#books incorrect quotes

[yeonie]

FOURTH WING (incorrect quotes)

xaden: violet and i slept together.

garrick: and?

xaden: i thought you would be a little more shocked.

garrick: oh, sorry.

garrick, in a shocked voice: and?!

[kmn7]

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[littlefankingdom]

Bruce died(?) again

Jason: Well, it's my turn.

Dick: What are you talking about?

Jason: Everytime Bruce is gone, one of you starts to act just like him, pushing everyone away, acting as only you can be right, and fighting anyone that gets in your way. Dick did it, Tim did it, even Cass kind of did it. So, this time, I will do it.

Tim: Isn't that how you act all the time?

Jason: Whoa, fuck you. You are so banned from historical drama movie nights.

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Not Dick callin out to Jason as Robin to get him to stop beatin the fuck outta the dude 😭

Nightwing 2021 Annual #1 (2021)

[poppitron360]

Annabeth: [bedraggled, half-dead, deranged grin, eye bags, contemplating homocide]

Percy: That's my fucking wife! That, right there, is my wife and I love her so much!!

[somewhereincairparavel]

credits to @aroaceleovaldez for generously revealing the font name i had so much fun w this (the fonts called 'centaur')

[notrobinsomethingworse]

Alternative Titans Tower scene

Jason, wearing his original Robin suit (that’s sized up to ‘fit’ him: Do you remember me?

Tim: Did you seriously think I was gonna be scared seeing you wear panties?

Jason: what?

Tim: Like Jesus Christ I’m 13. I don’t want to see you wearing underwear. I can see the outline of your di-

Jason: wait no-

Tim: Like everything just hanging there. Did you even look in the mirror before coming here?

Jason: No- that’s not the point.

Tim: God dude. I looked up to you and now I have to see this? It’s gonna be in my goddamn brain forever. I’m gonna close my eyes and it’s gonna be you in those fucking short-

Jason: Can we move on?

Tim: I don’t even think I can. It’s just stuck in my brain now. I’m not gonna look at Robin the same way now and I’m goddamn Robin. God. Do I start avoiding my reflection now? Dr. Freeze is gonna be a nightmare. It’s gonna be like one of those mirror mazes but with pictures of your di-

Jason: Are you done?

Tim: God no. They warned you never meet your hero’s but never because you had to see them in some scaly panties. Seriously I can see you asscrack from he-

Jason, cocking riffle: Okay you’re done.

[somecluelessidiot]

Remus: Keep an eye on James today. He's going to say something stupid to Regulus and get punched.

Sirius: Sure, I'd love to see James get punched.

Remus: Try again.

Sirius: I... will stop James from getting punched.

Remus: There you go.

[the-fyre-flie]

First few months of Clark being Superman, and he has almost perfect control over his powers and reactions. Like 90% of the time his grip strength, speed, durability, ect, is easily seen as just slightly above average. He's a tall guy from a small farm town, of course he's gunna be a little buffer than most guys his age. HOWEVER, he has the same instinctual adrenaline rush that mothers often get for their children that lets them lift cars to save their babies.

Clark, hastily trying to hide the grip marks left in the metal frame of a semi truck: oh wow that was almost real bad haha adrenaline does crazy things to the body hahah

Lois, who just watched Clask *lift a semi truck* to save a little girl: wtf kent

Bruce, as Brucie, attempting to flirt with Clark and throw him off his game by dropping his pen: Oops ahah im so clumsy-

Clark, who someone caught the pen milliseconds after it left Bruce's hand: Here ya go, Mr Wayne! :D

Bruce: ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

[shyjusticewarrior]

Duke: Dick looks like the type of guy to wiggle his fingers and say "don't mind if I do" when he sees a box of donuts.

Dick: No actually, this is a Jason thing. He does that.

Dick: He, uh, he would have not wanted me to tell you that.

Steph: Please? Dad?

Bruce: I'm not your dad!

Steph: Well you're everybody else's dad, I thought it might work!

[yeonie]

FOURTH WING (incorrect quotes)

xaden *holding a door for violet*: after you.

violet: no, after you.

xaden: i insist, afte-

mira *pushing them and going in*: after me.

[kmn7]

[cracklinhaze]

everyone's making really really good ones, so enjoy the absolute most low quality cursed textposts i could possibly make.

variety, baby.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

[h4unted-d4rling]

People find Pyramid Head hot and nobody bats an eye. But when I say I find Bill Cipher hot? Society!!! Society calls me weird!!!!!!