#being an adult is insane
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#in a weird place mentally tbh and i went on a drive to clear my mind#and somehow ended up at my first apartment#it's been so long since i lived there but i was so proud of it#it feels like the last place i was truly independent#anyway i was sitting in my car staring at this shitty building#crying over orville peck#and then i saw a licence plate that said 'pklerick' and i cant stop laughing#being an adult is insane#it feels like i'm just trying to find any little bit of joy between all of the grieving#personal#oh and the fact that the rent for this apartment has literally doubled makes me sick#how are we supposed to live like this
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Now that I’ve actually quit my job it is suddenly dawning on me just how fucking insane it is to just. quit your job and move across the country.
#personal rambles#I’ve been planning this for a while I guess but somehow it’s still very last minute???#that’s just how things are for us tho#it’s exciting? but also now that it’s. happening it’s slowing occurring to me that hey this is. kinda unhinged#being an adult is insane#you can just be like ‘I’m gonna save some money and then quit my job and move 1#over 1000 miles with my wife’#and then. do that.#and no one stops you#cause it’s just. a thing you can do.#I did the opposite of burning bridges at my job tho so if things go south (or in this case southwest (badum tiss)) we’ll be able to come#back no problem#I fortified those bridges with iron forged steel man#the plant manager came by TWICE my last day to make sure I knew I was welcome back anytime immediately#got nominated for employee of the month#had my bosses begging me to take company sponsored/paid training for a promotion/six dollar raise#was training almost every new guy#I’d been there for not even theee months man.#good at my job speedrun#it gives me confidence for my next job tho
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sorry guys i am extremely busy :( i have my best friends bachelorette this weekend and then im getting a kitten after that so its hard for me to be around 😪. i will try to be here soon
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guys. spiraling because i'm realizing i'm not a grad student anymore. I am a professional
#Like when ppl ask me what i'm up to i cant say i'm in school anymore???#i say i'm a SPEECH LANGUAGE PATHOLOGIST ?? 🤡🤡#being an adult is insane
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she might've dyed it black but the pink is still showing💘
#AAAAAAAAAAAAA#that's my opinion on the trailer#you guys have no idea how actually insane i am#I. LOVE. VI.#I'M. FUCKING. SCARED.#i fucking love this design#i dont care what anyone says#rip to the time i black boxdyed my hair#the urge to do it all over again now is insane#me being an adult is dangerous cuz i WILL alter my appearance for a hyperfixation and nobody can stop me#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane fanart#vi#arcane vi#vi fanart#league of legends vi#arcane season 2 fanart#arcane s2#fanart#art#my art
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I think that the party's communication issues can be summed up as "man, is it awkward to tell someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with them if you've only know them for a few months? Probably."
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#listen they will kill for each other but also its such a short time???? like??? thats part of the tragedy tbh#like!!! yeah theyll go back to their previous lives bc who in their right minds throw out everything they were doing before for people youv#only known for a few months and it turns out all of them do bc theyre insane for each other but!!!! like!!!! thats still a big ask!!!!!#yeah lets throw out everything we've ever know to be together lets fucking go and then they do in the end!!!! but!!!#thats because theyre all are ride or die to the extreme for each other!!!!!! far more than siffrin thinks anyone will ever be for him!!!!#anyway I have a lot of feelings about the party and just how bonkers (affectionate) they are#yeah no siffrin I too would not expect people to put aside their previous lives especially if its clear they have other plans#'yeah im gonna invite myself over to your house to live here lol' yeah no I would not assume that!!!!!!!#the issue is more that issue doesnt communicate what he really wants because if they do and his family says no then... being together truly#will end so he doesnt ask so they never will get a no so it never has to end (and has his reason to keep going)#this is turning into an essay in the tags but like. God its a wild set of circumstances so#tbh Siffrin not thinking the party wants to travel together is not wild to me neither is family not communicating#them wanting to be together ALL OF THEM wanting it is... unbelivable in these circumstances#but they do bc theyre all insane and ride or die but the extent of which is a mystery to all of them#anyway thats my essay in the tags#just read the no loops fic where the adults minus siffrin all offer to bring bonnie to bambouche and had FEELINGS about it#my posts
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how I look trying to convey how insane it makes me that fugo spent his entire life being adultified for being very smart- first by his parents, then by that teacher, then by Bruno (hear me out), and possibly even by himself. No one treats him like he's another kid like Giorno or Narancia or Trish. I would argue even the fandom perception of him doesn't treat him like a kid.
Why is he responsible for Narancia? Why doesn't he get the same backlash from Bruno when he joins the gang? Isn't he younger than Narancia, and just like him has no business entering a gang? I would argue that because of his intelligence even Bruno always saw him as capable of keeping up with the adults, and therefore did not offer the same resistance to him joining the gang. Either that, or Bruno simply needed his intelligence and didn't care that he , too, was a child who should have been protected from becoming part of a freaking gang. Neither of these options paint Bruno in an appealing light.
I don't know. I have feelings on this that I can't properly articulate. It just bothers me that people gloss over how it seems the only person who saw Fugo as the kid he was was probably Abbacchio (based on what little we saw of their dynamic in PHF and VA). Idk. Raaagh
#stop treating Fugo like an adult challenge#hes not magically mature enough to handle everything you throw at him just because he can learn faster than others#and I would argue he is very immature.#likely because he never really got time to grow up mentally he just had to Be There the second it was demanded of him#wouldn't you be insane too if the entire world thinks you are more capable than you are#and Im not saying he isn't capable of doing everything that's demanded of him#I am saying#however#that that being the constant expectation of him is in no way good for any young person trying to always do the right thing#it makes me so unhappy#idk#jjba#vento aureo#pannacotta fugo#bruno bucciarati#leone abbacchio#< mentioned#fugoposting on main#I hope this makes sense#jjba part 5#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojos part 5
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*cracks knuckles* Okay lets talk about the elephant in the room: Style going to the support group for those who've suffered loss and telling what appears to be a fake story about losing his pet dog.
I'm going to point out a few things that I think provide a framework for Style's actions here. Not because I think it excuses what he did, but because I think a nuanced read is what the character deserves.
Point 1: An irresistible opportunity
The subs put the "Support Group for Loss" on the image in the notebook, but I'm not sure there's anything to suggest that Style would've known that was what this image represents until he showed up and saw the sign on top of the door.
In episode 2, Bison says, "He plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and then tells Kant:
So Style is literally just going to addresses/locations at given days and times, potentially not knowing what to expect. And as much as Fadel is certainly attending this meeting as a response to having that heartbreaking flashback (😭), this is also something he attends regularly and has planned to attend way in advance. So Style has no reason to think Fadel is attending this meeting because of a recent resurfacing of his pain.
What we, the audience, and what the characters know are very different things.
Now, should Style have turned his cute ass right around once he realised what this meeting was? Of course he should. But that wouldn't have been true to Style's character. We've been told by his best friend that he is "crazy" and been shown repeatedly that he lives right up to that description.
Style is impulsive. He's all base instinct and he acts on his desires without thought or contemplation. And by this point he is desperate for a deeper connection with Fadel. He's fascinated, captivated by the mystery that is Fadel and this is an excellent opportunity to finally see behind the wall Fadel so carefully maintains.
When Style sees the sign above the door, Style looks at the notebook (which, again, shows nothing but people sitting in a circle with the words RISE UP) like he's just realising what it means. He then gets this amused, almost rueful look on his face (like he's thinking "am I really going to do this?") before it shifts to determination and he walks through the door.
(My soul for the ability to once again gif something because FUCK Dunk is doing SO MUCH in this show!!)
To Style, this is just too good of an opportunity to give up.
Because let's be real, Fadel is so clearly lying and hiding something:
Fadel is shady as FUCK. He is simultaneously actually a really good cook (Style finally tries his burger so he knows, now), and also has the skills to work at a strip host club, and also can take on 3 guys in a fight, and also can break a man's arm with his thighs. Can you honestly blame Style for losing his mind just a little bit about wanting to get his hands on something, anything, to figure this man out?
Style is being absolutely consistent in his persistence to understand Fadel. This isn't about the car or about finally 'winning' the fight (thank you @airenyah for giving such a detailed framework to understand what Style's been doing until this point) anymore. This is about Style wanting to know Fadel himself.
Point 2: The potential implications of the setting
Now, what might give us a bit of insight as to why Style is this way? I have a theory (albeit one that could prove to be very wrong, but hear me out). I think this whole entire show is set in what could potentially be quite a small town/suburb.
There's a few things that make this theory plausible:
(1) Fadel and Bison are in hiding after Bison blew their previous cover. They're probably on the run from some section of the authorities and so it makes sense to settle in a quiet/out of the way place.
(2) Style seems to be really familiar with the people in the area. Like he grew up there and its the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone is in everyone else's business.
(3) Style is clearly the darling of the market aunties and uncles.
Style just lost her a sale and potentially a loyal customer, and she's still rooting for him? In episode 2, when Style asks the uncle to let him borrow his cart, it takes nothing but his word for the uncle to give Style his entire cart of produce for his ridiculous scheme.
Style is so clearly someone they all know well and have great affection for, and a very plausible explanation for this is that they all watched him grow up and the entire market (town/village) is fond of him.
And honestly?? Yeah, we see the way Style is actually quite sweet in that careless, guileless, thoughtless way. He goes the extra mile to fix his mistake with Fadel by replacing his car parts for free in episode 1. He helps out by taking orders in episode 2 without being asked and takes it seriously. In episode 3, he tries to drive more business to Fadel's store (bless him, he so clearly does NOT understand how restaurants work, but he MEANS well!!), and can we all acknowledge that it works?? He understands how to appeal to potential customers in the area because he knows the people there. It's not (entirely) his fault that Fadel wasn't remotely prepared for an actual rush crowd and Bison was off getting kinky with Kant and not doing his (fake) job. He is so clear about not judging Fadel's host job and tries his hardest to help him (to absolutely NO effect, but still) when the 3 guys gang up on Fadel.
Style is so loved and more importantly so very loveable.
Point 3: What this could mean for Style's character
So, potentially, Style is someone who grew up in a small town, who has been well loved, potentially spoiled and coddled, but also very much kept within the confines of the narrow viewpoint that a quiet, country town places on you.
It's in the way his dad scolds him as if he was still a child when he's at least in his mid to late 20s. It's in the way Style was so mad at Fadel for scolding him ("thanks for the lecture, dad"), like that hit a sore point for Style. It's in the way no one in the market takes him seriously; they're fond, but he's still a kid in their eyes. It's in the way he has an abundance of free time like he doesn't REALLY need to work at his dad's shop. It's in the way he sees Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease, starts wondering if Fadel is an assassin or a hitman, and is completely unfazed like he doesn't quite have a handle on reality.
It's in the way his best friend is a man who has no qualms about lying to him and putting his life in danger, and how Style seems to have no other friends or people (aside from his dad) in his life.
@wuxian-vs-wangji made a comment to me about Style being desperate for a meaningful connection, and I think she hit the nail on the head. Because along comes Fadel, a mysterious stranger with a suspiciously versatile set of skills who is also very hot and keeps giving Style these wonderfully complex reactions? Who sometimes wants nothing to do with Style, but at other times seems to be at war within himself about desperately wanting him? Who treats Style with anything but apathy?
This is catnip to Style; he never had any hope of resisting this.
Breaking news: Style is a complex and imperfect character...
Here's the thing, though: he was never going to try. The show has been incredibly upfront about who Style is as a person. Regardless of whether I'm correct about why he is this way (ie. that he is very much the product of the environment that didn't know how to handle a kid with Style's personality), episode 3 shouldn't have surprised anyone about Style. He's been incredibly consistent and true to himself.
He wants Fadel and he's "crazy" enough to go all in, no holds barred about it, and the Support Group was the biggest doorway to finally discovering something REAL about Fadel.
And its not just about sex or to prove his superiority anymore. Because if it was just that, then Style would have reacted very differently to their first time.
In this scene, Style is pleased and evidently enjoying himself, but he isn't exuberant. He isn't overcome with joy. If anything, he was more happy and excited when Fadel let him help out in the diner (I mentioned this in the tags in this post too) than he was when Fadel is literally fucking him. He lets Fadel set the pace; barely moves to touch Fadel except to hold him close. Almost like he doesn't want to accidentally mess this up, like he's worried he'll take too much, so he'll take what Fadel gives him and no more (please appreciate @braceletofteeth's amazing tags on this post). For a character that has been so aggressively on the offensive, this is shocking until you realise that sleeping with Fadel - while it's a step in the right direction - isn't Style's end goal anymore.
And he makes that abundantly clear in this episode:
Does Style even fully realise the weight of this desire? I doubt it. But I do believe that Style is in earnest. He doesn't fully understand his own feelings, but he also doesn't really care to either. All he knows is that he wants Fadel, wants his attention and his passion and his focus and his heart.
...but Style is also kind of, sort of, perfect.
Because he's exactly, precisely, breathtakingly exactly what Fadel needs.
Because Fadel is hurt and broken and bleeding inside. Because Fadel is barely holding it all together for Bison's sake, but has already given up hope for any true happiness for himself. Because Fadel can't trust anyone or anything in his life, when he's been used and used and used by the family who should've loved and cared and protected him.
Because it's going to take nothing short of this kind of unwavering, unshakable, uncomplicated determination to give Fadel even a chance of healing and opening his heart to love again.
#saw a post about style being one-dimensional and boring and I nearly had a breakdown because what are you TALKING about???#he's so perfectly messed up and terrible and unfiltered and WONDERFUL in all the wrong and right ways#and others have pointed out there's potentially even MORE to style's backstory because of the “coincidence” of Lilly meeting with#someone with the same name as the dog Style talks about in his story#listen the story telling in this show drives me inSANE in the best way and i'm baffled at some of the takes i'm seeing#can we at least... let his story play out maybe before dismissing or hating on Style?? its literally ONLY episode 3.#anyway yes its me your resident style apologist back to be unnecessarily emotional about style again#the heart killers the series#thk meta#the heart killers#style sattawat#fadelstyle#also FUCK ME dunk is just constantly serving every single episode and i've seen so many posts appreciating joong's acting (RIGHTLY SO!)#but not nearly enough love for the frankly INSANE performance dunk has been giving every single episode#i love him i love him I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY T_T#dunk natachai#ALSO (not that this means i can speak for everyone in a similar circumstance)#but as someone who lost my father to cancer as a teenager i DO understand and relate to the FURY Fadel must have felt in ep 3#and i DO think style was wrong to have treated the situation so lightly#but like literally WHAT in this show sets up any expectation for style to have the emotional maturity to do that?#and also this doesn't make him an inherently bad person ACTUALLY#it makes him an idiot and needing to be taught the right way to respond to people who are grieving. but guess what; he's NOT ALONE??#because let me tell you the amount of times i wanted to punch FULL GROWN ADULTS for giving me “well meaning” platitudes at my dad's funeral#...but the thing is they DID mean well. they just didn't realise how hurtful their words were#and life is filled with imperfect people who make mistakes and part of our journey is learning from them and trying our best to be kind#style meta#hui talks thai bl#hui talks thk
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Honey I Blew up the Kid (1992).
#being a child is just like that and being an adult is going through the five stages of grief#*I'M* gonna fix it????#etc#also I said I was back on my bullshit so#gifs#my gifs#rick moranis#honey I blew up the kid#I think these might be the only gifs of this movie here but this movie fucks way more than the first#the first? panic attack inducing#absolutely terrifying#I've said this before but oh my God#this one? amazing#two year old godzilla should step on everyone especially his dad actually#got anxiety again when the kids got shrunk at the end#other than that 10/10#also their mom is just as insane as their dad but I digress#userstream#userbbelcher#userthing#nessa007#tvfilmsource#tvfilmgifs#tvfilmedit#moviegifs#movieedit#filmedit#100
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i'm obsessed with the bad kids and the rat grinders as foils in unintentional ways, and it really shows the systems that failed the rat grinders.
kipperlilly and gorgug as kids who are consumed by a rage they cannot control, but where in freshman year gorgug was able to channel that rage in a productive way, kipperlilly is still struggling, having it used against her.
riz and mary ann who are a little odd, a little socially awkward, but both make it onto the blood rush team, but where riz is able to help out his team mates, supported by his friends in order to let him succeed, mary ann, despite playing a good game is considered a "freak" and where riz's party gets his little oddities, her party doesn't seem to.
like these teens are so similar but experienced life in such different ways, having such different supports or lack there of and that's why they are so interesting
#Fabian and buddy as kids coming to elmville for the first time and being heavily influenced by their adults behavior#adaine and oisin as nepo babies but adaine didn't reap the gains where he did#i'm insane about them#d20#fhjy#fantasy high#dimension 20#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#mary ann skuttle#kipperlilly copperkettle#the rat grinders#the bad kids
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Thinking of Gillion and Finn today…
#jrwi riptide#just roll with it riptide#gillion tidestrider#finn tidestrider#gillion jrwi#Finn jrwi#just roll with it#jrwi spoilers#just roll with it spoilers#riptide spoilers#jrwi riptide spoilers#the care they have for one another is so fucking palpable I’m insane I’m insane#and gill not being open about the fact that he wasn’t good in school#but seeming to have interest in academics in the past… but Finn leaving#Finn was probably the only adult who had the patience to help him UNDERSTAND and learn#no one else bothered to waste the champion’s time outside of the gods and combat#I’m insane#I have a lot of thoughts and no articulation#TV’s art
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i need a bw3 so bad just cause I need to know if iris is older or younger than drayton currently. right now. at this time
#if the same time has passed in game as it has irl it has been 14 years#if drayton is 17/18 (assumption) then he'dve been 3/4 during bw if it takes place the year it was released#iris wouldve been 10 putting a 7/8 year gap between them making her the big sibling and thats making me insane#iris could be a grown ass adult with a job rn and we wouldnt even know....#the vibe of iris being drays older sister is so drastically different than the other way around#'grown ass adult with a job' as opposed to what we already know her to be. small ass child with a job#kae.txt#they dont even have to make a game if they fr dont want to just give me a update in like a magazine or smth on where everybody at rn
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Would love to see some emotionally distraught Hiccup
I also love to see some emotionally distraught Hiccup. Let the man cry
#be so fucking for real#that man has actual issues#he was STRUGGLING in Rtte#imagine being a barely adult and leading a war against a criminal king pin#Hiccup please cry for the love of god you’re not okay#hiccup haddock#httyd#httyd hiccup#how to train your dragon#hiccup#httyd rtte#rtte#hiccup how to train your dragon#hiccup httyd#hiccup whump#race to the edge#I love drawing/writing him having a horrible time#he’s so easy to whump it’s insane
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so I’m kind of in the middle of an insane series of events where my boss (and by that I mean like my boss’ boss, the guy who’s like In Charge) knows I’m looking for a job because I’m graduating my Masters program and the position at where I work now is only a year contract maximum, so at every meeting we go to with outside people he keeps casually bringing up the fact that I’m graduating and need a job, but the current sequence of events means he keeps mentioning it in front of increasingly unbelievable company as we meet with more important people. like today I was there when we went to a huge, incredibly influential newsroom because their top reporters were interviewing HIM and at the top of the meeting he mentions ME. I’m like holy fuck my guy is my boss like acting as my career wingman here? hello??
#wow I guess I finally unlocked that networking skill tree LinkedIn keeps talking about#it’s actually very sweet of him to do this for me#because I did NOT ask and I don’t like being perceived#but yeah uhhh being an adult is kind of insane
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Lucky is he, Who lives unaware
#fantasy high#dimension 20#d20#fhjy#d20 fhjy#buddy dawn#the rat grinders#bakarath#oisin hakinvar#ivy embra#mary anne skuttle#ruben hopclap#potatart#i had to get these drawings out of my system. thinkng about how buddy was an outcast from the beginning#how he was left behind. how disposable he was#i think buddy is very isolated from the people around him from both himself the adults around him and the way he was raised#maybe he finds comfort in connecting with a deity#im gonna go insane. he has so much potential for good things if only he was actually given a chance#and not constantly being taken advantage of by people who dont care about him#rips my hair out#“arent you tired of being nice dont you want to just go apeshit” “dang y'all”#buddy dawn is going through it i think. just having a spectacularly AWFUL time#fhjy spoilers#NOBODY TALKS ABOUT HOW TIRING IT IS TO BE ANGRY ALL THE TIME. ITS AWFUL#hold on. i have a drawing of kalina and buddy dawn in a car running from the cops but thay didnt fit the tone of this post lol#they have walter white and jessi pinkman vibes to me. you get it#also id like to comment that the last image was meant to convey less of a#“the rat grinders didnt care about buddy dawn!!!” (though i think thats true to some extent)#and more of like. the idea that those four were saved and buddy was not#<- i like the rat grinders
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can't believe a show based on a videogame (usually games adaptations are notoriously bad, which isn't the case here tho) gave me the beauty and the beast/twisted mirrors/enemies to traveling companions/ruthless antihero+optmistic but still badass heroine who takes none of his shit/age gap but make it sexy dynamic of my dreams. as much as i love maximus and i think he deserves the best writing ever because 1. he's a clever deconstruction of the aspiring Knight bro who's actually a bit of a loser and, as much as lucy, sees the world in black&white at first and then doesn't get what he thought he wanted but what he needs (or at least i hope he'll eventually get it), and 2. he's a cutie and i want an epic love story for him too, it's very funny how they tried to give us a puppy kind of romance and the tumblr girlies still fixated on the "toxic ~she bites his finger off and he cuts hers off and sews it on his hand in what we'll pretend it's a symbolic marriage rings exchange or whatever~ asshole who used to be a nice guy/good girl™ with a lot of spunk and hidden anger but unshakeable morals" kind of relationship.
#mind you idt the writers will ever have the guts to go for this pair or anything and i'm perfectly okay with the maximus/lucy romance#but still. they tried to give us the wholesome love story between two cuties with a killer side#and the fandom went ~mmmh we kinda want for that girl and the noseless radioactive ghoul to fuck nasty actually#shhdhdhf i'm sorry but this was so predictable to me. conosco i miei polli#also. i don't fully understand those who see it as a father/daughter thing? just because it worked on tlos#doesn't mean we need the same kind of dynamic here#1. despite him being an actual father (or at least. he was 200+ years ago) i've never seen a less paternal character than the ghoul lmao#2. lucy is an adult woman. young but in her mid twenties i guess? cooper had (and maybe still has) a daughter but the kid was like. 6 or 7?#lucy doesn't need a daddy she's a grown up. stop infantilizing women all the freaking time#let them be fully equals!! let them be bickering road trip companions/a killer squad/tentative allies who eventually form a real bond#i SWEAR if the writers go full parent/child bs with them in s2 because they're more popular#(at least on ao3. i don't expect the same level of insanity from the general audience)#than the canon ship i'll riot. idt they will but still#..... maybe they should go for a hot max/lucy/coop polycule instead. that would be interesting lmao#vaultghoul#fallout#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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