#being autistic makes things very difficult for me

[kyoshitargaryen]

a neurodivergent breakdown of the 3D and 4D for manifesting + shifting

key: 3D — the physical world, what you experience in your current reality, intrusive thoughts, emotions ; 4D — imagination, visualization / affirmation for manifestations and desired realities, intentional thoughts, beliefs

table of contents — brief explanation of 3D and 4D – living in the 4D – on belief (and believing even when you don't believe) – decentring the 3D – participating in the 3D

for the longest time, I couldn't grasp how to participate in the 3D without feeling as though I was invalidating or preventing my manifestations. I'm not gonna lie, this was most likely my autism skewing my view.

I naturally have a very black-and-white, rigid way of thinking. many neurodivergent people do, and if you're one of us, or maybe you need a little confirmation that what you're doing is right, stick around for an easy (or easier?) to grasp explanation.

brief explanation of the 3D and 4D

the 3D and the 4D are intimately tied together, with the 3D being a dependent variable and the 4D being an independent one

dependent variable — a variable (denoted by y) whose value is determined by that of another independent variable — a variable (denoted by x) whose value is being changed on its own, not by the influence of another variable

in other words, the 4D is the cause, and the 3D is the effect. if you follow the law of assumption and neville goddard, you've likely heard the quote "consciousness is the only reality." as in, the things we pay attention to, shape our reality. neville goddard says that our reality — the people we interact with, the things we experience, the opportunities given to us — are directly tied to and mirror our subconscious.

living in the 4D

just like a knot can be tied, our reality can be both made and unmade. the 3D is pliable and moldable. in order to do so, we must live in the 4D, as in, live in imagination.

living in imagination isn't simply daydreaming about what you wish to manifest, it's about actively embodying the perception of already having your desire.

if I were to want to manifest being an incredible singer, I would act as though I were, even if in reality my singing could break eardrums. I would sing my favourite songs without worrying about whether or not I was good, because I already know that I am great.

since the 4D directly causes change to the 3D, it is what we do and believe in imagination that will be reflected in reality. what we believe is what we get. if I were to be insecure and believe that I were a terrible singer, the 3D would show me that I was a terrible singer.

living in the 4D means we cannot focus on getting our desire in the 3D, as that would be pedestaling the 3D and grounding yourself in it. just like you cannot centre men in your life as a woman for the sake of your emotional health and self-esteem, you cannot centre the 3D for the sake of your manifestations.

on belief + believing even when you don't believe

this was a really difficult concept for me to grasp. how can I believe in something when I know it's not true? how can I fake a belief?

it's actually terribly easy to. the first step to believing when you don't believe is persistence.

have you ever had an ironic inside joke with your friends, or just did something ironically? I guarantee you, over time it became a natural part of your life, your vocabulary, your mannerisms. that's because your subconscious doesn't know when you're kidding. your subconscious is probably more autistic than you are, in that it will take what you say or do at face value and apply it to your personality. (really makes you think about how often self-deprecating jokes aligns with poor mental health, huh?)

that's why persistence is key. even if at first you don't believe, continue to enforce the idea that you do until it actually manifests within your mind.

decentring the 3D

I came up with this idea after hearing about the feminist concept of decentring men.

what is decentring men?

the concept of decentring men is to turn away from patriarchal and male-centric perspectives and beliefs, instead turning inward and focusing on your own wants, wishes, desires, and needs. instead of looking for validation through men or other social means, you simply validate yourself. where you may have valued the social norm or others, you instead place yourself at the centre of your own life.

how can we decentre the 3D?

just like the patriarchy has taught us to seek validation from external factors like men, the world has taught us to find validation in what is right in front of us — the 3D.

like decentring men, we must learn how to find satisfaction and validation in the 4D instead of seeking instant gratification from the 3D. there are many ways to do this, including;

understanding that you are in fact in your DR / already have your manifestations

it's agreed that time is not linear, it is simply that our brain processes it as such. even if you do not personally believe in shifting or the multiverse, it has been widely agreed that time moves in all directions, not just forward. by that reasoning, you already have your desire, and you're already in your desired reality, because events exist even when our brains have not yet processed them.

take the 3D as though it were someone doubting you

have you ever expressed a dream, desire, aspiration to someone, only to be told you could never do it or it's not possible? think of the 3D as being the same way. what do you do then?

prove them wrong. brush it off your shoulders. read my post about how to do this here.

Schrödinger's Cat — understanding that you are in your DR until you allow yourself to view otherwise

Schrödinger's cat is a thought experiment that boils down to the fact that we cannot guarantee an outcome if we do not experience it, i.e. a quantum superposition, which is the principal that something can exist or be represented by multiple values (or outcomes).

the cat is both alive and dead on a quantum level, until we observe an outcome. a path has not yet been carved until we align ourselves to one. you may benefit from my post on the butterfly effect and how it validates shifting and infinite realities, which you can read here.

close your eyes. you are both in your desired reality and your original reality until you prove to yourself otherwise, as in, opening your eyes. at the same time, thanks to infinite realities, you are both in your desired reality, your original reality, and infinite more until you choose to become aware of one singular reality.

when you choose to shift, you are in your desired reality until you allow yourself to come back to your original reality, by quitting. lean into that knowledge — allow yourself to truly feel that when you visualize, affirm, or try to shift to your DR, you are genuinely there. find validation and satisfaction in that. allow yourself to say I shifted whenever you do those things.

as to how you can let yourself say you've shifted when in terms of the 3D, you haven't — that's what the next section is all about.

participating in the 3D

how can we live in the 4D, find satisfaction in the 4D, all without abandoning the 3D? how can we participate in the 3D without forsaking our manifestations?

have you ever been in a situation where you know something, but the other person doesn't know that you know it? let's say you want to hear this person's unfiltered perspective, without justifications or explanations, to see what they add or leave out. you may act shocked to find out information you already knew, angry on their behalf when you know it is them who is actually in the wrong, or confused when you actually aren't.

do exactly that with the 3D, treat it like you would a lying friend or boyfriend when you want to collect all information. you can still be honest about the events in the 3D and your experience with them while also not letting them influence your internal world and 4D.

you don't and shouldn't post success stories publicly if you haven't done them in the 3D, but you can absolutely allow yourself such within your own mind. keep 3D events in the 3D, and keep 4D events in the 4D.

in the 3D, I'm an awful singer and will admit so, but within the 4D and my own mind, I am brilliant and beautiful.

living in the 4D doesn't mean to lie, it just means to compartmentalize your actions in the 3D and the 4D into separate boxes. this includes allowing yourself to feel emotions like frustration, sadness, doubt. let yourself feel them, let them pass, and then realign with your manifestations.

treat the 3D as though it were friend group one, where you act one way, and treat the 4D as if it were friend group two, where you act a different way.

treat your 4D self as though it were the 3D's child, and your 3D self as though it were the 4D's parent. you wouldn't want your child to see you sad, angry, or scared. you wouldn't want your child to see you feeling like things were out of control or not guaranteed. you would instead excuse yourself to a private moment, feel everything you need to in your own presence, and then return to your child more assured. make your child feel as though its dreams are guaranteed and already there. preserve your child's joy, belief, and innocence. do all of that for the 4D.

that's all for now! I hope this helps you all as much as it has helped me

yoshi!!

[those2fireboys]

I cut out the parts that made it fit the final criteria so this is just me being autistic abt autistic house.

Autism spectrum disorder is a difficult thing to represent in movies, tv shows, and books because it is a spectrum. Every person is going to experience it differently, so it gets into dodgy territory when it's portrayed in media, especially when it's not canon confirmed. Lots of characters have autistic traits, or “coding,” which means they have behaviors or characteristics that might align with how autism is understood, but the creators may not explicitly confirm the character as being on the spectrum. This coding can be intentional or unintentional, but it often reflects a lack of clear representation or a misunderstanding of the diversity of the autism spectrum. I am going to do a deep dive into one of these, widely accepted “autistic coded” characters, and explain how the show could have benefited from a confirmation of this character's autism.

Gregory House is the main character of the 2004 medical drama House MD. He is often implied to be autistic by both fans and the show itself. But this was 2004, and Dr Gregory House is supposed to be a suave, intelligent doctor. He cant have autism spectrum disorder.. Right?

Well, not exactly.

Dr. James Wilson: I'm going to read you something. "Asperger's syndrome is a mild and rare form of autism. It is typically characterized by difficulty establishing friendships and playing with peers, trouble accepting conventional social rules, and they dislike any change in setting or routine"... or broadloom. Don't say that last part but you get my point.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: House doesn't have Asperger's. The diagnosis is much simpler. He's a jerk.

Dr. James Wilson: Why do you think he took this case? Because he believes these parents? Because he wants to help a young boy? He sees himself in this kid, and he's trying to help himself... He doesn't want this, he needs it.

Symptoms

Social Challenges

1a. Difficulty with empathy

1b. Blunt honesty

1c. Difficulty maintain relationships

2. Desire for Sameness

2a. See The Carpet™ situation

2b. His office (S8)

2c. Struggles when his interns leave

3. Sensory issues and Difficulty with Emotional Regulation

3a. Chronic pain, increasing with emotional issues

3b. Emotional overload

3c. He drives a car into his ex’s living room

4. Fidgeting / Stimming

4a. The Tennis Ball

4b. Twirling the Cane

4c. The vicodin bottle

1a. House has a very hard time with empathy, and while this could be interpreted as him just being a jerk, it could also be a symptom of autism. People with autism often struggle with empathy and understanding others emotions.

For example, in season 3 episode 9, House says, "It's a good thing you failed to become a mom, because you suck at it!" to Cuddy, in a moment of anger. Later in the episode he apologizes but struggles to understand why she is still upset at the comment after.

1b. House is extremely blunt. Again this can be interrupted as him being rude but it's also a common symptom of autism. House can be seen being extremely blunt with patients often leaving them and his coworkers shocked with his bedside manner.

1c. House has difficulty with vulnerability, often insulting his friends and people close to him when he's frustrated, or straight up ignoring them when he's focused on work, making it difficult to maintain relationships. These failings often lead to conflicts, and eventual breakdowns. However, when these breakdowns happen, usually House makes an (albeit stilted) effort to get these relationships back in order.

Dr Wilson: “I only have two things that worked for me: this job and this stupid, screwed-up friendship and neither mattered enough for you to give one lousy speech”

Dr. House: “They matter.”

2a. In season 3 House gets shot in his office and when he comes back to work the carpet in his office has obviously been replaced, as it was covering blood and stained. He has a meltdown and refuses to work in his office until the old carpet is restored. He says, “It's my office. It's where I work, where I think, where I save lives, I want it back the way it was.” He works in various places throughout the hospital but refuses to work in his office. Eventually the carpet is restored and he goes back to his office.

Autistic people often struggle with change, and need routine to function. Dr House struggles with this desire for sameness.

2b. Another example of Dr House’s desire for sameness is in season 8. House goes to prison and when he returns to the hospital he discovers that his office has been repurposed for another department. As in season 3, he refuses to work in his office until he gets his office back to the way it was. He annoys the other workers in his former office until they agree to leave and give his office back.

2c.  Many times throughout the show employees leave the hospital or work in another department. Whenever this happens House struggles to adjust to the change. For example, in season 4 all of House's fellows quit and he has to hire new ones. First he refuses to hire new doctors and tries to get the original team to come back. He then hired 40 fellows at once to avoid having to make a choice right away. House has to take time to adjust to the change before he can create a new routine.

3a. House has chronic pain due to an injury, he takes vicodin to help with this pain. However it's revealed in many instances throughout the show that the pain is connected to emotional issues. His pain increases when he can't deal with his emotions.

He takes vicodin to numb emotional pain. A lot of autistic individuals struggle to identify and deal with their emotions. Addiction is also common within autistic individuals because they struggle with pain and physical regulation.

3b. House often struggles with overly emotional situations, often leading to a meltdown. For example season 7 episode 15 “Bombshells,” in this episode House’s girlfriend is in the hospital and he avoids going to support her at all costs because he knows it will be a high emotion situation that he wants to avoid. Eventually he takes vicodin and goes to see her which ends up causing their breakup. After the break up House basically loses his mind, taking vicodin, drinking, and hiring prostitutes. In the end he ends up jumping off the balcony of a hotel into the pool.

These episodes really exemplify how much he struggles with sensory issues, specifically regarding his emotions. This is one of the most common symptoms of autism, in fact its part of the diagnostic criteria.

3c. In season 7 episode 23 House drives his car into Cuddy’s living room in a moment of anger. He misses her, he's angry that they broke up, and he's angry that she has moved on from him. He makes this decision in a split second and he clearly can't talk himself down. He can't emotionally regulate himself once it gets past a certain point.

4. I’ll group these three together for ease. One of the most common symptoms of autism and neurodiversity in general is fidgeting and stimming. Stimming is defined as “a self stimulating behavior, usually characterized as repetitive movements, actions, or vocalizations.” These actions aid in self regulation for autistic individuals.

House is often seen pacing, twirling his cane, or his vicodin bottle, and repeatedly throwing a tennis ball against the wall. These actions all reflect stimming behaviors. He focuses more heavily on these actions when he is deep in thought or struggling with an emotional situation, this reflects the self regulatory nature of these actions.

why do people hate the idea of house being autistic like guys... Have we forgotten headcanons, do we hate the joy of expressing yourself through a character... Also there are actual people giving evidence to their suspicion of house having autism why am I seeing autistic house haters on my dash....

[katetorias]

a piece about the incongruence of existing in an autistic way, while also struggling to connect to reality as part of a system/the blurryness that can accompany systemhood

ramble under cut:

I was reading Jack’s journal from a couple of days ago, before writing mine. he knew this week would be weird, I think he could feel the burnout too. i wish he was nearby, I miss everyone a lot. but tomorrow I get to get high with noct and have a good time, and I have therapy on Wednesday, so I know it’ll be ok :)

[teplejtrouba]

every so often i now notice my first beard hairs coming in. it's incredibly euphoric but also scary as i Do Not trust myself with sharp objects and am a coward and im already dreading having to shave. but i am also a snob and an aesthete and don't want a few stupid stray hairs on my neck. i also miss my smooth luscious baby face because of sensory reasons.

[brittlebutch]

finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it

[freakwiththeknifecollection]

Years of reading and writing disapproving parent fic have come back to haunt me, as I'M now the one committing faux pas in front of my partner's uptight parents 🫠✌️

[a-walking-fandom-reference]

i hate when people act like you are really only learning a language if you can speak it or as soon as they hear you are learning a language they ask you to say something…

[neverendingford]

.

[alchemiclee]

I want to cosplay the fontaine siblings with some friends so bad!!!! but where do I get friends

[jewishdragon]

If you didnt believe Laios was autistic before todays episode i hope it clears that up for you

we were first shown his special interest, a very autistic trait to have. We get to see him indulge in his interest, we get to see him happy.

but this episode contains the scene that makes it clear Laios cannot understand social cues, tone of voice, sarcasm, or subtlety. He actively suffers socially with other humans.

Shuro is pissed Laios didnt pick up on the fact that he hated Laios, because he was being passive aggressive (at best, Shuro bottled up a lot of feelings), and said verbally he was Laios' friend. Laios takes things at face value, if someone says "im your friend" that's what he believes is true.

He hates that Laios "gets to be genuine". I hate the way he says that "gets" as if its a privilege for Laios. It's a privilege for Shuro who is nobility and has his behavior and emotions stifled. Laios doesnt understand that others are NOT genuine. he's not from that world.

that's why Laios asks "why didnt you TELL me?" and Shuro says it should have been obvious.

it was NOT obvious to Laios, not at all.

And also, that was who Laios thought was his FIRST friend on the island. he thought he made a friend, something actively difficult for him to do.

it devastated him to learn that he was wrong the entire time.

[pukicho]

do u find it weird that some people just assume u have autism b/c ur good at something. ive been seeing this a lot lately and i would be really weirded out if it happened to me even tho i am autistic 😭

Boring people conflate dedicating one's time to learning a new thing as having a “hyper-fixation” or being "autistic" - this is fucking annoying for two reasons: For one, I am not autistic, so what right do I have to parade around the term? Especially since, as cool as it might sound to be super dedicated toward your hobbies, it also comes with an inherent difficulty to pick up on social-cues and manage one's emotions. I knew someone rather closely with high-support autism, it was not fun; I know life was hard for them - and yeah, he was very good at focusing on his hobbies and interests, but anything outside of those tasks posed to be incredibly difficult and emotionally draining.

Two. Just because I, a neurotypical person managed to focus on my hobbies and get good at them, doesn't mean I have some neurodevelopment disorder. Jesus fucking christ, have you tried making an EFFORT on the thing you're interested in?? People are so used to being boring FUCKS that they forget they can very easily pick up a pen and start drawing, or download a free program and start producing. People go around living their whole lives in awe of the fact that other people aren't boring fucking zombies like them, hooly shit!

[copperbadge]

I don't know if it's an ADHD thing or just a me thing but I've realized that I get really anxious about major life changes because they often feel illegal.

Like, I know it's harder for people with ADHD to envision the future, and I know Autism can make adapting to change difficult -- I'm not Autistic but many family members are and yeah transitions were very stressful because of it, as a kid. But I keep thinking what if I get caught.

By who? For what? I just started sleeping with a new person I like, who is safe and likes me too. I recently started a new medication that might alter my brain chemistry. Neither of these things are illegal or even especially illicit. But they feel that way.

And it's not that, for example, I think sex is something to get into trouble for, I wasn't raised that it was sinful or anything, I had a pretty sex positive upbringing. But it's been a long time since I've had a partner and it's a major change in my status quo for the last ten-fifteen years, and that feels like it could fuck up my whole life. How? Brain doesn't say. It's just any "new normal" activates my flight response. If I caused it I'm responsible for it, and if it goes south, I'm on the hook. What hook? THE HOOK.

I don't know where that comes from. But some days I want to bolt my responsibilities and lock myself inside my home forever. I don't, at least not usually, but it's tempting. I know the "and I'm being so brave about it" meme is a joke, but sometimes yeah, I'm doing some really minor normal thing that people do all the time and I'm being so brave about it.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

What can we do to improve employment for autistic people? Everyone on Tumblr just complains which doesn't really help me at all.

It's different for everyone as every autistic person has different support needs, but here are some examples in no particular order:

Allowed to wear headphones/earplugs (and not shamed for it!)

Clear tasks and written instructions - personally I find it very difficult to follow and remember verbal instructions and I know I'm not the only one

Allowed to have and use fidgets in the workplace

Able to work from home (ie, not forced to be in the office for the sake of being in the office)

Flexible hours

Adjustable lighting or allowed to wear sunglasses

Not forced to work in an open plan office

Have a designated quiet space to decompress in

Regular breaks

A company culture that accepts and encourages taking holiday/sick days

Bullying in the workplace should be taken seriously and not dismissed

No spontaneous meetings - have a schedule and stick to it

Less focus on the need for eye contact/handshakes in interviews

Less hoops to jump through when applying - why do I need to type my entire job experience into your form when it's all in the résumé I just uploaded? Why do I need several years of experience for an entry level job?

Don't put 'must work well in a fast paced environment' in your requirements. Work on making the environment less stressful and fast paced instead

Obviously not all of these will work for every person, and some might not be possible in some workplaces, but these are the kinds of things I would find helpful personally.

Fellow autistic people, feel free to add anything that would help you!

[bloodibambiidoll]

ok so hear me out. rafe and weird!girl get into an argument and rafe calls her weird or says something about her being normal for once and my girl gets all upset as she should.

Nonnie, are you in my walls? I’m very much having a day like this. This is heavily based on the day I had today and writing it made me feel sm better. Slight angst. Fluff. 1.8K words. NO MINORS!! (Note: weird!girl is autistic coded bc I am autistic)

You were extremely overwhelmed. It feels like every single thing is out to get you today. Before you and Rafe left to go on your first grocery shopping trip since you moved in together you got into a bit of a disagreement over the list. You are extremely picky. You have set safe foods that you like to stick to and you don’t like to stray from them. But Rafe on the other hand would eat almost anything. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that you wanted to live off of freezer waffles and chicken nuggets when he hired a professional chef for the two of you.

“Baby, why would I buy you the cheap freezer shit when I can have it made from scratch all fancy n shit?” It wasn’t about the price, you know that. It was just that Rafe wanted you to have the best of everything he could possibly give you and sometimes you just wanted the simpler things. Something that he’s still trying to understand.

“It’s just… I don’t want that. I want the ones from the store. That I always get. The ones I like.” Your lips were formed into a pout as you looked down at your lap and played with the rings on your fingers.

“Aight, Bats, if that’s what you want.” He shrugged and kissed your forehead before leaving you to finish getting ready. It was what you wanted. But you could tell it wasn’t what he wanted so you felt bad. You didn't want to be an inconvenience.

So after that you got in your head that you were too much for him. You spent the entire card ride to the grocery store thinking about how a normal girl wouldn’t want specific foods. A normal girl would be more than happy to have a personal chef make them anything and everything they wanted. A normal girl would be able to go to those fancy restaurants Rafe likes because she’d actually like anything on the menu. He tried to take you once and you spent the entire meal picking at your plate of chicken and veggies, so he never tried again settling to go places that had things you actually liked.

Then at the store you were so in your head that if you hadn’t made a list you probably wouldn’t have gotten a single thing you wanted. You couldn’t stop feeling like you were a burden to him because you needed him to buy you an entirely different grocery list from his own. You kept trying to put things back. Or tell him you didn’t need things that you did, in fact, need. You could tell Rafe was getting frustrated with you and it only made you want to shut down even more.

It didn’t help that the grocery store was easily one of your least favorite places. The lighting was awful. There were always so many people everywhere not looking where they’re going. The freezer section was always so cold that you spent that entire section of the shopping trip practically shaking. It was so goddamn loud. People talking. Kids crying. The squeaking of the old grocery cart wheels. So going there when you were already feeling overwhelmed was a recipe for disaster.

You fully lost it when you were checking out. The cart was extremely disorganized because you were too checked out to keep it in order the entire trip. The store you were at had it so you bagged your own groceries so the fact that the cart was a complete disaster made bagging them incredibly difficult. You were struggling to keep up with the cashier and also bag the groceries efficiently. He kept pushing the conveyor belt button, rolling the groceries that you haven’t bagged yet to pile up on top of each other at the end of it. The cart was full of bags and you weren’t even half done so you had to run and grab another one, only letting the pile grow further.

Rafe bought a case of beer and it the midst of you trying to frantically bag everything in a timely manner the cashier also asked you for your I.D. Which only frustrates you more. You don’t even drink beer. And it made you have to pause bagging again to dig in your purse. The cashier kept looking from the card to you and back again, like he thought it was fake.

“I know I look nothing like that, that was 7 years ago.” You didn’t mean to sound snippy, but you were pretty much at your limit.

“Baby, it’s fine, he’s just lookin’ for the date.” Rafe shot you a look and it only pissed you off more.

“Well he’s looking at it like it’s fake or some shit!” You scoffed as you slammed a full bag into the cart. Which only earned you another look from Rafe.

On the way home he hardly talked to you, instead he decided to blast trap music when you were clearly already overstimulated so you decided to put your headphones on and drown him out.

“Bats, the fuck is going on with you today, huh?” Rafe is towering over you the minute you enter the kitchen, backing you up against the counter.

“I just don’t like the grocery store. And you made me feel bad about the food. And everything was just so loud in there. And I felt like you hardly talked to me the entire time. I’ve felt like an inconvenience to you all day!” You snap at him as you stomp your foot in frustration, glaring up at him.

“All we did was go to the fuckin’ store. You’re seriously that worked up over it?” Rafe scoffs, running a hand through his hair.

“Yes! I am! The grocery store is extremely stressful for me and you’re not being considerate of that!!”

“That’s ridiculous, people go to the grocery store every day. It’s not a big deal. I don’t know why you can’t just be fuckin’ normal sometimes.” Rafe throws his hands up, letting them fall against his thighs with a smack. The minute the words leave his mouth your bottom lip starts to quiver as tears brim your eyes. And he knows he fucked up. Immediately he knows he fucked up.

“You know what? Why don’t you go find a normal girlfriend then!?” You push against his chest, running past him to your shared bedroom. You slam the door behind you, sliding down it as the tears in your eyes begin to spill down your cheeks. You knew it.

“Baby…” Rafe’s voice travels through the thick wood as he lightly taps on it. “ I’m sorry… that was- I shouldn’t have- Bats, can you open the door, please?”

“No. Go away.” You whimper as you curl further into yourself against the door.

“Baby girl, please? Just wanna talk. Lemme see you.” He turns the knob, pushing on the door lightly causing you to shift forward slightly. “C’mon, get away from the door, let me in.”

“Why don’t you go find a normal girl to talk to.” You snap at him before trying to push back against the wood but he’s so much stronger than you that it doesn’t even budge. Rafe shoves his foot into the crack of the door, pushing it until he can slip through. It slams shut behind him from your weight, causing you to yelp. He drops to his knees in front of you, taking your face in his hands. “Baby, look at me.”

“No.” You shake your head, subconsciously nuzzling into his touch. Your lips are quivering so bad your teeth are chattering as tears flow down your cheeks and Rafe kind of wants to kick his own ass.

“Listen I- I shouldn’t have said that, okay? I didn’t - fuck baby, I didn’t mean that shit. I was just frustrated. Doesn’t make it okay though, never wanna make my girl cry.” Rafe runs his thumbs down the apples of your cheeks, wiping away the salty tears that continue to fall. “I think I’ve gotten pretty damn good about knowing how you work. But with us living together now there's gonna be new shit that I’m gonna have to pick up on. I’m so sorry princess.”

“I just - I - just wanna be enough for you. Don’t wanna be a burden.” Your body tries to curl in on itself even more but Rafe doesn’t let it, he grips onto your hips and pulls you into his lap. He wraps his strong arms around you as he starts to rock you back and forth.

“Want you to listen to me baby, aight?” He takes your jaw in his hand, tilting your head towards his to get you to look at him. When you do it nearly cracks his heart. He hates that he made you feel like everyone else always has. “I never should’ve fucking said that shit. I didn’t mean it. Not even a little bit. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you, okay? I fuckin’ love you and all your weird little shit. Your weird little shit just makes me love you more. I’ve never known anyone like you. You’ve taught me so much. I guess I’ve just still got some shit to learn. But I’m trying, Bats. I’ll never stop trying.”

“You really mean it?” You sniffle as you look up at him through your teary eyes and Rafe has never felt more bad than he does at this moment. If he saw anybody else making you cry like this they would be so fucked and here he is, doing it.

“Of course I fuckin’ mean that shit, baby girl. I’m sorry for losing my patience with you today. I never, ever, wanna hurt you. Never wanna make you feel like all these other douchebags on the island do. Kind of want to run them all over, including myself right now.” Rafe lets out a dry chuckle when he sees the corner of your lips tilt up slightly. His large hand runs down the back of your head, smoothing down your hair as he continues to rock the both of you. “You know I love you more than anything, right?”

“It’s okay, Rafey. I know I can be too much sometimes. But I do know that you love me.” And you do. Especially right now. Rafe never opens up to you like this. And you kind of want to blow him right now.

“Hey, you aren’t too much, aight? Don’t ever let anyone make you feel that way. Including me, put my ass in check baby. God knows I need it.” He smiles down at you before leaning to place a gentle kiss on your lips. “Want me to put some nuggets in the air fryer for you and we can watch that movie you’ve been trying to get me to watch?”

“Mhm, that sounds perfect daddy.”

All things Rafe & his weird!girl here

[thehmn]

It might simply be that I don’t frequent ADHD forums enough but I haven’t seen a whole lot of talk about learned social withdrawal.

As a child I made friends left and right but as we all turned into self-conscious teenagers it slowly became more and more difficult for me. Plain and simple, other people thought I was weird. For some reason I never got bullied which I think is related to something my teachers kept telling my parents “She’s such a sweet, bright child and we can tell she’s not malicious or trying to be disruptive on purpose but we can’t teach her anything”

Basically people couldn’t figure me out. I had good social skills with both children and adults, I had a good moral compass, i felt compassion and empathy for others and was willing to go against my friends if I felt they were being bullies, I taught myself English and my drawings showed good observation skills. Because of all that it was decided I should start school a year sooner than most kids and my parents were very proud. Unfortunately that’s probably one of the main reasons why I was never diagnosed with raging ADHD as a child. People soon realized I didn’t do well in a school setting but assumed it was because I “wasn’t done playing” and my ADHD symptoms were interpreted as childishness.

So as I got older my classmates started to distance themselves from me. They were always kind and friendly but they didn’t know how to deal with me and ever since then people have always been worryingly comfortable with calling me weird to my face. I get the impression it’s because they think it’s a choice on my part. To them I’m clearly of “normal intelligence” so I must be acting like this on purpose and my parents would repeatedly tell me to “just act normal” as a child when I told them I was struggling to make friends. I tried so damn hard but kept failing. I knew something had to be different about me and when I first heard about ADHD I thought “That’s me! That’s how I feel!” but my parents said that was impossible because I wasn’t hyperactive.

Because nobody wanted to help me I eventually learned to just stop trying to make friends and keep to myself. I was so tired of being told by friendly, well-meaning people that I was so weird and quirky and unique only for them to distance themselves once they realized it was permanent and not something I could turn on and off for parties. I always enjoyed being alone so it wasn’t a huge loss but it did feel incredibly lonely at times.

Things got a lot better when I became an adult, mostly because adults are generally more chill than teens so my ADHD behavior isn’t as embarrassing to them and ironically they’re often surprised to learn I don’t make friends easily. Unfortunately I learned to be withdrawn in my formative years so new friends are still a rarity. Before I really sat down and put my past into context I even started to wonder if I had autism despite not connecting with anything autistic people said about their experiences. I went as far as to be tested but wasn’t surprised when the diagnosis was negative because of course it was, I kinda already knew that. I was just looking for an explanation.

So while there can be overlap between ADHD and autism (I have just such a friend) my experience is also that oftentimes people with ADHD simply learn to stay away from social situations and entertain ourselves which ends up looking like autism to outsiders.

[emilibro]

Ughhh I'm so sorry to be an ass but I see so much popular art on tumblr and around the internet that really woobifies both Laios and Kabru and their relationship, especially when they're together.... You guys are aware that Laios eats monsters the way people would like. Eat animals, right? He's not crazy or stupid or sadistic or anything. He has a special interest and it's monsters.

Furthermore, his past having himself and his sister be shunned for their interests in the abnormal made him develop a distaste for humanity. Laios has just thought monsters were way cooler since he was a kid, and Falin really looked up for him for his dedication to his interests and personal code of moral ethics. He never loved his sister less for her abilities, he admired her for what made her different. Because he's fucking awesome and they're autistic as hell.... they both went through so damn much. Laios never fit into the military, into his hometown, he barely fit into most groups of adventurers since he met Marcille, chilchuck, and company, and two of the members of that original party didn't care enough to join him. His feeling of worthlessness to his friends in the beginning of the story are enough to make him imagine a whole scenario in between major chapters where he was the one who was eaten.. and he thought nobody except Falin would care enough to save him.

Point being Laios has a much richer character that goes ALONGSIDE his special interest in monsters. Which honestly is more comparable to, like. A fucking biologist. Not a monsterfucker, not a cannibal, none of that shit. Monsterfuckers are cool as a monsterfucker but he's not one.. he's more like a furry man.... And he's not stupid he's just. Autistic. Why are we making autistic characters with a silly side seem stupid? Everyone has dumb moments sure but like.. he's really smart guys... there's a reason he's such a good leader outside of his ability to listen to his party members. Don't fall for the mischaracterization of Laios that his party members originally set for him before major important arcs guys...

And Kabru. Oh my God. Kabru. Kabru is also autistic but for humans, social interactions and culture... he's a nerd for politics and the humanities, and I'll avoid saying much more to avoid spoilers for non-manga readers but you'll see more of that as time passes. But he's not the type to be easily flustered. Laios only gets to him, not even because he's that difficult to read, but because he catches him off guard. He's an interesting critter, bro. And Kabru definitely sees that. It takes time to respect that, but within a period of time he learns to see him as a relatively competent adventurer and places a lot of faith from him. On some level, this guy has learned to understand this very interesting autistic guy who is forward with his feelings that a very autistic Kabru hasn't learned to understand. That's what makes their relationship so cool, man. He's not cold in reality (though people may perceive him that way due to backstory motivations and attitude within the dungeon), but he's a lot more serious than this... c'mon guys.. let's be a little real here please.... at this point I barely like Labru anymore because they've been so like. Babied. Woobified. Whatever the word is man. I'm starting to appreciate their friendship more as a friendship now because I just think the beautiful qualities I saw in their romance have been sort of overlooked or misinterpreted. Nowadays I just think their platonic relationship is beautiful. Sighs.

Farcille is awesome though and these girls are awesome slay

-

Edit: hey guys, I wanna address a couple of things here! For one, this isn't intended to be ship hate. Labru is a perfectly valid ship - rather, I'm just not a fan of how deep the mischaracterization of both characters runs, and how it results in the subsequent babying of their relationship. While it's driven me personally away from the romance a bit, I have no problem with the ship itself. Additionally, Farcille has its own issues with woobification that could use some addressing, I just haven't had to see as much mischaracterization on my feeds. Maybe in a future post I'll address some of my personal peeves with many people's characterization of Farcille, ESPECIALLY Falin.