#bipolar mixed episode

[remyxavierr]

I'm going through a mixed bipolar episode for the first time since I was diagnosed bipolar in 2016. I have never felt at odds with myself before, I have never felt so uncomfortable in my skin so bad that I want to rip it off. I'm depressed, I have no interest in doing anything yet I can't stop pacing, sitting down, pacing, sitting down, and repeat 1,000 times in a day. I can't sleep because of racing, obsessive thoughts about Gaza and my cat dying and all the bad things that are going to happen to me in my life. Literally can't sleep. I stay up all night, then, if I have the next day off, I put on pink noise, which is essentially just static, and listen to it on blast to try and sleep in the middle of the day. My brain feels like it's on fire and I'm so irritated at myself, I hate myself so much, I want to die. Like what the fuck is this? My brain is betraying me so bad. I don't know how to function or deal with this or handle it in any way. I am just miserable. I'm calling my family doctor tomorrow, but even if I get an appointment soon, he has to send out a referral for a new psychiatrist (because mine doesn't want to be my doctor anymore) which could take WEEKS. I'm going to die in the meantime. I can't take this. It's been like this for four days. I've never admitted myself to a hospital before and I can't really afford it since I already get minimum hours at my minimum wage job. My manager would probably figure out how to cover my shifts because she's understanding and an angel, but still.

[ittakesrain]

[funeral]

Giulio Perugi and Hagop S. Akiskal, "Emerging concepts of mixed states: a longitudinal perspective"

[manicpixiedreamguy]

I wish people would stop taking bipolar II less seriously than bipolar I

I saw a comment on an Instagram meme about mania making people productive that said "that's hypomania. Actual mania isn't a silly little thing" and it seriously pissed me off because hypomania isn't a silly little thing either and people need to realise saying such things is insensitive, disrespectful and harmful. And this might be a hot take but I don't think bipolar I is worse than bipolar II just like I don't think bipolar II is worse than bipolar I and the comparison makes no sense because they're both fucking hell in their own specific way (which can and does vary from person to person).

It's not the first time I see stuff like that and I do think the "memeification" and "tiktokification" of serious mental health issues led people to believe in the false notion that bipolar II is some sort of "fake bipolar" or easy to live and deal with but it's not and I think we're better than that; just because the Internet says that hypomania is cutting your own bangs in the middle of the night or dying your hair pink while being completely functional and productive in your everyday life doesn't make it true. I wish I could give you some examples of what hypomania is actually like to me but surprise surprise I don't fucking remember, all I got is some flashes of rage and sleepless nights and incoherent racing thoughts and disordered speech and substance abuse and shadow people at the corner of my eyes and being detached from reality while still somewhat being aware of it in a way that doesn't really make sense.

What does this race for who has it worse accomplish? People with bipolar II downplaying their own hypomania and ending up in a psych ward?

Stop engaging in nonsensical wars and stupid ways of thinking.

[messymotherfcker]

I’m slowly killing myself and I don’t care

[mariposas8494]

Mixed episodes be like…

[adhdstudybitch]

My bipolar folks who experience mixed episodes, how the fuck do you cope? For months I thought I've just been having a depressive episode, but the reality hit me tonight that I've been experiencing hypomanic symptoms as well, and I now understand why all the shit I usually do for full depressive episodes isn't working.

I recently went up on Caplyta (from 42 to 52.5 mg) and I don't think it's done much. Therapy has been spent talking about the unbridled rage I've been carrying in my throat my entire life. Idk I would love to hear what others have found helpful outside of meds and therapy.

[brainzcoaster]

[actualbird]

so my anxiety this month has been through the Roof (getting so bad it's making me throw up at least once every day) for certain reasons (those reasons being my workload, both in and out of my job) but like, i committed to these things so i Cant Change My Workload, so im like. okay i would like to stop being so anxious im trembling and nauseous all day tho. i havent seen my psychiatrist in more than a year but im debating seeing him again and just going like "HI. REMEMBER ME? IM UNFORTUNATELY INSANE AGAIN. GIVE ME DRUGS TO FIX THIS." or should i like just.....mindfulness(TM) my way through this?......idk man. i need to throw up like right now actually HAHAHAHKSFBLJD

[narcpocalypse]

Mixed episodes crazyyy it be like hyper despair. Ten cups of coffee but u still tired. Frozen soup

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

me: i’m handling my psychosis very well throughout this bipolar crisis that’s great:

the sounds in the walls, water, and radio static;

[robynleefaryna]

It's that time of the year where things get weird for me. So sad and tired - just want to sleep, but can only mange to get 4-5 hours of broken sleep a night... I do nap during the day, but can only mange 45 mins to a hour and a half. I tend to have these ridiculous mixed episodes, and I'm worried I'm slipping i into one.

[narc1ssis1ic]

You ever find yourself bawling your eyes out out of sadness but laughing your head off from happiness at the same time?

[chaosobsidienne]

I'm changing to a whole new person every two hours

[silkense]

bipolar

[messymotherfcker]

I feel so disconnected and different from other people. Like I don’t connect the same way they do. I am strange and out of place in this world