#but also like the thing with words is that we sometimes perceive them differently?
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Things people secretly find attractive about you
This reading is about the hidden thoughts of people, about what they secretly find attractive about you. This is entirely subjective, some of these can seem questionable or hard to understand but the human psyche is complex, the root of attraction can lie in unexpected places.
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐
About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)
ONE
Some of the people who find you attractive might have a saviour mentality and a serious personality, they gravitate towards someone who they think is in trouble, sad about life or is a little impractical. I'm not saying that you have these traits, but those people seem to pick up some of your behaviours as signs of these traits.
Some people perceive you as outspoken, you have no trouble saying what's on your mind, your words are direct and to the point, they carry force in them. This can seem aggressive to them. But this is not the kind of being attracted to something strong but more like being attracted to the hidden weakness behind that strong exterior. They think that behind your assertive demeanour is someone insecure, someone who hasn't found their footing in the world yet. They are attracted to that thought, the thought that you're trying to put up a front, trying to be brave. This makes them curious and want to see the insecurities that you're hiding, and to do what? They would want to guide you, they think you need someone to act as a teacher to you, someone you can look up to, and they want to be that person.
Your voice is also attractive to some ears, your choice of words is extensive and have a poetic touch to it. Or you don't talk much and some people find that attractive, they feel that you leave space for others to talk and express and you're not judgmental about it. Some will like having deep philosophical discussions with you. You also have different and unique hobbies and whenever you talk about them, you seem so animated and excited, an intense passion can be felt, and that makes people gravitate towards you like moth to flame.
Some people also feel that you can be quite naive or impractical sometimes, they find this endearing, like seeing someone being protected from the harsh reality of this world. They might project a part of themselves on you. Some of them could have experienced a difficult childhood that didn't give much space for them to be carefree or feel protected. So they look at you and see these traits that remind them of a distant longing for a better childhood.
The idea of being in a relationship with you will seem easy and natural. It's easy to imagine themselves taking care of you and having your attention to themselves. Your attention and affection are elusive and people want to catch a hold of these. Some will want to quickly jump in a connection with you, it would get intense very fast and burn quickly, attraction at first sight is very likely, this is not just about romantic attraction but also includes platonic attraction.
TWO
I think people would immediately feel a sense of power coming from you, much like how our skin warming up when we are around a fire. This kind of powerful energy is dynamic, all-encompassing, intense, generous and bountiful. This attraction that people have towards you is not that secretive, some might feel reluctant to show it or talk about it openly because they feel respectful towards you, they can feel a little intimidated and will just silently watch you, occasionally drop a few compliments when they are feeling brave enough. You know how sometimes people see someone so amazing and awesome but keep their distance and not express appreciation for them, for fear of stating the obvious, they would think that this person probably gets a lot of compliments everyday already so they won't be bothered with them? Some people are like that towards you.
Some people will quietly admire your daring and sometimes reckless spirit, the word daredevil comes to mind, with it comes the attitude of an adventurer. You are so brave and explosive, always ready to explore new horizons, always know how to have fun. Timid and quiet people might secretly find these traits so attractive about you but also feel that you are a little dangerous or too forceful for them. It's not physical violence but it's the speed of you doing things, the energy you put in every action, they feel like they can't quite keep up with that. But it's sexy to them. It's intense and it can bring both order and chaos to wherever you go. This energy is like electricity, it can evoke wild reactions in people.
You smile and laugh a lot? People find your smile and the sound of your laughter attractive, it's warm and contagious. You don't just laugh a lot, you also make people laugh a lot, they like your humour, it's carefree, jovial, sometimes it comes as exaggerated boasting, sometimes it's ridiculous, sometimes it's so humble. It shows a healthy ego with enough boundaries and respect. They can see your humbleness as a sign of strength, you're so confident in yourself and so strong that you allow yourself to be soft and be a fool to elevate people's spirits.
Others will be secretly attracted to your intelligence and wisdom. You seem like someone whom they can look up to and learn from. Younger people really like you, they see you as a role model, someone who knows their own path and is dedicated to it. Some will assume you're really successful and have it all. They wonder if you have an inner calling, a spiritual belief that guides your life, because you seem to abide to a certain rules, some strict regimes and they're curious about it.
THREE
The word "wholesome" just immediately came to my mind. You have a very stable aura that makes people think you have your life all figured out. They might even think that your life is so different from them, so trouble-free, peaceful or exciting, anything but similar to theirs. But that doesn't alienate you from people, they actually like this about you. Like how cat videos restore faith in the world for some people. When they see your life, they get inspired to strive to do good with their life.
Your energy is both fast and slow, steady but active. You have no trouble standing your ground, putting down your foot. You can be very cautious and deliberate when investing in something, whether with your energy, your time, your resources, your emotions. But when you see the chance, the most effective path opening, you don't hesitate to take the action, almost like you have an angel or a wise counsellor behind your back who will give you encouragement to go forward. You are not a reckless gambler but a wise one.
Some people feel very safe and secure when they are around you, you feel like a teddy bear, a shelter to them. Because you are generous when you've decided that someone is worthy of your effort. You don't do things half-heartedly, your determination and devotion are very attractive in people's eyes. This can also mean that some people are quite dependent on you, emotionally, and they hate to admit it, I sense that some of them are quite proud and independent, so the notion that they're dependent on someone does not sit well with them.
You also have an amicable energy, people can sense that you won't get angry easily, you don't take out your ego and wave it at their faces. You talk only when it's necessary and don't demand attention. You seem like a humble person who doesn't complain when things get hard and just focus on solving the problem without expecting applause and praises. People who have a more dominant and fiery personality might find this attractive, as opposites attract. Some can view this as you can be ordered and are obedient, which boosts their ego a lot.
While some people wonder, if you truly are that humble or you're just good at hiding your desires and drives, they might think that you have something to hide, you're not comfortable showing your true self and just go along with what others deem good and nice. Would there be another person who is wild, ambitious and fierce behind your gentle image? Some might want to poke, to push you to see a more aggressive reaction from you. Another kind of people can view this energy as you being detached and aloof, like you don't have the time or energy to care. They secretly find this "unavailability" attractive, it shows you have standards and act accordingly to your own rules and set of beliefs. You seem to elicit a wide variety of opinions from people. If all of them were to have a meeting and voice their thoughts about you, it would make a long list. But they all will have to agree that you are unshakable from your resolution once you set your eyes on a goal.
FOUR
This group is a little similar to the previous group, both have strong earth energy with a hidden element. But your group is more youthful, the energy, at first glance, is softer and more playful. The similarity of the two groups is that people perceive you to be in alignment with your soul's desire. You seem to be living a full life. People look at you and feel the liveliness, the joy of living. Like a child beginning to step out to the world, who hasn't been disillusioned by the ugliness of reality yet. People secretly think you are naive and innocent, a little erratic or unpredictable, but you're not lost, you know where you are going, with a purpose, like a ship heading towards the lighthouse. You make people feel like they should act benevolent to you, because you deserve that treatment. To the people who already have children, you sometimes remind them of their own child, subconsciously. They would want to protect you and see you bloom and prosper.
You have an oblivious attitude towards worldly achievements that people secretly wish they can adopt it themselves. You focus on your self development but you don't put too much weight into being conventionally successful like having a good career, earning lots of money, being famous, almost like you're tired of that. Maybe you're well-known to a certainly extent in a community and some people can be a little envious of that, they may wonder how can you garner attention so easily like that, even when you don't do much, aren't active or just keep to yourself, but fame still finds you.
Your appearance shows that you're taking good care of yourself. You have a neat and simple style that people like. It suits your perceived manner, mild and stable. You notice little details and create a pleasant atmosphere and environment around you. Some people who work with you find these traits really attractive, they could develop a quiet crush for you.
You could have some small obsessions that people who are observant enough will notice. They intuitively sense that you are trying to establish a certain order in your life, a certain routine to balance out the inner emotional turmoil. It's like a storm is raging outside so you try to focus on organising the house to feel safe and distract yourself from the storm. This will attract people, some people are just really attracted to emotional depth and complexity. The more contradicting a person act, hinting a hidden landscape underneath, the more they are attracted.
You can be quite serious when it come to learning, this is where your determination shows itself the most. Teaching you is a delight, but can also come with heavy pressure, you don't want superficial knowledge, you want to go to the depth of things, analysing then committing the information into your memory. This, in turn, can also make you an excellent teacher, but you can be a little stern, surprisingly. You can seem young, but in some areas, you are so serious and committed, you seem like a wise old soul.
FIVE
I pulled only 3 Tarot cards for the previous groups, but your group demanded another one, apparently so many people have so many different opinions about you.
Your energy seems so red and fiery, like a burning fire. There are lots of moths flocking to your flame. They know they would "die", but they just can't help it. I can see that you have a lot of admirers, the majority of them are secret admirers though. There's something about your energy that makes people turn inward and become a lot more quiet and introverted than they normally are. They're contented to just keep a distance and admire you from a far. Have you ever see the process of an artist making their artwork? They are so focused in their own world, they emit an intense aura that keep the audience quiet and holding their breath, the people around them don't dare to disturb that creative process. Some people feel like that with you. You have a creative energy that can touch people, it's both very vulnerable but also strong, something that just is, without external shielding or masking.
People view you as someone who loves fearlessly, you have a reverence for love that borders on a religious feeling. It makes them question themselves, how can a human live so confidently like that, can they live like that too? is their life has a different meaning that they haven't thought of before? You are an inspiration to people, your flame is contagious, it spreads wherever it goes.
Those that are brave enough to approach you will like to talk and debate with you, you have a way to show your views clearly without eclipsing others. They admire your courage to defend your worldview and advocate for good courses. You might have a knack for rallying people, persuading people. People can easily be swept along your passionate energy.
Some believe that you have what it takes to be successful in this world. You have the talents, you have the will, and luck seems to follow you with each step you take. The phrase "Fortune favours the bold" can't be anymore apt than this. You have a balanced feminine and masculine energy that can attract people of different genders. To the world, when you need to accomplish something, you have no problem with exerting will power and strategies, to those close to you, you also hold a nurturing space for them. Some might perceive you as a good parental figure. Some will automatically assume that you're successful and rich, or you have someone backing you up. I will be honest, they're attracted to your abundance, the more lack they feel, the more attracted they are to you.
SIX
I wouldn't say you are shy or quiet, but you're reserved and just want to mind your own business. Your energy feels a little awkward and some people can notice that. Again, it's not exactly because of shyness, but more like a reluctance to come out of your own world. You might be a home-body or someone who prefer their private space a lot. If you can, you just want to stay in one place and live quietly, contentedly, but alas, you have to go out and interact with the world, and I do see some life circumstances that would force you to be out, to be more visible to the world. If you are a leader or someone with authority in the workplace, you will be a reluctant leader, but a good one nevertheless. This makes you seem more down to earth and relatable to many people.
You're resistant to disturbances and chaos. You want simple things, things that are essential for a good and tranquil life. A fresh meal, a walk on the beach, tea time with friends maybe enough to make you happy and feel fulfilled, also a heavy pocket full of money to prepare for rainy days. You're risk adverse, that's why you're always well prepared, stable and can shoulder lots of burdens. People can't help but feel peaceful and safe around you, they feel protected. That is, if they managed to get in your inner circle. You're selective of whom you interact and associate with. People like this pickiness of yours, it makes them feel privileged to be selected. You're picky but you're not stingy or haughty, everyone can still see that you're friendly and open enough.
As much as you always try to stay out of chaos, chaos seems to like you and follow you around. Some bizarre and unexpected events might happen that are totally out of your control. You life is somehow attached to invisible strings that pull and lead you to some pretty interesting experiences. Usually these experiences can bring positive changes into your life, if you're open to them. Those who witness these events will find them oddly fascinating. Magic seems to be real around you. You may have a strong manifesting power, whether you're conscious of them or not. You can literally create your reality through your power of imagination and words. So be mindful of what you are thinking and imagining.
#pick a card#pick a pile#tarotblr#crystal reading#lithomancy#tarot reading#divination#tarot community#tarot#witchblr#witchcraft#witch community#tarot witch#spirituality#astrology#astro community#astro#astrology readings#astroblr#crystals#future spouse#love reading#occult#pick a stone
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Have you already met your potential future spouse?
In this reading, we will attempt to know whether you met a person that has the highest potential of being your spouse and get details that will help you identify them. Now, because a person has the potential of being your spouse doesn’t mean that they will 100% be. As humans, we always have free will and our energies are frequently changing so even if someone has the potential of being your spouse you may end up going your own way for different reasons. The theme for this reading will be BIGBANG songs.
Group 1 💥
Ace of pentacles, 8 of swords, King of wands, Queen of cups, White Numen, The Star
As we have a majority of upright cards and positive cards, the answer is a YES. Your meeting with this person may be relatively recent. You and this person are very different from one another, which sometimes may generate tensions and misunderstandings between the two of you. As of now, I am getting that there isn't much going on with this person, as you both are focused on your own obligations and needs. You don't necessarily hold any grudges toward each other it's just that your connection with each other isn't your priority at this moment in time. If you may have been close to this person in a recent past, things have cooled down a little. I am getting a message that you could have met this person because of your work or their work and/or through social media. This is someone that is likely to live at a significant distance from you. There are two people represented here which I will call person A and person B. You may resonate with both descriptions or one more than the other. I will let you figure out what your energy is so that you can now who this person is.
Person A is represented by the King of wands. A is very driven and quite stubborn. They are known in life as someone that is always looking at the future and keeping themselves busy. They like to be challenged and are quite competitive. They can also be passionate and charismatic. A appears as an extrovert in most people's eyes and someone quite succesful. They tend to be bold in public and show the exemple. While A is looking at the future, they make sure that they don't turn a blind eye on their past and they used it as a source of inspiration to become a better person. A is wise and a natural born leader and may have an occupation that puts them in a position of authority quite often. They are independant and creative, they always find the words to motivate and inspire others, and have this image of someone that never backs down, never gives up. A is mostly driven by their gut, however they are not without intuition and can sometimes rely on it to make a decision. They come off as very masculine. They can be quite flirty and sociable. Most people tend to like them because of their natural charm.
Person B is represented by the Queen of cups. They are highly intuitive and sensitive, compassionate, empathetic. They are mostly driven by their heart. A is most known as someone that is generous and kind, a good listener and advisor. Most people would tell you that A is adorable and that they have a soothing presence that immediately makes them feel at home. They come off as very feminine compared to A. B wears their heart on their sleeve. Emotion is their element. They excel at expressing and understanding them and may often times help others figure out their own. B is likely to have a position that allows them to guide and nuture people. They are also quite the romantic. When they love someone, they love them wholeheartedly. It takes a lot for them to despise someone. They are very genuine and sometimes naive. They have a doe personality and are perceived as an introvert by most people. Even if they take most decisions from an emotional standpoint, they are able to use the power of their mind to swiftly navigate through shallow waters. B can be quite persuasive when they want to and tends to see through people, which may set A off. When I was writing this paragraph, I kept confusing B and A, which tells me that both of them happen to mirrori each other a lot, especially when in contact with each other. If A and B were complete opposites at first, upon meeting, it feels like their personality and energies merged.
With the combination of White Numen and the Star, I'm getting a message of your meeting being divinely orchestrated, if that is something you believe in. But other than that, you may just both feel like meeting each other happened at the perfect timing. Both of you are very faithful and spiritual but again there are slight differences. One may be more of the "I create my destiny" type and the other may be the "I don't chase I attract" type. Because the White Numen depicts a bull charging ahead whereas the Star depicts a feminine character sitting by a body of water. Both cards are looking in different directions which again gives me the impression that your paths are currently taking different turns. You may be in separation with this person at the moment but both of you are connected through your spirituality, your trust in yourself and each other. It's like you both have this inner knowing that you'll meet again later on but for now you have other matters to focus on. In terms of zodiac signs I am getting Leo, Taurus, Scorpio, Aquarius. So major fixed sign energy. Which could also be confirming the fact nothing much is going on in the 3D currently. One of you may have eye sight issues. One of you might be French or likes France. I was also picking up on Asian countries. I am also getting the message that in the 5D things are aligning between the two of you because they were out of balance before. This alignment is being monitored by your respective guides. Which may result in either one or both of you to feel a bit weird, wishy washy or like you're not completely fine but not okay either. You may be having mood swings or periods of time where you feel super motivated and others where you're just not feeling it.
Group 2 ✨
Knight of swords, Empress, The Star, Black Numen, page of pentacles, Queen of wands
As the majority of the cards are upright and positive ones, the answer is likely to be a yes. However, looking at the cards I got the feeling of a "not yet". So maybe you're about to meet this person. I'm getting the message that you are aware of this person in the 5D. You are already picking up on their energy and getting closer to them. Your meeting may be delayed by the fact that one of you is ahead of the other on their journey. Like maybe you've done your healing but this person still has a long way to go, or vice versa.
I pick up on two contrasted energies which I will attempt to describe. Maybe you will resonate with one and the other might be your person's energy. So one person is doing very well financially and living their best life. This person is living their dream life. They worked really hard to be where they are now and they intend to protect what they've earned. They are very confident, have a lot of faith in themselves and in the Universe. They just stand in their power and do whatever they have to do with dignity and grace. They don't worry about the future nor the past, they don't care about what people may think. They just do what feels right to them and I feel like this earns them a lot of admiration from others. They are very communicative and smart, sensual, charismatic. They gently nudge people to adapt their attitude very naturally by embodying the best version of them. They are very mature and accomplished. This is someone that takes good care of their health and appearance but they also don't neglect their spiritual practice, and make sure that they sharpen their mind. This is a very balanced person.
Then, I pick up on the energy of someone that may not have their life very put together and may be going through a difficult phase in their life but doesn't give up nontheless. This person is trying their best to overcome their difficulties and learn from their mistakes. They are very bold in nature, curious, charismatic in their own way but this person may lack a bit of confidence and faith in themselves compared to the other person. Maybe things recently happened in their life which set them off balance and made them question themselves. This person is learning how to assert their power and regain balance. They are in the process of healing whatever trauma they deal with. They may be a bit immature and also insecure, especially about their body I am getting. This is someone that knows they are lacking and is determined to be better however they may have a hard time following through with their own decisions. They may not be as dedicated as the other person. They can be quite efficient and impressive as well but whenever they doubt themselves or don't feel their best, this person doesn't give off the best image.
In terms of zodiac signs, we have Taurus, Aquarius, Leo. I don't get a specific message as to how you may meet this person. It might take quite a while before you meet them, as your energies aren't aligned yet to enable this meeting.
Group 3 💕
Page of cups, 8 of cups, Magician, Queen of cups, Emperor, 10 of cups
Regardless of whether the cards are upright or not, positive or not, I got a strong no vibe from the spread right off the bat with the 3 first cards that fell out. You don't know this person yet and you probably haven't met them. I get the message that many of you have met a person that you like and were wondering whether this person could be the one. And the answer is no, apparently. I feel like you have been hoping to meet your FS for a while now and working really hard on manifesting that relationship. Which in itself isn't a bad thing. But I get the message that in doing so, you forgot about yourself and neglected yourself.
Spirit insists on saying that meeting your future spouse first starts with meeting yourself and loving yourself. The more you will be in an energy of putting others before yourself and forgetting yourself by giving your all for the benefit of others, the only connections you're gonna manifest will be toxic for you. You will draw in people that will seek to take advantage of your giving nature and have control over you. So if the person you were wondering about is the type to take a lot from you but gives you little in return, they are definitely not the one you were looking for. The person that has the highest potential of being your spouse is someone that will not take away from you greedily. They will be very loving towards you and also very giving. They won't seek to prioritize their own pleasure and needs above yours. They'll make sure things are even. They will be someone that nurtures you and uplifts you, encourages you to stand in your own power and cultivate your own hapiness. They will help you in manifesting your dreams and moving away from what no longer serves you. They will make you feel cared for, protected, understood on every level. They will be someone that will try to shift their perspective so that they can better understand you. They will find a common ground so that neither of you feels neglected or let down. They will be very in tune with your emotions and needs. They will be there for you no matter what, either by helping you assert a situation, offering practical help or reassuring you. They will make you feel empowered and so loved.
Water signs are highly represented here so your potential future spouse could have major water placements in their chart or just be a very sensitive and intuitive person. We also have Gemini and Aries. They just give off a very soft and comforting energy. They will like PDA and won't be scared to demonstrate their love for you in all kinds of ways. They'll give the best cuddles and just create a safe space for you to be your quirky self. You'll never have to feel pressured to do anything with or for them. You'll never feel judged or like you're not enough because you'll be perfect in their eyes. They could be the type to send you good morning and good night texts every day if you're at a distance from one another, or to remind you daily of how beautiful you are and how much they love you. I get a dad vibe from them so maybe your person will already have had children when you meet or they are used to being in contact with children. Maybe it's a part of their job or they're just naturally good at it because they are so caring on a daily basis. Regardless of their gender, I feel like this person will make a very good parent if that is something both of you are okay with.
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Are you a water is wet believer? (no judgement either way but i thirst for knowledge)
Oof… uh… asking the real questions here.
I like to think of wetness as something having moisture. A towel becomes wet when water is on it. You hands become wet when you touch a liquid. Wetness is the feeling and often spread of moisture that is adhering to some substance.
In that case… like a molecule of water independently isn’t wet. Like we see with H2O gas. Ice isn’t wet either. Only when it does it stick to other things: The second it contacts another substance that it sticks to THAT substance becomes wet. In that sense I guess water molecules can make other water molecule wet, but that’s because they’re touching. Not because they are innately wet. Wetness isn’t constant. It’s a state of being.
To clarify: a group of H2O molecules in liquid form? Wet. A single isolated one? No.
(Apologies I am severely out of it right now but these are my thoughts.)
#but also like the thing with words is that we sometimes perceive them differently?#they’re just a combination of symbols to represent a concept#I think the issue with the debate stems from us disagreeing what wetness means#so neither side is really right or wrong#just as long as you’re able to articulate in a way other people can understand#asks#water
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Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.
It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????
#sometimes i feel like a prized 12 point buck and everyone is desperate to give chase so they can skin me and wear my pelt in memorium#the luxury of being seen is rarely extended to those we perceive as confident/constant in their sense of self#the path of being a child who was constantly told i was making people uncomfortable and alienating my peers#only to immediately become an adult who everyone perceives as so together that they are just Like That With Everyonr#brennan said something like this in the disection of a recent misfits and magic episode about sam (character)#and how he (as evan) realized that the charm and specialness she gifts to everyone around her means that no one ever really gifts it back#and how that fundamentally felt transcendent and revelatory for evan as a turning point idea#he'd spent so long never trusting others feelings of care for him that he couldn't see how he was bulldozing right into and over sam's own#insecurities about whether or not she is worth loving or is special in the same way#and then they had some back and forth about like#sometimes when you develop the skill of relateability and pacification#you disappear so deeply into it that no one notices you're gone - even you yourself - until it's too late#it put to words a lot of the like#gap. that i've always felt between me and others. this insistance on elevating or pathologizing me depending on where they feel the need#to be in relation to me#while having absolutely zero awareness of my actual positioning in relation to them#i have found that they way i interact with others seems to give the impression that because i am being 'genuine' and 'open' about myself#that ALSO means that I am sharing the whole of me.#and when i talk about destigmatization and shame and people work really hard to be like. aware of the edges of me to carch me embarrassed#like if they can prove that i don't 'admit' something it's because i'm ashamed as opposed to considering that maybe they don't have the kind#of relationship with me that would warrant the sharing of it#because i'm willing to talk i am no longer allowed privacy or it's treated as incongruous#but like. i am different people for different people and they are all authentically me but they are also about faciliting the version#of the other person that matters to me to be able to spend time with. i'm not going to bring the parts of me that put you in a bad mood#or aren't comfortable/safe for you. also probably not going to put those things out into the open world as a mixed company conversation#i don't know where I'm going or where I came from here but i think the point is just that I think there's melancholy in seeing when#you also don't know a reliable way to be seen in turn
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love having a weird relationship with gender (read: what is gender) and people wishing "happy international women's day" in a group chat when they perceive you (and a couple of others in the group) as women and then sitting there going "so do I just respond something like a thanks bc I guess technically yes but also no or do I just ignore this and risk appearing rude or what do I do"
#noopa rambles#what is gender#for me it's somewhat of a 'if you remove attraction what even is left'#I feel so disconnected of this being of a 'woman'#I do not wish to be perceived as a 'woman'#I'm a secret third thing#what is that secret third thing I do not know#god life is so weird when you have old friends you don't interact with like that much anymore#like friends you sometimes still catch up with but who don't really know you anymore#idk if I know them anymore that well either but I feel like I'm defo hiding shit#then again is it hiding shit if I choose not to share bc I don't feel like sharing with them#tbh I think there's one person in the group who I'd probably fully trust to share#or I think I trust her djdjdkd and another one I also kinda trust#but I'm also lowkey (highkey) afraid of being wrong about being able to trust the second pal#and if that blew up in my face idk how I'd be able to take it bc that person was my first real friend#and bc of that a potential backlash would hurt like hell even tho we aren't that close these days#idk my mans I'm having a lot of Thoughts(tm) and no answers#I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope and idk what to do about it with these particular people#like. the aroace thing never really felt like a closet bc that I had expressed not through labels but different words#this gender thing feels more like a Thing(tm)#except idk exactly what the Thing(tm) is#is it being agender or am I just overthinking this#who the heck knows certainly not me
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tastes | Marauders x Reader
Pairing: J.P. x S.B. x R.L x Female Reader
Word Count: 5.3k
Warnings: Smut, finger fucкing, oral (male receiving), P in V, lots of praise (especially from Remus), Sirius gets all the love he deserves, consent is sexy, lusty!boys, сreаm piе, they literally can't take their eyes off you.
Prompt: Inspired by the sense of taste. Reader has a very strong gag reflex, so the boys have never asked you to blow them, and you love them for it. But today, you want to taste them.
tastes is part of The Five Senses: an anthology series where each chapter will be a stand-alone story, inspired by the different ways we have of perceiving the world around us.
18+ readers only (smut under the cut)
Cum Feel The Noize
You had always had pretty strong gag reflex, just brushing your tongue while you brushed your teeth made you want to puкe sometimes, it wasn’t ideal, but it was what you were born with so you settled.
The boys knew, you’d been friends with them long before you started dating, and you had been pretty vocal about it, really, you were just so comfortable with them around that you didn’t mind talking about those things.
“What about sucking a dicк?” Sirius asked, half teasingly, half because he’d been genuinenly curious. He got elbowed by James after asking, but you just laughed.
“Nah, it’s fine,” you told James dismissively “In truth, I’ve never done that.”
“Never, ever? Not even the tip?” Asked James impressed, now curious as well. You shook your head as an answer.
“Not even when you dated that stupid Harland boy?” asked Remus. They all hated Harland because they all liked you, even then, a few months before you started all dating each other.
“Harland?” you asked in disbelief “Hell no! He asked a couple of times but, I just couldn’t do it,” you admitted “I really didn’t want to puкe all over his dicк.”
“Understandable,” Remus nodded.
“Yeah, you’d think. That’s why we broke up tho.”
“What? Shut up!” James said, almost standing straigther.
“No, it’s true!” you said with a nod “He said there were plenty other girls in the market, and that most of them would die just to get the chance to suck him off.”
“And what did you tell him?” Sirius asked.
“To fuck off,” you said with a laugh “didn’t even like him that much anyway,” you said with a sight, “But he’s so petty, he asked me to go see him in one of the abandoned classrooms to give me back some of my stuff, but he had just gotten a girl to blow him there. So when I arrived–”
James gasped, he had his mouth open wide, completely shocked.
“–Poor girl, she was so embarrassed ‘cause she thought we were still dating. Which in hindsight, probably makes is worse. Anyway, he tried to go after me and jinxed him.”
“We thought you stopped dating because he moved away.”
“Nope, he moved away because the girl told all her friends about it and gave him the worst reputation.”
Fast forward to now, you had been dating them for almost a year, and they had, never once, asked you to suck them off, not even by accident, which only made you love them even more, making you realize they truly listened, the difference abysmal between them and Harland, who’d asked hundreds of times, and your boys, who actually cared about you and your limits. And since they also had each other to have fun with it, neither of them missed out on getting blowjobs all that often either. Benefits of being in a poly relationship.
But the boys were always so caring, and so giving, both in and outside of the bedroom, that you really wanted to give back to them. In fact, seeing the way James sucked Remus once, made you want to test it yourself, mouth watering at the thought. You had done your research too, asked your friends about their techniques and paid a lot more attention when they were doing each other, making mental notes of the things they clearly liked and the things they didn’t. For the first time in your life, you actually wanted to try.
So, on Sirius’ birthday, you thought it’d be your chance. The boy had asked Peter for the room and he happily left the three of them to do their thing while going to bunk with his own girlfriend. Remus had been the one to pick you up at your room with the invisibility cloak that day.
“You ready luv?” he asked tenderly when you got out of your room, quickly enveloping you in the cloak as he stood behind you.
“Very ready,” you said with a little smirk, which had Remus raise one of his eyebrows. Did you plan something? That’s definitely your “I’ve planned something” tone.
He dipped his head in the crook of your neck and gave it a short whiff “You’re wearing Sirius’ favourite perfume,” he mouthed, you could feel his lips brushing against your skin, already sending warmth to your core. “What else?”
You smiled mischievously “Nothing else,” you admitted.
A rush of blood went straight to his cock when he heard you say that so confidently, and he finally peaked from his spot in your neck, looking through the thin white shirt you were wearing, he could see your nipple perking underneath the fabric, marking it ever so slightly. “Fuck, dove you’re such a tease.”
You shrugged, turning to press a kiss to his cheek, realizing how blown out his pupils were already, “You know how much Sirius loves it.”
He slid his hands under your skirt, only feeling the outside of your tight, all the way to your waist, as if trying to feel if you really had nothing underneath at the bottom. “Yeah, he’s not the only one,” he grunted, digging his digits a little, just below your pelvis. You pressed yourself to him a little more, realizing he was already getting turned on, even from such a short interaction, which only fueled you even more, turning completely around you wrapped your fingers on his neck and brought him down for a kiss. He complied, pushing you against a nearby wall as he kissed back, hands still extended above his head to keep the cloak covering the two of you. When you finally separated, you were both panting, his lips were already pink from the stimulation, and he brought one of his hands down to accommodate his pants, they were already making him uncomfortable.
“Come on handsome,” you told him with a smile, butting your bottom lip for a mere second and pulling at his bicep ever so slightly, “Why don’t we continue the party inside?”
When you arrived at their room, Sirius was on his bed, sketching something in his notebook while James was setting up the record player. After all the initial plan had been to just chill and listen to music together. But you all knew that wasn’t going to be the end of the story from the moment the suggestion left Remus’ lips.
You went straight to Siri, pressing a chaste kiss over his mouth as you laid down next to him “Happy birthday Puppy!”
“That’s like the 10th time today you say that,” James teased.
“It’s probably just an excuse to snog him,” added Remus.
You shrugged and leaned in again, pressing another short kiss to Sirius’ soft lips “Happy birthday,” you whispered again.
Sirius just smiled, he loved when you showered him with attention, he had always had a knack for being the center of it, but when he was the center of yours, it made him soar, “You can snog me without wishing me happy birthday kitten, in fact, you can snog me whenever the hell you want.”
You laughed at the suggestive little smirk he made and searched with your hand to grab his. Sirius would definitely go crazy with how much attention you were all about to give him. He leaned in a little closer, dipping his head in the crook of your neck as he turned “You smell nice,” he whispered.
James almost jumped to the bed, placing the top half of his body over the bottom half of yours, his head looking at you from above your belly, “Don’t act like we aren’t in the room,” he said with a pout, placing a hand over your bare leg.
“We weren’t,” Sirius said, still from the crook of your neck “We were just giving you a show,” he added in the end, you could feel the smirk in his tone. Remus laughed, still standing in the middle of the room as he took off his sweater, passing it over his head, slowly, Remus was the most patient of the three; unless you were close to the moon.
You took a deep breath, feeling James’ forearm press against your belly as you did, he leaned down over them and noticed. “You’re not wearing a bra today,” he said as he raised just the edge of your shirt to get a peak.
“And it’s not the only thing I didn’t put on,” you said teasingly.
Sirius turned to you shocked “Shut up.”
“Why don’t you see it for yourself,” you said with a smirk. Sirius didn’t think twice as he dipped his hand under your skirt. Unlike Remus, he went straight to your slick, feeling how wet you already were.
“Bloody hell kitten, you’re soaked,” he said, now his own eyes blown out in lust “Wait, why are you so…?” he turned to Remus, who just shrugged in response, a cheeky smile playing on his face. He narrowed his eyes at him and turned back to you, “fine then… my turn,” he said, lightly pushing James off you as he grabbed you by the waist and placed you on top of him, you were now straddling him, each leg to the side of his. The friction of his pants in your core, only making you all the more turned on, you ground yourself against him, which had him moan, if ever so lightly. James had placed one hand over your tight as he moved to kiss Sirius’ neck. Today was his day, after all.
You smiled, slowly grinding yourself against the boy one more time before leaning in to kiss him on the lips. Remus was sitting on the bed beside yours, lousily looking at the three of you as he patted himself. After a couple more kisses, you reached your hand under Sirius’ shirt, and both you and James pulled Sirius on a sitting position so you could completely remove it, gently passing it over his head. James didn’t leave him lay back down though, he pressed himself behind him to gain better access to his neck instead.
You smiled, still kissing Sirius as you fumbled your fingers over the button of his trousers. “Someone’s thirsty,” he teased.
“You wouldn’t know how much,” you whispered enigmatically. There it is again, Remus thought, she’s onto something. With the help of James, you managed to remove Sirius’ pants too. Playing with the hem of his trousers as you continued to grind onto his leg. Now it was your turn, moving in tandem with James, the two of you managed to lay Sirius back, over James’ chest, who rubbed soft circles on his arms as he watched you grind onto his boyfriend. Sirius was malleable, in fact, at this point, he would let you do whatever the hell you wanted with him, he wasn’t sure he was even still on earth.
Finally, you pulled his boxers down, pulling back just a little when his thick cock sprang out, pressing against his stomach from the force of the release. You licked your lips but stood back straight, taking your time to throw the boxers somewhere. Remus smiled, you were being fast tonight, maybe he’ll get his turn faster than–
He lost his train of thought, you had dropped kisses all over Sirius’ stomach and your face was dangerously close to his cock. It wasn’t unusual that you played and rubbed their cocks with your hands, but you usually kept your head a little further away from them.
He almost completely lost it when he noticed you playing with Sirius’ tights, pressing kisses against them as you spread them a little with your hands. That was a move he knew all too well, he’d done it several times. Finally, when you leaned down and pressed your lips against Sirius’ cock, it was he who jumped out of James’ grasp, Remus crossing the distance that there was in between the two of you with two long strides.
“Kitten what are you–” Sirius asked, his throat dry.
“–what do you think?” you said, motioning to his cock.
“But your gag reflex sweetheart,” James said, he was peering through Sirius’ shoulders.
Your heart warmth at the boys’ concern, “I wanna try,” you added.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to do it… If you feel pressured into it because it’s my birthday then–”
“–It’s not that,” you cut him off “I want to try.”
“Are you very sure luv?” Remus asked, he had leaned down near the bed to level his head with yours.
You nodded “Positive.”
“Sirius can be a little desperate sometimes,” James added “We can help you hold him in place so he doesn’t accidentally jerk too hard into your throat, How does that sound?”
You peered to look at him through your lashes, Sirius thought you’d never looked more stunning “If Sirius is all right with that.”
The boy in question nodded excitedly, and James leaned a little to the side, pressing one of his legs, while Remus held him from the other side.
“We’re ready,” Remus said with a short nod.
You nodded in response, taking a deep breath, and leaned back down pressing little kisses on Sirius’ soft abdomen before placing your hand over his balls. You’d seen James do it, and Sirius seemed to like it when he did.
Judging by the way he moaned, he also enjoyed it when you did. After kneading them a little more, and rubbing circles over his tight with your other hand, you placed your hand around his cock, pumping it a couple of times before finally leaning down, placing a light kiss over his tip. The sound Sirius emitted was so sinful, you felt your arousal dripping from your cunt.
James had moved over the bed, one hand still over Sirius’ leg, the other on his cock, he was watching mouth dry as you leaned down on Sirius. He had only dreamed of you doing such a thing, never daring to ask for it.
You took a deep breath, and went for a long lick, all the way from shaft to the end. Remus smirked, such a tease, he thought.
Sirius moaned again, head plopping back into the pillows James had placed when he moved to the side.
Remus hummed “Stop teasing him so much sweetheart,” he said as he placed a hand on the side of Sirius’ face, brushing lightly from his temple to his neck all the while looking tenderly at the boy, “He might just combust in flames if you keep it up.”
You stroked Sirius one more time, brushing your thumb over his tip the way you knew he liked so much and then you leaned down again, this time wrapping your mouth around his tip. You didn’t go down too deep at first, only really staying around the tip, making sure to test how much you could actually fit into your mouth without it getting uncomfortable.
You started moving your tongue around his tip, nipping and teasing. Another moan escaped from Sirius’ mouth, James didn’t know where to look as he touched himself, either at you or Sirius’ pleasure-driven face. At some point, you felt a slight buckle of Sirius’ hips, or at least an attempt of it, since both James and Remus had managed to restrain him from moving too much.
“Please,” he begged. You knew exactly what he wanted. When he got all whinny like that, it was because he wanted you to pick up the pace, either by stroking him faster or bobbing your hips up and down his length. You squeezed slightly with your hand since you knew how much he liked it when you clenched your “tight little pussy” around him. And finally, you started to bob your head up and down, slowly, taking in very little of him in your mouth at first. Testing the waters.
Sirius emitted the kind of groan you only heard of him when he was so deep into you, he couldn’t think of anything else. You then felt Remus’ hand, the one he wasn’t using to hold Sirius’s hip, moving under your skirt. Slowly moving up until he reached the tender flesh of the inside of your tight. And then he went further up, tracing your slit with his long finger.
“Fuck,” he whispered, “Pads, if you could feel how wet she is at this point… she’s practically dripping.”
Remus knew exactly what he was doing, Sirius was as much into physical pleasure as emotional, much like you were, and Remus was well aware knowing such a thing would set his boyfriend on fire, he wasn’t wrong, you could feel his hips trying to buckle into your mouth again, only to be stopped by the boys’ strong hands.
Remus did not remove his hand either, he kept playing around your slit, slowly parting with two fingers as you perked your ass just a bit more for easier access, which just had him grin. You moaned when he placed one of his fingers over your clit and started rubbing, Remus had the most confident grip when it came to finger fucking you, and he always delivered.
You started taking in a bit more of Sirius, forcing yourself a little over what you’d consider your comfort zone. Every moan his noises and Remus’ hands pulled from you, reverberating across his cock and bringing him closer.
“Sweethea… aaaah, fuck.” Sirius was trying to tell you something, but the way his moans sounded, you knew exactly what he wanted to say.
Regardless, it was James who took his hand away from his own cock and bought it to caress your back, “Kitten…” he said softly, you eyed him, not stopping the way you moved your mouth around Sirius, which almost got him to lose his train of thought, “Kitten, Sirius is about to come,” he informed.
You hummed in response, being aware of it already. You knew. Finally, that brought Remus back into the conversation “Wait, luv, does that mean you’re going to…” you hummed again.
“fuck,” you heard him whisper. She’s gonna swallow, he thought, not being able to keep his eyes off you.
Sirius was just as impressed, even if he wasn’t thinking much at this point, he had brought his hand down, and he toyed with your hair before settling it just over the back of your neck, he wasn’t pushing though, he was rubbing soft circles with his thumb, even amongst all the madness you’d brought to him, he was still thinking of your comfort.
You drove your head up and down three more times, and then you felt it, warm and a little salty, spurring into your mouth. And as you had planned you swallowed it all, helping Sirius ride through his orgasm by still bobbing your head a couple of times.
“It’s ok sweetheart,” you heard James, he still had his hand on your back “He’s done, you can stop.”
You did, slowly taking your mouth out and letting your head fall over Sirius’ belly, making sure to keep your ass up so Remus wouldn’t stop toying with your pussy, which he wasn’t planning on either way. Sirius looked at you, breath heavy as he wrapped his hand over your cheek, “That was incredible sweets, and for your first time.”
You pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his stomach, and then turned your eyes back to him “I’d been observing you…” you said. Being stoped by your own moan as Remus drove a finger inside of you “taking notes of what each of my boys likes best.”
“fuck you’re so tight,” the boy whispered, only James heard, you and Sirius were too wrapped in your own little bubble.
“Have you now?” he said with a teasing smile, “you might become the best of the three,” he whispered, it earned him a smack from James, who had been attentively watching the way Remus finger fucked you, imagining how it would look like without the skirt.
“Next time you beg for me to blow you after a game I’ll tell you to go beg elsewhere,” he teased. Which earned a chuckle from you and Sirius.
“I want to see,” Sirius added, motioning to Remus’ hand under your skirt.
“That makes two of us,” James said as he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into a sitting position, you whined in response, almost crying at the loss of Remus’ expert fingers.
“It’s ok baby, we’re just gonna reposition,” James cooed, and he started to unbutton your shirt as Remus got on the bed, taking off his shirt in one swift motion before helping James remove yours. The boys moved in tandem, smoothly as if they knew exactly what the other was about to do next, which perhaps they did, since they knew each other so well. Once the shirt was off, you felt the cold air perk your nipples, giving both boys sitting in front of you their own little show. While that was going on, Remus was the one to unbutton and unzip your skirt, lifting you up towards him as James pulled it off.
Remus placed you in between his legs, enjoying the feeling of the soft bare skin of your back flushing against his torso. He hadn’t yet removed his pants, but you could feel how hard he was under them, so hard it’s gotta be painful.
But Remus had only two moods, either being patient or being desperate; today he was the first one, so when you rocked your hips back, trying to get a reaction, he just held you down “Steady on sweetheart, let us enjoy you first.”
And they were going to enjoy you, while Remus spread you wide open, carefully passing your feet over his legs so they would stay in position, James had leaned in to spread soft kisses on your neck. All of you facing Sirius, who was just smiling darkly at the sight.
Remus was slow at first, passing a hand over your inner tight, massaging the soft skin before getting closer to your slit. Even then, he just massaged around it “Remus!” you whined, which only earned him a chuckle.
“What is it luv?” he asked, playing dumb.
“Yeah, what is it?” James asked, unlaching his lips from your neck and turning to you, joining the teasing.
“Please!” you added, grabbing onto Remus’ hand and placing it on your slit.
Finally, he complied, tracing his strong fingers over your slit, still impossibly wet. James had already moved on to kiss one of your nipples, nipping and teasing the tender skin. Sucking it into peaks before laying it back with his tongue. One of his hands had been placed in the small of your neck, and the other on your other breast, making sure not to let it skip on the fun.
“How are you three so goddamned beautiful?” you heard Sirius mumble as he enjoyed the view.
This time around, after toying with your clit once more, Remus placed two fingers inside instead of one, which had you gasp, but he just smiled devilishly as he thrusted them in and out, eliciting one of his favourite sounds in the world, your moans. While lost in bliss, you felt James’ cock brush against your skin, which made you remember how forgotten you had left him tonight, so you reached out and brushed your hand around it, brushing your thumb over the tip a couple of times, earning a couple of moans from him.
“Yes, please,” he whispered, and you complied, finally starting to stroke him. James did not stop the kissing as you continued to move your hand up and down his length, only moaning your name a couple of times, and squeezing your breast a little tighter when he was close.
You were just as close, you realized Remus had been not only finger fucking you, but preparing you as well, slowly stretching you out with the help of his two fingers. Remus was big, and without stretching, he just didn’t fit in. And if he was stretching you out, then it meant he knew he’d get your wet little cunt tonight and it only fueled him more and turned you on even more in return. You buckled your hips against his fingers a couple of times, and his pace became faster. Just like your stroking around James’ cock.
James came first, thrusting into your hand as his cum dripped all over it, finally unlatching himself from your nipples and breathing heavily as he stared dumbly at you and Remus, lips parted and slightly red, just the sight of it made you buckle your hips against Remus’ hand once again. He was about to take his wand to clean your hand with it, when Remus used his free hand to bring it over to his mouth and ran his tongue from your wrist bone to your fingers, licking most James’ cum along, which James swore made his cock twitch again.
And then Remus turned to you, not slowing down the pace on your pussy, but looking as calm as unbothered as if he were a teacher asking a student for an answer “Do you want to taste him too, sweetheart?”
You nodded, and he pushed your hand towards your mouth, carefully placing the soft section between your thumb and your wrist right over your lips, it was the only section still covered with James’ cum, and you slowly brought your lips around it, sucking carefully on your hand and letting your lips slowly go back to their place as Remus’ pulled your hand out. James was a little saltier than Sirius, but also relatively sweet.
“fuck… i’m gonna end up getting hard again,” you heard James’ groan, which had Sirius chuckle as he pulled the boy towards him.
“Come Prongs, enjoy the show with me,” he said with a smile. James leaned in and gave Sirius a short kiss before leaning on his shoulder.
“All right sweetheart, your turn,” Remus said as he brought his index finger from the other hand to your clit, you leaned your head back on his shoulder, buckling your hips against him with more conviction now that you weren’t distracted by anything else.
His pace quickened and you moaned and whined under his expert hands “Hmmm… please Rem, I’m about to…”
“It’s ok baby, be good and come all over my fingers,” he cooed, and you did, harshly pulling your head back as you allowed him to finger fuck you to oblivion. “There we go, such a good girl for me, isn’t that right?” he praised, as he brought his hand, still wet with your slick over to his mouth and sucked sinfully over the two fingers that were inside of you, moaning as he tasted your juices. He then turned back to you again. “Now, are you gonna allow me to fuck that tight little pussy of yours tonight or do you feel too tired already?”
You wanted nothing more than for Remus to stretch you up just right, so you nodded, head still a little foggy from the high, “Please Remus,” you added for good measure, moving your hips back just to feel him press against you one more time.
Finally, you moved to the side, allowing the boy to take both his pants and underwear off before he laid down on the bed, Remus knew it was easier for you to be the one to ride him, at least at first –and when he was the first one– since that way you had a little more control over how big he was, and he was always more than happy to let you do it, in fact, he quite enjoyed the way your breast bounced as you bobbed up and down his length. And he knew the boys liked it just as much, so he strategically laid in a way so that they would get a good view of you.
You slowly straddled him, placing both knees on each side of his hip before rubbing yourself against his cock a couple of times, causing him to moan this time. You were still so fucking wet.
Eventually, you lifted yourself up and lined him with your entrance. He placed both of his hands around your hips, to help hold you up as you slowly pushed yourself down, moaning as you went as deep as you could. Remus had responded to your tightness with a grunt, truth be told he’d been dreaming of it from the moment he went to pick you up.
You started bobbing up and down his length, slow at first, but picking up that pace as your walls got used to his size. Remus had his hands on your waist, helping you move easily as he started to thrust up into you, reaching the right spot. “fuck… yes,” you said breathily as he continued thrusting.
“So fucking tight,” Remus breathed as he helped you ride him, completely focused on you, on your parted lips, your soft huffs and moans; you were absolutely entrancing in the way you moved your hips on him, “You’re taking me in so well sweetheart…”
You moaned, and clenched around him, which just caused him to buckle against you even harder. That got you to whimper and you brought both of your palms to lay over his shoulders, to hold yourself better as you continued to rock your hips on the boy, “Baby… if you keep that up I’m not gonna last,” he added, and just to tease him, you clenched again, eliciting a moan from the boy so sinful, it fueled you to keep moving, faster this time around.
“So beautiful, aren’t they Prongs?” you heard Sirius say, almost not quite registering it with the way Remus’ cock trusted into you right after. The other boy hummed in response, not able to take his eyes off the way you were moving.
When Remus was close, he switched the two of you around, laying you flat on the bed as he brought one of his hands over to your clit, “Be a good girl and come for me one last time sweetheart,” he said as he continued to thrust. Holding back his own orgasm, he wanted to hear you moan his name as he came.
And after a few more flicks and circles of his thumb, with his pace quickening, you came, “hmm Remus…” you whispered as he continued to thrust inside of you, the way your walls clenched around tipping the boy over the edge, he had hold it back so long, he practically grunted into your ear and spiled inside of you.
Eventually, he pulled back, staring at your pussy as he panted, you knew what he wanted and so you squeezed, allowing the thick white liquid to spill from your inside, dripping from your entrance to the back of your ass. Remus really liked to see the evidence of fucking you, somehow satisfying his most primal desires, or so he’d told you once.
Remus brought one of his hands back to your cunt, you shivered with the contact since you were still slightly overstimulated, but he didn’t budge, using his middle and index to gather some of your combined juices, he angled his head cockily, “Are you gonna taste me tonight as well sweetheart?” he asked.
You smiled wickedly, using your elbows to prop yourself up and leaning in towards the boy’s hand, not bothering to answer as you opened your mouth and wrapped it around both of his fingers, making sure to let your lips pull as you slowly hollowed your mouth and pulled yourself back, licking your lips as you completely separated from the boy. Remus had not been expecting that, his cocky demeanour faltering as his mouth dried. Remus was the sweetest of the three.
A/N: this is the third piece of smut I’ve written so far, and omg this definitely got out of hand. Regardless… I do feel like I’m getting the hang of it. Maybe? A little bit? At least I don’t feel the cringe, anymore. Saying that, I do still stop myself every now and then and wonder “what the hell am I writing?” In a “I’d be burned in the stake for imagining these things” sort of way haha! Either way, I’m having fun, and that’s what matters!
The Five Senses was born as a way for me to practice writing smut for my brand new Wolfstar x Reader series that's currently being posted on a weekly basis. If you have feedback, please leve it in the comment below. I absolutely love reading your comments <3
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I'll go animal to keep you next to me
⭔ Stalker!Wooyoung ⭔
∞ Author: bvidzsoo
∞ Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x female reader
∞ Warning: stalking, mentions of murder and kidnaping ∞ Word count: 4.9k ∞ Genre: non-idol!au, mafia!au, stalker!au, university!au, strangers to enemies!au ∞ Rating: nc-17 ∞ Summary: Not having enough money to pay your monthly rent and also your college bills, you start working at a nice coffee shop. One day, a mysterious man with a little girl in his arms comes inside and orders an Iced Americano. Why is that after that day you find white roses in front of your front door each day? Who is giving them to you? And what does this mystery person want from you?
∞ A/N: Hii, lovelies! Last update for the week as I'm going on a mini-trip tomorrow ^^ Wooyoung's part looked a lot different in my mind initially, but the drabble turned out like this, I hope it's good! I might just turn my initial idea into a oneshot or smth lol. Most probably Hongjoong's part will be next when I sit down to continue this mini-series, so keep an eye out for that. I'm not starting a taglist for this one, sorry<3 (you'll have to lurk around) Feedback is much appreciated and I hope you enjoy!
⭔ Listen to this before or while reading! ^^
∥ Hongjoong ∥ Seonghwa ∥ Yunho ∥ Yeosang ∥ San ∥ Mingi ∥ Wooyoung ∥ Jongho ∥
How we perceive others is a peculiar and particular thing. How others perceive us is another thing we do not have power over. Sometimes, people can tell when somebody isn’t a good person, and sometimes, somebody manages to hide their dark side so well you wouldn’t even know until their mask slips and their true nature starts showing through the cracks. A good-hearted person will always try to see the good in everyone, in everything around them despite their friends' warnings about said somebody. A kind person will try and ignore all the red flags they seem to be getting from said somebody in favor of writing it off as paranoia. Because a handsome man with a sharp jawline and a Roman nose, high-pitched laughter that sounds like a witch's laughter, and is good with children cannot be a crazed man, right? He cannot hide his ugly nature underneath this perfect mask that seldom cracks, seldom.
I had met him in a coffee shop while I was on my shift, desperate for this part-time job to keep the bills paid as my parents paid for my university. It was a fair arrangement, I had been on board with the idea, but after they had to lay me down at my previous well-paying job, I was rather desperate and accepted almost any job to be able to pay this month’s rent. The coffee shop was in a relatively safe part of the city and was usually frequented by college students, so I had never truly felt unsafe. The bus station was right in front of it, so I didn’t even have to walk through dodgy alleyways to get home, or anything. Yet, somehow, when a man who looked like he was sculpted by a Greek God walked inside the coffee shop, my heart dropped and my arms got covered in goosebumps. It wasn’t even from his unnatural beauty; it was due to this very quiet voice in the back of my mind warning me that he was dangerous. But that voice must’ve been wrong because there was no way in hell a little girl would be clinging to his side and calling him uncle if that were the case. So, against my better judgment, I had ignored the warning voice, and instead, smiled widely as they arrived at the counter, our coffee shop’s welcoming speech rolling off my tongue like second nature.
Despite silencing the already quiet voice, I couldn’t shut down my body’s natural reactions to the man and I found myself having to force the smile to stay on my face, averting my eyes onto the young girl to try and remain genuine.
“I’d like an Iced Americano, Y/N.” Hearing him say my name made me blanch for a second, eyebrows furrowing as I wondered from where he had known my name until I remembered my nametag.
“Will that be all, sir?” I had asked with a polite smile as the little girl whined and pointed at the chocolate chip cookies we had in the fridge and the man, who looked barely a few years older than me, hummed and looked at me with his sharp eyes. They softened whenever he looked at the little girl and then grew harsh anytime he looked at me. His gaze was calculating and scrutinizing almost, full of wonder for a second before he was smiling dashingly, taking me off guard. I had seen many handsome men in my life before, but there was something almost ethereal to him. His dark hair fell around his face in untended curls making it look natural yet attractive. Something about his eyes made his gaze look almost lazy yet filled with sharpness, the mole right underneath his eye giving his already unusual face a charming glow.
“Two chocolate chip cookies, Y/N.” And there he was, saying my name again with a certain edge to it, and I gulped as I nervously typed in the rest of his order, telling him the total after I checked whether he needed anything else. The little girl had started singing as I got to brew his Iced Americano, and I could feel the man’s watchful eyes follow my every move as he muttered something to the little girl occasionally as he took her into his arms. I tried to calm my nervously beating heart, not quite understanding why I was having such a visceral reaction to the man. The warning voice I managed to silence in my mind was certainly gone, yet I couldn’t find it in myself not to flinch slightly away when I handed his drink over and our fingers touched accidentally. The man’s eyebrows had raised as a dangerous smirk painted his lips as he took the red straw between his teeth, waiting for me to bag the two chocolate chip cookies. Handing them over too, the little girl took one of the bags happily and pressed a sweet kiss against the man’s cheek, making him chuckle as he threw a glance at the cute girl. But then, the other bag was placed back onto the counter and slid towards me.
“For you, pretty girl.” My heart had halted as his pressing gaze bore into mine, making my cheeks flush as I stumbled through my words to thank him for his unnecessary kindness, “My name’s Wooyoung.”
And then he was gone with the little girl, the straw of his drink still between his teeth and pretty lips as he put on his shades, tickling the little girl’s side, making her giggle as she had dirtied her mouth with the chocolate from her cookie. After that first encounter, I had forgotten about Wooyoung rather quickly, with too many worries on my shoulders and too many new faces entering the coffee shop daily, making it hard to remember just one person, but perhaps it would’ve been smarter if I had remembered him. Wooyoung. White roses started showing up in front of my flat’s door every day after that warm day at the coffee shop, and I had no idea who they were from.
The second time, based on my recollection, when I saw Wooyoung again—not that I could be sure of it—was on a random Friday night, months after having met him at the coffee shop, in an overcrowded club as I was celebrating my friend’s birthday with a large group of friends. Most of us have met at our university courses, some of us have known each other since highschool. I was relatively new to the group but they were nice and rather protective of me, I felt safe and appreciated with them. Not being a huge fan of clubbing and the sweaty crowd, I needed a few drinks in my system to make me loosen up, so, it was no surprise that I was tipsy not long after we arrived at the place. I couldn’t pre-game with them as I was on the afternoon shift at the coffee shop and had to lock up, but due to my low alcohol tolerance, it came as no problem catching up with their intoxicated states.
The music was loud and the flashing lights blinded me every few minutes, but I was enjoying myself. Arms high up in the air and hips swaying to the beat, I was surrounded by my friends who were screaming the lyrics to the songs that were played, and I finally felt free after ages. It was refreshing, relaxing, and most of all…I finally felt stress-free. I was enjoying myself, laughing and playing around as my friends and I played random dance challenges on the dance floor, roping in a few others as well as they seemed to be amused by our shenanigans. I felt eyes on me all night, a heavy and intense gaze, but I couldn’t pinpoint just one person. Perhaps it didn’t help that my vision was hazy from all of the alcohol I had consumed, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable. We were in a club, after all, everyone was looking at everyone, surveying the crowd and the people, probably looking for someone to hook up with for the night.
When my throat had started feeling parched and my stomach a little unsure, I pulled aside one of my friends and told her I needed a drink. She was eager to accompany me to the bar and I was even more eager to down a whole bottle of water in under a few seconds. My friend chuckled and asked for another one, knowing that I would need it, and she was right, the second bottle of water was gone in no time too, but this time I did share it with her as well. I wasn’t as thirsty as seconds before. But we weren’t satiated just yet, so, my friend asked for two rounds of some sour shots that I didn’t care to memorize the name of and once we had downed them, I was positive I would be throwing up in the morning with a head-splitting headache on the horizon. But that was tomorrow me’s problem, tonight was about having fun.
Just as my friend and I had decided to head back to the dance floor, the tall bartender came over with a pink and orange-looking cocktail, motioning for me to lean closer as his voice wasn’t audible over the loud music and even louder crowd. Apparently, the drink was from someone sitting down at the bar, and the bartender had said the man wanted me to know that a pretty girl like me deserves a sweet drink. Finding no harm in that, I thanked the bartender and tried to find the man, but upon being unsuccessful, I allowed my friend to lead the way back to our friend group as we shared my drink, which was definitely too sweet. Despite being curious of who the mystery man was that bought the drink for me was, I never came across him. Feeling those piercing eyes on me continued throughout the night, but I never quite seemed to make eye contact with anyone who could’ve been the culprit. I suppose it was meant to stay as a mystery. It also didn’t help that in a confusing flash of moment when someone crashed into me from behind and I turned to look at them, I had thought it was Wooyoung, from the coffee shop. But before I could actually make out his face, he was gone.
Underneath the blinding lights, as I was guided by my intoxicated mind, sometime along the night, I had felt arms sneak around my waist and then a broad chest pressing up against my back. I didn’t find it in me to complain and shake the man off, instead, I turned in his embrace and danced the night away by his side, vision too hazy to see his face clearly. But he was tall and he had muscles that could certainly crush my skull if put in a headlock, not that I thought he was dangerous or had evil motives, it was simply an observation that entered my fuzzy mind. But despite us enjoying each other’s company and even finding common ground in surprising subjects, after the man had excused himself to the restroom, he never returned. I was confused for a while until I realized he had probably found himself another company, and I couldn’t blame him or feel bad about it. We were here to have fun and if he found someone more suitable, that was alright. It’s not like I had found my soulmate in him.
What I didn’t expect, however, was to find another white rose in front of my door two days after clubbing with an added gift box to it. It was peculiar, it made me feel uneasy, but I’ve been receiving these roses for four months now, however, the gift was unusual. I still couldn’t figure out from who the roses were from, and despite my friends advice of reporting it to the police, I kept it to myself for now. What were they going to do? Probably send me back home after they tell me they can’t do anything about it, unless I was actually harmed, or this mystery person shows their face. Another shocking development to my day was switching on the TV as I wiped my kitchen clean, gasping and feeling faint for a second as despite my hazy memories I could recognize the face of the missing person they had shown in the news. Apparently, his name was Kim Mingyu, and he had been missing for exactly two days. It’s been exactly two days since we’ve been clubbing, and suddenly, I wasn’t so sure he didn’t return to me because he found somebody else to mingle with. As I went to phone my friend in a confused and worried frenzy, I realized the consistent eyes I had felt on me at the club had disappeared just as Mingyu had gone to the restroom.
I was scared to open the gift box, and when I did, my eyes widened and I panicked, scared to even touch the necklace that was so obviously Kim Mingyu’s. A letter with few words on it had been slipped inside it, underneath the necklace, and it read, ‘Pretty thing he was, unfortunate that he had to go so early on’. Instead of phoning my friend, I phoned the police.
A month had passed and Kim Mingyu was nowhere to be found. I hadn’t known him for long, but it pained me that police could find no leads on him. I was ruled out as a suspect after I called and informed them of the box put in front of my door and they came to speak to me. The investigation was still ongoing, and I was asked to be very cautious as apparently whoever hurt him was the one probably sending me the roses. Rightfully so, I have grown paranoid and scared for my safety, often times I would only leave my apartment if one of my friends could accompany me. I still couldn’t give up my job, so most of the time I just sucked it up and put aside my fear, knowing that I was the safest I could be at the coffee shop with all the cameras in and outside, as well, watching and surveying everything. The roses never stopped showing up, and if at first I found them beautiful and kept them, now they lay in a pile in the trashcan, thrown out every day before I left for my classes. The grounds of the university were safe too. The only time I actually felt scared for my safety was when the crowd wasn’t big, or when I heard footsteps outside my flat. It could’ve only been my neighbors, but I still couldn’t know for sure.
Tonight, however, I finally gave in to my friends' naggings and went out to a barbeque with them. They were worried about me and I could understand them. They rarely saw me now, unless they would come over for the night or walk with me to my destinations. It was hard, I was trying to return to normal and ignore this weird paranoid feeling that I was constantly being watched, even inside my apartment. My gut had twisted before I left my flat, the quiet voice in the back of my mind warning me to stay out of my flat tonight, to just sleep over at my friend’s house, but I couldn’t do that. Her boyfriend was coming over and I didn’t want to be a burden. I already felt bad for always needing someone to be by my side, I didn’t want to inconvenience her even more. I was a big girl and I could take care of myself, it was just that stupid voice trying to scare me and nothing else. I was safe, besides, if whoever was sending me roses hadn’t approached me after five months of possible stalking, then I was alright, they certainly wouldn’t approach me now.
It was past eleven in the evening when I finally made my way home, belly full and tummy hurting from continuous laughter, body and mind at ease from having been with my friends who knew how to up-lift my spirits. I felt fine, serene even, and perhaps the fact that there wasn’t a rose in front of my door today only added onto feeling less worry. Perhaps this somebody had gotten bored of me, finally realized there was nothing special about me, or even fun. I unlocked my door and walked inside my small hallway, dropping my bag onto the floor as I stepped out of my shoes and wore my slippers, hanging my coat onto the hanger. I grabbed a hair tie from the small bowl on the shelf and tied my hair in a low bun, excited to shower and change into my pajamas and perhaps read a bit before going to bed. I had the morning shift tomorrow and I didn’t want to go to bed too late tonight. But as I started shuffling towards my bathroom, I froze in my steps as I realized there was light humming coming from the kitchen and the aroma of multiple foods combined in the air.
My muscles grew tense as I felt around my jeans for my phone, feeling dread when I realized I had left it in my bag, which was on the floor in the small hallway. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I started tiptoeing back to the hallway, but jumped and almost screamed when a body in the darkness rounded the corner, leaning against the wall. The person was now blocking my way towards the hallway and I gulped as my heart started racing, eyes narrowing as I tried to see through the darkness and recognize the person. Perhaps it was one of my friends’, it must be them. I has to be them.
“You’re home later than I expected.” I shuddered as I exhaled, the voice unfamiliar as my heart now beat even faster. So it wasn’t any of my friends. This wasn’t good.
“I—I was out with my—friends.” My voice sounded unsure, and I tried not to tremble too much as the person hummed nodding. I still couldn’t see their face; the blinds were drawn in the living room and I realized it wasn’t me who left them like that.
“You threw my roses away.” The voice sounded disappointed, accusing. I gulped, feeling a chill run down my spine as I eyed the exit. I needed to do something, I couldn’t just stand here and wait for something horrible to happen to me.
“There, uh, there were too many of them.” I whispered, fumbling with my hands as the person just hummed again then sighed loudly.
“Did you have fun at the barbeque, pretty girl?” I gasped quietly as he asked that question, making me shake as I realized he hadn’t only been sending me flowers, he was probably watching my every step. Had this person been inside my flat before? Were there cameras inside? I felt like crying, but I quickly swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to keep my composure.
“It was alright.”
“I cooked us dinner.” I bit my lower lip and flinched as the man pushed off the wall, approaching me very slowly as if he waiting to see if I would run away or not. I did think of running away, but I had no idea whether he was armed or not, whether he’d try to kill me or not if I flee. Not that I was safer staying put, my last dying hope was in talking my way out of this.
“I’m starving.” I lied through my teeth as the man chuckled, a low rumble, and then finally stopped just a few steps in front of me. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up in his eyes, searching his face to familiarize myself with his features in case I do make it to the police to report him, but I was taken aback when I realized he seemed somewhat familiar. A sharp jawline and a Roman nose, asymmetrical eyes and a sharp gaze, I had seen him before. Months ago, perhaps at the coffee shop. Perhaps he was the man with the little girl. I needed a second to remember his name as my eyes stopped on the mole underneath his eye.
“Wooyoung?” I whispered uncertainly, flinching away when he reached a hand out towards.
“I knew you’d remember me, pretty girl.” He whispered smirking, a dangerous glint in his eyes as he touched my hair despite me trying to cower away, “Look at you, you’re prettier than I remembered you were.”
I gulped and tried to take a deep breath as Wooyoung stepped closer, making me back away, but then he was gripping my arm painfully and I froze, heart beating out of my chest in fright.
“Don’t lie to me.” Suddenly his voice dropped octaves and I shuddered as his grip tightened, making me wince, “How can you be hungry when you’ve been to a barbeque?”
“I didn’t eat much; I didn’t have an appetite.” I was quick with my lie as I tried to smile at him, arms covered in goosebumps as he traced his fingers down my skin, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. The quiet voice in my mind was loud now and my gut was twisting painfully, making me wish I had listened to the warnings before it was too late. Could I escape this man? What should I do now?
“Is that so?” Wooyoung hummed, grabbing my hand in his as I nodded wordlessly, my body refusing to move when he pulled me after himself. His hand was cold, his fingers decorated by chunky rings, “Won’t you have dinner with me?”
“Ye-yes.” I stuttered and forced my legs to move after him, to follow him towards the kitchen just around the corner as I desperately glanced towards my small hallway, wishing that I had some telekinesis powers to make my phone come to me.
“And how was your day, pretty girl?” Wooyoung’s voice was warm and pleasant as he led me inside the kitchen, making my mouth fall open in shock at the sight. The table was set beautifully with candles in the middle and a huge bouquet of white roses in a vase that wasn’t mine. Wooyoung walked me to the chair that was furthest from the door and pulled it out for me, smiling cheekily as I gulped and remained standing. He said nothing as our eyes met again under the candlelight and I was losing the battle of trying to stay calm as my muscles started contracting, my heart beating too fast. I felt trapped in my own flat, threatened and unsafe with a man that broke in and had been stalking me for almost half a year now.
“It was—what do you want?!” I snapped, finally losing my cool as Wooyoung just chuckled, leaning his hip against the chair as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
“You don’t have to be scared of me, if I wanted to hurt you, I would’ve done so a long time ago, pretty girl—”
“Stop calling me pretty girl!” My voice was shaky as I snapped, eyeing the table as I lunched for a knife before he could stop me. I held it in front of myself as I felt panic finally overtake my body and mind, making my hands shake uncontrollably and chest rise and fall rapidly.
“But you are a very pretty girl, Y/N.” Wooyoung pouted, looking down at the butter knife in my hand with an amused expression, “Since you seem scared, I’ll be honest with you. I want…you.”
I gulped as my eyebrows furrowed, growing more confused and scared by the minute. Wooyoung didn’t say anything else just stood up straight and stalked towards me with a confident stride, lips pulling into a menacing smirk again. I raised the knife as my hand shook, and lurched forward with zero intent of actually stabbing him, perhaps I hoped it would intimidate him. But before I could blink, he gripped my wrist harshly and twisted it until I dropped the knife with a pained cry, face scrunching up in pain as I was whirled around and immobilized by Wooyoung’s arms as he pulled me against his body, his warm lips pressing against my ear as his hot puffs of breath made me shiver. I was breathing loudly as Wooyoung hummed quietly, the hand that was still holding my wrist loosened slightly as his fingers started caressing my skin. It made my stomach churn as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it wasn’t working too well.
“Let go of me.” I tried to demand, but it came out as a helpless whisper and I felt Wooyoung’s lips press against my temple, making me flinch as I tried to trash around, but despite his lanky form he was strong. Way too strong, and I realized I had no chance of escaping unless he allowed me to.
“But if I let go of you, you will run, Y/N, and I can’t have that happening.” Wooyoung muttered and then sighed as if this was inconvenient to him, “I don’t want to watch you from the shadows anymore, I’ve done that enough. It’s time we get to know each other like normal people—”
“There’s nothing normal about this situation right now, Wooyoung.” I cut him off with a snare, trying to yank myself free again, “You’ve been stalking me for months.”
“Indeed,” Wooyoung confirmed and I felt like throwing up, “but that was because I had some pretty bad business to take care of first. If people would’ve seen us together they would have targeted you, and I can’t have that happening.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked in a whisper and stumbled forward as Wooyoung suddenly released me as I tugged against his arms again. I ran into a chair and caught myself just seconds before falling over. I eyed the exit as Wooyoung cleared his throat behind me.
“I have many enemies, Y/N.” Wooyoung spoke up with a casualty to his voice, and I glanced back and watched as he popped a grape in his mouth, giving me a questioning look, “Can’t have you kidnapped and tortured.”
That was all I needed to hear as I bolted towards the front door and tried to grab my bag too in the process, but realized I didn’t have time if I wanted to free myself. But as I threw the door open, I was met with two huge men blocking the doorway. They were dressed in black suits and had sunglasses on despite being inside. I gasped as they didn’t even look at me and whirled around as Wooyoung came walking to the hallway with a tsk rolling off his tongue.
“You’re making this more dramatic than it’s supposed to be, pretty girl.” I tried to scurry away from him but he marched up in my face in no time and grabbed the back of my head as I tried to fight him off, but as his eyes hardened, I knew it would be best to just obey him and stop fighting, “I like you and if you don’t stop trying to run away I will take you away with me by force, Y/N. I’m giving you two choices. One, you shut up about this and don’t go to the police, you let me take you out and we’ll see how our relationship develops from there on. Two, I knock you out right now and take you back to my highly guarded and isolated mansion and you’ll never see your loved ones or anyone you knew before. Which one will you choose?”
I was shaking as I tried to gulp, but my throat was dry and my eyes shook as they filled with tears as I clawed at his arm holding my head, “First option, I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”
“Good girl.” Wooyoung grinned as he bit his lower lip, eyes taking in my face as he leaned close until our foreheads pressed together, “I’ve been waiting for this since the moment I saw you cross the road and walk up to the coffee shop, ready to start your shift, Y/N.”
My heart stopped as a tear rolled down my cheek, “You’re insane.”
“I’m just a man bewitched by you.” Wooyoung retorted with a cackle and I yanked myself away as he released me and gave me a scrutinizing stare, “You don’t have to eat dinner, I know you’re full, but I’ll be back in the morning to take you out for breakfast. Now get some rest.”
I scowled when his lips touched my cheek and Wooyoung just chuckled and walked around me towards the bodyguards who stepped aside and made way for their boss. I turned to watch him with a frown, mind torn between what I should do next. But the wink he sent me before he closed the door and I heard his footsteps fade into the background, I knew Wooyoung wasn’t to be messed with. He really would kidnap me if I didn’t do as he wished. Just who is he and will I ever get away from him? What had I done to earn his attention? I fell to the ground as the tears finally fell free, wrecking my body painfully as I sobbed.
If I ran away, would he find me?
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Dennis Reynolds is AUTISTIC!!!!
(At least, I headcanon him as such).
Here's why:
Sensory issues:
If you've watched the show, you probably already know what I mean, but Dennis really struggles to deal with sensory input. When there's a loud noise, he often covers his ears- like in Family Fight:
or he gets frustrated, lashing out at diners for being too loud (The Gang Dines Out), getting annoyed at Frank for chewing gum too loud.
It's worth noting that later on in this episode, Dennis can hear Frank chewing gum from the other room. He's clearly hypersensitive, and perhaps this even goes to explaining a little bit why his room is soundproofed? Could it be that rather than not wanting people to hear what's going on inside, he's desperate to block the noise coming from outside?? (this was suggested by @kod-lyoko , and I LOVE IT).
There are SO many examples of Dennis plugging his ears (often when the others don't react in such a strong way):
There are way too many examples to list here, and too many images I could give (the above were taken from @dennisboobs ' gif set) but hopefully you get the impression.
Social issues:
I feel like this one is pretty self-evident, but I find deconstructing the things Dennis does super fun, so I'm going to explain anyway: Dennis does NOT know how relationships work. There are a great deal of factors at play to cause this (I would argue that his early experiences in life definitely moulded his view in an unhelpful way) but the systematic way he looks at interactions REEKS of autism to me.
The DENNIS system is hardly peak autism representation (it's certainly not the bright and bubbly stuff people often talk about), but the fact that he has a system for romantic/sexual interactions, both for men AND women, feels super autistic-coded. He quite literally has a script which he follows to make interactions easier, one which he sticks to rigidly. And if anybody tries to implement this carefully thought out system incorrectly? Well, he'll let you know (e.g in The Dennis System episode where he blows up at Mac and Charlie for not getting it right at the fair).
He masks his social deficits well, but sometimes things don't go to plan. Sometimes, the girl on the cruise ship runs away, and Dennis announces that 'that's not supposed to happen'.
He comes off as creepy, but that's not his intention. He doesn't understand the way he's perceived by others in general- he thinks he's the King of St Joseph's, not realising he was actually an outcast all along. Just like a lot of autistic people, he didn't understand that he was on the fringes of society until it was thrust in his face, and that hurt.
Speech:
While Dennis often appears to speak pretty normally, there are a few occasions where his frustration causes this mask of normality to slip.
In The Gang Finds a Dumpster Baby, Dennis is caught off guard by the hipster's reading of him, and immediately goes back to Frank and Charlie, parroting almost the same words he heard right back to them, despite not seeming to understand them at all (perhaps a form of echolalia?).
"I'm out here trying to make a difference, and you're over here rummaging around in the trash like a couple of narcs! Okay, you can't just come down here with your mainline cashmere, mousse... quaff... hairspray, and start being like, a suburban tool!"
It's also worth noting that even the poetic way he speaks when he's angry could be a trait ?? As a recently diagnosed autistic person, in my report they spoke about how I used 'idiosyncratic' language (basically, peculiar language lol), and listed terms like 'connoisseur', which I guess were deemed pretty formal for casual conversation.
And it got me thinking, who else do we know who uses VERY idiosyncratic language? Dennis. Reynolds.
"The thunder of my vengeance will echo through these halls, like the gust of a thousand winds"
"Begone, vile man, begone from me!... I am untethered and my rage knows no bounds!"
"You didn't tell me there was to be pollen!"
Etc... etc...
The way he repeats 'savages, idiots!' during his rage at the frat bros feels very autism coded to me. Repetition of certain words and phrases is common!
Heightened emotions:
Again, something that I didn't know until I myself was diagnosed is that for a lot of autistic people, we spend most of the time at a pretty 'flat' emotional state, but when we do experience emotions, we experience them intensely. Frustration turns into anger, sadness turns into despair, happiness turns into ecstasy- it's why some autistic people might be misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder!
This, of course, fits well with the way Dennis experiences emotions. He spends a lot of the time believing he doesn't have any at all, and when he does feel something, it's overwhelming.
"And I have feelings! Of course I have feelings, I have big feelings, okay? And it hurts."
These lines hit hard regardless of the extra weight you put on them, but when you see them through the lens of autism, through the lens of a lifetime of misunderstanding and overstimulation, it makes them hit even harder.
It hurts him to feel. His emotions are so strong that they're painful, and he's never been taught how to deal with them, because nobody even knew he had them in the first place.
Stimming:
Finally, I think Dennis stims. A lot. If you search up 'Dennis Reynolds autistic' on this very site, you'll find gifsets and videos illustrating this.
He has a few very common ones, like tugging on his earlobe when he's anxious, playing with his fingers, etc, but if you pay attention to him even when he's in the background of scenes, you'll pick up on a lot. Dennis is constantly moving, and while you could suggest this is simply a result of Glenn's ADHD, I'd argue that some of these stims happen so frequently in Sunny specifically, that there's no way they're coincidental.
Glenn makes a lot of very specific acting and directorial choices in Sunny, so why dismiss these as choices too?
That's all I can be bothered to type up now, but here's my case for Autistic!Dennis ! Of course, he's a complex character so there's always room for different interpretations...
but as an autistic person, I hereby claim him as One Of Us™.
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Notes from a 5-day creative writing course:
Motivation
Make it a habit. That way, each time that familiar voice of self-doubt makes its appearance, it’ll be easier to ignore it, because writing will become something that you do-your thing-and you’ll gain confidence in it.
Visit your novel every single day. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to write something every day. You could outline the plot, or write character portraits, or draw a special part of your world. Your subconscious will work on your story even when you don’t. So, each time you visit the story consciously, you’ll find that things have developed in the story.
Manage the time of writing in a way that it is manageable for you. (It can be that one hour between classes or your lunch break or the morning before you go to work or at night before you sleep - Schedule it in a way that suits you and then, be serious about it.
Set a goal. For example, 100 or 500 words a day.
Character Development, Word Choice & Description
At first, characters incarnate ideas. A poor man who wins the lottery, a young boy who travels to a magical land. As we develop the story, they become people - real people with backgrounds and unique choices.
Ways we perceive character: through actions, thoughts (conflict), dialogue, interactions with others.
Bring intentionality to the representation of a character. Don't give arbitrary information.
How a character reacts is a question of how you want to represent them through all those multiplicities that are dialogue, actions, interactions, etc.
Characters always want something. They are never static. With wants come obstacles and transformation.
Create tension between what a characters thinks, feels and says. For example, set external confidence and internal fear and then change that as the story develops. Characters can also be comfortable or scared depending on the situation.
Explore complexity. How a character talks to their lover is different from how they talk to their friends and family.
Give secondary characters a characteristic beyond their function to make them more prominent.
Make a hierarchy out of characters.
Exercise: Write the portrait of a character, how you would introduce them in the story and a description of them from a character that a) likes them and b) dislikes them.
Word Choice. When it starts sounding like writing, cut it out - Kill your darlings. Example: The car was spotted with rust - shows the car. As opposed to: The car was acned with rust - shows the writing. Sometimes a more refined word works against the object/image.
Description: Don’t just put in details. The details need to be significant for the image you want the reader to see.
Don’t use metaphors and lyricism in the expense of clarity. Be precise. Metaphors and similes should fit the narrative and not distract the reader. For example, saying “He barked like a dog” sounds fine, but if there are no dogs in your world, it is out of place and breaks the narrative. Be specific. Name things. Don’t be vague. Precision grounds your fiction.
Determine if you need static or lively description. Lively description is when you describe things through actions. Like “She passed her fingers through her blond hair”, instead of “Her hair was blond”.
Sense of authenticity. When you describe a place precisely, you gain your reader’s trust. A column is different from a golden column. That kind of attention gives a sense of authority and makes the narrative convincing.
Parts of description: smell, sound, sight, taste, touch, temperature, pressure.
Dialogue & POVs
Dialogue a) informs the character, b) moves the story forward, c) develops relationships between characters.
Dialogue isn’t just about how people talk.
What’s said can suggest what isn’t being said.
Use dialogue interspersed with description and visuals.
Choose the POV that suits your story.
(From David Lodge, ‘The Art of Fiction’.) A fictional story is unlikely to engage our interest unless we know whose story it is. Even with an “omniscient” narrative method, the writer should privilege one or two “points of view”. An objective approach may be a worthy aim in journalism, but not in fiction.
Pros and cons of 1st person POV. Pros: personal and direct, immediacy, intimacy, immediate credibility, easier to build character. Cons: limited, biased, unreliable, writing can become simplistic. When writing in 1st person, keep in mind that characters change, hence their perception changes. That has to be obvious in the narrative.
Pros and cons of 3rd person limited POV. Pros: thoughts can still be on the page, flexibility, wider view of the world, more complex language can be used (usually we think in simple words, so complex writing might sound pretentious and out of place in 1st person POV). Cons: distance (he/she).
GOD MODE. Or, commonly, 3rd person omniscient. You can jump in and out of characters’ minds, but there’s a danger when writing with such freedom. Be aware of structural harmony. Don’t write 10 pages in Sally’s POV and then jump into omniscient.
Use free indirect speech (1st person thoughts in italicized form, eg. No!) to eliminate the distance in 3rd person POVs.
Change POV with reason. Don’t suddenly jump to another POV just because it is interesting. Plan it. Make the change of the POV deliberate and make the reason clear.
Give equal weight to all POVs.
Setting
The setting of a story is mediated through a character’s experience. It amplifies the theme. It shouldn’t be an arbitrary decision. The setting can make achievements more difficult for characters.
For children, places have magical properties, they are places of significance. The place of someone’s childhood can transform later in the novel, because the character has transformed. There’s a fluidity of meaning attached to places. But keep in mind that, places don’t change. Characters do.
How a character views a place is stated through the language we use.
When writing about a place that exists, have fidelity at the facts.
Editing
Be open to ideas changing.
If it’s not working after 3-4 rewrites, cut it out!
Make sentences active. Things don’t happen to characters. They do things.
Pay attention to rhythm.
Every sentence needs to have a reason to be there.
Usually, we overwrite in dialogue. Use context. Dialogue should be suggestive, rather than explicit.
Edit backwards, because perfectionism kicks in at the beginning.
Isolate. Edit single parts of the story. A chapter, a scene.
Read aloud. It will help find long sentences, pretentious words and unreadable language.
When words become over-familiar, put it down, give it to someone else to read.
What to look out for: a) Character confusion. Make sure minor characters are introduced properly and find subtle ways to remind your readers who they are. b) Too much exposition. c) Plot holes, inconsistencies - there must rational reasons for coincidences, you must be able to provide logical and credible reasons behind the actions of a character. d) Over-written description.
What to do when editing: cut things out, put new things in, change sentence order and structure, look for repeated words, strengthen verbs (or prune), expand, trim, look for continuity errors, change order of events, introduce a delay in the reveals, rewrite using another POV or tense, determine if each sentence is pulling its weight.
Techniques: a) Prune. Delete text you don’t need. b) Isolate repetitions and delete or substitute with synonyms (look out for pretentious words). c) Cut and paste paragraphs to change order and rearrange. d) write a whole new draft, only looking to the previous one for factual material. e) Use a reader.
Bibliography
Hills Like White Elephants, by Ernest Hemingway (suggestive dialogue)
Concrete Island., by J.J. Ballot (how setting makes goals harder to achieve)
Driving Through Sawmill Towns, by Les Murray (lyricism, setting)
The Art of Fiction, by David Lodge (POV)
The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
On Writing, by Stephen King
#writing#writing reference#writing tips#writing advice#writers on tumblr#writing resources#writing tip#writing motivation#writing encouragement#writeblr#writblr#creative writing#writing community#writers#world building#point of view#editing#character creation#dialogue#mine.
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Have been pondering, following the latest round of "But why don't authors LIKE it when we leave unsolicited concrit on their stuff? :|a Don't they want to IMPROVE?" discourse:
How do fan authors improve? Because it's not, by and large, through concrit. Some authors have never gotten any kind of concrit, and still improve. I've gotten some in the past, and it definitely was not helpful towards improving my growth as an author. Some authors never have a beta, and yet they still improve.
So. If not through a workshop devoted to the process, or a classroom style series of lectures, or a dedicated editor, how do authors improve over time?
I would say, based on my 20+ years of experience and observation, that improvement as a writer comes in three ways: Practice shaped by self-observation, practice shaped by non-critical feedback as positive reinforcement, and observation of other authors.
Fandom has always been a space where people of different ages and skill levels interact. How it works, generally, is that a new author comes into the scene and presents their work. Readers -- some of whom are authors themselves -- will leave feedback praising the parts they like. Writers will then adjust their style on the next piece geared towards eliciting more of the things that readers said they like. However, in a vacuum, they won't necessarily know what to adjust towards, or what new things to try that they aren't already trying.
But at the same time, these young authors are usually (though not always) reading works by more experienced authors in the fandom. They can see, based on popularity stats and feedback left by others, what people like. If they want more of that attention themselves -- or, just generally, if they want to be part of the community -- they will adjust their works to incorporate more of the parts they perceive as successful with the audience.
They will also -- the more they read, and the more they write -- come to internalize an understanding (often, not even a conscious understanding) of the moving parts that go into a story, of what makes the work work. How to pace a scene, a chapter, or a longer work. How the characters talk, and how different characters talk in ways that distinguish their voices. What sort of language works well to describe an action scene, and what is confusing and uncertain. What words are sexy and what words will jar you right out of the mood. They will pick up these tools by observation, and hone them through practice.
The down side of this, of course, is that sometimes the authors they are observing and imitating may have... less than ideal writing habits themselves. Certain tropes, flanderization, headcanons divorced from the original canon, or various other things can become endemic in a fandom due to this -- but also much simpler and more straightforward writing quirks. (The infamous oh is an example of these.) Sometimes things that I won't necessarily say are bad, I will just observe that they are not correct.
And this is how you got an entire generation of fanfic writers using strong endings on verbs that, in modern English, take the weak ending.
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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}
Part 13.
Summary: As you promised, you spend the morning with Farleigh as moral support for Oliver's upcoming visit. Perhaps getting reasonably high and discussing your sex life wasn't the best move, all things considered, but it definitely seemed like a good idea at the time.
{ masterpost }
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: suggestive themes, kind of explicit discussions about sex, reader gets high and is high for the second half of the chapter (based on my experiences & understanding of weed)
A/N: 6673 words. OH WE ARE SO BACK. we get to spend more time with farleigh this chapter, i love him so very much omg. also the reader's experiences/behaviour while stoned is definitely reflective of my experience, and everyone experiences these things differently so that's that. also felix being down So Bad for the reader when they're high because of how fucking adorable he thinks they are??? man is In Love. but please, leave a comment letting me know how we're feeling about getting back into it after a break for some AU and oneshot shenanigans! next chapter will be from oliver's POV and im THRILLED about it.
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
----
On your first morning back at Saltburn, you wake to the smell of cigarette smoke. Felix is beside you, sitting up against his headboard, cigarette in one hand and book in the other. Groggily you lean over, bumping your forehead to his lowered elbow, and he smiles down at you. In the morning light, Felix is ethereal; at Saltburn, in his element, completely relaxed and at home, he glows.
You'd lost count of how many times you'd woken up next to him, it feels like hundreds, possibly thousands at this point, but something about this, the thousand and first, is different. Is better. Soon enough this dream-space will be broken by the idea of breakfast, and the anticipation of Oliver arriving, but right now you bask in this one, tiny piece of perfect.
Your room.
"My Felix," you mumble mostly to yourself in the morning light. It's more like a sigh, like a dreamy reminder of the Summer to come. Felix goes pink, which you don't even see, eyes closed and wearing a blissful, sleepy expression, half pressed to the pillow by his side.
You'll never be entirely privy to the ongoing thoughts of Felix Catton, no matter how well it may seem that you can read them. But you've always wondered. Sometimes you ask, and you know he wouldn't lie to you, but you always find yourself curious about the things he leaves unsaid. Not now, of course, now you're falling back asleep, but it's moments like this, moments you wonder about how he perceives the vague, offhand possessiveness - or overt possessiveness, if that afternoon you'd spent meticulously marking him said anything - you so frequently display. It's not always intentional. You wonder if he's ever found it off-putting.
It's never been a conversation the two of you have outright had; why not me? Why not only me? It's never had to be asked; beautiful, fanciful people should not be confined. What a shallow answer. Because you are the home I will always come back to, I promise, I promise, I promise. But there's no way to say that out loud. There never has been, even if you've both known it for years.
But none of that plagues you now; the bed and the early morning are both pleasantly warm. The heat from Felix sitting beside you is as comforting and familiar as is the smell of his cigarette amongst the fresh air from the open window. You're drifting back off for what little more sleep you could capture before the day begins, and you don't see the way Felix is watching you in this moment.
There are no eyes on Felix now, no-one to watch, no-one to judge. No-one else who knows how you smile when you sleep next to him.
Breakfast has everyone else in the house buzzing. Venetia's hungry-eyed across the table from Farleigh, her food practically untouched as she demanded as much information from him as possible after complaining about you and Felix being stubbornly tight-lipped. As you hear them gossip, you and Felix share an exasperated look at the edge of the room, you with two plates of food and him with two steaming mugs, before you both head back to the table.
"Y/N, dear," Elspeth cuts over Farleigh's sarcastic remarks about Oliver's fashion choices the minute you settle yourself down. Looking to her with a polite smile, as was custom, she smiles back, "Duncan has put together our Summer event schedule for you, would you still like it to be left in the lilac study?" You nod, quiet and grateful, trying to start on your breakfast before she adds, "as always we've made particular note of the events which your parents have been included as part of the guest list for, so please do just let us know ahead of time whether you plan to be in attendance also -"
"Mum," Felix hissed, to which Elspeth looked rather confused and startled, as if she couldn't understand what she'd done wrong. Pamela, as ginger as you'd ever seen her, and clearly having come back to the house despite not having been here over Christmas, looks to you with that doe-eyed softness that she always seem to have.
"Darling, I didn't know you had parents," she mused with her trademark far-away tone of voice. Her words, however, set off both Farleigh and Venetia, who couldn't help but laugh, and even Felix was grinning behind his mug.
"Of course they have parents, Pamela," Elspeth whispered loudly to her, clearly embarrassed on the woman's behalf, while you just tried to enjoy breakfast, and the absurdity of it all.
"No, I always thought-" Pamela frowned for a minute, looking between Elspeth and Sir James, "aren't they one of yours?" Her gaze turning back upon you, then to Felix next to you, "I recall something about you two being twins, isn't that right?"
"No, dear, that's not -" Elspeth is desperately trying to salvage the conversation despite Venetia all but crying with laughter. Both yourself and Felix, after sharing a vaguely horrified look about the whole situation, try to focus on your breakfasts, even as Elspeth continues, "Pamela please don't say something so crass at the table."
"What's crass about the idea of Y/N and Felix being twins, Auntie Elspeth?" Farleigh asks, wearing a smile that's all teeth as his Aunt freezes momentarily. Venetia's laughing has gone past the point of being audible.
Felix chokes on the coffee he's been trying to hide behind, right as your eggs go down your windpipe and send you into a coughing fit.
"When was Oliver set to arrive again?" Sir James asks like he's absolutely oblivious to the situation that has arisen at his breakfast table, instead lowering his paper to smile brightly at his son.
"Um," Felix takes half a moment to compose himself once more, before levelling a weak smile at his father, "I believe his train gets in at three."
"Wonderful," ever enthusiastic, James nods, "we'll have a car sent out and waiting for him." As if the Cattons have ever made anyone catch a taxi if they didn't have a town car of their own. Forever eager to be the perfect hosts.
"Do you think he even knows what a town car is?" Farleigh asks disdainfully, which sets Elspeth off and cooing about the sorry state of their upcoming guest, while you attempted to swat Farleigh's arm for his comment.
"Hey, no," he leans out of your reach, all but oozing contempt at the reminder of Oliver's impending arrival, "you're my ally in this today, you promised; no being bitchy about my opinions just because I don't want to save a horse, ride a pauper like you do -" even as you snap at him, the eyes of most of the table are on you in an instant.
"Farleigh," you snarled under your breath, feeling yourself growing flustered.
"You're a dreadful fucking pest," Felix frowns at his cousin around you, but Farleigh merely shrugged without even a shred of remorse. Several pairs of newly intrigued eyes are still fixed on you.
"Felix had mentioned that you were fond of Oliver, pet, isn't that right?" Elspeth began tentatively. You kind of wished your chair would spontaneously collapse beneath you, if only to give everyone something else to talk about. Alas, it remained sturdy, and you remained pinned like a butterfly beneath Elspeth and Venetia's gazes, "I never really thought to ask what you thought of the boy, which is foolish of me, he's your friend too, is he not?"
"Clearly," Venetia said, smile surprisingly wolfish.
Oliver's constantly searching eyes shine blue as the sky in your mind. Everything Oliver Quick says, does, and is, seems so deliberate; he's constantly a man with more thoughts than words, so you know that what he chooses to say always has meaning. You love that he's capable of directness that so many others will shy away from, but is able to chatter through small talk if it's to be had. He can read a room and let it affect his approach without feeling the need to change himself; that's why so many of your friends back at Oxford found him so off-putting. It's one of the things you loved about him.
Oliver is Oliver at the club, at the pub, walking to class, in the grocery store listening to you and Felix argue about pasta sauce, in your bed, smiling at you and kissing you and murmuring the kinds of things to you that none's ever taken the time to say, the kinds of things that makes your heart beat hard against your ribs and in your throat in a way that you don't get from people who aren't Felix anymore -
"Uh, yeah, he's a good friend," you shrug and try to seem as nonplussed about the discussion as you're able to, while your eyes are all but burning holes into your plate, "he's really quite lovely, and he's got such a beautiful, unique face; I think you'll be very charmed by him, Elspeth." Beside you, Felix coughs very deliberately to cover a laugh.
Chancing a glance at him, you're both pleased and vaguely mortified to see, not the jealousy you would have seen perhaps a week ago during a discussion like this where he is privy to far too much information about your feelings regarding Oliver. Instead, you see your best friend trying not to laugh at your casual act knowing your casual 'he's a good friend' and 'he's really quite lovely' actual means 'I've been absolutely railed by the young gentleman coming to stay at our house, so yes you could say I adore him'. This is much better than the jealousy. This is one of the many reasons you love having Felix as a best friend. You also desperately wished you weren't at the breakfast table with the entire rest of his family.
Elspeth, however, seems pleased enough by the answer to let you finish your breakfast in peace. Felix does too, but he's wearing this amused little knowing smile the entire time. Okay, if it means Felix isn't being weird and jealous about it, you'll take it.
After breakfast, you allow Farleigh to pull you outside to the picnic table you'd had installed in the middle of your favourite flower garden. He'd asked you to paint his nails, promising to return the favour, claiming to desperately want to spend his last hours of freedom surrounded by beauty while he could.
"You're mad at me," he says bluntly as you're concentrating on painting the nails on his left hand black. Like Freddy Mercury used to, he'd told you.
"No..." you murmured distractedly, trying to wipe carefully at where you'd gotten a bit on his skin.
"You don't have to be here," Farleigh could be heard rolling his eyes, and as you dipped the brush back into the bottle, you paused for a moment, looking up at him in genuine confusion.
"You asked me to spend time with you today," like it's the simplest thing in the world.
"You are aware that you're not actually a robot, right?" It surprises you how genuinely concerned he looks in this moment, leaning forwards, as if proximity would better impart the importance of his words, "you don't have to do just what everyone says; you have free will."
Looking down at the bottle, as if to continue your work and not to hide your expression, you once again tell him that you know. You move onto the next nail, and Farleigh falls silent.
It is beautiful out here. The garden itself that you found yourselves in was actually considered to be yours. It had been a birthday gift from James and Elspeth after hearing some of your idle musings as a late teen. It was an overwhelming offer, one you'd tried to turn down countless times; there were books about the Saltburn Estate as it was, they shouldn't allow you to alter it in any way! But they'd been terribly insistent. Our home is your home. You won't even lie; you started crying on the spot at that.
They'd asked you if you wanted to hire people to get it all taken care of, and while you'd accepted in part, the actual planting and initial maintaining of the garden itself was something you put an entire Summer into.
A circular design with a beautiful vine-covered arch as it's entrance, two thick rows of flowers in various shades of pinks, blues, purples, and whites bordering the outside, with a bubbling stream separating them. Smooth stones lead through the arch to a circular opening of lush, green grass, itself encircled by another small stream. The picnic bench sat at the back of the inner circle, while several small white chairs and benches with ornate tables between them sat either side, still leaving a generous patch of grass that you'd often had picnics on in the years since it's creation.
When you had come back over the following break after the garden had been completed, you see that a single statue had been placed flush against the back of the picnic table, between it and the edge of the stream, fitting perfectly. Far more understated than most of the other statues littering the Saltburn estate, it was of a young woman, her hair tied back and looking even to be quite short if you looked at it the right way, in a surprisingly shapeless toga, arm raised, hand poise to her mouth as if she's about to eat whatever's in her hand. Four large seeds. The figure looks gleeful at the prospect of eating them. The figure kind of almost looks like you. But you've always brushed it off; you're not that vain.
The Cattons have always had loved their mythology.
The family called it the Fairy Ring Garden, and Elspeth especially enjoyed hosting gatherings there.
Now, it was peaceful, just as Farleigh had hoped, smelling sweet even when the flowers weren't all in their full bloom. You cap the bottle, reaching for the top coat.
"They're not going to kick you out," Farleigh breaks the silence as you're shaking up the formula and waiting for his nails to dry. But his words have you stopping dead.
"I never said I thought they would..." you say slowly, while something uncomfortable begins to gnaw at your stomach. Farleigh's expression, while unimpressed at what he knows is a lie, is still full of that concern.
"But you do think it."
Logically, rationally, you know they won't. But you also know that you can't even bring yourself to say it in a way that was believable. Farleigh's looking at you like you're a puzzle he can't even being to solve, a friend with a problem he doesn't know how to talk through. So you ignore the comment altogether.
"I am mad at you," you say instead, looking up at him with a humourless smile.
"About... this?" He frowns.
"About implying that I have the hots for Oliver at the breakfast table, you dick," and you got back to shaking the nail polish as Farleigh laughs in that sharp and familiar way that breaks all the rest of the tension.
"I was not expecting breakfast to be such a shitshow," he wheezes with laughter, his free hand coming to rest on his chest as he kept his hand with it's black nails still on the table for you, "Pamela is a riot, God I love her."
"Where did she get the impression that Fi and I were twins?" You crows with amusement, which just set Farleigh off again, "and Elspeth's horror at the thought - did you see her face?!"
"I'm not even lying to you, I didn't realise she like, actually knew you and Felix were boning until she made that comment to Pamela -" Farleigh grinned with a scandalous little gasp.
"I hardly did either, except yesterday she got all weird about Fi and I officially sharing a room while Oliver was here, and it was clearly because she knew we sleep together; I have no idea how much she knows, or how long she's known, but she definitely knows," you offered with a smirk, while Farleigh ate up the gossip with glee.
As your focus returned to your work on the final layer of polish on his fingers, the conversation died down for several, serene minutes.
"Felix is going to show Oliver to his room when he arrives -" Farleigh's voice was unfortunately once more laced with disdain.
"Can I ask what your genuine problem is with him?"
It's quiet, but there's a distinct, irate hum from across the table after half a minute. Farleigh, when you glance up at him, is frowning down at his fingers, at you painting the final one, carefully cultivating his thoughts.
"There is an inherent unwillingness to engage in the stylistic aspects of, well, everything, despite how he is a constant, lurking watcher of the world, and must still see the value that is placed on it, that I find... off-putting," he says very carefully, and the minutes you've finished his nails, he picks up the base coat from the table and starts shaking it, waiting for you to present your hands for him to return the favour. "He acts like this weak, little mouse, but he's the cat, always watching every fucking thing, judging all of us but pretending like he's not and he's innocent. He's like you, but at least you're upfront about it," it's not a surprise when he finishes your first hand and looks up to gauge your reaction.
It's the second time someone's compared you to Oliver. Somehow you think you like this comparison better. Still, it feels strange to hear. Farleigh only waits for half a second, however, before he starts on the next hand.
"You..." you too carefully pick your next words, "have clearly put some thought into this."
"Adriana is going to hear a lot about Oliver tomorrow in our session; I'm trying to put some of the work in before I get there," he says flatly, though you can't help but genuinely smile.
"Adriana?"
"Therapist; phone session scheduled for tomorrow. Organised it before I knew about yours and Felix's little coup of my Summer, but I'm more than glad for it now."
"You're still going to those sessions? Good for you, man."
"Yeah, mom and Uncle James thought it might help me stick it out at Oxford," he sucks his teeth loudly for a second, "guess they were right." Then, without even looking up, "she still think you need therapy too," he practically sings, and you hum noncommittally. Farleigh's mentioned once or twice that the few times he'd brought you up in his own sessions, his therapist had seemed reasonably concerned about you. You had chosen to ignore it before, and you would continue ignoring it now.
"You brought weed, right?" That was the other thing about the Fairy Circle Garden, it was tradition to get high if it was any combination of the four of you children. Farleigh grins as he finishes off your left hand, both because your obvious attempt to dodge his statement, and because yeah, obviously.
"Let me finish your nails first; did you bring your iPod?"
"Of course."
You'd chosen a pale, gold polish, something almost close to a cream colour, that sparkled in the light, and spent the entire time Farleigh was furiously searching his pockets for his lighter admiring them.
In the afternoon sun, you and Farleigh lay in the grass of the Fairy Circle Garden, sharing a joint and listen to a shuffled mix of Queen songs. Elspeth had put one of their albums on after dinner, which the whole family let themselves enjoy, and it had been on all your minds ever since.
"Can I ask you something?" Farleigh mumbles, holding his hand up to the sky to admire the shiny, black polish adorning his nails.
"My dearest Fars," you grinned widely at him, "you can ask me anything ever in the world; it's me, you know this, but -" you turn faux serious, though only for a second, taking back the almost finished joint, "now you can ask me anything." And you breathe deeply, letting the smoke sit in your lungs, passing the last of it back to Farleigh. He takes his time, however, and your head swirls the longer you let the smoke settle in your lungs.
"I genuinely cannot picture Oliver being any fucking good in bed," he blurts out, and turns to you; unfortunately there's a look in his eyes that's genuine rather than disdainful, "granted," he amends, seemingly actually reasonable about this, "sometimes my mind does replace him with the puppet version of Pinocchio, from the cartoon - I'm actually not trying to be mean here, my brain just does that -" while you're actually rolling on the grass with laughter, both from his apparent situation, but also because the weed has definitely already hit you.
"Farleigh, oh my god -"
"Stop it," he's starting to sound genuinely distressed, "I've had sex with you, I know what you've got going on down there; I can't stop vividly imagining you getting puppet dick!" Your attempts to comfort him aren't particularly successful when you're still cackling even as you try and hug him. At least he accepts it, returns your hug despite sulking at your continued laughter. Then, and you can actually hear him getting over his distressed bit as he adds, "it's wooden, right? And it grows like his nose?"
It takes you a full five minutes to calm down from your laughter once more, but at least this time Farleigh's laughing too.
"Christ, Fars -" you're wiping tears of laughter from your eyes, sitting up, your legs crossed. Farleigh is still stretched out, lounging on his side and propped up on his elbow, "I'm never going to be able to watch Pinocchio again."
"Now you know how I feel," he shrugs, "and that was before I knew you'd -"
"Whatever weird, possible puppet-based euphemism -"
"Oh, you know me so well," he smirked, though the look in his eyes is warm.
"- I'll pass on," a lull comes in the conversation, and you lay yourself back once more. Checking your watch, you're surprised that there's still quite some time before lunch, "why would I lie?" You lower your arm, and prop your hands behind your head. Farleigh makes a confused noise, "about Oliver; do you think I'm lying?"
"My dearest Y/N," he echoes your tone and affection from minutes earlier, before sliding to his more familiar cadence, "you can, will, and have gotten in bed with every person who's caught your fancy. I have watched you transcend sexuality literally all over the globe, and I know from countless personal experiences - thank you by the way - that you rate sex by how good you can make your partner feel," he looks up at you for just a moment where he's laying on his back like he's remembering those countless personal experiences and you do not have the self restraint to not roll onto your side to face him, to watch him. Farleigh both knows what you're doing, while also finally making his point; "I don't think Oliver Quick is good in bed, I think you just made that man find God."
It's quite the compliment, and if it were anyone else, he'd probably be right.
"Fars-" your smile widens bashfully, and he has to close his eyes for a moment, shaking his head.
"Don't say my name like that, you're derailing the conversation," he mumbles, sounding rather bashful.
"Like what?"
"The way you do when you're high," he huffs an embarrassed breath, cracking an eye open to look at you. You hadn't realised that there was any special way that you would say it, but you apologise faintly, shifting yourself to lay at an angle, your head on his chest, facing him. Farleigh closes his eyes again, wearing a faint smile as he runs his fingertips up and down your arm in a soothing, repetitive gesture. Which does nothing but feel like teasing in your current state.
"Why do you care so much about Oliver's dick-game?" You try and focus. It catches Farleigh off guard, judging by his bark of laughter.
"As you have so thoroughly pointed out at least twice by now, the man has a limited number of features that would be arguably hot on someone with a better personality -"
"Oh, right," you nodded, "your repressed crush on my poor friend who you hate," tone flat, you brace for whatever response you know you will get, but still yelp when you receive a hard pinch on the arm. "Those are some big words, by the way; Adriana should give you a gold star - ow! Fine!" You pout, doing your best to cross your arms despite not actually moving yourself from Farleigh. It takes a few beats, but you hear the faintest laugh echo in Farleigh's chest, and moments later he returns to idly running his fingers up and down your arm.
The moment settles around you both, and you let your eyes fall closed. This moment of contentment almost mirrors the one from this morning, but your head swirls too much for it to be entirely perfect.
"I'm not lying," you finally say. Farleigh makes a noise of interest. Eyes still closed, you're kind of willing to bet his are too, "you said so yourself; Oliver's like me, he... watches," you wet your lips, hesitating for a moment, "he listens."
"But you listen," Farleigh says like the equation isn't adding up in his mind. God why did you have to talk about this in the first place, now all you can think about is Oliver, Oliver, Oliver -
Harder, he'd actually listened. Hold me here. Listened. This angle. You can bend me like this. Pull. Bite. Move. Fuck.
You had to open your eyes; Farleigh is watching you, half seemingly aroused by whatever picture he has in his head, half still relatively confused. Every sensation in your mind feels tenfold right now, you could have said any number of things to prove your point, but there's one that sticks. Slowly, you sit up, half bracing yourself over Farleigh, hands planted in the grass either side of him as your silhouette blocks the sun from his face.
"Fars," you've already forgotten that there's something about that nickname that always gets him, even soft and serious like this, "Ollie's the first person outside of Felix who's made me cum before they've gotten the chance to finish in my entire memory."
Farleigh, who'd been grinning up at you, gently running his fingertips across your cheek and down your jaw, actually looks a little stunned.
"That can't be right." He mutters faintly. Your answering expression is grim and telling, "oh my god," with the exact tone of someone discovering shocking, world altering news about situations far less trivial, but the apology in his eyes and faint horror in his voice is rather amusing.
"Doomed to the life of a - what did you call me that one time?" You grinned despite yourself, sitting back a little, "a service bottom?"
"Oh my god I definitely did!" Farleigh lights up at the memory, glad too for the breaking of tension once more, and you rather eagerly add.
"So it was nice to be, you know, be listened to, taken care of the way I kind of take care of people?" You try to put it to words, "but I still- uh, I think I was just a regular- um -"
"Oliver Quick; service top," Farleigh muses like it's of great importance, which is enough to make you laugh once more. But your arms are getting tired of holding you up, and your self restraint is worn past the point of no return, so finally you lean down to kiss him. Farleigh grins against your lips, "hey."
"Hi," you murmur, everything about you radiating a syrupy kind of fondness, "I'm not mad at you."
"Clearly," Farleigh chuckles faintly, pulling you back in. The second day of Summer and it feels like freedom already, and of Summers long passed. Getting high and making out in the Fairy Circle Garden is not an unfamiliar experience, and you'd always considered it a good way to pass the time. In your mind, it seems like a great idea at the time to share another joint together; you end up with Farleigh's knee between your thighs by the time you realise that you're almost late for lunch.
"Oh my god, Fars, they're going to kill us," you couldn't contain your laughter as you briskly made your way back to the house.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Farleigh called out from a few feet behind, and you stopped, looking at him with concern for his urgent tone. Instead, he swooped in with a grin to give you one more kiss before passing you, "they're not going to care," he adds.
"They're so going to care!" You hissed, voice a guilty mix of concerned and amused as you stepped into the house. Then, after a moment, "I care if they know!"
"That is not something I can help you with, pet," Farleigh shrugged, "but I think they might care about the grass stains on our clothes." And with that he swans away, radiating a bright confidence that you can't help but be endeared by in this moment, that distracts you, if only for a second, from your nerves.
Back in your room, the nerves set in tenfold when you find Felix to be there as well.
"How's Farleigh coping?" He asks with a pleasant smile.
Be totally cool and stealthy and not high right before Oliver's meant to arrive. You can do this.
"Surprisingly well," you responded cheerfully, raising your hands to show off your nails, "we listened to Queen," maybe a non sequitur, but not an incriminating one, you tell yourself, "and..." frowning for a moment, you pull at the shoulder of your shirt, trying to examine it for the grassy faux par Farleigh had been accusing you of. As you're trying to figure out if you really do need to change, it appears that your mouth takes on a mind of it's own, adding, distractedly, "... grass stains. Fi-" you look to him with sudden intensity, not having realised that in your attempt to see the back of your shirt, you'd tried to turn to get a better look, like a dog chasing it's own tail, "Fi, is there grass on me?"
Felix, taking you by the shoulders to steady you, is giving you a truly bemused look. It's enough for you to already be pulling away from him, stripping off your shirt to look in your drawers.
"I'm going to kill Farleigh," but you can hear his exasperation is highly coloured with amusement. He chuckles faintly, "and you, probably."
"Ooh~" you mused mostly to yourself, "see, I told Farleigh this would happen," you clicked your tongue as you squinted into the drawer for the perfect replacement. Then, very suddenly, you processed all of what Felix had said; "and boo, don't kill me," you pout, pulling out a button down and taking a few moments to check the size on the tag to see if it was yours or Felix's, "I'm capable of a great many things, Felix," you tell him matter-of-factly as you pull the shirt on. Satisfied with your change in wardrobe, you look to see him sitting on the end of the bed, looking thankfully endeared by your antics, "and we're late to lunch, almost," despite how you strode over to him with purpose, standing yourself between his legs, arms draped around his neck, "poor form showing up late, covered in blood, and with a dead friend in the other room;" he can't help himself, he laughs, wrapping his arms around your waist, looking up at you with the most loving exasperation in his eyes. However the sound of his laughter is absolutely what you would consider a victory, "see, don't kill me I'm occasionally funny."
"You're so fucking high." He laughed a little helplessly. Drat. At least he seemed to find it funny, leaning forward to press his face against your chest for a long moment as he let out a faint sigh. Felix is warm, his breath on your skin through the fibres of your shirt, his arms around you, knees pressed against your legs; Summer is sweltering, and if he were anyone else you'd be extracting yourself in an instant, but you want to melt into him in this moment.
"Shh," you stage whispered, petting his head, "don't tell Felix, we've got an important guest arriving today," and he looks up to see the apologetic smile you wear as you run your fingers through his hair. You drop the bit, "it seemed like a good idea at the time, then I..." you hummed for a moment, frowning, "lost track of... it. Time."
Felix's gaze softens as he looks at you, eyes shiny and pupils blown wide, holding him so tenderly. Does he even know that he looks at you like that? Does he know how much it means to you?
"You make it frustratingly difficult to - we have lunch-" he has to firmly remind you, even though he is grinning and endeared by your antics, as you bring one leg up over his, knee settling beside him on the bed. Your smile is only guilty because you know it should be, not because you feel any kind of actual guilt. You bring your knee off the bed, but are now straddling his thigh.
"We have lunch," you parrot back with a nod. But Felix's hands are still on you, still wrapped around you and holding you to him, watching you with this look like he's endeared, like he's almost mesmerised by you in this moment; you, who keeps echoing 'we have lunch' until it starts to lose all meaning, and you kind of forget that you're still just standing in your room with Felix, until you're chanting those three words under your breath like a little song that you're bopping along to. Any real thoughts had absolutely left your head about a minute ago.
Felix is watching you with that look in his eyes like he's never loved anyone more in his life.
"I am so hungry," you finally broke out of your little, strange trace, before lighting up, "oh my god we have lunch!" Suddenly enthused, as if you'd forgotten the entire few minutes that had just passed, you step back. Taking Felix's hands, you pull him to his feet as he laughs sweetly, "come on," tugging him through the halls, he lets you lead him by the hand, "once we finish lunch it means its almost time to see Ollie, and we love Ollie!"
Very suddenly three rooms away from the dining hall, you stop. The pace you'd set was eager, so Felix practically crashes into you without a warning, and has to catch you both on a doorframe. You've got your hands flat on his chest, the airy, pale linen shirt he'd chosen for the warm day, staring at them as he's braced over you. Then, very suddenly, your focused expression breaks into a smile like the sun from behind a cloud, looking up at him with absolute joy.
"We match."
He looks down; your nails, his shirt, almost identical shades, though your nails still sparkle faintly.
"I should have said I was stopping," you added, though neither of you had moved. You were still looking at your hands; "I should say more of the things that I think in my head out loud." Then, after a long few moments, and Felix continuing to indulge you, he hears you mutter, "I can feel your heartbeat in my hands."
You should definitely move and go to lunch and not stand here and be close to Felix for an infinite amount of time even if you know that Felix loves you and would definitely indulge you and would let you stay in this space and this moment and this close to him forever and ever if you asked. None of which you say out loud. Instead, what comes out is -
"I like that we match," and you drag your hands down his chest to take the hem of his shirt between your fingers, momentarily tugging on it as Felix finally stepped back.
"You're an absolute terror," he says fondly, taking your hand.
"Yes, but I'm your terror, fuck-o," you tell him with a childish kind of glee, and Felix was rather glad you couldn't see the way the silly little sentiment had made him melt.
As much as he adored the way you became overwhelmingly talkative, loving, and bold whilst high, he still had to stop you both outside of the dining hall to remind you to tone it down.
"Mum and dad can't know," Felix insisted, and you nodded very seriously.
"Mum and dad can't know," you agreed in a whisper, collecting your composure as best you could. For the record, you did pretty good; you didn't serve yourself an ungodly amount of food despite how hungry you were, you used the correct knives and forks even if it took you about twenty seconds of squinting to identify which would be best, and you made a point to be pretty much monosyllabic in conversation. It was working. For the most part.
"It's such a wonderful day, such a lovely omen," Sir James cheerfully gazed through the large windows in the dining hall, clearly glad for the sun.
"Yes, I forgot how beautiful it is to see you all taking advantage of the grounds on days like today," Elspeth added, "I think I saw you two heading out there," looking up, you see her gesturing to yourself and Farleigh with a polite smile, "how was it?"
"A beautiful place to cope with Oliver's impending arrival," Farleigh says through a humourless smile. Venetia leaned over her plate to leer at you both.
"Fucking in the Fairy Garden again?"
"No," you replied arguably too forcefully, mouth half full of food and gaze focused on your plate, terrified of giving away your state right now. Pamela, across the table, spluttered into her tea.
"Venetia," Elspeth admonished, scandalised. However, as much as you were trying to act normal, considering your relationship with three of the individuals at the table, it didn't register until it was too late that your normal may not be everyone's normal at the table -
"It's the middle of the day, Ven, I have a sense of propriety when the sun can see me," then, clearly losing your grip on self restraint while Venetia grins upon seeing her mother's exasperated face momentarily in her hands, you leaned a touch closer to Farleigh, "oh, and Felix is going to kill you."
"I'll add it to my calendar," Farleigh rolls his eyes with a smirk.
"I'm going to kill you both," Felix himself chimes in blithely.
"See, I told you so," you again leaned in to Farleigh, who just gave you a fond, amused smile in response.
"What?" Comes Elspeth in the lull, unsurprisingly befuddled, "Felix, darling, why are you killing your cousin and Y/N?"
"No reason!" You respond jauntily with a sincere, sweet smile. It seems like Elspeth's trying to decide if she should be concerned or not. After a long moment, she decides to accept that it's a joke.
"Well don't do it where I can see," she sits back primly, "or if you must, I request it not be bloody."
"I'll exsanguinate myself in preparation," Farleigh says flatly without missing a beat. No-one at the table had been expecting anything like that, and the mood breaks, turning as light as the sky outside, with the sound of everyone's laughter.
#felix catton x reader x oliver quick#felix catton x reader#saltburn x reader#saltburn imagine#felix catton imagine#felix catton x y/n#felix catton x you#oliver quick x reader#farleigh start x reader#farleigh start imagine#oliver quick imagine#oliver quick x y/n#oliver quick x you#head heart hand fic#manic writer
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hi there! i saw a post you made ages ago about gender not necessarily being a static thing and being something that can change over a person’s lifetime.
excuse my ignorance in this but do you think that is something that applies to a person’s sexual orientation as well? i always appreciate your insight on these topics.
also, apologies if anything is worded strangely. english is not my first language.
no worries, i can understand u perfectly! and my short answer to ur question is yes
longer answer is i don’t think anyone is born w some innate metaphysical identity that they can unearth to discover their True Self; i think sex, gender, and sexuality are largely socially constructed, though obviously materially rooted. the comparison i sometimes make to explain this to students is to think about an accent—certain physical aspects influence accent (mouth shape, vocal chords, etc) but ultimately the accent a person has is almost entirely shaped by the world around them; babies aren’t born with some “true” accent they have to discover about themselves. but that doesn’t make a person’s accent any less real or “natural”!
i think where some people get defensive abt the idea that sexuality isn’t necessarily static or innate is that oftentimes conservative voices have used this specifically to say that being gay is a phase, etc. this is a very clever trick, in which heterosexuality is enshrined as “natural” and any sexuality departing from that is a phase, a choice, etc, such that many queer people have found themselves cornered into arguing that queerness is also natural and innate, just like heterosexuality. but the ‘born this way’ narrative will ultimately not lead to liberation, because it fails to question the basic premise that heterosexuality is natural and innate; in reality heterosexuality is just as constructed and contrived as any other form of sexuality, and in fact we often see the lengths that people must go to in order to hide this fact. kinda like the wizard of oz behind the curtain (the invention of heterosexuality by jonathan ned katz is a great book abt this!)
the other sticking point i think people often have with this concept is that they think saying sexuality isn’t innate means people can just pick & choose who they’re attracted to. but that’s not how social constructs work! again, going back to the example of accents, just because an accent is socially constructed/developed does not mean that people can just snap their fingers and get a new accent. this is because social constructs are grounded in material realities and have material effects; they’re not just playing make-believe. money is another good example of a social construct that has very real and tangible material effects; i can’t just take monopoly money to the store and buy something.
so…yeah. i think sexuality can be just as fluid as gender. maybe you’ll be attracted to something at one point in your life and that’ll change over time, or maybe you’ll identify with one sexuality and then later figure out a different label works better for you. when it comes to queer politics & queer communities, i really don’t see a point in trying to nitpick or analyze whether someone is REALLY x sexuality, or what the “correct” label is for someone to use, bc i find labels more useful for identifying shared struggles than for like. unearthing buried metaphysical truths about identity lol. i also have found that i personally am much happier not worrying about figuring out my “true” sexuality and just using whatever label best fits my experiences & how i’m perceived in the world
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As I said earlier, I'm currently playing Astarion origin, and to be honest, he seems a little ok (too ooc, however, because I am always a good guy) but there are some things that give me pause. However, this is a slightly different story, so… the main topic is that scene with magic now.
I still consider Astarion of the first act to be selfish, manipulative and generally not a good person, pursuing only personal gain and only caring about his own safety (but who is capable of changing under the influence of friends or his love interest in other acts) tho I can agree that he would have tried to seduce Gale anyway. Since I prefer a world without Tav, Gale would be the best option, although Astarion would have to work hard to seduce him. Because Gale seems to be not the one into one night stands (and…I see him bottoming). And imagine them getting to know each other better right during all these seduction attempts. I love this moment when you catch Gale in a vulnerable position and he literally opens up to you and talks so enthusiastically about the weave and magic…
Imagine when Gale invites Astarion to feel the weave, and Astarion says “yes” just so he can have more chances in seducing the wizard. And he doesn’t expect he will like it so much. All these warm pleasant sensations
"you feel something strange like a kind word and a kind touch at the same time. It's warm and comfortable."
I think for Astarion, who hardly experienced anything like this in the last two hundred years of his slavery, this would be a small miracle. A long-forgotten feeling of love and comfort, and Gale is the one who brought this feeling back, at least for a moment.
a "feeling of well-being"
a "feeling of being safe"
No, I mean it, just imagine how his feelings for Gale could change in just one moment! And Astarion, who was only thinking about how to quickly seduce him and use him, suddenly imagines this “concept of complete harmony”
a strange feeling of anticipation of a kiss, followed by peace.
A peace he hadn't felt for years.
It seems to me that it was the very moment when Astarion would have realized he no longer wanted to seduce Gale, because just sex would no longer be enough, not when Gale looked at him with such eyes.
Most likely this is not love yet, but the beginning of it. Moreover,
“the weave connects you. A momant feels intimate”
And Astarion, completely unexpectadly, imagines kissing Gale (a guy he wnted to use) tenderly and passionately, and there is no lust in this kiss, there is passion in it, that bright, long-forgotten feeling of love. But an even greater surprise for him would be that Gale, the one who did not take his seduction seriously, was not at all opposed to kissing back, moreover, this thought arouses no less delight in him. I think Astrion will have a lot to think about after this.
And Gale’s phrase “it’s amazing how easily what we managed to get with such difficulty eludes us” will stay in his head for a long time. And let’s not forget about “a furtive glance, a sudden flutter of the heart… Sometimes little things are worth more than entire kingdoms.” This is not only a good idea for their story, but also describes a possible relationship. After such words, Astarion will no longer be able to perceive him as someone whom he simply wanted to use or seduce. From now on he wants this man for himself. And this will most likely scare him, but only for a short moment.
#bg3#bg3 astarion#bg3 gale#baldur's gate 3#bloodweave#astarion x gale#astarion ancunin#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep
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How the Todorokis call each other (Part 1)
So since I researched for it for my fic here are a bit of the words the Todorokis use to call/talk about themselves and each other in the Japanese manga (occasionally comparing it with the English translation).
Note that I won’t report names that are too general (when one of the children talks of them as his father ('chichi' 父) or his mother ('haha' 母) or when they refers to their family ('kazoku' 家族) and that sometimes, in English, the characters seemed to call someone in a certain way but the same didn’t apply in Japanese.
In order to make things simple I’ll group the characters when a Japanese term is used multiple times, so as to explain what it means only once. In part 2, as well as ending with the list of ways they call each others, I’ll put a summary for each character, so that if you want to know what a specific character use, you can do it more quickly.
Just remember the Todorokis, being a family, tend to use casual speech to talk among them, so they use many words which would be rude if they were to use them with other people but which are perfectly okay between family members. Also in the Japanese family hierarchy, Enji is above his children and wife, Rei is above her children and, in regard to the children, older siblings are above younger siblings.
It's worrth to say I’m not Japanese. The explanations of Japanese terms come from me reading plenty of Japanese dictionaries and grammars but I might have done mistakes or missed something... or missed some way the Todorokis used to refer to each other (as there's actually plenty of quotes). Consider yourself warned and feel welcome to write me if you think I missed something.
HOW DO THEY SAY “I”
Ore (俺/おれ Lit. “Oneself”)
In normal situations all the Todoroki males use ‘ore’.
This term is the most casual form of self-address used by men, which establishes a sense of masculinity. It can be seen as rude, depending on the context, as it’s suitable for conversations among close friends or relatives but not in polite conversation. It emphasizes one’s own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than masculinity or superiority. It was used by both genders until the late Edo period and still is in some dialects.
It’s notable how Tōya used ‘ore’ even before Natsuo’s birth so when he was 4 or younger (Natsuo was born after he turned 4). Very likely, despite being so young, he was copying his father’s speech pattern.
Watashi (私/わたし Lit. “One own person”)
If the male Todorokis use ‘ore’, the female Todorokis use ‘watashi’.
Don’t mistake ‘watashi’ for a female only way to say “I”. Only in casual speech, it is typically only used by women because if used by men in casual context it may be perceived as either stiff or feminine however, in formal or polite contexts, this is gender neutral (for example All Might uses it, his catchphrase “I am here” in Japanese is ‘watashi ga kita’ 私が来た lit. “I have arrived”).
That’s also why in chap 306, when speaking with the press, Enji switches to ‘watashi’ so as to sound as polite/formal as possible (before switching to ‘ore’ again when he tells them to watch him) and, in the anime, they also had him use ‘watashi’ in episode 46 when he answered to the phone so as to convey he was being formal/polite.
Boku (僕/ぼく Lit. “Servant”)
Used by males of all ages and very often used by boys (for example Midoriya uses ‘boku’ hence the title ‘Boku no Hero Academia’… but All for One also uses it so it’s not just for boys), ‘boku’ is perceived as humble and therefore polite, but can also carry an undertone of feeling young when used by males of older age. In addition to this it’s also used when casually giving deference.
Why I included ‘boku’ in this list if I said all the Todoroki males use ‘ore’?
Well, we actually have some exceptions in which they used ‘boku’.
Differently from Tōya who used ‘ore’ from a very young age, Shōto as a child of 5, used ‘boku’, likely not having the wish to emulate his father’s speech pattern. Interesting enough we know however that Tōya, as an adult, used ‘boku’ when he made his whole speech to the nation which was transmitted during the final stage of the Paranormal Liberation War Arc as, during it, he changed his normally rude speech pattern for one much more polite and humble.
Lastly, although not really a Todoroki but still related to them in a fashion (he’s probably a cousin from Rei’s side since he’s also an Himura), Geten regularly uses ‘boku’.
Their own name
Normally used by small children it’s however also a very feminine and kind of childish way to refer to oneself.
Fuyumi, before Natsuo’s birth therefore when she was 3 or younger, used not ‘watashi’ but ‘Fuyumi’ to refer to herself.
Kono (この “This”) + their own name or personal pronoun
In chap 55 when Enji tells to Gran Torino he will be enough to beat the Nōmu, Enji uses ‘kono Endeavor’ (このエンデヴァー “This Endeavor”). In English this comes out odd and, considering what was said before, you might think it’s either childish or girlish but in this case, with the addition of ‘kono’ the sentence actually remarks the name in a “no one else but Endeavor can do it” way. In the same way in chap 154, when Enji uses this time ‘kono ore’ to tell Hawks if he really believed he was in troubles, it remarks ‘me’ although this time is in the opposite way as to imply “everyone else but him would be in troubles”.
FATHER (父) AND MOTHER (母)
There are various ways in Japanese to say “father” and “mother” that vary for levels of politeness.
Okā-san (お母さん/おかあさん “Mother”)
The addition of the initial ‘o’ (お) and the ‘–san’ (さん) at the end tell us this is a polite way to refer to her, although, since it’s the most common way to call your mother in Japan, even though technically it’s closer to “mother”, it’s perfectly fine to translate it as “mom”, which is currently the most common way to call your mother in English. Note that ‘okā-san’ can also be used to talk about someone else’s mother or for your mother-in-law. Rei is referred as such by all her children, regardless of their age, and even calls herself as such when talking with a young Tōya. Plus this is also how she calls her mother. In the English manga occasionally you also see her called as “mommy” but in Japanese she’s always called ‘okā-san’ only and not in a less formal way (kā-san, okā-chan, kā-chan, mama) and the choice to occasionally translate ‘okā-san’ as “mommy” is likely because the translator felt it would be more fitting for a young child to use it.
Kā-san (お母さん/おかあさん “Mother”)
Same as before but the lack of the initial ‘o’ makes it slightly less polite/formal. It's how Enji calls Rei when talking with Fuyumi. Natsuo will also call Rei as such when telling Enji not to stay close to her and the others or he'll only heat them up further in chap 421. Interesting enough, it's also how Īda calls his mother, even though the English version goes for a more formal "mother".
Otō-san (お父さん/おとうさん “Father”)
This is the equivalent to ‘okā-san’ for fathers … but it’s not equally popular as ‘okā-san’ in the Todoroki house. Like ‘okā-san’, 'otō-san' would be closer to "father" but it's okay to translate it "dad" and the English translator occasionally decided to translate it as "daddy" when it was a small child using it. Notably, of all of Enji’s children, only Tōya and Fuyumi still use it, while Shōto, as a child of 5, used it but now doesn’t anymore. Also Rei called Enji as such when talking with a young Tōya.
Oyaji (親父/おやじ “Father” or “Old man” lit. “parent father”)
This is a rather nuanced word. Let’s say it’s a more colloquial-sounding way to say “father” which can also used to refer to middle-aged or elderly men. It’s not exactly rude (though some Japanese people consider it as such) but it’s definitely very informal, similar to saying “my old man” in English but (often) without an affection. Again, it's nuanced and depends on the contest. Within one’s own family, teenage and older children, especially males, tend to start using the term to address their fathers at home. In public though, older children will typically call their own fathers ‘otō-san’. Using such word in many cases gives a ‘rough guy’ vibe. Teenager Shōto uses it to talk with or about Enji, regardless he's at home or not, and he’s clearly doing it because he refuse to show him respect, opposite to how he still call Rei ‘Okā-san’ instead than the ‘oyaji’ equivalent, ‘ofukuro’ (お袋). This contrasts sharply with Tōya, who instead regularly uses ‘otō-san’ (though if he does so in a mocking way or as a call back to the past since the past never dies it’s up to speculation) and uses ‘oyaji’ only in a couple of circumstances (chap 301 and 390). In chap 301 he’s clearly trying to keep distance from him as he speaks to himself since he calls him ‘oyaji’ and ‘Todoroki Enji’ instead than his usual ‘otō-san’. In chap 390 he’s being deliberately as rude as possible as he tells him to die. More about it later. It's possible Natsuo would also use 'oyaji' to call Enji, though so far we only saw him either calling him by his Hero name or using 'anta' (あんた) to call him. More about it later.
BIG BROTHER (兄) AND BIG SISTER (姉)
Same as with “father” and “mother” there are various ways in Japanese to say “big brother” and “big sister” that vary for levels of politeness. Note that in theory in a Japanese family the children aren’t all equal but older siblings are hierarchically higher than younger siblings and younger siblings own them respect.
Nē-chan (姉ちゃん)/Nē-san (姉さん)/Onē-chan (お姉ちゃん)
‘Nē’ (姉) is the word used for “big sister”. It can be used alone or after the name of the person in question and the level of politeness changes according to the suffixes and prefixes used. ‘O’ (お “honorable”) gives an extra layer of politeness, '-san' (さん) is your standard polite suffix (when added to a name is generally translated as “Mr.”, “Mrs.”) while –chan (ちゃん) is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment.
Natsuo calls Fuyumi ‘nē-chan’, which is clearly familiar and affectionate, but Shōto calls her ‘nē-san’, therefore sounding more polite and distant. This can reflect the fact that Natsuo grew up closer to Fuyumi and is also closer in age compared to Shōto but might also be a reflection of how they were raised. When Rei told Natsuo to protect his big sister in chap 388, she told him to protect his ‘onē-chan’ (the ‘o’ adds a tone of politeness, but likely Rei always uses it as a way for Rei to remind Natsuo to be polite with his older sister), therefore she might have encouraged him to use a more endearing and close term for his sister, something she might not have done with Shōto merely because he wasn’t allowed to interact with Fuyumi (and the rest of his siblings) when Rei was living with them. In chap 192 Fuyumi calls herself his ‘nē-san’ when talking with Shōto, likely because after Rei left she took up a mother role to him and Shōto might have ended up calling her as such in response. Enji also, when talking with Natsuo, used ‘nē-san’ to talk about Fuyumi and he might have done the same with Shōto so that he ended up doing the same.
Nī (兄)/Nī-chan (兄ちゃん)/Nī-san (兄さん)/Aniki (兄貴)
‘Nī’ (兄) is the word used for “big brother”. The level of politeness changes according to the suffixes and prefixes used, same as ‘Nē’. Now… Tōya is called just ‘Tōya Nī’ by all his siblings and Shōto calls Natsuo ‘Natsu Nī’ as well, no suffixes or prefixes attached. Using just ‘Nī’ it’s very informal and childish but it started likely due to Fuyumi and Tōya being very close in age (11 months of difference) and therefore being allowed to a lower level of formality. Since Shōto was kept apart from his siblings and this lead Rei to stay away from her other children to take care of him as well, Natsuo likely copied Fuyumi’s way to call Tōya and, eventually, Shōto ended up doing the same with both his older brothers despite not being close to them, probably merely because he mimicked the way they talked. Note that when talking to Shōto in chap 34, Enji referred to Tōya as his big brother, he called Tōya his ‘nī-san’. Tōya instead referred to himself as his ‘nī-chan’ twice when talking with Shōto, which could have been mocking but could have also been the way he used to refer to himself with his siblings as a kid. In chap 388 and in chap 244/350 Natsuo and Shōto, when arguing with Tōya drops the childish and familiar ‘nī’, which would be unfitting of the situation, and switch to ‘aniki’ (兄貴). ‘Aniki’ is still a way you can use to call your older brother (‘ani’ is another way to read the kanji for “big brother” (兄) and '-ki' (貴), when added after nouns related to people expresses love and respect) but it’s considered less formal than ‘onī-san’/‘nī-san’, yet not endearing or childish like ‘nī’/‘nī-chan’/‘onī-chan’ as it has a rough note (kind of like ‘oyaji’). It’s notable they don’t use just ‘aniki’ but add a pejorative. Natsuo goes for a ‘KUSO aniki’ (クソ兄貴 “shitty/damn big brother”) while Shōto, who is less close to his big brother, goes for a tamer ‘baka aniki’ (馬鹿兄貴 “stupid older brother”). More about this though, later on.
YOUNGER BROTHERS AND YOUNGER SISTERS
Normally they’re referred just by name, however in Fuyumi and Natsuo’s case they actually have the equivalent of ‘pet names’ of some sort.
Tōya calls Fuyumi ‘Fuyumi-chan’ (冬美ちゃん) and Natsuo ‘Natsu-kun’ (夏くん). As said before ‘-chan’ is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment and, in case it’s attached to the name, is used from older person to younger person. You might want to translate it something like “little Fuyumi” or “dear Fuyumi”. As for Natsuo… ‘-kun’ (君/くん) is usually used for addressing males younger than the speaker. Boys in the same age group can call each other with ‘-kun’ (Midoriya, for example, adds ‘–kun’ to the surname of all his male classmates… while Shōto instead calls them simply by surname). Sometimes male office workers call their younger female colleagues with it. This is not rude but a sign of familiarity. You might want to translate it something like “young Natsu” but just "Natsu" would be fine as well. Interesting enough while Fuyumi calls Natsuo just ‘Natsu’, Rei also calls him ‘Natsu-kun’, Natsuo being the only one among her kids she doesn’t call just with his full name. Shōto is the only one of the younger Todoroki kids who didn't have a suffix attached when called by his older siblings. As said before, being called something different by just your name is not mandatory but it's possible in Shōto's case this is not happening due to him being kept away from them or due to Tōya having been the one who decided the 'pet names' for his younger siblings.
HUSBAND AND WIFE
Again, there are various ways for a husband to call his wife and vice versa.
In Enji’s case though he commonly refers to/calls his wife as just ‘Rei’ and calls her ‘tsuma’ (妻 “wife”) only once, when talking about her and his children in chap 248.
Another common Japanese way to refer to your husband/wife is by calling them "you" (the wife would use ‘anata’ (あなた), the husband would use 'omae' (おまえ)). This often gets translated as "dear" in English manga.
In Rei’s case she usually calls Enji ‘anata’ (あなた), although, for obvious reasons, in the English manga in this case it doesn't get translated as "dear". In Enji's case he occasionally uses 'omae' for her, but since 'Rei' is his default way to call her and 'omae' is his default "you" pronoun for all his family, very likely his 'omae' with her isn't more meaningful than an ordinary "you". More about "you" later on.
Interesting enough in some houses once children are born, the parents start calling each other ‘Otō-san’ and ‘Okā-san’ and when talking with a young Tōya about Enji, Rei called Enji ‘Otō-san’ while Enji, when talking with Fuyumi, calls Rei ‘Kā-san’ but here it was likely done because they were talking with their children about the other parent and not because they are used to call each other in such way.
Interesting enough Nao didn’t use ‘anata’ for her husband but ‘Kotarō-san’.
THE CHILDREN
Enji refers to all his children by first name, while Rei does the same for all her children except Natsuo whom she calls ‘Natsu-kun’.
Both parents, when wanting to talk about their children without saying their name call them either ‘ko’ (子) or ‘kodomo’ (子ども). Both mean child (and can be pluralized) but 'ko’ (子) is a more general term for a child, which is often used in a neutral or formal context (even when the child is actually an adult) while ‘kodomo’ (子ども) is a more specific and inclusive term commonly used to refer to children in a more affectionate or informal way or to emphasize the innocence and vulnerability of children, often used in educational or parenting contexts (and, in the manga, generally used to refer to the Todoroki kids when they were… well, kids). I know I said I wouldn't mention nouns that are too general but, in this case, I’m mentioning all this because, although Enji has no problems in referring to his children as 'ko’ (子) in chap 31, while talking with All Might, Enji referred to Shōto as ‘ko’ (仔) which sounds the same as “child” (子 'ko’) but the kanji he uses is not the usual one for “child” (子) but this one (仔) which means “offspring” and, normally, is used for “young animals/cubs” or “young plants/seedlings”. It’s possible Enji is using it because, when he does, Horikoshi wants us to get the idea Enji is basically talking of how Shōto was breed and raised for the purpose of defeating All Might, as if he were some sort of racehorse, the full sentence being the following:
‘Kore dake oboe toke. ARE ha… izure kisama wo mo koeru HERO ni suru. Sō surubeku… tsukutta ko da’ 「これだけ覚えとけ。アレは…いずれ貴様をも越えるヒーローにする。そうするべく………つくった仔だ」 “Just remember this. That one we’re talking about… I’ll make him a hero that will surpass you someday. In order to do that… I had/trained/created that child.”
THE GRANPARENTS
In chap 31, when talking about his grandparents Shōto called them ‘haha no shinzoku’ (母の親族 “mother’s relatives”).
'Haha' is the word you use with people outside your group to talk about your mother.
'Shinzoku' (親族) is, under Japanese law, a term that refers to people who we are related to by blood or marriage (you can translate it also as "clan") so yes, it might not necessarily means Rei's parents. It's worth to remember the Himura were an important family with a family head who might not have necessarily be Rei's father (it could have been her grandfather or even her father's male heir), though, due to Geten's story and the scene we saw in chap 301 that in the Himura family the "family head" (当主 ‘tōshu’) was Rei's father.
By the way, the Todorokis instead mention often the 'kazoku' (家族 "family") which is the family unit formed by a married couple and their children.
Shōto might refer in such a formal way to his grandparents either because he's not close to them or because he's talking with Midoriya.
In chap 302 when he refers to his grandparents Tōya called them ‘Obā-chan-tachi’ (おばあちゃん達 “grandma and the others”).
The ‘o’ (お “honorable”) in 'obā-chan' gives an extra layer of politeness while '–chan' (ちゃん) is generally affectionate and expresses closeness and endearment. By using '-chan' and singling out his grandmother (who unlikely was the family head) instead than his grandfather Tōya sounds close to her.
It's possible though his grandfather died when he was younger, hence he referred to his grandmother.
For more about the Himura you might want to read my post about the Himura family.
WHO WORKS FOR THE TODOROKIS
In chap 302 Enji says he’ll hire more ‘shiyōnin’ (使用人 “servant/employee”).
In chap 249 Natsuo calls the person who used to cook for them ‘otetsuta’ (お手伝 “helper/maid”).
Enji, in his role as Hero, has also an 'untenshu' (運転手 "driver"), Kurumada Untenmaru, but we don't know how Enji or the other Todorokis call him, just that Kurumada calls Enji 'Endeavor' (and 'No.1' in the OAV) and uses 'anta' (あんた) with him (more about 'anta' later on), while he calls 'jarinko' (ジャリンコ) Shōto, Midoriya and Bakugō.
'Jarinko' (ジャリンコ/じゃりんこ/じゃりん子/砂利子) is an old fashioned word used to call a "student who can't keep up in school" but it's also used to say just "brat".
In theory, more than to the Todoroki family, Kurumada is connected to the Hero world, but since, according to his profile, he knows Enji by a looong time (and is one year older than him) I thought to include him as well.
HEROES AND VILLAINS
In Enji, Tōya and Shōto’s case, in addition to their own name they also have their Hero/Villain monikers, 'Endeavor' (エンデヴァー), 'Dabi' (荼毘 "cremation") and 'Shōto' (ショート yes, same as his name but written in katakana instead than kanji)… plus Enji also is defined by his ranking (‘No.2’ first, ‘No.1’ after). In some circumstances the family uses such names instead than the usual way they call them.
Interesting enough though, when Shōto interns under Enji, Enji calls him with his Hero name (which is still 'Shōto' but written in katakana so you can’t really notice it in the anime but it’s visible in the manga) and of course he called Tōya 'Dabi' until he discovered he was his son. After that moment he always called him just Tōya and I couldn’t find an instance in which he called him ‘Dabi’ again.
In fact, even after waking up in the hospital, Enji wants to say Endeavor is dead since he can’t kill a ‘Tairyō satsujin-sha’ (大量殺人者 “mass murderer”) (aka Tōya) but what he voices is instead he can’t kill his ‘musuko’ (むすこ) which means “son” (息子) and, when he finally fights Tōya, he ends up seeing him as the kid he was... making him unable to make a distinction between Tōya and Dabi. Once he acknowledges that Dabi IS indeed Tōya, he won't be able to go back see him as Dabi or call him as such, differently from others of his family members.
We never see Rei calling Enji 'Endeavor' but we see her calling Tōya 'Dabi' once, when she tells her husband he must fight him (during the rest of the discussion she called him 'Tōya' or 'ano ko' (あの子 “that child”))... as calling him 'Dabi' probably helps her to distance herself from how she's asking Enji to fight their son (Chap 302).
Natsuo called his father 'Endeavor' in chap 249, during the dinner at which Midoriya and Bakugō were invited. This seems to remark his wish not to acknowledge Enji as his father but as a stranger.
Natsuo also refers to his brother as 'Dabi' in chap 302, but more as something that was created more than as his brother, as he's also likely trying to distance himself from the idea Tōya and Dabi are one and the same.
At the same time Shōto called his father 'Endeavor' during the Stain case when asking to other Heroes about him (chap 55) and during his internship (chap 249), in short when he needed to acknowledge him as a Hero.
As for Tōya, of course Shōto called him 'Dabi' before the reveal. After the reveal, in chap 349 Shōto, before fighting Tōya, starts calling his brother just ‘Tōya’ (without the ‘nī’ (兄) which is kind of rude) then decides to switch to ‘Dabi’, either to acknowledge him as a Villain or to keep emotional distance from him. We know also that in the flashback in chap 352 called 'Dabi' his family's sin.
Tōya isn’t really prone to call Enji 'Endeavor' and does so only in few notable situations:
- prior to becoming Dabi, solely when telling Enji to look at him before attacking Shōto as a child (chap 301);
- when facing Enji as Dabi after Enji’s fight with the Nōmu (chap 190);
- when denouncing Enji on tv (Chap 290);
- during the Paranormal Liberation War when he attacked him (chap 292)... although during the battle he alternated calling him 'Endeavor' and 'otō-san';
- when he repeated what Skeptic told him, that Endeavor was at Gunga... but what's meaningful here is that the reading for 'Endeavor' is given as 'otō-san' (chap 374).
This seems to imply Tōya uses 'Endeavor' solely when he's talking to/about/him in his role as a Hero.
On the other side Tōya never calls Shōto with his Hero name… even though, of course, since it matches with his normal name, no one can realize it.
Now... I said the family tries to distance the idea that Tōya IS Dabi by calling him Dabi... but credits when it's due, Tōya himself said that Tōya died and Dabi was born so he too is keeping the two identities parted in a way... albeith he has no problems to refer himself as 'Tōya' and be called as such, both by his family and by Himeko, who switches on calling him from 'Dabi-kun' to 'Tōya-kun', so more than identities, we should probably say he means the person he once was 'died', as he started aiming for different things and behaving differently.
Not quite Todorokis but still related to them, in chap 301 the Himura family head who’s likely Rei’s father, called Enji ‘Endeavor-sama’ (エンデヴァー様) and ‘Top Hero-Sama’ (トップヒーロー様) instead than using his civilian name.
'-sama' (様/さま) is much more formal and polite than just '-san', to the point it’s sometimes translated as ���lord”/”lady”.
The fact that the Himura family head is using it underlines how high he thinks of Endeavor, for being such an important Hero.
Enji also gets called 'No.2' and then 'No. 1' after he rises to the position. Shōto in chap 31, calls him 'mannen No. 2 no HERO' (万年No.2のヒーロー "eternal No. 2 Hero"). Then after he becomes No.1 Natsuo refers to him as such in chap 192, Shōto does so in chap 247, and Tōya does so in chap 191 and 231. In chap 191 Tōya also called him ‘No. 1 hero-san’ (No.1ヒーローさん), when telling him goodbye and that they’ll have a chance to talk again... though the politeness here is probably an attempt at sarcasm.
In chap 290 Enji himself defined himself ‘kono kuni no Top Hero’ (この国のトップヒーロー “this country Top Hero”).
Also I’m placing it here, though I doubt Rei is referring to his Hero role but to how Shōto managed to positively react to all he went through (differently from the rest of the family so he's kind of like a role model to them)… still in chap 302 Rei says Shōto is the ‘Todoroki-ke no HERO’ (轟家のヒーロー “Todoroki’s family Hero”) but the reading given is ‘Uchi no HERO’ (ウチ のヒーロー “our own family’s hero”).
YOU
Polite Japanese speech requires not the use of “you” but the use of a person’s name. However the Todorokis are a family, they talk to each other in an informal way and so they do use also “you” to talk with each other.
Anata (あなた,貴方, 貴男, 貴女 Lit. “precious toward”)
This is the only second person pronoun comparable to English “you”, yet still not used as often in this universal way by native speakers, as it can be considered having a condescending undertone, especially towards superiors. For expressing “you” in formal contexts, using the person’s name with an honorific is more typical (Hawks tends to use 'Endeavor-san' when talking with Enji and switches to 'anata' only when he doesn't want to repeat 'Endeavor-san'.... and while she uses just 'Endeavor' or 'Hawks', when she has to say "you" the Chairman of the Hero Public Safety Committee uses 'anata' as well). More commonly, ‘anata’ may be used when having no information about the addressed person; also often used as “you” in commercials, when not referring to a particular person. Furthermore, commonly used by women to address their husband or lover, in a way roughly equivalent to the English “dear”. Rei uses always ‘anata’ to talk with Enji but, of course, due to their (poor) relation, we never see it as being translated as “dear” in the English manga.
Omae (おまえ/お前/御前 Lit. “polite front”)
This is the “you” everyone in the Todoroki family uses. Of course it comes with a nuance. If used to talk with people outside the family it’s used by men with more frequency and expresses the speaker’s higher status or age, or a very casual relationship among peers. Often used with ‘ore’ it can be very rude if said to elders. Commonly used by men to address their wife or lover, paralleling the female use of ‘anata’. Of course, since the Todorokis are a family, they use it with each other and it’s not meant to be rude (and yes, occasionally Enji used it with Rei though it’s not as recurring as she uses ‘anata’ so it might not have the same nuance)… and since the male Todorokis are rough, tough males who use ‘ore’ they also use it with people that’s outside the family but in this case it’s actually kind of rude (notable how Geten for example uses it with Dabi during their fight).
Anta (あんた/アンタ)
Contraction of ‘anata’ is also generally not used as it’s considered too direct. Can express contempt, anger or familiarity towards a person. Sometimes it can be felt as more rude than ‘omae’ sometimes it’s the opposite. Generally seen as rude or uneducated when used in formal contexts. ‘Anta’ is often used among girls who want to act leading the guy a little bit forcely and scoldishly. There are a bunch of time in which ‘anta’ is used among the Todoroki family members and they’re all when a character is scolding another. We start with Fuyumi who, when scolding Natsuo in chap 187, calls him ‘anta’ (あんた), we continue with Natsuo who, when arguing/scolding Enji in chap 192 and 302 calls him ‘anta’ (あんた) and we finish with Shōto who, when arguing with Enji in chap 351 about who of them has to face Tōya calls him ‘anta’ (アンタ) to tell him he’s the only one who can face All for One. Yes, Shōto uses katakana which generally are used to underline the word, so it's possible it's done to remark how only Enji can do it but also to underline how Shōto, who's angry, is not using his usual ‘TemeE’ (てめエ) with his father but a tamer word. Interesting enough Tōya, or probably I should say in this case Dabi, uses ‘anta’ too, but not with his family member but with Ujiko in chap 350 both to refer just to him and to him and All for One ‘anta-ra’ (あんたら “you” (plural)). Dabi is an ‘omae’ guy who’s generally not polite but calls Ujiko ‘Ujiko-san’, so the fact for him he uses ‘anta’ and not ‘omae’ is probably meant to feel less rude that if he were to use ‘omae’. Another character connected to the Todoroki family who uses ‘anta’ is, as I've already said, Kurumada with Endeavor.
Temē/TemeE (てめえ/てめエ/手前 Lit. “the one in front of my hand”)
'Temē', a reduction of 'temae', is, according to some, the rudest way to say “you” even more rude than ‘Kisama’ (we’ll talk about it in a while) and it’s used when the speaker is very angry. It’s the sort of thing you might translate with “son of a b*tch” or some other insult along the line. Originally used for a humble first person, it’s an ateji, which means either the readings of the individual kanji do not match the reading of the word, or the meanings of the individual kanji do not match the meaning of the word. Shōto uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 34 when arguing with Enji (which makes notable how he’ll only use ‘anta’ much later on when arguing with him in chap 351) and again uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 292 when fighting with Tōya and Tōya also uses ‘temeE’ (てめエ) in chap 351 when fighting with Shōto (in their previous fight he used ‘omae’ with him). The fact that the last ‘e’ is written in katakana instead than hiragana is often done to put emphasis on it.
For completeness sake I’ll report two other ways to say ‘you’ which some of the Todorokis use but not, as far as we know, with their family members.
Kimi (君/きみ Lit. “lord” (archaic))
It’s the kanji also used to write '-kun'. Informal to subordinates; can also be affectionate; formerly very polite. Among peers typically used with ‘boku’ (僕) (so, as you can easily guess it’s Midoriya’s “you” when he’s not using someone’s name). Often seen as rude or assuming when used with superiors, elders or strangers. Enji uses it when talking with Midoriya at the sport festival and when he observes how Midoriya too was one of them because he should have suffered for his Quirk, showing him some degree of politeness… but he will eventually switch on using ‘omae’ for him during the Dark Hero arc, which likely his meant to imply they gotten more familiar, not that he's being disrespectful.
Kisama (貴様/きさま Lit. "precious lord")
Historically very formal, but has developed in an ironic sense to show the speaker’s extreme hostility/outrage towards the addressee. It’s basically so rude/aggressive it often gets translated into “bastard/you bastard”. Enji uses it when talking with All Might, sometimes outright saying ‘kisama’, sometimes the furigana say ‘All Might’ but the kanji below say ‘kisama’ just to drive home the way Enji is saying ‘All Might’ is all but polite and all this is very rude as All Might isn’t just ranked above him but he’s older than him and a Hero by longer time so he definitely deserves more respect. Enji also calls ‘kisama-ra’ (it’s a plural form of ‘kisama’) Midoriya and Bakugō when they intern under him. This is actually interesting. He starts with ‘omae-tachi’ (it’s a plural form of ‘omae’) when he says he’ll supervise them, then switches to ‘kisama-ra’ when he tells Bakugō and Midoriya to tell him about themselves, then he moves to ‘kimi’ when he says since Midoriya too suffered for his Quirk he’s one of them… to go back to ‘kisama’ when he address Bakugō only… to switch again to ‘omae-tachi’ when he’s addressing the three of them… to go back to ‘kisama-ra’ when he tells them they’ve to gain experience working under him and uses ‘kisama-ra’ again when he tells Bakugō and Shōto he’ll give them the same assignment and also uses it to tell the three of them won’t impact on his work. Long story short, very likely that ‘kisama’ is solely meant to remark how they’re working under him. He also uses ‘kisama’ when he begins interacting with Hawks (who instead, as said before, uses 'Endeavor–san' and when he has to use “you” with him goes for ‘anata’ despite Hawks being an ‘ore’ guy), only to switch to ‘omae’ later on.
CONTINUE IN THE NEXT PART!
#boku no hero academia#Todoroki Shouto#Todoroki Touya#Todoroki Enji#Todoroki Natsuo#Todoroki Fuyumi#Todoroki Rei
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DRDT SPOILERS.
Theories and headcanons about the execution of the murderer of the second chapter.
And so... Since we know the murderer of this chapter (They is innocent, believe me), I want to share my guesses about their possible execution.
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My reasoning will begin with the fact that there are executions in danganronpa that not only reflect the killer's talent, but also contain things that they don't like ( Example: Mikan Tsumiki )
In her execution, you can see the oversize objects ( You can notice a large syringe, and then a huge hand and space appear ), which she doesn't like and is afraid of. All in order to make her fall into despair.
Following from Ace's Wikipedia, you can find out that he doesn't like horses and meat. ( But this is only from material things. I'll mention the rest later )
Of course, if he is a jockey, then the execution itself is more likely to involve horses, however, I would find his execution more interesting if it involves meat ( or some other food ). Based on these words, it can be concluded that there are two possible scenarios for his execution: a horse and food.
Food:
If we go on this trail, then since Ace has an eating disorder, then he can be under tremendous pressure from himself. He will either be forced to eat something, or he will soon become someone's food ( the same meat that he neglects )
Horses:
You can die in different ways because of horses, so I've given you a list of some historical figures who died because of a horse-related accident. Here are the highlights:
« He fell from his horse onto his sword and fell to his death »
« He was thrown from his horse into cold water and suffered a fatal heart attack or drowned as a result »
« He fell in front of a horse that stepped on his head »
« He fractured his skull when his horse stumbled and fell »
In general, I understand Ace why he is so afraid of horses. I think there are at least two possible scenarios ( they are divided into subtypes )
The first scenario :
I think a horse racing option is possible.
Subtype 1:
Horse racing contains a dangerous obstacle course. Ace goes through them all at first, but at the very last moment he messes up ( It is possible that Monotv cheated by giving impossible obstacles to overcome or outwitted him )
Subtype 2:
Ace successfully overcomes the same dangerous obstacle course, but his supposed opponent cheated and won. Ace's loss may anger those who bet money on him. That's why, let's say, they started throwing stones at him.
The second scenario :
Historical events. Executions of the Middle Ages. (both that I found are very similar )
Subtype 1:
To be hanged, drawn and quartered was a method of torturous capital punishment used principally to execute men convicted of high treason in medieval and early modern Britain and Ireland. The convicted traitor was fastened to a hurdle, or wooden panel, and drawn behind a horse to the place of execution, where he was then hanged (almost to the point of death), emasculated, disembowelled, beheaded, and quartered.
Subtype 2:
The remainder of the punishment might include hanging ( usually not to the death ), usually live disemboweling, burning of the entrails, beheading, and quartering. This last step was sometimes accomplished by tying each of the four limbs to a different horse and spurring them in different directions.
If it concerns 2 subtypes of the second scenario ( 1, in principle, too ), then it will be funny to put pressure on the moment with his already fragile neck.
And I'm going back a little to the moment when I was talking about Ace's dislikes! Of the non-material ones, he dislikes the following: being a jockey and being perceived as incompetent.
We know perfectly well that Ace is a rather short — tempered personality, most often acting impulsively due to aroused emotions. It can be assumed that his own execution will carry ridicule about his lack of professionalism and frivolous attitude to the sport in which he is so famous. It is possible that his entire execution will stupidly mock his desire to escape both from the killing game and from his daily life ( It was also the case with Teruteru, who was turned into his unloved food, and also presented on the cover of the execution in the form of a pig in honor of disrespect )
It is likely that in this scenario, he will be banally pissed off, which will make him act irrationally. And these actions of his based on negative emotions will push him to a fatal mistake.
That's all!
Thank you for your attention and time, because Ace is actually alive and not dead and it was all a prank hehehahHaehEhhaHahehe....
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Different In Every Way
Adam Warlock x reader
Words: 1801
Authors note: I did not expect people to actually want to read that little fic idea I posted but so many of y’all wanted this so I did it. Y’all made this happen. Also reader is tan or brown however you wanna perceive this. I made it for myself tho really🤣 and I’m tan/brown.
Taglist: @spderm4nnnn
It was difficult to pinpoint when it all began. It was like one day Adam Warlock just appeared by your side and ever since then he’s been there. It was strange to you because he honestly didn’t seem the type to be interested in others, but he would go out of his way to talk to you. But you couldn’t help but think, what interest could you bring to him. You weren’t a guardian, you were just a Terran who lived on Knowhere. So at first you were confused by the way he seemed to constantly look for you.
In the beginning he came to you with simple curiosities, “what is this? What is that?” And you’d tell him, even show him if needed. Then he’d begin coming to you with other problems.
“But I don’t get it,” he’d say after dishing out how mad Drax had become once he brought up how useless he believed Mantis was and how she slowed Drax down.
“Mantis was an asset, she helped us see things that sometimes we couldn’t. It’s like you and your pet,” you pointed to the brown furry creature that he constantly had by his side on Knowhere. “He doesn’t offer you anything but companionship but would you say he’s an asset?”
Adam looked down at the animal that was cuddled on his lap before smiling a little. “I’d say so. He makes me happy.”
“Exactly, Mantis isn’t a pet but she is an asset. Plus bad mouthing people isn’t nice, so try to avoid that.”
“But you guys bad mouth each other all the time.”
“To the person's face, there’s a difference. Unless it’s a bad guy then you can say whatever you want about them,” you explain and he looks far off, clearly trying to make sense of it all.
“Some of your rules here are very confusing.”
You gave him a little pat on the shoulder, “don’t worry, you’ll grasp it soon enough.”
After time conversations shifted from curiosities about the planet to curiosities about you. Sometimes it was simple like your favorite food and then after giving your answer he would want to try it with you. But other times it was just random things.
“Which member is your favorite of the new Guardians?” He’d ask as you two would be sitting on the balcony, his pet, Blurp sat in between as you people watched.
“Hmm, probably Cosmo.”
“What?!” He’d turn to you, offense clearly written on his face. “What about me!?”
You’d laugh looking down at cosmo who was messing around with Kraglin. “I’m sorry but just look at Cosmo,” his gaze follows yours to look down at the dog. “She’s so cute, I just wanna squish her face.”
“Okay okay, fine I can accept that…then who after Cosmo?”
“Hmm,” you’d scrunch your face and tilt your head, “I really really wanna say Rocket,” his jaw dropped and you finally looked at him, a little chuckle coming out from you, “but I think it’s you.”
Adam grew silent trying to hide the proud smile that was threatening to take over his expressions.
So yeah, chats with Adam were nice.
Then one day Drax, Nebula, and Groot were out at the center area, engaged in discussion as you were just coming out for a little greeting.
As you were passing by you waved and Groot said something that made you stop, “I am Groot.”
Your eyebrows furrowed as you came close to the group, “you know something I don’t know? What do you know?” You eyeballed the other two curiously. Nebula looked regular as always but Drax, Drax had a strange expression on his face like he was ready to explode…and then he did.
In laughter that was.
You stood there confused as his laughter bellowed out into the air.
“What is going on?” You asked, still haven’t gotten an answer.
Nebula rolled her eyes while Drax tried to talk to you through his fit, “golden boy…” he’d laugh again, “golden boy thinks you’re made of bronze!” He’d burst out again and you’d turn to Nebula with your expression practically begging for an explanation.
“When we were talking with Adam he constantly was bringing you up. We pointed it out and asked why and he said he has strange feelings towards you—“
“He said he has feelings for you because you’re just like him!!!” Drax would interrupt bursting into another fit. “He thinks you’re made of metal!”
That was news to you.
He likes me? Was your first thought but what you asked instead was, “he thinks I’m metal?”
Nebula continued, “yeah he thinks you’re copper or bronze because of your skin. We didn’t tell him he was wrong because we felt like that was your place.”
Drax continued laughing and Nebula had enough, “would you shut up already! It’s not that funny!”
“But…but he only likes you because you’re like him, but what’s he gonna do when he finds out you’re from Earth!”
“Drax!”
“I am Groot.”
“What? How’s that mean? I think it’s gonna be a hilarious story,” Drax said, turning to Groot.
You’ve heard enough, thanking them and glaring at Drax you went out to search for Adam.
All you could think while you searched was that now it all made sense why he came up to you specifically back then. It’s not like your skin tone was rare but I guess it stood out a little against the colorful skin that others had.
But did he actually only like you because of that?
Wait, did you like him?
You searched until you saw him coming out of one of the buildings across the way. You stood there unable to bring yourself to him.
Oh god you did like him.
I guess all that time you spent with him, you somehow gained feelings along the way.
His eyes looked around as if deciding where to go next.
“Don’t look this way. Don’t look this way,” you whispered frozen in place. His eyes stopped on you before the gold around them crinkled as his face spread into a grin.
Wait, what is he going to think when he realizes I’m from Earth?
Suddenly you didn’t even want to think about that conversation.
He took a step towards you and that was it, you immediately spun on your heel opting to have the conversation whenever you sorted your own thoughts out.
“Wait!” Is what you heard as you continued on trying to escape the golden boy. You made it all the way back to where you began, the main area where the others were. You couldn’t get too far though and Adam easily caught your arm, making you turn around in the action.
“I was calling you, didn’t you hear me?” He asked. He looked genuinely concerned for you which is definitely not a sight that you needed to see right now.
You glanced around at the others, awkwardly not wanting to talk about this with them there. Nebula and Groot looked away while Drax just put another Zargnut in his mouth, clearly entertained.
Like hell you were going to do this here. “Come here,” you took his golden hand and pulled him behind you leading him to the balcony where you two have spent many days together.
Once there you spun around and turned to him and without giving yourself any time to back out, you said, “I have strange, romantic feelings for you, and I think you have feelings for me.”
Adam was stunned by the comment. A few weeks ago he didn’t even understand what those feelings were, he had to talk to others to even understand what those feelings were. But now suddenly he finds out you have them too, he was ecstatic, he was happy, he was going to kill the person who told you that he had feelings for you.
The corners of his mouth pulled as he began to smile.
“But before anything happens between us, there’s something you should know.”
His eyebrows furrow. “What’s going to happen between us?”
Now was not the time to be explaining…all that, you shook your head and tried to continue, “nothing. Just…nothing. That’s not the point, the point is,” your hands curve as you motion to yourself, “I’m not made of metal.”
He says nothing, just looks at you eyebrows still together and you don’t even know what to make of that expression.
“I’m Terran. You know from Earth.” He still looked a little off, “like Quill,” you added and it finally seemed to click as he held out an, “ooohh.”
But again he looked confused, “but you and Peter…you look so different.”
“Yeah well while your planet comes in only one color, on my planet people come in all sorts of different shades and colors. Not bright colors, just very…neutral.”
Adam was silent again as he took in this new information.
You were from Terra.
Earth.
His mind seemed to be in its own thoughts while you stood there beginning to feel uncomfortable with what had to come eventually.
“Look, I know you like me because you think I’m exactly like you. But I’m just not.”
You don’t blame him if his feelings for you dwindle because of this, you weren’t ashamed of who you were but you were just disheartened that it turned out this way.
He was taking a while to respond and for a moment you wondered if you should just save you both the trouble and leave by your own two feet.
But then he spoke, “it’s true I believed we were the same, and that may have been the reason I searched for you. But in no way was that the sole reason for me gaining some certain feelings of emotion towards you. I believe I have these feelings because of our differences. You have taught me so much because of our different experiences, and that fact has not changed.”
He finishes his small speech and you don’t know exactly what to make of all that information, “so what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I still have fond feelings for you and if you’ll let me, I’d love for us to spend more time together. Solely the two of us.”
You weren’t exactly sure what he meant by that but you think he was asking you out on a date.
“I’d love that too.”
Adam smiles at you, his expression displaying a sort of idiotic happy type smile and all you could do was mirror it.
“See they’re smiling I knew it would work out,” Drax said from down below as the three peered up at you both.
“I am Groot.”
“Yeah yeah, it’s beautiful now, come on. We got things to do,” Nebula said while taking off ushering the others to follow behind her.
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