#best experience being high at a concert so far

[theloveinc]

IT IS a problem, though, when anyone else in the band has their little solo moment and you put on your little performance of sauntering over to their side of the stage to sing in perfect sync with them, getting as close as your instruments will physically allow so you can even sway to the chords of the song together...

And even though your relationship with Bakugo isn't exactly a secret, magazines start publishing articles about how much chemistry you have with [Kirishima, Denki, even Jirou+] garnered simply from how sweet you looked pressed up next to one another dancing (evidence of which is usually the cover photo).

Then Bakugo starts fussing about what you do on stage.

Really the most important thing abt drummer!Bakugo is that he’s always placed at the back of the stage (which means he can stare at you singing without anyone noticing)

[spaceaudio]

boston2 anniversary is kind of crazy

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Hey have you broken down Marinette's crush on Adrien and the ways in which it

A) misrepresents how teen girls get crushes on people they actually know and

B) sets Marinette up to seem really weird in a way the show literally cannot address because the universe thinks it's fine?

I know you can't prevent people from misinterpreting your show, but i think at the point where a significant portion of your audience and people with secondhand knowledge think of your main character as a stalker, that's a breakdown of communication on the writers part.

I've mentioned it offhand a few times, but I can go into it in more depth because it is a pretty massive writing flaw for reasons we're about to get into.

Marinette is not written like a teenager with a crush on her friend. She's not even written like a stalker. She's written like a teenager with a celebrity crush or a crush on a fictional character. In fact, if you go read fics from when the show first started airing, then you'll find that a lot of people assumed that Marinette's crush came from before she met Adrien or that it was rooted in a love of his professional work. That she was a fan who suddenly got to meet her idol and didn't know how to handle that.

I completely understand why that read was so popular. It's the only thing that makes sense! I assumed that was the case, too, until we got to Origins and her crush suddenly went from "obvious celebrity crush" to "crush with actual depth that's just been badly written."

While I'm ace, most of my friends are not, so I am very familiar with the experience of teenage girls getting crushes. I'm also deeply familiar with the experience of teenage girls getting crushes on celebrities and fictional characters. I, unfortunately, also know quite a bit about stalking. The three experiences are wildly different. For now, let's focus on the first two.

Celebrity crushes and crushes on fictional characters are experiences rooted in fantasy. You can be as over the top as you want because you know that nothing will come of this. You can go to a concert and scream the cute boy's name or have his posters all over your walls or publicly squeal about him with your friends without caring if people overhear because you don't expect him to ever care or even learn about your behavior. You know that you will never actually date him. He's a dream. A fantasy. A thing that will never be. That's the fun of this kind of crush. There's freedom in it. (This isn't unique to hetero crushes, btw, this was just an example based on my lived experience.)

I have strong memories of my best friend acting like Marinette, but only when it came to fictional men. When she was crushing on guys that she actually knew? The experience was wildly different because it was real. This could actually be a thing. She's not the only woman that I can say that about, either. I had many friends who had a celebrity or fictional crush and none of them ever carried that behavior over to their "real world" crushes. The stakes with the "real world" crushes were far too high for that sort of freedom.

Writing Marinette like someone with a celebrity crush is a terrible call on multiple levels. The most obvious issue is that it makes her look unhinged and creepy. While I don't agree with this take, I'm not surprised that people label her a stalker because celebrity crush behavior feels really creepy when it's applied to a person that you actually know. Whenever stories do the thing where someone meets their celebrity crush and actually gets to know them, there's normally a noticeable shift in their behavior as the character mentally goes, "Oh shit, you're real now." They lose the freedom that came with this being a mere fantasy.

The other issue with this writing choice is that it makes Marinette's crush feel superficial. The show spends hours letting her fantasize and obsess over Adrien, but rarely lets her actually spend time with the poor guy! It's incredibly awkward writing. You could have Adrien be a celebrity that Marinette never met and a lot of the episodes wouldn't change. That's not a great choice if your goal is to write an actual romance. Romances generally let the romantic leads interact.

As creepy and awkward as Marinette's writing can be, I will stand by my statement that she's not a stalker. She's nowhere near that unhinged. She's not stealing Adrien's things or following him home every day or breaking into his private spaces because she knows that they have a "special connection". We're never once made to feel like she's making him uncomfortable or harassed. Those are the kinds of things that stalkers do. They're delusional and divorced from reality. Do any of you really believe that Marinette would keep pursuing Adrien if he told her to back off? Hopefully the answer is "no" and, if so, then she's really not written like a "true" stalker because true stalkers just get dangerous when you say "no." They don't respect things like firm boundaries or restraining orders.

Watching Adrien's public appearances isn't violating his privacy and that's mostly what Marinette does. The rare occasions where she follows him somewhere private mostly revolve around someone else doing something questionable first, making Marinette's actions less "I want to see Adrien" and more "I'm worried for Adrien's safety and I'm doing something questionable because of that". The first is the behavior of a stalker, the second is... well, I'm not going to call it good behavior, but it's certainly not straight up bad behavior because the show isn't treating these moments as wrong so it's less Marinette being wrong and more the writers making really questionable writing choice. I mean, one of her break-ins was literally forced on her and orchestrated by her friend group! (See: Gabriel Agreste)

In fact, most of Marinette's creepiest behaviors fall under the "questionable writing choice" category as they're often just very obvious jokes of questionable quality. For example, I've seen people freak out about her having Adrien's schedule and it's like, guys, you do realize that was literally impossible, right? She claimed it was his schedule for the next three years! Nathalie doesn't even have that! You don't schedule things that far in advance unless it's a major event. It's impossible to take this claim seriously if you think about it for five seconds.

If you wanted to treat this schedule claim seriously and have it match the show's tone, then you'd have to tone Marinette's claim down, too. It would go from having his schedule for the next three years to just being aware of what he does on a weekly basis because they're friends and in the same class and you just sort of learn this stuff if you pay attention. How does Marinette know that Adrien has fencing on Wednesday? Because he has fencing every Wednesday. That's how this stuff tends to work.

I don't blame anyone for disliking the way that Marinette's crush was written. I don't like it either! It leaves a lot to be desired! The show would have been much better if they scrapped using Marinette's crush as the main source of comedy, but then they would have had to let Marinette and Adrien become close and we can't have that because it breaks the formula. The simple truth of the matter is that Marinette is written the way she is as a stalling tactic, which the episode Simpleman straight up admits:

Marinette: What am I doing, honestly? The truth is, I'm scared that Adrien will reject me if I tell him how I feel about him. That's why I over complicate everything, so that moment never comes.

In this scene, Marinette is claiming that this is a her thing, but it's really more of a writing thing. Miraculous is a formula show. Part of the formula is the akuma/sentimonster of the week and part of the formula is Marinette trying and failing to confess her crush. The show makes this pretty obvious, but if you want a more official source that this is what's going on, then here you go:

[The writing director] sold the Miraculous series to broadcasters as a formula show.... [This is why] Marinette tries to confess her love for Adrien in every episode, but is unable to do so.

They made Marinette's failure to confess part of the weekly formula which means that there can never be any romantic progress, thus Marinette being written like a fan obsessed with her idol instead of a teenage girl with very real feelings for her kind sweet friend. The first makes for an easy formula, the second won't work in that model. It requires there to be progress and a planned endgame. I'm not against formula shows, but this is a terrible element to make part of the formula!

The same issue plagues Adrien, too. It's the main reason why Chat Noir can come across as overly pushy. He's not allowed to move on just like Marinette isn't allowed to confess her feelings because they're the endgame couple. But we keep pushing back the endgame by adding seasons and so it's all become a total mess with terrible pacing and awkward, unhealthy relationships dynamics that really aren't suited to the genres or audience that Miraculous is clearly aiming for.

[bobbin-buckley]

That Girl Is Mine

Tara Carpenter x Saxophoneplayer!Fem!Reader

Summary: You play saxophone with a band called “Sweaters In Fall”, you and another girl plus three other guys are in it. You’re girlfriend Tara comes to see your biggest concert at the Radio City Music Hall (NYC), after the concert things do seem to work with you in the band

Warnings: Fluff, Cat-Calling, Little bit of blood, Pervert, sexual mentions, lots of cursing, some punching

Y/F/B: Your Favorite Band

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s the night before you and your bands performance at the Radio Music Hall.

You were very nervous, it was unusual for you to be this nervous. It wasn’t because of the people but it was because your girlfriend was coming to watch with her friends and her older sister Sam.

Not that you were scared of Tara being there, you were excited that the dark brunette and her friends were coming, it was just Sam.

Sam never really liked you, she had her suspicions. You respected that since after what they’ve gone through was tragic. This special night wasn’t just about winning an award to you but it meant to prove yourself worthy for Tara, you wanted Sam to see your talent and maybe she’ll like you. Maybe….

“Yo Y/n! What’s got ya all worked up?” Your bandmate Damien asked, he was a nice guy, he was a tall lengthy black man about in his middle twenties. “You’re not all pumped up like you normally are during rehearsal.”

“Just nervous I guess…” “Nonsense! You’re never nervous!” Kayleen hyped. Kayleen was your best friend, you guys were pretty close she was the reason why you joined the band. Damien and the other two guys were a little eh about another Saxophone player joining, but the raven hair just glared at them and had you join. You were the high voice of the group, the great Alto Sax player.

“Yeah, Y/N/N, you seem so low right now and you’re the loudest person normally.” Pip spoke, Pip was your 3rd favorite of the group. He was pretty quiet the majority of the time but he indeed was a fantastic Trumpet player. ‘Pip the Pipet’ Damien gave him the nickname, Pip hated it but he’s adjusted to it now since it sticks with him.

You all had nicknames, yours was Sexy Sax (boy you hate it but at this point you don’t care, Tara teases you about it), Kayleen’s was Sax Positive, every time you hear that nickname you can’t help but laugh a little. Damien’s is Damn Keyboard (idk) as he played keyboard in the band. Last but not least Dan…

you hated Dan oh boy, if you were to go ghostface he’d be the reason.

Dan was a creep in your opinion. Nobody else agreed though, he was just very…odd. He was an older man, I’d say in his early 40’s, he does have a lot of experience in jazz and band in general but he seemed off…every time after your solo in one of the songs you’d catch him looking at you with heart eyes, you’d catch him doing it to Kayleen as well. Eugh…you hate him

“Yeah baby stop being so low, your supposed have a high pitched voice in the band. If you know what I mean.” Dan said…flirted?

You wanted to throw up after he said that. Fuck he gives you the jeepers creepers.

“I’m fine guys I swear. It’s just my girlfriend is coming to watch tomorrow and her sister..isn’t quite found of me..” you rambled.

“Sorry to hear that champ. But everything will go great! Just…focus on yourself and not the crowed.” Damien explained, you have him a nod.

“Well, it’s getting late guys we should head home for the night,” everybody nodded in agreement with Pip.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a quick walk home, you hadn’t lived far from Damien’s house. Which is where you guys rehearsed most days unless the Blackmore’s band director lets you in.

Moonlight On the River by Mac DeMarco was playing in your ears, your saxophone in case swaying in your left hand as you trotted in the perfect white snow on New York’s streets to your way home.

You swore someone was following you, feeling eyes staring at the back of your head. You stopped in your tracks turning around to see no one.

Maybe it’s an animal or my imagination?

You thought

As paranoid as you used to be it’s been higher ever since you heard about the ghostface attacks. Tara always pushed you away when you met, you weren’t sure why until you discovered she was The younger sister of Sam Carpenter.

Eventually you told her you don’t care about some psycho idiot under a ghost mask with a knife.

It wasn’t long after you confessed that you really liked her and started the first date. It’s been a few months since you guys started dating, you both were happy.

You told Tara you’d always be there for her if she wanted to talk about everything or anything else that’s keeping her down. She appreciates you for that, but also doesn’t want to burden you because she knows you have your own issues.

Opening your apartment door, stepping in and feeling the nice warmth greeting you. You flicked on the lights with your free hand after slipping off your shoes and walked to your bedroom.

You sat down your saxophone in the corner of your room as well as your backpack, coat. Walking over to your bed taking the snow covered sweater and sweatpants you were wearing off. (I’m more masc btw so masculine wear)

Putting on a white-T with a sweatshirt over that has Y/F/B on it and throwing on a black pair of sleep pants. That’s when your phone started buzzing in your bag.

You grabbed your bag again and opened it to grab your phone, seeing that your one and only was calling you.

With a smile you pressed the green button without hesitation and pulled the phone to your ear.

“Hey Baby!”

You blushed at her voice and nickname

“Hey Tar, how was your day?”

“Not bad, just- some arguing with Sam. You know, the usual.”

“Sorry to hear that, what was it about? If you done mind me asking.”

“It’s fine love, it was just about me walking alone to school. She needs to grow up sometimes, I mean I do appreciate her safety, it’s just a pain up my ass all the time.”

You understood Tara’s annoyance, your mom was the same. She’d harp on you about being safe even if your taking out the trash, (though you don’t live with her no more)

Sam was always protective, ever since the first Ghostface incident. Sam has prevented Tara from having outside friends (definitely after Quinn and Ethan).

That’s why Sam dislikes you, she’s scared you’ll be the next ghostface. But Tara wants Sam to understand that she’ll fall in love at some point, and she already has. It’s you

You’re the lucky girl

“Yeah I know hun, hey tell you what. Tomorrow night I’ll prove Sam with my magical music talent that I’m worthy!”

Tara chuckled, “sure baby, you are quiet talented my musical girl. I’m excited for tomorrow, by the way, how was practice?”

“Good, Kayleen and the boys are hyped. I think we’re all ready, I’m just a bit nervous…” you said, biting your nails.

“Why nervous Y/N/N? You’re never nervous.”

“That’s what the band said..haha.” You paused with a fake laugh. “I guess it’s me trying to prove how good I am to Sam, and how important you are to me.”

“Honey, even if Sam didn’t care about tomorrow then screw her, cause you shouldn’t care about what Sam thinks. It’s Sam! But I know Sam will get your trust eventually she just has a hard time opening up,” you sigh, “plus I think she’ll love it. Sam really likes music if you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t know actually, but thanks Tar.”

“No problem baby, I gotta go Sam needs my help with dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow night! Love ya!”

Your heart skipped a beat, “love you too, see ya!”

You smiled widely after Tara hung up. You were going to prove your worthy for Tara to Sam.

Sam doesn’t realize how much you love that little feisty girl

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s currently 7:30

Your show starts in thirty minutes

Sitting on an old chair in the back room as Kayleen does a few more touches with your make-up

You weren’t a big fan of wearing make-up, but Kayleen insisted on you wearing some especially for tonight. It wasn’t crazy make-up, just some highlights and eyeliner, nothing punk looking but more casual.

“Cmon Y/N/N you’re our sexy sax you gotta look sexy,” you rolled your eyes. “Even Pip gets a little bit of a make-over!”

“Uh-what?” Pip quipped.

“…Annnnd done!” Kayleen exclaimed, “it’s your turn Pip!”

Pip groaned but gave in

“A-are we all getting make-up?” Damien asked.

“No, Pip just doesn’t get the option because he’s one of our big soloists! But if you want make-up I’d be happy to-”

“Absolutely not,” both Damien and Dan said. The raven shrugged and went back to work

“So Y/N/N? How are you feeling?” Damien asked, as he sat next to you.

“Better, I talked to my girlfriend last night and told about my nerves but she said I’ll be okay and other things.” “Awe, she must be a real sweet one.” You blushed as his comment, Tara was a sweet one even if she’s a little feisty at times.

“We have about ten minutes left.” Dan looked at his watch.

“Shit!!” Kayleen squealed.

You laughed at her antics when she jumped to grab more blush

“We’ve got time girl.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tara shifted in her seat as she looked around the interior of the Music Hall.

She’s never been inside the music building, she’s only passed in on walks, in a taxi or on the bus.

It was quite beautiful, the lights were pretty, the room was nice and warm and it was just gorgeous in general, it was a very open dome with a lot of people.

Sam didn’t want to spend a lot of money so they chose the middle seats on the balcony. Tara wouldn’t really be able to see you but the tv’s they had were enough to see your gorgeous face.

“God I’m so excited! Thanks again Sam!” Chad smiled bright. Mindy thanked her too.

“Of course,” Sam smiled. “Thanks Sam, seriously, you don’t know how much this means to me and especially Y/N/N.”

The older Carpenter smiled at her little sister.

“Up next we have our Jazz Band “Sweaters In Fall!!!”

When Tara heard your band name she perked up and watched ahead of her as she cheered with the crowed.

You and band walked up stage with your instruments, the keyboard and drums already set for Damien and Dan.

“Let’s meet our lovely band! Up first is Pip the Pippet! Our Trumpeter!” Pip smiled shyly.

“Second we have Sax Positive Kayleen!”

Mindy shook her head, “reminds me of Quinn sadly.” Tara chuckled a bit.

“Third we have Damien that Damn Keyboard!” Everybody laughed and cheered.

“Fourth we have Drummer Dan!”

“He looks like he’s sixty!!” Chad yelled. Tara didn’t like Dan, the stuff you’ve told Tara about him make her sick in the stomach but that feeling faded away once the guy announcing announced your name.

“Last but not Least! Y/N/N the Sexy Sax player!!” (Sorry not sorry)

Tara blushed when you waved a bit to the the crowed. Knowing you were looking for her.

“Let’s get this party started!”

~~~~~~~~~(sorry if it’s cheesy 😭)

You were at the last song of your album. The next song was more of something you wrote yourself. (Not actually 😭 cause that’d be copyright)

Tara cheered with the crowed once the song was finished. You eagerly searched for her in the crowed then spotted her a bit later.

You blew a kiss at her as she did it back.

“Cmon Y/n! We gotta go!” Pip called.

You nodded, taking one last glance in Tara’s direction before following your friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“That’s it! That was it my guys!” Damien screamed in victory.

“Eh it was alright-” “What do you mean it was alright Kay? That was our best yet!!” Pip cut off Kayleen.

You smiled bright once you entered the backroom. This was definitely the best performance you’ve had in awhile, and you were proud of that.

It didn’t matter to you if you won something but- it mattered that you did it. All you cared about was Sam liking you.

The band continued to talk about the performance whilst you put up your saxophone.

“Y/n!” You looked up at her voice.

Tara jumped into your arms with a big smile, Sam and her friends no too far behind.

“Hey babe! How’s you guys get in?” You looked over Tara’s shoulder, making sure no guards were about to run in saying they broke in.

“They let us in, I told them I was with you.”

“Now who’s this pretty lady?” Dan asked, he made your stomach curl and in a disgusted way.

“I’m Tara,” she said a little grossed out herself.

“Hey! Y/n, you can officially meet Sam now!” Tara turned to her older sister, motioning Sam to approach.

Sam looked at you with those ‘I don’t trust you eyes’. Sam scared you a bit, but being up close..Jesus you were more scared.

“Nice to meet you Y/n,” your eyes widened. Sam, Sam Carpenter being nice to you? She held out her hand waiting for you to shake it. “I-uh hi- S-Sam.”

Sam pulled her hand away and chuckled, “you don’t need to be afraid of me. Sorry for scaring you a bit, I’m a bit worried meeting new people. As Tara probably already told you.”

You nodded with a small smile. Tara was ecstatic with your first impressions on each other.

“Yo Y/n! You gonna introduce them?” Damien spoke.

“Oh uh- yeah! This is my girlfriend Tara her sister and friends. Guys this is Damien, Kayleen, Pip and-..Dan.” You pointed to the each of them.

There were some waves and hi’s

“Y/n, you didn’t tell me your girlfriend was hella hot.” Dan walked close.

“Excuse me?” Both you, Tara and Sam said.

“You heard me.”

You looked at Dan with hatred. “Back the fuck up.”

“Woah, no need to get all frisky babe.”

“Don’t fucking call her that!” Tara yelled.

You put a hand out in front of Tara, keeping her back.

“Damn, she’s loud too.”

“Shut the fuck up you perverted mother fucker!” You shoved Dan back, but it wasn’t long before he struck your nose with his fist.

You stumbled back, wincing and clutching your nose as it bled. “Y/n..”

“Oh come on Y/n, your worse than your are at pleasing her.”

That’s when Sam lost it as well. Sam punched Dan, you pushing Sam back to finish the job.

You grabbed him by the shoulders and slamming him against the wall. “I swear to fucking god! If you ever say any of those things ever again I’ll break your skull!!!”

“Hmp, I’d like to see you try.”

Damien and Sam both grabbed your arm before you got the chance to swing another punch at him.

“Let me go!!”

“Dan, get the fuck away! Go! You’re out of this fucking band!!” Damien screamed.

“Whatever, I didn’t want to be here anyways, I just wanted to see some ladies.” Dan chuckled.

You snarled. “Get him away from me.”

Damien and Pip nodded before getting Dan out of the room.

“Y/n-” “Let’s just go home.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How’s it feeling?”

You and Tara were in her bedroom. After tonight’s event, your hand was swollen and bleeding. Sam checked it and no brokenness to it, just some bruises and scratches, plus it’ll sting.

“Like shit.” You huffed, laying back on her bed. Tara already patched you up, it hurt like a bitch too.

“I’m sorry,” “no. I’m sorry, I should’ve just kicked him off the band way before!” You threw your hands up.

“Baby, it’s not your fault. It isn’t your fault he’s some fucked up pervert, but thank you for defending me.” Tara brushed her fingers through your sweaty hair.

“Anytime..” you smile. Tara leaned down to kiss you on the lips, placing her scarred hand on your unharmed cheek.

“I love you.” “Love you too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is fuckin cheesy.

Sorry for not uploading this faster than I planned. Weird shit has happened this past week

I need ideas cause my brain hurts and I can’t think of anything rn

[annab-nana]

Hand an idea for your sleepover.

Eddie goes to some rock/metal concert and finds the reader aka Hawkin High royalty aka captain of the cheer squad at said concert.

this is my favorite request you've sent in by far like i LOVE this concept

warnings: not proofread

❀ masterlist ❀

you didn't know how it lined up so perfectly, but it did. there was normally a week break between football and basketball season and that weekend just so happened to be the weekend that kiss was going to be in indianapolis for their animalize world tour. it was too perfect of an opportunity to pass up.

it definitely took some sneaking around to work out the kinks, but you made it work. your parents thought you were spending the night at chrissy's and to return the favor to chrissy, her parents were under the impression that she was sleeping over at your place—she was really at jason's.

you were losing yourself as heaven's on fire blasted throughout market square arena. your blood felt electric while coursing through your veins and your throat started to sting in the best way from screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs.

it was nice to dance on the weekend in your jeans to music you adored rather than in your cheer skirt for the hawkins high sports team. you loved cheer. it was everything to you, but nothing matched the experience you were soaking in right now.

you were so lost in it all that you almost didn't feel the tap on your shoulder and you definitely weren't expecting to see the face you turned to.

"eddie?" you called loudly in an attempt to be heard over the loud music.

he stepped closer to you so you could hear each other better. "so, my eyes don't deceive me. it is y/n y/l/n, queen of hawkins high."

you playfully rolled your eyes at him. the nickname was never your favorite, but it was what it was. you leaned forward to be closer to his ear. "in the flesh."

you had seen the boy smile a lot. he always did when he was with his friends at school or when he was being theatrical on the cafeteria tables during lunch. but something about the grin he wore now combined with the sheen of sweat on his skin and his wilder-than-normal curls had your knees feeling a little weak.

he tilted himself forward to speak in your ear. "what are you doing here?"

"what?" you started, a smirk growing on your lips. you knew no one from school ever expected to see you at a concert like this, but you liked to know you had some surprises up your sleeve. "didn't expect me to be a fan?"

"honestly, no, but, i always knew you were at least a little bit cool," he teased. he glanced around and noticed there was no one with you. "you're here alone?"

"yeah."

"me too," he stated before looking down for a second and then meeting your eyes once more. "well, i'll let you get back to your little dancing bubble, but it was a nice surprise to see you here."

eddie took a step away from you, but your fingers circled his wrist to hold him back. his brows tugged together when he looked back at you.

"wait, stay. you're good company, munson."

this time, you swore you'd collapse at the smile he showed you.

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[heartedbysunoo]

INTERVIEW

NI-KI: “Moments like that make me think I was born to do this”

ENHYPEN ‘ROMANCE : UNTOLD -daydream-’ 컴백 인터뷰

2024.11.18

NI-KI is turning his long-held dream into reality. And in the process, he’s discovering the unique style of singing, dancing, and everything else that defines him.

Your ASMR’s becoming really popular. (laughs)

NI-KI: Really? That’s good to hear. (laughs) I honestly didn’t expect it. I’m glad it’s not just ENGENE but ASMR fans who enjoy it, too. I never thought it would get such a good response. (laughs)

You use items from around your room when you do ASMR that reflect your personal style. Is home decor something you’re into?

NI-KI: I’ve always liked decorating things. Once I got my own room, I picked out the furniture and decor, and spent some time researching designs to try and make it a comfortable place to hang out. I don’t really like bright spaces, so I bought a lamp with a warm light to make my room feel darker. It makes watching movies a really immersive experience. (laughs) I always watch movies that line up with our concepts whenever we’re about to have a comeback. For the latest album, I watched 18×2 Beyond Youthful Days to explore the emotion of love.

What about it resonated with you?

NI-KI: The female lead is Japanese, and the male lead is Taiwanese, and there are times where they struggle to communicate with each other because of the language barrier. I had similar issues communicating when I first came to Korea since I’m Japanese. I could relate to the challenge of getting to know someone under difficult circumstances, too.

On that note, what do you see as the message behind your new single, “No Doubt”?

NI-KI: Being in love can make you worry or feel anxious, but when you’ve been together a long time, there’s trust there, too. I approached it with that sense of trust in mind. Even though we have no choice but to be apart from ENGENE at times, we trust each other after coming this far together. When I was practicing, I had my mind on that reassurance that we love each other. I tend to sing in this really breathy way, so it felt natural expressing those emotions. The song’s also got a lot of low notes, so I felt like it was a good fit for me. (laughs)

Where do you place your focus when recording vocals to really bring out your vocal strengths?

NI-KI: I spent a lot of time thinking about how best to bring out my voice when singing in the low to mid-range. I don’t like it when my voice sounds even the tiniest bit like it’s not me, so even if they say it’s okay, I still ask to do it again. Every one of us has to find our own signature sound. I’ve become determined over the years to come up with my own style for singing and dancing that nobody but I can do. I might not be great when it comes to high notes, but being able to hit low notes like I do is a plus by itself. It means my voice sounds soothing when I sing ballads and things, and I can also add a lot of oomph to harder ones like hip hop songs, which is another strength of mine.

You also brought your signature carefree vibe to the “No Doubt” choreography.

NI-KI: The song has sexy, stylish, sophisticated choreography. I believe a song’s message should always be reflected through facial expressions and movements. I put a lot of thought into the facial expressions, like how I frown on the words, “you’re my answer,” and I focused on dancing softly at a controlled pace since it’s a chill track. ENHYPEN’s going into our fifth year now, and I hope people can feel the difference in how much sexier we are after five years. (laughs) Everyone in the group brings something unique to their parts, so I hope people enjoy watching it.

What’s the most important point to consider for a perfect performance?

NI-KI: Personally, I find what I do with my head is super important. It’s what makes the performance feel dynamic and energetic. I practically use a full can of hairspray to hold my hair in place for concerts. Even if I use that much spray to give myself bankkan bangs [down over one side of the forehead, slicked back on the other], by the time we get to the end, it’s turned into deommeo bangs [covering the whole forehead]. (laughs) And when ENGENE cheers really loudly or gets me excited, I start ad-libbing without realizing it, which is really weird but cool. I don’t even plan it in advance—it just comes to me on the spot, like, How about I try this? Moments like that are so amazing that they make me think I was born to do this.

You did some old-school hip hop for the STUDIO CHOOM Artist Of The Month series, and it was really fascinating to see a different side of you from when you’re with ENHYPEN.

NI-KI: One of the backup dancers was my hip hop dance instructor back when I was a trainee. It was a little weird. I wanted to show how much I’ve improved since my trainee days, and all the feelings I had when I first fell in love with dance came back to me—like I was a trainee again. (laughs) Back then, I was absolutely determined to debut. It was do or die. So I approached Artist Of The Month with the same kind of determination, looking at it like my first and last chance—like I couldn’t not take the opportunity to show people an image that’s uniquely me. And anyway, I was there representing ENHYPEN, so I felt I had to do a good job. That’s why I insisted on doing hip hop. Thankfully, everything I wanted to do was incorporated into it, and I’m truly grateful and happy with the high-quality result.

I heard you had a lot of input on everything from the outfits to the choice of song, choreography, camera angles, and lighting.

NI-KI: I always watch a lot of videos of dancers doing choreography and at competitions. Not only are they amazing at making choreography, but they have great fashion sense and even work on the lighting. Watching stuff like that made me want to get actively involved in making content. Actually, I was busy with so many different things when the request came in, so part of me was worried, but once I got started, it was a ton of fun. I reviewed my dancing so much because I wanted everything to be perfect right from the outset, so now I have tons of videos of me practicing on my phone. We shot 14 hours’ worth of footage—long enough to fly to the US and back. (laughs) But it was so fantastic that sometimes I fantasize about going back to that time. I still watch that video.

You have a well-documented interest in fashion, and your old-school 1980s fashion in that video is really attention-grabbing.

NI-KI: I thought it was a good fit for the choreo. There’s so many styles of dance from the ’80s and ’90s that are still legendary even today, so we talked a lot about wanting choreography that would fit the outfits while getting ready for Artist Of The Month. I gave them some ideas on how I could dress in a way that would both make me stand out and look good with dancers dressed in the classic ’80s matchup of baggy jeans with Timberland boots. I was in constant talks with the visual team and I think we managed to find a good style.

Your outfit at the ‘WALK THE LINE’ IN GOYANG sound check got people talking, too. You seem to be good at pulling off unique fashion choices.

NI-KI: At some point, I started wanting to dress well at sound checks and places like airports, even when I’m just wearing regular clothes. I wanted to show ENGENE that I can dress well, so I’ve been studying up on my own and talking it over with the styling team. I search through popular magazines and fashion archives for fits and tones I can pull off. But finding clothes I truly love is hard. (laughs) I’m really into clothes with patches lately. What I’m wearing right now has patches. I searched really hard to find it, so I love it all the more. I love it.

There are many points in your concerts where teamwork shines through, like at the ‘WALK THE LINE’ IN GOYANG show, where you playfully teased SUNOO during “Your Eyes Only,” and encouraged JAY with a “you can do it!” during the encore.

NI-KI: When I’m at a concert, I lower my guard. I bounce around when things get exciting, feel close to the rest of the group, joke around when I feel like it. (laughs) I’ve had ENGENE tell me lately, “All you want to show anymore is your cool side!” But that’s not true. I want to be a cool guy, obviously, but I don’t like forcing a fake look. ENGENE seems to like it more when I’m emotionally open during our own concerts. They still see me as a little kid. Oh well. Can’t be helped. (laughs)

But you do have a serious side. After the FATE PLUS tour, you wrote on Weverse, “Thanks to the rest of the group, the seven of us can overcome anything. I’m extremely thankful for them.”

NI-KI: I want us all to do a good job and make it together. I think the reason we’ve made it this far is because we all make up for each other’s shortcomings. I have a lot to be thankful for. There was plenty to worry about when we first started getting ready for concerts and tense moments, but the more we’ve worked together, the more things seem possible. They’ve all been a huge source of strength for me just by quietly taking care of me and being there by my side. I felt too embarrassed to say it out loud, but on the inside, I depended on them. I want to do whatever I’m able to and help them out whenever they need it. I’m really proud of all the hard work we put into our concerts and what we make in the end, and I’m glad ENHYPEN loves it just as much.

Come to think of it, you’re the same age now as HEESEUNG was during the Mnet series I-LAND and as SUNGHOON, JAKE, and JAY were for BORDER: CARNIVAL. (laughs)

NI-KI: Heheh… At the time, I wanted to hurry up and be an adult like them so I could pull off every concept like them. That might just sound like I was saying “I wanna grow up!” but what I really wanted was to have a competitive edge as an artist. (laughs)

You became an adult this year. How have things felt different since then?

NI-KI: My personality’s changed a lot. Even as recently as the year after we debuted I was still really extroverted, but I’ve calmed down a lot since then. And I feel like I’ve really grown since I can assess different situations with an objective eye. I used to follow along with whatever other people wanted me to do, but I’m a lot more driven and proactive now. I’m happy with that since who I am now feels like the real Nishimura Riki. I’m in the process of showing my true colors.

In your debut interview, you said that being onstage at the Tokyo Dome for a SHINee concert made you determined to “be the one on that stage someday.” What was it like returning to the Tokyo Dome?

NI-KI: I got really emotional. Riding the lift by myself and looking out from the stage, I saw the same view from when I was a kid dancer for SHINee. I could even see my parents looking at me and smiling. I tried to hold it in all the way to the end, but once I got to “BLOSSOM,” I couldn’t hold back anymore. It confirmed to me that all my hard work had been worth it, and that was extremely moving for me. I was overjoyed. It was one of the single most memorable performances I’ve ever put on. It made me hope that ENGENE feels the same way as I do at all our concerts. I still get sentimental when I watch videos from that day.

Is that why you’re always saying that you want to repay ENGENE by putting on even better performances for them?

NI-KI: Yes, because performing onstage is, in my opinion, the most important part of my job, and what I strive to do best at. I believe that doing my very best onstage and sending good vibes their way is how I can return the love ENGENE gives me.

You can’t see love with your eyes, but I think it’s visible to ENGENE thanks to all your effort. Are there moments for you, too, where you almost feel you can see ENGENE’s love in concert?

NI-KI: While on tour, I saw deaf ENGENE in the audience signing with their friends. They might not be able to hear our music, but they still came to enjoy our concert. And isn’t that true love? That’s something I was able to feel and experience because we had the opportunity to meet so many ENGENE, and that made touring even more special to me. It was like my heart was singing from that moment on.

After the FATE world tour, you wrote on Weverse, “One long journey comes to an end, only for a new one to begin, so I hope you’ll come find us again soon.” In your original Japanese, why did you describe your concerts not using the more common term “tour” but instead using the word “journey”?

NI-KI: For me, that whole experience added up to a journey. Visiting all those cities, regions, countries, feeling the culture unique to each place, trying the food only available there, breathing in their air, meeting all the people… That’s what makes tours so exciting. I had such a wonderful time getting to see so many ENGENE during that, so I wrote “journey.”

What kind of “journeys” do you hope to have with ENGENE in the future?

NI-KI: A journey held together by a strong bond. (laughs) I want to work hard at what I love, take good care of ENGENE, and be with them for a long time. And I want to stay true to myself—not put up a facade, just be genuine. So I’m living my best life and giving it my all so I won’t have any regrets later on. Even if I can’t change the past, I can still shape the future through my actions.

[snowball-doie]

how do the dynamics change whenever jooha is born?

honestly haven't thought that far cuz timeline wise... like irl. bro is just a thought lmao- cuz jae doesn't enlist for another few weeks---- that being said. for you guys, i'll put my brain to work tehee:

after jooha is born, taeyong comes back from the military (jooha is born august '25), so while he missed out on a lot with reyna, he's not missing a thing with jooha. yeah, he's a girl dad, but he'll spoil both of them equally, and he'll be there to change almost every diaper, he'll wake up in the night when jooha's crying, he'll sing jooha lullabies while he's teething and in pain, etc. everything he didnt get to do with reyna, he's doing with jooha.

johnny is still the hands-on suburban dad we all know and love. because of laws and whatnot, johnny's legally jooha's dad, but as we've covered many times, it's known in the polycule and amongst friends that jae is his bio dad. still, johnny's head of the house, and esp while jae and dy are gone, he's picking up all the slack, going even more above and beyond-- ESPECIALLY in those early months when THREE boys are gone (ty, jae, and dy)..... but not much about johnny or his dynamic with the boys / ahri / reyna changes. he's still the same johnny they love.

yuta doesn't know what to do with a son at first. he's spent the better part of nearly 2 hours pampering reyna, and now jooha's there and hes like "ok when can i take him to his first rock concert" LIKE ALRIGHT BUD CALM DOWN-- i hate to say it........ but reyna is yuta's favorite. NO ONE TELL JOOHA!! that's his little girl, and she's always been his little rockstar that he can doll up and spoil and take with him to go home. a son is nice, really nice. and he loves jooha with his whole heart. but there's something special to him about the time he gets to spend with reyna. (i think this stems from me not imagining jooha wanting to be an idol. i think he'd grow up to not care about the industry- unlike his older sister who's always going to shows, listening to their dads' music, going to the office with them, learning to dance and sing, etc. jooha's the type to have his nose buried in a book and like to spend his time chasing fireflies around the backyard with mark in the summertime).

it's hard for dy to enlist when the time comes. knowing that he's not going to be there for the last few months of ahri's pregnancy and he can't be there for the better part of jooha's first year of life hurts his soul. idk how many of you are familiar with the concept of "dol" in korean culture- but tldr back in the day, bc of all kind of complications, it was hard for babies to make it past their first year of life, so on their first bday, they celebrate dol to be like "congrats, you lived!". dy got to experience that first year with reyna like the worried mother hen he is. a son is so, so, so important to him.... wdym he can't be there for that first year? he's supposed to clean everything in the house from top to bottom before ahri gets home from the hospital, he's supposed to clean up the baby puke in the high chairs or throw away all the dirty diapers that jungwoo doesnt want to be within 10 feet of. he's supposed to cater to all of jooha's needs and wants every second of every day...... but the reality is that he can't be there? it makes doyoung sick to think about it. he hates having to leave ahri and jooha after he's born. he hates having to spend every day in the military like he doesnt miss his family every waking moment. so the second he's discharged and can rush to the house, you best believe he's spoiling his son like there's no tomorrow~~ (he's the reason jooha loves to read and has a curiosity for the world and not for being an idol btw)

jaehyun loves his son more than life. ok, go read my dad!jae smut, you'll know that he was dreaming of having a son even before he and ahri got to fuckin lmao. being away sucks, yes, but like he promised ahri, he's going to get every update imaginable from the boys, and he's visiting every chance he gets. idk how and why, but that man does NAWT pass his humor genes on to jooha. he'll pull out the craziest dad joke out of his ass and jooha will be so confused omfg. "i broke my son" "no, he's got all his wires right, you're the broken one" ... jaehyun tries to spend all the time in the world that he has to offer with jooha. he does what he did with reyna, taking him to the office, getting him involved in his dads' work, but jooha tends to just be more curious about the timetables on the doors for who's using which studios on each day, and he's picky about how the choreographers make the boys rehearse-- if they miss a beat, he gets tilted. but he loves sitting in the recording studio, reading a book while using his dads' work as background noise. jaehyun feels proud of how smart his son is, and supports him no matter his decision-- in fact, i think the majority of the boys are actually kind of relieved when they realize jooha doesn't want to be an idol like them. ever since he's a baby, he's been the most bubbly kid who has such an amazing, contagious laugh... they would hate to see that torn away from him by some company. so jaehyun gives jooha everything he wants. more books? a fucking microscope for his birthday? a telescope? yes, anything and everything. and he'll record videos and videos and videos of jooha and mark catching fireflies together. he's a really good dad.

jungwoo. girl dad jungwoo. oblivious, dorky girl dad jungwoo. the second there's another boy in the house he's like "hes one of us....." LIKE NO SHIT SHERLOCK omfg. jungwoo had a tough time becoming a father figure to reyna at first cuz he didn't know what to do as a parent or how to raise a girl, but this is their second kid so the late nights and amount of shit, piss, and puke is normal to him now-- that said, he will never be caught changing a diaper, but at least he doesnt feel like throwing up anymore lmao. jooha laughs at jungwoo's dad. jaehyun doesn't understand how he's any different, but okay. there seems to be a natural closeness between jooha and jungwoo that no one else can come close to replicating or understanding, even when jooha's still so little that he's wrapped up in blankets while being cradled in jungwoo's arms all day. reyna used to fall asleep instantly in jae's arms while everyone else struggled with her a bit; this time around, with jooha, jungwoo has the magic touch, and he feels incredibly honored. honestly, it brings him and doyoung closer together. because by the time he's having to enlist, doyoung is coming back, and jungwoo can rest easy knowing that dy is there taking care of jooha, sending jungwoo pics in the middle of the night, or sending videos of jooha's first steps or first words. jungwoo's the only one of the boys who can get away with play-fighting with jooha- cuz again, he's the only one who has the kind of humor jooha fuck w. when jooha starts to get older and can be chased around the playset in the backyard, or when he comes home and says that he has a crush on a girl in his elementary school, jungwoo's got all the dad jokes on lockdown to make jooha laugh and enjoy his childhood. without jungwoo, i think jooha wouldve grown up to be TOO serious. it's okay that he's studious and has different intentions for his life than reyna does-- but sometimes he just needs a good laugh with his silly dad. (jungwoo is jooha's fav dad-- NO ONE TELL THE OTHER BOYS)

mark's like "thank god he didn't turn out like reyna" bahahahahaahah- mark grew up like jooha did, having his eye on studies rather than fun like his older brother. there are times when mark regrets his path (very few times) and wonders what his life could've been like if he hadn't become an idol.... he'll never know what he would've been like, but he looks at jooha and knows that everything's going to be okay. mark encourages jooha's curiosity with a hands on approach rather than spoiling him with toys and gadgets. chasing fireflies, going to museums, going to the park to dig up worms, sketching flowers at the botanical gardens, and so on. jooha gets his sense of poetry and love for life from mark. the beauty that reflects in jooha's eyes when he's learning something new for the first time always makes mark smile. by the time jooha's born, mark's not so concerned about the polycule or raising a kid anymore. he's content with the life he's built, and he feels secure through and through. so while there were a lot of hesitancies around holding baby reyna or not knowing how to raise her, mark has the whole thing down to a science by the time jooha comes around. whenever jungwoo isn't holding him, mark is. and it blows the boys and ahri away how often mark asks to feed jooha or hold up his little hands while he's just starting to learn how to walk. i think all along, in the back of his mind, mark was waiting for a son for life to make complete sense to him. (im not religious and me personally i dont like to get too biblical, but this is mark we're talking about. so for the sake of plot: he truly believes that god sent him jooha so that he can be the happiest, most care-free person in the world)

haechan side eyes baby jooha a lot. he knows the way of the world-- baby girls get spoiled, and boys are raised to be men. (please refer to this clip) so while jooha's still iddy biddy, hyuck gets cuteness aggression galore, but as jooha starts to get older, he's teaching jooha all there is to know about life. just life. every day, normal, mundane things; unlike jae who takes jooha to see idol things, or mark who encourages jooha's curiosities. hyuck shows jooha how to be a descent human being who has a lot of kindness in his heart and a good head on his shoulders. the boys def think haechan could be a bit. .... more playful...... afterall, that's his nature with everyone he knows, including reyna, so why not jooha? but have you seen hyuck? when he's serious about something, and when he's trying to be a leader, he's locked in. that's how he is with jooha. he loves his son so much that he wants to make sure jooha becomes a good man and not some shmuck.

[a-certain-romance]

Baby, I’m star-struck by you

Characters/Ships: Rockstar!Beidou x fem!reader & Rockstar!Zhongli x fem!reader

Synopsis: You knew them before the world did, now you get to experience it together. And fuck along the way

Warnings: Contains smut written by a minor, some semi-public sex (Beidou)

Notes: Both these fics have such potential to turn out longer but I’m cutting it off here. This is more of a modern!AU

Beidou and you were good friends during your school years before you drifted apart. It wasn’t until her band gained some popularity that you purchased tickets for a concert in your city hoping to see her again.

You were awe-struck when the both of you locked eyes, and by the look on her face you can tell she was too. So much so that she forgot the words to her own song but found her footing after holding the mic to the audience and urging them to sing with her. Security approached you after the show and guided you backstage where Beidou was waiting. Your reunion felt like fate as you settled in to catch up and it felt like not a day has passed.

Yet now that you’re both more mature, you do feel like there has been something that’s changed. Okay, maybe you have a tiny crush on Beidou all those years ago but that was all in the past. There was never any sign that she’d actually return your affections, at least as far as you knew, so you just let it run its course and hope for the best that nothing of that time resurfaces again.

It would take time for the both of you to get re-acquainted before those feelings arises again. Sure, Beidou’s had her fun, but why is it after meeting you that the thought of sleeping with someone else feels wrong? Maybe it had to do with the fact that you weren’t after her body, money, or status but her as a person. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that being in your arms felt like the home she never had. Either way, Beidou will eventually straight out ask if you want to be in a relationship with her. She wants to shout your name from the rooftops and doesn’t want to waste an opportunity like this over something as simple as fear.

Beidou’s band, The Crux, is known globally for their talented members. Namely their lead singer, Beidou, whose talent lies not just in her voice but in her fingers. She’s well acquainted with her electric bass guitar and often plays it during her shows. It’s no wonder she’s so good with her hands when she spends so much time plucking the stings. She knows how to work each digit to make you reach your high. And she does it with such rough precision it makes you begging for more.

Because of the constant hustle of her life, Beidou is definitely the type to partake in various forms of semi-public sex and has developed a likeness for quickies. The time she has with you during the day is so short, she wants to make the most of the time she has with you. Even if it means fucking you in places that might get you both caught, it all just adds thrill to the fun. She’d do it with you in a dressing room 10 minutes before a show no doubt. She’ll purposefully take her time enjoying you despite the urgent knocks on the door.

“The show can’t go on without me, certainly the audience can wait another minute or two.”

Even if you’ve been urging her to go for the sake of her career the minute you let yourself fall into pleasure she’ll take your advice, leaving you in wait til after the concert.

Being with Beidou means getting along with her band. There’s Juza who plays drums and occasionally steals you away to teach you a thing or two when you expressed interest in percussion. You and Huixing, who’s on keyboard, talk of travel; the places you’ve been and all the places you want to go. Maybe she can pull a few strings to get the latter to happen. Sea Drake, the lead guitarist, tells you all about the embarrassing stories he’s kept record of on all the members. Curiously, the one story he won’t tell is of how he got his nickname.

Everyone is so friendly and they all welcome you with open arms. They see the way their lead lights up when you’re in the room, they’re glad the two of you have found each other. With them, it’s like you’ve found another family.

After a rough day at work and a recent break-up, you wanted nothing more than to drown your sorrows in the nearest bar. You weren’t expecting to see such a beautiful bartender behind the counter at this late hour, much less to be so perceptive of your current state. He served your drink alongside a glass of water, and offered his ear for listening.

He listened to your day, you listened to his. You expressed how you don’t drink often, and he promised that if you were to come by another time he would brew tea or some other non-alcoholic drink instead. This promise led to you coming back every so often, he made good company and the knowledge the both of you shared made your conversations seem they can go on forever. You spoke of your hopes and dreams over those counters.

During the later hours there aren’t as many patrons but the bar still manages to occasionally pay for live performances. One night you both paused your conversation to listen to a man sing covers of mainstream artists and Zhongli said wistfully, “That’s what I want to do”

“What, sing covers at a near-empty bar?”

“Hm, covers no, but something like that.” You never thought you’d see him again after he quit his job without any notice, putting an end to your weekly chats. It made you regret not getting his number earlier and you mourn for the possibilities as your social media search comes to a dead end.

Years later, you nearly forget him until one day your friend scored front row tickets to one of his concerts and you are reminded of all those late nights. When he sees your face in the crowd he needs a moment to compose himself before singing.

His voice is what draws people to him. It’s suave and melodic to the ears whether it’s a fast paced or slower song, not to mention how enticing it is when he’s just simply talking. Paired with the right background productions for his songs, women and men alike swoon for him.

After the concert he’ll seek you out amongst the throng of fans to personally invite you to have a drink with him somewhere more private. Hi visage is apologetic as he recounts the meaning behind his sudden disappearance. But after the air is cleared he tells you how he’s glad to have his old friend back.

You get free tickets to shows that are in the city and unlimited access to time with him before and after. You’re always the first he meets when he goes offstage. He’ll put his hands on your waist and bring you in for a hug, wrapping his toned arms around you. He’s harbored feelings for you since the day you walked into that bar, they were just dulled in the time apart. He’ll wait patiently for you if you end up returning his affections.

He values your privacy immensely and knows the damage fame can do to your reputation. So at first he wants to make things official, yet exclusive. But despite the attempts your relationship was the spark for rumors and went straight to the headlines and there really wasn’t much reason in denying anything anymore.

The both of your are an absolute power couple. Especially at award shows, both being sure to match your outfits accordingly. It was unintentional at first when the both of you met in the limo and discovered you both wore navy blue, but now it just became your thing.

You took notice of how Zhongli adores the fact that your matching attire shows that you’re with him. Crowds like these can bring out the worst people and he wants to show those who try to flirt with you that you’re taken. Who can blame them though when you’re dressed like that. All that time spent modeling dresses and lingerie has to count for something, right? Not that it really matters in the end when it tears the material as he’s trying to free the fabric from your body.

When you are able to make the time, he loves having you by his side during tours. Zhongli is usually a composed man offstage. Most of the time he’s calm and courteous with his words and actions. But the rush of a good performance changes him; he feels like he’s on top of the world and wants to be on top of you. Sex after shows feels like such a privilege because you get to see the reveal of a completely different side of him.

He’s very compassionate with you. You have a small ritual before every performance: you do his signature red eyeliner, and he gives you a kiss on the lips for luck (later a kiss on a different set of lips). As you wave him off stage you realize you can get used to a life like this.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I'm so full. I'm so happy. This is everything that I wanted for the tannies. It's so amazing. Never mind its 144p and I'm still learning the lyrics. I had such a blast! Jimin was so cute. Yoongi was so funny and cute and sexy and awesome and just,,, just,,, JUST!!! Couldn't stop grinning while watching their wlive and burst out laughing as Yoongi ended it so abruptly. lol Love you, Yoongi. Love them. Who's doing it like them? Have you seen the Tiffany crowd? Have you seen the concert crowd?!!?

***

It’s a different sort of high being a fan of BTS, isn’t it?

It’s a different sort of joy seeing them be their remarkable, awe-inspiring and goofy selves. It’s so beautiful to see the love they so clearly have for each other. It feels a little too intimate sometimes, and in my experience, this is a feeling that’s unique to BTS. This group is very special. What they’ve got feels genuine because it is.

Jimin was vibing hard. Yoongi’s performance felt electric from start to finish. They spent time together, [*]riding to the venue and leaving afterwards. Its clear as day that Yoongi is happy Jimin is with him, and Jimin wears the respect and love for his hyung on his face. It’s just so easy with them.

And can I just mention Yoongi’s energy during tonight’s concert?

The way he attacked HUH?!

AGUST D???

Christ.

It’s like he gets stronger, wilder, every concert… lol, like I suspected, he’s already a bit too good at this. I’m gonna need him to calm down before the Cali dates. And now that we know we’re getting Tony Montana at a future date, I think we’re all going to really learn to pace ourselves. This could get crazy before long.

Because we’re only three days in and I’m already hanging on by a thread.

What he’s doing to me with these performances cannot be written on the internet.

He fucks me up so bad y’all.

Let me go on a short tangent here:

STD is an acronym that’s known in Korea to mean what you think it means. Everybody knows it. Language isn’t a barrier in this case. When people in Korea hear “STD”? They know what it’s referring to.

Now, what do you think about the way Yoongi introduced his alternate persona: AGUST D in 2016? The way he enunciates that phrase is sickening and intentional. The very mention of his name in the mouths of his detractors is a sickness they get from him fucking them. Or ‘fat dicking’ them, to quote Yoongi. And on that song he spits one of the sickest bars of his entire career. You’re guaranteed to be fucked just by hearing it. I mean just in his name there’s already triple entendres.

It’s mad.

Yoongi has a very peculiar energy. It’s very catlike, but also serpentine and there’s an undercurrent of barely restrained lunacy deep beneath the surface. Hobi is actually more crude than Yoongi in speech and flow, but Yoongi can be so cruel. And that quality, one he doesn’t shy from turning on himself too, coupled with his pragmatic and caustic delivery… lord. He sets himself apart from every other artist alive. Nobody in BTS cuts to the bullshit faster than Yoongi - he’s lived through the consequences of deluding yourself that you’re okay when you’re not. He’s a man who is constantly examining himself, checking his worst tendencies, but never compromising on what he truly believes.

Ugh.

Times like tonight, I look at BTS and feel so much calm. They are so competent, and I’m certain whatever they make, it will be very good. Yoongi has proven that so far with this tour. Yoongi’s D-DAY concert tour is easily the best solo concerts I’ve been to this decade, and I haven’t even attended one yet. But it’s easily the best one. Easily. And I’ve been to a lot (actually been to them), especially in the last 12 months.

That crowd Jimin pulled for the Tiffany’s event is no joke. We’re now at the point where Western celerities know they’re not the main popularity driver if Jimin is also involved. They know the crowds are there for Jimin. And when he eventually showed up, he looked magnificent. Elegant. Polished. Understated. One of these days I want to see Jimin bejewelled and dressed in all primary colours - something more vibrant and queer. But that Tiffany’s event went for traditional and understated and that’s okay. It worked, because Jimin can work anything.

**

Edit [*]: Typo correction. Should include "after", meaning after arriving at and leaving the concert, Yoongi and Jimin spent time together. They arrived separately and left together, spent time together also before and after.

[dat-town]

you are the knife i turn inside myself (that is love)

Characters: Seunghun & OC (Jieun)

Setting & genre: angst, hurt/comfort, set in the world of Save Me Kill Me MV

Summary: Jieun had always been an enigma. Yet, Seunghun can’t stop loving her.

Warnings: mentions of suicide (Yonghee’s), past attempted suicide (MC), bullying, parents’ divorce and neglectful behaviour (MC’s), deceased parents (Seunghun’s), academic pressure, depression (MC’s), therapy ‒ if any of these topics are triggering for you, please don’t interact with the fic. if you would like to know what to expect under any warning beforehand, feel free to send me an ask

International suicide hotline: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

Words: 6k

Author’s note: it’s a spin-off to in your eyes i see another me, for my convenience I named the previous reader, as Jinah. I don’t think it’s a must to read it but it gives more context. Heavily inspired by the CIX story films and Save Me Kill Me MV, so the boys’ characters resemble that more than their idol personality. This story is heavily Seunghun-centric.

Title taken from Kafka, read the meaning here.

For @restlessmaknae, thank you for always being such a supporter, for introducing me to new music (and groups) and for fangirling with me over fictional characters or real people in general. I hope next year you find a place where they appreciate you the way you deserve it and that it will be a better one health-wise. I wish you more (kpop) concerts, travel experiences and happiness! love you <3

Seunghun couldn't tell when exactly he fell in love with Jieun. Was it love at first sight? The way her fringe had fallen into her dark eyes, the fierce fire in them, the way she had looked at him like everything was a challenge ever since the first day of high school? Or was it much later when she had held his trembling hand during his mother's funeral?

Seunghun wasn't sure but he knew one thing: he didn't remember how it was to not be in love with her. That's why it hurt when he started to notice her building up walls, acting weird and hanging out with Byounggon more. The boy told himself he wasn't jealous, he had nothing against the other guy after all, but lying could only take him that far.

Then his whole world turned upside down when it turned out that Jieun had a twin who pretended to be her while she was in a hospital. In a coma. Because of attempted suicide.

It was like an ice cold shower because Seunghun would rather have Jieun be with somebody else than dead. Or in pain. But Jieun was like a rose with sharp thorns, so to love her was like handing her a knife, ready to be hurt.

The smell of the hospital was the same. Seunghun remembered it all too well. It didn't matter that it wasn't the same building or that months had passed. He had spent too much time beside Yonghee's bed, praying that he wouldn't leave like his mom, to forget. And now here he was, right by the unconscious Jieun's side doing the same.

She looked so vulnerable in the hospital bed, all pale and put on machines that kept her alive. So unlike how she really was: wild and lively like ember among ash. Whenever Seunghun came to visit, his heart sank at the sight and he couldn't help checking the heart monitor just to make sure. Hoping that one of these days it would be different, that she would open her eyes and everything would be okay. What a wishful thinking but it's not like he had anything better to do.

"Your sister comes back from the UK tomorrow. You should see Byounggon, he's like an excited puppy," he recited, sitting on the uncomfortable metal chair next to Jieun's bed. He didn't believe she heard him but the nurses told him it could help, so he did his best. It made it feel less weird too, just being there, silent, watching her sleep. Like this, he could pretend they were gossiping, like she could chuckle anytime soon and call him out on his bullshit when he exaggerated. Not this time though; ever since Jinah notified them that she had finished all her final exams and was heading back to Seoul for the summer, Byounggon was restless. "How long do you think it will take them to get together officially? We all saw how they looked at each other and long distance can't be an excuse now."

Honestly, given Jieun's and Byounggon's arguing history, Seunghun didn't think the girl would have been thrilled to know that her twin got so close with the guy, but he would have rather taken her frustration than her silence at this point. He would have given anything for her to wake up. Maybe he was selfish but he wasn't ready to lose her too. Too many good people had left them last year.

"I miss you," he whispered, toying with a loose thread of her thin duvet. The realization wasn't sudden but his confession was. It tasted bittersweet on his tongue or like sour candy.

Seunghun gulped while watching Jieun's porcelain face, her dark lashes and listened to the rhythmical beeps of the machine beside her. Nothing even stirred. Gently, he reached out to take her hand in his, so cold against his sweaty palms, so still and unlike her. Jieun wasn't fond of public displays of affection after all. He sometimes got away with a brief hug or nudge on the shoulder, but Jieun was often quick to pull away. But she was like that with everybody, so Seunghun didn't take it to heart.

He squeezed her hand softly, suddenly nervous at being so daring, but naively he hoped that maybe the cliché things from dramas would turn out to be true for once. But no, even as he stood up to leave and let go of her pale hands, the heart monitor's beeps remained steady.

With Jinah back in town, they had one more person at those Saturday hang outs Hyunsuk liked to call movie nights in honour of the film club they used to be a part of.

Eventually all of them had graduated, even Byounggon and Jinyoung had managed to do so without having to retake the senior year. Seunghun wasn't sure it would have happened without Jinah. Sure, her lying to them and impersonating her sister had been morally wrong but with her around they had all gotten a new perspective: that they all had something to live for and none of the people who had left them would have wanted them to feel otherwise. At first, Seunghun had thought that it had been naive to think so, so unlike Jieun, but then he had gotten to know about her in the hospital and realized that maybe it had been their pessimistic mindset of theirs all along that had pushed the girl to the edge.

Hyunsuk and Byeol had gotten into the same college, sociology majors – she had wanted to study that and he hadn't known what else to do –, and it was cute how they lived their campus romance. Jinyoung had started working in a coffee shop and whenever they visited him, female customers were making heart eyes at him. Byounggon had gotten a job at a convenience store and often took night shifts because he had always been a night owl (and because with the timezone difference, this way he could talk more with Jinah), but with her back in time, it was most likely up to change.

And Seunghun? He had taken on a few children's dance classes to teach and was studying for the civil worker exam. With house bills to pay he couldn't allow himself to dream big. With all of them pressed up against each other on a couch, watching a movie, he was already paying his dream coins thinking of Jieun – that she would make faces but like this anyway –, wishing she was there.

It was almost the end of the visiting hours when Seunghun woke up. He didn't mean to fall asleep over Jieun's hospital bed, arms folded like a pillow but he was up late learning a new choreography. He loved the lack of crushing thoughts when he was dancing, the soreness in his muscles and the beats of music the only thing he was aware of. No what ifs or guilt or anxiousness, just dance. Except when Jieun had been watching him dance before because then his thoughts had been all about her.

The boy startled and pulled back, scooting back in his chair. He yawned as he rubbed his eyes. Then he froze, eyes widening.

Jieun was watching him.

Her eyes were misty and unfocused but she was awake. Seunghun stood up so vehemently that he almost knocked his chair back. Her name was a prayer of gratitude as he called it. The soft sound made the girl focus on him. Breathing through the plastic mask over her face, heartbeat measured by the wires put on her body, white hospital grown over her pale skin, Jieun seemed like a stranger but her eyes, they were still the same: sad but with fire in them.

Seunghun held his breath while a single drop of tear rolled down Jieun's temple, then she closed her eyes again right before the nurses arrived.

Seunghun was sent out while the doctors and nurses ran a million tests on the girl. He called Jinah and wrote in the group chat but he didn't know what else to do. He was pacing, walking up and down the corridor and while this was what he was waiting for, for her to wake up, it was also nerve-wrecking.

"How is she?" Seunghun ran up to the nurse who just came out of the room.

"Better than expected. But I can't tell you the details. Only family members are entitled to know medical details."

It left a sharp feeling in Seunghun's gut after spending in the hospital hours every week, but he wasn't surprised. He needed the family's permission to be able to visit too, so he didn't push it.

"Can I see her?" He asked instead, but the nurse looked at him uncertainly, with pity.

"I'm sorry but… the patient specifically said she doesn't want you to see her like that. Nobody apart from her family actually," she bobbed her head apologetically before hurrying away, leaving the boy behind.

Disheartened, Seunghun sank down onto the row of uncomfortable plastic chairs in the corridor and tried not to feel hurt. He knew how proud Jieun was, how much she hated to show weakness to others. He should have expected it, but it still stung.

He didn't know how much time had passed by the time the doctors and rest of the nurses left or when Jinah and Byounggon arrived. He just sat there, waiting, waiting. He wasn’t sure what for, not anymore.

Jinah told all of them that according to the doctors Jieun would make full recovery. She had to attend rehabilitation because she just spend months not moving and obligatory therapy due to the attempted suicide. She wasn't particularly happy about either of those nor having to repeat her senior year. But at least she didn't look like she was disappointed that she survived or so Jinah said. Not that they talked about it. Jieun wasn’t quite generous with words, not when it came to topics like this.

After a week of various examinations they would let her out of the hospital and she would spend two weeks in the mountains for recovery. Three weeks until Seunghun could see her again. If she was ready then.

"Seunghun, you are a beat behind. Where's your mind at?" His dance teacher's scolding pulled him out of his running thoughts.

Thoughts around and about her. Always her.

"Sorry," he mumbled and tried not to think of Jieun.

But he saw her even when he closed his eyes.

Jieun was alive and awake yet she had never felt farther. Seunghun's messages went unread on her phone and he only knew what was happening to her from Jinah. It felt wrong. Weren't they supposed to be best friends? When had it all gone wrong?

When she had jumped? Or when Yonghee had done?

Or when he had fallen in love?

Seunghun felt like she was slipping through his fingers like sand. It was almost like he was losing her all over again. For real, this time.

People said that it was natural to drift apart with your friends after school, once you didn't see each other every day, but he couldn't let go. He knew it wasn't about him graduating. Jieun was avoiding him. Seunghun told himself that she must have needed time. She was one of the strongest people he knew and she hated when she was seen as weak or vulnerable, she must have resented that he had been with her in the hospital. But how could he have not? At least he had been close to her that way.

The day after Jieun got back from the mountains, Seunghun got a text in the middle of his teens class. It was one simple message:

Can we meet?

His heart thrummed like a traitor when he saw it. He was sweaty and tired, but he wouldn't have missed out on the opportunity.

They agreed to meet at the park they often hung out later that night. Seunghun was more nervous than he would have liked to admit. His hands got clammy again after taking a quick shower and water droplets were still falling from his hair when he jumped on the bus. He was drumming on his knees to the rhythm of his heart, a jumpy little dance.

He didn't know what to expect. After months of not talking to Jieun, he wasn't sure. After her not wanting him to see her, he got even more uncertain. He kept replaying their last conversation. The one Jinah had confirmed wasn't with her. The way Jieun had smiled at him, nudged him playfully and stolen his fries. It had been painfully normal. He had used to beat himself up over not noticing the signs but all of them had been a mess after what had happened with Yonghee and Seunghun  had been busy with his mother's funeral too. There had been a new norm after that, nothing had been the same, so nothing had felt out of the ordinary. Nothing had felt like ‘Yonghee all over again’.

Jieun was already there when he got to the park. She sat on a bench with her long hair falling onto her shoulders, moonlight shining on her fair skin beautifully. She wore her signature eyeliner and black nail polish which reminded Seunghun of times before she got to the hospital where she was pale and bare faced, looking young, innocent and so so fragile. Seeing her again like this knocked the air out of the boy.

"Hey," she looked up, straightening her spine a bit once she was aware of his presence. The small movement didn't sit well with Seunghun. They were closer than to act differently around each other… Or so he thought they were.

"Hey," he echoed and took the seat next to her, his hands gripping on the edge of the bench. It felt unreal, being so close to her again, and she was awake, warm and real. "You… you look better."

It was a clumsy compliment but Seunghun knew Jieun would have never let him get away with calling her pretty or something like that. She didn't like that and the boy never knew why but according to Jinah they were always compared based on their academics and looks too. Early signs of Jieun's rebellion came with her going against what their parents would have liked to see her as: the ideal, well-behaving, perfect little angel.

"Better than half-dead in the hospital? Jeez, thanks," the girl snorted and her tone made Seunghun wince. Joking with her almost dying wasn't funny to him. He didn't say anything though, so silence embraced them for an uncomfortable moment.

"I'm sorry," Jieun sighed eventually and she sounded sincere.

Seunghun wasn't sure why she apologized though. For the insensitive joke? For ignoring his messages? For not letting him visit her in the hospital once she was awake? Or for the reason she had been at the hospital in the first place? Nevertheless, Seunghun shook his head, not wanting her to blame herself.

"Don't be."

"I am," she insisted, her eyes intense when their gazes met. "I never wanted to hurt you."

The boy sucked in a breath.

He was at fault too: he cared too much. But he couldn't say it was okay nor he could say he wasn't hurt. He was so damn confused at the same time as he was just happy to have her back. Because she was back, right? She wouldn't disappear like that again?

He wanted to ask. He wanted to beg even though he didn't have the right to tell her what to do. He wanted her to stay, but they didn't talk about it, about the elephant in the room, since everything was still so fragile.

Instead Seunghun looked into her deep dark night of her eyes and smiled.

"I missed you," he said.

Stay with me, he wished.

"I missed you, too," she said with the smallest of genuine smiles in the corner of her mouth.

For then, it was enough.

Admittedly, Seunghun had feared that Jieun wanted to meet because she would have preferred to cut ties with him, that it would have been a goodbye, maybe her moving away or just trying to start a new life. He was terribly relieved when it turned out that she just didn't want to apologize over messages for being distant ever since she woke up. She just needed time and space and she didn't like the idea of him wasting his time beside her hospital bed like he had done with Yonghee, too. He wouldn't have called it a waste of time though, he'd had nothing better to do and he had wanted to be there for them. Since he hadn’t been able to help, this was something he could have at least done. But convincing Jieun something like this was a lost cause and he didn't want to argue. A part of him just wanted things to go back as they were but another part of him, the one that wasn't a coward, wanted to be mature about it and talk it through. But he was afraid Jieun would put her walls up and shut him out then and he didn't want to lose her. He knew how much she disliked that therapy already that she had to attend for a year.

So Seunghun did the next best thing he could think of: making sure Jieun had reasons to live. He started writing a list, a list that he hoped would never end, of things that he knew she wanted to do, achieve or see. Be it a band concert, a trip to Gangnueng or just a choker she bookmarked on her phone. He knew her well and long enough to easily come up with a dozen list items but the hardest part was being smooth enough at delivering these that Jieun wouldn't call him out on it.

Like when they were out late again one night and he thought using that excuse that he was hungry would be enough to suppress her doubts.

"It's just so random," she grumbled when he told her dinner would be on him. It wasn't even anything fancy, just bibimbap that she always loved.

"I wanted to take you out from my first paycheck but you weren't awake then, so here we are," he echoed the practiced explanation. Technically it wasn't even a lie, he had wanted to do that. But now he had one more reason to.

When they crossed an item off his unwritten list, Seunghun added two more points in its place. With time, it turned into a little bucket list about things he wanted to do with her. Hyunsuk teased him that it was almost like he was planning dates for them and Seunghun had to make him promise not to call them dates out loud in front of Jieun. So what if he wanted to try out the new bingsu place with her or watch falling stars together or discover old record stores? He just wanted to be with her.

He knew it was only a matter of time that Jieun noticed the pattern and actually said something about it and then it would end. Seunghun guessed she kind of already knew, she just entertained him by letting him throw in a new idea for every weekend. Sometimes she asked if he shouldn't have studied instead but eventually let him be after listening to his nonsense excuses like how taking a break would fuel his productivity eventually.

Seunghun thought he could act like nothing had happened. Because it seemed like this was what Jieun wanted.

But sometimes he just couldn't.

"Jinah told us that you went to a psychologist," he said quietly after they visited Yonghee and his steps halted when Jieun fell behind.

"She shouldn't have. She had no right," she snapped, sounding both cold and angry at the same time, brushing past him, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

It was exactly what Seunghun wanted to avoid, but the cat was already out of the bag, so he didn’t want it to be an affair to brush off. He caught up with the girl, grabbing her wrist just temporarily to stop her and slip in front of her vision.

"You could have told me," he added, quiet and gentle, and Jieun's anger seemed to fade. She always seemed to soften just a bit when it came to him. Maybe that was also a reason why he fell for her. Because she made him feel special.

"You were struggling already because of your mom on top of what happened with Yonghee," she reasoned and Seunghun wished that she would have been more selfish than that. How could she have thought that her struggles would have been too much on top of everything as if she mattered less to him?

The boy sighed, shaking his head.

"That's not the only reason," he argued because he knew her and she respected him enough not to deny.

"That's not the only reason," she agreed, keeping eye contact. Brave, brave Jieun, why was she so afraid of showing vulnerability as if it was a weakness? Didn't she know that he wouldn't have thought less of her because of something like that?

"Can you tell me now? What happened? I would have never thought that you…" Seunghun wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence and it was probably the worst timing and not the best location either. But at least the streets were vacant and they were the only people under this alcove. The stars would keep their secrets. 

"I wanted to know how Yonghee felt," Jieun shrugged, trying to play it off but Seunghun saw the nervousness in her movements, the way she put her weight from one leg to the other. “Was he scared? Was it fast? Did it hurt? Maybe if it was fast and painless, it would be easier to accept it.”

Seunghun imagined her walking over the bridge, watching the river rush by underneath her and thinking of Yonghee. Of the boy with the gentlest soul and all those bruises on his fair skin. He imagined her screaming and reckless, finding comfort in the dark and the waves. The impact of her jump held magnitudes. It could never be fast and painless, not for those who loved them.

“Do you know what was the last thing I told him?” Jieun asked but Seunghun didn’t answer.

How could he have known when she had never told him? What he knew was that she had gotten into an argument with Yonghee not much before he had left them. But that was nothing new, Jieun had got into her fair share of arguments with all of them, especially Byounggon, because she was like an ember, fierce and restless. Yonghee had known this, he had known that her words were sometimes harsher than she intended.

“I called him a coward. I told him he was weak. That if he wasn’t going to stand up for himself, it’s like he’s letting them kill him,” Jieun’s lips trembled and she looked away, her voice getting breathy. “We were his safe space and I made him feel like he was a disappointment. I…”

A sob escaped her. It was so sudden that Seunghun didn’t see it coming. He had never seen Jieun cry. Not at Yonghee’s funeral, not when she had broken her arm trying a skateboarding trick in their freshman year. Yet, it was like an instinct: winding his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace. He half-expected her to push him away, to build up the walls once again just to prove that she was strong and independent. But maybe, finally she knew that from time to time it was okay to be vulnerable, with the right people it wasn’t a bad thing.

“I… What if that was the last straw? What if it was like I pushed him over the edge?” She sobbed into his shirt and he held her tighter as if he could keep her together as she was spiralling down. He had no idea she held so much guilt and grief inside.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered into her hair and murmured other reassuring words while storing her back. Yes, they were all bystanders and maybe they could have offered help, could have pushed more but Yonghee had loved them and he insisted that he was okay. There was no way they could have known what had been going on behind his smiles.

Jieun cried for a long time. Years worth of tears dried up on Seunghun’s white tee as she pulled back and wiped away the rest from her cheeks.

“Shit. I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you,” she sighed, her voice raspy from all that crying and the boy practically saw her build up her walls level by level as she composed her facial expressions and wiped away her smudged makeup. She was mentally running away, so the boy told her the only words he thought that could stop her.

"Jieun... you are the strongest person I know."

The girl blinked at him in disbelief, his reflection clear in her shiny eyes.

"Do you really still think that?" She asked ironically with the certainty of someone ragged and patched up, scars from her fall still fading into her pale skin. But to him, she had never been broken.

"Yeah, I really do," Seunghun nodded, convinced and genuine.

She had never looked stronger.

Seunghun was hovering over his textbooks in the pleasant warmth the coffee shop where Jinyoung worked provided when somebody stopped by his table. His first thought was the barista boy but the mellow female voice that greeted him proved him wrong. Even after months of knowing Jinah, sometimes the striking similarity of the twins still surprised him. Most likely because he had spent years without knowing about the other girl's existence. But now that he knew and the girl stopped pretending to be Jieun, it was also painfully obvious in just how many subtle ways they were different. It wasn't just about the lack of eyeliner – which Byounggon had noticed since day one –, but the way they styled their hair, the way they dressed or the way they talked. There was that warm smile on Jinah's face too that Jieun so rarely showed. Looking back it was impossible to not tell them apart.

"Hi, how's studying?" She asked, sounding sincerely curious as her fingers intertwined over her iced frappé.

"As okay as it can get,"  the boy shrugged, straightening his back, using her presence as an excuse to focus on something else other than the material. "And what are you doing here?"

"Just getting coffee while I wait for Gon to finish his shift," she explained and glanced at her watch, checking the time, before pointing at the chair across from Seunghun. "Can I join you until then?"

"Sure," the boy nodded, trying not to show any lingering awkwardness that remained from the time when she had been pretending to be Jieun. He wasn't angry at her anymore, he understood her reason no matter how wild it was but he still couldn't forget the confusion he had felt when he had thought he had been starting to lose Jieun to Byounggon only to realize that it hadn’t been her to begin with.

Small talk with Jinah wasn't as awkward as he thought though. He asked her about how she was holding up in the Korean summer weather and told her about his upcoming civil servant exam. Only when they seemed to run out of easy topics like that did she bring up her sister.

"Did Jieun tell you anything about Gon and me?" She asked, fidgeting with her napkin.

Seunghun furrowed his eyebrows. Why would they have talked about them? Was something up? Should he have known something? He thought things were going well.

"Uhm, no. Why?"

Jinah seemed a bit uncertain at the outright question. She was probably embarrassed to bring it up herself.

"She doesn't really like him, huh?" She whispered, tapping her nails against the glass. "And it's not like I need her approval but... she's still my sister, you know."

Well, Seunghun didn't know. He didn't have any siblings and up until last year he had no idea Jieun had. But after getting to know Jinah and their close bond with her twin despite being separated for years, he thought he understood why she felt that way.

"Jieun doesn't hate Byounggon or anything like that. They are just too similar in a way," he told her eventually, thinking of how vocal they both could be about their opinions, how fierce they could fight for their loved ones or how reckless they could be if they thought it was the right thing to do. They had similar enough personalities to clash because neither of them liked to be proven wrong... or seen vulnerable. They were the lone wolves that could lead packs. "Maybe the same reason why she doesn't think she is fit for happiness is why she would prefer if you stayed away from him."

Jieun was good at holding grudges but the one she forgave the hardest was herself. As if she didn't deserve it just because she made some honest-to-god mistakes.

"The same way she stays away from you?" Jinah asked and Seunghun's eyes widened, his ears on fire.

"Did she–"

"She didn't need to say anything, but I can tell that she is guarded whenever it's about you. She cares about you, a lot, but she doesn't want others to know," Jinah interrupted him before he could have asked and yeah, that sounded very much like Jieun. "While I was pretending to be her, I heard girls whispering that she didn't deserve you. That's also probably why she had 'bitch' written over her locker and who knows what else happened to her that made her think it would be a bad idea to… let you closer, I guess."

Seunghun hummed, more to himself than to her, his hands in fists, knuckles white in his lap. Was he a bad friend for not knowing about it? For thinking that something so petty couldn't get to Jieun?

He wasn't sure he had the right to ask more even if Jinah knew more, so he stayed silent and then watched Jinah's face brighten and following her gaze, he saw Byounggon by the door, with the same, small but happy smile on his face. They were so obviously in love that it made Seunghun wonder when it had stopped hurting for them.

Seunghun made a plan. It wasn’t a very thorough or foolproof plan but summer was ending and he really should have stopped being a coward. Life was short and he didn’t want to live with regrets.

He asked Jieun to meet at the playground in the park where they often hang out. This late it was empty and Seunghun was sitting on one of the two metal swings, enjoying the last of the summer breeze in his face. Jieun arrived with soft steps and a not so soft push on his swing. Her laughter that followed his yelp was a chime of bells in the night.

"So what's the occasion?" She asked, straight to the point, taking a seat next to him, not yet sensing his nervousness, so the boy decided it was better to just tip off the bandage.

"I thought we could get away from the city before you go back to school," he said once he was sitting up straight again. He reached into his backpack and handed her a return train ticket to Gangneung, her favorite beach town. She took it with a frown, her surprise morphing into something akin to embarrassment mixed with frustration. Not a good sign but the boy tried not to lose hope as he waited patiently for her to say something.

"You don't have to do this. You don't have to, I don’t know, trying to convince me that life is beautiful or whatever," Jieun scoffed but her fingers grazed across the paper ticket in her hands like it was something precious. Her addition almost sounded like resignation. "I don't want to die."

The not anymore echoed somewhere between them.

"I know. But I want to do these things with you," Seunghun insisted because it wasn't just about that. What happened to her made him realize that life was fragile and fleeting, he didn't have all the time in the world to wait around for a chance with her. He didn't want to procrastinate these plans anymore.

But it wasn't enough for Jieun, it never was. She liked logic and reasons and the truth.

"Why?" She asked firmly and Seunghun felt like he was held at gunpoint.

Because we are best friends sounded like a lie.

"I want to be the one you do these things with," he admitted and it sounded like a confession. He didn't plan it but his voice softened as he looked at her, his eyes were probably full of the longing he tried to hide so hard all these years because he knew she would reject him for a better or worse reason.

"Seunghun…" Jieun sighed and he thought this was it, she knew and she would reject him. Of course, she knew. He wasn't exactly subtle, even Jinah knew and she knew him for the least amount of time. Jieun looked at him and the boy held his breath, waiting for the blow. The invisible gun, aimed at his heart, fired. "You deserve better. I'm such a mess and a bad influence. You deserve a pretty girl who is kind and patient."

It didn't hurt as much as he expected. Jieun said nothing about her feelings or that his were ridiculous or one-sided. She just said what she thought was true because she had no idea how he saw her, how much he could thank her. She might not have been the conventional idea of pretty but to him, she was the prettiest. And bad influence? When it was her who pushed him to believe in himself and keep trying because he could do anything?

"I don't want anybody else," he said because he knew he couldn't have convinced her of anything else. “I like you.”

Jieun abruptly stood up from her swing and leaned over him, grabbing the metal chains to support herself just above his hands, her hair falling around them like a silk curtain and her warm breath fanning over his skin. Seunghun felt heat rush to his cheeks as he kept eye contact and warmth spread through his whole body from the point where her pinky brushed against his fingers.

"Why me?" Jieun asked and it was the most ridiculous question because the boy couldn't have said why it could not have been her.

The girl who had taken the blame when they had gotten caught being late from school because there had been a long queue for the waffle they had bought before classes. The one who had been there for more of his dance recitals than his own parents. The only one who had told him he could do it even when he hadn’t believed it. His safe place. His first love.

"It could never be anybody else," he whispered. He didn't mean it literally and she knew it. There were girls who had approached him before both in class and at the dance academy but he didn't care. To him, there was only Jieun.

"Idiot," she murmured but there was no edge to her words, only fondness. She sat back down on the swing next to him, feet kicking sand.

Seunghun turned to her, watching her expressions closely before he reached for her hand. First, he just tentatively held it, half-expecting Jieun to pull away, like she always did but when she didn't, he intertwined their fingers. They were both holding on.

What was love if not this? Feeling content just by sharing a space, this kind of closeness between two people? Knowing that by being vulnerable with them, they could hurt you and yet you willingly give them the power because you hope they wouldn't? Why? Because they love you too.

[boygurphone]

Honestly. I feel like Infodumping about my mtl oc and it's be a good opportunity too since, no one really knows about her besides me and my friends SOOOOOO infodump time :3

This is "Truck Baumgardner" (his actual name is confidential. No one knows what her name is except for Truck). Truck serves as the music video director and cinematographer of Dethklok, having been with them since almost the beginning. He uses he/she pronouns

(the first reference I did of them) (this is the outfit they actually wear) (I'll make a proper ref soon)

[more info below the cut]

I'm still a little stuck on his voice claim but I'm mostly leaning to either Debbie Harry or Jen from Downtown (Tammy Lang). As of now, Jen has been a place holder voice claim.

She's very much a stoner lol (her and pickles are best friends and likes to do drugs together. They like to get drunk and high)

Speaking of Pickles and Truck, these two loved going to concerts together, mostly punk shows (Trucks favorite genre is Punk btw). The two don't do it often now since Dethklok is one of the biggest bands but they love going to bars and drinking. They're very close.

As of Fertilityklok (Season 3 episode), Truck and Toki are dating. They've been having a situationship

since probably season 1. The two do love each other, they just never said it until after the events in Fertilityklok which did make Truck a lil upset (the events in the episode I mean)

should I mention that Truck has died plenty of times in the past here too? Yeah she's immortal and has always been immortal since she was 15 after being burned alive by her father. He also knows Lucifer and likes to call him Lucy, mostly just to make him upset. She thinks it's funny.

The band all acknowledges the fact that Truck is immortal and they never talk about it. Ever since Murderface learned of this fact, Truck became this dummy for him to experiment with all of the weapons he has. The first time Toki saw Truck die, it was pretty traumatic for him since he didn't know about it. So often whenever Truck is alive, he just listens to her heartbeat to make sure he's alive.

Trucks death lore is a lil complex, if you would even call it that, it has rules. Okay, depending on the injury, Truck can be dead for at least a couple hours or for even an entire day. Though her body always rejuvenates or heals the injury in 24 hours/couple hours. It happens in real time too. I have no idea if that made any sense lol

Getting away from all the death stuff, Trucks relationship with the other band members follows as this; Truck sees Nathan as a Father figure, the only father figure in her life as her own father often neglected her. She sees Murderface as an annoying brother and the two often bicker. She has no hard feelings towards Murderface killing her because she doesn't remember it happening. Her and Skwissgaar I'm working on because I don't know, the two had a quiet falling out to say the least. They just don't talk to each other as much as they did back then.

Her relationship with Charles is professional, they do work together after all. Often Truck tells Charles the music video she has in mind for a Dethklok song/single. Dick Knubbler and Abigail still needs work but I know that Truck loves Abigail more than Knubbler and they love talking to eachother. Her and Magnus used to date but never worked out because they often fought and argued. I think of their relationship like Marceline and Ash from Adventure Time.

That's all I have in me. If you read this far, I appreciate that ! Thank u and I hope you love him just as much as I do :3

[yeehawbvby]

Am I ~seducing~ you? | Ch. 1*

(Piers x OC Maxine)

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Summary: "Piers stopped in his tracks as he watched his friend smile at him while propping herself onto her elbows, and then drop that smile and widen her eyes as they raked up and down his body. 

Oh, does it look bad? he worried to himself.

Then, he noticed Max’s face grow pink. Her ears and what little of her neck he could see followed as her cheeks turned a deep red he wasn’t sure he’d seen on them before.

…That must be a good thing then, yeah? Probably?"

Author's Note: Wowee, what a surprise, another romantically and sexually tense MinMaxShip fic!! (said no one ever)

I had way too much fun writing this. I’ve been dealing with tons of health issues lately, which has made writing kinda hard, but it’s fun being able to whip up silly one-shots here and there when I can.

Hope y’all enjoy x

Check it out on ao3!

Next

With battling being so ingrained into Galar’s culture, it was common for the region’s gym leaders to keep their stadiums open on holidays. Why would passionate trainers sit at home with their friends and families on, let’s say Christmas Eve for example, when they could go take on gym leaders as a group activity instead? 

Piers, preferring to do his own thing, would pick and choose which holidays to keep the Dark venue open. He’d take it year-by-year, seeing how he was faring the week of the occasion, and would advertise a celebratory event only if he felt like it’d be worth it. Oftentimes he’d forgo battling entirely, putting on a show instead; but regardless of what he decided on, he never failed to sell the venue out.

The amount of people who showed up proved to be far too overwhelming for Max, so she simply didn’t work holidays. She’d had one incident in her early days as a gym trainer where she tried to push past her immense discomfort and be there for a New Year’s event, only to have to hide away backstage due to a panic attack. It was for the best that she just stayed home. 

She didn’t mind it, despite how isolating it could be. If anything, she found comfort in how quiet their apartment building would become with so many people at one gym or another. 

This day in particular was Halloween, and Piers was readying himself for a concert. He’d always encouraged everyone — his staff included — to show up in costume. The practice kept employee morale higher, attracted more attention from fans and trainers alike, and honestly, Piers just found it fun. The idea of being able to dress any way he wanted to once a year excited him. It made him feel less self conscious when he wanted to experiment with wearing dresses, or different types of makeup, or whatever, because if he was met with criticism he could just blame it on the holiday.

Piers had his fair share of silly costumes, such as pokemon kigurumis or maid outfits. He’d never been the type to use Halloween as an excuse to look sexy like so many people do.

For some reason, he felt bold enough to change that this year.

He was a little self conscious as he inspected his incubus getup in the mirror. His high ponytail was complemented by a headband with two black horns, which held his fringe away from his face; he swapped his black eyeshadow for a deep burgundy, creating a smokey look in unison with his smudged black eyeliner; and he toyed with some faux fangs, ultimately deciding to wear them at least until he got on stage.

His usual pendant adorned his neck, and below it, his torso was practically bare. He had on a black, long-sleeved, mock-neck shirt, but the fabric ended in an upside-down v-shape just above his chest. 

Raihan, being a master of the craft of Looking Slutty, suggested Piers spice it up with some fake tattoos somewhere on his lower torso. He reluctantly did just that, drawing a small black wing with some eyeliner between each hip bone, slightly below his navel. He thought it would be too much but wound up liking it, especially preferring it over sporting a set of wearing fake wings.

He wore tight, black, leather pants, and would slip on some high-heeled leather boots on his way out, as usual. Today, though, he added a whale tail with a burgundy thong beneath it all — a little accent to complement his eyeshadow — and a black leather garter on his upper left thigh.

It wasn’t out of character for Piers to be completely shirtless at some points during his shows just due to sweat, but something about today felt so much more scandalous than usual. Maybe it was the attention he drew to his hips, or maybe it was the fact that he was arriving at the venue already practically topless. Who could say?

He wanted a second opinion on the outfit. Most of Piers’ buddies were gym leaders and busy prepping for their own celebrations, though, so Piers didn’t want to bother any of them.

That only left… Max and Marnie, he supposed. And there was no way in hell he was showing his little sister this outfit.

He sighed, dragging his feet on the short walk between rooms. The star felt a bit nervous presenting himself to Max so scantily clad. She’d seen him topless, but like he’d been thinking, this felt different.  

He stood outside Max’s room and asked, “Oi, you decent?” through the door.

“Yup.”

She was hanging out on her bed. She laid belly-down, her head towards the foot of the mattress and her arms slightly dangling off, with her DS in hand. Not having Halloween plans herself, but wanting to do something, she opted to just wear a fuzzy white cat ear headband with her otherwise unfestive black hoodie and light pink joggers. 

She was in the middle of something, so when Piers entered, she hadn’t looked up. She did greet him, though. 

“What’s up?”

“Need your opinion on my costume.”

“‘Kay, ooone sec,” she murmured. 

Piers admired how Max’s brows furrowed when she was feeling determined. He grinned when he noticed her headband, too. Cute.

He huffed out a near-silent laugh in tandem when Max’s misdreavus made itself visible and floated over to Piers, greeting him with its own set of cat ears equipped. 

He patted its head between the accessory. “Hey, missy.”

It chirped happily before leaving the room to hang out somewhere else in the apartment. Probably the couch, he assumed. That fella really loved a good sofa… or any sofa for that matter. Theirs was pretty beaten up.

Piers shut the door behind the creature. Curious as to what Max was doing while he waited, he was about to make his way towards her with the intention to watch over her shoulder; but right when he took his first step, Max closed the device with a triumphant huff and looked towards him.

Piers stopped in his tracks as he watched his friend smile at him while propping herself onto her elbows, and then drop that smile and widen her eyes as they raked up and down his body. 

Oh, does it look bad? he worried to himself.

Then, he noticed Max’s face grow pink. Her ears and what little of her neck he could see followed as her cheeks turned a deep red he wasn’t sure he’d seen on them before.

…That must be a good thing then, yeah? Probably?

“Erm.” She cleared her throat, fixing the heightened pitch of her voice — which was already pretty high-pitched, normally — before averting her eyes. After a beat she shyly met Piers’. Her gaze started to lower, as if on its own volition, but she rapidly snapped it back up to his face.

…Definitely, Piers concluded.

He flustered her.

This wasn’t one of those common instances where someone did something sweet or embarrassing to her, or where she did something sweet or embarrassing.

He put her in this state purely by looking the way he did.

And that felt fucking incredible to him.

Initially the realization had made him giddy. Then, as he registered that it could be absurdly fun to tease her about this — to tease her right now — his smile widened into something more mischievous. 

Max’s following compliment came out strained. She was fighting for her life to make herself look unaffected. 

(She was failing.)

“Looks good!”

Piers’ brows raised slightly as he flashed his fangs. “Y’think so?” 

“Ye— oooh,” she cut herself off with a whisper, noticing the prosthetics. She could practically feel herself short-circuiting as she tried to figure out what to say. Please stop staring at his teeth, please be normal about this, she begged herself before settling on, “Can you sing in those?”

“Eh…”

Piers looked up a little, tilting his head to either side while he weighed out whether it would be doable or not. While doing so, he began fidgeting the tip of his tongue against one of his pointed teeth. The simple movements of his mouth made Max gulp.

“Probably, but I might take ‘em out anyway.” 

“Hm.” Max slowly nodded, diverting her attention to the floorboards. She crossed her outstretched legs behind her, too. Something about shutting her thighs eased the tension growing between them.

Her overall reaction was all he needed to be way more confident in his attire. Cocky, even, just because it was Max. He cared more about her opinions of him than most other people’s. So, while she seemed to zone out, Piers quietly approached her bed, leaning his palms down onto the corner of it.

He wanted her attention. Wanted to see how many of her buttons he could push like this. He’d accepted his infatuation towards her by now, and to take advantage of the moment to see what kinds of reactions he could pull from her fueled his desires even further.

It made him feel a bit perverted, in a way. 

Was it perverted?

Whatever, it didn’t matter. It’s not like he was hurting her by having a little fun. He knew she’d speak up if he made her uncomfortable at any point. There was very little risk in messing around, and a high reward to be had.

Timidly, Max side-eyed Piers’ exposed form, bringing the collar of her hoodie to her chin — a makeshift hiding spot — before letting her head fully turn. Her heart stuttered at the intense look in Piers’ eyes. He was amused, clearly, given the faint smile that played on his lips while he gnawed the lower one, only one of his fangs visible; but more than that, he watched over her like a predator would its prey. 

He asked lowly, “You like it, then?”

God, yes— “Mhm,” Max nodded.

Piers noted the slight quiver in her breath, and swelling with pride, he continued, “How much?”

As the words came out, he gravitated to the foot of Max’s bed, slowly sinking onto his knees to meet her at eye level, no more than a foot away.

“Oh, um…”

Max looked down in an attempt to escape eye contact, only to realize she was openly staring at his torso. She honed in on his decorated hips for a short moment before blinking a few times, as if to wipe away her racing thoughts. She plastered her view onto his right arm.

“I… I don’t know.” She dropped her hold on her hoodie, then answered, “It’s a good look on you,” pulling a small section of hair over her shoulder to fidget with. As she twirled the brown and pink strands between her fingers, Piers noticed that her feet were kicking in place the slightest little bit.

“You sure? Seems like ya can’t even look at me while you say it,” he teased, lifting Max’s chin with his pointer and middle finger. 

She wanted to fucking die. To vanish from thin air and not have to deal with how pretty he was. How sexy he was. 

But there was no escape.

She could tell from his constant ghost of a smirk that he knew exactly what he was doing. Whether he simply enjoyed toying with her, or he knew he was absolutely melting her, she had no clue — whichever it was, though, it turned her on more than she could possibly begin to comprehend. 

Piers egged her on, her eyes widening a little as he leaned in closer, “I mean, I can tell you with full confidence that you make an adorable kitten.” He gestured his head towards her ears. 

Arc’s sake, please shut up, Max wanted to scold him, her heart threatening to beat its way out of her body. She wanted to close what little of a gap there was between them. To pounce on him. For him to do the same. Anything.  

“Well… I do mean it,” she answered once she was able to compose herself. “I’m just a little embarrassed, I guess,” Max admitted, with a breathy, nervous waver lingering in her voice.

Piers leaned forward again. “Why’s that?”

Max’s eyes flickered between Piers’ darkened eyes and his lips. “Don’t— erm, don’t you have to leave?”

He shook his head slightly. “I have plenty of time to grill ya if I want to.” His mouth formed into a toothy, meowth-like smile.

“Damn it,” she quietly laughed, looking down, now that Piers’ hold on her had slackened.

He promptly stole her back, tugging her view to his once more while he laughed with her. He thought she had such a pretty smile — especially when her face was so rosy. 

“Y’know, if I didn’t know any better…” he began to speculate as he nearly closed their gap. Their noses were just a few centimeters apart. Max seemed to be in a trance, her eyes following his mouth’s every move while it drew nearer. “I’d say it looks like you want me to kiss you or somethin’.”

Max’s eyes shot up to his while she nervously chewed the inside of her lip between her canines. She looked hopeful. Pleading. Desperate.  

Confident facade aside, Piers felt similarly. 

“…Do you want me to kiss you, Max?” Piers whispered. Despite the softness in its volume, his voice had an almost dangerous tone to it. 

It made Max gasp. She was putty in his hands.

Piers felt himself twitch in his pants at her barely-audible reaction. He wondered when else she’d ever make faces like these, when else she’d sigh such wistful little breaths. Simultaneously, she’d been wondering if this is the sort of demeanor he’d have in bed.

Unable to resist but feeling shy, she nodded the slightest bit. The motion would’ve been unnoticeable if you weren’t looking for it.

Piers was on her before she could even register that he’d obliged, eagerly holding her face and smashing his lips against hers. Her surprise manifested in a whimper and filled her with embarrassment while it drove Piers mad with lust.

Max rested a hand atop one of his while she struggled to pull herself up into a kneel. Her legs felt like jelly beneath her as she maneuvered herself to be sitting on the edge of her bed, her legs dangling on either side of Piers as she draped her arms around his neck. She rested one palm against the back of his head while the other gripped the fabric covering his opposite shoulder. 

Max wondered, as their lips and tongues ebbed and flowed, how such a simple costume could have made her so goddamn needy… and why did it seem to have the same effect on him? 

While Max was lost in thought and inebriated by Piers’ kisses, the man stood up, leaned his right palm onto the bed, and weaved his left fingers beneath Max’s loose mane to cup her nape. 

He encouraged her to lay back with nothing but the force of his lips, letting her decide whether or not to invite him closer. She subconsciously tightened her thighs against his hips as she complied, her body willing his to meet hers on its own volition; enticing his core towards hers as he hovered above her, his ponytail tickling her cheek and his breaths fanning her face each time their mouths unclasped. 

Max, knowing Piers could recreate his ponytail in an instant if he wanted to, tangled her fingers through the taught hair. She gripped onto it for dear life and leaned upward as if it would allow her to taste more of him, sighing into his mouth as he used his lips to pin her back down. 

Piers smiled against her, noting that she seemed to really like when he took control. It reminded him of a move he busted out during their first kiss, so he decided to recreate it. A little commemoration of sorts. He drifted his thumb to Max’s chin and — without warning, unlike last time — pulled her mouth open and held it there, leaving her powerless in terms of how long their tongues would be knotted together. 

Just like the first time, Max accidentally whined into his mouth. Just like the first time, Piers breathed out a laugh through his nose. He didn’t halt their connection this time, though, favoring twirling his tongue around hers over the prospect of teasing her. He did hum to express his satisfaction though.

If he heard correctly, Max whimpered again at his reaction, albeit near silently.

And he did hear correctly, but not for the reason he’d thought. Max definitely responded positively to his humming, but she was more so focused on the way he just took the reins and seemed to really enjoy it. She did too. Being teased, being bossed around a bit. Being at his will. All of it made her feel restless.

Max arched her back a little to be closer to Piers.

Piers gripped the curve of her hip and squeezed, firmly pressing his pelvis between her opened legs in tandem.

Max desperately tugged at Piers’ hair with one hand to pull him closer, and gently caressed his cheek with the other.

Piers bit Max’s lip, forgetting he had fangs equipped, and drew a little blood—

Oh. 

He pulled away and brought his hand to her cheek while he made sure she was okay.

She nodded. She kinda liked the pain. She didn’t tell him, but something about the hungry glint in her eye gave it away.

…Oooh!

Piers, with a smirk that met his eyes more than his lips, licked the blood away before stealing another open-mouthed kiss, and it was literally the hottest thing that had ever happened to Max.

This only lasted a few moments longer, both of them mourning the loss of each other’s lips the second they were apart. Still hovering over Max, Piers pulled his phone from his pocket to check the time. 

Their chests heaved as they stared at the rotom. They both knew he needed to leave, but Piers heavily considered canceling the show in favor of spending the night snogging Max’s face off. 

Fuck it… I can be late.

Piers gently tossed the device aside, letting it float down on its own, and dove back down. Max happily went along with it for a short while before feeling guilty. 

Damn it.  

“Mm–” she hummed against him, cupping his cheeks to gently nudge him away. “You’ve gotta go, no?”

Piers, while staring at Max’s swollen lips as if they were the most fascinating things he’d ever seen, sighed. “Don’t wanna.” He immediately dipped back down, a goofy grin curling his lips upward.

“What?” Max laughed, her nose scrunching up a bit as she stopped him from kissing her again. “I thought you loved Halloween shows specifically.” 

I love you more— “This is more fun.”

The sincerity in Piers’ voice, even if it was lighthearted and silly, had Max wanting him to cancel the show too. 

This was the perfect opportunity to poke fun at him, though. “Taking this whole incubus thing a bit seriously, no?” It wasn’t a complaint, but it had piqued her curiosity.

“Ha!” 

Max basked in Piers’ bright smile, feeling proud that she made him laugh, even if it wasn’t all that funny. Even if she always made him laugh.

Whatever. His laugh was cute and made her happy. That’s all that mattered.

Still grinning, Piers squinted at Max, readying an absolutely lethal blow. He nudged her nose with his, then let his lips ghost hers as he purred, “Why? Is it working?” 

Max, hypnotized, let her eyes drop to where their lips were nearly connected. She tilted her head up a tiny bit, but Piers pulled back, his smile widening. 

“Answer the question, love,” he taunted her before repeating the motions. “Am I seducing you?” He added a subtle nudge of his hips against her mid-sentence for emphasis. Max’s lip quivered as she swallowed back a moan before it could come out.

Max didn’t answer him. She didn’t want to lie, but there was no way in hell she was about to tell him how badly she yearned for him. 

Her silence spoke volumes. Piers, wanting to hit Max with one last razzle dazzle, kissed her again, letting his tongue lead the way after successfully propping her mouth open. It was sloppy, it was deep, it was so hot, and it snatched Max’s fucking soul out of her body — very in-character! — but it also ended way too soon for her liking.

Piers concluded darkly after a moment of silence, “Very good to know,” before standing upright. 

Half of him hoped his bulge wasn’t too noticeable.

Only half.

Max definitely saw something, but knew that if she lingered on it for too long, she’d be begging him to stay home, and to give up all restraint and rules and whatever, and to just fuck her senseless instead — so, she did her best to act like it wasn’t there.

“B-but I didn’t even answer you,” she weakly pointed out as Piers pulled out his messy ponytail, promptly fixing it back up into something tidier. 

“But you didn’t deny it,” he winked at her, “and that’s all the confirmation I need.” 

Satisfied with the havoc he’d wreaked, Piers grabbed his phone and made his way towards the door. 

“Huh?” Max squeaked.

Piers met her eyes over his shoulder. “Byeee,” he sang… And he decided on a whim to snipe her one last time. “Try not to have too much fun without me.”

Max was speechless at the implications there as Piers shut the door behind himself. The man was now grinning like a doofus, knowing that he affected Max so immensely, even if it was just this once — at least to his knowledge.

He went into her room initially expecting an honest opinion, then to either hang out a little, or to work on improving his look. Maybe both, if she wanted to help. 

Instead, he was handed some confidence on a silver platter in the form of Max blushing and whimpering for him. Fidgeting because of him. Visibly yearning for him. 

He felt like a million bucks — like he was unstoppable. He was about to put on the best show of his career. He could just feel it.

Max, on the other hand, was stuck staring at the door, completely dumbfounded.

…What the fuck just happened?

[negative-speedforce]

🐱 for Meredith and Jay :)

1: If they're a light or heavy sleeper:

Meredith is the lightest of sleepers, due to her unusual upbringing, she isn't able to sleep that well.

Jay's a fairly heavy sleeper, but not so much that an alarm can't wake him up.

2: What they would do if they won the lottery right now:

Meredith would pay to have a monument built in honor of its dead predecessors/siblings and use the rest to have her speech to text/text to speech system upgraded.

Jay would quit his job (and Cassandra would likely quit hers), and they would buy a house out in the middle of nowhere, retire, and start a family together.

3: If they have a special item that they couldn't bear to lose:

Meredith doesn't really tie much value to physical objects, but she'd be quite heartbroken if it were to lose its glasses, which have a hidden speech-to-text/text-to-speech system in them.

Jay has a recording of Gina's last concert saved to his old phone, which he keeps in a safe deposit box with his valuables because it's the last thing he has of his best friend.

4: One negative personality trait of theirs:

Meredith is extremely pragmatic, to the point of apathy.

Jay is a bit of a pushover, and he has people-pleasing tendencies.

5: Their favorite 70s song:

Meredith is completely deaf, so it doesn't really like most '70s music, since most of it isn't bass-heavy enough for her to feel it. However, she's a sucker for Earth, Wind, and Fire's "Let's Groove", mostly because it can actually feel the beat and also because Libertdad, Meredith's guardian, loves that song.

Jay loves anything by Diana Ross and ABBA. It may be kind of basic, but he loves Dancing Queen by ABBA and it's one of his favorite songs of all time.

6: The color(s) associated with their zodiac:

Meredith is a Cancer, so white

Jay is a Gemini, so light green and yellow

7: Their favorite comedy movie:

Meredith is a sucker for the Rocky Horror Picture Show, she loves just how absurd and gruesome it is.

Jay really likes Night at the Museum. Even though it's kinda corny, he still absolutely adores it.

8: About one person they've lost:

Meredith is the seventh of Eobard Thawne's experiments, so she lost all her predecessors/siblings, something that she blames itself for, despite being only the equivalent of a seven-year-old when she escaped him.

Jay lost his best friend, Siv, in his senior year of high school, right after his other best friend, Gina, was murdered. Siv's death shook him up far more than he lets on, leading to him becoming extremely protective of them when she's resurrected.

9: A quote I associate with them:

"I'm an object in motion, I've lost all emotion/My two legs are broken, but look at me dance/An object in motion, don't ask where I'm going/'Cause where I am goin' is right where I am" -Inertia, AJR

"So keep your head up high, head up high and/Don't stop - you and I, you and I have/History in our hands, starlight on our side/Lean into it, promise we can let it ride and I will/Hold you near/Everything I know: I only need you here" -Quiet Now, Oh Geeez

10: If they're a lover or a fighter:

Meredith is 50/50, she's definitely slightly more of a fighter, but it does it for the people that she loves.

Jay's definitely more of a lover, but if someone he cares about is in danger, he will in fact fuck you up.

[echoes-lighthouse]

2 and 4 for your chaos iwtv polycule ask game please!! I'm so excited to hear all the lore 👀👀

*happy wiggles* thank you baby I love you so much and thank you for hearing my rough draft at 2am before I made the original post lmao

2- do you and your f/o share any hobbies? what are they? do you see one another as rivals, collaborators, something else? 4- where are your favorite places to go with your f/o? what's your favorite part of that place, or the time you spend together there?

I feel like my answers to most of these are intertwined, so I'm going to answer them both for each character!

Gabrielle: We share everything! She hasn't really kept up on literature for about fifty years, but she scooped me out of an English Degree with a focus on Modern/World War Literature, so we get to catch up on all of that. She likes to explore: her favourite places are high up and quiet and away from humans. When I was still human, he would sometimes carry me to those places in her arms or on her back, but now we can run there together! Those are my favourite : sometimes he wants me to read to him, and sometimes he wants to explore in silence. Sometimes I come with him and sometimes I sit under a tree and read alone, and wait for him to come back to me... so far, he always does.

Lestat: Whereas I usually spend time away from humans with Gabrielle, I spend time with them when I'm with Lestat: bars and concerts and theatre performances. We're not the best theatre companions, since we often don't overlap in our enjoyment, but we go together anyways, and argue afterwards. Which neither of us enjoys. We should really stop going out together. It's better when we stay in and he plays something for me himself, then we both have fun. We also have a lot of fun hunting together, we have compatible styles there.

Louis: Ugh. Not really. I don't like how he treats art as an investment, instead of an end in itself. Often our tastes overlap, but I'm too busy being mad about the way he assesses value to appreciate the fact that he has aesthetic opinions as well. At least we enjoy a lot of the same movies, and we're the two who get into a three-hour discussion after the movie about the Themes (tm). We don't go out together, we're a homebody kind of duo.

Armand: Now, this is someone I can have a good time with at an art gallery. Both of us connect to art on a more emotional level, and I like to go with him and chat about the different eras and mythology. It's not the best thing for him emotionally, but I'm having a great time, so I don't really care. I like Armand less when he's stable, anyways. He's easier to needle when he's a little between the past and present.

Daniel: We eventually figure out that both of us like to bother the others and see what we get out of it, so we start teaming up occasionally. I read a couple of his books and ask him a bunch of questions about his experiences: it's a bit refreshing for him to not have someone digging straight into the worst parts of his life, so we end up having good chats about both of our lives. I text him memes from the other room while he's trying to focus on the interview with the other two.

[punkinvsblogging]

I still have about two weeks left in China, but I just got very sad all of a sudden thinking about how I have to leave all of the nice people I met at all of the Fall Out Boy shows. All of the gatherings and stuff were pretty exhausting for me, but some of those fans were so nice and really went above and beyond for me. Some people would call my name from far away or approach me at the meetups. Sometimes, I would be IN THE VENUE, and someone would yell my name from up high in the stands or run up to me. I would ask them if they ordered a bracelet from me because I couldn’t imagine why else strangers would want to come up to me and talk to me looking so excited. But some of them told me they just wanted to say hi. (⋟﹏⋞) I wanna cry just thinking about it lol

Since 2ourdust started, I’ve been told that maybe I’m just not meant for fan culture, and that might be true, but I have never had any experience like this at a Fall Out Boy show before, and I don’t know if I ever will.

The last time I saw a Fall Out Boy show in China in 2018, I went alone and had a great time because I love Fall Out Boy. I always love seeing Fall Out Boy play Fall Out Boy songs at the Fall Out Boy show. I also always prefer to go alone because I don’t like sharing that experience with others. I think I feel like I can’t let go or something, and just being around other people makes me feel anxious sometimes. I don’t see that changing, but some of these people were so sweet to me and really helped make this the best Fall Out Boy concert experience ever. It has been very hard, and I have risked a lot to come here. I don’t know how the rest of this trip will go, but I am so so glad I came back to China, and now I am genuinely stressed trying to figure out what kind of job I can get that will allow me to take a month off work to go to China and do this again next year lol

This was just meant to be a couple of sentences, and then more happened lol I am sleepy, so idk if this made a lot of sense but TL;DR There are very many wonderful Fall Out Boy fans in China, and I hope I get the opportunity to come back and do this again. 🇨🇳💗

[seancamerons]

Talk about Paige singing "Poor Thing" to Dean

“You'll never believe the nightmares, you'll never know the pain you caused.🎶

Let’s talk about 2.08 Shout part 2 mainly the moment Paige sings a poor thing to Dean requested lovingly by ashton (maya-matlin)!

So before the episode, our protagonist Paige was a different kind of girl, to say the least. We set the stage and mood. Paige was forever changed practically overnight for better and for worse this marks the rise of Paige.

Ashley’s poem 'poor thing' awoke something in Paige. It made her feel seen and felt. Despite being about something different it felt relatable and somewhat comforting. She resonated and played a big role in Ash’s pain. Earlier, Ashley had humiliated Paige (and let's be real: her own damn self) at the party in jagged little pill (1.15) by mid-season s2 in shout 1 and 2, they weren't best friends anymore and distant from one another. Ashley was far off on the outskirts with a new best friend Ellie and a new look to boot. Before long the cathartic poem Ashley had penned took on a whole new meaning.

As for PMS (Paige Michalchuk and the sex kittens), the lineup included Terri, Hazel (Spice), Paige, and Ashley. It was a miracle they made it happen between friction between Terri and Paige at rehearsals, tone-deaf Hazel’s surprise case of polyps, the lyrics debacle, and other mishaps the new and improved PMS finally took the stage.

PMS led by Ashley who was prepped on keyboards and ready for the solo, what could possibly go wrong? Enter Dean. Paige freezes and turns to Ashley for support, and lets her know she can't perform and that he is here watching the concert. Ashley is initially surprised when Paige starts acapella, by speaking the first words of the poem and eventually turns to face the audience and her perp with a strum of the guitar. She was going to destroy him. 

Paige was also supported by Terri on background vocals and bass and Hazel on tambourine. I guess no one was on drums. (Just wanted to point out, Ellie 'suddenly' had a talent for percussion in season 5 'playing for her whole life' My ass! Obviously, her secret drum talent only exists bc of Craig 🙄 just kidding. However, when PMS rebranded as hell hath no fury in rock and roll high school a year later, she took on the bass. I'll be chalking it up to writers with selective memory, a retcon, and plot convenience. or some unfortunate continuity error. Missed opportunity.)

Important to note, she is singing directly at Dean, and it's satisfying to the audience and most likely Paige herself. I believe she was empowered by this, it was closure and her way of triumphing over him and what he had done to her and she used Ashley's lyrics which she had fought so hard to change. It was the best possible outcome of a power play. I couldn't be more proud of Paige and her ability to wield her power and influence. It is up Paige’s alley to do such a thing, but she used her powers this time for good as opposed to petty influence towards Hazel and Terri, and even Ashley at times. This marks a new era for Ms. Michalchuk, and we love to see it. This drives her to significantly grow and experience some major character development. It is awesome. This definitely holds up, it becomes cathartic and so pretty genius props to the writers for this. Embarrassed and humiliated publicly, the 'strong' 'emotionally challenged' Dean cowardly leaves like a dog, defeated with his tail between his legs. I spy the blind lady on the judge's panel she really seemed to enjoy the performance. Two men were seen rocking out beside her. I guess Big Bad bully Dean wasn't made of stone. He displays a semblance of blank and possible regret. He likely thought his presence would intimidate Paige but it only proved to empower her. 

Ellie was a spectator to this performance and later offered her support to Paige at school. Although Poor Thing was cited as an honorable mention, she thought PMS was robbed. They were, let’s be real. Now I take this time to note, it's unclear why Ellie the next season wasn't so keen or nice to Paige such as in s3 a whisper to a scream when they were 100% rivals. It is nice and refreshing to see Ellie and Paige being cordial and not exchanging petty blows, cheap shots, and snide remarks like they typically do. While they won't be caught dead braiding each other's hair or going for mani-pedis, their relationship is at best conditionally chummy, with the occasional hints and moments of friendship scattered through. I'm not sure how they handled being roommates later on in life. Poor Marco was likely the mediator and peacemaker between the frenemies. He was a saint, God bless! Although sometimes Ellie and Paige surprised us as an audience such as with the bacon-y kiss in s7 and some heart-to-hearts when it counted. They had come so far in their evershifting dynamics. 

Ashley deserves a medal for not being well, typical Ash, and making things about herself and instead stepping out from the spotlight for Paige to shine center stage. She also displayed genuine compassion for Paige as she embraced her and consoled her by the lockers when she told her what had happened, and why she felt so strongly about the lyrics in so many words. Sometimes they're too alike in their stubborn and hard-headed ways, unable to back down even when they’re dead wrong. However, despite what had happened between her and Paige over the last few months she didn't hold it against her and they buried the hatchet and even became friends again.

As Paige makes her way to Sauve's office she seems optimistic and ready to talk. </cue freeze frame. 👏 👏 👏 

The end. Thank you for the ask. 💌