#but adult life is sooo busy

[notherpuppet]

Which part of your Alastor and Lucifer human comic (I forgot what It's named) is your favorite?

Ahhh I have so much fun with the “My Deer Nanny” AU, it’s hard to pick. Here are some of my fave moments (sorry it’s so disorganized haha)

Charlie meets Alastor 🌈 🦌

EDIT: OMG I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THIS FAVE MOMENT

Jealous Vox 😜📺

Lucifer and Alastor’s “hug” 🩸🫂

Huskerdust meets in Nanny AU 🐈‍⬛🕸️

Rosie, Alastor, and Lucifer trio 🥀📻🍎

Mimzy, Alastor, and Lucifer trio 🐥🍎🦌

Almimzy dancing 💃🏼🕺🏽

Lucifer dips Alastor 🪩

Doe-eyed Alastor 🥹🦌

Link to Masterpost

[avatardoggo]

soooo i was right 🫠😐🫥 the Friend like likes me and it seems e v e r y o n e around me has known sINCE FEBRUARY

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙written in the stars | DR3˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: age gap!!

summary: in which you both meet after break ups and mend each other, or in which the world focuses on the wrong things about your relationship

a/n: kind of an old request i never got round to but i fear i need to break up all the charles reqs with some daniel 🙏 hope u enjoy LOL

request!!!: can i req daniel ricciardo age gap fanfic pls plssss

my masterlist

fc: ruby lynn

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by yourbff, friend2, and others

yourusername girl's night 🍕

view all comments

yourbff girl what happened last night 😂

yourusername u know im the last person you should be expecting to remember that

yourbff oh okay valid

friend1 so much fun

yourusername ilysm

friend2 single life suits you babe

yourusername 😀 dont remind me

friend3 miss u wish i could've made it

yourusername soon u lil busy body!!!

yoursister interesting coping mechanism

yourusername learned from the best

yoursister 🤨 who me or mom

yourusername ...both

messages ->

/

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, yoursister, and others

yourbff so is he hot

yourusername YES. SO HOT

yourbff YESSSSS I TOLD U SO

yoursister and this is?

yourusername just a friend 😇

danielricciardo posted a story

liked by landonorris, f1gossip, and others

user1 helloooo???

user2 didnt u & heidi break up??

user3 is this heidi or a different girl

user4 i knew u & heidi didnt break up!!!

user5 so cute

landonorris and who is this?

danielricciardo 🤫

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and others

yourbff HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

yoursister happy birthday my angel :)

friend1 haps baps gorgeous

friend2 hbd

friend3 cant wait to see u later!!!

danielricciardo happy birthday❤️

messages ->

txts between daniel & lando !!

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and others

yourusername it's my party i'll cry if i want to

view all comments

user14 omg??? @.user15 look at this

user15 wtf how did u find this

user14 i jus noticed lando AND charles both followed her recently

user16 yo we got a detective over here

user17 SHE'S 22 YRS OLD???

user18 wowwww so young happy birthday i guess

user19 daniel is dating a 22 yr old...?

user20 kind of weird no

yourbff the most gorgeous girl

yourusername i love u

friend1 WOWWW im in love with you

liked by yourusername

danielricciardo hope you had the best time ❤️

yourusername oh i did, tysm for coming!!

user21 what if they're just friends

user22 😂 yea righttttt

twitter ->

instagram ->

f1gossip

liked by user20, user3, yourbff, and others

f1gossip daniel ricciardo spotted with rumoured new partner 22 year old y/n y/l/n. the two have sparked controversy recently due to their large age gap.

tagged: danielricciardo, yourusername

view all comments

user31 oh so they are dating.....

user32 who even cares abt their age gap as long as they're happy!!!

user33 frrrr they're both adults soo?

user34 right and they obviously just met recently

user35 im jus glad to see daniel moving on from heidi

user36 i kind of love them together

user37 we should just leave them alone

user38 agree it's literally none of our business

user39 sooo cute he's whipped for her i fear

user40 i love them ... LOL

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, and others

danielricciardo life's been a bit of a whirlwind 🌪️

view all comments

user41 omg sooo cute

user42 the candid pics of y/n omg he's obsessed

yourbff you cuties

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername

user43 awww he deserves to be happy tbh

user44 still not convinced on the age gap looool

user45 get over it...

landonorris ur new better half

danielricciardo shut up loser

yourusername yup🙂‍↕️ lando right for once

landonorris feels like ur bullying me but i'll take it

user46 maybe daniel is her sugar daddy

user47 wtf is wrong with you LOL

yourusername 😂😂😂😂😂😂

landonorris HAHAHAHA

danielricciardo hahahaha no way

maxverstappen1 sugar daddy daniel 🤨😨

yourusername 🩷🩷!!!!! my loveeee

danielricciardo 😍 you fixed my heart

yourusername and you mine🥹

user48 SOOO cute i love that they went thru break ups together

user49 they were meant to be

user59 written in the stars ✨

THE END 🩷

[dnpbeats]

it's sooo funny to me when dan is like "I'm afraid of commitment" like yes. u met someone when you were 18 and after meeting irl (4 months later) you were not apart for longer than three weeks for 13 years. you chose to go to uni 10min away from him. u built an entire brand with him and have done countless projects together. u have like 3 businesses with him. you basically forced yourself into his flat when you were 19 and have actually lived with him since u were 20. YOU OWN A HOME TOGETHER THAT THE TWO OF YOU DESIGNED. you have spent your entire adult life with this man

like yeah that really sounds like someone who doesn't like commitment to me 😔

[skelekerrry]

Pretty busy lately (adult life sucks) and I got ill (fuck you germs) sooo I'm indulging myself in silly sketches

[sitp-recs]

Hi hello how are you!! I feel like I’d seen a competence kink list you did some time ago, but I can’t seem to find it on your masterlists :( I’m wondering if maybe it’s lost or I’m imagining things lol?

And if not, I would be sooo grateful if you or your followers had any recs for me :) Thank you so much, love your blog!

Hi anon! I did this list with talented Harry (beyond his job) but here are some classic competence kink recs:

Competent Draco:

The Slytherin Urn by @icmezzo (E, 4k)

Nothing turns Harry on quite like redemption.

The Study of Change by p1013 (M, 4k)

Harry's going to hell. He's going to hell immediately. Even with all of the good he's done in his life, he's never going to overcome the impure thoughts racing through his head at the sight of Draco Malfoy looking like an academic wet dream in a room full of barely legal adults.

A Song, Incomplete by RurouniHime (E, 11k)

Draco’s photograph took up the entire top half of the Prophet’s front page. Below the photo: DRACO MALFOY DEFENDS SON OF FORMER LOVER. As if that were breaking news.

Countdown by dysonrules (M, 14k)

When the Wizarding world is plagued by random outbreaks of Dark Magic, the Ministry assigns Curse-Breakers to assist Auror teams on their missions. Harry shouldn't be surprised when Draco Malfoy is assigned to his team, but is Malfoy a Curse-Breaker, or a curse-bringer?

A Year in Training by Omi_Ohmy (M, 25k)

Harry is finally living his dream and training as an Auror, but nothing seems to be going right: he’s just so angry all the time. And Draco Malfoy’s presence on the programme really isn’t helping with that, either.

measures of our days and nights by @flimsi (E, 40k)

Draco returns to London to help the Ministry decipher a spell, but things aren’t quite as simple as they seem.

Heal Thyself by astolat (T, 47k)

"Are you going for the course?" Lovegood asked. "You have the NEWTs.” “What course?” Draco said, then, “No, don’t be ridiculous,” when he realized she meant the notice pinned up on the board he’d been staring at: Applicants To The Introductory Mediwizard Course For The Coming Term Shall Present Themselves In The Chief Mediwizard’s Office By August 24th.

The Vanishing Department by @dictacontrion (E, 47k)

The things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, even if that involves a lot more form-filling, bickering, covert glancing, miscommunication, and flying furniture than we might expect.

Take the Air by dysonrules (M, 51k)

Someone or something is attacking Muggles and leaving them for dead. Auror Harry Potter is assigned to the case, but with his usual partner unavailable, he is stuck with the most annoying Auror ever to walk the halls of the Ministry.

The Darkness Before the Dawn by Ren (E, 55k)

A mysterious creature is loose in London, stalking and killing people. Auror Harry Potter requests the help of a liaison from the Beast Division and gets saddled with Draco Malfoy. Will they be able to stop the creature before it claims more lives?

Kept in Cages by @sweet-s0rr0w (E, 77k)

Deep in the heart of the Ministry lies the Beast Division: a hidden room where ancient beasts roam, and winged creatures soar, and grumpy giant ferrets eat all your biscuits unless you keep them well hidden. Draco Malfoy would know – he’s been working there for five years now, after all.

Reparations by Saras_Girl (E, 87k) - both

Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.

Balance, Imperfect by bixgirl1 (E, 91k) - both

When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by firethesound (E, 149k) - both

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Competent Harry:

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

Ten years after the War ends, Harry and Draco still haven't got their act together. But maybe it's not too late.

Better To Burn Than To Fade Away by Ren (E, 23k)

Harry Potter is a legend in the world of broomstick racing. He's won almost every cup, trophy, and bowl – except for the historical London-Nome which has been on hiatus for the past several years. Now the London-Nome is starting again, and Harry will do anything to pull off one last big win.

Safe As Houses by @xanthippe74 (T, 24k)

After five years abroad, Harry’s thrilled to be home and working at the most prestigious ward-building firm in Britain. But everything gets turned upside down when he's assigned to work for Draco Malfoy—who somehow grew up to be just the sort of sexy bastard Harry goes for.

The Unplottable Time Conundrum by @writcraft (E, 45k)

When the past starts bleeding into the present at Grimmauld Place, an old academic article pulls Draco Malfoy out of his life of luxury. Haunted by the memory of a fleeting post-war kiss and thrust into the ghostly spaces inhabited by Unspeakable Harry Potter, Draco’s easy life is about to get a whole lot more complicated.

REVOLVEVLOVER by firethesound, zeitgeistic (E, 46k)

The work Harry does is justifiable. It’s justice. He works for his country, and his country is a republic—the magical side, anyway. It’s not laudable work, it’s not work he’s proud of, but it’s necessary work. Harry has always taken the necessary jobs that no one else has the stomach for.

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice by lettered (E, 54k)

Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It's all right here, folks.

Timecode by Rasborealis (M, 73k)

Harry Potter has been dead for two years, and Draco would laugh in the face of anyone claiming differently. Well, anyone but Hermione Granger.

Among Ancient Pines by @graymatters (M, 74k)

Every day, Draco Malfoy tries. With every fiber of his being he tries. But he doesn’t much think about what he’s trying for. In his final term of Healer training, Draco is unfortunate enough to find himself on a plane, the only means of traveling to a small, magical town in rural Alaska.

Azoth by @lol-zeitgeistic (E, 88k)

Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.

Who we are in the shadows by @quicksilvermaid (E, 100k) - both

What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost.

By the Grace by lettered (T, 140k)

Harry is an Auror instructor. Malfoy wants to be an Auror.

[ferida-kahlo]

♡ Hotline ♡

Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: You and Mikey have been casually seeing each other for a few weeks. After a late night text from him, you make the drunken insomniac executive decision of calling him back. Naughtiness ensues.

Or: the one where you and Michael have phone sex.

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, M/F. Minors DNI // PWP, P!rn With Feelings. Phone sex, flirting, teasing, sexual innuendos, dirty talking, mentions of oral sex (m. receiving), masturbation (m. and f.), sexual fantasies, role-playing scenarios, librarian k!nk, mentions of rough sex. // Blink-and-you-miss-it angst, alcohol use, mentions of insomnia, anxiety and self esteem issues.

Word count: 3.8k

Read below the cut OR on AO3

Notes: Reader wears glasses in this - don't look at me like that, it's integral to the plot 🙄

For the history nerds, the quote at the beginning is from the book "Fire from Heaven" by Mary Renault, about the relationship between Alexander the Great and his friend and lover, Hephaestion.

Enjoy! As always, likes, comments and reblogs are very appreciated ♡

His feelings were confused; he wanted to grasp till Alexander's very bones were somehow engulfed within himself, but knew this to be wicked and mad; he would kill anyone who harmed a hair of his head…

… you yawned at the page you’d been reading (i.e., staring at without absorbing a single bit of information), before turning your head to the nightstand and seeing the clock mark 2:49 am.

“Good god”, you whispered, tiredly rubbing your face with one hand, while the other reached for the half-full glass of red wine keeping you company in your insomnia.

Technically, you knew drinking was the last thing you should be doing on a weeknight, when you were having a hard time falling asleep and were expected at work in the morning. But living alone was really not helping you behave like a responsible adult with bills to pay. So, you slowly sip your wine, read your book, and hope that eventually your brain will give up and allow you to pass out for at least a few hours.

Suddenly, your phone lights up with a text. Michael B., it says on the screen. A pang of excitement hits you, and you immediately scoff for reacting so earnestly to a text from a guy you’ve been with (not even biblically, just the daytime coffee dates that people with busy lives manage to pack into a crazy week) for a grand total of two times and less than two hours, overall. Not pathetic at all.

Still, you can’t help but reach for the phone.

Hey, I know it’s late and you probably won’t read this until morning, sorry. Wanna have dinner at that spot we talked about? I can pick you up at the office ;) – M.

You smile, and without really thinking, hit the call button.

He picks up quickly, an amused tone in his voice. “Well, I was not expecting that. What the hell are you still doing up, princess? No work tomorrow?”

You laugh. “God, I wish. I just can’t sleep. Haven’t had one of these nights in a while… my brain won’t shut up, even though I’m so tired I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck”.

“Ooof. That fucking sucks.”

“Yup.”

“Well, I’m glad to be your booty call in this desperate time.”

“Michael”, you laugh so hard you choke on some wine and must set the glass back on the table. “I really don’t think that’s what this is”.

“Oh, no?”, he feigns innocence.

“No…”, chuckling, you continue with the most sultry, mock-seductive voice you can muster “… a booty call is if I was like: Sooo, Mikey… are you, like, busy right now? Do you wanna… come over? I’m aaall alone…”.

You make sure to put particular emphasis on the word ‘come’ and Mike sounds like he is doubling over with laughter. “That was the worst proposition I have ever heard, no doubt”.

“Oh, yeah? Well, you’re officially off my booty call list. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life.”

“Ah, shit… I fucked up now, didn’t I?”, you swear you can hear his grin from the other end of the line. And see the laugh lines that form on the corner of his eyes when he smiles genuinely, the rare but so cute nose crinkle that makes your belly flutter…

You would love to get a fucking grip, thank you very much, but the wine was making you incapable of keeping a level head in this flirtation.

“Well… all is not lost. Taking me out to dinner is a good start to redeem yourself. If your game is on point tomorrow, your booty call list status might be revised… in the not-so-far future”, you add, suggestively.

“Shit. Now the stakes are on. I gotta be on my best behavior tomorrow, then”.

“I don’t know about best behavior…”. You feel like slapping yourself for your lack of subtlety.

He chuckles. “So… you like them a little nasty, huh?”

You’re glad he can’t see you blush furiously. “Not like that… but I do like a man who isn’t afraid to… take what he wants. Respectfully, of course.”

“Of course… damn, girl. You’re getting me thinking about all sorts of things…”

“Well, you’re the one who started talking about booty calls. It’s technically your fault”.

“That’s fucking rich. I was being a gentleman, sent you a sweet text and all. Not a single sex reference!”, he says, proudly.

“Ok, that is true”, you concede, laughing softly. “Are you still at the restaurant?”

He sighs deeply. “Yeah… paperwork coming out of my eyeballs. I don’t even understand how the hell I organized this mess”. You hear rustling through the line, and imagine the mess of letters, invoices and bills that must be covering his office desk.

“That fucking sucks”.

“Word”. His chair squeaks loudly. “So… what are you wearing?”

You laugh. “You’re unbelievable”.

“What? I’m just trying to keep the conversation light, you know? Nobody wants to hear about my fuckin’ paperwork at 3 am”.

It was subtle, but you could sense something deeper in his words (sadness? self-deprecation?).

“I wouldn’t mind hearing about your ‘fuckin’ paperwork’ at any time of day, Michael”.

The line goes silent, and you fear you went too deep, too soon. Made this weird in record time, wow.

“I didn’t mean it like… I meant if you want to talk to me about your shitty day, you know, you can, but I don’t want you to be uncomf-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay sweetheart. I get it… thank you for that”, he says, softly. “Maybe some other time. Right now, I honestly just wanna forget about this for a little while... I was really pumped when you called”.

“That’s okay. Really?” You smile, relieved.

“Yeah, really. So… wanna make a guy happy and tell him what you’re wearing?”

With a chuckle, you concede. “Well, nothing. I’m in bed and I sleep naked, so… yeah”.

There’s a heavy pause. “Holy shit. Are you for real?”

“Um, yeah?”

“Jesus, fuck… baby, you can’t say stuff like that and expect me to be normal about it”.

You grin, having just decided that, actually, you wanna play dirty.

“Who says I want you to be normal about it? Besides”, you throw back, suggestively, “I hardly think a woman can be held accountable for what she says after four glasses of wine on a Thursday night… naked and alone, in such a big bed…”

“Now, see, that was a much better pitch for a booty call than the first o-”

“I’m gonna hang up.”

“No, no, no, I’m sorry”, he laughs.

“You’re an asshole”. Even as you say it, you’re smiling.

“And you are a minx, lady. Gettin’ a guy all worked up…”

“Oh, my... I don’t know what you mean…”, you whisper into the comforter, now balled up in your fist over your mouth, as if to cover up your blushing cheeks from an invisible audience.

“Oh, I disagree… I think you know exactly what you’re doing”. There’s a note of sarcasm in his voice you find exhilarating. A sudden noise – like a chair squeaking loudly on a panel floor – can be heard from his end. Followed by… a metallic rattle, more subtle but still clear. A… belt unbuckling?

Wait. Is he…?

You grin, amused. “Mr. Berzatto… I’m hearing suspicious noises. What is going on over there?”

A deep grunt. “Nothin’ much, sweetheart. Just making myself comfortable, is all”.

“And how exactly are you doing that, mister?”

“You know… freeing the junk.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Well, that certainly helps set the mood”.

“Hm… baby, can I ask you for something? It’s totally fine if you don’t wanna do it… but I figure I might as well shoot my shot.”

You notice you are sitting up very still against the pillows in your bed, holding your breath in anticipation. “Sure… what is it?”

A heavy pause follows. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat itself out of your ribcage, your throat feels dry, and your tongue sits heavy and thick in your mouth, the taste of wine suddenly overpowering your senses. And you are so horny.

“Could you… send me a photo of you right now? Are you wearing those new glasses?”. He sounds… eager, almost nervous with the way he trips over the second question.

Oh. Something clicks for you, then. You smile. “So, you really liked the new glasses, huh?”

“Shit… c’mon, don’t bust my balls about it”, he says, with an embarrassed chuckle of admission.

“I’m not! It’s very flattering, actually”. You hope you conveyed how much you are not making fun of him. However, you hate misunderstandings, and to dispel any that might be going on here, you decide there is only one acceptable solution.

“Give me a minute”, you tell him, determined. You don’t wait for an answer before you drop your phone and get to work.

Meanwhile, Mikey sits in his rusty office chair, in what he thinks must look like a very… undignified position. Cock out, right hand stroking it lazily, slumped back with his jeans barely down his ass, work shirt dirty and stinking of cooking oil, his entire body tense in a mix of anticipation and shame. A part of him can’t help but wonder if you are fucking with him: laughing from the other end of the line, leaving him hanging – literally and figuratively (he chuckles dejectedly at the realization that he still remembers something from high school Lit class). He guesses he would kinda deserve that. What type of freak asks for nudes after two… dates? Do those rapid-fire coffee-grabs even count? He is so shit at this. Anything more than a casual hook-up or a quickie behind a sleezy pub is rocket science for him. ‘Congrats, loser! You just fucked it, yet again’.

Then, his phone pings. 5 photos received.

In the first one, you are lying on your side, in bed, a dim warm light illuminating the scene. He can see the contours of your body clearly, despite being covered by a layer of nearly sheer white sheets. His gaze follows your exposed collarbone, to the silhouette of your breasts – he is sure you purposefully allowed a bit of side-boob to slip past the entrapment of sheets… just for him.

He swears he could stare at the shapes of your body all day and never get tired – or limp. His dick is throbbing painfully, now.

It does not get better when he sees the rest of the photos. Your face is visible, on those. The last two are his favorites. You are laying on your stomach, with the reading glasses on, as promised – except they sit lower on your nose than usual, so that your eyes peak out from over the top of the frames. Your hair is down, tousled and wild like it’s just gotten messed up. ‘Is this what she looks like after…’. You are holding a glass of wine to your mouth – lips plump and lightly tinged red – that detail drives him a little insane –, and in front of you lays a book, delicately held open with your other hand. And in the last photo, the sheets have slipped lower down your breasts, revealing a generous cleavage. You’re staring directly at the camera with an inquiring gaze, biting your lower lip. ‘Come get me’.

“… Mike? Are you still there?”

It’s been some time since you sent the photos (twenty seconds, which your anxiety tells you is actually half an hour), with no reaction from him. Your cheeks heat up, and you suddenly feel very silly and insecure. Are they even… good? What makes a good nude? Do these even qualify as nudes? You’re not showing anything super explicit… they’re suggestive, at best. Is he going to think you’re a prude? God, why is this so diff-

Mike clears his throat. “Yeah, I… fuck. Fuckin’ hell. Holy shit. Sweetheart… these are so hot. Jesus… thank you so much. You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous…”. The last part comes out as a whisper, like he’s starstruck.  

You didn’t know it was possible to get more flustered than you already were. “You’re welcome… I’m flattered I managed to make Michael Berzatto incoherent over some low-res thirst trap selfies.”

“Baby, these are genuinely the hottest pics I’ve ever seen. You look like a hot librarian or something”.

You laugh out loud, triumphantly. “Ah! I knew it!”

“What?”, he laughs along.

“Something you wanna share with the class, Mr. Berzatto?”.

“Fuck, don’t stop calling me that, sweetheart”, he says, sounding out of breath.

“Yeah?”, you whisper.

“Fuck, yeah. It’s just… I’ve got a thing for girls with a kinda nerdy, librarian type of vibe, you know? And when I saw you this last time, holding a book and wearing your reading glasses… I gotta admit, my mind went straight to the gutter.”

Interesting. “Really? What did you imagine then?”.

A pause. “I’m not sure you want to hear it… I don’t want you thinking I’m a pervert or something”.

You sigh. “Mikey, I just sent you near-naked photos of me. We’re having phone sex. We are two horny adults having fun. Besides…”, you switch your tone to what you hope comes across as faux innocence, “… I asked you about it. It is kinda my fault, right? I guess I was kind of… bad”.

“Oh, is that what’s happening?”. He chuckles, as if saying challenge accepted. “Alright, then. When I saw you like that for the first time, this image popped into my head, right? I mean, you looked like a really hot librarian. So, I started picturing you in that scenario, with big glasses and all – just like the photos you sent me… except you had your hair in a cute ponytail, and your lips were even redder with lipstick… and you were wearing fishnet stockings up to your thighs – fuck, you got such nice legs, baby –, and you had a pair of those… what are they called. Uh, kitten heels. Yeah. Fuck, your ass would look unbelievable like that. I mean, it is unbelievable, you know what I mean? When you show up at the restaurant wearing those cute little dresses and skirts, I feel my dick twitching in my pants… that’s how hot you are, baby… that’s how crazy you make me feel.”

His words were streaming out like an avalanche – a filthy stream-of-consciousness. Flash images of all the times you were together pop into your mind. He was always nice and polite to you, if cheeky – that was his personality, after all. You’d never felt disrespected or threatened around him. Maybe that’s why, now that you knew he had been actively thinking about you like this… you were very turned on.

“Too much, sweetheart? You wanna keep listening to this filth?”

“… yeah, Mikey. Keep going. What happened then?”

“Then, I took you to a hidden corner in the library, rucked up your pretty little skirt and ripped your real nice dress shirt open… you know, so I could suck on your tits while I fucked you hard against some shelves. Didn’t even need to rip your panties off, ‘cause you weren’t wearing any. Just lifted you up and slammed my cock right into your pussy… God, you were drippin’ wet for me, and you mewled so sweetly… loud, too. Had to shove my fingers into your pretty mouth to keep you quiet. That’s what I imagined, sweetheart. More or less.”

The crass and vivid way in which he described his fantasy made you speechless. It was exhilarating. Knowing that all those times he had talked to you with a straight face, he had been actively fantasizing about fucking you hard. His words.

“Jesus Christ, Mikey”, you breathe out. “That’s… I can’t believe we had entire conversations while you had a cheap porn flick playing in your head”, you laugh softly, unconvincingly.

He sighed deeply. “See, I knew this was a bad idea… honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like shit. I guess I’m just a fucking perv-”

“Babe…”, you interrupt him, gentle, but firm, “shut up, please. I’m messing with you. I told you, it’s very flattering that you’re attracted to me. In fact… it’s super hot. Knowing you were having all those dirty thoughts about me while still being a gentleman… is making me feel all kinds of things, right now.”

“Yeah? What kinds of things?”

“Good things, Mikey… I’m so wet right now”, you mewl, the need for release in your core overwhelming the embarrassment you would be feeling otherwise. Without thinking, you kick the sheets away from your body and cup one of your breasts, kneading it and flicking your nipple – a moan leaves your mouth in a desperate plea.

“Fuck”, he whispers, “you got wet over that filth? Jesus Christ, baby. I won the fuckin’ lottery”.

You are burning with desire, and you can feel your pussy throbbing when you finally give in, sliding one hand down and shoving two fingers inside with barely any resistance. “Mikey… I wanna come so bad. Can you talk me through it… please?”

“Fuck… yeah, sweetheart, anything you want”. He moans, then, and you don’t think you have ever been so turned on in your life. Mikey Berzatto, a horny, moaning mess, jerking off in his mess of an office at 3 am… because of you.

Chicago’s Helen of Troy. You chuckled softly at the thought and decided to up the ante. “Baby… do you know what I was thinking when you were telling that beautiful story just now?”

He laughs, voice recked. “What, baby?”

You pout, and add another finger in, increasing the pace of the thrusts. “I wish you had pictured kissing me real hard, while I unbuckled your belt… would you let me get down on my knees for you, baby? I really wanna have you in my mouth, Mikey, like, right now”. Your words come out broken, sentences all messed up – you sound pathetic, but you are so past caring.

“Shit-”, a gasp, followed by a deep breath and the noise of something hitting a surface really hard. “… holy shit. Baby, I imagined all that and a whole lot more – seriously, you have no idea. Hell, if the lady wants to suck my dick, who am I to deny her, uh? Fuck. Would you let me fuck your mouth, baby…?”

You moan loudly at that and realize you need both hands, putting the phone on speaker – fuck the neighbors – and bringing your other hand to your clit, rubbing lightly, but fast. You were so close. The thought of kneeling on the floor, clothes and hair all messed up from Mikey’s hands, lipstick smudged… looking up at him, and watching his composure unravel because of you…

“Hm… yeah, Mikey, I think I would… ‘cause you’re so nice to me… such a gentleman, even when you’re fucking me hard… would you ask me real nice, baby? Hold my face gently in your big hands, while you fuck it?”

“Fuck, baby… I would treat you so right, you deserve everything-”, he chokes up and, for a few moments, you hear a distant cacophony of noises, like he’s put the phone down. Then, he’s back. “Sorry, sweetheart, I need both hands now”, he chuckles.

You giggle, “Me too… you got me so hot I’m fucking myself on my fingers and rubbing my clit at the same time… and it’s still not enough. I need you…”

“Fuck, that’s so hot. You fuckin’ yourself because of me… I know it’s not enough, baby… you need my cock, don’t you?”

“Yes! Mikey… please…”, you howl, completely out of your mind.

“How do you want me to fuck you, baby? Hm? Want it nice and slow? Nah… I think you like it fast and rough, don’t you? Long as I keep kissing you real good, touchin’ you real gentle, all over your body… you’d let me do anything to you, wouldn’t you?”. How he manages to say such filthy things with so much honey dripping from every syllable, is beyond you.

“Yeah, fuck, baby… it doesn’t matter. I’m so wet already, you don’t need to do anything else, just hoist me up in your arms and pin me against the shelves… and shove it in me”.

You are still holding onto a shred of decency because you blush at your own crass admission – still, there is clearly not a whole lot left, as you start rubbing your clit and fucking yourself harder and faster. “I don’t want you to be gentle when you fuck me… I just need to feel your cock stretch me open… wanna feel the sting of it for days, be at work and not be able to focus because all I can think about is how you fucked me so good-”

At this point, you have no idea if he can understand anything you’re saying, because your words are intercut with moans and gasps and mewls and incoherent babble, as you’re about to reach your peak imagining Mikey’s on top of you, railing you into the bed.

“Baby, I’m gonna come… fuckin’ Christ”.

“Mikey- fuck!”.

Your body shakes and your eyes roll back from the strength of your orgasm. Distantly, your brain registers a broken string of moans and curses from the other end of the line.

A few seconds pass, and you feel yourself coming back down to Earth. You lazily stretch out on the bed, completely relaxed and fucked out. “That’s so cute… we came at the same time, babe”, you happily whisper, a ditsy smile on your face.

He huffs, amused “Yeah… what can I say? I’m a romantic at heart”.

You laugh sincerely. “This was… so good, actually. I’m glad I gave into my instinct and called you”.

“Well, I’m even more sticky now”. You both laugh at that. “But I’m also glad you called… like, really glad. Uh, can I ask you something?”

You notice a shift in his voice.

“Yeah… what is it?”

“I don’t want things to get weird between us after this… Like, I don’t want you to feel like you need to do all these things to get me off. You know what I mean? It’s just a fantasy… I’ll have you in any way you want me. Okay?”

You feel a tightness in your chest, and you wish, not for the first time tonight, you had him right in front of you so you could kiss him all over and hug him.

“Mikey… I genuinely liked tonight. And the more we talk, the more I like you. You’re not the only one who feels like you won the lottery…”.

“Baby… you’re too sweet. Don’t you think you already got me blushing enough for one night?”

“That’s fucking rich. I must’ve gone through all shades of red tonight, because of your filthy mouth”.

“Please. You loved it”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, I guess I did”, you concede, with a smile.

After saying goodbye – and confirming that yes, you would very much like for him to pick you up and take you to dinner later – you fall asleep fast, your mind finally catching up to the pleasant tiredness in your body, a soft smile on your lips.

[jollyfunvoid]

Bucci gang headcanons

Bruno Bucciarati

-Wes Andersson fan (his comfort movie is Grandhotel Budapest)

-fave era is roaring 20s (aesthetic & music wise)

-listens to electro swing, swing, jazz and blues

-has a very strong sweet tooth. His cravings are so extreme he is able to eat whole giant chocolate on one go and not gain a single kilogram. His favorite ice cream is stracciatella and his go to dessert is tiramisu. If you wanna bribe him, use sweets

-loves Golden Girls (Sofia is his favorite character)

-hardcore Eurovision fan, always prepares for the Eurovision weeks in advance, it's like a holiday for him

-brings small camera with him everywhere he goes, gets very emotional and sentimental when taking pictures, loves to keep all the memories

-shares an old record player with Abbacchio, they collects vinyl records together

-in charge of shared Netflix and Disney+ account

-has an ornamental lower back tattoo which matches the one he has on his chest. Has a lot of tattoos all over his body in general

-is very good at sailing and has a captain's licence. As a kid he used to be obsessed with pirates, he still lowkey fantasizes about life at sea

-surprisingly a very good dancer and hella skilled belly dancer. He is also very flexible

-Caterina Caselli number 1 fan

-drinks a lot of coffee, never starts a day without a cup of cappuccino

-obsessed with candles

-as a kid he used to build wooden ship models with his dad. Now as an adult he still does it sometimes, when he is not too busy

-bought himself a sewing machine because he is really into fashion and wanted to start making his own clothes. Isn't very good at it tho, his sewing skills are poor, so he always ends up zipping everything up with his stand and then acts like that's how the "sewn" piece is supposed to look like

-has a sweet melodic laugh

-extremely flirty, he is a snarky little shit who loves to tease others

-"Oh my god look at the sky! The colors are so beautifl!" *takes a picture* "And the clouds? Wow!" *takes another picture* "Guys, come look at the sunset!" *takes 20 more pictures*

-has a very low alcohol tolerance (3 glasses in and he is under the table)

-although he seems like a very well put together person, he is very messy and tends to misplace things, especially when he creates extra storage with zippers he can't find anything. He calls it "organized chaos"

-can easily sneak up on others, he just silently spawns out of nowhere. Is it his natural ability or is Sticky Fingers involved? No one knows

-is able to talk his way out of anything, uses his charm to his advantage a lot. Also the master of puppy eyes

-suffers from PTSD because of the attack on his father, that's why he always sleeps with a knife under his pillow. Everytime he hears noises in the middle on the night he gets paranoid that someone is hiding in or sneaking into his home with the intention of harming him and his love ones. When the panic attacks hit him really hard, he irrationally makes extra safety precautions, such as blocking doors with furniture or leaving the lights on. Also has trouble sleeping in unknown places because he feels vulnerable and exposed to potential dangers, he is always in a state of high alert.

-his favorite season is winter, he enjoys Christmas the most because he loves giving presents and being with his family. He definitely plays an old Ella Fitgerald vinyl records during Christmas time

Leone Abbacchio

-tea lover, his favorite is earl grey

-doesn't like sweets, however he enjoys dried fruit (especially figs)

-Narancia is his favorite kid

-movies enthusiast, has seen sooo many movies and is the biggest critic. He has a Letterboxd account where he writes reviews. Loves watching old horror movies the most because of the gothic aesthetic, but DC movies have a very special place in his heart

-hardcore Depeche Mode, Calabrese and London After Midnight fan

-goes jogging every morning

-after getting sober he tries to look after his diet more, thanks to Bruno

-knows a lot about occult stuff

-secretly watches RuPaul's drag race with Trish

-owns a motorcycle

-named his stand after Bruno's favorite music genre to honor everything Bruno has done for him

-takes very cold and brisk showers

-taught all the boys how to drive

-thanks to Mista he became a huge Gorillaz fan

-since Moody Blues doesn't have lips, she communicates with him via symbols on her digital forehead screen

-never puts down his headphones

-has a playlist for literally any occasion. Tends to gatekeep music, you have to be very special if he shows you his playlists. Has made a playlist for each member of the Bucci gang, the only one who knows is Bruno (Leone created him multiple playlists, they even have a shared one, which they play when they are alone)

-his skin is very prone to bruising

-Moody Blues also allows him to see fragments of the past when he touches various items, he is able to sense the overall vibe and emotions of their owner and the situation they were in while using the item.

-his clothes may be dark, but I know for a fact his socks and underwear are colorful af, wild patterns all over

-his favorite season is autumn, he loves rainy and foggy weather

-the biggest prankster of the group. Everyone thinks either Narancia or Mista are always responsible for the pranks, but it is actually Leone. No one ever suspects him, because he doesn't look like the type of guy who would enjoy such childish things. And thanks to his stoic appearance he always gets away with it.

-true crime podcast listener. Him and Fugo share this passion and often discuss their favorite podcast shows. Sometimes they watch detective movies together and bet on who will solve the mystery first

Pannacotta Fugo

-reads a lot of crime novels in his free time, always comes up with his own theories and tries to solve the case before the detective (got mistaken only once and couldn't get over it for a long time). His favorite author is Sebastian Fitzek

-loves watching cartoons and animated movies, because he didn't get to enjoy them as a child

-hates horror movies because of loud jumpscares, but doesn't mind gore

-drinking green tea helps him to calm down

-gets sunburnt easily

-either never gets ill, or is sick for several weeks straight

-developed not only respiratory, but also digestive problems because of Purpe Haze and feels nauseous a lot (also throws up very often)

-uses make up to cover his facial scars

-his skin is extremely dry

-has a very light sleep, he finds it extremely difficult to share room with others during missions (he is only able to fall asleep with either Bruno or Giorno because they are not noisy sleepers like the others)

-Sheila, Murolo and him have regular sleepovers and movie marathons. They also cook dinner together

-his favorite bands are System of a Down, Slipknot, Bad Omens and Motionless in White

-can't go on rides in amusement parks because he gets sick

-him and Abbacchio visit rage rooms regularly

-always carries a book with him

-chews a lot of bubblegum to release his anger

-everytime the gang travels abroad he is the one who has to translate everything since he knows many foreign languages. He speaks english, french, russian, spanish and norwegian fluently, his pronunciation is so spot on you could barely tell he is not a native speaker. Doesn't have an accent at all. Also knows basics of sign language and cyrillic alphabet. He uses these skills often in Italy too, when he gets approached by strangers on the streets he pretends he is a confused tourist who doesn't undertand italian

-gets overstimulated easily, he is especially sensitive to noises (suffers from misophonia)

-bites ice cream and ice

-"the book was better than the movie" type of person

-picky eater, very cautious with unfamiliar food

-takes extremely hot showers. Whenever he is in the bathroom it ends up looking like a sauna in there. Also the gang has an unwritten rule that if they share a room during a mission, Fugo can use the bathroom first because he hates feeling dirty and has to use the shower immediately, otherwise he will be grumpy and won't shut up about it

-has a nasty skin picking habit, which results in him picking patches of dry skin and scabbed-over cuts and scratches (many of his injuries never fully heal because of this)

-never leaves the house without a hand sanitizer

-fidgets with his hands a lot when he is anxious

-goes to bed first and also wakes up the first

Narancia Ghirga

-vegetarian

-convinced Abbacchio to watch Brooklyn 99 with him (although Leone didn't like it at first, they now binge watch it together). They also watched Breaking Bad and What We Do In The Shadows

-has heterochromia

-thinks Orange Capri Sun is the supreme flavor and refuses to drink any other flavor

-created a shared playlist for the squad, he blasts it everytime the gang travels somewhere (it mostly consist of EDM, trap, phonk and rap)

-always beats everyone in Just Dance game sessions

-wears mismatched socks

-somewhat good at drawing, has a very unique cartoon caricature-like style

-hardcore Marvel fan (loves Guardians of the Galaxy the most), argues with Abbacchio a lot because he likes DC

-Mista, Trish and him had a podcast at some point

-his favorite candy is Kinder Surprise

-makes paper airplanes when bored

-bites people he love

-cries when animal dies in a movie

-suffers from seasonal allergy

-sleeps with tiny Creeper and Enderman Minecraft plushies, he takes them everywhere and even made them an instagram account, where he shares random pictures of them. When someone from the gang goes on a separate mission, he gives one plushie to the group or the individual, so they wouldn't feel lonely. And they also take pictures of the plusie and send them to Narancia.

-speaking of Minecraft, he manages a server where the gang plays together. He even created custom skins for everyone which look like their stands. Since he is the only one without humanoid stand, his skin is Mr. Smith, the pilot or Aerosmith. He wears a jacket with a picture of his stand in the back

-he is afraid of doctors and doesn't like hospitals. Everytime he gets sick or injured, he gets very anxious about his health. He hates dentists the most.

-loves when Fugo reads to him because he has a very smooth audio-book-like voice when he is calm

-experimented with different hair dyes couple of times, Trish and Abbacchio helped him

-die hard South Park fan, quotes the show on daily basis

-steals everyone's clothes. Can't find a shirt? Narancia is wearing it. Your hoodie is missing? It's in Narancia's closet

-has sticky notes all over his room, because if he doesn't have something written down, he will most likely forget it

-surprisingly very strong, the only person from the gang he is not able to lift up is Leone

Giorno Giovanna

-his emotions effect his powers (different flowers grow around him or from his hair when he gets excited, angry or scared), however he manages to control and hide it well

-master builder in The Sims game; doesn't care about the gameplay as such, he just enjoys building the houses and spends hours decorating them. Fugo loves to join his gaming sessions, but he on the other hand doesn't care about the houses or decorations, his goal is to always kill as many sims as possible (he loves to play around with various gruesome mods, which Giorno secretly enjoys watching)

-walking cottage core moodboard aesthetic

-goes on a picnic at least 2 times a week. In general preferst to eat ouside, terrace or garden are his favorite places

-has a very complex skincare routine

-heist movies enthusiast

-Trish got him into astrology and tarot cards

-loves theatre and poetry, even tried to write some poems himself

-writes official Passione documents on typewriter

-installed beehives in the Passione mansion gardens and makes his own honey

-collects dried flowers

-is the best liar in the group

-a bug magnet, there is always some type of insect crawling on his clothes

-him and Fugo have library & bookshop dates, they also visit museums together and exchange random facts about nature. Nerds in love, what can I say

-caramel is his favorite ice cream and dessert toping

-has a small floral tattoo on his wrist

-autistic

-loves taking bubble baths

-takes part in any bet without hesitation, no matter how absurd it is

-very bad dancer, has no rythm, but he is the best singer from the group, his voice is angelic

-very rough driver; hits the breaks hard, pumps up the gas fast and does very sharp turns. Also drives hella fast

-learned how to differentiate the steps of other people (especially the fellow teammates, since they live together). This is an old habit from his childhood.

-he walks very quietly, others barely notice when he walks into a room or when he leaves

-hates the smell of cigarettes

-others think he has a very odd music taste, because he will be singing a song from a Disney movie and within a couple of minutes you can catch him vibing to Banshee. He is forbidden to play his music in the car because it consist of all kinds of genres it makes it almost uncomfortable to listen to. His fellow gang members say his playlists are inconsistent, but they just make sense to Giorno.

-speaking of music, he is a huge fan of Hozier, Die Antwoord, Ghostemane and Little Big

-very creative, his hobbies include all kinds of crafty ativities, such as sewing, embroidering, pottery making, felting, knitting, soap making, candle making…. you name it, if he can create something, he will. And he is very good at it

-extremely fascinated by venomous animals and poisonous plants. The deadlier the better. His obsession with killer plants led to him nicknaming Fugo "his aconito", because he associates the aconite flower with his stand (it disables nerves, lowers blood pressure, and can stop the heart, plus it's purple). His other favorite flowers associated with Fugo and Purple Haze are Nightshade, Love in a mist, Spider lily and Morning glory

-zones out a lot

-sleeps with dozens of pillows, when he sleeps he is literally burried under them

-when he gets overwhelmed he lights up an incense stick and it calms him down. He is very fond of nice smells.

Guido Mista

-enjoys shitty movies, especially buddy commedies and low budget rom coms. Abbacchio hates when Mista picks films for the movie nights. Bruno on the other hand loves it

-Adam Sandler number 1 fan

-signed up for an archery course, also tried to use crossbow at some point

-can fall asleep anywhere, snores very loud

-likes the weirdest food combinations (like ice cream and pickles and stuff), the type of person who eats fries with McFlurry

-kills bugs with Nerf guns, Giorno hates it

-plays airsoft and paintball in free time

-enjoys camping, rockclimbing and rafting. Outdoor activities are his thing

-hella superstitious, made up various rituals he repeats in order to avoid bad luck

-very religious, always says a prayer before every mission

-reggaeton is his favorite type of music

-idk why but him having diabetes makes so much sence, since Pistols have to eat regularly to keep his energy and sugar lvl. stable

-mayo is his go to dressing with everything (fries, hot dog, nachos...)

-him and Narancia have 1am fast food trips

-makes silly bets with others and always challenges them to do something stupid for money, Giorno is always the first one to participate

-the best hugger

-big brother energy, everytime the other teammates screw something up and are afraid to tell Bucciarati or Abbacchio, they go to Mista for advice. He is extremely responsible and can always keep his head clear in stressful situations

-claims to hate drama but is always down to listen to some fresh tea

-loves watching cooking competitions. He is always judging the contestants harder than Gordon Ramsay ever could, Abbacchio occasionally joins him because he finds it amusing

-whenever someone tells him "I love you" he replies "Ditto", referencing one of his favorite movies (Ghost, 1990)

[dandylovesturtles]

Lil missing scene from the movie

My favorite trope is when a character who is very hungry gets fed

———

Casey’s stomach growls, and he can only hope it’s masked by the rumbling of the tank as it travels through the subway.

He’s good at ignoring hunger pangs by now. Knows how to swallow them down and push ahead, had to learn because there’s never been enough food to truly silence them. Maybe when he was a child, and the adults in his life were fine with going with less when it meant he would be full, but as Casey’s body grew and demanded more and more the colony only had less and less.

He just hopes the turtles didn’t hear it. It’s embarrassing, and not really the impression he’s trying to give. And besides, it’s not like there’s anything they can do about it. They’re not going to stop for lunch.

Unfortunately, his stomach has other plans - right as there’s a lull in the conversation it growls again, and this time Michelangelo turns away from the console and looks at him in awe.

“Dude, was that your stomach!?”

“Uh…” He grins, trying to shrug it off. “Yes?”

“That was sooo loud! I thought there was a bear in here!”

“Oh. Sorry. Uh… it’s been awhile since my last meal.”

He’s hoping they just drop it there, but…

“How long is “awhile”?” asks Leonardo. He sounds unimpressed, and there’s the same piercing look in his eye that Sensei would have when he’d ask the same. When’d you last eat, kid?

So Casey knows there’s no dodging this one. The thing is, he’s not sure how to answer the question - there was the whole time travel business, and the mission before that, and the time he spent unconscious, and the attack on the Foot Clan…

Point is, he can only guess. He hopes Leonardo doesn’t see it as lying.

“Um… thirty five hours? Maybe?” That’s a pretty conservative estimate, but he hopes it flies. “But I’m fine! I’ve handled worse than this.”

Leonardo staring at him. Actually, they’re all staring at him. None of them look happy, and Casey’s stomach flips from something other than hunger.

Then Leonardo sighs, and he sounds disappointed. Casey opens his mouth to plead his case, to assure Sensei that he’s fit and ready to go, but Leonardo interrupts him by addressing Donatello instead.

“What’ve we got in the snack stash, Dee?”

“Hmmm…” Donatello flips on the autopilot again, leaving his chair and flipping open a compartment on the wall. “Sour candy, hot Cheeto’s, some snack cakes…”

“Oh, you don’t want any of that on an empty stomach,” says Michelangelo. “Trust me, it’s not worth it.”

“Well, we have some pretzels in here, and… oh.” Donatello’s voice goes a little quieter. “Some of Raph’s protein bars.”

Casey starts to insist that he doesn’t want to take Raphael’s food, but before he can Donatello has closed the compartment, wrapped food in hand.

“If you’ve been eating,” he makes a face, “leaves and rats, this is probably the best thing we can give you right now.” He fans them out. “We have plain and chocolate chunk.”

“I like the peanut butter ones,” says Michelangelo, “but we can’t keep those around.”

(A memory: Master Michelangelo making him a peanut butter sandwich as a special treat. Carefully wiping down the counter and utensils he’d used. When Casey asked, he’d said, “Because Raph-“

The sad look on his face was brief, but Casey never forgot.

“…Because we need to be careful, in case someone has a peanut allergy.”)

“I know.”

He takes one of the plain ones, unwrapping it hesitantly. Sensei’s voice echoes in his head, Eat slow. Small bites.

He knows he should, but when he tastes it his stomach roars to life, ravenous and angry. Before he knows it he’s eaten the entire bar in four barely chewed bites, and wishes he hadn’t because now it’s gone and he feels hungrier than when he began.

They’re still staring at him. He doesn’t know what to do, so he just says, “Thank you,” sincerely, because sharing food is the ultimate gesture of love in the apocalypse.

The rest of the bars are suddenly being shoved his way - four of them in total. “Here,” says Donatello, not meeting his eyes. “You can have the rest.”

“Ah, no,” he says quickly, trying to push them back. “I can’t take-“

“Raph always forgets they’re here, anyway,” says Donatello, waving him off. “Someone might as well eat them.”

Casey takes the bars. Donatello sits back down. They’re not looking at him anymore.

He looks at the protein bars in his hands. He’s still hungry.

He takes smaller bites this time. Savors the taste of oats and other flavors he can’t readily identify. It’s good. It’s really, really good.

He stows the last three bars away. He may need them later. Or maybe he can give them back to Raphael, after they rescue him.

“Three minutes to Metro Tower,” says Donatello, and he focuses up. His stomach’s quiet now - there’s no excuses.

He found the key. Now it’s time to stop the Krang.

[maple-the-awesome]

Friend or Foe || Part 2/3

Part 1 || Part 3

Pairings: Time, Wind, Wild x GN Reader

Overview: Link visits an alternate world without its hero and, more importantly, a version of you without your Link. Unfortunately, it seems even the smallest of details can lead to disastrous results. In spirt of Halloween, I've decided to do a little evil prompt because none of the Links have enough emotional damage yet😈

Zelda Masterlist 💙Fandom Masterlist

Time may not remember everything that has occurred over his many, long adventures, but he does remember the day you met. Only children then, you both made an innocent promise to marry once adults. Now, Time may be a lot of things, but he has always been a man of his word. How could he not be when presented the perfect chance to spend the rest of his life with his childhood crush? You’re the one person he can trust with his every secret - the reward at the end of every troubling journey. He lives to see your joy and dies to see your sorrow, even when it isn't exactly 'your' sorrow...

It's difficult business keeping track of eight young boys and men, especially when they're all cursed with the same adventurous spirits that are easily distracted. Of course they’ve managed to disappear here. He can only blame himself for not having questioned their silence sooner, although he’d be lying to say he doesn’t feel disappointed, notably with the older boys, Twilight and Warrior, who are usually more responsible than to simply wander off without a word of explanation. Alas, even they’re nowhere to be seen, his only hint of other life nearby being a giggle that echoes off the vast number of gigantic trees.

"My, my. One more left I see?" Time leaps back, hand already on his sword when he hears the voice, “Oooh, and look at you! So handsome! So fierce! I’m digging the scar - it makes you look so tough. And those muscles, too! You seem like you would really know how to -”

“- Where are you?!” Time demands, getting his answer promptly when a figure swings down from a branch mere feet away from his face.

“Wow! You’re even hotter up closer!”

Time's eyes widen in surprise due to both their sudden entrance and their physical appearance. This mysterious person has wild hair that sticks out in every direction with their body lacking a healthy weight or color, yet Time immediately ignores all of that in favor of focusing upon the mask they wear - one he knows all too well but wishes he didn’t. He thought, for a second, that he may have recognized their voice, too, yet he’s more certain that he must be mistaken in that regard. No way it could be…

“Hey, you were traveling with those other boys, right? So maybe you’ll be nicer by giving me the answers I want! You see, beautiful stranger, I’m looking for a special friend of mine. We made a promise a while back and I intend to fulfill it if I could just find him first. None of the travelers I’ve found in these woods so far are him, so I was beginning to lose hope until I overheard those friends of yours mention his name, but they -”

Time can’t move, his body overcome with a chilled wave that ends with his feet cemented to the ground. It would be reasonable to say he misheard the first time, and he could keep denying it if he wants now, but that wouldn’t change the fact that he does recognize this person’s voice. How could he not when it’s the same that belongs to his own person angel? It’s a disordered version of yours, however this person isn’t you. This can’t be you because last he checked, you were safe back home where you promised to wait for his next return. How could you suddenly be here in this world, kept under the binding influence of Majora’s Mask?

“- Hey, are you broken?!” This person - who still so eerily sounds like you despite Time’s refusal to admit such a thing - knocks a fist against his forehead, barely flinching when he jerks back with a gasp, “Sooo? You gonna help me or just be difficult like your friends, eh? I don’t have all day, miser!”

Perhaps this ‘you’ is simply a figment of his imagination created by the forest to torment him; that must be the answer. He just has to play the game - no matter how much it messes with his head - to find out what happened to the boys. He’s dealt with enough Skull Kids before, this would be a piece of cake.

“I -...This friend of yours, who is he? Someone you’ve lost in the forest?” Time asks carefully, doing his best not to react too much outwardly, after all he’s seen first hand how Majora’s Mask can affect the mind of its wearer, and this ‘you’ before him has already clearly been put through the wringer.

“If I knew where I had lost him, I would’ve found him!” You snap in irritation.

Time swallows, “...Right, that does make sense, but perhaps if you could tell me his name, I could offer you better help in finding him?”

You seem pleased by this answer, swinging yourself upright on the branch where you become illuminated only by the glowing eyes of your mask, “Link.”

“L…Link?” That cold feeling from before returns, making Time suddenly feel sick to his stomach as the dots finally begin to connect in his head. This is no figment of his imagination - no trick of the light or evil illusion. It really is you…not the same version of you he married, but the other he promised to…

In Wind’s world, you're an adored teacher on Windfall Island. You’re kind, caring, and very knowledgeable about Hyrule's history which came in handy whenever he needed pointers during his early adventures. Yes, you would express concern over a child of his age partaking in such dangerous affairs (you thought it was all a joke when he first told you) and you've let it slip before that you aren't the biggest fan of pirates, although beyond your mother-like worry which you’ve adopted towards all your students (even the unofficial ones like Wind), you’ve ultimately supported him every step of the way. You've always been a huge role model for him, so this shift in personality is more than unexpected...

Wind was excited to show his new friends around what he thought to be his own Hyrule and relieved to discover they weren’t alone on this island they’ve found themselves stuck on after wandering through another portal. A pirate ship anchored on shore - the very ship belonging to Zelda’ crew, as Wind foolishly assured the others despite their caution. Now, thanks to his impatience and eagerness, he sits saddened and embarrassed next to the rest of the heroes as they remain tied to the ship’s mast. 

It’s confusing. The pirates of this ship are the same as Zelda's crew, yet they claimed to not at all recognize the younger pirate regardless of his attempts to jog their memories. Instead, they had rounded him and the rest of the Chain up the second they approached their dock, taking them prisoner where they currently wait for 'the Captain's reaction'. 

The Captain. This made Wind feel relieved again. Zelda. He doesn't know why the other pirates are acting so strangely, but Zelda will be able to clear this whole mess up, in fact here she comes, dressed in her normal pirate attire Wind's accustomed to seeing.

"ZELDA! Goddesses, am I glad to see you! I don't understand what kinda trick the guys are trying to play on me, but this isn’t the time! My friends - they're all heroes of courage like me and we could really use your help to -" The words come so quickly from Wind's mouth that Zelda barely has time to look disgusted. 

"How hard did you exactly hit this guy?" She asks while looking to Nudge then back to Wind with a smirk.

"Wha - I'm serious! This is urgent, Zelda -!"

"- Who?" She places her hands on her hips, generally seemingly confused which makes Wind's blood run cold, but not as much as it does when another voice speaks.

"Oi, what's the ruckus out here, eh!? I thought I told ya' lot to keep it down - Oh. What do we have here, umm?" The doors to the Captain's cabin burst open, out walking a figure dressed head-to-toe in a bright red uniform with a large black, white, and magenta feather sticking out from their hat.

"Captain," Zelda immediately backs off from Wind, "These guys were just caught after trying to rush our ship."

"No, that’s not what we -!"

"- Little thieves. 'thought they could just follow us here and steal our treasure!" The pirates hiss together, although you take more time to look over the boy in front of you along with his companions.

"You all look familiar…" Your statement - as disinterested as it sounds - almost gives Wind hope. Almost, "Lock 'em up in the cellar where I won't have to listen to their annoying bitching. Gonzo, set a course for the Forsaken Fortress. I think Ganondorf would like to meet these boys. Tetra, you stick with me."

"YES, CAPTAIN!" An assortment of shouts follow, both from the pirates who follow your every order loyally and the heroes who express their dismay. Wind, however, can only stare in complete disbelief and betrayal as you look back at him once more, your eyes dark from underneath your hat's shadow which is a sharp contrast to the usual warmth that he knows you for. 

Wild lives with a lot of heavy regrets weighing him down, perhaps the most unspoken being his missed chance at ever telling you his true feelings. You were an ever-so-dear friend to him before the Calamity - someone who never expected the impossible from him and always offered a shoulder to lean on should he need one. He loved you quite a bit; something he remembered almost as soon as he remembered you. He has often visited your grave, replaying past events in his head while suffocating in his own guilt from not having protected you. He has sometimes begged the Goddess to let him see you again, even if just to apologize, but this isn’t what he had in mind - far from it…

Wild’s version of Hyrule is chaotic and messy; a land that thrives off of quiet hope and the shattered remnants of a once mighty kingdom. Zelda has mentioned the theory before: that like Hyrule, Wild needed to become something else - something different and unruly in nature because if you can’t beat it, then join it. 

With that said, he’s accustomed to using a lack of forethought, at least in any way comparable to his past self (which is what he tells himself, anyway). As far as he knows, before the Calamity, he was as straight-laced as they come, always concerning himself with his public image and focused on never letting anyone down. He’s nothing like that now, often running into danger head first with messy hair and a blaze of fire following his trail. You would think after the amount of concussions and scars he’s gained, he would’ve long learned his lesson, but alas, he raced through this dungeon with little worry as he’s done many others because his confidence - or perhaps his dull wit - has once again outweighed any common sense. 

Now this is the price he must pay for his own ignorance: a nightmare reanimated before him as it taunts and tortures his inner conscience…and all he can do is accept this horrid punishment in frozen terror as you stalk across the room towards him.

When he raced ahead of the others and turned the key, he expected to be greeted with the typical dungeon boss - an overgrown bokoblin or fiery wizard. He didn’t expect it to be you, crumbled on the ground with gloom affecting your entire body. He didn’t expect for you to react so harshly to his presence, throwing him across the room with a blast of magic when he tried to reach your side, desperate to know how you’re alive and if you’re okay.

You look as angry as you have every right to be, your face curled into a snarl as you come closer, eyes narrowed in an orange glow and a sword in your hand…yet Wild could do nothing but let his knees buckle from underneath himself and dig his nails into his scalp as he asks himself over and over again how this is possible. How are you here? How are you alive? How were you affected and how does he fix you? …He can’t, though. He let you down then and has no idea how to save you now despite having been granted the gift of your presence again - the very thing he’s been begging for.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” He cries, not sure if it’s for you or himself as he sobs your name with the same heartache he would over your grave, “I’msorry! I’msorry!”

“IT’S AN ILLUSION, WILD! IT’S NOT THEM!” Someone shouts from behind - someone who he’d usually easily recognize as Twilight yet his mind is in too much of a rush to even listen to his concerned friend’s words, let alone care about his identity. 

Wild can only think of his final moments with you. The day you ‘casually’ told him about plans to try a new restaurant in Castle Town and how you were looking for someone to join you. Foolishly - ever so foolishly - he asked if your sister wouldn’t go, generally confused that you, someone so kind and loved, would have trouble finding a willing companion for any aspect of your life. 

Bashfully, you agreed to ask her, and that was it. You walked off, leaving the poor hero to wonder why you looked so dejected and heartbroken. The next time he’d see you was a mere picture an old woman showed him, curious if you happened to be the one he ran into town desperately searching for. The woman - your niece, as it would turn out - confirmed his worst fears, explaining that while you had survived the initial attack during the Calamity, you like many others soon succumbed to an illness Purah now theorizes to have been a result of close contact with gloom. 

Wild can only imagine your final moments, poisoned by gloom and betrayal much like this other version of you is. If only he had done his job properly, you would have never felt such pain. You, like your sister, would have grown old and lived peacefully as you deserved. He, himself, wouldn’t have to forever live with this guilt he bears from your death - guilt that tries convincing him it would’ve been better if Twilight hadn’t pulled him away from the danger, instead allowing you - even if not truly you - to get some sort of revenge for his mistakes. 

[nepentheseeker]

Lookism Ending

When the mystery of the two bodies end and Charles Choi is finally defeated, I want lookism to go back to the old lookism era where everyone is being silly and doing dumb shits (like Jacedaichi arc or Seonong goes to Seoul arc) and finally pursuing a career as they'll be an adult.

Yenna will be in kindergarten! maybe Zack will gain enough courage to ask Mira out and he'll become the official best boxer of the world, honestly I want to see them getting married (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠), Zoe will probably ask Daniel out too (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠),Jay won't feel lonely anymore , all of his businesses will be successful(⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠ゝ⁠◡⁠`⁠), Vin wouldn't be scared to walk outside without his sunglasses and only wear them when it's a sunny day or two avoid unnecessary attraction, I hope he becomes a better person- and will apologise to Duke for what he did. Maybe he'll actually focus on improving his rap lyrics and will eventually become a famous rapper :⁠,⁠-⁠). But will still get his ass beaten by Mary for being rude sometimes. Mary supremacy forever ᕙ⁠(⁠＠⁠°⁠▽⁠°⁠＠⁠)⁠ᕗ. And when he'll retire from the industry, he'd go back to cheongliang and teach Ssireum or maybe he wouldn't become a rapper at all - and would go back to cheongliang right after graduation. Mary would probably go back to Cheongliang after graduation to teach judo and compete in Olympics and win <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>. Excited to see how Leonn and Vasco ship will sail . BNC will be doing what they're doing but I think Jace will become a private investigator . I can literally see Vasco encouraging him to date people - bro is still traumatized for what happened with him last time (ಥ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠ಥ)

Honestly I have no idea what'll happen to Crystal.¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Samuel's inferiority complex will be gone and he'd be buddies with Jake, Big Deal will be alright again. Maybe Samuel will help them with an excellent marketing strategy so the girls wouldn't have to work so hard anymore. Maybe he'll join Big Deal again? Who knows. Man , I'd love to see Jake, Samuel, Sinu, Jason, Brad, Jerry , Yeonhui , Luah together being funny af again. Big Deal and its bromance - I miss it so damn much.༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Johan's condition will be cured by Jinyoung. Maybe not totally but enough to live day to day life better than he ever could. And he'd finally see how much Zack actually cared . He'd meet Mira again but this time only platonic love for her . Yup , he's a man of his words so he'd still take care of Mira forever but! as a friend.

Cause ofc our girl Luah would make him fall . He didn't fell first but definitely fell harder. This two would be so cute (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

Thanks to Jay, Hostel would be fine too . Sally and Warren will finally become official. ( It'll be a great opportunity to tell your non lookism reader friend that Uncle and Big Mama are getting married and you're so happy for them without any context ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯) Amy and Natalie would be in highschool , may Max and Derek's food truck be famous in Gangdong. And Eli will finally master the art of cutting hair (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠) and have his own salon. And as I said earlier, our lil cute princess Yenna would be a kindergartener (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

It'd be sooo wholesome man .

[juuuulez]

📰 | part four: capulet.

info: Carl Grimes x Saviour! Reader, enemies to lovers, slow burn, follows slight canon, no use of (y/n), non-graphic violence, morally grey reader.

summary: Carl and Enid are at the Hilltop colony at the same time as the Saviours’ arrival. A fight ensues.

previous | next

Thank you all soooo much for the lovely messages regarding this series!!! It’s managed to motivate me to finally finish this part. I’m on my very last few weeks of school (as in…of my life) so it’s very hectic atm, but coming on here always is a nice escape.

Next chapter will feature Carl’s breaking into the Sanctuary…. sooo a bit of fun there.

After the whole ordeal, in order to hide from Negan and the Saviours, Maggie and Sasha had relocated to the Hilltop colony. It was upsetting at first, being so far from their friends, especially as most was too busy to visit.

But not Enid.

She’d made the effort to get there, plus the company of Carl, and found that it was a rather pleasant trip. After all, who doesn’t like fooling around a little with a boy? It took away from all the pain and suffering in the world, even just for a moment.

That moment sure didn’t last long.

It was her second day at the Hilltop, and Enid was tending to some of the garden near the fences. She found life at Hilltop to be more her pace, less restricting than Alexandria. Carl was nearby, leaning against a wooden pole, keeping up the casual conversation. The two were able to talk about everything and nothing at the same time.

The Saviours were here, they knew that, but it wasn’t their problem. Another bonus of being away from Alexandria. Simon and his men mostly left them alone, likely terrorising some adults, or their leader.

Enid and Carl were mid conversation when her eyes began to drift, like they usually did. Over to that spot near the compound’s back, where two fresh graves sat. She couldn’t tear herself away.

Except this time, alarm bells went off.

You were standing right there. Next to the two plots, looking down at them. Bat in hand. It appeared merely innocent, but she knew something was up. You were evil. One of them.

Little flecks of dirt are caked on her hands from gardening, but Enid doesn’t care to wipe it off. Suddenly she’s standing, storming over there, and Carl is subject to helplessly follow as he realises what was happening.

Though Enid knew very well that you typically meant trouble, it was Carl who had an actual insight into the logic behind your violent tendencies. This was likely a confrontation you would not take lightly, given how hotheaded Enid could be.

“Wait, maybe we shouldn’t—“ Carl attempts to contain the situation, but she’s already approached you, already speaking with such a determined candour that he can only stand back and watch

“What the hell are you doing here?” Enid practically seethes, standing there next to you, on the grass.

You’d heard the footsteps before the pair approached. Therefore, you weren’t at all surprised to turn and spot Enid, basically verging on intruding your personal space. Maybe an intimidation tactic. You appeared slightly amused, metal bat in hand, hanging at your side.

“Paying my respects, obviously,” You point out, giving a nod towards the two muddied graves. That grin doesn’t falter, “Which, by the way, haven’t seen from either of you towards any of my dead. Thanks a lot.”

But then Enid is speaking again, fire on her tongue, venom laced in her words. “Your dead don’t deserve any respect. They deserve to be six feet under, goddamn scum.”

“Enid.” Carl says as somewhat of a warning, not exactly scolding, just a concern for what may come of this. It falls on deaf ears, as you are letting out a low whistle, feigning being impressed.

“My God, girly. You are cold,” It’s said in a taunting manner, stepping away from the graves, approaching Enid slowly. “Is it that time of the month, or what? Because you seemed pretty damn timid in Alexandria last week, so excuse me for being a little shocked at this confidence.”

“We are going to kill you,” Enid says, ignoring your attempts at provoking her, “And your people, and Negan. You can’t get away with this.”

You roll your eyes. This conversation, again?

“Don’t think so,” You chime, stepping closer. At this point, you are right in front of Enid, your noses could be touching if you moved any closer. “Because we already have gotten away with this. You are under our control. When will that get into your thick-as-fuck skull?”

There’s a look of anger on Enid’s face, discontent. Offence at your blatantly cocky attitude. “You talk big game, but you aren’t half the survivor you think you are.” She sneers.

It only causes your smile to grow.

“Oh, I’m not a survivor. I’m a winner,” You point out with a sense of pride, “And you, and your friends, are losers. Hence why I’m standing over their graves, and not you to mine.”

Then Enid lunges forward, but you step backwards, just enough to evade being hit. At the same time, Carl is gripping onto Enid’s forearm, pulling her backwards as he’d similarly predicted her intent to strike.

“I would not do that if I were you.” Now it’s your turn to sneer, unimpressed with the downright disobedience and attempt at appearing threatening. Though you do not fear Enid, you’re irritated with the lack of respect.

But Enid can’t stop. Her face is scrunched up, desperate to break from Carl’s hold, ready to take you down with her bare hands. “I’m gonna kill you, and then let you turn. You will live forever as a monster and you will fit right in.”

“Enid!” Carl finally scolds, sensing the rising tension, desperate to avoid letting this spiral any more. After all, he’d been there. He knew how disobedience was handled. It was a death sentence.

They don’t respect you. These people don’t. Or, Enid doesn’t. Nor does Rick. You remember your fathers words: respect is gained through examples. Show them what they have to fear. This world is no place for empty threats.

So, you swing.

There’s a bystander off to your left, you’d taken note earlier. Your metal bat makes contact with the young man’s skull, reverberating through your bones and sending the innocent person to the ground. A silence falls over Hilltop.

“Too goddamn late!” You jest, and it’s disgusting how intoxicating it feels. Their obvious fear fuels your fire, your desire to uphold this commanding persona, to never be spoken down to.

You’ve done it.

It’s evident by the shock on Enid’s face, basically pale as a ghost. By the way everyone stands there, still, waiting.

You grin, swinging the bat at your side, no longer addressing Enid and Carl, but the audience that you’ve gained throughout your squabble.

“Are you gonna help him, or what?” You suggest with a scoff, rolling your eyes. A few diverge from the crowd, kneeling in front of the man. “It’ll just be a minor skull fracture, geez. Talk about a tough crowd.”

Throwing one last look to the pair, you make your departure. Actions, not words, you reminded yourself. A demonstration.

The man is carried away, and Enid’s eyes follow the crowd that slowly dissipates. She’s horrified. She feels sick, actually. Like she may be physically ill.

Seeking validation for this terrible event, she turns to Carl. But he doesn’t appear nearly as fearful as her. He looks furious, actually.

“What was that?” He asks, brows furrowed underneath his hat. It causes Enid to do a double take, mentally checking everything that has happened.

Enid scoffs, “She‘a psycho, that’s what.”

“No, why did you say that?” Carl rephrased his question, and it’s becoming increasingly evident where his anger is directed. “What did you think was going to happen? That was your fault.”

“Bullshit!” Enid practically yells, but is quick to check her temper, not wanting to worsen the situation. “I didn’t hit him! That was all her.”

“You weren’t there, Enid. Okay? You don’t understand.” Carl emphasises, yet doesn’t wait for a reply. He steps to the side, swiftly moving forward, towards the gates of Hilltop.

Enid is left speechless.

And Carl has devised a plan.

[biconickyoshi]

I absolutely love your Zukaang AU <333 It's currently one of my favorite fanfics in the entire fandom!! But now I'm so starved for more Zukaang... Do you maybe have any fic recs? If you wish to share!

Aww omg thank you so much, anon! So happy to hear TAatFP has become one of your favorites in the whole fandom! :D

Sooo to answer your question: as a fic writer, unfortunately, I'm often so busy working on my own fic that I don't tend to have the time to read other fics 😅 (I have this problem with real-life books too)... I do have a ton of Zukaang fics bookmarked, but I've only read a handful.

Orbital Decay by my good friend veggiesforpresident is a fic set after the war (probably about a decade or so after the main series). The Gaang are all adults, and it focuses on Zuko coming to terms with his sexuality and realizing his growing romantic feelings for Aang. It's written mostly from Zuko's POV.

The Avatar Zuko series by my friend the-cloud-whisperer (she has lots of other Zukaang fics too) is really good as well - I haven't finished it yet, but there's multiple parts, so you can really sink your teeth into it! It's an AU where Zuko is the Avatar, Aang is his airbending teacher and best friend, and Zukaang is endgame (Aang is 16 in this AU). Cloud does an excellent job of incorporating aspects of Chinese culture into the fic, and there's a spin-off fic that focuses on Lu Ten that is SO good too.

Could We Have Been by ashleepuff is an ongoing canon divergence AU in which Zuko actually talks to Aang after the events of "The Blue Spirit" (Aang is 14 in this AU afaik). I haven't read this one, but it's in my bookmarks!

The Jasmine Dragon by razielim is a Zukaang coffee shop AU, and that's all I really know lol. It's another one that's in my bookmarks, and it seems to have quite a few kudos.

Some other active fic writers in the Zukaang community that I would recommend checking out are chocomd, ttwhatever (aka my-cabbages-gorl), EmbraceTheFlamingo, and southwest-trickster!

If anyone else is a Zukaang fic writer and you're reading this, feel free to add your own fics in the comments!

[aihoshiino]

An Interview with Ai: Da Vinci Magazine Jan. 2024 (4chan Anon TL)

In the issue of Da Vinci Magazine dated for Jan 2024, there was an exciting surprise - four whole pages of an in-character interview with Ai of B-Komachi! Taking place shortly before her 20th birthday, Ai discusses various things with the interviewer, resulting in some surprising new information about her relationships with certain characters and her own home life...

To be clear up front: This is not my translation! I'm archiving and mirroring it from 4chan where it was originally posted by an anon. I've made no changes to the text save cleaning up some grammar errors and typos and formatting it for tumblr. I plan on doing my own translation of the interview, either via scans or buying the magazine myself when I have the money, but for now, I hope this will do!

Q: It seems to have been a turbulent year for B-Komachi and Ai as well. Looking back, what was your impression?

Ai: That's true. It really went by in the blink of an eye. Everyone was so busy, myself included. It was so strange. Before I knew it, we were already scheduled to perform in the Tokyo Dome (laughs). I thought to myself, "I see... so we did come this far."

Q: You have taken on many challenges so far. What is your most memorable job?

Ai: I had a great time in all of them. There were also many occasions when I thought, "Are they asking me to do this too!?". But if I had to pick something other than my idol activities, then my most memorable job would be all the times I had to work in movies. I met so many people that, at the end, it felt like hanging out with friends. And then, in the blink of an eye, the job would be over (laughs).

Q: You were really getting into it (laughs). But acting is completely different than being an idol. Did you find it difficult?

Ai: For me, it is normal to be photographed as well as being filmed while singing, on a music video, or during variety shows. I wonder if I was able to put that experience to good use, but then I think about it, and I believe I did it perfectly!!

Q: ...so was it difficult?

Ai: Having to deal with the waiting time was more difficult at first. I know I shouldn't say this, but sometimes I was sooo bored (laughs). But finding new ways to kill time was fun.

Q: It's like the saying goes, "Waiting is part of an actor's job."

Ai: Oooh, I had no idea there was a saying like that! How interesting!!

Q: Looking back, Ai's first drama was directed by Taishi Gotanda, and then you worked with him in subsequent films too. What impression do you have of him?

Ai: He has a scary face. But when I talk to him, there are many times when it feels like he's just a useless adult. In that aspect, I can sympathize with him. There were times I was eating my lunch, and whenever rice fell while eating, he would just jump and say, "WATCH OUT!" like a mom (laughs). But well, I love his works. Whenever I watched them, it felt like, "Ah, his passion for authenticity is genuine." As a creator myself, I knew I could trust in him.

Q: It certainly feels like he's good at depicting the inner lives of characters.

Ai: That's right, it always feels like instead of characters, his works show real people. And I love that. I'm not a big fan of movies; at most, I watch some dramas recommended to me, and they are usually really entertaining! I think I'm not good for the roles of such characters, and I thank that director Gotanda's works aren't of that type.

Q: Your acting feels quite natural. What kind of acting guidance did the director give to you?

Ai: None, really. He just said, "Do as you please," and I just went with it. However, I don't think everyone was on the same page. In one of the sets, there was a child actress called Kana Arima-chan. She is suuuuuper cute, and whenever she was acting, I was thinking, "Wow, she's just like the character," and that's when it sunk to me that actors are capable of anything.

Q: Maybe it was possible that you, without realizing it, were asking Arima-san to lead the scenes?

Ai: Pretty much. In fact, she even scolded me (laughs). "Can you take this a bit more seriously?" she told me. I was doing my best, though! (laughs). But seeing Kana-chan so serious about doing a good job made me want to put even more effort into my role.

Q: That reminds me, there's a child actor from Ichigo Pro called Aqua-kun working on it too.

Ai: Ahaha, Aqua-kun was so cute too! He has such a mysterious charm, it made me wonder "maybe he's a genius too?" Don't forget to watch his future projects, alright?

Q: I won't. Returning to the topic of your activities as an actress, what part of it was the most interesting for you?

Ai: I still have problems understanding what "acting" means. Sometimes it felt that, well… rather than trying to find a character in myself, the character itself was taking over my own actions. Even thought I was acting, I didn't feel like myself, as if every action was being performed automatically. But rather than make me wonder about my talent or lack of, I guess it was all thanks to the wonderful script.

Q: I see. So in a way it's similar to separating Ai as a person and Ai as an idol?

Ai: There are parts of myself that I still don't understand, but I believe it's the same for everyone. Everyone acts with an idea of what they "want to become". Until now and from now on, I will continue working hard just so I can become the person that everyone wants me to be. In that sense I could say that I'm acting, playing the role of Ai. Of course it doesn't mean that I'm forcing myself to, it just happens unconsciously, naturally. I also have to face everyone in B-Komachi, how cute they are as well as their honesty. They show that cuteness to the fans, and for me, that's not an act.

Q: And said B-Komachi is now going to perform at the Dome. Why do you think the group is so beloved by fans?

Ai: It's because we worked together, because I knew that by working seriously we could go this far. Also I don't believe the Dome is our ultimate goal, or better said, I can't quite grasp how amazing is for us to perform there. Our boss said that he always wanted to see us perform there so I decided to do my best in order to make that dream come true. That's why, till now and from now on, I will continue working hard to fulfill everyone's dreams.

Q: So Ai's forte is to want everyone around her to be happy.

Ai: Yes. But I wonder if the rest thinks the same.

Q: Don't you have any personal ambitions?

Ai: Ah, now that you ask, I have a bit of a naughty opinion and is that I'm happy that we are selling a lot and getting a good amount of money (laughs). Being able to buy a really expensive ice cream is pure bliss. As for the rest, just seeing my fans happy is enough to make me happy too. But rather than happy, I guess it makes me feel at ease.

Q: When you say you feel at ease, is that similar to saying that you found a place where you belong?

Ai: A place where I belong… I'm sure everyone search such thing, I think it's the same for some members of B-komachi.

Q: …is it different for you?

Ai: I can't quite tell, it's something I'm having problems figuring that out. Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in place, but then I feel like the energy I receive from everyone allows me to do my best as an idol as well as my other jobs, and in exchange, I'm able to bring smiles to them.

Q: I see. It's true that many types of fans have enjoyed your live performances in the past. Which reminds me, there was also this one video of baby twins cheering for you that went viral.

Ai: Oh yeah that one!! I can't believe how those babies could swing those glowsticks like that. It was so cute~. I feel so much bliss every time I watch it.

Q: During a TV show when they showed that video to you, many people in social media pointed out your smile while watching it

Ai: Oh right! I thought it was the same smile I always had. When I read those comments I couldn't help but ask to myself "Eh? What is so different?"

Q: From now I'll be making questions a bit more private. Could you tell us about how were you during your childhood?

Ai: I don't think I was a good child. If anything, I was a really nasty brat (laughs). Because our house was close to the railroad, during midnight I would often walk near the tracks wondering if the train is coming close. Once I hear it, I would run away. If I tried that today, I'm sure it would be a problem (laughs)

Q: Did you wonder where did you want to go back then?

Ai: I wonder. I didn't had an specific place in mind. I lived with my mother, but she had a boyfriend back then, always living in their own little bubble being loveydovey and it was rough for me. I just said "Ah, this is not my place" and ran away, I could think about the rest later.

Q: Maybe going to a friend's house was a better option.

Ai: I've always been a loner, since I was a kid. There were many times when people would get irritating and I would just prefer to be alone playing Tetris. Of course, that doesn't mean that I would take loneliness over company, but at times I could tell that, whenever someone was around, the mood between people would go sour and I then stayed away from them.

Q: But then, are there any fond memories you have from your childhood?

Ai: Let's see… I do remember my dad. It wasn't something that happened often, but this one time, we went to the grocery store and bought some natto. Then, when I took the plastic from it and wrapped it in seaweed, he said, "Oh, you did it well," and that made me happy. That's why, even to this day, I'm quite skilled at wrapping food in seaweed.

Q: Being praised by your parents is usually trivial, but for some, it's something fondly remembered when it happens. From your perspective, what were your parents like?

Ai: Maybe they were like me, seeing things from the same perspective. Rather than seeing each other like family, it felt more like partners in a way. But I can't hate them for that, no human is perfect and no one is actively seeking a parental role.

Q: That's quite a mature way of seeing things. 

Ai: I wonder. I'm in a parental role too… ooooor so I think that's what I feel whenever I see a child with their parents in the audience. It's because of my experience in my childhood that I can't comment on other parents whenever their children do something bad. Parenting is difficult, I'm sure.

Q: In that case, if Ai ever had a family, would you also treat your children as friends or partners instead of keeping a parent-child relationship?

Ai: It doesn't matter. As long as everyone is happy and smiling, then it's fine with me. If you asked me what a perfect family is, I just wouldn't know how to answer that. But it would be one as long as the children are happy. If I had a family, I would do whatever it takes to achieve that.

Q: I know I shouldn't ask this of an idol, but do you have someone you want to marry?

Ai: ...That's a secret (laughs)

Q: You were scouted in order to be an idol. What were your impressions about idols back then?

Ai: For me, they were so pure, always shining, and doing their best to support and care about their fans. That's how I saw idols. If the job of an idol is to make people happy, then I wanted to be like that too, well I'm still working on it.

Q: And now that you are one, has that image changed?

Ai: They are hard workers, just as I imagined. There are times when things get rough, but then I push myself like, "Let's just do it" and continue with pure momentum (laughs)

Q: It would be weird to not get used to the routine.

Ai: But I love it, with its ups and downs. There's been times I felt like I was doing something wrong, that maybe I didn't belong here, but then I remember that being able to be an idol is wonderful.

Q: For Ai, is this your dream job?

Ai: Hmmm, I wonder. I wouldn't go that far. A real idol truly loves their fans, is always kind, and would never lie. I'm still trying hard, doing my best, wondering if one day someone will look at me and say, "She is the real deal.".

Q: But there are many who describe Ai as an "unmatched genius idol."

Ai: Why do they even call me something like that? I'm just there in the group, being myself; I don't know which one of my actions qualifies me to be called that.

Q: In that case, for Ai, what does it mean to be an idol?

Ai: At times, I think that being an idol means being "able to express herself to others." Sounds cool, doesn't it? (laughs). In reality, I believe that it's about being able to replicate what others want from you. ….Hmmm, I guess it makes it sound like school or something.

Q: Do you feel B-Komachi in the same way?

Ai: B-Komachi is different. I met everyone when the group was created, and we wasted no time getting into idol activities. If I lagged behind even a bit, I felt like I was causing problems for others. But with the passing of time, we managed to spend more time together, and I feel like we share an irreplaceable bond.

Q: What is exactly this "irreplaceable bond"?

Ai: Ah, it's nothing too deep. It's just that I've started hanging out with the rest more often. I'm quite a home person, so when I ordered food for everyone, Takamii (Takamine) would get mad at me because the vegetable portions were too small. "You lack femininity! You will never become a wife at this rate!" (laughs). I never said I was thinking of becoming a wife! (laughs)

Q: (laughs) Earlier, you said that sometimes you felt alienated during your childhood. Didn't that cause problems for you, considering that you were chosen as the center of the group?

Ai: Kinda does. Even now, I still wonder if I should be the center. There are more capable members in the group. Of course, I feel honored, but I'm still unsure if I'm doing it right. Maybe other members should be in my position. Besides, it's hard to memorize the dance as a center (bitter laugh)

Q: As a final question, what are the current goals for B-Komachi?

Ai: We have new members joining us this year, so we are even more hyped than before, and we are finally performing in such a big venue as the Dome. B-Komachi has finally become a great group, and I'm sure they will be fine even after I'm gone. Not that I'm planning on quitting (laughs). All the members are so hardworking, kind, and cute. From now on, please, pretty please, support them as much as you can.

[tragedy-peanut-gallery]

what are your thoughts (and potential headcanons) about aegon iv's nine mistresses?

Ouffff well I gotta be honest I probably won’t have as many headcanons about them as I did for the daughters in law of Daeron and Myriah- but I’m more than happy to share my thoughts about them!

Falena Stokeworth

Thoughts: Groomer!!! Get lost lady you’re literally his dad’s age!!!!! Should’ve locked her up in Harrenhall and thrown away the key maybe!

Headcanons: Honestly I think canon already kind of spells it out for us given her age relative to his own, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was preying on Aegon’s whole mommy issues deal in order to get into a relationship with him. Pain and suffering all around.

Megette

Thoughts: Honestly poor girl she deserved sooo much better :( pretty sure her whole deal was supposed to be another commentary on how nobility don’t actually give a shit about the smallfolk even when they’re lovers and all that, but goddamn I just feel bad for her :(

Cassella Vaith

Thoughts: Ngl another girl who deserved so much better- it’s kind of weird how they give her a description but not the other mistresses but hey who am I to judge- makes her easier to draw ig?

Headcanons: Oh she was absolutely psychologically tortured during her time with Aegon because that man is notttt capable of being nice to any woman. I imagine the reason she wasn’t married off after being returned home was because of how traumatized she was

Bellegere Otherys

Thoughts: Okay this may sound stupid as hell given all the shit I talked about Aegon prior to this but like…. Idc, I support her decisions in choosing one of the most rancid men in Westeros to be her lover. In her defense!!!! Pickings for royalty were very slim- her only other options were a former teen dad who’s still hung up on his ex wife and is always busy trying (and failing) to keep his nephews from dying, a member of the kingsguard who’s obsessed with his own sister, and Baelor, of course she was gonna go for Aegon! Bellegere can get the one exception because I think pirate women are really cool and tbh I think she’s also the only one who was with him for funsies before dropping his ass like a sack of potatoes when he got too annoying for her

Headcanons: Ngl I kinda like to think her daughter Nahra took up the whole trading/smuggling/pirating business after her, and Bellegere got to retire and chill in Braavos watching all the shit go down with the Blackfyre rebellions. Good for her <3

Barba Bracken

Thoughts: I mean…. She’s a bitch, but tbh she kinda deserved better too. Even if she is meant to be a bad person, she was also just a teenager when Aegon began sleeping with her and was mostly pushed forward by her own dad, and its sad that she then continued the cycle of abuse to her own sister :(

Headcanons: I kinda like to think she and Daena had a very toxic frenemy-ship, that’s my main reasoning to explain why Aegor was so loyal to Daemon lmao

Melissa Blackwood

Thoughts: I mean, she’s one of Naerys’ only canonical female friends so she gets an automatic like in my books. And also kinda funny that the Bracken/Blackwood slap fight actually caused another Targ civil by just pushing their female relatives in front of a horny king. She absolutely deserved so much better

Headcanons: I refuseeee to believe she died in childbirth, in my head she’s also retired chilling in Raventree Hall with her daughters and occasionally got updates from Brynden about the war crimes he was committing <3

Bethany Bracken

Thoughts: Deserved so, SO much better. Mr lord Bracken sir I will see you in HELL!!!!!

Jeyne Lothson

Thoughts: Only thing I have to say is…. Absolutely gothic horror girlie because holy shit. My god. Was George intentionally writing her story to be horrifying or was it a weird fetish- I’m hoping to god it was the former. Anyways she absolutely deserved so much better than all the adults in her life

Headcanons: For added flavor aka more horror! I do headcanon her to actually be Aegon’s daughter, and I believe Danelle was either her daughter or granddaughter because- well, we do definitely need to sprinkle in some more cursed bloodline shit to the house that’s already doomed cause they’re living in Harrenhall, yippe :))

Serenei of Lys

Thoughts: Boring as hellllll that she died from childbirth like- COME ON!!! Let the lady die from implosion, or slipping on a banana peel or something!!! Also kinda sucks that we barely know anything else about her! I want the lore George!!!

Headcanons: Due to lack of lore, I’m stealing someone else’s previous headcanon that she’s actually a Hightower bastard because 1. Absolutely hilarious and is absolutely the level of hustling scam-artistry that I would expect during Aegon’s reign, and 2. Kinda explains her whole deal- why Jon even brought her to court, why we know nothing about her past, why she’s so distant and kinda secretive. Shout out to whoever came up with that headcanon cause that lives in my head rent free forever now

[shopwitchvamp]

Ello!! Same person who was trying to emo-fiy his mom lmfao. (Just changed my username) but anyways, how exactly did this business start? It seems newer.

How new does it seem? I'm curious!

Witch Vamp has been solidly it's own thing since 2017, though it was originally "Witch Vampire" for a while and only on Etsy / at conventions. I think my first skirts hit the con scene in 2015, but at the time the vast majority of what I was doing was crocheted amigurumi plushies (which I'd been selling since 2008).

The most ancient of my skirts!

This is gonna be SO long sooo if you want a whole spiel, it's under the break-

How those first few skirts started was that a friend said, "Hey, I found this place called ArtsCow where you can get custom clothing printed! Wanna try making skirts?" And I was desperate for anything I could try selling that didn't involve me literally and actively breaking my body to produce it (I had multiple bouts of tendonitis in my wrist from crocheting a ridiculous amount to produce enough plushies for cons ✌️🥲), so I tried designing some patterns to put on skirts, zipper bags, lanyards, etc. After a time, skirts were doing really well in particular.

Between 2015-2018 there was a gradual shift from the focus of my time/work/con tables/etc going from plushies to clothing. By 2019 I gave up crocheting all together and had fully shifted my focus to Witch Vamp, and it's also when I set up my shopify so I could have a stand-alone site and start escaping Etsy.

Side note, 2018 and especially 2019 I was slowing down on cons a lot. I used to get sick all the time, be exhausted and miserable all the time, and generally had started feeling too old & weary to keep doing them at such a grueling pace. I also spent about 1/4 of each of those years having run off to Japan to do an English teaching/Japanese learning exchange program in a countryside town called Ojiya. Going into 2020 I thought I might be returning to Japan to teach full time and help the program director open an English school for adults in a nearby city.. But 2020 had a big surprise in store for us all, didn't it? As you can guess those plans got absolutely demolished. So 2020 hit and cons got cancelled, Japan plans got cancelled, thankfully I had already started up my shopify so I went fully online-only pretty quickly. Things started picking up quite a bit in 2021 & 2022, and in 2022 I left Fresh Hot Flavors (a group shop I was in with other artists, including the one that got a bunch of us ((as in me, FHF, Vetiverfox, and Maya Kern)) all started on this clothing journey) to only run Witch Vamp. Around the same time my partner quit his increasingly awful job and started helping me out with the shop instead. January 2023 is when we made the business part of our partnership official and Witch Vamp became Witch Vamp LLC. Up until then I'd been a sole proprietorship the whole time and doing all of everything myself. With my partner around to start taking on various tasks (like fulfilment and customer service emails) and with my clothing order schedule no longer being tied to FHF, things started to speed up a ton. This is when Witch Vamp fully coalesced into Witch Vamp as it is now, with the weekly restocks and more frequent new designs and preorders. If you consider the business as having started (in it's current state) as when the LLC was formed, then yeah it is pretty darn new! But depending on when you consider it starting it also goes wayyy back. It's been a long road, haha. PS: if you're interested in seeing old designs, plushies, and con tables from my past life, I made a big long post about it -here- :D