#and even WORSE: make them feel sensually neglected ‘cause I can’t even think about kissing without basically gaslighting myself.
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void-tiger · 6 months ago
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…wHY do y’all feel the need to mention where someone’s at when they’re not around! Sure I have a crush on that idiot but I’m never going to admit to it, and actively avoid bringing them up myself ‘cause it’d feel like a freudian slip and it’s not my business anyway.
How often do I even come up in y’all’s home conversation. Is it out of pity? Or is this idiot just as insufferable as I am to my friends who are WELL AWAY from this and therefore Safe to repeatedly try spring-cleaning my demiromantic acengst with.
Are y’all pressuring them about me, too, or has that FINALLY, finally eased off.
(And what value can I possibly have, anyway. I’m unemployed and just shy of a shutin from severe anxiety/moderate depression and cptsd, adhd, and a smorgasbord of muscular-skeletal issues that just keep creeping up and staying and moving the goalpost to even TRY getting a job. The idiot has other friends when they have time to spend on them. All I am is stubborn enough to stick around and wait if I’m not actively being chased off IF the other party seems to really want that connection.)
#tiger’s roar#i am pathetic#and it’s hard to feel Good about being moved out#when I CAN’T work/keep a job. and how many credits I have to take to keep my scholarship makes trying to get a part time job Impossible Too#I’m doing this on student debt#and my parents won’t just Stop calling me spoiled apparently out of envy#that they’re able to spot my deposits and rent for the 2 months before reimbursement#and cover getting things like cooking utensils and used furniture and cleaning supplies#even though 2/3rds of what I have I either bought/kept myself OR are things they don’t want anymore#if anything. it should be a victory that they CAN provide this for me#where their parents’ couldn’t or wouldn’t#sure I got to move out whereas they immediately married ‘cause a kid was in the oven and the judgement that came with that#but they also weren’t chronically ill to the point of disability#and the chances of me marrying? almost zero. because I’m asexual and kiss repulsed and demiromantic#…sure I’m pretty sure my crush likes me back. and despite what happened last year their family really seems to like me#but even if they felt they did have the time and energy to just. ask me out? or hang out like we both seem to want?#I don’t think I’d ever accept that I wouldn’t just. drag them down with my stupid health#and even WORSE: make them feel sensually neglected ‘cause I can’t even think about kissing without basically gaslighting myself.#…friends can be supportive and physically intimate with hugs and whatnot#but me as a girlfriend? HA. I can’t give someone ‘enough’ without making myself feel utterly awful#and yeah. there’s a grief with that.#I’ll…try to let it be someone else’s Choice. not make someone else’s decisions for them#…but.
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angeli-marco-writes · 4 years ago
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Elizbeth Debicki - Reunion Revenge
A/N - I love Elizabeth with everything I am, I'm sure I've said this before. I don't know why there aren't more fics about her. As always, I do not know Elizabeth, nor do I claim to: this is a work of fiction and wholly my own. I mean no disrespect to any of the careers mentioned at some point in this, just bear with. This is a set at a high school reunion, but I went to a private secondary school in England, so my experience is obviously not everyone else's. Reader has a twin brother, have fun with that. I also based this on a Tumblr post I saw, and thought that would be a swell concept to work into a Liz piece of writing: ‘never understood the whole showing up at your high school reunion revenge fantasy cause, like, really? high school?? I don’t want anyone from that time in my life to have any idea where I am or what I’m doing. do not perceive me I am dead to you and you are dead to me.' 8k.
Warnings - a little angsty, mentions of bullying, smoking, mentions of homophobia and slurs, wlw explicit smut, fingering, sex toys (strap-on), bathroom wall sex in a semi-public place, the whole shebang (literally). 18+
Summary - At first, when your brother roped you into attending your high school reunion with your wife, you hated the idea. Now, all eyes are on you, all the focus on your career, and maybe this is the revenge you always needed, of course aided by Liz's quick thinking and hidden surprises.
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AT THIS CURRENT POINT IN TIME, you would more than happily murder your brother for roping you into this. And for convincing Liz to come along, which is somehow worse than your own enforced attendance, as though your presence will make any difference to the people who made the seven ‘best’ years of your life a pure living hell.
Your brother did have your back through it all, and considering that he was supposed to be the best one to succeed, he needs you there for some moral support after his career took an unfortunate nosedive that everyone is undoubtedly going to be gawking over.
You never understood the whole ‘showing up at your secondary school reunion revenge fantasy,’ but that’s mostly just because they don’t deserve to know who you are anymore. They broke you continually, and you’re past it now: the only thing that could take you back to that mindset is being back in that great hall with the gossiping busybodies. It’s not your fault that you were a closeted gay for so many years. Well, that’s another cause of concern. Notorious homophobes, and you’re bringing your wife.
“Come on, honey, we have to go inside.” Liz tells you, her long fingers curling around yours affectionately.
She has a point. You’ve been in the car park for ten minutes now, your knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. Her continual lavishes of kisses to your neck seem to be the only redeeming factor of your procrastination.
“Hmm, kiss me first.” you say.
She doesn’t disappoint, curling your hair behind your ear—wearing special diamond earrings she got you on your second anniversary—and catches your chin tenderly between her polished forefinger and thumb, tilting your face up to meet hers, her lips slanting over yours, melding together perfectly.
She’s the only good thing about this situation, about any situation: the only reason your brother was able to bribe you to come. Your main qualm about today is that you don’t want anyone from that period of your life to have any idea where you are or what you’re doing. You’ve been dead to them for years, and they to you. You don’t want them to perceive you whatsoever. But maybe, with Elizabeth on your arm and a brilliant career under your belt—everything you ever wanted—you can reap revenge. No one is in touch with you, so your arrival will be such a surprise, not that you exactly care about that, having blocked out and repressed a whole lot of that time period. You wouldn’t be able to even do this without Elizabeth, though.
“Liz,” you moan when she nibbles on your lower lip in that signature way she does. “We can stay here, we don’t have to go in.”
You shift your hand over the centre console to rub over her clothed thigh, your grip more than a little suggestive, prying further up…
“No baby,” she coos, “later, I promise. We’ll be late.”
You grumble, but only momentarily. She has a point, and a thing about being on time to everything. So you load out of the car, Liz coming around to the drivers side where she offers you her hand. She’s more chivalrous than any guy you ever pretended to date, an absolute gem of a person. You don’t even get jittery on the short walk inside, not with her thumb caressing your hand, your legs brushing together.
You can’t say you’re surprised when, at first, no one even turns to look at you, though relief floods your system, Liz bending down to kiss your forehead in a conciliatory manner.
“Oh my God, y/n, I’ve been here twenty minutes! Why didn’t you pick up?”
“I was busy,” you say to your overzealous brother who is suddenly hounding you, attaching to your side.
He bristles, visibly shaking off his discomfort, before he’s linking his arm through yours and is tugging you along, out from beneath the wooden balcony, tugging you away from the shadows.
The hall is the exact same as it was both when you came and left the school, oak panelling everywhere, great glass windows stretching to the ceiling with sills too high for anyone to climb onto, a stained glass shrine above the stage. Put-me-up tables are littered around, sheathed with white cloths and ribbons with your school emblem on them, decorated with drink dispensers, mugs, wine glasses and cheap biscuits. The whole… scene brings back that awful sense of dread you got when forced to sit here, in tacky red woollen chairs, frayed and bobbled, that itched your legs, every Monday and Friday for assembly. It’s a beautiful room, truly, with a reinforced floor beneath the original boards, slightly splintering beneath your low heels, and you know every nook and cranny, every escape route, but the bad memories tarnish the space.
Liz, darling as she is, senses your discomfort, and creates small talk with your brother as you’re steered between groups of people you scarcely recognise until you reach the apex of the room, where his old friends stand, hunched over in ill-fitting suits, brooding over their brandy, no doubt complaining about their dead end jobs and lack of girlfriends.
“Hey buddy…” one of them says, trailing off once he hears a woman's voice, his eyes darting up—first to Elizabeth, then down to you. “Your sister and your girlfriend? Dude, she’s hot.”
“Isn’t she just?” Liz teases, a malicious smirk creeping onto her lips.
You haven’t even noticed, but some subconscious part of you has tucked your joined hands behind you, covered by Liz’s long, flowing dress.
“How you doing, wait, I know, don’t tell me…”
“y/n.” you snap. “Fine, thanks.”
“Well that’s good, good, isn’t it? I was just gonna call you mini y/l/n—”
“Don’t, that isn’t my name anymore.”
His eyes dart down to your left hand not held by Elizabeth’s slender fingers, instantly noting the glistening silver princess-cut ring nestled above a platinum wedding band.
“Married? Nice. No wonder the guy didn’t come,” another one chimes. You’re not entirely sure what he means, though it’s undoubtedly a dig at the fact Elizabeth is far hotter than you are.
Your brother is slowly growing angrier and angrier, the cords of thick muscle in his shoulders tensing, his nostrils flaring, his thinned eyes conversing with Elizabeth’s blues over the top of your ducked head.
“Yes, well,” you play along, and desperately look to your brother to continue the conversation.
“What are you all doing for work now?”
Everyone gives a boring answer: salesman, accountant, finishing up law school, working in an office, with one trainee chef in the mix. These men have all just done what the school or their parents expected and wanted them to do, no one has any ambition. No wonder you were always the odd one out.
“What about you?” the chef asks your brother.
“Oh, I’m on a sabbatical at the moment,” he replies sheepishly, eyes suddenly training on the floor before turning quickly, fixing on you. “My sister’s done really well for herself.”
Their surprise is palpable, seeping off them, dripping onto the floor via the loose threads of their cheap blazers.
“Yeah, I’m a translator for political and legal proceedings, you know, with cabinet ministers from all over the world, those who speak the languages I do, at least.” you answer pridefully. Your talents always were overlooked when you were at school, apart from by one special teacher, whom you haven’t actually seen yet.
“She’s marvellous, really,” Liz says, and you can’t help but feel a hint of guilt from neglecting her for so long, so you squeeze her hand a little tighter, and rub your thumb over her wedding ring. “I’m gonna get us some drinks, babe. What do you want?”
“Red wine would be lovely. Unless you want me to drive home?”
She pecks your lips, “Of course not, enjoy yourself. You want anything, mate?” she turns to your brother.
“I’m good, thanks.” He mock-salutes.
“Don’t be long,” you warn her, swinging your hands out from their cover with a sudden flush of courage, and detaching them.
She looks down at you curiously, but her smile quirks into a smirk the second you pinch her hip and lean up on your tiptoes, capturing her pretty pink lips with yours, swallowing the small surprised gasp that escapes her. You can feel eyes on you all over the room, the situation genuinely feeling as though everyone besides your brother is staring upon you with disgust as her lithe arms wrap around your body, her one hand straying lower than you were prepared for, arching into her chest as she nibbles your lip again, your one hand cupping her flushing cheek.
A moment later, she’s releasing her hold and strutting away, all eyes then glued to the sensual sway of her hips, her long legs carrying her across the room faster than they thought possible. Then again, being 6-foot-3 as a beautiful woman is quite the surprise to people, they all expect her to be garish, uncoordinated, and though she’s clumsy at times, she’s certainly better at general levels of human functionality than you are.
“Dude, stop staring at my wife’s ass.” you hiss to the first man. If only they were worth your bother or time, you might have remembered their dreary names.
He splutters for a moment, bringing a ring-less left hand up to loosen his lilac tie. “Wife? What the fuck? How are you married to a woman before we are!”
What a mystery.
“You gay or something?” the trainee lawyer chimes in again.
“You got a problem with that?” your brother accuses, puffing up his chest pompously.
“Well, no… just surprised.”
“Astonished.” another pipes up.
“Isn’t that a big word.”
You showed the tell tale signs of being a lesbian for years, the popular girls all pretended you were preying on them in the changing room, calling you a d*ke for years until you reached the point of just changing in the bathroom to stop yourself from snapping at them. They must’ve always had a hunch, and why ever they thought Liz was your brother's girlfriend is beyond you. Men truly are more trouble than they’re worth.
“Yes, I’m gay. Yes, Elizabeth is my wife. I didn’t realise this would be earth shattering information.” You cast your eyes up to the ceiling, erected like a great old Church steeple, and shutter them for a moment, gathering your bearings. “I’m going to find Liz, little man. Told you I shouldn't have come.”
“Don’t call me little man!”
“I’m ten minutes older than you, I’ll call you what I like.” you tease, sticking your tongue out childishly, receiving a sarcastic sneer from your brother. Right now, all you want is Liz. “I wish I could say it was nice to see you all again, but then we’d all be liars. Goodbye.”
They gawk in a greatly uncouth and infantile manner as you stride away, pep in your step as you approach your stunning wife, wrapping your arm around her stomach as she waits for her tea—English Breakfast, naturally—to cool down.
“Hey beautiful,” you greet.
“Hey, you. What happened?” she asks, instantly noting the sallow bags that have swiftly formed beneath your eyes.
“They were being arseholes, c’mon, let’s just stand in the corner until it’s socially acceptable to leave this hellhole.”
“We can go now if you’re uncomfortable, baby.”
Ever the forward, sympathetically thinking wife.
“No, no. I came here, I’d better make it worth my while.”
She tangles her fingers with yours, “Okay darling. Say the word, we leave.”
There aren’t words for how safe you feel thanks to Elizabeth, even just with this fractional amount of contact from her. She’s the answer to all your prayers and more, the thing in life you'll never deserve. Her love for you is endless, her affections infinite, and every day, you fall more and more in love with her, especially when she’s as kind as she is now.
It barely takes five minutes, the two of you hugging, kissing, leaning against a broad oak pillar, half shadowed, for someone to approach. One of the girls you despised, costume jewellery on her wrists, a self aggrandised smirk painted onto her fake lips. Martha? Mabel? Maddie?
“I heard you were here,” she starts, placing her tackily manicured hand onto her hip, “it’s so good to see you! How are you?”
“Great, thanks.” you say blandly, keeping your attention on Elizabeth’s hand entwined with yours.
“This is your… friend? Why did you bring a friend to this?”
She laughs mirthlessly, such a fake sound—like this cow's boobs—it makes your primal instincts flare. Elizabeth holds you impossibly closer, her arm around your waist tightening as you seek solace in her.
“y/n and I are married, thank you. I don’t appreciate the homophobic, disrespectful insinuations.”
She stifles another laugh, “You’re punching above your weight a bit aren’t you, y/n.”
“Don’t rise to it,” Liz headily murmurs in your ear, sending pleasant, calming vibrations throughout your whole body.
You gulp down as much air as you can, curling tighter into Liz, before saying what you thought all those years ago, “I’d rather be ‘punching’ and married to a woman I love rather than be a Goddamn trophy wife going nowhere, leeching off daddy’s money. People like you will never change. I’m happy, and I have a good feeling that’s more than the likes of you and your sad old minions can say.”
“Sweetheart, come on.” Liz whispers, and her hold on you increases until it begins to pinch, not that you mind, and then she’s thankfully tugging you away.
You barely make it out the door, Liz leaning down to kiss you heartily, passionately, before people are clamouring over you, what’s-her-faces friends, people you used to be in fair acquaintance with, all speaking together, their voices overlapping in what you can only believe to be expressions of acceptance.
“Um, thank you, I’ll just be back in a moment.” you say to those who bother to listen. Next thing, you’re darting out the way you came, tugging Liz down the great stone steps in front of the behemoth building, and then are leaning against the old wall, almost crumbling with rubble on the exterior at least, not as well preserved as the inside.
She joins you not a moment later, ferreting around the pockets in her skirt for the spare cigarette and lighter she slipped in earlier. Liz doesn’t condone your smoking in any way whatsoever, and in fact she’s the main reason that you quit, but she knows that when your anxiety is high during times like these, one can’t hurt. She always comes prepared.
She is definitely the most consistent, reliable thing in your life by a long shot. Naturally, you two have your fair share of ups and downs, and on the occasion you get your periods at the same time, you’re a complete dichotomy of furious fights and condoling cuddles, while the rest of the time you find yourselves in sheer throes of passion. You may be a dependable couple bound to stay together forever, but that doesn’t mean that the flame of lust once born there has even momentarily flickered: it’s why you work so well. Men are awful in bed, from both of your experiences. Only a woman truly knows how to please another woman. And in the many ways that Liz is a home-body and sticks to the safe side of things, sex is not one of those areas, and you frequently wind up in another one of her barmy—though blissfully pleasurable—experiments. Her daring never goes amiss, and you can’t help but pray that she has something up her sleeve (besides the cigarette) to dull the ache of the day, and also the growing desire pooling between your legs upon seeing have such a naturally demanding power, and looking so Goddamn stunning in her maxi dress. And the lip nibble, God—
“Before you ask, I’m not shagging you out here.” she says, lighting your cigarette with steady hands.
You inhale the smoke, allowing it to form dark halos around your head once you puff it out through pursed lips, hoping it obscures your sheepish smile and averted eyes from Liz’s view.
“I wasn't thinking about that.”
“Yes you were. You forget how well I know you.”
You shoot her a sardonic smile and take another deep drag, the bitter taste pouring into your senses, filling your lungs, calming your mind before you let it go with one long, shaky breath. The smoke has a way of revealing the air, making an artistry of its swirls and flow, something you’ve always been able to appreciate. Ever the wise one, Liz just sees the poison it’s creating within your body, and will do anything to make you stop.
The sick, intrusive thought that you might be disappointing her by this simple act alone rises a cough to your throat with the next puff, but in reality she looks so nonchalant, her eyes closed, a simple smile playing on her perfect lips as she revels in the moment, in your presence, her pinky finger looped just over yours against the crumbling brick wall. Nonetheless, the uneasiness is enough for you to stub the cigarette out under your shoe before it’s even half-way smoked.
“Baby, you okay?” she asks sympathetically, turning to face you so that her shoulder is pressed to the wall, her spare arm flying around to brush against your upper arm, thumb caressing the flesh there through your clothes.
“Yeah, course. Can we stay out here a bit, though?”
You expect her to wholeheartedly agree, because you could tell by the subtle sensing of her limber body and the sudden snap attitude she had that she was just as uncomfortable in there as you were, perhaps more so. Her reflexes may as well be yours with how used you are to them. That’s exactly how you know that she’s going to refuse your request by the almost imperceptible crest of her nails into your supple skin.
“Your brother texted, he asked you to come back in: people won’t stop badgering him about you.” She pauses, but upon hearing you huff, hurriedly leaps back in. “I mean of course we don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, this is about you, not your brother…”
But it is about your brother. You agreed to come here today to be of help to him. And besides, Elizabeth has almost as much loyalty to your brother as she does to you, the two of them having been friends before he introduced you to her. That certainly didn’t have the outcome he was expecting, but you’ve all remained close nonetheless. Mentally, you give yourself a shakedown. How could you be so selfish? Today isn’t about you, not really. Sure you’d like to make peace with your past and your old tormentors one last time before leaving and never seeing them again, but the main reason is support.
“No, you’re right,” you say after a long moment of lamentation.
“That’s a first,” Liz snorts.
You smack her playfully, “Watch it, you.”
“Hey, who’s the pillow princess around here?”
Your cheeks instantly flush. “That was one time.”
“More like five,” she umms and ahhs, but grasps your hand a little tighter regardless.
It’s a fair comment on her part: Liz does wield the majority of the power in the relationship, and is definitely more of a top that you are, but you ensure that you pleasure her just as much as she does you, it’s only fair. Apart from those few times you decided to try something new… you got tired of that pretty quickly, though, since you couldn’t go too long without tasting her while you were in bed. No matter how many times you’ve had sex, no matter how many mind-blowing orgasms you receive, your desire for her is never quite quelled. Frankly, you hope it never is.
“Stop thinking about fucking me, babe,” she scolds, and pulls you up fully standing from your temporary reprieve against the wall. “Later, I promise. Not here.”
Embarrassment heats your cheeks at the fact she so easily deciphers your filthy thoughts, but then again, she always has. She leads you back inside, and all but hands you over to your brother, practically jumping with impatience at the door to the hall.
“Thank God you’re b—” he cuts himself off, moving closer to you, imperiously sniffing your clothes. “Did you smoke again?” You nod. “Fucking hell, well, there’s another conversation topic, we’ll talk about this later. Can you believe this lot didn’t know you were gay? What morons…”
“Hey, I’m not that obviously gay, am I?”
The dead silence that envelops you gives you the answer you weren’t too keen on receiving in the first place.
“But!” Liz helpfully adds in her most cheery tone. “If you hadn’t been so obviously gay, I probably never would’ve asked you out.”
She beams even as you roll our eyes, “So endearing, babe.”
“Hurry up, this lot are arseholes.”
“I know.” you deadpan. He sends you a snarky smile.
Following him through the small clans of people meandering and congregating amongst themselves, all with some sort of beverage in their hands, you feel your hand grow clammy in Liz’s. Your mind doesn’t get the chance to run away with itself or whirr on for too long, though, before you’re pulled into a group of people—all three of you—and are all welcomed with enthused hugs and professions of well wishes.
“Oh how are you? You look so well, I hope you’ve been doing good!”
Well, you think, if they cared enough they’d have contacted you. Half of them are your brothers Facebook friends and he’s often posting pictures of you hanging out, or childhood throwbacks, and tagging you in them in plain view. Thankfully, your page is private, and Elizabeth doesn’t even have social media. She’s smart.
You engage in conversation—well, they do, you just listen and hum when you’re supposed to, making surprised faces at the right parts—about one classmate who couldn’t be here because she married a mobster and isn’t allowed to discuss her lifestyle. She isn't. She got pregnant straight out of school and is going through her second divorce: your brother saw her recently. Who are you to deny them gossip when you really couldn’t care less?
In minutes they seem to have exhausted all possible fascinating subject matters, or at least make it appear that way as they turn all eyes on you.
“So, y/n, we hear you have a girlfriend!”
Not again.
“Wife; this is Liz.”
“How are you.” she says, more by way of greeting than having any regard for them.
“Oh my God,” one woman clamours, “are you Australian? My boyfriend is Australian! Maybe you know him?”
Liz’s face breaks into a wide smile, the first one of the event. Who cares that it’s at the expense of another person's intelligence, or lack thereof? You and your brother struggle to stifle your own laughter as you loll your head against his broad shoulder, too.
“Australia is more than seven and a half million square kilometres. In context, the UK is only two-forty-two thousand. We have a population of 25 million. I’d be more likely to meet the queen and the president.” she quips. Ever the fount of useless knowledge; as are you both.
“Oh,” says the woman, casting a sheepish gaze away.
“But, um, yeah, I am Australian.”
“You’re tall,” another blatantly observes, “you look Dutch.”
“Polish-Irish. Not far off.” she says again, fixing a smile of nonchalance.
People turn to you for something to say. You have nothing: nothing to say to these awful sycophants, so you’re half relieved and half angered further when your name is called from somewhere behind you.
“y/n y/l/n!”
Great, another bellend. Star of the football team. You settle yourself after a sudden wave of dizziness from spinning on your heel to see just who was calling you, and you’re not particularly surprised, but not glad either, when he’s excited to join the dull circle.
“Actually,” you correct, “it’s y/n Debicki.”
Silence cools around the circle. What, have these people been living under rocks for the past God knows how many years?
“Oh, why?” he asks.
“I got married and took my wife’s name.” you grit out just barely, balancing from foot to foot, the wooden floor creaking around you. Some more wine would be really good right about now, but instead you just settle for an intoxicating peck from Liz’s lips, the chiffon of her skirt shifting again to reveal your held hands and glistening wedding rings.
“Oh!”
The silence is agony. Why can’t the ground just swallow you up already? Your brother's getting angry, his fist clenching, picking at his nails, while everyone else in the group is exchanging anxious eye contact. Liz and her insanely long legs could probably give you a leg-up to one of the immensely tall windows as a quicker, though slightly more problematic escape route…
“By the way, that’s totally fine.”
“Yeah,” someone adds, you can’t be bothered to look who. “We totally accept it.”
“It’s like you’re not even gay, but straight, and normal. N—not that being gay isn’t normal, just that we don’t see you any differently.”
“You’re the same y/n you always were.” one smiles at last.
Your brother is going to lose it in three… two… one…
“Oh yeah? The y/n that you all relentlessly picked on and victimised for years? The same y/n who was forced to hide her identity and everything she wanted to be for years just because you back-thinking bastards didn’t want a lesbian in the class?” he shouts, flailing his arms madly about, hissing one of the broad, tree trunk pillars in the process. He doesn’t flinch. Turning to you, he starts in a softer voice, “I never should’ve asked you to come here, I’m so sorry y/n, I was so selfish to bring you back to this hellhole. It’s no wonder you didn’t want to come with these dipshits tossing around! And Liz, you don’t deserve this either. Please, do us all a favour, and take y/n home, never bringing her back here. You were right all these years, sweet, it’s the place nightmares are born. And you scummy lot should all be ashamed of yourselves!”
His breath is ragged once he’s done with his rant, his forehead glistening with sweat, his knuckles white with tension.
“Liz, could you get him some water, please?” you whisper into her ear.
She nods affirmatively, and breaks from your grasp, steering your hunched, tense, seething brother in the direction of the drinks table.
“Thanks, I guess,” you begin, kicking your heels into the splintering oak floor, your wine long forgotten, “like, for the acceptance and stuff. But I’ve always been this way, he’s right. It’s not some earth shattering revelation, I was just too shy to come out because you all tossed slurs around like it was okay.” You take a deep breath, and in that time, Liz has returned and stuck herself to your side, your brother happily alone in the corner with a cold glass of water as you cast a glance over your shoulder. You comb your fingers through Elizabeth’s coiffed blonde hair to relieve some anxiety, and are further reassured when she presses her lips to your earlobe, glistening with the diamonds she gifted you. “Besides, this shouldn’t be a thing you have to zealously profess to accept, it should be just as normal as one of you walking in with your heterosexual partner.” As some of them have done, and no one’s batted an eyelid.
A din of agreement sounds out from them, but you know they’re all more than a little meek after being scolded like schoolchildren by your big scary brother. He’s a teddy bear, really, but when he flips, he flips.
When you arise no cohesive response from anyone, you rest your head on Liz’s shoulder, and ask, “Did you see that article on the BBC yesterday morning?”
You have no idea what article you’re on about, but one leaps in with something about climate change, and one about a rise in violent crime in the area. Thank God you don’t live there anymore.
“I forgot about that one!” you gasp with feigned surprise.
Liz looks down on you warmly, chuckling at the mischievous glint in your eye. She knows exactly what you’re up to. But after today, you can walk away from this place, despite the stunning old architecture of the gorgeous building, the beautiful panelling on the walls and the window you spent so many hours gazing at while daydreaming wistfully through assemblies and exams, never to return. Frankly, after this shit show, you’d have it no other way. The teachers will be arriving soon, and in the hopes you see your favourite old teacher, Mrs Alleman, you decide it can’t hurt just to stick around a little bit longer, even if you don’t listen to anyone's conversation. It’s not like they want to involve you.
*
Before you know it, ten dreary minutes have passed, and as each second slips by, you’re losing the will to live. Even these people are bored to death by the sound of their own voices, unsurprisingly. You’ve just busied yourself the whole time by playing with Liz’s long, slender fingers and her glistening silver ring. She’s becoming more and more antsy, though, so you’re unsurprised when she moves to stand away, speaking only when there’s a brief intermission of silence.
“I’m heading to the loo, honey. Which way is it?” she asks politely.
“Out the door we came, but on the other side of the corridor is a closed door, down that corridor it’s the fourth on the right, up a couple of stairs.”
Her eyes widen, “This place is a maze.”
“I know,” you chuckle, and lean up to peck her lips. “They’re the staff ones, down a cohorted route in a forbidden corridor so we wouldn’t use them.”
“You,” she shakes her head, bending down to kiss you again from her standing position, though she does practically double down, and has to press a hand to her chest to prevent her dress from falling, “are so randomly knowledgeable.” It’s really more of an awkward stowed away memory, but you take it anyway. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
As she draws away, she catches your lip in her teeth. Again. If it wouldn’t arouse suspicion, you’d be after her like a bullet, but, well… So you just sit there, counting the minutes, the seconds until she returns and you’re able to make a quick exit, barely making an agreeable sound or two when someone deigns to involve you in the deathly boring conversation they’re having about the FTSE or something, but she doesn’t return. It’s only after five minutes—you meticulously checked your watch—that you realise she’s probably gotten lost, your heart fluttering into your throat.
“I think Liz is lost, I’m gonna go find her,” you say, not that anyone exactly notes your absence or offers you as much as a nod, so you stand and stroll away, not caring about your knocked over glass as you stalk out of the great hall, breaking into a slight jog as soon as the doors are closed behind you.
You could swear you catch your brother winking across the room as they close, but you can’t be sure, not with how crazy you are after Liz did that thing she does every single time she instigates sex. You’ve been together for more than four marvellous years, and yet it still brings fire into your veins, butterflies into your stomach, and lust into your mind.
She’s not in the foyer, or down the ostentatious portrait corridor, so you burst into the pristine white and purple bathroom, only to find Liz leant against the wall, a slight bulge in her dress.
“God, I was wondering if you’d ever get the message, I’ve been waiting for ages.” she huffs, slamming her mouth onto yours impatiently.
You gasp, winding your arms around her neck, not complaining in the slightest when you hear the door lock and you’re lifted high against the wall. Your hand flies down on instinct, and you’re not disappointed when your hand wraps around something long, hard and thick.
The squeak of surprise that leaves your lips only spurs Liz on more. “You wore the strap.”
“I went and fetched it from the car, thought we could have some fun, make this worth your while.”
“I love you so much.” you breathe, no time for courtesy.
Crashing your lips down onto hers, you lick filthily into her mouth, your tongue skimming her teeth, but your control barely lasts a moment before she’s overpowering you, nipping at your lip as she busies herself otherwise with gaining access to your throbbing, drenched core.
“Liz…” you moan. When she skims her fingers over the lace edge of your panties.
“So wet already baby,” she taunts, her breath hot on your ear, “have I done all this? Such a dirty girl…”
Her voice holds a gravelly quality, down to lust you’d wager. Her accent becomes so much more pronounced during times of passion, too. Her voice alone sends another wave of wetness gushing through you, soaking Liz’s fingertips as she slides them under your panties and into your folds.
“Oh poor helpless baby,” she croons, biting down on your neck harshly. “I don’t even need to use lube today, do I?”
You can’t respond, can’t even try to. She’s so intoxicating you could cry. All that’d come out is senseless babble. You can barely muster a breath with her gaze of such intensity burning into your fucked-out face. In all fairness, she doesn’t usually have to, since she makes you gush with a single glance, but the sensual jibe does make you a little embarrassed.
You can’t think straight when she plunges a single, long digit deep within your velvety walls, stroking at a torturous pace.
“F— fuck, faster, please.” you stammer.
“Only because my baby asked so nicely.”
Her hand begins to move faster against you, the rustle of clothes nothing compared to the sounds of your wetness. She adds another digit daringly, and pumps within you faster, her technique impeccable. If she’s not careful, you’ll be falling apart around her fingers in little more than a moment. Over the years she’s learnt how to bring you to mind-shattering climax embarrassingly quickly.
“Lizzie…” you moan when she hits that special spongy spot that makes you see stars behind your eyes.
Quick thinking as ever, she clamps one elegant hand over your mouth, her pale fingers digging into your cheeks, the metal of her rings cool against your lips. You can’t help yourself, your tongue darting out to lick the band of her wedding ring, skilfully wrapping your wet muscle around her. She can never resist when you do that, and her own knees begin to buckle, but her pace speeds up.
“Baby, I’m close,” you hiss against her hand, words muffled.
Your shoulder presses painfully into a ridge of the wall, but you can’t care, not when her wrist is flicking so quickly, yet somehow each thrust is deeper and more pleasurable than the last, the pads of her fingers catching all the right places within our quivering walls, continually hitting that spot. The heel of her palm keeps hitting your clit with a voracious intensity, needing to bring you toppling over the edge.
You come unravelled with a cry of her name, your legs unable to even partially hold yourself up as she settles you down gently on the floor, forcing you to lean heavily against the countertop. Stars and fireworks erupt to create images of Liz behind your eyelids, in the front of your brain. And the noise you made… After that, you wouldn’t be surprised if everyone in the hall knows what you’re up to, and somehow, that only fuels your need for Liz further.
“How do you get hotter every time you do that?” she husks.
Purple glittery potpourri on the window-sill prickles at your upper arm as you shuffle backwards, reaching out to Elizabeth with grabby hands. Her petite chest heaves with heavy breaths, her hair sticking up a little in cute blonde spikes.
“You wanna sit, babe?” you ask breathlessly.
Your own vision is a bit blurred from riding on cloud nine just moments ago, your juices running down your legs, glistening in the harsh bathroom light.
“You’ve always got a seat with me.” You wink, and wet your lips with your tongue. “Come sit.”
She chuckles at you, instead moving to kneel between your open legs on the edge of the counter, hovering over you
“Wait until we get home,” she teases, pressing the cold rings on her hand to your inner thigh, “I don’t trust myself, I’ll never leave if I sit now.”
Her lips lace with yours filthily, and you find yourself unable to stop your legs reflexively bolting out to wrap around her hips again, hand coming up to cup her cheek and neck with a bruising hold. Her hips rock against yours, and with your core already opened and revealed to her, all it takes is a slight fidget and a particularly harsh rut of her pelvis, and the priapic extension of Elizabeth—attached, thankfully, by a harness—is buried to the hilt within you. Your gasp is silent, your mouth opening in an inaudible ‘o’, a soundless plea for more. She’s prepped you well as always, and sought to open you up fully, which means that only a moment later you’re tapping her shoulder to signal for her to move.
The bulbous tip of the toy gains your attention rather swiftly as it grazes that heartily stimulated spot that Liz was so focussed on just minutes earlier. Her hips move with such grace even in such an ungainly act, her years of dance training aiding her elegance. God, she’s just so perfect in every way.
“Fuck, baby, I think I’m close—” she murmurs in your ear.
She begins to suck hickeys into your jawline, rendering you utterly speechless at the onslaught of pleasure you’re receiving all at once. Your boobs are bouncing as she pounds into you harder on the counter, the base of the strap now hitting your clit.
“Me too,” you eventually garner to choke out.
Your own pleasure can wait, take a damn backseat, because sweat is beading on Liz’s forehead as she wrecks her knees to fuck you more furiously, delivering you all of the pleasure you could ever want. But Elizabeth? She deserves it far more than you do after everything she’s done for you today.
She bites her lip, probably to keep a moan down the same way you are by biting your tongue, and she proceeds to hook her willowy arms around the crooks of your knees, thus tugging your legs up onto her shoulder, allowing her to hit an even deeper angle than before.
You can’t help the obscene whimper that escapes you, shrill and so pleasured, “Baby, keep— ohmygod please!”
Your head falls back against the hard porcelain rim of the sink, knocking some sense into you. This is your chance, while her eyes are still closed and the veins and ridges of the fake plastic cock are driving deep inside you, squeezed by your clenching walls. Slipping your own arm down her body and between the two of you, you find your way beneath the strap and onto her throbbing pearl.
“Shit!” she squeaks upon the first spark of contact, her body temporarily seizing, but she falls back into her previous pace within moments.
You rub circles on her voraciously, suddenly darting up to capture her lips in a sloppy kiss as a cry threatens to spill from her lips. But then you feel it coming, and your entire body tenses in anticipation, your eyes flying wide open to watch heaven crash right before your eyes.
First, her shoulders tense, followed by her eyelashes fluttering against her sharp cheekbone without her even being aware, then her legs try to involuntarily clench around your hand, her clit throbbing with anticipation as you speed up your movements. Her knees go next, then her arms, and she’s unable to hold herself up, but her hips don’t stop once. That’s when it happens.
“y/n, y/n, y/n.” she repeats like it’s her prayer of salvation.
Every muscle in her body quivers, her lips parting, her nose scrunching. Her teeth then catch your lip in the kiss you’re mixed up in, and her hips still. It doesn’t matter, since you’ve reached your own climax just from watching her fall apart at your very own mercy, your own legs falling from her shoulders, open wide on the counter as you chant her name in as quiet a whisper as you can muster.
Heavy breathing resonates through the small room, the stifling air now reeking of sex.
“C’mere,” you coax.
The counter is cold beneath you, the sink uncomfortable as you lie down flat, but when Liz crawls feebly into your arms, it matters a whole lot less. The comfort she provides is, and always has been, incomparable. Ethereal is the only way to describe her this way, too, blonde hair ruffled as she curls into your side, burying her nose into your shoulder, her arm slung over your waist.
“Do you think you got your revenge, babe?” she asks in a quiet voice, husky, laced with sex.
“Definitely. There’s no way they didn’t hear that.”
“Probably more than what most of those has-beens have got in years.”
You meet her twinkling eyes, and dissolve into a fit of giggles together, gripping her even tighter. It always was a secret fantasy of yours to do something like this, but you never imagined you’d be here nearly a decade later, fucking your wife in the staff bathroom. That’s just… beyond, but so hot.
“Ready to blow this place?”
“More than,” you answer, “but safety first.”
She gazes up at you, pouts and grumbles, but slips off you and into the left hand stall anyway, while you take the right. Once she emerges, the strap is safely stowed away in a discreet bag—one you purchased specifically should a chance like this ever arise since you’re not fans of handbags—and she turns the tap on. You wash your hands in a contented silence, and fix each other's clothes and hair the same way, until you’re at least half way presentable (though still more than mildly dishevelled) in order to just escape to the car and then hope at long merciful last.
“Should we text your brother?”
“I’ll do it when we reach the car,” you tell her, taking her hand as you unfasten the lock and pelt out into the corridor. “Wait, one minute.”
She watches you peculiarly as you pull out perfume from your pocket, spritzing it around the room, before re-entering fully and cranking the window open. At least this way the scent of sex is partially masked.
“Ever the resourceful one,” she chuckles, following your lead down the corridor, her long legs bounding beside you.
Your giggles carry around the high ceilinged building, bumping and bouncing off every wall so it seems, and once you're out into the foyer, she ensures to kiss you loudly, bending down to meet your height, just to test if your kisses have the same effect.
You don’t get to test that, however, before an all too familiar voice snaps you out of your trance, and suddenly, you’re fifteen and being told off for late homework again.
“y/n!”
You scurry to hide Liz behind you, as if that’s of any use whatsoever, and almost melt into tears when you see Mrs Alleman.
“Oh dear, how good to see you.” she professes, and before you quite know what to do with yourself, she’s standing right in front of you, wearing the same stylishly sensible shoes she always did.
“And you, Miss.”
“Who’s this?”
Glee forces a wide smile onto your face, standing aside to allow Elizabeth’s full beauty to be appreciated.
“This is my wife, Elizabeth,” you say, the proudest thing you’ve said all evening. “This is Mrs Alleman, my language teacher. She taught me everything I know.”
“Oh stop it,” she plays coy, but is gasping and gawking joyously beneath it. “Mr Smith owes me a tenner now. I predicted you’d come here with a female partner of some sort, he said you’d just come as an out and proud lesbian but single.”
Your jaw drops, and you can see Elizabeth’s chest rattling a little with swallowed laughter.
“I’m sorry, what? You had a bet on me being gay?”
“Oh yes, it first started when you were in year eleven and so helplessly queer, we couldn’t help but keep placing bets on how long you’d stay in the closet.” She places a gentle hand on your upper arm, noting the evident flush about you, and turns towards Liz. “Anyway, hi Elizabeth. You treat our girl well, she was a great student.”
“Always, Ma’am.” Liz answers dutifully, squeezing your hand even tighter in a silent promise. “She’s the most wonderful thing to have ever happened to me, and I’m glad she had an influence like you among all that lot of bogans.”
Mrs Alleman is impressed, you can tell since she’s wearing that same delighted expression she did when you told her you got into your top choice university with the results you aimed for, thanks to her teaching. “Tall, out, and Aussie? She really does have it all. And as much as I’d like to argue, you’re totally right, that year was a damn nuisance.”
“Somehow, no one has matured since we left?” you comment with feigned shock.
“That doesn’t surprise me.” It didn’t surprise you either. They were a fat lot of use, the whole lot of them. At least you and your brother were able to do good on your promise to get away from them all. “What are you doing now?”
“Oh, I work in translation for the home office and cabinet ministers.” Though your statement doesn’t hold as much pride as the one about Elizabeth being your wife did.
Her eyes grow wide, “That’s brilliant! I know you always wanted to do something like that.”
“I did, and I actually enjoy it.”
Mrs Alleman’s face softens, “I hoped you would. But promise me you’ll never become a teacher.”
You loose a chuckle, saying, “Never,” before stilling to a beat of easy silence.
“I love those earrings, by the way.”
“Oh!” You twist them subconsciously. “Anniversary present.”
“Y’know, I’d love to stay and chat, but I have to get inside and make a speech,” she grumbles. “Drop me an email, I’d love to catch up and properly see how you’re doing. Bring this tall drink of water if you’d like,” she adds with a wink.
“I’d really like that Miss, thank you.” you say, flushing a little.
Mrs Alleman was always one for affection, so you’re not entirely surprised when she approaches you with wide arms, her court shoes muffled on the foyer carpet. You accept the hug, and you’re surprised when Liz does the same. You say your goodbyes, agree to meet again, and let Elizabeth lead you back to the car, your fingers woven together.
“Was that worth being dragged out of the house for?” Liz asks.
“Hmm, I’m not sure. Perhaps shoving that strap down my throat will make it a little more worthwhile,” you say with a smirk.
“I heard that!” Mrs Alleman shouts from the top of the stone steps, gazing at you disapprovingly despite the laughs tumbling from her.
You cling to Liz, pressing your lips into a thin line when you feel your phone buzz, your brother's name popping up on the screen.
‘Everyone knows what you were doing. Don’t come back.’
‘We weren’t planning on it,’ you type back. Not now you’ve reaped your revenge, at least. You shut your phone after adding to the message, ‘Drinks at ours tonight.’
These people from your past are insignificant, Liz is your future and your forever.
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taeyongdoyoung · 4 years ago
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summary: the forest is your only escape from the everyday troubles with your family until you find danger lurking behind the trees. or rather, danger finds you. your fateful encounter with the vampire ravn leaves you wishing for a different life. you strike an unexpected deal with the stranger that will soon turn into something more…
pairing: vampire!ravn x reader
genre: vampire!au, angst, humour, romance, smut
warnings: blood mentions, betrayal, panic attack, secrets, sensual (?) biting, ravn could eat this girl raw and she’d probably thank him (but he’s being a gentleman, as usual), kink discussion, self-doubts, fears, lots of kissing, y/n recites poetry again, swearing (like twice), fingering, blowjob, possessiveness
word count: 2.4k
author’s note: i just wanted to give yall something nice before all hell breaks loose. enjoy
part one 🌙 part two 🌙 part three 🌙 part four 🌙 part five 🌙 part six 🌙 part seven 🌙 part eight 🌙 part ten🌙 part eleven 🌙part twelve 🌙 epilogue
The minute you opened the door to Ravn’s castle, your current home, you ran into his arms and started crying inconsolably.
“Y/N, what happened?” he asked you and stroked your back in an attempt to comfort you.
“You were right,” you choked out. “Leedo was that wolf���that werewolf who followed me.”
“Did he confirm it?” Ravn felt the need to know.
“Not really,” you admitted. “But when I mentioned that night, he said ‘so that’s what you did to escape’. He said it in such a way that I just knew it was him. You should have seen his face,” you explained and you shuddered at the thought.
“So you don’t have any material proof?”
You shook your head weakly.
“But I should have trusted you,” you insisted. “I was such an idiot.”
“Does he suspect you know he’s a werewolf?” your boyfriend completely ignored your momentary self-bullying because he was more concerned about your life being intact.
“I don’t think so,” you murmured anxiously. But he knew you had a boyfriend. And that you lived close to the forest. How could you tell Ravn that you’d accidentally let it slip? Your heart was beating so rapidly you feared it would come out of your chest any second. You were completely terrified. Not of being killed, no, that didn’t scare you in the slightest. Your biggest fear was disappointing Ravn. Letting him down would be worse than death itself, you thought.
“What are you not telling me?” Ravn whispered coldly.
“H-how did you know?” you asked, suddenly feeling so feeble and pathetic.
“I can hear your blood pumping faster in your veins. It’s a bit distracting, to be honest,” Ravn chuckled and caressed your neck teasingly.
“Are you hungry?” you didn’t want to neglect his needs.
“Don’t try to change the subject,” your boyfriend scolded you. “What are you keeping from me?”
You looked away from him guiltily and made a poor attempt at escaping his soft touch, but he held you down as swiftly as you’d tried to flee.
“Y/N…how am I supposed to know what I did wrong if you’re not talking to me?”
Oh, no. He thought he was the one at fault. How could you break his heart like this? You somehow gathered the courage to face him again.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Ravn,” you reassured him. “It is me who fucked up. I…told Leedo that I have a boyfriend and that we live close to the forest.”
Ravn swallowed nervously but didn’t interrupt you, instead choosing to let you finish.
“I didn’t tell him your name or that you’re a vampire,” you immediately defended yourself, without waiting to be attacked, trying to make it sound as if your mistake wasn’t that fatal. “And it’s not like I was bragging about you, it just slipped unintentionally, I swear!”
Ravn grabbed your arms. For a brief moment, you thought he would just get it over with. Nothing could have prepared you for what came next.
“Y/N, breathe,” he was trying to calm you down. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“But the ground rules…”
“Are for your safety rather than mine,” Ravn informed you. “I’ve lived hundreds of years. Even a whole pack of werewolves cannot scare me,” he smirked confidently and you had to confess, you found that very attractive of him.
“There has to be something that scares you. Everyone has fears,” you pointed out reasonably.
“The only thing that terrifies me is losing you,” your boyfriend ran a hand across your cheek.
“So, turn me,” you immediately offered a solution to his one fear. “If you make me like you, you will never have to lose me.”
Ravn pulled away from you.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” he said and added, jokingly. “And besides, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to spend eternity with me. It can grow very boring.”
“Don’t you trust me?” you teased him. “I would stay with you forever if given the chance.”
Ravn smiled softly.
“Well, it’s not up to you, is it?”
You huffed in annoyance but decided it wasn’t in your favour to act like a brat. You didn’t deserve anything. Not after what you had done…
“So…you’re not mad at me?” you inquired, testing the waters.
“Would you still be breathing if I were really mad at you?” Ravn joked in a gentle manner.
“Can’t argue with that one,” you sighed. “But seriously. I’m genuinely sorry for letting it slip that you live close to the forest. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something were to happen to you.”
“We,” he corrected you.
“Huh?”
“We live close to the forest. You shouldn’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. But can you? You need to work harder on your self-preservation instincts.”
“But I don’t need to. You can take care of me, instead,” you wrapped your arms around his neck, perfectly playing the damsel in distress role.
Ravn proved you wrong. With one brisk movement, he twirled you around and tightened his hold on you, his teeth dangerously close to your neck.
“You shouldn’t count on a cold-blooded animal like me to take care of you,” he hissed next to you. You would have trembled if you weren’t so embarrassingly turned on by his words. You simply closed your eyes, anticipating his fangs to pierce your neck. You were left with a shocking sensation of unfulfillment and disappointment when this didn’t happen.
“You’re such easy prey, it’s no fun,” Ravn complained and let go of you.
You gave him a sad and dissatisfied look.
“Do you want me to run around the castle like an idiot?”
“I’d rather you didn’t let me get away with using you for blood.”
You furrowed you brows in confusion.
“But…that was the initial arrangement?” you reminded him. “You let me stay, I let you drink from me.”
“I know that,” Ravn spat out, getting frustrated for some reason. “But the arrangement didn’t mention anything about a change in dynamics. We didn’t expect there’d be feelings involved.”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“You’re my girlfriend. It isn’t right of me that I’m also using you as a food source.”
“But I like it,” you enunciated slowly.
“Why?” Ravn seemed sincerely dumbfounded by your admission.
“Why do you like drinking my blood?” you challenged him. “I just do, I don’t have a particular reason for it.”
Your boyfriend rolled his eyes sarcastically.
“I like drinking your blood, because I’m a vampire, love. Or did you forget that?”
You chuckled idiotically.
“Semantics. Whatever the cause, why can’t we just both enjoy ourselves? And each other…”
Ravn shrugged.
“Since you’re making it so hard for me to resist you,” he groaned and dug his teeth into your neck without much warning. You didn’t need it, though. By now, you had grown accustomed to his primal instincts and the way he shifted so abruptly from calm and peaceful to lethal and animalistic. It was refreshing that even when he continuously surprised you, there was still a large part of him that just felt so…familiar. Like home.
A couple of minutes later, Ravn stopped feeding from you, leaving a sort of emptiness inside you. The sensation of giving him your blood felt so strangely intoxicating that sometimes you found yourself wishing it could last forever. However, you knew that wasn’t very sensible, because then, you’d bleed out to death. And you were certain neither you nor Ravn would enjoy that very much.
He pressed a piece of cloth against your neck to stop the bleeding and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. You looked up at him, completely awestruck by his cold beauty.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured apologetically, somewhat ashamed of his actions.
“What for? It’s only natural,” you responded quietly.
“Damnit, Y/N, there is nothing natural about my existence.”
“Stop,” you said, determined to change his mind.
Ravn simply blinked at you in confusion.
“Stop acting like I’m supposed to view you as some sort of monster, because you’re not,” you explained, getting aggravated by the way he disregarded himself. “There is no one else I’d rather be with than you. You’ve given me more than you could possibly imagine. You need to stop being so hard on yourself, okay? I wish every minute with you could last eternity, Ravn. So, please, stop saying such morbid things about your existence. If anything, I am grateful for it.”
Your boyfriend’s eyes filled with tears and for a short while he allowed himself to be vulnerable, let them fall down his cheeks like tiny raindrops. You didn’t know vampires could cry. And yet, why not? They were human once…Instead of saying anything, Ravn pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head in such a gentle way that made you feel so protected, so special. Then, he lifted you up and carried you to the bedroom. Your arms were wrapped around his neck and you hid your face in his chest, feeling ever so small. When he laid you down, you could swear you were minutes away from melting into a puddle. His lips met yours halfway, eager to be closer, to get as much from one another as you possibly could.
“You’re so warm,” he murmured into your mouth and caressed your cheek gently.
“And you’re so cold,” you reminded him needlessly.
Ravn shrank away from your touch, his gaze pained; he was obviously offended by you pointing out how his freezing skin affected you.
“No, no, don’t take it the wrong way,” you were quick to reassure his anxiety. “I like that about you. Opposites attract, remember?”
Ravn seemed quite upset by your words. You had intended to ease his mind, but instead…you kept saying the wrong things.
“Would you not like me if I were human? If I were…warm?”
You shook your head.
“I would like you even if you were a volcano, as long as you’re still you. I mean…your personality,” you insisted.
“Really?” Ravn was surprised by the closest thing you’d come to a confession. “You’d stay?”
You nodded adamantly.
“Of course I would! But…there’s no way of finding out, right?” as far as you were aware vampirism was incurable.
“Right,” he confirmed curtly. “Now, where were we?”
You smirked and traced a line across his cheek with the help of your finger.
“Somewhere very, very nice,” you whispered. “My love is like to ice and I to fire.”
“You know your Spenser, my sweet love,” Ravn praised you and attacked your neck. Not with his fangs but with soft kisses. This was it, then? You were going to die from embarrassment.
“I do quite enjoy him, I admit,” you mumbled absent-mindedly.
“Oh? Tell me, darling, who do you enjoy more? Him…” Ravn pulled away from your neck, which caused you to whimper helplessly at the sudden emptiness you felt. “Or me,” and with that he returned his attention to you, sneaking a hand between your thighs. You were begging and moaning uncontrollably at this point, but because you were an incorrigible brat, you couldn’t help but tease him:
“I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it, maybe even do some research.”
“Research, huh?” Ravn chuckled and curled his long fingers inside of you. “Allow me to provide you with a primary source. To make your research more…hm…satisfying.”
“F-fuck,” you feebly let out the most corrupt sounds imaginable.
“That’s not very academic of you, love,” your boyfriend laughed into your neck, sending sudden vibrations to your body that further augmented your pleasure.
“I’m s-sorry,” you stammered.
“Sorry?” Ravn mocked you playfully. “Look at yourself, darling. You’re not sorry at all.”
You sneaked a peak at your already trembling legs and his beautiful arm discovering the secret realms between them. You cringed at your display of weakness, but the vampire immediately noticed your expression and made you feel comfortable again.
“Relax, love. Can you do that for me? Can you let yourself go, hm?”
You affirmed, eager to prove that you could do that, you could do anything he asked of you. Seconds later, you reached your high, coming all over his fingers, as he held you down with his lips still on your neck. You had seen galaxies in photographs but they were nothing like the galaxies you saw in front of your eyes in that brief moment, which slipped away as quickly as it had arrived.
“You…you’re trying to kill me,” you giggled.
“Au contraire, my darling, I would like you to lead a long, happy existence in my arms. If you allow me to take care of you, that is.”
“What, you expected me to say ‘no’ to that?” you continued laughing, eternally amused by the way he expressed himself.
“It pleases me immensely that you keep saying ‘yes’.”
You smiled smugly, an idea suddenly forming in your head.
“Now it’s my turn to make you say ‘yes’,” you told him and escaped his grasp swiftly, pushed him down onto the bed and began unbuckling his belt.
“You don’t h-have to…” Ravn spoke softly.
“Shut up. I want to,” you insisted and made your way downwards, planning on kissing every inch of him. Once you’d reached your final destination, you looked up at him, as if asking for permission to continue.
“What’s wrong?” Ravn asked you, visibly concerned.
“N-nothing, I’m just making sure you want me to…”
“Why wouldn’t I?” he blinked at you in surprise.
You didn’t press him for further information and gingerly licked the tip of his cock.
“S-shit,” Ravn groaned and held onto your hair tightly. You were shocked to find out his action thrilled you. You glanced up to see his eyes half-shut. You wrapped your lips around his length and did your best to bring him as much pleasure as he’d given you. He whimpered beneath your touch, which would have caused you to smirk if your mouth wasn’t so full. You moved your head up and down, aiming at fastening your pace and it wasn’t long before he warned you that he was close and that you might want to pull away. However, you had quite different intentions and stayed put, swallowing every last drop of him.
“You look like a vision,” Ravn told you.
You blushed and giggled simultaneously because you very much doubted the validity of his statement.
“I’m literally a mess right now,” you pointed out.
“But you’re mine,” Ravn responded, the hint of possessiveness making you feel more desired and needed than ever. “You’re my beautiful mess.”
To be continued…
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