#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.

[ssruis]

Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.

[thesimulationswarm]

Double Shot

Joel Miller x f!reader x Tommy Miller

Pairing: pre-outbreak!Joel Miller x f!AFAB!reader x Tommy Miller Rating: explicit, 18+ MDNI Summary: A gorgeous man walks into your coffee shop and introduces himself as Tommy Miller. Then his equally gorgeous brother shows up. You can't decide which you like better... but maybe you don't have to. A/N: This will be in four parts, building up to the smut. Hopefully released daily. It's dumb filthy shit I couldn't get out of my head, okay? Then I'll be back to my ongoing serious series. Word count: 1.5k warnings/tags: threesome, shameless flirting, sibling rivalry, PWP

Part 2 , Part 3, and Part 4 are available now.

Part 1

“It’s going to be another hot one out there today folks— topping out at 105 this afternoon. Remember to drink lots of water, stay in the shade, and of course, wear sunscreen!” The opening beats of Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) followed, and you whacked the radio off in annoyance.

You were sick of this summer. Sick of the record-setting heatwave. Sick of the shitty little building you’d found for your coffee shop, which had seemed so cozy in February but turned out to have the world’s lowest-output air conditioner. Sick of sweat staining through your t-shirt as you worked the morning rush.

You were proud of your business, sure. You’d started from nothing and managed to get it off the ground. Now you had a steady clientele that came for their morning coffee but also for your homemade pastries— your pride and joy. But to keep things afloat you worked like a dog. And this summer was killing you.

The flow of customers finally let up for a minute and you sat on your stool, leaning into the breeze from the countertop fan. 

You let your eyes flutter closed, dreaming about the ice cold Lone Star you’d have when you finished tonight. You could almost feel the condensation on the can as you pulled it from the fridge, could hear the crack and hiss of it opening…

You just about jumped out of your skin when the front door flew open, chime tinkling.

“Sorry to interrupt. Looks like a well-earned break, sugar.”

The man standing in the doorway was tall, bronze-skinned, with thick dark curls tumbling around his face. His biceps were visible below the sleeves of his gray t-shirt, his thumbs hooked on the belt loops of his jeans as he stared at you. He was smirking, and then— when you met his eyes— he fucking winked at you.

You raised your eyebrow at him. “It was, as a matter of fact.  Been at it since 5am. But what can I do for you?”

The man ambled over to the counter, inspecting the chalkboard menu on the wall. “Well, I heard this is the best place in the neighborhood to get a coffee and a little breakfast. And I’m going to need both to start my day.”

He ordered an iced latte, double shot, and one of your cinnamon buns. You set to work preparing them, only too aware of his eyes on you as you moved behind the counter. You got a lot of flirts in here, men looking for a little ego boost on their way to work, and for the most part you didn’t mind—as long as they don’t take it too far.

There are times, though, when it’s not just about not minding.

Times when you decidedly enjoy the attention.

And this would be one of those, because this man is fucking gorgeous.

You feel your hips swaying more than usual, and you wish you’d worn something more alluring than jeans and an old t-shirt. At least this pair of jeans does a good job of highlighting your ass, especially now that the denim is clinging to your sweaty skin.

“So is this a summer job, or do you work here year round?”

“Honey, I don’t work here. I’m the co-owner,” you reply, whipping around to set his drink down in front of him. You were vaguely aware of the door chime tinkling as another customer walked in, but at that moment you only had eyes for this one.

The man let out a low whistle. “A business owner and a beauty? Color me impressed.” He leaned forward against the counter, looking around at the pastry case, the neat racks of cups, the espresso machine.  From this distance you could appreciate his freckles, like a dusting of brown sugar over his sculpted face. “You know, I’m in business myself.”

“That so?”

He held out a hand to you and broke into a wide smile. It was dazzling. “Tommy Miller, of Miller Construction.”

You were about to shake hands with the beautiful Tommy Miller when you were both interrupted. The customer you’d been ignoring had materialized at his side, and smacked him— hard— on the arm.

“Tommy, quit your bullshit!”

“Jesus, Joel, I’m in the middle of somethin’ here!”

You watched with interest as the two turned to face each other. The second man— Joel, apparently— was about his same height, but looked a little broader through the shoulders and a little older. He had a strong jaw, painted dark with stubble, and an impressive mustache. 

Jesus Christ, it was hot enough in here already.

“You’re in the middle of wastin’ precious time, is what you are,” Joel scoffed, before turning to you. “I’m sorry about my brother, ma’am. He thinks he’s god’s gift to the ladies.”

You laughed, looking from one man to the other. You could appreciate similarities now— the dark curls, the strong but trim bodies, the deep eyes you could get lost in.

“And you should know,” Joel added, “It is Miller Construction, but I am the sole proprietor. Tommy here works for me.” Then he held out a hand across the counter, with a close-lipped smile that was less flashy than Tommy’s but no less devastating. “Joel Miller. Of Miller Construction.”

Tommy glared daggers at his brother as you reached across to shake. Joel’s big hand swallowed yours, his grip firm and warm. You felt something electric go down your spine, the hairs standing up on your arms.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Joel,” you said, looking into his rich brown eyes. Then you turned, and held out your hand again. “And it’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Tommy.”

Tommy’s hand was smaller than Joel’s by just a hair, but it was softer, too. You looked at Tommy as you shook, but out of the corner of your eye you could still see Joel— watching you touching Tommy.

The dampness you were feeling between your legs— it wasn’t just sweat anymore.

It was mid-afternoon and the cafe had started to feel like the ninth circle of hell. There weren’t many customers after lunch, so you used that time to work on baking for the next morning. The problem was the ovens, which put out way more heat than your crappy little AC could counter. You had about 30 minutes left before you could pack it in for the day, but you thought you might just spontaneously combust if you stayed inside.

So you grabbed a paperback and a cold coke from the drink case, and went outside. Your place was on the corner of a little strip mall in South Austin, and it bordered on a gravel lot with food trucks and picnic tables. Everything was closed up this time of day, but that was all the better to have a quiet moment to yourself.

The sun was fucking brutal, but you sat in the shade of a live oak, and you could feel a little breeze lifting the hairs on the back of your neck.

You looked around at the sun-baked street, watching people come and go. Mostly in cars in this heat, but some brave souls were walking or on bikes. Next door, a work crew was taking a break from the building frame they’d been erecting. You watched the men downing gatorades and wetting bandanas to tie around their necks. Now that was a tough job on a summer day.

Then you noticed something.

Off to the side was a makeshift table, papers spread across a piece of plywood balanced on two saw horses. Two broad figures stood beside it, looking down.

Joel and Tommy.

This was goddamn Miller Construction.

You knew you shouldn’t spy, but you couldn’t help watching. The brothers looked deep in conversation— Joel with his arms folded across his chest, Tommy with his head tilted to one side. Tommy pointed to something; Joel nodded, and then pulled a pencil out from behind his ear to note something down. Tommy said something else and Joel shook his head, tapped his finger on one of the papers emphatically.

Both men, taken separately, were impressive items. But when they were together, Christ almighty. There was something magical in their practiced ease, their good-natured jockeying for dominance. You couldn’t pick just one to admire.

You heard your oven timer go off inside the cafe, and you reluctantly peeled your eyes away from Miller Construction to head back inside. You hummed along with the radio as you checked on your croissants, suddenly a lot less annoyed by the interminable summer.  With their building site right next door, you ought to be seeing a lot more of the Miller brothers.  You were going to make the most of it.

[moonswolfie]

Rice Ball Rival

Timeskip!Osamu x Onigiri shop owner!Reader

My first multi-chapter work!! I really hope I do well and it seems a little daunting but I'll do my best😤❤️ Also yeah, it's only 5 chapters long because my brain cannot to dedicate itself to anything at all

I will warn you, I use swear words occasionally

Time for some enemies to lovers now ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(I actually had to research onigiri flavours and fillings, still might not be the most accurate, so if anyone happens to know more about onigiri or japanese cuisine in general don't be afraid to correct me 😊)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

CHAPTER 1: It's just buisness

"One kombu and one ume onigiri coming right up!" you yelled happily, placing the food on the table. You went back behind the counter, smiling happily, watching the customers dig into the food from the corner of your eye.

It always makes you indescribably happy to see people enjoying your food. Whether it was your friends, loved ones or complete strangers.

It was really close to closing time right now and the two ladies were the last people at your place before you're closing up shop as scheduled.

As you were putting away some kitchen appliances, you overheard the two ladies talking.

"See, I told you it was good!"

"Yeah, but like, the umeboshi ones are WAYYY better at Onigiri Miya."

There it is again. That wretched Onigiri Miya.

The thing you least expected after finally opening your own onigiri place was for a completely new place to open a year after yours. In your area, too. At first you really didn't pay too much attention to it, but then people started talking about it in your restaurant and you even lost some loyal customers to that mysterious onigiri place.

You sighed, cleaning the kitchen counter with an old shirt of yours. It's only natural that some will prefer one place over the other if they're in the same area, but it made it tougher for your buisness to stay afloat. And that's never a good thing.

You'll never forgive the person who owns Onigiri Miya for stealing the precious old lady who came in for onigiri every so often, though. Or any other customer for that matter.

Hideaki, your employee, yelled from the exit that he's leaving and you yelled bye back. You're always the last one left in the restaurant, which is obvious since you're the owner, but it always felt a little depressing seeing the place completely empty.

You worry that this might become your fate if Onigiri Miya keeps stealing your customers.

"We're done with our food! Thank you!" you heard one of the ladies yell, and you exited the kitchen to see them off, thanking them for visiting.

As you watched them exit through the door, your smile faded. You returned to your tasks when they were completely out of your vision.

You cleaned up anything else you had time for, changing into normal clothes and then locked the place up. The final step was switching the sign on the door from open to closed. You smiled at your restaurant, your pride and joy, one last time before turning around to go home.

Only to find a flyer for Onigiri Miya when you turned the corner.

...That asshole. Advertising their own place right next to yours?! That's playing dirty!

If you weren't pissed before, now you are. You're getting sick of hearing about it everywhere and now you have to look at it on your way home, too?

You know what, you don't have to look at it. You ripped the flyer off the lamp post, about to tear it to shreds when you noticed something. Onigiri Miya closes one hour after your place.

Even if you wanted absolutely nothing to do with Onigiri Miya, you did end up becoming curious as to what their onigiri tastes like. You hesistated. Should you go to Onigiri Miya, just to test out their onigiri? It would satiate your curiosity, but you would be giving your direct competitor money.

You're free today, so you do have the time, but is it worth it? What if something happens? Surely not... You stood there, staring at the flyer for a few minutes.

Sighing, you decided to take the plunge as you walked further down the street. It'll just be one time, and then never again. Then you'll go back to being competitors. If anything, this is intel on your opponent.

Besides, they don't have to know who you are. Soon, you found yourself in front of the restaurant, taking a deep breath. The entrance had a big "Miya" kanji written on it, so there was no way anyone would mistake the place for something else. It looked quite homey, atleast from the outside.

You walked in, immediately hit by the scent of onigiri. It's a scent you're very familiar with but it's always so invigorating when you smell it. It feels like home to you.

"Welcome!" you heard someone yell from the kitchen. That quickly reminded you that you're in enemy territory. You acted like an innocent customer, sitting down at the table and browsing the menu inconspicuously. Huh, they have some interesting fillings here.

Maybe you should, uhhh, get inspired by some of them and add them to your menu. If they can steal your customers, you can steal their fillings, right? Since you're supposed to be a normal customer though, you should probably stop grinning mischeviously at the menu.

You heard someone's footsteps approaching and you looked up to find a surprisingly buff man around your age with black hair and grey eyes looking down at you.

He had an apron with the Onigiri Miya logo on it so he must be an employee at least. "Welcome, what wouldya like ta order?" A Kansai dialect, huh? He must not be from here. Not that it matters, you have onigiri to order.

"I'll have the ume one, and one nori tsukidani one." you decided to prove the lady from your shop wrong and try a completely new flavour that's not yet on your menu while you're at it.

"Got ya." he smiled at you, walking back behind the counter and into the kitchen. When he left, you looked back at the menu, comparing it to yours.

It's got quite a bit of variety, but if the variety came at the expense of the flavour then you wouldn't be losing so many customers. What a frustrating thing Onigiri Miya is.

You quickly got lost in thought, thinking of how to improve your menu and new onigiri fillings. So much so that you didn't even notice the plate of food being placed in front of you.

"...Are ya good?" the mystery guy asked, looking at your spaced out expression with concern. You quickly snapped out of it, assuring him you're fine. That was embarrasing, but he's just some stranger that you'll never see again, right? Since this restaurant visit is a one-time thing. So no worries.

One thing you noticed right off the bat is that the rice balls here are bigger. But that's just because the guy's hands are bigger.

You picked up the umeboshi-filled rice ball, blowing on it to cool it down before taking a bite. Wow, you hate to admit it, but this actually tastes great. The rice is nice and firm and isn't overcooked and the sour flavor of the umeboshi compliments it well. There's a good amount of filling, too.

You furrowed your brows, staring at the rice ball. You're really mad that it's this good. Normally you wouldn't be mad about good food, but this is your direct competitor we're talking about.

Suddenly, you feel inspired to improve your recipes, to change up your menu, maybe even branch out. You devour the rest of the ume onigiri, not wanting to let the amazing flavour distract you from the sudden burst of inspiration.

You quickly reach for the nori tsukidani-filled rice ball, taking an experimental bite immediately. The onigiri has a rich, complex flavour to it. It almost makes you jealous of the owner of this place, and you hate it. It's not that you don't think your onigiri can't possibly compete with theirs, but the fact that you now know that people's claims of Onigiri Miya being better aren't unfounded only fuels your desire for revenge.

You swallowed the onigiri with vigor, walking over to the counter with fast, determined footsteps. You're so taking out your cookbook when you get home.

The guy behind the counter seemed to notice your strange expression. "Seriously, are ya good? Ya scarved down those onigiris like yer goin' through an intense break up." he asked half jokingly.

"I assure you, I am perfectly fine." you fiddled with your wallet, taking out your credit card and placing it on the table.

"If ya say so." he took it, handing you the bill. And they're fairly priced, too! Dammit, Onigiri Miya! You simply can't wait to best them now. As you walked out, already planing the next 20% off promotion, you heard an employee approach the man at the counter.

"Miya-san, where do I take these boxes?"

Wait... but this means....

He's the owner?!

Idk how it happened but I got an error and lost a big chunk of this fic and had to rewrite it (T_T)

Sometimes I hate tumblr istg

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Being Content In God

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ Hebrews 13:5 Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

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SUBJECT: : Being Content In God

=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM SEEKING GOD DAY AND NIGHT

I AM KEEPING MYSELF FREE FROM MONEY

I AM BEAUTIFULLY, WONDERFULLY MADE

I AM FREE

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

 There's so much in the world we can have. There's so much to buy; so many different things are coming out, and we talked a few weeks ago about being content. Still, we all find it hard to be content in a world that offers all these new things. Some of us have never had anything so expensive, and some of us have, but that doesn’t mean we don’t want more.

      Still, some of us realize that having less is better, and some of us haven't caught that idea of having less because we feel that if we have less, I'm poor, and that’s not true. That means you know the value of your time, and you know the value of what this stuff means, which is nothing. I have never been without anything, and I remember that one time briefly in my life when I needed help, no one wouldn’t help me. No one cared to, so I had to struggle by myself.

    I wasn’t a Christian at the time, but I felt and knew I needed him, but I was too stubborn to ask. I was too stubborn to go to him because I knew if I went to him, I couldn’t play this back-and-forth game with him; my dad said, Lui, don’t play games with God if you for him walk that line if your not for him, don’t do it. I always lived my life like that, but what I learned from not having those things I thought I needed ,that I didn’t need them that even in that part of my life, I realized he was there.

  God is going to be there for us. Regardless, some of us refuse to let him in; even though we DON’T let him in, we are still God's children. Some of us feel I have all these treasures, and I have all these things. Why do I need him???

 Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

   The word tells us not to lay our treasures on earth because things here will be destroyed or stolen. I used to have this violin. I spent $5,000 on it was #12 in the world. I named him Allan and bought this costly bow made of horsehair. I stopped playing, and my parent packed it up in a bin. And one day I went to get it out because I wanted to play with it, the bow was broken because it’s a type of bug that will get on the hairs of the bow and will destroy it and I forgot about that, that expensive bow is gone now I must get it restrung.

  Do you see, no matter what I did to protect it from blocking those bugs or trying to block anything from harming it, the things of this earth still got to it, and that’s what the lord is telling us today; it doesn’t matter how much you protect the things here, it doesn’t matter if you have security stand outside your house, or you put something in a safe to keep it from robbers it don’t matter what we do it still won’t last.

   Proverbs 11:4 Riches do not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death.

  The Lord is telling us today that riches won't do us any good in the day of wrath, it won't save us from hell, it won't help us with God, he doesn’t care what we have in our account. We must leave our riches behind and allow righteousness to save us from death. Walking a life free from the pride of life and the lust of the flesh is what we must do to enter heaven. We must live a life worthy of him and not what we want to do.

  Nothing will save us from what will happen, but God can protect us; he’s the only one who can keep us from spending eternity in hell; he’s the only one who can comfort us through our sorrow. He’s the only one who can give us what we need, but we shouldn’t expect wealth from God. We should expect , compassion, mercy, and grace because that’s what we need most of all; it would be nice to have a large sum of money, but where is your heart right now if we die? Where will we go?

  Ecclesiastes 5:10 Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income. This, too, is meaningless.

  Even if we have everything and all the money in the world, we won’t be content, look at famous movie stars; they aren’t happy they are just rich, and we have seen time and time again they are just happy not filled with joy they are just miserable and they are happy for a moment not for a life time what we can get from God can fill us with so much joy for a lifetime but if we think for one minute that money can save us, we are wrong.

 ***Today, we learned that we need God to save us and that Jesus' blood, which he shed in Calvary, is all we need. What saves us is believing in Jesus and knowing he loves us so much. The Holy Spirit wants us to understand that we can’t protect ourselves from the things in this life, but we can save ourselves by giving our lives to God.

   The enemy wants us to think we need everything to live and that money makes us happy and sure it will buy things we want, but that’s about it, but the things we buy can’t save us from hell, nor can they change us, and complete us ,when we see people that are about money and that’s all they talk about they have issues with this, and this is what we should avoid doing is becoming people that are about money because money can come and go but God love stays forever . ��Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father, we thank you for everything; we ask you to give us your love and strength; help us not look for money to complete us but look for you and your grace and mercy. Father, please remove the spirit of mammon away from our lives; help us to focus on you and not anything else; lord, forgive us of the sins we have done; help us to seek you day and night; lord, we love you and thank you. In Jesus' Name, amen

========================

REFERENCES

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+ Proverbs 13:11 Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.

 

+ Luke 12:15 He told them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

 

+ 1 John 2:15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

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FURTHER READINGS

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Proverbs 29

2 Timothy 3

Acts 3

Genesis 50

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[aspartaime]

I'm in a mood tonight so if anyone who i have ever known see this, let's read further. This is truly so stream of conscious. It's just a general life update.

CW: drug use, mental health themes, emotional?? idk it was to me, SA

My friends on this site, I know we've been out of contact for years. I have been in a season of life where I am extremely sentimental. I look back on my friends I made here/friends I have IRL that also followed me here, and it makes my heart swell.

I was going through some severe mental issues when I was on Tumblr regularly. I've since pinned it down to "being a chronically online, easily influence teenager". There were a lot of things either glorified, justified, and normalized on Tumblr that messed up my nerf ball brain. I was not a great friend because of it. I realize in hindsight as an adult whose brain is less nerf-bally that the lot of you who cared about me must have really cared about me to stick with me through that shit show. This is my formal apology in the least direct or awkward way for my behavior. Know that I love you all and pray your lives are full of home cooked meals and laughter and peaceful Sunday mornings.

Since my PTSD diagnosis I have done a lot of making sense of old memories. My life from age 13 through age 17 is such a blur. My girlfriend doesn't know what to say when I bring it up. You all would love my girlfriend, by the way. We live together now. She's the light of my life. She makes things worth remembering again.

I finally stopped acting like a doormat. My constant need for validation that I experienced in my youth has become a mildly nihilistic disposition. But like, the cool nihilism, where nothing matters so everything is super chill. I realized it doesn't matter if I don't like someone or someone doesn't like me, we all have different preferences and needs and all. I dunno. It's kind of nice to be free of clingy baby hell. I'm attributing that to the PTSD diagnosis as well.

I got into weed. This is not a surprise to anyone who have ever had a conversation with me, I'm sure. I started smoking to take the nightmares away. Then it became just a normal part of my day. I don't abuse it though. I just find that it helps keep my head quiet.

I got in a lot of fights along the way. It's kind of funny. This last fight was really my tipping point into my "go-with-the-flow" phase. Given it was the third (or possibly even fourth? PTSD makes it difficult to care about keeping track) I was sexually assaulted, I just had to make a decision then and there I was done caring. It also reinforced my belief that people who go through hard stuff have a flashing sign over their heads that tell other predators this isn't their first rodeo. At least it felt that way to me. I digress. This person was my best friend, allegedly, and it just blew up on me.

Anyways. All that negative aside I have been doing better than I ever have. My mental health is taken care of. I stimulate my brain and challenge myself with my three jobs, LOL. It keeps e out of trouble. I am with the most darling woman I've ever met. She saved me. My two cats are my prides and joys. I'm in a longplay of the Sims 4 right now.

I sign off on this post by requesting:

If you knew me and took the time to read this, I care for you always. Thank you for helping me get to where I am now, getting me through the hardest years of my life when I was also constantly using this site, and teaching me so much about true friendship. You guys rule.

[no-ctrl]

I often wonder why you chose to end our story the way you did… since I was not told and just ghosted from one day to the next I can’t help but blame myself. Now it is much easier to cope with these feelings but a little over a year ago I was shattered by your actions, or lack there of. On nights like tonight I want that comfort of telling you everything. I miss the domesticity of our relationship. I miss having a person to tell the mundane details of my life. I miss when you would comfort me when I was on my period (currently on my period so I feel this extra hard these days). I miss having someone I can confidently say I love and they love me back. I miss feeling wanted and needed. While I don’t know your reason as to you leaving me, nights like this I want to blame myself but I know it’s my insecurity filling in the blanks. It’s quite frustrating bc my heart feels something while my brain says something else. I want to break no contact ALL the time but I wasn't the one to walk away. i want to share my wins with you along with the losses. i miss when you were a safe space for me. now you are a stranger and it actually kills me. i want to tell you how i started school again and have has straight As so far but i also want to share how i just got laid off. i want to hug you. i want to cuddle you. Unfortunately you’re not even the Israel I want anymore bc the Israel that I loved wouldn’t have intentionally hurt in the way you did when you walked away from me last year. the guy i miss respected me as a woman and as a person. im tired of suffering, i want to be liberated from these feelings. I am tired of missing you. I’m tired of feeling this pain. While pride can be negative, my pride has protected me from breaking no contact. Something that has broke me deeply is how even me labeling out separation as no contact is me trying to not completely let go of this situation while you probably don’t call it anything and it’s just us being done to you. I get FRUSTRATED. I just wanted you Israel. Days like today I wish the world would just open up and swallow me whole. I don’t want to be separated. I don’t want to be without you. I miss your silly boyish tendencies. I miss your sweet and tenderness that was reserved for me. I miss you loving me in the way you uniquely loved me. I feel defective. I don’t want to start over with someone else. I want Israel. I am frustrated bc I’m just so damaged. I have abandonment issues from both my father and ex-boyfriend. I have mommy and daddy issues. I can’t imagine anyone loving me. Not even Israel could love me as I am. He left me while I was at one of my lowest points and genuinely that has damaged me more. I feel so unlovable. Why do I have to be the person crying at 1 in the morning over a year old heartbreak? I just want to be enough. Why am I not even enough for myself? I just want to talk to him. I wish I could hear his side of the story but it doesn’t even matter what he says bc nothing he says will make me feel better or make the situation any better. I’m frustrated bc I’m in just a state of hurt. Not just Israel but everyone. I hate everything. I hate how I feel, I feel like a loser and I feel like I have no purpose. I have no connection. I feel so insignificant and I wish I could just disappear bc even if I did it would not make a difference in the world. I feel like there is no place in the world for Jaymee. I want to disappear. I just want to be loved. I want to be chosen. I want to be someone. I’m no one. I wish I could just disappear. I literally just lost 2 job within 4 months. I just feel like a loser in all aspects. I cannot continue living a life like this. I want to be free.

[dragonflylady77]

(header by @dirtbagdefender )

Harringrove Master List

Harringrove micro poetry on Ao3 (series)

Grease 2 AU ramblings

Harringrove Story Challenge chapter 5 by me

Fics:

Why fight a guy (when you can kiss him instead) [previously titled Steve can't take it anymore] - on Ao3

Never fall for a straight guy - on Ao3

A frankly ill-timed visit - on Ao3

definitely better than being dead (July 4 fic) - on Ao3

i wanna do everything with you (harringrove 24h relay race fic) - on Ao3

i got you a whole flower shop (valentine's day fic, Florist!Billy) - on Ao3

i know how i feel about you now (HGC valentine exchange, present for @spaceofentropy, Limo driver!Steve) - on Ao3

Mr Steve and the Monster Hunter (Harringrove Big Bang fic) - on Ao3

The Birthday Wish (Billy's birthday fic) - on Ao3

Not-So-Blind Date (harringrove 48h Relay Race Fic) - on Ao3

the bit that mattered (HGC Pride event, present for @whenyouwishuponastar7 & @discodeviant, enemies to soulmates, Robin's POV) - on Ao3

what's my name again? (July 4 fic- Amnesiac!Billy, post Starcourt) - on Ao3

the pull in his chest (Stranger Things Big Bang soulmates AU, post Starcourt) - on Ao3

you got it (Kings of Nowhere Harringrove Zine) - on Ao3

people like us (birthday fic for @thissortofsorcery - Robin and Billy secret gay bffs) - on Ao3

the stolen merprince (billy big bang 2024 - mermaid!billy & mermaid!steve) - on Ao3

Harringrove Summer Bingo Fics (Masterpost here)

ready or not (C1 - hide and seek) - on Ao3

camping disaster (A1 - camping disaster)

i don't put out until the third date (B3 - ice cold cocktails) - on Ao3

a slippery mishap in the shower (A2 - black eye) - on Ao3

a royal wedding (C3 - blazing sun) - on Ao3

i'm in your corner (B1 - professional basketball) - on Ao3

what are your intentions with my brother? (A3 - dare romance) - on Ao3

not on the menu (B2 - free space) - on Ao3

you look pretty (C2 - freshly cut grass) - on Ao3

Billy Hargrove Bingo Fics below (Masterpost here)

I have plot notes for 2 more squares (Tarzan AU and Phone sex so I will update if/when I get to them)

Pizza my heart (Billy Hargrove Bingo - A1 Hate sex) WIP - on Ao3

Steve's pick (Billy Hargrove Bingo - A2 Love at first sight) - on Ao3

Snowball fight at the old junkyard (Billy Hargrove Bingo - B3 Snowball fight (ch1) & A3 - The Party approves (ch2)) - on Ao3

Nobody puts Billy in a corner (Billy Hargrove Bingo - C2 Dirty Dancing AU) WIP - on Ao3

Text posts:

We Talked About This (also on Ao3) | Flirting (also on Ao3)| Clingy Mess | Angst | Wake Me Up (also on Ao3) | Am I dreaming | Only The Best (slightly extended version on Ao3) | Harringrove Husbands | Finding peace together (also on Ao3) | No 'plenty of bitches in the sea' for this Billy | Steve's parents have the worst timing ever (based on a post by @lovebillyhargrove) (also on Ao3)

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Firstprince

RWRB drabbles

a different kind of prince (smut with feelings) - Ao3

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Stuff I wrote for other fandoms

Power Rangers 2017 fic

Spuffy missing scene fic

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Important Posts I love & Lists of HG fics by trope that I put together

Steve's hairy chest fancam vid by @shieldofiron (who is the bestest)

Dacre Smoking (direct your thanks towards @prettyboybillyhargrove for this one)

Neil Gets Dead Fic list (nothing I wrote but handy list!)

Ghost!Billy (handy list compiled by me, written by other people)

Ace HG (another list collated by me)

Merfolk HG (I like lists, okay?)

Camboy AU (you know you wanna read)

[skyborn-reads]

📜 Your Toxic Traits — an intuitive reading

This reading reveals your possible toxic traits, where they stem from, how to move forward from them and includes channeled advice from your Higher Self. Please take only what resonates 💙

Warning: This pac can be rough for some because while it is a heavy topic, traits are also pointed out in a straightforward, matter-of-fact manner. If you are easily offended or sensitive, this pac might not be for you.

Picture sources 1 ✦ 2 ✦ 3 ✦ 4 ✦ 5 ✦ 6

Sky 1 — Unearth

Cards drawn: The Tower (reversed), Queen of Swords, Virgo/Demeter (reversed)

Before the shuffle I picked up on a fiery, direct but impulsive energy. Your cards flipped out the same way. Your toxic trait is leaping into things without thought. It's not that you don't see the potential risks, it's just that you decide to ignore them because of impulsiveness to carry on with what you want to do. You rely on luck a bit too much. A daredevil. Turning a deaf ear to others' advice. This trait needs to be realised and moved forward from because it will not do you good. You either have already suffered the consequences of your lack of thought or will face the consequence of your impulsiveness in the near future. The Tower card also comes with a warning: beware of what seems too good to be true. If your intuition is telling you that something is fishy, listen to it and don't leap headfirst into fishy ponds.

Next, another of your toxic trait could be abuse of power or overfixation on ego. Some of you might have issues with authority. You want to be seen as the rightful leader, the popular person. People's praises and attention make you feel good. Due to this you might place your self worth on others' thoughts about you. This trait can be a motivating force that leads you to higher places but it also makes you egoistical and if given the chance to, might abuse your power. If your worth depends on other people, then you're not the high and mighty monarch like you think you are.

Your Higher Self's Message:

“Seriously? Look inward. You're messing up your chances of winning if you keep pretending that you did nothing wrong. It's time to face the music. Admit your mistakes and you'll be free from the self judgement that pretends as if you're anything but the incorruptible genius you believe yourself to be. Why is your ego fragile? Perhaps because you never learned to distinguish the voice of reason from the sensitive ego. Admitting your mistakes lets you see more, lets you truly heal from what has happened. Let's not continue the cycle no more, let's forge a path of understanding so that we learn from our mistakes. The world is your oyster, but only if you really believe in your power and not the false pride that you tricked yourself into. You're capable of greatness, the past has proven that, but your insistence on past patterns also serves to prove that you don't really know yourself any better, inside you're just as fragile.”

Sky 2 — Belong

Cards drawn: The Hierophant, Nine of Pentacles, Pisces/Aphrodite

Your toxic trait is over-dependence. Going along with the crowd. Codependency. Seeking others' approval despite yourself capable of making decisions for yourself. Seeking direction from others. You might place your self worth on someone else. Anxious when it comes to making decisions. These traits affect your relationships negatively and might cause you to be disconnected from your true self and not seeing the value of relationships because the focus is on getting approval from the other person (be it friends, partners, etc) rather than focusing on the quality of the connection. Emotional fragility, being wishy-washy.

What you see is what is painted in by emotions, now to move forward from these toxic traits you are asked to realise the fact that you and you alone hold the key to your future. You are in power despite your tendencies to hand the power to others. You are not the meek lamb like you see yourself to be, but you are indeed misguided by thinking that other people can give you the direction and acceptance that you denied yourself first.

The Presence that watches over you (be it God, Universe, Higher Self or any higher power you believe in) beckons you to open your eyes to what is really happening around you, and your part in contributing to it.

Your Higher Self's Message:

“Peel back your eyes. We are not alone in this world. I wish to tell you that you have my every support. What is a person if they have not done wrong? We need not blame.” Your Higher Self has such a sweet loving energy, they regard you as a sibling! They are very soft-spoken. They send you love and would like to express that they are patiently watching over you in each step you go. They do not wish to pressure you, they're just happy that despite what you've been going through, you are learning and picking yourself up after every fall. “That is what I love about you.” They want to send you hugs and forehead kisses ❤️

Sky 3 — Pathways, Mirrors and Smokescreens

Cards drawn: Page of Wands, Four of Pentacles (reversed), Aries/Mars (reversed)

Your toxic trait is believing yourself to be an ideal than how you really are like. Seeking approval as support for a fabricated sense of identity. Deep down you know how you are like but you enjoy the idea of being portrayed or thought of as your ideal self. Vanity. Admiration for certain traits that you see as perfect, and wishing to be regarded by others as possessing these traits due to own lack of acceptance. Might reject reality.

Might be materialistic and see material gains as a direct link to worth. This is also what you might judge others on. Wanting to be accepted into the popular/prestigious group. Boastful. Feel the need to continuously display material success in order to satisfy the inner need for acceptance, but you must realise that this lack of acceptance stems from you not accepting yourself. Remove that crown of jewels for once, and ask yourself if stripped of this crown do you still love yourself? Because acceptance should be fundamental, not based upon any value or gains. Self love is needed to see past the crown, because you are already wearing the crown. You don't need to be rich or be accepted into any clubs to be a respected. You are worthy of love, respect and acceptance just by being yourself. Your true self shines brighter than any prestige, and it's time to reclaim your power.

Say no to those who judge you based on what you have. See past them. Know who your real friends are. True friends love you for your personality, for your presence, for your true self. Fake friends don't. Find your tribe of people who see you and value you for the right reasons.

Your Higher Self's Message:

“You're quite hard-headed huh? Well, it's good that you are turning back now. Remember though we see ourselves crystal clear. Even if you are not right now there is always time for you. Some things are meant to be taken step by step. Don't force what doesn't resonate, dear. Let me guide the path.”

Sky 4 — Stage & Scrolls

Cards drawn: Page of Cups (reversed), Five of Cups, Taurus/Venus

Underperforming. At the face of a challenging task you are procrastinating and only giving half of your attention/effort. Like the first group you tend to rely on luck. You are witty, yes, and you're quite smart, that's the reason you sometimes choose to take shortcuts or believe that you need only to put in minimal effort to get a higher than average result. Sometimes it looks like you're treating serious tasks like a game. Deep down you know you could do better but you don't always feel motivated enough to chase after excellence. You wish this and you wish that, but wishing won't bring you any closer to what you need.

Despite being a happy-go-lucky you are pessimistic in other regards, like when you're dealing with emotions and life events. You stare at the ground pondering if it will ever flower, due to this you might keep yourself pondering and become stuck in one place. It's not that you don't want to move forward, it's that you wear this veil of pessimism, questioning constantly if you should let it go. You seem to have inner conflict about your emotions, whether you should let it out in the open and allow yourself to feel them, allow yourself and people you trust some vulnerability, or whether you should act tough and mask it all up. Because it's uncomfortable to show emotions. I hear “empty”, well somebody once said that if your mind is empty then you're ready for anything. Despite your situation though your surrounding energy is very positive. Your spiritual friends trust you, they want to offer their reassurance and they want to tell you that they love you. I see angelic beings around you laughing merrily and sending you love 💕

Your Higher Self's Message:

“I trust you to make the right decisions. You have always been wise and strong. Know that you have my unwavering trust, okay? *hugs* Everything will turn out fine, okay?”

They give you a bright smile and if you are wanting to cry right now they would like to kiss your tears away in a motherly, affectionate way.

“You have nothing to be scared of. You're born strong, you fight back. What is the world? If I tell you you can, you absolutely can. Slay.” *blows you a kiss*

Sky 5 — Autumn Leaflets

Cards drawn: Ace of Cups, King of Swords, Virgo/Demeter

Your toxic trait is not daring to step out of your comfort zone, pretending that you're happy with the small things you have when actually you have much greater aspirations. It's good to be grateful for what you have but I'm hearing that you can achieve greater things if you commit yourself to chase after your dreams. Things have been in stagnancy for a while now. Stepping out of your comfort zone will switch things up for you.

You're a champion. You're talented. You have what it takes so don't listen to that discouraging voice in your mind telling you that what you want is not for you. It's quite the opposite. If you put in effort, you'll reap what you sow.

You might also be slow in action, like thinking too much instead of start doing it, moping around but not progressing, not doing what you're supposed to do or doing it too slowly. This has caused past opportunities to slip by and might cause the same in the future if you don't make a change.

You might not have a good relationship with your father. In fact some of you have had horrible experiences in your childhood relating to your father that makes you feel that you have to be on high alert with other people in case they get aggressive. For some of you this manifests as anxiety, and might cause you to shy away from people. This is certainly not your fault and if this is accurate for you I'm so sorry that you've had experiences like this. The Swords card would like to tell you that the past cannot be changed, it's good to have your defenses up but keep in mind that there are people who carry positive intentions for you and keeping your walls up at all times would not help the relationship. There is a certain degree of vulnerability that is important for a connection to reach true depth, and that is one of the lessons you have in this lifetime — to learn to trust the right people.

Your Higher Self's Message:

“I know the past was not easy. We've gone through that and we still have a lot to go. Be strong. Fight for what you believe is right. I'll always be on the other side cheering for you. We are the bestest friends, and despite the glass wall you put up separating yourself, we are One. I'll always come through for you.”

Your Higher Self tends to speak in dreams and symbolism. They advice you to read up on symbols or syncronities you see often.

“Some nugget of truth!” They winked.

Sky 6 — Choose What Grows

Cards drawn: Eight of Swords, Page of Swords (reversed), Capricorn/Cronus

Your toxic trait is self-limiting, stubborn, closing yourself off from opportunities and people who can actually help you. You pursue what you want even though facts tell you that it might not be what's meant for you. You keep pushing hoping that one day it will happen. Other people try to give you advice, but you don't listen unless they agree with you. This is incredibly self-limiting because you're closing your eyes from what is really good for you.

You can also be defensive when being met with judgement or people who question you and your choices. There's imbalance in your life, where it might feel everything is a mess and not orderly, not how you wanted it to be. There is impatience too for things to work out perfectly but without looking into the main reason why they went wrong.

Your Higher Self's Message:

“Prioritize what's important and prepare for what's next. Things are not always going to be that way. Be patient as it unfolds. There's something you're not noticing that's happening right in front of you. Do you see the patterns? It may be subtle but so is change. Sometimes what you need may not be what you want for now, but shift your perspective. Are you chasing after what you need, or are you patiently watering a plant that will not grow?”

[demonicheadcanons]

Haha and okay I just saw that your askbox is open and read your rules, so if you don't mind, could I please request some hcs for Beel, Mammon, Asmo and Belphie and how they like to cuddle with mc? Cuddle hcs basically lol. If four is too many please feel free to adjust this! Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful day 🥰

The Obey Me Brothers: Cuddling / Sleeping Headcanons

AN: Sorry this took a while!! I decided to write for all the brothers because I have a tiny rough draft of cuddle headcanons back from like, the first week I started the game. Mammon’s was the first I came up with, and I filled in the rest from my impressions of the boys from the first 4 lessons. They’ve evolved since then, and I hope they’re alright!! Take care 💙

Brother x reader writing style. Gender neutral reader as always. Written on mobile primarily so excuse any formatting mistakes please ;u; I only go on PC to add finishing touches and a read more

Some things may come off as suggestive, but aren’t really intended that way except for Asmo’s - this is fluff through and through

Lucifer

- Ideal cuddles: Likes to have you lay on his chest in his bed. He doesn’t want his brothers intruding and annoying him or pulling his attention away from you, so his room works best. There’s something about being able to look down and immediately see you there that almost gives him butterflies. It settles him immediately. He’s canonically not a morning demon, but waking up to that sight and knowing you trust him and feel comfortable around him gives him enough motivation and hope to do anything. Getting through the days becomes a breeze when he knows he can return to that most nights. He’s also a real delight to see on those early mornings - tired, but his smile brightens up his eyes, and his hair is a mess over the pillows. He’s not stressed out yet, so he’s fully relaxed and looks quite elegant.

Sadly, he’s often busy, and regularly misses out on sleep. At times like this, he likes having you curled up in his lap whilst he works, so long as you don’t distract him. He’ll press occasional kisses to your temple and you can nap or read or just lay there and listen to the music he always has playing when you’re in his study.

- He has to be very close to the MC to let them cuddle up to him, and initially he’s a bit stiff and awkward because he kind of forgot what this feels like. For the first while he’s quiet every time you cuddle him, wrapping his arms around you and leaning his head against yours and staring off into the distance. He’s touch-starved. Give him a moment.

- Once he settles and starts to get used to affection, if you two are alone he’ll walk up and put his arms around your shoulders and pull you in for hugs, leaning his chin against the top of your head. One time, months into whatever relationship you have, he does it in front of his brothers without thinking, and whilst he feels embarrassed after he realises he doesn’t mind - somewhere between him seeing it as staking a claim, because he’s still the avatar of pride, and between feeling comfortable enough in your presence that he can’t bring himself to care how they’ll react.

- On his rare days off, will absolutely whisk you off somewhere else for a day out in the Devildom and a night in a cabin or hotel or something where no one will bother the two of you and he can hold you in his arms for as long as he wants to and talk to you about everything that comes to mind, completely free and relaxed. He’s one to mumble about something or other when cuddling, unless he’s working, so when the two of you are just relaxing together he’ll ramble about something or ask you questions and listen to you talk.

- Once Luci said something that made you laugh whilst you were laying with your head on his chest and he knows he’s never going to forget about it. Will intentionally try to make you laugh so that he can experience that again. He was an angel once and yet, nothing feels more like heaven to him. Only thing is he’s not above teasing and tickling you to get a reaction out of you, so long as it’s one that might end in you laughing and smiling up at him, and you’ll feel his own laughter rumbling about in his chest.

Mammon

- Ideal cuddles: In your bed - it smells like you and it’s tidier than his room, probably. He likes to have his arms wrapped around your midsection whilst facing each other, on your sides. He also doesn’t mind if you use his chest or shoulder as a pillow, so long as you both have your arms around one another. Often times he’ll bury his face in your hair to take in your scent and because it’s soft and calming. By the time you wake up, he’s going to end up wrapped around you like a koala.

- Adores cuddling on days off when the two of you don’t have to leave for longer than a few moments at a time, especially in a place where his brothers won’t bother you; think, staying in a cabin where it all feels so domestic, you two can wake up whenever you want and make breakfast together and stay practically attached at the hip the entire time, sinking back into bed or laying together on the sofa whenever you want. No responsibilities, no pressure.

- Plays with your hands, or runs his fingers along your side, or tucks one arm up behind your back to hold you really close and play with the strands of hair at the base of your scalp / top of your neck. So long as it doesn’t disturb you heavily, he tends to have some kind of motion, not one to stay still for long.

- He’s quite warm, almost rivaling Beel, so you might have to ask him to loosen his grip on you if you get warm easily. If you do, he pouts and suggests he lowers the temperature of the entire room instead, or buys thinner blankets or gets rid of blankets all together.

- He tries to stay up until you fall asleep because it feels so peaceful and he really feels like he’s protecting you. Also, no one can criticise him or be rude to him when they’re sleeping. Even if you don’t ever talk down on him, his brothers weigh him down, so watching over you whilst you rest in his arms makes him feel so much better without worrying that you’re judging him.

- One time you two were cuddling and he just started crying quietly, because damn, he’s the luckiest demon in all the Devildom and even Lord Diavolo would be jealous of him right now. He’s an emotional cuddler, and will randomly tear up or start chuckling to himself. He’s quiet and doesn’t usually voice his thoughts when cuddling but you can tell he’s thinking constantly and always really happy.

- He gets shy easily enough but he’s also possessive, and he’s not one to turn you down. Because of this he honestly doesn’t care where the two of you cuddle, or who sees. His grip gets a little tighter around you if his brothers walk in and you’re curled up together on the sofa or something, but he wants to be held 24/7 and any mild temporary discomforts are more than worth it when he’s with you.

Leviathan

- Ideal cuddles: Please lay on top of his chest. Literally just lay on top of him. He melts every single time. His bathtub bed is perfect for this, because there’s really no other way to lie unless you want him to lay on top of you, so he prefers cuddling there - that, and it helps him stay cool, and he gets to be in the safety of his own room. In an actual bed, he’s the little spoon all the way. It’s hard to convince him you truly like him, but when you cuddle up against his back and wrap your arms around him he feels a little safer believing you might be telling the truth. It also makes him feel really safe and comfortable, a barrier from the outside world that he rejects daily.

- It doesn’t happen very often, but Levi is one of the brothers most likely to sleep in his demon form, and occasionally when you’re cuddling he’s so relaxed he takes on his demon form without really thinking about it. He says sorry and, half asleep, offers to turn back, but if you’re not uncomfortable then he starts to do it more often. He’s mindful about his horns and prefers to cuddle in his bathtub so he doesn’t tear any of your pillows or accidentally jab you with his horns.

- He’s somewhat cold to the touch unless he forces himself to raise his internal temperature. You’re unlikely to overheat whilst cuddling with him, but you’ll need a thick blanket or you may end up shivering after a few minutes, at which point he’ll try his best to be warmer and apologise profusely. He hates being warm, though - best to just go for the layers of blankets.

- Y’know that one thing where (usually) a girl goes up to her boyfriend and climbs into his lap whilst he’s gaming? Adores that. Oh, it makes him so, so happy. The first time you do it he drops his controller and after a minute of startled silence where you wonder just how red his face can get, he wraps his arms around you tight enough that you feel your spine click, and he buries his face into your neck and stays there for as long as you let him. He’s so flustered and yet, you can tell he’s happier than he’s ever been. It instantly cheers him up no matter how bad his mood is. It’s even better if you’re playing a game on a handheld system whilst he plays or watches something and the two of you are just, wrapped around each other but still doing your own thing. He just wants you close to him. He just wants to know you like him. Please give this boy cuddles.

Satan

- Ideal cuddles: Like Mammon, in a bed he likes to have his arms around your waist and for the two of you to be facing each other. Your room would be ideal but he would really rather be in his so much he ends up cleaning all the books off his bed just so he can cuddle up with you. He also likes the idea of cuddling up under a tree somewhere, or in one of those plush window seats, where you two can look out over the Devildom and he can point out different places and talk about them all - Satan has connections everywhere, and you’ll feel like you know everyone by the time he’s done.

- Satan isn’t particularly warm or cold. His temperature varies with the seasons, but he’s mostly just lukewarm. This means you’re unlikely to overheat or be too cold when you cuddle, which is always good.

- He likes to read to you or have you read to him, or ask questions back and forth to prod at each other’s minds a bit. A talkative cuddler - there are brief moments of silence, but he’s thinking constantly and he wants you to be involved in that, just like every aspect of his life. There’s usually a clear connection between one of his thoughts and the next, and he’ll have calm discussions about thinks with you in his arms.

- Only falls asleep first if he’s really, really tired. Otherwise he’ll stay up and read or talk to you until you fall asleep. Like Mammon there’s something about the peace, something about knowing you trust him, that you don’t see him as his anger, nor as his false personality that he puts on to please the others and maintain a decent status in comparison to Lucifer. You just see him as he is. He thinks about this a lot as he pets your hair.

- Speaking of petting your hair, he has a tendency to run his nails over your scalp when you’re in his arms. If you’re uncomfortable it would be best to tell him early on before the habit is set in stone. His main source of affection comes from the stray cats he feeds outside, so he just uses whatever knowledge he’s gained from that. This also means he’ll take one of your hands in his arm press gently into your palm with his thumbs, like he’s pressing the pads on a cats paw.

- Feels close to normal when he’s cuddling. Like he was never born solely of one emotion, because he feels so many in those moments that he really could be a whole on his own. He’s not one to hide this, and will openly vent to you about it. As well as this, he’s quite likely to come straight to you if he isn’t feeling well and needs cuddles to settle down. The only exception is if he’s really angry and is worried he might hurt you by accident. Even then, if you can get close enough to take his hand or wrap your arms around him, there’s a large chance he’ll settle enough to hold you in kindness and he can begin to heal.

- He doesn’t talk about it openly but one time he’s in an awful mood and you grab his head and hold it against your chest until he lets out all his emotions and feels better and it becomes his favourite thing in the world. He loves to cuddle with his head against your chest and your fingers running through his hair. You can tell that he adores it because he ends up purring and nuzzling his face against you. Unlike Luci, he hasn’t been to heaven, but he’d be able to describe the feeling of it much better than God himself could using just that embrace as his reference point.

Asmodeus

- Ideal cuddles: “Whatever you want, honey.” He isn’t picky, he just wants to be touching you in any way possible. However, he really likes laying with his head on your stomach or chest - especially if he can press light kisses against them. He wants some skin-on-skin contact, even if its holding hands or one of you burying their face in the other’s neck, or pressing feathery kisses to the insides of your wrist. It soothes him. He can’t stop himself from grinning if you nuzzle into his neck.

- He’s just the right temperature for cuddles. He’s on the warmer side, but whatever the perfect temperature is for you, he’s there. When he sleeps on his own, he likes to have a lot of blankets piled up, and then have a fan on to balance out the temperature, and he’ll push for the same setup when you’re cuddling together.

- One of the brothers who will go up to you when he wants attention. He’s the least shy, and will happily throw an arm around you anytime, anywhere. Honestly if it doesn’t bother you, he’d pull you into his lap in public or in front of his brothers and cuddle you close to him. The only problem he could possibly imagine is that other people are jealous of the two of you, so you’d really have to sit him down and explain if PDA isn’t at all your thing. Happy enough to link pinkies if that’s all you’re comfortable with, but he needs a lot of affection, so expect him to essentially trap you in his room later so you spend time with him.

- King of gentle kisses and soothingly rubbing your arms / back if you’ve not had the best day. He doesn’t mind whether you two talk or not, but on bad days he’s the best to go to - he’ll listen to everything you have to say, and verbally destroy anyone who’s annoyed you, all whilst holding your head to his chest and tracing shapes against your back.

- Loves loves loves listening to you talk about your day and then filling you in on his own. He’s a gossip but harmlessly, and will talk about whatever’s trending currently, keeping you up to date on everything. If he really wants to show you something or take a photo with you he likes to cuddle up with an arm around you and hold his phone in his other hand, scrolling through whatever social media he’s found this really interesting or horrible thing on. Otherwise he’s quiet enough, with mumbled words of affection and some suggestive jokes (and touches, if you’re comfortable. He won’t go anywhere with it if you’re just cuddling). He’s just happy and he wants to soak in it for as long as possible; he finally understands how people feel when they fall for him, he says

Beelzebub

- Ideal cuddles: Big spoon. Preferably in his bed rather than yours. He wants to wrap his arms around you, especially if you’ve already got your arms wrapped around yourself so that he’s essentially holding your hands at the same time. He buries his face at the base of your neck / top of your spine. He also really, really loves just having you cling to him in some way, and will carry you around like that - usually he loves having you curled up in one arm whilst he goes about his day or eats.

- He is so warm, but if you’re laying down he’ll insist on having a blanket because it keeps him safe from the monsters in his closet :( You’ll definitely need something to cool you down, and he gets into the habit of getting you a glass and a large jug of water before you cuddle up together because you have to stay hydrated and it should help you cool down at least a little. Get him a thin blanket and a fan of some kind and it should just about balance it out.

- He’s the opposite of Belphie, in that he doesn’t tend to cuddle for long periods of time - he wants to, and pouts any time he has to get up, but even if you help him not feel quite so hungry, he still needs to eat regularly. If you’re asleep he’ll move as slowly and carefully as possible so that he doesn’t wake you up. If you’re awake he’ll gush out apologies and then ask if you want to be wrapped up in the blanket and carried along with him. If you say no he pours a fresh glass of water and rushes out and back because he really wants to spend time with you.

- Sometimes he just gets really excited and happy and he’ll grin at you wordlessly.

- He’s quiet but in the early morning, when he wakes up, even if you’re not awake he’ll press soft kisses against your shoulders and the back of your neck and whisper whatever comes to his mind. He tends to repeat over and over that he really cares about you and that he’s really glad you’re here.

Belphegor

- Ideal cuddles: In the attic on his nest of pillows and blankets, curled up so that you’re both mainly on your backs but somewhat facing each other. No matter what he’s going to end up curling up against your side by the time he wakes up anyway. He also really likes sleeping on top of you, but this is a bit risky because he sleeps like a log and its hard to wake him up when you need to get up to eat or use the bathroom. If you’re not in the attic, the only other place outside of your rooms that he likes to cuddle up together to sleep is the planetarium, looking up at the stars together.

- He’s on the cooler side, but likes being warm - he’s used to the kind of warmth Beel produces. Because of this, he’s liable to snuggling in as close as he possibly can to you to absorb some of your heat. You’re going to become his own personal radiator.

- Unlike Beel, he will cuddle forever. There are very few things stopping him from just sleeping constantly, with the main reason being that he wants to spend time with you and Beel. In fact, you’re going to have trouble getting out of his grasp once he wraps his arms around your stomach and pulls you down onto his pillow nest. Its best to devise a system and let him get used to it - tapping on his arm or hand 3 times, or something like that, and he’ll release you. He’ll also push for you to wake him up. The only other thing that will make him release you is if he brushes a hand against your side and you’re ticklish and laugh, in which case he’ll grin and start tickling you instead.

- Like Levi, if relaxed enough he’ll slip into his demon form. It takes less energy to be in that form anyway, and he likes letting you play with his tail when you’re  cuddled up together. Acts annoyed if you start poking and prodding at him because you don’t often get to see the boys relaxed in their demon forms, but he really enjoys it. Purrs if you pet his horns.

- He’s not at all talkative but likes to listen. However, he’s liable to falling asleep very, very quickly, so it’s not worth saying anything too important to him; he’ll listen, and he’ll remember when he wakes up, but he’s not going to respond effectively in a timely manner.

- Belphie smirks and grins a lot, but sometimes he wakes up earlier than you and he looks at you until you wake up too, and you’ll see his lopsided smile as he beams at you, content. Mornings are okay like that, he decides, even if he grumbles and complains when you tell him you have to start getting ready for class.

[crystalelemental]

“books-are-my-life-stuff: Oh yeah, Morty is definitely popular, but...I don't think he's top 3 popular, y'know? If he's at 5th or 6th, that makes a lot more sense, he's below Lillie, May, Blue, Cynthia, and possibly Steven and N (if Steven gets lodge alt and N gets an alt in Villain Arc). And yeah, Leaf hasn't gotten an alt for a damn long time. Which is sad because she's my top 3 favorite female protags below Serena and Kris...“

Right?  Like there’s a pretty clear heirarchy overall.  Though Steven’s also only at four.  I do think it’s only a matter of time before Steven and Morty get into the Lodge, though.  Also, fantastic taste in female protagonists.  I really like Leaf’s design, she’s up there with Dawn and Serena for me, but I do like Kris personality-wise a bit better so I think Leaf’s #4 overall in my book.  Still up there, though.

“Oh right, Alola is like how Johto used to be prior Villain Arc, I also didn't realize it until now. Maybe that will change during Villain Arc, but that'll take a while... At least they have two Master Fairs to compensate that somehow...? Either way, it's still pretty sad.”

It’s really sad, but also who would get a PokeFair?  People are hoping Gladion for the Alola Pride, so I guess the protagonists in the VA?  I’d personal hope for Acerola, maybe Nanu.  Kahili if I can be super greedy.

“Uh...wow, even after knowing the formula of the calculation, I still don't understand. So, Gym Leaders and NPCs aren't supposed to get higher treatment, and when they do, they automatically get higher points...is that what they meant? That's kinda baseless to be honest... I'm still confused how they come into that decision...”

Basically, if I have it right, it’s like this.   They assigned point values 1-5 for the rarity of an alt, with 1 being F2P, up to 5 as a Master Fair.  PokeFair is 4, Seasonal 3, and general pool 5* is 2.

Then they assigned a value for the trainer class, with Champion, Rival, and Protagonist being 5, E4 being 4, Gym Leader/NPC 3.  I don’t know if they had anything at a 1 or not, but the idea is the less “significant” a character is, the lower down the list they are on that scale.

To calculate that number, they take the rarity and divide by character type.  If the number is 1 or greater, the character is considered favored.  If less than 1, they’re being under-valued.

What this results in is Lillie and Morty, at a value of 3 for NPC/Gym Leader respectively, getting absolutely blasted for having a Master Fair and PokeFair respectively.  Lillie gets 5/3 = 1.67, and Morty gets 4/3 = 1.33.  They’re a bit watered down because other alts exist, but it’s not by much.  Comparatively, Red getting a Master Fair is 5/5 = 1.  A much, much lower modifier.  Meanwhile, Blue is lower than Red because he’s only had at most a 4/5 = 0.8, which is being undervalued.  Hilariously, note that Cynthia has two goddamned Master Fairs, two PokeFairs, and is only #5.  Because all of those are “deserved” based on her Champion status.  But somehow.  SOMEHOW.  May ranks above Cynthia, despite never having a single Master Fair.  Note that Hoenn has about as much representation as Sinnoh, so it sure isn’t overall regional pool to draw from either.  And it can’t be because of a free unit from the Lodge, because May’s got that too.  I could use that as an explanation of Steven being above her, because nothing he has is below seasonal, but May is apparently higher than Cynthia despite having a general pool and a free alt among her five.

All it is, is a measure of what characters they think deserve stuff.  Saying a character’s class is a 5 is equivalent to saying they deserve a Master Fair, and if they don’t have one, they’re being under-appreciated and will be rated lower.  Meanwhile, anyone who isn’t a protag, Champ, or Rival has allegedly no business getting a Master Fair, so they rank higher.  It’s insane.  Especially considering protagonists as part of this, given how many are silent.  They don’t fucking talk!  Why should they be considered high-tier priority favorites?  My favorite bit is how this is naturally going to skew data into “Look at how under-valued the male protagonists are :(” despite the fact that realistically, you’re talking about a character with 0 dialogue outside of this game, and effectively nothing to stand on to achieve popularity, so of course they’re not safe bets.  This blows my mind.

[taleasnewastime]

The Wedding

Summary: A wedding of close friends is always a nice occasion. But what if your ex is attending. And what if that ex also happens to be sat at the same table as you with a date. Hopefully the mysterious stranger sitting by you at dinner can help save the day.

Pairing: Jin x reader  

Genre: fluff; smut; angst

Word count: 11.2k

Authors Note: Happy (belated) Birthday Jin!! I hope he had a fabulous day, he deserves it. Here is a not so little story to celebrate. (Note to self, work on better titles for stories). I hope you all enjoy :)

It had been 4 months. 4 months since you and Harry finally decided you would end your 2-year relationship. Though that makes it sound like a mutual decision. What is it that celebrity’s call it when they’re getting a divorce? Irreconcilable differences. As if there is nothing wrong, just a change in feelings. A mutual decision where two people decide, hey this isn’t working shall we just call it quits?

But that’s not how it felt to you. Harry had told you he wanted to end the relationship and you had no other option but to go along with it. What could you really have done? Refuse? And what, Harry would have just been like sure and stayed with you? No. You left the relationship holding some of your pride (you hoped), agreeing that it was best the relationship ended, even if that wasn’t what you wanted.

In all honesty it may have broken your heart more to do that then to have begged him to stay.

4 months may seem like a long time to some people, but after 2 years together, 4 months felt like a mere second to you. If you think about it you can still picture his face when he sat you down and told you that he no longer loved you. You can still feel the pain of your heart shattering in that moment. You can still feel the tears that ran down your face like a stream. You can feel the nod of your head as you struggle to hear his words, just nodding in agreement to whatever he is saying. And you can still see his back as he walked out the door, leaving you behind.  

Friends had told you he was not worth it, that you should move on. And it’s not like you hadn’t tried, you’d gone on a few dates, but none of them lived up to him. Which you were the first to admit sounded stupid, what guy that chose to leave you like that deserves you to grieve that much over him? You told yourself that you were just waiting for the right person to come along, but they were yet to show up. And it made you wonder whether Harry was it, whether he was the one that got away, whether you should have fought harder for him to stay, whether he was as good as it was ever going to get.

The last time you had seen him was when he walked out on you, and as you walk into the church of your friend's wedding there should have been no surprise when you see Harry sitting on the groom's side of the church. They were mutual friends after all, you friends with the bride, him the groom. Though you expected him to be here, there is still a bit of shock that courses through you when you see his figure.  

Listening to your friend Eleanor talk as you enter the church, you look around in search of some empty seats when you see him. The black suit jacket fits a little loose on his frame, making it look like he picked it up last minute and got one that didn't quite fit right. But seeing his back causes flash backs of him walking out the door to run through your mind. Eleanors voice seems to fade into the background when you see him, only brought back to the present when she tugs lightly on your arm, directing you to a couple of empty seats.  

You attempt to push him from your mind, try to not glance over at him whenever you get the chance. From this angle you can only see his shoulder, and if the people in between you are aligned just right, you get a glance of his side profile. You can see that his hair is styled in the way that you always loved, his dark slightly curly hair flops down over his face covering his eyebrows a few strands poking into his eyes.  

Focusing on the wedding, watching your friend walk down the aisle, you manage to distract yourself enough to not think of him. Dressed in white, your friend looks beautiful and you have to hold back a few tears when they say their vowels. Standing to clap and cheer when the bride and groom kiss, you watch as they then walk back down the aisle hand in hand, beaming.  

Happiness is your overriding emotion, however you can’t help the pang of jealousy that swells within you, wishing that was you.  

Taking the glass of prosecco that is handed to you when you walk into the reception, you have to stop yourself from downing it all in one, instead taking one massive gulp. Eleanor and you had booked into a hotel close by, recommended by the bride and groom, so you had always planned to have a few drinks. The appearance of Harry only confirmed the fact that large quantities of alcohol were going to be consumed.  

“I heard that they have a tab behind the bar and when it’s gone it’s up to us to pay,” Eleanor says as she comes to stand beside you, both waiting behind a large group of people who are all trying to find their table for the dinner.  

“Are you trying to encourage me to get drunk?” You raise your eyebrows at her, taking another gulp of your drink.  

“Merely stating facts,” she replies. “What with the hotel, buying a new dress and having to get the happy couple a gift, I think we deserve a few free drinks.”

“You have a point,” you sigh, taking another gulp of your drink nearly finishing your glass as you shuffle ever closer to dining room door. “Why are weddings so expensive? I thought they were supposed to be pricey for bride and groom, not for their guests as well.”  

“All I can say is, the food better be good,” she says as you finally come to stand in front of the board detailing where everyone is to be sat. “Right, where are we?”  

Your eyes dart across the chart looking for your names.  

“I hope we haven’t been shoved near the loos,” you joke, eyes still searching.  

“Oh, come on, we’re better than that right?” Eleanor panics slightly at yours words.  

“I don’t know, you were just saying that you’re going to drink them clean of their alcohol,” you joke, laughing lightly when you look at the worry written on Eleanors face.  

“Oh shit,” she says, her face going from worry to shock, the colour almost draining from her face as she turns from the seating chart to you.  

You give a small humourless chuckle as you look at her, blood pumping so hard you can almost hear it in your ears.  

“Don’t tell me they’ve actually put us by the toilets,” you say.

“We’ve actually got pretty good seats,” she replies, though concern swims through her eyes. “Maybe we should get a top up before we sit down.”  

You cock your head to the side in question as you look at her. Turning to look over the chart, you are more desperate now to see your name. “Where are we?” You say at the same moment you read your name.  

Eleanor was right, you did have pretty good seats. A clear view of the head table where the bride and groom sat, prime seats for when the food would arrive, and easy access to get to the bar and eventually the dance floor. Yet all of this was monstrously over shadowed by the fact that opposite you sat the one person you were hoping to avoid, Harry.

“He’ll be so far away we won’t even notice he’s there,” Eleanor reasons as you continue to stare blankly at the name on the board.  

“I think I’d rather the toilet seats,” you say seriously, before you can catch yourself. “No, you know what? It’ll be fine. I had to see him at some point today, why not at dinner?” You rearrange your face, attempting to look like the whole situation wasn’t affecting you at all. “Another drink is a good idea though,” you say before gulping down the last few dregs in your glass.  

Eleanor follows suit, necking her own drink before dragging you over to the near empty bar, everyone else still on their first glass.  

“I mean why the hell would she sit you and your ex on the same table?” Eleanor turns to you after ordering two drinks, she almost seems angrier than you.  

“It hasn’t been that long, they probably couldn’t rearrange it all,” you tap your fingers on the bar, nerves building up within you at the thought of the meal ahead.  

“It’s been four months, that’s enough time to change some seats around,” Eleanor sighs as the bartender places two wines down.  

“Maybe not in wedding speak,” you don’t know why you are trying to defend the decision but you don’t want this evening to be ruined by your ex.  

“Anyway, it will be fine, I’ll be there and I’m sure everyone else at the table will be nice. We’ll still have a great time,” she hooks her arm with yours as she slowly makes her way into the dining room. Unsure why she is trying to convince you on the matter when you haven’t protested at all, you guess that’s just what good friends are for, knowing what to say even when you haven’t said anything.  

Letting her drag you to the seats your nerves build to a crescendo when you finally see the seats that are assigned to you. Flicking your eyes to the opposite side of the table to you see the distinctive curly hair, heart pounding in your chest as you remove your eyes from him, not wanting to be looking at him when you reach the table.  

“This is us,” Eleanor comes to a stop and places her bag on the ground before pulling the chair away from the table.  

Following suit, you keep your eyes down as you busy yourself with arranging your dress so it sits straight. The seat next to you is unoccupied, someone running late from the wedding you reason as your hand reaches for your glass to take another sip of your drink as you build up enough courage to look around the rest of your table. Eleanor is already talking to the cute guy sitting to her left, so you have nothing to distract you.  

Next to the empty seat sits a woman in her mid 30s her hair tied up in a neat bun. Next to her is a young child, no older than 10 who sits colouring in a predesigned image, concentration all over their face. Harry is next, and your heart involuntarily pangs in your chest when you look at him. You still don’t have a full front on view of him as he is turned talking to the person next to him, but you can now see the crisp white shirt he wears, that seems to fit better than the suit jacket, a slim blue tie around his neck. You can more clearly see his features now too, his round face, blue eyes seeming to contrast the rest of his dark features, his lips are a bright red and are pulled back showing off his straight white teeth as he laughs at something. You take all of this in in mere seconds, not wanting to linger on him in case he catches you.  

Moving around the table your heart plummets when you see who he is talking to, who is causing him to smile so brightly, who is causing the slight pink to creep up his neck. More beautiful than you could ever dream of being, the woman sits straight backed in an emerald strappy silk dress. Her features are delicate, yet you are sure that everyone would look at her if she were to enter a room. Her hair is dark and cascades down her back in perfectly formed curls.  

Your eyes skim the rest of the table, barely taking anyone else in as you turn to look at Eleanor who is already staring at you. Giving a tight closed lipped smile you don’t do a good job at trying to convince her you’re fine.  

Here you sit, single and dateless at a wedding, when your ex of four months sits at the same table, appearing to have completely forgotten you, bringing a date to a wedding he would surely know you would attend. As if reading your mind, Eleanors hand gently squeezes your leg under the table, almost transferring some of her strength to you.  

You would have hoped that Harry would have at least acknowledged your presence, would have at least said hi to you, or at worst given a gentle nod of recognition. But he instead seems to not even notice you are there.

Staring into your glass, you get lost in your own thoughts. Watching the liquid swirl around the edge of the glass to the rhythm of your hand movements. Beads of liquid roll down the edge of the glass when you let it rest.

“Got a lot of wine legs there, must be quality stuff.”

You jump at the sound of a male voice on your right, head whipping in the direction of the sound. Your eyes widen when you realise that the previously empty seat is now taken, and not just that but the man that occupies the seat is devastatingly handsome. He has pink plush lips that curve slightly at the edges to form a soft and welcoming smile, his cheeks seem to be squishable while also sculptured as if made from marble, he has dark brown hair that has been pushed away from his face exposing his forehead, and he has dark brown eyes that are welcoming. You watch as he takes off a dark jacket, using the opportunity to try and formulate a response to his opening statement. But as he drapes his jacket on the back of his chair you only ogle more. A black shirt adorns his chest, pulled not so tight that it looks small but so that you can see how muscular he is as well as showing off his broad shoulders.  

Your eyes dart back up to his when he turns back to look at you, not wanting him to know you had been checking him out.  

“I thought that was an old wife's tale,” you speak and then feel the need to clarify, as it seems an eternity since he last spoke. “The wine legs thing.”  

“Could be. My friend told me and 99% of his facts are incorrect,” he says, smile still on his face.  

“I also highly doubt Ben and Laura would have splashed the cash on anything expensive,” you refer to the bride and groom.  

“They do seem to have blown the budget on flowers,” he laughs, and you join in as you look around the room that has flowers covering most surfaces. Even the wooden beams on the ceiling had some sort of foliage hanging off it, making the place look beautiful. It must have cost a small fortune.  

“Don’t they know the way to a good wedding is through alcohol? They could have held this in a school hall and everyone would have been happy as long as there was free booze,” you say.  

“They obviously didn’t get the memo,” he replies and there's a moment pause before he says, “anyway, you must be Y/N.”  

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the fact he knows your name. Thoughts of whether you had met him before are cut off by him explaining.  

“The name cards,” his hand does a sweep of the table where names are placed to show where people sit.  

Heat rushes to your face as you realise. Trying to cover this up you glance down at the name card in front of him.

“Jin?” You look back up at him and see a wider smile on his face as he looks at you.  

“That’s me,” he beams and you can’t help but copy, his smile infectious. “So, are you here for the bride or groom?”  

“The bride,” you say. “We used to work together. What about you?”  

“Groom,” he nods. “He’s a friend from childhood. I actually don’t know many people here so I’m glad they’ve placed me next to someone fairly normal.”  

You shy at his words, turning to look at your glass, as your face continues to heat. “You might not be saying that by the time we get to dessert. You’ll be running to the dance floor just to get away from me,” you try and joke and are pleased when you hear an almost squeaky laugh leave his lips. Looking at him you can see it is genuine, his head leaning back slightly as his eyes close.  

“Honestly, maybe weird is better. Plus, I’ll be running to the dance floor anyway, I am a notoriously good dancer,” he says when he has calmed enough to talk.  

“Cha cha slide?” You ask.

He gives a small laugh mouth opening to reply but before any words leave his lips a hand is placed on your shoulder and you are gently moved backwards in your seat.  

“Finally decided to join the table,” Eleanor says as she leans over you so she can speak to Jin. You wonder whether they know each other and then remember that Eleanor is just that forward and friendly.

“I did hear rumours it was the best table in the place. But then I am sat here,” Jin gives a small shrug of his shoulders at the statement.

“I think that only applies to this half of the table,” Eleanor says loudly and you visibly cringe. “Anyway, me and Jordan were just placing bets on what food we’re going to be forced to eat,” she carries on, waving a hand towards the man sat beside her, presumably Jodan who gives a small wave.  

“Easy, isn’t it always a hog roast at these things,” you roll your eyes at her.  

“Wow, wow, wow,” Jin says dramatically. “Ben would never stoop that low. It will definitely be some sort of chicken.”  

“And just how well do you know Ben? Don’t tell me you’re cheating here and already know the answer,” Eleanor accuses, her finger coming up to point at him as if to better prove her point.

As they bicker and joke about what food is going to be served, you are suddenly aware of how this is the complete opposite to how you expected this meal to go. As soon as you had seen that Harry was sat on the same table as you, your blood had run cold and yet since Jin had arrived you weren’t even aware of his presence at the table. This thought is cut short when you take a glance at him and you can see he is scolding in your direction, the girl sitting by him seems to be unaware that his attention is no longer on her as she continues to talk at him.  

Heat rises to your face as you catch his eyes, if looks could kill you would surely be six foot under by now. Wishing you were strong enough to hold his gaze, you instead look down at your lap, fingers fiddle with the material of your dress.  

Mere minutes ago you had wanted him to acknowledge your existence, and now he was you couldn’t even hold his gaze. Though when you imaged him looking at you, it wasn’t with the hatred currently in his eyes. You wonder what right he had to look at you like that when he was the one that had completely ignored you when you arrived, and the one that had brought a date with him.

As you think this though you realise that maybe he thinks Jin is your date. Maybe the girl he is talking to isn’t his date and exactly what Jin is to you, just someone who happens to be sitting next to you at a wedding. Maybe you were the one being a hypocrite and you had judged him just as quickly as he was now judging you.

All thoughts are cut off when a plate is placed in front of you. Jumping slightly at its arrival.  

“Told you, roast chicken,” Jin says smugly looking down at the food.  

“I still think you cheated,” Eleanor replies.  

“Ask Ben if you have any doubts,” Jin points his fork at Eleanor while he chews on some broccoli.  

“No doubt you’ve sworn him into some sort of secrecy,” she scowls at him before taking a bite of her own food and turning to talk to Jordan.  

“I mean, I didn’t,” Jin mumbles with a pout and you give a small chuckle at how serious the discussion had become while you zoned out.

“Go on then, if you’re so good at all of this, what will their first dance be to?” You look at him with a smirk.  

“Ben does love the macarena,” Jin says and his face visibly lightens when he watches you laugh.  

“Now that would be some first dance,” you say through your laugh.  

“It would be the song I’d pick,” his voice is full of cheekiness.  

“I pity the girl,” you smile at him.

“Oh really,” his eyebrows raise almost in challenge. “I’ll have you know I’m quite the catch.”

“And yet I see no date,” you raise your eyebrows back at him.

“Everyone knows that weddings are the perfect place to meet people. It’s all the love, people can’t help but want to experience it themselves.”

“Desperation you mean,” you stab your fork into a potato. “Hoping to score a bridesmaid?”

“Not sure I would call it desperation,” his eyes are still on you as you continue to eat. “And none of the bridesmaids really caught my eye.”  

“Hum. Yellow was a bold choice for their dresses, even if it is pastel. I guess Laura didn’t want to risk being shown up,” you agree with him. “But, I bet when you speak to them their personalities will shine through,” your voice is thick with sarcasm and you watch as Jins face lights up at the joke.  

His mouth opens to reply but once again he is interrupted, this time by the groom standing up and someone tapping a spoon onto a glass. You swear you hear a small sigh leave Jins lips as the room falls silent for the speeches, but when you look at him a smile is still on his face as he looks towards his friend.  

The speeches threaten to make you spill some tears, especially when the bride's father starts to well up when giving his speech. By the time it’s all over you hardly get to speak to Jin as he is dragged into conversation with the woman on his right before the party portion of the evening starts.  

Everyone gathers around the dance floor when plates are finally cleared from the meal and as you had predicted Jin disappears between you leaving the table and going to the dance floor. You are unable to spot him as you look around the crowd and decide that he is probably doing as you predicted and seeking out a single bridesmaid. You concentrate on Laura and Ben dancing around the floor in each other's arms as they stare lovingly into each other eyes.

“Can I have this dance,” you hold out your hand and bow lowly to Eleanor as the DJ invites couples to join the bride and groom on the dance floor.  

Chuckling Eleanor places her hand in yours as you pull her onto the floor, putting your arms around her waist as hers fall around your neck like all the other couples. You and Eleanor had decided to be each other's dates to the wedding, both single. Though you are sure that Eleanor could easily have snapped up a date, you were grateful she offered that you go together.  

“Thanks for coming with me today,” you say as you sway around the dance floor.  

“Don’t be stupid, there’s no one I would have rather come with. Plus, if I had brought a date that cute guy I was sitting by wouldn’t have chatted me up,” she says, giving you a cheeky smirk.  

“Hey, you’re my date,” you mock offence. “Though if he asks nicely, maybe I’ll let him steal you for a dance or two.”

Eleanor’s face visibly lights up at your words though she quickly tries to hide it. “I’m sure that Jin will be asking to dance with you before long.”

“I’m not sure he was interested,” you scrunch up your face at her words.

“Well, you are obviously blind.”

“I think I saw him going off to chat up one of the bridesmaids,” you lie in the hopes it will be enough for her to drop the topic.  

“Oh really?” She would sound genuinely surprised, if not for the heavy sarcasm in her voice. “Because I think I see him stood watching you.”  

Your head almost snaps in the direction she is looking and sure enough Jin stands on the edge of the dance floor, fresh drink in hand as he watches you dance around the floor. Just as quickly as you look at him, you look away heat rising to your face.  

“He’s probably just thinking what a terrible dancer I am,” you half mumble.  

“Again, I’m not so sure,” cheekiness is now the overriding tone of Eleanors voice, which is mirrored by the big smile on her face. “If I’m not mistaken, I think he’s actually walking over to us now. Maybe he’s coming to tell you what a terrible dancer you are in person,” the sarcasm returns to her voice as you freeze in her arms.  

Your back had been swung in the direction of where Jin was stood so you cannot confirm what Eleanor is saying without obviously looking over your shoulder. But it doesn’t take long for her statement to be revealed as true as a tall figure comes to stand by your side.  

“Mind if I steal your partner?” The voice you recognised from earlier asks Eleanor and you watch as she nods, stepping away from you.  

Your eyes widen at her, silently pleading for her to stay, though you are unsure why.  

“But I want her back later,” she says as she walks off in search of another dance partner.  

Jin steps so he is now stood in front of you and you are surprised by how tall he is, his broad shoulders and frame only making him seem that much larger.  

“I hope you don’t mind,” he says as he looks down at you.

“Not at all,” you gulp down your nerves. “I was hoping to see these amazing dance moves anyway.”

Laughing he gently reaches out to place his hands on your waist, pulling you lightly so that you can more easily drape your arms around his neck.  

“I’d hate to disappoint,” he smirks down at you, and you have to look away from his gaze.  

A silence falls over the two of you as you gently sway to the music, Jin expertly guiding you around the room. You feel comfortable in his presence, but struggle to meet his eyes, instead choosing to look at his chest. This isn’t much better though as his black shirt has the top three buttons undone, causing a glimpse of his chest. You almost feel like a Victorian with how that small amount of skin gets you hot.  

“Black is a bold choice for a wedding,” you finally break the silence, looking up to see he is already looking down at you.  

“Do you not think it looks good?” He asks, though his face says he already knows your answer.  

“I guess it’s just a colour more aligned to a funeral,” you ignore his question.  

“Well, I am mourning the loss of one of my best friends. Now he’s married I will hardly see him anymore,” he says this with a wide smile on his face.

“Oh come on, you’re not one of those people, are you? You really believe married life is like a death sentence?”  

“I never said death sentence,” he is quick to correct you.  

“You said you were mourning the loss of your friend, that implies death,” you raise your eyebrows at him.  

“Alright, maybe that was a bit extreme,” he laughs. “I guess I’m not totally sold on the whole wedding thing. Like you said, why not just get loads of booze and throw it in a cheap hall somewhere. Do you really need all of this to tell everyone that you are madly in love?” He looks around the room to further his point. “I’d be happy just to go to the registry office and do it all in secret. Is that not more romantic?”

“Hiding your partner away from everyone? Romantic,” you tease. “But you’re not completely opposed to getting married?”  

“Hiding her away so that she can be all mine? I think romantic,” he shoots back. “But I guess I’d have to find the right person first,” his words come out deeper and smoother than previously, and again you have to break his eye contact.  

The song that was playing choices this moment to stop, the DJ mixing in a more up-tempo track. People all around you break from their swaying and start to dance with more enthusiasm, arms being thrown in the air. You remain in Jins arms, breaking a second before it comes awkward, you being the first to step away looking around the room as you do.  

“You should definitely get talking to those bridesmaids then. Maybe one of them is the one,” you try to make it sound sarcastic and like you don’t care, but it sounds anything but. “I’d hate to think I got in the way of anything,” you say, looking back at him to see a flicker of something cross his face. He opens his mouth to reply but for the third time that night you don’t let him get any words out. “I should probably go and find Eleanor anyway. I’d hate to think she’s all alone somewhere.”

Jin continues to stare at you, a now blank stare is on his face, making his emotions unreadable. He gives a small nod at your words.

“Thanks for the dance, it was nice,” you say lamely as you turn and walk away.  

Instead of hunting down Eleanor, like you had just said you were going to do, you head straight to the bar, happy when you find out drinks are still free. Standing, waiting for your drink, you think about the dance. Think about Jins hands on your waist, the feeling firm, yet safe. Think about the earthy and woody scent that was coming off of him. Think about seeing his face so close you could see all the muscles moving when his face contorted into a smile.  

A glass being placed down in front of you snaps you out of your thoughts, and you take a large gulp in the hopes that would also help to ease your mind. You are unsure why you had just bolted away from Jin as if it was a crime scene. He seemed like a nice guy, and to be honest at the moment a nice guy is exactly what you need. But the problem was that you were not what he needed. Currently still hung up on your ex, not in the best place mentally and just generally a mess, you didn’t want to lead him into anything just to leave him.  

And yet you can’t get him out of your head. You had only known him for the past few hours, only spoken to him for a portion of that time, but you feel yourself wanting to go back onto the dance floor and apologise, ask him to take you back in his arms and sway around the dance floor again. Maybe it was the fact that you hadn’t felt like this about anyone for ages that made you scared. Even when you were with Harry, towards the end, you didn’t feel this way about him. You had to admit that your relationship had started to lack the passion and desire it had at the start, but you had assumed that was normal after two years of being together. But that obviously wasn’t enough for Harry.  

You head is almost resting on your arms that lay on top of the bar when you hear a familiar voice. As if your thoughts had somehow summoned him.  

“Not with your date?” Harry’s words ring out and you tense at his words. Thoughts immediately flood your mind of how this is the opposite reaction you would have had a few months ago if you heard his voice.  

You turn slowly to look at Harry and see he looks somewhat more dishevelled than earlier. He has lost his tie and jacket, the top few buttons undone, and you note that while this was a turn on for Jin, you almost cringed at the look on Harry. His hair is also messier, a look that makes you think he has been running his hand through the curls all night, something you know he does when he’s stressed.  

“My date?” You question as you honestly have no idea who he is talking about. Annoyed at the fact that these are the first words he is speaking to you.

“The guy you were sat by at dinner?” He almost spits the words at you, and the action almost makes you smile. You’ve clearly gotten under his skin.  

“I could ask you the same thing,” you avoid answering his question, not wanting to give him any unnecessary details.  

“She’s gone to the toilet,” he waves a hand dismissively and your heart clenches at the confirmation he has brought a date with him.  

“Is it new?” You can’t help the curiosity, but curse at yourself for sounding like you care, which you do, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Harry is now the one that goes rigid at your words and gives a half mumble of “something like that,” that you catch. You turn and take another gulp of your drink, praying someone comes and saves you from this conversation.

“Listen,” Harry sighs, his body relaxing at the motion. “I didn’t come here to gloat or be mean or anything,” you have to bite the words could have fooled me back, instead remaining silent as you wait for him to continue. “I came here to say that I miss you.”

These are the last words that you expect to leave his lips. He was the one who had left you after all. He was the one that had said he had fallen out of love with you. He was the one that ended it and never called you again, left you with so many questions unanswered.

Instead of the effect that Harry must have hoped these words would cause, you feel almost sick when he says it. You feel like in the space of one wedding you have done a complete 180 in your feelings to the man currently stood in front of you.

But when you actually think about it, you had felt this way since he left you. If he had come to you before you still would have felt this hatred and sickness towards him. Because, honestly, you could never have gotten back with him after he had said that he had fallen out of love with you, however much you missed him. You would never been able to trust him again, always second guessing everything, always wondering when he was going to change his mind again and walk out the door.

The feelings you had felt towards him all this time, you now realised, was resentment. You resented that he was the one that left you and felt bitter at the fact that while you still loved him, he no longer loved you. And while you thought those feelings of love had stayed over the months, they had really morphed into something far uglier.  

It is only now as he stands so you can fully see him that you realise that you do not miss him, that you do not want him back and that you certainly do not love him. And it feels like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders.  

“You don’t seem like you miss me,” Harry says into the silence, realising that you are not going to be the one to break it. There is a sort of arrogance in his voice, as if he knows, or thinks, that he still has you.

“You are here with a date,” you have to remind him.

“I know. But Y/N, don’t you want to talk? I wanted to say that I regret -”

“No,” you cut him off, not wanting to hear any of the bullshit that spills out of his mouth. “No. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to hear you’re excuses or explanations or whatever the hell you are going to say. You left me, Harry. You fell out of love with me. And we are no longer together because of that so you have to deal with the consequences,” you turn and pick up your glass before looking at him.

Before you can walk away, he does a small side step so that he is stood in front of you, blocking your exit.  

“No listen to me,” he almost pleads, and it almost sounds good to hear it.  

“You have a date,” you remind him once again.

“Who I don’t care about.”

“I’m sure she will be thrilled to hear that.”

“I don’t care,” he almost screams the words, his arms flinging in the air as if to further his frustration. “I don’t care, ok?” He repeats softer. “I just care about you.”

You stare at him, looking into his eyes you try to read what's happening behind them, wishing you could see what he was thinking. And as the silence continues, you can see the arrogance return, as if he thinks he has you again. You wonder how you had never seen it in his eyes before.  

“Well, I don’t care,” you say and you can see the shock that comes into his eyes. He definitely wasn’t expecting that.  

“Y/N, come on. I’m sorry ok,” his pleading returns, and this time you just feel pity for him.

“You broke up with me Harry,” you remind him. “And so, I no longer have to stand here and listen to what you have to say.” Glass in hand you give him a final look before walking past him.

Heading back into where everyone is dancing you feel a mixture of emotions. Giddy at the fact that you had managed to keep your cool and say everything you wanted to say to Harry to his face, you would never have thought you’d be able to do that. But the sickness remains, confusion as to why Harry would come and say those words to you. He surely didn’t actually want you back? A selfishness must have come out from him seeing you sat with Jin, who he had assumed was your date. Was he really so petty to feel some sort of ownership over you, when he was sat with an actual date the other side of the table.  

And now you felt pity towards her. Did she know what Harry was saying about her behind her back? You kind of hoped it was nothing serious, you didn’t want him to break anyone the way he had broken you.

When you reach the edge of where everyone is dancing you have a quick glance behind you, seeing Harry in the same spot you left him, his date now at his side. Shaking your head at the scene, you push it from your mind and turn back in search of someone much better. When you spot her, you make your way over to Eleanor.  

“Where have you been?” Eleanor almost shouts when she sees you. “Good dance with Jin?” She wiggles her eyebrows and you roll your eyes.  

“You will never guess what happened,” you begin before going onto to retell the story of bumping into Harry and all the things he said to you.

“Well shit. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you,” she gives your arm a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s alright. It was actually good in a way. I think I can finally see who he is now and how I am so much better without him. It was probably the best thing to happen tonight,” you say and Eleanors eyes widen at your statement.  

“God that’s really saying something since you danced with Jin,” she says and you laugh.  

“He’s probably long gone, scared away by me running away from him,” you sigh as you look around the room, unable to spot his figure anywhere. “Anyway, I just want to drink and dance and enjoy the night and then go and collapse in a bed that I have paid an extortionate amount for.”  

“Amen,” Eleanor says raising her glass for you to cheers.  

And that is exactly what you do. You drink, you dance and you enjoy the evening, with little thought of Harry. The man who instead plagues your thoughts is Jin. You find yourself looking for him as you dance, when you go to get another drink and when someone taps you on the shoulder you hope it’s him. But you never spot him, not even a peak of the top of his head or the back of his shoulder. Even as you wave off the happy couple as they leave for their honeymoon, Jin is nowhere in sight. So you assume that he has done as you suggested and gone and found himself someone better.

Eleanor leans her arm on your shoulder before resting her head on it, watching the disappearing car.  

“Shall we go to the hotel then?” Eleanor says.  

You lean down so that your head can rest on hers. “Yeah,” you reply.  

The uber drops you off at the hotel and as you walk into the main room you can see a few other wedding guests chatting in the hall. What with the proximity to the reception and the fact it was recommended by the bride and groom, you aren’t surprise that the place is probably fully booked with wedding guests.  

And the hotel was cute. It was a cosy, higgledy-piggledy, countryside hotel that looked like it had almost grown from the ground with all the ivy covering the outside walls. All of this added up to mean it was on the expensive side of hotels, however with the wedding being in the middle of nowhere you didn’t have much choice, and Eleanor somehow convinced you that it was worth the cost.  

Walking down the hall towards the stairs that would take you to your rooms, you give a small smile at some of the people you recognised from the wedding, but almost stop in your tracks when you see him. It had probably been hours since you last saw Jin and you had almost forgotten about him with all the stuff that had happened between you dancing with him and where you stood now. But as you see him sat at the bar that is off from the hall, you wonder how he could have left your mind at all. Sat alone, staring into a glass of what looked like whiskey, you wonder if this was what his first view of you looked like.  

Noticing where you were looking, if the fact that you had come to a complete stop hadn’t been clue enough, Eleanor smiles at you. “You should go speak to him.”  

You have to tear your eyes off him to be able to look at Eleanor and can see sincerity on her face.

“I’m a big girl, I’m sure I can find our room on my own,” she teases when she sees your doubt.  

“I should apologise for basically running away from him earlier,” you give out the excuse, though one is not needed.  

She gives a satisfied nod, those words being all she needed to slowly turn and start walking in the direction you were previously headed. “If you don’t come back to our room tonight, I won’t worry. See you at breakfast,” she says with a wave over her shoulder.  

Heat rises to your face and you turn to make sure no one heard, or more importantly that Jin didn’t hear. But he sits continuing to stare at his glass, too far away to hear the comment.  

Before you can overthink it, you start walking towards him. Heat remains in your face as you do. He doesn’t notice your approach so you can fully take him in. His long legs are crossed as he sits on the bar stool and yet they still manage to easily touch the floor. He sits slightly hunched in the chair and his shoulders sag with an unseen weight. His hair is slightly more ruffled than earlier, the previous style not holding as he has obviously been running his hand through it. You take a deep breath when you reach the stool next to where he sits, he is still unaware of your presence.  

“Do wine legs still apply when the liquid isn’t wine?” You reference his opening comment to you.  

His head shoots up, eyes instantly meeting yours and you can see the clear surprise at seeing you here.  

“I saw you sitting here, I hope you don’t mind me interrupting,” you say as a lame explanation.  

“I usually enjoy staring at my drinks alone without interruption. But I’ll make an exception for you,” he jokes before giving you a wide smile.  

“Ah, an honour,” you take the seat next to his and the barman comes over and takes your drinks order.  

A silence falls over you and Jin as you wait for your drink, Jin going back to staring into his cup. As you stare at him, possible questions to break the silence run through your head, all as meaningless and irrelevant as the next, none of them what you really want to ask him. So as a drink is placed down in front of you, and as you turn to look at it you build the courage to ask.  

“What you doing here all alone?” You hope your voice comes out as light and trivial as you mean it to, and out of the corner of your eye you see Jin has turned to look at you.  

“I thought I made that clear,” his voice is an attempt to tease, but you can hear the sadness in it, or was it annoyance? “I enjoy staring at drinks.”  

“Ah,” you raise your eyebrows as if in understanding. “The classic post-wedding-stare-at-an-alcoholic-drink-alone. I know it well.”

“Well, you did seemed to know the wedding-reception-stare-at-a-wine-glass-as-you-swirl-it earlier in the night,” he shoots back.  

“I guess we may have something in common there then,” you raise your glass lowly towards him, before taking a mouthful.  

“I’ll make you a deal,” he says, grabbing your full attention. “I’ll tell you why I was staring into my glass, all alone. If you tell me why you were doing the same earlier.”

Not what you had expected him to say. And you weigh it in your mind. Was it worth telling him the truth to find out why he was sat alone? After a moments thought you realise it was.  

“My ex was sitting on our table,” you can’t look him in the eye as you say it, not wanting to see whatever emotion comes onto his face.  

He hums lowly before saying, “tough at a wedding.”  

“Yeah, I mean it happened 4 months ago, but it was the first time I’ve seen him since he left,” you admit.  

Jin doesn’t respond verbally to that, instead a hand is placed on your shoulder. Looking up, you finally see the emotion on his face. Where you had expected to see sorry or pity was instead some form of sympathy. While most people looked at you as if you are broken, as if you need to be fixed, Jin was looking at you with understanding, and in your eyes there was a big difference. You hadn’t liked telling people that you and Harry had broken up and as much as it was to do with admitting that you were no longer together, it was also due to peoples reactions. But here Jin sat, hand on your shoulder, but not in a patronising way, in a way that said he was there.  

“Anyway, it was nothing in the end,” you almost visibly brush off the words and, in the process, Jin’s hand drops and you instantly miss the feeling. “I had a good night,” you give him a small smile.  

“Yeah, it was good. Although, they definitely needed to put more money behind the bar,” he chuckles.  

“More money on booze, less on flowers,” you reference his comment from earlier in the night and Jins smile widens. “Come on then. Don’t think you’re going to get away with it,” you say and when Jin doesn’t immediately answer you carry on. “Why are you sat here all alone?”  

“I guess I was just hoping to attract over some lovely lady,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you and you laugh, but you can hear the return of the earlier sadness.  

“Seriously? Come on, I spilled my secret.”  

“Secret? I wasn’t aware it was that deep?”  

“It’s not,” you say. “But maybe I wouldn’t have divulged the information if I knew you were going to back out. You were the one that made the offer after all.”

“Alright, fairs fair,” he waved his hand before taking a massive gulp of his drink, practically finishing it off. A massive sigh leaves his lips before he carried on. “I was thinking of you.”

You freeze from shock. Unable to look away from Jin as he doesn’t meet your eyes, you can see red creeping up his neck, his eyes close lightly and it looks like he holds his breath for a second.  

“What?” You croak out.  

He lifts his head so he is looking straight forward, before twisting so he can look at you. His features are soft as he takes in your shocked face, his eyes darting around your face almost trying to read your thoughts.  

“I was thinking of you,” he repeats, though this time you can see his face, the almost embarrassment in his eyes. “I don’t know, I guess I just had a nice time talking and dancing with you and then you ran away and I wasn’t really sure what I had done wrong. But I guess now I can see why.”  

“I had a nice time dancing too,” you say and are surprised when your voice doesn’t crack with the shock still in your body.  

“You did?” Jin says with some doubt in his voice.

“Sorry I ditched you. I guess it all got a bit much and rather than act like a normal grown adult I ran,” you say.  

“You don’t have to apologise,” he says.  

“But I do,” you say. “If you think I was running away because of you, then I need to apologise.”

Jin give a small nod of recognition, but his face looks like he still feels the need to deny your apology. He bites back his words by taking a drink.  

“You know, we’ve met before,” the second statement he has said in the space of ten minutes that has shocked you. “You probably don’t remember, you were pretty drunk,” he says when he sees your expression.

“I did wonder why I’d never met you before, if you are supposedly Bens good friend,” you admit.  

Jin gives a small chuckle. “Well, we have met. At Ben birthday last year. Though, I turned up a bit late and by the time I got there it seemed like you had already had a lot to drink.”

Heat floods your face at the memory. You had had a lot to drink that night, partly to drown your sorrows after a big row with Harry. You honestly had no memory of Jin that night, you had hardly any memory of that night.

“Not my finest hour,” you say. “I hope I didn’t embarrass myself.”  

“I wasn’t sure whether to be happy when I found out I was sat by you because you were the life of the party, or worried you might get as drunk as that night and throw up all over me,” he teases and you give his arm a light punch.

“That was a one off,” you whine.  

“You were fine,” he laughs, and his words reassure you.

You give a small nod as a silence comes over you. Both of your stare at your drinks, a tension rises in the air and before it gets unbearable you break it.  

“I want to say sorry,” Jins head snaps to you at the words.

“You already apologised,” he says.  

“But I want to say it again,” you give a small smile. “I did really enjoy dancing with you. I don’t want you to think that I didn’t enjoy your company tonight.”

“My moves must not have impressed you as much as I had hoped. You did kind of bolt out of there.”

You give a small sigh, embarrassed by the whole ordeal.

“And I meant it when I said that none of the bridesmaids caught my eye,” he carries on.  

“I guess I just didn’t want you to be trapped with me all night,” you say.

His face scrunches in confusion. “And what would have been so bad about that?”

“I’m a bit of a mess, if that wasn’t clear. I didn’t want to drag you into all of it.”

“You don’t look like a mess to me,” he says as his eyes scan your body, and you open your mouth to clarify. “You look and sound perfectly put together to me.”

“You’d be surprised,” you give a humourless chuckle, but for once Jin remains serious.  

“I’m a big boy, you know. I can make my own decisions.”

Your eyes search his, hoping to find some sort of answer in them. The tension remains in the air, but it has shifted now.  

“Want to ditch the drinks?” His voice comes out thick and husky, matching the atmosphere.  

All you have to do is nod before he is on his feet and taking you hand in his. You are half dragged to the hall where you left Eleanor and Jin stops suddenly when you enter. Spinning around he pushes you so your back is pressed against the wall behind you and then his lips are on you. It all happens so quickly that you are caught off guard. It takes a second for your mind to kick into action and your lips to start moving, but when they do it feels like nothing you have ever felt before and you never want the feeling to stop.  

His lips are as soft as you imaged. Their fullness only adding to the feeling, when you bite down lightly on them you realise how firm they are. A small groan leaves Jins lips and he presses his body ever closer to you. You roll your hips lightly against his and another groan leaves his lips, this time it seems more pained and he pulls away.  

Panting gently, you look at each other. His lips have gone slightly redder from your light bites and it makes you want to reattach your lips again, but as you push yourself up, he pulls away. Before your heart can sink, he says, “my room or yours?”

Your eyes widen at his forwardness, but almost automatically you hear yourself saying, “yours.”

And just like that he grabs your hand, pulling you up the stairs, through the twists and turns of the hallways. Before you find yourself outside a door. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a key and expertly opens the door, if it had been you in this moment it may have taken a few more attempts as your hands shake in anticipation.  

His door opens and you hardly make it inside before your lips are attached again. Pushing the door shut behind him, Jins hands grasp for the zip of your dress, pulling it down so that your dress slips from your shoulders and is left in a puddle on the floor. Continuing your journey backwards in search of the bed, Jins hands now grasp for the clasp of your bra, managing to unclasp it as your legs hit the edge of the bed.  

Half lowered, half falling onto the bed, Jin stays standing between your legs, looking down at your near naked body. The scene is almost serene as you look up at him. Where there was a hungry and desire before, there is now calmness.

“You have far too many clothes on,” you break the silence.

Slowly Jins fingers work at the buttons of his shirt. Almost painstakingly undoing the buttons, working from the top down all you can do is lay watching. His eyes never break contact from yours, but as he undoes the final button and slips the material off his shoulders your eyes flicker to the bare skin.  

He doesn’t give you long to look before he is laying down on top of you. Lips touching every inch of skin they can get to as he makes his way up your body. Small noises of pleasure leave your lips as your body arches into his touch.  

“So beautiful,” he whispers into your neck.

Your hands go to his hair, pulling him slightly so that you can reattach your lips. Your hands then glid down his back, pushing his body closer so you can grind up into him. This time noises of pleasure escape his mouth.

When your hands finally meet his trousers, you pull away enough so you work at getting the item off. Jins lips never leave you as your frustration grows, first you can’t undo his belt, then his zipper gets stuck, but Jin seems oblivious simply working his way across your neck. You almost cheer when you manage to get his trousers off, and while Jin sits up so he get them fully off you ask, “condom?”  

He gives no verbal answer, instead he stands and makes his way to his bag. Turning around with a foil packet in hand. Using his teeth to tare it open, he pulls his boxers down and rolls the condom on. You groan at the sight and wiggle your pants off as he walks back towards you.

“So beautiful,” he repeats as he stands at the edge of the bed, looking down at you.

Lowering himself down, you feel like there’s a stiffness to the air, almost how it feels before lightning strikes. The anticipation builds up inside you as you feel Jin stoking himself in you folds.  

“Please,” you groan out when it all gets too much.  

You barely get the word out before he is pushing himself inside you. If the air felt like before a storm previously, now it feels like the storm is fully raging. Jin hardly gives you any time to adjust before he is rolling in and out of you. You barely know what you do with yourself, the pleasure overwhelming. Hands go from sheets, to his shoulders before finally resting on his back, pulling him as close to you as he can get. He pulls your legs so that they wrap around his middle, before his hands goes back to resting either side of your head.

His head goes to your neck, whispering unheard incantations there. His pace goes from soft and hard to fast and solid. Lifting his head, he looks into your eyes and you feel like you’ve never been so close to anyone before.

“Jesus Y/N,” he moans out.

Noises escape your mouth, but none of them class as words, hardly any sound human. Jins hand travels between your bodies and your pleasure is all consuming. Pushed over the edge, your head lulls back into the bed and you vision becomes blurry. Jin is quick to follow, rocking into you a few more times before he collapses onto you.  

Heavy breathing fills the room, and it takes a minute or two before Jin finally pulls out of you and rolls to your side. He doesn’t go far though, after disposing of the condom he pulls you into his side. He places a light kiss to the side of your head that rests on his chest.  

You can't help but run your fingers over his solid stomach as you lay there. Drawing random patterns on his smooth tan skin, you revel in how toned he is.

“Stay?” he asks.  

You snuggle closer into him as an answer.

His lips come to your temple. “I told you, weddings are the perfect place to pick people up,” his mumbles against your skin.  

Your hand smacks his chest lightly and he gives a fake groan of hurt.  

“Don’t make me regret staying,” you say, but make no attempt to move, if anything you move in closer.  

Wrapped up in the thick duvet you wake up slowly. Eyes thick with sleep, it feels like you’ve been in a deep sleep and something has slowly pulled you out of it. That something you realise is the man currently in the same room as you. Though he isn’t lay next to you, like he had been all night, instead you can his gentle footsteps around the room. As they approach your side of the bed and stop, you finally open your eyes and roll so that you can squint in his direction.

“Oh, hi,” his voice is soft and he is clearly surprised that you are awake. “Sorry if I woke you.”  

Your eyes have just about adjusted to the light of the room, so you are able to open them past a squint as you give him a warm smile. “You didn’t wake me,” even though he did, it was the kind of wake up you could get use to so you weren’t about to complain.  

“Well, I bought coffee,” he holds up the mug in his hand as evidence.  

A small hum of appreciation leaves your lips as you sit up, pulling the duvet with you. Your hands reach out to take the mug off Jin and as you take a sip the warmth fills your body. Jin walks back around the bed so that he can crawl back under the covers and you notice that he wears long plaid pyjamas. He looks warm and comfy and you kind of want to cuddle up to him and never leave.

“You went downstairs?” The questions seems obvious, but your brain works slower in the morning so you can’t think of anything more literate to say.  

“No, I actually went upstairs. Crazy that this place serves its coffee on the roof,” Jin teases.  

“You should alert health and safety,” you roll your eyes at him. “Do they serve breakfast up there too?”

“Ah, so that’s why you stayed,” you raise your eyebrows at him in question. “You’re just using me for collecting your coffee and breakfast,” he clarifies.  

“I didn’t request this,” you defend.

“Well in that case,” he reaches out to take the mug out of your hands but you pull it out of his reach.  

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it,” you give an exaggerated, over the top smile. “But some form of pastry would also not go unappreciated,” you continue to give your best pleading smile, eye lashes batting lightly.  

“Pastries do sound good,” Jin nods, though he makes no attempt to move from his position, which is now closer to you after he tried to grab your mug. “And what would I get if I go and get some?”  

“A pastry?” You mock.  

He hums as if seriously considering it. “I don’t think it’s worth it.”

“A kiss,” you say in a sickly-sweet voice. “On the cheek.”  

“A bit better,” he gives you a cheeky grin. “But I think I might still have to pass.”

“Why don’t you name it,” you give him the power. “I may not agree though,” you warn.

Jin places his hands on his chin, pretending to stroke a beard that isn’t there as he thinks. “How about a date?” It’s the first thing that he has said that morning with some seriousness.  

Eyes flicking between his you try and read what he is thinking before giving your answer. “OK,” you agree. “But they better be damn good pastries.”  

The wide smile returns to Jin faces, a few creases appearing around his eyes due to the wide beam. He leans closer into you so he can give you a small peck on the lips before he retreats. He doesn’t make it far though, simply sitting in an upright position, swivelling to place his mug on the bedside table you expect him to stand up but he simply turns back to face you, now with a plate in his hands. A plate full of pastries.  

You gawk at him. “You tricked me,” is all that comes out of your mouth.  

The triumphant smile stays on Jins lips as he picks up a pastry, then offers you the plate.  

“I didn’t. I had to come all the way over here,” he points to the spot he is sat, mere centimetres away from his early position, if that. “It was very tough. Especially this early. I definitely deserve a date after all that effort.”  

“I thought you were going to go downstairs,” you continue.  

“And I did. Just earlier,” he takes a bite and chews, but his eyes remain on you.

You follow suit, unable to form any words you shove a pastry in your mouth to avoid having to think of anything.

“Unhappy with the deal?” He asks.

You weren’t. You wanted to go on a date, but you were slightly unhappy, or maybe just shocked, at the way that he had coaxed you into it.  

“No,” you pout at him when you swallow your mouthful of food.  

He laughs at the expression on your face before pushing himself closer to you. Pastries abandoned somewhere on the bed, his arms come to wrap around you, face coming to yours.  

“I’ll take you somewhere really great, I promise,” he says, mouth mere millimetres from yours you can almost feel it move.  

“You better,” you say before closing the gap and placing your lips on his.  

[atlasshrugd]

Hi seeing as you seem to be the only sorta active britin blog I can find lol I wanted to ask you about some of your favourite moments for them, as I'm kinda new to the fandom whatevers around lol, and would like to hear peoples thoughts on them if you don't mind answering 😊

Hey there! Sorry I am answering so late, but WOW this is a big ask because there are SO many favorite moments.

So I have narrowed it down to my Top 5:

1. Prom (obviously)

Okay this is a no-brainer. This is literally the most romantic sequence in all of television history. I still have not found something more beautiful, moving, triumphant, loving, and groundbreaking than when Brian and Justin danced to 'Save the Last Dance for Me' at prom. Obviously barring the horrific events of what followed, this scene transcended all stereotypes and barriers and allowed us as the viewers to feel pure happiness and pride as queer people. I remember seeing it for the first time at 14 and feeling so unadulteratedly happy and validated. This was a scene of two gay people unapologetically showing the world that they did not give a shit what anyone thought of them. The only thing that mattered was this thing between them; this unspoken understanding, solace, love, and pride. I still moves me to this day whenever I watch it, no matter how many times I do.

And of course we must talk about the implications of Brian's character in this scene. Throughout season 1, he has been an emotionally stunted and cold individual who does not believe in love, relationships, or trying to make other people happy. Here, in the finale, we see Brian finally putting away all his ego bullshit ("I wouldn't be caught dead in a room full of 18 year olds"), and going out of his way to make someone he cares about happy. The fact that he even showed up at Justin's prom is a direct U-turn from the moral principles he has been reinforcing all season. And by dancing to a "ridiculously romantic" corny song, waltzing, and kissing Justin in front of everyone without giving a shit — that is pride. That is one of Brian's long-accustomed walls tumbling down.

"And don't forget whose taking you home and in whose arms you're gonna be..."

2. When they make love for the first time after the bashing

Now these scenes...how do I describe the sheer profundity? After Justin's bashing at prom, Brian is left in shambles. He blames himself for everything, and it is just further proof that Brian's love always causes further destruction. Justin has lost all memory of that night at prom, and this is one of the big tragedies. Justin had promised that he'd never forget it, and that it was the best night of his life. That proof of Brian's love that he had for so long been longing to experience — has disappeared as if it never happened. Now, Justin's confidence and surety of the world has been distorted. He is no longer sure of anything, including himself and Brian. He needs reassurance and things spelled out for him.

When Brian and Justin sleep together for the first time after the bashing, it is not like all the other times they had sex. This, in fact, is the first time they make love. Justin is telling Brian that he trusts him wholeheartedly, enough to allow him in his body again after his own agency had been ripped away from him. This is where Justin absolves Brian of his guilt. He takes the blood-stained scarf off his shoulders, lets it fall to the ground. He gives Brian the forgiveness that Brian cannot offer himself.

"Like the first time?" Brian asks, because it is the anniversary of their first meeting, but at the same time—it is nothing like the first time. Now, they are not strangers. They are more acquainted with each other than they have ever sought to be; know each other in such profound depths. They are forever linked by this thing they have both experienced, but it is not just that shared trauma. It is based off deep understanding and love. They have, somehow along the way, become more each other than themselves. They know that they have become irreplaceable and inseparable parts of each other. And Brian has been holding onto that guilt for so long that it has become rooted deeply within him. SO when Justin absolves him of it, Brian allows himself to truly feel for the first time since the bashing. He gives himself to Justin, in that moment, as Justin gives himself to Brian. It is a brilliant and tender scene of trust, devotion, acceptance, and absolution. Something they both needed to soothe their troubled souls, and a new basis for their relationship.

3. When Brian helps Justin walk down the street after the bashing

Again, this is Brian showing nurturing, care, patience, compassion, and selflessness to another person. Justin trusts him enough to rely on him, and Brian doesn't take this trust lightly. These are some of the sweetest scenes of the whole show, because this is when Brian is completely focused and devoted to Justin. He wants to help him, more than anything, to get better. And he accepts and takes up this role of carer, not because he has to, or because he is obligated or forced to. But because he will do anything to ensure that Justin will be okay, and that he gets the life he deserves.

Specifically, my favorite scene is when the song 'Grand pianos crash together, when my boy walks down the street...' is playing. Justin is walking through a crowd and Brian has his arms outstretched. When they come together, they hug deeply and easily. This scene is so simple and pure, so chaste, but it shows the true essence of their relationship, beyond all the facades and bells and whistles. At the heart of it, Brian and Justin care about each other more than they care about themselves. They have established a stable foundation of trust that they can rely on. And it also perfectly encapsulates just how far Brian has come once again. He is showing such selfless care and devotion to a boy in public daylight, kissing and hugging him and not wanting to let go of his hand. Season 1 Brian would have never even considered that. This just shows how much the events of the prom changed him, and shows how his desire for responsibility of another person has matured him. He had been forced to face his inner feelings, fears, and truths. Now, they are out in the open for the first time and Brian accepts this. This alone is a huge development.

Brian is also afraid to let go of Justin. When Justin says he can walk back himself and says 'Later,' Brian repeats it apprehensively as he holds Justin's hand until he can't anymore. Then, he watches Justin go, walking through the crowds. The look on his face is wistful, a little troubled. He hasn't wanted to face just how much he enjoys Justin's presence and how much happier and content he is when Justin is with him. He hasn't wanted to face just how afraid he is to lose Justin again. Their words of 'Later' are a direct mirror of their last words on prom night, just before Justin got bashed. Brian had watched Justin walk away, too. And a second later, he was gone.

4. Pride

This is probably one of my all-time favorite scenes in television ever. I have cried each time I've seen it. There is something so pure, essential, liberating, triumphant and tender about this scene, and the song that plays (Chiquitita by ABBA) certainly shows it. Firstly, Justin accepts Brian in his entirety and doesn't expect him to change. He knows how much Brian has been devoting to Justin in his recovery, and how strange that role is for Brian. Here, he tells Brian to 'go find a stud, ask him to dance,' — because he knows how much Brian has been sacrificing for him. This alone shows Justin's maturity and inner strength. He loves Brian, so he will not try to change him or shackle him. He wants Brian to be free to choose and live the way he wants, and that is what he fell in love with.

But when Justin shows this sacrifical and detached love for him, Brian realises that there is nothing he wants to do; no one he wants to be with more — than Justin. He is aware of the myriads of choices he has. But he chooses Justin. (Technically, for the first time, perhaps aside from prom. But even at prom, he had been running from something [turning 30]. Here, he chooses Justin without pressure for the first time.)

So, he follows him outside. He ask him "Hey, stud. Wanna dance?" Justin doesn't believe him at first, because he is not used to Brian choosing him by his own volition. He cannot imaging Brian passing up getting laid, especially after being celibate for the whole day. He also feels like a burden; like Justin's recovery has been inflicted on Brian, stopping him from living his life normally. Justin loves Brian enough to let him be free, but the biggest part? Brian loves Justin enough to choose him in that freedom.

So this marks another checkpoint in their relationship. Not only is there trust, understanding, and love — there is also desire. Sure, they have always desired each other. But this desire is not the physical kind or one born out of loneliness. This is desire for the other person as a whole. This is desiring another person's company because theirs is the only company you want. This is desiring to be with someone when there are so many other options. This is real desire — the kind that originates from the heart and not the flesh.

"I promise you won't forget this one." Brian is promising Justin that this dance will be theirs, just theirs. Not to stick it to anyone, to show anyone anything, to make some kind of point, or to make somebody happy. This dance is theirs, for the reason that Brian wants Justin to have this: this moment where Brian only wants Justin, where he dances with him simply because he wants to. And he wants Justin to have this memory, to overcome all the vague blurriness of their past. He wants this dance to be the one he remembers when he questions himself. And so they dance, and they sway, and they kiss, and they press their heads together, and the lights are bright and colored on Liberty Avenue, and everywhere people are free and joyful, and there is nothing to prove, no one to run from, nothing to hide. Their arms are wrapped around each other and the sound of 'You'll be dancing once again...and the pain will end...you will have no time for grieving...' tumbles through the air and all around them. 'But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.' Now: there is nothing to be afraid of, and everyday life is full of reasons to be alive. To be proud.

5. Their reunification

This is one of their main checkpoints. This scene is the moment they finally become equals. Justin had left Brian for the reason that Brian could not give him what he needed to be happy, which was: reassurance. After the bashing, Justin lost all sense of who he was. There was a huge gap in his memory, therefore a huge part of himself he could not claim. He had lost partial use of his dominant hand which took away the only thing that gave him solace; his drawing ability. He was no longer sure of anything and needed things spelled out for him. He needed to talk about it. 

But Brian was not willing to do that, because he himself was struggling with trauma from the incident that he did not want to face. Where his love language is in acts of service (letting Justin live with him, paying for his tuition, helping him recover) — Justin needed to hear the words. He needed verbal affirmation to prove that he wasn't crazy and just projecting his feelings onto Brian. He could no longer trust his own perception and interpretation of things whereas in the past he could read Brian's mixed signals easily without needing confirmation. This is the part Brian failed to understand. He was not willing to concede his identified notions of 'relationships' and 'love' — no matter how far he came. He had not accepted that his feelings for Justin were love, and that scared him. So he refused to compromise with Justin, believing that his actions were enough when they weren't. But all Justin needed was to be heard, and for someone to love him enough to give hime what he needed sometimes (which was, verbal and emotional affirmation).

So their relationship ended, and Justin thought he could get what he needed from Ethan, which proved to be another big lie. So at the end, Justin still cannot trust his own perception, but — he finally knows what he wants.

He comes to the realization that while Brian could not give him the words, he gave him honesty. He learned from Ethan that words without action had no meaning. So he prioritized what mattered more to him: hearing that Brian loved him? Or, knowing that Brian loved him. So he chose honesty.

And this is when they could get back together without that imbalance and insecurity.

"And you are never to play violin music in my presence again." This single line is the only thing Brian needed to say to indicate to Justin that he was hurt by Justin leaving. Brian has been putting up a front of indifference for their entire break up, only indulging in pain management in private. Justin leaving him irrefutably hurt him more than he could have ever anticipated. But he did not show it.

So, Justin smiles — a little nod of awareness — because that is all Brian needed to say. And he says, "I promise."

"And it's time...that we...grow old and so some shit..." plays in the background (Lover's Spit) as they start to undress each other, because they are now on the same playing field. They have no illusions, misunderstandings, and misinterpretations anymore. They are starting anew; a little older and a little wiser than before. Brian knows how painful it is to lose Justin. Justin knows how skewed his perception had been, because he had been so caught up in his isolation that he could not see the truth of Brian's actions.

But they both know at least one thing: that life is better together than apart.

Tbh I could go ON and write a dissertation about each of these individual scenes, but I hope this made sense and gave a little more insight on these scenes and characters. Thank you for the great question!

[sopxhiea]

Lush

Alfie Solomons X Reader

Summary: Gradually but surely, the wild girl becomes easier to tame by Alfie but all he really wants to do is to set her wrath free and to be the only one who gets to have her.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

"All it did was to turn me on."

“Everyone already thinks that we’re dating.”

Alfie was an unusual man. 

Not because of his status as the big bad boss or the fact that he always had his cane with him lately. It had nothing to do with his reputation or the countless illegal things he’d done, not even remotely related to the fact that he had killed men with his bare hands and would do it again in a heart beat if the occasion called for it. 

And certainly not because he still had you around.

The curtains were drawn, the space was unusually quiet for a weekday. No one dared to make a noise, except for the occasional footsteps and the shuffling. Some of the men were sitting closer to the window and their faces could be made out but you had no idea who was on the other side of the room, not that it mattered.

There would be the usual screaming, it was easy to spot it from miles away and you certainly looked forward to it.

It wasn’t fair, not really but it was never directed at you so you didn’t find it in yourself to care. Alfie would yell at the lads around every now and then, it had already been done earlier in the week but a boss had to do what a boss had to do and Alfie saw that as shouting at middle aged men so they’d do their jobs a little better. 

All it did was to turn you on.

There were things that were hard to explain: how you liked your tea with lots of sugar and why you knew how to stitch a wound back together were only some of them and this just added to the long list of things. It didn’t bother you, just created an uncomfortable itch on your skin that made you want to be as close to the man as possible.

But the gem was still on.

The rules were slightly changed now that he had given you employment and a house. It didn’t put you in the lower part, you still had the upper hand and would never lose that but there were facts to consider and one of them was that Alfie was a man of extreme power who also happened to be a gangster.

It was only sensible to act carefully around the distillery with all the strange men going around. Ollie was with you most of the time when you left the office to go get something, per Alfie’s orders to keep you safe all the time. You still had a blade on your leg and a revolver in your bag but in Alfie’s eyes, those weren’t the most dangerous things about you.

Alfie was a strange man.

He had taken care of the bastard for you, his cold body had been swimming in Thames for a while now. You had thanked him kindly, in proper fashion but he knew there was a catch. This time he got to have that catch.

He still hadn’t asked for his favor.

You had not been into his bed yet, although it had been awfully close once, but he seemed to be determined with something else. You didn’t quite know if it was an ulterior motive of sorts, to get ahead of you in the game and if it was, you’d have to grant his wish since you’d promised him.

Even though you still didn’t know what it was.

You watched the lads exit the room one by one and the screaming started pretty soon after that. Alfie was fuming but the day had been a normal one, although it was hard to tell with him. His moods had been shifting too quickly lately, he was angry one minute and horny the next and you never really knew what was coming.

You stood in front of the door when the screams subdued and you could hear his agitated groans while he walked towards his office. He realized you’d been waiting for him when he spotted you and watched your flushed cheeks offer him a gentle smile. He didn’t return it but it compelled him.

Was something wrong?

You wouldn’t put it that way. After months of toying with the man, you had realized that this was wearing you down, too. The game was fun and you still played it well but touch after touch, little kisses here and there had weakened you. Alfie was already ready to go whenever you’d ask for a kiss which showed his frustration and it only made you respect him more for waiting for your call on it.

But he was becoming very hard to resist.

You took pride in having a thicker coarse of patience when it came to things that made you frustrated in any way but there you were, trying to calm yourself down as he walked towards you. You gulped right before he stepped in front of you, he didn’t say anything at first but just looked at you for a clue as to what was bothering you.

Nothing was wrong, you told yourself in a row for fifteen times. Nothing was. So what if he was becoming too hard to resist? You still got to kiss him as much as you wanted and at first, you’d though that would subdue your need for him but it turned out that it was just the opposite, the more you kissed him, the hungrier you got.

But now was not the time to give in.

He furrowed his eyebrows, arms at his side as he looked down on you. Your cheeks were flushed more than usual, eyes deep with something he’d seen before but he wasn’t so quick to judge. You were deceiving in many ways and who knew what was making you feel this way.

Except that the bastard knew.

“What’s happened, pet?” he spoke, voice soft as opposed to how he had been behaving a minute ago. You gulped, too subtle for him to notice but your cheeks gave you away anyway.

He knew that this turned you on: the power he had, the way men averted his gaze and most of all, the dominance he possessed. He had seen you lick your lips one too many times, voice always breathy when he’d return from shouting at the lads. That was the only time he’d seen you grow almost a bit sloppy, needy for his touch but you had immense self control and he wouldn’t deny that.

You blinked, looking at him through angry eyes. He knew what it did to you and yet, he had the audacity to flaunt it in front of you like this. It was fair, you supposed, you had tortured him a good amount and it equaled things between the two of you.

“Nothing too important.” you spoke, not tearing your eyes away from his lips as he looked down at your small form.

You were a marvel to play with.

“Didn’t scare you with all the fuckin’ shoutin’, now, did I?” he spoke, poking the beast with every little word that came out of his mouth. He was confident, cocky almost and it made you smile.

You were still the one who controlled the ropes.

Who was he to think that he could win?

His hand cupped your chin and titled your head softly so that you were looking directly at him, craning your neck to see the smirk on his face. It would wipe off soon, you knew. You blinked once or twice, far too innocent for him to think that you had an ulterior motive and spoke, voice soft against his face.

“All it did was to turn me on, sir.” you spoke, saying ‘sir’ like it would open the gates of hell for him. 

It took him a minute. 

It was times like these when he came into his senses. Sure, he was a wealthy handsome man but you knew the game like the back of your hand. He felt his pants tighten almost immediately, his body entirely too reactive to any act that came from you at this point. A grunt came out of his throat after a while, one of extreme approval but it was still a work place.

He nodded, blinked and nodded some more as an attempt to calm himself down but you were too impatient. You shot him a knowing smirk and walked inside the office, knowing very well that he’d be watching your every move. He gulped before following you after a minute of just standing in the same position, unable to get himself to move.

You’d be the death of him and he knew.

His grunts and murmurs about ‘not being respected in his own work place’ filled your air as you waited for him to close the door.

-----

“What do you mean exactly?” your voice was angry at this point, no point in hiding the already evident emotion on your face.

The audacity Alfie had still surprised you to this day.

Your arms were crossed as you looked at his sitting form behind the desk, he wasn’t fazed, not in the slightest but simply observing you and it only made you more mad. Your cheeks were flushed, from anger this time and he thought you were simply a vision but your words cut him off again. Like venom from a pretty crystal.

“Are you going to answer or should I repeat myself again?” you said, not beating around the bush in the slightest.

“It’s just a fuckin’ business meeting, pet. Jus’ a bit too far than the usual fuckin’ place.” he spoke, nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Alfie, first off it’s in Birmingham.” you said, trying to level down with him so that whatever that came out of your mouth didn’t mean that he would lash out at someone else later. It wasn’t a pretty sight. “And why do you need me to come?” you spoke, purely out of confusion this time. 

What was he planning?

Sure, you played with fire but gangsters were a different kind of fire you were adamant on keeping away from. You had your dangerous man in front of you and one big gangster was enough, let alone two of them. You knew he had to make appearances here and there but this was out of the game, not something you had ever planned on doing.

“You scared, little bird?” he spoke, not joking in the slightest due to the look of uncertainty on your face. You gulped and nodded before speaking, voice a hushed whisper this time.

“These are not just any men.” you spoke while Alfie got up from his chair and walked from his desk to where you were standing, listening to you as you spoke with a look of adoration somewhere in his eyes. “I don’t want to die because I got stuck in between two gangsters in a pissing contest.” you spoke at last, knowing how these things went at this point.

“Nothing like that, eh?” he spoke, face closer to yours as he looked at your small form. He wasn’t blaming you, this was normal at the sight of something as dangerous.

But he’d protect you, he owed himself that.

You nodded at the words, searching his eyes for any sign of threat or underlying intention, there was nothing. This scary burly man who many feared had turned out to be a giant sweetheart and it scared and surprised you at every single turn. He was supposed to be a ruthless but all he had been to you was gentle.

It confused you to no end.

“What am I in this scenario, then?” you spoke, voice back to normal as you walked around the room with the swift sway of your hips.

The game was on.

“What would ya’ like to be, pet?” he spoke, hand waving through the air around as he looked at you. You shot him a small smile and he crossed his arms while standing in the same position.

“You’re the boss, aren’t you?” you spoke, answering his question with a more cunning one and it only made him chuckle deeply.

Your eyebrows raised slightly at the sound, far too used to the antics the two of you had but you were gradually becoming softer, easier on him and even forgot about the game of push and pull. You’d never lost a round, not yet but he was breaking down your walls, melting them one by one by the sweet torture of kindness.

He was not a regular man.

You’d thought he’d be a tough one to crack, pull a gun on you at some point and definitely offer you a lot of money to get you into bed: these were the things you’d expected from the Camden gangster but all he’d ask for were kisses and for you to be around. He had turned out to be generous, something you hadn’t seen in a while and it made your heart feel some type of way.

“You, yeah, you’ll be my fuckin’ secretary then.” he said, playing it safe but you turned around and spoke, confident as a minx as you looked into his eyes.

“Why not your girl?” you said, a smile on your lips and it took him by surprise.

He had to be careful so that he wouldn’t accidentally wound himself with the sight of you.

“My girl, eh?” he spoke, smiling but it didn’t reach his eyes. He was curious, wanted you to go further with your words.

“Your sweetheart, the woman you sleep with, your little bird..” you elaborated, treating him like the old man he was and it brought a smile to his lips, each little word that left your mouth shot straight through his heart. “...you know?”

Oh, he knew.

He wasn’t daft, or blind in any way. Ever since he had met you, it felt like a storm had hit him right in his heart. It wasn’t fair, he thought, that he was the one to succumb like this but he was willing to, if it meant that you’d be his. He had no intentions of taming you, no, just to know that you belonged to him at the end of each day. He wanted to be your home, the pair arms to hold you. 

And that wasn’t like him.

Wasn’t he a cruel gangster, one that had killed many with just his fists? Why did it matter now that his old heart wanted someone? It had been a very long time since he’d felt the longing for a soul, long before the war. The feeling was still gut wrenching. Too dense for him to swallow. 

“Why would ya’ want that?” he asked, eyes following you and he stopped at your features to watch for any sign of emotion.

Only mischief.

He was the one in the wrong for playing with you in the first place, the one to blame for how deep he was in the mud but he didn’t want to get out. You were siren for him, a calling of sorts and even if it meant that you’d ruin him beyond recognition, he didn’t care. He supposed he had never cared.

“Everyone already thinks we’re dating.” you spoke, amusement dancing in your eyes and it earned a smile from him.

“Yeah?” he asked, but he knew the answer all too well.

You weren’t officially his girl, certainly not behind closed doors but on the street, you wore his name like an armor. You weren’t between the walls of the school anymore and people talked, really talked, around here. For all of Camden knew, you were his girl and it would not take long before you were wed.

Although there were other things said about you, too.

You were not easily tamed, most still saw you around certain clubs each week but the whispers were loud. It didn’t bother you, people liked to talk and that was not something you had control over. But the things you’d heard made you snicker. About how it was the perfect match: you and Alfie. 

The wild girl and the ruthless gangster.

You smiled at him and nodded, almost too gently this time. Your words were audible as you spoke, voice still softer than what he was used to. “I’m sure you’ve heard.”

“Aye, I have.” he said in a heartbeat. He liked the chatter, most gossip was shit and usually untrue but people had so many scenarios of how it had happened that it made him smile.

For some, he had slept with you on your first date and couldn’t get enough. Some others thought that he had proposed on the first date, unable to resist your charm. Word had gotten around your absence in the boarding house which only made people think you were knocked up and about to get married.

“Which one is your favorite?” you said, finding this all too fun with the one person who knew what had actually gone down.

He smiled and watched you relax on the sofa after you sat down, hand tugging at his beard as he spoke.

“I heard one, yeah, I did where you were fuckin’ pregnant.” he spoke, amused at the words that were coming out of his mouth and it made you giggle, all of it. “And apparently we’re gettin’ fuckin’ married next week.” he said and you smiled at the words.

“So what do you say, hm?” you spoke, reminding him of your proposition of posing as his lover.

It was all too tempting.

But he wasn’t sure if he could just act that way, controlling himself around you had been hard enough without you acting like you were his girl. He looked at you for a while, almost measuring something before clearing his throat. You were still sitting on the sofa when he spoke.

“Alright.” he exhaled, a low smile on his lips while you looked at him with wide eyes.

“Alright?” you said, a little taken back by the fact that he’d agreed. Sure, you were the one who had the upper hand and he’d be a fool to say no but he was still the gangster in this equation, the one with the gun and the power.

“Why the fuck not, eh?” he said, more talking to himself than you. You let him go on, rambling on like he usually did while leaning against his desk.

You got up, slow enough for him to get a good look at you and walked towards the man. He really had to do something about the tightness of his pants, he noted while watching you. It was an innocent act from the outside but your eyes told him otherwise. Your voice was breathy, like how it would sound after he kissed you senseless.

“But you have to act the part, sir.” you spoke against his face, he was leaning against desk and almost sitting on it but somehow still taller than you.

You looked right into his eyes, not breaking eye contact as you licked your lips. His eyes followed your tongue, watched the way you wet your lips and it earned a gulp from him. You smiled afterwards, his eyes didn’t leave your lips. His hand found your waist, slowly caressing the soft skin over the silky material of your dress.

“I will.” he said, gently pulling you towards him by the waist. He was about to kiss you but you put your hand on his chest, stopping him.

“It’s just business.” you spoke, reminding him of where he stood in the game.

He was losing, badly so but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

It worried you.

The game was only fun if he played with you. So far, he had put up a good fight but he was getting careless about it. He let you win, easy and clean. You wanted the chase, the thrill but Alfie just seemed to want you. There were times he caught you off guard, he was still good at the game but it seemed as though he didn’t care anymore.

And a vision of you with him in the future struck you.

If he let you win this much, he was willing to be around as much as you let him.

“I kno’ that, you minx.” he spoke against your face before stealing a kiss from you. You let him, too distracted by your own thoughts.

Maybe you would sleep with him.

It only seemed fair. 

You took a few steps back, he let you go while keeping his eyes on you. You would tell him, he didn’t seem to be playing the game and it threw you off. You took a breath, looked at him and spoke with certainty.

“I’m going to leave now. Come by at 6 pm sharp.” you spoke, calculating and he knew what it meant.

He had done it, cracked the code.

It was your way of giving him a way in. It wasn’t surrender, the opposite. You held enough power to let him have you but the chase had you tired, frustrated almost and you needed some relief. Your own hands didn’t do the dreams justice and you knew, you just knew, he’d make it worth his own while.

You’d be waiting in your own home, ready for him to get you into bed with all you had. Everything had been a bit too much lately and you thought you deserved a treat, Alfie was the sweetest treat of them all afterwards. You looked at his smile, inviting and happy like a kid as he eyed the clock and prayed for the minutes to pass by faster.

You were not surrendering, you thought yourself.

This was not you losing, just giving him an in.

“If you’re late by a minute, Mr. Solomons, you don’t get to have me.”

He watched you leave with an expression he hadn’t seen before and looked at the clock the entire time while waiting for 6 pm to come around. There was a silly smile on his lips, one that he had not put on since the war.

He had won.

----

Tagging: @clairecrive  @parkbearum @sourirez  @vetseras @mollybegger-blog @babylooneytoonz @peakascum @fuseburner @r-rose08 @innerpaperexpertcloud @caffinated-tree @cathartichaoss  @ihavefandomsssss @thatchickwiththecamera @sugarcoated-lame @alainabooks143 @enrapturedbythemoon @a-southern-doctors-drawl  @houseofdupree @evangelinesolomons​  @kissmyoops a/n: This is taking a different turn but i’m not mad at it :) I’m getting a lil’ bit busy with school but i will keep them coming as fast as I can. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and do let me know what you thought of it!!

Happy Spring, dear ones <3

[river-bottom-nightmare]

The Nightwing Suit

There are some absolutely incredible artists out here on tumblr, and seeing their fanart makes me cry tears of joy. Dick Grayson, one of my personal favs, is always a wonderful contender for fanart. His innate grace and agility and flexibility translate beautifully on the artistic spectrum. Bottom line: I love all the Nightwing fanart. However, there is something I want to address with his suit. I’ve been an aerialist ever since I was 7 years old, and I’ve taken gymnastics since I was 3. Now, I specialize in Lyra, while Dick obviously specializes in Trapeze, but when it comes to costume, we’ve got many very important similarities.

DON’TS

When it comes to aerial, we want as much mobility and flexibility as possible. So here are some things that absolutely will not be on his suit.

1. Shoulder Pads. I will scream it from the rooftops if I have to. The Nightwing suit WILL NOT have shoulder pads!! Red Hood? Definitely. Red Robin? Those shoulder pads are important for bo staff strength and support. Robin? Damian probably doesn’t need them, but they won’t hurt. Nightwing? No way. To me, one of the most important parts of my body when practicing and performing are my shoulders. They pull me into hangs and holds, let me rotate myself around, and basically support the rest of my body. This is partially due to user preference: I prefer arm-based stunts and hangs rather than leg based. But it honestly doesn’t matter that much. Nightwing will absolutely need 100% use of his shoulders. Him being able to freely rotate them can be the difference between life and death with his style of fighting. Shoulder pads will just hamper that flexibility. I will admit that shoulder pads look badass, but in this one hero’s scenario? Shouldr pads are a no-go.

2. Sleek Arm Braces. Nightwing, while being well recognized as a solo hero, does often work with a team. And on a team, he isn’t the type to huff angrily and say he can do this by himself. Emotionally? Yes, of course. Physically, and in a fight? He takes all the help he can get, with absolutely no would to his pride. When performing his flips and tricks and such, the other partner will grab hold of him by usually his hands or his arms. I’m just going to straight up say: catching someone by their hands is a Bad Idea. You will not believe the speed we travel when we go through the air, and catching by the hands will lead to dislocations and pain. For a few stunts it’s okay, mainly for the visual aspect of a performance. But when it’s life and death combat? Hands are a last ditch effort if you can’t catch someone by the arms. Because that’s what really counts. The forearms. When Dick is fighting with someone, and that other person has the strength to catch him/throw him from a drop or a flip, they will catch him by the forearms. If Dick’s wearing sleek ‘n sexy arm braces, he’s going to slip right out of their grip. I prefer to keep my forearms bare, but in regards to protective armor, the fabric around the arms better have a grip.

3. Extra Fabric. This one is a given. However, I want to get into the specifics. When you’re in the air, momentum is your most powerful ally, and if there’s anything opposing or hindering that momentum, that spells trouble. Extra fabric can sometimes be good, such as around the legs. Not too much, obviously, but wearing loose or baggy pants while fighting with Nightwing’s fighting style works (as long as you can, you know, actually fight in them and not trip over the extra cloth). Around the middle? Nuh-uh, nope. Anything looping around your waist, hips, or rib cage is a liability if it’s not skin tight. The belt that Robin often wears is okay, as long as it’s wrapped pretty tight around him and doesn’t move. For the kind of stunts that Dick pulls off on a daily basis? I don’t think anything but a skintight bodysuit will help. For arms, extra fabric is ~okay~ but not preferable. And anything strapped to his back, as long as it’s securely in place, will actually help his momentum (so his escrima sticks or any other weapon/item you want to put in there is fine). Nothing around the neck, at ALL. That one issue in Batman where Dick wears a scarf is hot as hell, and sort of makes sense because they’re in the desert. But on missions, at the speed Nightwing fights and flies through the air, anything around his neck will choke him. This entire section definitely wasn’t an excuse to say you should just keep Dick in a skintight outfit, nope, not at all.

4. Spandex. While we’re on the subject of skintight outfits, I just want to point something out that isn’t necessarily important or anything. It’s just a general preference for me. I prefer costumes with a little weight on them. The adrenaline rush is intense for some of my more advanced stunts, and those are things that I bet Dick would consider basic. I prefer something with a little substance/weight/texture to it. Nothing too serious, and nothing too restricting, just something to keep me grounded and focused. We all know how much Dick likes being in the air, but I’m willing to bet he also needs a little extra touch to keep his head in the game. So if you’re designing a serious Nightwing suit, not for crack or fun headcanons or anything, I would steer clear from the spandex, gauze, and showy-light-gossamer fabrics. They do provide extra mobility and flexibility, but that’s because they’re one drop away from naked.

5. Joints. Okay this may seem a little contradictory based on the last point, but around the joints, especially hips and shoulders, the protective padding needs to ease up. It’s one of the hardest areas on the body to injure, after all, even for a professional. And second, I know I’m sounding like I’m repeating the obvious, but flexibility is of utmost importance. If the fabric doesn’t bend with Nightwing, then there’s no point. It can’t chafe, it can’t grind against itself, it can’t break. The material around major joints needs to be malleable.

Dos

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about what you can absolutely add to Nightwing’s costume to give it either a little pizzazz, or just your own personal touch.

1. Boots. Yes yes yes, boots are an absolute must! And it’s not just me thinking thigh-high boots are cool. Coming out of a big drop and other major stunts requires rolling on your back and then onto your feet. But Nightwing doesn’t fight with the one-hit-and-done style. (That’s more Jason’s thing. He plants himself like a tree and puts power behind a punch, kinda like Bruce, which is why boots-especially boot soles- are important for them.) Nightwing gets in a punch and flips away, then bounces back and gets in a kick and flips away, then bounces back and gets in another kick and flips away. You see where I’m going with this. Dick is constantly on the move, constantly on the verge of flipping back. The main way he does this is with his feet: landing lightly on the balls of his feet to absorb momentum before using that to hit back. Boots with fricion-specific soles are important, he cannot slide or skid. Also, ones that go higher up aren’t bad either: extra support is always welcome. As long as they don’t cover his knees and allow for ankle flexibility, they’re good to go. They may even help stop ankle dislocation. Anything you want to add to the boots? Go ahead. As long as it’s not gauzy ribbon or something too extra, or something that can easily get caught in something else, it’s good to go. In my performances, I like to cover my shins with something, it can range from simple high socks or performance boots to go with my costume. I particularly like Damian’s long lace up boots, especially in Super Sons. It’s a cute outfit, and it won’t hinder his fighting at all. As long as Dick double knots, he can wear those, and any other variants of boots.

2. Gloves. I’m not actually sure if Dick has ever been called “Fingerstripes” in canon, but I’ve seen it in fanon plenty of times. Regardless, it’s one of my favorite nicknames for him, and it does have a basis. The stripes on his gloves are an awesome artistic choice, and useful too. Assuming they have a different texture than the rest of his gloves, those fingerstripes could help with grip. Grip is one of the most important tools an aerialist can have. I have had grown men look at me with shock when they shake my hand because of my firm grip (and the calluses, ugh). I firmly believe that Dick Grayson has one of the strongest grips in the DC non-meta world, and I bet you he surpasses even a good amount of metas. Having a good, no-slip grip is essential, even if you’re just swinging from the surface for a second, or if the surface is another partner’s hand. Gloves, once again as long as they’re not too restricting, would be awesome with helping with that.

3. Wrist Braces. I said before that Dick can’t have arm braces because of the whole partner-grip thing. But with the amount of force and pressure Dick exerts on his hands on a daily basis, dislocations and sprains should be as common as a bruise. Hell, I’m sitting here typing this and my left wrist is sprained. Fanfic writers, here’s a helpful tip: you can write Dick with a sprained or dislocated or just a plain sore wrist anytime at all, and having him rub his hands with a grimace, rubbing lotion onto them, or doing wrist exercises in his free time is a go-to for if you need anything filler. Or, you know, it could even be part of the plot. Wrist braces help with this, they keep the joints in place and add a little extra stability to his movements. As long as they’re not interfering with wrist mobility, wrist braces are a very very good idea. When you think how long, think about the length of Peter Parker’s handmade web shooters. Long enough to be there, but not immediately noticeable. Also, make sure the material is something cloth, wrap, or gauze based. Anything too hard could scrape against the skin, cause cuts and bruises, and even cut off circulation. Unless it’s armor, it’s not comfortable or easy to do aerial maneuvers with.

4. Back Harness. To be honest, I have no idea what the official name for this piece of equipment even is. But the thing that holds Nightwing’s escrima sticks to his back. The thing that holds Deadpool’s katanas (in the movies, not the comics). The back-strap-harness thingy. That’s a go-for-it when it comes to costumes. Not only does it look badass and hot when it’s on your costume and you draw your weapons from it seamlessly like a boss, it’s practical and doesn’t interfere with your fighting at all. As I said, a majority of Nightwing’s moves rely on momentum. The back harness thingy won’t harm that at all. As long as it’s strapped to your back, unmoving and steady, it stays out of the way and may actually help you with your momentum. Drawing weapons from it is easy and seamless, and one of the quickest moves you can perfect, aside from drawing your weapon from thigh/calf holsters. But as I said before, Dick would probably stick to the back because, once again, momentum.

Okay this got much longer than I thought it would. But regardless, I hope this helps if you’re ever drawing or writing about the Nightwing suit and need specifics. Or hell, if you’re a cosplayer and need some information on how to make an accurate costume, here you go. Now I need to take a breather and chill, because while I considered myself a pretty recreational comic reader and not much of an analyzer, I had no idea how much I picked up about Dick’s individual fighting style and how that fits in with my own aerial experiences.

[jeonsblackgf-writes]

LIES WITHIN YOUR WORDS || 2 ||

summary: Sierra left, but she didn’t quite leave😂 (you’ll see)

pairing: basically miguel galindo x black!OC

genre: errrr pettiness? fluff, maybe angst

word count:

AN: DO NOT WORRY! I AM CURRENTLY WRITING A FIC WITH FLUFF WITH ANGEL THEN EZ😂

____________________________________________🖊

"I just don't understand why I have to go back there." Sierra huffed, not wanting to move since she was very much pregnant as hell. She didn't want to leave the comfort of her couch but Miguel was more at ease knowing she was with him at all times with her being so close to her due date. He didn't want anything to happen to her, but he understood where his wife was coming from when she said that she didn't want to go back to the clubhouse after what happened to her 4 years ago. The only two people she's kept up with was Letty and Chucky. They've visited her a few times, they came to the wedding, the baby shower, almost everything. They were the only two people she trusted when it came to the Mayans.

"Mi reina, I completely understand why you don't want to go back, but I can assure you that nothing will happen to you because while I conduct business with Bishop, Nestor will be by your side just as he has been all these years. You have nothing to worry about, just trust me." He reassured her. She sighed and nodded her head as he gave her a triumphant smile. "Besides, it'd be nice to see you be petty every once in a while."

"I'm not liable for anything that happens while you're in the Templo. You know how my mouth gets when I get riled up" She grumbled, slowly sitting up from the couch to slip on her slides. Miguel gave her a kiss on the cheek, and let her have her alone time until it was time to work again.  He absolutely knew how much of a hard ass she can get when she gets mad, he's been on the other side of that on several occasions.

Sierra was 100% sure that Miguel was bringing her out of spite because he liked to brag and that's just the type of man he was. He took pride in the fact that he finally found love after Emily since he found out Cristobal wasn't his. He was heartbroken, yeah, but Sierra was there for him when nobody else was, and she was there for him when she told him about the deal that EZ had made with the feds. Of course, she felt like a bad friend, but there was so much betrayal being thrown around inside the Mayans, she didn't care anymore. Now here she is, 4 years later, married and pregnant by the one man that Angel and EZ had hated more than anything.

She had came to peace with herself and what happened to her a long ass time ago. She didn't want to harbour any hate for a man that didn't even deserve her time of the day. She stopped posting on social media because for some reason it had always encouraged him to call her, even while she was engaged to Miguel. She had also known, that Miguel was a completely different breed when it came to loyalty, it was like taking care of her needs was always his first priority and she used to feel so overwhelmed with how much love she had been receiving, but she had gotten used to it.

"It's time to go mi corazon," Miguel announced, walking back into the living room with Nestor behind him. She gave the two men a confused look as she watched Miguel carry a bag. He gave her a smile and handed it to her. She smiled as she looked inside the bag to see that it was filled with all her favourite snacks and drinks since he knew she liked to eat throughout the day. Not wanting to waste any time, she pulled out a bag of hot cheetos and ripped the bag open before popping a handful in her mouth.

Miguel grabbed her free hand and lead her to the car where the driver was waiting. He opened the door for her, placing a hand on her back as she got in. After she got comfortable, he closed the door and walked to the other side before settling himself beside her. Out of instinct, Sierra crossed her legs over her husbands, and scooted closer to him. He smiled and began to rub her thighs as the car started to move, Nestor sitting in the front. Miguel rolled up the partition from his side of the car, and began rubbing her thighs higher and higher, making her look at him suspiciously.

"The same shit your doing now is the reason why I'm pregnant." She grumbled, trying to push his hand away from he only grabbed it and laced it with his other hand as he slowly pulled her panties off with one hand and began to rub her clit slowly in small circles. She sighed and leaned her head back as she tried not to make too much noise because the car definitely wasn't sound proof.

"You know I can never get enough of you querida, no matter how pregnant you are." He mumbled, leaning over to place small kisses on her neck and chest. Sierra sighed in content and leaned back on the seat with her sundress hiked up to her belly, making Miguel smile. Maybe a small quickie wouldn't hurt.

"Miguel just hurry up because you got me horny knowing how sensitive my hormones are." She complained, trying to unbuckle his slack but he slapped her hand away, and held her legs up by the back of her knees.

"Relax honey, it'll be a while before we get there anyway." He stated before eating his wife out like it was her last meal, not giving her a chance to respond properly since she was too busy trying not to moan as she ran her hands through his hair.

Miguel moaned as he felt her drip onto his tongue before pushing her dress up past her. breast so he could have something soft to hold onto. Lately, he had been having sex with her and eating her out more than usual. She tasted sweeter and her pushy was always extremely wet during sex. He let go of her trembling legs, and snuggly placed them on his shoulder so that she would be more comfortable.

He circled his lips around her clit before sucking harshly, receiving a loud moan from her. "Holy fuck! Shit..."

Sierra looked down to her husband over her belly to see him already staring at her with wide eyes as he used both hands to spread her pushy lips as he stiffened his tongue and proceeded tongue fuck her deeper, making her thud down onto the seat and let out another sob as she felt herself coming closer and closer to cumming.

Her mouth fell into a silent scream as she felt her orgasm crash down upon her. Miguel did his best to keep her still as he watched her essence spurt out of her, watching as her legs continued to shake from the huge orgasm. Miguel glanced outside of the moving car for a split second before rushing to pull his slacks down. 

"We'll be there in 5, so lets make this quick mi reina," He mumbled, kissing his wife on the lips before leaning back up to thrust into her. Sierra gasped and grabbed her husbands hand as he quickly plowed into her as he tried to get her to finish as she chased his own climax. Miguel tried his best not to moan loud because he knew Nestor would give him shit so he stuck with deep breaths and small grunts. Sierra bit onto her lip as she watched her husband thrust harshly into her.

"You gonna let them know who you belong to amor?" Miguel asked, moving his hand to rub his wife's clit as she came around him. She sporadically and rapidly nodded her head as she tried to push him away but he grabbed both her hands and placed them above her her as he continued his consistent thrusting, now getting to his orgasm as he gave her one more thrust, spilling himself inside her. (I promise I write better smut than this lol.)

"Miguel, we're here." Nestor called from the front. Miguel could hear the sound of the front seat opening before he and Sierra put their clothes on. She straightened herself out, fixing her hair while Miguel pulled up his slacks and buckled his pants back. 

It had just dawned on her about what she was about to walk into. Sierra sighed, not wanting to see anyone's face again, not after what happened but she knew she really had no choice seeing as she willingly got into the car with her husband. 

Miguel noticed her distress, and comforted his wife, "Hey, if you don't want to come in it's your decision."

Sierra smiled at him and shook her head, "No, I want to. Let's go."

The couple made it out of the car, checking their surrounds before a loud voice caught her attention. Miguel whispered to Nestor about keeping a watch on her, the man nodding his head.

"SIERRA! GIRL HEY!" Letty ran up to the pregnant woman and engulfed her in a huge hug, being mindful of her belly. Miguel smiled at the interaction and stated that he was going inside for his meeting with Bishop, to which Sierra smiled and nodded her head before kissing his lips as a temporary goodbye. 

"You're glowing! Miguel really got you out here living your best life." She complimented, looking at her friend. Sierra laughed and rubbed her belly out of instinct. 

"Girl, he is but don't tell him I said that shit. His ego already big as hell." She joked, earning a laugh from the younger girl in front of her. 

"You wanna head inside?" Letty asked after a small moment of silence. Sierra hesitantly smiled and nodded her head. Letty noticed the hesitance.

"If it makes you feel any better, Angel's been a shit show ever since you left. Adelita was pregnant and he thought it was his but turns out it wasn't. So karma's a bitch I guess." Letty explained as the two of them walked to the doors of the clubhouse. Sierra gave a small hum at the new information. She had always told Angel that Adelita was suspect but he clearly was too deep in her pussy to see that until it was too late. 

"I'm married to a good ass man and we got a kid on the way, I could really care less." She stated, walking past Letty to get inside with Nestor following closely behind since she was burning up. It was like a record scratch from those dramatically funny ass movies and suddenly all eyes were on her while some where on her belly. 

Of course they were doing the same banter just like the time Angel got caught only his little Adelita wasn't here. Such a shame. She turned to Nestor with a smile on her face. 

"Could you get me something to drink?" She asked quietly. Nestor gave her a friendly smile and walked to the bar to ask for some water, returning it back to Sierra as she thanked him and took a big gulp from him. She tried her hardest to ignore the stares but it was getting irritating at this point. 

"Are yall gone keep staring or is somebody gone speak?" She asked loudly, scanning the room, and of course the first one to walk up was Angel. Looking past him, Sierra locked eyes with a girl with shoulder length hair, making her squint her eyes at her before the girl broke contact with her and turned around.

"Who knocked you up?" He asked, pointing to her belly before glancing at Nestor who was standing behind him. She smiled at him.

"Not your hoe ass, that's for sure." She replied, pretending to pick at her nails as if she were bored with the conversation already. 

"Mi reina seriously, did you let Miguel knock you up?" Angel asked, hoping to hear a no, but from the smile on her face he knew it was the opposite. Sad to say, he had thought about coming to see  her all the way up until this point, but she clearly was busy with someone else. 

"I'll tell you this. I married the same man who got his heart broken by the bitch your brother constantly fucked. Crazy how their baby wasn't his but EZ's isn't it?  Kinda pathetic if you ask me, taking Miguel's sloppy seconds...so weird." She spoke, every ounce of venom on her voice. She had time to be petty today.

"Did you come here to insult us? If you did you can fucking lea--"

"How's Adelita? Y'know with you cheating on me with her and all one would've thought that you guys would be a big happy family with her being pregnant. Oh wait, they poor baby isn't even yours. So not only did you cheat, you allowed a hoe to run game on you. Crazy." She chuckled, shaking her head at him. Angel knew he should say something, but how could he when everything she's saying is true. As far as Nestor, the only thing he could really do was try not to laugh, since he was told not to start anything unless he felt like someone was physically trying to attack his boss's wife and unborn child. 

"Seriously Sierra, we get that we fucked you over but chill out." Gilly spoke from the other side of the room. Sierra looked at him and sighed. 

"Gilly, if you knew how much dirt I had on you and every person in this room you would shut the fuck up and keep stuffing your fat ass face." Sierra ranted. Where the fuck is Miguel?

"Uhm excuse me but who are you? Angel why are you letting her walk all over you?" One of Vickey's girls asked, standing up to get beside Angel. 

"You do know I can put a price on your head and get you knocked off right? Matter fact lemme just..." She trailed off, pulling out her phone to text Miguel but Nestor grabbed the phone from her hand before she could. One phone call and the entire building will be burned to the damn ground with everyone in it. 

"He just saved your life. Next time you wanna try somebody, try a bitch that ain't me." She hissed, standing up just in time to see her husband walking out of the templo with Bishop, who could clearly feel the tension in the room. Miguel smiled and walked over to his wife as she welcomed him with a hug. 

"She wasn't too much trouble was she?" Miguel asked Nestor, who handed her back her phone. 

"Other than the fact that she just tried to get one of Vickey's girls dead, no, she's been an angel as always." Nestor laughed, stepping back from the two of them.

"Why the fuck did you marry her into this shit? You're too dangerous for her." Angel fussed, scowling at Miguel who turned around with an amused look on his face.

"Angel seriously shut the fuck up. You just don't like the fact that I'm married to the one man everybody in this bitch is afraid of because if he's too dangerous for me then you were as well and yet I STAYED with you and you see where that got me. It took you five years to propose to me while it took him one and a half, and we got married 6 moths later. Like my momma always said, a man knows when he ready to settle down, and you weren't ready and that's okay, but don't try to talk about what the fuck I got going on when you clearly got homegirl in the back over there scared to even say shit with her weak ass but I'm not surprised, you always had to fuck weak bitches because you could never handle a real ass bitch like me. Have a nice life dickface." She ranted, grabbing her husband's hand who was shocked at the confrontation. Any other time Miguel would be the first to speak on something like that but hearing his wife do it for him just made his heart swell with pride. 

"You handled that better than I would have baby, I'm proud of you." He told her as the two of them got into the car. Sierra smiled and leaned into her husbands side as he pulled her closer and kissed her head. 

"Okay now take me home and give me bath." She demanded, causing the other man to throw his head back in laughter.

[sophiashortcake]

— 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 🍰

“I GUESS I’M JUST A PLAY DATE TO YOU.”

previous ❀ next ❀ series masterlist

𝟐𝟐. kei shouldn’t be allowed to drink either: the spinoff

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: kicked out of her home with no place to go, y/n is forced to move into her family friend’s home, who coincidentally is also the family of tsukishima kei, the boy who denied her confession.

You were already driving Kei crazy and you hadn’t even left your room yet.

You should have left thirty minute ago, but you were still locked in your room supposedly doing your makeup. He could hear your pacing through the wall, so he definitely knew you weren’t still getting ready. You were purposefully avoiding him, but it’s not like you both weren’t doing that anyway. He regretted doing a favor to Kiyoko by driving you to the party. (He had a sneaking suspicion she could have driven you, but she wanted you two to start talking to each other already).

Getting fed up with waiting, he yelled through the door.

“Y/N, are you ready?”

“Uh- Yeah! Just give me a second!”

He sighed in relief, going back to his phone.

Your door slowly creaked open as you emerged from your bedroom.

Kei definitely should have had Kiyoko drive you instead.

He didn’t mean to stare, but it was damn hard to when you looked like that. He didn’t know if he wanted to curse God out or thank him right now for the dress you were wearing. How the hell was he supposed to be in a car with you when he found you, to put it bluntly, hot as fuck?

“Let’s go,” he stated, turning to walk down the stairs.

He hoped you didn’t notice the blush on his cheeks.

To make matters worse, you had been silent the entire car ride, averting your gaze anywhere but him. You couldn’t even look at him, did you really hate him that much?

“Did Yamaguchi ever mention what his plan was?” You asked, eyes still fixed on the buildings rolling through the window.

“No, he said he would handle it.”

“O-Oh, okay.”

What else was he supposed to say? The real topic hung above your heads, but he refused to talk about it as acknowledging it would finally make him realize you were leaving, leaving him. But he knew it would be easier if he could at least brace himself for what was to come.

“So when are you moving out?” He asked, almost wincing as the words moving out left him.

“The end of next week most likely.”

He didn’t realize the time you had left was going to be cut so short. If he had known, maybe he would’ve watched more movies with you in your room, stayed out later when you snuck out for food at 3am, maybe he even would’ve found the right time to tell you he loved you. He would’ve done so much more with you if he knew.

The rest of the car ride was silent, as Kei wished he hadn’t taken the time you were with him for granted.

Kei could already tell the party was going to be a headache the moment he walked in. Terushima had truly outdone himself this time, the party easily could have been mistaken for a full-scale frat party instead of a regular high school party. He guessed MiyagiTea was to thank for that, their promotion had gotten the party to where it was currently.

“Y/N!” A voice called, averting your attention away.

Bokuto emerged from the crowd, with Kuroo, Yamaguchi, and Akaashi in tow. He immediately picked you up into one of his famous spine-crushing hugs, you giggled in response, a bright smile plastered on your face.

He ignored the way jealousy brewed in his stomach despite knowing that you and Bokuto were purely platonic and that Bokuto was more than aware of his feelings for you, and would never try anything. But still, he couldn’t help but be green with envy, wishing you were the one smiling at him like that.

“Nice to see you too, Bo,” You giggled as he let you down.

“And here I thought I’d be the hottest one at this party,” Kuroo sighed melodramatically, “unfortunately, Y/N beat me at my own game.”

“Yes, Y/N does look very nice tonight,” Akaashi chuckled, greeting you with a side hug.

While you were preoccupied hugging Akaashi, Kuroo quipped an eyebrow at him. Kei realized, the motherfucker was purposefully trying to make him jealous.

“You’ll always be the hottest one in my book, Kuroo,” you quipped, punching his shoulder. He grinned brightly, but Kei knew the smile was smug pride, knowing that his little plan to get him jealous was working.

“Please don’t make Kuroo’s ego any bigger than it already is,” Akaashi sighed. Kei was thankful somebody finally put Kuroo in his place (even if they were friends) if it weren’t for Akaashi, Kei probably would have lost it on Kuroo already.

“Tsukki, you can at least pretend you’re enjoying yourself,” Yamaguchi commented.

“I don’t like parties,” he deadpanned. No, more like I don’t like how you’re flirting with Y/N.

“Well, do you like Y/N’s dress?” Bokuto slyly whispered in his ear. If you weren’t staring sheepishly at him, he would’ve strangled Bokuto right then and there.

He thought for a second, about to make his usual sarcastic comment, but the dress you were wearing was living in his head, rent free. His mouth ran dry, and he couldn’t think of anything to say but the truth.

“Yeah, she looks pretty.”

(He thought you looked even better than pretty, but he would’ve killed himself on the spot if he truly voiced what he thought.)

The group fell quiet, all eyes plastered on him as he tried his best to remain calm, as if he hadn’t just complimented you infront of his entire group of friends.

“I’m gonna go find Oikawa and Iwaizumi!” You chirped, breaking the silence. Before anyone could reply, you hurried away as fast as you could on your heels.

“Oh my god, she hates me,” he groaned, burying his face in his hands.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you be nice to somebody, like ever,” Kuroo commented, still stunned at his compliment.

“Much less call somebody pretty,” Akaashi added.

“He really is whipped!” Bokuto cackled, smacking Kei on the back. Kei cringed, hoping nobody heard Bokuto, but it was Bokuto, so it was more than likely.

“I don’t think she hates you Tsukki,” Yamaguchi nervously replying. (Little did Kei know, Yamaguchi was tearing himself apart inside keeping his promise to you.)

“I called her pretty and she ran away,” he grumbled, “I think that’s reason enough to think she doesn’t like me back.”

“You, my friend, need a drink,” Kuroo said, before dragging him off to the kitchen.

The rest of the night, Kei noticed how you dodged and avoided him. You conveniently had to leave the room whenever he walked in, you made an effort to talk to everybody besides him, hell, even his friends got in a proper conversation with you before he could. The alcohol was affecting his emotions more than he would care to admit. Kei was losing hope, the realization you’d never be his settling in much deeper than he thought it would. He wished you were his and much as he was yours.

“Yams, it’s almost 1am and you still haven’t found MiyagiTea, what’s your plan exactly?” Kuroo grumbled, flopped on a nearby couch.

With you heavy on his drunken mind, he forgot the true reason for this party. Despite it being so late, the party was still raging, showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.

“I was hoping I would catch them slipping when some drama happened, but nothing,” he fumed. “There’s been 4 fights, 3 breakups, and Terushima even streaked across the lawn to lure them out! They still haven’t shown themselves.”

“Maybe we should give up,” Akaashi sighed, slumping down on the couch with Kuroo.

“No! We can’t just give up! This stupid tea account is what’s stopping Y/N and Tsukki from being together!” Bokuto cried. Kei took a mental note that you and Bokuto were both crying drunks.

“I hate to break it to you, but the reason we’re not together is because she hates me, and I don’t blame her,” he sighed. However, Kei was also a sad drunk it seemed.

“Tsukki, have you tried talking to her?” Yamaguchi asked, as if the solution was obvious. Kei scoffed in response.

“What do I even say? I love you, I’m sorry I’m such an asshole, please love me? It’s pathetic,” he spat bitterly.

“I hate to break up this little feelings sesh, but what the hell is going on in the living room?” Kuroo questioned, drawing attention to the yelling spouting from the other room.

The group stumbled out of the nearby room and into the living room, where the music had stopped and in the center of attention was you and Oikawa. A crowd had swarmed around you, hushed whispers filling the air.

Were you crying?

“Get the fuck away from me!” You spat, holding yourself as to shield yourself from Oikawa.

“Y/N, I swear I can explain-”

“No! I don’t want to fucking hear it!” You retorted.

Akaashi tapped somebody on the shoulder, “what’s happening?”

“Oikawa Tooru is MiyagiTea!”

Kei’s world stopped.

Oikawa was MiyagiTea.

He leaked all the information about you two.

He purposefully hurt you.

All Kei could see was red, every cell on his body was on fire. He shoved past the crowd, not caring who he pushed. Maybe it was the alcohol fueling the flames in his stomach, but all he could focus on was the fact Oikawa had fucking hurt you. You were crying because of him and if that didn’t make Kei go ballistic, nothing else could.

Kei stormed up to Oikawa and punched him across the face.

“Kei!” You shrieked.

All the noises around him drowned out, as he could only hear the blood rushing in his ears as he grabbed Oikawa by the collar and shoved him against a wall.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Kei could practically feel the venom dripping out his voice, wanting nothing more than to make Oikawa regret ever making you cry, but your grip on shirt made him snap out of his rage.

“Kei, stop!” You cried.

Your touch suddenly made him forget his rage. His muscles eased under your fingertips as he let go of Oikawa, who shamefully backed away from you two. He turned to you, your face making his stomach drop.

You looked scared. You were scared of him.

Iwaizumi pushed through the crowd, as well as Kiyoko.

“Iwa, did you know?” You asked, your voice cracking.

“No! God no, I had no idea- I would never-” Iwaizumi began before sighing to stop himself, “I’m going to take Oikawa, he shouldn’t be here.”

“Y/N, let’s go,” Kiyoko whispered, taking your arm. You nodded, wiping your mascara stained eyes.

“Y/N, wait-” Kei called, reaching out to stop you. But Yamaguchi grabbed him, reeling him back.

“You’ve done enough, Tsukishima,” Kiyoko hissed before taking you away.

Terushima emerged from the crowd, grimacing at the state of the party.

“Everybody, there’s nothing to see here!” He announced, “Go back to uh, partying or whatever!”

People awkwardly began to murmur, going back to the party, the music started up again, the atmosphere of the party slowly returning to normal.

“I- I have to see her-” Kei stuttered, the drunken adrenaline wearing off and realizing what he had done.

“Tsukki, she needs to be alone right now,” Akaashi murmured, helping him sit down on a nearby couch. Kei buried his face in his hands, he had fucked up, again.

“How about we get you home?” Yamaguchi asked, rubbing his back.

The boys piled Kei into the car, and drove him home. The alcohol, exhaustion from the party, and the quiet drive home should have been enough to lull him asleep, but the horrified expression you wore plagued his mind on an endless loop.

He wanted to blame the alcohol, but he knew it wasn’t an excuse. Like you said, he would always hurt.

And for the first time in awhile, Tsukishima Kei started crying.

𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭: terushima did everything in his power that night to lure out @/miyagitea. such things included, streaking across the lawn naked, doing two keg stands, and bodyslamming the pool table (in which it broke in half).

𝐚/𝐧: uhhh... sorry?

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