#bruce wayne should not be nightwing

[notfeelingthyaster]

jason nightwinging was better than bruce nightwinging. tim would be the obvious choice, he is like smaller penis guy no one would notice, and he has no job since he is clinging to robin. cass would be a good choice. duke would be an okay choice. even steph would be a better choice, actually, even if she is blonde, we put a cowl on her and it's solved. ANYONE. BUT. BRUCE.

[fanaticalthings]

just another night in gotham

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[trashmakerarticle]

Y’all think about those rare times when Batman talks about his sons before they were introduced to the justice league he talks bout his ‘babies’

Batman: ahh yes nightwing, he’s my little boy. Always is full of energy. I love him. He’s just a happy little boy. In fact I have called him here and there he is, my little boy, a bundle of joy he is.

Nightwing: *a fully grown man and almost the size of Batman himself* hey guys :D

JL: that’s not a little boy???

Batman: *pointing to red hood* this is my baby, he’s just a precious baby and I love him so, he is fragile so please don’t make contact. He’s so cute and precious, he’s my precious baby boy.

Redhood: *a 6’2 man, absolutely covered in guns and is the size (if not slightly bigger) then Batman himself, glaring at all of them* don’t talk shit b

Batman: language.

JL: THATS NOT A BABY BOY???

Batman: this is my other son, he is my little genius. He’s so full of innocence and so pure, I love him dearly. Don’t be fooled by that stare, he’s so full of love he can hardly contain it. In fact he is friend shape.

Red robin: *staring down the JL with his Batman glare, already in a fighting stance* I will not hesitate

JL: I do not feel safe

Batman: this is robin, my son. He is very nice, though he might pick at you slightly, he is harmless. He can be prickly be warned but overall he is such a lovely baby and I love him so much

Robin: *gripping his swords, glaring at them ready to fight*

JL: oh my god we’re gonna die

[batfamilycannons]

Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle

Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you

Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no

Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!

Bruce*even more scared*: oh no

[theerurishipper]

-

-

-

"Hey, Bruce. Just needed to pick up some— Damian, what happened to you?"

Damian glares across the room. Dick stares at his black eye, unabashedly confused. Bruce just fights the urge to sigh.

"He got into an altercation with Roy Harper," Bruce reveals finally, and understanding blooms on Dick's face.

"Ah."

"I was defending your honor, Richard!" Damian seethes, slapping away Bruce's hand. "And anyway, this is nothing compared to the tomfoolery that takes place atop the Watchtower. You should see them go at it, as though they were common schoolchildren and not respected superheroes holding the fate of the world in their hands."

"And how is that different from you starting a fight with Roy?"

Damian scoffs, face turning red. "He had it coming."

Dick smiles for a moment, and then sighs. "This whole situation is causing way too many problems, isn't it."

"I don't know," Tim says, a smirk on his face. "All of Young Justice is on your side, Dick. I'd say this whole ordeal has brought us all closer together."

Cass nods, grinning. "And we are more... united than ever."

Bruce is just glad someone is getting something out of this. Because he sure isn't.

-

-

-

-

"Well played, Grayson," muttered Roy, as Lian happily licked the large lollipop in her hand. Next to her was a little piece of paper that simply said 'Gotcha.' And all Roy could do was shake his head, amused.

"Well played."

-

First <- Part 14 <- Part 15 -> Part 16

Masterpost

Bonus:

[brucie-baby]

absolute power #2

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Ngl, I do love me a feral/enraged Dick Grayson <3

Credit to @honeysgalaxy for providing photos of the new panels

[deadsetobsessions]

What Do You Have There?

A knife!

Danny plunked the butter knife in its pedestal of importance. The nice thing about having a billionaire vigilante for a... foster is the amount of money Danny was allowed to drop on his hobbies. For example, his extensive collection of souvenirs.

They're not just any old regular souvenirs. No, no, no. That would be so boring! No, these souvenirs, he obtained from the various muggings, knife fights, and various other situations he's been in ever since he was dropped ungraciously into Gotham.

The butter knife? Damian. Precocious, stabby Damian who he had startled into the stab instinct. A point of pride, really. Danny knew Damian was good at fighting! It was practically, in ghost terms, a super enthusiastic hello! Yes, the butter knife would be kept in the well lit part of the wall. Alfred had told him to stay home today to recuperate. He didn't need it, since the wound would heal in an hour or two, but he'd take staying at home any day.

A couple of hours later, well into the afternoon and right before what Danny knew to be their patrol hours, Danny had a visitor.

"Danny."

"Oh, hey, Damian! What's up?" Danny turned around to see Damian hovering awkwardly near the door.

"I am here to... check upon your wound. It is imperative that it gets proper treatment."

Ancients, Damian was exactly like those alley kids. He just ate a thesaurus instead of the drawling accent the alley kids picked up. Which meant Damian endeared himself to Danny pretty quickly. Like a little ghostling.

"Oh, I'm good. See? No blood is leaking out of the wound." Danny held up spotless bandages.

Danny watched Damian step into his haunt- his room- with a pleased hum. Damian inspected the bandages and stepped back with a sharp nod of approval. His eyes flicked to the wall that Danny was rearranging (again) and did a double take at the butter knife in the middle.

"Is that the butter knife I stabbed you with?"

"Why, yes, it is!" Danny beamed.

"Why on earth would you display that?"

"Because you stabbed me with it?"

"That makes absolutely no sense, you simpleton! When someone stabs you, stab them back!"

"That would be mean!"

Damian spluttered. Danny tugged the kid closer to the wall, cheering inwardly as Damian didn't shove him away. It might be because he was exaggeratedly wincing as he moved his "injured arm" but Danny has learned to take a win where he could find them, especially with ghosts. Not that Damian was a ghost, but he sure acted like one.

"Do you want to see my collection?"

"Your collection?"

"Yeah!" Without giving him time to answer, Danny barreled ahead. "So this is the knife you stabbed me with. Which, by the way, was an awesome show of strength and accuracy."

Damian grimaced. Danny continued blithely, secretly memorizing Damian's reactions to laugh at later.

"And this is the knife those guys stabbed me with that one time Cass found me. And this one is a bullet someone shot at me down by the docks. I think I interrupted some kind of meeting?"

Damian's jaw had a slight tick to it that would have been a baffled frown on anyone else.

"And when was this?"

"Oh, like a week ago."

"What? When did you go to the docks?!"

"At night. I couldn't sleep."

"And you went to the docks?! How did you even get there?!"

"Walked," Danny lied, like a lying liar. He floated, obviously, but none of them knew that. "Anyways, this is a law book! Someone threw it at my head!"

"Hey, guys! What're you doing?"

Danny and Damian turned around.

"Richard? Brown? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Bruce wanted me to come back for the weekend," Dick said. Danny knew it was code for "something's going down and we need back up." Man, he still couldn't believe they didn't know he knew they were crime fighting vigilantes.

"Same!" Stephanie said. Danny was glad to see that her wounds from "cartwheeling in the manor" were healed.

"I see. Danny was showing me his collection of... objects people have used as weapons against him."

"What?!"

"Yeah!" Danny beamed, completely innocent. "Come on! I'll show you!"

With that, Danny continued to ramble. He just knew that the way Dick's and Stephanie's smiles strained would give him a good laugh for weeks to come. "And this is the glass bottle a drunk tried to shank me with in Crime Alley, and this is a knife the Red Hood himself threw at me."

Dick interrupted, face stiff. "Hood threw a knife at you?!"

"Yeah, but that was because my kids broke into his safe house and I was trying to get them to stop looting the place. And he didn't know I was a kid too, so he aimed a gun at my head. He shot at me too, but I couldn't go back to get the bullet, or else it would have joined my collection." Danny grabbed a box and shook it, metal rattling inside.

Dick smiled sweetly, Stephanie and Damian inching away from it.

"Oh, wow, I see!"

----

In his apartment, Jason shuddered. He grabbed his guns.

"Something's wrong. I just know it," he muttered to himself.

----

Danny smiled innocently as he described the horrific, near death events he got his souvenirs from.

"This is my bullet box! Man, Gotham has a lot of gun fights. I got shot so many times!" Danny complained, shaking the box like a rattling toy.

"Did you know Danny snuck out to go to the bay?" Damian snitched immediately, like a snitch.

"The Bay?! Danny! You know that's where people dump bodies, right?!" Stephanie poked him in the arm.

"Yeah, but like... I wouldn't die. And besides! I missed my friends!"

"You mean the minions you made in Crime Alley?" Steph asked. Danny pouted, eyeing the way Dick's gaze roved over his souvenirs and paling the more he realized how often Danny "got hurt."

Damian bumped a shoulder against Dick's arm. Danny returned to the conversation.

"If anything, I'm their minion." He said, remembering the times the Alley kids sent him on food runs.

"Fear Danny, the overlord of street rats."

Danny snorted. And- "Oh! Yeah, there was like a weird owl looking guy? And then they stabbed me with a finger and I kept it because woah, cool talon looking thing, right? And then they threw a bunch of those tiny knives at me? And then they just kind of vanished? Gotham is so weird."

And now, with all of them pale and stressed out of their minds, Danny swung a devastating blow called guilt trip.

"And that's the batarangs!" Three heads swung over to the line of batarangs. "Those vigilantes kept throwing them at me! One of them even hit me in the arm. Those things are sharp, man."

"Uh. Which ones?" Stephanie asked.

"Hm?" Danny hummed obliviously.

"Do you know which vigilantes?"

"Oh, it was like... the purple one. And the sword one? And like the one with the yellow insignia in the middle. And... all of them, I think? Except for signal. That guy's cool."

Stephanie and Damian had matching veiled looks of guilt. Dick shot them a sharp look. Danny decided to deal the last bit of damage to Dick.

"I'm glad you guys are way less stabby than the general Gotham public though, butter knife incident aside. At least I don't have to worry about you guys getting into danger, right? If you guys got hurt like my family did... I don't know..."

Danny smiled-squinted at them, channeling Cujo at his cutest and saddest: when he doesn't get to eat off of Danny's plate. So, pretty sad and pathetic.

"Uh, yeah." Dick said, guilt splayed all over his face. "Alfred said dinner was almost ready."

"Yes," Damian cleared his throat, looking away. "We shall partake in Pennyworth's hard work."

"Ahaha!" Stephanie laughed, nervously. "Welp, let's go bother Tim!"

Falling into step behind them, Danny grinned.

[thesulkycroissant]

Dick's too real for this

[greyangelpain]

she's literally the best choice, i dont care what anyone says ^-^

[littlefankingdom]

Bruce: Jason, if someone is tearing this family apart, it's Dick, not you.

Dick: Is this about my fashion's choices?

Bruce: We're a Goth family! Punk, emo, grunge, if you want, I'm not picky, but DISCO?!

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're the oldest sibling

it's tough being the oldest.

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Bonus:

[dudedidujust]

The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind

Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.

It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.

[weewoow-20706030]

Ever think about the fact that the Wayne's are such a big name and therefore would probably each have their own fanbases.

Obviously most Gothamites hate the rich and powerful, but the Wayne's are an exception. Eat the rich does not apply to them.

Like- people would 100% make edits of them any and all of them.

Dick loves edits of himself and although he has never said anything aloud you know he knows just by how he does things with that extra... Flourish. His fans eat it up every time. They would kill and be killed for him.

Bruce would live in willful ignorance over it all despite Dicks many many attempts to show Bruce his fanbase.

Tim is very popular among teenage girls. Very popular. He has somehow managed to pull many, many, women so it is canon he is popular among teenage girls. They make dumb little edits of him and make fan accs and get into online arguments for him. One of Bernards classmates actually runs one of these accounts. Tim doesn't pay much mind to it, but it does annoy him when they infantalise him (which fan bases have a tendency to do).

Jason rarely makes an appearance. So all edits of him are of the same 3 seconds of him in the background. But people still eat it up every time. They think he is some mysterious bad boy (he is not).

Damian has been infantalised to the moon and back, all the bats bros find this hilarious. Damian does not.

[star--bird]

What I think the favorite candy of each batfam member is:

Alfred: Turkish Delight (makes his own)

Bruce: Good and Plenty (only candy his kids won't steal)

Kate: Swedish Fish (specifically the green, red, orange, and yellow mix)

Dick: Classic M&M's (every time he eats them around his younger siblings he talks about how there used to be a light brown one)

Jason: Hot Tamales (just makes sense)

Tim: Hi-Chews (buys them at Costco in the big bag)

Steph: Sour Patch Kids (responds to Dick by telling him she remembers when there wasn't a blue sour patch kid)

Cass: Jolly Ranchers (the watermelon ones are her favorite, she keeps them in her pocket and eats them while working. Yes it is a choking hazard, no she doesn't care)

Damian: Peach Ring (Jon's favorite candy is watermelon rings and it annoys Damian)

Duke: Life Saver Gummies (the red berry mix)

Feel free to agree or disagree in the tags. I could use some silly discourse in my life but please be nice.

[the-purple-possum]

You know something?

I want to headcanon that Bruce has spent so much time around Alfred that he accidentally uses British insults and terminology.

For instance, he's at a gala, hes having a conversation, and the person says something so infuriating that he calls them a Pillock, and since its America, everyone just stops and looks very confused.

Dick finds this hillarious, until he starts doing it too. He'll accidentally ask someone for a 'rubber' and everyone looks horrorfied.

Tim has learnt from Dick's mistakes, he phases out the English terms, except every now and then he says a word with a very posh English accent. Mostly words he's heard Alfred say a lot, such as 'dinner', and he has to stop and resound that word until it sounds right.

Jason on the other hand, he comes back to Dick slipping all over the place, he finds it hillarious, especially as he tried to fight Nightwing, and out of nowhere he hears the word 'twat'. He can't take it seriously. He doesn't even know where Dick heard it, especially as Alfred never swears.