#bruce wtf man

[batbaffle]

A LOBOTOMY

[im-a-lil-bitch-boi]

if i was a Gotham Villain/Rouge:

Me: Ok so the gasolime is sert in place, LETS WATCH THIS BITCH BURN >:D

Batman and Robin(Dick): *arrives to stop me*

Me: oh fu- . . . why does the child not have ANY pamts on?!?!?!?! WHERES THE ARMOR?!?!?! ARE YOU DEPENDIN ON US TO NOT ATTACK A CHILD?!?!?! IK I WOUPDNT BUT LIKE- THE JOKER WOULD?!?!?! HE HAS BEFORE ACTUALLY, HELL THE JOKER HAS ATTACKED ME BEFORE BC I SAID IM NOT A FAN OF CLOWNS HELLO???

Batman and Robin: *stunned silence*

Me: GO BACK AND GIVE THAT CHILD PANTS AND ARMOR JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST! NOW YA GOT ME SWEARIN ON A DEAD MAN

[prlssprfctn]

The first time, Tim notices someone observing them from afar, it is when they are all settled for a brief dinner together. It is the middle of the week, and Bruce gathered all of them together to... relax. Which is strange but not unwelcome. Everyone is so involved in chattering and bantering that they don't notice a lingering gaze through the window; they don't, but Tim does.

It takes him a few seconds to figure out that it is Jason.

He is not sure if Bruce reached for him to invite, and Jason just declined, or there was no offer to begin with, but Tim knows for sure Jason lurkes behind windows for a few minutes before disappearing in the night.

And the funniest thing? Tim understands him.

He thinks he is not Jason's replacement — never truly was, despite what the other thought — but in a way, they did swap their places. Because in the past, it was Tim, who hid on the rooftops, staring at Bruce and his family, listening to the snippets of their conversations. And now it is Jason.

It is still different, of course. Tim had a choice, and it was his... enthusiastic project, if anything — Jason doesn't really. But if anyone understands the feeling of standing far away from everyone, it is still Tim.

That's why the next time in happens, Tim reaches out.

It is after the particularly easy mission, when Tim spots the red motion on the rooftop. He slips away from Nightwing and Robin, who debate about something with Batman through the comms, and finds himself standing behind Red Hood.

The way Red Hood taps his fingertips on the balustrade makes Tim remember that he is not included in their comms anymore. He wonders how lonely it is, to hear the voices of his brothers, but never being able to grasp the whole conversation they have.

'Hood,' he calls for him.

To Jason's credit, he doesn't scramble in panic, even if it seems that he is surprised by his appearance.

'Red,' he mutters back, instantly defensive. 'What, came to mock me?'

Tim rolls his eyes; he wishes things would be easier with Jason, but they are not, and he can't really blame him for that.

'Had I ever mocked you?' He copies his stance, arms folding in the chest. When Jason tilts his head, almost asking, "Really now?" Tim rolls his eyes again. 'Okay, I did a few times. But it mostly were jokes about your death.'

Jason chuckles.

'Good one, punk. It changes everything.'

'You like jokes about your death,' Tim protests. 'And I know you allow Arsenal to joke about it, so it is not entirely closed topic.'

'I don't remember allowing you to joke about it, though.'

...

This conversation is so fucking stupid. Tim didn't even came here for this, but-

But fine. He still can win.

'So, you only allow it to your friends. Fine. Let's be friends,' Jason chokes on his own exhausted sigh. 'Do you need some friendship questionnaires to fill to be my friend? I can arrange that.'

Jason kindly flips him off under his breath before disappearing in the night, leaving him alone with whining Nightwing and irritated Bruce in his ear.

The next time he stalks down Jason, who in turn is stalking Damian and Bruce, he shoves in his hand twenty three papers filled with bunch of friendship questions — half stripped from internet, half made by Tim that involve the specifics of their jobs.

He doesn't expect anything to come after it, but in two weeks after Jason returns to the city after his mission with Outlaws, Tim finds these papers filled with surprisingly neat, calligraphic answers.

And he gets the printed copy of the same questions, with one page of an additional one, written in the same handwriting, and with a little sticky note atop of it.

Your turn, Timbo.

Tim smirks.

Oh, he will so drag Jason back in the family, somehow.

[justiceiscalling]

wild opinion i know people will hate me for: i strongly dislike alfred pennyworth. i know what you’re thinking, “how could you hate him! alfred does no wrong!!!”

(loud incorrect buzzer) WRONG. omg, alfred can only do wrong in my mind. he is such a fucking enabler and then he wants to play devils advocate. recently, before starting ‘what the future holds’ i reread robin 1993—specifically tim’s birthday arc.

if you don’t know what that is i’ll tell you. on tim’s sixteenth someone delivers a package which is a holographic message from a future-alfred essentially telling him someone in the batfam is, like, evil, and trusting him to figure it out. eventually it’s revealed that the message was a test, part of bruce’s training, and ‘future’ alfred was actually just current alfred. it was a really good read, i believe it was issues #116-120.

point is, alfred WILLING sided with bruce on that shit. alfred was not held at gun point, his life was not under any threat, he was asked to assist and he. did. that. shit.

and after he had the audacity to be apologetic! ‘i’m so sorry master tim’ like no tf ur not???? like u did this, you allowed him to feel like everything was HIS responsibility and like he couldn’t trust anyone. which is just so fucked up on another level. he watched tim isolate himself and beat himself up over trying to solve this and he?? just?? let?? it?? happen???

and some how he can do no wrong?????

when tim first became robin, who gave him the suit? i’m pretty sure it was alfred. yes, tim was a relentless little kid—but that’s just that. he was a fucking kid, no older than thirteen. alfred gave him the suit. sure, it was to save bruce, but why did it have to be him? why couldn’t he call dick or superman or, hell, go out there himself? why’d it have to be the nosy ass neighbor?

also when bruce and dick used to beat the shit out of each other alfred didn’t do anything. he lowkey just let it happen. like how much is bruce paying bro for him to let that slide?

ALSO ALSO i would love someone to correct me on this, PLEASE tell me i’m wrong, but wasn’t alfred the one who put up the good soldier memorial? everyone hates on bruce (who, in a lot of ways, is a bad father) for that memorial being up but it was alfred. and i get he was but jason wasn’t just robin, he was so much more. and most importantly, he was a son. i know things were rocky for him and bruce but, god, that’s his son! like what the genuine fuck, yk?

and maybe this is only in some iterations but alfred literally influenced bruce to train to be a vigilante. he trained him when he was young, after his parents deaths. and yes, he was another one of those relentless kids, but there were things alfred could’ve tried to stop him from doing this.

what i’m trying to say is, im so fucking tired of this ‘saint alfred’ BS. he’s in the wrong! maybe not all of the time but a lot of the time. and i don’t know if that ‘jason loves alfred the most!’ thing is fanon or canon but either way i hate it. if you’re going to make bruce a bad dad, if you’re making jason and bruce’s relationship rocky, then alfred can’t be the exception. he should be held accountable as much as bruce.

like, if jason loved alfred so much and saw him as a grandfather, why isn’t he pissed at alfred for not killing the joker. sure he wanted bruce to do it but after bruce didn’t, why didn’t alfred take it into his own hands? alfred has no problems with killing people who deserve it. he was a soldier for crying out loud!

if jason and alfred are as close as fanon claims then jason should be beefing with alfred as much as he does with bruce for not avenging him.

okay, this turned into a rant about jason and alfred’s annoying fanon relationship but you get my point.

i don’t hate alfred, i hate fanon alfred and i hate this fandom and how they love to hold bruce accountable for wrongs that lowkey could be alfred’s fault too. and i also hate that’s it’s so hard to dislike alfred because people will yell at you for it. in my fics i try to keep him as out of it as i can because god forbid i make him how he is in the comics.

alfred is a flawed character—just like bruce and jason and tim and dick and damian and duke—and that’s okay! it’s better when they’re not so one dimensional, it makes them way more interesting as a character and also allows fanon to create perfect character development over the span of long ass fics that i love to binge.

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[lesbianlanarcher]

i would looove to see these two drawn in the other's art style

[inkbug0]

It’s da freakin bat 😟

[littlefankingdom]

A couple of days ago, I came across this post (that I reblogged I think) about how one of the tragedy of Bruce and Jason's relationship was that Jason doesn’t know/believe Bruce loves him while Bruce thinks Jason knows how much he loves him. And I have since realized it's the same with Dick during his earlier Nightwing years.

Bruce thinks Dick knows how much he loves him, so he doesn't try to prove it, because he thinks it's obvious. He doesn't reach out, because Dick needs space and he must already know how Bruce loves him anyway. However, Dick thinks Bruce doesn't love him, and he is waiting for Bruce to reach out to show that he does, and when he doesn’t, he thinks it means Bruce doesn't love him.

Bruce thinks he has communicated clearly to his kids that he loves them so much, but he actually hasn't. He communicated it in his way, but the message didn't translate to others. This is probably because he is neurodivergent and grew up secluded from others, with Alfred and Leslie who have learned to understand him, so he doesn't realize his way doesn't work with everyone.

[neptunezo]

superbat (clark x bruce) to superbat (tim x kon) to superbat (damian x jon) pipeline is so real

[emo-batboy]

I'm sorry but your taste in Bruce Wayne is horrible. None of those guys in the pictures have what it takes to be a Bruce Wayne. They can be a Robin or something but they're so young. They're also all so ... Well I know Bruce is white but your picks are like obnoxiously white looks wise I'm really sorry I don't know how to describe it but you picked the a Bruce Wayne so bad I had to say it in some way shape or form. Wishing better taste upon you

Do you…do you not know about Matt Reeves’ The Batman?

[shahrwrites]

I’m not reading zdarsky’s run, but WTF IS GOING ON IN THAT MAD HOUSE?????

[batbaffle]

he couldve just said "strange" out loud and nobody wouldve found it suspicious in the slightest. "i never think" is such an insane response for him to give

[undertheredhood]

jason todd randomly trauma dumps on his family without warning while laughing his ass off and they're all left wondering how they're supposed to respond because of what he just revealed was genuinely horrifying.

(btw, this is in reference to this post)

[spidergrotto]

in a happier universe, peter's main concern right now would be trying not to seem like a complete loser in front of the avengers, he throws whatever object is closest at tony when he mentions peters (limited edition) lego sets, tries to watch the news whenever someone is around, and pretends he has no interest in the new star wars when he’s at the tower.

it takes him a few months but he slowly realizes that the avengers might be even worse than he is, he catches bucky wandering around eating dry cereal out of the box and chugging a glass of milk moments after, tony has hyper fixated on gravity falls and somehow dragged both peter and wanda into it, steve and sam have well over a hundred hours on the sims, and movie night has turned into a roblox fashion famous competition ( natasha and bruce keep winning. )

they get less and less intimidating over time and peter feels more and more comfortable around them.

[phantomskeep]

I woke up and chose art today

Design and scene is from the 5th chapter of my DCxDP Fic - basically where Danny becomes a thief to snag various ghostly artifacts. Hoping to have the next chapter out soon :)

Close-up and non-edited pics under the pagebreak VVV

anatomy is gross and I refuse to accept it into any art of mine B)

[jollyhaunt]

need more of bruce in his twunk era circa. 1970s

[junespriince]

Aita?

Boss won't fire me, but is actively trying to kill me more than the speed force is.

Me, the Flash (29yo m) have been not only forced by my boss, Buttman(old as dirt, m) to keep the job my uncle had but to also expect me to not slack in my other jobs outside of this one.

I've lost so much in this unfortunate, and down right inhumane treatment because I'm a speedster and "balance needs to be kept, the justice league needs a speedster, Flash. It's basics universe lore that was given to you as a child." Like, I know jackass, you made me memorize it if I wanted to go on young justice league missions, a school inside of child labor this man was a monster then as he is now.

He won't take the time to learn I'm not like my uncle before me, he treats me like I'm a child because me and Cy, (28, m) are the youngest in the league right now!

I have loss my time dealing with this bullshit, my job before I moved in with my hubby I had to moved to my boss terf because it's cheaper (I wonder why.), my patience for putting up this clearly unhealthy and unjust treatment towards me (dating your boss son is technically a bad business practices, BUT I WASN'T WORKING FOR HIM TO BEGIN WITH, I was dating my old boss, duh, an even horrible practice but I like my men in power what can I say.), and my temper for dealing with a horrible and stubborn man, broadman I know you're reading this, this is why you have a hard time connecting with your kids, if i was your kid I'd runaway too with my handsome best friend.

Anyways, today he had a mission that was stupid. His plans got me almost killed and when I brought it up to him, he had the nerve to say to me "well if you stopped talking on your phone during the debrief, you would have survived it better." First of all, I listen and follow his plan to the T, all my i's were dotted and my t's were crossed, his plan just sucked and I know knew it did because he told auntie Wonder Woman about it and agreed it sucked, and also I WAS TEXTING YOUR SON MY HUBBY THAT I WAS GONNA BE LATE FOR OUR ANNIVERSARY YOU TRIED TO KILL ME ON! So I let him have it. I told him this: "I don't understand this beef we have, it's been years and you were there for our wedding happy to see him happy, so why do you hate me? It's not for any reason I hate you for. You fired your son took HIS Mantle away, fight him over a little thing what wasn't a big deal at the time to him getting angry you replaced him with another kid entirely because you suck at communicating he assumes he failed you somewhere down the line after years of undermining him, you and fans from that comic issue got side kid killed, that started ANOTHER riff because you didn't tell him and when he found out he tried to kill the joker which you stopped and saved the man who murdered your, at the time, youngest child while all you did was mope around and felt sorry for yourself, add another year of shit before now finally fixing your relationship with him and all you got on me is being there for your son and not being the most nicest to you. Grow up."

A few of our teammates told me I was an asshole for saying that to him, Wonder Woman and Green Arrow gave me a pat on the back and some lunch, and when I told this to my husband after finally getting back barely to make up for a crappy anniversary that I probably shouldn't have gotten onto him like that, but I don't see it.

So, reddit, with an unbiased option (I have seen the merch and ao3 tags, I know how much you freaks love this man. Or Superman, which sir, he dated your wife to get back at you years ago the fuck you took up for him for? Get a back bone.) am I the asshole?

Edit: I just think bastardman is homophobic.

Batman's edit: I'm not homophobic, my son could have done better than you is all.

Edit, edit: this is why Selina leaves you at the alter.

Batman's edit edit: this is why your parents beat you.

Edit edit edit: I'd tell you to suck my dick, but I don't want to fuel the freaks of ao3 to write us more, would rather have Kyle kiss me before this.

Batman 4x edit: come to the e meeting room. Now.

Edit 4x: fuck off old man, you can't tell me what to do.

Oracle: children, in my office, now.

Batman: yes ma'am...

Wally: yes ma'am...