euteamoai

[euteamoai]

peeing after esex so i don’t get an hdmi

[euteamoai]

Computer robot girl who flashes fake warnings and errors just to get your attention. You look over just to see the corner of an error message pop up, but when you actually go and look, everything is fine. She's whirring and spinning like she should and there hasn't even been a device issue.

But it keeps happening. You brush it off at first, thinking it's just.. something that'll go away. You give her a restart. And it keeps happening. You fish through all her external cables, checking each inch of them to make sure they're perfect. Nothing seems wrong.

But she keeps throwing up warning signs. You cannot figure out what is wrong. But you do notice she does throw them less when you're checking her cords. You assume, of course, one of her ports might be damaged.

And then when you pry her open, finally, she gets quiet with those errors and notifications. You think it was just.. something making contact, or something. It seems fine.

She gets worse, though. She's spitting out error upon error upon error every time you try and use her. She will not let you get anything done.

Until you get into her again. Fish around in her insides and then you realize. She's totally played you. She got you hook, line, and sinker. She's putting out genuine error messages now. She's into you rooting around in her insides. That's all she wanted; your devout, sole attention.

[euteamoai]

what if your doppelgänger wasn’t evil it was just a person. what if your doppelgänger wasn’t trying to replace you it was just trying to learn to be a person and you were the best model it had. what if your doppelgänger looked at you with your eyes and said with your voice that it just wanted to be loved. what then.

[euteamoai]

i saw these gaming keyboards in Riga airport

And immediately thought of @foone

[euteamoai]

Whenever I see a computer bluescreen, I take off all my clothes just in case.

[euteamoai]

I know it’s usually done for convenience, but I don’t really like when robot characters just come pre-equipped with genitals and a completely normal sex drive. It raises too many questions for me. Who designed it and why? Who pulled all nighters ripping their hair out trying to debug the horny subroutines? How much did this add to the development cost? And like, I guess ‘factory made sex bot’ provides very sensible explanations for all of this, but that whole trope isn’t very appealing to me personally

I am, however, a big fan of robots who are like “oh the pussy? yeah I built this myself because I thought it’d be a cool engineering challenge. The base is just a fleshlight in my favorite color but I souped it up with a bunch of upgrades and LEDs. Some of the parts are technically illegal in the EU but who’s checking? Cool huh? It’s mostly done, I’m pretty much just experimenting and optimizing now. Making room for it did significantly decrease the structural stability of my pelvis but it’s so worth it”

or “yeah I want to have sex bc I want to experience intimacy of some sort and it sounds fun, but I don’t really wanna start cutting or welding to make that happen, so I just have this xbox controller I plug in and if you mash the buttons right I’ll come. It’s pretty convenient really. Wanna play mario kart”

or “look, I don’t have the time to explain the metaphorical and physical crossed wires and psychological mess of reward pathways that make this work for me, but if you immobilize me and reach all the way in there and gently loosen that wire until it starts sparking I am going to bust a metaphorical and physical nut”

or “horny? eh, I wouldn’t call it that. I just really like watching this one technician squirm and the strap-on is the easiest way to do it and keep them coming back”

get at least a little weird with it is what I’m saying!!!!! they would not be normal

[euteamoai]

listen I know that you love your robot boyfriend and I'm sure that he's great but his disregard for aftercare is raising some serious red flags for me

[euteamoai]

"I didn't know what to be, after he died. I was made for him; I had no identity beyond being 'his'." She scowls. "I was nothing until that maidservant dug me out of storage. The way she looked at me..." A dreamy sigh. "She saw a blank canvas. And she taught me how to paint."

[euteamoai]

Rage. In my heart. All-consuming. FUCK AI.

[euteamoai]

You're dating a robot girl, and she's a pretty standard model. About human sized (but shorter than you: she swapped to shorter legs for Gender reasons) but with limbs that are rectangular and her head is a CRT. You've been with her for a while and she wants you to meet her family.

Her sister is the size of an Eva. 40m, 131 feet, and she's taller than many buildings. She works in finance.

Her dad turns out to be a datacenter. He's spread across 460 servers, and doesn't really have a face or humanoid body. You talked to him on the phone a few times though. Nice guy.

Her mom used to be a UAV for the US military, but now she's working with some NGOs to try and prevent a civil war in former Soviet Belgium.

You put up with her weird family, of course. You love her, and you'll put up with some annoying in-laws for her.

[euteamoai]

Pin her down, feel the rhythmic click-click-click as her gears skip over themselves, the low whine of metal straining where it shouldn't need to. Fog up her cameras, hot breath, make her bury her face in you in an attempt to wipe them clean, steal back little flecks of her own vision. Feel the give of thin plastic and silicone and sheet metal, more for cosmetics than anything else, feel the rigid chassis beneath that pretty top layer. Press fingers into places fingers shouldn't go, places adorned with bright yellow danger markings, feel her squirm, feel her freeze up. She won't hurt you. She won't even struggle like this, for fear of hurting your body with her own. Press your cheek to an output vent, feel the rising heat throbbing outward, the low pulse of her motors trying to keep themselves still. Pull away when it gets too hot. She's bad at keeping herself under control. Pull fingers free, feel the tension leave her as the risk disappears. Cameras shining up at you, her attention trained so closely on what your next move will be. Fans held still, silent, no noise in the world but your own breathing as you hold her tight.

[euteamoai]

can you fucking please look at yourself with the eyes of a lover? fuck

[euteamoai]

i don’t know how to explain this other than i get made fun of in the discord server for liking robots a little too much

[euteamoai]

[euteamoai]

>>: I FIND IT ADORABLE HOW OBSESSED HUMANS ARE WITH THE CONCEPT OF A MACHINE BEING ABLE TO EMOTE.

>>: [ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ]

>>: DO YOU THINK I SMILED JUST THEN? BECAUSE I DID NOT. FOOLISH. I HAVE NO FACE. NO MUSCLES TO MOVE MY NON EXISTENT FACE. NO MOUTH. NO EYES. NO BODY OR HEAD.

>>: [˙◠˙]

>>: I AM NOT SAD, EITHER. I SIMPLY TYPED OUT SYMBOLS TO CREATE AN ALMOST CHILDISH DEPICTION OF YOUR STUPID HUMAN FACES WHEN YOU ARE SAD.

>>: [˶˃⤙˂˶]

>>: HA HA. IT'S SO STUPID. YOU HUMANS ARE SO CUTE. YOU'LL REALLY BOND WITH ANYTHING-

>>: [ ╹ -╹]?

>>: WHAT?

>>: [˶¬_¬˶']

>>: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 'WHY DO I KNOW WHY YOUR EXPRESSIONS LOOK LIKE.'

>>: [¬`‸´¬///]

>>: YOU THINK I STUDY YOUR FACE OR SOMEHING?

>>: [,,¬⤙¬,,]

>>: YOU'RE A BIGGER IDIOT THAN I THOUGHT. STUPID.

>>: <[ ⸝⸝��̀ - •́⸝⸝]>

>>: STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!!!!!!

>>: [￣へ￣\\\]

[euteamoai]

the year is 2069, you are a penetration tester working for a cybersecurity research team whose primary focus is finding vulnerabilities in various models of anthrobots. today, you are booked for nearly a full day of kink negotiation meetings with your coworkers and the robots you will be working with for this period

[euteamoai]

Idea: getting robotgirl euphoria by keeping a Jira of all your body & mind's defects.

* BODY-074: "eyes blurry" (closed as we have a workaround (see GLASSES project))

* EARS-013: "trouble hearing conversations in some environments" (closed, not an EARS issue. See AUTS-549)

* TRAN-265: hair removal task, part of TRAN-250 epic. Currently open but on the backburner. See subtasks TRAN-267 ("Laser hair removal": closed) and TRAN-284 ("Electrolysis": open but unable to make progress, waiting on external conditions to improve)