#because it's exhausting
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High empathy autism vs low empathy autism ngl
#I genuinely wish I was more on the lower empathy side of the autism spectrum sometimes#because it's EXHAUSTING#ive had moment like Laios here#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon
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Going to vent in the tags, feel free to ignore. Or interact I guess if you're so inclined
#tw vent#tw sa mention#tw sa#sa mention#it's weird acknowledging that i was sa'd in high school by someone a year older than me#i kept/keep denying that it was sa since it wasnt as bad as it could have been#but im trying to be more open with myself about it and accept it for what it is#i was held against my will by a “friend” in high school#who knew i was interested in someone else and they forced me to kiss them multiple times#touched down the side of my dress#wouldnt let me leave#held me against them and kept repeating over and over again that it was okay- what they were doing#so i feel like that affected me somewhat- logically I knew it wasn't okay but because it was repeated so much in that moment#part of me wanted to believe it#my parents still dont know what happened that night - just that i wanted to get picked up early#i went to one adult i trusted but when i confided in him- he just spouted bible bullshit at me instead of helping me get help#i went to an adult and he failed me#my inner teen is still hurt by all of this and i really hope that at some point I'm able to heal from this#because it's exhausting
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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will the hunger ever end
#tma#the magnus archives#my art#jonathan sims#the eye#horror#kinda vent because i've been really exhausted lately#inspired by being so tired you're not seeing text anymore it's just scribbles and scribbles and unrecognizable splashes of ink#and my eyesight is getting bad too#i'm not doing good at the end of this semester really.........
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I was curious about what my wage and time, plus materials, would bring the cost of a foundation paper pieced and handquilted king size quilt to...and...
Okay, anyone willing to pay this amount will be enough to convince to make something this...outrageous. it'll close commissions for a year or two, and require frequent breaks so I don't burnout.
$23,800 USD.
$27× 900 hours + cost of materials (batting alone will be around $100 for high quality, 25 yards of fabric will be about what i need, i'll kill several rotary blades with all the cutting, and likely go through at least two spools of thread) = final cost
That amount of money will be what it takes to convince me to make this. If you're willing to pay for one of these now, hmu. I'll make the listing.
If you want just a king size quilt top, that's still $6150 USD. I'll need around 25 yards of fabric, a couple spools of thread (or a cone), and two to three rotary blades. This will take around 200 hours for traditional piecing. Foundation paper piecing will add another 100-200 hours easily because I have to print each section of each block, cut them out, fold along the seam lines, cut all the fabric, sew the fabric to the paper, press each seam, trim, rinse and repeat many times, sew the blocks together, remove the paper (sooooo many pieces), make the rows, and sew the rows together. So foundation paper piecing will bring the top to $11,650. For just the quilt top.
If you're 100% certain you want a king size quilt, and you're able to pay, let me know. I'll put the commission listing up for you, and promptly close commissions until further notice.
Money is good incentive.
#words from the artist#disabling reblogs because this is still making my notifications explode and it's exhausting
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Arcanegifs' Arcane Season 2 (2024) Character Poll 2nd Place: Caitlyn Kiramman ↳ "I am a decorated officer. Leader of House Kiramman. Address me with respect, or keep your mouth shut."
#hello once again good luck to your phones (tumblr desktop reigns supreme lol)#they can never make me hate you cait; she's so beautiful and IM SO WEAK FOR HERRRRRRRRRRRRR RAHHHHHHHHHHHH#arcane#arcaneedit#arcane league of legends#league of legends arcane#caitlyn#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane caitlyn#arcane season 2#arcane s2#league of legends#arcane netflix#type: gif#media: arcane#s2 ep1#s2 ep3#s2 ep4#s2 ep5#s2 ep6#s2 ep8#s2 ep9#also you guys im really exhausted from making 60 gifs in two days so..... i'll try to finish vik tomorrow but if i cant im going to take#a break or else i'll just get giga burnt out because even with cait/vi gifs i got so tired (which almost never happens if its gifs of them)
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ace detective more like ace DEFECTIVE
#I HATE THIS BITCH SM HES GENUINELY SO FUN TO DRAW FOR NO REASON 😭😭😭😭#bro idk if the first one makes sense to anyone else. 😔 get it cause like akechi is in the siu so he techincally works for the government 😔#i finished shido's palace again and cried like a bitch because of him so im back to drawing persona again im so sorry everyone#my brother deleted persona from the steamdeck i play on and idk how to redownload it so i cant touch the game until christmas now 🫶🏼#i drew a lot over break actually i've just been going back and coloring a few of the sketches i did#idk how ppl draw everyday aren't u exhausted 😭#anyway hope faggotron 6000 dies in the royal version too i can't stand him#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#akechi goro#UHHHH ren is here so i'll tag him#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#lotus draws#goodnight everyone im so tired#i need winter break to come faster.........
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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#i used to be a lil more patient with it and ask like. why do you use *your* pronouns? you like em. right? but ive realized that explaining#myself over and over to ppl who (for the most part) will continue to not understand is exhausting#so. nyways. im gonna start linking people who ask this post#i use it/its for lots and lots of reasons but the one You need to know is because I Want To#anyways! hi! hello! i'm mostly moved in and the bugs are mostly dealt with#posts will be mainly comm work and lil mspaint doodlies for the time being#but#helllooooooo#:03 its been awhileee#oc: cow#fursona#mspaint mouse doodlie
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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˚₊‧ ⊰ ⸸ ⊱ ‧₊˚
#⛪.images#⛪.spilled blood#trauma memes#actually traumatized#trauma holder#actually mentally ill#actually bpd#actually borderline#mentally fucked#mental illness#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#tagging for reach#because i need attention :<#mentally unstable#mentally exhausted#post traumatic stress disorder#anger holder#actually traumagenic#ventcore#vent meme#ragecore#angercore#bpd#bpd vent#bpd meme#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#hell is a teenage girl
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coming out as a "Will snores obnoxiously loud" and "Nico breaths so quietly you can barely tell hes alive" truther
#LISTEN OKAY. WILL WORKS CRAZY HOURS. EXHAUSTS HIMSELF PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY#hes going to snore. really loud. as soon as he hits the pillow.#its not uncommon for even people who dont snore! that i know anyways.#happened to family members of mine who dont usually snore#also additionally nico sleeps like a corpse so it works out for both of them#i think personally nico is usually like 3/4's awake but once his body actually lets him rest? out. gone.#sleep deprived x also sleep deprived for different reasons#also on a different note (slightly) i feel like will just grabs nico sometime in the middle of the night like hes his teddy bear#nico is lets himself get dragged into wills arms because he too. is completely and utterly asleep#solangelo#nico di angelo#will solace#the sun and the star#rrverse#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo
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Pain's Like Cold Water Your Brain Just Gets Used To It
No Complaints - Noah Kahan/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/Ask Polly: Help I'm The Loneliest Person In The World - Heather Havrilesky/Ladybird (2017)/Tennessee Williams/unknown/No Complaints - Noah Kahan/Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)/Ask Polly: Help I'm The Loneliest Person In The World - Heather Havrilesky/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/No Complaints - Noah Kahan/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/Unknown/Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)/'Ectesy' - Georges Bataille/Warsan Shire/Ladybird (2017)/How to Cure a Ghost - Fariha Róisín/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/No Complaints - Noah Kahan
#listen#i made this because i was sad yeah#im exhausted anyway#but i love the way this is structured as a repeating thing#it's the inverse of each other#everything is just repeating#again and again and again#there is is again that funny feeling#i saw the end it looked like the middle#and again#also it's all grey#devoid of color#it worked#anyway#web weave#web weaving#quotes#words#noah kahan#bo burnham#the perks of being a wallflower#ladybird
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I don't care about data scraping from ao3 (or tbh from anywhere) because it's fair use to take preexisting works and transform them (including by using them to train an LLM), which is the entire legal basis of how the OTW functions.
#really tired of seeing posts warning people to archive lock their works to protect against scraping#information wants to be free and that includes your second person reader insert#you are of course welcome to archive lock the works#that's a function of ao3 for a reason#but the anti-scraping attitude is exhausting because it tells me#that the broad understanding of 'fair use' is dismal#which is depressing coming from the userbase of a site that is totally reliant on fair use
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I told you I never stop thinking about merpearl
#I want there to be more yuri kiss art. There isnt enough. I guess I have to be the change I want. whaagh#I think Pearl is too awkward and clueless and horrified (because DL) to actually just kiss Gem like this (at least for awhile) but#mermaid pearl is built different. Still clueless though#I am so exhausted and I have much more important things to draw but Im sorry I had yuri in my system and I needed to get it out desperately#gempearl#shiny duo#hermitshipping#tubby art
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