#because life is fucking expensive.
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so i fucked up royally today. my laptop is completely fucked for the time being as i accidentally broke the screen like the moron i truly am, so all projects are currently on hiatus until i can either get the secondary laptop i have running and unlocked, or i can get my primary laptop fixed. basically; i'm beyond fucked right now.
#i am god's favorite punching bag#and i'm about to punch him in the fucking nuts for what he's done to me#fuck this#fuck my life#fuck everything#i just want one good day#one fucking day#where i'm not stressed beyond belief#and being fucking tested#i now understand why people steal#because life is fucking expensive.#writer#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writerscommunity#fanfic#fanfiction#fanfiction writer#ao3 fanfic
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I’ll be honest i HATE the way the QSMP fanbase is treating Gegg and Tallulah. Like Gegg literally just appears, bro hasn’t done a single thing and people start talking about how they want him to die 😭 ?? And Tallulah starts feeling insecure trough no fault of Gegg and the Gegg tag just EXPLODES with hate. I’m a big petty baby and i don’t like seeing /neg in the tags bro. It just kinda feels like tallulahs the golden child who can do no wrong and Geggs the scapegoat who’s blamed for everything, and i feel like people are already taking it too far
#Gegg#QSMP#worm do rant#I can't belive im ranting about minecraft egg roleplay#To be honest i really relate to the whole seeking love an affection thing#so the first gegg stream was kind of like emotionally comforting almost#and then this gegg stream was fucking awful ngl#like its super funny#but seeing how people reacted to gegg made me upset#Also? geniunely starting to not like Tallulah#just by assosiation#don't like seeing her treated as the golden child at geggs expense#this might all sound rlly stupid but im off my meds and i need to be emotionally invested in something that has no consaquence over my life#because if i focus on my actual problems im gonna kay em ess#HE DID FLOW UP TILINS ROOM THATS FUCKED UP#but aside from that? bros innocent#i support geggs rights and geggs wrongs
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gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow
#life update if anyone gaf we're now at the point where i know i'm getting the adhd diagnosis and yet i STILL HAVE TO WAIT#like she just isnt sure if it's adhd or add (its norway theyre not gonna update the terms any time soon just roll with it)#and im just like. girl i don't give a fuck#its been so many years i cant do this anymore#we've talked to my fucking kindergarten teachers like 😭 they've investigated my entire life atp#to make sure i did in fact have all these issues from birth#because my word and my mum's word just isn't good enough i guess#like lets rely on the selective memories of random ass people ive encountered growing up this is ASININE#anyway my godmother had a 4h consultation the other day and got diagnosed on the spot#so now my mum is mad at her LMFAO#cause my mum's like. that bitch doesn't even have adhd. shes fine.#which i feel like is probably wrong but i agree with the sentiment#where is the deep dive investigation into her wholeass existence 😭#its cause she got to go private but they refuse to refer me to a private specialist so i have to keep going publuc#public#and if i go private on my own its too expensive plus the waitlist is years long#so. whatever. i guess.#man im so tired.#i will never ever ever forgive my psychiatrist from when i was 15 who said i probably had adhd but because i did ok in school its fine#and they wouldnt set the diagnosis#because the fact that i have papers from when i was 15 saying i don't have it is what's making this all so difficult#even though if you read all the papers it says i hit on EVERY SINGLE POINT#which is why the One Psych who listened to me is absolutely fuming losing her mind cause she can't understand why any of this happened#man i hate my fucking life lol
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guess who probably has a tooth abscess. Lmao
#expect a donation post for this to go up sometime soon because I did not need a fucking dental bill right before I began christmas shopping#fuck my entire life why is this shit so expensive even WITH insurance
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I’m just saying, if you’re going to have a college or university in such a car centric country and are located in a car dependent city, maybe you should be legally required to have at least one parking spot per student.
#I am having fun in college#aka swig considers if they’ll risk their life on the central street with an e-bike so they can park someplace cheaper#because oh my fucking Lordt#I have complaints but it’s 1 am I am sleepy#it summarizes as—#colleges and unis will NOT do this bc they get money from absurdly expensive parking passes and parking tickets#I get WHY cities crop up around universities but I’d like it if they DID THAT LESS MAYBE#or get a better bus system if they do I swear#the central street fucking terrifies me#for good reason tbh
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HAVING THE MOST "FUCK IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE" LATE YULE OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
#real life with risa#THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE#y'all let me fucking tell you#I'm sorry I'm gonna be giving a whole other text post in the tags#So on top of me finding out that I misread the movie poster for shadow#my day nurse called in for the ENTIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEE WEEKEEEEEND#so my poor brother was stuck here since Friday night (he went home this morning)#and yule was saturday and I usually make a stuffed porkchop dinner with cornbread#NOW. USUALLY THAT'S IT. But since my life sucks this year and I also don't get a full Christmas with the fam#I decided to do A Little More and bought ingredients for green bean casserole and potato gratin#okay well my brother hates cooking when he's not dog tired on a 72-hour shift so none of that is happening#so I decide to do it today when I have a nurse again because those ingredients were expensive and I'm gonna use em#I got the wrong goddamn potatoes so okay that's fine. I'll just make some shells and cheese instead#cook the green beans. go to get the baking dish. Can't find baking dish. how.#Call my mom#SHE NEVER RETURNED IT FROM THANKSGIVING. COOL COOL COOL COOL#BEANS ARE ALREADY COOKED ON THE STOVE#so I said fuck it and shoved them in my new dutch oven and I have no idea if it will work or if they'll cook right but IT'S DONE#THIS IS NOW A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE#I'M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE OUT HERE
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Honestly your tags are so fun to read every time, i'm almost more excited for them than the actual post (but not entirely because your art is SO GOOD!!!! i adore it). If you don't mind me asking, what are you studying?
i am studying psychology because i refuse to see a therapist so ill figure out whats wrong with me myself !!!!!!!
#snap chats#WITH. a minor in human resources ☝️ because im evil or something#and whatever character/s i decide to fixate on for the next three years i will also psychoanalyze them I Guess. //loud coughing//#tbh i only saw a therapist to get medicine but since bloodwork is expensive without insurance i dont even do that anymore. sad !#but yeah im a certified rambler if i dont share every thought i have so people understand me as much as i want them to ill die#which is why charles xavier if youre out there you have full rights to my brain .......... //gross wink sound//#why cant telepaths be real itd make my life so much easier. i woudnt have to talk a mile a minute anymore#because i do talk very fast because growing up my mom would cut me off a lot#so now i talk fast in fear of being cut off without all my thoughts being heard. anyways.#thank you for also enjoying my art :] a sideshow to the glory that is my tags i KNOWWW but im glad my efforts are not unnoticed 😌#back to My Major tho when i was in middle school i thought i wanted to go into comic books#but then i thought id lose my love for drawing if i did it professionally so now i do it. semi professionally#on my own terms babyyyy thats right. and if im lucky i get paid to draw my faves im living the dream babes#thats why my text posts take nine years for me to type im legitimately sitting here thinking if i said everything i wanted#and if i worded it right but even then after it's up im like 'but did i word it right tho' but its like 'bro just fucking POST IT'#'ITS NOT THAT DEEP' its as my favorite professor once told me 'youre very paranoid' and he's right !!!! im very paranoid 🥰#ok im done now. see thats why i say Ok Im Done Now its a sign im forcing myself to shut UP#wait not done Almost but not quite i was rewatching 97 to Try to get caps of charles in his combat uniform#and i fear i still cackle at erik telling charles to shut up like PLEAAASSE...... i need that bit CLIPPED#it makes me giggle ... someone remind me to clip all of erik's cameos in the squirrelgirl podcast btw#ive been meaning to do that for weeks but. oops <3 i need all my grandpa's moments CATALOGUED and AT THE READY..#ok i done fr now i have class with my you're-paranoid professor in like an hour and i wanna get some work done before then#BYYYYYEEEE. FOR LIKE TWENTY MINUTES PROBABLY IDK
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okay so I saw someone say celiac disease isn’t a disability because ‘all you have to do is avoid gluten’ and I. I’m about to lose my shit.
are you not fucking aware of how much gluten is present in everyday life? Are you not aware how mild cross-contamination can KILL people with celiac? Are you not aware how some kids are raised EATING GLUTEN, IRREVERSIBLY destroying their immune system and the lining of their stomach because their parents didn’t know or didn’t bother to find out what was wrong?
You can help mitigate the effects of some disabilities by doing certain things, but that doesn’t make them NOT disabilities.
Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder. It is not the same as a mild intolerance. It can and will destroy your stomach and intestines.
Jesus fucking Christ.
#it was a comment under a post where someone was like ‘hey having a gluten intolerance doesn’t make you c-punk’#which. first of all celiac is not just an intolerance. second of all being disabled does not equal cpunk#that is a HUGE extrapolation#and third of all the commenter said they had celiac which I don’t doubt. but celiac involves a range of symptoms and sensitivities to gluten#worrying about cross-contamination for those of us who are really sensitive#is a VERY involved process#and gluten-free things are often so much more expensive#and EXTREMELY inaccessible#speak for your fucking self#celiac disease#disability#I would not mind so much if anyone actually took celiac seriously#but NOBODY in my actual in person life has#I had a girl at school SCREAM at me and call me stuff because I asked if we couldn’t do a pizza party and instead plan something accessible#i cannot attend any type of event based around meals because I need that time to eat what I make#I cannot attend anything where ‘food will be provided’ and if I do I have to plan my meals so I can make my own and bring it#I am often left hungry to the point of lightheadedness and nearly passing out because people plan involved things over a meal assuming we#all can get fast food after#ableism
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Found the guide written by that person who recently made that big post about how they would dm people advice on raising meat rabbits in light of food contamination and. Well.
#not against raising animals for meat but i dont think we should be encouraging people to build fucking#mini factory farms in their homes#also this is straight up not true like yes rabbits are okay living alone but they are social animals and more importantly#they need exercise they are very active critters#and yes high-quality pellets generally meet their nutritional requirements it isnt good for their teeth#rabbits chew in circular motions to help grind their teeth down and feeding them exclusively pellets can cause them to stop doing that#they also claim exotic pet vets are expensive/inacessible and granted idk what its like in the usa but vets here only charge like $150-$200#like sorry but just because an animal can survive well enough with a bare minimum quality of life doesnt mean you should be doing that
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hey can random fucking strangers on the internet please stop recommending me ways to kill my own rats every time I have to put one to sleep
#this happens every time I have to and comment on how expensive it is#I know these people are just trying to be helpful/aren't trying to be malicious but it's so fucking insensitive#oh your beloved pet is sick and dying and in so much pain the humane thing to do is to kill them?#don't be an idiot and spend money just kill them yourself! I've never spoken or interacted with you in my life btw#like its so WEIRD fuck OFF#esp like after the pet has died. why don't you lock yourself in a tarrarium filled with nitrogen gas and kill yourself#also sorry but like. why would I believe a stranger on the internet that it's painless over years of veterinary research 😭#I am often distrustful of vets Especially with my rats because most don't fuckin know anything about them#but I do know that when they gave spica the sedative I got to hold her#that she just fell asleep#and her breathing slowed#and when it was time they gave her the shot#and she wasn't scared#that I didn't have to fucking lock her in a bucket alone with deadly gas to suffocate while she was already sick and scared#just because I wannted to save some money#also like if you can put your own pet to sleep there is no judgement from me I admire your strength#but I could not kill my own animal#and its frankly crazy for a stranger on the internet to suggest that I do#while I'm struggling with their sickness/death#when rats have to be put down so much of the time its because they are horribly and traumatically sick#and its just so fucked to look at someone going through that#now struck w the financial burden of a vet bill#and being like uhm just do it yourself at home?#this has happened More Than Once btw#ghost posts#text#animal death
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ok the thing which fucked me up the most with mouthwashing is anya and how giving curly his painkillers triggers her so much. because of my extremely personal issue problems.
#this will sound insane but. it made me think of my grandma.#i have really intense issues with infantilization because of some weird wires that got crossed in my brain when i was little#yaknow. when you're a kid and you don't know what sexuality is and why certain things feel good.#of course this has not effected my psyche in any way! (sarcasm.)#seeing someone i love and always took as a granted fact of my existence slowly losing her autonomy due to dementia and regressing#i can't fucking stand it when my parents make infantilizing jokes at her expense. everything is just a normal fact of life of course#you'll lose control of your bladder. your eating habits will become strange. you'll lose what little filter you had#and of course everything will feel like an imposition if you can't remember agreeing to something#but still. i know it's something which shouldn't upset me. frankly it's maybe kinda ableist.#but those crossed wires in my brain makes certain things feel like an attack. both on her and on me by proxy#sorry i'm insane. wow i wonder why i developed the problems i'm having now! the seeds were never there (sarcasm again).
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Companies using """"""""AI"""""""" chatbots in place of customer service (usually with a veneer of pretending you are actually speaking to a real person, which might not be so immediately obvious to more tech illiterate people) pisses me off so bad because they are just SO fundamentally useless. The only information it can tell you is information more efficiently communicated with a FAQ page, and information that is Wrong because current chatbot technology is, in fact, not even slightly 'intelligent' and pretty damn bad at giving accurate answers to anything but the simplest questions.
Like there's no point to it besides hoping onto the flashy artificial 'intelligence' gimmick and paying for less customer service work hours, and so many companies will not only have this feature but make their actual customer service prohibitively difficult to find (and usually involving a labyrinth of automated phone menu systems that you have to navigate correctly in order to get to a person). Makes me want to kill.
#Attempting to navigate support for Uber drivers (not as a customer but like as someone who is fucking working for the company)#is one of the most hellish experiences I have ever had#Because their easily accessible 'driver help' feature is a chatbot and their phone system probably qualifies as a form of torture#Literally you have to figure out the correct sequence of answers to get to a human by trial and error and it will hang up on you if you hit#any number of automated 'dead ends'#There was one time I didn't get paid for a really expensive delivery because the fucking app kept crashing and it's like they're under#the impression that their shitty fucking app is just Too Functional for that to be a potential problem so you have to outright lie to#the phone system to get to a human about this particular issue#Was pacing on the sidewalk for at least 45 minutes feeling the most homicidal I have ever felt in my life before I finally managed#to get to a human and then the answer was 'we can't help you' which like. Yeah#Yeah you can't can you. Yea
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look I don’t know how incentivized it is compared to the US or if it is even possible in Japan but I just. really want kazuki and rei to at some point consider getting married for tax reasons
#buddy daddies#kazuki kurusu#rei suwa#kazurei#buddy daddy spoilers#mostly in the tags#because HOLY SHIT THAT EPISODE#that ‘laundry and taxes’ eeaao quote has been floating around AND one of my artist friends and their wife had to do taxes recently#and made a comic about it so I’ve been thinking about this#and they opened a diner together! a legitimate business! and I doubt either of them has done honest taxes before in their FUCKING LIFE!!!!#you can’t deduct clothes with bullet holes as a business expense in a country where very few people have guns!#plus I hear (haven’t looked into at all) that Japan is encouraging family starting#so there might be on-paper benefits to be a family as well#but would those benefits come if the parents aren’t married?#fuck it just do a veeery slight AU of ‘gay marriage is legal in Japan’ and roll with it#in which I babble to the world#rambling in tags
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when you're disabled, being financially abused by your parents never ends
#so you're telling me that you got 5k this week from claiming me on your taxes#while hounding me about how i haven't been contributing enough to bills & expenses (i was giving you what you asked for!)#and none of it will go to me because ''i owe it to you for living with you''#despite the fact that 5k nearly covers the mortgage for the entire YEAR#DESPITE THE FACT THAT I COULD PAY OFF MY OWN LANDLORD AND MOVE OUT#btw i literally only let her claim me on her taxes bc she said she'd be giving it to me. and this is the third time she has done this.#promised me it wouldn't happen again. she used me.#she does this thing a lot#where she acts like she's helping people but only does it to hold it over their head#i told her i could have been paying her more for bills but she told me i didn't have to#and now she's complaining that i don't pay enough#i will literally tell her not to help me sometimes#bc she'll do it anyway and then later on you hear ''i did something nice for you so if you don't help me with a favor right now...#...I'll do everything I can to sabotage your life''#so she literally only does it for personal gain#so that she can have an excuse to feel like she's better than all of her kids and that we're just stupid ungrateful assholes#all 3 of her kids could be telling her that her logic is wrong and she won't budge#another thing that happened recently is that she told me i needed to pay her back for a gift she bought me that got stolen#which is also something she does a lot. buys me things without asking and then telling me i have to pay her back for them#i had way more stuff stolen that i had personally bought#i didn't ask for that fucking keyboard sorry. I ALREADY HAD ONE.#and she's been going on about how ''she's the one who's ACTUALLY being affected''#she is FULLY AWARE that the dude she lets over has stolen from us MULTIPLE times#but apparently it's my responsibility to pay her back for something out of my control#STOP BUYING ME SHIT AND TELLING ME I DON'T NEED TO PAY YOU MORE IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD#IF I'M SUCH A BURDEN MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEAVE#.bdo
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a brand new moment in my life that’s left me flabbergasted about how shitty people can be is absolutely my uncle getting angry with me for spending money on glasses.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[they’re so expensive because… my vision is… horrible… and I need them… every day… to see???? I don’t…. what the fuck?? genuinely what the#ever loving Christ fuck???? what do you want me to do? because I literally cannot operate life without a prescription. what… the fuck. this#is a brand new fucking level. I absolutely hate my life. cannot wait for tomorrow when I get a lecture as a grown adult from a grown adult#who just thinks you shouldn’t spend money. I’m so fucking tired. I’m so. fucking. tired.]
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anybody else frustrated at the AAC app options that exist out there because i am
#i'm gonna be so blunt because this is literally an accessibility feature that would make my life a little easier at times#the options all completely fucking suck ass#if there are any that are good they are way too expensive for me to even bother looking into#it's pathetic#like GENUINELY pathetic#why are SOUNDBOARDS that are not designed for AAC better suited for it#that's HORRIBLE because those are NOT GOOD for it either#i'm#ugh#i can't even articulate this one into words i just ranted like entire paragraphs to my friends about it though
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