#crying over orville peck

[bewilderedbunny]

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[shieldofiron]

Vibe Check Part 7

True Bromance

The Frat Boy Au

Read Previous on Ao3 or tumblr.

Carver is the type to get flushed when he drinks too much. He’s as pink cheeked as a choir boy as he dismounts from the mechanical bull with a little bow.

Billy’s showing is just shameful, and he can admit defeat easily in the face of such talent. He whoops and cheers along with Carver’s crowd of admirers, reaching out for the Theta handshake when Carver makes his way over.

“Shit, you weren’t kidding,” Billy slurs, throwing an arm over Carver’s shoulders when they finish shaking. “Your not-boyfriend’s a lucky guy.”

Carver snorts, “Don’t I know it.”

It takes a little work to get through the appreciative throng and back towards the bar. The whole place smells like spilled beer and sawdust and Billy’s feeling good. Better than good. And yeah, part of that is that he feels the alcohol, his arm heavy and his feet slow.

“How are we gonna get back to the house?” Carver asks when Billy stumbles and sags against him.

“I can call someone.”

“Who? Harrington?”

Billy must be making a face because Carver snaps his mouth shut, depositing Billy onto a barstool with a grunt.

“As if he would. He’s too busy with his new,” Billy hiccups, “girlfriend.”

“I’m not sure she’s his girlfriend,” Carver says.

Billy’s brain is working slower than normal and what Carver says just… doesn’t compute.

“Please. If she isn't yet, she will be. Stevie’s so… smart and kind and… bitchy,” Billy covers his face, “fuck. I’m sorry. I just never get to talk about this. It probably doesn't make any sense.”

Carver pats him awkwardly on the arm.

He’s not crying yet, but he feels like he could be. The more time he knows Steve the harder it gets when Steve gets girlfriends. And it’s completely unfair of Billy to hold onto it.

“Sometimes I just want to yell at him. Like a fuckin’... Riverdale character.” Billy mumbles.

Unfortunately for him, the Cottonmouth is the kind of bar where they play soulful Orville Peck and not pounding club classics and so Carver actually hears him.

Carver sits up, “Which character?”

Billy peeks between his fingers, “Cheryl Blossom.”

Carver whistles, “That’s bad.” He pauses for a moment, glancing at the bar. “What would you say?”

“I’d say… Do you really not know?” Billy says after a pause of his own. “Or is this all just some kind of game for you. Do you not know what you do to me? Or do you?”

Carver toys idly with the bowl of nasty peanuts on the bar in front of them. “My… boyfriend. Who isn’t a boyfriend… he’s in the closet.”

Billy shrugs, “And you aren’t?”

“I mean… not really. I’m part of the LGBTQIA plus club. Argyle wants me to speak at this greek inclusivity event, which like feels… I’m just a white gay. But, whatever,” Carver says.

“Shit. Where have I been?”

“With your head up Harrington’s ass,” Carver smirks.

Billy scowls at him, and Carver scowls right back, an expression that looks oddly adorable with his pink cheeks.

“Anyway. My not boyfriend used to be um, bullied in high school. Theta is the first place he’s been accepted.” Carver flicks the edge of the peanut cup with a forlorn little sigh. “So I can’t even be Cheryl Blossom about it. I have to be Betty fucking Cooper.”

“Ugh.”

“I know.”

“But you’re out. He could still be accepted and gay,” Billy frowns.

“That’s my advice to you,” Carver scrunches his nose up.

“Can I get you anything,” The bartender breaks Billy’s concentration.

“Tequila!” Billy cries.

“Don’t listen to him. We’ll close my tab, under Carver, C-A-R-V,” Carver smacks Billy’s hand away from where he’s unsuccessfully trying to cover Jason’s mouth. “Actually if you have bottled water we’ll take two.”

The bartender seems all too happy to leave them and fetch it.

Billy pouts a little, “No tequila.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a huge bummer, I know.”

“Is that why your boyfri- wait. He’s in Theta?” Billy gasps audibly. Like this really is an episode of Riverdale.

Carver shakes his head, “N-no, he’s just in a frat.”

“No, you said Theta. Oh my God! You should just both be out! It would be less weird if I wasn’t the only gay guy in the frat.”

“He won’t,” Carver hisses.

“And then we can all go out and-”

“We can’t,” Carver says desperately.

“Why not?” Billy whines.

“Because I’m the bully!” Carver yells.

Billy blinks at him. The bartender blinks at him. The mustachioed bear with a hat that says Pride & Poppers blinks at him.

“I used to call him all sorts of sh-sh-stuff when I hated myself. And now he just wants to be free of that and me and I don’t really blame him.”

“But you’re all still together?” Billy frowns.

“Yeah.”

“When did that start?”

Carver sucks in a breath, “Last year.”

“That sucks, man.”

Carver just shakes his head an infinitesimal amount, looking down at his lap.

“So you all just hook up but he doesn’t… he…”

“Hates me. Yeah.” Carver says with finality.

“That’s pretty messed up. I’m sorry.”

Carver looks down and then up, sniffling a little. “Who do we call to go home?”

Billy wants to say something but he doesn’t even know what. Move on? As if Billy wasn’t the king of hanging onto unrequited love way past the point of what’s healthy. He hadn’t even danced with a twink tonight, too upset to deal with it.

“Carver, I didn’t mean that was messed up like… like you’re messed up. Have you apologized to him?”

“Like… all the time.”

“You deserve to be happy. You both do. This sounds… bad. Toxic and shit.”

Carver laughs, a dry, angry little huff. “When are we gonna get into your big bad secret, Cheryl?”

“I’m an open book, Betty,” Billy throws his hands out, nearly falling off the stool, clinging to the bar to regain his balance.

“Why aren’t you out to Theta?” Carver nods to the bartender as he brings back the water and Carver’s card. Billy’s not so drunk that he doesn’t notice the scribbled number and ‘Text me’ at the bottom.

“That reason goes by the name of one Steven Alessandro Harrington,” Billy sighs. “And my dad, a little bit.”

“Not accepting?” Carver raises a brow.

“Try abusive as fuck,” Billy shakes his head. “He’s still like… in my head. I want to come out but… then I met Steve. And I don’t want Steve to get weird. I think it might actually break me.”

“You think he’d be weird about it? Really?”

Billy boops Carver on his tiny little nose, “I don’t want to find out.”

“We really are two peas in a pod, huh?” Carver shakes his head, tapping his water bottle against the one Billy’s limply holding.

“Why don’t we call your not boyfriend for a ride. I’d love to tell him that hate sex with you for a year is fucked up and he’s an asshole.” Billy grins.

“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I’m unfortunately in love with him. So please don’t. I’m working on it.” Carver slouches. “Lets go home.”

Billy yanks his phone out, even though it takes a few tries, “Fine. Have it your way. I’ll call us a ride.”

Luckily the number is saved in his favorites as ‘Daddy.’

Billy dials, grinning when it doesn’t even get to two rings.

“Where’d you get off to, dickhole.”

“Eden,” He slurs. “We need you.”

[vampirewillows]

was tagged by the ever lovely @zhalar to share 9 albums i've been listening to, thank you for the opportunity <3 i've included my self-indulgent commentary on each, and i tried to mostly pick ones that i've specifically been listening to recently! (ps. thank you for songs you shared in the previous tag game we had, several ended up on my playlists)

lazily tagging anyone who sees this and wants to do it! just say i tagged you. i love hearing ppl talk about music

my album commentary under the read more cut bcs i ended up elaborating a lot

i. chappel roan, "the rise and fall of a midwest princess" — ALBUM of the YEAR. to me. i know it came out last year but still. no skips, love her and this album so so dearly. i need it on vinyl stat. inject that shit into my veins etc. current faves: guilty pleasure and super graphic ultra modern girl, but i did also recently listen to california for like a week non-stop

ii. ethel cain, "preacher's daughter" — again i'm LATE to this one, but as far as concept albums go, this is. the peak. like just. screaming crying throwing up, even. i made a powerpoint presentation abt this just so i could share its story with a friend. INSANITY. faves: american teenager, ptolemaea, sun bleached flies (i forgive it all as it comes back to me............. kill me)

iii. taylor swift, "tortured poets department" — i went to the eras tour earlier this month. speechless! wow. i still haven't recovered OR finished listening to all of anthology but i sure have been blasting who's afraid of little old me and but daddy i love him

iv. metteson, "look to a star" — actual album of the year for me. saw him live this spring and he was so so sweet (was manning his own merch booth afterwards and complimented my make up <3 also signed my vinyl) ANYWAY insane voice? like simply unbelievably beautiful. and this is just the debut album??? future records might simply eviscerate me i'm afraid. faves are second heart (!!!), naturally (but nothing comes natural to me / nothing comes naturally...... augh) and heavier than a heart

v. pet shop boys, "nonetheless" — breaking news my favourite old gay men are still releasing bops and bangers and heartbreaking melodies. this released close-ish to my birthday so i've claimed it as a birthday present. what more can i say, they're my favourite band of all time <3 faves rn: new london boy (skinheads will mock you, call you a fag / last laugh is yours, there's a brick in your bag!!) and bullet for narcissus

vi. orville peck, "stampede: vol. 1" — i adore this cowboy beyond measure. as i think i said in a different post, i don't usually care for features and duets, but this does indeed fucking slap. insane vocals as per usual. love the concept. can't wait for vol 2, and also, mr. peck PLEASE come to europe. faves: miénteme and cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other <3

vii. sea power, "disco elysium" — this is FINALLY on spotify!!! the game of all time, and the soundtrack is equally heartbreaking and hardcore (to the mega). i was going Through It at some point this spring and replayed DE and then just listened to burn baby burn outside whilst smoking. european depression core. faves rn: burn baby burn, saint-brune 1147 (small pinewood church) and precinct 41 major crime unit

viii. jan valta + adam sporka, "kingdom come: deliverance (OST)" — finally bought this recently when it was on sale and my god i'm so glad i did. an immensely entertaining game that you can tell was made with much love. henry of skalitz my SON. been listening to the soundtrack on/off, currently absolutely obsessed with the song poverty and famine (and särmä if you're reading i think you might vibe with this one?)

ix. alkemie, "pentiment (original soundtrack)" — rounding up with another video game soundtrack because i'll simply never get over pentiment. stole my heart in a major way. this soundtrack is STUNNING. can't do it justice with words. my faves rn: sic arsit historia kiersis and rüdeger's rehearsal

[twobluecows]

Hurry over and cry, Lafayette

another destiel fanart with lyrics to a song by Orville Peck (because every song in Bronco is actually Dean)

song is Lafayette By Orville Peck

[tombstuck-writes]

One to Five Tag

Thanks for tagging me @somethingclevermahogony!

I'm using Knucklehead as my wip for this one.

One word to describe your WIP Lovesick

Two lines that are your favorite 1. “Dude, even my mom don’t worry this much about me,” he chuckled, and the motion made him wince in pain. “They called her and apparently she said, ‘good, let him die’.”

2. They sat in silence for a bit, and Theo realized their hands were next to each other on the ground. He thought of how easy it would be to move his hand over a few inches, and cover rodney’s hand with his own. Instead he moved his pinky finger over so that it was touching rodney’s pinky finger. Rodney’s eyes widened again and he looked down at their hands. He pulled his hand away awkwardly and got up. Theo felt a squeeze of disappointment in his chest.

Three songs from your WIP playlist

Mother Mother - Dirty Town Radiohead - Creep Orville Peck - C'mon Baby, Cry Four feelings from your characters

Pain Love Sadness Hope

Five tropes featured

Miscommunication

Friends to Lovers

Forbidden Love

Online friend was actually my neighbor the whole time

Mutual Pining

I'm not sure who to tag, so anyone who sees this and wants to play can say I tagged them! Be sure to tag me in your post so I can see your lovely work.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Let Me Drown (Orville Peck)

Never knew where was home I slept a lifetime alone/Yeah, we had it one time but it's gone now, it's gone/Let me drown/I know with pleasure comes pain/I figured we were the same/But as I get older I get more afraid

"It is the best song for a good cry, when I'm down I listen to this on repeat. It so hard to stop listening to, you don't want any other song you want this again. The emotions are so strong you get swept away in it. I first heard this song on a video edit of Edward Teach (ofmd) after Stede leaves him. When he is turning back to his old ways and rejecting all the good in him that Stede brought out. He is throwing away his own growth and returning to the safety of a hard violent facade. It fits this song so well."

Family Line (Conan Gray)

Scattered 'cross my family line/I'm so good at telling lies/That came from my mother's side/Told a million to survive/Scattered 'cross my family line God, I have my father's eyes/But my sister's when I cry

"Familial trauma go BRRR. Nah cause my family fr be kinda like that and wow that is one way to make me face it and cry instead of my humour coping mechanism among some other unhealthy ones. I also project it onto the blorbos I kin and it makes me cry all over again 🥲 (it's also just a very good song that haunts you)"

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

Theon survey songs + links:

@feed-me-a-penny and @team-mom-wannabe In case you still want to see the songs that have been submitted until now.

I found an acoustic version of the song Worms by Lolly Jane Blue on a Theon fan mix once and then lyrics really latched onto my Throne synapses! Very ADWD chapters, I think

The Lighthouse by Halsey; What the Water Gave Me by Florence; Piledriver Waltz by Arctic Monkeys; Ship to Wreck by Florence; Stone by Jaymes Young; Let Me Drown by Orville Peck; Atlantis by Seafret; Wade in the Water by Eva Cassidy; I Don't Want to Talk About Me by Stereo Jane; Sail Away Sweet Sister by Queen; and honestly every song on Everything Ends by Materia.

SOOO many. Ooohhh boy, I hope you like long answers, because you are going to hate me if you don't (you probably already do, I cannot shut up if I'm under the guise of anonymity lol). In terms of poetry, I will forever love this quote by Jenny Holzer: "In a dream you saw a way to survive and you were full of joy". It's so Theon, and I actually have it tattooed on me lol. Social Skills training is also a great poem for Theon ([PRIVATE INFORMATION]... hits so hard for so many reasons when paralleling w Theon), here are some raw verses: "Gloria Steinem says women lose power as they age and yet the loudest voice in my head is my mother. Studies show that the mother we have in mind isn't the mother that exists. Mine says: what the fuck are you crying for? / Studies show the baby monkey will pick the fake monkey with fake fur over the furless wire monkey with milk, without contest. Studies show to negate something is to think it anyway. I'm not sad. I'm not sad. / History is a kind of study. History says we forgave the executioner. Before we mopped the blood, we asked: Lord Judge, have I executed well? Studies suggest yes. What the fuck are you crying for, officer? The wire mother teaches me to say, while studies suggest, Solmaz, have you thanked your executioner today?" Just literally everything about that poem hits me right in the Theon feels. Like, are you kidding me? Then The House That Dripped Blood by Mountain Goats is great for imagining Theon circa his Prince in Winterfell era. The lyrics are all about a house haunted by the pain trapped in there, which seems perfect for Winterfell imo. Any Florence + The Machine, but Heavy In Your Arms for painful throbb feels. Would by Alice in Chains has the right mood and great lyricism for Theon/Reek angst too! Then Everyone's Victim by Lisa Germano just has the right mood I feel for thramsay stuff, same vein as Would by Alice in Chains.

pearl diver by mitski, he doesn’t know why by the fleet foxes, cocaine and abel by amigo the devil

So many, a bunch of guns n roses songs, and dead hearts by stars

Dio Ed Io by Charles Wright, there are more but I'm all burnt out typing AHHH!!!

Cry for Judas the mountain goats "long black night/morning frost/I'm still here/ but all is lost" There is a light that never goes out The smiths. Robb and Theon vibes "to die by your side/ is such a heavenly way to die"

“archers never made good kings, fly headfirst into everything” -archers, the ballroom thieves

Almost Human (Aurelio Voltaire) for the Lucifer association

Putting the dog to sleep by the antlers!

call them brothers - regina spektor (that’s it, it’s split, it won’t recover just frame the halves and call them brothers find your fathers and your mothers if you remember who they are over and over they call us their friends can’t we find something else to pretend? like nobody won and we’re safe at the end) that’s okay - the hush sound (you were a child who was made of glass you carried a black heart passed down from your dad if somebody loved you they’d tell you by now we all turn away when you’re down you want to go back to where you felt safe to hear your brother’s laughter, see your mother’s face your childhood home is just powder-white bones and you’ll never find your way back) house of wolves - my chemical romance (well, i think i’m gonna burn in hell everybody burn the house right down and say what i want to say tell me i’m an angel / take this to my grave tell me i’m a bad man / kick me like a stray) mama - my chemical romance (well mother, what the war did to my legs and to my tongue you should have raised a baby girl i should have been a better son if you can coddle the infection they can amputate at once i should have been - i should have been a better son) JUDAS - the reverent marigold (god knew his face and held it but it still didn’t save him and i see far horizons where the lambs lie with the lions but there are poppies growing over where my friends are lying and paul had an old name, but we never use it you may call me traitor but my lover calls me judas)

i have a playlist, some accidentally theon lyrics i enjoyed is bad medicine by liz green (...) For every man wants more than he, ever did before He’s still got no way out We’ve got no way out No way out We’ve got no way out of this So if my eyes turn black and my teeth fall out and my hairs caught up in rags Don’t give me none of that medicine ‘cos I’ll spit it right back out He tried so hard to fit in but he never really got a chance Before he spoke they burnt him, cut him, roped him and finally put him in the ground He said ‘I’ve been though war, and I’ve been though law and I’ve climbed that hill so cold Yeah I’ve been though more than you’ll ever know still they never let me go And every man wants more than he, ever did before He’s still got no way out We’ve got no way out No way out We’ve got no way out of this So if my eyes turn black and my teeth fall out and my hairs caught up in rags Don’t give me none of that medicine ‘cos I’ll spit it right back out Oh yeah, I’ll spit it right Yeah I’ll spit it right Oh I’ll spit it right back out I will spit it right I will spit it right I will spit it right back out

I love Mr. Tambourine Man for Theon. Especially this line: “Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind, Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves, The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach, Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow. Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves, Let me forget about today until tomorrow.” I also love Hurt by Nine Inch nails- All the lyrics and the entire soundscape of that song is Theon to me. Absolutely intense and amazing. And I also love and associate A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall with Theon. The "seven sad forests" the "dozen dead oceans" the "newborn baby with wolves all around it." But all the imagery in that song is so cool and very appropriate for asoiaf in general .

Oh man, so so many but to name a few: 1. How Soon is Now by the Smiths ("I am the son and heir of nothing in particular" / I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else does") 2. Sorrowing Man by City and Colour ("Sorrowing man, look how worn you've become. You once were lord of the barren sea. There's blood on your hands." / "Oh, how you have lost your way." 3. Crystal Ball by Keane ("I lost my heart, I buried it too deep, under the iron sea." / "I'm fading out, everything I know is wrong, So put me where I belong.") 4. Bravado by Lorde ("I learned not to want The quiet of the room with no one around to find me out. I want the applause the approval." 5. Hurt by Johnny Cash ("And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt" / What have I become? My sweetest friend. Everyone I know goes away in the end."

iron by woodkid seven nation army (in a way) bones in the ocean under the water by the pretty reckless

"Oh No" by Marina & the Diamonds; "Bones" by Ms Mr; "The Ocean" by Dar Williams

i'm a marionette by ABBA starring role by marina and the diamonds asleep by the smiths i still have faith in you by ABBA judas by lady gaga california dreamin' by the mamas & the papas al andar by ABBA crucified by army of lovers i'm not coming home by the cowmen no more from into the woods oh i know by only natural waiting around to die by the be good tanyas

Smoke filled room - daughter

Gilded Lily : I remember when you told me it’s an every decision (Theon’s oath to Robb) But with my double vision, how was I supposed to see the way ? (Double vision : Greyjoy/Stark) Haven’t I given enough? Always the fool with the slowest heart (softie boi ) I know you’ll take me with you ( could refer to Robb or Ramsay as they die that they take a piece or the whole of him with) Every city’s got a graveyard (kinda makes me think of his prince of Winterfell era) Now I’m sleeping in the backyard (Well, his Reek moment ofc)

a spanish song by my fave band ever Fito y fitipaldis - Antes de que cuente diez (Before I count to ten) some verses i really like from it are: I got lost in a cross of words. They missed wrote down the address. I already engraved my name on a bullet. I've already tried the cannon fodder I already have everything under control. And someone said no, no, no, no, no That now the wind is coming from the other side Leave me the rudder And someone said no, no, no. What will take me to the end? It will be my steps, not the way. You don't see that you always go behind. When you pursue destiny And I won't feel strange again. Even if you don't get to know me And I won't love you so much again. And I won't stop loving you again I stopped flying, I sank into the mud. And between so much mud I found myself. Some warmth without your hugs Now I know that I will never come back.

I dont know many poems but sinnerman by nina simon and sorry by karine polwart and some other songs in my own language :)

honestly.. robb and theon are kinda two ghosts by harry styles if you squint

All of Radiohead tbh

Pardon this next block of text where I name random music. I have to say something about the album The Downward Spiral by NIN being huge Theon material to me (the instrumental track named after the album is so TWOW Stannis execution presumably foiled by old gods activity. also Hurt but everyone's saying that. ummm THE BECOMING.). Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain. 1906 by the West Coast Art Pop Experimental Band is so Bolton Occupation of Winterfell. Avalanche by Kyle John Kenowski. Sister Europe by The Psychedelic Furs feels TWOW Asha and Theon returning to the islands or something. Sweat by Oingo Boingo. All We Ever Wanted Was Everything by Bauhaus young Theon in Winterfell. King Rat by Modest Mouse feels either Jeyne and Theon escaping Winterfell or Theon and the invasion of Winterfell. I think I'm saying too much but I hate having things out of context, but I can't just parrot an entire playlist here: these are all ruthlessly selected from my playlist on spotify called [PRIVATE INFORMATION] (Epitaph by King Crimson inspired me to make the playlist) that has these plus more but fair warning it's under construction for my reread I've been doing this summer :^) . Um. A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers by Van Der Graaf Generator but it's 23 minutes long and all over the timeline sorrrrry I like prog rock so much. On Kyra thoughts: Please listen to To The Dogs or Whoever by Josh Ritter for Kyra and the keys thoughts.

Remy Zero - Prophecy: You walk this world like you’re a ghost / Your hands are coming through the needles / Sick of your tragic and your evils / I am the keeper of the songs of everyone / [...] / This is a coming of the times / You are a witness to the movement / If all you’re seeing is your lies / You had your chance, but now you’ve blown it / You want this world so you can own it / I am the keeper of the songs of everyone / / Look into the sun and see your soul is dying / Used to feel the faith, but now you’re tired of trying / Should have left alone what you have stolen from everyone / Mmm, how ya feelin’? Seems a little sick to me now / / From the light on high / A chance to change your fate / Forgiveness falling down / On those who chose to wait / Remember the time / Find yourself home again / Deep within your life / Find yourself home again / Find yourself home again / It’s a choice / You have chosen your own T.S. Eliot - The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock: And I have known the eyes already, known them all— / The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase, / And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin, / When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, / Then how should I begin / To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? / And how should I presume? / [...] I should have been a pair of ragged claws / Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. [...] I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach. / I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. / I do not think that they will sing to me. / I have seen them riding seaward on the waves / Combing the white hair of the waves blown back / When the wind blows the water white and black. / We have lingered in the chambers of the sea / By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown / Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Century Eyes by Shearwater (You are not the last of this house / Nor the first to go over the side / Remember the wrecks of those elegant ships / “Turn it off! Turn it off!” / Look with century eyes till they make you go blind) Two Evils by Bastille (I’m the lesser of two evils / Or am I, am I tricking myself nice? / If I’m a lesser of two evils / Who’s this man, who’s this act I hide behind?) Hurt Feelings by Flight of the Conchords (It’s my birthday, 2003 / Waitin’ for a call from my family / They forgot about me / I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings)

The Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars

Lots ([PRIVATE INFORMATION I'M NOT GONNA DO MY COUNTRY DIRTY LIKE THIS] but a very tragicomical and delusional version), but I'm going to list purely English stuff for the sake of it: "Crucify your mind" by Rodriguez is my go to Theon song and I know no one knows or cares about Rodriguez and this might as well be one of those situations where this only works in my head, but fuck it: Was it a huntsman or a player That made you pay the cost That now assumes relaxed positions And prostitutes your loss? Were you tortured by your own thirst In those pleasures that you seek That made you Tom the curious That makes you James the weak? And you claim you got something going Something you call unique But I've seen your self-pity showing As the tears rolled down your cheeks […] So con-convince your mirror As you've always done before Giving substance to shadows Giving substance ever more And you assume you got something to offer Secrets shiny and new But how much of you is repetition That you didn't whisper to him too? "All these things that I've done" by The Killers has some vibes and lyrics too but god do I feel like an idiot for saying that.

[likehephaestionwhodied]

ways i was emotionally destroyed on my drive west across the country

seeing a sign for a Casey's was akin to the Wiseman seeing the star which showed them the way to Jesus.

having to tell my friend to stop talking while I ate a chees curd from Culver's

crying bc "Stephen A Douglas was a great debater, but Abraham Lincoln was the great Emancipator" as I pulled into my hotel in Decatur

American Football's first album while I drove past Illinois corn fields caused me to pull over so I could sob

having to stop before crossed over the Mississippi bc I wasn't sure I'd be able to make myself come back

Orville peck singing " 'come home' the hexi mountains said/ to begin another end/ it don't feel right to see you friend" WHILE I CROSSED THE MISSOURI also made me sob, and I had to pull over. forever chasing "home" never feeling right to come back

another "pull over to cry" moment when the GPS told me "Welcome to wyoming" I could not begin to explain the mixed feelings I have for that state

my entier "Home Sick for wyoming" playlist playing as I drive a road I'm sure I could drive with my eyes closed

gods I, miss the west/midwest

[setmeatopthepyre]

Hurry over and cry, Lafayette I knew that I'd lose you the moment we met But the bayou still sings every night in my head Though I can't understand what it wants I love when it rains but I hate getting wet Never thought it'd be me that you'd haunt

The months march away, Lafayette I hear it takes years for the heart to reset Yeah, but one of these days, I'll be done with regret Didn't think it would take me this long Still sing Delta Dawn when I catch a sunset I remember how you loved that song

Last born son, yeah, loaded gun You know I recall somebody sayin', "There ain't no cowboys left" But they ain't met me And they ain't met you, Lafayette

[dollwithkaleidoscopeeyes]

I was tagged by the magnanimous @im-immortal to share the first ten songs in my “on repeat” Spotify list…. don’t make fun of me too badly 🥺😂

1. drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo

2. Daytona Sand by Orville Peck

3. Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift

4. Kill Bill by SZA

5. No Return (main title song for Yellowjackets)

6. C’mon Baby, Cry by Orville Peck

7. God is Alive Magic is Afoot by Buffy Sainte-Marie

8. King by Florence and the Machine

9. Dreams by The Cranberries

10. Chemtrails Over The Country Club by Lana

Tagging the crew @talkingfruitbat @ravingvisionary @moonlitmoth @texaschainsawmascara @igotwormsinmyspaghetti @peoplevsbirds @ghost-sound @ghoulgirl @betterthanakickintheface and anyone else who wants to join 😘

[probablyjustamagpie]

it’s crying over Orville Peck hours again

[rayofsunshinc]

✨ My morning started with crying over Orville Peck singing Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other with Willie Nelson. How is everyone else?

[little-sweet-tooth]

My Morute Playlist

🎀🖤For all creepy cuties!🖤🎀

Tongues & Teeth by The Crane Wives

Michelle by Sir Chloe

Drown Me! By Junie and TheHutFriends

Novels About Vampires by Candi Carpenter

A Burning Hill by Mitski

Anti-Curse by boygenius Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus

Not Strong Enough by boygenius Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus

Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain

Pink in the Night by Mitski

Sweet Disposition by The Temper Trap

Dead but Pretty by IC3PEAK (and pretty much every IC3PEAK song)

Dead Radio by Angelic Milk

Porcelain Mannequin by Margaritas Podridas

All-American Bitch by Olivia Rodrigo

Washing Machine by Mitski

Satanic Slumber Party by Elita

Soap by Melanie Martinez

Tag, You’re It by Melanie Martinez

Pity Party by Melanie Martinez

Stalkers Tango by Autoheart

Prom Queen by Beach Bunny

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star

Andromeda by Weyes Blood

Nothings Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex

Creep (glee cast ver.)

Touch A Touch A Touch A Touch Me ( also glee cast ver.)

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths

Possibility by Lykke Li

The Curse of the Blackened Eye by Orville Peck

The Bug Collector by Haley Heynderickx

Roslyn by Bon Iver, St.Vincent

Always by Panic! At the Disco

Running up That Hill by Kate Bush

Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush

Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Ray

Pretty When You Cry by Lana Del Ray

Oblivion by Grimes

Daddy Issues by The Neighborhood

Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers

Vampire Empire by Big Thief

VOID by Melanie Martinez

EVIL by Melanie Martinez

THE CONTORTIONIST by Melanie Martinez

DEATH by Melanie Martinez

Sippy Cup by Melanie Martinez

Off Your Face by My Bloody Valentine

Please Please Please by Deftones

The Consequence of Imagination Is Fear by Junie & TheHutFriends

Dream Girl Evil by Florence + The Machine

Salt in The Wound by boygenius Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus

Fireworks by First Aid Kit

My Lady of Mercy by The Last Dinner Party

Sinner by The Last Dinner Party

Against The Kitchen Floor by Will Wood

New Perspective by Panic! At The Disco

Joan of Arc by Holly Henry

Carry Me by Crooks & Nannies

Deep Water by Strawberry Switchblade

Ecstasy (Apple of My Eye) by Strawberry Switchblade

Trees and Flowers by Strawberry Switchblade

Dante’s Inferno by WhirlyBird

Crimson + Clover by Pom Pom Squad

Sweet Tangerine by The Hush Sound

Pomegranate Seeds by Julian Moon

Through the Trees by Ryan LeVine

Goth by Sidewalks and Skeletons

Change ( In the House of Flies) by Deftones

Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie

Molly by Mindless Self Indulgence

Crybaby by Destroy Boys

Cirice by Ghost

Stay by Ghost, ft. Patrick Wilson

Dead! by My Chemical Romance

Helena by My Chemical Romance

I Disagree by Poppy

Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge

Kiss the Go-Goat by Ghost

Choke by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Mx. Sinister by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

I Cant Decide by Scissor Sisters

Zydrate Anatomy by Repo! The genetic Opera

Bang Bang Bang Bang by Sohodolls

Tell Me It’s Okay- Demo by Paramore

The Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic! At The Disco

Pink Rover by Scene Queen

Gimme Chocolate!! by Baby Metal

Play Destroy by Poppy, Grimes

Don’t Touch by Lil Mariko, Full Tac

Sweet Suicide by Candye Syrup

Crazy Girls by TOOPOOR

Strawberry Milky by Candye Syrup

I’m Baby by Lil Mariko

See No Evil by Ghost

Call Me Little Sunshine by Ghost

здравствуй by Peremotka

sorry my music taste is all over the place

This is from my Spotify

[sparklyslug]

Put your Spotify Wrapped on Shuffle and List the First 10 Songs.

Tagged by @capriciouslyterminal and @thefreakandthehair thank you lovelieeeees

You’re Welcome (Heathers West End cast recording) possibly the most disturbing song in a VERY DISTURBING MUSICAL it’s not my favorite but uh the whole album is in my wrapped so.

Daytona Sand (Orville Peck) this was my overall #3 for the year, Bronco ALSO on my wrapped in full. Perfect album. No notes no skips. I’ve been around long enough to know YOU CANT TRUST A MAN BUT AAAAAIIIIII AYEEEE AIIIIIII

The Kids From Yesterday (My Chemical Romance) 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 in a year blessed with so many concert beautiful moments, holding @therestlessdead and crying over this live was really up there with some of the very best.

Kiss Me Like the World is Ending (Avril Lavigne) AVRILS NEW ALBUM IS WALL TO WALL BOPS PERFECT RUNNING JAMS PERFECT DRIVE/SCREAM SONGS I WILL BE MAKING NO APOLOGIES FOR IT AT THIS TIME

Hello Hello (Elton John) AHAHAHAHA before I got back on Tumblr I logged serious Tiktok hours (shout out to my addictive personality girlies) and that’s how a song from Gnomeo and Juliet ended up on here. Also: Our Flag Means Death vibes.

Kalahari Down (Orville Peck) I can’t believe this is the year I found out he’s South African. Wild.

Light My Love (Greta Van Fleet) fell BIG in love with them this year, a ton more of their music ended up on my steddie playlist, but this one is a top-ranking OFMD playlist fave.

Shatter (Maggie Rogers) MASSIVE STEDDIE VIBES. MASSIVE!!! I would be arrested if people knew how I scream the “again again again again” part in my car. (I scream in my car a lot, it’s fine)

Kind of Girl (MUNA) the gut punch this song is. I heard it for the first time in some virtual stream of a concert they did before I saw them live last spring, way before the album came out, and my friends who were gonna watch with me bailed so I was just alone on my couch listening to lyrics about talking to yourself gentle and not seeing yourself as a problem to solve and I was just like HAHAHAHA UH OH!! God they’re so good.

I Say No (Heathers West End Cast) OH FUCK YEAH SO GLAD THIS CLOSED OUT THE LIST! My number one of the year overall. Listen. LISTEN! I have many thoughts and things about this musical and what it does for Veronica’s agency and empowerment and how it’s just so BRILLIANT of an adaptation, and this song as a fucking kiss off, a mighty breakup anthem, ripping off a toxic bandaid, and GOD CARRIE HOPE FLETCHER REALLY! DOES! THE DAMN THING! I have many thoughts. Many. Love this song.

Tagging! @greenlikethesea @dallae @flashyysins ENJOY GO FORTH

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Let Me Drown (Orville Peck)

Never knew where was home I slept a lifetime alone/Yeah, we had it one time but it's gone now, it's gone/Let me drown/I know with pleasure comes pain/I figured we were the same/But as I get older I get more afraid

"It is the best song for a good cry, when I'm down I listen to this on repeat. It so hard to stop listening to, you don't want any other song you want this again. The emotions are so strong you get swept away in it. I first heard this song on a video edit of Edward Teach (ofmd) after Stede leaves him. When he is turning back to his old ways and rejecting all the good in him that Stede brought out. He is throwing away his own growth and returning to the safety of a hard violent facade. It fits this song so well."

Epilogue (The Stanley Parable)

"Every single one of my friends know that I’ve bawled my eyes out at this song at least once. I’m a sucker for strong music, and the fact that I’m hyperfixated so hard on this damn game does not help. Listen. This game is a rollercoaster. From start to ‘end’, it is a rollercoaster. It presents itself as goofy and lighthearted, haha there’s a British guy following you around who reacts to your choices. It’s very silly, the jokes are funny, it doesn’t take itself seriously. Until it does. The Narrator, who supposedly created the game and takes great pride in it, is showing off his game’s success and reminiscing over the thing it used to be, in a place he calls the Memory Zone. Then, he stumbles upon a collection of negative reviews that make him realize that his game may not be all that he thinks it is. He’s desperate to please his players, and so he sacrifices himself and his time and creates a skip button, so that players who don’t want to hear his voice can skip through his dialogue. The time between skips gets longer and longer until he’s gone. Stanley is finally able to leave the room he’d been trapped in, and is met with open desert. A wasteland. He still hasn’t learned his lesson, even through billions of years (someone did the math) of solitude, and how much that affected him (and potentially killed him), he still desperately wants to please those who play his game. And so he puts together an expo to show off his ‘new features’. As he prepares to present it to Stanley, there’s a swell of hopeful and triumphant music. This is important. One of the exhibits is these figurines. If you collect all of them, there is supposedly ‘no reward’, but it actually unlocks an ending where the Narrator decides to release Stanley for good. This is the last step to unlocking the Epilogue, given to you by a mysterious entity who greets you every time you open the game. In the Epilogue, it’s mostly cutscenes. Stanley wanders the desert wasteland, while this music plays. The Narrator is not present. The Epilogue is a culmination of everything Stanley and the Narrator have gone through together, against each other and then against the world. The Epilogue takes place when the Narrator is gone, leaving Stanley to only wander alone with his memory, with no silly voice to keep him company. It’s a time where Stanley can only bring back memories about the Narrator as he faces survival in the desert. Alone. I cry every time the music swells during the sandstorm bit of the cutscenes. But at the very end of the song, when the music dies down, Stanley once again stumbles across the Memory Zone. The place that the Narrator once held dear, that held all his favorite memories, now dilapidated and half-buried in the sand. The place where the Narrator once enthusiastically showed off positive reviews of his game. The place he was proud of, hidden away where the developers would never see it. And. And do you know what this song does. When the Memory Zone comes into view. It fuckjgn reprises the song from the Narrator’s expo, once triumphant and swelling as he showed his creations off with a grand flourish, now quiet and sorrowful as you come across the memory zone without him present. And if the swelling of the sandstorm scene doesn’t hit me first, this bit fucking floors me. Every single time. The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe is a silly game about choice. It is also a game about companionship, and trust, and hurt, and grief. And during the true ‘ending’ of the game, before everything starts anew, when that music is playing, it’s the result of every single moment these characters have experienced, come together in one song, and a bunch of cutscenes. THAT is why this song fucks me up. sorry i dont know wtf possessed me just now but yeah. This game is a little obscure and many MANY people who have played it have not made it to the Epilogue, so I highly doubt it’s gonna make it very far into the tournament. But fuck if it can make me cry,"

[dietraumerei]

Episode 5! I have ordered sushi for dinner, and also am actually hoping to get some use out of this little list of impressions, because Iiiiiiii am quietly but gently freaking out over how to write them outta this one.

i know he's a pita and I know he still thinks he can change heaven and he is going to break my heart but I just love this manipulative-ass angel. we cannot help how we are made.

once again, I am a simple creature, the fez made me smile.

i hope miranda richardson had the TIME OF HER LIFE filming this show

hi Eric!!

the running joke of Azi speaking absolutely shit french is honestly funny i love it

as a person who had to sit through meetings not unlike this for several years Nina's desire to talk about the Christmas lights made me SCREAM

crowley everyone thinks you two are married on account of you're married, sorry.

i know he'd bite me, but I want to hug crowley

I think my cat is audibly snoring from several feet away, aw, buddy.

from the credits, the bridges that shift and meet in the middle feel like a nice metaphor.

It really is noticeable that they don't linger over meals together, share a table. Crowley even set up this romantic little moment! At least they are on their proper sides?

TALKING Aziraphale WHAT A CONCEPT MAYBE YOU COULD TRY IT SOMEDAY

there is so much happening here with Crowley interrogating Jim and he loves Aziraphale so much and he's so angry and he has no idea what on earth to do.

real good, not pretendy good.

Crowley, you're so nice

why does this delicate little piano piece make me want to cry so hard

oh!! I love this little pastoral motif from the first season!

Of course Crowley can convince Nina to trust him, she's the Aziraphale stand-in. It wouldn't work the other way round.

JIM'S SUIT IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE I WANT ONE I WANT TO WEAR IT EVERYWHERE I'M SCREAMING HE'S LIKE AN EVEN GAYER ORVILLE PECK AAAAA

Maggie, my precious babygirl!!!

oh that's a sweet discworld nod

this dance is so sweet but ngl I'm kind of wigged out by Aziraphale making everyone into...kind of dolls, to perform this evening.

ok, sushi break, played with the cat, and now I am back with water a nice glass of Shiraz.

hang I have to get some goss from a friend

how many awards does John Hamm have he deserves a few more.

shades of Caberet/Stories from Berlin -- they dance, as the world threatens to end around them, they dance and I die

oh this was a terrible angry dance. oh. oh this is what it's going to be like isn't it.

luckily I have [redacted] gossip to distract me I can't wait to watch this season over again without stopping every two minutes, lol.

crowley did you learn that rules-lawyering from Aziraphale or vice-versa or are you just both...like that.

"i won't leave you on your own" "i know" DYINGGGGGGG

also, tbh, the quick-talking is...really encouraging me to not have to write a fucking battle, which fills me deep and lasting ennui. Also I don't know if I want to *watch* a battle next season? They will talk and love and be brave out of this, not lead a platoon.

tbf I think that *does* about cover Miranda rights these days, weren't they kind of lowkey killed in the last term or three?

ok, last one. aaaaaaaaaaaaa

it feels like everything else was just weird dilly-dallying, and this is the episode where things *happened*. They almost properly talked to one another, instead of past each other.