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demusewriter · 2 months ago

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I Loved You Too Early

Summary: You've been admiring the captain of the prominent football team in your school, whom you secretly admiring from afar. You thought he was out of your reach until you saw him studying in your brother's room. Genre: brother's best friend, slow-burn Pairing: Non-idol! Jungwon x Fem! Reader Word count: Part II: 14,297 (Overall: 26,179k) Chapters: 10 (Completed) (divided in two parts) Warnings: This is heavily inspired by the Chinese drama 'Hidden Love' so, there's a big resemblance, age gap (5 years difference), unrequited love, a little bit of sprinkle of angst, fluff, time skip, just a teeny-weeny bit of fist fighting (but not too much!), and not solid proof-read because its too long (╥﹏╥). Author's Note: Thank you for patiently reading my story! I’m glad you’re still with me through the second part, despite how long it’s gotten (≧∇≦). I really appreciate you taking the time to enjoy my work. I hope you enjoyed it! (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

Please don’t forget to support ENHYPEN and the members in their projects as well. Let's show them the love and appreciation we have on their crafts. ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

Enjoy, and maybe I'll see you again next year? (˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵) Haha!

PART I PART II

Chapter Six

Amidst the chatter of the crowd and the rhythmic pulse of music drifting from nearby venues, you find yourself enveloped in the energy of the night.

Tonight feels different, a subtle shift in the air that whispers of newfound freedom and possibilities.

For the first time, you find yourself standing amidst the crowded club, a cocktail in hands, embracing the intoxicating energy of the night as you celebrate along with your friends the milestone of entering your senior year of college.

As you glance around taking in the sights and sounds of the bustling club scene, you can't help but wonder how much has changed.

Ever since your move to the other city after getting accepted to your dream University, you started to learn to become independent which slowly shaped you into adulthood with each passing day.

As you watch your friends lose themselves in the rhythm of the music, you can't help but realize how time flies so fast.

It seems like yesterday you were a freshman, and now, you're already in your final year of college.

You shook your head with a soft smile as you put down your drink.

You look at your friends one last time before you sneak your way outside of the club to get some fresh air.

Stepping outside, you were greeted by the breathtaking sight of the city skyline glowing with lights, a mesmerizing contrast to the dimly lit interior of the club.

Leaning against the railing, you let out a deep breath, allowing the cool night air to soothe your senses. You lean your head down on your arms, which rest on the railing, and drown yourself in admiring the city lights.

The mesmerizing glow of the city lights illuminates another pair of eyes, making it look like there's a stars twinkle in their eyes.

With his arms leaning over the railing, he gently swirls the glass of champagne in his hands before bringing it to his lips for a sip.

Jungwon can't help but nod to the taste of champagne which leaves a refreshing sensation that lingers on his tongue.

He was supposed to be inside of the club enjoying the celebration of his friend's promotion but the noise was too much for him that he found the balcony as his temporary refuge from the chaos inside.

As his eyes went back to the city skyline, his head were once again flooded with loneliness.

It's been five years since he decided to move to another city to pursue his dreams, and despite achieving them and even reaching more than he expected, there is still a nagging emptiness in his soul that casts a shadow over his triumphs.

The success he had worked so hard for felt hallow, leaving him questioning whether the sacrifices he had made truly worth it or if he had taken a wrong turn somewhere along the way.

It feels like something is missing that leaves a huge void inside of him.

As Jungwon's gaze wandered into the big city skyline that screamed mockery at his loneliness, his eyes traced the twinkling lights of the cityscape until they fell upon a figure standing five meters beside him.

Jungwon's felt his heart pound so hard for the first time as he watched her looking at the same city skyline with her head cradled in her arms in the railing with a same gentle smile that he used to adore in the past.

He can't believe that after so many years, he was now able to see some familiar face back in his hometown.

"Y/n?"

A familiar voice broke through your reverie, calling out your name with a hint of disbelief.

Startled, you glance at your side, searching for the source of the voice that had called out to you.

Your gaze settled on the figure meters away, and as you squinted to get a better look, a subtle beat stirred inside your chest.

As recognition dawned on you, your heart finally quickened its pace, its rhythm echoing a familiar tune that you haven't felt for five long years.

With each beat, the sensation grew stronger, enveloping you in a wave of nostalgia.

It was a rhythm so deeply ingrained, so unmistakably familiar, that despite the passage of time, you felt it once again, coursing through your veins like a rediscovered melody from the past.

After all those years, he is the only one that continues to stir your heart with this much intensity.

Standing beneath the glow of the city lights, he exuded an aura of masculinity that seemed to draw everyone's eyes effortlessly.

His once-boyish features had transformed into a striking display of manliness, with a jawline so sharp it could cut through the night air with ease

The black polo that he was wearing perfectly hugged his broad shoulders, accentuating every muscle beneath.

At that moment, it was as if time stood still, the world around you fading into the background as you found yourself captivated with disbelief.

"Jungwon?"

The simple sound of his name on your lips sends a rush of warmth flooding through him, igniting a smile that stretches across Jungwon's face in disbelief.

It's new that you didn't call him with the honorifics that you used to call him before yet it was the least of his problem—it's the fact that it's you, someone he hasn't seen in what feels like an eternity, who has spoken it.

"Yeah. It's me, Y/n," he softly said "It's been a long time"

His eyes sparkle with joy as he responds, and you can't help but feel a pang in your heart at the sight.

How is it that after purposely ghosting him for years, he still finds happiness in seeing you?

"Yeah, it is," you murmur, averting your eyes as guilt slowly consumes your soul. "How are you?"

"Everything's fine," Jungwon leans on the railing looking at the cityscape with a faint smile "although a little bit lonely for being away in home"

You nodded, clasping your hands behind your back. You anxiously chewed on the inside of your cheek, feeling the weight of awkward silence settling the atmosphere.

Your conflicted thoughts race through your mind on what to say next, wondering if you should apologize or stay silent.

As if Jungwon could read your mind, he broke through your reverie.

"You don't have to worry about anything, Y/n," his eyes find yours again, this time with more gentleness on it, making your heart beat a little faster. "I understand, you might have your own reason"

Despite the course of time, Jungwon remained unchanged. He was still the same person you remembered—understanding, reassuring, and everything you had once fallen in love with.

"Although, you owe me a dinner for all the lost time we haven't seen each other," he teasingly says with a mischievous glint in his eyes, matching it with a playful smirk.

Your eyes went wide, taken aback by what he said.

You spoke too soon; he's now become playful.

Jungwon's eyes formed into a crescent moon as he chuckles at your reaction.

"Sorry, I can't help but tease you. It's really been a long time since I've talked to someone I know from back home," he said, tucking his hands into his neatly ironed dark pants and leaning his back against the railing. "Besides your brother, of course."

"You still in contact with Riki-niisan?" You ask in surprise.

"We never lost contact with each other. I never knew your brother could be clingy" He joked, making you smile. "I also found out from him that you moved to this city to study"

His eyes found yours again, and as you looked into them, a hint of sadness reflected back at you, instantly making you feel like your heart dropped.

"I've been wanting to get in touch with you, but I'm afraid you might not want to talk to me."

As you continue to look into Jungwon's eyes, the regrets succeed in clouding not only your mind but also your heart.

Regrets about the times you had a chance back then to make up with him, thinking that if you had just been capable of handling your emotions instead of avoiding him and projecting your feelings onto him, there wouldn't be this series of "what if's" that has built in your mind.

But because of how childishly you handled the situation, you ended up hurting the person who had only pure intentions, and now he is doubting whether he was the problem when it was you to blame.

"Jungwon, I—"

"Y/n," your words were suddenly cut off when you heard one of your friends call you, her face showing signs of tiredness.

"I think we need to go home; Soo-ah is too wasted," she sighed, shaking her head as if she was stressed about something.

You peeked inside the club, trying to find the rest of your friends from the balcony. As you caught a glimpse of them, you couldn't help but feel worried.

The scene where one of your friends swaying side to side, raising a bottle of champagne, and shouting colorful words at the top of her lungs, is enough for you to end the night.

However, you were snapped back to reality when you realized Jungwon was still there with you on the balcony.

As you looked at him, he already had his arms crossed over his chest, still leaning on the railing. His eyes were on you, and a small, wistful smile played on his lips, carrying a hint of understanding.

"Go ahead, it's getting late," he said with a nod, gesturing for you to follow your friend, who was still standing by the sliding door, waiting for you to join her and go home.

Not wanting to bother your friend any further, as she looked exhausted, you nodded at him and proceeded to follow your friend to the rest of the girls to pack up.

As you walked away from the balcony, it felt like each step was stamping on your heart, making a cracking noise and echoing another layer of guilt that piled up in your heart.

You closed your eyes and clutched your chest, trying to soothe the pain you were feeling.

"What if this is the final chance?"

Your steps came to a halt.

"What if this is the last?"

As if your body took over, you turned around and ran back to the balcony with a pounding heart.

Maybe you acted like a child for ignoring him for years, thinking he might have moved on and forgotten about it, but you were so wrong.

Meeting him tonight, felt like fate had a reason.

"Jungwon!" you called. You found him still in the same position but now looking up at the sky with his eyes closed.

Those gorgeous eyes found yours once again, wide from hearing his name exclaimed by you.

"Let's do it," you said, still catching your breath. Jungwon frowned, dumbfounded by your words.

"Let's get dinner to catch up," you continued, the words slipped in your mouth feel like a weight you had been carrying for five years, slightly lifted, making you genuinely smile. "My treat."

At that moment, not only did your heart feel like it could finally breathe from the chains of guilt that caged you, but also the man who had been wishing to meet you could finally gather the courage to ask about the things he did that made you avoid him and formally apologize for it.

With a soft smile, he uttered words that came straight from his heart.

"I'm looking forward to it, Y/n"

Chapter Seven

Sometimes, it feels like the universe adores you, bestowing blessings that you don't always feel you deserve. Sure, life isn't as easy as it seems in the movies, but with the universe blessing you with people who become your strong support system, life becomes bearable.

However, just as much as the universe adores you, it can also seem to curse you with its worst imaginable trials. It felt like the universe was in that state with you when a realization dawned on you.

How can you keep the dinner that you promise when you have no means to contact Jungwon?

You slammed your head onto the open book placed in your desk with the rest of your study materials creating a loud thud. You groaned at your stupidity.

This realization have been bugging you for days.

You were ready to give Jungwon the details about the dinner you planned, but as you scrolled through your contacts, a sudden lightning bolt of awareness struck you.

You had deleted his number a long time ago.

You stomped your feet in frustration, you thought studying will help you ignore this feeling but it wasn’t working well for you.

"Still thinking about it?"

With your head still resting on the desk, you turned your head towards the sound of a voice and saw Eunhee standing in the doorway, a plastic bag in one hand and the other resting on her waist.

"Okaeri" you lifelessly greet.

After graduating high school, you and Eunhee decided to apply to the same university and, miraculously, both passed the entrance exam.

Her presence was one of the reasons your parents felt comfortable letting you move to another city for your studies; knowing someone would be there to accompany you gave them peace of mind.

"Tadaima" she greets back with a smile.

You and Eunhee had been roommates ever since freshman year, sharing both the challenges and joys of college life together, including the history you had with Jungwon.

The first time you told her about it, you got hit in the head, delivering a much-needed reality check.

She scolded you for how poorly you handled the situation, insisting that if you had told her sooner, she would have knocked some senses into you to prevent it from happening.

You couldn't help but agree and wish you had confided in her back then.

"I told you, just contact your brother; he surely has Jungwon's number" Eunhee suggested.

You knew she was right. It was an obvious solution to simply ask your brother, especially since Jungwon had mentioned they were still in contact.

It was an easy fix, a straightforward way to solve your problem. Yet, for some reason, it felt incredibly difficult for you.

The thought of reaching out to your brother and admitting that you needed Jungwon's number was daunting. It made you confront the reality of your past actions and the lingering feelings of guilt and regret.

Despite knowing it was the simplest way forward, the emotional weight of the situation made it seem far from easy.

Now, lying in your bed, you stared at your brother's message inbox. You typed out comprehensive sentences, trying to find the right words to ask for Jungwon's number, only to delete them repeatedly.

The task should have been simple, but each attempt felt like an impossible hurdle. The more you tried, the more the words eluded you, as if the gravity of the situation rendered you unable to reach out for the help you needed.

With a heavy sigh, you finally gave up and turned off your phone, placing it on your bedside table.

Ready to accept defeat and let sleep take you away from your misery, you closed your eyes.

Just as you began to drift off, your phone chimed with a notification. You reached for your phone again and squinted to the sudden brightness of the screen.

"Hi, it's Jungwon. I hope you haven't forgotten the dinner you promised ;)"

The content of the message nearly made you jump out of bed, totally erasing any trace of sleep from your mind.

The message took you aback, making you question if it was really him, as it was a mystery how he had gotten your number.

And with a wink emoji?!

It was all so new to you that it took a while to gather your thoughts and reply.

"Is it really you, Jungwon?"

As if he was waiting for your reply, he responded almost instantly.

"Yeah, it's me~"

You let out a gasp, covering your mouth in disbelief when he sent you a selfie. He was lying on his bed, wearing a black shirt with his hair visibly wet from the shower.

He was dashingly handsome.

The sight of him was enough to make your face turn as red as a tomato and cause your brain to short-circuit, rendering you completely speechless.

"I got your number from your brother when you started studying here. He insisted I have it in case of an emergency. I'm glad I kept it."

His message left you in a daze. All those years, he had your number?

The realization hit you hard, for all this time, the means to contact him had been right there, and he had known how to reach you?

The thought of him having your number all these years sent a whirlwind of emotions through you, from shock to a bittersweet.

"I've always wanted to reach out," Jungwon admitted. "But I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me."

His words words made your heart swell with emotion. You felt a mix of guilt, relief, and a new kind of happiness. You realized that despite the years of silence, he had always kept a piece of you with him, waiting for the right moment.

"Thank you for reaching out, Jungwon," you finally replied. You bit your lip, nervous about the next message you wanted to send, something you had been wanting to say to him for a very long time.

"I've missed you."

With shaky hands, you quickly typed the next message to divert his attention from the first one.

"And yes, the dinner is still up. Are you free next Friday night?"

As you sat there, staring at your phone, with all the details being set for the upcoming dinner, you felt a sudden shift within you.

The regret and guilt began to fade, replaced by hopeful anticipation. You knew that this was a second chance, a moment to reconnect and rebuild what had been lost.

For the first time in a long while, you felt a genuine sense of happiness.

This time, you were determined to make the right choices.

Chapter Eight

The morning sun streamed through the curtains, gently waking you from a restless sleep. The sudden feeling of significant weighed heavily on your mind.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Today was the day of your dinner with Jungwon.

Rising from bed, you went through your morning routine with a sense of purpose. This wasn’t just any day; it was a chance to make things right.

After a quick shower, you wrapped yourself in a towel and stood in front of your closet, contemplating your outfit. You wanted to look perfect, not just for Jungwon, but for yourself—an expression of the new beginning you were stepping into.

Next, you moved to your vanity, carefully applying makeup that enhanced your natural beauty. A bit of eyeliner, a touch of blush, and a swipe of your favorite lipstick completed the look.

You wanted to present the best version of yourself, one that reflected the changes you had undergone over the years.

Satisfied with your appearance, you slipped into a pair of comfortable yet stylish shoes and gave yourself a final once-over in the mirror. You felt a surge of confidence and a sense of readiness to face whatever the evening might bring.

With everything in place, you grabbed your purse and checked your phone for any messages from Jungwon. Seeing none, you took a deep breath, allowing a wave of calm to wash over you.

Today was about seizing the moment and embracing the second chance you had been given.

When the time finally arrived, you felt a sudden mix of excitement and nervousness as you entered the restaurant.

You took a seat at the table you had reserved, heart brimming with hope as you awaited Jungwon's arrival.

Or so you thought would happen.

You nervously swirled the third juice you had ordered with the straw, eyes constantly darting outside and then back to your phone, waiting for a notification. Thirty minutes had passed since you arrived, and there was still no sign of Jungwon. Restlessness began to seep in, and doubts started to creep into your mind.

"Just thirty more minutes," you told yourself. "He'll come."

Yet as the minutes ticked by, Jungwon was still nowhere to be found. You tried to convince yourself that he hadn’t intentionally ditched you, reasoning that perhaps he had forgotten since you hadn’t notified him today or given him a heads-up that you were already at the meeting spot.

Sighing in defeat, you felt a lump forming in your throat, tears threatening to spill. Gathering your things, you decided to leave, hoping that some ice cream might help soothe the growing sadness in your chest.

As you left the restaurant, your phone rang. Despite not being in the mood to talk to anyone, you still answered, seeing it was your brother.

"Nini?" you tried to casually greet Ni-ki, masking the sadness in your tone.

"Are you free tonight?" he asked. You were about to decline, assuming he was about to pull one of his usual stunts, flying over to visit you as if it were just a short trip instead of thousands of miles away.

You really weren’t in the mood for his crazy antics. But his next words stopped you in your tracks.

"Can you check on Jungwon? He hasn't been answering his phone since yesterday."

The sadness and frustration that had boiled inside you as you exited the restaurant evaporated in an instant, replaced by concern and agitation as you stood in front of Jungwon's apartment door.

Ni-ki had given you directions to Jungwon's place, asking you to check on him after he'd become unresponsive. Your brother wanted to do it himself, but work had him tied up, leaving you with the task.

"Jungwon?" you called out after ringing the doorbell.

No response.

You tried again, but just like the first time, silence greeted you from the other side. Your worry intensified, and you began chewing the inside of your cheek anxiously.

Glancing at one of your brother's messages, you carefully entered the passcode for Jungwon's apartment that Ni-ki had provided.

The door clicked open after you entered the passcode, and as you turned the knob, the trembling in your hand was a clear sign of your nervousness.

You had no idea what you were about to see behind that door, and the fear of finding something horrible gnawed at you. Images from the countless crime documentaries you had binge-watched replayed in your mind, making you gulp.

You pushed the door open slowly, and immediately, the darkness inside greeted you. Cold sweat formed on your forehead as you hesitated.

This was exactly how things started in horror movies!

With a swift motion, you swung the door wide open and frantically searched for the light switch, tapping the wall until, by some miracle, you found it. The lights flickered on, and you let out a sigh of relief as you scanned the room, finding nothing unusual.

You called for Jungwon again, but still, no response. Your phone was still clutched in your hand, already open to the call app, ready to dial for help if needed. Your heart raced as you faced another door.

Jungwon's room.

You knocked once more, calling his name, but it was the same as before—silence. Slowly, you opened the door, bracing yourself for what lay inside. The room was dark, but with the lights from the hallway spilling in, you quickly spotted Jungwon lying on his bed, wrapped in a thick blanket.

Rushing to his side, you immediately noticed he was drenched in sweat, his breath labored and pained. You pressed your palm to his forehead, and the burning heat of his skin confirmed what your instincts had already told you.

Jungwon hadn’t missed your dinner out of spite or to get back at you.

He couldn’t come because he was sick.

Somehow, knowing this brought a sense of peace to your heart.

The room seemed to swirl and twist as Jungwon slowly opened his eyes to a blurry world. His head throbbed with each heartbeat, and though his body was consumed by an insatiable heat, he felt cold to the bone.

As consciousness slowly seeped back into him, the realization struck—he was burning up with fever. Struggling to focus his blurred vision on the ceiling above him, fragments of memory began to return.

He was supposed to have dinner with you.

The thought hit him like an ice-cold bucket of water, sending a shiver down his spine that was ten times colder than the fever raging through his body.

Jungwon had felt under the weather the day before, but he had brushed it off, determined to finish his work. Even though he had felt worse earlier, he convinced himself that a little rest would set him right. He had been looking forward to tonight's dinner so much that he ignored the signs. But as the day wore on, his condition only worsened until he was now bedridden.

Panic surged through him as he tried to sit up, imagining you sitting alone at the restaurant, thinking he had abandoned you. But a wave of dizziness hit him, forcing him back down onto the bed. He closed his eyes in frustration, unable to bear the thought of you drowning in negative thoughts, believing he had stood you up.

He needed to get to you, even if it meant pushing through the fever and dealing with the consequences of his stubbornness.

As Jungwon gathered his strength to make another attempt to rise, he flinched when something cool and damp touched his forehead. His eyes snapped open, and he was greeted by the sight of your gentle face, leaning over him as you carefully wiped his forehead.

Jungwon blinked, struggling to process the sight of you beside him. The cool cloth in your hand was a stark contrast to the feverish heat radiating from his skin. He opened his mouth to speak, but his throat was dry and scratchy, and only a faint croak escaped.

"Shh," you whispered, your voice soothing. "Don't try to talk."

Your gentle tone, combined with the sight of your concerned eyes, made something inside Jungwon twist with emotion. He hadn't seen you this close in what felt like forever, and the reality of you being here, taking care of him, was overwhelming.

Your touch was calming, a balm to the chaotic storm of thoughts and fever plaguing him. He felt guilty—guilty for worrying you, for not being able to show up like he had promised. But the guilt was slowly being replaced by something else, something he couldn't name as he watched you care for him.

"I tried..." he began again, his voice cracking. "I didn't want you to think.."

"I know," you said softly, cutting him off. "I know you didn't stand me up on purpose."

He wanted to apologize, to explain how much it had meant to him, how much he had looked forward seeing you again. But the words wouldn't come out right, and the exhaustion tugging at him was too strong.

Instead, he just watched you, his eyes heavy but refusing to close, afraid that if he blinked, you might disappear.

As he looked like you, he had noticed something in you that he failed to realized when he first saw you at the club.

You had changed.

Gone was the carefree, youthful face he remembered from before. Now, your features had matured, carrying a grace and poise that hadn't been there before.

The roundness of your cheeks had given at to a more defined structure, your eyes still held the same warmth but with the depth that spoke of experiences lived and lessons learned. There was a quiet strength in the way you moved, in the way you cared for him, that he hadn't noticed before.

You were beautiful.

Not just in the way he had always known, but in a way that took his breath away. The realization stirred something deep within him, an unfamiliar feeling that made his heart beat in a different, almost unsteady rhythm.

The longer he continue staring at your face, his vision slowly turning blurry with only your angelic face being in the focus. It feels like every blink there's slowly a heart shapes one by one appearing, floating around you.

'It's just the fever,' he told himself, trying to push the feeling down. His thoughts were muddled, and he knew better than to trust them when he was this sick.

But even as he told himself this, his eyes couldn't stop tracing your features, his heart couldn't stop its erratic rhythm. The sight of you like this, so close, so caring, was doing things to him—things he hadn't expected, things he wasn't prepared for.

It made him uneasy, yet at the same time, he felt drawn to it, to you.

"Jungwon?" Your voice broke through his thoughts, soft and concerned.

He blinked, realizing that he's been staring, his heart still thudding painfully in his chest. "I-I'm okay," he croaked, though he wasn't sure if he was saying it to reassure you or himself.

You gave him a small, understanding smile, one that made his heart twist in that strange, unfamiliar way again. "You should rest," you said gently, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. "You need to get better."

Jungwon nodded, though his thoughts were far from restful. As he closed his eyes, he couldn't shake the image of you from his mind, couldn't stop the way his heart was responding to your presence.

He tried to ignore it, tried to convince himself that it was nothing, just the fever messing with his head.

But deep down, he knew better.

As he drifted back into a fitful sleep, one thought lingered in his mind: you had changed,

so had his feelings.

Chapter Nine

Jungwon never felt a relief in his entire life as he open his eyes from a good sleep. He lay there for a moment, letting the stillness of the morning settle over him, before finally pushing himself up, testing his strength.

After a sleepless night and days of feeling weak, the fever finally broken leaving him feeling lighter, almost like he was waking up from a long, hazy dream.

He stretched, feeling the tightness in his muscles, but it was the good kind—the kind that reminded him he was alive, that he was getting better.

All thanks to you.

There are no days that you are not there beside him while he was battling with his sickness. Without you it will make sure take him longer to recover.

As his thoughts drifted back to you, the way you'd cared for him so gently, the concern in your eyes, the way your hand felt cool and reassuring against his fevered skin made him smile, soft smile that felt like it came from a place deep inside him that he hadn't accessed in years.

He got out of bed slowly, steadying himself as got out bed slowly, steading himself as he made his way to the bathroom. The face that looked back at him in the mirror was pale, but there was a spark in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

He splashed some water on his face, feeling the coolness refresh him, waking him up fully. As he patted his face with a clean towel, he noticed a bright, bear shaped sticky note stuck on the bathroom mirror.

"Don't forget to take your medicine on time! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ – Y/N"

He can't help but giggled at the kaomoji that you used, quickly reminded him those notes he gets on the gifts he received when he was high school usually on his energy drink, so much similar.

He knows.

He continued his path though the apartment, finding more notes: one on the refrigerator door, reminding him to eat healthy foods, another on the nightstand urging him to rest, and even one on the kitchen counter suggesting he hydrate often.

Each note was a tiny piece of your care left behind, and with each one he read, a warmth spread through his chest.

Jungwon's fingers lingered over the last note, his mind replaying the moments when you must have placed them there. He hadn't realized how much these small gestures would mean to him.

The realization that you've been here, that you cared enough to leave these notes, stirred something in him.

With a smirk, he grabbed a pen and a small notepad, mirroring your approach. He walked back to the refrigerator and placed his first note next to yours:

"Only if you join me for the next meal"

He continued around the apartment, leaving playful and grateful replies to each of your notes:

"You've got great handwriting, by the way."

"Feeling much better, thank to your TLC."

Jungwon grabbed his phone, the weight of it in his hand grounding him as he scrolled through his messages. There were a few from his coworkers, a missed call from his boss, but it was your message that caught his eye.

"Went back to uni to attend some classes. Let me know if you need anything. :)"

He smiled and quickly typed out a reply.

"Thank you, I really appreciate everything you did for me. How about we reschedule that dinner? This time, I promise I'll be there."

He hit send, feeling a mix of anticipation and nervousness. He hadn't felt like this in a long time—like a kid waiting for something exciting to happen, something that could change everything.

Jungwon walked into his kitchen, making a simple breakfast as he waited for your reply. He couldn't stop himself from glancing at his phone every few minutes, his mind racing with thoughts of what might happen next.

When his phone finally buzzed with a new message, he nearly knocked over his coffee in his haste to grab it.

''How about tomorrow night?"

Jungwon smiled, his heart doing that weird, excited flutter again. He quickly typed back a confirmation, his fingers moving almost on their own as he set the plan in motion.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. He spent most of it thinking about the dinner. Part of him was still nervous, still unsure of how to navigate these new feelings, but another part—a bigger part— was excited. He wanted to see you, to talk to you, to spend time with you.

By the time the day rolled around, Jungwon found himself standing outside your dorm, nervously rubbing his hands together as he leaned against his car, the soft glow of the evening lights reflecting on his face. His mind was spinning with anticipation, wondering how the night would go.

"Jungwon!"

The sound of your voice instantly pulled him from his thoughts. His head turned in your direction, and for a moment, everything seemed to move in slow motion.

There you were, walking toward him in the simplest of dresses—a light pastel that flowed effortlessly with the breeze. It wasn't flashy or overly formal, but in Jungwon's eyes, it was like the world had frozen just to capture this moment.

His breath hitched as he took in every detail—the way your hair swayed with each step, the soft smile on your face, and how the gentle evening light highlighted your features.

There was something so natural yet mesmerizing about you. You weren't just the girl he had known from years ago; you really had matured, grown into someone even more beautiful than he had imagined. His heart stirred, beating a rhythm he hadn't quite felt before.

"Something's wrong?" You asked in confusion with his sudden stillness.

Jungwon snapped back to reality, quickly composing himself before flashing a warm smile.

"You... you look beautiful tonight" Jungwon said, his voice slightly betraying his nerves. He looked down to cleared his throat, missing the way you blushed with his compliment.

Jungwon stepped forward and opened the car door for you, his movements gentle and deliberate.

"Shall we?" he asked, still feeling the lingering effects of seeing you in a new light.

As you stepped into the car, Jungwon couldn't help but let his gaze linger just a second longer, feeling that unfamiliar flutter in his chest once more.

The evening was pleasant, with the sound of your laughter filling the air as you caught up on everything that had happened since you last spoke.

Jungwon found himself smiling more than he had in a while, but there was something he couldn't shake—the weight of the questions he had buried for so long.

As the conversation drifted, he saw the way you fiddled with the napkin in your hand, your eyes dropping to the table for a moment.

He knew that look. You were nervous, maybe even hesitant, and his heart tightened in anticipation.

He had a feeling he knew what was coming next.

"Jungwon," you started, your voice soft, almost unsure. He immediately turned his full attention to you, his heart beating a little faster. "I wanted to apologize... for suddenly losing contact with you back then."

There it was.

Jungwon's chest tightened, but he didn't show it. He smiled softly, nodding, trying to ease the tension.

"It's okay," he said, meaning it. He didn't want to make this harder for you than it already was. "People grow apart sometimes... but, if it's not too much to ask—" he hesitated, feeling selfish for even bringing it up, but he had to know.

"Is it okay to know why?"

He watched as you expression shifted, the light in your eyes dimming slightly. You looked down, fidgeting with you napkin again, and for a moment, he thought you might actually tell him the truth. But then you gave a small laugh, almost forced, and shrugged.

"I guess I was just...really busy" You nervously laugh "School, life, you know. It all kind of caught up with me."

Jungwon smiled, but deep down, he know that wasn't it. Not the whole truth, anyway.

He knows.

He has always known.

When you stopped talking to him, when you disappeared from his life, he has sensed there was going on. The way you had distanced yourself felt deliberate, and it hurt more than he could admit.

But what really gave it away was the gifts—the little care packages, the foods, and sticky notes filled with motivational puns and quotes accompanied with cute doodles.

He had always suspected it was you. No one else would gone out of their way to make sure he was taken care of, not like you had.

The moment you stopped talking to him, those small, thoughtful gestures had stopped too. He has noticed, and the pieces had fallen into place.

But he didn't push it. Not then, and not now.

He nodded again, forcing his smile to stay in place even though part of him was disappointed. "I understand," he said quietly. "I'm just glad we're talking again."

And he meant that.

He was happy to have you back in his life, even if there was still questions unanswered. He wouldn't force you to explain what had really happened. You had your reason, and he respected that.

But deep down, he couldn't help but hope that one day, you'd tell him. One day, you'd trust him again to share the real reason you had pulled away.

For now, though, Jungwon take what he could get. He wouldn't push, because having you here, across from him, was enough.

It was more than enough.

Chapter Ten

After the dinner, your friendship with Jungwon began to feel like it had slipped back into the comfortable rhythm it had in high school.

The awkwardness of lost time seemed to melt away, replaced by an easy companionship.

Whenever you both had free time, you found yourselves spending it together—catching dinners, window shopping, or simply grabbing snacks for a quick break.

This time, it was Jungwon's idea to got to the movies after he learned you were eager to see the latest release in a series you'd both followed.

The two of you sat through the film, laughing at the same parts and exchanging quiet comments, surrounding the both of you with warm and familiar atmosphere.

As you sat in the car on the way back, a thought crossed your mind. Jungwon had been spending so much time with you lately, always eager to hang out, always suggesting things to do.

It made you wonder.

Did he have other friends?

Friends he shared these kinds of moments with?

You hesitated for a moment before asking. "So... do you hang out like this with your other friends?"

Jungwon glanced at you briefly before returning his attention to the road, his brows slightly raised at the question.

"Friends?" He repeated, as if to make sure he heard you right. You nodded, curiosity getting the better of you.

"I mean, I do have friends" he said, shrugging slightly. "But they don't really like doing this kind of stuff."

The answer surprised you a little, and it made you wonder something else. You knew he was good-looking, kind, and had that natural charm about him.

Surely, he'd had a girlfriend at some point, right?

But before you could ask directly, you found yourself hesitating.

Was that too personal?

You didn't want to pry but the curiosity kills you at the moment.

"I'm sure you've done these things with a girl before, though..." You said it casually, hoping it wouldn't sound too invasive, your gaze shifting out the window to avoid his reaction.

To you surprise, Jungwon chuckled softly. "No, not really."

Your head snapped toward him in shock. "Really?" The disbelief in your voice was clear.

Jungwon nodded, his expression calm and sincere. "Yeah, I've never had a girlfriend."

You blinked, trying to process that. Jungwon? Never had a girlfriend?

It was hard to believe, given how many girls had swooned over him back in high school—and probably still did. He seemed so...put together.

You were at a loss for words, but Jungwon didn't seemed to mind your reaction.

"Well," he said, a playful lilt to his voice, "if you know someone, maybe you could match me up."

His suggestion caught you off guard, and suddenly, a small but sharp pang shot though your chest, like a sting you weren't expecting.

You blinked in surprise, forcing a smile, but deep down, it hurt in a way you hadn't anticipated. You didn't understand why.

Why did the idea of introducing him to someone else—someone who might catch his interest—bother you so much?

The thought of seeing him with another girl, laughing, and sharing the same moments the two of you had been enjoying lately, made something inside of you twist.

Quickly, you shook your head. "I don't think I can do that." you said, trying to keep your voice casual.

Jungwon seemed confused for a moment. "Why not?" he asked, his tone still playful, unaware of the strange ache his words had caused.

You bit your lip, searching for an excuse. "I don't know any women around your age," you finally said, managing to sound nonchalant. "Most of my friends are close to my age."

It was true; you were twenty-two years old, surrounded by a vibrant group of friends your age, all still navigating the ups and downs of college life together. Your felt sense of comfort and camaraderie among them, but when it came to Jungwon, everything was different.

You couldn't help but wonder if he would actually consider dating someone younger. Surely, a guy like him would be interested in a women who were around his age—twenty-seven or older, women who had their lives more figured out than you did.

Jungwon fell silent for a moment, as if considering your response. Then, with a soft smile, his voice quieter, more serious than before said,

"Around your age, huh?" He looked at you, and there was something in his gaze that made your heart skip a beat.

"I'm fine with that."

His words hug in the air, leaving you momentarily speechless. There was something about the way he said it—something gentle but also bold, like he was hinting at something more.

The pain that you felt earlier sudden disappeared, totally gone like it didn't happen, only to be replaced with a quick beat of your heart and warmth spreading across you cheeks.

Was he... implying something?

You looked away, quickly, trying to steady yourself. Your thought were suddenly racing, a strange fluttering sensation stirring in your stomach. You weren't sure how to respond, or if you even should.

A part of you wanted to brush it off as causal banter, but the way he had look at you made it had to dismiss.

And then there was your heart, beating a little faster, making you wonder if maybe just maybe, this was more than just two old friend reconnecting.

As the weeks passed, your time with Jungwon grew more frequent and comfortable. Each outing felt like a glimpse into a friendship that had been rekindled, a spark that had never truly gone out.

You found yourselves laughing more often, sharing more stories, and creating new memories that felt just as precious as those from high school.

Being with Jungwon very often can't help but make you realize some moments that made you wonder if there was something more between you two.

During a spontaneous lunch one afternoon, Jungwon had leaned closer, whispering a joke that made your stomach flutter.

The way he looked at you sometimes, with that gentle smile and twinkling eyes, sent your heart racing.

Sometimes, you caught him watching you with fondness when you laughed, his gaze lingering a little too long, and each time you felt an electric thrill dance down your spine.

One day, as you were both walking through a local park, he playfully nudged you with his shoulder and said, "You know, I really like spending time with you. You make everything more fun."

You brushed it off, laughing it off lightly, but inside, your mind was racing.

Was he just being friendly? Or was there something deeper behind those words?

Then, one evening, everything took a turn. Your dorm experienced a power outrage, leaving you with no way to study for your major exam the next day. You felt a wave of panic wash over you. You needed to review, and the library was already closed.

However, Jungwon didn't hesitate to invite you to his apartment after hearing your situation.

"It's no big deal," he assured you, his voice warm and inviting. "I'll inform your parents and Ni-ki."

His last words gives you so much assurance to accept his kind offer.

Once inside his apartment, you immediately settled in at his dining table, books sprawled out around you. You tried to focus, flipping through your notes and practice problems, but the anxiety of the impeding exam loomed over you like a storm cloud.

As the minutes turned into an hour, you found yourself staring blankly at a particularly difficult math problem, your frustration mouthing with each failed attempt to solve it.

You let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through your hair. The numbers seemed to blur together, and your concentration slipped further away.

Jungwon passed by but quickly halted when he saw your miserable expression.

"You okay?" he asked, concern lacing his voice.

You sighed dramatically. "I'm fine, just struggling with this problem"

He stepped closer, brow furrowed as he glanced at the paper in front of you. "Want me to take a look?"

Before you could respond, he pulled up a chair beside you, towel still draped around his neck from a shower, water droplets glistening in his tousled hair.

You couldn't help but stare, feeling a rush of warmth in your cheeks.

There was something effortlessly charming about him, even in such a casual state.

As he leaned over to see your work, your heart raced. It felt so nostalgic, the way he was explaining the problem to you, reminiscent of those afternoons in middle school when he'd patiently guided you through your studies. His voice was calm and reassuring, and you found yourself hanging on his every word.

But then, something on the table caught your eye. There, beside your notes, was the mug you had gifted him ages ago—the one with the garden design that reminded of you of his name.

The very reason you had stopped sending him gifts and pulled away.

The sight of the mug stirred something within you, a mix of nostalgia and warmth.

He kept it?

I thought his friends don't like it?

"Hey, is this the problem you're stuck on?" Jungwon's voice snapped you back to the present, his brow raised in curiosity.

"Yeah," you admitted, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of the emotions swirling inside you. "I just can't wrap my head around it."

He studied the problem for a moment before his fingers brushed against yours as he pointed to the paper. You felt a jolt of electricity at the contact, and your heart raced again. Jungwon's closeness, his focus on you, everything felt changed with an energy you couldn't ignore.

"This part is tricky," he explained, his voice steady and clear. "But if you look at it this way..."

As he walked you through the steps, you felt a sense of comfort was over you. His presence was calming, and the way he spoke made everything feel manageable.

You focused on him, on the way his eyes lit up with enthusiasm as he explained the concepts. You were reminded once more of how much you valued not just his help but his company.

And as he continued, something deeper began to stir within you, a growing awareness of your feelings. It was becoming increasingly clear that your feelings for Jungwon didn't die down, not a single thing.

You were still in love with him.

And seeing that mug, healed something inside of you.

As you worked through the problem Jungwon had just explained, you could feel his presence lingering beside you. He hadn't left your side after finishing his explanation, and though he was silent, you couldn't share the feeling of his gaze on you. Your eyes stayed fixed on your notebook, but the heat in your cheeks grew as you became increasingly aware of him.

You stole a quick glance from the corner of your eye, and your heart skipped a beat.

Jungwon had his head resting on his arm, lying on the table just inches away, his eyes soft as he watched you. He looked so at ease, but there was a gentleness in his gaze that made your pulse race. His other arm lay near the open notebook, as if he was still ready to help but, at the moment, was more focused on you than on the math problem in front of him.

Feeling flustered, you looked down again, trying to concentrate on the numbers, but his gaze felt as tangible as a touch. You shifted in your seat, forcing yourself to refocus, yet you could still feel him looking at you, and it was making you incredibly self-conscious.

When you finally turned to him, cheeks flushed, you managed to stammer, "I-Is something wrong?"

Jungwon chuckled softly, lifting his head just a little to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His touch was gentle, warm, and it made you freeze. He smiled, his voice a quite murmur, "Yeah, you look beautiful today."

Your heart immediately fluttered and a rush of warmth filling your chest as his words sank in. He kept his gaze steady on you, his expression unwavering and full of something that made you breathless.

"And it makes my heart go crazy," he added, leaning back slightly but never breaking eye contact. His eyes held a playful glint, but there was also something deeper, more serious.

You felt your cheeks grow even warmer as your tore your gaze away, attempting to hide the way his words affected you.

"D-don't be ridiculous," you mumbled, trying to downplay the fluttering in your stomach, even though you were sure he could see right through you.

Jungwon's smile widened, clearly amused by your reaction. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed," he teased, and you shot him a look of mock annoyance, though your blush betrayed you.

"Stop distracting me, I'm trying to study," you replied, attempting to sound stern but failing miserably as you couldn't help but smile.

Jungwon leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand, still watching you with that soft look. "Alright, alright, I'll behave. But hey," he added, his tone becoming more thoughtful, "after your exam, if you're free, maybe we can go out and celebrate? Just the two of us?"

You met his gaze, your heart skipping a beat at the hint of excitement in his eyes.

"Yeah," you replied, smiling shyly, "I'd like that."

He nodded, seeming pleased, and you noticed a spark in his expression, ad if he'd already made up his mind about something.

He turned his attention back to your notebook, giving you space to study, but you could still feel the warmth of his lingering presence. It felt comforting, steady and you couldn't help but feel that this moment was the beginning of something more.

After days of studying and pouring all your energy into the exam, the moment finally arrived. As you left the exam room, a wave of relied washed over you.

You'd given it your all, and now, the excitement of the evening with Jungwon took over your thoughts. He'd promised a celebration, and you were determined to make it one worth remembering, regardless of the results.

You met him outside, where he greeted you with a warm smile. "Ready?" he asked, his eyes shining with anticipation.

You nodded, and he led you to a narrow spiral staircase that wound up the side of a building. Just as you reached the base, he extended his hands, gently holding yours to guide you up. You felt your cheeks warm at the touch, but his grip was steady and reassuring.

He seemed to sense your nerves, giving your hand a slight squeeze as you climbed the stairs together.

When you finally reached the top, you gasped at the sight ahead of you.

Spread across the rooftop was a cozy setup: a blanket laid out under a canopy of string lights that twinkled like stars, a small table with a cake and some snacks, and a perfect view of the city skyline glowing against the evening sky. The lights of the city stretched out before you, painting a breathtaking scene.

Turning to Jungwon, you felt a surge of emotions welling up. He'd gone through so much trouble for this moment, and you hadn't even received your exam result yet.

"Jungwon... you didn't have to do all this," you said, your voiced tinged with both gratitude and a bit of worry.

"But I wanted to," he replied softly, meeting your gaze. There was sincerity in his eyes that made your heart flutter. "You worked so hard. You deserve a celebration, no matter what."

You gave him a small, grateful smile, and you both walked over to the edge of the rooftop, where you settled by the railing. As you admired the view, you found yourselves talking easily—about your exam, Jungwon's latest projects at work, and everything in between.

The conversation was light, punctuated with laughter, and the atmosphere felt intimate and warm.

As you finished a bite of cake, Jungwon suddenly cleared his throat, drawing your attention. He seemed a little nervous, which was unusual for him, and it made you raise an eyebrow curiously.

"So," he began, a small smile playing on his lips, "you said last time that someone was recently trying to get your attention, right?" You nodded, confirming that someone from another department in your college was indeed trying to pursue you. "What happened with that?"

"I turned him down. I don't have any feelings for him, and I felt bad letting him continue pursuing me without any feelings on my part. I might lead him on and waste his time." You took another bite, savoring the sweetness as Jungwon watched you intently. "Besides, I was too busy with school."

"So, if you weren't busy," he said, a bit more casually, "what kind of guy would you go for?"

You thought for a moment, pretending to consider it seriously. "Well... he'd have to be handsome," you said with playful grin, watching as Jungwon subtly brushed a hand through his hair, giving you a self-assured smile in response.

"Good temper?" he asked, as if he was mentally checking off boxes.

"Definitely," you agreed. " And he'd have to be at least this tall." You raised you hand above your head, gesturing a bit higher than his height.

With a chuckle, Jungwon straightened straightened his posture, lifting his chin proudly to meet the mark.

You giggled at his antics, playfully nudging him. "And, of course, he should be kind."

Jungwon looked thoughtful as he turned his gaze to the city lights. After a brief pause, he glanced back at you, a hint of vulnerability in his expression.

"You know..." he paused, nervous starting creeping up on him.

"...I think I possess the qualities you mentioned."

Your heart skipped a beat as you froze, fork halfway to your mouth. His eyes held yours, and he took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.

"That's why I wanted to ask you..." He hesitated, his tone suddenly soft and serious. "Can I be the man who gets to be part of your life? To stand by your side, to laugh with you... to make you smile like this?"

You stared at him, feeling an overwhelming mix of emotions. Jungwon was offering you something you'd dreamed of, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes.

For a moment, you felt like you were floating in a dream.

The boy you'd admired since middle school, the one who had occupied your thought through the years, the one who you silently cheering on the sidelines when he practicing for a football game, the one you effortlessly make pack gifts to cheer him up during game season... was here, confessing that he felt the same way.

It was the kind of moment you'd only ever imagined, a quiet hope you'd carried through so many stages of your life, never quite believing it would come true.

Your heart raced as you took it all in—the warmth in his gaze, the way he looked at you with such tenderness. It was like you were suspended in a beautiful, beautiful, fragile dream, and a small part of you feared that if you moved or spoke, you might wake up, and this moment slip away.

But it was real, he was real.

And he was right here, waiting for you, giving you the space to breath and to let the reality of his words sink in.

You felt a spark that immediately sent butterflies fluttering in your stomach when he reached for your hand and caressed it gently. He gave you a soft smile and continued, "You don't have to answer me right away. Take your time, okay? I just wanted you to know how I feel."

You could feel your checks warming, your pulse quickening, but there was a sense of calm that washed over you too. You squeeze his hand as you managed to whisper,

"Just so you know... the feeling is mutual."

Jungwon's face lit up with a soft, genuine smile, with his dimple deepening that you really love. You felt his thumb brushing over you knuckles that sent another waves of butterflies on your stomach.

He seemed content with the simple connection, knowing that there was no rush, and that the possibility of something beautiful had just begun to unfold between you.

The two of you continued to talk, your words filled with quite hopes and lingering glances.

Jungwon felt a quiet contentment settle within him, knowing he could now pursue you openly, with no reservations—only the pure, genuine love and admiration he held for you, hoping that his feelings would eventually find their way to your heart.

The days that followed Jungwon's quiet confession felt like a gentle unfolding of a dream you hadn't realized could be real.

True to his word, he started showing you, in every little way possible, how much he cared. From bringing you coffee on mornings when he knew you had early classes, to waiting for you outside the library after late study sessions, his gestures were sweet, consistent, and undeniably meaningful.

He was there with small surprises—an extra jacket when he noticed you'd forgotten yours, or a quick note tucked into your notebook remining you to take a break. And every time you looked up, he'd be watching with that soft, affectionate gaze that made your heart skip a beat.

It wasn't just the small gestures, either. When he found out you'd been stressing about an upcoming presentation, he organized a mini study session at his place, complete with snacks and calming playlist. And when he saw how nervous you were, he even practiced with you, listening intently, giving you feedback, and reassuring you that you were more than capable.

His consistency, his warmth, and the way he openly showed how much he liked you made you felt cherished in a way you hadn't expected.

And now, after a long day out together—an impromptu dinner date that had him sneaking you off to his favorite hidden restaurant—Jungwon was walking you back to your dorm.

His fingers were intertwined with yours, his thumb gently brushing against you knuckles as you both strolled through the quiet campus, sharing laughs and reliving moment from your date.

All of that with your pink purse dangling on his shoulder, a sight that made you giggle at how casually he carried it unbothered by how girly it looked on him. He wore it with a smile, squeezing your hand every now and then, as if to reassure you that he was exactly where he wanted to be.

As you strolled through the quite campus, your phone suddenly rang, and when you glanced down, you saw it was Ni-ki.

You answered immediately, expecting his usual check-in, half expecting his usual teasing tone, but instead, his voice came through dark and uncharacteristically stern.

"Have you arrived at your dorm?" he asked, and the strictness in his voice made you pause.

You glanced up at Jungwon, who squeezed your hand reassuringly, his warm smile grounding you. "Almost," you replied softly, trying to keep the peace.

"What's the matter?" you asked, hoping to keep things light.

There was a pause, and the Ni-ki's voice lowered even more. "There's a girl holding hands with a guy on campus right now..."

You were confused at what your brother saying, but his next word felt like someone throw an ice bucket over your head.

"that's you, right?"

You froze mid-step, your heart dropping as you realized what he was implying.

Jungwon stopped too, looking at you with a slight tilt of his head, concern flickering in his eyes. Your mind raced as you glanced around, searching for any sign of your brother.

And then, like a scene straight our of a dramatic movie, you spotted him—Ni-ki, walking towards you with dark expression, his phone still on his ear, eyes fixed on your intertwined hands with a cold expression that made your blood run cold.

"Riki-nii..." you whispered, pulling your hand back from Jungwon's, though he gave you a soft, reassuring look, his calm presence keeping you grounded even as a wave of worry swept over you.

A few moments later, Ni-ki was by your side, his gaze cold and intense as he sized up the situation.

Without a word, he took your purse from Jungwon's shoulder and held it firmly, then mentioned for you to walk with him. "Come on," he muttered, not giving Jungwon a glance.

You gave Jungwon an apologetic look as Ni-ki led you forward, your brother's silent insistence making it clear he wasn't in the mood to talk just yet.

Jungwon followed a few steps behind, hands shoved into his pockets, his jaw clenched but his eyes softened whenever you glanced back.

After a few moments of walking, you finally broke the silence. "I was going to tell you, Nii-san. I just wanted to make sure.... that you'd understand" you said softly, hoping he'd listened.

Ni-ki only gave you a sharp glare. "Understand? You could've given me a heads-up before I caught you sneaking around like this." He looked straight ahead, his face set in a stern expression, guiding you toward your dorm.

You sighed, trying to reason with him as you matched his stride. "We're not even together yet, Riki-nii. I didn't hide anything—"

But Ni-ki cut you off, thrusting your purse back into your hands as you reached your dorm's entrance. "Get inside," he said, his voice leaving no room for argument.

"Nini, please..." you tried, feeling helpless as he kept his gaze away from you, his tone rigid. It felt as though the brother you knew, the one who always teased and protected you, had been replaced by a stern stranger.

Just as you were about to turn to Jungwon for some support, he stepped forward, his warm hand reaching for your elbow, his touch calming you instantly. You looked up, meeting his soft, understanding eyes as he gave you a gentle smile.

"You should go inside," he said kindly, his thumb grazing your arm soothingly. "It's already dark, and you have classes tomorrow."

You hesitated, glancing between Jungwon and your brother, not wanting to leave them like this. "But..."

Jungwon leaned in, his hand moving up to brush a strand of hair from your face, his touch calming despite the tension between you and your brother.

"I can handle this, okay? Don't worry." He spoke with a calm assurance, his gaze never wavering, and though you still felt anxious, his words helped settle your nerves.

Reluctantly, you nodded, giving Ni-ki one last pleading look, but he remained stoic, his gaze unwavering.

With a heavy heart, you turned and walked inside, glancing back one last time. You watched as Ni-ki and Jungwon turned and began to walk, their figures disappearing into the night.

The sight left a lingering ache in your chest, but the look in Jungwon's eyes reassured you that he would handle it.

You trusted Jungwon, and deep down, you hoped Ni-ki would see thins your way... eventually.

The silence between Jungwon and Ni-ki was thick, almost suffocating, as they made their way to the empty park under a dim glow of streetlights.

Jungwon felt his heart racing, the gravity of the situation sinking in with each step. He knew he was in the wrong for not speaking to Ni-ki first, for not even realizing that what he shared with you would hit his best friend this deeply.

He knew he should have asked Ni-ki's permission before pursuing you, especially since you meant so much to him. He understood the hurt and sense of betrayal Ni-ki must be feeling, after all, they were best friends, and here he was, holding onto a secret that concerned his sister.

When they stopped, Ni-ki remained with his back turned to Jungwon, his stance tense, fists clenched at his sides. Jungwon opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, Ni-ki whipped around and swung a punch that landed square on his jaw, sending him stumbling back.

Pain shot through him, and he clutched his cheek, catching his breath. He barely had time to steady himself when another punch connected with his stomach, knocking the air out of him.

He doubled over, coughing as he tasted blood on his lip. Despite the pain, he didn't try to defend himself. He knew Ni-ki needed this release, needed to let out the anger and betrayal he felt.

If this was what it took for him to listen, Jungwon would endure it.

He braced himself, expecting another blow, but instead, Ni-ki took a deep, frustrated breath and ran a hand through his hair, as though he was trying to collect himself.

"Jungwon," Ni-ki's voice was hoarse with anger, "I don't care if you date someone younger. I don't care if you date someone who isn't in our circle. But why... why does it have to be my sister?" His voice broke a little, caught between fury and something close to betrayal.

"Out of all the girls who chase after you, why did it have to be her?"

Jungwon opened his mouth, but Ni-ki held up a hand, demanding silence. There was so much pain in his friend's eyes, and Jungwon knew that if he tried to defend himself now, Ni-ki wouldn't be able to hear him. So he waited, fists still clenched, willing himself to listen, to let Ni-ki's anger run its course.

Ni-ki's voice dropped, his words cutting like a knife. "Tell me, are you the reason she moved here? Are you the reason she wanted to study in this city?" The accusation hit like another blow, and Jungwon shook his head in confusion, trying to process what Ni-ki was saying.

"My sister... she's liked you since middle school, Jungwon" Ni-ki continued, his voice shaking with something deeper than anger. "Did you think I wouldn't notice? Do you think I didn't see it—that you were the reason she insisted on having you as her tutor?”

Jungwon blinked, taken a aback. He'd known that you were gifted in physics, but he'd brushed it off as you just being a fast learner.

But the idea, that you had pretend to need help just to be around him—made his heart ache with mix of regret and tenderness.

Ni-ki let out a bitter, humorless chuckle. "She didn't need tutoring. She was already brilliant in physics. But she wanted to help you because she likes you, Jungwon. She went out of her way for you, all without expecting anything in return." His voice softened just a bit, and Jungwon could see the pain hidden behind Ni-ki's anger.

"Do you know how hard it is to watch someone you care about quietly sacrifice for someone else?"

Jungwon felt warmth spread through him at Ni-ki's words, realizing just how deeply you had cared for him, even he hadn't deserved it. You'd gone to all this effort, all the while hiding your own feelings, and now...

Now he'd understood why he was drawn to you, why his own feelings had shifted.

You'd shown him a quiet, steady love, even when he hadn't seen it.

Finally, Jungwon met Ni-ki's gaze, eyes filled with sincerity. "I didn't know, Ni-ki. I swear, I had no ideas she liked me. I thought she was just being kind, trying to help me without any other reason. But now that I know...I can't see her that way anymore. She's become so much more to me."

Ni-ki clenched his fists, his jaw tight as he stared hard at Jungwon, trying to decide if he could believe him.

"You don't deserve my sister, Jungwon" He said, bitterness lacing his words.

The statement hit Jungwon hard, a painful truth that he felt in the core of his being. He understood—you were someone precious, someone worth protecting. Maybe Ni-ki was right, maybe he didn't serve you.

You deserved someone who would give you nothing less than the world.

But that was exactly why he couldn't walk away. He had to prove that he could be the one to give you that.

"I know," Jungwon admitted, his voice low and filled with sincerity. "i know I don't deserve her—not yet. She's kind, selfless, and she deserves someone who can measure up to that. But please...give me a chance to prove myself." He swallowed, his gaze unwavering as he Ni-ki's eyes. "Let me prove to you, and to her, tat I can be the person she deserves. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll earn her trust—and yours—if you give me the chance."

His voice softened, tinged with quite desperation. " I want to be the one who protects her, who supports he. I want to worthy of her, Ni-ki. I may not be there yet, but I'll work every day to become that person. I swear it."

There was silence, the weight of Jungwon's hanging heavy between them. He hoped Ni-ki could see the honestly in his eyes, could feel how much this meant to him. Jungwon knew he couldn't erase past or change how things had unfolded, be he could promise one thing—

that he would never take your love or trust for granted.

"Please," Jungwon continued, his voice voice barely above a whisper, "I love her, Ni-ki. Just give me a chance to show you that I'm worthy of her."

A flicker of doubt crossed Ni-ki's face, and then something shifted.

The hardness in his gaze softened, even if only slightly, as he let out long, frustrated breath. Deep down, Ni-ki knew Jungwon was a good guy. He'd always trusted him with almost everything.

And maybe, as much he hated to admit it, he was a little relieved it was Jungwon and not some stranger he couldn't trust.

"You have one chance, Jungwon," Ni-ki muttered, his voice still sharp but with a trace of reluctant acceptance. "If you mess this up...if you break her heart... I will personally make your life hell. I will destroy you. Do you understand?"

Jungwon nodded, feeling a mix of relief and respect. He straightened, ignoring the ache in his bruised face and stomach, and met Ni-ki's eyes. "I understand. And I promise, I won't let you down."

They stood in silence for a moment, tension slowly giving way to uneasy truce. Ni-ki's glare softened just a bit, though he couldn't completely mask the protective worry lingering in his gaze.

"Don't make me regret this, Jungwon," Ni-ki said, the threat clear but a hint of acceptance in his voice.

"I won't," Jungwon replied, feeling a newfound determination. For you, and for Ni-ki he'd make sure of it.

Back in your dorm room, you can't help but pace back and forth, your mind whirling with worry. Every possible scenario runs through your head, each one making your heart race faster.

You can only imagine what your brother and Jungwon might be discussing right now. Would Ni-ki react calmly, or would his protectiveness take over, sparking a fight?

You've seen him play the role of the overprotective brother before, but this time feels different, heavier.

You pause by the window, chewing your lip as you stare out at the quiet campus, your chest tightening with guilt. You know you should have told Ni-ki about your feelings for Jungwon earlier. You've heard your brother's opinions on dating enough to know that your relationship with Jungwon—his best friend, of all people—might feel like a betrayal.

The last thing you want is to be the reason they grow cold toward each other.

An hour passes, your anxious pacing only making your heart pound harder. Eventually, unable to stand the silence any longer, you grab your keys and decided to go to Jungwon's apartment, hoping he's already back. You need to see him, to know what happened, and—if nothing else—to make sure he's okay.

When you reach his apartment and knock, he open the door, and your heart drops at the sight of him. There's a fresh bruise darkening his cheek, and another on his jaw. He gives you a small, apologetic smile, but the sight of his injuries makes your concern turn to anger in an instant.

"Did Riki-nii do this to you?" you ask, voice shaking with fury. "I'm going to give my brother a piece of my mind"

Before you can turn to leave, Jungwon catches your wrist, pulling you back. "Hey, hey it's okay," he says softly, his voice soothing. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

You narrow your eyes, a scowl replacing your earlier worry. "No, you're not fine! Look at you! I trusted him to talk things out, not..." You gesture to his face, a frustrated huff escaping you. "I'm going over there. He has no right—"

Your words were cut off when Jungwon pulls you closer, resting his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as though your presence was all he needed to feel grounded. For a moment, the world quiets, and you feel his steady breaths matching yours, calming you.

"Please," he murmurs. "Don't be mad at him. We already talked it out, everything's okay now."

Your heart softens, but a part of you is still bristling with protectiveness for him. He watches your face, a gentle smile curving his lips, as if he can see the conflict within you. After a beat, you sigh and nod, choosing to trust him.

Once inside, you sit him down and grab a washcloth, dabbing it gently over the bruise on his cheek. Your touch is light, your fingers trembling slightly with worry.

Jungwon watches you in silence, his eyes soft, filled with something warm and unspoken. As you concentrate on his face, he feels a pang in his chest, remembering what Ni-ki had said:

You don't deserve her.

He lets out a sigh, breaking the quiet. "Your brother's right, you know," he murmurs almost to himself. "I don't deserve you."

Your hand freezes, and you look up, frowning. "Stop saying that." Despite everything Jungwon told you about his talk with Ni-ki, the thought of your brother's words cutting him like this makes anger simmer beneath your skin again. "I swear, if he made you feel—"

Jungwon chuckles softly, his eyes filled with affection as he reached for your hand, resting it against his bruised cheek, and leaned into her your touch, cherishing the warmth you gave, with his thump brushing over your knuckles.

"You're too good to me, you know that?" His gaze holds yours, tender and vulnerable. "How did I not see it before? All those years, I was so blind."

You shake your head, thumb tracing his cheek gently. "Don't blame yourself. I never wanted you to feel burdened by what I felt. I just...wanted you to know."

He holds your gaze, his own eyes soft with a mixture of regret and wonder. "You've always treated me better than I deserve, "he says quietly. "Whether it was back then or now, you've always seen the best in me." His voice drops to a whisper. "Maybe I don't deserve you , but I'm going to spend every day trying to."

Your heart skips a beat, and before you can reply, he leans in, his eyes searching yours. "Y/n," he breathes. "I love you."

The words send a shiver down your spine, your heart swelling as his confession sinks in. "Jungwon..." you whisper, voice with emotion.

"I'm sorry I took so long to say it," he continues, his gaze steady and full of sincerity. "I know I made you wait, that I hurt you without even realizing it. But because of you, I finally saw the truth. You deserve someone who will appreciate you fully—and I promise, I won't let you regret the choice you made."

Tears well up in your eyes as his words wrap around you heart, warm and reassuring. You've always struggled to find the right words, to articulate the depth of what you feel, but as you look into his eyes, you realize that you don't need to say anything.

Without another word, you lean forward, closing the distance between you, and press your lips to his in a gentle, lingering kiss. He responds immediately, his hand moving to the back of your head, holding you close as he kisses you with a tenderness that speaks of all the feelings he's been holding back.

It's soft, unhurried, a shared breath that feels like both an answer and a promise. In this single, heartfelt moment, everything you've held in silence, every hope, and every dream, finds its voice.

When you finally pull apart, foreheads still touching, he whispers, "How did I get so lucky?"

You smile, cheeks flushed, heart full, feeling like this moment was worth every hidden glance, every unspoken word. It feels like all those moments—years of quietly loving him, of small sacrifices he never even knew—were leading up to this.

You think back to middle school, how you'd linger at the edge of the field after school, cheering for him at his football games, hidden among the crowd so he wouldn't see the way your heart skipped with each play he made. Ever packed snack, every energy drink left "by accident" on his locker, was your way of showing care without a word spoken.

You'd insisted on become his tutor student, it wasn't because you needed help but to help him with his financial struggles, the extra weight he carried, and wanting to ease that burden in any way you could. Being his student gave you a reason to stay close, a way to support him without making him feel like he was in your debt.

It was never about him noticing; it was simply about making his days a little easier, seeing him smile a little brighter, and knowing you could play a part in it.

You used to wonder if loving someone silently was enough, if perhaps it was the purest form of love because there was no expectation, no demand, only quiet affection. And even though you thought it might go unrequited, your heart found joy in seeing him happy, whether he knew your feelings or not.

But now, as he stand before you, gazing back at you with the same depth and warmth you've felt for so long, fate seems has a way of hearing those hidden hopes, granting the quite wishes of a gentle heart.

Perhaps it was that purity of your love, the unwavering care you showed him, that allowed your feelings to reach him. All those moments you held your love back now feels like steps that led you to this moment—a moment that feels so much deeper because of all the waiting, all the silent sacrifices.

You realize that your patience, your quite devotion, has come back to you tenfold.

In this moment, Jungwon's love feels like it wraps around every hidden hope you held in your heart, filling in the spaces that were left waiting, growing over time. He sees you now—not just the present-day you, but the younger girl who quietly cheered him on, the one who made excuses to give him snacks, who silently offered help when he needed it most.

There's a quiet strength in his gaze, a tenderness that assures you that he won't just take your love for granted, as if he's promising not just to return your love but to honor it, to protect it with commitment that will last.

And you know now that he'll hold your heart with the same care you held for his all those years.

You feel complete.

Like you've finally come home to the love you've always longed for, only to find it more beautiful than you'd ever dared to dream.

As his hand lingers against you cheek, a soft smile on his lips, you know that his love for you is rooted not just in passion but in gratitude, in awe of the patience you showed.

His love isn't just a response; it's a promise—a promise to take care of your heart the way you took care of his, and to make you feel loved every day from here on out.

In his gaze, you can see the same warmth you've held for so long, a warmth that reflects back to you, returned and magnified. Your heart is no longer alone in its silent longing; it had found a partner in him, one who will carry it carefully.

'I might have loved Jungwon too early,' you think to yourself as you take in the softness in his eyes.

But he loved you at the perfect time.

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deesseshesca · 27 days ago

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PAC : What flashback is imprinted in your lover's mind ? (18+)

Y'all don't know how long it takes for me to found the right images just to end up disappointed ... smh

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PILE 1

You guys are childhood best friends. Maybe your moms knew each other forever or y’all are neighbors. Y’all grew up together … max 5 years age gap. I feel like this person is older than you. The feminine energy you grew beautifully. Is not even about liking you or not … you are very attractive. A lot of friends of your bff try to hit on you some of y’all, your best friend gave the green light. While others … if you are surprised nobody is hitting on you or even acting interested … babe put 2 and 2 together. Nah you are not bad at flirting actually you are very good. Damm you are a triple threat; beautiful, charming and smart … not your bff doing you wrong.

The flashback.

For a long time, they kept their distance. Your person has a lot of integrity and they believe in boy and girl friendship. So they put whatever feeling that was coming through to the side. Or brush it off by being to horny at the moment. Not like… you are the only woman available around me and that’s why I am horny. More in the way that: ‘’Ok pile 2 is attractive and my body is having a normal reaction.’’. The flush they felt when you back yourself on their chest. The tingles they feel when you are close to them, your eyes sparkling because you are talking about something that excites you. The yearning for your touch after you give them a hug or you just run your hand on their back or hair. They love embracing you and putting their chin on your head. They are so grateful for y’all closeness and the fact that you’ve been close because they get to share intimate moments with you in front of people without anyone really questioning y’all. Also they don’t know if they can handle never touching you.

The vision is you organizing some type of party at your house. Could be a summer house where you invited everyone you knew and the invited; invited more people. Chérie d’Amour y’all are popular. Which does not surprise me . Before you look around running away from the title just know there’s nothing wrong with the title. Some people don’t want to realize that there are some people with amazing social skills, that love to interact with their environment, that live in their authenticity while being extremely charming and attractive. Like y’all not all popular people are mean. Most of the time they are resourceful since they always know a person that knows a person. Moving on , it could be you inviting your soul tribe over at your apartment for Friendsgiving or just for the fuck of it. Y’all like hosting and you go all in. You choose a theme and buy decorations for it. Keep going with your skills and it will not surprise me if your friend asks you to organize their engagement party or baby shower in the future. Anyway they came early … duuuuuh… bff duty. They were cutting some stuff in the kitchen. Before I go deeper, y’all keep teasing him/her by giving that person fuck me eyes, rub their dick/pussy by accident or texting them ungodly things. Some of y’all discuss each other's sexual past and desires. They were only uncomfortable because they soon realized that not only was y’all relationship not a friendship no more but they were now infatuated by you . They then took a cold shower … LOL … They might even pep talk their dick/pussy before dealing with you. Making sure shit doesn't go hard/wet otherwise it will be very embarrassing. That being said you push them on the wall, they are confuse as fuck, asking question but all you do is giggle with your seductive eye. You went straight to business , you rushed pulling down their zipper or bringing down their panties. If they have a dick, you just wipe out their hard dick. They complain all the time about how wrong this whole thing is and the fact that people may walk in on y’all or maybe that cooking is going to take even more time because you are playing around. Until the last minute, they don’t believe whatever is happening. Blaming it on the vape, alcohol or weed or fucking whatever (even mercury retrograde for some … lol). Until you are inches away from their dick, looking at them with a big smile. Or you are about to enter your finger in their hole asking them for final consent. I heard them (clearly and firmly) say: ‘’ If you do it … there is no stopping after that’’. You go for it. Eyes close because you are not used to giving head. So instead of enjoying their moan or giving them sexy eyes, you pace your breathing and make sure you are moving your head probably to give them maximum pleasure. If they are an owner of a pussy, I see you pumping your finger and looking at them while they have a hand on their mouth trying to keep the moan in. Which makes you laugh even more. They are going to make you take more inches in, this head session is turning into deepthroat. They definitely talk you through it : ‘’ C’mon … you can take it baby girl. That’s it (moan)’’. You are just hoping not to choke on it. If it is a woman, you are taking their hand away and forcing them to be vocal about how good you make them feel. I don’t know how y’all made your way from the kitchen to the bedroom but I see them thrusting deep and slowly inside of you. Completely focus on you. The whole session is very sensual and loving. They even rambled about how much they dream of time like this. If it is with an owner of a vagina, y’all share a lot of orgasm but you were more the one leading and give them pleasure. I am hearing a lot of ‘’ Love, baby, babygirl, honey’’ and ‘’ Right, yes… you love it, cum for me please baby’’. Then it's close, to y’all wake up next morning all happy and they realize the mess that just been achieved. They don’t regret it but now they are realizing they are stuck with you for life because they are officially in love with you.

That's a flashback playing on repeat in their head, reminding them that they have to make you theirs.

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PILE 2

This is actually your energy and not theirs. You are the one going through flashbacks. Also I am getting a 100% straight vibe from this pile. Don’t matter if you resonate more with feminine or masculine energy, all I see is a penis and a punani.

You guys are very awkward when it comes to sex. You guys may be neurodivergent and quite high on the spectrum too. It doesn't matter how much you mask, you can't seem to hit it right. A lot of you have a strong sex appeal but when it comes down to it you're clueless. People need to stop thinking that just because someone is sexy that means they are a sex god. Y’all are very curvy and soft, big boobs, luscious butt and slimmer waist but still with a stomach. Maybe even a fupa. Your hair is long and shiny but I think it is just because of genes. You have your mother's face and her lighter color eyes. People always try to drag you in their bed with your consent. You accept expecting it to be different but you always end up disappointed and the person is extremely pleased but never knows if you actually enjoy it. NEWS FLASH : You did not. You dissociate a lot during sex, y’all may suffer from depression, anxiety or OCD. I see you getting fucked, holding your tits and literally looking at the person on top of you straight in their eye like ‘’Ho is u cool’’.

Flashback.

I don’t know how you met that person or even the setting. I see you opening up and telling them how you never orgasm even though you try your best. They decide to help you, I am not getting FWB. You accept gladly thinking ‘’ what’s one more loser going to do to my body count ? ’’. They make you sit on their lap or on the sofa between their legs. They are talking to you through it like a meditation, they are not loving but more so calming. Telling you to close your eyes and let them do the job. Panties on the ground, you were wearing a skirt. Before you knew it, their fingers were playing with your clit and hole. They ask you to keep your eyes, playing with your nipples. You orgasm, you may have gotten really loud and you never felt so much pleasure. Suddenly your voice gets sexy. Is like they woken the sexy goddess sleeping in you, next thing you know, you are begging them to suck their dick. They are going to refuse, showing you how hard you got them. Before they wipe it out and they ejaculate on you. The vision stops there. The thing that gets you wet is their dick. You guys still masturbate at the thought of them having their dick in your mouth.

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PILE 3

You guys are in a relationship with that person. You guys' relationship is so goals. A lot of y’all friends look up to y’all relationships. That person may be a non-binary. Is like the collision of 2 different worlds when it comes to y’all aesthetic. You guys are straight but your partner is part of the rainbow community. They may also be into alternative art, music and style.

The flashback .

Y’all had sex multiple times before and after that flashback but that one time is like a golden memory for them. You guys were going to a concert of one of their favorite goth or rock bands and you dress up to the T. Y’all were fucking sexy with your makeup, hair (some of y’all even dye your hair a darker or flashy color for the event), body was expose in lowkey trashy way and you were being clingy which boost their ego because every guy around them realize how much game they had bagging a baddie like you. I see y’all having a lot of fun while waiting in line with them and their friends. The concert may have been planned for months because y‘all end up having sex in y’all hotel room.

They didn't even wait for you to get unready, the sec that you walked in they grabbed your hips. I see you trying to scream but their hand comes in your mouth. Before anyone calls the popo, this couple has been having sex and that’s really their dynamic. What fucking surprise me is the fact that I was not expecting this energy coming from them. Like how something so nerdy and awkward is so rough and skillful in the bedroom. It really be the nerdy one … They up your skirt and force themselves in your anus. You guys are playing along with it. I mean duhhhh is y’all dynamic. Is lowkey giving roleplay and bdsm but very lowkey. I hear you say ‘’stop’’ at the same time that shit actually turns you on. They made you orgasm multiple times before dragging you on the bed ( damn y’all are still clothed … I mean your clothes are torn… but anyway chile…). They are now cuddle fucking you and is rough and quick. They are playing with you like you are a sex doll. The stuff I put myself through to give y’all good content; I heard them saying:’’Yeah, yeah, take it. Take it all like the good girl that you are’’. They love calling you good girl, that’s all I keep hearing over and over. Or maybe it is your assigned position in your sexual dynamic. Some of y’all may even have rules and punishment. Anyway let me get the fuck out the rabit hole. The orgasm was literally an euphoric sensation, they are comparing it to Xnax (they are telling me that this is an inside joke between y’all. You guys never did that drug. Or is an important lyric of a song that y’all share). When they were probably done, you were the one that did the cleaning up because they were extremely overstimulated. Between the concert, the abundant love they have for you, the demanding sex, everything became too much. Some of y’all even brought that person flowers because their performance was that good.

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PILE 4

This is your co-worker which I don't think shocks you because you only fuck him as a joke. A way to show them how pathetic they really is. To use him and play with him. I think you and this person are always in some sort of competition at work because your views differ a lot. While others are riding for them because of their last name, their attractiveness and even money. You don't give a fuck and say what the fuck is up. Both of y'all are always competing with each other. What I mean by that is an issue was brought up in a meeting and both of y’all came away with a solution. Maybe y’all boss hints that whoever project we are going to take, this person will be the manager of it therefore make the other person their yes man. Both of you have a big ego so there’s no way. Yes way and they lost. Now I move from this setting to a Halloween party. Also all this doesn't necessarily mean it is corporate related, it could be a college project. When you read a pick a card you take whatever resonates and try to make it work for your situation.

Flashback.

I see you daring them to follow you which intrigues them. Maybe you have worn a cat costume. Y’all were dressed up as animals. They walk in and you pushed them on the bed. There is no lighting except for the moon light. You told them while holding their shoulder, by the way, they were wearing a pathetic last minute costume : ‘’ You really fucking thought you would win (their name)''. You take your black heel and push it on their dick and they fucking whimpered and you laughed. They barely spoke during the experience. You rubbed their dick with your heel while mocking them. Your eye, babe for a long time that’s all I could focus on. Before I even shuffle some cards, the way you looked at them is enough to make them bust. You caress their torso, their thighs and suck off their dick while insulting them. They cum, you try to leave but they want more so you let them suck your tits. I am hearing: ‘’ That’s it. That’s all you are good for. You will never be better than me…’’. Y’all really dislike each other even hate each other. We all know hate is passionate love anyways. You suddenly stand up and leave them wanting more. Every time they lay eyes on you they think about that one time.

They almost develop an unhealthy obsession with you. They have stalked you at some point but knew better so they keep their desire to themself. Honestly they hurt themselves (not self harm but I just don’t know how) not to fall into deep obsession with you.

Half of yall is just a sexual fantasy that someone around you has regarding you.

If you have never seen that person in a sexual sitting, they are big and needy for you, don't let the facade fool you. Take a moment to see how their eyes linger on you and how truly amuse they are about the whole feud between y’all.

PREVIOUS READING

2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)

3) For ALL DECEMBER get 2 readings for the price of 1 : LINK

#tarot #tarot reading #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #divination #18+ tarot #pac #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #love reading #intuitive guidance #intuitive readings #intuition #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #lana del rey #divine timing #divine guidance

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simmerianne93 · 6 months ago

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🌞Endless Summer🌞[Simmerianne93]Children_poses_02

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Hello everyone! How are you today?

It's July 7th and as such, it is my turn to show you my part in the 🌞 Endless Summer Collab 🌞!!

This is the second year I've done a collab for summer. Last year I did a similar collab but a little smaller with 3 incredible simmers in a pool day (you can check that collab right here), but this year I wanted to go one step further and do not do a pool day, but A SUMMER WEEK!... 🌞 Endless summer 🌞 is the result of that tought and I can't thank enough to my 6 talented mates who decided to accept and join.

It has been an incredible week with unmatched talent and I'm not sure if I'm filling the shoe to end this collab on a high but here you have my part!!

When I thought about this pack, I couldn't help but remember those moments when my father, when I was a little girl, taught me to swim. I was 5 years old and I was on vacation in Miami, the only time I was able to travel outside my country... and how much fun I had!!

Certainly, since I was just a little girl, my memories are vague, but the mere fact of remembering it fills my soul.

I wanted to recreate that feeling in these little poses that I bring for all of you. And yes, I was 5 years old, I was just a "toddler" but I decided to use the age of "child" to recreate that moment because I think it can help in storymaking, so that your "children" don't just enter the large pool and magically know how to swim.

I really hope you like this little but funny and cute posepack!!

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But before going to the descriptions of the pack, I leave you the social info of all my collab friends and a link to their work for this collab (click on the name):

---- And this is the end of the collab... or it isn't??? Maybe we have another surprise for you tomorrow!!! .... So stay tune for one last surprise in this

🌞 Endless summer 🌞!!

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Now, about the pack:

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What is on it?

12 dúo poses for an adult sim and a kid sim in a pool + 4 all in one.

--- What do you need?

Andrew poses player.

Teleport any sim by Scumbumbo.

Instructions in the original post.

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TOU

Do not claim my creations as your own.

Do not re-upload or modify my creations.

Do not make money of my creations.

Do not include my creations in Mods folders to download.

Please follow my Term Of Use.

——

Download it now here:

PATREON — [FREE FOR EVERYONE] Alt download: SFS | MEDIAFIRE

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If you want to support me: Patreon | Ko-fi

All my poses overview: Pinterest | Wix | Tumblr

More in-game preview pics of all my poses: Instagram

My socials: Twitter | BlueSky | Instagram | Tumblr

Lives and videos: Youtube

——————

I really hope you like them and I will say in advance: Thank you so much for using them.

@ts4-poses

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diremoone · 1 year ago

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written in fine print | r. sukuna

moving to japan to get a breath of fresh air was supposed to be one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. it still may be, but now you’ve got a problem and you don’t know what to do about it. the problem? ryomen sukuna, one of the wealthiest men on the planet, being… enamored with you. you’ve come fairly far with him as “friends” while keeping him at bay, but after you both spend christmas together, you know that things have changed. and come the first day of the new year comes a surprise that forces you to face your bottled-up truth.

[ Ryomen Sukuna Masterlist ] | part three

w — slowburn, age gap, modern au, older man/younger woman, fluff, mild? angst, this time we get reader’s pov bc it’s time ;3, insecure! reader, self-indulgence, A KISS (but just one for now sorry y’all), reader and sukuna lay their feelings on the table (I’m sorry I couldn’t help but finally get to this part), sukuna gets kinda prose-y lmao, slightly unsatisfied with this fic but I hope y’all enjoy anyway, sprinkle of bittersweet at the end

God, have mercy upon my soul.

The dozens of text messages from your cousin have you sitting on the edge of your bed in absolute disbelief. You haven’t even had any coffee yet, or any sort of something in your stomach. It’s sheer willpower keeping you from throwing up the stomach acid in your belly.

But you do need something. You make your way into the kitchen and nab the biscuits you made yesterday from the bag they were in. You shouldn’t, but you eat all four of them anyway. Then you drink something.

You were wondering why everything was going too good, why life had been so… easy as of late. Now you understood why. It was the calm before the storm. It was the universe allowing you to have some semblance of peace before it decided to throw you into the pit of mental and emotional turmoil that you’d been so great at avoiding.

Why in the world did the universe decide to put Ryomen Sukuna into your life?

That’s the question you have been asking yourself over and over again ever since you decided to take him up on the offer of a first date six months ago. Even worse, why did you even think it was a remotely good idea to get involved with someone over ten years older than you? Universe aside, you should’ve had the good judgement to keep Sukuna away. Your good intuition was something you’d always prided yourself on, so why did you decide to even let Sukuna keep coming around?

You go back to your room and get the phone, rereading over the messages. One in particular your eyes stay on:

A benefactor has paid for nana’s care and set her up in a really fancy, upscale care and rehabilitation facility here. They came and got her this morning to transfer her. When I asked about it, someone from registration said it was a gift for you. Who the fuck did you meet in Japan? 5:16 am

And you know, deep within your soul and in your gut that Sukuna was behind this. There’s no one you know that has the money to pull off something like taking your grandmother from where she was to a facility where she’s going to get more constant help, cleaned, proper rehabilitation. No one else but him.

The coffee maker suddenly beeps, beginning to brew a fresh pot of coffee. You almost jump out of your skin from it. You wait until it’s done before digging out one of the banana nut muffins Shoko brought over two nights ago to pre-celebrate the new year.

You truly don’t know what to feel. You’re unsure about everything. Coming to Japan to get a breath of fresh air from the strain your old life was supposed to be one of the best choices you’ve ever made. But now, all it’s become is a whirlwind of even more, even deeper emotional confusion.

Meeting Yuuji was great. Meeting his older brother? The entire source of the emotional confusion.

You lean against the counter and gaze outside. The snow has finally ceased and you’re sure dozers are out clearing the roads. You can’t help but fall into your thoughts.

For awhile, you’ve had… feelings. You’re not quite sure what they are, but you know that they revolve around the older, rich man you’ve befriended. You know that whenever he’s around, you feel more… open, lighter even. You know he makes you feel flustered, to which you’ve learned to seal said fluster inside of a bottle and remain indifferent in his presence. Every time he looks at you or speaks to you, it makes you feel… giddy. Happy, dare you say it.

And it’s something you swallow down and hide every time it bubbles to the surface, fearing that it’ll be nothing more than the same story as your mother: a heart broken by the letdown of not ever being enough, not being what the man actually wanted, and not being genuinely cared for.

The mug of coffee in your hands grows hot, almost scalding against the skin of your palms. It brings you out of your own mind, just in time to hear your phone vibrate with more text messages, all still from your cousin.

Because apparently fate dropped a man in your lap that was more than ready to give you anything and everything you’ve ever wanted: unconditional love on a gold platter; fate decided that you finally deserve a break from strife and grief, that you deserved to stop eating humble pie, because lord knows you’ve done choked and damn near suffocated on that shit; that you deserved to be cherished and loved and made to be someone’s number one in their life.

You know. You fucking know what Sukuna does to you, how he makes you feel inside. You also know how he wants to treat you and the things he wants to do to you. And perhaps with you, if your gut instinct is right and he wants more than a body to warm his bed.

Who are you kidding? You know you’re right.

But it’s unfortunate for you that all you’ve learned to do is bottle up your feelings and act like they don’t exist. Because you’ve never been loved, not romantically anyway. Especially not like this, from someone like this.

How were you supposed to love? What did it really mean to be in a relationship? You’ve never been in one. Not one that ever really was going to go as far as this. Was what you were feeling all temporary? And if you did get into a relationship, what if he didn’t like you when you got comfortable? What if he didn’t like it when you laughed too hard, or any of the habits you have? What if he was just wanting to play savior and ended up leaving you a few months from now?

You toss your head back and groan. Why? Why was this happening to you?

You opt to spend the day inside, rather than go out like you had planned. You have to text Shoko and Utahime, letting them know that you’re not going to be able to participate in their plans of going out and visiting shrines for the new year. The latter is reasonably mad, but Shoko calms her down in the group chat. Although she does make an innuendo about spending the day with someone else “cozied up in bed” rather than them. You send her a side eye emoji in return on her personal thread.

You change out of your pajamas and into some casual clothes — a dark red long sleeve and some black sweatpants, switching to house socks to regular socks — despite not intending to go out for the day. You do end up on the couch for most of the day, switching your attention from the TV and the messages on your phone more than you care to admit. You hardly eat, and don’t realize it until you can feel your stomach against your spine each time.

All day is basically wasted in front of the television, trapped in your own mind. Trapped in the whirlwind that Sukuna has made of your heart and emotions.

You graze through your entire stock of sweets in less than a day, uncaring if it was unhealthy. Dusk settles on the horizon before you know it and you’re anything but tired. In fact, you’re wide awake.

“What do I do…?” you ask into the open air. You feel stupid doing it, but apparently fate has a response for you.

It’s 9:18 at night when several strong knocks rap at your door.

It’s 9:20 when you decide to finally answer the door.

It’s 9:24 when you realize you’ve got a guest at the front door, the very same man who’s been making you question yourself and your whole life ever since coming to this country.

It’s 9:30 when you question to yourself why you let him in. You didn’t think it through, that much you’re sure of. How could you be when he’s thrown your heart all topsy-turvy and mushed it into goo?

Just looking at him from his back floods your mind and makes your heart race, something you hope you’re able to hide by what you hope is a face of indifference and calmness. You can see the tattoos peek out from his turtleneck, and you have to gulp down your nervousness.

The large mug of fruity tea you’ve poured has now chilled, the ice just barely clinking in the glass. You quickly open the cookie jar on the counter and shove two snickerdoodles in your mouth to stress-eat being prepared for what was coming next.

“I…” you begin, and embarrassingly realize you have to swallow the cookies to talk. “I wasn’t expecting you to… show up.”

Sukuna’s silent for a moment, then replies stoically, “Neither was I.”

You gaze at him longer than you intend to. Your attention is mostly on his tattoos, the little bits that are peeking out from the deep crimson of his form-fitting turtleneck. You watch him readjust the watch on his wrist, partially revealing the tattoo inked onto his wrist. To your surprise, Sukuna actually doesn’t like showing off his tats. He used to in his younger years; he’s still proud of them, but he isn’t as much into flaunting them to the world nowadays.

Sukuna’s deep voice cuts through the air. “Have you… gotten my gift?”

You bite your lower lip. You nod even though he can’t see you. “Yeah… If you mean the one involving my grandmother, then yes.”

“I do apologize if I crossed any lines doing such a thing,” he says. “But I don’t regret it.”

“I can imagine you don’t,” you reply, knowing full-well that him regretting anything was a very rare occurrence. “But… Why? Why would you do that? Go through such trouble to help me… and my family? Just… Why?”

His ginormous frame turns to face you to look into your eyes and answer with nothing short of honesty, “Because I want you to be cared for. I’ve seen happiness in your eyes and I want to keep you happy. I want to be the one making you happy.”

“Buying my love will only get you so far,” you say.

“I know. I want to do more for you. I want… to be more for you. Not just… this. Whatever we have going on,” Sukuna admits casually, crossing his burly arms over his chest. But he doesn’t make eye contact. In fact, he keeps his eyes to the floor, away from your gaze. “I know what I want, although I’m not quite sure how to describe everything I feel… when I’m with you and when I think about you. It’s… I know what it is, I’m pretty sure, but at the same time… I don’t.”

“It’s new for you,” you mumble. Surprisingly, he actually hears you and nods. He doesn’t lie. Not with you.

“I’ve been with many women over the years, all for the same reason. I’ve never felt like falling in love or that it would ever matter. I know lust, I know what comes with that. With you, it’s anything but. At first, yes. But your immediate rejection, you continuing to keep your distance from me and your distaste known made me stop and think.”

You raise your brows. “All it took was a girl with some strong boundaries to make you realize you can’t live off being just horny for then rest of your life?”

Sukuna laughs. He actually laughs. A bright smile crosses his handsome face as his shoulders shake with laughter. He tries to cover it up with a hand, but all it does it muffle it into loud chuckles. It takes a good couple minutes before his chuckles finally fall into a simple smile of amusement. That’s when you admit your own truths. If you were going to be hurt, you might as well get it over with.

“In a way,” Sukuna admits. And then he admits even more, opening his heart and putting it on his sleeve. “You’ve reminded me that there is more to life, that I can be genuinely happy beyond office walls and red light districts. You have made me remember what feeling excited, what being on my toes feels like. You make the air lighter… happier, every time I see you. You… I care for you.”

Sukuna’s last words of admission are watered-down and you both know it. Then again, he says he is new to these kinds of feelings. And at this point, you believe him. You wonder if he knows that you’re just like him — exactly the same: that you’re new to the feelings of love, what it means to be in love. It’s confusing, really. You’re not sure where to begin when it comes to saying the things that Sukuna has seemingly had no problem admitting to you. You can’t just say, “Ditto” and make out with him.

Well, you could, but that’s beside the point.

You swallow the frog in your throat and look at him. He isn’t looking at you but at the ground, almost like he’s unsure of himself.

“You’ve made yourself a cozy place inside me, too,” you speak softly. Your hands don’t leave the mug as you set it on the counter. “We’ve only known each other for barely half a year, you know? You make me wonder if what I’m feeling is love, most of the time. I enjoy you; I enjoy your company. I enjoy the thrill you bring into my life. I… enjoy how weightless you make the world feel. I… I like the thought of being… prioritized. I’m just… confused on whether or not these feelings are rooted in love or something else entirely.”

“And I apologize for making you feel that way,” he replies. “That isn’t my intention.”

You’re quick to your words before he can continue. “Don’t apologize. Please. It’s not your fault. I… I’ve never been in a relationship. I don’t know what love is or what it’s supposed to feel like. I’ve never been loved, and I’m not quite sure how to reciprocate it. I’m afraid I’ll fuck up. Say the wrong thing, not do something right.”

Sukuna’s brows furrow. “There is no right or wrong way to be in a relationship — just yourself.”

“I’ve heard that, just as much as I’ve heard otherwise.”

Silence fills your apartment. You tap your nails against the glass mug, little tinks! resounding. You can’t look at Sukuna now. Not after just admitting to having never been in a romantic relationship. Now, you must seem more of your age than you ever have in his eyes.

“Any insecurity you have is not invalid. I would never disrespect them,” Sukuna finally says, sheer conviction making you shiver.

The giant man stands to take his place not even a foot from you. Magnetism draws you to his face and you cannot look away. His hand comes up and brushes his large fingers across your cheek.

And like an open book, he reads you from the front cover to the very last word, reading off your exterior cover and the interior pages you’ve hidden away. “You’ve carved yourself from early maturity, into someone that your loved ones have needed you to be. You’ve never been able to truly be yourself, be free. You’ve always had to be the rock that everyone has needed, when no one has been for you. You desire to be loved, but not at the expense of heartbreak nor sacrificing the person you’ve molded yourself into for the people you love. You desire to be free above all else, not wanting to be loved unless there’s someone who can love you and give you your freedom at the same time.”

You gape, eyes almost as wide as saucers with your eyelids lined with burning tears. You dip your head and sniffle.

“I want that. I want that for you. I want to be the one to give that to you,” Sukuna continues. “The time we spent together not even a week ago, I want more of that. I no longer want to live the way I’ve been living. I want to live with you, do those kinds of things with you. That sounds corny as fuck coming from me of all people, but that’s the truth.”

You can’t help but laugh. His tone of exasperation at himself was just too funny not to.

“And what happens when you give me those things? Will you be done with me? Move on to the next person?” you ask. “Once you’ve played the part of the savior, won’t those feelings end?”

“I’ll never be done with you,” he answers instantaneously, like it was nothing short of law. “You’ve captivated me, all of me. I’ve already tried pulling myself away a multitude of times. But then one little word of anything about you and you’re all I think about for the rest of the day.”

You sniffle again and laugh. “Did you practice this? You sound like a poet.”

“I can be one if you’d like.” You giggle at that. It’s silly, but you feel like Sukuna would oblige you if you said yes. “But I mean it, every word.”

You nod and whisper, “I know you do.” Because it’s the truth. He’ll never not mean anything he says. Brutal honesty is apart of Sukuna.

The emptiness of your apartment is deafening, it’s silence almost palpable to the point where you feel like you might being to suffocate. But large, firm hands cup your cheeks and bring oxygen into your lungs again.

His hands are warm, so warm. The feeling of being touched like this, so intimately, makes all the blood flow to your cheeks to the point where you think you’ll overheat.

“May I kiss you?” he asks, tone quiet, voice deep and baritone that makes shivers roll up your spine. “At least once?”

You can’t help but bite into your lower lip. The suffocating feeling has returned, just for a different reason. But your instinct goes first — action taking the initiative over the brain — and you nod once more, mumbling out a small “yes” that you chastise yourself for being so meek.

Sukuna’s free arm wraps around your waist and gently pulls you to your tippy-toes. You’re running on instinct, one hand resting on his chest, the other circling behind his neck, eyelids slowly closing as he dives in for the kiss you’ve allowed. And when his hand cradles the back of your head, his lips meet yours, and you swear to everything from heaven to hell that you’re about to explode and die in this man’s arms.

Everything feels like it’s on fire… until it doesn’t. That fire slowly simmers down to a gentle flame, one that brings a sense of contentment.

Sukuna tilts his head, moving your lips and deepening the kiss. You allow it, and it feels like the kiss has sunk to a new depth of desire. Dare you even think or say it be devotion. His lips are warm and sweet on yours; his kiss isn’t one of urgency, but perhaps the desperation of longing. It’s not slow and controlling, not greedy. Whatever this kiss is and all the emotions contained within, you know it makes you at peace and content.

Everything feels perfect.

You both part for air, lips slow to disconnect. You can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed being so out of breath, but hearing the slight heaviness of breath coming from the large man makes you feel less awkward.

“Thought you said you hadn’t been in a relationship before?”

Your reply is breathless, “Never have.”

“Then you must be a naturally good kisser.”

That makes you laugh. You press your head to his chest and giggle away, to which you hear what you think is a chuckle from his throat.

It’s 11:20 at night by the time you look at the clock again. It’s too late for Sukuna to go home. That’s the excuse you use anyway. He’s seemingly more than happy to use the excuse right along with you to spend a night with you.

Come morning, however, things shift back to the way they were before: confusing and lonely. The couch was just as empty as the apartment. Under you was not Sukuna’s body, but a stack of pillows from your bedroom.

The note on the counter about being called in for an important meeting doesn’t do his absence justice either, instead sending every one of your walls back up, twice as high and just as thick as they were before.

Your phone dings with new messages. Utahime and Shoko, both of which declare they’re coming over to drag your ass out of your apartment to go shopping like you should’ve yesterday.

You text them back, telling them you’ll meet them at the mall, that you’re going to get ready and this time you aren’t going to miss out.

You don’t know what to do or what to think. You don’t know if one night of vulnerability means anything more than just being open with another human being. All you know is that you need a break, from yourself, your confusion, from life, and especially from Sukuna.

You need the clarity of a shopping trip and good friends for company, because your hopes for what’s coming next are getting far too high and you’re beginning to really fall in love with Sukuna Ryomen.

taglist: (no longer adding)

#sukuna x reader #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen x you #sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #modern! sukuna #modern! au #jjk sukuna #sukuna fluff

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d1xonss · 1 year ago

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About Masterlist:

~ Currently I am only writing for the character Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead. But I’m likely to write for others later on down the road.

~ Genres very from fluff to angst

~ My main focus right now is the story I’m writing called Desert Rose which, as of now, is still incomplete.

~ New updates will (hopefully) be weekly.

~ I never have any good ideas for oneshots so I’ll be taking any requests people send me!

~ Most oneshots will be mainly female readers unless requested otherwise.

~ Feel free to request things regarding my series as well, oneshots, headcanons, etc. I’m always open to new ideas.

Fluff ~ 🧸

Angst ~ 🖤

Suggestive ~ 👀

Smut ~ 💋

Series!!<3

~ Desert Rose (ongoing) 🧸💋🖤👀

Series Masterlist Seasons 1-5

Series Masterlist Seasons 6-11 (coming soon)

Headcanons ~ Part 1

Mini Oneshots!!<3

~ The Olive Theory 🧸

Summary : You tell Daryl about an old theory you had heard a long time ago, claiming it proved you two were a perfect match.

Oneshots!!<3

~ Enchanting 🧸

Summary : After Daryl meets you at a dreaded get together in Alexandria, his mind is constantly flooded with the thoughts of you. When months go by and he still hasn’t made a move, someone gives him just the nudge he needs.

~ Potions 🧸

Summary : One night when you’re in the middle of your skincare routine, your boyfriend Daryl suddenly becomes intrigued.

~ Chicken Soup for the Soul 🧸

Summary : When Daryl returns home from a longer run, you notice quickly he had come down with something. It takes a little convincing, but eventually, he allows you to take care of him.

~ Don’t Go 🖤

Summary : After returning from a run, Daryl quickly finds out that you had been severely injured while he was gone. The sight of you was heartbreaking, but the thought of losing you forever was even more painful.

~ Older 👀

Summary : When confessing your feelings for Daryl after keeping them bottled up inside for so long, he ultimately rejects you. But you somehow find a way to make him regret it.

~ Older | Part 2 💋

Summary : Things only grow more tense between you and Daryl as you meet for dinner to “discuss” what’s been happening between the two of you.

~ Sunshine 🧸

Summary : Daryl has always been somewhat of a serious man, taking everything going wrong around him to heart as he stewed over them constantly. But lucky for him, you’re always around to cheer him up.

~ A Friend 🧸

Summary : Working and dealing with the walkers outside the fences one day had grown to be too much as you desperately needed to get away from the noise. When you found something else to occupy your time, you slowly realize how boring it became. But luckily, Daryl’s able to keep you company.

~ Bedtime Stories 🧸

Summary : You and Daryl stumble into a library after being chased by a herd of walkers, forcing the two of you to stay hidden in the building for a long while. Though amongst the chaos, a sweet moment seems to unfold between the two of you.

~ Pretty When I Cry 🖤🧸

Summary : From the very start you had been struggling to have a decent relationship with the Dixon brothers. Trying your best to show your kindness since they arrived. But one day Daryl seems to snap after an incident, sending you spiraling in a flurry of emotions. However, he manages to venture back and pick up the pieces he’s broken.

~ Forever 🖤🧸

Summary : For months now, Daryl has found himself going down a deep rabbit hole of the thoughts in which he cannot escape. His insecurities about his age and your relationship is all he’s able to ponder over. But in the end, you make a promise to stick around forever.

~ Sticks and Stones 🧸

Summary : After arriving in the brand new community, you quickly find it’s not exactly what it chalked up to be. An incident occurs, causing you to snap. But Daryl just so happens to be at the right place at the right time.

~ Cigarettes After Sex 🖤💋

Summary : Knowing Daryl for so many years, it was still unclear what was going on between the two of you. Having to get past the fear in order to finally see what you had been missing out on all along.

~ Soap and Bubbles 🧸

Summary : When first arriving to Alexandria, you noticed that Daryl is having trouble adjusting. So, you find a way to help him relax.

~ Fuck it, I love you 🖤💋

Summary : You and Daryl had always been close since the start. But when things grow a little complicated after the Commonwealth, a wedge is created between the two of you. Though when two of your people suddenly go missing, it brings the two of you together once more after being apart for so long. But the question remains; is it enough to save your relationship?

~ Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder 🧸

Summary : When your insecurities start to get the better of you, Daryl manages to come in at the right time to give you the reassurance you need. Wanting to show you how he sees you through his own eyes.

~ Practice Makes Perfect 💋

Summary : When Daryl opens up about his lack of experience with relationships and…other things, he finds your reaction is definitely not what he expected.

~ Something New 💋

Summary : In a fit of heated passion, you accidentally reveal a secret kink you had always wanted to try. But surprisingly, Daryl isn’t put off by the idea

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carlottawllms · 1 year ago

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As It Was

Mason Mount x Reader Angst-ish / Fluff (Exes/Friends to Lovers) Word Count: 8.1K

I absolutely love the friends to lovers trope so here’s to that :) I hope you enjoy it! <3 As always, feedback is very much appreciated.

There are several types of break-ups. The messy ones where person a keeps talking bad about person b. The painful ones where only one person wants to end the relationship whilst the other still has deep feelings. The sad ones where both say they’ll stay friends only to end up becoming strangers.

And then there’s the very rare ones, where the break-up is mutual, amicable and both stay friends. The right-person-wrong-time kind of relationship. The one, where losing the other person for good hurts too much so the friendship is kept alive.

You and Mason were the perfect example for the latter.

As the daughter of Mason’s very first manager at Chelsea, you’d met him very early on and since you’d loved to spend the time after school watching your dad teach kids how to play football, the two of you’d spent a lot of time together. You’d been attached by the hip, a duo that never showed up without the other and throughout the years, something deeper had developed.

At the age of 16 you’d eventually got together and spent the next two years loving each other, but with his loan spells coming up, him – reluctantly – spending more and more time away from you and you starting to think of university, you realised that neither of you were in the right place to keep your relationship alive, so you’d ended it. Mutually. Amicably.

Throughout the years of friendship and dating, you’d been through a lot together; fought battles side by side; been each other’s firsts and biggest supporters. You’d left your footprints on each other’s soul and there was no way either of you would leave your safe haven behind for good.

So, you’d stayed friends. Best friends.

Mason had managed to get himself into the first team, win the Champions League along several other trophies; he’d become POTY in two consecutive seasons and an England international. He’d grown up and turned into a handsome man who despite his success had always stuck to his genuinely kind-hearted and humble personality.

And just like Mason, you’d chosen the perfect career path for yourself as well. You’d become a primary school teacher in London, and you absolutely loved it. The only thing you found a little annoying was the fact that contrary to a regular 9 to 5 job you couldn’t just take a day off whenever you felt like it. Hence why supporting Mason in person had become a little too difficult for your liking.

Especially now, that Mason had moved to Manchester.

“Hi Debbie.”, you smiled the moment Mason’s mum answered the phone.

“y/n darling, long time no speak. How’ve you been?”

Just like your friendship with Mason, your relationship to his parents had never changed. You didn’t talk as much to Debbie and Tony as you used to, but whenever they were in London they made sure to pay you a visit.

The two of you made a bit of small talk until you eventually grew a pair to ask the question that had been haunting you for days now.

“Debbie, I was wondering if I could join you for Mase’s first home game?”

Nervously, you nibbled on the skin around your finger. There was no reason to be worried she could say no, but for some reason you still feared she would.

“y/n, my dear, of course you can. In fact, we’d love to have you with us and Mase would be over the moon. Its just…it’s a Monday, you know?”

“Yeah.”, you smiled. “I know how nervous Mase is and after missing out on so many games last season, I really wanted to be there for him again and I’ve bribed a colleague of mine so I can skip Monday and Tuesday, but I wanted to check with you first. With Megan there I know it can be a bit…tense.”

You heard Debbie sigh and immediately felt bad for even saying something.

Megan was Mason’s girlfriend of about 9 months now and although you hadn’t met her often so far, you could tell she didn’t like you. At all.

She kept making low digs at you whenever Mason wasn’t around, tried to keep him all to himself and – in your humble opinion – liked to use him for her social media activities. You doubted that her intentions with your best friend were good ones, but you kept quiet, as Mason seemed to be happy with her.

You’d simply keep a close eye on her and step in, in case he actually needed protection.

“Actually, you don’t have to worry about that. Megan won’t be there anyway.” The defeated sound of Debbie’s voice didn’t go unnoticed, and you furrowed your brows. She won’t?

“What do you mean she won’t be there?”

To say you were confused would be an understatement. She was his girlfriend, surely, she’d be there for his first real game with his new team? A game he was incredibly nervous about. It would be his first game ever since February and then on top of that in a new stadium with new fans who – at least some of them – still had their reservations when it came to him.

“She’ll be on some sort of holidays by then, y/n.”, Debbie mumbled, and you could easily make out how hurt she sounded. “Apparently, it’s the only time her and her girls can all leave together or something and she said she could probably watch the game on her phone and call him afterwards.”

Your heart dropped into your stomach. She would actually ditch him for a bloody holiday? Anger and disappointment bubbled up in your tummy and you had to take a deep breath to keep your composure.

“What the fuck.”, you whispered. Apparently, Debbie had you on speaker as you could hear Tony scoff in the background. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it, y/n.” He said something else, but you couldn’t quite make out what.

“How did he take it?”

“I don’t know much, but I think he was pretty disappointed. He sounded deflated, a little like when he told us that Chelsea wasn’t planning on keeping him.”

“I can imagine.”, you sighed as the image of his big sad eyes came to mind, breaking your heart a little. You’d hoped to never see him like that ever again.

“He called me yesterday and we spoke about it. Well, he asked me if we wanted to come and that he’d ask Jaz today. I think he knew we’d be there anyway, to be fair, but you know what he’s like.”, she chuckled. “And then he told me in like a half-sentence, that Megan won’t come because of the holiday. I think she told him yesterday.”

You dropped your forehead into your hand, your heart hurting for Mase. He was the sweetest soul you knew, always thoughtful and caring, putting people he loved first. He was just incredibly gentle and loving, never holding back from showing what people meant to him and you hated that the one time he needed someone, that person he’d turned to rejected him.

“You being there would mean the world to him, y/n.”, Tony said suddenly, pulling you from your deep thoughts. “He doesn’t expect you to be there and he said he won’t ask you to come because he doesn’t want to put you in the situation where you feel bad for saying no, you now? He knows you can’t just take a day off in your job and he’s saved you a ticket for the next home game that’s on the weekend.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his thoughtfulness. Despite giving a lot, he never expected anything back and the thought of surprising him on one of the most stressful days of his life, made you feel all warm inside.

“Can you still get me a ticket? Without him knowing?”

“Don’t worry about that, y/n. I’ll take care of that. We will be up there the whole week already. Just let me know when you want to arrive and I’ll sort everything for you, yeah?”

“Thanks Tony.”, you smiled, already feeling giddy at the prospect of seeing Mason soon.

“No, thank you, y/n.”, Debbie chimed in. “Thank you for coming and everything. It means a lot.”

Two weeks later you got off the train in Manchester at just shortly after 6pm. Initially, you’d planned to arrive on Monday morning and surprise Mason after the game, but you’d missed him a lot over the last few weeks – especially as the time difference whilst he’d been in America, had been too big to facetime or speak on the phone – so you’d eventually decided to meet him before the game.

Tony waited for you with a big smile on his face and the moment you reached him, he pulled you into a hug. “It’s so good to see you, y/n. You okay?”

“Bit nervous, to be honest.”, you laughed. “But I’m good, can’t wait to see him and then watch him play again.”

“I get that. We’re all very excited.”, he grinned, taking your suitcase from you as you walked to his car.

The drive to the restaurant wasn’t that far and although you would’ve loved to maybe freshen up in the hotel, the longing to hug Mason and see his pretty face again was too strong. Tony had booked a table in a secluded corner of the restaurant so the family could be together without prying eyes. He’d explained during the drive how apparently half of Manchester was on the hunt to get a photo of their newly added star player, suffocating Mason a little, so he’d tried his best to get him out of the public eye for a while.

Your knees were a little wobbly as you made your way over to the table. Mason was sat with his back towards you and although Lewis had most likely known you’d come, you could see how hard he was trying to keep his facial expression neutral.

“Found this one on platform 3. Looked a bit lonely and figured we’d be good company.”, Tony joked, causing Lewis and Jaz to chuckle, but your attention was solely on Mason who turned his head, glanced at you and looked back down at the menu, only to whip his head around again when realisation hit him.

“What the fuck.” He basically jumped up, the chair nearly tipping over and with two, three big strides, he’d reached you and wrapped his arms around you. “Oh my god.” Mason dropped his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in your familiar scent he’d missed so much and from the way he embraced you so tightly you could tell how much he’d needed this hug.

“I’ve missed you, Masey.”, you whispered quiet enough for only him to hear and in response, Mason just squeezed you gently.

After a very long while – his family had discreetly stuck their noses into the menu – he pulled away, only an armlength though and simply looked at you. His gaze danced over your features, unsure of what to look at first, but eventually he locked his eyes on yours.

“What are you doing here?”, he laughed quietly, a hint of incredulity in his voice.

“Making sure Manchester treats my best friend the way he deserves.”, you winked. “Also I missed you, so I thought I’d come see you for a couple of days.”

“You’re insane, y/n.” Mason shook his head, a bright smile still pulling at his lips. “How long are you staying?”

“Tuesday afternoon. My train’s at 6pm.”

Mason’s jaw dropped in a mixture of shock and surprise. “Wait, what?” The innocently confused expression on his face made him look like a little cutie-pie and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You didn't really think I'd watch your first game in red in front of the tv, did you?”

Mason felt like his heart was about to burst his chest. He’d always hoped to have you there at Old Trafford for his very first game, but the moment the schedule had been released and he’d seen it was a Monday, his hopes to have you by his side for some moral support had basically vanished. So you being in front of him now after thinking of it as an impossibility felt even sweeter.

“I can’t believe this.”, he laughed. “This is some sort of dream or something. Are you really staying for the game?”

“Yes, Mase.”, you smiled. “I’ll be there, wearing your shirt and cheering you on. It’s your first game for United, it’s special and exciting and just as nerve-wracking. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Later that night, you were all gathered at Mason’s. You’d thought Tony had organised a hotel room for you, but it’d turned out that he’d simply – how he’d put it – booked one of Mason’s guestrooms for you.

Initially, you’d been a bit worried that Mase wouldn’t want that much company, as his parents would stay with him as well, but the second you’d mentioned a hotel, he’d only given you a very definite look and the hotel had been off the table.

“I’ll grab myself a water. Do you want something too?”, you asked as you got up from where you’d sat next to Debbie, but both of them shook their heads.

Being in his new house for the very first time, it felt a bit like a maze, but after like three attempts, you eventually found the right door and stepped into the kitchen. A beautiful kitchen.

Matt black cabinets with a lightly bevelled wooden worktop and matching cooking island. On the windowsill behind the sink, he had placed three small herb pots and the small, colour-matching storage jars rounded off the overall picture. You loved it – very much.

“I’m not offended, for Christ’s sake! I’m fucking disappointed, Megan.” Mason’s booming voice made you jump and drop the bottle-opener on the counter. Your shocked gaze found his the second he stepped into the kitchen from some other room – probably the pantry – with his phone pressed to his ear.

His cheeks were flushed, the bridge of his nose bright red and the furrowed brows made his usually so warm eyes appear all angry.

“Sorry.”, you mouthed, holding your hands up apologisingly as you hadn’t meant to accidentally eavesdrop on his discussion with his girlfriend, but Mason just shook his head and sent you a small smile.

“It’s okay, you can stay.”, he mumbled to you before concentration back on his phone call. “It’s y/n. She-“ Mason rolled his eyes and sighed as she’d obviously interrupted him.

You turned away from him, focussing back on the bottle of Desperados as you tried to ignore the fight, but when Mason was in a bad mood, he was difficult to miss.

“Don’t you dare go down that road now, Megan.”, he hissed, hands balling to fists by his side. “Unlike you, she dropped everything, went through the faff of getting a couple of days off to surprise me because she knows how important this game is. She fucking cares about me, whilst you didn’t even think about saying no to a fucking holiday to be there for me this one time.”

Obviously, Debbie had told you how disappointed he’d been, but hearing it from Mason himself made your heart hurt. You knew how much he’d done for Megan and how much he’d given and this one time he’d asked something from her, she’d rejected him.

Mason was a person who deserved the absolute world. He had a soul made of gold, a genuinely kind heart and a bubbly, sparkling personality. He was caring and loving, empathic, supportive and someone to laugh and cry with.

He was one of the best people anyone could ever find on this planet and you hated how she didn’t value or appreciate him even the tiniest bit. It made you incredibly angry and you wanted to take the phone off of him to shout at her, but as it would probably make it all worse you just took a deep breath and opened the bottle Desperados.

“You know what? I’m tired of this shit, I’m tired of you and I really don’t want to discuss this anymore. It’s fucking pathetic and I refuse to let you ruin this for me. Go and have fun with your friends, I couldn’t give less of a shit right now.”

And with that, silence filled the kitchen. You didn’t dare to move a muscle, simply opting for observing Mason out of the corner of your eye and giving him a moment to breathe. Your heart hurt for him and you wanted nothing more than to be there for him and tell him everything would be okay, but you didn’t know if it would be, so you waited for him to take the first step.

Mason ran his hand through his hair and over his face before walking over to where you were leaning against the countertop, fingers nibbling on the label of the bottle you’d fetched yourself. He grabbed the bottle and placed it to the side before pulling you tightly against his chest, head falling into the crook of your neck and he sighed deeply the moment you wrapped your arms around his waist, squeezing him just as tightly.

The last weeks had been a lot, mentally and physically. Coming back from an injury and playing his first minutes after February and on top of that for a new club with new expectations had been draining and all he’d wanted was a bit of support. And a hug.

Mason hadn’t felt either for ages so when you kissed the side of his head softly, nose nuzzling against his cheek, he realised how much he’d truly missed you. Missed holding you and feeling you and your undying support.

“I’m so proud of you, Mase.”, you whispered. “You’ve been through so much and I know how hard and painful it’s been, but you’ve been so strong and stayed true to who you are and I am so so proud of you.”

Mason felt the tears burning behind his eyes and held you a little tighter as his own words failed him. He was thankful you didn’t bring up the phone call and instead did what you did best: Being there for him, holding him and keeping him together.

“I can’t wait to see you play on Monday, wear your shirt with pride and scream for the whole world to hear that you are just the best and strongest person I know.” You kissed the side of his head again, hands brushing up and down his spine in an attempt to calm him as you could feel his slightly erratic breathing.

You could only assume how much everything had weighed him down and how heavy the weight on his shoulders truly was, but you’d do everything to help him carry it.

For a while, the two of you only stood there, wrapped up in each other’s embrace and enjoying a moment you hadn’t been able to in what felt like forever and even when Mason pulled back slightly, he still stayed close.

Gently, he cupped your cheeks with his warm palms, thumbs brushing the soft skin right beneath your eyes as he smiled at you.

“Thank you, y/n. For dropping everything and coming here because I can imagine how much of a faff it must’ve been and I hope you know how much I appreciate that.”, he whispered. “Thank you for being by my side the whole time and holding my hand. For our weekly, if not daily facetime calls and the way you never gave up on me, no matter how annoying and whiny I’ve been. You mean so much to me and seeing you here has made it all so much easier already.”

“I would do it all over again, Mase. Anytime.”

Instead of saying something, Mason just leaned in and pressed his lips to your forehead in a fond kiss, lips lingering a little longer than considered normal, but he didn’t care.

It was you. He could be himself around you, the touchy and silly guy you’d grown up with and he knew you’d never question any of his antics or behaviour and you’d never judge him for any of it either.

And he knew it shouldn’t be that way, but having you back in his arms, knowing that you’d always have his back, no matter what, made him realise how much better he felt whenever you were around.

It made him realise that you were the person he wanted to have in his life. That you were his person. Had always been and would always be.

The game hadn’t turned out the way you’d all hoped it would and Mason had been a bit down, but still it had made you immensely happy to see him play for his new club. As always, he’d given his all and fought til the end, left his soul on the pitch and you couldn’t have been prouder to wear his name on your back – especially with this constant memory of him as a small boy starting his career playing on your mind.

He'd come so far and you found yourself being the lucky one to have witnessed it all first hand. And the bright smile on his face as you’d told him, had more than made up for the result.

As it was your last evening together, you’d all gone out for dinner and had a nice evening together, but as Tony, Debbie, Lewis, Mason and you now sat on the terrace wrapped in thick blankets, you noticed how Mason, who willingly shared a lounger with you kept looking at his phone.

So far, she hadn’t called. Nor had she sent a message. And even if you hoped you were wrong, you couldn’t help but feel that she hadn’t even bothered to watch the game. It made you feel sick to your stomach, knowing that she cared so little about him and his feelings. That she couldn’t even be bothered to at least check the result and send him a little pick-me-up.

She didn’t deserve him and his love. At all.

“C’mon, give it to me.”, you whispered, nodding towards where he’d placed his phone. Mason hesitated for a second before giving in, handing it to you in defeat and once you’d turned it off, you shuffled closer to him and cuddled into his side as he held his arm out for you. “I’m so sorry, Mase.”

“It’s okay.”, he mumbled, burying his nose in your hair. “You’re here, that’s more than I could’ve ever asked for.”

You barely noticed him kissing the top of your head before pulling you into his chest and tightening his hold around you, but the meaning of his words weighed heavy on your shoulders and made your heart speed up.

Did he just imply that you being here was more important to him than his own girlfriend? Surely, you’d just misinterpreted that?

You knew you shouldn’t overthink it too much, but situations like this had the hope you’d buried six feet under, bubble back up. The hope that you and him and your old love had a second chance. That you and him were actually meant to be together.

“I’m gonna miss you, y/n.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, Mase.”

Tuesday passed quicker than either of you wanted and soon enough you found yourself back home in London, with your thoughts still back in Manchester.

From what you’d understood, Megan hadn’t messaged him about the game at all, only calling him on Tuesday morning to check if he was to pick her up from the airport, and whilst you’d expected him to agree, he’d said he had plans already and she should get herself an uber.

You and Debbie had shared a glance, both of you silently hoping Mason was catching on how she wasn’t doing him any good and that he deserved so much better.

He deserved a girlfriend who gave as much as he did, who loved him the same way he loved her and who would go with him through thick and thin, held his hand, fought his corner and defended him when he wasn’t there to do it himself. He deserved someone who loved him unconditionally; who loved him as much for being silly and goofy as for being gentle, caring and loving.

Mason deserved someone who loved and appreciated every single side of him.

Little did you know that Mason felt all of that – with you.

For a week, nothing really changed. You were back at work, facing several questions of the kids in your class about why you’d missed two days of school – you had to promise them to try and get Mason to come to class one day for them to stop pestering you – and as before your visit in Manchester, your daily chats and several facetime calls with Mason weren’t skipped either.

He told you about how training was going, how he was settling in and how Luke had managed to get him out of his house a little more often now. You knew Mason was a bit of a homebody at the best of times, but although he got along well with people very quickly, he loved to stay home even more when he was met with new surroundings, so you were kinda proud of him for getting his bum up and mingle with his new friends.

One thing he never spoke about however was Megan. He didn’t even as much as mention her in a half-sentence and although you were wondering how things were going, you never asked. You’d been by his side for long enough to know that if he wanted to speak about her, he would, so you didn’t push the topic.

Until today.

You’d just got yourself ready for bed and jumped into your warm sheets when the special ringtone you’d set for Mason pulled your concentration away from finding a series to watch before bed.

“Hi Ma-“

“We’ve broken up.”, he blurted out before you could even greet him properly. “Megan and I, we’re over.”

“Oh erm…” You cleared your throat in an attempt to buy yourself some time for coming up with an adequate reaction, but you were too shocked to think properly. You’d obviously always kinda hoped for this outcome as she’d never deserved him, but you also felt bad for him. A breakup was never easy and you knew he’d hoped for her to be it. “I’m sorry, Mase.”

“You’re not.”, he laughed quietly. “You never liked her.”

“No, I didn’t, but I’m sorry for you, you know? How it ended and how she treated you when you gave so much. A breakup is never easy and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.”

You watched him taking a deep breath before he shook his head. “I know this will sound so bad, but I’m actually relieved it’s over.”, Mason admitted with blushed cheeks. “I’ve been thinking about ending it for a while already and when she went on that bloody holiday instead of staying and supporting me, I realised that she wasn’t someone I wanted around anymore, you know?”

Mason locked his eyes on yours and whilst you expected to find sadness or stress, all you could see was relief and that little twinkle you’d missed.

“I realised that she was more of a burden than someone who fought my corner and although I’d sort of felt it before, you going through the hassle of getting a couple of days off and coming up to Manchester for me really was the final nail in the coffin. It was a bit of this if-she-wanted-she-would-moment, you know? Like whilst she couldn’t do that easy thing of saying no to a holiday, you somehow managed to get a couple of days off during the regular school year.”

“Mase, it really wasn’t that diffic-“

“Don’t, y/n.”, he interrupted you gently. “I know taking days off is nothing you can just do, so don’t make it look like it’s nothing. Because to me it meant the world.”

You blushed at his words, knowing he was right, but it still felt weird that he made it out to be such a bit thing. You hated how your tummy flipped whenever he said things like this, whenever he made you feel like you were more than his best friend.

It gave you hope and you despised that. Because there was no guarantee that he still felt like that about you, that those butterflies in his tummy were still going wild at the mere thought of you like yours were. That you were the only thing on his mind as he was on yours.

A couple of weeks passed after that conversation and soon enough, you found yourself back in Manchester. It was the weekend game Mason had saved you a ticket for, but whilst initially you’d planned on just staying for the game to avoid any weird tensions with Megan, now that she was out of the picture, you’d decided to arrive on Friday and stay til Sunday.

Mason had picked you up from the train station before taking you to Carrington where he would show you around after training. You’d protested first and said it was too much and you would wait at his, but he hadn’t taken no for an answer and practically dragged you along.

And that was why you were currently sat next to Luke on a bench watching the United players go about their training. It was nice to see Mason not only working hard, but also getting along so well with his teammates as in between the small sessions he was constantly joking around with Rashy and Rasmus.

When he’d told you he’d leave for Manchester, you’d known already that making friends and settling into the team wouldn’t be a problem for him at all, but actually seeing how everyone really liked him made you feel all happy and relieved.

“It was very nice of you to come for that first game, you know?” Luke nudged your shoulder with his. “He’d been pretty down before for some reason and proper nervous, but then all of sudden for that last training before the game he’d turned up with like the biggest smile ever on his face. The guys were teasing him for getting some or whatever, but he simply shook his head and when I asked him, he told me that you were here and would stay for the game.”

You could feel your cheeks heating up at his words, thinking back to the moment where Mason had seen you in that restaurant, not believing his eyes for a second and you could imagine the good mood he must’ve been in the next morning.

“You’re all making it out to be something so big. It was his first game for United and I’m his best friend, obviously I wasn’t going to miss such a big day.”, you mumbled as you absentmindedly played with the hem of your hoodie – well, Mason’s hoodie actually. He’d left it with you the last night he’d stayed over before making the drive up to his new home and it had been your comfort piece of clothing ever since.

“y/n, I don’t know if you don’t want to admit it or if you’re actually dumb, but you two? You’re not just best friends.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”, you mumbled. “Yeah, he might be my ex too, but he’s my best friend, Luke. Has been forever and will always be.”

“Oh, c’mon.”, he laughed. “I see the way you look at him, y/n. That’s not even close to how someone would look at their best friend and I think you know that, hm?”

When you stayed quiet, your gaze locked on your shoes, Luke wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side a little.

Ever since you’d met him years ago, he’d been like an older brother to you and you appreciated how he’d taken Mason under his wing and helped him settling in, but right now you hated what he was doing. You didn’t want to admit to yourself, let alone to him, that you still had deep feelings for Mason. Feelings that you shouldn’t have as his best friend. You knew that he still cared a lot about you, but you weren’t convinced he still loved you in the way you loved him.

“Those feelings will never go away, y/n. You didn't break up because the feelings were missing, but because it just wasn't the right time for the two of you. It’s only natural that you’re not over each other and if you ask me, you should really give yourselves a second chance. Not many have what you have, you know?”

“I don’t know Luke.”, you sighed. “He’s fresh out of a relationship and I know he really liked her and hoped for her to be the one who’d stay with him.”

“No, he didn’t. Well, at least not really. Look, I’m not in the place to tell you much about this, but y/n, don’t push him away. He worships the ground you’re walking on and would give his life to make sure you’re okay. Trust your own feelings and maybe take a little risk. Sometimes it’s worth it, you know?” Luke sent you a wink and patted your back in a reassuring manner, whilst his words were slowly sinking in.

A little while later the training session was over and after a shower, Mason was ready to show you around Carrington. A smile graced his face as he showed you his little cubby in the dressing room and although it still felt a little weird seeing that Manchester United badge next to his name, you couldn’t help the pride rushing through you at the sight.

“You’re really happy here, aren’t you?”, you asked as Mason pulled you along to the cafeteria where he’d promised you a coffee.

“Yeah.”, he nodded, squeezing your shoulder a little. “I won’t lie, it’s still a little weird after having spent my whole life at Chelsea, but I’m happy here. Like everyone is nice, they welcomed me straight away and working with the team feels really good.”

“That’s really good to hear. You know I-“

“Oi, Mase, don’t you want to introduce us to your girlfriend?”, Rasmus, one of the teammates Mason seemed to be closest to, interrupted him as he jogged over with a bright grin on his face.

“Rasmus, this is y/n.”, Mason nodded, and your cheeks flushed when he didn’t bother to correct his teammate and tell him that you were his best friend. “y/n, this is Rasmus.”

“We’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh have you?”, you asked, raising an eyebrow as you fixed your gaze back on Mason, who nervously dropped his head with blushed cheeks.

“Well, this one never shuts up when it comes to you.”, the young man teased before pulling you into a hug. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“Højlund, hands off! I told you I want a shot with her.” Diogo, someone you’d met after Mason’s first game, came over and jokingly pushed Rasmus out of the way before hugging you as well. “It’s good to see you again. How have you been?”

You made a bit of small talk with Diogo, not realising how Mason grew more irritated by the second as his teammate kept laughing at things you said and touching your arm, but when Mason cleared his throat for the second time, you turned to look at him.

“I thought we came here for coffee?”, he asked, clearly annoyed by something and whilst trying to figure out what was wrong, you missed the meaningful glance Diogo and Rasmus shared.

“Yeah, sorry. Got carried away a little.”, you smiled sweetly, squeezing his arm before saying goodbye to the two men. “Do you want to grab one here or on the way home? I can imagine you’d like to flop down on the sofa.”

Mason just shrugged. He still felt too irritated by his friends’ behaviour to give it a proper thought, so he simply followed along when you made the decision to stop at the local bakery and go home for a relaxed afternoon on the sofa.

The drive back home was unusually quiet, but you figured that he was probably tired from the training session and needed a moment to himself.

But he wasn’t tired – at least not only. He was bloody furious. Countless of times he’d told Diogo that you were off limits, and he shouldn’t even try something and instead of listening, he’d decided to go all flirty on you. What if you actually liked him?

Once back home, the situation didn’t necessarily improve. As the both of you had flopped down on his sofa, with your legs draped across his, Mason had started to absentmindedly caress your calf like he always did, but the deep crease between his brows didn’t seem to want to disappear anytime soon and since he still didn’t want to talk, you gabbed your phone and messaged your sister.

He glanced at how you were typing away on your phone and whilst he knew it could be anyone, the pathetic fear of it being his teammate ate him alive. He noticed the way you smiled at the text you’d received and the longer he stared at you, the more he felt the anger bubbling up inside of him.

“So, you’re saying you came here for me but instead of talking to me you decide to message my teammate?” Mason cringed internally. He’d not intended for it to sound that accusatory and when you raised your eyes, a hint of hurt in them, guilt spread through him.

“You’re the one who doesn’t talk to me, Mase. Ever since we got home, you’re being weird and mulling about whatever it is.”, you replied, an annoyed tinge in your voice, but your best friend stayed quiet. “I am here for you, you know that very well. And for the record, I texted my sister, asking if she’s okay cause she’s been struggling with morning sickness those last few days.”

Mason dropped his head against the back of the sofa, a deep sigh leaving his lips as he closed his eyes, and you knew something was up. You pulled your legs back and shuffled over to him.

“Mase, talk to me. What’s up?”

Softly, you gripped his chin between your fingers and turned his head and when he eventually opened his eyes, you could see the conflicted look in his chocolate ones. You returned his intense gaze for a moment, taking in the warmth and softness and when those butterflies started to go wild in your tummy, you thought back to Luke’s words.

Trust your own feelings and maybe take a little risk. Sometimes it’s worth it.

“Why would Diogo messaging me be a bad thing, Mase?”, you asked, hoping for him to give you the answer you so desperately wanted to hear. The answer that could pave the way back to the relationship you were missing so much, but again your best friend decided to stay quiet.

“Jesus, Mase.” You rolled your eyes, getting a little annoyed at his attitude when all you wanted was to spend a couple nice days with him. Well and because he wasn’t giving you the answer you wanted to hear. “You’re being childish, you know? Just answer that bloody question. What’s up? He’s your friend and you said he’s nice so why would it be a bad thing?”

“Because I asked him not to!”, Mason growled. “He asked about you once you’d left last time and I told him you are off limits and not his to try something with. And now you’re back and all he does is being all over you and flirting with you whilst I’m right fucking next to him.”

Mason’s gaze flickered over your whole face before dropping to his hands shyly as he was suddenly aware of what he’d hinted at in his outburst. His cheeks burned and he wished he could pretend he hadn’t meant anything by it, but this was you…there was no pretending when it came to you.

“Are we jealous, Masey?” You raised an eyebrow, trying to downplay how his words and their meaning had affected you, but your thundering heart made it difficult to sound all cool and kept-together.

“Yes.”

It was a simple answer. A straight-forward one as he looked you dead in the eyes without as much as a hint of a smile on his face.

For a moment, your heart stopped beating and your breath caught in the back of your throat as you hadn’t expected him to admit it just like that. And being honest with yourself, you didn’t really know what to do with that information now, but Mason beat you to it anyway as he suddenly shot up from the sofa, running his hands through his hair before turning to look at you with a wild expression in his eyes.

“Do you really think I want to see you with one of my teammates or friends? Fuck me, y/n, I don’t want to see you with anyone who isn’t me and it’s making me fucking mad.”, he exploded as he ran his hand down his neck in despair. “You’re my best friend, the very best person in the world and instead of being happy with having you like that, I can’t help but still be fucking in love with you.”

“Mase, I-“

“Whenever I was with a woman, all I could think of was you and yes I know how fucked up that sounds!”, he hissed, completely ignoring your attempt at speaking. “And then came Megan…in the beginning it was okay, but then after a month or so I started comparing her to you and no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that it could work, with each day I discovered more things I missed about you. After all those years, after trying to get over you several times, I still keep thinking about you in a way I shouldn’t and I hate myself for it, y/n.”

Somewhere in the middle of his rambling, he’d stopped pacing and now that he leaned against the dinner table, you got up, wiped the tears from your cheeks and slowly walked over to where he’d dropped his face into his hands.

“Mase.”, you whispered as you gently peeled his hands away, trying to catch his eyes, but Mason dropped his gaze to the floor. “Hey, look at me please.”

“This is all so very fucked up and I’m so fucking sorry, but I can’t help myself. I understand if you need space or want to go home and I’m sorry I’ve ruined things…I just…I’m sorry.”

When he raised his head and his glassy eyes locked on yours, you gulped heavily. It wasn’t difficult to spot the fear of losing you and the desperation years of pent-up emotions had brought to the surface.

Mason had buried his teeth in his bottom lip, a nervous habit he’d developed over the years and before you even knew it, you’d brought your hand up, cupped his jaw and gently freed his lip.

“You haven’t ruined anything, Mase.”, you mumbled as you took in his adorably flushed cheeks and bridge of his nose. Mason was pretty at the best of times, but whenever his soft skin was all rosy and made his freckles pop a little more, he looked like god’s gift to earth.

“There’s no need to be jealous. I’ve always been yours and will always be because just like you I’m still so madly in love with you it makes me go insane and I couldn’t get over you even if I tried.”, you explained as fresh tears made it past the last line of defence. “I miss you so much and I know I still have you, but I miss being with you all the time, holding your hand and being in your arms, falling asleep with you and waking up with you and-“

“Kissing you.”, he interrupted you quietly, gently catching the tears with his thumb. “I miss everything about you, y/n. Every little thing, but most of all, I miss kissing you. Just being able to kiss you and feel that love is what I miss every single day.”

Now it was you who pulled her bottom lip between her teeth to stop the sobs from escaping, but Mason was quick in removing it from its trap and when he didn’t move his thumb away, you pressed a soft kiss against its pad.

Both of you froze for a moment, aware of the heavy tension the conversation had brought and you simply stared into each other’s eyes, very unsure of how to proceed.

Your tummy churned in anticipation as your hands slowly moved up his chest, one settling on his toned shoulder, whilst the other grabbed the back of his neck, fingertips just about burying themselves in the soft hair on the back of his head.

Mason must’ve felt the way your legs slightly wobbled, as he softly gripped your waist with one hand. An action that caused your shirt to ride up a little and when his warm hand cupped the naked skin of your waist, a shiver ran down your spine.

Smiling, he shook his head when he noticed how you still reacted to his touch. “I’ve missed you so much, y/n.”

It was an ordinary thing for him to say, but the meaning behind this one wasn’t ordinary at all. He’d missed you the same way you’d missed him throughout the last years.

“I’ve missed you, too Mase.”

When you stared into his gentle eyes, reading all those emotions in them, your tummy filled with giddiness and warmth, but it wasn’t long before your gaze dropped to his slightly parted lips. And so did Mason’s.

With his free hand softly cupping your cheek, he tilted your head back a little and when his thumb rubbed right beneath your eye, he leaned in and brushed his lips against yours in the softest of kisses you’d ever received.

Your fingers tightened slightly on his shoulder as your knees threatened to give way and although it wasn’t even close to being enough, this one soft kiss alone had mended all the broken and hurting pieces inside of you.

Mason pulled back rather quickly, searching in your eyes for discomfort or hesitation, but when he didn’t find any of it, he leaned back in and kissed you again. Properly this time. His lips moved against yours as if you’d never been apart for years and the feeling of finally being home had you melting further into his body.

When he playfully bit your bottom lip and a small gasp escaped you, Mason used his chance to push his tongue past your lips and glide it against yours. Both of your tiny moans got lost in each other’s mouths and when you eventually parted to catch your breaths, it was way too early for both of your likings.

With his hand still cupping your cheek, he kept you close, foreheads touching each other’s and hot breaths mingling as neither of you were ready for more distance yet.

“I love you, y/n. I’m in love with you and I promise I won’t let you go again.”, Mason murmured quietly before pecking your lips again. “We’ll make this work because I need you as much as you need me. Best friends isn’t what we’re meant to be. Okay?”

“Okay.” Lost for words, you nodded quickly. “I love you, Mase. So much more than you could ever imagine. This is all I want in life, okay? You are all I want.”

And with an incredulous chuckle, Mason pulled you back in for another heavy kiss.

—————

I genuinely hope you enjoyed reading this. You would make my day if you left a little feedback so I can see what you liked and what I can improve on 🩷

#mason mount #mason mount imagine #mason mount x reader #mason mount fanfic #football imagine #manchester united #football fanfic #manchester united imagine #mason mount angst #mason mount fluff #angst #fluff

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yutasbellybuttonpiercing · 1 year ago

Text

Soulmatch™ — App-grade your love life!

(new picture bc this is the renjun i imagined in this)

pairing: huang renjun x reader

au/genre: smut, humor, fluff, angst, strangers to enemies to lovers...?, non-idol!AU

characters: huang renjun, f!reader, best friend!jaemin, best friend!haechan, friend!chenle, renjun's parents

word count: 24.807 words (oh my god)

general warnings: mentions of cheating, men being dudes and dudes being bros, lack of communication, haechan is a milf hunter, trust issues, insecurities regarding relationships, hook ups, smoking, alcohol, mentions of vomit (nothing graphic or detailed, literally just the word), mentions of erectile dysfunction (???), emotional manipulation..? past na jaemin x reader, implied past huang renjun x wong yukhei / lucas, toxic masculinity, daddy issues, haechan and jaemin talk very vulgarly and do not know boundaries, mentions of virginity, crying, heartbreak, author makes use of their limited knowledge of tarot.

smut warnings: ...hate sex...?, unprotected sex (nuh-uh!), fingering and brief oral (f receiving), face-fucking, switch!renjun, switch!reader (?), pet names, a lot of imagining sex, brief choking, mentions of anal, creampie.

synopsis: Renjun is a hopeless romantic, his goal is to meet his perfect match by the end of the year, maybe even his soulmate. The perfect solution: an experiment for finding love through an app. Renjun doesn't care who it is, as long as they're a perfect match, he thinks. But then you show up...

a/n: i really love this so much. it's a bit different from what i usually do bc it has a real storyline! it's complicated (not really)! i really poured my heart and soul into this. i love renjun so much. argh! also, why do my endings always feel rushed???? help???

taglist: @she-is-dreaming @nctzennikki09 @babyjenono @noonaisreading

"Why the fuck do they need information on my favorite toys from ages five to ten?" Renjun groans, rubbing his temples before quickly grabbing ahold of his phone to facetime his mother. The ringing sound of his phone had always managed to annoy him, and he wonders whether there'd be a section in the forms where he could put that down.

Staring at himself on his screen, he fixes his brown hair. It had gotten quiet long over the past few weeks since his last haircut. Admittedly, he hasn't had the energy to leave the house, really, thankful for his freelancer job that allows him to work from the confines of his own four walls. Although, he'd thought about growing his hair out anyway.

Finally, his mother answers the phone.

"No, it's Renjun... No, turn the TV down! Down! Lower the volume," his mother shouts, not at him, but at what he could only assume is his father, judging by the Jackie Chan movie playing in the background, that after all these years, he can identify by the sounds only.

"Hello, Junnie," his mother finally addresses him, a gentle smile on her face, a harsh contrast to the annoyed frown she'd thrown at her husband earlier.

"Hey, mom," Renjun says, tapping on his own video so it would fill the screen instead of his mother's.

"How are you doing?"

"Fine, fine. Uh, listen. Do you remember which toys I liked when I was 5?" Renjun finally lets his hair fan over his forehead in peace, getting frustrated that it's not staying in the exact place he wants it to. He's only talking to his mother anyway. That woman'd wiped his ass a few years back, so why bother.

"What an odd question," she grins, briefly getting distracted by something happening behind her phone which she shoos away with her hand and a tight lipped frown that disappears as soon as he lays her eyes back on her son.

"I just need to know. It's really important."

"Okay, let me think. I believe you liked this one thing- this squishy" – her hand squishes the air in front of her phone – "what is it called?"

Renjun can hear his father's voice from behind the phone, "what? Plushie?"

"Yes! You had a plushie that you really liked!"

"A plushie..." Renjun mumbles, filling the letters into the field, "what color?"

"It was a cow."

"So black and white?"

"Those are the usual cow colors."

"Okay. And when I was six?"

"Honey, what do you need this for? Is it still this love calculator thing? You know I read that article about it online-" His mother raises her brows in concern.

"Yes, but I didn't want to say it, because-" Renjun's words get cut off by his father's obnoxiously loud voice as he yanks the phone from his mother's hands, his big head coming into view and Renjun has to immediately roll his eyes.

"That's nonsense, son, and you know it. Anyway, when will you come by again? I bought steak. You know no one can make steak like I do!"

"Yes, I know. I won't be able to make it any time soon, though." Renjun sighs, fingers fiddling with a loose string sneaking its way out of the couch cushion.

"What if I told you we had some fine wine?" – "Stop dragging our son into alcoholism," Renjun's mom finally wins the phone back, but Renjun can still hear his dad's laugh in the background.

Renjun huffs. "So? Year six?"

"Honey, I'm really not sure. You've had a fire truck phase, then enjoyed dinosaurs, then couldn't get enough of those collectable horses. You were a very diverse kid with so many different interests. I don't think you can categorize that or sort it into years. Just say that you liked all kinds of toys–"

"Even girls' toys!" His father laughs.

"Alright," Renjun sighs, pressing his lips tightly together before wishing his mother a good night and ending the call.

"All kinds of toys..." Renjun mutters to no one but himself as he types his answer into the box, shaking his head. He's been filling out these forms for days on end, and slowly he starts believing his parents' words that it's just nonsense.

But it is his only hope.

_____

"A what for what?" Donghyuck asks, mouth as full of burger as Renjun's own, hence why he couldn't understand him the first time. Renjun holds up his hand, chews aggressively, then swallows hard.

"An experiment for finding love," he explains a second time, and the crease in between Donghyuck's eyebrows only seems to be getting deeper with every word that leaves Renjun's lips.

"What the fuck is that?" Donghyuck asks (assumingely, Renjun still can't understand him over the huge bite of patty and bun inside of his mouth).

"You give a whole bunch of information about yourself to the scientists, and they use some software to find your ideal partner," Renjun explains briefly. There's a bit more to it than just that, but he doesn't want to overwhelm Donghyuck's brain while he's eating.

"Pff, okay?" Donghyuck says, a few crumbs of- whatever that had been only mere seconds ago flying out of his mouth and directly onto Renjun's forearm. The older contorts his face in utter disgust, shaking the sticky pieces of food off of his skin.

"You're a pig, Donghyuck," Renjun states, wiping the spot with his napkin because he can still feel Donghyuck's saliva on himself.

"I might be a pig, but at least I got game." Donghyuck finally swallows, grinning proudly with a small piece of lettuce stuck in between his teeth which Renjun has yet to decide telling him about after that insult.

"You don't have 'game'," Renjun spits, fingers motioning quotation marks, "you just have low standards. You'd fuck everything that bends over in front of you."

"That is not true!"

"Need I remind you of what happened with Chenle's mom?"

"She is a milf!" Donghyuck whines, letting his hands weakly fall down onto the table.

"Whatever." Renjun sighs. "Point is: I'm not lacking game, I just want to wait for the right person."

"Alright, two explanations, same outcome: your dick is dry as fuck," Donghyuck nods, pointing his fry at Renjun before he drags it through his vanilla milkshake and stuffs his mouth with it. Renjun presses his lips together, frowning slightly as he imagines the taste of that. "So when are you getting banged?"

"I don't want to get banged, Hyuck," Renjun answers, fingers coming up to rub at his temples. He knows he's lying, Donghyuck knows he's lying, so why did he lie? "There is more to it than sticking my dick up a hole."

"Just any hole? You didn't specify that it should be a pussy?" Donghyuck's eyes widen and he stops his motions. Renjun watches anxiously what a large amount of time Donghyuck's been holding a new fry into his milkshake for.

"I didn't. I don't care."

"You'd shag a dude?!" Donghyuck's shrill voice attracts the eyes of several people sitting around them.

"I don't know why you needed to let everybody know about that," Renjun say through gritted teeth, "but yes. I don't mind."

"I didn't know you were bi," Donghyuck finally sucks the fry into his mouth, then cleans his fingers with his tongue.

"I'm pan."

"Same thing."

Renjun opens his mouth to protest, but he's honestly a little drained to dispute with Donghyuck right now. Wow, what has he become...

"So, when are you finding real love, then?" Donghyuck tries again, empathically sensing that he just scratched at Renjun's teasing-limits and should therefore tone it down a little before he loses a friend.

"I finished filling out the forms a couple of days ago. They have to analyze it and then find someone in their data base. I'm not sure how long it's going to take," Renjun explains, losing a tad of hope with every word at the realization. It's probably going to take forever.

"Okay, then what do you say: one last time going out on pussy hunt with the boys?"

_____

Renjun realizes that this is not one of his proudest moments as he stands leaned against the bar. On the outside, he might look cool and relaxed (or at least that's what he strives for), but he's honestly close to being shit-faced and needs the bar for not losing his balance. Admittedly, it's been some time since Renjun's last time out and he's been a bit nervous.

"This is great, huh?" Chenle says next to him, cool as ever as he leans his back against the bar, keeping his balance with only his forearms. Renjun envies him.

"Totally," Renjun retorts sarcastically, but Chenle doesn't seem to pick up on it.

His other friends had already abandoned him, always with a dirty grin as they got dragged away by a pretty girl. Renjun just can't get behind this whole thing of hook-up culture. Why would you want that when you could- never mind, Renjun understands why people hook up. He really shouldn't judge other people when he's the one who signed up for a love experiment.

"So I heard this is going to be your last time going out with us?" Chenle asks, then takes a sip from his beer bottle. Renjun likes hanging out with Chenle, but the younger's busy schedule doesn't offer much time for friend activities. Chenle is generally laid back and doesn't judge others. Well, not really, he just likes to tease, but generally speaking, he is a good person to open up to.

"Yeah," Renjun answers shortly, not in the right state for a long conversation.

"Because of that love app?" Chenle asks, and Renjun briefly looks over at him to see a teasing smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Yeah," Renjun repeats in defeat.

"I think it's cool," Chenle says, corners of his mouth turning downwards making him look impressed, but Renjun doesn't seem convinced. "You know, real love. It's rare these days, I think it's admirable. Really."

"Thank you," Renjun says, a gentle smile on his lips. "Hyuck's been teasing me a lot for it, but I just.. don't like this hook-up culture. I want to settle down."

"I get you, man." Chenle nods, clinking his beer bottle with Renjun's glass that contains the last few drops of a cocktail, then empties his bottle. As if on command, a girl leans against the bar next to him, whispers something into his ear while tugging at his sleeve. A grin forms on Chenle's face before he turns to Renjun.

"Sorry, gotta go. She says she needs Daddy." Chenle winks at Renjun who gives him a combination of a genuine chuckle and an awkward smile in return, then waves at Chenle's figure getting dragged towards the restrooms.

Renjun sighs, then his eyes scan the crowd. It's stuffy, the fog machine on a too high setting making it hard to even make out faces. It also feels hot, no wonder considering the amount of bodies dancing and sweating to the sound of the music, and the entire atmosphere feels too uncomfortable to find someone he could- sleep with. All of his friends are gone anyway, there's no way they could check if he got with someone or not. Sighing once again in defeat, Renjun decides to call it a night. He steadies himself, then tumbles over to the door, pushing it open to be hit by cool air. He immediately feels like he's drank 2 glasses of alcohol less than he actually did.

"Cigarette?"

_____

"This is not something I want to brag about," Renjun says the noon after, his butt placed on a chair in Donghyuck and Jaemin's man cave. It's actually just their shared home, but judging by the looks and smell of it, Renjun cannot not call it a man cave.

"Couldn't get it up?" Jaemin asks, an understanding nod moving his head. The younger looks messed up, respectfully, his hair tousled and eyes still not completely adjusted to being awake, the size of the cup of coffee in his hands an indicator of how he's feeling right now. Donghyuck really doesn't look any better, his body leaned over the table with his forearms supporting his weight.

"What? No!" Renjun shakes his head with a frown. He really loves his friends, but sometimes he wonders why he's even friends with them.

"Did you puke on her?" Donghyuck covers his mouth with his hand. Yeah, Renjun wonders in times like these.

"No."

"Did she puke on you?"

"No! There was no vomit involved," Renjun explains, eyes widened in alarm. This conversation slowly but surely makes him wonder how his friends' hook-ups tend to go... not that he wants to know, considering all this talk about throwing up.

"Then why are you not sharing every single detail?" Jaemin grins, scooting his chair closer to Renjun until he's uncomfortably pressed up against his cheek, reeking like coffee and sleep.

"Because..." Renjun frowns in defeat. "Because she was gone this morning."

"And? What, are your balls itchy?" Donghyuck raises his brows.

"What? Why would my balls be itchy?" Renjun whines, finally peeling his cheek away from Jaemin. "She didn't give me an STD, nor an UTI. W-we used a condom, I think."

"You think?" Donghyuck laughs, straightening his back from being leaned over the table for too long. "Did our Renjunnie hit it raw?"

"Honestly, I don't know why we're talking about this?"

"Did her pussy grip you too tightly to pull out?" Jaemin asks, nodding understandingly while padding his shoulder, "happens to the best of us."

"You're a maker, Renjun," Donghyuck adds.

"First of all, I don't know what that means. Second of all: the sex was fine! Great even-" Renjun tries to defend himself and his hook-up, even though he's not entirely sure why, considering she, well, left without a trace.

"Did she smell good?"

"What, her vagina?"

"Everything."

"Uh- yes? She used perfume, and everything else smelled healthy, I guess. But what I'm trying to say is-"

"Jaemin you bastard! You really have a problem, fucking panty sniffer!" Donghyuck laughs loudly, making Renjun instantly aware of his own hangover.

"Sue me," Jaemin leans back grinning, hands coming up in faux defense.

"It bothers me that she snuck out without even saying anything!" Renjun shouts, palm coming down on the table top with such force that both of his friends jump. It goes silent for a while until Donghyuck opens his mouth once again.

"I understand, man." He leans forwards, placing a palm on Renjun's shoulder. "That was really disrespectful of her." "Not cool," Jaemin chimes in supportively. "But look on the bright side: you'll never have to see her again."

"I guess that's true," Renjun mumbles, "but-"

"But?"

Hesitantly, Renjun looks into Jaemin's face, then into Donghyuck's. "It was really good."

Chaos breaks loose, both of them cheering loudly. Donghyuck begins laughing until his knees hit the floor – an impressive action considering the amount of alcohol his system has to fight – and even Renjun manages to crack a smile.

_____

"Jun, you might wanna see this," Donghyuck proposes hesitantly from the other room. Renjun, already annoyed about having to make his way all over to the living room and abandoning his brewing tea, sighs. What in the world could be important enough to summon him from the kitchen?

"Can't it wait?"

"Believe me when I say you might wanna see this."

Renjun aggressively throws his hands in the air for no one to see, he can't live in peace for even a second with this guy. Still, he stomps over, standing in the door frame with furrowed brows and crossed arms. "I swear if this is some stupid shit again-"

"It's your dating app."

Renjun rolls his eyes, "they've been sending useless messages for the past four months, I don't fucking care."

"It says they found a match." Donghyuck finally looks up from Renjun's phone, eyes wide and mouth shaped into an 'o' form. Renjun's own eyes bulge out at the preposition. "What?!"

He stumbles over, ripping the device from Donghyuck's fingers and holds it close to his face. Indeed, there's the notification. They found them. They found someone!

"Man you should really get your eyes checked if this is how-"

"Shut the fuck up, I'm the happiest man alive!" Renjun beams, smacking Donghyuck in the back of his head without lifting his gaze from the screen. Donghyuck mewls, and it sounds a little too much like a moan, but everybody knows Donghyuck is a little pain slut, so Renjun pays him no mind.

Renjun instead klicks on the notification, the application he hasn't visited in over half a year popping up slowly. There it is. The moment Renjun had anticipated for such a long time. He's a little disappointed that he can't visit this person's profile or anything, but he quickly forgets about it as his eyes land on a button that spells: 'send an invitation'.

"Hyuck, you have to go," Renjun announces, causing Donghyuck to lift his head, gaze drifting away from his own phone screen to look at Renjun perplexed.

"Eh?"

"Leave! I have to get ready," Renjun whines, peeling Donghyuck off of his couch by his wrist. Donghyuck complies balky, but lets himself get pushed out of the front door that Renjun closes in his face immediately, then rushes into the bathroom.

The invitation was sent for tonight, 8 pm. That means he has four hours to get himself and this shit hole he calls his home ready, and the task seems nearly impossible. That is until he finds himself, embarrassingly out of breath, ruffling his hair one last time in front of the mirror by the front door before the doorbell rings. He made it just in time.

His hands shake as he presses the button that opens the door, and a little harder even as he grips the handle to open the door to his apartment.

"Get a grip," he tells himself quietly, then puts on a smile as he listens to the footsteps climbing the staircases. His heart beats rapidly against his ribcage as his eyes focus on where is soulmate is going to appear in the next few seconds.

There, a foot comes into sight, followed by...

"You?!"

Silence.

"Hi?"

"I'm gonna need a minute-"

After splashing cold water in his face in the bathroom and pulling himself together, Renjun comes back to find you sitting on his couch, looking a little nervous, but generally contained and not as bothered by this disaster as Renjun. Sitting down, Renjun watches the arms move slowly over the face of his antique clock that with every passing second omits an obnoxiously loud ticking sound that is only overshadowed by the thick tension hanging in the air. Every once in a while, his gaze traces your form on the farthest end of Renjun's couch, staring blankly at the wall.

"Why did you sneak out?" Renjun puts his thoughts into words, eyebrows scrunched together in a mixture of anger and disappointment.

"It was just a hook-up," you turn your head to whine at him, "I don't know why you're making a big deal out of this?"

"Because it-" Renjun starts, but then decides that he'd much rather not appear pathetic in front of you for moaning about that being his last sexual encounter before formally agreeing to wait for the one.

"Alright," you sigh after a while, "I'm sorry, alright?"

Renjun clears his throat and nods, "okay. Thank you."

"I'd much rather talk about the important things right now," you say, turning your entire body to sit cross-legged on the couch facing Renjun. You take a deep breath before opening your mouth again. "I'm just going to say what everyone here is thinking: the app obviously made a mistake."

Renjun's eyebrows fly upwards as he blinks once, very slowly, "excuse me?"

"Yeah. I mean, no offense, but you're obviously a softie! And I like tall men,-"

"I don't think I'm getting this right, you fucked me before?!"

"Yeah, it was fine for a night, but-"

"And why am I a softie- or, first of all, why is that bad? We both did the experiment, we're both looking for a perfect match, or am I wrong?" Renjun did not even notice getting up from his place on the sofa, or when he started pointing an accusing finger at you.

"I don't know, you take it so serious-"

"And you're being a real bitch right now." Renjun furrows his brows even further as you get up as well to stand right in front of him, your pointer finger pushing into his chest.

"I do not appreciate you calling me that."

"I have done nothing wrong, I cleaned this whole place, and even when I realized that it had to be you, of all people, I was willing to work with it, but right now, I just want to..."

Renjun realizes how close you are to him right now, he can smell your perfume, the same scent you'd worn the other night. Even if it was whole while ago, he still remembers the dusty note that now once again tickles his nostrils, immediately taking him back to that night.

"...kiss you."

Renjun hasn't even closed his mouth before your lips press against his, your passion wild and untamed as your bodies press closer, your hands immediately going to his hair, gently pulling so it stings at his scalp as Renjun's own hands roam over your form to settle on your waist and ass.

His head is clouded, his mind hazy with the feeling of you against him. He's a little embarrassed of your affect on him, immediately growing hard in his pants as soon as you hump yourself against him, content sighs flowing from his mouth into yours.

It's hectic, hands touching everywhere at once all of a sudden, fingers clutching clothing in an attempt to rid the other of them, limbs tangling as Renjun moves the both of you to the nearby bedroom.

You somehow manage to peel yourselves out of your clothes, Renjun can feel how wet you are for him, and though he's so focused on only you, he can't help but comment spitefully, "you prefer tall men, huh?"

"Fuck you," you gasp before kissing him again, and Renjun does not quite know how to feel about this, maybe it's bad, maybe it's good, but he assumes that this type of behavior should not make his tummy fill with butterflies. It still does.

Renjun lines himself up with your hole, then thrusts forward. He doesn't take his time to prep you like last time, he finds that if you want to act like a bitch, you should be treated like one. He's also very perplexed that he's thinking like this, he never has, but he guesses you bring this side out in him.

You cry out in pure bliss as he stretches your walls that are struggling to take his size, your eyes rolling back at the overwhelming pleasure. Renjun's thrusts are quick and hard, ramming his tip against your spot in a way that makes you see stars and your thighs shiver around his waist.

Your orgasm approaches fast, almost embarrassingly fast considering you made such a fuss earlier, Renjun admits to himself, feeling proud as he pushes you over the edge with ease. The moans tumbling from your lips are nothing short of pornographic, and Renjun does not have it in him to shut you up for the sake of his neighbors.

Instead, he pulls out, then quickly replaces his cock with his fingers, pressing them upwards repeatedly to tickle another quick high out of you. His eyes are on you the entire time while yours are closed, assumingely overwhelmed with how good he's making you feel.

Once you writhe from overstimulation, Renjun removes his fingers as well, licking a fat stripe over your cunt before turning you around and pressing your face into the sheets.

"I'll show you how much of a softie I can be," he grunts before pushing in once again, his hand pressing against the back of your head as he crashes his hips into yours with such force that the bed frame penetrates imprints into his wall. Your moans are muffled, and Renjun decides that he'd much rather have his neighbors hear how good of a fuck he is, so he grabs a fistful of your hair and yanks you up.

"Oh God," you whine, back arching beautifully to take even more of him, and Renjun suppresses a coy grin at the fact that he's able to destroy you that easily.

"Hm? Not so soft now, huh?"

"I'm gonna cum again-" you announce, hands gripping the sheets as you try to ground yourself, to just take and take and take what Renjun gives you, and soon after he can feel you clench around him as another orgasm takes over you, leaving you weak and shaky.

"Too much?"

You shake your head, but Renjun pulls out nevertheless. "Get on your knees, I want you to suck me off."

Never in his life has Renjun seen someone hurry off a bed so eagerly. You open your mouth compliantly, like a well trained slut, and Renjun can simply push his cock between your lips and fuck your mouth. "Tap my leg when I should stop."

You nod quickly, then relax your jaw for him to use you. Renjun loves this sight of you. He remembers what you looked like when you came over, with pretty makeup and perfectly styled hair – and now everything's ruined, your hair messy and tangled, your makeup smudged by a mixture of tears and spit. Renjun loves how hazily your eyelids flutter as you try to look up at him, eyes seemingly focussing and un-focussing, more tears welling up in your eyes before they trickle down your cheeks, spit coating your chin as you gag a little.

Renjun believes he could get used to this.

_____

The sun tickling the tip of his nose is what wakes him up the next morning. With a groan, he tries to adjust his eyes to the bright light shining into his bedroom – the downside of having a bedroom that faces east. Once he realizes where he is, the memories of last night come flying back to him. He has to find his arms to be much emptier than when he went to bed the night before. He sighs, a hand coming up to run over his face. Honestly, he didn't even have to check the rest of his home to know that you snuck out again.

A mug filled with coffee in hand, Renjun lets out a shaky sigh. It stings, he's not going to lie, but maybe you have your reasons, maybe something came up, maybe you need time to think. Or maybe you just hate him and only want to use his desperate state of romanticism and body for your selfish nature.

This assumption is neither proven to be false nor correct when his doorbell rings a couple of months later. In the meantime, Renjun had done nothing but sulk, try to pull himself together, work non-stop to get you out of his mind, realized it's not working and went back to sulking, then the cycle repeated itself. He hadn't even updated his friends about the encounter for a lack of energy, basically. His apartment is a mess, empty to half-empty boxes of takeout littered all over the place, bottles with a last sip left left and right that Renjun trips over every few hours only to curse loudly and do nothing to clean them up afterwards. Basically, he's living like Donghyuck and Jaemin right now.

His feet drag him to the door. "Hello?"

"They're threatening me."

Renjun, without even having heard it twice through the speaker, recognizes your voice immediately. And before he knows it, his finger presses the button that opens the door with a buzzing sound. He curses at himself, panic arising as he listens to your heavy footsteps climbing up the stairs to his apartment. Once you step into sight, Renjun loses his ability to talk. Why do you have to look gorgeous? Why does he want to get on his knees and eat you out immediately? Why is he so weak?

You take fast steps and invite yourself into Renjun's home as he does nothing but take a few careful steps back. You then lock the door as you check the hallway behind the door through the peephole for any potential threats.

"Who?" Renjun finally gets out.

"The app developers," you mumble before retrieving from the door.

"Why?"

"They know I left, now they keep threatening me."

"I doubt that," Renjun frowns.

"Look!" You push your phone into his hands. Renjun curiously scans the last notifications the app sent you.

How did it go? Did you find your soulmate with us? Please rate us in the app store.

Hey! We found your soulmate! Now all you need to do is rate this experience.

Your soulmate is happy to have you. Thank you for working with us, please leave a rating in the app store.

Rate your love experience now!

Renjun snorts.

"What?" You watch him with furrowed brows and crossed arms.

"These are hardly threats."

"They just keep coming, this has to be a threat. Haven't you gotten any?"

"I don't know, I don't have the app anymore," Renjun mumbles.

"Right..." you say, finally taking a first look around the place. "And what happened here?"

"Stop judging me!" Renjun turns his back to you while crossing his arms. Of course he hadn't had the time to deep clean his apartment when he was busy sulking and writhing in self-pity for the past months. And, to be fair, it was all your fault!

"Alright, maybe they're not threats, per-se. They still made me feel bad..."

"Oh?" Renjun turns back around, eyebrows raised. "It has a heart?"

"Ha-ha," you deadpan, but Renjun can't suppress a smile as he makes his way over to the kitchen to grab himself something to drink, and you kicking your shoes off, and then following him on track like a lost puppy.

Renjun opens the fridge and pours himself a glass of the fruity water he's prepared a few hours ago (not because he felt like it, only because he was afraid the remaining fruit his mom brought over because she coincidentally happened to be in town a few days ago would go bad if he didn't use them). He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a refreshing sip.

You watch him set the glass down on the counter. "Aren't you going to ask me if I want something?"

With a hint of playfulness that he does not want to give away under any circumstances, Renjun scoffs, "yeah, as if I'm going to be nice to you after the stunt you pulled. Twice." Renjun holds up two of his fingers to highlight his words.

Your brows furrow as you open your mouth to complain, but you must have realized he's right, so you shut it again, turning into a cute pout instead. "I'm sorry. It's just- it's hard-" You give up and press your lips together tightly. "Can we- start over?"

"Oh? From what point?" Renjun raises his brows, lifting his hand to count with his fingers, "when you abandoned me the first time? When you insulted me? Or when I fucked you so good you couldn't stop drooling on the sheets?" He smiles in victory at your shocked expression. "To which I could also add: the first or the second time." He wiggles two fingers in front of your face with a smug smirk.

"I wish I could say this behavior of yours irritates me to the point where I just want to give up, but you're kind of hot looking all messed up and heart-broken because of me while sporting that victorious grin," you say and step towards him.

"Ah, really?" Renjun's confident shell starts to crumble.

"Why don't we start from the beginning?" You stop right in front of him, and Renjun has to press his ass against the counter to keep that little distance that allows him to breathe. Amused, the corner of your mouth twitches, then you extend your hand as your gaze bores into his.

"Hi, my name is ____ and I would love to suck your cock."

Renjun hates the way his breath hitches as he carefully shakes your hand for a reason he is not aware of. "I-I'm Renjun," he simply says, and the playful smirk on your face widens as you pull your hand out of his to lay atop of the waistband of his sweatpants. Renjun hates it even more that he feels his blood that just milliseconds ago thumbed through his ears now rushing downwards awakening his cock.

"Do you want me to suck you off?" Your voice is bittersweet as you bat your lashes at Renjun who gulps before breathing out a "yeah".

You smile, fingers untying his sweatpants before you push your hand inside to feel him up. "So hard, all for me? What a good boy you are, Renjun."

Renjun bites down on his lip, face contorting in pleasure as he feels you feel him up and down, his hips push forward involuntarily. Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you just be- less enticing, less hot, less able to turn his brain to complete mush every time he sees you? Renjun knows where this is going, you're going to give him the best, most amazing, jaw-dropping, eye-rolling, toe-curling head of his life, and then you're going to walk out that door as if there aren't still drops of Renjun's cum trickling down your esophagus.

Just as your hands leave the inside of his pants to pull them down his legs, Renjun grabs ahold of your wrists. Your eyes widen in surprise.

"No," Renjun catches your gaze that holds a whole lot of insecurities in them, or so he assumes. "I am not letting you touch me until I know you won't leave me again."

The look in your eyes tells him that something about this interaction hit a nerve very deep down, so he tries to lighten the mood with a light joke and a careful smile. "At least take me out on a date before you use me."

Jackpot, he realizes, as you scoff and pull your wrists from his grasp. "Alrighty then, what do you want to eat?"

_____

The wideness of his eyes expands exponentially with every word you tell the guy behind the counter of the nearest Subway who prepares your sandwich. He could mouth along your order because, even up until the sauce, it's identical with his. Hence, all he tells the guy once he's finished is "the same". You seem not to notice – or care – and the quick walk back home is quiet despite the tornados of thoughts winding through Renjun's mind. Is this how the app worked? Match people with similar taste in food? Though he doesn't remember putting his Subway order in when submitting his forms.

Arriving at home, you ask Renjun to put on a show to watch while eating, and when he plays his all time favorite, Modern Family, you announce that that's your favorite as well.

Renjun watches, half in awe and half scared for his life, as you practically inhale the foot-long sandwich in front of his eyes, and he feels his heart thumb just a little faster seeing you all domestic like this; not dolled up, and not with his cum dripping from some part of your body, just you being you. Apparently, he likes you more than he likes to admit, he's afraid.

"I think I'm going to delete that app as well," you announce as you wipe the remaining sauce and crumbs from the corners of your mouth.

"How so?"

"I have you now, don't I?" You shrug, placing your plate on the coffee table in front of the couch. Renjun's heart jumps at your words, then sighs and happily sinks deeper into the comfort of his chest.

"Does that mean- I mean-" But he is shushed by your finger pressing against his lips, that makes his eyes widen.

"Shh, baby boy, don't ruin it." You say, then get up.

"Where are you going?"

"Will you calm down? I just want to pee!" You whine, then march off towards his bathroom, and Renjun wants to punch himself in the face for watching you go with a smitten gaze, but he can't help staring. You're just too gorgeous. He loves the way you're so relaxed and funny, sighing lovingly as he admires your beauty coming back from the restroom to sit down next to him with a thud and a weirded out expression on your face.

"Why are you looking like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like I just took your virginity in a field of dandelions."

"I am not!"

"Whatever. Can we fuck now?"

The little hearts circling around Renjun's heart – metaphorically – shatter. "Are you being serious?"

"I hate to admit this too, but you're pretty good at what you're doing."

"I am more than just a toy for you to use!" Renjun argues, setting his plate down on the coffee table next to yours. Anger is visibly written all over his face, and you seem to finally get the hint that he's serious about this.

"Alright, then. What do you wanna do instead? Cuddle?!" You suggest, and although it does not seem like this is a legitimate offer, Renjun takes it.

"Yeah, for example!"

And that's how your back ends up pressed to his front as you watch TV, not without a last roll of your eyes, of course, and while Renjun affectionately plays with your hair, he has time to relish in the feeling of being loved for the first time since forever, even if he had to threaten you with deprivation of sex. Later, you even fall asleep in his arms, in his bed, and when he wakes up the next morning, you are snoring soundly besides him.

_____

"Do you want to meet my friends?" Renjun asks casually over the steam evaporating from the hot coffee mugs on the breakfast table. You have half a Baozi in your mouth, and Renjun can only guess your next words as they come out.

"What? Why? Are we getting married?" He assumes you say.

"No, I just thought, you know, since things were getting serious-"

"We are?!" You muffle with wide eyes.

Over the past days that you'd spent at Renjun's place without missing a single day (except for the 4 hours when you went to get your stuff... 4 hours that drove Renjun insane with fear that you wouldn't return), Renjun kind of started to wonder what it is that you're doing for a living that you can just disappear like that without anyone wondering where you are, but he noticed that you do not like to talk much about yourself. All he knows that your interests and taste are, quite frankly, scarily similar to his own. He assumes that you are just careful when it comes to opening up to people, so he is more than thrilled when he finds you next to him every single morning and decides that there will be a time and place for you to bond over deep talk.

"Calm down, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that we've been hanging out a lot and I think it would be... fun?" Renjun suggests carefully. A weight lifts off his heart as your wide eyes shrink back to their normal size and you take your time to chew and swallow before your answer.

"Okay." And then you stuff the other half of the steamed bun into your mouth.

"Great! I'll text them!"

"Today?!"

"We really have to stop talking about this while we eat."

"It's okay, do it whenever, honestly." But only muffled sounds and a few crumbs come out.

"What?"

You roll your eyes dramatically, then point yourself.

"You?"

You nod, then point to Renjun. "Me?"

Then you squiggle your pointer and forefinger in a way that resembles a pair of legs – "go?" – you nod, then point downwards – "here?" – you shake your head – "today?" – you nod frantically and press your pointer finger to your thumb – "okay?"

You finally swallow. "Man, I said it's okay if we go today."

"That was absolutely unnecessary. Now go get ready, I'll text them."

_____

"Where is your other half?"

"Probably inside of someone," Donghyuck says about the lack of Jaemin at the table, but his eyes are intensely focused on you. You on the other hand seem to have found great interest in your fingernails and refuse to take your eyes off of them. "Yo, is she shy or something?"

"I'm not," you say, your eyes snapping up to gaze at Donghyuck who looks a little taken aback. You smile sweetly, then reach over the table to shake his hand. "I'm sorry, I was just a little distracted. Hey, I'm the girl that Renjun fucks."

Renjun chokes on his own spit, and Donghyuck snorts loudly. You lean against the backrest of the McDonald's seat and grab Renjun's hand to hold. Renjun, finally recovered from his near-death-experience, can't believe what's happening as his eyes zone in to where your fingers intertwine with his. It even makes him miss that that was a complete lie since the no-sex-until-i-know-you-won't-leave-thing is still on the table.

"So, how is he? In bed, I mean?" Donghyuck folds his hands beneath his chin and leans forward interestedly.

"Oh, he's great, really! He doesn't look like it, but he has a lot of stamina. And, to be fair, he's not the biggest, but it gets the job done nicely, I especially love it when he-"

"Can we not talk about my dick in a McDonald's?! Please?!"

"Oop, looks like we hit a sore spot-" Donghyuck remarks.

"I am not insecure about- you know what? Fuck you. Go get the food, it's ready," Renjun snaps and pushes the receipt with the pick up number on it into Donghyuck's hand who throws you another knowing look before strolling off to get the food.

"I will not apologize for-"

"You're holding my hand," Renjun states.

"What?" Your eyebrows contort in confusion.

"My hand, you're holding it," Renjun says, lifting both of your hands into your line of sight to prove his point.

"Yeah, so?"

"I like that."

A genuine smile spreads over your face and you bite your lip, maybe to suppress it, but Renjun saw it, and look down at your lap. Donghyuck appears again, tray in hand, and Renjun would've missed your quiet whisper of "he likes that" if his entire world wasn't revolving around you right now.

"What are we talking about?" Donghyuck grins as he slides back onto his seat, immediately pulling a fry out of the box and dunking it in his milkshake. Renjun, still in awe that you're holding his hand, immediately notices how your face contorts in disgust.

"Why the fuck are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Dipping your fry."

Renjun watches with heart-shaped eyes how Donghyuck's mouth opens and closes for a lack of a proper response, because – shit – that is exactly what he's been thinking for the past five years.

"Because I like it?"

"Alright," you shrug, then attend to your cheeseburger. Renjun mirrors your action, lifting the top half of the bun to peel the single slice of pickle off the surface before sticking the burger back together, not noticing how you do the exact same thing until Donghyuck points it out.

"So? That's what it's like when you found a match. Another great advantage is having only one partner whom you engage in sexual activities with. Ah, by the way, how is your itchy sack?"

"Good one, babe," you compliment as Donghyuck's face falls onto his BigMac, and Renjun could not feel any better at that exact moment.

"Sorry I'm late!" The voice of no other than Na Jaemin appears behind Renjun only to reveal said man seconds later as he flops down next to Donghyuck, forcing him to squeeze further against the wall. Donghyuck complains, but no one pays him any mind.

A heavy grin adorns Jaemin's face, an expression Renjun's grown to know like the back of his own hand over the past years. Jaemin's post orgasm glow is so bright and blinding that Renjun's sure he must have just gotten a blowjob in the McDonald's bathroom. His tongue slurps parts of his McFlurry off his spoon. Renjun watches as Jaemin's gaze runs over to you, and as if someone's flipped a switch inside him, Jaemin's smile drops. If the sudden silence wasn't so ear numbing, one would've heard it smash to the ground and shatter into pieces. Even Donghyuck has stopped munching on his food to scan the situation, the end of a fry sticking out from between his lips.

Renjun's heart stops, then starts thumping up his throat as he slowly turns his head towards you, and this exact process repeats itself as he sees how pale you've gotten. Your eyes are trained on Jaemin, and Renjun can see you gulp once before you suddenly get up, the legs of the chair disgustingly scratching over the floor, and leave the fast food restaurant with hurried steps.

Despite desperately wanting to know what the fuck just happened, Renjun hastily gets up to run after you, calling out your name, once, twice, but when he reaches the doors, panting breath creating soft clouds in the cool air, you're out of sight.

_____

Ah, what a great morning. That is what Renjun would have thought if it was opposite day. He is devastated. You are nowhere to be found, the apartment empty since he returned and he still regrets not asking for your number sometime during the past days, though there was no need since you'd spend all your time at his place anyway. But now you're not. You're gone, and Jaemin refuses to let him in on what exactly happened between the two of you that made you leave the place in a hurry, only for Renjun to find Jaemin gone as well as soon as he returned. He only found Donghyuck sitting at the table, dragging his last fry through the milkshake. They finished their meal in silence.

As the doorbell rings, Renjun falls off the couch, scrambles up and runs to answer the door. It's not you, though, it's Donghyuck, who for once decided to be a good friend and check in on Renjun, even though the latter would rather just lie down in a puddle of his own tears, and sob.

"I'm sorry, man," Donghyuck says, dragging Renjun into his arms for comfort. Renjun simply sighs. The warmth of Donghyuck's hug does actually help ease some of the tension in his heart, and when they part, Renjun invites Donghyuck in for some tea.

"Do you know what happened?" Renjun asks as he hands Donghyuck his mug.

"Not a clue. Jaemin hasn't even been home. I have some theories, though." Donghyuck takes a sip and curses after burning his tongue.

"That are?" Renjun is actually relieved to have someone else break their brain over this situation that is not him.

"Number one: Jaemin is her lost brother."

Renjun blinks.

"Number two: Jaemin fucked her mother and destroyed her parent's marriage."

Renjun raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, number three: Jaemin fucked her mother and is her father."

Renjun raises a hand to slap him.

"Okay, okay! Sorry. Number four, and this actually goes two ways. Four point one: They fucked and she is the one girl that broke Jaemin's heart and made him this way."

Renjun does not like the sound of that at all.

"Four point two: They fucked and Jaemin broke her heart and that's why she can't commit."

"I hate all of your theories with my entire being," Renjun admits, "Do you have one that does not mean something bad?"

"Um..." Donghyuck thinks for a while that, admittedly, lasts too long for Renjun to relax, "Jaemin once saved her cat and she never got the chance to thank him because- he fucked her mom- I'M SORRY that's all I can think of."

Renjun sighs. "I don't know. I just wish she would care about me enough to just talk to me, you know?"

"I don't think that's the problem," Donghyuck suggests and Renjun looks away from his steaming mug and at Donghyuck instead. "I think she cares about you a lot, but there seems to be some sort of past trauma that makes it hard for her. I mean, I'm not a specialist since you" – a glaring Donghyuck points an accusing finger at Renjun – "refuse to update me about every little thing like I asked you to, but I don't think this has as much to do with you as you think."

"I've never thought about it that way," Renjun admits, and a little weight drops off his heart at the fact that he is possibly not at fault, and neither are you. "Thank you, Hyuck, honestly."

"No biggie." Donghyuck shrugs with a smug smirk. "You can pay me back in kind."

"What do you mean?"

"A smooch." Donghyuck puckers his lips, but at the same time, the doorbell rings a second time that day, causing Renjun to jump and run towards the obnoxious sound. This time, it really is you.

"Can we talk?" You ask as you stand in his doorway, and Renjun can't do anything but blink in awe because, honestly? He thought he'd never see you again.

"Um, not to be rude, but we're kind of in the middle of something here," Donghyuck says with his lips still puckered for Renjun to kiss. Renjun, without taking his eyes off of you in case you'd vaporize once he looked away for even a split second, ushers Donghyuck to leave since, "he was on his way out, actually."

Not without throwing a little tantrum, Donghyuck lets himself get pushed out of Renjun's apartment. Renjun whispers another 'thank you' and blows him a kiss before closing the door in Donghyuck's face.

_____

"I didn't know you started smoking again," Renjun comments as you sit on his sad excuse of a balcony.

"This is for the vibe," you say, and blow the smoke into the air. "And maybe I had a drink."

"Okay."

Silence.

"This is really scary for me," you admit, and Renjun assumes that you're talking about opening up.

"You can trust me, I'm not going anywhere," Renjun assures, placing a careful arm around your waist and a kiss to your temple.

"Jaemin was my first love."

Renjun gulps. He feels a little part of his heart break off and shatter against his ribcage, leaving a stinging pain behind. Great, so you know Jaemin, and not only that, he happened to be the first one you've ever let into your heart. Renjun assumes that it's been a couple of years since then, but knowing Jaemin, he couldn't possibly be the best first love, or a good one even. Don't get him wrong, he dearly loves Jaemin – in a platonic way – but the way he treats girls is not something he should be as proud of as he is. But maybe he hasn't always been like this. Maybe you were the one to make him like this.

"Go on," Renjun finally coughs out. His hands feel a little shaky, maybe even a little sweaty, and he feels the need to wrap them around the metal railing separating him from free falling to his death.

"It was back in school. I fell for him immediately. He made me feel like the only girl in the world."

Renjun dares to look over at you to watch you sigh, dragging on your cigarette once again. You look incredibly pained, and as much as he wants you to shut up because it seems to be hurting not only him, but you as well, he needs to know.

"Well, that was until he took my virginity. Never saw him again after that until," you pause, clear your throat and take a deep breath and continue pressed with your eyes closed, "until today."

Renjun takes a minute to calm down his mind from running thoughts on overspeed. "I'm- so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could say he's not like that anymore, but... well, his moral compass enhanced a little... um..." Renjun removes his hands from the railing, wiping them on his jeans, then turns to you. "Look, I can see why you wouldn't want to hang out w-"

"No," you interrupt him, dragging on your cigarette once more before carelessly flicking the bud onto the streets below, then you turn to him, take a careful step forward and take his hands into yours. "I trust you. I want you to be the right one. I want you to break this pattern, I want you to change my future."

Renjun does not know how to respond. There's a part of him that wants to pay Jaemin a visit and punch him, but he knows better than to start a physical fight with Na Jaemin, the local gym's best customer. And besides, what would it matter? It's not like violence would change anything. "May I hug you?"

You nod, and Renjun wraps his arms around you to pull you into his chest. His chin rests in the crook of your neck, breathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo, and he is not sure whether it's a good thing that he falls for you more and more every second he spends with you.

_____

Renjun decided that it would be best not to see Jaemin for some time, mostly in favor of his own well being considering that Jaemin would dominate him if it ever came to a physical confrontation. Instead, he focuses his energy on making you feel loved and protected, and makes sure he never gives you the impression of leaving you. He mostly enjoys the quiet nights with you, creating as much physical contact as possible without being uncomfortable, and freely talking into the rise of the sun.

Renjun learned that it's only been you and your mom, most of the time, since your dad cheated on her when you were still a child. Then, as soon as you turned eighteen and got your first real job, your mother left the country. Not without saying goodbye, but apparently, she made it clear that she didn't want to stay in contact. Ever since, it's only been you. You'd always been by yourself, having to care for yourself, working hard to make enough money to be able to afford rent and food. In a way, you had raised yourself to be independent, and your past encounter with Jaemin must have just intensified your bias not to trust men after what your father did to your mother.

Still, that's all Renjun knows about you. And after 3 months of living together, he kind of wishes to know where you live – well, when you're not living with him – what you do for a job, if you have any friends for him to meet, but all he knows is your zodiac sign. Although, he calms himself down by telling himself that you need time to build up trust. After everything that's happened to you, Renjun is the last person wanting to pressure you.

It's only that one particular conversation with his friend Donghyuck he doesn't seem to be able to let go.

"How long have you been living together?" Donghyuck asked as he ripped a small piece off of the bread in his hand to throw it into the pile of ducks gathered in front of them at the pond at the local park. Donghyuck loves to go there to feed the ducks, and Renjun almost found it cute until Donghyuck told him the real reason behind his regular visits to feed the ducks at the pond: picking up girls.

Donghyuck swears that this is the perfect way to get a "chick" (his words, not Renjun's) to fall for you. Either they love this sweet, domestic side of a man who is soft enough to go feed ducks in his spare time which inevitably makes him boyfriend material, or they're there with their kids and- Renjun can't recall how this was different from the first thing. He only remembers thinking that Donghyuck has a weird obsession with older women, and the freudian curiosity in Renjun kind of pushes him to find out more about what that's about. Maybe another time.

"Almost three months," Renjun smiled widely, ready to spill information about all the great memories he had made with you over the past 11 weeks, like when he accidentally sent the pizza delivery guy to the wrong address or when the both of you giggled too loudly at a YouTube video until his downstairs neighbor knocked at his door and begged for you to shut up (admittedly, there's not much going on), but Donghyuck interrupted him with his hand hitting Renjun square in his solar plexus.

"Three months?! Woah, get it champ! How often do you do it?" Donghyuck asked, completely ignoring the way Renjun had to fight not to double over and slide face forward into the pond.

"We-" Renjun coughed and was finally able to stand up straight again. "We actually don't have sex at all."

In hindsight, Renjun's knowledge of physics and anatomy make him doubt the reaction he remembers, but he vividly recalls Donghyuck's eyes to drive out of his skull as he jumped about 3 meters into the air. Summarized: Donghyuck was a little surprised!

"Um, well, I didn't think it would hit you this early, but there are ways, man." Donghyuck patted Renjun's shoulder brotherly. "I still have a few pills at home if you want to try them. I get them from this one guy, and they're worth every penny, let me tell you-"

"I do not suffer from erectile disfunction," Renjun clarified and Donghyuck quickly shut his mouth, blinked a few times, then began to defend himself about how he doesn't need them to get hard, just to stay hard longer or whatever.

"Anyway," Renjun side-eyed Donghyuck as he finally stopped talking, "I just... don't want her to leave me again."

"Ah, that's how the land lies," Donghyuck grinned, "but buddy, it's been months, don't you miss it?"

"Not really," Renjun lied without cause.

"Don't you miss the way it feels?" Donghyuck leaned closer, warm breath tickling Renjun's ear and neck, his voice getting whiney and full of lust as he explained the warm, wet feeling of a-

"Okay, maybe I do!" Renjun said in defeat, holding onto Donghyuck's hands to stop them for making lewd gestures.

"Then there's nothing stopping you. Well, except for the fact that it's very weird how she just lives with you. Doesn't she have a job? Does she pay rent?" Donghyuck frowned at Renjun with raised eyebrows.

Renjun squinted his eyes at him, frowning as well. "Where is this coming from?!"

"I'm just saying, you should ask her about that." Donghyuck shrugged and poured the remaining bread crumbs from his paper bag onto the ground, causing ducks to zoom out of the water and gather around their feet.

"I don't want to pressure her. You know how hard it is for her to open up," Renjun reasoned, but Donghyuck seemed to be having ulterior motives, throwing a wink into the direction of a middle aged woman with a stroller. Renjun watched for a few moments as Donghyuck pressed his tongue into his cheek smugly, then shouted "just gave him some relationship advice while feeding the ducks", and how the woman chuckled and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, then decided he's seen enough.

Sadly, turning off one's ears had not been invented yet, Renjun thought as he stepped away after patting disinterested Donghyuck's shoulder as goodbye, still hearing Donghyuck ask her about the child's father, how come such a beautiful woman doesn't have a strong man at her side, and what she's going to be doing tonight.

_____

"Baby?" Renjun enters the living room to find you sitting in front of the couch on the carpet, carelessly browsing through a magazine with your playlist randomly playing tunes in the background.

"Hey!" Your eyes light up as you see him. Renjun sits down beside you, a slight smile on his face as he takes in how beautiful you look tonight, just like all nights.

"What are you up to?" He asks, curiously leaning forward to be able to look at the magazine as well.

"It's just a women's magazine, it's like fashion and make-up trends an stuff," you explain briefly still scanning through the pages before your eyes light up once again as you turn to look at Renjun.

"What?" Renjun chuckles nervously, but simultaneously loving the look on your face.

"Could I.. do your make-up?" You ask straightforwardly. Renjun's eyebrows shoot upwards in surprise, mouth shaping an 'o' as he looks up thinking about it briefly. He's never gotten his make-up done before, and although the thought had never occurred to him before, it does sound like a fun couple's activity to do together that could lead to excellent bonding time. Therefore, he smiles and nods at your request.

Renjun coos at how you get up to grab your make-up bag with a slight excited jump in your walk, then watches how you lean down to fish it out of your bag, gulping hard and averting his gaze as you so carelessly present your ass to him. The conversation with Donghyuck still playing in his mind, he realizes that, apart from wanting to know more about you, he really does miss being inside of you physically.

Before he knows it, you're back on the carpet next to him, opening your bag to reveal the endless depths of its contents, various pencils and brushes, tubes and bottles that Renjun knows close to nothing about.

"What do you want me to do?" You ask, and Renjun smiles contently.

"Whatever you want, I'm yours to play with," he confirms before realizing the ambiguous meaning of his words. He still means them, in both ways.

Although, you do not seem to be catching on, shuffling to sit in front of Renjun instead to have a better look at his handsome face. "Your skin is pretty, so let's skip foundation," you decide and Renjun's smile grows at the implied compliment. Instead, you brush his messy bangs out of his face to be able to get a better look at his eyes.

"Can I do your eyeliner?" You ask, gazing deeply into his eyes, and honestly, you could've asked him to jump out of the window and he'd respond with the same breathy 'yes' he did just now. Especially now after you've climbed into his lap for better access.

"Okay," you giggle, now a black pencil in your hand, "look up!"

Renjun does his best to follow your orders, but the eyeliner feels very foreign on his eyes, and as you ask him to look down next, he is met with your cleavage greeting him, and he has to concentrate on not popping a boner instead.

After a while, you lean back, admiring your work as Renjun blinks a few tears away.

"You look pretty," you admit, handing Renjun a little mirror to see for himself. And as he catches his own reflection, he must admit that you're right. He does look pretty, but honestly, he could've looked like trash right now and he'd still do this over and over again just to be close to you.

"Thank you, I agree!" He smiles, handing you the mirror back.

"How about lipstick next?" You suggest and Renjun's eyes immediately dart down to your lips, remembering the last time his own lips touched them for longer than a quick peck, and longing for that feeling. So instead of answering, he nods, trying his best to conceal his nervousness.

A lipstick in hand, you get comfortable on his lap again, seemingly either ignoring or not caring what your shuffling does to him, then attend to his lips. Renjun's now able to watch your face closely as you apply the tinted product onto his lips, falling in love with the way you look when you concentrate on something.

Your gentle fingers tap the lipstick onto his lips, spreading the color gently to create a faded look, but Renjun doesn't really care anymore. His eyes keep focussing on your lips, yearning to taste them again, and he feels like it's showing with the way he keeps leaning in closer.

His heart skips a beat as he looks up into your eyes again to see them already looking into his, and he doesn't even have to say anything before you close the gap in between your mouths and begin kissing him gently, leaving one, two, three kisses on his lips before drawing back to look into his eyes again.

No words are exchanged, it's just him who leans in this time, breathing in deeply through his nose as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. He completely loses himself in you and the slow song playing in the background. Your lips feel heavenly, and Renjun admits that it's really been too long since the last time he got to taste them.

Your hands stroke over his body just as his do to yours, gentle moans fall from both of your lips as you carefully grind down against Renjun's prominent bulge. It doesn't take long for him to turn you around, gently laying you on your back to the soft carpet, caging you in with his arms and deeply gazing into your eyes. You strip each other of every piece of clothing, taking your sweet time to show the other how you feel, and as Renjun finally enters you, he feels like this is where he belongs.

_____

"Hyuck, I'm telling you, it was absolutely fantastic," Renjun beams, hands in the air metaphorically mimicking a large object to visualize how much fun he's had with you the night prior.

"I'm guessing the rule of premarital abstinence is off the table?" Donghyuck teases, face mockingly serious, though a brow sneaks its way upwards to hint at his playfulness. Renjun presses his lips together, hands sinking to the table.

"You are just jealous that woman in the park only wanted you to be her new babysitter," Renjun shoots back.

"That's what her mouth said, but do you know what her body said to me about thirty minutes later as I rammed my dick in her?" Donghyuck crosses his arms, pressing his tongue into his cheek smugly, and Renjun just stares blankly ahead, right through Donghyuck's insufferable ego as if it was see-through and not as solid as concrete. Donghyuck leans forwards, forearms holding his weight hovering over the tabletop.

"Ah, fuck, you're so big, Donghyuck. Please, d-don't tell my husband. H-he really can't find out that you're making m-me feel so much better than him, ugh, God, I wish you were the father of my children," Donghyuck moans, high pitched and fake like a porn star, and Renjun snorts, laughter that threatened to come out winning the battle against his muscles, and he's sure he spit on Donghyuck in the process. Payback.

"Sorry," Renjun says and doesn't mean it, "have you talked to your therapist about this 'Mommy'-thing?" Donghyuck sighs and rolls his eyes.

"It's not a 'Mommy'-thing. I don't want them to be my mom, I don't want them to pack me a lunch box and sing me a lullaby," Donghyuck explains.

"Then, what?" The corners of Renjun's mouth twitching downwards, threatening another wave of laughter to burst out with vigor.

"Older ladies know what they want in life. They went through labor and stuff and mostly already found a man, so when they want me, I feel good. Also, they know how to please a guy, you know?" Donghyuck says, and Renjun's eyes are about to pop out from the sole pressure of trying to keep his amusement from spitting Donghyuck in the face again.

"Alright, then, if my love life is so laughable, why don't you give me some insight on how great your girlfriend's cunt squeezes around your dick?" Donghyuck crosses his arms, meaning to sound petty and passive-aggressive, even though Renjun knows that he is eager to hear every little detail.

"Does everything have to be this graphic with you?" Renjun contorts his face in faux disgust, but huffs out a chuckle, not ready to admit that, in all honesty, Donghyuck's words sent him right back to last night when you came around him, milking him for all he's worth.

"It does. Whether you like it or not, this is what you signed up for when you started calling me your friend. Now spill," Donghyuck raises a threatening finger.

"I don't know if I'm comfortable giving out information to fuel your next wanking session with my girlfriend," Renjun notes, but continues to spill the details nonetheless. "So, all in all, very romantic until I was like 5 seconds pre-orgasm and 'Jopping' started playing."

"Did you-"

"I did nut to 'Jopping'."

"I guess you were really jumping and popping," Donghyuck examines, then thinks a little longer, "I guess you were a big boy throwing three stacks."

Renjun looks at him, lips turning into a thin line before he slaps his thighs and gets up. "I think I should go?"

"I guess you really made it bang," Donghyuck says and gets up as well, following Renjun into the hallway with quick footsteps. "I guess you really made the crowd go wild in a small room."

"Stop!" Renjun begs, giggling nevertheless as he slips his jacket on.

"I guess you really got that glow."

"Donghyuck!!" Renjun shrieks, not even fully slipping into his shoes before he grabs his bag and opens the door, Donghyuck behind him clutching his stomach laughing. Though, Renjun gets surprised by someone already standing outside the door, the grin immediately falling off his face as he sees who it is.

"I guess it's in your- " Donghyuck starts, but the second he sees the person in front of the door, his laughter dies down, "... nature."

"Hello, stranger," Renjun says sarcastically, squinting his eyes at Jaemin who simply gulps. It's not like Jaemin to not say anything, or to not smile. Renjun immediately feels a little sorry, but at the same time, he doesn't.

Jaemin simply nods before squeezing in between Renjun and the wooden door frame, kicking his shoes off hastily and hurrying past a flabbergasted Donghyuck towards his room. Renjun's eyes follow him disappear, and when he hears the door to Jaemin's room close shut, he feels reminded of how things really started going downwards as soon as you crossed paths with Jaemin again. Of course it bothers him knowing one of his best bros 1) had his dick in Renjun's girlfriend and 2) broke her heart and scarred her for life. What bothers him almost more is how things went well, they were okay, but now Jaemin needed to show up again and make Renjun question everything he's built with you.

What if Donghyuck is right? What if it really is weird that you keep staying at his place? Why is there never a place you have to be? Admittedly, Renjun had pushed this uncomfortable feeling of something being off with your stay to the very back of his brain, not wanting to destroy what you have, not wanting to waste his last chance for love because of something as insignificant as 'oh no, my girlfriend won't leave and I also don't want her to', but suppressing worries is never the answer. No matter how far you push them away, they always resurface to bite you in the butt. And sometimes they bite you in the butt in human form with a perfect, pearly-white set of teeth and eyes that seem alarmingly less sparkly than usual.

Renjun decides that he has to get a grip. He's been so blinded by love, or whatever it is right now that's surely developing into love, that he just let you step into his life, ruin one of his dearest friendships and keep eating the contents of his fridge when he's not home. All this, he tells himself on the way home, passing by a group of guys hanging out in the park together drinking. He sighs. Wasn't it always bros before hoes? Pals before gals? Homies before blow-me's? Does that still apply when the homie is in the wrong?

_____

"Darling?" Renjun whispers as he enters your (at this point) shared home. The lights are turned off, your figure nowhere to be found. Renjun sighs, slowly unties his shoe laces, takes his sneakers off and places them by the door carefully. He realizes most of his shoes are carelessly thrown all over the place, and so are yours. After the sixth pair he's carefully put into storage, he realizes what he's doing.

"You stupid gremlin, just ask her. Stop wasting time," Renjun tells himself, finally taking off his jacket and hanging it up.

"Ask me what?"

Renjun swears his soul leaves his body for a good 10 seconds before he can breathe again. Your silhouette stands in the doorway to his bedroom, the light of the lampposts outside shining on your backside, hugging your curves and making you look like an angel. Renjun curses his artistic eye in moments like these.

"You scared the crap out of me," he giggles, a little intimidated and, truthfully, freaked out at the way you just stand there, seemingly faceless because of the darkness.

"Aww, I'm sorry," you say, and approach him, hugging his cool figure into your arms. Hesitantly, Renjun hugs you back. Something inside him tells him that you're hiding something. "Where were you so long?"

Renjun breathes in slowly, then out through his nose. "Just walking around, needed to think." He's telling the truth.

"Are you okay?" You pull back, looking at his face gently illuminated by the moon. Very lightly, Renjun can make out the lines of worry on your face. He lets out a shaky breath.

"We need to talk."

Another layer of clothing lighter, Renjun sits down on the bed next to you, sweatpants and a white shirt replacing his earlier clothes that kept him from freezing in the cool weather of an early October. The expression on your face is unreadable, though you look not happy, but rather full of worry, sadness and a pinch of anger.

"Okay, this... this is not an easy thing to ask," Renjun finally starts, hating the tension that's so thick one could cut it with a knife.

"Please, um-" you stop him before anymore words can leave his mouth, glossed over eyes finding his gaze and the sight makes Renjun's heart ache. Never have you looked so raw, so fragile, so... broken? "Let me say something first, okay?"

Renjun nods, sucking his lower lip into his mouth to chew on it. His heart beats fast, the sight of you in front of him almost making him forget why he marched through the streets of this town for hours with no physical goal, but only to make sense of the mess clouding his brain.

"I don't know... what exactly you're going to ask me, but-" you halt and stare downwards into your lap where your shaky hands are nervously fumbling with each other. "Whatever it is, whether you want to break up with me, I just want you to know that-" you gulp, voice shaky, "that I've never felt loved in my life except for when I was with you. You really showed me what love is, Jun. You made me love you. So, um..." you breathe out shakily, two tears rolling down and falling towards your hands as they reach the apples of your cheeks. "Thank you for your time and efforts. You really are the best person I've ever met."

_____

"You are fucking weak!" Donghyuck scolds, a little less playfully than usual.

"You don't get it, Hyuck. You weren't there. The sight would even have broken your sad excuse of a heart," Renjun defends himself.

"Excuse me? Just because my heart has Milf-shaped holes in it doesn't mean I don't feel empathy!" Donghyuck throws in, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Renjun feels a little less confident in his decision of letting you be than a few minutes ago. "What did you ask instead?"

Renjun bites his tongue. Admittedly, a day later, the decision doesn't seem as logical as it did hidden under the secure blankets of a dark night. "I asked if she wanted to meet my parents?"

Donghyuck laughs out, once, and very loud, then turns his body to Renjun and places his hands on the older's thighs. "And let me guess." He raises his eyebrows in amusement. Renjun is not amused. "She was like: 'oh my God, Junnie! Why didn't you just say that?' And playfully slapped your arm, and you somehow ended up with your dick so deep in her you could feel hear stomach acid."

"Ew, what the fuck?" Renjun's eyes widen, eyebrows furrowing, his mouth agape in horror. "Y-you know that's not how the female body works, right?"

"How would I know?" Donghyuck retorts, shrugging.

Renjun groans in frustration, hiding his face in his hands. Donghyuck is right. He shouldn't have let you off the hook so easily. He has the right to know! He deserves to have all the answers to his questions. He is honestly one incident away from making an AITA post on Reddit.

"Hey, hey," Donghyuck gently removes Renjun's hands from his face, letting his hands linger on the older's wrists, "don't beat yourself up, Jun. It's not your fault. If the pussy is tight, the pussy is tight, and there is nothing we can do about it. She's in your head, while you should be in her head – literally."

Renjun rolls his eyes.

"No, for real, though." Donghyuck softly slaps the back of Renjun's birthmarked hand. "Women have a different kind of power over us mortals." He looks deeply into Renjun's eyes. "You really like her, don't you?"

Renjun nods. "I might even use the other L-word."

"Okay, here's the thing," Donghyuck announces, now taking both of Renjun's hands in his, cheesily interlocking their fingers which Renjun chooses to ignore, "meeting your parents is great. I mean, inevitably, they're gonna ask her about her job, won't they?"

A spark of hopeful light appears in Renjun's eyes. "You're right. Thank you, Hyuck."

"Kiss me, then," Donghyuck says and winks. Renjun forcefully pulls his hands from Donghyuck's grip. "In your dreams."

"You don't wanna know what happens in my dreams, my dear Renjun," Donghyuck smirks and Renjun decides that this conversation has to end here.

"How are things with Jaemin?" He therefore asks, leaning back in his chair to create a bigger distance between him and the lecher.

"He's in and out, mostly when he knows I'm not around. I think I'm going to trap him later today when he comes home, and make him tell me what the fuck his problem is," Donghyuck explains matter-of-factly. Renjun admires Donghyuck for his confrontation abilities. Of course, Donghyuck is not as in the middle of all this as Renjun, but he himself would've dreaded running into Jaemin randomly in the hallway, would probably put a tracking device on Jaemin so he can properly avoid him, and – Heaven forbid – would not try to corner him and make him spill. Renjun really hates confrontation, he always has when it comes to people he's close with, that he likes, or rather: that he's afraid of losing, and this is probably one of the reasons why he finds it abnormally hard to tickle the kind of information out of you that he needs to sleep peacefully at night.

Either way, Donghyuck will get Jaemin, and his parents will get you, and Renjun gets all the information he needs without having to put in even an ounce of effort. Slowly, Renjun realizes that this is not that great of a foundation for a good relationship, platonically or romantically. Yeah, admittedly, he feels a bit like a wimp.

_____

Renjun's heart beats up his throat for no apparent reason, except for the fact that he's currently standing in front of his parents' house, having just pressed his finger into the button for the doorbell seconds prior. On his other hand: you, dressed up nicely as if you're trying to impress his parents, inevitably leading to a new hatch of butterflies dancing around in Renjun's stomach. He also quite enjoys the way your palm is a bit sweaty as you cling to his hand, proving that you're nervous, which means that you care. Renjun really likes imagining that you care.

"Son!" Renjun's father opens the door and pulls him into a strong, manly hug, his dad's large palm coming down on his back to knock the air out of him. Seconds later, the hug is over, and Renjun's father examines you.

You smile sweetly, holding his hand out for him to shake. Renjun's dad raises his eyebrows, grins, then shakes your hand aggressively. "Son, I gotta say-"

"Please refrain," Renjun pleads, and pulls you into the house. You both take your shoes off and enter the living room containing Renjun's mom who quickly fluffs out the pillows, then turns to you.

"It's great to meet you," she says, shakes your hand and throws Renjun a wink. Renjun cringes. He really loves his parents – well, his mom first and foremost, but yeah – but they have a disgruntling tendency to embarrass him. His mother, the social butterfly she is, immediately picks up a conversation with you and, to Renjun's upmost joy, you seem thrilled about it, your eyes sparkling as you talk to his mother. It's good, don't get him wrong, but beyond the surface, it's bad. There is a reason Renjun brought you here, well, not that it's the sole reason, but Renjun still needs to find out what it is that you do for a living, and when he gets blinded by this mind-numbing feeling of being absolutely in love with the way you get along with his mother, the dearest woman in his life, he will forget about it.

Hence, he excuses himself to see his father in the kitchen, preparing the food. Not that any of you or his mother would even notice his absence as Renjun's mom is already on her way to the shelf in the corner to pull out photo albums containing Renjun's best and worst memories growing up. But even as he stands in the kitchen, his gaze darts over through the open door to investigate your figure hunched over the printed stages of Renjun's puberty, giggling wholeheartedly over his mother's remarks about all of his friends in the past. His mother has always been good with names and faces.

Even later at the dinner table, Renjun is not able to concentrate one his father's cooking, or the light conversation taking place over the amount of food on the table that could feed an entire baseball team for three weeks. There is only one single thing on Renjun's mind: what is it that you are hiding?

Thankfully – might it be the telekinetic bond he has with his mother or just simple human interest – Renjun's mom, after a minute of silent munching, pipes up and throws the question into the room.

"Our Renjun worked hard to be a freelancer," she chuckles and briefly touches Renjun's forearm resting beside his plate, causing Renjun's ears to pipe up and his eyes to widen. "What is it that you do for a living?"

Renjun feels as if time stops, presumably because it does take you a little while to answer. You visibly gulp at the question, eyes avoiding every person at the table. "Well," you begin, then look up at everyone. You blink a few times and wet your lips before continuing. "I recently lost my job and am looking for something else at the moment." Your gaze catches Renjun's who can't hide his surprise. "Which is why I am extremely grateful for Renjun being there for me right now."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Renjun's mom comforts, a sad look on her face.

"It's okay. I mean- the firm had to ax jobs because of insolvency, so there wasn't really anything I could do about it." You nod to yourself. The following awkwardness lies heavily in the air, and before Renjun's father can even think about bringing alcohol to the table, his mother pipes up once again.

"Don't worry about it, dear. You are still young, there will be lots of job opportunities in the future, I'm sure of it," she smiles encouragingly and you manage to send a slight smile back. "Which reminds me!"

This time, Renjun's mom playfully pinches her husband's shoulder who dramatically mewls at the action. "We were just your age when we met!"

"Oh, really?" You smile widely, interested in the story Renjun's mom tells next, going into almost every detail regarding their first encounter. Renjun, having listened to this exact story countless times, relaxes in his seat. He feels a bit bad that he basically forced you to reveal this probably embarrassing detail about yourself in front of his parents the first time you meet them, but a much bigger part of him is just relieved since, basically, this explains it all. Maybe he should feel a bit used, a bit hurt that you didn't trust him enough to share this detail of your life with him, but on the other hand: he is just glad you're not secretly a serial killer or do porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that, he'd just like to know.

In the midst of his mom's speech, he catches your eyes and sends you a gentle smile which you reciprocate. His hand gently squeezes your thigh under the table, and he is pleasantly surprised as your hand finds his, casually interlocking your fingers with his and putting them on display on the table top.

"Well, good thing you met him before the year ended," Renjun's mother finishes. Renjun's eyes almost pop out of their sockets. Why would she bring that up?

"Why? What's happening at the end of the year?" You ask curiously.

"Christmas!" Renjun says, a bit too loud maybe, since all eyes are on him all of a sudden. "You know, cuffin' season. Heh..."

The day ends pleasantly. Renjun has to fight both of his parents off as they try to make you stay over night or "at least for another shot". Oh no, he has to get you home and, to be completely honest, right into his bed, or preferably the closest surface to the front door that you're willing to take him on. Not even the little remark his mother had whispered to him as he was waiting by the door for you to finish up in the bathroom can make him want you any less right now: "I'm so sure I know her from somewhere."

_____

Days pass and Renjun is on cloud nine. Things are going absolutely great with you, you do fun stuff together, and Renjun can have his little daddy moments every once in a while when you ask him to help you with your job search. He feels giddy all over when he goes to bed, and possibly even giddier when he wakes up to you soundly snoring in his arms. Life is perfect.

But Renjun wouldn't be Renjun if he didn't worry about something, and this time it is the last obstacle to overcome for this to be the absolute perfect relationship: you have to vibe with his friends. Well, first of all, he himself has to start vibing with all of his friends again. He has not seen or heard of Jaemin since he met him that day, and Donghyuck had either forgotten to corner the younger male, or forgotten to tell Renjun about it (classic Donghyuck).

Hence, Renjun calls Donghyuck (so he can't forget to respond to his messages) and makes a plan to meet. Said meeting actually occurs on the same day since Donghyuck feared Jaemin would flee the country if they didn't hurry.

About an hour later – and don't ask him how he convinced you to do this (he might have been using the short post-orgasm timeframe to suggest it when your mind was still cloudy and you were grinning like you were out of your mind) – you appear in front of Donghyuck and Jaemin's apartment.

Before Renjun can even reach out to ring the doorbell, Donghyuck rips open the door, shushes the both of you and hurries you inside. Shoes off, you all meet at the stinky kitchen table and Renjun is reminded of his first encounter with you that he had spilled about at this very table. He finds it a funny little memory.

"Jaemin is in his room," Donghyuck whispers and Renjun can smell the garlic fried chicken he must have had earlier in his breath.

"You didn't tell him we were coming?" Renjun whisper-shouts back and purposely avoids looking at you because he already knows of the disapproving stare the back of his head is receiving right now.

"One: he just had a girl over, and even though I seem like the type to barge into a room that reeks of sex to witness Jaemin balls deep in a chick, I've seen enough of that. Two: if I had told him, he would've possibly taken off no questions asked," Donghyuck reasons and Renjun has to, once again, question why Donghyuck always has to verbally visualize all the tmi details of his speech. Renjun turns to look at you, and you look unsure. Although you had voiced your concerns on the way here, and Renjun had to make you promise not to bail on him, he gets where you're coming from.

Taking you aside (turning around since Donghyuck is openly swiping on his tinder right now that Renjun knows he hasn't set an age limit to) he asks, "Are you okay with this?"

You take a deep breath before nodding. "I want to do this for you, Jun."

Renjun has to ask himself when he started to connect the feeling of love with the desire for sex because why is the first though that comes to mind to bend you over the sticky counter and have his balls slap against your thighs? On that note, he also should stop hanging out with Donghyuck so much if this is how his mind describes sex...

Instead, he presses a kiss to your lips, and apparently Donghyuck's forgotten about his rule of being quiet because he 'ooohh's and laughs dirtily. Renjun simply pays him no mind, unlike you who raises a questioning eyebrow.

"I say I go in first, prepare him for what's to come, and then get him out here so we can all talk," Renjun suggests and everyone nods in agreement. "And Donghyuck-"

"Hm?"

"Leave my girlfriend alone while I'm gone." Renjun squints at Donghyuck.

"I'll try my best." Donghyuck winks at him before brushing his tongue over his front teeth and then biting the air in your direction. Renjun cringes.

"I can defend myself, don't you worry," you confirm with a smile and Renjun wants to kiss the floor you're walking on. Well, maybe not this floor since he is sure that ketchup stain by the fridge has been there since they moved in and got McDonald's on the first night.

"Oh, you know martial arts?" Donghyuck questions with raised eyebrows and great interest.

"No, but I can aim for your balls!" You explain, nodding excitedly.

"Be careful, he might enjoy that," Renjun comments before leaving towards Jaemin's room. He can hear Donghyuck silently arguing his statement in the background before promising you that he would not enjoy that, even though everyone present knows that's a lie. Renjun giggles one last time before turning the corner and stepping into the narrow hallway leading to Donghyuck's and Jaemin's bedrooms while wishing they would open a window every once in a while.

The few steps to Jaemin's door seem endless, especially as Renjun walks past Donghyuck's room that he had forgotten to close the door to, greeting Renjun with the pleasant sight of a fleshlight. Renjun whines quietly, but realizes nonetheless that he is happy to be Donghyuck's friend. He might be disgusting, but it's actually kind of funny.

So, without proper preparation of what to say, Renjun arrives at Jaemin's door. His hand hesitates in front of the "alpha male", "gym bro" and "Fortnite" stickers on Jaemin's door before he actually manages to knock.

The second Jaemin takes to offer him to enter stretches like gum.

"Did you forget something, bunny?" Jaemin asks as soon as the door opens. Renjun is greeted with the sight of Jaemin's massive back facing him as he sits at his desk, an online poker game decorating the large screen in front of him.

Given the nickname, Renjun doubts that Jaemin has any clue that it's him in his room right now. He tries to think of a cocky answer, but he has never been the spontaneous type, so all that comes out is "call me bunny one more time and i might kiss you" and Renjun has no idea where that came from. Still, it does the job of making Jaemin spin around in his chair, eyes wide in shock as he sees Renjun (and not bunny) stand in the doorway.

It's been a while since Renjun's seen Jaemin, and that might be one of the reasons why he finds himself staring at the younger's chest muscles for a bit too long for it to be a coincidence.

Once he's managed to peel his eyes off of Jaemin's nude upper body (he is glad he's wearing boxer shorts, at least) he aims to say something again since Jaemin's sure taking a long time to respond.

"Good day, sir," Renjun says and frowns at how awkward he is. Finally, a chuckle escapes Jaemin. Renjun also isn't sure why he's being so nice to Jaemin. Last time he checked, he was furious and wanted Jaemin to suffer a pussy-less summer. Maybe it's because everything else is perfect right now, and he doesn't have it in him to feel angry anymore.

"Hello, Jun," Jaemin finally says before getting up and wrapping his meaty arms around Renjun who experiences a weird mixture of relief, a spark of arousal, and the feeling of being crushed to death, so he just gently pads Jaemin's body in return. When Jaemin finally lets go of him, holding him by his shoulders and gently shaking him, Renjun reminds himself of all the disgusting things in this room alone so he can stop finding his best friend hot (namely: the dead cactus by the dirty window, the trash can that's spilling over with used tissues and condom wrappers, the countless empty bottles scattered around the place, most of which still containing an unnaturally colored fluid and some of which sporting little white clumps, the pin-up-girl-posters, the old gym socks all over the floor that he can smell from here, and the thick layer of dust on- basically everything Jaemin doesn't touch every day). It helps.

Jaemin steps back, opens a window and lights a cigarette.

"So, uh," Renjun starts, "don't freak out."

Jaemin nods and smiles.

"But I'm here with," Renjun halts to force down a smile and fail, "with my girlfriend. And don't feel pressured right now! It's all good. But we.. we came to talk things out."

Jaemin is not smiling anymore, but nods nonetheless. Renjun feels a bit bad, a bit selfish, even.

"Would you, uh-" Renjun scratches the back of his head before stepping towards the window as well because the distance is making him feel a lot more awkward "Would you mind telling me what happened? Back then?"

"She didn't tell you?" Jaemin questions, and Renjun is trying his best to decipher how Jaemin is feeling right now. Is he upset? Does he care?

"She did, but... I wanted to hear your side of the story. You're my best friend, after all," Renjun admits, eyes wandering around the room awkwardly before looking at Jaemin again. He is a bit glad his fingers find an old gum wrapper on the window sill to fiddle with. "I know it probably didn't feel like that for you in the past weeks. I'm sorry. It should've been bros before hoes but-"

"I know, you're a hopeless romantic, Jun," Jaemin reasons, "no need to apologize. I guess I just didn't like getting confronted with my ugly past."

"I get that," Renjun says and smiles slightly. Next thing he knows, Jaemin's pressing a kiss to his forehead. Renjun turns beet red within seconds. "Stop it, idiot, I have a girlfriend."

Jaemin laughs loudly. "What, am I your gay awakening?"

"You know very well who my gay awakening was." Renjun thinks back to his high school days, especially that one kid, tall, handsome, loud and a little stupid. Oh, meow, his first love.

Jaemin ruffles his hair. "So, my side of the story, huh?" He leans on his forearms and looks out the window, blowing the smoke into the cold air. Renjun, already shivering a little, wonders how Jaemin's not dying from the cold right now. "There is not much to it, really. I was a horny teenager, she was a pretty girl. It was not cool of me to just – y'know – hit and run. I have learned since then. Girls know what they get themselves into when they hop into my bed, I make it very clear."

"Very noble of you," Renjun says, and he hopes it doesn't sound sarcastic to Jaemin's ears. This might not be Renjun's preferred lifestyle, but to each their own, who is he to judge? "I'm just hoping this won't stand between us."

"Oh, don't worry. I won't fuck your girlfriend again," Jaemin promises, snapping the bud of the cigarette out the window.

"Not what I meant-" Renjun says, but is honestly a bit relieved to hear that. Well, he's pretty sure you wouldn't cheat on him, and he knows that Jaemin has about 200 other options just off the top of his head, but it still feels nice to be reassured. "So, are we good?"

"We are so good," Jaemin announces with a grin, pulling Renjun into another rib-cracking hug. This time, Renjun actually manages to hug him back. He loves Jaemin dearly (platonically), even though he's a real pig at times. Renjun daydreams a bit more about how much he loves his friends before Jaemin detaches himself from Renjun to announce that they should probably head out so he can apologize to the real victim of all of this. Renjun swears he's going to twist Jaemin's nipples until they fall off if he goes out there to meet you without putting a shirt on first. Jaemin laughs, slaps Renjun's back so hard the air gets knocked out of his lungs, then complies and slips into the next best sweater.

Renjun sighs as he realizes the writings on it. Better than nothing, he guesses.

He isn't really surprised as they enter the kitchen to find Donghyuck flexing his very little gain of biceps in front of you and you booing at him with your thumb pointing downwards. Once you notice Jaemin, Renjun notices how you tense up a bit, and he immediately comes rushing to your side to feel you slightly relax with his arm around your shoulder.

"Long time no see-" Donghyuck squints at the lettering on Jaemin's sweater, "orgasm donor."

"Might have not seen you, but I definitely smelled those stinkers you leave in the bathroom for me to find," Jaemin responds. Renjun is a bit surprised to find that this whole situation must have affected Jaemin enough to not even interact with his platonic soulmate in the slightest.

"You make it sound like I don't flush," Donghyuck mumbles, but it goes unnoticed since Jaemin has now turned to you.

"I want to apologize, which I should've done way sooner," Jaemin starts, and the tension in the air is scaring Renjun a bit. "I was young and a total dick, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry."

No one says anything, not even Donghyuck, who has an opinion or at least a thought on everything. It is quiet for a good while, and Renjun fears that you are not ready to forgive Jaemin, which, in all honesty, is fair, given you've lived with the trauma he gave you for years now. Renjun has tried fairly often since he found out what you went through, but he can't imagine how he would've reacted (and lived on) if his first love (who took his v-card) just left without saying anything. (He had to move to fulfill his dream of becoming an idol a year later, sadly, but they're still in touch, on and off. This also makes his encounter with you on the living room floor the other night a bit ironic, but that is besides the point right now.)

Finally, you breathe in. The anxiety in Jaemin's eyes tightens. Everyone is holding their breath.

"I forgive you." You reach out and shake Jaemin's hand. Hell breaks loose in Renjun's chest because, wow, what did he do in his past life to deserve such luck. He is so happy, he smooches your cheek. You giggle, Jaemin smiles and Donghyuck hollers in the background. This little party goes on for a moment before the atmosphere relaxes again. Donghyuck pipes up again to fill the silent moment with an unnecessary comment, "is it just me or does this situation call for a gang bang?"

"Donghyuck, I swear to God, I am going to stuff you head first into Jaemin's nut-napkin-trash can and send a picture of it to your mom," Renjun hisses, but Donghyuck seems unfazed.

"Nothing she hasn't seen before." He shrugs. Renjun decides not to question it.

_____

Renjun's life is so wonderful, he wishes someone would write a story about it. With him by your side, you actually managed to get a job which occupies you half of every other day. Although, you still live with Renjun, which he doesn't mind at all. He loves having you come home to a freshly cooked dinner, to then snuggle on the couch until you either fall asleep or start diddling.

Renjun likes when it's the second option, just like tonight, where he's seated on the floor in front of the couch with your legs draped over his shoulders as he eats you out slowly and softly. Your gentle gasps are music to his ears, the prime time movie playing in the background long forgotten and tuned out as his attention is fully on you.

The slight tugs on his hair make his stomach churn with desire, hands and mouth suddenly too eager to keep his teasing manner up as he moves up to kiss you instead. You giggle into the kiss at his fiery passion, suggesting to take things to the bedroom instead.

Renjun does not need to be told twice as he pulls you against him, making you chuckle even more, and moves you to the bedroom.

Your back hits the mattress with a soft thud as you smile excitedly at Renjun who comes climbing over your body to be at eye level with you again. His hands find your hips, caressing their way upwards while pushing the silky fabric of your shirt up in the process, allowing your braless chest to meet his hungry eyes. The rest of your clothing follows suit, Renjun feeling the flame of lust relight once again as his bare skin touches yours.

"Can we try something tonight?" You suddenly whisper, gaze trained on Renjun's face waiting impatiently for his answer. With his mouth slightly agape, he nods. His eyes jump to where your hand is suddenly touching his, following as you move it upwards to your neck, gently wrapping his smooth fingers around it and applying pressure.

Renjun gulps in awe.

"Press here when you push in," you say, eyelids fluttering as you mimic the action with your fingers against his. Renjun nods carefully, pupils blown probably as wide as yours with lust and desire, heart pounding in his chest as if it was the first time all over again. He will always feel like this around you.

Finding your entrance, Renjun coats his tip with your essence, teasing your awaiting body for another moment or so until his tip catches at your hole. He remembers your words, the grip of his fingers tightening around your throat as he slowly pushes forward, length sinking in slowly.

He's not even all the way in and he can already feel you clench around him, walls hugging him as if they're afraid of letting him go, hole almost fluttering at the feeling of being choked. All that paired with how heavenly you look wrapped up in ecstasy, pretty moans flowing freely only impacted by the way Renjun restricts the flow of air into your lungs and of blood into your brain.

Renjun loves you. He is so deeply in love with you he feels like he could laugh and cry simultaneously, stomach tickling with the all too familiar butterflies every time you look at him. He can't ever get enough of you, he needs you close to him. Never is he going to let you go. He will fight for you, whatever that might mean.

"I'm so in love with you," Renjun can't hold back saying, gently gaze caressing you lovingly. The slow pace he sets makes both of you see stars, length dragging along your walls perfectly to bring you to your shared high.

And it's probably this what makes it sting 100 times more the next morning. You were up early to go to work, kissing Renjun's forehead goodbye as he was still idling sleepily in bed. His mind is still groggy when he peels himself off the sheets and picks up his phone for the first time that day, weak hands struggling to remove the charger. Although, all sleepiness is wiped from his body the second he looks at the screen.

The pretty lock screen picture he has showing you during golden hour is hidden behind a bunch of messages that came in over night. But Renjun is not interested in the four messages he had gotten from Donghyuck ("TW: dickpic", a photo, "can i send it like this or does the slit look off to you??" and "or is it just me?????") or the Instagram reel Jaemin sent to the group chat with the message "me when i was in renjun's gf ha haaa" and Donghyuck responding with "clean".

What makes Renjun's heart drop, beat 20 times its usual speed and then drop again is the following E-Mail notification:

Dear Renjun Huang,

we feel the need to inform you that during our yearly check-ups, we noticed that there has been an incident with your account. Unfortunately, it seems like there has been a mistake made on the company's side regarding your profile.

It seems that someone has hacked into our system, gotten to your private information and pretended to be your Soulmatch™.

We dearly apologize for this mistake. To protect your safety, we have now deleted your account and all private information regarding your person. Please get in touch with us if you want to press charges against the intruder.

Of course, we will pay back the amount you have spent on our Premium Love Package immediately.

Again, our deepest apologies.

Sincerely,

The Soulmatch™ Team

Renjun is not sure how to react to this. Immediately, he checks the app, but he is logged out already. He tries to log in, but his profile is nowhere to be found.

Putting his phone down, he falls onto his back. His mind is racing with thoughts, but they do not seem to make any sense. Someone pretended to be his soulmate? He has never gotten any matches except-

Except you.

Was this... all a hoax? Were you not his soulmate? Have you been lying to him all this time? Why? What does this even mean? How did you do it? And most importantly, what is he going to do now?

Before he knows it, tears start pooling in his eyes, and soon after they drip hotly down his cheeks.

You lied to him.

Have you just used him all this time? Is everything a lie? Do you even love him back? Where did the lies begin? Does he even know who you are? Is this why you've been so secretive about every single detail of your life? Because everything is just made up?

And he just let you. He put up with all of it because he is a pathetic romantic who believes in soulmates. Because he is so desperate to find love. You lied to him with every fibre of your being. And he kissed you. He made love to you. He held you and comforted you. Hell, he even let down his best friend because of you. How could he have been so stupid?

Renjun simply has no words. And he doesn't think he has anything to say to you ever again. He just wants to know why, and how, but he doesn't want to ask you because you're going to lie your way out of it anyway, no?

Shaky legs allow him to get up and walk over into the living room where all your stuff is scattered around.

He is so stupid. He let you live with him. He trusted you without question.

And you used him.

He never wants to see you or any of your stuff ever again, he decides as he kicks against your backpack leaned against the couch, wincing in pain immediately as the contents of the backpack appear to be much more solid than he presumed. His hands grab ahold of his injured foot, causing him to pathetically jump around on one leg until he gives up and falls onto the couch. Wow, he can't even have his dramatic meltdown without being an embarrassing idiot.

The next few hours he spends mostly crying or angrily pacing around. He's thrown all your stuff into a corner and covered it with a blanket so he doesn't need to get reminded of how he's just a pathetic loser every few minutes, although it doesn't help.

He is not sure whether to be upset about the fact that you can't use your phone at work or not, he only knows that by the time 2pm comes around (the time you get off work) he starts to panic.

He is not going to face you. Not now, not like this, preferably not ever. He debates if he should call you, but knowing how easily influenced he is, he'd probably let you lull him in again. No way is he going to face you, nor your voice, nor your texts. All that's left to notify you that Renjun wants you out of his life immediately is a handwritten note to leave while he goes and takes a walk, and hopefully by the time he comes back, you and all your stuff are gone.

Unfortunately, before he can even get a pen and a piece of paper, he hears the keys jiggling as the door is being unlocked. Renjun briefly debates whether jumping out the window would hurt less than this encounter.

"Honey I'm h-" your face comes into view, and Renjun feels his heart beat up his throat. He feels so uncomfortable, so bad, so stupid, so pathetic. "What's wrong?"

Okay, great. It seems to be written all over his face how his morning went.

"Don't you have anything to say to me?" Is all he gets out, cringing at how shaky his voice is, how weak and cracked it sounds after he's dramatically sobbed for a good half of his morning.

"What do you mean?" Your brows contort, and Renjun is glad that he for once does not feel any sexual attraction to you while you're fighting. This was too much.

"Maybe how you lied to me about every single aspect of your life?"

"Huh??"

Renjun wipes his face with one hand. "Didn't know you could hack."

The utter confusion on your face turns into an expression of shock, fear even. "Oh God, oh God."

"That's right, now you remember," Renjun says passive aggressively.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," you say, not meeting Renjun's eyes as you hold your stomach.

"Listen. I'm not going to scream at you. I just want you out. Out of here and out of my life," Renjun says and is surprised at how calm he appears.

"No, no, no, please. I can explain-"

"You can explain all you want, how can I ever believe something you say ever again after all you did was lie? Do you even love me?" Renjun raises his voice against his own better judgement, tears appearing in his eyes once again, but he doesn't let them spill out. He can't give you that kind of satisfaction.

By now, you're kneeling on the floor. The one and a half meters separating you from him feel endless, you're crying restlessly and Renjun doesn't even feel a pinch of empathy for you.

"I do! I love you, please, Renjun, please, you're all I have," you beg.

At this, Renjun feels his heart shatter a little more. Maybe he does have a bit of empathy for you. At the same time, a new wave of anger arises.

"I trusted you. I gave you everything. And you just- you lied. All you did was lie!"

"That's not true! I-" you suddenly crawl over to him and Renjun takes a step back. "I promise. I love you. Maybe the beginning was- fucked up, but everything after that was sincere! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please!"

At this point, the gates of pride can no longer contain Renjun's tears and he breaks down as well, his knees hit the floor in front of you and he begins sobbing. "How could you do this to me?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," is all you reply, hands reaching out to touch him, and he flinches back, but somehow still lets it happen, lets your arms wrap around him and burry your face in the crook of his neck as you pathetically whimper into the fabric of his shirt.

Renjun follows suit. Of course, he hates you right now, but a very big part of him is in love with you – or rather with the version of you that you made up (???). Not listening to the part of his consciousness screaming at him to stop, he wraps his arms around you as well, crying wholeheartedly against your shaking body.

He has no idea how long you sit there, his legs have gone numb at this point, everything hurts, and then you finally speak up.

"I can explain. It's not good, it's not nice, it's no excuse, but I at least want you to know the truth and not whatever truth you've made up in your head."

Renjun nods. He shouldn't, but he wants you to tell him what really happened.

He also hates that you know him so well.

You somehow find yourselves on the living room floor a few minutes later. Renjun's brought two bottles of water to hydrate after that crying fest out there.

"So, the app," you start, not meeting Renjun's eyes in the slightest. "I used to- work for them."

You take some time to let that sink in. Renjun decides he does not want to respond until the end.

"There was a huge data leakage, and I thought I had it under control, but turns out I didn't, which is why I had to meet you to get you to delete your profile- it's complicated. Or maybe I just made it complicated. But that is why.. you got that weird match. Usually, you can visit that person's profile, but obviously I couldn't have you see it was me because of- our previous encounter, which by the way wasn't planned! It was really just a coincidence!"

Renjun is unsure how this is making him feel.

"Anyway, so I came over. You went to the bathroom and I deleted the app of your phone. Silly me apparently forgot that i had to delete the profile, which is why I came back. I didn't plan for us to hook up again- or whatever. I just needed enough time to delete your profile, which I fucked up. This is already bad enough, but it gets worse."

Renjun does not like where this is going.

"Obviously, I got fired. And you know my situation by now, this was literally all I had. With what I had saved, it lasted me about half a year until I had no money left, I had no idea what to do. I applied for jobs everywhere, but no one was willing to hire me after finding out why I got fired last time. This is where it gets really fucked up. I'm sorry."

Your nervous fiddling makes Renjun believe you, even though he is not sure if he should.

"I- thought that... oh, God, this is so bad."

"Just say it," Renjun says and is not really surprised by how dead inside he sounds.

"Well, I thought that maybe if I like had sex with you again, you'd let me stay with you? I really don't know what the plan was, but... literally you're the only person I knew and... I don't know, I just thought- I guess I didn't think. But then you said you didn't want to have sex anymore, but wanted me to stay anyway- so I... used you... I mean, I still... liked you? Obviously, or else I wouldn't've slept with you.. twice! I mean- God, I'm such a horrible person.."

Renjun doesn't have to say anything to that.

"Well, and then things went so great – except for the Jaemin thing – and for the first time ever, I felt loved? Because I was? Literally, half the time I wished I would've stayed the time we first hooked up so we could have a normal relationship that isn't based on me trying to save my ass and using you... But everything was so beautiful. You made me feel safe, and I pretty much forgot about the app. I really just enjoyed being with you. I enjoyed falling in love with you. Even meeting your parents and friends, how you sorted out the Jaemin thing for me..."

Renjun believes you are genuine.

"That's it... I think.. I just- I'm sorry... I shouldn't have lied to you.. I should've just been honest from the beginning and said I made a mistake or whatever but- I don't know, I didn't. I guess I was scared? I don't know.. But please, I need you to believe me when I say everything after that was real. I love you. I like you, everything about you, and not only because you're kind and offered me a home... basically, no. I like you for you. I love you. Even if you-" you choke up briefly "decide that you don't want to be with me anymore, I just need you to believe me when I say... that I truly love you. I never lied about that, ever. Not once. And I wouldn't in a million years."

"Is that all?" Renjun asks after a minute. You, looking at him for the first time, nod. Before his heart can start beating again, before the butterflies can come back, he needs to remind himself that you used him. You used him and you lied.

"I mean, this is a lot," Renjun starts. You suddenly seem to be unable to look at him anymore. "I feel- actually I don't really know how I feel, but thank you for.. being honest, I hope?"

"I promise."

"I'm going to be honest, I feel... betrayed?"

"Rightfully so."

"I need some time to think about it... Is it.. okay.." Renjun rethinks his decision of asking you beforehand, "I'm going to need to take a walk.. clear my head, make up my mind. I'm not going to ask you to stay, but I'm also not asking you to leave. Do what you will..."

"I understand," you nod, and Renjun gets up. "Wait-"

Renjun halts and turns around to look at you getting up from your place on the carpet. "This might be.. wrong? Toxic? But... can I... if this is the last time I can... if you decide to.. not be with me... can I kiss you one last time?"

Renjun feels his throat close up at your words. Either you're a really, really good liar or you're being honest about your feelings. His breath hitches, his heart performs summersaults in his chest, and his voice trembles, "you can."

Carefully you lean in, slowly pressing your lips against his. There is not much going on, your hands gently hover on his shoulders, barely touching him at all, and your lips just stay still against his. Still, Renjun feels like a thousand silent words and a million hidden emotions clear up as his eyes close to feel you against him. His breath is shaky, he feels himself getting hot as more tears well up behind his closed lids. He really doesn't want to let you go.

As you part from him, his lips chase you for a split second before he realizes what he's doing. "I should get going."

"Be safe." You nod again and Renjun hears the threatening tears in your voice. God, how badly he wants to believe you.

'I love you, I love you!', his heart screams at him to scream at you, but he doesn't. Instead, he steps out of the room, grabs his keys, slips into his shoes and jacket, and heads out without looking back.

The cold air hits his face. Yet, unlike in the movies, he still doesn't feel any clearer. He still feels used and betrayed, he still feels like shit, but he knows he loves you. But is that enough of a reason to forgive you?

He tries to be logical, debate his options, but he can't focus. All that swirls around his brain is how your lips felt on his, and he wonders if kissing you was a mistake. This stupid, romantic mind of his...

Inevitably, after walking around the neighborhood for a good hour, thinking of nothing and everything, he decides that maybe he still isn't in the right mind to make a decision on his own. But who is he going to ask? Fucknut #1 and Serial-Fucker #2? Definitely not.

Therefore, he is glad his mother answers the phone after the second ring. Immediately, she knows something is up, and Renjun repeats the things you have told him (with less sexual details, as to be expected) to his mother who listens patiently.

Except for a "that's where I know her from!" and a short explanation how she saw a picture of you amongst your colleagues when she read that article about the love app, she just listens. Maybe he should've asked her about it back then, about the article. Maybe none of this would have happened. But then, he wouldn't have you in his life.

When he is done and asks for advice, she appears calm.

"Oh, Junnie. Love can be a funny thing. See, when I met your father, it wasn't easy either. Both of our families were against us, our lives were so different from each other, and still, there was so much connecting us that it had to be fate. I know it's hard to trust after something like this, I can only imagine what you're feeling right now, but you're a smart kid, you'll know what's right."

"But what would you do? What do you think?" Renjun asks.

His mother sighs and chuckles slightly. "Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic like you are, but... people make mistakes, Junnie. The universe brought you together so many times, I think it's fate. I don't know if you should forgive her, but I know I would."

"You would? You don't think I'm crazy? You don't think I'm letting her walk all over me?"

"Not that this should matter, but you haven't been completely honest with her either if I remember correctly?" His mom reminds him, and Renjun suddenly feels a bit lighter.

"The psychic," he mumbles.

"That's right. She told you you were going to be alone forever if you didn't meet someone by the end of this year, and that's the reason you signed up for that app in the first place. And a part of me believes that that's the reason why you even let her stay with you, why you were so willing to ignore all signs that something was up. Maybe you already knew?" His mother suggests and Renjun doesn't like it one bit how similar they are. Or maybe he does.

"How do you know me so well?" He whines, feeling a bit more confident about letting that kiss linger in his mind for so long.

"I raised you!" She chuckles and Renjun can feel himself smile. He thanks her again before ending the call before turning on his heels to head back home. God, he only hopes you're still there.

______

When Renjun unlocks the door to the apartment, his hands are shaking. It took him a good three attempts to finally get the key into the lock. Admittedly, he is nervous because, well, for obvious reasons, but he also isn't sure if you're still there. Your past of skidaddling when things get serious gives him every right to feel anxious as he listens for any signs of you still being around as he takes of his shoes.

He doesn't dare call out for you, instead he begins searching the place. He's not sure what's going to happen when he finds you since, well, it hasn't been nice of him to just leave you behind, but what was he going to do?!

His search is pointless, he realizes as he steps out of the last room, the bathroom, and you're not there. Honestly, he wasn't really confident that you'd still be there, but he had hope. What raises his eyebrow is that your stuff is still there, no longer cramped into the corner he threw them in a few hours ago, but neatly sorted and packed in case this was really the final day of your stay. But, point is: it's still there. Now why in the world would you head off and go your own way and leave all that behind.

It's then when the door is unlocked once again, your figure slipping in, red and puffy eyes meeting the puzzled Renjun standing in the hallway.

"Y-you're back," you deduct correctly, taking off your shoes and stepping inside.

"Sure am." Renjun isn't sure why he still sounds so pissed when he is here to forgive you. On a second thought, maybe he's too quick with it? Should he really listen to his mom and just- forgive you? Just like that? Oh, he already knows Donghyuck is going to put out a whole speech about how Renjun is "high on pussy" and "not thinking straight". But... he wants to. He wants to forgive you. He wanted to from the very first moment he saw that weird E-Mail. He just couldn't. And now he can... can he?

"I just went out to get your favorite snack from the little store down the street.. I thought it might... make you feel better," you finally reveal why you left the apartment and Renjun's heart jumps. "I dunno, I just- wanted to do something nice regardless of your decision." You nod to yourself.

Renjun just looks at you as you are unable to meet his eyes.

"They didn't have it, so I went to the other store, the one by the subway station, and they actually were out of stock, but I begged the guy to go check if they had some left somewhere," you inform him, shyly looking up at him, "my current state must've convinced him it was urgent." You smile weakly and motion to your face.

Renjun can't keep his strong demeanor up any longer. Two big steps (wow, he has to inform his doctor that his legs must've grown a few centimeters) and he's right in front of you, cupping your cheeks. "I love you," he simply says, your face so confused that you can only stutter a few syllables before Renjun crashes his lips to yours.

And, God, does it feel good. Honestly, he has so much more time to actually think about what you did, and what it means in the future, but he needs you here with him, right now, always and forever. Sure, it's going to take a bit for him to built his trust again, but for now, he doesn't actually care.

"I love you too," you manage to breathe out when Renjun parts from you.

"I realized a few things. And I may have been a bit dramatic? But, well, I also have a confession to make."

_____

Renjun pushed the admittedly tacky (and stereotypical? Renjun did get slight cultural appropriation vibes) curtain aside to slip into the dimly lit room, although once he entered, the aura of the room changed his mind completely. It's not that he had a sense for spirituality, but he has always been deeply interested in the matter, which made him glad his mother suggested to try it out once.

So this was it, Renjun's first Tarot card reading.

The lady had been super nice, Renjun could tell by one single glance she was competent and very able to perform this life changing reading for him.

"What question brings you here today?" She asked, shuffling her deck of cards which Renjun could not take his eyes off.

"Ask about your love life!" His mom urged beside him, giggling like the sunshine she is, and Renjun chuckled quickly before averting his eyes to look at the lady in front of them.

"Just- my future? If there is anything important I should know?" He decided since that would not exclude his mom's interests.

"Very well," the lady nodded and began shuffling the cards quicker, her hands rushing until one card fell out.

"Ah, The Fool," she explained, and Renjun frowned. His mother couldn't contain a chuckle. "Do not worry, dear. This is no description of your self. Instead The Fool can symbolize new beginnings. There is most likely change waiting for you."

Renjun felt his heart beat up his throat in a positive way, making him giddy to find out more. The lady shuffled her cards some more until two cards fell out at the same time.

"Here we have The Ace of Cups, upright, and The Lovers. There appears to be a new relationship waiting for you, a romantic one."

Renjun gently elbowed his mom next to him who seemed as erratic as he was right now.

"Oh dear, The High Priestess in reverse... this new relationship might be full of secrets, which can be good or bad, exciting or dangerous," The lady deducted, and Renjun gulped.

As she started shuffling again, three cards sprang out of the deck immediately, making even Renjun feel the urgency.

"Two of Wands, The Hermit, The Ace Of Pentacles," the lady read out, sounding worried.

"Why? What does it mean?" Renjun asked, worry also evident in his tone.

"Two of Wands might represent the urgency of this. You have to take action soon, or else – here comes The Hermit – you may find loneliness. The Ace of Pentacles shows us the time frame: one year. I get the strong feeling these cards are telling you to hurry finding that love, or you might be alone forever."

_____

"So basically that's why you've been this patient with me?"

"Basically," Renjun responds, feeling a bit bad about it, "I feel like I should've told you sooner?"

"Jun, don't worry. You're not the one who messed up here. If anything, this makes me feel a tiny bit better about how manipulative I've been..." You admit, frowning.

"Well, I'm not the only one calling the shots here," Renjun summarizes, "so I'm asking you: Do you still want to be my girlfriend?"

"Are you joking? I feel like you are," you say, a wide grin spreading over your face.

"Nope, I'm super serious," Renjun chuckles and pokes your shoulder for reasons he is not aware of.

"Wow, and here I was contemplating to offer you anal to make up for it," you joke (?).

Renjun blinks at you, his smile falling into a crooked smirk at the proposal of your kind offering. "I mean... is the offer still on the table?"

"You are such a man," you pinch him, but do not reject the idea.

"What if we did it right now? Right here?" Renjun suddenly grabs your waist, pulling you closer to his body and starts kissing your neck. His tone (hopefully) brings across that he's joking, that you obviously won't do it right now, but not never either, if you're still up for it.

"You'd be the first," you chuckle before kissing Renjun's nose.

"Stop making me hard," he mumbles before attacking you with more kisses. "I know it's only been like a few hours, but I missed you so much. Let's not fight ever again, yeah?"

"I agree," you say and Renjun pulls back to look at you. Maybe this is silly, maybe he forgives too easily, but it just feels right. The look in your eyes is so genuine, as was the offer of doing butt stuff, that Renjun is just pretty much sure that this was this one big thing every relationship has and now it will only get better.

"Or is there anything else you need to tell me," Renjun teases.

"Not a thing, you now know everything there is to know about me, which, admittedly, isn't that much.. do you have a confession to make?"

Renjun thinks for a second. "Well, just this one thing. Remember when we went to Jaemin's to talk things out? He was practically naked when I went in there and I may have stared a bit until I remembered that he is disgusting."

"Oh, word. His chest is super-"

"Hey." Renjun furrows his brows half playfully joking, half dead serious. "I get to say that. You don't."

You mimic zipping your mouth shut, locking it and throwing the key away. Renjun laughs and takes your hand in his to hold. "So, all this talk about anal and Jaemin... why don't we take this to the bedroom?"

"You really won't let this go, huh?" You smirk. "I'd say: what comes around goes around. Whatever you do to my butt, I'll do to yours."

"I believe I have never loved you more than right now," Renjun sighs before kissing you once again, on the mouth this time, and he feels like time stands still and rushes past double it's normal speed. His hands wander over your body, taking everything in, feeling you against him because you are his, once again, finally. Your hands are as excited touching him, and it dawns on Renjun that you're probably not going to make it to the bedroom, which is fine since he owns this entire place anyway (it's a rental, but you get the point).

Both of your clothes are off in no time, leaving Renjun's hands to freely roam over your naked skin, and it feels just as exhilarating as if you'd never had that fight. That stupid, stupid fight, right now, Renjun can't even remember what it was about, but that could partly be because of the lack of blood in his brain. His heavy erection is currently pressed heavenly against your lower stomach as you make out wildly, and Renjun can't even think about the usual foreplay he finds so important as you start rubbing your wetness all over him. He just wants to be in you, be connected to you, feel all of you against and around him, have the both of you desperately grinding and panting against each other.

Although, he feels kind of more dominant today, maybe there is still a very slight aftertaste of your betrayal lingering and he feels the need to show you that he can be in control over you if he wants to, or maybe he just feels extra manly and prideful today after you did everything to prove to him that you want him in your life. He decides that being on top would be enough to satisfy that need, so he gently pushes you back and lays you down on your back.

His tip brushes over your clit and you whine, a sound that is music to Renjun's ears, and when you speak up and practically beg him to just "put it in", who is he to deny you that wish?

Aligning himself with your hole, he gently pushes forward, allowing his tip to disappear between your velvety walls, and he loves how your eyes roll back and you gasp at how good he feels.

"Only the tip and you're already drooling," he observes, biting his lower lip smugly before pulling back out and repeating the action of fucking just the tip into you several times before giving in to your quiet pleas and pushes all the way in.

You choke on your moan at this, eyes glazed over with lust finding Renjun's under eyebrows furrowed by pleasure. Renjun can already feel you pulsating around him and God does that stroke his ego.

Although he decides he could be having more of an effect on you right now, so he places your legs on his shoulders instead of around his waist, and practically folds you in half to open you up for him so he can fill you deeper, so deeply his tip grazes at your cervix. To intensify your pleasure, his fingers come up to rub at your wet clit, three fingers massaging the nub in quick circles, the wetness allowing him to glide over the surface perfectly.

And your body seems to agree. In no time – Renjun's sure he must've set a new record – you announce that you're ready, seconds away from reaching your high, and Renjun thinks twice about letting you taste it. Well, you did kind of fuck up, but fuck it. Renjun loves the look on your face when you cum just too much to deny you it, instead spurring you on by telling you just how good you are for him, what a perfect girl you are and how much he loves having you cum on his cock.

Seconds later, you orgasm, clamping walls choking his dick in the best way possible, the look on your face and the moans sounding from your throat so pretty that Renjun feels like he's fallen in love all over again. When you come down, he praises you and kisses you, never missing an opportunity to tell you just how perfect you are.

"More," you whisper to him, eyelids heavy as your blurred view tries to find Renjun's eyes, and he briefly chuckles before granting your wish.

"Greedy are we?" He sets a faster pace this time, balls slapping against your ass where your wetness had already dripped down and probably seeped into the couch. Renjun feels so good, so happy, so fulfilled, and he is once again reminded why it was the right decision to forgive you. He is such a man, he thinks, and is reminded of a few minutes ago when you said that to him.

"Can you turn around for me, baby?" He asks, suddenly in the mood to watch your ass as he repeatedly disappears into you, and you comply, allowing him to pull out before getting on your hands and knees. Renjun grins seeing your beautiful ass in front of him, he gently slaps it two times before gently pressing on your back to get you to lie down for him again, though this time on your stomach. He enters you again, filling you up perfectly once again, like you were made for each other, and he puts his entire weight on you to be able to still whisper in your ear.

His fingers find your hair, not to pull, just to be there so you feel it, and as he rams himself inside repeatedly, he mumbles the dirtiest things to you, about how well you're taking him, how beautiful you look underneath him and how much he just loves to fuck you. And yes, he even goes into detail (damnit Donghyuck) about how perfectly tight you are for him. A hand sneaks between your body and the couch, fingers quickly finding your clit again and you whine.

"'s so good," you say, voice trembling, "love you s'much."

"I love you too, baby," Renjun responds, grinning ear to ear like a maniac because he just loves this effect he has on you. This might just be a fantasy, but he's sure he's the only one who could ever make you feel this good. And admittedly, even right now when you're not doing much except take it, you make him feel just as good.

"Fuck, I think I'm gonna cum," he grunts, and you whine, cunt clenching around him at the mere prospect of him reaching his high.

"Me too, God," you manage to bring out.

"Where do you want it?" Renjun asks. Although he already knows your answer, he loves hearing you say it.

"I-inside, please," you mewl, arching your back a bit more to give him perfect access, "cu- cumming, cumming, cumming."

And just as you orgasm around him, walls wrapping around Renjun's cock impossibly tight, he follows suit, pressing his hips against your ass to fill you as deeply as possible. He pushes in a few more times to really get it all in there, have all his cum so deep inside you'll still feel it the next day.

"God, fuck, I love you so much," he pants, now a little exhausted as the adrenaline washes off. He pulls out, allowing you to turn around on your back and smile at him. God, he loves seeing you fucked out like this.

"I love you," you reply, then your nose scrunches and Renjun remembers that, when you shoot cum inside someone, it's going to inevitably drip back out, and he doesn't have to ruin his couch any more than he already did.

______

Renjun's arm is draped over your body, cuddling and talking in bed after the intense 4 rounds you just had, and maybe Renjun should've seen it coming, but honestly? How could he? So he jumps as he hears the doorbell ring.

"Who the fuck..." he mumbles as he gets up, puts on some underwear (at least) and stumbles to the door.

"Tell them to come back tomorrow, I'm not done with you," you giggle behind him as you slip into one of Renjun's shirts and a pair of panties you find laying on the floor. Renjun grins and throws you a wink before turning on the speaker.

"Hello?"

"Congratulations!"

"What the fuck are you asshats doing here?" Renjun groans and hides his face in his unoccupied hand. You have stepped over and are now pressing your ear against the speaker to be able to listen as well.

"We heard the news and came to celebrate?" Jaemin says.

"Actually, we didn't know how it went so we brought booze either for celebrating or for condolences. We took a wild guess," Donghyuck adds.

"How do you even-"

"Your mom told me."

"I don't think I appreciate you being involved with my mom..."

"Your words, not mine. Now open up."

"We're not exactly... dressed appropriately," Renjun informs and he can hear Jaemin howl and Donghyuck laugh.

"Let us in, we'll give you 2 minutes," Jaemin says.

"As if I'm going to believe you'd be passing an opportunity to barge in and see my girlfriend in her undies," Renjun says.

"Open up!" Donghyuck pushes.

"We just fucked four times!" You chime in, and Renjun isn't sure why you needed to clarify what didn't need to be clarified. Especially since, except for a few cheers that die down quickly, it's silent for a good 20 seconds until Donghyuck informs you that the old lady living two floors below just came home and most definitely heard that.

"Just let us in," Jaemin shouts right into the speaker and Renjun has to hold it away from his ear to not go deaf.

"Are you okay with this? I'm sure I could make them leave... somehow..."

"Sure! I could take two more," you joke and Renjun squints at you, making you teasingly roll your eyes. "Kidding."

"Okay, give us a few," Renjun says and just hangs up before they can complain. You both run into the bedroom and get changed into relatively acceptable clothing and Renjun has the decency to at least open a window to make the strong smell of sex lighten a bit before he checks in with you again, then opens the door.

Donghyuck and Jaemin's hollers can be heard echoing through the hallways until they finally show up at Renjun's door step.

"Nice work, man," Jaemin compliments as he sees the state of your still slightly tousled hair, and pats Renjun's back. They take off their shoes and let themselves in. While Jaemin stores the alcohol they brought in the fridge, Donghyuck skips into the living room to occupy Renjun's phone charger.

Oh, no. The living room.

Renjun darts after him, holding onto the door frame to not fall from the immense speed of his sprint, but it's too late. Donghyuck is already grinning at the used tissues scattered around the place and Renjun's underwear dangling from the uplight.

"You really are just high on pussy, it seems," Donghyuck teases, clearly hinting at how Renjun forgave you too (?) quickly. "You're not thinking straight. Or too straight..."

"You don't even know the whole story," Renjun defends himself while crossing his arms.

"Don't worry man, I'm not judging. I feel like this is the right thing for you," Donghyuck says and Renjun is surprised at his choice of words... such a... lack of disgusting-ness? Donghyuck even trots over and places a brotherly hand on Renjun's shoulder and gives him a smile.

"Thank you," Renjun says and means it. Donghyuck takes a few steps back, bows, then his eyes lock in on something on the floor.

"I think I'm taking these with me," Donghyuck announces before bending down further and holding up your panties with his forefinger.

"Don't you dare-" Renjun warns, but Donghyuck already started pushing the fabric into his pocket.

"Take it out," you say, suddenly appearing behind Renjun. Donghyuck seems taken aback, especially as you step over and grab his hair. "Give. Them. Back."

You pull hard, only once, and Donghyuck moans, but complies, and Renjun is party impressed and partly enraged.

"Starting without me?" Jaemin grins as he, too, has appeared in the room by now.

"Guys, I think we need some boundaries regarding my girlfriend," Renjun hisses through grit teeth. You agree, finally letting go of Donghyuck's hair who falls to his knees. Jaemin shrugs and sits down on the couch just as Renjun stuffs the used tissues into his pocket.

"What do you say?" You address Donghyuck who whines out a pathetic apology. You grin. "Sorry, this is kind of fun," you whisper to Renjun.

"I mean if you want to, you could talk like that to me every once in a while-" Renjun mumbles back, immediately feeling you cling to his side.

"Yeah?" You bite your lip.

"There was some talk about boundaries?" Jaemin recalls and you back off a bit. "When I can't have it, at least don't rub it in my face- unless you're going to literally rub it in my face-"

"I swear to God-"

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