#is a VERY involved process

[shadelorde]

okay so I saw someone say celiac disease isn’t a disability because ‘all you have to do is avoid gluten’ and I. I’m about to lose my shit.

are you not fucking aware of how much gluten is present in everyday life? Are you not aware how mild cross-contamination can KILL people with celiac? Are you not aware how some kids are raised EATING GLUTEN, IRREVERSIBLY destroying their immune system and the lining of their stomach because their parents didn’t know or didn’t bother to find out what was wrong?

You can help mitigate the effects of some disabilities by doing certain things, but that doesn’t make them NOT disabilities.

Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder. It is not the same as a mild intolerance. It can and will destroy your stomach and intestines.

Jesus fucking Christ.

[myclericalromance]

i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.

[vaguely-concerned]

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content. 

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* —  up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug. 

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were. 

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro 

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

[obsob]

looking at videos and pics of peoples pretty sketchbooks always makes me feel weird. so here is what my Perfectly Ordinary sketchbook looks like, that i maybe draw in once every 10 days (if that!) :3

[clamoridoll]

why is mattel so allergic to giving their dolls curly natural hair

[commsroom]

let's kill hilbert is a great hera and minkowski episode in how well it displays some of the best and worst of their dynamic (and highlights the source of their ongoing miscommunication.)

"i'm doing the best i can here, so just, please, try to sound a little less patronizing?" / "i'm not being patronizing, i'm being critical." sums up the disconnect: that what minkowski sees as professional criticism and an attempt to combat future problems, hera takes as a personal attack. ultimately, minkowski's suggestions to lighten her burden are well-meaning and closer to what hera needs than any faith in her ability to do her job (there are things she can't do, and things she shouldn't have to), but she's been made to believe her worth as a person - and her continued survival - hangs in the balance. and so, the scene that leads to that one, where minkowski takes the navigation controls from hera: "no, it's fine! i can -" / "i don't care what you can, give me the controls right now." stands out for the wording used, the different things that are meant by it, and what it reinforces for hera: i can't do this. i'm not good enough.

it makes sense that the resolution, where minkowski tells hera, "you are the smartest person i've ever met, hera; focus that intelligence [...]" is one of the moments she thinks of at the end of memoria. because it's a turning point for their relationship, because it's a show of trust ("i trust you" coming very shortly after "i need to know that i can trust you."), because it's a show of respect and the only moment in the entire show where someone refers to hera by rank, but also...

i think there's something to be said for how minkowski's voice at the end of memoria is a direct expression of belief in hera's abilities, while eiffel's "use the force, luke" shows that what hera values about eiffel is... well, eiffel, but i think it's also true that both of these things show something about communication. they show hera's understanding of eiffel and minkowski's unique communication styles, what they say and what they mean by it, and that shows what they mean to her.

"you are the smartest person i know, hera" (a slight alteration from the original line that has a ton of implications re: context and memory) isn't really about her intelligence, or even her ability. contextually, it's a direct counterstatement to "i don't care what you can" and, by association, and through their connection - minkowski's voice becomes, quite literally, like eiffel's, another voice in her head counteracting what pryce has made hera believe about herself.

[laundryandtaxes]

I think that comparisons between access to prescribed stimulants and medications like insulin are categorically inappropriate, and I will personally hand to anyone a card to mock people making that comparison. However, today I called Walgreens to ask whether they'd gotten Adderall in (because I called last Wednesday and they were out of stock, and I know from having experienced this multiple times over multiple months that they get new shipments on Wednesdays) and the woman on the phone told me they were out of the generic (which my prescriber only began prescribing because the name brand was out of stock) and that the name brand would be $326 unconvered, but that my insurance would cover a 5 mg dose, which, due to the laws around schedule 1 substances, means I would have to call my prescriber to have them resend the Rx to the phamracy, but this time for 3x daily 5 mg capsules. And I just said thank you and hung up but inside I was like ma'am, I know it isn't your fault but this is actually exactly what one would cook up if the intention was to torture a person via the process of accessing their stimulant prescription.

[rooniper]

Finally finished The Week Before today and I’m actively vibrating, like I honestly might post an entire essay about it sometime if I get to it because I already have two pages worth of notes and so many thoughts, there’s just so much to talk about

It’s just?? So good?? Like it has so much heart and soul put into it?? You can really tell the writers tried to flesh Phone Guy out, he’s such a fun point of view character (to be fair, I was already attached to him, but I bet if I knew nothing about him I’d feel very similarly about it). Coppelia is also just a really good addition, their interactions are so sweet and also surprisingly funny at times (no spoilers but there’s a specific high-tension scene at the very end of one of the routes in which the dialogue between them actually made me laugh out loud). It’s honestly just also funny in general, it’s got that FNAF absurdity humor down so perfectly, but also the more dramatic and/or sad scenes are also executed so well?? And and and

I’m just

[mxtxfanatic]

Book of the Week: Transmigrating Into The Heartthrob's Cannon Fodder Childhood Friend

Author: This Concubine Is In Shanyang (妾在山阳)

Genre: transmigration, high school setting, danmei

Rating: T (despite Xie Sui’s best attempts 😔)

My Synopsis: If you’ve ever wondered how someone can play both bully and victim, look no further than Song Yu, our transmigrating main character who’s first instinct when faced with conflict is ✨violence✨ while his second is calling the cops, as he fights against his system to befriend and protect the reborn blackbelly protagonist-turned-love interest, Xie Sui, from a slew of dickwad suitors. Watch as Song Yu threatens to take on the whole damn world if he has to in order to keep Xie Sui single while Xie Sui just wonders whether he’ll even get a turn to enact his revenge on his foes without interception, thank you very much.

My Actual Review: The moment Song Yu walked into a room and immediately tried to brain an antagonist with a bottle of alcohol without so much as a “by your leave,” I was hooked. I think this is the first cnovel I’ve read where the MC’s first solution to a problem is just his hands 😭 Song Yu’s name can be found in the dictionary as an example of the word “tyrant.” But don’t worry! He’s only a harbinger of pain towards those who mess with the innocent and his loved ones (plus Xie Sui totally thinks it’s hot that this short king fights his battles for him). And for all of his violence, Song Yu’s goodness and persistence draws in both reader and LI, translating into an especially soft romance to counteract Xie Sui’s tragic romantic history. The drama and comedy tastefully interwoven into the high school setting makes for a lovely and moderately gripping read without becoming too stressful.

While the translation is currently incomplete, I finished it with an mtl and it was fine. However, it is still currently being translated and is almost finished, so if you want to wait for completion, that’s fine too.

Translations: currently incomplete

Dummy Novels: unlocked, last updated Sept. 2023:

Foxaholic: locked (though password available), still currently updating:

https://www.foxaholic.com/novel/transmigrating-into-the-heartthrobs-cannon-fodder-childhood-friend/

[serpentface]

man your work is so cool- how'd you learn to draw so many different species? do you have a background in biology or anything like that?

Thanks. I probably have as much of a background in biology as anyone without an actual biology related degree or line of work can claim (lifelong obsession + volunteering + some classes + several biology residencies + tons of time in the outdoors) but not really

It's mostly the autism like I spend a lot of my time learning about a massive spectrum of Nature Related Topics and mostly read science nonfiction so I have a pretty solid knowledge foundation on which to realistically construct new things (same goes for ancient/pre-modern era history, same sort of shit). I've also been drawing animals all my life and have a probably? above average learned sense of how the anatomy of most groups work and how certain features work and etc (I've got a lot of weak points though like bird wings are difficult. Like I get how they're laid out but translating that accurately into how they look folded is kinda beyond me without referencing).

I do use references, usually not for poses (unless they're particularly difficult) but like to realistically translate a concept. If I have 'large semiaquatic rodent with a vertically flattened tail that spends a lot of time on land, feeds as a browser, chews and carries sticks to build a lodge, digs canals between waterways' as a concept, I'm referencing a variety of semiaquatic rodents in ways that make sense (it's going to be more cursorial than a beaver but probably not as much of a capybara, so it will still be plantigrade, it needs to have strong legs for digging, its tail should be fairly large to be the primary propelling limb in water but not large enough to severely impede land based momentum, it feeds more like a muskrat or beaver than a capybara so it's jaw orientation should be along those lines, it should have fairly highset eyes, ears, nostrils, its semi-aquatic and not a huge animal so it should have a solid fur coat to trap heat, but its environment is fairly warm year round so its coat should reflect that, etc). It's more of a complicated process if I'm doing something that wholly does not Exist (like we have plenty of semi-aquatic rodents but we do not have flightless aquatic pterosaurs) but same concept, just referencing things that exist to construct things that don't exist in a fairly believable manner.

[mariocki]

Doctor X (1932)

"If you ask me, I think Dr. Xavier is using very unethical methods."

"Necessity has no ethics, sir."

[magentagalaxies]

congrats on the end of uni 🥳🥳🥳

thank you!! i'm celebrating by staying up until 3am to accidentally write a long ass post about KITH: tour of duty lmao

[lotussokka]

the idea that jc is the main character of mdzs is so nonsensical its almost laughable to me honestly. he couldve been /a/ main character if mxtx had focused the narration around both wwx and him. it wouldve changed the story to be the tale of two brothers instead of being primarily a love story but all the components of the existing story couldve remained intact as one half of a two sided story. however even then he wouldve been one of two main characters. ive thought quite a bit about it over the years since i read mdzs and i cannot think of any way to tell the events of the story with jc as Thee Main Character™. the main plot is driven by solving a mystery that jc had a passing knowledge of, at best, so even if mxtx had focused the pov entirely around jc the way she did wwx, it would be debatable if he was actually the main protagonist or if he functioned as an outsider pov to the main events. i mean that wouldve been an incredibly interesting choice and i wouldve had sooooo many Thoughts about how he’s barely the protagonist in his own story, but thats not the choice mxtx made

[marshmalleaux-queen]

look man i don't go here

[sapphosewrites]

garashir bad ending

(This was inspired by asking myself what I thought Julian would not forgive)

"I fail to see what you find so upsetting."

"Do you really?"

"You knew who I was when you married me."

"You're right. I agreed to marry a paranoid ex-spy with no respect for his husband's privacy or boundaries. My patients didn't."

"I didn't harm your patients."

"You cannot possibly believe that I would excuse your extremely illegal and highly unethical accessing of hospital files, tracking down my patients, and interrogating them because you have this ridiculous idea that I've been hiding an affair from you."

"It was hardly an interrogation. When I was in the Obsidian Order-"

"I want a divorce, Garak. Oh, so that's what shuts you up, is it? I mean it. You've absolutely crossed the line. You've destroyed my professional integrity and quite possibly the hospital's reputation. People need to be able to trust us in order to receive care, and you've jeopardized that. You've compromised the healing of people who know exactly what kind of interrogating you did in the Obsidian Order, and are terrified to be on the receiving end of it again. If you've convinced yourself I'm fucking someone else and lying to you about it, fine, I figured out that you were never going to trust I love you. But you don't do this. You go and- and- I don't know, call Ezri on subspace and ask for a counseling session or get drunk and read terrible poetry or blow up your damn shop again. You can self-sabotage as much as you like, and you've shown very well that I'm powerless to stop you. But you do not get to sabotage my patients."

"If I apologized..."

"Was that unfinished sentence your idea of an apology?"

"My dear, I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are! I'm sure you'll go and wallow in self-loathing and enjoy it very much, but that can't be how this works, Garak. I shouldn't have to ask for a divorce in order for you to admit you did something wrong. If this is what our marriage is going to be now, then I... I can't, Garak. I don't know what it is that would help you, but whatever it is, I can't provide it."

[bleaksqueak]

lol due to the pose of this tarot card i'm being forced to draw the front facing panel of the reaper uniform completely by hand for the first time in (probably two years now...hahahaha) oh, assets, you are great and wonderful and save me so much time Until not even Warp and Transform can lift you high enough. Then I must replicate these complicated designs Wholly Anew. like some sort of "art" "doer" (I hate that I have to add this disclaimer but this is the hell world we live in: the assets in question are ones I painted by hand at flat angles with the intent to be used over and over again. like a shoujo transformation sequence. it's not Aye-Eye BS or anything of the sort) with that disclaimer out of the way.... at the very least it means I can save the flats for this specific pose and thus it can then be re-used later when the comic will inevitably call for it. WORK SMART! WORK ART SMRT