#because life is fucking expensive.
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so i fucked up royally today. my laptop is completely fucked for the time being as i accidentally broke the screen like the moron i truly am, so all projects are currently on hiatus until i can either get the secondary laptop i have running and unlocked, or i can get my primary laptop fixed. basically; i'm beyond fucked right now.
#i am god's favorite punching bag#and i'm about to punch him in the fucking nuts for what he's done to me#fuck this#fuck my life#fuck everything#i just want one good day#one fucking day#where i'm not stressed beyond belief#and being fucking tested#i now understand why people steal#because life is fucking expensive.#writer#writeblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writerscommunity#fanfic#fanfiction#fanfiction writer#ao3 fanfic
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I’ll be honest i HATE the way the QSMP fanbase is treating Gegg and Tallulah. Like Gegg literally just appears, bro hasn’t done a single thing and people start talking about how they want him to die 😭 ?? And Tallulah starts feeling insecure trough no fault of Gegg and the Gegg tag just EXPLODES with hate. I’m a big petty baby and i don’t like seeing /neg in the tags bro. It just kinda feels like tallulahs the golden child who can do no wrong and Geggs the scapegoat who’s blamed for everything, and i feel like people are already taking it too far
#Gegg#QSMP#worm do rant#I can't belive im ranting about minecraft egg roleplay#To be honest i really relate to the whole seeking love an affection thing#so the first gegg stream was kind of like emotionally comforting almost#and then this gegg stream was fucking awful ngl#like its super funny#but seeing how people reacted to gegg made me upset#Also? geniunely starting to not like Tallulah#just by assosiation#don't like seeing her treated as the golden child at geggs expense#this might all sound rlly stupid but im off my meds and i need to be emotionally invested in something that has no consaquence over my life#because if i focus on my actual problems im gonna kay em ess#HE DID FLOW UP TILINS ROOM THATS FUCKED UP#but aside from that? bros innocent#i support geggs rights and geggs wrongs
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Today was such a shitty fucking day and it's all Mark Zuckerberg's fault
#I'm sooooo tired and other than the FUCKING HR thing i spent the rest of the day#battling Meta aka the system designed to be inimical to human life#I'm not kidding if you haven't spent large quantities of time having to interact with the business side of meta#you do not get it. you don't. all the times they update Facebook on the dashboard end to make it Worse Uglier and Less Usable#they do 5000x worse on the business management dashboard. it is fucking unusable#and i have logged multiple support tickets over the last 3 weeks and literally they just go into the void#and then GUESS WHAT OUR ACCOUNT IS SUSPENDED BECAUSE THE PROBLEM ISN'T FIXABLE ON OUR END#anyway long story short i had to make a £200 expense claim bc i had to use my personal money to handle it#and the rest of the time i was rererereplanning my recruitment schedule#and i got NOTHING done and it made me SO FRUSTRATED AND TIRED
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guess who probably has a tooth abscess. Lmao
#expect a donation post for this to go up sometime soon because I did not need a fucking dental bill right before I began christmas shopping#fuck my entire life why is this shit so expensive even WITH insurance
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I’m just saying, if you’re going to have a college or university in such a car centric country and are located in a car dependent city, maybe you should be legally required to have at least one parking spot per student.
#I am having fun in college#aka swig considers if they’ll risk their life on the central street with an e-bike so they can park someplace cheaper#because oh my fucking Lordt#I have complaints but it’s 1 am I am sleepy#it summarizes as—#colleges and unis will NOT do this bc they get money from absurdly expensive parking passes and parking tickets#I get WHY cities crop up around universities but I’d like it if they DID THAT LESS MAYBE#or get a better bus system if they do I swear#the central street fucking terrifies me#for good reason tbh
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im reaching new and concerning levels of understanding watanuki on a personal level
#there we go thats the post#at this point its hard to tell which traits of his i DONT understand on a personal level#cutaway gag to me watching this show in like 2011 like waow cool gay ghost show having no idea whats about to hit me#watanuki is and will always be the best metaphor i turn to in times of struggle because i guess we r the fucking same except hes hot#and has eternal life and is more selfless#other than that we r the same#I say i kin him sometimes as a joke but like i probably do feel that connection more than plenty of people who actually kin LOL like#not LITERALLY but i am very aware of it all#no such thing as coincidence. you meet the pathetic twink when you are like 12 or something and your fate has been sealed#the funny part of this is when im in love i feel a lot like doumeki actually#i carry both of their fundamental legacies like in rakugo shinju but instead of cool shit i am like actively rotting#anyway the love is still there im just. im not allowed to. do it. i guess#i dont know#i dont fucking know#i want to fast forward to the time we can laugh abt it and i can go you are my best friend in the whole world we're perfectly ok#anyways#at least i can be like. Sick xxxholic reference#whenever anything horrible happens to me#but unfortunately it isnt making anything go away yet#love is terrifying#i guess if i was in either of their positions i wouldn't close the distance either#id need the other person to show me#and id still be terrified to cross the boundary#now more than ever#its funny isnt it#now if i joke about that stuff itll be at my expense too
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okay so I saw someone say celiac disease isn’t a disability because ‘all you have to do is avoid gluten’ and I. I’m about to lose my shit.
are you not fucking aware of how much gluten is present in everyday life? Are you not aware how mild cross-contamination can KILL people with celiac? Are you not aware how some kids are raised EATING GLUTEN, IRREVERSIBLY destroying their immune system and the lining of their stomach because their parents didn’t know or didn’t bother to find out what was wrong?
You can help mitigate the effects of some disabilities by doing certain things, but that doesn’t make them NOT disabilities.
Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder. It is not the same as a mild intolerance. It can and will destroy your stomach and intestines.
Jesus fucking Christ.
#it was a comment under a post where someone was like ‘hey having a gluten intolerance doesn’t make you c-punk’#which. first of all celiac is not just an intolerance. second of all being disabled does not equal cpunk#that is a HUGE extrapolation#and third of all the commenter said they had celiac which I don’t doubt. but celiac involves a range of symptoms and sensitivities to gluten#worrying about cross-contamination for those of us who are really sensitive#is a VERY involved process#and gluten-free things are often so much more expensive#and EXTREMELY inaccessible#speak for your fucking self#celiac disease#disability#I would not mind so much if anyone actually took celiac seriously#but NOBODY in my actual in person life has#I had a girl at school SCREAM at me and call me stuff because I asked if we couldn’t do a pizza party and instead plan something accessible#i cannot attend any type of event based around meals because I need that time to eat what I make#I cannot attend anything where ‘food will be provided’ and if I do I have to plan my meals so I can make my own and bring it#I am often left hungry to the point of lightheadedness and nearly passing out because people plan involved things over a meal assuming we#all can get fast food after#ableism
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Found the guide written by that person who recently made that big post about how they would dm people advice on raising meat rabbits in light of food contamination and. Well.
#not against raising animals for meat but i dont think we should be encouraging people to build fucking#mini factory farms in their homes#also this is straight up not true like yes rabbits are okay living alone but they are social animals and more importantly#they need exercise they are very active critters#and yes high-quality pellets generally meet their nutritional requirements it isnt good for their teeth#rabbits chew in circular motions to help grind their teeth down and feeding them exclusively pellets can cause them to stop doing that#they also claim exotic pet vets are expensive/inacessible and granted idk what its like in the usa but vets here only charge like $150-$200#like sorry but just because an animal can survive well enough with a bare minimum quality of life doesnt mean you should be doing that
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hey can random fucking strangers on the internet please stop recommending me ways to kill my own rats every time I have to put one to sleep
#this happens every time I have to and comment on how expensive it is#I know these people are just trying to be helpful/aren't trying to be malicious but it's so fucking insensitive#oh your beloved pet is sick and dying and in so much pain the humane thing to do is to kill them?#don't be an idiot and spend money just kill them yourself! I've never spoken or interacted with you in my life btw#like its so WEIRD fuck OFF#esp like after the pet has died. why don't you lock yourself in a tarrarium filled with nitrogen gas and kill yourself#also sorry but like. why would I believe a stranger on the internet that it's painless over years of veterinary research 😭#I am often distrustful of vets Especially with my rats because most don't fuckin know anything about them#but I do know that when they gave spica the sedative I got to hold her#that she just fell asleep#and her breathing slowed#and when it was time they gave her the shot#and she wasn't scared#that I didn't have to fucking lock her in a bucket alone with deadly gas to suffocate while she was already sick and scared#just because I wannted to save some money#also like if you can put your own pet to sleep there is no judgement from me I admire your strength#but I could not kill my own animal#and its frankly crazy for a stranger on the internet to suggest that I do#while I'm struggling with their sickness/death#when rats have to be put down so much of the time its because they are horribly and traumatically sick#and its just so fucked to look at someone going through that#now struck w the financial burden of a vet bill#and being like uhm just do it yourself at home?#this has happened More Than Once btw#ghost posts#text#animal death
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ok the thing which fucked me up the most with mouthwashing is anya and how giving curly his painkillers triggers her so much. because of my extremely personal issue problems.
#this will sound insane but. it made me think of my grandma.#i have really intense issues with infantilization because of some weird wires that got crossed in my brain when i was little#yaknow. when you're a kid and you don't know what sexuality is and why certain things feel good.#of course this has not effected my psyche in any way! (sarcasm.)#seeing someone i love and always took as a granted fact of my existence slowly losing her autonomy due to dementia and regressing#i can't fucking stand it when my parents make infantilizing jokes at her expense. everything is just a normal fact of life of course#you'll lose control of your bladder. your eating habits will become strange. you'll lose what little filter you had#and of course everything will feel like an imposition if you can't remember agreeing to something#but still. i know it's something which shouldn't upset me. frankly it's maybe kinda ableist.#but those crossed wires in my brain makes certain things feel like an attack. both on her and on me by proxy#sorry i'm insane. wow i wonder why i developed the problems i'm having now! the seeds were never there (sarcasm again).
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sometimes I forget we (americans) live in a horrible society that is actively trying to crush us because I've cultivated my space so much
and then rent is due
#anti capitalism#i want to support indie creators#but no#instead i have to go give my money to some guy who wont stop raising my rent beyond a stupid amount#because is a studio thats within walking distance to downtown and campus#and I only have to pay half the rent and with my current job#paired with my new medical expenses#its been a fucking nightmare 🫠#anyways im loving life hbu
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Me, every time I make a purchase over $100: I have made an Unwise* Financial Decision :(
*completely necessary, but expensive
#mine#diapers+new baby monitor=$230 🤮#needed a new monitor because the secondhand one we got when Little Miss was born is finally dying#honestly it's not been great this whole time; the monitor had a 20-second battery life when we got it#i tried contacting the company but it's been two years since i emailed support and can't find them online#so I'm not getting a new battery that way#if‚ uh‚ anyone wants to help out‚ my venmo and paypal are the same name as my username here#I've not really talked about it but we've kinda been fucked a bit with expensive things popping up a lot lately#(mostly car stuff and allergy testing for Little Miss)#if not‚ i totally understand#we'll squeak by regardless#i always find a way
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People in blue states who make fun of red states piss me off so much because you are no better than us. We are the exact same and you do not get to make jokes about us being a "lost cause." This is my home. There are good people here. You do not get to sit in your all blue state with your democrat representatives and senators and laugh at us while we struggle. We're on the same fucking side and I will be damned if I give up and leave my home.
#ivy.txt#cw politics#'just leave if it's so bad' first of all moving is really fucking expensive#second of all what if I don't want to? I was born in Utah. I've spent most of my life in Utah. my family lives here. I don't want to leave#because of shit like this. this will always be my home and yall can badmouth us and make shitty jokes all you want but there are people here#real fucking people and not just republicans you so desperately want to see suffer#and news flash asshole: those republicans shouldn't have to suffer either just because you want to feel vindicated so badly
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Companies using """"""""AI"""""""" chatbots in place of customer service (usually with a veneer of pretending you are actually speaking to a real person, which might not be so immediately obvious to more tech illiterate people) pisses me off so bad because they are just SO fundamentally useless. The only information it can tell you is information more efficiently communicated with a FAQ page, and information that is Wrong because current chatbot technology is, in fact, not even slightly 'intelligent' and pretty damn bad at giving accurate answers to anything but the simplest questions.
Like there's no point to it besides hoping onto the flashy artificial 'intelligence' gimmick and paying for less customer service work hours, and so many companies will not only have this feature but make their actual customer service prohibitively difficult to find (and usually involving a labyrinth of automated phone menu systems that you have to navigate correctly in order to get to a person). Makes me want to kill.
#Attempting to navigate support for Uber drivers (not as a customer but like as someone who is fucking working for the company)#is one of the most hellish experiences I have ever had#Because their easily accessible 'driver help' feature is a chatbot and their phone system probably qualifies as a form of torture#Literally you have to figure out the correct sequence of answers to get to a human by trial and error and it will hang up on you if you hit#any number of automated 'dead ends'#There was one time I didn't get paid for a really expensive delivery because the fucking app kept crashing and it's like they're under#the impression that their shitty fucking app is just Too Functional for that to be a potential problem so you have to outright lie to#the phone system to get to a human about this particular issue#Was pacing on the sidewalk for at least 45 minutes feeling the most homicidal I have ever felt in my life before I finally managed#to get to a human and then the answer was 'we can't help you' which like. Yeah#Yeah you can't can you. Yea
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sometimes i like to hc young trevanion with a superbly terrible bowl cut. like ages infant through 20 anytime he needed a trim he'd go home and his mum would get the bowl out. he just walked around like that his whole life. and bartolina still fell in love with him
#of course like any trevanion hc you hit twenty & immediately start screaming crying throwing up#something about baby trevanion with the too intense eye contact autism & laser fucking focus on what he thinks is right at the expense#of um. noticeable social skills is so appealing to me. & then of course you get to think about the drastic personality shift. which isn't#really text necessarily but is a personal preference for me. & he indicated this to everyone via the bowl->buzz shift#ohh. we could do this prison scene with carles & noticeably overlong hair on trev because he's still stuck there. he hasn't quite adapted#to that hole in his life yet#(yes this means he was fully married & moved out still going home for the trim. if it ain't broke don't fix it. & the routine is nice)
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i hate my landlords so much
#fuck these guys for real#'yes we're selling the house. no you can't move out until the end of your tenancy. no we won't tell you exactly when we're selling it'#never mind the fact she said that i could leave whenever i needed to when i first moved in#i didn't trust the 'nice' act for a second and here's why#now i'm going to have to wait for months to look for somewhere new. and possibly NOT find anything#because everything here is immediate or very early move in. and then not have anywhere to live or have to live somewhere too expensive#i was optimistic for like two days because i was like oh yay i'll just look for somewhere new now because i want to live alone again#and get a cat#no :| ruined it :| thanks landlords :|#and now one of my flatmates is leaving and we're getting a new person so i'm going to have the worst time of my life again#i'm so pissed off i'm about to like angry cry
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