#bruce: NO WAIT THAT’S NOT-

[thekitten-hoarder]

I NEED TO SEE THIS IN A FIC

Yknow how lions will sometimes pretend that their cubs' biting hurts and stuff as a form of encouragement

Imagine that but like

Robin!Dick: *bap*

Bruce: *dramatically throws himself into a shelf*

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

best depiction of the batfam will always be "You grew up to be the person who would have saved you" but it applies to them each respectively and that's why none of them can see eye to eye and also get up their own asses about things and go to such great lengths to defend their personal brand of justice. Because they can never stop trying to save themselves from their own history.

[neuro-psyche]

I think Dick and Jason would have multiple “what the actual fuck are you saying right now” with Tim and Damian when it comes to quality of life/monetary differences. Sure, Dick and Jason got used to Bruce’s “is $100 a good enough tip on a $30 bill?” shit, but hearing Tim talking about a new laptop he bought for $5000 literally is like a punch in the gut.

If they ever went on a cruise (which they totally wouldn’t because cruises are floating death traps), Jason and Dick would be in awe of the fancy amenities, where as Damian would be unsatisfied with the quality, since he grew up with every single amenity known to man. Tim would just feel like it’s all normal since the Drake’s were extravagant and travelled all over the planet.

Jason : My bedroom is bigger than my fucking apartment.

Dick : I could do a full gymnastics routine with the space in my room.

Tim :

Dick :

Tim : My room is normal sized…

Jason : You grew up in a mega mansion. I hardly think you’re the benchmark of a normal room-

Damian : I must agree with Drake. This room is frankly underwhelming.

Dick, staring wildly at him : What do you mean underwhelming- Dames there’s an aquarium wall in your room.

Damian : Yes. Underwhelming.

Jason :

Dick :

Jason : Do you want to-

Dick : Jump off the boat? Yes.

[roppiepop]

Who’s coming to the cookout?

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Bruce, trying to be a responsible adult, naively believing that it would be easier with his least troublesome children: you cannot drive the batmobile, none of you have a license.

Duke: is it because…

Cass out of the blue: is it because I'm Asian?

Duke, holding tears of pride: that's my sister!

Bruce, sweating in rich white privilege: actually... I changed my mind…

[strawbuddy-luv]

(Trans) Tim: -Dramatic Sigh- Well you know Robin's always been a boy so I guess I just have to pretend to be a boy if I'm gonna be Robin now. -Yet another Dramatic Sigh- Oh well! I guess I'll do it for the sake of Gotham and Justice

Batman: You know it's ok if you don't want to, Robin can be a gi-

Tim: OH WELL GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO WEAR BOY CLOTHES AND GET A BOY HAIRCUT AND A BOY NAME AND TELL EVERYONE I'M A BOY AND BE CALLED A BOY-

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Headcanon that Bruce doesn’t give the shovel talk to his kids’ partners because 1) everybody in the caped community knows what Batman’s capable of and how protective he is of his children so shovel talks feel redundant and unnecessary, and 2) the constant prolonged fear of a shovel talk that never comes is almost more effective than an actual shovel talk

[monkesupreme]

Starving and wasting away etc etc

bonus:

Hes tall and huge and HEAVY and he is so overly active that he has to maintain an insanely high caloric intake to make sure his body doesnt collapse from the strain of everything. He will eat virtually anything but he is spoiled from the best takeout Gotham has to offer: 11$ shrimp and broccoli from the chinese food spot that closes at 4am- among other things.

[waveoftheocean]

something something superbat sneaking off at a gala 🫣

[batfamhastwitter]

Part 44! Fun fact, I actually am a natural ginger, but I have been able to gaslight a specific few people into thinking that I'm blonde and just dye it. They've thought that for at least two years at this point. I want to see how long it can go lmao

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

[ashoss]

this idea wont leave my brain please help me !! YIPPEE HADES BATKIDS !!!

without the bg and text under the cut :))

asdhj probably gonna post like,, two at a time because thats ,, a lot,,,, of drawing ,,,,,,, so heres tim and jason! i think i got the hang of it more with jason lol

ALSO ALSO!!!

thank you to those who helped me with the titles for the batkids!! they were all really good :D (all on insta lol)

timothy: the tenured - thomson_at

[nakathemoth]

Constantine honest to god thought a child had just been struck by lightning and died by his side

[robinlolo]

Battinson with Dick Grayson :D

[shrugsinchinese]

Day 5 of Billy Batson week, this one is dedicated to all the 12 year old Dad Billy AU’s out there, especially when Kon’s the one being adopted

Part 2 here

Also I really want to know what the salary of a justice leaguer would be, is it a 401k? Can it support one person or a family? Or is it just above minimum wage? Do they even get dental?

[duckysprouts]

big brother part 7

[panakina]

The robins’ arrested development is fascinating to me on a meta level.

The first child sidekick of the golden age of comics, never meant to be a man, a child for forty years who fought and demanded the right to grow up.

The second robin is slain in his career’s infancy. An unaging symbol of lost innocence because innocence itself was no longer required. Who burst back out of his grave unwillingly, in a man’s body, dragged into adulthood all at once. A child killed twice over.

The third robin, who was comfortable in his place as a child as a sidekick, evicted because someone else needed that spot, only to be wedged back into the box. Not quite a man, but he can’t go back to being a boy either, stuck in the in between.

And the fifth robin, still a child. Destined to grow into an adult role that will never be vacated, and so cannot grow up.