ lewis shakes his head. the rest of the drivers all quietly giggle and nudge each other as the girls text each other something about how lewis was calling you âdollâ in front of everyone.
âwell itâs here if you need itâ lewis says as he sits on the chair.
âguys, hold on, so, what did kelly say?â alex asks.
âyeah, she was like âi got your number from maxâ phone, sorry to contact you on your personal number, blah blah blah, how was your day?â all that, but that doesnât matterâ y/n continued, âbro, sheâs breaking up with maxâ
charles gasps, âno, sheâs not!â
âdid he cheat on her too?â george asks
âhere we go againâ yuki chuckles.
so many questions were being asked all at once, âboys, shut up so we can understand!â kika exclaimed and the boys quickly settled down again. âtheyâre breaking up because of meâ y/n added and the noise began once more.
âshe better not be blaming that on youâ lando rolled his eyes.
âwhat do you mean because of you? you didnât do anythingâ carlos frowned.
âi just know he cheated on herâ yuki laughs.
âoh my god, all of you shut up!â lily exclaims.
âno, no, wait, max has been, allegedly, loosing his mind. kelly said that ever since they announced their relationship, hes been obsessing over me. to an almost dangerous levelâ y/n begins again. âdefine obsessingâ george says.
âkelly said that when heartbreak syndrome came out, he was hyper fixated on the songs. he would analyse each song, line by line to figure out which line are about him.â y/n explain. yukiâs eyes widened while charles, lewis and lando physically recoiled. âhe also tried to send me a cease and desist because some of the songs were âtoo specificââ she added.
âand also-â
âno, hold on, can we talk about this? because my body had a visceral reactionâ lando interrupted with a dramatic hand on his chest. âyeah, thatâs a bit muchâ lewis nodded, pierre muttered something into his hands while carlos looked just befuddled.
âwait, y/n, thereâs more? you said also?â carmen frowned. âyeah, so, remember when kelly used to copy me on social media, girl, hold onâ y/n got up and began pacing around the room, âapparently, max was forcing her to copy me so she looked like the crazy obsessed oneâ y/n said, âshut up, no he did not!â pierre said, âgirl, yes he did! because he was stalking my accounts with her accountâ she added.
âwhat the fuck?â carlos asked and daniel had a frightened look on his face. everyone in the room had shocked looks on their face as they stared at each other. all those months of what seemed like kelly copying and shading y/n was all of maxâs doing. âshe also said that when i signed with mercedes, he like, lost it.â
âlost it? or lost it?â kika asked, âlost it.â y/n answered. âhe was up there breaking things, screaming, crying, just loosing his mindâ y/n explained. âheh, he just like me for realâ lando chuckled, then everyone glared at him. âiâm so funnyâ he added.
âdid she mention the billboards thing?â daniel asked. y/n nodded as she stood next to lewis, placing a hand over his shoulder. lewis, almost subconsciously, wrapped his arm around y/nâs waist. charles and george smirked at y/n and she gave them a look that said âI will throw my shoe at youâ. âkelly overheard max literally orchestrating the whole thing on a phone call with the red bull employees, and not only were they going to burn billboards, they wanted to burn the merch stands and my signing booth.â
âokay, what the fuck?â carlos asks again as the girls gasp. âoh? oh, he was serious seriousâ charles says as he half covered his mouth in shock. âwhat do you mean the signing booth? you couldâve gotten hurt.â lewis tightened his grip on y/n, as he says with a frown making daniel and alex nod in agreement. âyeah! that couldâve gone really fucking badâ yuki crosses his arms over his chest.
âI wanna say something crazyâ y/n began.
âyeah, letâs notâŚâ carmen said, âletâs use our critical thinking, maybe, just maybe, we shouldnât do crazy things!â alexandra sarcastically giggled, âmax was doing crazy things and look where that got himâ she added. âdepends on what the crazy something isâ daniel said, âhey! donât enable her!â kika scolded him making him raise his hands, âiâm just saying that if-â
âI want to talk to max.â y/n said, and everyone went quiet.
âwhat?â alex, george and carlos asked in unison, looking confused. âreally?â charles asked as him, lando and pierre looked grossed out. âwoooooowâ yuki deadpanned, him and daniel were visibly upset. alexandra and carmen sighed in disappointment and lewis.. looked angry.
âyouâre not seeing himâ lewis said.
âbutââ
âno you-â lewis inhaled deeply before continuing, âdoll, he couldâve hurt you. you heard what his girlfriend said.â he said as he stroked her waist. charles and lando smirked at her, âwhat did I just say?! critical thinking skills!â alexandra frowned.
ây/n, babe, i donât have the patience.â lily said with a huge fake smile, y/n put her hands up defensively; âbut i have a plan, okay, here me out.â she says.
âokay, let her cook-â lando began, only to be swiftly cut off by george, âno! sheâs done cooking for today. banned from the kitchen.â
âguys, oh my god, please.â y/n whined, âi just wanna ask him about some things!â she added. yuki sat up, âiâve been saying, let me speak to him for months but no one is letting me near him.â he crossed his arms over his chest. âyouâre gonna stab him, bro, no!â pierre half chuckled, ââŚfair.â yuki grumbled.
âthere is nothing, nothing, that you and that sloth can talk about.â carlos began, ânot a single thing.â he added. âbut!â lando clapped, âokay.. devilâs advocate-â
âshut the fuck up.â the girls cut him off, and he placed the dramatic hand back on his chest.
ây/nâ lewis said with a soft smile as he pulled her on his lap. george and alex elbowed each other while charles, lando and carlos tried their best (worst) to keep their giggles down, and yuki and pierre took photos to send to kika later.
y/nâs heart beat a bit faster and she founded herself at a loss for words, âyouâre not safe around him. if thereâs something you want to ask him, ask his girlfriend to communicate it to him. thereâs no reason for you to break no contact after all he did. heâs disrespected you and your name in public, has stalked you, damaged private property with your face on it, do i need to keep going?â lewis asked.
y/n shook her head, ân-no, you d-donâtâ she quietly answered.
âso what are you gonna do?â lewis asked, ânot talk to max⌠privately.â she answered, he was nodding along, then he stopped. âyou⌠what?â
ây/n, i will leap through this screen and stab youâ alexandra threatened. âcan we hear her out?â lando asked, âno!â the girls jumped at him again, the dramatic hand returned for a third time, âyouâre just gonna let them yell at me like that?â he whined
âmaybe you should hear me out!â y/n said, and there was a loud, collective of disappointment and annoyance. âand, yes, theyâre your aunts, im your mother.â she answered lando.
âlisten, next grand prix, all of you can be there, i just wanna ask him about the bullshit that heâs been doing.â she explained.
everyone looked at each other then at y/n, âreally?â charles asked, âplease?â y/n begged. âiâm in! sounds messyâ lando giggled. kika chuckled, âno wonder youâre a PR nightmare.â
#â â ÂĄh4m1lt0ns!ËââşËł .#heartbreak syndrome#f1 x y/n#f1 fanfiction#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 x you#lewis hamilton x reader#carlos sainz x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#george russell x reader#yuki tsunoda x reader#pierre gasly x reader
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So, still in the au of âsecrets: Spencer Reidâ..
I wanna see the teams reactions to reader and how cute Spencer is with her and how protective she is of him.ďżź Maybe Spence gets a little drunk and reader has an arm locked around him with a possessive scowl on their face. Pleeaasee??
you ask and you shall receive! iâm glad you enjoyed secrets, anon<3 sorry this is so late :(
secrets p. 2. spencer reid
spencer reid x fem!reader
part 1 | part 2 ⥠this can be read as a stand-alone though!
summary: everyone expected spencerâs plus one to be his grandma or a close friend visiting. to see him show up with you hanging off his arm, clad in a black dress and rubbing your blood red lips together, you become the talk of the night.
warnings: fluff fluff just straight fluff!! spencer introducing his gf to the fam, teasing, drinking, flirting , nothing out of da norm. r is tough and possessive and spencer is basically her girlfriend.
a/n: someone take pinterest away from me because iâm getting too good at scouring for mgg stills and staring at them for hours. tell me you didnât stare at that picture too.
spencer texted morgan that night, telling him that heâs bringing a plus one. morgan responded with a curt âyea bring ur ma on over why not.â
it appears that morgan did not take spencer that seriously. so he texted garcia, and she responded with âwhich member of the family havent we met? â¤ď¸â spencer was just midst of falling on to his knees.
the day rolls around and spencer dreads it, plots a plan to make you watch a star wars movie marathon so that youâd fall asleep by the time of the event. heâs not a social recluse, by any means (okay so sometimes he is) but he prefers an evening staying in over going out. and itâs sunday evening, too, and he just wants an early night and to kiss you lazily until heâs sleepy. he doesnât want to start the car, doesnât want to get dressed up and get tidy for the bar. doesnât wanna go anywhere.
the marathon plan backfired on him. just as youâre halfway through the third movie, you start pushing the throw blanket off your bodies, nudging spencerâs arms off of you. spencer whines, and he tries to make himself look extra pathetic (which didnât take much, considering how heâs already desperate to get out of meeting the team) so that youâd pity him.
you donât fall for his act one bit, which is extremely humbling to spencer. his puppy eyes used to work on you, but he suppose youâve grown an immunity to them. âlazy boy,â you chides. he hides his face in the crook of your neck and you laugh. âcome on, weâll be late.â
âfashionably late,â spencer quips. you laugh again, detangling your bodies and press a kiss on his cheek before leaving the living room. spencer sits on the couch for a while and contemplates.
he does end up dragging his ass off the couch and freshen himself up. you have decided to use the guest bathroom for some reason, and he gets ready by himself, shaving before throwing on a simple burgundy sweater with all kind of patterns on it and some black pants, smoothing his hair out a bit and tucking them neatly behind his ears.
he rubs at his chin, looking at himself in the mirror. he looks like a middle school civics teacher, but he couldnât careless.
he grabs his phone and slides it in his back pocket, going to the closed guest bathroom door. he knocks softly, leaning in close to not miss your voice.
âyn?â
âalmost there,â you respond through the door.
âcan i come in?â
âuhh,â spencer frowns. itâs unusual youâre doing this. you guys have shared an apartment for five months now, and heâs basically learned to lived around your life, to always have you wherever. getting ready apart is definitely unusual, and youâre being hesitant about letting him in, even.
maybe youâre still mad about the lila thing. he should apologize the moment he gets the chance.
âsure honey,â you say finally. spencer cautiously opens the door, and youâre sitting on the bed, pulling up your black pantyhose. he melts and perks up simultaneously at the sight of you.
youâre wearing a shiny, black silk dress that goes halfway down your thighs, the material pooling on the white sheets as you adjusts the pantyhose, reaching for your matching black leather mary janes. spencer looks down at himself, feeling timidly underdressed. you look up and smile at him so easily as if you're not the most beautiful woman in the world.
spencer feels his throat clog up. he clears it but when he speaks his voice is still blurry. "hi."
"hi," you buckle up your mary janes, gold necklace hovering above your knee. spencer stands awkwardly at the door, too entranced to move. you look up when he doesn't answer immediately, and breathe out a laugh when you see the dumb, starstruck look on his face. "gonna stand there all night baby?"
"mhm," spencer says absentmindedly. he finally bounces off the door frame and carefully sits himself on the bed next to you, cautious with every move. he immediately gets a faceful of the scent of your perfume and you look like an angel, smell like one too. "new dress?"
"mhm, thrifted it the other night," you respond. you stand up from the bed and do a small twirl, the thin fabric forming the shape of a flower, flying. you remind him of a black cherry blossom, if those even existed. "you like it? found it for four dollars. can you believe that? deal of a lifetime. if i had gotten to the thrift later someone would've snatched it right up."
to be honest, spencer isn't listening to a single word you're saying. he stares at you, and your silver hoops and crinkling eyes and the silver necklace he gifted you for your birthday five months ago and gets dizzy with the thought of how lucky he is.
"crazy deal," he says. then blurts. "you look beautiful."
you smile playfully. "you're just saying that," you laugh, smoothing out your hair in the mirror installed in the wardrobe. spencer stares at your reflection. "looking dapper yourself, doctor."
"do you think i should change?" he asks. because right now, it looks like you're both dressing up for different events. him to a school-based textbook debate conference and you to a high class art museum. neither events are the actual event you are both going to.
"you look handsome, spence," you reassure him. "that sweater. it suits you."
"it doesn't suit the bar," spencer grumbles quietly, still upset that he has to show up. he's not a bar man. more of a picnic or joinery kind of guy.
"you weren't born to suit whenever you're going," you say and then grab his hand. "we're gonna be late."
***
spencer gets even more grumbly when you both enters the bar, but you know in his heart he's extremely happy. he practically lights up when he sees his team crowding at a booth, dragging you along by the arm. he says hi to everyone, immediately comfortable just from the presence of his team except his excitement isn't mutual. the team isn't looking at him, but at you.
goggling like an eagle, some might say. you elbow spencer in the ribs. spencer looks at you questioningly, as if he doesn't know what to do.
"introduce me," you urge, feeling more awkward by the second. a man staring at you with his jaw on the table, beer frozen halfway to his lips you assume is morgan has a terrified look on his face. everyone does, actually.
"oh yeah. sorry," spencer says, ears turning slightly red but his beam is still bright. "everyone, this is yn. she's my girlfriend!"
"sweet mary jesus," morgan finally says. he breaks the ice, and the entire booth corrupts in excitement.
"reid, what are you doing? sit the lady down," jj scowl, scooting over and making space, squishing emily against her. spencer lets you slide in first, next to jj and he sits down after you, hand gentle at your waist. "why didn't you tell us?"
"well i tried to--"
"i really thought we had nothing to hide from each other. you know you could've trusted me with it!" garcia quips, her thick neon red earrings moving back and forth.
"i didn't do anything deliberate to hide it!" spencer defends himself snarkily.
"i couldn't deduce you had a girlfriend. i just thought someone who made you really happy started crashing at your place," hotch says, thoughtfully.
"let the girl talk," rossi rolls his eyes. spencer definitely captures their personalities well when he tells you stories about the bau, you recognize everyone just from a sentence. the table quiets and you can feel the warmness of eyes all on you.
"hi everyone," you could feel your cheeks getting warm from the attention. you wanted to make an impression, but it's hard. you go for the standard, "i've heard a lot about everybody."
"we would've loved to hear about you," garcia chirps. "but spencer is a very private soul. how long have you been together?"
the evening dissolves into small talk and teasing, and out of everyone in the bau, perhaps the one who's most shocked and proud of spencer is morgan. he sits back, arm tossed around garcia, admiring spencer like a pleased older brother seeing his baby brother ask for his car keys to take his new girlfriend out on a date. hotch has the same expression on his face, one of a proud dad.
he knew that something had been keeping spencer extra upbeat than usual, the lack of eye bags and how he's always energized and better put together. hotch couldn't place a figure on what it was, but now he realizes it was you. spencer almost glows, basking in the shower of your presence and hotch knows that under the table you and spencer are probably doing something cringy like rubbing circle-eights into each other's knees or holding hands under the table. the same thing he did when he was hopelessly in honeymoon love.
the entire table are happy for the both of you, but there's probably isn't anyone in the club more happy than spencer. he is lovesick and you're so beautiful, he can't help it. he feels more comfortable than he ever had been in a club, and that encourage him to knock more drinks down, have a little more fun.
"i'll grab the next round," you say, noticing that the beers in everyone's hands are getting lukewarm. you press a hand against spencer's thigh as you get up. spencer looks up at you, eyes wide and sweet. "i'll be right back."
as soon as you absorb into the crowd, the entire table startles in cheers and whistles. spencer glows red, partly from the alcohol. mostly from the attention. "my man!" morgan praises, knocking a punch into spencer's shoulder.
"ow!"
"she's beautiful," jj says approvingly. "she knows how to dress."
"i'm sayin'!" despite how much he denies it, derek is a horrible lightweight. he slurs. "how the hell did you bag her? tell us your secrets."
spencer blushes like a newly courted bride, going magenta all over.
"okay stop bullying the kid," emily says, but she's grinning wide.
"he definitely likes it," garcia giggles, pressed flat against morgan.
when you return, beers in your hand, the entire booth are giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls and your boyfriend is rambling, on and on. "sorry i took a while," you say, and within a flash everyone's grabbed beers for themselves, knocking the caps over. it's reached that point of the night when everyone's breath smells of beer, and the music is extra loud and everyone's extra dizzy. spencer latches onto you immediately the moment you sit down, staring at you with fucking moons in his eyes.
"i was just talking about you," he says, pupils wide. you know your boy is beyond drunk.
"yeah?" spencer nods. "what about?"
spencer hiccups and forgets the question. "wanna dance?"
a small smile creep on your face. it's unusual for spencer to ask, usually he doesn't even want to witness the act of people dancing together at all. "you sure?" you lock an arm around him. no one pays attention to the two of you, lost in their own conservations. spencer nods again.
"can we dance? let's go," he makes to move, pouting his lips but you slither your arms all over him, trapping him into you. "y/nnn," he whines.
"stay put for a bit for me okay?â you murmur, trying to distract him from the dancefloor.
itâs not like you oppose to dancing. hell, you love dancing, but ever since you stood up to grab the table drinks, you notice unwanted eyes across the bar glued on your boy, women with sharp eyebrows and pointy chins and short dresses, and you can never help the awful feeling that coils in your stomach.
jealousy is an irritating feeling to feel, and itâs telling you to dig your teeth into his neck and mark him all over for everyone to see and look away. but you wonât do that, because you have a slightest drops of decency you have saved up, and the least you can do is pamper spencer with kisses and grab onto his hand so tight heâd think of you instead of the inviting dancefloor.
spencer falls for it immediately, returning your kisses and whining pathetically against your lips, the alcohol making his head spin. spencer âs never been a fan of pda but he couldnât careless now, hanging on you like a cat, dancefloor forgotten. you smile against his lips.
victory.
#spencer reid#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#criminal minds#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid smut#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#matthew gray gubler#mgg#my works
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angels like you can't fly down here with me (i'm everything they say i would be), megumi fushiguro ;
pairing megumi fushiguro x f!reader word count 11k synopsis people like him don't get happy endings but megumi fushiguro (foolishly) considers himself to be the exception â after all, he has you. content contains yakuza au, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, breeding kink, slight daddy kink, attempted sa, minor violence & depictions of blood author's note if ur on my ao3, you know this is from 2021!!! my writing has changed up since then, but i'm going to be releasing a revised version of this which will be rewritten and feature more scenes, more worldbuilding, more plot, relationship and character development, etc!! i figured releasing this on tumblr would help me gauge how worthwhile revision of this fic will be, so lmk if u like this au & want to see it become even better <3
Donât do it.
He repeats the command inside his head again, and then one more time for good measure. (And then another time, just to drive the point across.)
He wonât â canât; isnât really allowed to â get into (another!) fight.
(Well, thereâs a part of Megumi that knows that despite Gojoâs sing-songy warning of ânow, now, Megumi, I donât need a frequent visitorâs card for the principalâs officeâ, he doesnât actually care. All heâs really concerned about â if the mild interest the reckless teenager turned legal guardian shows can even be called that â is whether or not Megumi wins.
And he does.
Every. Single. Time.)
For the most part, Megumi Fushiguro is fairly stoic in general, but to a concerning degree when one accounts for the fact that heâs only ten years old. For the odd three or so years heâs been under Gojoâs wing, Megumiâs mask of disinterest stopped becoming a mask and started becoming a part of him.
(Try as he might, Gojoâs not nearly as funny as he thinks he is. Maybe the connection between them might have been stronger if Gojo was a bit more responsible and if he was actually present, but heâs got his own shit to deal with. Besides, Gojoâs under the impression that what heâs doing isnât cruel, but rather a means to an end. Megumiâs never going to be able to get stronger if he doesnât learn how to survive on his own.
After all, being alone and having to fight to survive is the life people like them live.)
The older preteens in the area have a bad habit of picking on the younger students. Because the elementary and middle schools are so close together, the younger students who have the misfortune of walking alone tend to be targets for bullies in need of pocket change or a good laugh. Most of the time, they get both.
As of late, everyoneâs favorite target happens to be Megumi Fushiguro, the boy with the messy black hair and indifferent attitude, even when confronted by boys two years his senior and almost a whole entire head taller than him.
Last week, Megumi gave the three older boys dumb enough to harass him for money bloody noses, bruised egos, and a thirst for revenge. That was the first (and supposed to be the last) time he got into a fight (for this school year, at least â something Gojo had told him, while winking). So, even when the trio is back together again, taunting him and trying to get him to take the first swing, Megumi keeps walking forward with his perpetual look of disinterest, those cold blue eyes of his staring straight at the path ahead of him, never paying any mind to the gangly bodies of the middle school boys who keep trying to block him from moving.
Donât do it.
He tells himself this once more. You donât want to have to inconvenience Gojo. Then, youâll be stuck listening to him pretend to lecture you. You donât like spending too much time with Gojo. Heâll make weird jokes.Â
The thought of having to deal with Gojoâs presence is enough to get Megumi to unclench his fists.
âMove.â
Itâs the first thing he says to the group since they started following him after school. He tells the boy with the brown hair this. The brunet seems to be their ringleader of sorts, and even as nothing more than a ten year old child, Megumi knows that being twelve/thirteen and harassing little kids for sport is a sign of patheticness that will only grow and fester into something darker unless someone beats some sense into them. Obviously, they didnât learn their lesson from last week.
âHuh? What the hell did ya just say, ya little brat?â The brown haired boy sneers, looking down at Megumi.
School has just let out, so there are dozens of kids of all ages walking down the sidewalk. Theyâre all aware of the situation happening, but everyone chooses to turn a blind eye to it. Partly because this is such a common occurrence that it just starts to become something that blends into the scenery, but also because there are some rumors surrounding the Fushiguro kid thatâs enough to make anyone with a heart of gold reluctant to come to his rescue.
The main rumor circulating around the school is that Megumi Fushiguro has ties to the yakuza. Granted, most kids his age have no idea what the yakuza is, and even those who somewhat know only know through exaggerated definitions from their older siblings. Generally, everyone just accepts the fact that the yakuza is bad, and by default, Megumi Fushiguro must be bad too. Older siblings tell their younger siblings to avoid âthat boyâ at all costs, unless they want to end up with a finger cut off. Megumiâs classmates huddle together and conveniently choose to look everywhere else but at him when on the playground.
For anyone else, this might have been enough to cause some hurt feelings. Everyone thinks the boy must be some type of stupid to be so oblivious to the rumors centered around him, but the truth is this: Megumi is well aware of what people whisper about behind his back; he just doesnât care enough to prove them wrong.
And theyâre not wrong, anyway.
(For some parts of the rumors, at least.)
Because itâs true â Megumi does have ties to the yakuza. His father, who he canât seem to attach neither a name nor a face to, must have done something bad. Something bad enough to have him cross paths with Satoru Gojo, the young head of the Gojo Clan, one of Tokyoâs most prominent crime families. Itâs the same Gojo who decided to adopt both Megumi and his stepsister, Tsumiki, despite having nothing (so far) to gain from it. After all, why would a teenager willingly assign himself the responsibilities of caring for small children â one who resembles the man that tried to kill him and the other being an ill little girl confined to a hospital bed for who knows how long. All Gojo gets from this deal is a headache, bills, and more problems than necessary.
Megumiâs not really sure how the rumors started in the first place. He thinks itâs because kids his age are easily influenced and have a tendency to run wild with their imaginations. With the rising popularity of gangs from the high school students, this interest seems to have trickled all the way down to the elementary levels. Megumi certainly fits the description of their idea of someone from the yakuza: silent, secretive, scary.
(If they were a little bit older, maybe they would have just seen him as an introvert.)
No matter how ridiculous the rumors get, though, it doesnât change the fact that the root of them is true: he is connected to the yakuza. After all, heâs being primed and prepped to be someone of value in the clan. Once youâre tied with the likes of them, you might as well just resign to the knot fateâs trapped you with. Heâs learned quickly that the only thing harder than getting into the yakuza is getting out.
And because his sisterâs and his life both depend on him doing as heâs told, getting out is a funny pipe dream at best and the Fushiguro siblingsâ cause of death at worst.
âI told you to move. Youâre blocking my way.â Megumiâs tone of voice betrays nothing. Annoyance, maybe, but he speaks flatly regardless of how heâs truly feeling. Gojo says itâs kinda creepy. Gojo also says that being a little creepy isnât bad.
(Gojo should know; heâs a certified creep in Megumiâs eyes.)
âOh â so the little boy can speak up.â The boy with blond hair laughs. Itâs a nasally sound that grates Megumiâs ears.
Heâs not an idiot. Megumi is well aware of the fact that no matter how much he feels like it isnât true, heâs still just a little ten year old boy. He should be playing with the toy cars Gojo bought him, not worrying about the gritty future that lies ahead. But still, the phrase rubs him the wrong way.
Little boy.
He wasnât so little when he kicked them down to his height before properly bashing their faces, now was he? Even now, he can feel the anger coming up. He clenches his fists, wondering if heâll get suspended for fighting right next to school property.
âLeave him alone.â
Another voice appears, but not from any of the boys. No â this time, itâs coming from a little girl on the sidewalk across from theirs. Everyone involved turns to stare at the source of such a command and are greeted with the sight of you with a Hello Kitty backpack. Youâve got a frown on your face that doesnât match the brightness of your pink outfit.
Megumi recognizes you instantly. Youâre in the same class as him. You were in the same class as him last year, too. He tilts his head, trying to figure out what exactly it is youâre trying to accomplish here â and why.
He knows his social standing in the school. If heâs at the bottom, youâre right at the top. A beaming pillar of light, everyone flocks to you like moths after a flame. But youâre alone today, not surrounded by the usual crowd of boys and girls who are often vying for your attention. Seeing you alone enables him to see you more clearly, without all the distractions getting in his way.
Youâre small. Shorter than him, and way shorter than the middle school boys. Youâve got a bow in your hair and brand new shoes on your feet. If anybody should be socially aware, it has to be you. Those at the top, Megumi knows, like to remind everyone of their placement. You shouldnât be here. You should be ignoring him like heâs got the plague, just like everyone else.
All three of the boys start to laugh after sizing you up. The laughter only serves to make you even more irritated, but you canât speak because one of them is already talking through his laughs.
âDonât tell me. Is this your girlfriend?â
The group erupts into more laughter, and while Megumiâs expression remains the same as itâs been for the past few minutes, yours only shows your growing contempt.
âSheâs no one.â Megumi throws you an odd look, one of neither annoyance nor gratitude for trying to help him out. He uses your presence as a distraction, and he manages to take a few more steps before one of the boys is yanking him back by his bookbag.
âGrab her.â One of the boys says, and the third boy, the one with the messy red hair, starts to cross the street.
Megumi watches as you stay right where you are. Are you stupid? Why wonât you run? The boy still has a solid grip on his bookbag, keeping him in place. He wonders if itâll be a waste of his breath if he tells you to start running â you probably wouldnât listen to him anyway.
But then Megumi figures out why you donât look too frightened, because not even a second before the older boy manages to cross the street to your side of the sidewalk, a man in a suit is running towards you, a scowl on his face.
âYou said you were going to the restroom, young lady!â The man scolds you while panting for breath. He surveys the scene, looking at you, and then the middle school boy by your side before turning his head and seeing Megumi in between the other two boys. âWhatâs going on? Is everything alright? Did they do anything to you?â
âNo, Mr. Higashi. B-butââ Your bottom lip starts to tremble, and even though Higashi is certain that the tears about to fall are fake, the situation itself looks serious enough to the point where he doesnât call you out on it. âTh-these boys are being really mean.â You let out a high pitched wail that makes the boy let go of Megumiâs bookbag. âThey just threatened to attack me and my friend out of nowhere.â
âYour father will be informed.â Higashi frowns, eyeing the guilty boys who look confused and a little shocked at this turn of events. âMr. [Surname] certainly wonât be pleased to hear about this.â
The middle school boys pale when they hear the man name drop your familyâs surname.
After all, itâs the same last name thatâs engraved on plaques all over the school, thanking your family for the many donations theyâve received.
You enter into Megumiâs life that way: unexpectedly. He never thanked you for intervening, but itâs not like you did it for the thanks anyway. You did it, you tell him, because you figured he needed some help.
âI had it handled.â He tells you flatly. âWhy are you even sitting here? Your friends keep staring at us.â
Itâs true. Stories of what happened are already circulating around both schools, and while all your friends spent the whole entire day pestering you for the full story, you chose to keep quiet about the situation. And now, here you are, choosing to sit and eat lunch with Megumi, someone who also knows the true story of what went down but the only one people aren't brave enough to ask.
Your whole entire table of friends keep their heads huddled together as they go back and forth with each other, every one of them sparing glances at Megumiâs table. It makes the rice in his mouth taste stale. He should have just stayed in the classroom to eat, especially if he knew you would be bothering him.
âGee, is that any way to treat a friend?â You huff, not at all actually annoyed with him.
âWeâre not friends.â
âToo late. I told my dad we were.â
There has been one question on his mind ever since that incident. Just who exactly is your father? Heâs not stupid; he knows that you must come from a wealthy family. If the buildings and auditorium named after your family isnât enough proof, the fact that you always have the latest toys, the nicest shoes, the cutest stationery sets â thatâs material proof of a spoiled princess.
You continue speaking, and as if you can read his mind, youâre already answering his question. âMy daddyâs called a CEO. But the man you saw is Mr. Higashi. He takes care of me when dadâs away at work, and everything I do gets typed up in a report that dad sees every day. He wasnât happy about what happened, so he says the boys will get in trouble. He told us not to worry, though.â You have a pleased smile on your face, waiting for Megumi to say something in reply.
âOkay.â He says, after a while. He only spoke because it seemed like you were waiting for him to. âIt doesnât mean weâre friends.â
âWhatâs so wrong about being friends with me?â You tilt your head. Everyone wants to be friends with you. And thatâs before they even figure out that you live in a real life mansion with actual servants, and that sometimes youâre allowed to eat dessert for dinner. Even without the wealth, you still draw people in, whether it be with your bright smile or cheery attitude.
âDonât you already have enough friends?â He canât figure out what you could possibly want with him. Even though Gojoâs got the backing of the clan and enough funds to run the Tokyo underground with cash to spare, itâs not like Megumi is in a position to take advantage of it. Gojo hands him a thick wad of cash every week with a tip to âspend wisely, heheheheâ, and Megumi takes the tip to heart. A majority of the money sits saved in his bedroom, underneath a floorboard he spent a week trying to figure out how to loosen without anyone catching on. (Which was actually easy whenever he realized that nobody seems to really watch him to begin with.) So, he doesnât look like he has money, and isnât that what all rich kids want? To surround themselves with equally rich kids?
âI guess.â Your bubbly mood seems to dampen a bit at the mention of the other kids. They like you, sure. But they like each other a lot more. The gap between you and the other kids isnât noticeable at first, but the novelty of having an endless supply of company has lost its luster. Meanwhile, the glamor of your life only keeps the hoards of âfriendsâ to grow as the days go by. Itâs always âletâs have a sleepover at [Names]âs!â or â[Name], we have to go to your house because you have the best toys!â. You wonder if they like you, or the shiny things that they get when theyâre with you. âBut, itâs not like youhave any friends.â
âI donât need any.â The response is quick â instinctual. Gojo, even if not the greatest guardian by any parental standards, still presses Megumi to have a proper (or, as proper as it can be) childhood.
(âYou know, I donât care if you bring any friends over. Just make sure no one ends up accidentally getting shot, okay, Megumi?â
Yeah, because thatâs definitely gonna push him towards throwing as many parties as he wants.)
People in his position donât have many friends. Itâs hard to, he assumes, because of all the killings and betrayals and power plays.
(And, heâll soon learn that it hurts a lot less to lose an enemy than it does a friend.)
âHmm. Okay.â
But you donât get up from your seat, and he doesnât tell you to move.
The next day, youâre carrying two bento boxes. The lunches are prepared for you by world class chefs and everything is done in a rather cutesy manner to entice you into not wasting your food. The fruit is cut into pretty shapes, the food has picks with animals on them, and everything is colorful and to your own personal tastes.
You take a seat next to him once again. He looks up for a second, sees that itâs you, and returns back to his meal that looks pitiful in comparison. Leftover rice and some cold meat. You think itâs the same thing he had last time.
âFor you.â You slide the second bento you had requested towards him before opening up your own.
âWhatâs this for?â
âFor you to eat, silly.â
â...How much?â
âHuh? All of it, I guess? If you donât like something, tell me, and Iâll request something different tomorrow.â You donât quite understand what heâs asking you.
âNo. How much does it cost? I'll bring you the money tomorrow.â
âWhy would it cost you?â Now youâre really confused.
Didnât anyone ever teach you that everything comes attached with a price? If itâs not money you want, it must be something else. At least, if Megumiâs judgments are right. (And they usually are.)
âFushiguro, I brought you this because I want you to eat well and grow strong.â
He wonders what rice shaped like Hello Kitty has to do with his strength.
âAlso, so the next time people give you or me trouble, you can fight them, okay?â
Oh. So itâs protection you want. He contemplates what he thinks your request is before popping a piece of food into his mouth. A meal made with care â he can taste the thought thatâs been put into it. Shoving his old lunch to the side, he quickly starts eating at the one you brought him.
Okay. So maybe he does accept your offer.
âMeguuuumi.â You whine out his name, messing up the navy sheets of his bed while he sits at his desk, trying to finish his application for university. âIâm bored.â
âGood. Go to your own house then, and leave me alone.â
âYouâre so mean to me.â You sigh, turning your head so that half of your face is pressed against his pillow. The scent of his shampoo still sticks to the fabric, and you subconsciously inhale the scent some more. Itâs familiar and reminds you of him, your favorite person in the world.
No one believes you when you tell them that Megumi is your best friend. No one wants to believe that itâs true. After all, the two of you look more like a shoujo manga trope than an actual pair of best friends. The cold, inexpressive dark haired male lead with a secretive past he doesnât want anyone to know about and the bright, bubbly, ball of energy that is constantly clinging to his side. Itâs like looking at night and day with you two.
âAnd yet, youâre still always here.â
Youâre still by his side, even when the two of you reached middle school and high school together, and he spent a majority of his time starting (and finishing) fights.
(âGet off of him!â You screamed, yanking on the collar of one of the boys who happened to be trying to grab Megumi from behind. You donât have the same amount of strength as them, but everyone at this point knows who you are and who exactly your father is. No matter what the origin of the fight is wonât matter; all that matters is that the precious daughter of one of Tokyoâs richest CEOs got caught in it, and thatâs enough to get everyone involved into some deep shit.
Immediately, the boy scampers off, and the other boy Megumi was punching into the squeaky clean floors of the hallway begins to thrash around wildly, eyes wide at the sudden sight of you. Seeing you coming from behind Megumi is like watching the sun peek through a dozen storm clouds.
Megumi gives him one last punch, not nearly as satisfied as he thought he would be. Honestly, getting into fights with low level delinquents is beneath him. Itâs not just his knuckles and clothes that are getting dirty; by feeding into the schoolâs image that heâs this young, violent yakuza heir, heâs dirtying the prestige Gojo claims is oh so important.
âMegumi.â He straightens up at the sound of your voice, which usually sounds so sweet, especially when itâs directed towards him. Instead, you have an uncharacteristic frown on your face and you soundâŚÂ mad. âLetâs go.â
Youâve got a hand wrapped around his wrist, and people part when they spot the two of you making a hasty exit. The teachers arenât bold enough to cause a scene with you, and the students know both you and Megumi are practically untouchable â one being the spoiled brat daughter of a rich and powerful businessman, the other, a ticking time bomb with ties to the yakuza.
You donât stop walking until the two of you are in a secluded courtyard at the school. No one goes here, mainly because itâs in such an inconvenient location and thereâs nothing but trees and weeds over growing it. The two of you found it within your first week of being here, and ever since then, itâs become your designated spot to avoid prying eyes.
âI thought you were over stupid fights. You told me yourself that they werenât the type of people worth beating up.â You scold him, forcing him to take a seat on the bench that creaks under his weight. You make a noise as you inspect the drying blood on his knuckles.
If an outsider were to look at the scene before them, they would gape at the unbecoming sight of you on your knees, in between his legs, too close for a duo who claims to be âjust good friendsâ. But thereâs nothing inherently dirty in your thoughts. Instead, youâre staring thoughtfully at his hands, inspecting the minor damage done to them.
Megumi swallows hard as he looks down on you. He shouldnât be feeling like this â youâre his best friend, his only friend. The only person whoâs by his side. If you could read in his mind, thereâs no doubt that you would be recoiling away from him in disgustâŚ)
Youâre still by his side, even when he told you the truth about himself after waiting years to see if you were truly his friend or not.
(âThe rumorsââ He starts to say, but you shush him, rolling over on your side to face him. The two of you are lying on the grass in your massive backyard, trying to spot a shooting star thatâs supposed to be passing by at any second now.
âI donât care about that.â You tell him. Middle school was a bitch to deal with, mainly because as everyone was in the process of growing up and âmaturingâ, so did the rumors they spread. Now, the two of you are halfway through your first week of high school. A new school, a couple of new classmates, and new rumors surrounding the odd pair.
âIf I told you the rumors about me being someone you should avoid were true, would you be mad?â Heâs lying on his back, still staring up at the night sky. Heâs not turning to face you, almost as if heâs scared to look at you.
âYes.â You answer without any hesitation. âAt the person whoâs spreading that around.â You clarify, poking him on his side to lighten the somber mood heâs setting. âYouâre the only real friend Iâve had in forever, Megumi. I donât think what anyone says about you would change that.â
âWhat if I did something bad?â Like kill a person. What then? What would you think of him if he told you the full truth: that Gojo told him that he canât shield Megumi from the dirtier aspects of this type of life. That heâs spent hours after school, hours after hanging out with you and pretending to be a normal teenager, learning how to assemble, disassemble, and then reassemble a gun. That his target practice isnât glass bottles lined up in a row or sheets printed out with human bodies. What happens if he told you that his target practice was low level scum from rival yakuza clans that Gojo couldnât be bothered to kill himself?
âMmm. How bad are we talking? Like, lied to me when you said my Christmas outfit looked good but half my ass was practically exposed bad or committing a felony bad?â
âWhat if I told you⌠that I really was a yakuza heir.â
The silence is palpable and especially soul crushing to Megumi as he waits for your reply.
âIt wouldnât matter to me, Megumi.â You say. You know that this isnât just some type of hypothetical question heâs asking for fun. From his odd living situation to the intense nature of him in general to the fact that he knows practically everything about you, but you barely know the full extent of his childhood traumas despite growing up alongside him, you know deep in your heart that there has to be something going on with him. Something dark enough to harbor stories about him.
âAre you sure about that?â
You reach for his hand in the dark, finding it without really needing to look. Heâs not one thatâs prone to initiating physical contact, but you found out that he doesnât really mind when you reach for him first.
âYou canât get rid of me, no matter how crazy or fucked up you think your life is.â You squeeze his hand, still staring at him.
You donât notice the shooting star flying past the night sky, but Megumi is looking right at it. He knows what heâs wishing for.
For your words to be true.)
Youâre still by his side, even when he brought you to his sisterâs bedside. Sheâs sick, afflicted with something no one knows, not even the private doctors that Gojoâs spent millions on. She was still conscious, albeit confined to her bed when the two of you first met, but sheâs been in a coma ever since the last year of middle school. You were by his side as he broke down about the news. It was the first time youâve ever seen him cry.
So, no matter how much it may seem like heâs pushing you away, you donât budge. For someone smaller than him and definitely weaker, youâre awfully resilient. And while people make the occasional joke, telling you to âblink twice if you need helpâ, you donât pay any attention to them. If only they knew the truth: that youâve got Megumi Fushiguro, heir to a massive yakuza clan, wrapped around your dainty finger.
Heâs so whipped that he found himself asking Gojo for a rare favor.
(âCollege?â Gojo rubs the back of his neck, staring at Megumi. âI mean, I guess itâll be good for you. Meet a wild party girl, take her to your dorm room, tame herââ
âAn education is the whole point of attending, you know.â Megumi interrupts him before Gojo can jump into a story highlighting all of his sexual endeavors with college girls back in the day.
âEh. I guess.â But then a grin lights up the feature of the man who [kind of/by definition] raised him. âBut yâknow what I know for a fact.â He wiggles his eyebrows, his glasses slipping down his nose as he tilts his head downwards. âYou wanna follow [Name].â)
It doesnât really matter if heâs not good enough to get into the university youâve already received an early acceptance for. Because Gojo tries to make up for being an absent father figure, he fills in those empty spaces with cold, hard cash. All it takes is one nice donation, and Megumiâs wherever he wants to be.
Where he wants to be, he realizes, is to be by your side. Wherever you go, heâll gladly follow. Funnily enough, despite the two vastly different backgrounds the both of you come from, you both have similar means of getting what you want.
Your father had already looked over the list of universities you had in mind, and all you could do was excitedly squeal and start rambling the moment the acceptance letters came in the mail. Despite the fact that your fatherâs physically absent from your life most of the time, he still tries to show he cares in the things he does for you. If paying off over half a dozen major universities in order to make you happy is something he has to do, heâll do it without batting an eye.
Itâs the same thing on Megumiâs end. Granted, Gojoâs means are more along the lines of using money as a lubricant and then death as an inevitable. Money talks, a gunshot to the head silences. Nobody can accuse anyone of taking bribes if said accused person is in a grave six feet under.
Sometimes, Megumi wonders how youâre just so oblivious to the fortunate circumstances in your life. You chalk up a lot of your fatherâs wishes as just âgood luckâ. In school, youâre placed on a pedestal, revered as some goddess-like, otherworldly being. People are practically tripping over themselves, running towards you for a crumb of your attention. Anyone sane would gladly wield this power and use it for all its worth. Not you, though. Not you, whoâs kind and considerate and completely clean from the corruptness that plagues everyone else.
Megumi knows good and well that heâs not a hero â couldnât be farther from it, if heâs being honest. He doesnât feel a moral obligation to go out and rid the world of all evil. (Itâd be hypocritical, he thinks, considering the fact that heâs most likely belonging under the evil category himself.) From a young age, heâs already known and come to terms with his fate. Heâs going to train and learn from the best, and eventually, he will succeed as head of the clan. That is his purpose. That right there is the reason why heâs still alive today. That is why he can find himself sitting at his desk, submitting an application thatâs already guaranteed to be followed up with an acceptance letter, ready to pretend for four more years that heâs normal.
âDâyou think college will be fun?â You ask him, making yourself comfortable in his bed.
âNo.â
You laugh at that. You like Megumi for a lot of reasons, and his honesty is one of them. Despite the fact that he likes to keep most of the darker details of his life to himself, you know that he would never lie to you. In a world full of people who are constantly lying, it gets tiring trying to figure out whoâs real and whoâs fake. It doesnât help that you want to believe in everyone either. If you didnât have Megumi loyally staying by your side all this time, you doubt you would have made it this far in your life without anyone taking advantage of you and your kindness.
âMy dad said I can finally get a boyfriend when I go to college.â You say this fact so casually that Megumi almost â almost â gets fooled into believing that this is not a cause for concern. Almost.
âOh.â Heâs at a loss for words. He knows that itâs inevitable; that one day, youâll find a guy you like and want to get closer to him. He knows that youâre not always going to be by his side, and he knows that itâs going to happen because heâll have to push you away eventually. The older he gets, the deeper heâs burying himself into his grave. He doesnât want you to get caught in the crossfire.
Itâs not like boys have never tried approaching you before. People have spent years thinking that you and Megumi were a couple, and then after finding out from you that the two of you are nothing more than âbest friendsâ, boys were still hesitant to talk to you. The glare Megumi would give them from behind your shoulder acted as a strong enough deterrent.
âI know. Now the only problem is finding a guy whoâll actually wanna date me.â
âThey all will.â The words leave his mouth faster than he can even think about them. Heâs not wrong, though. Every time the two of you are out in public together, he sees people shooting quick glances at you, at your ass, at your bright smile. The looks they give are predatory, dangerous, even. If itâs not your looks, itâs your shining personality that draws them all in. And if thatâs not good enough, thereâs always the enormous wealth attached to your last name. Thatâs the key to getting them to stay.
âYou can be so sweet sometimes, you know that?â You giggle, glad that heâs still typing away on his laptop. If he were to look at you right now, he would see that youâre reacting way too positively to such a lackluster compliment. Itâs not like he listed reasons on why anyone would ever want to date you, so he probably could just be complimenting you to make you happy.
(Thatâs just the excuse youâre going with. You know your best friend â that means you know that he would never say something he doesnât truly think or believe.)
Thereâs a secret youâve been keeping from him. A secret so big that you think you mightâve been keeping it from yourself, too. Something so big that your body simply canât contain it any longer.
You like Megumi.Â
Of course you do. You keep telling the whole world what great friends the two of you are. You talk to him about your dad all the time (which must mean heâs important, because you rarely get to speak to your dad, so you have to choose your topics of conversation wiseley). You trust him more than you trust yourself. Ever since middle school, youâve been telling yourself that you liking Megumi isnât anything to be ashamed or confused about. You like him because heâs your friend, and youâre supposed to like your friends.
And then you came to terms with the fact that you like Megumi beyond the borders of friendship.
It starts with you seeing him the way other girls must see him. Youâre not blind, you know. Itâs obvious that Megumi is far from ugly. If he wasnât so intimidating, youâre sure he would have had his fair share of confessions, too. Megumiâs pretty, although calling him a pretty boy wouldnât do his character justice. Heâs got lashes people pay extensions for theirs to look like, and the prettiest dark blue eyes youâve ever seen, and his hair, which he doesnât put forth any type of effort in, always looks good whereas the same hairstyle would look messy on anyone else.
Itâs not just his looks, though. Even if you look like the type of person who would judge others based on such shallow standards, you didnât approach Megumi simply because heâs attractive. HeâsâŚÂ interesting. Heâs got this reputation for being a delinquent, and maybe all the fights on his school record prove it, but heâs surprisingly respectful. Heâs the type of guy who gets up from his seat to let an eldery woman have it. He loves animals. Heâs honest and sweet despite his seemingly stoic nature, and heâs so oblivious to just how good he is.
Maybe itâs because heâs so blinded by the light that is you. You, with your cutesy bento boxes that used to be made by your team of personal chefs but are now made with your own manicured hands. You, with that bright smile of yours that he wants to always see because god â he thinks he would be willing to destroy the whole world if something were to ever make you so upset. Youâre kind and beautiful and everything people write love songs about. Youâre so good, and heâs nothing like you.
Heâs nothing like you, because he highly doubts that you spend your time fantasizing about him like he does with you. Itâs wrong, he thinks. And dirty, and disgusting, and vile. Youâd hate him, heâs sure of it, if you knew what he thinks about late at night. That he sits on his bed with his cock pulled out from his shorts, leaking with precum as he strokes himself to the thought of you. Do you not see him as any other guy? Despite your lack of experience, surely you know just how dirty boysâ minds can be? Youâve got to be conscious of the fact that heâs any other guy, right? So, why â why â do you always roll around in his sheets, letting your sweet perfume stick to his sheets. Your tiny tops and skirts are always clinging tight to your body, and you never feel the need to readjust your clothing when it rides up. Do you not see him trying his hardest to look you in the eyes when the two of you are talking, despite the tantalizing sight of your skirt bunching up, exposing the smooth skin of your thighs?
Little does Megumi know (and if you have your way, heâll never find out), you spend nights in your room, whining and trying to stuff your cunt with the same fingers that painstakingly made him his lunch. Heâs your best friend since childhood. He looks at you like youâre an angel, and you donât want to destroy that image by revealing just how dirty you really are. How every time he gets so close to you, you subconsciously bring your thighs together, trying to rub them together in a poor attempt to relieve some tension. Heâd be disgusted with you, youâre sure of it. Maybe even betrayed.
Besides, it would never work out. Megumi doesnât see you the way you see him. He might look at you with a soft look youâve never seen him give anyone else, but thatâs because youâre his only friend. Itâs not like heâs harboring any hidden feelings for you, and just because youâre so convinced that thereâs no one better than Megumi around, it doesnât exactly mean that you wonât feel this way about anyone else.
Megumiâs got a rather monotone cadence with his voice, so youâre not too surprised by his seemingly unethusiatic response to you saying youâre now allowed to date. Still â thereâs a slight pang of disappointment when you realize that he doesnât sound jealous at the prospect of you dating someone else.
You decide right then and there that the healthiest thing to do now is to just bury your feelings for him deep inside your heart, to tightly pack in all those pesky feelings and store them away so you can make room to allow others to fill in his space.
gumi <3:Â where are you? gumi <3:Â iâm feeling tired and i have an assignment due tomorrow. iâm going home. gumi <3:Â you know i wouldnât leave without you. cmon [name]. letâs leave now
Megumi frowns at his phone. He can clearly see that all his messages are being delivered, not to mention that heâs already called you twice and has been sent to voicemail twice. He can be patient when he wants to be, but right now, heâs getting a little pissed.
You know that he doesnât like parties, and you know that he doesnât hang out with the same people you do. He also knows that you donât even really like most of the people you surround yourself with, so whyyou suddenly decided to do a 180 and reestablish your throne as the head of the social pyramid, he doesnât know.
Lately, things between the two of you have been a littleâŚÂ weird. Sometimes he catches you staring at him with a sad smile on your face; one that you immediately replace with your usual one when you realize heâs looking right at you. Despite him asking you if everythingâs okay, you vehemently deny that thereâs anything wrong, and youâre quick to change the subject.
He thinks heâs losing his best friend, his only friend. And maybe it only hurts because heâs grown used to your presence in his life. Maybe it hurts because youâre his friend. But he knows the truth. It hurts because heâs losing you.
Did he do something wrong? Did he accidentally somehow reveal the extent of his feelings for you? Did you suddenly decide that maybe associating with someone like him isnât something youâre meant for? Do youâŚ
Do you hate him now?
It doesnât matter. Maybe it does, but not right now. Right now, heâs more focused on getting the hell out of this stuffy ass living room, filled to the brim with drunken young adults and people he couldnât care less about. The only person that matters right now is you, and heâs on a mission to find your location.
Heâs got this ominous feeling in his gut, like something bad is about to happen. Heâs Megumi Fushiguro, for fuckâs sake, so bad things have a habit of following him wherever he goes. But still, heâs made a personal promise to himself that no matter how bad things get, youâll never get caught in the crossfire. Heâs willing to die to keep that vow.
If you donât reply to him, you most likely have a good reason. He doesnât want to be clingy, is pretty damn certain he doesnât even have a right to be, but heâs still worried about you. Heâs pushing past the wall of sweaty bodies, trying to catch a glimpse of your hair color, the waft of your perfume, the familiarity of your laugh, but he canât catch a single crumb of you anywhere.
Youâre nowhere in sight, and heâs immediately filled with dread.
He yanks a guy whoâs coming from upstairs.
âOw, man, what the fucââ
âIs anyone else up there?â Most of the time, the parties are restricted to just the first floor, with the unspoken rule being that only the upstairs should be used for people trying to fuck or to use the bathroom (or, people trying to use the bathroom to fuck). Youâre not anywhere downstairs, and if you were simply using the restroom, you would have been back down here by now.
âShit, I donât fucking know.â The guy squints at Megumi, as if trying to see if he knows him or not. With the way his expression pales, Megumi comes to the conclusion that the guy might not really know him, but he knows ofhim. Gojo says that with the right reputation, the two concepts are practically synonymous. âBut I heard a guy ���n a girl, I think, walk past the bathroom. I donât know who, though!â
Megumi lets go of the boyâs shirt, and heâs quick to run off before Megumi can give him any more wrinkles in his shirt â or do something much worse.
Heâs thinking. Odds are, itâs probably not even you. With so many people roaming around this house, itâs likely that he just missed your presence. Your phone could have died, so that explains why he canât reach you.
He finds himself heading up the stairs anyway.
Itâs fine. He tells himself. Youâre fine. Youâre okay. Nobody would dare to touch a single hair on your head unless they want to suffer directly at the hands of Megumi. People around campus call him your guard dog, and itâs not necessarily a nickname he hates.
The atmosphere upstairs is vastly different from the one downstairs. There are no lights turned on, and all the doors to the rooms are closed. He hears a flush coming from one end, and out walks a tipsy girl whoâs staggering a bit. There are only so many doors to choose from, and he doesnât really want to accidentally walk in on two people trying to have sex, but the need to confirm your safety outweighs any possible embarrassment he may suffer from, so he continues on his mission.
The first two rooms are revealed to be empty, leaving just one more. Megumi takes a deep breath before trying to turn the handle.
Itâs locked.Â
His gut is telling him something isnât right, but heâs forcing himself to chalk it all up to paranoia. He curses under his breath, wondering why he even let you out of his sights for a single second.
Because he didnât want to seem clingy. Because he didnât want you to have any more reasons to keep on pushing him away.Â
He decides to call you one more time, and as heâs listening to the dial tone, he hears a faint sound coming from the other side of the locked door.
Itâs a phone ringing.
He presses his ear against the door, trying to make out any more sounds he possibly can. Is it still a coincidence when the phone stops ringing right as Megumi is greeted with your voicemail message of âsorry, I canât come to the phone right now, but you probably shouldâve just texted me!â
Without the annoying dial tone distracting him, Megumi can listen a little more clearly to whatâs going on. Thereâs⌠thereâs someone crying.
The voices are muffled, but he can make out bits and pieces of whatâs being said.
ââfuck up⌠crying like a damn bitch⌠want this.â
Heâs heard enough before heâs banging his shoulder against the door.
âOPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!â Heâs screaming, hitting it again. Thereâs a chance, the voice of reason inside of him is saying, that itâs not you thatâs crying behind that door. Even if it wasnât, Megumi still wouldnât have stood by idly. But instinct is telling him that it is you, and thatâs enough cause for him to bang his shoulder against the door once again. He hears a scream, and a male voice cursing.
The force of his body banding against it is enough to have the door really test the strength of its lock. Megumiâs never been the bulkiest person in the world, but heâs still got some defined muscle to him. The door is creaking, almost bending to his will, but he fumbles in the dark for the gun safely tucked away by his side.
Itâs a gift from Gojo. To speed up the process when something needs to be done quick is what Gojo said it was for. Heâs never used it in such close proximity to you, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
No silencer. He forgot the fucking silencer. With the deep bass rumbling from the speakers, he doubts anyone would be able to hear the gun go off anyway. He aims for the handle, pulling back the safety, and fires once, then twice. With a foot aimed at the door, he kicks at it, pleased to see the way the abused door finally bends to his will.
The open door reveals a scene that makes Megumi see red: you, with tear stained cheeks and your clothes bunched up and strewn across the floor with a guy Megumi vaguely recognizes as someone sharing the same Econ class as the two of you â Mahito.
âYou fucking bastard.â Megumi practically lunges forward, tossing his gun to the side. He doesnât see reason, is numb to common sense at this moment. All he feels is the need to hurt this fucker. To make him bleed, to have him on the brink of death, to see the light of life leave his dark eyes.
Mahito is fast, but even he couldnât imagine the speed that Megumi would possess when pushed to the edge. This is different from the fights youâve witnessed during school. This is something entirelydifferent.
The first punch has Mahito wincing in pain. The second, third, and fourth ones are thrown back to back, and thereâs no time given to recover, no chance to gain the upper hand. Heâs falling down, and Megumiâs on top of him, drawing back his fist only to slam it against him again and againand again.
Megumi knows heâs got something fucked up inside of his head â what other explanation is there to reason with why he finds this bloody violence so satisfying? His knuckles are bloody, and he canât tell where Mahitoâs blood starts and where his own ends. Thereâs a wild grin on his face, one that youâve never seen before. Youâre not sure if itâs a trick of the shadows, but the feral expression on Megumiâs face transforms him from your loyal best friend to something monstrous.
ââGumi, st-stop.â The words stumble out of your mouth as hiccups, but you donât miss the way Megumiâs raised arm freezes in its higher position before he slowly brings it back down to his side. Heâs breathing deeply, and all is silent in the room.
As if the sound of your cries is enough to snap him out of his daze, itâs almost scary how fast his mood shifts. Just a second ago, he was hellbent on beating Mahito to a bloody pulp, and now the darkness drowning those blue eyes of his is practically gone. He makes his way to the bed, each step hurried but still hesitant. Do you even want to be near him right now?Â
You answer his question with some more small sobs. ââGumi, Iââ
âShh, itâs okay, [Name].â Heâs picking up your clothes from the floor, ready to help you get dressed. âEverythingâs going to be okay.â
âMegumi.â His name seems to be the only thing youâre capable of saying right now. After he helps you get dressed, heâs thrown off guard when you cling to him, with your arms wrapped around his neck and your wet cheeks pressed against his shoulder.
The moment the two of you are exiting the room, both of you far too wrapped up with the other to pay him any mind, Mahito lets out a laugh before groaning at the pain Megumi inflicted.
The two of you donât know what you just started, but no worries â Mahito has the means of ending it.
Itâs only a matter of time.
Youâre too good to be true.
You wonât listen to him when he tells you this (you never do), but he swears youâre a fucking angel or something otherwordly. Thereâs no other possible explanation for just how breathtakingly beautiful you are, or how youâre the only thing consuming his every thought. Despite the fact that all the blood on his hands has reached an amount that heâs sure heâll never truly be able to wash it all off, you donât shy away from his touch. As a matter of fact, it seems like youâre keening for it.
ââGumi.â You mewl out, sticking out your tongue to lap at the precum on Megumiâs thumb.
Youâre well aware of just how dangerous your boyfriend (the title makes you giddy every time you refer to him as that) is, but you know him. You know that the hands of a killer are the hands of your lover, and most of the time, you have a hard time believing the awful things heâs had to do with them. Because right now, those hands that are meant to be weapons are handling you with care, touching you so gently, you would have thought you were made of glass and ready to shatter.
âLook at you, all spread out for me. What happened to my precious, shy little girl, huh?â He removes the hand that was cradling your face back to his cock, stroking his length, the saliva from your tongue acting as a minor lubricant. The first time he fucked you was the first time youâve ever had sex with anyone ever, and it had been the start of an addiction. You love Megumi. You love everything about him, from his character to his tenacity, all the way down to his cock, with its red tip thatâs sticky with pre and leaking out more as he stares down at the obscene position youâre in.
Your face feels warm as he stares down at you, his eyes darkened with a mix of love and lust that you donât think youâll ever get used to being on the receiving end of.
âNeed you, need you so bad, please, âGumiââ Youâre staring up at him, giving him your best doe eyes.
âFuck.â Just the sight of you beneath him, completely bending to his will, whining out for him to pretty please fuck you has him ready to cum right on the fucking spot. Heâs pressing the tip in, his breathing faltering just the slightest as the warmth you provide envelopes the most sensitive part of him, nearly causing him to lose all self control right then and there.
You let out a cry as he pushes himself deeper in you, making himself at home in your gummy walls, one hand gripping your hip and the other holding onto the headboard.
âYou feel so good for me, baby, shit.â He hisses, waiting for you to adjust, impatient but willing to bear it if it means itâll feel better for you in the long run. After all, thereâs nothing he wouldnât do, nothing he wouldnât endure, just to ensure your happiness.
âMm â ah â please.â There are still tears welling up in your eyes â precious girl, he hasnât even began to properly fuck you, and youâre already tearing up? The sight of you completely and willingly at his mercy is enough to get him to start rutting his hips against yours, the satisfying sound of skin slapping against skin resounding and bouncing against the walls of his bedroom that is starting to feel more like the both of yours.
âYâfeel so fuckinâ good for me, baby.â He groans, his pace quickening, the thrusts getting sharper and rougher with every roll of his hips. Youâre powerless against his strength, and this type of easy submission feels so natural, feels so good, when itâs him thatâs taking advantage of it. âYouâve got the sweetest pussy, yâknow that?  I could fuck you forever.â
His praise goes through one ear and out the other with you, but your heart swells up to twice its size. Even if you canât focus on the words all too clearly, youâre still aware that Megumiâs probably praising you. You can come to this conclusion because heâs always praising you. Heâs always so sweet, so gentle, so loving â when it comes to you, that is.
âHng â daddy!â You canât help but let out a high pitched moan as he hits that sweet spot inside of you that makes you buck your hips up.
Thereâs no way you donât know what youâre doing. Clenching around his cock like that, making those cute little noises that he canât help but want to hear all the time, and then calling him that.
âDaddy, daddy, daddy.âÂ
Forget igniting something within him; you whining for him, calling him something thatâs the root cause of all his childhood traumas⌠Thatâs like dousing him with gasoline and tossing a lighter at him. Heâs going to burn through all his energy, channel all this dark, feral energy, and use you as the one unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end.
He fucks into you so deeply that if your eyes werenât shut tight, thereâs no doubt that you wouldnât see the unmistakable shape of his cock outlined against your tummy. The headboard is banging against the wall, and the squelching sounds of him roughly thrusting in and out of your sopping cunt is so lewd and so dirty that if you had any room to harbor a single ounce of shame, you would be downright embarrassed.
âHow about you make me a daddy, huh? How about I fuck a baby in you?â He wonât lie and say itâs not something thatâs never crossed his mind. The thought of your stomach round with a life the two of you created is enough to get him to continue with this near-brutal pace heâs set forth. âDoesnât it sound nice, baby? My baby giving me a baby, whatââ He grits his teeth as you tighten up. ââa fucking dream.â
âBaby. Wanna have your babies.â You cry out, tears spilling out and wetting your cheeks as your arms find their way to his neck and broad shoulders, trying to pull him in closer. The heat building up from within you feels like youâre about to fucking explode. ââGumi, I love you, Iloveyoupleasegimmeababyâ'' Your words are practically unintelligible as you slur them out, the words sticking together as you cum all over his cock, all that pleasure that has been building up now physically tangible, if the white ring encasing his cock every time he pulls out is evidence.
âFuck! You feel so fucking good. Always so fuckinâ tight.â Heâs reaching his own end, and youâre just lying there, trying to recover from such an intense orgasm but unable to as your too sensitive walls clench around the constant intrusion of his cock. Spurred by your little love confession and his mind imagining his daydreams coming true â you, as his cute little housewife, taking care of the kids the two of you made together â he finally shoves himself as deep as he physically can, making sure that as he cums, nothing will spill out.
ââGumi.â You whisper, your head resting against his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. âDid you mean it when you said you wanted to start a family?â
Heâs silent for a minute.
âI wouldnât mind starting a family with you.â And he means it. He knows this life isnât one meant for children â look at how he turned out, for godâs sake â but he thinks that for you, he can do anything. Even make a family work out. As long as itâs what you want, he doesnât mind how hard it may be.
You snuggle closer to him, burying your face in the warmth of his chest. âGood.â You mumble. âI wanna start a family with you, too.â
Megumi feelsâŚÂ at peace. Like heâs got the whole entire world in the palm of his hands. He wraps his arms around you, and realizes that no â right now, heâs got his world right in his arms.
Mahito likes to play with his food before he devours them whole.
Humans are just soâŚÂ vulnerable. Even the coldest people have a heart; itâs only a matter of whether or not they find someone warm enough to defrost it. Megumi Fushiguro, for example, likes to walk around this world, acting indifferent and claiming to follow his own moral conduct, only to give himself the biggest weakness he could possibly harbor: you.
He still remembers that party. He still remembers the way you were dressed like a little slut, completely oblivious (or maybe you were just acting coy) to the wolfish stares all the guys were giving you. He had the same class as you. Seen the way you clung to Gojoâs charity case, as if the ground would swallow Megumi whole if you let go of him. Youâre cute, and you scream naive virgin, and thatâs precisely why Mahito wanted to take you to that bedroom and have his way with you.
And then, your infamous little guard dog bared his teeth and pummeled him into the hardwood of a strangerâs bedroom floor.
Grudges are cancerous. If you donât deal with it right away, it develops into something worse. It takes over all your internal organs, ruining you âtil the only thing you can focus on is getting revenge. And the longer you wait, the more vengeful you get. It doesnât become a matter of ruined pride or reestablishing honor â it becomes about inflicting the most pain one possibly can. It becomes about suffering â about transferring your pain, your anguish, onto someone else.
Mahito isnât the type to hold grudges, but for Megumi, heâll make a special exception. He wants to see just how well trained the boy is; after all, heâs been taken under the wing and supervision of Satoru Gojo, the myth himself. Surely, his student must be nearly as skilled, right?
Itâs been a long game of watching and waiting on Mahitoâs end. A lot of lurking in the shadows and gathering intel. Itâs a lot more boring than he anticipated, but todayâs the day where all his hard work finally comes to fruition. Megumi Fushiguro is going to regret ever interfering with him that one fateful night. The burning humiliation heâs felt has long since fizzled out, but since heâs already been set on the path of orchestrating Megumiâs destruction, he figures it only makes sense to see it through. You only can let go of a grudge after you get your proper revenge.
Heâs been leaving Megumi all sort of taunting, teasing threats any chance he gets. Mahitoâs got nothing but disgraced yakuza members on his side; those who have committed acts vile enough to get them kicked out of what is essentially a group of criminals. He knows how to be twisted â hell, twisted might be the only thing he knows how to be.
Killing girls that resemble you and sending him the photos. Taking videos of you when youâre out in public alone. Leaving voicemails for Megumi, ones that leave him pale faced and unable to breathe as he listens to how Mahito wants to tortue you.
Megumiâs been on edge for the past few months, unable to explain to you why. Itâs why you donât understand why Megumi wonât let you go back to your car, even though you left your phone in there.
âIâll go. Or, we can go together.â
âYou have to wait for our coffee! And besides, I donât even know where I left my phone. It might not even be in the car, but youâll just waste your time searching for it if itâs not there.â
âSo then why do you have to go look for it?â
âBecause itâs my phone? Also, I reeeeeallly donât wanna have to wait for our coffee, so I figured looking for my phone in the car would kill some time.â You give him that sweet smile of yours that he loves so much before waving him goodbye. âIâll be back by the time our order is ready, pinky promise!â
At the end of the day, itâs all luck. Mahito realizes this as you happily skip out of the crowded cafe, headed towards your car to search for your phone. He doesnât know why youâre returning back to your car, doesnât even really care. All he knows and all he cares about is that youâre headed there alone. And while youâve been alone plenty of times, heâs never had an opportunity quite like this one. A chance to finally detonate the bomb thatâs been lying dormant underneath your car, ready to be activated at the press of a button. He couldâve killed you plenty of times already, but itâs not enough to merely murder you. He wants to make it a spectacle, sure, but he also only cares about one audience member watching:Â Megumi.
From where heâs hiding, blending in with the rest of the customers from the bakery across the street, heâs got a decent enough view of Megumi, whoâs sitting by the glass windows, watching you with furrowed brows as you unlock the car door.
Mahito canât help the cruel smile that spreads across his face as pushes the remote connected to the bomb.
Nobody expects to hear the loud, resounding boom of something exploding. The surrounding cars parked next to yours have their alarms going off like crazy; itâs nothing but high pitched, blaring noises blending together to create a disruptive harmony. People are screaming, someone is on the line with emergency services, andâ
âyour precious car is set aflame, reduced to a burning pile of scrap metal no salvage yard will take.
In this moment, Megumi Fushiguroâs world crumbles to ashes.
#megumi fushiguro x you#megumi fushiguro x reader#megumi fushiguro x y/n#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#megumi x reader#angst#fluff#one shot#drabble#smut#megumi smut#jjk smut#jjk imagines#yakuza au#THIS IS SO OLD IM CRYING#like rereading it... omg what was i ON???
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DCA/TSAMS ARTFIGHT ATTACKS
All my tagging is gonna be underneath cause i have COMMENTS
First the mass Lunar Attack, listen this took a WHILE and my last attack took so long... had a lot of fun with posing and putting the chaarcter where i think they made sense in interacting. lots of fluff and tails! and there woulve been more if i had more time. left to right here also u can tell what the theme was
Umbra - @ocean-lunar ive drawn them before i think but theyre so funky sillyyy
Follower Lunar- @/ms.dawn on artfight, i was trying to decipher what the au was and then looked at the other characters and went AH. he chillin' safety on the cloud!!!
Evil (purple) Lunar - @galaxysugarr I APPRECIATE THE LIMITED PALETTE SO MUCH. i love his pose still gets some cloud sir.
Lunara - @starheirxero LISTEN I SAW THE DESIGN AND I LIKE TO GATHER THE LUNARS. loving the rags dvbkjd
Callisto (Lord Lunar) - @artyheartz I DEBATED ON EITHER UR EVIL BOY OR UR GOD originally hen i saw him wanted to draw him with his eclipse but dfkd anyway he prettyyyyyy <33
Lord Night - @madcatdaderpydrawer-blog ALSO remembering drawing him in my lunar files dhvs one of the aus ive seen since before the dawn of the new age. Look at him goooo i like the sublte stars in his cloak so coolll
Killcode Corrupted Lunar - @artoutoftheblue HI THE CONCEPT INTRIGUES ME LOOK AT HIMMMM fdbvkj twas on me list the moment i saw him!
God!Lunar @starays13 UR BOY IS THE ONE I SAW AND INFLUENCED WHY EVERYONES ON CLOUDS ad why i chose a whole mass attack (i saw cloud kingdom say no more, he vibing!!!)
And the last one is my Lord Lunar. bdjkfss dont worry about him. I had fun trying to finish this. i can also send yall the individuals of ur characters if u want!
And now continuing
Sunsettia and Gala @cinnamonnala BRUH U KNOWWWW U KNOWWWW, i enjoyed drawing sunsettia a lil too much but lord the patterns fvdjvs gala moments before next nap!!
Protocol @catspawcreates WE SHAKING HANDS ON KILLCODES ON ARTFIGHT!!! A fun guy to draw once u get going!! and i like the palette could do lineless with that!! stretchy magnetics boyo smooch Lord Bloodmoon @o-i-w-u HEY YOO COOL BEANS i liked drawing this one the style of lines being light remind me of that rythm ribbon game vribbon??? Either way cool design for a lord Bloodmoon!!
Tycho, (beaned) Bloodmoon, Meteor @garbagechocolate THE BACKGROUND... i scrapped my first draft thats a recreation. BUT UR BOYOS. Tycho is such a delightful guy and METEOR i dont see them enough but <33 darling. and classic bloodmoon even tho he small rn dont worry about that. Causes problems later. Starlight @/Solar_Eclipse on artfight - I SAW THE TEAL I SAW THE SASS I SAW THE GOLD. i was hi i love them. SHINE BRIGHT SUPERSTAR!!
Luna, Ballet Lunar - @nekojaf @senota-skulls BALLET LUNARS IN MY HOUSE??? I SAW THE PRINCESS TUTU OPPORTUNITY AND THEN TOOK IT it was fun drawing!!! love them mwah <33
Polaris, Eclipse @huskyliker - I SAW POLARIS ON INSTAGRAM BEFORE AND SEEING U ON ARTIFIGTH I HAD TO. and i leanred more, shes so sillyyyy <333 girl wins
Honey @/ClipseTheBean on artfight - ONE OF MY TRADITIONAL ATTACKS. Getting the values of my greys right was a task BUT BBY DBKCSJ THEY WERE SO CUTEEEE Enzo @/JitteryBuggie on artfight - More grey tones with that POP of puprle i loved drawing her and then dreaded lining gbvsks
Angel, Angel, and Angel Lunar! - Myboyo, @melodyartiez @simpalert THE MOMENT I WAS SCROLLING AND SEEING THIS I KNEW RIGHT AWAY. Angels everywhere o m g <33 theyre so cute tho i like that Angel was christmas vibed and Angel Lunar LIL DRESS/TUNIC?? fbdkcs perfecttt
ANYWAY THATS IT FOR THE DCA ONES see this is why all my commentary is under the readmore fbvhjs
i enjoyed a lot of the process with all these. and more confidence in simple background
Hope yall enjoyed artfight!! i did for my first year!
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Hi lovie a lil request if u pls! I would love to see Sirius (but could also be down with one of the other boys if ur not feeling him) with a gf who has a migraine and just him doting on her
alternatively could also do it's like early in the relationship and she tries to hide it from him?
Thanks for requesting!
cw: modern au, migraine
Sirius Black x fem!reader ⥠997 words
You decide to text Sirius rather than braving the lights and sounds of the living room. You keep your phone brightness on low, clicking your screen off as soon as itâs sent.Â
Do you have any painkillers I could use?
You feel guilty for commandeering Siriusâ bedroom like this. Youâre supposed to be cooking dinner together, but when you came home with the groceries youâd asked meekly if heâd mind if you napped for a while. He offered to make it himself so itâll be ready when you get up. You sort of dread when that will be. You know youâd feel better back at your own place, but you donât trust yourself to drive like this, with pain taking all your concentration and spots and lines flashing across your vision, so instead youâre spoiling the evening you and Sirius had planned together. Now youâre asking him to wait on you, too.Â
Sirius doesnât respond to your text, but you hear him moving. The soft thump of footsteps coming down the hall and the quiet sshk of a drawer coming open.Â
âJust a nap, huh?â he murmurs as he comes into the bedroom. He sits by your knees on the bed, shaking a couple of pills into his hand. âDoes something hurt, lovely?â
âYeah,â you manage a hoarse whisper as he passes you the pills and the glass of water heâs brought you. âSorry. My head.âÂ
âI thought something might be wrong,â he admits, keeping his voice low. âYou got awfully quiet earlier. Why didnât you say?â
You set the glass on his nightstand after downing the pills. Cover your eyes with the hand cool with condensation. âIâm sorry. I didnât want to ruin our night.âÂ
Sirius tuts softly. âDonât worry about that.â His hand finds your forehead, first feeling for a fever and then brushing a few pieces of hair back from your eyes, but he stops when your face tightens. âItâs quite bad?âÂ
You make a low humming sound. âItâs a migraine. I get them, sometimes.âÂ
âOh, sweetheart.â Sirius takes his hand away from you, though by the pain in his voice it costs him to do it. âIâm sorry. What can I do?â
âI just need to lie with it for a bit. Hopefully itâll calm down. I have things to help at home, but I donât think I can make it there right now.âÂ
âWhat sort of things?âÂ
You tell him, admittedly somewhat short in your speech. Sirius doesnât seem to mind. He leaves you to rest afterwards, and you hardly hear him again until nearly an hour later. You think dinner has to have long since been ready, but when Sirius comes back into his bedroom itâs not with food.Â
You watch through slitted eyes as he creeps into the corner, plugging in a machine that starts billowing steam up into the room. He fiddles with it for a moment, and soon youâre aware of a familiar scent upon the air, floral and relaxing.Â
âDid you get that from my place?âÂ
Sirius jumps, pressing a hand to his chest as he turns around. âFuck, babe, I thought you were sleeping. No, I didnât want to ask you to give me your key.âÂ
You look at the essential oil diffuser. âHuh. Looks just like mine.âÂ
âWell, good. Hopefully itâll work just as well, then.â Sirius stands, typing something into his phone. âDo you think those binaural beats things will help right now, or will they keep you from falling asleep?âÂ
âMânot falling asleep anyway,â you mumble half bitterly, but your boyfriend only nods. He connects his phone to a small speaker and sets it by the bed. âTell me you didnât go buy a diffuser?â
Sirius looks at you, raising an eyebrow as a low, soothing thrum starts to emanate from the speaker on the nightstand. âNot sure what you want me to say then. Would you have rather I broke into your place to get one?â
âSirius.â Your voice drops to a whisper. âYou didnât have to. Thatâs so sweet.âÂ
âOh.â He brightens. âGood then. Thereâs a weighted mask in the freezer, too, by the way. Thought Iâd give it a minute to chill first.âÂ
Youâre starting to feel slightly teary, which isnât really what you want during a migraine. âThatâs really kind of you.âÂ
âDonât mention it. Couldnât have the world's loveliest girl suffering here in my own home, could I?â He smiles softly, looking like heâs going to reach for your face again before he stops himself.Â
âYou can touch me,â you say quietly.Â
Siriusâ brows twitch together. âYeah? Are you sure?âÂ
âMhm. I feel a bit better than before.âÂ
âCould I kiss you as well?âÂ
You canât stop your lips from curving, just a little. âYeah.âÂ
Sirius smiles, too, pressing his lips gently to yours. He doesnât stop there. âBetter than before doesnât seem quite well enough,â he murmurs as his affections grace your cheek, your closed eyelid, the space between your brows, âbut weâll get you there soon, I think. Remus sometimes has migraines, too. I called him and he said a massage might help, if it suits you. Just while your mask is getting cold.âÂ
âYeah?â you ask on a breath. âIâve never tried that.âÂ
âDo you wanna?â
You nod, and he gets you to roll onto your front, thumbs finding the tight muscles of your neck. Itâs not a skillful massage, but Sirius is a quick learner, and soon you find the tension from your face to your shoulders relaxing from his ministrations. The air smells of lavender, the room pulses with a low, resounding hum, and Siriusâ touch bleeds affection into your skin.Â
âThank you for doing this,â you mumble, words slurred with relaxation.Â
âDonât know what youâre thanking me for,â he hums back. âI told you, I have the worldâs loveliest girl right here in my own home. Great power comes with great responsibility and all that, right?â
Youâre too enamored to even scoff.
#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x fem!reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#sirius black x self insert#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fic#sirius black fluff#sirius black hurt/comfort#sirius black imagine#sirius black drabble#sirius black scenario#sirius black blurb#sirius black oneshot#sirius black one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader
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classmate au | sim jake
â iâm sorry we only got 26/30 on this worksheet â
heeseung | jay | JAKE | sunghoon | sunoo | jungwon | ni-ki
jakeâŚ
oh jake.
student athlete and math genius jake
youâre in the same class but he feels so far because he hangs out with his rly pretty friends
u can only look from afar
heâs always a tiny bit late to class
always drawing attention to his pretty boy face đ
at 7:30, the bell rings and classes start
at 7:31, jake walks into class late
but the teachers always give him a pass bc how could they not when he smiles at them like that and apologizes like that
even ur teachers are down bad
he probably becomes your class representative for that one strict teacherâs class bc they always have a soft spot for jake
u want the deadline of the homework extended? ask jake to message them
he sits in the middle seats
not too prim and punctual to be at the front
but still likes school enough not to completely goof around at the back
sometimes your math teacher lets you do quizzes and worksheets by pair
(itâs the only way some of you can get a passing grade)
by statistics and some type of sampling, you end up getting partnered up with jake
âhi, good morning,â heâd greet with his infamous smile
now you get why all the teachers swoon for him
heâs so cute. this is going to be a problem
this is going to be a BIG problem
you were already bad at math, and now thereâs a big pretty distraction sitting next to you
though, tbh, you were also relieved when you heard your name with his bc heâs ltrly known as a math genius
heâs one of the students that teachers excuse for their math contests
and wait đ did he just say something to u? did he ask about a formula bc u honestly have no clue
â(name)?â heâd shake your shoulder gently and itâs enough to bring you back on earth
âsorry, did you ask something?â
âoh, iâm done ⌠if u wanted to compare answers? or if u trust me enough?â
you trust him enough
heâs ltrly THE carry
jake will speedrun differential calculus like heâs writing the alphabet
uh oh.
why does he look so HOT with his pencil and the way he writes numbers
youâre going insane
you should never be paired with jake ever again
but by some twist of fate, you always end up as jakeâs partner in numerous activities
lab work and experiments and communication reports?
âjake and (name),â the teacher would announce
ofc⌠typical of friends, they HAVE to push you around as you walk to your seat beside jakeâs
while youâre of great help with anything else, youâre starting to feel bad about his literal carry in math tho
âare you sure itâs ok? iâm just rly horrible iâm sorry,â youâd apologize
he would just laugh and dismiss your concerns
ânooo, itâs okay. iâm fine! i can tell you didnât get enough sleep last nightâ
(you spent the night binging a new show that came out)
your stomach doesnât feel so good after that one.
who gave him the right to NOTICE things now???
when your teacher returns your paired worksheets, he has the GALL to apologize
a big fat 29/30 will be written on top and heâd say âoh iâm sorry we had one mistake đâ like BOY SHUT UP !!!!
after your partner shenanigans, youâd start talking more in the classroom
heâd give u a fist bump if u bumped into each other in the hallways while walking with ur respective friend groups
sometimes even shout your name to get your attention only to wave at you
âwhy are you smiling like that?,â sunghoon would ask accusingly
and you know what? jake has no shame
â(name). sheâs pretty cute, no?â
BYE absolutely no shame
so now, when he speedruns an activity, youâll find him hovering around you until he starts to make conversation
if the teacher leaves early ?? suddenly heâs transported to the seat next to yours and flirting
being friends with jake is chaoticâŚ. bc that would automatically mean being friends with HIS loud ass friends
pretty friends have upgraded to pretty LOUD friends
theyâre so annoying too
âjake and (name), can you buy us water?â, heeseung would ask
WHY R U BUYING WATER FOR HEESEUNG
but jakeâs already taking your hand and dragging you away bc he will take every opportunity to hang out with you alone
BTW computer science god idk i just got the vibes
during valentines that year, he codes you a little website please end me
mind you, you arenât even together yet
he just codes for you as a friend đđđ as if anyoneâs believing that
oh and he also avails those anonymous services so youâll just be receiving flowers from the student council throughout the day
âoooooh, who are those from,â he would be smiling like itâd be so painfully obvious itâs from him
âdo you like them?â NOOOOOOO he just wants to know ok!!! tell him you love them please
OK back to normal no more valentines
when class dismisses, youâd find him lounging around the basketball court with heeseung
sweatyâŚ.. wet hairâŚ. oh dear
jake is a sight to see when heâs playing basketball
u usually sit at the bleachers anyway bc ur friends enjoyed watching
he is SOOOOO annoying esp now that youâve grown closer over the months
heâd make stupid plays and draw attention to you 100%
âif i get this shot in, will you go on a date with me?â
cue the screams and the teasing and the fake vomiting as youâre pushed around
OFC he makes the shot
heâs sim jake, math genius AND student athlete
âso, tomorrow after class?â
âhuh?? i thought you were joking??â
âwhat? no! have i not been obvious? i ltrly flirt with you evry chance i get??â
âwell⌠idk! maybe you do that with everyone!â
âonly youâ
OK WISH I WERE YOU THEN đđđđđ
note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me iâm crazy
#k-labels#enhypen x reader#fluff#jake sim#enhypen jake#jake x y/n#sim jake x reader#sim jake x you#jake x reader#sim jaeyun#sim jaeyun x reader#enhypen jake x reader#jake imagines#enhypen imagines#enhypen reactions#enhypen blurbs#enhypen drabbles#enhypen scenarios#classmate au#enhypen fanfic#enhypen x you#enhypen headcanons#enhypen headcanon#sim jake imagines#sim jake#jake headcanons#sim jake headcanons#enhypen jake headcanons
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L O S T | Max Verstappen
pt2
summary: after getting lost in the city of Las Vegas a kind stranger offers to help you get to your hotel.
max verstappen x female! CEO! reader
pt1 â masterlist â pt3
[twitter]
[Instagram]
yn_suĂĄrez â
liked by urbff_user, mamasuĂĄrez, danielricciardo and 490,105 others
yn_suĂĄrez @urbff_user wanted to shop early. digging Ferrari clothes rn.
#f1 #lasvegas
View all 1,602 comments
urbff_user gonna support my fav Ferrari boys
yn_suĂĄrez â what about Daniel?
danielricciardo â what about me?
â urbff_user OMFG, YN PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT DREAMING
â yn_suĂĄrez â ur DEFINITELY not dreaming
mamasuĂĄrez đâ¤ď¸
yn_suĂĄrez â I got you a Mercedes one đ
â mamasuĂĄrez does it look good?
â yn_suĂĄrez â it'll look good on you. trust đ
carlando.for.life who is she and why is she hot?
ceruleanbelle⨠pretty girls
sharahkae waiting for Ferrari to comment
scuderiaferrari â đĽ
sharahkae there she is
ferarrifwiends đ¤¨
fanny not Daniel in her likes
[texts]
[twitter]
[texts]
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
another one, I'm slowly getting used to tumblr. I don't use this app a lot I mean I do but only for reading. I barely make or write anything in here. I'm having a lot of fun writing and doing this story. Starting to really like social media au.
#fanfics#fanfic writer#fanfiction writer#f1 x reader#f1 red bull#f1 racing#f1 rpf#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 imagine#f1 fic#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen#f1 x you#social media au#pt 2#lost
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