#idk why the fuck this ad was on my blog

[deoidesign]

Joked about Adam being divorced one too many times that now I'm getting anti-divorce ads

Adam think of the children... Please...

[writterings]

the thing they don't tell you about most mlm romance books is that they fucking suck ass

[mysticalcats]

ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed

ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them

and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it

and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it

so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO

[agirlinthegalaxy]

It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.

Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)

As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.

Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.

[sporadicspores]

Spores and Stars

Chapter 1 - Acclimations

Chapter CW's: mentions of trauma, physical assault, potentially distressing trauma-related dialogue, night terrors/trauma related nightmares, grief, choking/asphyxiation (in a dream but still lol) A/N's in tags for background info

Vrisryn was irritable, to say the least. It had been over a hundred years since the elven druid had last felt any anxiety or fear even remotely close to the levels of stress which they’d endured throughout the last 24 hours. Circumstances beyond their control had become a theme in their life long before this, but a being abducted by mindflayers while on a routine stop in the city only to awaken on their crashing nautiloid? That definitely warranted a top 3 spot in the stories of unfortunate events which had become such a trademark experience for them.

Surviving the nautiloid crash and escaping illithid captivity was only the start to their newfound troubles. Other discomforts and concerns took form in the shape of discovering the fate that awaited those who become infected with illithid tadpoles, as well as the strange companions they had reluctantly picked up along the way—the abrasive but adept githyanki, Lae’zel; the untrusting & mysterious half-elf cleric, Shadowheart; the seemingly clumsy but endearing human wizard, Gale; and the pale, snide high-elf Astarion, who Vrisryn couldn’t help but notice hosted unnatural fangs and two inauspiciously placed puncture wounds along his neck. 

How subtle, they had thought to themselves when his dagger pressed along their neck–right before they rightfully headbutted him off of their person. Vampirism and the undead were not completely unfamiliar subjects for a druid of the Circle of Spores, and while the potentiality of being in proximity to such undead didn’t particularly phase the wild-elf, they couldn’t say for certain that the other party members would be as unbothered as they were by such a discovery. They chose to act oblivious to the matter for the time being. A notion for him to share and a trouble for another day, they figured after he had agreed to travel with the group. 

Vrisryn was not fond of being close to people, and traveling with others was a foreign concept altogether. Circle of Spore druids were particularly known for their preference of solitude, and even among their circle, Vrisryn was considered a recluse. Despite the wild-elf’s natural charisma, socializing was NOT something Vrisryn found enjoyable—let alone comfortable. They considered such things a necessary nuisance. Between the circumstantial & personal risks that forming close bonds carried for them and the fact that they had spent roughly the last century relatively alone in the wilderness, they had little reason to welcome any opportunities to grow close to people. Any form of socializing or interpersonal connection was something that they had learned to allow only when absolutely necessary.  

Vrisryn had no interest in close bonds with others. The bonds they had forged with nature and the wilderness had sustained them more than well enough the last century. Companionship with people was not something they had sought for since their youth; connection and intimacy had long-since been cast out of their mind and heart, believing that such frivolities to have been privileges long-since spent from the past. Even when it came to acquaintances within their Druidic Circle or work, they kept most exchanges to solely business-related matters; where they could name many associates, they would be hard pressed to claim any being as something even remotely akin to a friend–short of potentially Psilofyr, whom they refused to acknowledge as such. 

No—the druid had not felt any sense of true connection or understanding since the few years they had spent recovering from and adjusting to their spellscar in a myconoid colony. They had found themselves in the care of the strange creatures and the mad-mushroom deity after the traumatic loss of their prior life to the Spellplague which infected their homeland during the Year of Blue Fire. Where it stood now, they had grown to prefer solitude, and worked intentionally to maintain that detachment from others. It was a choice that had served them well both in their heart and with their druidic work. 

They didn’t see it as a sacrifice, but rather, as an act of acceptance of their own fate. Death had made it clear where they stood in the story that was their life. And who were they to disrupt nature’s holy balance by protesting death’s decision, let alone for the sake of their own selfish emotions or desires? The bitter acceptance of their circumstances had taken a long time to adopt after they had recovered from their creeping madness, but once it settled into their soul, they found them disconnected from the reverence they once held over the living, as well as life itself. Being invested in other people was a luxury and a distraction that Vrisryn could no longer afford. They had come to find that their indifferent attitude towards subjects such as death, violence, or tragedy—as well as their general interest in the macabre—tended to fend off most that dared to seek connection with them, anyway. It was easier to remain on the outskirts, misunderstood, and drifting along nature’s intended course.

Now, these damned tadpoles and their ability to psychically link any fellow infected threatened all of the security and familiarity Vrisryn had previously found through isolation.

So: irritable would be one way to describe Vrisryn’s mood as they settled into camp. The first day of traveling with others had been treacherous and wearing. Between the tadpoles themselves, the forced acquaintances (not to mention the subsequent bickering amongst them–who knew less than a handful of strangers could find one another so disagreeable), the skirmishes within the decaying temple, and the literal skeletal withered freak that had crawled out of the sarcophagus in the crypt underneath? It was safe to say that exhaustion had crept up on the druid faster than ever.

Vrisryn was also clearly weaker than they had been when they were kidnapped; the effects of their newfound tadpole infection wiping away much of their prior strength and stamina. Some cantrips and basic first level spells were all the druid could manage to produce at the moment, and it was a miracle that their Spellscar wasn’t already rearing its head given the circumstances. By sunset, a migraine had seeped its dreadful way into Vrisryn’s skull. Whether it was from their Spellscar, the tadpole’s squirming, or sheer stress and exhaustion was unclear—but it had become disorienting enough that the druid had demanded they make camp for the evening far earlier than they otherwise would wish to.

Thankfully, reprieve was found nearby at a scenic spot along the nearby river. The druid had felt suddenly lighter upon finding the idyllic strip of land, and its vantage point and the stretch of woods separating it from the main roads made it easy to feel safe within. As safe as one could hope to feel given the circumstances, at least. They had begun the work of setting up a firepit and bedrolls before any further input from their traveling companions could be made, short of an abrupt noise of displeasure from Lae’zel. Such expressions had become white noise by that point due to the frequency of such exclamations.

Vrisryn adorned a smug look while taking in the sight of their traveling companions settling into camp for the night, recalling how much they had each begged them to move on and away from the scene while they searched desperately for their own headpiece and armor once outside of the decrepit temple. Each companion had exclaimed that the search was for naught, and each had shut their mouth as Vrisryn continued to procure bags and effects that belonged to each of them. In true nature, they had found their belongings last, after four hours of increasingly frantic searching – three hours past finding Lae’zel’s, Gale’s, Asterion’s, and Shadowheart’s own possessions. It was always satisfying for Vrisryn to watch others eat their own words around them.

Afterwards, Vrisryn wandered aside the river, leaving without a word in search of a shred of privacy as their exhausted party members hitched tents, organized camp supplies, and unpacked their personal belongings from bags nearby the fire.Hiding behind the mass of rock that separated this stretch of the river from the eyes of the rest of the camp, they stared into clear water at their own dirty, knackered reflection. The druid ran a hand against the top of the cold, calm river, just barely grazing it as they said a tender thanks to the universe for the reprieve of the nature around them. Vrisryn could hear the muffled, occasional banter and bickering of their traveling companions nearby; but it was mostly blocked out by the gentle babbling sound of the river mixing with the stream of thoughts bombarding their mind. Everything felt incredibly raw after this day, and they found themselves overwhelmed with the unfamiliar sensations and the sheer weight of the emotions of it all. Their lungs and stomach felt tight and tense, and the migraine had become nothing short of excruciating. They weren’t adjusted to feeling so strongly about anything these days. Their anxiety built as the implications of the current circumstances sank into their reality.

It was most common for them to experience the symptoms and side effects from their Spellscar at night, particularly after stressful days. That being said, resting within the eyes and ears of others tonight was a huge risk. Despite their fatigue, Vrisryn worried over whether they’d be able to find any rest this evening. Typically, they were still able to restore energy from trancing as any other elf; but ever since they had retained their spellscar, they had discovered that their body required the type of sleep that human and half-elves needed. Often, this would occur after their more arduous travels, unnerving experiences, or grave wounds. They hoped to the hells and back in spite of the obvious odds that their body would not require such deep vulnerability tonight, equally fearful of if they’d even be able to settle enough to trance. If they did find reprieve only to wake their newfound companions with any of the side-effects of their Spellscar, who knows how those around them would react to such a thing? Especially given the events that had already unfolded through the day—they found it easy to assume that the best case scenario in that situation would result in being abandoned.

Usually the druid would be thankful for a chance at abandonment and its promise of sweet isolation, but the circumstances were too dire to take such risks right now. Despite their longings for solitude, they needed all the brainpower they could get if they wished to find help with this whole tadpole problem and refrain from turning into a mindflayer. There was power in numbers. Still, they all had little reason to trust one another, and these new associates would likely see no reason to stick around with someone who held such baggage and risk.

It could potentially even be fatal to show such vulnerability; particularly, in the case of the blade-happy githyanki who would likely mistake the unfamiliar Spellscar symptoms as proof that Vrisryn was transforming into an illithid and react far before clarification could be given. Astarion had all but started their introduction with a blade to Vrisryn’s throat, so they couldn’t imagine he’d be particularly willing to stick around at any sign of further risk or burden either. Though, they also felt he could be just self-absorbed enough to completely overlook any effects they’d endure through the night. Shadowheart and Gale seemed the most fond of the druid at this point, and while they had sensed a kindred spirit of sorts in each, they by no means felt they knew either well enough to place even the slightest bit of trust in their character. Abandonment was still far more likely than acceptance, and despite their nature, their wisdom of the daunting odds stacked against them made it impossible to justify any permanent disbanding from their companions for the foreseeable future. 

It’s also not as though Vrisryn could fault their companions if they did react that way in that event. The druid wasn’t particularly fond of this newfound situation either, nor trusting of those embarking on the journey with them–they too would be equally willing to cut off or cull any signs of danger or unneeded weight among the others at this point. Though, that could be the exhaustion speaking more than their actual beliefs or morals. They weren’t squeamish to the idea of violence any more than they savoured such measures. But any way they spun it, they found themselves at the same conclusion that these were still far too dire of circumstances to throw caution to the wind.

Vrisryn cupped their hands beneath the cold water, splashing it along their face as they stared out across the river, still lost in thought. The scent of vittles cooking in the fire wafted from nearby had grounded them back to the present somewhat. The sky was darkened now, with only a sliver of burnt orange-daylight left along the horizon as the speckles of stars and a bright, full moon washed across the sky overhead. The elf exhaled before stripping from their scale mail armor and washed themselves off quickly in the river, dampening their hair in the process but not bothering to clean it. Afterwards, they slipped into simple, comfortable threads that had been picked off the belongings of those they’d fought earlier in the day. Death’s blessing serves life’s purpose yet again, they thought to themselves reverently. Blessings be to the eternal cycle; may the spores of rebirth favor the fallen.

Turning from the corner of the rock, Vrisryn all but jumped out of their skin at the unexpected sight of the aforementioned skeletal enigma they had freed from the dank crypt earlier in the day standing nearby. The undead's blackened eyes stared intently at the druid, obviously having something he wished to say. Oh hells, they thought tiredly as they shook their head and sighed once more, approaching the creature with their arms crossed and a lifted eyebrow.

“We meet again, as predicted,” the undead greeted in its strange diction. “I shall be here in thy camp, for whenever thou hast need of my services.”

“Not to be rude, but… what exactly are you?” Vrisryn replied somewhat wearily.

“There are many answers to that question. None are important.”

“It’s important to me. Nature has an order, and while I have no issue with undead… Skeletons aren’t supposed to be able to talk.”

“Correct.” 

Vrisryn squinted in displeasure.

“…Are you going to explain further?”

“No.” His response was firm, with a tone cautioning to not press the matter further. 

Vrisryn narrowed their eyes at the undead before letting the subject drop with a roll of the eyes, too exhausted from the day to press the matter. He clearly wasn’t any threat, at the very least.

“What kind of services can a skeleton even offer?”

“Should thou or any of thy compatriots perish, I will cleave soul to body once more.”

This piqued Vrisryn’s attention immediately. A flicker of something between hope, excitement, and dread settled into their stomach at the prospect of such magic. The ability to retether the dead to life again, despite the circumstances? It was frowned upon within their circle to seek such channels, as it was considered an offense akin to stealing food from the mold and mycelium they worshiped. Yet, a part of Vrisryn’s heart had always hoped to find one capable of such skills… after all, if one was capable of such a feat, was there a chance that he could…?

“That’s incredibly powerful magic. Why is it so easy for you?” They questioned, failing to mask their obvious intrigue.

“Because it is my calling,” the withered man in front of them retorted matter-of-factly. “There is little else to explain.”

“You mentioned a cost. What is it?”

“A matter of coin, 200 gold, to be precise.”

“Could you… revive others, besides the companions I carry now?”

An unreadable expression passed over the wrinkled, misshapen face in front of them. Something between disappointment and understanding, perhaps even pity–though, Vrisryn themselves could not decipher the look. 

“No. The threads of fate have already woven thy story; I shall only offer aid to thy chapters' future, not those of thou’s past.”

Reality quickly settled back in where the flicker of hope had taken hold moments ago. Disappointed but not surprised, Vrisryn’s expression sobered again. They nodded curtly, wincing as their head pounded harder with the motion, tadpole squirming behind their eye, before walking away from the undead man and back towards camp. There was nothing else to say on the matter, and the being didn’t seem privy to share much else at the moment anyway.

Returning in search of food, Vrisryn found Gale was standing in front of the campfire, clearly brooding. Each companion had set up their personal spots rather efficiently. To the side, Lae’Zel had somehow managed to create or procure a whetstone and was sharpening her blade, visibly irate in her own right. Shadowheart seemed deep in a prayer or perhaps meditation, and Astarion had buried his face within some large, dusty book. Vrisryn approached Gale first, though they had only done so to obtain some of the food nearby, not for conversation.

Just as they came from behind the wizard, he let out a deep exhale, and spoke:

“Go to Hell.”

“And a good evening to you, too.” Vrisryn answered sarcastically, bemused by the unexpected greeting as they reached for a serving of their supplies. 

“Hah! You’re a good sport,” Gale responded, before beginning his tirade. 

“Go to Hell. An everyday expression. So trivial, it’s almost meaningless—but we’ve seen Hell. It’s real. And it isn’t trivial.”

Vrisryn watched the flames in silence, taking a bite of the roasted sausage and carrots they’d obtained, unsure of what to say or where this exchange was leading. Still, they stood watching and listening to Gale intently, enticed by his sullen remarks.

“Devils, dragons, mindflayers — they used to be abstracts. Pictures on a piece of paper… What a difference a day makes. Now, we have tadpoles slithering through our heads like carnivorous foeti,” Gale turned now to face the druid, heavy and worried brown eyes locking with theirs. “That’s not abstract.”

There was a profound sadness and lethargy in the man’s expression that Vrisryn could tell was borne far before the illithid experiences they shared. Despite this, the flickers of orange from the nearby fire across his face painted the wizard in a charming light, Vrisryn noted. He had a comforting, charming visage, in spite of his pessimistic words and downtrodden aura. At least everyone in this little entourage is easy on the eyes… they thought shamelessly. Little victories, I suppose.

“We’re in deep shit, Gale; I can’t argue with you on that. Brooding will get us nowhere. Action will,” they finally offered, unable to spare any words of real comfort or reassurance at the moment amidst the waves of pain shooting through them. There was a moment of weighted silence between them once more as they both stared at the fire.

“This ballet of flames invites reflection,” Gale replied after some time. “But point made; you’re right. Let’s be up with the lark – find a healer before the wee one gets hungry.” He tapped his head with a smirk, emphasizing exactly who the wee one in question was. Vrisryn winced again as their tadpole squirmed almost in response, causing further tension in their sore skull. They felt dizzy for a moment from the pain, but if Gale had noticed anything, he made no sign of it. His back was now turned to them as he cast his thoughtful gaze silently towards the fire.

Behind them, Vrisryn noticed that Shadowheart had stood up from her prayer at some point during their conversation. The half-elf was eyeing the two of them suspiciously, though she turned her head away as soon as Vrisryn went to meet her eyes. Putting aside her seemingly aloof and untrusting nature, Shadowheart had earned Vrisryn’s trust the most thus far. Clearly the feeling wasn’t yet mutual, but Vrisryn wasn’t particularly bothered by that. Maybe it was the druid’s bias for clerics due to the deep gnome–Smilvi–who had helped nurse them both physically and emotionally, during and after their creeping madness in the Underdark. 

Favoritism for clerics aside, Shadowheart had proven fairly trustworthy and sound of mind with strong, individual morals that the druid could respect. Regardless of her icy exterior, they had gotten the impression that Shadowheart harbored a secret softness, as well as some sense of care or favor for them. At the minimum, she had at least been kind & respectful. She had gone as far as to show concern over Vrisryn’s well-being when the decision to recruit Lae'zel was made. Even if it was only due to their help on the nautiloid or a need to not face the odds ahead alone, the consideration was welcomed. Plus, they could understand her wariness and respected her obvious affinity for privacy. 

Vrisryn walked in the cleric’s direction despite the beckoning of the nearby bedroll they’d laid out for the night. They figured they might as well make a round along the camp to check in with all of their company before settling down for the evening. At the very least, doing so reduced the risk of being bothered by one of them with questions or concerns later. Vrisryn doubted they’d be particularly understanding towards any disruption of the limited rest they’d be getting tonight. 

“What were you two talking about?” Shadowheart probed in an accusatory tone as they approached.

“What do you mean?” Vrisryn replied, slightly taken aback by the cleric’s tone. That wasn’t a question they were expecting. 

“You and Gale.” She clarified, casting a scowl toward the man’s direction. His back was still turned to them, lost in thought near the fire.

“We were just discussing the next steps.”

“I see,” She said, pausing for a moment to cast her glare back towards the wizard. “I’d be careful with Gale.”

“You don’t trust Gale?” Vrisryn asked, an eyebrow raised in question. The man hadn’t particularly struck them as fallacious or deceptive by any means, let alone given them any reason for concern.

“He’s a wizard. All they care about is power.” 

“Well, I wasn’t confiding in anyone. I was just talking,” the druid replied defensively, shifting their weight and placing a hand against their hip with a look. The abrasive and negative attitude radiating off each member of their party was beginning to wear on their already thin patience, and they didn’t care for others questioning their judgement. 

“So am I,” Shadowheart retorted coyly. “If we’re to survive, we need to trust each other… You seem reliable. I think you know how important it is that we find someone who can cure us. Best if we focus on that.”

“Let’s not abandon all caution,” Vrisryn warned. “This is unfamiliar territory, and there is power in numbers, Shadowheart.”

“Caution is a luxury we don’t have,” Shadowheart sighed. There was a glimmer of approval and understanding in her eyes at the response of Vrisryn’s words, however. “Let’s rest and wake up at first light.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” Vrisryn replied as they walked away, shifting their attention now towards the pale elf with his head buried in a book. As they approached, Astarion clapped the book shut and tossed it on a nearby pillow. 

“You know, I’ve been thinking…” he started.

Oh, here we fucking go, Vrisryn thought, sighing and preparing themselves for this nights next batch of draining social interaction. Couldn’t they just get a short, simple exchange with one person tonight? Whatever was coming from this exchange seemed to hold promise of being particularly tiring, even more so than Shadowheart’s distrust and Gale’s sorrowful droning. Not to mention that they still had Lae’zel to check in with. 

“And I think there’s something I should tell you,” Astarion continued in a lulling tone. “Nothing big or terrible, just a… small, little detail about me that hasn’t come up naturally.” 

The pale elf moved his hands and shifted his weight in nervous contrast to his inflection as he talked, flourishing the words with his body language. Vrisryn assumed it was an attempt at either some sort of seduction, or perhaps just some form of self-soothing. His anxiety was palpable, and Vrisryn could tell he was struggling to figure out how to approach this matter delicately. If they hadn’t been so exhausted and irate, they likely would have provided more in the way of encouragement or support. It was obvious this wasn’t comfortable for him, but Vrisryn was far too spent to offer such grace to these strangers tonight. Instead, they stared directly at the elf with a firm gaze and a growing annoyance while awaiting his confession, wishing for him to get on with it and spit it out.

“It’s just that I happen to be a — ah, what’s the best way to put this…? …A vampire? A-ha!” His gray-white eyebrows were raised and pinched in anticipation, and an almost shy smirk accompanied his nervous laughter. His eyes looked similar to those of a cornered animal, waiting to see if they needed to bite.

“Well… yes. Obviously.” Vrisryn replied dryly, expression appearing unwaveringly detached and disinterested. Astarions eyes widened for a moment, brows raising, clearly taken aback by the druid’s indifference. He cleared his throat before dropping the expression and replying:

“R-right. Well. Glad we got that out of the way! So… Was there anything else?”

“Hmm…” Vrisryn pondered for a moment, looking up and to the side as their mouth pinched to one corner in thought. They fiddled with the ball of their lip ring between their teeth as they thought.

“I’ve read some texts on vampirism while studying within my circle, but I’ve always wondered how much of it was accurate. Many of the script on the subject is either riddled with obvious bias, or baseless smut. So, I’m curious – how does one become a vampire, exactly?”

“Oh, it’s simple,” Astarion drawled, still fidgeting around in those oddly flamboyant, fluid-like movements as he spoke. Something about the motions amused Vrisryn.

“Just find a vampire that will drink your blood and turn you into a vampire spawn: their obedient puppet. In theory, the next step is to drink their blood. Once you’ve done that, you’re free and a true vampire.”

“In theory?” Vrisryn probed.

“People think that the biggest threat to a vampire is a cleric with a stake,” his eyes shot to Shadowheart with a look of distaste before locking back to Vrisryn’s topaz and green eyes.

“It’s not. The biggest threat to a vampire is another vampire. They’re scheming, paranoid, power-hungry beasts,” Astarion bent at the waist here, leaning in towards Vrisryn at this point. His red eyes lowered and appeared hungry, as if to further illustrate his warning, and his arms spread around him in a sort of shrug as he continued.

“So, why would any vampire give up control over a spawn to create a competitor? Trust me. It doesn’t happen.”

“Interesting… Tell me some more about yourself.” Vrisryn demanded, their interest suddenly whetted by the first bits of vulnerability offered by any of their companions that proved to be a distraction from the tadpole still thrashing in their skull.

Astarion was entertaining to speak to so far, and somehow Vrisryn found that talking to him didn’t unnerve them as much as talking to the other party members did. Possibly, it was just a side effect of the high-elf’s apparent comfort at hearing his own voice in social exchanges–or, it could simply be because vampirism was also particularly intriguing to Vrisryn. Vampires had always seemed to them to be a new, potentially even superior form of being that tiptoed between nature’s lines of both life and death. They had been curious about the conditions and effects of vampirism since they first read about it long ago, and Astarion’s willingness to share with them had pushed aside their usual reluctance for conversation for the moment. However, Astarion’s tone had shifted apathetically and defensively at their probing. 

“What’s to tell? I was sired by a vampire named Cazador. Everything before that is so long ago it’s ancient history. And everything that came after? Well, I’d rather not reflect on it.”

“You must remember some part of your life before that?” Vrisryn questioned, unsatisfied with his lustlacker response.

“I was a magistrate, working to keep the peace in Baulder’s Gate. Imprisoning trouble makers– that kind of thing. I can’t remember much, truth be told. Centuries of torment will do that to you.”

Vrisryn had scoffed internally at the idea of this man as a judge; it was certainly believable given his attitude. Their judgment quickly resided though, as they related all too well to that last statement, and nodded once in response before continuing with their questions. 

“How were you turned?”

“I was attacked. A gang of vagrants-a tribe of wandering ‘Gur’— took issue with a ruling I’d made. They beat me to death’s door when Cazador appeared. He chased them off and offered to save me; to give me eternal life. Given that my choices were ‘eternal life’ or ‘bleed to death on the street’, I took him up on the offer.” 

Astarion looked down at the ground, his mind seeming to trail off somewhere else as he continued. 

“It was only afterwards I realized just how long ‘eternity’ could be.”

“Well,” Vrisryn responded somewhat uncomfortably. The air had turned a bit too vulnerable for their tastes now, and the bitterly sad expression on the pretty spawn left them feeling unsettled. 

“I appreciate your transparency. It, uh, may be best to keep this between us for now though, yeah? I had already figured that to be the case, but I don’t know how the others would react to the news of a vampire in our camp right now… everyone seems on edge tonight, and tomorrow will be even longer than today. We can discuss it more later; for now, let’s just focus on recharging.”

Vrisryn walked away without waiting for a response, eyes locked instead on the nearby bedroll and campfire awaiting them. However, just past the promise of reprieve, Lae’zel’s eyes burned disgruntled holes into Vrisryn’s person, causing them to shudder ever so slightly. There was no denying the gith’s menacing and intimidating aura. With another forlorn sigh, they moved towards the githyanki and prepared themselves for (hopefully) the last interaction of the evening. Vrisryn could already assume what the exchange would entail: complaints about the decision to make camp, an urging to hurry along to this crèche she kept mentioning, and a heavy dose of criticism over anything perceived to be unaligned with the githyanki’s desires.

“A monster forms inside us, and you think to be idle?” Lae’zel began to chide. “I knew your kind to be fragile, but I didn’t foresee the severity. Cease your chatter and be quick about your rest. We must locate a crèche.” “This crèche notion of yours - are you sure it’s our only option?”

“You would doubt me? I do not trust a common healer to extract a ghaik tadpole without killing its host. At a crèche, a ghustil may cleanse us - SAFELY.”

“Still,” Vrisryn countered, too tired to question what in the realms either a ghustil or crèche was.

“We’re hardly going to turn while taking a rest… are we?”

“The parasites inside us do not rest. Even as we speak, they defile our brains and warp our bones.” The strange, yellow-green irises paused for a moment, taking stock of the seemingly fragile elf in front of them before begrudgingly accepting that their alien companion indeed would need rest before they would be able to prove themselves to be of any further use to the githyanki. She flicked a hand as if to discard the thought from the air between them.

“Take your rest. I will stand watch. Should a single tentacle split your skull, I will not hesitate to end you.” Lae’zel retaliated. 

“Well, thank Ao for that.” Vrisryn muttered as they strode wearily towards the bedroll by the fire, settling into it and laying their cloak across them as a blanket. They were thankful to finally be alone with their thoughts as silence settles into the camp around them, leaving only the sounds of nature's ambience filling the cool night air.

At least no one has to worry about being bitten by the local oversized-mosquito tonight with Lae’zel keeping watch…

Vrisryn had anticipated restlessness and insomnia when they finally laid in the bedroll, especially with Lae’zel’s promise of taking watch resulting in a perpetual feeling of being watched by a predator among the rest of the camp. The druid had turned back and forth uncomfortably for hours, the tadpole exasperating the pain in their head. However, exhaustion had ultimately won over both their anxiety and the tension of their migraine. The conversations with their party had drained them far more than initially anticipated, and their body slipped easily into a meditative trance once the comfort of the campfire and stars moving by overhead lulled their eyelids shut. 

In their partially-awake state, the day’s events replayed themselves clearly and precisely. The disorientation and confusion upon awakening on the strange, fleshy nautiloid ship. The struggle to land the crashing monstrosity amongst devils, mind devourers, imps and illithids which they encountered alongside Shadowheart and Lae’zel. The intensity of the crash after; a mindflayer’s burning, hateful eyes the moment before they fell from the ship and were knocked unconscious; Shadowheart’s strange reluctance to share any information about the strange artifact she clung to. The exchange of finding Gale stuck in his portal, and the simple amusement that had stemmed from snarkily slapping his hand before helping him out of his portal; freeing Lae’zel from the tiefling’s trap, despite her refusal to thank them; exploring the abandoned temple on the hillside, and the fight with those who had taken hold within. Then, the experience of meeting Astarion.

Unbeknownst to Vrisryn, their enervation had caused them to slip into a full slumber by this point. While their mind replayed the event, their subconscious twisted from a mere trance into a full sleep as a dream subtly wrapped around their mind. 

“Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain-things cornered!” Astarion called out from the cliffside in their dreamstate. “There, in the grass. You can kill it, can’t you? Like you killed the others?”

“Kill it yourself - you look capable enough.” Vrisryn felt their lips form dryly, mouth parched and chapped from the dehydration and stress of the day, the scent and taste of smoke from the crash overpowering their other senses. They were still wounded from the last three “brain things” they had encountered in the ship below and didn’t feel particularly inclined to help any more stragglers along the road. They were hungry, thirsty, lost, and irritable, and had shrugged carelessly at the pale elf before they turned to continue along the path in the opposite direction. As they moved, they thought to themselves how the dirt looked suddenly and unnaturally fluid; strange. Different. Wrong… What’s happening?

“Oh, and I was so hoping for a kind soul. Well, not to worry!” Astarion spoke snidely. 

In a blink, Vrisryn felt a cold arm hook around their neck and yank them in a swift motion to the dirt alongside the stranger. They struggled against him with a grunt, head panging from the impact, and attempted to sit up as a dagger was pressed near their throat in retaliation of the movement. The rouge had used a knee to pin down their weight near their calf, locking them firmly and uncomfortably in his grasp. Vrisryn glared from under him nastily as they felt the same flash of panic overtake their whole body as it had earlier; this sensation was familiar, and while few would be calm with a blade pressed to their throat, Vrisryn had a uniquely personal reason to feel anxiety at the situation. The thought crossed their mind that this seemed far too vivid of a sensation for a normal trance, but before much more could be considered on a subject, they were pulled back to the dream.

They felt their head cloud with the sudden flashback to the last time they’d been in this situation; this was a stranger, but then, it was someone important. Someone close. A swell formed in their throat, which began to close around itself as their heartbeat quickened and a cold sweat broke across their flesh, body shifting into fight-or-flight. The slightest noise akin to a whimper left them as they struggled against him, attempting to roll out from underneath him quickly; but their movements were too frantic, too predictable. Astarion pressed them down more firmly with a hushed “Tsk!”, bringing his face closer against their lowered, pointed ear. 

“Shhh, not a word. Let’s try to keep that lovely neck of  yours in one piece, hmm?” He lulled, his breath and lips brushing ever so slightly above their ear.

“And YOU - keep your distance,” he spat towards Gale and Shadowheart, who were watching the events unfold with their hands atop their weapons. “No need for this to get messy.”

The events began to warp here; and deeper in Vrisryn’s subconscious, they felt the offputting sense that this was no longer simply a trance’s replication of their day, but rather something else entirely. If it had still been a trance, Shadowheart would have interjected here before Vrisryn inevitably headbutted the vampire off of their person and discussed things more civilly. Regardless, the subconscious awareness that this was not how the events had actually transpired did little to rouse Vrisryn from the distorted sleep. Instead, the pale elf in their mind nicked a part of Vrisryn’s neck, causing a pearl of blood to trickle down their throat as the features on the pretty elf’s face began to blur and morph unnaturally.

“Though, making a mess seems to be your specialty, darling. And to simply give you freedom is certainly more generous you’ve been towards others, isn’t it? Even death would be far too merciful for you, you wretched traitor.” 

Vrisryn’s heart sank as their eyes attempted to focus on the shifting presence over them; Astarion’s curled, white locks had changed shape, sprawling far past his shoulders, morphed and shifting to a familiar walnut shade; his red irises now became amber, and previously palled skin was tanned and peppered with freckles and thick, plush fur. The voice speaking to them had shifted as it spoke as well. It was familiar, but different – deep, loud, and certainly not Astarion’s.

Treolam, their mind cried in realization. Their dream self had formed the name around their mouth to speak it at the same time, but no noise came out with the movement. Wetness pricked at the inner corners of their eyes, and their blood ran cold.

“What could you possibly have to say to me, my sweet slaughterer; my corrosive consort! Come back to tell me how my elders were right about you and your allegiance!?” 

The apparition spoke harshly, but it sounded crude and particularly corrupt among the warm, playful, almost loving tone of the satyr’s voice. Tears began to spill from the druid’s eyes at the sight of him–in the dream as well as the waking world–and they struggled against the grasp atop them, reaching in an attempt to place a hand along the man’s bearded face to no avail. The pressure atop them was sharp and heady, and Vrisryn made a pathetic gasp as the blade cut a bit more into their neck, leaving little rivers of blood spilling from their skin. Suddenly, a thick ooze began to crawl across amber eyes above them in twisting, thorny patterns; first appearing as a bright-blue but then shifting to black, darkening them. A warped, wide smile was plastered on his otherwise pained expression. 

“I thought you wanted to see me again, Vris! Do you know the trouble I went through to find you here? Amuremsis bet me I couldn’t find you again, and I bet you thought you lost me again, huh? Oh, little love, I told you before! So long as the fey runs wild, I will always be able to find a way back to you.” 

Vrisryn choked at the reminder of these words; the precious and private promise he had sworn them in their youth was now being twisted and contorted in a foul meaning by this apparition. Yet, it felt so real; he felt so real. Vrisryn could smell the woody musk of him, feel the wirey yet plush fluffs of fur on his arms, limbs and torso against their flesh, see every freckle and callous against his leathery skin. Their heart ached to hold him, to kiss him, even in spite of his cruel words and the blade against their throat. 

“Treolam, I–”

“Shhh shshsh, you have to listen, little lamb, NO SPEAKING,” he interrupted, dropping the blade in favor to wrap both his hands around Vrisryn’s neck in a chokehold that silenced them with a whimper. The placement of his grip threatened to block and even crush their airways completely, lest they remain still where they laid in the crook of the satyr’s elbow. 

“It’s so important you follow these instructions! You don’t want to lose me again, do you? You still want and trust me, DON’T YOU?” 

The entirety of his eyes had glazed over with a slick blackness now; tears of blood streamed down his face and dripped along Vrisryn’s cheek as he placed himself directly atop them, pinning them fully into the earth beneath them, which had become the consistency of a thick fluid and sank beneath their weight. It had the same sensation of sinking into mud or quicksand. He removed one hand which now was smeared in Vrisryn’s blood, replacing it with the dagger once more before issuing his commandments.

“You can never forget me, you can never forget what you did. YOU killed us, all of us! You left me, and you failed to protect anything you loved. You always will, you know this. STOP LYING TO YOURSELF THAT IT WAS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL! You killed us all–your kin, your clan, your home. You broke us! You destroyed us! You ABANDONED us! You let me and Amuremsis go–you should never forgive yourself for what happened. You can never escape this. We will haunt you fore-”

Suddenly, the crackle of a firelog buckling into the embers of the dying fire back in reality jolted Vrisryn from their slumber. Their eyes shot open, and for a second they remained still and rigid, as if the apparition from the dream still had them in his chokehold. Cold air highlighted the wet tears streaking their cheeks, and their chest moved with heavy, short breaths. After just a moment they realized that it had been a nightmare, and their hands shot towards the sides of their head frantically; feeling for the all-too-familiar halo of the static, icy sensation which they’d come to associate with the activation of their spellscar. Their fingers met only flesh though, and they exhaled the breath they had subconsciously held with relief before glancing around camp to get their bearings. Lae’zel was still up, keeping watch as promised, though she had been turned towards the surrounding woods rather than towards the party at the moment. No one else was awake yet. 

Luck is on my side tonight, they thought. 

They couldn’t have rested for more than three hours. Typically, they would want to trance for another hour or two to feel fully rested–but despite the nightmare which always accompanied their body’s affliction with sleep, they found themselves fully awake. Their migraine had faded to a dull, hazy feeling, which was uncomfortable but bearable. Their body still felt heavy, though Vrisryn felt that had far more to do with their nerves about being in the company of others and the tadpoles in their head than anything else. The others were still asleep, and based on the coloring of the sky and the stars’ placements, dawn was not far off–two hours at most.

Regardless, Vrisryn knew rest of any sort would be lost to them now, and they opted instead to take this chance for some well-deserved solitude before their companions awoke and their adventure began once again. Pulling the sack of camp supplies close, they reached for another log to add to the dwindling fire, as well as some bread and cheese to curb their appetite. They wiped the remnants of the nightmare induced cold sweat off with their shirt before switching back into their armour and walking to where Lae’zel stood watch. 

“Do githyanki not need sleep? I can watch until everyone else is up, if you want to rest a little.” Vrisryn offered genuinely, their raspy voice morphing into a yawn at the end of the question. Though it was extremely subtle, Vrisryn could detect the faintest expression of exhaustion on Lae’zel. 

“Tch’! There is no need for rest in the astral plane–sleep is considered a triviality in a realm where time ceases to exist.“ A small sigh escaped her mouth after the claim, giving proof to her own exhaustion.

"Though I admit that it seems my body will need sleep in this Fay-run. I accept your offer; but do not think me to be vulnerable. Even in sleep, I shall wake to tear you from navel to neck should you provoke such a need.”

“I don’t think anyone here wishes to raise your ire, Lae’zel. Go - rest. I’ll just be scouting the area nearby.” The druid shifted into wild shape before Lae'zel could respond, assuming the form of a red-coated wolf.

Lae’zel had looked befuddled for a moment, and Vrisryn considered that they may have never witnessed someone use wild shape before. Regardless, she walked away with another “Tch,” before settling into a bedroll within her tent. Vrisryn was starting to become more and more unbothered by the githyanki’s mannerisms and threats, figuring it was just the only way that she knew how to communicate. She was not the first gith Vrisryn had encountered, and what little Vrisryn could recall of the Githyanki’s alien culture was not for the weak of heart or stomach. The others the druid had met first hand were far more provokable and venomous than Lae’zel seemed, at least. 

It would be unfair to expect their companion to be anything but what they are. As they had told Shadowheart at the start of this, dangerous company was exactly what you needed in a fight – and Vrisryn had no qualms with the blunt or brutal nature of their companion, given what they appeared to be up against. It would just take time to grow accustomed to such aggressive reception, especially during such early hours. 

The elf turned their attention now to their surroundings, sniffing the air in their new form. The heightened senses from the wolf-shape flooded their mind with various sensations and impulses. No danger, though; nothing but prey. The instinct of their wolf form took over, and the higher parts of their mind figured they’d earned some down time to enjoy the canine form. It was comforting to be in wild shape, blending into nature fully and thoughts of tadpoles, illithids, healers, and the uncertain road ahead blurring as a new purpose took over: a hunt. The wolf was easy to be lost to, and Vrisryn particularly favored this form when they felt the urge to run. 

It was the perfect form to take for this morning, where the need to vacate their current surroundings and the company inhabiting it had itched as uncomfortably under their skin as the tadpole did from behind their eye. Even in wild shape, they could feel it; though, the instinctual pull towards the hares, boar, and deer inhabiting the woods around the camp and the hunger in their stomach helped to detach from the sensation and its accompanying thoughts. Wide, heavy paws hit the ground in a full sprint and hot air panted from the canines mouth. A flood of scent washed in, and in spite of the worries that Vrisryn hosted, the wolf version of them hopped around delightedly, a playfulness taking over the form they now inhabited.

The druid spent the next hour and a half hunting in the woods surrounding the camp; though, they released each prey they caught. They felt no hunger for food, only for relief this morning. In wolf form, it was easy to let worry melt away and enjoy the innately optimistic nature it offered. They had nearly lost track of time frolicking with a fawn when they noticed the orange sunlight creeping halfway up the horizon. With a whine and a yawn, they shook their thick coat and stretched their form lazily. They allowed themselves a quick roll in the dirt, and after a few playful sneezes as well as a friendly nuzzle against the fawn they'd been playing hide-and-seek with, they began their trek towards camp. For the first time since they'd embarked that morning, they took their time walking along the woods.

Everyone back at camp had woken and began packing their belongings, eating, and bickering once more. Vrisryn's wolf-heart panged with an urge to run away, to return to the solitude and comfort of the woods nearby; but their higher logic still won in spite of it. As they returned towards their belongings, Shadowheart caught sight of them first; and to Vrisryn's surprise, the cleric gasped, grasping at one of her hands suddenly and looking utterly... frightened.

Granted, Vrisryn did forget that not everyone was used to wild animals just walking up on them. They shook themselves out of the wild shape, lifting themselves from the dirt and brushing off the debris before locking eyes with a now very-relieved Shadowheart.

"Sorry - I forgot you hadn't seen me in that form yet. I always forget that most people are intimidated by the presence of wild animals," they contended.

Shadowheart threw her gaze up and to the side, thick plaits swaying behind her shoulder with the movement as she scowled.

"It's fine, though I almost sent an arrow your direction. Best warn me next time you intend to take such a form."

Vrisryn nodded, and moved towards their bag to organize their supplies for the day and begin planning what direction they would embark in next. Lae'zel was rushing them each to hurry up, and Astarion was complaining loudly about having to start traveling so early. Gale was barely awake yet, sleepily munching on food and seemingly tuning out all else.

It appeared it was going to be a long day indeed.

to be continued...

[krvla]

.

[aphroditessaturn]

𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐈𝐓, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐓 || 𝐇.

pairing || homelander × fem!reader

summary || Homelander constantly destroys your underwear to the point where you have none left. In conclusion you force him to buy you new ones and have the whole media see it.

warnings || SMUT; we've got tittie sucking, fingering, sublander (I love that word) but also domlander? p in v, unprotected sex, big load (he's a supe so ofc), rough sex, did I forget something?

note || this is my first homelander you guys and sure ain't the last... idk what my problem is with these difficult men and making them soft, please reblog/comment and give feedback!

BLOGS | WEBSITE | AO3 | WATTPAD | TAGLIST

“Yes, and tomorrow you have an interview with Fox,” Ashley told Homelander as she trailed after him, clipboard clutched in her hands. The blonde nodded, not even listening completely because his mind was already on you.

He was only meters away from you and could already hear your light humming over the music that played in the background. Ashley kept talking to Homelander’s dismay, not that he wasn’t interested, especially if she was talking about his ratings.

However, you took over his thoughts and body, god, his body longed for you. With his heavy footsteps he walked towards his penthouse and thinking about every position he would put you in.

Homelander opened the doors, and Ashley was still there. He was close to cursing her out, but stopped in his tracks once he laid eyes on you.

You stood in front of the trashcan, throwing away your lingerie. Completely naked. His eyes went wide, as naked as the day you were born you stood there.

Ashley squeaked, holding her clipboard in front of her eyes, “I’m sorry, god, I’m so, so, sorry,” she apologized profusely. Quickly she run out of the room, shocked as to what she just saw and hoped that Homelander wouldn’t punish her.

“What the fuck are you doing,” he questioned you with a glare, slowly making his way over to you.

In response you pouted at him, pushing all your destroyed lingerie into the trash, “well, you see all my pretty lingerie is destroyed and now I have to throw them all away,” you looked up at him with innocent doe eyes.

“Doesn’t explain why you’re naked,” he pressed, although Homelander didn’t mind but he hated anyone else seeing what’s his.

“I have no underwear, dummy,” you teased him with a smile, one that turned his mind around. He had known for years by now and knew exactly that you acted dumber than you actually were.

His patience was waning and he fought himself to not look at your perfectly hard nipples touching his suit coveted chest.

“I can’t even wear my plain once because my handsome boyfriend ripped them when I was on my period,” you added, acting as if you didn’t know what else to do. Your arms snaking around Homelander’s neck.

“Then buy fucking new ones and don’t let anyone see you naked,” he growled as his hands found a vice grip on your hips. “Mhm, but you know the rule. If you break it, you have to replace it,” scolded him, rubbing your breasts against his suit covered chest and pulling on his concentration.

“Fine, take my card,” Homelander hissed, he wanted to get over this topic and simply fuck you. He pushed you back against the wall, his leather gloved hand stroking along the back of your thigh.

“Don’t think so, you will come with me baby boy,” you grinned at him, hooking your leg around his torso.

Homelander didn’t like that, he couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized and how would it look if a superhero was buying lingerie?

As if you could read his thoughts – which by now you could – you pushed back, caressing his cheek while pushing him back onto the sofa. He laid back with you on top of him, still gripping your waist in a way that was sure to leave bruises.

“Imagine how good your ratings would be if you buy your pretty girlfriend all that lingerie. Men would love the control you have, and women will love seeing a devoted boyfriend,” you whispered, praising him as you moved your cunt over his clothed erection.

He released a strained groan, already painfully hard, “everyone will love you,” you whispered into his ear. You leaned down, your nipple hovering over his lips.

You knew how much he loved sucking your tits and you knew what to say to get everything you wanted.

“And don’t you wanna choose what I should wear? I’m too stup-,” “Fine, I’ll fucking go with you,” Homelander hissed and switched you around, now on top of you and his pearl white teeth bared.

Your thighs clenched, your cunt already soaking wet, but you had to suppress the smirk of triumph.

Homelander latched onto your nipple, sucking on it hungrily while his right hand kneaded your unattended breast. You threaded your hand through his gold-blonde hair, harshly tugging on his roots.

His tongue licked around your nipple before gently biting down causing you to arch your back, “John,” you moaned.

With a ‘plop’ sound he released your breast, looking up at you through his beautiful lashes.

Slowly his hand trailed down to your core, the cool leather of his glove causing goosebumps to dance along your skin. He rubbed his thumb over your clit as his attention directed towards you other breast.

You could feel his desperation, it wasn’t from the conversation just moments before, no. It was because of the other team members had gotten his last nerve, VOUGHT had gotten on his last nerve, everyone had gotten on his last nerve.

“Oh, baby,” you mused with a loving smile, taking a deep breath. The pressure on your clit increased, and your breath quickened.

John immediately picked up on your behavior, you were close to your high. He inserted his middle and ring finger inside you, “fuck,” you groaned at the new feeling of his thick fingers.

“They’re all brainless idiots, can’t do a thing right,” he gritted his teeth, curling his fingers against your g-spot. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you tried to come up with words to response, John expected it from you.

“Mhm, yeah, they’re-,” your sentence was cute off by a loud moan slipping from your lips as he bit onto your nipple.

He sucked harder, a desperate call for praise, “you’re right, they’re all brainless, but you, you’re the best of them. John, you’re smart, pretty and the greatest supe,” it rolled off your tongue naturally.

To you he was perfect, he could do no wrong and maybe you were sick in the head for thinking that.

“Make me come, please make mommy come,” you pleaded, grip still tight in his hair. Without hesitation John brought you to your orgasm, a pornographic moan fell from your mouth as you bucked your hips up to meet his thrusts.

“You did so good, you’re perfect John,” you praised as your high rushed through your blood, god you felt amazing.

Homelander reeled in your praise, he needed it to function properly. While he enjoyed, loved, controlling you, telling you what to do and not to do, John worshipped the ground you walked on.

-----

Ahley organized the press along with fans to stand in front of your favourite lingerie shop, Homelander was for once wearing something casual – you forced him to.

“It looks better, trust me,” you told him with a pointed look, “you want them to love you, don’t you?” you added, knowing this would push him over the edge.

Now he wore dark jeans, sneakers and a matching polo shirt. He had a charming smile on his face as he escorted you into the store which was empty – expect for a cashier. Never before did you have the chance of shopping private like this, online shops were your best friend.

Your man looked around, already picturing you in some of the lingerie that catched his eye. “What do you think of this one?” you asked, showing him a blue piece, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, just a baby blue lace set.

“It’s uhm, pretty,” boring, fucking boring, was what he wanted to say. You rolled your eyes playfully and continued looking around, until something unique came into your sight.

Quickly you took your size and vanished into the changing room, of course Homelander heard you and followed you curiously.

You put on the hot pink bra, the underside was see-through, and the top was decorated with flowers. The slip was the same, meaning most of your vagina was visible add to that it was connected with two strings on each side.

The accessory that made you pick it was the choker, it came with a chain that went down between your breasts and was attached to flower shaped belt which fitted your waist perfectly.

Homelander waited outside, impatiently looking around the room until you were ready. Then you opened the curtain, revealing yourself.

You smiled at him innocently, “how does this look?” you asked. He took a step towards you, hand tracing along the fabric and causing a shiver to run down your spine. Suddenly he hooked his point finger around the chain, slowly dragging you to him.

He leaned down, lips hovering over yours, “you’re playing a dangerous game little lady,” he whispered. You pouted, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him impossibly close.

“I’m not playing any game,” you told him honestly, playing with the tiny hairs on his nape. “Don’t think just because they’re many, many people out there I won’t fuck you till you can’t walk anymore,” Homelander threatened, but was it really a threat if you would enjoy every second of it?

“Promise?” you smirked and within a second you were pressed against a wall. Homelander slid his hand down to your core, in your mind you already knew what was about to happen.

With that he snapped the pink panties in half, pushing his two fingers inside you, “look at that, little slut is already wet,” he taunted you.

Your head fell back as he curled his fingertips against your cervix, his unoccupied hand came up to lift your leg around his torso.

“Does that feel good mhm? Come on let me hear you, let them hear you,” he rubbed his thumb over your clit, finally drawing a moan from you. Homelander kissed you, hard, pushing his tongue into your mouth.

He showed his dominate side, hand leaving your side to undo your hand around his neck. Slowly moving it towards his belt, a silent order to open it which you follow without hesitation.

The trousers of his suit fell to the ground, Homelander hosted you up into his arms and entering you in one stroke, giving you no time to adjust to his size – as if he ever did.

You moaned, biting your lip in pleasure. For a moment he stilled inside you, his heavy breathing hitting your skin. Slowly he moved his hips upwards, you could feel him stretching your cunt, feel him hit that spongy spot inside you.

“Fuck, you’re fucking me so good, so good,” you groaned, eyes rolling in the back of your head. Homelander grinned at you, “yes, yes, tell me how good I’m. Fucking tell me and I will let you cream all over my fat cock.”

“You’re good, fucking amazing, baby. No one compares to you, you’re so good,” you chanted as he pounded into you at a ruthless pace.

Sometimes you wondered if your cervix could form bruises, but what you knew was that it could become difficult to walk out of this store.

A tight knot formed in your stomach, pleasure building up and you gripped Homelander’s hand, guiding it towards your clit.

“That’s right, I’m fucking you and you love it, you love me. Say it, come on,” he growled, letting go of your thigh and you closed your legs around his waist, sucking his cock deeper in. You need to feel more of him.

His hand came up to your throat as you didn’t answer, stilling inside of you, “I said, tell me you love me, or I will fill you until my seed is dripping down your legs and you can’t take it anymore, but you little lady, little slut won’t get to come.”

Tears welled in your eyes, you wouldn’t even mind it and he fucking knew it, but for your own sanity you had to answer him. Play into his game, because in your sick twisted mind you enjoyed it.

“I love you, I love you so fucking much,” you whimpered, clutching your hands on his shoulders, begging him to move.

“You do, don’t you? Want me to make you come, want me to fill you up?” he asked, though he knew the answer he, wanted to hear it from you.

“Mhm, yes, want you to make me come, please, please and fill me up, I want it so bad,” you begged, and he finally moved again, rocking his hips up. They you begged him brought him closer to his high, he loved having you at his mercy, doing everything he wanted.

A pornographic moan slipped from your lips as he rubbed over your clit and hit your g-spot. You reached your high, the knot exploding and smashed your lips onto Homelander’s to muffle another moan.

He barred his teeth, releasing his cum into your cunt and his pace slowed down. “Come, paint me baby,” you whispered into his ear.

----

“These please,” you grinned at the woman working the register, letting a pile of lingerie fall onto the counter. Every sort of color and shape, nervously the woman cashed you up, “a bag?” she asked to which you nodded.

“That will be 300,36 please,” she said, “cash or card?” she added, looking at you and not daring to spare Homelander a glance.

You held out your palm to your boyfriend who huffed before putting his card into your hand, “thank you,” you said and laid the card down, then stepping aside once it signaled, “pin, “ you told him and gestured to the machine.

Homelander put in the pin while the cashier packed everything up, handing it to you, “thank you very much,” you smiled.

Finally, she found the voice to ask Homelander for an autograph, “oh, sure everything for my fans! You guys are the real hero’s,” he showed her his pearly white teeth and signed her card.

“We could do this a lot more often, go shopping together, maybe have a little lunch date,” you trailed off, teasing him.

Outside there was a lightening of reporters and fans, all wanted pictures and asked questions. In Homelander style and because of Vought, he answered some of them, but he had to keep himself together.

"What is it like to have such a devoting boyfriend?"

"Anything else you do for your girlfriend?"

"How is you future looking? The two of you are a beautiful couple!"

"Thank you, thank you! The future is bright and what my girl wants she gets, there is truly nothing I won't give her," he smiled at them brightly. You posed for pictures, getting bolder with every flash.

Homelander wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side to whisper in your ear. "You better behave little lady, I will punish you until you can't walk a fuckinf millimetre."

"Promise?"

please reblog/comment and give feedback! I would love to know if you like my Homelander fics, I have so many ideas

BLOGS | WEBSITE | AO3 | WATTPAD | TAGLIST

[loveharlow]

headcanon for jayj😜

s3x when they were at pougelandia and the pougies catching them

idk why but this has been on my mind sorry if this is weird

SEX IN POGUELANDIA

smut/mentions of smut, 18+

•° not discreet. at all.

•° you'd been stranded on the island for weeks and you didn't think not having sex would bother you but...

•° something about this island made jj ten times sexier

•° and he was ungodly sexy before.

•° you two had been trying to keep it pg, considering you were out in the jungle and surrounded by all your friends

•° but when the opportunity reveals itself, who were y'all not to take it?

•° the group had split up in pairs, going to look for food or fresh water, anything to aid survival, really

•° you and jj happened to stumble across a beautiful waterfall, like stunning scenery + water? what could be better??

•° the both of you bottled up some of the clear liquid before jumping in, the water cleansing your dirt-caked bodies almost immediately

"is it bad that i kind of want to stay here? it's so beautiful..."

•° then he's behind you in the water, whispering in your ear

"i can think of something more beautiful than this."

•° and normally, you'd laugh at his flirting but the words and his breath on your neck sent a chill down your spine that settled...somewhere else

•° before you know it, you were both butt naked and dripping wet, fucking on the most uncomfortable rock known to man

•° it was probably the most dumb teenage idea you'd ever had - unprotected, outdoor sex while stranded on an island

•° but after weeks of barely touching or anything, you were both bursting at the seams for some kind of intimacy

•° you didn't even realize how loud you were being...the both of you.

"oh...fuck, jj!"

"i know, baby, i know..."

•° you'd have a village of small cuts and bruises on your back later but it was all worth it for the feeling of him spilling inside you as your walls contracted around him

•°...which probably wasn't the best idea either

•° jj was still inside of and on top of you when you heard them

"dude, what the fuck?!"

"are you guys serious? this is supposed to be an expedition! not a free porno service for whatever birds and shit are out here!"

•° you and JJ cursed, laughing and scooting away from each other as you covered yourselves and looked for your clothes, still getting scolded by the rest of the group

"you probably just alerted bears and shit to where we are, you freaks!"

��loveharlow.

heads up: i added emoji anons to my blog, so feel free to send an ask to take one if you frequently send in asks!

[f14fun]

pixelated love (!simmer x mv1) - chapter 6

synopsis: in which the famous three time world champion max verstappen wants to learn how to play the sims 4. except, he doesn't really know how to. so what does he do, search up a youtube tutorial. low-and-behold, y/n's video is the first he watches.

smau ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ profile | masterlist ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ prev | next | series index ˚୨୧⋆｡

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yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 187,306 others

yourusername: living out my best sugar baby life thanks to @/maxverstappen 1 😈😈 ty schatze ❤️💦🤤

view comments:

maxverstappen1: You're welcome mein leibling ❤️

user1: BYE what alternate reality joke thingie have i stumbled upon🧍🏻🧍🏻🧍🏻

user2: i feel lost, confused, and BETRAYEDDD

user3: she got that million dollar baby life coming her wayy 🤑🤑💸

user4: chat... i fear that the flirting... erm... m-m-may not be a joke anymore

yourusername: hmmm... maybe not... do you agree?? senpai-san? 🥹🥹🥹

maxverstappen1: GTFO my face with that bullshit.

user5: deffo still friends (that fuck) BUT FRIENDS. 😭😭

user6: BYEEEE 😢😓

landonorris: Well well well... aren't YOU the reason why Max is "booked out" for the next week.

landonorris: YOU TRAITOR 😡😡😡

yourusername: @/maxverstappen go tell your girlfriend, that i'm your girlfriend

user7: WHAT?

user8: ???? I AM CONFUSION

maxverstappen1: Now Y/n, what did we say about quoting pop culture references/song lyrics to me...

yourusername: 😢😢😢 i'm super duper sworry

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris GTFO 🚪

landonorris: WHAT WHAT WHAT???

landonorris: I'm just friends with a big bunch of traitors 😓

georgerussell63: Wtf mate??

oscarpiastri: Hello?? So mean Lando... Not chill at all 😞

user9: BACKTRACK?? IS SHE FR DATING MAX???

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taglist: @hiireadstuff @sinofwriting @mehrmonga @the-untamed-soul @glai1023-blog @loloekie @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @sheastri @llando4norris @gwginnyweasley @carmenita122 @ririyulife @pausmoon @ur-fav-ave @eveninggstar @maddie-naps @erin-odonnell04 @rexit-mo @ems-alexandra @si1ver06 @iamred-iamyellow @bibissparkles @percypie @formula1blog @lanadelray1989 @rylieverstappen-sargent @luvsforme @eiaaasamantha @kaysmiles42 @mvaldez7821 @stinkyjax @sweate-r-weathe-r @laneyspaulding19 @mingyusbigrighttoe

some of these didn't get tagged, and i'm having trouble (?) it's being very weird, idk, so please let me know if your name is here and it didn't tag you ❣️

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author's note: ty guys for reading this fic! 😍🫶🏾

pls let me know if this chapter was funny, i'm feeling extremely unfunny these days y'all's (ik right, impossible 🤡🤡😞) just because i've been burdened with the task of *unfortunately* summer school

soon, all the next published parts will be published on a schedule, and i won't really be able to add anyone to the taglist for two-ish weeks

comment if you want to be added to the taglist! ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

[audioroleplayconfessions]

i dont want to reveal my identity (youll see why in a sec lol) so im saying this here rather than my main account cause im relatively well known in redacted tumblr (annnd im a pussy and this is sort of weighing on me a bit).

i dont know how to say it but there are these chats?? like mainly on discord and instagram and i think some other places too (idk i dont have twitter or x or whatever but i think theres one there too) where people have lists of these accounts they dont like and resolve to 'punish them'. im sure im explaining this terribly but i cant really say much without the people in these chats instantly knowing who i am and adding me to their insane hate pile puritan police bullshit.

i got added to one of the discord chats in august by a mutual from a redacted server i was in (not the main one like some fan one from tumblr) and genuinely? it is fucking insane. think genuine csi shit. like sorting people into who supports 'problematic ships' and 'supports problematic characters' or who are 'rape apologists' or even just 'icky' and genuinely allocating certain people to harass and threaten them. and i mean seriously organising. as in scheduling when to spam anons or making hate posts or trying to work out their real identities to 'drill the lesson in' (actual quote).

whats worse is that many bigger accounts in the fandom are in these chats. like people ive been friendly with for months (if not years) who i thought were cool, but then act completely different there. i wont name drop or anything, mainly to respect the rules of this blog and preserve my own identity (cause god knows they dont deserve that after some of the shit theyve said and done), but if youre in redacted tumblr, you defintely know at least some of them. 100% you do.

ive gone out of my way to warn some of these accounts ive seen on there frequently (so if you got an anon warning you about these chats hello!! its me!!) but i cannot understate how fucking crazy they are. not only do these supposed 'progressive accepting people' resort to misogyny, transphobia, homophobia and racism (esp this one, jesus the slurs) towards any account they dont like, they also genuinely view themselves as these insane moral authorities set on 'cleansing the fandom of the filth' (another actual quote from one of the discord chats. i genuinely had to take a lap after reading it bc it was so cringe and insane it physically hurt)

i swear im telling the truth with this btw, i know it sounds so stupid and unbelievable but i just needed to get it out of my system because ive been lurking in this chat and i feel kinda responsible for all the hate these poor people are getting, since im not standing up against them. so to anyone whos received heavy hate for 'problematic opinions' im really fucking sorry man. i shoulda tried to put a stop to it but there were so many big accounts there i was afraid of getting ostracised from the community or targeted myself.

anyway, point is. be careful. watch ur faves. and god, everyone in this moral brigade stop being so fucking demented. youre making this unfun for everyone.

(thank you for giving a space for me to speak about this btw bc i genuinely dont know how i wouldve told people widescale otherwise. i really appreciate the space you provide for us all <33 )

.

[thehereticdiaries]

WKTO: Holy Fuck, that's Ateez

Summary: You and your best friend have made it to the concert you've been looking forward to for MONTHS: Ateez! You have an amazing time, but at the end of the night you want nothing more than to crash onto the hotel bed. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) those plans get interrupted.

Mix of tweets, texts, and written story! Let me know if this is any good, it's my first try at an smau.

Series Masterlist

"Y/N, come on I need you to help with my eyeshadow," Chelsea complained from the hotel room's bathroom.

"Okay, okay. Honestly, why did you even pick a look you know is beyond your skill set?" You grumbled, grabbing both of your makeup bags and dragging your best friend out into the main room.

"Because I have you!" She grinned at you and plopped on the floor in between the beds. It took you a little under an hour to do both of your makeup looks and get dressed {idk how to do makeup irl sorry if this isnt enough time}.

"Damn, we look so good!" You gushed as you checked your outfits in the mirror.

"Hell yea we do! But what now? We still have, like, seven hours until we need to leave."

"We sit in silence and go on tiktok until it's time to go," you said while grabbing your phone from the bed. "Just make sure you don't let your phone die. We have power banks, but we should leave at 100%."

"Excellent plan." Chelsea mirrored your actions, sitting next to you on the small loveseat against the wall. First thing's first: you needed to post a photo of your outfit.

Seven hours passed by very quickly with the help of edits and compilations. You buzzed with anticipation while you waited for the Uber in the lobby.

"Chelsea I am literally going to explode," you bounced on your heels in excitement.

"No because same. I can't believe I'm going to see them with my own two eyes," she grinned and smacked your shoulder repeatedly. You swatted her hand away, looking at your phone when it vibrated.

"Yes! Uber's here, let's go." You corralled her out the door and into the car. The driver, a lovely middle-aged woman, thoroughly complimented your outfits, letting the two of you ramble on about Ateez. There was no way in hell she would remember all of their names, but she was very sweet and nodded along in all the right places.

"Holy shit, this place is huge," Chelsea whistled at the size of the stadium. You tugged her into the entrance line, chatting with the other ATINYs.

"I love that you added San's anarchy symbol! Isn't it going to smudge, though?" A pink-haired girl behind you asked.

"I went on some cosplay blogs and found a really good primer and setting spray. The person that suggested them goes to conventions as Sukuna, Akaza, and Kankuro and their paint lasts all day," you explained, pulling up the photos the cosplayer posted.

The venue employees finally opened the entrances, stealing your attention from the girl behind you. Your impatience grew stronger the closer you got to the security line. You didn't really expect to find a spot at the barricade, despite Beomgyu's teasing. But you had luck and Chelsea on your side, and she managed to worm her way up front, dragging you along with her. At 7 o'clock on the dot, the lights dropped and music blasted from the speakers.

After their final goodbyes, Ateez disappeared backstage. The overhead lights blinded you as they powered on. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard and your throat hurt from screaming for three hours straight.

"That was better than amazing. That was life-changing. A true religious experience," Chelsea sighed dreamily. You hit up the merch booth before heading outside to wait for your ride back to the hotel.

"Are your ears ringing as bad as mine?" You leaned your head on Chelsea's shoulder.

"Oh definitely. We really should have listened to Hyeongjun and Yuna and gotten earplugs," she agreed loudly.

"You're shouting." You pinched her knee as emphasis. She rolled her eyes and pulled you to the Uber that parked nearby. It was past 11 when you got back to your room and you were starving.

"I'm getting DoorDash, what do you want?" Chelsea asked from where she splayed out on the floor. The two of you ordered an excessive amount of food, sitting in a comfortable silence while you waited.

"David will be here in five minutes with our food, go wait in the lobby." You glared at the older girl.

"Why me? I'm comfortable."

"You still have your shoes on. Just go, please," she whined and shot you her best puppy eyes.

"Fine. You're lucky you're cute." You grabbed your room key and trudged down to the lobby. You tapped your foot impatiently, looking around at the artwork on the walls. A group of very familiar faces entered from a side door, and your eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

Despite your best efforts, you couldn't keep your eyes off the idols. You sat like a deer in headlights. Did you want them to notice you or did you want to launch yourself into the sun? Yes. Well, they did notice you, but they were much more subtle with their glances.

Before Hongjoong could stop them, Seonghwa and Yeosang approached you.

"Hi! You're an ATINY, right?" The eldest was the first to speak. You nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence. "Were you at the show?" Again, you nodded.

"Skipping the small talk, did you know we were staying here? Did you follow us from the venue?" Your jaw dropped at Yeosang's questions.

"No! No, of course not. I booked a room here a couple weeks ago because I found a deal on Groupon," you quickly explained yourself. "I'm so sorry if I freaked you out, I swear I didn't know."

"Looks like Hongjoong and Jongho were worried for nothing. I'll let them know," Seonghwa smiled at you before turning back to his other members. The others eyed you with a mix of apprehension and interest. You were very aware of Yeosang standing two feet to your right.

"How did you like the show?" Yeosang titled his head, waiting expectantly for your answer.

"It was amazing. I had so much fun, it was unlike any other concert that I've been to," you praised, feeling shy under the idol's gaze.

"I'm glad to hear it."

"I knew she was at the show." You jumped slightly when San suddenly appeared next to Yeosang.

"You knew?" The older boy furrowed his brows.

"Mhm. I recognized her hair and belt." You flushed as their eyes trailed over your body. You awkwardly clasped your hands in front of you to hide your exposed midriff.

"Are those real?" San gestured to the symbols on your thigh and hip.

"The one on my leg is. This one is paint."

"It held up really well," Yeosang noted. You fumbled over your own thoughts. You were practically short-circuiting at this point and couldn't figure out how to continue the conversation.

"Are you Chelsea?" A man wearing a DoorDash hat handed you the large bag of food when you nodded.

"That's a lot of stuff for one girl," San teased.

"It's not just for me. Chelsea is my friend, we ordered on her account. Speaking of, I should really get back to my room. I'm sure she's wondering where I am." You began a hasty retreat.

"Wait, what's your name, then?" San asked before you could turn to the elevator.

"O-oh, I'm Y/N."

"Well, Y/N, we're having breakfast at the cafe across the street tomorrow at 9. If you're interested, you can join us. Bring Chelsea, too." You gaped at the idol, unable to process the invitation.

"Uhm, okay. Yeah! Sure, I'll talk to Chelsea about it. Uh, gooodnight," you stuttered and scurried away to the elevator.

"Goodnight, little ATINY!" San called out just before the elevator doors closed.

Permanent Taglist: @furfoxsake22 @babygirlskz98 @miniverse-zen @holly-here @corgilover20 @eastjonowhere @bookswillfindyouaway

Series Taglist: @staytinyluv

[trainnster]

A Message for our Dearest Friends ✨

[[ Before anything, I do give a TRIGGER WARNING for those who may not want to read about anymore of Nirmal's escapades, and also who may not want to look into discussions of z!on!sm, harrassment of children, and just general nasty ass behavior from Karen Supreme over here. If you do read though, I very much thank you! ]]

So y'know unfortunately I was not added to The List™. Really sad, might just piss and die from it all. HOWEVER, I care about this fandom and I'm always for being petty, so I guess I'll take the bait and send a nice little message to our dearest friend @gordontheengineswifenirmal and her little bestie boo @drackara for trying to fuck with MY friends!! 😁

FIRST OFF, I am not nor will I ever take shit from some bitch who named herself after that fugly ass grey cat from Garfield, so no I am not scared of you and actually I'm SO happy you chose a fandom I happen to be in to try and be a little prick to so I can go into some of the shit you've done!! Like omg thank you SO much for this opportunity, girl! 😊✨

SECOND, you are old enough to be the parent to about 60% of this fandom yet lack the simple maturity basics that even a 5 year old has, so like idk but maybe you should look into going back to school and doing something with your life, since it's obvious you're just rotting in your friend's basement and don't have any sort of diploma or certificate to your name teehee!! 😘

THIRD, going on with how grossly uneducated you are at your crusty dusty ass age, let me remind you that nobody, I mean NOBODY- Actually, here, lemme add the definition so you can get it:

NOBODY [pronoun] / ˈnoʊ.bɑː.di / : not anyone

(SOURCE: Cambridge Dictionary)

Yeah, so that? Yeah, nobody owes you shit over actual families who are going through one of the worst mass humanitarian disasters we've seen in modern history! There's this other thing called "independence", yeah, and THAT means that we ALLL get to choose where our money goes! Isn't that so great? Yeah so that means… People get to choose if they want to monetarily support you!!! 🥳 Isn't that just so lovely?

And y'know, maybe it's just me, but I dunno if people would want to use their independence over their money to send it to a random 42 year old over helping people escape literal genocide. Doesn't sound so great does it? Yeah, maybe it's kinda like people have hearts and understand that genocide is far worse than some random 42 year old who spews z!onist rhetoric, disrespects sex work, and demands monetary gain from literal kids who she not only calls slurs but also actively exposes to NSFW content on her little confessions blog!

Y'know… maybe THAAAT'S why people don't send you money! Yeahhh it's cuz you're a basement-dwelling prehistoric z!onist toad who actively threatens the safety of literal children in online spaces!! I got it figured out!! And y'know, I got you figured all out too, darlin', because I sure as hell know this ain't your first rodeo and this post sure as hell ain't mine!

And y'know I could just keep going on and on, but considering you're probably red in the face and sobbing like the infant-minded subhuman creature you are over lil ol me simply going over just one single little atrocity you've committed on this fandom, I think I'll spare you from holding you to the mirror for ALL that!

Anyways, I do hope this all finds you just SO well, and maybe you can understand just a teensy bit why people y'know… Don't like you! Yeah, so uh hope your holidays go great, hope the new year treats you better than how you've treated ANY of us, and I do hope that poor single braincell gets some friends in the incoming year because he sure is real lonely in that hollow head of your's! Anyways buh-bye hon, hope you have a fantastic day 🥰

[prayerforlovingsorrow]

If fear and hunger guys had tumblr:

💰 veteran-funger Follow

Hey! Did you know the dungeons of Fear and Hunger have treasure in them! For the low price of 50 gold, I'll sell you a treasure map. Dm me on discord thanks.

🗡 cumhara Follow

@celeste-on-hiatus I'll be back in a few weeks! Love you!

🍇 celeste-on-hiatus Follow

What.

🏹 legarde-hater Follow

I fucking hate le'garde. He keeps on having holy crusades for "Alll-mer" or something. MY WIFE AND CHILD DIED. I hate him so much. I want him dead. Sorry for the vent. It's been a tough week. I am going to track him down and kill him with my bare hands.

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

Le'garde isn't that bad. Calm down, the crusades had a purpose. Stop being parasocial about a guy you don't even know? Sorry about your wife but you gotta get over it. You're a full grown man.

🏹 legarde-hater Follow

I added "Le'garde apologists" to my DNI, leave me alone freak. Go and kiss Le'garde's ass somewhere else.

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

I will! You know, they say Le'garde is in the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger?! Yeah. I'm going there. Fuck you. I'll save his ass and send you pics of us together.

🏹 legarde-hater Follow

Hey guys I'll be at the dungeons of fear and hunger for a bit.

🏹 legarde-hater Follow

Hey do you guys like my dog?

💀 old-night Follow

That ain't a dog. It has twice the amount of eyes??

🏹 legarde-hater Follow

Her name is moonless <3

🗡 cumhara Follow

@celeste-on-hiatus how do we feel about another kid?

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

On the way to save my cutesy bf! Wish me luck!

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

Found some people in a cave.. gonna talk to them. Maybe they'd like to hear about alll-mer. I don't think they've left this cave before :)!

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

Um.. they did not like alll-mer. In other words, a blue haired guy and a small girl saved me! Wish us luck. And yes guys, i do love legarde. Idk what "comphet" is? Sorry. Is that an old god? I read about that in a book.

🌚 rher Follow

Comphet is an old god, yeah. He's the old god of denial.

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

Oh thanks!

♟️ enki-ankarian Follow

Today I almost died as a sacrifice. Though, I stopped it because I had a vision. Apparently something inside the dungeons of Fear and Hunger is waiting for me. I'll update my blog as I continue on.

♟️ enki-ankarian Follow

I hear screaming. Dogs barking and a man crying. I'm reading.

♟️ enki-ankarian Follow

Something broke through the wall. I'm reading. Lots of information to bring back.

♟️ enki-ankarian Follow

Can't get fucking quiet in this dungeon. Gonna have to leave this library and find a new one. People are so inconsiderate sometimes.

⚔️ legarde ✅️✅️ Follow

Day one dungeons of fear and hunger. They gave me rotten flesh as food. Not befitting for a man such as I.

⚔️ legarde ✅️✅️ Follow

Day two, dungeons of fear and hunger. They chained me up and this rather large man has been watching me. Help?

⚔️ legarde ✅️✅️ Follow

I hear footsteps. Maybe someone's coming to save me!

⚔️ legarde ✅️✅️ Follow

I think the guard died.

🏹 legarde-hater Follow

I lived bitch.

🗡 cumhara Follow

Well I left the dungeons. No treasure but I got a kid I guess.

♟️ enki-ankarian Follow

Still reading.

🔮 nosramus-blogs Follow

Still reading.

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

How to do necromancy

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

Why doesn't he love me

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

What is a "lesbian"

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

Why do i like when i see girls kissing

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

Le'garde is dead.

🛡 legarde-no1-fan Follow

Leaving dungeons now. I didn't save le'garde but i found out i was a lesbian.

[jillsandwhichs]

7 Minutes in Heaven

Chapter 2 to RE Character x Reader Smutshot Collection

Masterlist

Pairing: Fem!reader x Jill Valentinr

Summary: You & Jill are at a college party with some friends and you all decide to play 7 minutes in heaven

Status of your guy's relationship in this oneshot: Friends w clear feelings

WC: 4.4k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Uses of alcohol & weed, Dirty talk, Semi public sex, Oral sex (Reader recieving), Slight praise kink, Jill loves ur thighs, Readers first time being eaten out, Making out and idk what else tbh

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Thank you

"Never have I ever... Drank alcohol off of someone's body?" Your friend, Hayley asked as she bit her lip. The rule of the game was: If you've done it, ya drink, if you haven't, don't. You were sitting right beside Hayley and on the other side of you was your close friend, Jill. No one drank out of the seven of you besides Hayley & Carson. "Hayley, the entire point of the game is to not drink to your own questions." Ana said with a chuckle, rolling her eyes slightly. "Bite me." Hayley retorted.

You weren't very close to anyone in this group, it was you, Jill, Hayley, Carson, Ana, Blaine & Daisy. The only reason this group formed in the first place was due to a group project forever ago, ever since, you guy's stuck together. You're closet to Jill but also Hayley & Blaine, they're kind but also sort of stuck up... In a way... "My turn!" Daisy snickered out, "Never have I ever had sex in a car?" She said with a cackle, sipping from her red solo cup.

Alongside Daisy, everyone else sipped besides you & Carson. "You fucking virgins." Blaine teased you two. "Oh fuck off." Carson flipped him off. "Or you could fuck her." Blaine referred to you. "Uh, absolutely not." You scoffed at his remark, straightening your posture. "Oh, would you rather it be me?" "No, I'd prefer Jeremy Irons or Mike Myers." You laughed, biting your lip. Those two men were your celebrity crushes. "Or Angelina Jolie." You added, nodding.

"Mmm, Angelina is a great pick. Drew Barrymore is gorgeous too." Jill spoke with a husk tone, biting her lip. Everyone knew that Jill was a lesbian, it was obvious. She already came out but even if she hadn't, no one would believe otherwise. "I'll go next." You said whilst clearing your throat. "Never have I ever smoked weed?" You voiced, then immediately sipping, literally no one in the group didn't sip.

"That was too basic, I'll go." Carson chortled, setting his cup down. "Never have I ever masturbated?" Carson chugged every last drop of his cup, causing the entire group to lose it. "We know you get to game so you have to game yourself." Ana gazed at him. Another thing the group knew was Ana had a thing for Carson, although she's never admitted it. "Suck my dick." Carson scoffed. "I will." Ana laughed out, drinking some of her beer. "Be right back, going to get more." Carson stated, walking into the crowd of other students to get more alcohol.

"I haven't said one yet so here goes nothing... Never have I ever flirted with a professor?" Ana giggled, drinking the last bit of her beer too. You, along with Hayley also drank from your cup. No one else did. "Have you really?" Jill nudged you, she seemed rather surprised. "Yes, with Mrs. Hastings and Mr. Frasier." You gandered up at her. Jill gave you a weird look, one she's never given to you before. "When was this?" "Don't know, like over a month or so ago." You explained. "Why?" "Just wondering." Jill mumbled, looking away from you quickly.

"Guess I'll do one, never have I ever kissed the same sex?" Jill questioned the group, instantly taking a sip of her alcohol. Blaine took a quick drink, along with yourself. "Blaine..." Hayley spat out, "The fuck?" "Nothing wrong with some brotherly love." Blaine snickered, winking at Hayley, causing her to give him a grossed out look. "Hayley, I can change that for you." Jill said deeply, puckering her lips playfully. "Gosh, no, I'm straight." Hayley laughed awkwardly. No one was straight up straight or outright gay, least that's how you feel.

Carson walked back over and plopped on the couch beside Ana & Blaine. Daisy was sitting on a recliner whereas you were between Hayley & Jill. "This shit is boring, let's play something else." Daisy requested, setting her plastic cup onto the coffee table. "What?" Carson asked of her, curious on her idea. "Seven minutes in heaven." "That's totally middle school." Ana scoffed out. "Stop being annoying, Ana. Sure Daisy, let's do it." Hayley licked her lips before shooting her eyes at Blaine. "Blaine, you and Daisy go into that storage closet, now."

Blaine nearly choked on his drink when she said that. He & Daisy hooked up once, nothing more. It was pretty good though. "I don't mind." Daisy stood up, adjusting her skirt. "That's my girl!" Hayley giggled, squeezing Daisy's hips... So much for being totally straight... "Shit, why not?" Blaine sighed, taking Daisy's hand in his and leading her to the storage room. "Start that seven minutes." Daisy tittered, winking before shutting the door behind her. "Got it." Carson noted, checking the clock. They'd have to stop at 11:45 PM.

"Who'll go next?" You asked. "Hmm..." Ana hummed out, her eyes shooting back and forth between you & Jill. "You and Jill... Girl on girl action." Ana established, sitting upright. You rolled your eyes playfully although, you weren't necessarily opposed to that. "Then after you two, me and Carson." Ana shared, making Carson leer slightly. "Then who am I with?" "Zack is here tonight, we can ask him." Ana jokingly hit Hayley's thigh. "Oh shut up." Hayley cackled, holding Ana's hand. Zack and Hayley were off & on but currently on nice terms.

"Well, while those two are dicking around, how about we play two truths and a lie?" Hayley wonders aloud, wanting to see how everyone felt. "Sounds fun, I'll go first." Jill voiced, clearing her throat. "Two truths and a lie... I'm currently failing Chemistry, I own lingerie and I plan on purchasing a cat soon..." Jill said with a slight laugh, waiting to see everybody's responses.

"Hmm..." You mumbled, "The lie is that you own lingerie." You state confidently. "I doubt you're failing Chem, that is the lie." Carson debated. "I have no fucking clue." Ana murmured. "Definitely the lingerie one." Hayley agreed with you. "Smart girls, I do not own lingerie. Therefore I am failing Chem and I also plan to purchase a kitty soon." "Aw, how cute." You whispered to her. "I'd like to go next." Ana mentioned, sipping her drink once more.

"Two truths and a lie..." She paused, "I have a fishing license, I've never drank rum once and I've hooked up with Joseph." She finalized her sentence, biting her lip as she watched the group think of their answers. "The lie is that you have your fishing license because why the fuck would you even have that?" Jill snorted. "I second that." Carson agreed with her. "The lie is you've hooked up with Joseph." You replied, locking eyes with Ana. "The fishing licence one, yeah." Hayley added.

"You all suck... Besides you." Ana pointed at you. "How are you so good at this?" Jill questioned you, gazing at you. "I'm a mastermind." "Mm, yeah you are." Jill studied your face for a moment before looking away. "My turn!" Carson insisted. "I butt dialed the cops once, I received a blowjob on the bus and I bought a vibrator thinking it was for men back in middle school." Carson stated, knowing this was clearly going to shock them.

"Those are all fucking insane so I'm clueless." Ana laughed, smacking his arm playfully. "I'll knock one off then, one truth is the blowjob bus one." Carson snickered. "Oh so the vibrator one is the lie." Hayley stated. "Agreed." "Carson is an idiot so I'm going with the butt dialed one." Jill mumbled, taking a quick shot of her drink. "Damn Jill, props to you, yeah, the lie is that I butt dialed the cops." Carson smirked at her. "How the hell did you think a vibrator was for a man?" "Don't know, don't remember." Carson replied to you.

"You go, then I will." Hayley said kindly to you, waiting for your three responses. "Okay..." You mumbled. "Alright so, I used to make out with my Tom Petty poster, Tanya kissed me the other day and finally, I have been selling answers for tests in Calculus." You gave some tough ones... "The lie is you & Tanya, yeah?" Jill pondered. You just put a "shushing" gesture over your lips. "You definitely wouldn't sell answers, that's the lie." Ana stated. "The Tayna one, that's a lie." Hayley retorted. "I actually have no idea... You definitely still make out with your Tom Petty poster." Carson sarcastically said.

"The lie is that I sold answers, nicely done Ana." You praised her. "Fuck yeah." She pulled her fist down playfully. "Why the hell did Tanya kiss you?" Jill whispered to you, her face looked pale. "Because why not?" You giggled, sticking your tounge on Jill's shoulder jokingly. You two were quite close and physically affectionate but lately, she's seemed... Off? She's been your distant and seems to be weirded out by you easily. She never used to act this way.

"Oh, there time is up." Hayley expired, standing up and jogging over to the door, placing her ear up to it and hearing the sound of them talking. "Hey, get out, times up." Hayley chortled, knocking on the door numerous times. Shortly after, Daisy and Blaine walked out of the room, they both seemed composed. They most likely didn't do anything although, what do you know? "Was it steamy?" Ana grinned. "Definitely." Blaine snickered, plopping back down on the couch.

"Alright, you two, off to the room." Hayley instructed you and Jill. "Seven minutes, spend it wisely ladies." Hayley teased you two, patting both of your asses playfully. You guys were also quite close with Hayley, she was pretty buzzed, hence her affectionate side showing off. You took ahold of Jill's hand, the both of you making way to the storage closet.

Opening the door, it wasn't too small nor too big, it was about the size of a sauna would be. There was clothes on the inside along with random boxes. "It's dark as shit." You laughed, trying to find a light switch. "Here." Jill said, pulling the string of the light above. The yellow tinted light filled the micro room. "Much better." You sighed, sitting down on the carpeted floor, Jill did the same, sitting right across from you. "What are we supposed to do for the next seven minutes?" You asked with a titter. Jill eyed you down for a few seconds before speaking, "Anything at all."

You eyes wandered on her for a moment before you asked her something, "What's been going on with you recently?" "What do you mean?" "You've just been... Off... Especially today." You explained, resting your head against the boarded wall. "Elaborate?" "Well, anytime I brought up something like flirting with the professor or kissing Tanya, you got all quiet or defensive in a way." You muttered out, feeling genuine concern for her. "I don't know what you mean." Jill nervously laughed out, fixing her hair as a way of fidgeting.

"Listen, if I've done anything this past week or even just in this one night, you have to let me know." You said softly to her, reaching your hand out to hold hers. Jill's breath hitched as you did this. Wasn't it obvious? "Kiss me." Jill asked, which left you confused. "Kiss me like you did Tanya- Or even better than how you did with her." She articulated, her caring eyes not leaving your siren eyes. "Are you feeling okay?" You wondered, not wanting to kiss her if she's simply distressed. "Just do it." Jill tittered, getting on her knees and placing her hands on your cheeks, turning your head up to face hers.

Sucking on your bottom lip slightly, you gazed into her eyes. You slid your hands to her slim waist, loving how her body felt in your arms. You two had never been this close. This was all new. Was this what was bothering Jill? Does she have some sort of feelings for you? "Are you drunk?" "For fucks sakes, I'm not drunk. Z Y X W-" She began to say the alphabet backwards but you shut her up by pressing your lips to her, pulling her lanky body against yours. "Mmm." Jill made precious noises as she kissed you back.

As quickly as you could, you shoved your tounge into her mouth, moaning as you felt her tounge slip against yours. Her hands went from your face and to your ass, caressing it whilst you made out. You were wearing a skirt with a long sleeve shirt, she had all the easy access she could ever want. "You don't know how long I've wanted this." Jill uttered between kisses, her slick hands going beneath your skirt, feeling your panties as she squeezed your ass. "Oh yeah?" You murmured, biting on her lower lip.

Pulling you into her, Jill held you as she sat you on her lap, her hands now on your midriff. "Wait, pause." You pulled away, setting your hands on her waist too. "Is everything okay?" "Yes, yeah, I just... You do realize I've like never done this... Before..." "I'll teach you everything." Jill reassured you, "Anything you need to know baby." Jill whispered, staring at you as her hands went underneath your shirt and towards the back of your bralette. She used one hand to unsnap it, using her other to take it out from your shirt.

Your breath shuttered as she grasped your breasts, squeezing them and pinching your nipples. You moved your hands to the end of your shirt, lifting it up and removing it, literally leaving Jill speechless, her eyes and mouth showing her reaction well. "Like what you see?" You joked, taking both of her hands in yours. Jill didn't even reply, instead she latched her mouth onto your breast, swirling her tounge on it rapidly. A pool of wetness filled your panties as she did this. "Oh mmm." You moaned out, your hands going to her hair, pulling on it as she sucked on your tit.

The more her tounge was relentless on you, the quicker you grinded your hips on her, your clit feeling light pressure whilst doing so. "Does that feel good?" Jill questioned you, popping your tit out of her mouth for a short period of time. "Yes." You stammered, gripping onto her shirt. "Good, keep doing it." Jill demanded, now her mouth wrapped around your other breast. Her hand rubbed your waist too. You never knew you could feel such ways, especially with one of your closet friends.

"Jill..." You heaved, your nails trailing through her silky hair. Shortly after, she pulled her mouth away from your breast, licking her lips and gandering at you. "You're not actually a virgin, are you? Like you've had sex with a man before, or even a woman?" Jill raised the question. "If you are, that's okay." She noted, both of her hands holding your rear. "The most I've done with a man is give them head and as for a woman, I've only like..." You paused. "I fingered Tanya, she did the same to me." You whispered, blush exploding on your serene face.

"Why Tanya of all people?" Jill scoffed, envy plastered on her face. "I don't know... Heat of the moment?" "Is this a heat of the moment... Moment?" Jill asked with jitter in her voice. You sat in silence for a moment before giggling, "No... I'm not drunk like I was with her..." You mumbled out, your arms resting on her lean shoulders. "I don't want this to ruin what we have." Jill admitted, her fingers twiddling with your hair. "But I also don't wanna put it behind us." Jill seconded what she said.

"Jill, it won't ruin anything between us, I swear." You promised. Jill nodded, biting her lip. "I have another thing to ask you." "Yeah?" You hushly spoke. "So you've never like... Been eaten out? Or did it to another girl?" "No, I haven't." You said with a shy tone, looking down, not really knowing what to say. "Let me be the one to do it to you." Jill requested, her hands now going to your thighs, caressing them with ease. "You've done it before?" "Yeah." Jill shook her head.

You weren't surprised one bit. You felt a warm pit in your stomach. Timidness was over riding your mind. You were nervous. "Don't worry, it'll feel good." She reassured you. Her hands soothingly slipped up your thighs and onto your lower back, holding you tightly to her front, leaning you down to lay down. She grabbed some clothes off of the rack for you to lay your head on. "I assume we have like five minutes left, but I'll have you done in two." Jill smirked, having you right in front of her.

Jill swept your skirt up, having it flop onto your stomach. She was on her knees, both of her hands wrapped around your thighs. "You know, I really love your thighs." Jill teased, kissing your lower inner thigh. "Really?" You muttered out, your arms holding you up so you could still watch her. "Yeah... Pretty fuckin hot." Jill bit down on it, causing you to wince. "Did that hurt?" "Little bit... But in a good way." You huffed out. "Lay back all the way, I'll take care of you." Jill snickered, her lips trailing upwards.

You listened to her, lying back all the way back, your head resting on the pile of clothing. "Before I continue, tell me you want this." Jill seeked out consent. You hesitated, not because you didn't want this but rather because you were in shock. "I want this." You mumbled out, your hands resting on your tummy. "Okay..." Jill responded, kissing your other thigh now, nibbling on it lightly. You felt your core begin to wetten further. No other person has caused you to get like this.

"I remember you once said you wish you had much thinner thighs... To that, I just wanna say, the way they are now is so attractive." Jill praised you further, kissing them and biting them, leaving clear marks. "You think so?" Your voice low. "I know so." She responded, giving a much sharper bite to your right thigh, causing your hips to buck. "Jesus Jill." You chortled. "Can't help it." She murmured, now neither kissing nor biting, she was licking all along your upper inner thighs, getting closer and closer to your very wet cunt.

"Wait!" You shot up, placing your hands on top of hers. "What, is everything okay?" Jill said worried, pulling away from between your legs. "Yeah, yes, of course, it's just, I need to like let you know that I haven't like shaved in a week or so." You panted out, your heart beating fast. You were just feeling so anxious about all of this but you also really wanted it. You know Jill will take care of you. "Baby, you think I care?" Jill snickered, drawing herself towards you and placing her lips on yours, pushing herself on top of you.

Your head hit the clothing again, her lips not leaving yours as she made out with you once again. She seriously called your nerves whilst doing this. "I'll make sure you feel good." Jill reminded you between pecks. "I know." You whispered, licking her bottom lip as the two of you continued your feral make out. You felt her hand go between your legs and it caused your heart to skip beats. You're now realizing how long you've wanted this. It felt so lively.

"Can I?" Jill questioned. "Mhm." You nodded, allowing her to take your underwear off. She hooked her two fingers underneath the band of your panties, slipping them down your legs until they hit your feet. "Just relax, okay?" Jill added, kissing your cheek quickly before towing herself back down to have her head between your legs. You took a slow, deep breath as you gazed at her, she really was beautiful. How come you never noticed this before? Not her beauty, but rather how feel makes you feel. How you yearn for her.

Lifting your legs up for only a second, Jill removed your underwear from your ankles, tossing them to the side before she momentarily made eye contact with you. She looked hungry. It was clear ; She needed you. "I wanna taste you." Jill kissed your knee carefully. "Then do so..." You begged, your arms on either side of you. She giggled before hungrily shoving her head between your thighs, her tounge swiping between your soaked folds. Your mouth shot open, a guttural moan releasing from you. "Oh my God!" You laughed out, almost in surprise as she feasted upon you.

Feeling her sly tounge lick your folds was fucking fantastic. She worked her tounge so well. "Jill..." You huffed out, now moving your hands onto your stomach. Her nails rubbed your thighs as she ate you out, she seemed to really love them. Jill has a thing for thighs, no matter the size. Yours in particular though are so sexy to her. She practically worships them. Jill recalls one time in class, you wore these tights with shorts and she couldn't keep her gaze off of you. It's safe to say she's been crushing on you for some time.

The noises she made whilst eatiing you out only made your lust increase. It sounded like she was starving, and she was - she was starving for you. You wanted to please her in some way too, but you guaranteed there'd be no time after she's done with you. You wanna taste her as well, feel your fingers inside her, do anything she wants you to do. Was this lust or love? Or was it both? Your mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts. The making thought being that you were getting closer and closer to your breaking point.

"So fucking good." Jill hummed as she stuck her tounge inside you, moving it around with immense speed. You could feel your wetness seeping down your ass, most likely dripping onto the floor. Wasn't your house, you didn't really care. You actually didn't have a clue whose house you were at, College parties get wack, clearly. "Faster..." You whimpered, moving your waist around, wanting her to please you even more. "Anything you want..." Jill began to suckle on your clit with haste, making that heat in your lower stomach get bigger & bigger.

Her fingers left marks on your thighs as she ate you faster now, her entire mouth on your pussy. "Oh it feels so nice." You sighed softly, your eyes hardly being able to stay open. You couldn't help it whenever your hips would buck forward, she was just eating you so well. "How are you so good at this?" You pleaded with a giggle, your head leaning back as your body arched upwards. You could feel your muscles tightening between your legs, you knew you were close but you didn't want this to end. Occasionally, you heard the group talking, sounded like they were continuing two truths and a lie.

"I can tell you're gonna cum, don't be shy baby." Jill hummed again, her tounge decreasing in speed, now it just flicked over your clit roughly. "I wanna taste you as you cum." Jill shared with lust drabbled in her voice. When she said that, something about it pushed you over the edge. Numerous whimpers came out from you as you hit your climax, you even pressed your thighs tightly against her face, it felt uncontrollably. You lost your touch with reality. You've never had an orgasm this pleasant before.

"Oh." Jill grinned, licking your clit a couple more times before then kissing your thighs, ultimately pulling away. She wiped the wetness from her lips as she locked eyes with you. "Fucking hell..." You panted, sitting up right. Jill looked at her watch and chuckled. "Two minutes, what did I say?" She smirked, bringing her hand down to your chin, grabbing onto it and kissing you lovingly. You smooched your back. Your legs were literally shaking from how she pleased you. "Looks like I did my job correctly." Jill teased you sincerely.

"Come stay in my dorm tonight." You stated, it was a need, not a want nor a question. "What about Hayley?" "She'll probably go with Zack anyways." You muttered, taking Jill's hand in yours. Jill nodded, a small smile on her cute face. "Jill... Do you want me to please you now?" You asked her quietly, reaching for your undergarments and shirt. "We won't have enough time, but that's what going back to your dorm is for, yeah?" She snickered, kissing the top of your head.

"Is my make-up or hair too messy at all?" You questioned, pulling your underwear back on. "No, even if it was, that'd make it all the more rushing." You listened to her words, blushing slightly. You then put your bra back on, struggling to hook it. Jill took notice and tittered, "Here, let me." She uttered, going behind you and encasing the bra together. Her hands slithered up your shoulders before she then kissed the back of your neck, her lips dancing down to your outer shoulder.

You groaned as she did this, it felt great. "Jill..." "Hmm?" "I don't want this to end." You admitted, turning around to face her again, now just in your skirt and bra. "Who says it has to?" Jill cupped your face, stroking your flushed cheeks. "Let's just ditch this shit party, I have my dorm key." You bit your lip. "Atta girl." Jill smirked, kissing you again.

You put your shirt back on, having Jill help you adjust and while she did, you both heard a unnecessarily loud knock at the wooden door. "Yo, ladies, times up." It was Carson. "One second." Jill shouted out, fixing her hair. "Oh yeah, they definitely fucked." You could hear Carson murmur that outside of the door. "Oh shut the hell up!" You yelled, hearing the group cackle in response. It was true though, she did just give you a feeling of a lifetime...

[versegm]

Coming out of my self-imposed tumblr ban cuz this is the third post I see along the lines of "man we gotta jump ship" so here are some other ways to be social/do fandom/ect. I'm not gonna call them "tumblr alternatives" because I won't lie to you these are gonna be very different experiences from tumblr. But if you use tumblr as a way to meet new people/post your thoughts/do fandom/keep up with folks, then maybe one of these is worth looking into.

COHOST

I don't use Cohost so idk if it's good or not, but all the people who use it tell me it's A Whole Lot Like Tumblr. Got pretty mixed reviews on this one, people seem to either love it or hate it, either way you could check it out it's free.

PILLOWFORT

My main bitch, so I can actually talk about it.

Pros:

Lots of cool privacy features

Porn is allowed

Website has been consistently getting updates and listening to the userbase

No ads because it's user-funded

Cons:

Being user-funded means the website is frequently struggling with money

NEOCITIES

This one isn't really a social media, it's a host for websites.

Pros:

You can do whatever the fuck you want here

Cons:

You have to code it all yourself

If you didn't immediately skip this rolling your eyes, here are some ressources to get a blog running with minimum efforts, and a cool zine to figure out what to put on your blog.

FANLISTING

Ye Old internet way to find new peeps in your fandom. It's a list of fans. I'm listing thefanlisting.org here because it's the biggest hub of fanlistings out there, but there are plenty that aren't listed so if you've got a topic dear to your heart it might be worth googling up "[fandom/ship/character] fanlisting" and see what turns up.

Pros:

It's literally just adding your name to a list of fans. Low spoon effort.

Cons:

If you want to talk to any of the people on the fanlisting you have to actually manually contact them via email or website or whatever they provided for contact. High social anxiety effort.

Anyways that's all I got chief. You probably already heard of half of those and the other half might have made you go "hey wtf that's not at all what I use tumblr for why would I need these" and the answer is it's not my problem. I discovered these when looking for ways for me personally to do social media so if you do social media differently sorry I can't help ya. But hey maybe you'll discover something new who knows.

Preemptive answers to things I am sure will clog my notifications for years to come:

None of these are like tumblr! Look bestie this is like the fifth time people consider abandoning tumblr at this point you have to make your peace with the fact that there is no other website like this one.

The websites you mentioned are nearly empty there's no one in my community here! Bro if you want a website with lots of people you don't need me listing off where you can go you already know where people are going (aka: Bluesky) If you're so scared to be alone then invite your buddies to move there together so you can chat together idk. Be the change you want to be in the world.

I'm not gonna use these. Then you've got my blessing to not use these. I assure you you don't need to reblog this post just to tell me you won't use these. I don't care.

Anyways. Peace. Dunno how many people this is gonna be useful to, but if you wanted to branch out of the usual reddit/bluesky/twitter, hopefully this will help.

Bunch of pillowfort invite codes under the cut since I got a bunch. Sorry I got no cohost as I said I don't use that one.

[detonade]

Good morning and happy birthday to Isagi Yoichi. Rambling under the cut :

Hello hi uhh hey, yeah this is my very first post. It's been a while since i started editing panels from mangas i like and uh, i decided to do one for Isagi's birthday!!! I definitely could do better, but i had 2 days to finish this and this is the longest time i've ever spent on an edit let alone a personal project. I think i did alright. Maybe. Idk the standards (well i do, kinda, i think)

Like, the overall sillhouette of the first panel, especially Kaiser's arm position and hand is kinda wonky, idrk how to do Isagi's hair sprout and i think i failed him (on his birthday too??? I could've done better), shading's awful but i did consciously refused to learn how to shade soo, also the abibas, bastard munchen's sword thingy and Kaiser's rose tattoo is, lmao. Kaiser's hair is also a bitch fuck i forgot his rat tail.

But this edit is not for Kaiser!!! This is dedicated for Isagi Yoichi!!! This is for the blue lock mascot birthday!!! The egoist himself!!! I might fix it later though, haha, who knows. (God i hope i don't have any more motivation to do so, because i am exhausted)

I don't even have a banner yet, why am i this dedicated to Isagi, he's not even on my fav list??? (Might as well add him to be it at this point, because he's one of the major reasons i enjoyed a sports manga to it's fullest) Why is my first post about some blue man's birthday, my whole blog is a mess (of nothingness, because it's so empty) right now, the only thing you'll find is just, this

Anyway this year's april fools joke is actually me!!! I spent hours on this and i look at it and go 'eh'. I don't, know, if i'm, proud, of this, like at all??? For god sake i forgot Kaiser's rat tail and i don't feel like adding it now, this took me 16 hours, which is longer than actual art that i made from scratch???

There should be a version where Kaiser instead said 'How does it feel, to forgot to add my rat tail? ... You clown' to me. That'd fit too.

And uh once again, happy birthday to Isagi. I can't believe i mentioned Kaiser's name more than his in a post that's supposed to be about him and his birthday