astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo

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i posit that the entirety of scooby doo takes place within the world of the worst kurt vonnegut novel, slapstick. the primary theme of both scooby doo and slapstick involves the effects of individual loneliness on society.

in slapstick a pair of twins are born with horrible physical disfigurements and psychic powers that render them as geniuses when in close proximity and average when apart. they spend their entire childhood feigning mental incompetence in order to protect their incestuous relationship, which they one day reveal to their mother (because they think it'll be funny). she immediately sends the girl to an asylum and the boy to a boarding school. the boy only sees his sister once more time in his life in a helicopter many years later and spends decades regretting that he didn't run away with her to keep doing incest.

eventually the boy becomes potus with a plan to end all loneliness in america forever by assigning everyone a government mandated family, which works a little but is ultimately unable to prevent the functional collapse of western civilization. the book ends with the main character, the last president of the united states, walking around the ruins of manhattan (now known as the isle of death) with a tiny band of young ignorant survivors, mourning the downfall of the nation and all the incest he didn't get to do. (the less-read second half of vonnegut's bibliography is wild).

why does scooby doo take place in this book?

the mystery machine gang are obviously a part of one or several of the massive, randomly-assigned artificial families described in the book; this is why fred has thousands upon thousands of uncles to call upon for lodging and why every loser with a batcave or a haunted taqueria or an exhibition basketball team is obligated to treat him like family and put him and his friends up for a few nights. teens like the gang frequently take advantage of this, especially in their teens/early 20s to travel around the united states not unlike how a lot of kids in the EU will travel around for a summer or two after or around finishing high school. (i think people would do this when older too, of course, since in slapstick's america one is legally obligated to be nice to their assigned families, but anybody doing this in their forties is generally treated a lot less cordially.) since they are already celebrities in their own right as mystery solvers that helps ease the sting of another state-enforced visit from your in-laws and their disgusting untrained 200 pound great dane that the stoner kid is letting drink directly from the horchata dispenser

sometimes the societal decay in scooby doo is exaggerated for comedic purposes; one popular creepypasta-esque reinterpretation suggests that the gang are traveling around the midst of a sweeping economic depression. this works intuitively (why else are 50% of middle-aged men in the midwest eagerly dressing up as swamp monsters to commit insurance fraud schemes for their failing pizza parlors/deserted mining towns/cowboy-themed road stop tourist traps? why else would four teenagers and a great dane sleep together in back of a rusty ford econoline every other night?) personally i don't think this goes far enough. scooby doo must take place in a world where society has effectively disintegrated; what we see is much closer to a slow apocalypse than a depression. in scooby doo when we meet a group of people it feels more like one has stumbled into yet another roving band of survivors. obviously there are centers of pseudo-civilization and at least a temporary peace (there's just enough stability to convince most people that the dollar still has some theoretical value and that they should exchange them to watch John Cena or play baseball-themed videogames) but these are small localized walled-off zones designed only for celebrities, the ultra-rich, and a tiny shrinking professional class that is allowed to exist there only because of aforementioned legal obligation or the services they provided (such as solving mysteries!). whereas the peasantry puts on glowing diving suits as a matter of economic desperation, in the upper-class enclaves where they watch wwf all day and go on cruise ships or climb everest they dress up as monsters only to sate boredom, for nothing else can excite them. 99% of the world has become a barren infinite gary indiana where the serfs wallow and the remaining percent lives in a castle and the lines of communication between everybody has broken down so much that rather than talk, they can only think to frighten away

scooby doo is not a real dog, he is shaggy's deformed incestuous twin and they have a psychic bond. fred's really suspicious of them, he's gone for walks at night and seen the van shaking a little when there's nobody but the two of them in the parked car. they both say they were just making five-foot sandwiches, fred nods (there aren't any crumbs but they always unhinge their entire jaw to the floor to swallow them whole, so that tracks) but in his heart he looks at the way shaggy bats his eyes at that mutt when he thinks nobody's looking and fred knows what's going on. should he say something? what if he's wrong? he knows he's not, him and velma have never spoken about it per se but they've shared looks at the right moments, hell she's so smart, she probably figured it out before him. but to say it, to actually make the accusation, he can't imagine a world where those words leave his mouth. so they all just live with it. it's awful. everybody jokes about how fred splits up the gang but the truth is he doesn't want to do it, he hates splitting them up, he'd never do that if it were up to him, not with monsters and crooks on the loose. but shaggy complains if he doesn't, so what is fred to do?

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

cada vez q m voy a dormir (tipo 3 d la mañana. m duermo cuando vss t despertad más o menos) empiezo a escuchar ruidos bien feos por mí casa como q mueven muebles y cuando m levanto no hay nadien y nunca se si es q es mí mamá q vive en la casa del lado y de despierta por la noche a hacer desmadre o es q por fin me estoy volviendo loco o vino el espíritu d john lennon a buscarme por decir q paul le jugueteaba en su puerta trasera.... yo me siento como está señora rubia q no estoy seguro si es trisja paytas o no. ella es yo y yo soy ella...

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

reblog to blow up a transphobe

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

no t funcionó intentar mandarme tus vibras caquiles (d caca) xq m voy a dormir ya Y NO CAGUÉ👿👿

como q no fincionaron.... entonces significa q....... mis vibras cagonas......... se estan rebotando hacia mi..!!!!!!!

CONCHETUMAREAHHHHHHHHJHHBNBVCBVH

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

To combat my feelings of being a useless human being, I've started working out. I used to have very toned arms that I was proud of. I hope to get them back.

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

tell me a fun fact about your country that people don't tend to assume. Here's mine.

There are random ass horses running around. You can just see them by intersections. They're as common as stray cats and dogs and roosters.

Very poor picture I took of a group of horses (vague brown blobs in the background) on a highway

^another horse I saw outside an abandoned building

There are signs on highways so that people know to watch out for horses. Crazy stuff

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

Decided to start posting my au, in which Saiki and the gang somehow get stuck in the project sekai universe. Of course, only chaos can come out of this.

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

Today I learned that you're not supposed to ask people to check out your tumblr on ao3? Because you might be trying to make money ig? I can follow that logic that's fine by me. But what if I am not trying to make money. What if I want people to look at my posts

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

they hate me because im PRETTY and FUNNY and COOL and HOT and a BAD PERSON

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

oh boys I can't waits to work on my many projects, I says with joys. I look up and it's another unfinished cultoboss concept

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

smarter people than me have worded this much more eloquently before, but everything that's going on with sheila e. and giorno in purple haze feedback is just... aachkk.

sheila e. is swearing fealty to giorno not out of any real belief of giorno's ideals, but rather because its simply all she has. what else is she gonna do? she needs to find something to keep her moving, something to give her a reason. it feels pathetic and sad as well as... disturbing LOL, i reject the notion that giorno is a manipulator completely, i simply do not believe that to be what is happening throughout vento aureo/phf, but i WOULD say that sheila e is almost giving up her free will in exchange for giornos. its a deeper devotion than a believer would have with god, but its left shattered laughably easy, because she doesnt have any real basis to believe in what giorno says...

the fact we are left open ended on her will always make me suffer... drop the sequel please mr kadano kouhei....

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

EVERYONE LISTEN TO 君の体温 (Kimi No Taion) NOW!!!!!!

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

yesterday, I spent four hours working on this. I don't even know why I made it. I think it was just to prove to myself that I could.

I learned a lot, such as:

- I suck at Japanese

- Culto is a pain in the ass to draw

-Boss's stupid hairline is also a pain in the ass to draw

- I need to work harder on getting a better art style

At least I can say I did all of this myself. The Japanese is probably hella incorrect (please yell at me in the tags, more intelligent friends)

The intended translation (probs not what it says)

Panel 1-

Per: "Boss is feeling upset..."

Culto: "Ooh...."

Panel 2-

(Boss in the background: "CULTO!")

Culto: "He's going to make me suffer... I'm not looking forward to iiiiiit!"

Per: "Yeah, I don't really want to see that."

Culto: "Huh?!"

Panel 3-

Box: "Culto's plan is...."

Culto: "Oi, Boss, nice ass~"

Panel 4-

Boss: "It's true, isn't it? Tell me more! ♡"

Box: "Boss's Weakness: Compliments"

For my first time trying this, I'm actually very happy with it. I drew and wrote it all myself even though it was very hard. (Not to say that I don't usually draw everything myself. This was a little out of my comfort zone, that's all. I ain't no prompt generator "artist")

Oh and here's what Google translate thought was going on

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

Legitimately severely critically underrated

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

woke giorno says to condemn your enemies to eternal punishment

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

I wanna talk about how Per, despite doing his best to be a good brother and sacrificing everything for his sister, is not good at taking care of her.

He

- doesn't let Marie express her unhappiness (essentially forcing her to be as repressed and unemotional as he is, and, albeit unintentionally, creating Stars)

- spends most of his time working instead of being with her (true, he was trying to keep her away from mafia business, but she still needed him)

- disregards her feelings (there are so many examples of this, even though it is stated that he cares and wants to see her happy)

- puts a lot of pressure on her to do well in school (because if she doesn't do well in school, what is he working so hard for?)

- has her feeling responsible for his safety because he refuses to care for himself (not realizing that no matter how difficult she may be and how much she may say she hates him, his sister, after losing her father and mother, would be devastated to lose the only family member she has left)

All this, and he also had to be encouraged by Mista to go talk to her when she was upset. It's safe to say Per is not a very good parental figure. Not that it's his fault- he should never have had to be responsible for his (at the time) ten year old sister, not to mention an insane debt. Still, that doesn't change the fact that Marie's behavior is almost 100% his fault. A girl who is never listened to is going to become a girl who screams and kicks and bites until someone pays attention. (And I, for one, adore her for it.) I understand that there wasn't much else Per could have done in his situation; I think it's good to represent the experiences of people who loved people in their care very much, yet didn't do a very good job of taking care of them.

Like usual I forgot where I was going with this. Anyway Per and Marie are so cool and they make me crazy

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

[*taps mic*]

[*The mic feedback is a shrill ring. It cuts through the room, and reaches the back walls near the entrance before dissapating completely. A silence quickly taking its place, hanging over the crowd as their gaze is drawn to the front of the room*]

[*Clears throat, leans into the mic, and speaks softly into it*]

"Sex Pistols Six Bullets is Jojo's minions"