#so me looking like 😐 is my regular happy face

[jamandjazz]

Hmmm something’s telling me I’m not right in the head

[hijinxinprogress]

I need the jl to discover that Captain Marvel is a menace

Billy gets arrested as Captain Marvel and he’s just a smug menace the whole time despite being on comms with the league “Of course, I understand the seriousness of this situation! I will absolutely comply, I completely understand that you need the code…the code is 1-3-1-2. Also, I want my lawyer 😇” which gets leaked to the press both audio and visual which leads to the jl claiming that CM had been impersonated and their only evidence is the stupid ass grin on his face

The jl was investigating the misuse of a magical artifact and discovered that a group of police officers had joined a cult. Before they had the chance to gather the evidence proving those officers guilty but they’d already sealed away the artifact so Marvel suggested getting himself arrested to incriminate them and he was a little too happy about it

Let’s be honest, Billy only gets caught by the police bc he can commit to a bit and he’s pretending to be an ancient magic immortal so why would he run from a regular civilian human?? But on the inside Billy is dry heaving and sobbing bc he knows that the police could never catch him on his worst day even if he was personally broadcasting his location

Speaking of broadcasting isn’t Billy a fucking radio host?? I know he’s a fucking asshole during commercial breaks “This next commercial reminds me of a recent encounter with officer smith who got lost three blocks from his station” and it cuts to a fucking toilet paper commercial (people swear they heard him mutter ‘bc you’re absolute shit at your job’)

Sometimes people will call in to debate his views on the police and he’ll have a three hour philosophical debate but actual cops will call in to argue with him and Billy’s making your mom jokes and playing air horn noises or 2016 vines like a fucking child 

Billy probably gets caught when he graduates high school bc his yearbook quote is like marvels most well known quote “Captain Marvel coast city precinct, interrogation room 5 (Oct 14 XXXX) 3:37-4:31” billy added too much information and it gets flagged by the watchtowers security system so the jl has a meeting about the breach in security and Marvel’s like ‘yeaaahh, that was me mb’ and batman is making disapproving noises bc ‘this is serious, Marvel! high school graduate, William-’ he can’t finish bc Marvel’s gagging dramatically ‘Billy. It’s Billy ohmygod’

batman, on the verge of a breakdown: who is this kid?? Why does he know the time, date, and location of an undercover league operation??

Marvel, avoiding eye contact with Cyborg who helped picked out his outfit for the yearbook photo currently being projected: ahaha about that…

Cyborg, who distinctly remembers telling Billy not to do anything fucking stupid: 😐

(Vic has framed the picture of the ‘oh shit’ look on Billy’s face when superman lunges across the table damn near in hysterics)

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Various, online chatter; that’s enough internet for today

For the prompt: How hot is Jared? Twitter's best explainers

Forgive me any formatting sins -- I aimed for clarity over authenticity, but who knows if tumblr will oblige on that front.

“How’s the internet doing?” Dave asks.

“Well,” Andreas says. “It’s — technically good news, but in a way you probably don’t want to hear the details of?”

“That sounds ominous,” Dave says.

“Do you know what shipping means?” Andreas asks. “Not the—“

“You know, you’re right,” Dave says, literally backing into his office. “I don’t want to know.”

“I didn’t think so,” Andreas says, saluting Dave with his coffee, then goes to check out what’s happening on twitter. He thinks he’s had more than enough of AO3 for the foreseeable future.

~

On Twitter:

I’ve decided to block everyone who says something shitty about Bryce Marcus or Jared Matheson in the next while and I think my hockey twitter experience is going to greatly improve as a result

This is absolute genius I’m doing it

WAIT JARED MATHESON IS CANUCKS DILF’S SON?

HOLY SHIT JARED MATHESON IS CANUCKS DILF’S SON

OH MY GOD THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

Damn now we know he’s going to stay beautiful.

So does Bryce clearly. Lock that upppp.

HOW COME THERE ISN’T A WHOLE JARED MATHESON FANDOM.

Nevermind fam just found out there is in fact a fandom and they are losing their dang MINDS right now.

~

A selection of tweets liked by Bryce Marcus’ lurking account:

Look if I landed Jared Matheson I too would tattoo his signature on my chest.

I would tattoo his PICTURE.

How is it that Bryce Marcus is a multi-millionaire who routinely is in the top twenty in scoring and clearly takes care of his appearance and dresses better than 95% of hockey players, and yet I’m still like ‘nice work landing that husband, bro’.

You know that if Marcus and Matheson could reproduce they would have the most beautiful children 

Sweet mitts too

Every single picture or video I’ve managed to find of Bryce Marcus and Jared Matheson in the same place Jared is like 😐 and Bryce is like 😍  how did we just figure this out now

I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST REALLY HAPPY TO BE IN VANCOUVER 😭

~

“Babe,” Jared says. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Bryce says. “I’m not doing anything. Go back to sleep.”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Jared groans, slinging an arm over Bryce’s hip as he buries his face in Bryce’s good shoulder. Bryce’s hand comes up to absently pet his hair, and Jared falls back asleep that way, Bryce’s fingers carding through his hair as he scrolls through god knows what with his other hand.

~

On AO3:

Tags: Bryce Marcus Matheson/Jared Marcus Matheson/Julius Halla, I was really tempted to put Julius Halla Matheson but I think that’s enough chaos for right now, this is how I’m coping as a Hallason shipper, with OT3s, and threesomes, au just in that erin matheson doesn’t exist, sry erin it’s not personal

Tags: Bryce Marcus/Jared Matheson, no plot just vibes, soft shit, I literally just got here but, Bryce Marcus is a bottom you cowards,

Archive Warnings: Underage

Tags: Bryce Marcus/Jared Matheson, Rafael Sanchez, Just like the regular level of underage jared was when he met bryce nothing sketchy, or sketchier than reality lol, meet cute, my hc of how they met,

~

“If this is about Jared I’m hanging up on you,” Stephen says as he picks up his phone.

“You knew, didn’t you!” Beth says.

Stephen hangs up the phone, and puts it back on the table, face down.

It, of course, immediately vibrates. Gabe looks at it, then at Stephen.

“Don’t give me that look,” Stephen says.

Gabe continues to blink mildly as it goes to voicemail, then starts to vibrate again.

“You talk to her then,” Stephen says.

“Hi Beth,” Gabe says. “How are you? Yes, I did know who my linemate was married to. No, I didn’t think to tell you. Well, because I’m not sure how it’s relevant to you, Elisabeth.”

Stephen smirks at Gabe as his face grows continually wearier. His fault for not just hanging up — it may be mercenary, but it means Stephen doesn’t have to listen to whatever Beth’s telling Gabe.

“Let me give you Stephen,” Gabe says.

Sometimes Stephen forgets that Gabe has spent a little too much time around him for his own good.

‘Fuck you’, Stephen mouths, but Gabe just smiles and continues to hold his phone out.

~

On tumblr:

The Bryce Marcus/Jared Matheson tag has doubled in the last 36 hours. You guys okay?

Can’t sleep gotta write fic.

I think I speak for all of us when I say, from the bottom of my heart: no.

But like in a good way!

Where my Julius/Jared shippers at? How y’all doing?

Well we found out Jared Matheson is actually gay and married to a man literally from the lips of Julius Halla…in the context of telling us he’s married to a completely different dude and also now I’m legitimately worried about their friendship since he just outed his bestie so idk you tell me.

This.

Do we change it to ‘Jared Marcus Matheson/Bryce Marcus Matheson’ or Jared Matheson/Bryce Marcus’ or is it chaos or —

The AO3 tag wranglers have been by and they’ll all redirect to ‘Jared Matheson’ and ‘Bryce Marcus’ so don’t worry.

But why isn’t it redirecting to ‘Marcus Matheson’?

Show us the papers and we’ll do it. Legal name change documentation please.

You have all been shoving these definition of Average Dude hockey players in my face all ‘look at this beautiful man’ and none of you showed me Jared Matheson, Actually Beautiful Man? What is the MATTER with you people.

You have been in the wrong corner of hockey fandom trust me. his beauty was Known

east coast bias even in hockey rpf smh

Want some fic recs?      OBVIOUSLY.

Hey remember a few years back when we all made fun of Bryce Marcus for not knowing his own initials judging by that JBM necklace? Wikipedia says Jared’s middle name is Bradley

JARED’S MIDDLE NAME IS BRADLEY!!!!!!!

I would like to submit a formal apology to Bryce Marcus who a) can spell b) is the most romantic man alive and c) has clearly been TRYING to get caught this whole time.

[vitrines]

okay i give in to the foundationposting for a little bit sorry regulars

spoilers for season 2 episode 9 and some of my thoughts on what's going to happen next (psst it's mostly half baked opinions and rambling)

-literally zero way EVERYONE on terminus is dead. zero way. it's not possible. this isn't even me being delusioned there are just about ten things that don't line up. i will get into this later in the post but first

-i am so so happy that they went into demerzel's past. she is such an intriguing character to me and honestly i was wary to participate in this fandom because of how many people seemed to like. genuinely like her and cleon together. no hate to anyone but it's really not my thing like REALLY not my thing and i kind of cheered when she went all "well i tried to fix you by sleeping with you but well um you're just kind of weird. goodbye 😐" i CHEERED. girl. girl get it.

-and she is lich rally trapped into being with the cleons. i loved the scene when she was with the priestess lady a few episodes ago that was such an insight into her mind and this episode felt like that it was wonderful i was HOOKED i was like oh my god.

-also by the way this paints that scene with sareth in an entire new light. sareth asks "will you serve me" and demerzel GRITS THROUGH HER TEETH that She Serves Empire and maybe she was not trying to threaten her. maybe she was sending a message. saying "hey girl so i literally cannot do anything else. i am telling you i am bound to this man because i has no choice and YOU are going to bind yourself to this man as well."

-same with telling sareth that demerzel killed her family. demerzel didn't need to tell her. demerzel in fact probably should NOT have told her. day didn't want sareth to find out that he ordered it. but demerzel is telling her: if he tells me to kill i must. demerzel has no reason to threaten sareth she's not jealous she is just SICK and tired of loving this man out of compulsion and doing what he says. (this is a bit of the delusions sorry i just really don't like demerzel Actually loving empire and being jealous out of her own free will. so i am grasping at straws.)

-also demerzel is going to go back and like rip dusk and rue's faces off. she is going to Get them. like oh my god. i am becoming a demerzel apologist but i love rue i kind of hope she doesn't die

-okay on to the fate of terminus yeah first of all she is NOT dead. she simply isn't. zero percent chance all those guys are dead. my first evidence for this is the bite mark thing on hober's arm cause like. he says "oh the spacers probably marked me for later and that's how you tracked us down" but bel does not confirm this. he was the one who asked what the thing was on the arm. i don't think that's how the fleet found hober and constant which means it's something else which is very inch resting

-soooo. the invictus gets hit. and destroyed. and then it gets lined up and shot into terminus. and not once do we see a scene from that ship after it starts to explode. pounds the desk if you don't see the BODY it's not DEAD!!!! glawen (how do you spell his name) here is our prime example. man was not dead when his ship went down. and neither is terminus. last shot of the invictus is just the commander guy and that one girl looking at each other and like someone's hand loosens or something. there are like hundreds of people on that ship it was stashed and yet we see none of them???? no explosions???

-hober still has one of the teleport bracelet things... that is Going to be relevant. even though he said it's broken or something they wouldn't show it if not important

-they can't kill poly man :( he's not dead. he is chilling. trust me he told me himself /lying

-all in all just like. yes this is the Killing Main Characters show but i really struggle with believing that terminus is gone. i think the spacers are still relevant and i think we DIDN'T see the body and i think i still cried over bel and glawen anyways. they are so "she's been dead since the beginning" to me like they ARE doomed but damn if i didn't get attached anyways

-as always day you are so. huh. to me. like okay man yeah sure i think my lesbianism is shading me from what most of you all see in him (said politely) like have fun but i need him kind of gone sorry

-hari seldon my best friend back and axe murderer!! girl so true!! he has things wrong with him and it's so intriguing. he's so me

-love you salvor never change. consider lesbianism though. seriously. i miss phara every day they HAD something

-i missed sareth actually i kind of love her she's so spottingly sincere. i hope they don't murder her horrifically

[je-tts]

What is your top 5 ways to relax when time is stressful?

I'm going to make this 6 because I'm weird and don't like things ending in odd numbers 😅

1. Lying in bed, with my music blasting and doing nothing for hours, just processing, thinking, reflecting and looking for patterns in my wall or looking at the lights on my ceiling. Sometimes I will include reading in this, I can easily finish 150k-200k words in a day if I'm seeking that feeling it gives.

2. Walking- it's not uncommon for me to disappear into the bush for a few hours with my dog, music and water. If my body isn't vibrating and tingling, I didn't walk enough. Bonus points to me if my muscles are achy the next day.

3. Spending time with my horse, we either go for a casual walk around the property, play at liberty or I lay in the grass while he eats and I stare at his cute little face.

4. Talking to my small group of favourite people, but usually not in person as that can be too overwhelming if I'm really stressed. I love texting, and occasionally calling. And sending photos, I love exchanging photos and videos, always makes me so happy and helps me de-stress. But if I can tolerate being in person, hugs from certain people just push all the stress out of my body, even if it's only temporary.

5. Playing Skyrim, or another game of choice, usually Skyrim. This can be swapped with sewing, guitar, jigsaws, binge watching TV/movies or colouring. Depending on my interests at the time, I change a lot.

6. Driving, (if petrol isn't too expensive) I just hit the roads and drive. But only roads with minimal people or it makes my stress worse, I have low tolerance for idiot drivers on the best of days 😐 I have certain areas I drive to because I know traffic isn't a regular thing there.

I am (usually) a huge sensory seeker when stressed, it seems slightly counter-productive but overexertion of the mind and/or body is always so helpful and relaxing. My days will be crammed full of activities to make sure I'm meeting those needs. But I include a few mindfulness things as well, like admiring my adorable pony and staring at the ceiling processing thoughts. This was quite fun to answer, made me really think about what I do to de-stress and it's kind of relatable to right now as I'm juggling a new job which can be stressful at times, and other little things going on right now. I think I'm due for a walk but it's 10.14pm, so maybe tomorrow or over the weekend.