#but apparently i can’t even get that anymore
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Cherry bomb Part 2: a Caitvi Hate fuck fanfic
Vi's POV.
Summary: Caitlyn goes to rescue fight-club-always-fucked-up Violet (s2, episode 5) from the bar. Instead, she finds herself led back to her apartment. They realize they have nothing to lose. It gets slutty. Part 2/?? How do you love a woman and fuck her like you don’t?
Part one: Cait's POV
Caitlyn rolls her eyes, a giggle spilling forward that turns into a grunt when Vi unceremoniously shoves both fingers deep inside of her. Caitlyn aches with need, and she wraps her arms around Violet’s broad back, her shoulders hunching forward as she tries to get as close to Vi as possible. She squeezes her cunt against Violet’s fingers and it’s Vi’s turn to cuss. Push and pull; Caitlyn ruts her hips forward and Vi digs her black-painted fingers into Cailtyn’s hot, pallid hip, squeezing the flesh and holding her in place. Vi shifts tactics, turning her fingers over inside of Caitlyn – and making her laugh with the shock of it – and rubbing that spongey, wet patch right inside of her aching cunt. Caitlyn’s head falls forward, her breath coming hot and heavy in Vi’s ear.
“You sound incredible,” Vi says. “I could listen to you for..”
Forever, Caitlyn hears.
Vi must realize, because she drops to her knees, her fingers sliding out of Caitlyn with a wet sound so simultaneously sexy and disgusting that Caityn flushes from her cheeks all the way down the tops of her tits.
Vi drops her cheek to Caitlyn’s thigh, staring straight at her cunt as she asks,
“Are you ready for more?”
Vi is biting down hard on her own lip as she stares into the deepest part of Caitlyn, and it’s not just because her cunt is this perfect layered blossom of delicious purples and cherry pinks and blood-reds. It’s because of that, obviously, this is Cait we’re talking about, her Cait, but not her Cait anymore, and fuck she’s still kind of drunk but fuck if she isn’t locked in and fuck did she really almost say FOREVER TO THIS FANCY MOTHERFUCKER.
Vi still hasn’t kissed Cait on the mouth. They both know it. Her come is a sticky web all over Vi’s fingers, but her mouth is in the clear. Something about it feels too intimate, which is stupid since they’ve kissed, oh, a zillion times? But Vi is still so angry and she doesn’t want to give apparently-not-Ghost-Cait everything she wants. She wants to keep something for herself.
She wants to give Cait something to want after this is over.
When Cait ruined them… when she left Vi, she broke something irreparable. Vi can’t think about it. She can’t think about any of it. So she crashes out. She goes out on nights like this. She drinks something shitty and probably killing her and she doesn’t kill herself but she doesn’t not kill herself either. She scrapes away at herself bit by bit. Yeah, it’s probably like self harm, okay? Vi isn’t dumb. She knows what she’s doing to herself. She just doesn’t know how to exist in a world where this ridiculously tall woman with a dumb-beautiful face and even better heart (yeah, she hears it, gag her) isn’t hers. She doesn’t know how to get through the next day or week or month without Cait's happy-horny giggle pouring down her wet throat. She doesn’t know where to find warmth without this person that is clearly her person but who doesn’t want her.
But, right now, she does. Cait wants Vi. Vi doesn’t even have to ask. For once, she doesn’t have to wonder. She’s stared enough pussies in the face to know that this one – dripping, throbbing, practically inhaling and exhaling right in her mouth – wants her.
So does the woman attached to it.
“Vi,” Cait whines.
“What?” Vi plays with her. She matches the energy of her words with her movements and drags one finger, just her pointer finger, not the one Cait likes the most – that bitch likes her thumb, weirdo, and Vi loves her for it – across her entrance.
Cait throws her head back and moans. It’s all dark hair spilling down her back, too short to reach the table beneath her. Her narrow shoulders round and she arches. Cait’s cunt even has the nerve to shudder. Bottles jingle behind her and she swears the fire gets brighter.
Vi smiles. She might not always get along with its owner, but Cait’s pussy lives for her.
Her and her alone.
Yeah, Vi’s been fucking a lot of women, okay? But none of them are Cait. None of them quiver like this. None of them whisper that low, guttural “fuck” quite like Cait does, her fancy ass accent going strong as she aches for her. Vi likes women. She likes to make them come. She likes to let them ride her face until their thighs are quaking and bruised. She likes to let them suck her strap until their jaws are sore and their eyes are glowing with (happy, she’s not a monster) tears. She likes the way they look when they fall undone. Even the prissiest girl becomes a mess in the right situation.
Vi likes to find said situation.
But, fuck if Vi doesn’t like to undo this girl the best of them all.
Her finger still teases at Cait’s entrance, rubbing less than an inch, back and forth, a gentle prod that doesn’t at all give Cait what she’s shivering for. Vi looks up and Cait’s eyes are locked on hers.
“You have the prettiest pussy in the city,” Vi says without meaning to.
Cait’s eyes go wide and she groans Vi’s name. “Please,” she whines. “Please.”
Vi’s face flushes. She didn’t want Cait to know how badly she wants her. Fuck. She thinks quickly, and spits right in the face of that pretty pussy.
It might be the alcohol still burning through her veins, but Vi is pretty sure Cait’s cunt opens up wide and swallows.
“Stop fucking with me,” Cait demands, but the force of her words are undermined by the gentle undercurrent in her tone of voice.
Baby blue eyes on soft gray. Memories flooding both. Touches and kisses and brushes of skin against skin. Love, most of all, love, new love that felt so… impossibly forever. That word again. Fuck.
How do you love a woman and fuck her like you don’t?
Vi ducks her head and shoves her tongue against Cait’s clit to shut her mind off. Cait’s thighs immediately lock on Vi’s ears, and she feels more than hears the moans run down Cait’s throat, tearing through her chest and making their way down her lanky frame to meet Vi’s eardrums. Vi gives in just a bit, and moans right into Cait’s clit. She digs her short, blackened nails into Cait’s bare hips and tries to hurt the flesh there. Her own knees ache. She’s probably on those dumbass letters she kept writing to Cait because, well, she is a desperate idiot in love with a woman that she was allegedly never going to see again? But not desperate enough to mail them. Or maybe too busy fighting strangers and making them bleed and pounding shots with hotter strangers to make it to a mailbox and ruin her own life.
She hardens her tongue and begins to lick, slow and targeted, from the base of Cait’s clit above her opening to just under the head. She coaxes it forward, whispering tipsy nonsense about how pretty and lovely and sexy it is, inviting it to grow bolder, to stretch beyond its hood. She can be sweet to it because it’s not Cait, not really. This is between her and this clit, Cait be damned. And there it is, glistening and ready for her.
Vi wraps her lips around Cait’s newly visible clit and rolls her tongue over it, around it, beating it up until she knows Cait’s going to be bruised and maybe even in a little pain. Vi can feel her mouth filling with salt and wet and she drowns in it. She kneads Cait’s fleshy hips to hold her in place and keep her thrusting from ruining her and the clit’s moment. She rubs her face all over Cait, all too eagerly becoming a mess of black ink and bar sweat and Cait's precious come.
Vi'll admit it: she's pleased. She slides her face down Cait’s thigh and lays her cheek upon it, pausing until Cait looks down.
And, fuck. Cait. That face. Her high cheekbones are painted with her flush. Her pouty, girlish mouth hangs open. A flurry of curses escape from it. Her hair is trashed, sweat gluing blue baby hairs to her heart-shaped forehead.
I love you, Vi thinks. She turns and sinks her teeth into the soft belly of Cait’s inner thigh, and Cait screams out in a mixture of pain and pleasure and, even more pleased, Vi returns to Cait’s cunt. She wants to eat her. Sadly, she is neither cannibal nor vampire. But she wants a new angle.
She pivots, lifting Cait off of the table. Cait immediately wraps her legs around her, and, FUCK, they’re kissing, when did they start kissing? How did this happen? Who moved first? How did her tongue get in Cait’s mouth?
And, fuck, has Cait always tasted this good? Her sweet saliva guided into Vi’s mouth via her pink tongue, the way it blends into something that could probably just kill Vi right on the spot as it mixes with Cait’s own come in Vi’s mouth, the push and pull of lips on lips, the way they’re both grunting like they’ve lost their damn minds, Cait crawling inside of Vi with sharp nails and needy hips that buck and grind and do not apologize.
Cait’s tongue swirls along Vi’s top lip and Vi gives up on her original plans. Fuck it. She wants everything Cait has to give. Vi gives as good as she gets and lowers swiftly, letting her body hit the ground hard and hurting her own back – ever the gentleman, she thinks to herself, and then has to try to not laugh at her own quip – before she spins and shoves Cait onto the messy floor. She wants more mess.
“Take your fucking clothes off,” Vi barks.
#caitvi#cait#vi#cait x vi#arcane#arcane fanfiction#arcane fic#vi x caitlyn#caitlyn x vi#caitvi fic#vi arcane#violet arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn/violet#caitlyn arcane#violet x caitlyn#violet x cait#piltover's finest#piltover's gayest#bottom cait
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life going so nothingly my biggest dream right now is to rewatch a movie i like. you cannot fathom how much i want to be able to do that. alas!
#even if i somehow mustered up the time and strength to put one on i still would just go on my phone during it#which would literally make me feel worse of course#does not help that in also 2 episodes behind on fire country and the winter finale in tomorrow. so i’m about to be 3 episodes behind#and it’s even harder to watch that than it is to watch a movie#because now i know i have to deal with the supernatural guy and his unnaturally deep voice in my show#and i don’t want that. i want gabriela to be treated with respect as a character but i always knew that was a pipe dream#so i dialed it back to at least wanting bode to be interesting without jake being given the worst storylines known to man#but apparently i can’t even get that anymore#cara JUST died and you want me to believe he’d hook up with his ex who is also his best friend’s situationship#do we respect my man jake at all. real question
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Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭
#not saying she’s not allowed to feel sad at all#just makes me think about myself LOL#I hate being aroace it’s like everyone’s part of a secret club I will never be a part of#and that people don’t tend to understand and if they do they never uphold that fact#like I actually have thrown up before from the concept of being in a relationship because it’s horrifying#and disgusting to me in a practical sense#like I don’t want to throw up every time I start thinking about those things I just want to be normal#and not panic like a relationship sounds like even worse than a death sentence#ppl think aroace is cute and problem free but it’s literally so uncomfortable and inconvenient when you’re in a world which a) doesn’t#understand wth aroace is b) doesn’t respect it at all c) has shit povs on what friendship is and how it can be more fulfilling than somethin#and d) how badly it impacts some ;-; like ik it sounds easy but try telling yourself omg I want to have a forever bestie#but then said forever bestie will never end up truly putting you first because they’d have a partner who will be their number one#and as usual you won’t even be second place you will be last like always#because I’ve noticed that the moment ppl get a partner suddenly they become their forever bestie role and then I can’t have that cause it#freaks me out and disgusts me all at once so I’m literally just cursed with forever feeling lonely and not meaning anywhere near as much to#someone who you wish could even look your way the way you do to them …#honestly by the day these reminders make me feel more and more aplatonic but it’ll simultaneously always feel like a hole in my heart#because apparently being aroace is like being some weird person and some freak#and not in the 𝒻𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀𝓎 type of connotation LMAO I mean just plain freak#and then that loneliness will always accumulate and accumulate and accumulate until I physically cannot handle it anymore or I take matters#into my own hands and just off with her head to myself LMAO#dora daily#and that is why despite aroace being cool to me it’s just not placed in an environement which makes it cool#as those assholes tend to say oh meh meh meh you never struggled girl … we’re in the 21st century every person in the lgbt community is#living the life dating who they want and being with who they want#but allegedly it is but a crime I can’t like anyone and that nobody fucking listens to me when I say I have an attraction deficit#and that they take it upon their hands to define what I’m attracted to or head canon me as whatever they are#I swear I’m not even fucking worth that shit just leave me alone 😭#I promise like if I was with somebody they will regret the day they were born by being with me LOL I am not all that in fact me being aroace#is saving them from torture ☠️ anyways ! rant over :3
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.
#I’m resuming this tomorrow it’s been hours now I’m just mad#I’m home because my parents are moving to a different state and I needed to pack whatever was left#and for some reason we just keep old devices when we’re done with them#so I borrow an adapter to allow me to connect my ancient unworking iPad mini to my laptop#factory reset it. i have to reset an old email to access the old Apple id to fully reset it.#it won’t connect to the wifi so I have to reset the settings. i find out it’s too old to run pjsk.#i find an old phone that should work. i reset it as well. I’m able to download pjsk & it takes 20 minutes.#pjsk crashes everytime I try to open it. i attempt to run bluestacks on my computer. bluestacks doesn’t have 64 bit for mac yet.#i get a free trial of parallels and download windows onto my laptop. this takes 40 minutes.#i try to download and run bluestacks on that. m1 macs apparently can’t run bluestacks 64 bit through parallels.#i go find the final old phone that I had forgotten about. it takes forever to charge because the charging port is fucked up. i reset it as#well. it can’t connect to wifi. i try a hotspot on my current phone. service is too awful. i try to do wifi sharing from my laptop.#you have to be connected to the router via a cable for that to work.#at this point it has been like 3 hours. I’m giving up because I’ve been down this route before#when I attempted to run 32 bit steam games on m1 mac#(wine64 doesn’t exist for m1 macs yet -> attempt to run boot camp -> boot camp isn’t a thing anymore on Apple silicon -> attempt to run#several different programs that allow me to run windows on a mac. none of them work. ->#look into linux & give up. -> attempt to implement the unfinished/unbottled wine64 code thru terminal. ->#fuck up and delete some important file & have to fix that (misery inducing) -> keep trying. i think I downloaded a Mac coding program at#some point? i realize I have zero coding knowledge and this is a mistake. -> give up and purchase crossover. game doesn’t even work. ->#3 months later update to the latest OS so I can have enough storage to play psychonauts 2. find out the $60 crossover#purchase was a bad idea because ‘heehee crossover doesn’t work on that buy the new version’ (fuck crossover).#my toxic trait is my belief that I can figure out anything via google and sheer stubbornness. usually this is true. occasionally there are#exceptions to this rule. most of them are because owning Apple products is a mistake.#i think if I reset the router tomorrow I can solve this problem but I can also just go elsewhere with better service or wait until I’m home#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.#<- this is all normal behavior by the way. who doesn’t spend 8 hours ramming their head against a problem every once and a while. enrichment#mine#oh I forgot. i also looked into cloning the app but that would cost money for something that might not even work.#‘just log out and make an alt’ and risk losing my account? I’m stupid enough to overwrite it on accident.
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guys I cant
#apparently im dating Ethan#but he fucking confessed to me on call so i would’ve felt awkward if i said no#and the thing is i do like him#like i rlly do but he never texts me#hes sweet yk but when i text him half of the time he just ignores it#and when we’re on call he doesn’t even talk half of the time#he claims i make him happy but like words and actions don’t line up#and im really trying bro#i want to try but its already happened with Luis and Aiden and i cant anymore#they took fucking everything from me#i was genuinely like depressed after luis and aiden#but aiden is such a great person so i don’t understand why he just gave up#me and aiden were literally soulmates and it’s not even in a romantic way atp#we bonded so well together we never had an awkward stage or nothing#the first time i met him we were on call for an hr and it would’ve been longer if i didn’t have to go#i feel so drained and awful all the time#i dont understand#and life isn’t even bad i just can’t do this#and i have no reason why#everythings overwhelming and stresses me out#school makes me cry#i don’t feel comfortable when im home#i wanna go back to wv#guys i miss my grandpa#i haven’t seen him in over a year because my aunt ‘cant handle’ going back to West Virginia#I get why but she don’t even have to go#she said she would send me and my sister on a plane by ourselves but then she just switched up and said no#everything is so exhausting#i can’t anymore
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Hmmm something’s telling me I’m not right in the head
#it’s my dad#apparently he wanted to get me checked out when I was a kid cause I was too happy#as in I never ever ever expressed negative emotions#I got tired of that and shut it off#and now i can’t express joy normally#is this neurodivergence or trauma?#both?#i don’t even know anymore#I’ve been told my ‘happy expression’ looks like this 🙂#apparently that’s what I look like when I’m overjoyed#so me looking like 😐 is my regular happy face#me personally I feel like I’m going like ☺️ but apparently not#my face doesn’t move that way ig#I feel like my voice is really high and expressive#but I’ve been told REPEATEDLY it’s very flat#I’ve been told I sound like a rude bitch many times 😔#I don’t MEAN to
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…wHY do y’all feel the need to mention where someone’s at when they’re not around! Sure I have a crush on that idiot but I’m never going to admit to it, and actively avoid bringing them up myself ‘cause it’d feel like a freudian slip and it’s not my business anyway.
How often do I even come up in y’all’s home conversation. Is it out of pity? Or is this idiot just as insufferable as I am to my friends who are WELL AWAY from this and therefore Safe to repeatedly try spring-cleaning my demiromantic acengst with.
Are y’all pressuring them about me, too, or has that FINALLY, finally eased off.
(And what value can I possibly have, anyway. I’m unemployed and just shy of a shutin from severe anxiety/moderate depression and cptsd, adhd, and a smorgasbord of muscular-skeletal issues that just keep creeping up and staying and moving the goalpost to even TRY getting a job. The idiot has other friends when they have time to spend on them. All I am is stubborn enough to stick around and wait if I’m not actively being chased off IF the other party seems to really want that connection.)
#tiger’s roar#i am pathetic#and it’s hard to feel Good about being moved out#when I CAN’T work/keep a job. and how many credits I have to take to keep my scholarship makes trying to get a part time job Impossible Too#I’m doing this on student debt#and my parents won’t just Stop calling me spoiled apparently out of envy#that they’re able to spot my deposits and rent for the 2 months before reimbursement#and cover getting things like cooking utensils and used furniture and cleaning supplies#even though 2/3rds of what I have I either bought/kept myself OR are things they don’t want anymore#if anything. it should be a victory that they CAN provide this for me#where their parents’ couldn’t or wouldn’t#sure I got to move out whereas they immediately married ‘cause a kid was in the oven and the judgement that came with that#but they also weren’t chronically ill to the point of disability#and the chances of me marrying? almost zero. because I’m asexual and kiss repulsed and demiromantic#…sure I’m pretty sure my crush likes me back. and despite what happened last year their family really seems to like me#but even if they felt they did have the time and energy to just. ask me out? or hang out like we both seem to want?#I don’t think I’d ever accept that I wouldn’t just. drag them down with my stupid health#and even WORSE: make them feel sensually neglected ‘cause I can’t even think about kissing without basically gaslighting myself.#…friends can be supportive and physically intimate with hugs and whatnot#but me as a girlfriend? HA. I can’t give someone ‘enough’ without making myself feel utterly awful#and yeah. there’s a grief with that.#I’ll…try to let it be someone else’s Choice. not make someone else’s decisions for them#…but.
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my football team is so hopeless
#not dortmund lol i mean the club i play at myself#it makes me want to quit ngl#there are just so many things i'm fed up with#at times it's not fun anymore#i like playing football but there's just a lot wrong with this team#but i'm mostly just hanging around because i don't want to let my coach down like he cares and genuinly seems like a good coach#the only thing which gives me a bit of hope#and i hate letting people down 😅 that and also i hate giving up#but i have never seen a team more hopeless or felt more hopeless playing a sport 😅#and he apparently thinks i'm kind of important to the team which i kind of get but also it doesn't really make a difference...#we're just so hopeless i can’t turn this around lol#i always start and i hope it continues but there's not much i can do#we just have too many people who don't care last match so many have given up#some of our team just refuse to run or move at some point it's awful#like why can't you try#we always loose so high like what's the point but still don't give up#besides that the endurance (and also sprint speed) of most is awful which could be trained to a point#but whenever the coach tries to do that almost no one shows up 💀#and i usually play wing or outside midfielder but i'm supposed to also be a defender apparently what#whenever we get a goal on my side and i'm not back in defence someone moans at me like that's my fault#i get working back but i can’t be everywhere especially when some people don't move#and i actually try to get the ball foreward or try to get the ball back in the front because i don't give up when we're behind#i want to score goals and not settle with loosing and only sit back to do defence anymore#naturally there will be open spaces when i try to do that but how is giving up better even when it's hopeless we could still try scoring#and i can't be everywhere they should try my position they would never last 90min running like i do#besides i'm already exausted each week from my training before like i do sports 2-3 hours 6 or 7 days a week#unfortunately i have to because once again i'm trying some entrance exam (for sports to become a teach in sports and english hopefully)#asides from that i don't like most of the people at my club 😅 it feels a bit like highschool again and i didn't like highschool#so many are ignorant and judgemental#like the girl i told you about with her comment about the cleaning lady instead of wanting to clean up her stuff herself 🙄
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whelp.
#i was gonna try to skip out on the shabbat service this week#bc they’re zionists and it’s really been fucking with me#cause like i was so excited to join the community and stuff#i’ve already put in so much work the last few months#only to be confronted with the fact that these people that i’ve been getting to know and be friends with#all believe in something so morally wrong#and i feel like i can’t say anything or be shunned by this community i thought i was becoming a part of#but do i even want to become a part of that community anymore?#uggggghhhhhh#anyway that’s just something i’ve been really struggling with lately#i really don’t wanna hear whatever zionist shit i know they’re gonna say at the service#so i was gonna pretend im sick and stay home#but now apparently they moved it to zoom this week#so i don’t really have any excuse i can give to my mom#and i really don’t wanna have to explain to her the real reason i don’t wanna participate#due to complicated reasons#*sigh*#op#random thoughts
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just wrote like three paragraphs ranting about my living situation and deleted it just know I am going insane and i hate it here and I need to live by my fucking self or I am going to absolutely fucking lose it
#I can not stand cleaning up shit for people anymore I can’t stand people taking my stuff or messing up shit I clean or organize or whatever#I hate feeling pressured to stay in my room constantly because she almost never fucking leaves and the entire living room/kitchen area is#apparently her fucking home office now. so there’s just nowhere else to go where I’m not forced to interact with her#not to mention how I cleaned out that entire area EXTENSIVELY only a couple months ago and now all of that work is just gone#she re-cluttered it and now it’s a nightmare again :)#and she’s out there in the first place because she clutters her room and desk in her room to such an extent that it’s basically unusable#at least when I had a shitty roommate her mess was confined to one side of a bedroom more or less#and there was a living room/kitchen that wasn’t a fucking nightmare that I could generally control the tidiness of#I can’t fucking live like this I can’t keep cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and throwing away shit and organizing shit and whatever#just to have it all be for NOTHING every fucking time because she takes more shit out and doesnt put it away and buys more shit#that we can’t fucking afford and don’t immediately need and hahaggsgsgshsshshhhshshshshssh#I can’t fucking do it! I really can’t keep doing this it makes me violently angry and one of these days I’m going to snap and break my door#or something#I didn’t even want to move back in here to begin with this was supposed to be temporary. as in only for a couple months#but all my job applications fail and I have no other form of income or support so. haha I’m stuck here#i won’t even get started on just#not wanting to live with her for a million other reasons#I need to get the fuck out of here I do not want to be responsible for cleaning up her messes and doing whatever she says without choice#cause I mean. that’s another thing. At least my roommate couldn’t force me to do whatever she wanted with any resistance being seen as#criminally disrespectful and depending on her wildly unpredictable mood maybe she’ll verbally abuse me or degrade me or accuse me of things#who knows!#also won’t get into the fact that I’m almost two years on t and she still misgenders me and deadnames me and believes she has the right to#do so#kibumblabs#negative#delete later probably.
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feels fine to ignore me and my bffs broken relationship until my mom brings it up and I can’t ignore how it makes me feel 😑
#so then it kept me up all night getting into fake arguments in my head#she was like are you going to tell her happy bday ans I’m like well yeah why wouldn’t I#then I told her when we last texted it was about the game coming out#and I should be excited to play it but I’m just anxious about it cause well I need to include her#right cause we played the 1st one.. but god I don’t have it in me to be anything other than polite with her#I hate this btw this has ruined my life lol#and we can’t even talk about it cause she’s the most closed off person in the world#ans she’s like im trying to be better 😑 well then actually TRY#basically our relationship didn’t matter enough to either of us apparently#I mean I don’t see her the same way anymore I have lots of resentment from other tangential situations over the last 4 5 years idk#I don’t think it’s ever going to go back to the way it was
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it’s all good to say everyone should have public holidays off, but what about when you want to go to the movies on that holiday because now you don’t have to work? what if it’s presidents’ day and you need groceries? what if you need medical attention but it’s flag day? what if you need childcare, for any reason, on mlk day?
essential workers are some of the most overworked among us and deserve relief as much as anyone else but it’s just not enforceable for everyone to get every holiday off
#when my mom worked at a hospital they would trade off holidays. you work thanksgiving and then it’s someone else’s turn to work christmas#genuine question because i see this a lot and i have yet to see someone include it in their proposal#what is the proposal that keeps essential service workers in mind#and you can’t just say ‘we’ll make an exception for them’ bc think about like. little caesar’s mascot guy was apparently ‘essential’#it doesn’t even need to be dire. that’s why i mentioned like. movies and retail yknow#like no judgement but be honest. you would still do things on your day off that require work!!#this past labor day i had off. went to my friends house and they ordered pizza. someone else DIDNT have that day off#and that is FINE like we live in a society but that also means that we depend on each other more than you realize yknow#feels like this kind of talk only focuses on office jobs and ppl who work in healthcare/retail/education/etc are not thought of#when they’re already experiencing labor shortages because so many people are burning out which in turn puts more strain on those who are led#left*#i’m not an expert. i have no idea how to address this. but its exclusion from the conversation feels GLARINGLY obvious#also $25/hr for only 24 hrs/week is the same as $15/hr for a 40 hr week#still not liveable anymore. although with a shorter work week i would actually have the time to get a second job#i’m just. tired of people rallying behind the 4-day workweek when they are very clearly coming from a salaried and/or nonessential job#of course WE can spare the time off. i work in manufacturing now and if i don’t get something done before the weekend it can wait#but who exactly is going to staff the hospital when it is already understaffed and you’re cutting everyone’s hours down#to clarify: i’m not saying ‘the four day workweek is untenable because it won’t work for everyone’#i’m saying ‘we need to talk about how to actually make it work for everyone’
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I’m going insane I actually can’t believe them !!!!
#dora daily#she always sides with my sister#why ? Bc I raised my voice at that spoiled brat to tell her to keep her name out of my mouth AND SHE TELLS ME TO SHUSH ONE HUNDRED TIMES#like a girl eight years younger telling me to shush ? are you freaking kidding me b#and then I raised my voice at her a little more mind you I wasn’t screaming#and I told her she’s so stupid because she can see I’m so distressed and upset yet she’s the victim#SHES THE VICTIM bnbdnskwosksa#she’s always the victim#I’m always the villain with them#I hate her#I hate herrrrrrrrr#she always gets away with everything I always have to suck up to that spoiled brat eight years my junior and be nice to her and all that#it’s not fair why must I cater to her cruelty#and she is cruel even tho she’s so much younger than me#she’s so cruel and rude and mean and she actually hits me really hard and I just have to sit there and take it#and everything’s always my fault#my mum started siding with me briefly acting like the two sides thing for like a year#then she’s back to how she was before#like this girl gets away with things because apparently she’s a baby she’s almost TWELVE#I can’t do this anymore#I never could’ve ever gotten away with these things even if I wanted to#like I’m so numb to her to all of them when they say those things I just accept the fact that it’ll always be like this#but logically speaking it’s NOT FAIR#my mum can say I’m her favourite all she wants but she’s a liar and she doesn’t even know it herself#or she does and she’s lying#oh why am I even complaining at this point#why haven’t I given up already on her on both of them#my sister is scary because she gets everything#if only my mum aborted her too along with the other two#please I’d have such a better life with so much less trauma
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satoru is the kind of husband who’s often absent. between missions, meetings, jujutsu high, and let’s not forget his clan, he spends his time running around instead of spending time with you — his wife.
it’s a routine. though sometimes, not seeing him can get really frustrating (not to mention the number of tears you’ve shed because of his absence). he’s well aware of it. poor guy feels guilty every second he’s away from you.
one evening, after spending the whole time of it crying over his absence, curled up like a caterpillar in the soft, cottony white duvet, you finally found sleep. a deep sleep, to be precise.
but apparently not deep enough, because in the middle of the night, the moonlight filtering through the windows wakes you up. you quickly realize something heavy is resting on your body. a warm, steady breath brushes against the skin of your neck, sending shivers across your whole body.
you squirm slightly under your husband, who’s lying on top of you as if you were his mattress. “satoru, get off me…”
“hmmm,” he hums, pouting and furrowing his brows. instead of freeing you, he shifts lazily on top of you, trapping you further in his arms. and you’re still wrapped in your duvet, too.
“satoru, i can’t move anymore.” but that doesn’t seem to matter. he clings to you like a koala to a tree. you sigh.
“i missed you.” he plants a soft kiss on your cheek, instantly melting your heart. “i love you.” he chuckles softly, eyes still closed, because he knows you don’t really hold it against him. “i’ll make it up to you tomorrow.” a promise he kept, to your delight.
#[azra masterlist]#satoru gojo#satoru gojo fanfiction#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#satoru x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fanfiction#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo fluff#gojo fanfiction#[dividers by me]
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had nightmares all night and now i’m just laying on my couch wanting to tear my skin off
#taylor.txt#i can’t even sleep in my bed because my ex was in my room and it makes me anxious being in there#i had to get rid of my old bed because i just couldn’t sleep in it anymore because of her#apparently that want enough#every time i’m in there i try to sleep and just panic that im gonna wake up and she’ll be there doing it again
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