#but apparently i can’t even get that anymore

[doctornineandthreequarterss]

Could you just imagine in episode 9, after the hiatus, that Eddie’s in Texas and is already looking at places and being encouraged by his parents, even as Chris doesn’t really talk to him anymore than when they were apart. And back in LA, Buck is going around claiming he’s fine, that he’s okay, and “really Bobby I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not like a kid I adore left the state and I couldn’t help Eddie when he needed me to convince Chris to stay. And it’s not like I didn’t feel like I was really falling for Tommy and wanted him to move in with me and instead he broke up with me because apparently he’s not my last or some stupid crap. And now Eddie is moving back to Texas for Christopher because he can’t bear to be apart from his kid any longer. But I’m fine Bobby. I’m fine. Everybody might always leave me but I’m FINE.”

And then Maddie gets kidnapped and Buck is FINE because Chimney is not fine and Jee is confused about where her mom is and Buck has to be fine, someone has to be. Until Eddie shows up and tries to check in on Buck and Buck absolutely loses it on Eddie about how everyone leaves him but he had promised that wouldn’t happen. He had said when Red died that the 118 wouldn’t lose each other and now Eddie’s leaving and HE.CANT.HANDLE.IT.

[echoessilencepatienceandgrace]

-lucanis and rook-

lucanis has lost so much, so much was taken from him, everything was always determined for him, sometimes without his choice or say. getting out of the ossuary gave him a chance to reclaim his life.

it gave him a chance to heal, to move forward, and it’s all terrifying. lucanis is a master assassin, heir apparent to house dellamorte. he can be nothing less than that in his own mind and he cannot let the team, or rook, know how badly he is struggling.

it’s why he takes on such a caretaker roll, allowing himself to care for the team, to show that he’s fine. the other part is because he truly cares for their wellbeing. part of his job is to know his targets, to understand them and that translates to his personal relationships too. he’s able to read the people around him easily, to understand and know them. but allowing himself to be known is the real struggle.

but then, there’s rook, who has seen him from the very start. rook who can see the bags under his eyes, who wipes away the blood from his nose after another spite incident, who breaks through the demons control not once but twice.

he can’t let her get too close, what if she sees him for who he really is?

and again here’s rook, who shows him kindness despite his short comings, who calms spite, who shows him she cares, who worries for him. who encourages him and makes him laugh, who strips down his defenses without him realizing.

she shouldn’t be so accepting, he doesn’t deserve it.

rook, who he shares coffee with at midnight, who shares his joy of cooking, who always knows what to say, who has the weight of the world on her shoulders but somehow always knows how to brighten his day. rook who fights by his side, who sticks up for him against his enemies, who checks on him in the quiet moments of the night.

she deserves better than me, what do i have to offer?

rook becomes a soft place to land for the weary restless crow. in time, she is someone lucanis realizes he doesn’t want to be without. she’s saved him in more ways than one, and he finally allows himself to feel what’s been in his heart since he saw her in the ossuary: love.

she’s a breath of fresh air, she’s so close and hasn’t turn away yet.

rook’s kindness and acceptance shines at every corner, breaking down lucanis’ walls and saving him from his own jail of despair and grief. he clings to that light in the uncertainty around them, like a plant to the sun.

it’s why he doesn’t know what to say to her. it’s why he feels as if he needs to apologize because he feels like just another burden on her shoulders. but there she is again with her reassuring smile, with love pouring from her like water. there is never judgement in her eyes and no trace of it in her voice.

it’s new and it’s nerve wracking and jittery as they sit side by side sharing desert, and it’s everything lucanis hoped for and could want.

in time it becomes easier, because it’s rook. he knows with her, he’s understood and cared for and seen and known. it’s the trust they’ve built with each other, it’s the glances shared. he showers rook with love in his own ways: cooking for her, buying her things that made him think of her, always being within an arms reach of her, idle kisses, tender touches. bc he loves her and he doesn’t want to hold back anymore.

especially when it’s just the two of them alone, he’s like a lovesick fool around her, so smiley and just so in love. like like i can see him retrying the wall lean one night but this time it’s extra corny, even more pouty lip action and rook is blushing and laughing and lucanis is so happy and leans down and it’s just the softest kiss and after they’re both smiling.

it’s finally allowing himself to sleep by her side, with spite letting him rest. it’s the fears of being so close and intimate washed away by her touch, the calm he feels from the sound of her heart beating, her soft snores as she holds him close. it’s in the safety he feels near her, never wanting to be parted from her. he knows what awaits them in their fight against the gods, but he is utterly devoted to rook and it is his goal to keep her safe. he has lost so much, he will not let the world take her away from him.

and for the first time in his life, there is optimism in his future. though he has taken on the title and burden of first talon, the weight is eased knowing rook is by his side no matter what comes next, it’s her love that fuels him, and that keeps him sane.

in short, lucanis craves connection and love but never allowed himself the joy of it due to his perception of himself. with rook’s help, he slowly allows himself to have these things, allowing himself to love and be loved. to cling to the good and not have it ripped away from him.

in short short, i love lucanis so much and I love rook so much and i love rookanis and i will never stop shouting it from the rooftops they both deserve so much love and they deserve each other

[cxs-workshops]

Hi. I’m the person who almost attempted suicide, twice. Been nearly a year now, it’s out there, I do not care who knows.

Didn’t want to jump in this but here we fucking go: First to be fucking clear, and which no one, might I add. came to me directly to ask, all the the Logan/anon drama was NOT the reason I did why I did what I did. It didn’t help the situation, but it wasn’t the sole reason. I had so much IRL issues going on at the time, and I realize the petty stuff with the anon hate made it seem like it was the only reason but I barely thought about it while I was doing the thing. I have half the mind to bill a certain party the rest of my medical debt but hey, we’re gonna move on.

I cut myself off from fan servers and from most people in the community due to being anxious all the time, thus being alone since late 2023. If I was talking to anyone, it would be purely about the game or art stuff. Snowy & Goons, how DARE you use my situation to your benefit, and any of the posts I’ve made. You cannot outright accuse someone else of my suicide attempt without any concrete evidence. That’s a damn serious accusation. All we have are petty Tumblr anon messages. And ooo guess what, not every single Logan fan is gathered at Simprock, there are plenty of other individuals within the community, outside of fan servers. Who’s to say that your goons aren’t the ones posing as the anons for them to be framed? Idk but you can’t keep talking out of your ass. My harassment started roughly around 2020/21, I can’t even remember who said what at the time and who’s to say the same people are even around anymore. Should I have collected evidence? Seeing how it all came to this, yeah I definitely should have. I don’t have evidence, but most importantly NEITHER DO YOU. Which applies to many things for you.

Simprock was the last server I had joined. During the brief time I was there, was treated with nothing but kindness and respect. I admit, I do still have a sort of distrust with them, for other reasons, but with this it’s hard not to be on their side( and with apparent evidence) . Actually in fact, it was when Snowy had also joined Simprock, I bolted out of there shortly. I wasn’t there long enough to get to know anyone but I saw your name and my skin immediately crawled. We never talked directly but I first saw you in the bootleg my time server (late 2022-mide2023) the vibes were immediately off. I’m not of fan of Logan either but you were constantly belittling them, not cool. To think you’ve escalated this far…baffling.

Back to using my posts to your benefit, the zine post. How the fuck did you immediately accuse them again when I said I wasn’t joining either zines. Again I couldn’t even guess who the anons were but hey, could be your goons posing again. Just because a person liked it immediately meant it was an attack against you? Dude. Reaching aren’t we.

Some days I take a step back, and think. There were several different ways to have handled my harassment, and I was thinking one of those ways was the one you’re taking Snowy, and I can’t begin to imagine it, not even a little. Why? Because this is fucking insane behavior. I wouldn’t have begun to do something like this good gracious. If I made anyone uncomfortable last year anytime after my attempt or during all the hate anon messages, I genuinely didn’t mean to and I apologize. I appreciate more than anything that the lot of you gathered to help me during and afterwards. I’ll always be thankful.

I’m going to cut myself off here before I get pissed again, but one more thing.

F YOU SNOWY I FN KNEW ITBWAS YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT QUINLAN. I don’t play about my characters and for you to mischaracterize them like this UGH JUST 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Please Leave me Alone

Hi, I’ve been sort of attempting to avoid making a post about this but due to numerous concerned individuals reaching out to me and the amount of receipts that I’ve been given regarding this I have to make one last attempt to address the person who has been doing this to me for the past few months.

I know what you’re doing, and you know it’s dishonest and wrong. This needs to stop. Targeting others and involving them in your personal drama just for interacting with me is unacceptable, and the misinformation and harassment have to end.

I’m giving you the chance to take accountability and tell the truth. If I continue to hear that this behavior is still happening, I’ll have no choice but to address it directly.

I’m not interested in some self-made competition for attention and the drama - I just want to share my love for this game and community together with my friends. Please leave me alone.

For the record: I have never, and will never, send anonymous hate to anyone - especially not over being queer or creating gay art. As a queer minority myself, I stand for marginalized communities and will always support safe, inclusive spaces for everyone.

It’s incredibly unfair to your friends as well, who you have most likely been feeding false versions of the story. It’s also unfair to pull completely uninvolved individuals trying to enjoy their time in this space into this especially when you know that this is untrue- then hide behind alt accounts and your friends, which will unfairly put them in a position where they have been defending someone who has been dishonest to them.

I wanted to believe that you were going through a rough spot and that it led you to doing this in a bad state of mind, but this is becoming excessive and I want you to please use this opportunity to reflect on this because you know what you have been doing is wrong and hurts everyone.

[firefistacesfreckles]

I think it’s peculiar that Shanks “returned” to Mary Geoise; Doffy got denied because once a CD leaves they aren’t considered CDs anymore, even if they were children when it happened. Returning isn’t possible. Also can’t help but focus on the lack of derogatory terms against Shanks himself when Shamrock mentions it, the only negative is calling the outside world filthy. Some translations even put it as Shanks being led astray. What are the chances that even though the Figarland family is very ruthless, they care about their own? Enough to accept them after being tainted or whatever and wield enough influence to pull off what is considered impossible? And that perhaps that sentiment hasn’t changed?

very good point! it seems like shamrock (as of now) doesn't really hate shanks but, rather, he's disappointed in him for choosing what he deems a "filthy world" over mary geoise. i guess it was a hard blow to be reunited with his twin brother after so long, only for him to leave again. can't wait to see more about their dynamic.

also, knowing how much of an asshole garling is and how much he looks down on common people, it's kinda surprising that he (apparently) let shanks off so easily. because, if we go by the theory that shanks returned to mary geoise right after roger's death, garling was definitely strong enough to kill him or, at the very least, not allow him to leave. but he didn't. which means that a) he deems shanks as tainted and unworthy and doesn't give a shit about what he does or doesn't do or b) he lowkey cares about him. maybe he feels guilty about abandoning him/losing him on god valley all those years ago?

honestly, the fact that shanks was even allowed to set foot into the holy land AND THEN be given the chance to claim his title after being a part of the most infamous pirate crew of all time (excluding joy boy's, ofc) is actually insane. meanwhile, and as you mentioned, doffy tried to return when he was a kid and got denied. there must be families among the celestial dragons that are more important than others, and the figarland family most likely is one of those. i mean, i can understand why. every figarland we've been introduced to so far is incredibly powerful (god's knight commander, yonko and gorosei. might be the only family that rivals luffy's in terms of iconic members lmao).

what is clear is that shanks appears to still have some privileges, despite renouncing his birthright as a celestial dragon. dude literally pulled up to marineford and stopped a war, and then was allowed to hold a funeral for both whitebeard and ace with literally no opposition from the world government.

i'm ranting now, but i'm just so excited that we are finally getting some shanks lore lol i'll stop now, or else this is gonna be longer than needed, but tysm for the ask, anon! i love talking about this man

[livvyofthelake]

life going so nothingly my biggest dream right now is to rewatch a movie i like. you cannot fathom how much i want to be able to do that. alas!

[kavehayati]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[chibishortdeath]

Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!

And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!

[ssruis]

Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.

[butteryunlikelylady]

definitely on my I hate men bs tonight bc why are y’all like that.

[harukaluvr]

guys I cant

[jamandjazz]

Hmmm something’s telling me I’m not right in the head

[void-tiger]

…wHY do y’all feel the need to mention where someone’s at when they’re not around! Sure I have a crush on that idiot but I’m never going to admit to it, and actively avoid bringing them up myself ‘cause it’d feel like a freudian slip and it’s not my business anyway.

How often do I even come up in y’all’s home conversation. Is it out of pity? Or is this idiot just as insufferable as I am to my friends who are WELL AWAY from this and therefore Safe to repeatedly try spring-cleaning my demiromantic acengst with.

Are y’all pressuring them about me, too, or has that FINALLY, finally eased off.

(And what value can I possibly have, anyway. I’m unemployed and just shy of a shutin from severe anxiety/moderate depression and cptsd, adhd, and a smorgasbord of muscular-skeletal issues that just keep creeping up and staying and moving the goalpost to even TRY getting a job. The idiot has other friends when they have time to spend on them. All I am is stubborn enough to stick around and wait if I’m not actively being chased off IF the other party seems to really want that connection.)

[adore-gregor]

my football team is so hopeless

[catboywizard]

whelp.

[seilon]

just wrote like three paragraphs ranting about my living situation and deleted it just know I am going insane and i hate it here and I need to live by my fucking self or I am going to absolutely fucking lose it

[j-esbian]

it’s all good to say everyone should have public holidays off, but what about when you want to go to the movies on that holiday because now you don’t have to work? what if it’s presidents’ day and you need groceries? what if you need medical attention but it’s flag day? what if you need childcare, for any reason, on mlk day?

essential workers are some of the most overworked among us and deserve relief as much as anyone else but it’s just not enforceable for everyone to get every holiday off