#but I am Autistic so that should be a good excuse

[lunakagayake]

I tried the crisp sandwich and I hope Britain discovers spices— no wait don't discover anything I take it back

[trans-leek-cookie]

Thinking about geto because I want to pour milk on him and throw him against the wall. Imo his beliefs are inconsistent and self serving (which makes sense because he developed said beliefs at age 16/17 while his mental health was at an all time low). Because while he seems to have the primary motive of "only sorcerers = no curses" taking into account how he treats Maki, who has no cursed energy, it shows that the "no curses" thing isnt the main focus- bc while he decided on tbe "forced evolution" thing, theoretically he should not be Opposed to ppl w heavenly restriction bc. They still fuckin. Don't contribute to curses from what I can tell. Also heavenly restriction is pretty obviously something that is punished by uh. Is it just the Zenin's who have it. Anyway they hated Maki and they Hated Toji so he clearly isn't standing for "oppressed sorcerers" bc if so Maki should be like. The kind of person he wants to help more, as someone who would be oppressed by ppl who aren't sorcerers as well as the powerful clans.

Anyway. While getting rid of curses is for sure part of his motivation, as well as helping sorcerers (see Nanako and Mimiko) id honestly argue that his main problem that lead to him spiraling was. How do I put this. Being knocked off a pedestal

Because he was one of 3 people given the ranking of "Special Grade", and he and satoru are grouped as "the strongest". And consider that satoru comes from a powerful clan and literally has some weird omniscience and invincibility shit going on so that's a whole fucking. That's gotta be a wild ego boost, especially for someone who comes from a family of ppl who aren't sorcerers. Like you spend all this time being a fuckin weirdo and then someone finds you and it turns out you're actually incredibly special and strong, given the same rank as a fucking God Child? You're gonna have some wild self perceptions after that

Anyway then you get to watch your invincible friend get stabbed, watch the girl you became friends with and feel shitty about kinda ruining the life of get shot, and get your whole shit rocked by some guy who can't even use the magic power bullshit you have. (Though he's got a whole physical thing going on because of the trade off)

Also writing all of this out actually makes me understand the Cult Leader progression more, like besides the fact they killed ur friend and you want em dead. You're probably struggling with your ego (especially since your weird God like friend got a whole power boost from the situation) so you create a fucking eugenicist cult where you can consistently prove your superiority to yourself (surrounding yourself with people who will agree with everything you say).

Anyway in a similar vein I wholely believe in "a loving father is not inherently a good father" Suguru + Nanako & Mimiko dynamic

Final thought is roughly I feel like looking at Suguru thru the lense of "this character had a level of privilege that they felt they truly deserved, and after experiencing events that are genuinely traumatic and horrific for any person, they develop reactionary beliefs to try and regain a sense of superiority and control" rather than "oppressed minority who killed oppressors and wants to do eugenics"

[neverendingford]

.

[th3-c0rps3-r0gu3]

Arranged marriage

Chapter three

Royal au

Princess Natasha X queen autistic reader

Warnings: Natasha being a bitch. Natasha being jealous. Woman flirting with y/n. Swearing (minor) lemme know if there anymore. Natasha getting feelings? Oblivious y/n

Natasha pov

I want to rip out my eyes. Why on earth am I here. This is so stupid. Riding in a carriage with this idiot queen. Those are my first thoughts as I stare angrily out the window of the carriage me and queen y/n are sitting in. Said queen is hiding from the crowds of people outside the carriage. She's so backwards. Never wanting too many people around and only tolerating socialisation for a specific time frame before vanishing for sometimes days. In my opinion she's not fit to be a queen.

Fresh air finally. I think to myself as me and the idiot behind me climb out the carriage into the town square. People have crowded near the carriage. Ofcourse they have. Their "queen" is here. I grumble slightly as the guards help down y/n. Gods she can't even get out a carriage by herself what a useless idiot. I don't know why but my thoughts of rage and hatred have increased towards y/n. Perhaps it's to make up for the fact she's cute and her hands are soft and she really nice. Like right now with how she's thanking the guard who helped her over and over like the absolute sweetheart she is. What. No. Absolutely not. Y/n is a idiot on the throne and I will murder her. I don't find her cute I don't find her sweet and Queen y/n is not a sweetheart.

There's a wyvern on that houses roof. I wonder if y/n will notice it and rant about its species. I already know it's a wyvern because y/n said earl- why am I thinking that. It's just an idiot dragon. And boom y/n has seen it. She's ranting again. Gods I hate it. What on earth is a blood bellied wyvern and why does it matter. That dragon was black not red. I hate cobblestone too now that I think about it. My heels keep threatening to buckle beneath me. Good thing I'm an absolute goddess and can walk in heels anywhere.

Y/n pov

The carriage ride to the town square was quiet. I didn't want to interrupt Natasha too much. And if I spoke even a word I'm pretty sure she'd tell me to shut it anyway. Besides looking out the window was fun. I saw so many different dragons. I wish I could've been able to get a proper look so I could see what species they are. There's so many people outside watching the carriage though. I should've held this off until my social battery filled again. I am going to hate this trip. I really should stop letting Natasha's parents coerce me into stuff.

Finally the carriage stops and the doors open and fresh air hits me like a train. I go to step out but a guard offers me a hand. I have told them to stop doing that. They really should listen I can get out of my own carriage. But I accept his help not wanting him to feel foolish. The cobblestone streets are filled with people and horses and carriages. I like the town. Aside from the bustling people and market stalls scattered around the town square it's a nice break from the palace. A nice break from being a queen. Princess Natasha is scowling. Like always. I am pretty sure it's her default expression.

Me and the princess have walk a little now. Passed a stall selling dragon egg remains. I don't like those stalls. They often steal and break dragon eggs to get the product. I shudder slightly. Natasha hasn't been paying any attention. She's been grumbling about idiots and cobblestone. She wore heels so I guess that's why. Should've worn flat shoes like me. I did tell her so. I look up at the houses around us and.. no way. A blood bellied wyvern right there on the rooftop of a civilian house. They only come down this way in the winter! I've never seen one before aside from in books.

My mouth is running again. I never know why I do this. But I excuse myself mentally this time since I've never witnessed this dragon before. Their scales are reflective of their blood colour which is why they're called blood bellied wyverns. Well the belly part is because you see the actual veins and blood but still. I haven't had a single interruption from Natasha yet. She's just walking silently beside me as I rant. I slow down and pause looking at the queen feeling a bit bad now. I must've pissed her off in some way again.

"are you ok princess?"

I ask hesitantly. I don't like the way Natasha has paused. She's staring at me funny and I'm prepared for her to scowl and scream at me. She huffs instead.

"I'm fine just keep walking."

I blink surprised as Natasha keeps walking and I speed up to catch up to her.

Natasha pov

She's still ranting. Something about the wyverns scales reflecting their blood colour.. oh that's why it's called whatever it was. I can't help but steal glances at y/n. She's so annoying. So very annoying. And absolutely perfect at the exact same time. No. I won't go down that rabbit hole. I am not stupid. Falling in love is for pitiful useless peasants. Not royalty. Why does my heart not agree with my head. It's stupid. I'll fix it.

"are you ok princess?"

Y/n's voice stops me. That's not about dragons. I glance down at her attempting a scowl but I can't respond. She's looking at me with wide y/e/c eyes and I can't help but find her expression adorable. No. No no no no no. She's not adorable and she's not cute. I huff slightly shaking away all those intrusive thoughts

"I'm fine just keep walking"

I scowl again as I pick up pace once more. Y/n speeding up to get back to my side. She's so small. Like a puppy. No. Absolutely not. Puppies and y/n have nothing in common. I'll kill her. And I won't feel bad about it and I won't regret it. Everything will be fine. I go to yell at y/n as per normal but she's not by me anymore. I glance around and.. there. By a stall selling books and scrolls. I stand and watch her annoyed. Ofcourse she'd stop to look at scrolls and books. And judging by her expression it's dragon bullshit again. The woman serving her is leaning over the counter and talking to y/n about different species. That grin on the merchants face. That's not a friendly grin...

It's been ten minutes and y/n has not stopped talking to the merchant. She's bought atleast three books and five scrolls. And that merchant is clearly flirting with y/n. Doesn't she know the queen is engaged. To me no less. Why is this bothering me. I mean I should be annoyed it's taking so long that's normal but why am I pissed that the queen is being flirted with. Why does it irritate me more than the books. I want to tear that merchant's eyes out and turn them into a necklace for y/n to wear and I don't know why.

She touched her arm. That merchant touched y/n's arm. And I don't like it. Rage hits me like a brick. That bitch can't touch what's mine. There is a clear engagement ring on the queen's finger and it's public knowledge that y/n is betrothed to me. I storm over absolutely enraged at this pathetic sellers attempt to steal MY y/n. Swiftly wrapping an arm around y/ns waist I glare down my nose at this merchant. Watching in sick satisfaction as she backs up scared. Good to know she recognises me.

"back the fuck away from my fiancee."

I snarl. Pulling y/n closer to me. She's so small and she's looking at me shocked. I'll deal with it later. That merchant gets the hint and backs up mumbling apologies and handing y/n her books. I grab them and pull the queen with me away and back towards the carriage. I don't y/n until we are both in the carriage and leaving.

Y/n pov

I saw a dragons scroll and books stall. That looked fun so I told Natasha I was looking at it and went over. I haven't seen this stall before and it has so many books and scrolls. Most I already own but a few I don't! I immediately purchase the scrolls and books I don't have. It would be foolish if I didn't. A waste. Besides I'm the queen I can do as I please. The merchant running the stall is wonderful too. She's really friendly. Immediately we are in conversation about gilded bronze dragons and their subspecies. I haven't met a single other person who could talk dragons with me.

Don't recognise the touch at first. The seller just put her hand on my arm and smirked at me. I blink and smile back not really knowing what's happening before I'm grabbed into someone and the merchant is backing away. I frown wanting to continue talking about dragons and books still. I glance at the person who grabbed me prepared to tell them off for grabbing me politely because yelling at people is Soo mean and I don't have the heart until I realise the person who grabbed me is princess Natasha romanoff.

"back the fuck away from my fiancee."

Natasha scowls at the merchant as she pulls me closer. I didn't realise how much taller the princess was compared to me. Jesus Christ am I actually that short. I blink slightly and glance around trying to gouge out if this is normal or weird and nope this is definitely weird the townspeople are looking at us funny. I'm about to speak until Natasha grabs my books and scrolls and begins dragging me back to the carriage. I don't even argue with her I'm in a state of shock. I never thought I'd see the day Natasha would get... Jealous?

A/n: I am sorry this is so late I didn't like the ending originally and rewrote it like three times so I haven't been on much but I've started chapter four and I will go back to normal posting again I promise.

Tag list:

@cd-4848

@idkwhatever580

@gemz5

If you wanna be added to the taglist just ask in the comments:)

[transmascpetewentz]

hey so. can we all agree to stop saying "asperger's syndrome".

the arguments have been made already for why the term is offensive to autistic people as a general whole, so i'm not going to repeat them here. what i want to focus on is the less talked about issue with the fact that we as a community still use this word.

there is literally no excuse for any person, but especially jewish & romani people, to have their medical condition named after a fucking nazi who tried to genocide their ancestors. ZERO.

and before i get a ton of people in the replies trying to make excuses, let me pre-emptively answer the most common replies i know i'm going to get.

"ohhhh no but it's sooooo hard for me to switch my language, it's only been ten years since the dsm five came out!!!!!"

boo hoo, it's hard for you to use a different word after over ten years of the dsm five removing asperger's as a diagnosis. it must be soooo much more difficult to give a single shit about jews and roma than the experiences of jews and roma who went through a genocide and are still facing violence to this day /s

"but i'm an aspie and i get to reclaim that word if i want!!!!!"

yeah, the term asperger's syndrome is offensive both to autistic people who fall under the criteria and to autistic people that don't. but do you know who else that term is offensive to? the people who went through a genocide. unless you are jewish or romani i don't want to hear it.

"but i was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome before the dsm five came out!!!!!"

see the above two points about how not continuing to glorify genocide is more important than keeping the same words we've always used for things. it's fine to say you were diagnosed with asperger's, but you do not have "asperger's", you have autism (or are autistic if that's the language you prefer).

"but i didn't know that asperger was a nazi!!!"

well, now you do.

"but naming a medical condition after someone doesn't necessarily glorify them!!!!"

would you apply this logic to literally any other field of science? if we decided to name an element after a nazi, people would rightfully be angry. people have been calling for years to rename a beetle named after a nazi. if you name a medical condition after someone, that generally means one of two things: the person was a very important and good researcher in the field, or the person was a notable person who had the medical condition. this might be a hot take, but i don't think that a nazi scientist working for the nazis should ever be considered the best and most important early researcher in any field to be deserving of having a discovery named after them.

"but you can't speak for all jews!!! look, you aren't even jewish yet, it says that on your profile!!!!"

no, i cannot speak for all jews. but i am speaking for myself when i say that all of your (general) excuses have stopped working, and that y'all need to put others' needs above your feelings sometimes. during the writing of this post, i spoke to other jews who have made posts about this before, but y'all continue to ignore jewish voices and make excuses for yourselves when it really isn't that hard to just stop saying a word.

"you're being ableist by telling me, an autistic person, how i can and cannot identify!!!!!"

i'm writing this post as someone who is autistic and would have been diagnosed with "asperger's syndrome" had i gotten my diagnosis before the dsm five came out. being autistic is no excuse for being racist, antisemitic, or any other bigotry. autistic non-jews have continuously spoken over autistic jews on many issues, including this one, and guys, it is not that hard to care about jews and roma enough to make this tiny change to your vocabulary.

i hope all of this has been enough to ward off some of the responses that i'm going to get to this post. i'm willing to engage in good faith if you're genuinely ignorant or confused, but if you have read this post, you no longer get to say that you "didn't know" that hans asperger was a nazi and that we shouldn't name any medical condition, but especially one that many jews and roma have, after people who committed genocide.

[scamallach-1]

When fellow “US” settlers tell each other that they wanna learn about indigenous decolonial land back here on this land but then spend time making an issue about their time, saying they don’t really have time to educate themselves, my autistic ass is at a loss. Cus I’m stumped. You say you want to learn and then when provided with resources your regular response is that you don’t have time? I see it constantly, this excuse. In comment sections when people ask questions and then claim they don’t have time to read the answer; in my own circle when my fellows blab about things they don’t know and then when presented with correct answers and sources, they get quiet and say they just haven’t had time to look into it (yet that doesn’t quiet their mouths on shit they don’t know). We settlers need to ask ourselves right now what we are willing to change for the greater good. If you make a bed from selfishness then expect to sleep in it, I think.

I can’t make other people work decolonial edu into their schedules, I can only send them the resources directly from where I myself am learning about decolonization: the First Nations educators and historians and scholars and Black New Afrikan educators, historians and scholars. If you want to learn about this stuff - and you must - I think it does require making the sacrifices in your daily life necessary for you to be able to do that. Settler-colonialism has us in a chokehold so we need to be more than what it ‘allows’ in order to unlearn it!

I don’t know what other settlers want me to say? Do they want me to be wishy-washy with them about it? Say that whole “if you have time, please consider, sometime…” No, i am not gonna say that because I believe that is bullshit and nothing will get done with that passive attitude.

I do think we working class/poverty class/disabled settlers need to help each other be able to prioritize this education NOW. The indigenous and Black educators we learn from also have jobs, also have children they need to care for, have personal responsibilities and important things to do - and have active genocides against their people. They believe full-heartedly in working toward decolonial land back because of course they do. This is their lives, and not just individual by individual. They’re working for their people’s liberation in the face of settler-colonial genocides!

And so when we look at our work and school and family schedules - as settlers, no different in status than the “Israeli” settler occupying Palestine - and we prioritize our own overwhelm when we are asked to make the fucking space and take the fucking time for this imperative education, so we can be ready accomplices to decolonial action in the coming years, you gotta know how fucked up that is. We should no longer snap into this typical self-serving behavior!

No, I’m not going to say anything less than what I believe is factual, based on the edu ive so far learned from the indigenous and Black liberationists who are telling us, with their radical perspective and wisdom, what we need to do and how we should go about it, even as potential settler accomplices. Prioritize decolonial edu. Make fucking room.

We settlers should all help each other to accomplish this. Plenty of settlers like me with learning disabilities are out there trying to encourage others and make it easier for people to read the histories and theories. People break this information down for you so you can learn it in different ways (audiobook recordings, forum discussions, infographics that take a couple min to read, key histories in “less than 6 minutes”, YouTube interviews and discussions, podcast discussions, free book banks with PDFs, free articles). We have different ways of learning and in different stretches of time available - I really think what matters is that you work to get it done regardless of daily constraint. Show some solidarity. Working class settlers are not the center of the oppressed under settler-colonialism. We are the settler-colonialism. We must actually work to dismantle it by following FN leadership.

The idea that anything liberating and meaningful just falls into someone’s hands is a white supremacist lie.

What I wish is that in my circle at least, fellow settlers would say “I want to learn this but it’s hard and I need help, will you help me?” — to which I would do all I can in order to ensure they can learn. I have more time than others do because I work only part time due to my disability - but that is time I have to give to discuss, share, read-to others (I have dyslexia but I will fucking READ TO YOU because I know how hard it can be!) The point here is, if you begin your edu, you won’t be alone. Reach for support to make it happen and there will be people who will take the endeavor seriously with you.

But you have to be committed to learning this going forward. You have to actually want to begin learning about decolonial land back.

[starfallforest]

Stop putting 'Too Sweet' by Hozier in your Sylus playlists

I am sorry—this was clickbait. I don’t actually care what you do with your life. But I need you to hear me out for just a second, okay? I am extremely not neurotypical about two things: Love and Deepspace, and Andrew John Hozier-Byrne. And I have seen more than one person in the tags talk about "Too Sweet" by Hozier being a perfect song for Sylus and MC. My only discourse about this is that Too Sweet is a song about a man who makes continuous self-sabotaging life decisions being incompatible with a partner who has her life put together. In my humble opinion, both Sylus and MC are hot messes of people in completely different ways. Anyway, it’s a good song so I don’t blame you for putting it in every playlist ever. In fact, you should. But if you're into this song, I want to show you a couple more pls pls pls 🙏​

I might just be autistic, but both Hozier's music and Love and Deepspace have something extremely important in common… and that’s BEAUTIFUL MEN YEARNING!!!1 And that’s not even to mention the haunting, raw sexuality we can project onto the stories that each of these things feeds to us. That's why I needed to make this post on the 1% chance that someone might hop on this brainrot train with me. So let me present, for just a moment of your time (if you're willing): other Hozier songs that fit Sylus so well I want to combust about it.

De Selby (Parts 1 & 2):

“At last, when all of the world is asleep You take in the blackness of air The likes of a darkness so deep That God—at the start—couldn't bear.” [azlyrics] [gaelic translation]

Imagine just casually writing THE love song that so beautifully says, “Before you were in my life, I kinda understood how God felt before he created the universe.” Excuse me? Andrew just dropped this stanza on us without so much as a cw: fuck you. And if that sickening portrait of gnawing loneliness isn’t enough, we have all the Genesis God references. Since all the LIs in the game are at some point likened to gods or rivaling gods with their power, then add the reverberating instrumentals and chillingly slow vocals in this 2-minute killer, tell me how this song does not fit Sylus. Not only that, but we also have imagery of his lover descending upon him like the night (which is invoked during Part 1 in the Gaelic verse), and I know that’s on the nose for Sylus but come on. I need you guys writing smut to have an orgasm during De Selby (at least Part 2) because it might change ur brain chemistry I'm just saying.

“When you fall on me like night—I wanna kill the lights.” [azlyrics]

This song still rules irt its playing with darkness symbolism, but it also refers to the darkness in the singer’s lover—which in Sylus’ case is MC and we all were there when she shot the guy in the heart like his freaky eye was telling her: “And your heart, love, has such darkness—I feel it in the corners of the room…” my goddddddd stop right there I can’t handle the METAPHORrrr. You think Sylus gives a flying fuck about MC’s frivolous morality bullshit? No he wants her to embrace her own darkness, sit under the blankies with him and cuddle after doing crimes and a beat poetry session. This is some fucking Hannibal Lecter beyond-dark-romance shit. I’m not even trying to write a dissertation here (and yet…)

Talk (from Wasteland, Baby!):

“I'd be the sweet feeling of release mankind now dreams of, That's found in the last witness before the wave hits, marveling at God… Imagine being loved by me.” [azlyrics]

Not only does this song utilize insane Greek mythology metaphor and Biblical comparison but the overall meaning of it is, “I want you so bad, I need to speak poetically to hide how down bad I am for you.” That sounds kinda like Old World Sylus and all his pretty nicknames to me.

NFWMB:

“If I was born as a black thorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, Fuel the pyre of your enemies… Ain't it warming you, the world going up in flames?” [azlyrics]

This whole song just some hard, deep and steady yearning for 4 and a half minutes. Are you kidding? The acronym in the title stands for Nothing Fucks With My Baby, which is sung in the chorus like some quietly violent war chant—soft, dark, and powerful. Anyway don’t tell me Mr. Sylus “Give me a list and then go to bed. I’ll take care of it” Loveanddeepspace wouldn’t scorch the earth for the love of his life—or do one better and stand by her side while she scorches the earth herself; here’s the protective/supportive mans anthem you ordered babes.

It Will Come Back:

“I know who I am when I'm alone—I'm something else when I see you. You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need.” [azlyrics]

This song has repeated imagery that warns of the dangers of taking care of a feral animal, and then compares the feral animal to the singer as a lover. Like fuck off, that’s sexy and haunted. And we know that not only does Sylus love animals more than people, but he’s pretty animalistic himself if we are to believe that maybe he’s secretly a demon or something.

Arsonist’s Lullaby:

“Don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.” [azlyrics]

Remember in Lost Oasis when MC goes on some tangent wondering what Sylus' past was like? Well it was this song. It's about troubled youth and learning to grow in your darkness. Also how cool is that imagery of demons? Hey Sylus, what do you have to say about demons? I'll wait. In the meantime I'm tattooing this shit on my clavicle

BONUS ROUND Through Me:

“Everytime I’d burn through the world, I’d see that the world—it burns through me.”

We got a man and we got some fire allusions so there ya go.

Blood Upon the Snow:

“To all things housed in her silence, Nature offers a violence.”

Blood upon the snow—it's red and white! Red!! And white!!! Also kind of a Sylus x Zayne anthem lbr

Ok I hope you found another song that inspires you to make Sylus art or fanfic with!! And before you ask, yes I've already assigned Hozier songs to every other love interest in the game. Ok thanks for reading!!! 🏃‍♀️​💨​

[sebastianravkin]

A FUNERAL FOR NEIL-GAIMAN

My hyper fixated autistic mind keeps running the Neil-Gaiman allegations around and around in my head and I need to find a way to move past the hero in my mind. Even though I believed Neil-Gaiman when he said ‘you never want to meet your heroes’, even though I am old enough to know better, even though I assumed Neil-Gaiman probably had issues and hangups that didn’t come through in his friendly and wise public persona, I have still been hit hard by the extent that I was wrong. I need ritual, closure, a way to move on. So I WILL BE HOLDING A PRIVATE FUNERAL FOR MY HEAD-CANON NEIL-GAIMAN. Maybe others want to hold their own funerals, maybe it will help, and so I put this out there for you to consider.    

To be clear - and many may disagree and I am fine with that - I do not care in theory if Neil slept with younger women, I slept with older men and think of myself as better for it. I do not care that Neil practices BDSM as long as it is safe and consensual. I do not care if Neil had an open marriage if it was agreed upon by both parties. I believe Neil is autistic, and that can make intimate (or really any) communication difficult sometimes, but I do not think that is an excuse. I believe Neil suffers depression and suicidal ideation, but I do not think that gives him a pass for treating others poorly. 

I care that Neil took advantage of women who were at a disadvantage - financially, professionally, mentally, emotionally. I care that he was proposing sex with women after being married to his first wife for only a year and who was probably obliviously at home with their new baby. I care that Neil is no where near the man I thought he was, I hoped he was, I believed he was and that made the world a slightly better place. 

So, I will be holding a funeral for Neil-Gaiman. For the man who spoke of his own heroes - Terry Pratchett and Gene Wolfe - as polite and kind and wise and (I made the mistake of assuming) as role-models for his own behavior. For the man who appeared to be so kind and funny, with no ulterior motives, on Tumblr to so many fans. For the man who has written the books that I have read and reread to get through various crises in my life and so I assumed he had a deeper wisdom than I about life. For the man that I had a serious crush on since the 1990s. For the man who inspired various aspects of my own writing about, and understanding of, humanity. This man is fictionally dead, because this man was a fiction. His art lives on, and I will continue to love the art because I can not simply turn that off. 

What will this funeral be like? Probably some candles. Probably some tears. Probably burning a photo or two, but never never a book. Comfort food, definitely. Sad music. Maybe watch my favorite moments in Good Omens. Or read my favorite short story in Trigger Warnings. Or maybe just work my way through The Sandman again. I will grieve him like I grieve the end of a good book, or the death of a favorite character in a story, or the loss of a favorite place on the landscape.

The fact that there is some other dude out there that looks like Neil-Gaiman, who I think of as just Neil (because every ‘Neil’ I have known was an ass, which should have been a red flag really), is too bad. Maybe Neil is self-destructive, maybe Neil harms others to harm himself, maybe Neil will find help, find a way back from the depths he has thrown himself into. Or maybe Neil is just a dick; always has been, always will be. You can be autistic and self-loathing and depressive and suicidal and still be kind. But you can also be all of those things, and also just be a dick.

R.I.P. Neil-Gaiman.  I am done. I have no more to say on this.

[bluegekk0]

I've been in such an emotional slump lately. I fear that I upset my friends without realizing and now every interaction I feel like they're mad at me. It's like every time we chat I get the impression that they're annoyed with me, I keep thinking they're being sarcastic and trying to tell me to shut up in subtle ways, but I'm scared of asking cause what if I'm overreacting like I usually do? I just hate it so much. I feel like I'm such an exhausting person to be around and a little voice in the back of my mind keeps telling me it would be better for everyone if I distanced myself.

And I'm also fighting really hard against the idea that people in general are getting bored of me. I know engagement is not everything, I know that drawing for myself should be a priority. It makes me happy, and I draw what I love BECAUSE I love it. But it's so hard for me to not hope for validation and feedback when I've been compared to others all childhood. And it stings so much when a drawing I'm super happy with maybe doesn't perform as well as I hoped (at least compares to the number of people who follow me). I don't know if it's not reaching people here or if it's just getting too repetitive for people to care anymore. Or perhaps people see my self-reblogs as desperate and get discourages from interacting for that reason? Maybe they're right for that.

I've also been looking into and educating myself on the experiences of autistic individuals since I suspect I'm on the spectrum, and I do relate to many of them, plus every test I take indicates that I might be autistic. So in theory, self diagnosing would help, right? I could stop worrying that I'm broken somehow or a failure of an adult, and just accept that my brain simply works differently and maybe even be more kind to myself. That sounds good. But then the doubts keep creeping in. I don't remember if I showed any signs in my childhood, I barely remember anything from it. So what if I'm wrong, what if there were none, and I'm just overanalyzing symptoms or even faking them? How can I consider myself part of the community if there is a chance I shouldn't be there at all? What if I'm just lazy, what if I'm an introverted, anxious loser who put themselves in this situation by being incompetent at everything, now trying to find excuses?

I don't know. There's so many exhausting thoughts that have been dragging my mood down for the past few days. And I guess I'm just waiting for it to pass since I'm so scared of actually going out there and getting help.

Well, there goes another oversharing session. I usually feel bad talking about this with my friends cause I don't want to put them under the obligation to respond. And with how terrible I am at responding to their struggles (not that I don't care, I'm just so, so bad at responding to emotions and putting my thoughts into words that don't make me sound robotic) it often feels too one sided. So I guess this is a way for me to scream into the void and give people a choice if they want to ignore it or respond. I could just write it down in a diary or something, but part of me is hoping that maybe this experience resonates with someone and I'd feel less alone. Or maybe I'm simply just desperate for advice or validation that would feed my ego.

[ominous-feychild]

Hi, guys. It's me, Barlowe.

No fun aesthetics, none of that. We're addressing the election today.

I never thought I'd be political on my blog—and, in fact, avoided it except for where I really wanted to get things out to everyone, like Project 2025—but circumstances have forced me to step up.

For those who want to see my actual Writeblr intro, you can find it here. This post is getting pinned to my blog for a while.

So, hi. Barlowe here.

I'm an autistic lesbian with health issues I'm too poor to treat.

I'm currently in a relationship with a Mexican-American woman.

My older sister, although we don't really get along, is trans.

I do not care about my relationship with her. What matters is that she is in legitimate danger. Because of the results of the election.

My girlfriend? She's in danger, too. She had people yell and spit at and shove her during Trump's first term, and she had little to nobody she could turn to for help. Like me, she's chock-full of struggles and disabilities. So much so that I almost want to say she's had it even worse than me in that regard.

But I won't be comparing struggles here; that's not the point.

My little sister is still a teenager. She lives in Florida.

As a 13-year-old, she had people call her a slut for wearing a tank top.

A tank top.

It's Florida. It's hot.

She was 13.

Do you know the amount of rage I felt when I heard that?

I'm a nonviolent af grown-ass adult and I wanted to track down those kids to beat them tf up. I wanted to teach them a lesson to never treat my little sister like that again.

But they aren't the source of the problem, do you know that?

The source of the problem is their parents. The media. The internet, and echo chambers full of disgusting, sexist pigs who reduce women—and girls—to nothing more than sex objects for men.

“Grab 'em by the pussy.”

Did we all forget that?

Did we all forget how disgusting that pathetic excuse for a man is?

Did we ignore all of his crimes, all of the things he's done?

Why? Because Harris is a black woman? Because she's mixed? Because she's flawed? Because she didn't deserve to win?

Listen to me.

That's not good enough.

Maybe she didn't deserve to win. But do you know what?

Nor did Trump.

Trump deserves to be IN JAIL.

He's racist, he's xenophobic, he's sexist, a rapist, a homophobe, a convicted felon, and so, so much more.

And yet here we are.

How did millions of people vote a man like that into office?

I would've gone running for the hills at just ONE of those things?

... but that's not the point.

We're here now, except... things aren't quite as clear-cut as we've been led to believe.

There's an interesting saying that goes something like:

“People most often expect from others what they know of themselves.”

And what did Trump most love screaming at the hills?

That the votes of 2020 were rigged.

And he said to “find votes”.

Well, it looks like he found them.

Or, at the very least, he's gotten rid of Democratic ones.

There were bomb threats called in on democratic-leaning polling locations, machines “didn't recognize” ballots, democratic ballots were rejected for inane reasons, and ballots were burned.

Do you think a man so obsessed with so-called “rigging” wouldn't engage in it himself? Whether he truly believed it or not—which, it's been proven that he didn't, and only claimed so to rile up his cultish followers, causing January 6th—who's to say he wouldn't do it himself to “even out the playing field” so to speak? Who's to say a man like him wouldn't claim election fraud 4 years in advance just to pull the wool over all of our collective eyes later?

I'm not saying that he hasn't won.

But I am saying it's not goddamn over.

There's petitions you can sign demanding for recounts [EDIT: THEY DELETED THE LAST ONE!!!! THIS IS A REPLACEMENT!!!]. You can contact Harris to beg her to not take this lying down. You can—and SHOULD—contact the White House directly.

Listen to me.

Check out Project 2025.

My sweet, lovely girlfriend has been shoved and verbally abused—harassed into literal agoraphobia that she's already slipping back into just because of the election's results—by people who ate up the hateful rhetoric of the Right.

She lives in a Blue State.

Even while my trans sister was male-presenting, she was treated differently—coldly—before she cut her hair short again. Suddenly, people would smile at her on the streets again.

She's since started transitioning, and what about now?

My little sister was physically bullied while she lived in Texas.

They, too, are lucky I was never around for that.

Now, in Florida, I doubt she fares much better.

My friend, who's a teacher in Texas, has been forced to publish under a pseudonym and try their complete and utter best to hide their writing so they're not fired for her job. Why?

Because the MC's nonbinary.

My friend is terrified for their son, growing up in a world like this. They're terrified to have another kid—which they want—because 'what if it's a daughter?' They don't want to bring a girl into a world like this.

And they don't want to risk a pregnancy that can end their life.

People all across the states are being forced to give birth to the children of their rapists... or die because of complications in the womb.

Babies are being forced to die slowly in the womb rather than humanely, through “abortion”, after it's clear they're dying, but “still have a heartbeat.”

Queer folk, PoC, and immigrants have been targeted and live in fear for their lives. They deal with VERY real violence and harassment, even if you don't see it yourself.

This is all the lasting effects of Trump's first term as president.

He and his followers spread a hateful rhetoric strongly aligning with Hitler's before the man took over. They fearmonger and sell out minorities as the reason everything's wrong in this country.

They make minorities a scapegoat, and make them into targets.

Regardless of the actual results of the election, these so-called “victories” for the Right only embolden the bigots to act more and more egregiously.

It doesn't matter if you're “one of the good ones”. It doesn't matter if “most Republicans aren't like that”. It doesn't matter what you think.

What matters is reality.

And reality is: a Trump victory means victory for the extremists.

They ran with it the first time.

What do you think they're going to do with it this time?

This all isn't to sound doomeristic, though—I think we still have a chance. I think Trump's rigged this thing for a reason. I think we need to push for this stuff to be exposed.

But it's going to take everything we have, guys.

Sure, maybe Harris isn't perfect. She's questionable af in a LOT of places, and I personally hate her stances on Palestine. I'm sure most of all of us do. But, do you really think Trump will be any kinder?

Do you really care to doom everyone else off of the miniscule chance that he'll decide to help them?

Listen: Harris isn't trying to turn the States into the next fascist dictatorship. Trump is. Harris isn't showing EVERY single “preparing for a genocide” red flag. Trump. IS.

Petition for recounts. Tell Harris not to give up.

And contact the White House telling them this is not acceptable.

Complain about the bomb threats. Complain about the lost ballots. Complain about the tampered-with ballots. Complain about the burned ballots, complain about the rejected ballots, and don't stop fighting tooth-and-nail like Trump kicked and screamed after the 2020 election.

Don't give up. It's not too late.

And, to my followers?

Let me make this abundantly clear.

If any of you voted for Trump? If any of you wanted him to win, or for Harris to lose?

Then get the fuck off my blog.

I don't give a shit what kind of relationship we've had in the past, or if you liked my writing, or any of that.

A loss for Harris is a win for Trump—it's that simple.

You aren't morally superior for choosing not to vote for Harris no matter WHAT reason you had for it. You aren't morally superior for finding her dubious, for hating her views on Palestine, or for refraining from choosing either of the two evils.

You're a coward.

An enabler, comforting yourself by telling yourself “at least you didn't have a hand in {whatever turned you against her}”.

Sure, you didn't kill the sheep.

But you left the gates open for the wolves.

And that makes you responsible for their deaths.

You knew the risks of leaving the gate open. But you did it anyway.

And, to any of you who voted for Trump?

I want you to know I HATE you.

No matter what, no matter who, no matter WHY.

I consider you all equally responsible for anything and everything that happens as a result of his presidency if it comes to be.

It isn't “just politics”.

It isn't something you can just wipe your hands clean of.

Maybe you don't have to face the consequences for the things that come from this, but I, the people I love, and countless others do.

It's not “just politics”.

It's our fucking lives.

And I hope, one of these days, you learn to regret it as much as the rest of us.

So, to those of you who left the gate open?

Do yourself a favor.

Get the fuck off my blog before I find out you did.

[whitebookposts]

*skitters towards your ask box autistically* do you have any teth headcanons :3

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED ITS BEEN A FEW WEEKS AND I STILL HAVEN'T ANSWERED THIS. I AM SO SORRY I LIVE IN SHAME EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Anyway, Teth! Our deeply beloved forest cryptid. I have to be honest, I don't have as many headcanons about her as I do about some of my other fave elders, which is a thing I should work to change because Teth is awesome. But here are some I do have for now:

CAAAAT I think my good buddy @krillking has already spoken about Teth having cat traits in his animal elder post, but yeah. While in my headcanons, the animal traits are less defined, Teth still very much has cat behavior, like her irises widening or narrowing like a cat's, and she likes to sleep in the sun (which is trouble because. Forest is 90 percent clouds and rain. Thankfully she has the yard behind her temple and the sunny forest segment, though due to the whole thing happening in the kingdom, she could visit those comfort places less and less :<) and most importantly - purring. Which she is a bit shy about, so she rarely does it. If you get to catch her purr, it means that she trusts you enough to do it next to you, though she will still be embarrassed if you mention it out loud. (Also do not leave her anywhere near fancy furniture she will try to rip it with her claws. Yes, lamed learned it the hard way.)

TRANSGENDAAAAAAAAA Idk how to explain it but Teth is just so transfem coded. Goes by both she\her and they\them. It just makes so much sense that I don't even need any proof to know that, she has told me this herself. Gotta give @dogedepan for this one though since I stole this idea from her (like many others. Can't help it Chi your headcanons are awesome)

BEEFCAKE Let's be real, TGC is a bunch of cowards for making her slim. How can you look at this woman, who is a blacksmith, and can catch a giant flying hammer with one arm like it's no big deal, and not think that they have some impressive muscle? If you draw Teth buff I am forever in your debt. PLEASE I WANT TO SEE MORE BUFF TETH ART PLEA-

BESTIE Teth and Ayin are literally fated besties, be they platonic or romantic. Even in early concept art, Ayin was described as "Teth's friend" and held the key to her realm, just showing the level of trust between them. Their realms also work with each other really well, with Ayin being the main supply for Teth's factories which is what allowed her realm to grow. I like to think of them being childhood best friends, and that they have been by each other's side through the good and the bad. Remember that headcanon about Teth enjoying sleeping in sunny places? Prairie is perfect for that, and if she decides to take a nap while visiting it is no rarity for her to choose Ayin as a bed for that (soft). I don't really see em as romantic because I already ship Teth with someone else, but as an aromantic person, it's important for me to show intimacy like that even between friendships. Ayin is always there to lend an ear to Teth, being there for her through her worst, and Teth is Ayin's "EXCUSE ME THEY ASKED FOR NO PICKLES". Although, if we go to the sadder territory, their friendship did suffer a falling out during the turbulent era of the kingdom, with Teth closing off from everyone, including Ayin, too caught in her work and darkstone production to meet the ever-growing demands, and that led to Ayin also drowning in work to keep up the light supply. That is not to mention the different world views about light creatures and how worthy they are of preservation.

CRYBABY I just like to think that despite appearing cold and serious, Teth is a very gentle soul underneath the hard facade she forced herself to create due to her position. But if you get to know her you will find a very soft, shy, and caring heart that makes it easy for her eyes to water, be it a happy or sad occasion, even if she is trying to hide it. She is also a pretty big introvert and starts getting nervous during events with big crowds, esp if they have to do a speech as an elder or something. This gentleness and softness hidden behind a cold surface is one of the things that attracted Priestess to her, which leads me to the next point:

LESBIANNNNNN You may know this already but I'm a big PriesTeth truther, which is the ship between Priestess (the original elder of the Valley from concept art, never made it to the final game but there is a pretty popular fanon that she is the mother of the twins) and Teth. Again, I was enlightened about this ship thanks to @dogedepan she is literally the CEO of this ship god bless. I know it's a bit silly to ship her with an elder who never even made it to canon, but I fell in love with the dynamic of the "serious and cold at first glance but soft and gentle on the inside x extroverted, energetic and mischievous but deeply caring and kind" that exists between them. Priestess was Teth's firework, the bright and colorful in the grey and cold of her life. Never had the elder of the Forest loved someone like she did this bright, giggly, and open girl who managed to always make Teth smile. And it hurt all the more when Priestess was lost. After the death of her partner, Teth closed off completely, lost in her work, just to not feel the pain because the grief was overwhelming. She couldn't make herself go to her backyard anymore, because it was the connection between Valley and her forest and where the two met most of the time, being there was just too painful. Some ancestors say that the rain became much more frequent after this loss.

Milf As I ship priesteth, I also headcanon that Teth is the other parent of Sah and Mekh. Unfortunately, their relationship is very rocky. Priestess died when the two were very young, and due to Teth being too lost in her grief, she simply couldn't care for them, causing the two to be raised by other elders (mainly Tsadi, who is their uncle) and kicked around from temple to temple until they were old enough to live on their own. This caused feelings of betrayal and neglect in the two, and it came to the point that they rarely acknowledged Teth as their other parent anymore. And she feels too guilty before them to try and get them back because she believes she deserves this for her mistakes. But perhaps not everything is lost, and some of this relationship can be salvaged if she finally gets brave enough to reach out.

WORSTIE She and Tsadi have a beef. That's it that's the headcanon. It's not anything serious, it's literally a "cat and dog" type of beef, the two can't even tell when it started, it's just that both will use any opportunity to roast each other. Why do I have this headcanon? Because it's funny.

INSANE SITUATIONSHIP Let's just say that the situationship between Teth and Nesting guide still left the latter one staring at her pictures every day for hours.

Hobbies Other than being a blacksmith, Teth enjoys all types of crafts, like sculpting from clay or woodworking. Girlie doesn't need any IKEA, she can make all the furniture herself (I mean, the Nesting guide had to learn this from someone)

Anddddd.... That's all for now! There's probably more headcanons but I can't remember them all rn. I hope these were written good enough and sorry for any grammar mistakes! AND SORRY FOR MAKING YOU WAIT SO LONG I PROMISE I DIDN'T IGNORE YOU DJHGDJGDJ Teth is best forest mama, and I really should put more thought into her, thank you for sending me this ask so i can brainstorm about this gal.

[jinx-blackout-84]

Been trying to put a finger on why the Dream situation pisses me off and I think I figured it out.

I spent nights staring at my ceiling listening to change my clothes and dreaming about a future that I'm scared I'll never get to have. I watched every single one of his videos, read the fanfiction, sang the songs, knew the memes and jokes, couldn't look at a kettle or fork or the goddamn color green without thinking about him. And yeah, maybe it was weird, but I was TWELVE and he was the first person I had ever seen in media that was like me. That couldn't sit still, that talked weird, that just didn't quite fit in. I had a community when I was watching tiktoks about him and reading countless Tumblr posts about the dsmp lore.

It was covid and I was a kid and I was lonely and I needed so badly to have a place where I didn't have to watch the walls in my room seemed to get closer every moment.

I started having panic attacks when I went out in public, the people I was friends with started to realize I wasn't normal, that full body twitches and flappy hands weren't the typical reaction to a good song or too-bright lights. I was so lonely.

And then I found Dream's videos. And they helped me have a place where I wasn't alone in my room, feeling like a crazy person for my tics and my gender.

I cared so fucking much about this guy, trusted him with that naive trust that kids have that people are telling the truth, and then he turned out to be taking advantage of that in his fans.

It really fucking sucked to find out that my idol wasn't a good person.

And I had him on a pedestal, I thought he was perfect, I would have taken a bullet for him, alright? I cared so much because he was the only person I had ever seen who was like me.

It wasn't normal. It wasn't just me being a normal fan. I was a stan, was a parasocial fan, whatever you want to call it.

Burt he didn't do anything to stop thousands of kids just like me from being parasocial, in fact he encouraged it.

It just bothers me to think that the entire time he was telling us he cared, 12 year old me was just another viewer. Not because I was just another viewer, but because he lied to me and told me I wasn't. I am fine with just being a fan, but being told that I'm important and significant by someone who has no way of caring about me really sucked. It sucked because it really felt like he cared, but I was always just another view, another like, another subscriber, commenter, buyer. Just another consumer.

I was emotionally dependent on him and he did nothing to discourage that behavior from thousands of fans and it's disgusting because now he's taking advantage of those same fans, using them for money, flirting with MINORS that have been conditioned to care about him.

And now a huge portion of my childhood, a huge portion of the happiness I got from being part of his community, feels so gross and tainted and I will never get to have that again. I will never get to have back those days where I could watch his videos and listen to his songs.

And I fucking loved the songs.

I loved the music, music has always been a huge deal for me, and I loved it.

Now every time I hear those stupid songs I'm taken back to when I was twelve, picturing high school and thinking about my friends and all of the things twelve year olds care about. And I miss it, and I miss the stupid songs, because I can't hear them the same anymore and they should be special to me. They should be honey-dipped nostalgia and now they are gross and unsettling.

It fucking sucks to see him parade around and talk about how he deserve sympathy because he is autistic, however true that may be, because I am autistic, and it's not fun. It's not just being a little too blunt or developing a little slower. Those may be symptoms, but that's not what autism is. It's sobbing in the middle of the lunch hall as a year 8 because you have the wrong number or apple slices in your lunch. Autism isn't some excuse for behaving like a manchild, is is something that has fucked up so much for my life. And he uses it for sympathy points.

It sucks because I related so much to him and now that I know who he really is, I am left to wonder if I will be like him one day.

It took a big part of my childhood that I should be able to look back on with fondness and sort of ruined the memories.

It sucks because part of me will always care so goddamn much even if he's fucking terrible. Even if I would avoid him if I saw him in public. Even if i have him blocked on all social media. Even if i threw away every fanart i drew of him and the dream hoodie i bought with my own money. Part of me wishes he would redeem himself so I could love his songs again. Even if I really wish he would just lose his platform right now and never fucking speak again, I miss my childhood so damn much.

Kinda fucked me up to have something I cared so much about sort of destroyed in front of me just because a man that I thought could do no wrong was a shitty person.

Anyways, I hope he burns.

[compassionatereminders]

Dear Kat, I've been following you for some time and wanted to ask for your perspective on a subject that's been on my mind lately: euthanasia. (If you'd rather not answer this, you may delete it.)

I recently learned from the news that a woman from the Netherlands, Zoraya ter Beek, plans to die next month because she could no longer bear living with her mental pain. She was reported to be depressed, autistic, with borderline personality disorder. And as I dug deeper into it, I found even more stories of women like her seeking and obtaining assisted suicide. Over and over again, the testimony from the women and their families indicated that it was better if they died.

Needless to say, this was highly distressing to find out, as someone who is also autistic and has dealt with anxiety and depression off and on since I was 13. I've been bullied for the former even before I got my diagnosis and was fired twice in a row because of it. Now I'm seeking a career change and I'm running into the same fears. What if my current employer decides I'm not good enough no matter how hard I work, all because of this thing I can't change? Is this rejection going to follow me for the rest of my life, no matter where I go?

If I recall correctly, you're from the Netherlands, and you strongly believe in supporting bodily autonomy. Should the right to this autonomy include self harm, even suicide?

No, I am not in any current danger in that regard. I want very much to live and educate. My issue is that so many people like me are choosing to end their lives, and the people around them seem to be encouraging it.

I'm not from the Netherlands and euthanasia isn't legal where I live. That being said, I am highly critical of the countries which are implementing euthanasia programs for various disabled individuals while simultaneously cutting down on resources and programs which would allow said disabled people to live full lives while being disabled. I do not think the solution to disabled people suffering immensely in this society is euthanasia, and especially in places where there aren't adequate opportunities for disabled people to actually live full lives, I am actually very critical of offering euthanasia as a solution. Not because I want people who don't want to be here to be forced to suffer, but because it seems like making euthanasia avaliable frees governments and health care systems from making sure other options are actually accessible and adequate. So while ideologically I am in favor of people's right to bodily autonomy, even when used for self harm, I think legalizing and effectualizing euthanasia in this kind of society is very likely to be a slippery slope and an excuse not to invest in disabled people beyond allowing us the freedom to die.

[omniwhore]

Ways to trick yourself to Go Outside

@thelostones-world asked about some ways to battle the AuDHD urge to stay in cave tm nd get the delicious outdoor stimulation

I decided to do a full blown post in hopes that it might help others, so here’s a few suggestions for

when you don’t wanna go out but know it would make you feel better

- ✨splish splosh water on face✨

In effort to feel less dissociated nd foggy and more in touch with your body and needs, I recommend something that helps me come back into my body - go to the bathroom and splash your face with cold/room temperature water.

Additionally you can put on a skin cream or moisturizer to further ground yourself nd reconnect with feeling physically present in your body.

This should help you feel more ready to spring into action!

- 🌤️open window sniff the air🌤️

One way to trick myself into being excited abt leaving the apartment nd going outside is to open a window and just,,, stare outside, feel the sunshine or the wind on your skin, smell the fresh air, listen to the hum nd sounds that are suddenly that much closer....

It helps me remember the good feeling of being outside and feeling so happy and stimulated and grounded. Then I just remind myself that more of this is only a couple steps away!

- 👚prepare an outfit in advance👚

Another way to trick yourself into being more amenable to leaving the house is to take time the day prior to prepare the outfit you’ll wear.

Aim for whatever you’d like to prioritize - comfort/safety, your favorite style that you want to show off, something you've been waiting for an excuse to wear, or something that reminds you of the location you want to visit.

(ie. goblincore outfit for a walk in the park, cottagecore outfit for a farmer's market, academia outfit for a library visit or a café study/art/reading session etc.)

Having an outfit already put together that you can just slip into gives your brain less opportunities to chicken out - and can help you get hyped up for whatever you're about to go do!

- 🌸gamify your outings🌸

Give yourself a mission (instead of writing down "go for a walk" in your planner, write "go on foot to {location} and back" or "walk outside for {n} minutes" or "collect 5 fallen leaves").

Boom! Now your brain won't get overwhelmed by ohmygod there’s so many things I could be doing what about we just abandon it altogether???

You have a mission to focus on. And when you're done, it's up to you whether you wanna keep going or whether you wanna head back home. For me, even a 10 or 15 min walk can make a big difference if I haven't been out for days.

- 📒plan things ahead of time📒

I always found meticulous planning vry comforting for my autistic side. It makes it significantly easier to psych myself up for something involving leaving the house if I let myself know that it's happening at least three days in advance.

Think about sitting down with a planner or a plain notebook, or your phone calendar (so handy! can include pings, map routes, and any additional info u might need to complete the mission!) and brainstorming some activities you'd like to do outdoors!

- 💚make plans with others💚

Hanging out with your friends in person if you can is a great way to make yourself show up, and is generally super good for your brain!

Idk about you, but if I told a friend I’m gonna be there at 5, I am gonna be there at god damned 5!!!

- 🎟️purchase tickets for events🎟️

Check facebook, reddit or whatever neighborhood (online) space you can come by for free or affordable events in your area!

Whether the goal is to be around people nd feel less anxious/alienated, or to just feed your brain some delicious stimulation at the museum or a pop up market, purchasing a ticket for an event can hold you more accountable to show up!

(Again recommend sitting down and planning at least 3 days ahead as to not have a meltdown abt the stress of figuring out the logistics)

[epithet-beloved]

hihi um. i love the platonic sylvie imagines here,, could i request autistic sylvie hcs and/or sylvie with a reader his age whos special interest is also psychology…….

AUTISTIC SYLVIE THOUGHTS!

synopsis… Autistic traits Sylvie exhibits, and how he bonded with someone with a similar special interest!

ft. Sylvester “Sylvie” Ashling, Molly Blyndeff (mentioned)

tags… fluff, autism headcanon, i don't know anything about psychology save for basics oops

word count… 728

a/n… uhmmmm hiiii do you guys remember us… being an adult is difficult guys why do we do it. anyway. autism. i am not OFFICIALLY diagnosed myself (to which my friend immediately went "you were stimming so hard at the movie today bffr"), but i suspect i am and i also relate to sylvie so a good bit of this is projection ✧ 🦝

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Lovingly, have you seen this kid?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It goes without saying that no one in Epithet Erased is neurotypical but we’re not here to discuss that today.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvie was diagnosed fairly early in life, some amount of time before he jumped a few grades.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He doesn’t really like acknowledging his diagnosis.  Unfortunately, upon getting diagnosed, the most exposure he had to autism was his uncle, and characters that fit the "genius" stereotype on TV.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 So, of course, Sylvie absorbed the pretentiousness from these sources trying to learn about himself.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Like, is it not just canon that he uses the “neurodivergent and a minor” excuse to everything online?

“Huh–?”  Molly blinks at Sylvie’s phone screen, opened on social media, but the way he chose to phrase the reply…  “Sylvie, I-I don’t think you should say that sort of thing!” “I’m literally neurodivergent and a minor.  This ‘adult’ is the one arguing with ME!”  Sylvie defends himself with a huff, missing the way Molly gives him a look that’s a mix between disappointment and disbelief. Isn’t Sylvie always the one saying he isn’t a kid?

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvie didn’t really have a lot of friends as a child, considering how he tends to act around others.  Pretentious and defensive – it’s hard to get through to the Sylvie that’s more vulnerable and actually nice.  He’s mostly in environments of predominantly neurotypical people, and he finds himself in conflict of whether he should mask or not.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He finds his stims embarrassing for example.  His most common ones are fiddling with and pushing up his glasses, pacing, talking to himself, and messing with his hair.  He also flaps his hands when excited but tries to stop himself from doing so, calling it ‘childish.’

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 His biggest stim of all?  Playing with his yo-yo.  It’s also a comfort item.  When commuting places or even just needing to do something with his hands, he’ll find himself using his yo-yo.  He tries to say he wouldn’t die without it, but he’s definitely more tense if he can’t use it.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 His special interests include psychology (duh) and epithets.  Things he can study.  However, he has a hyperfixation on card games that comes and goes when it feels like it.  Sylvie can be really distracted by games like Horizontal Pilot Command, so much that he can procrastinate on work, making him feel bad about it afterwards.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Meltdowns are “shamefully” common for Sylvie, and he needs a lot of time to ground himself.  He usually keeps to his room and uses his sheep to rest on or surround himself with.  The fluff is therapy sometimes.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 So socially, Sylvie struggles, it’s true.  He knows it, but a little worm of denial in his head tries to say it’s because he’s superior to these people, or something like that.  So, meeting someone who's similar to him means the world.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvie with low empathy, and a friend who has high empathy?  Dynamic duo.  Sylvie can wonder if he’s just a jerk due to his low empathy, and he can seek reassurance for it.  A friend can help him feel less like a terrible person.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 His favourite joke is when someone asks him for something, he goes “no,” while doing exactly as asked.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvester meeting someone with a psychology special interest?  He’s in literal heaven.  Two little nerds keep talking about things that make even full grown adults feel dizzy listening to.

“Ah, like Pavlov,” you say with a nod when Sylvie finishes his study help suggestion.  The chocolate in hand is an incentive to finish the page you’re scouring through. Sylvie perks up.  “Well, yeah!  Behaviourism is really important in Pavlov’s theory.  The more a behaviour is repeated, the more it affects the mind.” “Mhm!  Although I do like B. F. Skinner’s suggestion too,” comes your reply, and Sylvie feels his jaw fall slack at the fact you even know his name.  “Stimulus first, then response, then reinforce that response.” “Exactly!”  Sylvie sits up, louder than you ever heard him.  The study session was quickly brushed aside in favour for now bringing up the founders of behaviourism.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Sylvie doesn’t know anyone else his age with his diagnosis, so it really opens his eyes being with you.  And, not to mention, he finally has a friend who really gets him.  Where would he be without you, eh?  Or, so he jokes, but you can tell he’s serious.

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The whole "oh that person did [insert bad thing]? What a psychopath/narcissist!" "That person is so stupid and autistic! (Because they don't perfectly fit in) " thing happening right now is actually so disgusting.

These things are MEDICAL DIAGNOSES. Not insults to be used like stupid or moron. (which, what a shocker, used to be a medical diagnosis, but people used them wrong and turned them into insults!)

Narcissists can become and are often self aware and can better themselves. Not all of them are abusive, self-absorbed terrible peoplelike many people want to portray them as. And even if they are, *this is still a medical diagnosis and a disorder. Not just a few negative personality traits or being slightly more self-absorbed. *

The majority of psychopaths are NOT in fact murderers! Or evil! Just because someone has lowered empathy or whatever doesn't make them any less human. And although this can lead to them hurting other people, as stated earlier, this is a DISORDER, not just someone being awful for shits and giggles! This is not to excuse their actions but to explain it.

And as for autism. There is NO REASON for autism to be an insult or stigmatized at all. I can at least slightly UNDERSTAND, not excuse, the other ones being used like they are, but for autism? Autistic people are not stupid because they don't understand your subtle social cues. They're not overly sensitive because they can't handle loud noises or weird textures. There is nothing wrong with being autistic. There is nothing wrong with being DIFFERENT, whether that be due to autism or not. I could go on and on about this, but let me just move on.

Now, on to something that just baffles me even more: the common use of r*tard by neurotypical, perfectly abled people. ANOTHER example of a diagnosis-turned slur/insult. There is never a good reason to use this word against others. It has been used against (usually neuro-developmentally or intellectually) disabled people for decades, maybe even centuries, to discriminate against them and other them. Even now, when disabled people are more accommodated for (even though it still isn't nearly enough) this word is still used, and they are still othered by those who will never understand the struggles of being disabled, yet still discriminate against them. Although I do have inattentive ADHD, I will still NEVER be able to understand many's struggles with their disabilities, and I know I am incredibly privileged to be able to say that.

These words being used as insults just further others and pushes away these people from society. It is discriminatory and these words should NOT be used as insults and just thrown around all willy-nilly like many people like to nowadays.

(Please correct me in tags or reblog this with a comment if I was incorrect about something. I am open to criticism, and will edit this post accordingly.)