#i went to one adult i trusted but when i confided in him- he just spouted bible bullshit at me instead of helping me get help

[eternalknoxy]

Going to vent in the tags, feel free to ignore. Or interact I guess if you're so inclined

[designernishiki]

I feel like whatever was going on with majima/mirei/katsuya in the early 90s was some sort of complicated bisexual love triangle situation. like majima is majima and katsuya’s handsome and eloquent and absolutely doesn’t seem straight to me, but on top of that it feels like there was some sort of confusing tension between katsuya and mirei, not sure if it was romantic or one-sided or what but. SOMETHING. I don’t know what the hell was going on with those three really but no way in hell do I believe the romantic/sexual/??? depth ends with majima and mirei

[tj-is-down]

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (Tyler Owens x Reader)

Back again with another random fic for y'all. This is not proofread, so don't hate me!

Summary: Tyler and the reader have been on and off "together" for years now, keeping it secret. Until, suddenly, one of them decides they might want more.

Word count: ~2.1k

Warnings: None except some swearing, and reader is described femininely in this one.

Here’s the thing about Humble Creek: everybody knows everybody. A small town made up of just under five thousand, there was nothing that anybody could do in secret, because if one person knew, then it was just as if they’d taken a bullhorn and announced it to the entire town.

Which made Y/N’s life all the harder. See, she did have a secret, and although it hadn’t gotten out yet, its secrecy was held in the hands of a monster. A tyrant, a tool, a pain-in-the-ass douchebag with a cowboy hat and a Texas accent.

Tyler Owens.

Y/N had known he was trouble since they were kids. Growing up on rival ranches, they were destined to be enemies, and even more so, to blur the lines. Y/N had never trusted him. Not because their families were constantly fighting, as she believed everybody deserved their own chance to prove themself, but because he had fucked his up, royally. 

In elementary school, middle school, high school, Tyler was always the talk of the town. Always with a girl on his arm, Tyler was confident, and everybody else was just putty in his hands. Y/N told herself she didn’t understand what people saw in him. 

She lied.

It started in eighth grade, when Tyler showed up in a too-big tux and a bouquet of flowers he’d handpicked from his family’s garden.

“You wanna go to the dance?” He asked, grinning cockily. Even then he knew how to charm, before he even knew what charm was.

Y/N’s dad had said no, absolutely no way, but Y/N was in her rebellious phase and so this only pushed her to say yes. She went out right then, in her mud-stained t-shirt and jeans, and they’d walked to the school together at seven p.m. and walked home together at nine. He’d kissed her cheek goodnight and she’d wiped it off, embarrassed.

“You’re annoying, Owens.”

“And you’re pretty, L/N.”

On the next Monday he came to school with Cherry Lee.

Y/N tried to be mad. She tried to hate Tyler, to swear that she’d never talk to him or think about him or even look at him ever again. But two months later, when Tyler and Cherry broke up, he’d knocked on her door when he knew her parents weren’t home and, against her better judgment, she’d let him inside.

They’d been on-and-off “together” ever since.

Now, Tyler wasn’t single for long intervals, usually just a couple of weeks here and there, and he would never cheat, nor would Y/N let herself become a homewrecker (no matter how fragile the relationship), but when Tyler showed up on her doorstep, bouquet in hands and that look in his eyes, she knew she couldn’t say no. 

She was an adult now, but still, she couldn’t resist those eyes. Tyler had been single since before leaving for college, and when he came back it was like he’d never left. Sure, now he had a truck, a big name, a crew, and a YouTube channel, but he still had those eyes, and his family still had a garden with a never-ending supply of flowers.

He showed up on her door one morning, after her parents had left for church.

“Can I help you?” She asked, opening the door. As always, a t-shirt and jeans, dirty from the morning’s work on the farm.

“You’re not at church?”

“You knew I wouldn’t be.”

“Well, maybe the two and I can practice praying on our own? I think the first step is kneeling down; you wanna start?”

Y/N went to close the door, but Tyler’s hand reached out to prop it open.

“Come on, Darlin’,” he said, laying the accent on thick. “You want to go for a drive? I’ll buy you a coffee.”

“Hold the coffee,” she said, walking past him. “I’d rather not have anyone see us together.”

He grabbed her waist and stood behind her, kissing her neck. “We’ve been doing this for years, babe. No one’s gonna find out, I promise.”

She leaned her head towards him, breathing in the scent of firewood mixed with his cologne. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“You gettin’ sappy on me?” He asked. Though his voice was soft, she could feel his smirk.

“Nope.” She pulled out of his grasp and got into the passenger seat of his truck. “We going, or are you just gonna stand there looking all doe-eyed?”

“For you, I’d stand here all day, sweetheart.”

“Just get in the car, Romeo.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

*** 

They drove for a while, to the outskirts of town, when Tyler stopped the truck and leaned over. He kissed her lips, hard and slow, putting his hand on the back of her neck to pull her closer. She reciprocated, holding his bicep, moving her mouth in tandem with his and letting herself fall into him.

“Why are you being so love-y today?” She asked after they separated.

“I can’t show my girl some love?”

“Is that what I am? ‘Your girl’?”

He shrugged. “Is that so bad?”

“You’re annoying, Owens.” She pushed his shoulder.

He mock-pushed her back as he said, “You’re pretty, L/N.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Seriously, though, there is something I wanted to talk to you about—”

Y/N scoffed. “Are you about to ask me out?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Okay, good.”

“Would that be so bad of me?”

“Kinda.” Y/N breathed a laugh, but when she saw Tyler’s face, serious and a little upset, she stopped. “I mean, it’s not like we have the best thing going on here anyways, and I just don’t want to be—” She paused, about to say heartbroken, or used, or a placeholder for when you find someone better, but Tyler cut her off.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He started the truck, engine roaring to life. “It was dumb, nevermind. I’ll take you home.”

“Tyler, you know what I meant—”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re just messing around, right? That’s all this is, just messing around.”

He didn’t say another word on the ride home. 

He dropped her off, barely waiting for her to shut the truck door before he drove away.

***

Tyler didn’t answer any of Y/N’s calls or texts for the next few days. Y/N was upset, barely leaving her room checking her phone obsessively for any sign of Tyler Owens. She even started watching his YouTube channel, but there hadn’t been any uploads for over a month. Nothing on Instagram or Facebook, either.

Her mother yelled up the stairs to her one night, calling her down.

“That’s what you’re wearing?” Her mom said upon seeing Y/N.

“This is what I always wear. Why?” Y/N was suddenly self conscious, confused as to why her parents cared what she wore in the house.

“Tonight’s the fair,” her mother responded, attempting to jog her memory.

“You’re helping us run our booth?” Her father tried.

“Ah, shit,” Y/N mumbled, remembering. “Do I have to go? I totally forgot.”

“Of course you have to go!” Her father said. “We need the three of us there; it’s a family ranch, remember?”

“Besides,” her mother added. “The Owens’s will be there. We can’t let them get a leg up on us! If you’re not there, Tyler will be running the show for sure.”

“Well, maybe not,” her father said. “He’s doing the kissing booth, remember?”

“The what?” Y/N said. “Tyler’s doing a kissing booth?”

Her father nodded. “To raise funds for his family’s ranch. He and his whole ‘team’ will be there, whatever they’re called.”

Y/N paused for a moment, trying to wrap her head around it all. Was that what Tyler was trying to talk to her about the other day? The kissing booth? But why would it matter what Y/N thought about it?

Her mother ushered her up the stairs. “For Pete’s sake, change into something nice, and quickly!”

Oh, shit.

***

The Humble Creek Fair was bustling with energy. People from nearby towns came to see what it was all about, and it was always the most popular time of year.

Y/N sat at her family’s booth, eyes peeled for Tyler. She kept checking her phone to see if he’d answered, but when she didn’t get any notifications she decided to take matters into her own hands.

“I’m going for a walk,” she said to her parents.

They both nodded, and her father added, “Make sure to see how the Owens’ booth is doing. I want to make sure we’ll still be in business next year.”

Y/N looked around for the kissing booth, and when she saw a long line of women, she followed it to the front. She walked around to the back of the attraction, but didn’t see Tyler anywhere. It wasn’t until she’d nearly given up entirely when she heard a voice behind her.

“What are you wearing?”

She whisked around, coming face-to-face with Tyler, who was holding some sort of weird meat on a stick.

“What are you eating?”

“Pork leg, fried and marinated in pickle juice,” he said, shrugging. “I’m hoping it’ll make my breath smell bad so less people come up. Now, back to you.”

“What about me?”

“You’re wearing a dress. You never wear dresses. ‘Jeans and a t-shirt, that’s me,’” he says, doing a poor impression of her.

“I don’t sound like that.”

“Yes you do, but that’s besides the point. What’s your deal?”

Y/N shrugged uncomfortably. “I wanted to, I guess.”

Tyler looked at her dead-on. “You look nice, Y/N.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ve been texting you for days. No response. But now that I’m here, all I get is, ‘I look nice’?” 

“What else do you want from me?”

“An answer, Tyler. What’s your deal? Why didn’t you tell me about the kissing booth?”

“I tried to, but then you came at me with all that ‘this is a bad idea’ crap, and I figured you didn’t want me to tell you. Or you didn’t care if I told you or not.”

“Okay, so—”

“Wait.” He stops her. “Do you care?”

Y/N kicks the ground. “If I did?”

“If you did,” he said, stepping closer to her. “I’d drop the pork leg and kiss you.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I’d eat the pork leg, and I’d kiss a bunch of people who aren’t you, and I’d feel like shit about it.” He took another step closer to her, nearly closing the gap between them. “Please say you care.”

“Ugh,” she scoffed. “You’re gonna make me say it? You can’t just, like, infer from the situation?”

“I’m really bad at inferring things,” he said, a cocky grin on his face. “So, I’m gonna need to hear you say it.”

“You’re annoying, Owens.”

“You’re pretty, L/N. Like, so pretty. But I do need to hear you say it, and I’m also gonna need you to—”

“I care, Tyler. Now shut up and kiss me, or I’m gonna take it back.”

“Can’t take it back, babe. It’s set in stone.”

In one fluid motion, he dropped the pork leg, grabbed Y/N by the waist with his other hand, and pulled her into a kiss. It was deep and passionate, not like any of the other times they’ve kissed. They kept it going for as long as they can, holding their breath until they couldn’t anymore, and then they pulled apart, gasping for air with their foreheads touching.

“Will you go out with me?” He asked her, still struggling for air. “Like, on a real date, not just driving in the truck?”

“I guess,” Y/N said, teasingly. “If I have to.”

“I mean, you don’t have to. But if you do, I’m gonna need you to wear this again.” He grabbed her and pulled her closer to him, if that’s even possible. “Because, if I’m being honest, L/N, this is the hottest I’ve ever seen you. Like, I didn’t think you could get hotter, but here we are. Speaking of, can we go? I really want to go somewhere with you. Like, privately.” He winked at her, and she scoffed, rolling her eyes again.

“Don’t you need to raise money for your farm?” She asked him, gesturing to the booth behind them.

“Fuck the farm,” he said. “Save a horse, ride a cowboy, yeah?”

“Fuck off,” she said, pulling him into another kiss.

“Seriously though, can we go?”

[arlos-warm-drpepper]

When I think Derek Hale I think insecurity. Unstable. Unhinged. Derek Hale.

I don’t think “got his shit together” at all!! So in this Ted talk I will explain why I prefer when authors write him as the insecure one, and Stiles as the secure one.

Derek Hale was 19. Truly he was a kid in charge of a bunch of slightly younger kids. A kid who hadn’t had any responsible adult in his life since he was 15 (16?) y/o. I do not know how you can look at this kid and think “oh yeah he’s got his shit together”

The guy who went around biting teenagers the second he became an alpha with NO hesitation. As if that was a totally rational and responsible decision to make. The guy who fell for any woman who gave him the slightest attention. Even if they were evilness.

Because ultimately Derek just wanted someone. A pack. A family. Whether that was in the form of a bunch of teenage werewolves (teen wolfs full name hurhur) or an evil girlfriend. He just needed SOMEONE. Because he was lonely. He was lonely and insecure and probably felt like everything he touched went wrong. Because it did!!! And he probably hated himself for that. Probably blamed himself for everything. For Paige (even though that was peters fault), for Kate (Kates fault. Grown ass woman), for Boyd and Erica (NOT DEREKS FAULT!!!), for everything. Hell, probably even for Laura. And it doesn’t help that Scott and Stiles ALSO blamed him for Laura at first.

Stiles on the other hand, he was pretty secure. Sure, at first he was a little insecure when Scott had just became a werewolf and he felt a little less-than. But he got over that quickly. Over it enough that he rejected Peters offer for the bite. He was hard headed, stubborn, and smart. And he knew he was smart. He knew what he had, his skills. He trusted his instincts ten times out’ve ten. He was secure with himself. He knew when something was off, and he was persistent in trying to get everyone else to listen to him. Because if everyone just listened to him, they would be fine. Because ten times out’ve ten, he was RIGHT!!! And he knew it!!! And he was secure enough with himself to go after the most popular girl in school, despite her having a boyfriend (which I NEVER even questioned the morals of, because he didn’t. Because he seemed so sure in that decision. Because he was SECURE in himself!!!)

Derek Hale might have been aware that he was beautiful on the outside, but that doesn’t mean he was secure within himself. That man is filled to the brim with guilt. Guilt over things that aren’t even his fault. There’s no way he doesn’t absolutely hate himself.

Stiles might have guilt over void, but he knows that wasn’t him. That he tried everything to stop void. He knows he isn’t a killer, and that everything he’s done has been for the greater good. He is secure in every decision he makes. And I know that because that’s practically what he told Scott. Some people are human, some people have to get their hands a little dirty sometimes. He knows that. He is secure in that thought process.

Stiles Stilinski is secure, hard headed, persistent. Derek Hale is insecure, unstable, and uncertain. These are facts. So why are you all writing it the opposite???? I don’t want it the opposite. I want Derek to be pathetic and wet. I want Stiles to be fucking confident, assured, SOLID. Because that’s what Derek needs. He needs someone solid, because he hasn’t had that since he was 15. He deserves that.

[waughymommy]

MOMMY KNOWS BEST 💕

Chapter 16

Progress was coming along nicely in the nursery. So far, Rebecca had successfully kept him from seeing the room’s transformation. She was confident that it would be ready for the big reveal on Friday. Brian also seemed to progressing with the hypnotic conditioning. She planned on really testing his suggestibility after she showed him his new nursery.

She wondered how Brian was faring at work. I wonder if Samantha has revealed our conversation yet. Speak of the devil. Her phone buzzed with a text from Samantha:

            Good morning. I wanted you to know that your baby boy soaked his diapers right in front of me. You have done such an amazing job regressing him.

            Rebecca: Oh I am so happy. I can’t thank you enough for your help. I feel so much better that he has someone to watch over him at work.

            Samantha: It’s really no problem. He is just precious when he is little. You must let me babysit him at home sometime.

            Rebecca: I think that can be arranged.

            Samantha: I never in my wildest dreams imagined changing a grown man’s diapers. But now that I have, I think if I ever get a man of my own, he will have to return to diapers.

Rebecca smiled. Not only had she gotten her baby, but it seems that a new friendship was budding.

After Samantha changed his diaper, Brian knew that she was never again going to view him as her boss, but he hoped she would at least pretend for appearance’s sake. She filled up his sippy cup with apple juice and set it on his desk. “Ok sweet boy, its time to be a big boy for a while and get some work done. I will check on you later. And remember its ok to use your diaper, but just come get me if you want to try and use the potty,” she said much like a mother to a toddler.

Brian blushed again at the mention of his diapers. She left the office and closed the door behind her. How on earth could he possibly focus? He realized he was still sucking on the pacifier and he quickly removed it. If these two women could regress him with such ease at any moment, was he now permanently bound to diapers. He had fantasized so many times about being reduced to a helpless baby. Now that it was happening and he questioned if this is what he wanted. But he feared it was too late. He was going to have to accept and trust that they would keep him safe.

He tried to act like everything was normal. Now that he was alone, his adult clarity started to return. He needed to start brainstorming how to market this new Babies R Us line. Brian always liked to sketch out ideas by hand whenever he was brainstorming. He even kept a whiteboard in his office for this very purpose. He went up to the board. His mind was blank. How could he ever have a mother’s perspective? He looked down at the sippy cup sitting on his desk. He brought it too his mouth and tasted the sweet juice. Maybe he couldn’t tap into the perspective of a mother, but he knew what it felt like to be a baby. Maybe not entirely, but then again, he was in a very thick diaper. He closed his eyes and tried to recall the feelings he had when his mommy was in control. In those moments, he didn’t think in words, but feelings and sensations. He opened the cap to the marker and started scribbling the feelings he experienced with his mommy: warmth, safety, trust, love, giggly. He kept scribbling across the board: cold, wet, hungry, scared, small, full, peaceful. He stared at the words he had scrawled out. He keyed in one word in particular: trust. He grabbed a red marker and drew a big circle around it.

Trust could be a nebulous word. It gets tossed around so much that it sometimes lost meaning. But with his recent experiences, it took on new meaning for him. When he was wet, he had to trust that his mommy would change him. When he felt scared, he had to trust that she would keep him safe. He thought about the night that this all started. By him agreeing to be her baby, he was entrusting her with his greatest vulnerability. Obviously, babies aren’t able to articulate what they are feeling, but who would know better as to what a baby was feeling: mothers. He still had a long way to go, but this exercise was getting the wheels turning.

Brian was so consumed with his work, he didn’t realize that half the morning had elapsed. He was so happy that he had been able to regain that focus. It gave him a glimmer of comfort that maybe he still in control of some things. Maybe he could be both a big boy and a baby. But then a rumble in his belly snatched his attention. He hadn’t had a bowel movement since Saturday. Perhaps his anxiety and nerves had bound him up. When he had played in diapers before this all began, he had never messed himself. It was one thing to wet, but he wasn’t willing to do that. He felt nervous about having to ask Samantha to go potty. He could just use his diaper, but having her change a messy diaper might be even more embarrassing. He looked back at the board. Trust. He had to put it to the test and trust that Samantha meant everything she said to him.

He peaked his head out the door, “Umm, can I see you for a moment?”

“Of course,” she smiled.

Inside the office, Brian started to have second thoughts about asking, but then another rumble in his belly made him find the courage to ask. “Ummm, I need to use the potty… I mean the restroom.”“Oh! Ok. Let me help you,” she was actually surprised that he came and asked. Brian started to unbutton his shirt. She playfully slapped his hand, “Uh uh uh baby, let me do that,” she chided him. After removing his shirt and pants, she pulled his onesie over his head, “Lay on the couch for me.” She undid the tapes of his diaper and set it aside. Fortunately, these diapers were refastenable. She then went through the trouble of redressing him. “Alright, I think you look acceptable to walk through the office. You don’t have any big boy undies, but I think you will be ok for a few minutes. When you get back, I will get you back in your diaper,” she said.

            “Thank you,” Brian said timidly.

            “Thank you what,” she said with one eye-brow raised.

            “Umm… thank you Auntie Samantha,” he said like a child that had just be scolded.

            She patted his bottom, “Off you go.”

After a few minutes he returned. Although he still struggled with his embarrassment, Samantha was helping him feel more at ease. Back in the office, she had Brian undressed once again. The haze of regression swept over him again as he stood before her in nothing but his birthday suit. His thumb made it to his mouth. “Lay down baby,” she cooed. She pulled out some wipes and proceeded to clean his bottom.

“But Aunfie Samanfa, I wiped myself after I went potty,” he said with his thumb still ensconced in his mouth.

“I know sweetie, but I just wanted to make sure that you are all clean,” she responded.

She rediapered him and got him dressed again. When he was finished, he started to “grow up.” He pulled his thumb from his mouth and blushed.

She placed her hand on his arm, “Brian what did I tell you. There is no need to feel embarrassed. Do you think if I was judging you that I would be standing here? I want you to feel comfortable to act as little as you want around me. Ok?”

“I know, its just hard. And if it makes you feel any better, I still get really nervous with mommy too,” he said not even realizing that he said mommy instead of Rebecca. “Its hard and scary, but I want you to know that I am really thankful that you are here to help me. It really helps to know I am not alone. To be honest, I felt really scared yesterday, especially when I had my accident.”

“I have to imagine that must have felt really scary and lonely. You aren’t alone Brian. You can count on me anytime,” she said. Brian felt a tear run down his check. He felt like he had cried so much over the past few days. “Oh sweetheart, there isn’t any reason to cry,” she said as she pulled him in for a hug. “You are such sweet boy and you are just too cute in your diaper. I could just eat you up,” she snickered and started tickling him. Brian’s tears turned to giggles. “Now I don’t want to hear anymore about feeling embarrassed, whether its around me or even around your mommy. We both want you to be a happy baby. Now let’s try to get a little more work done before I take you out to lunch, my treat,” she smiled.

[puppetwoman17]

You know, i wanna expand a bit on Billy’s relationship with Ebenezer, because I feel like it’s so important to dissecting Billy’s character.

⚠️If you don’t wanna read about my thoughts on Billy’s mental abuse by his only adult relative, then please click away⚠️

My mind went back to the fact that Billy couldn’t go with his family to Egypt solely because of his lacking grades. I wondered, E must know, right? Maybe he was told in passing, maybe Billy told him and asked him for help studying, whatever. And I just know that he made fun of and ridiculed him. He likely called him dumb, moronic, any name in the book.

Ebenezer constantly relayed to him and validated the notion that Billy stopped HIMSELF from being with his family in their last moments. That he was too stupid to be with them.

With that in mind, he would have had to be solely dependent on his uncle. Unfortunately, that’s not possible. He’d have no choice but to trust him, but we know that backfires. His only reprieve is school, so when he gets home, Ebenezer would tell him to put his stupid brain to good use.

Anyone can sneak and buy beer. Even an idiot like him.

The basis for their entire relationship is that Billy looks like his dad. Hell, he practically worships him. But because Ebenezer can’t very well scare his younger brother(height mixed with a strong personality), he goes for the closest thing. A spitting image of his half-brother who still hasn’t developed mentally and barely exhibits any traits.

It will take years for Billy to realize that Ebenezer is a coward. Until then, that man is his worst nightmare. He’s the thing he fears most in this world. Forget Black Adam, Darkseid, and Mr. Mind. Merely thinking of Ebenezer Batson, the man who belittled him so much that he has trouble trusting himself, causes him to shut down or divert away from those thoughts.

Just like his dad, Billy is everything Ebenezer isn’t. He’s young. He’s talented. He’s charming. He has opportunity. And he believes in himself because his parents made sure he did. So the worst possible thing Ebenezer could ever do to his nephew is mess up all that careful development.

“Are you sure they loved you?”

“Are you sure you can do this?”

“You’re the only one who stopped you from being with them.”

“When are you going to realize that you can’t do anything right?”

Ebenezer Batson is the only person in the world who knows the one other way he could crush his nephew’s spirit. Ruining Captain Marvel’s image.

Because he definitely “knows” knows. CC’s face on Marvel tells him everything he should know.

The one thing, above all, that could crush his nephew’s spirit into dust, is ruining Captain Marvel’s image. Because it’s genuinely all he has left of his dad. He’s the only way he can see his dad talking and moving on screen. It’s like he’s still here, and Billy never wants to ruin that.

But he’s an idiot. That’s what E used to tell him. What if he makes a mistake and no one likes Cap anymore? What if he’s ruined the image of CC Batson(his face, his ideals, his hopes) forever?

Just the fact that it’s not these cosmic beings of mass destruction or mad scientists bent on world domination that shakes Marvel/Billy to his core. It’s this evil old man who knows him better than anyone. Knows how he thinks. Knows what buttons to push to get him angry and look bad. Knows how to lower that self-confidence.

[americanwh0rerstory]

KINKTOBER DAY FIVE

Brainwashing and Manipulation - Kai Anderson

kai anderson x f!reader

SUMMARY: becoming infatuated with a politician didn’t seem too bad, not until you joined his cult…

CONTENT WARNING: adult grooming, manipulation, sex, condescension, degradation, oral (m!receiving), abuse? i mean he slaps you around a bit so i guess, LONG INTRO+ANGSTY ENDING

A/N: after realising that the jpm fic wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be, i decided to make this one darker in a more emotional sense. hope you all enjoy

MDNI. CONSUME MEDIA AT OWN RISK

A politician. cold, calculating, and manipulative. they all were, there wasn’t a single politician who wasn’t corrupt in one way or another; you were a firm believer of this. However you found yourself at one of kai’s rallies, completely captivated by him. so captivated that you completely forgot how corrupt politicians could be, how selfish they could be

the way he carried himself: confident, determined, assertive, as though he had been born for the job. There wasn’t a crinkle in his suit, not a single hair was out of place in his tightly pulled man-bun, his posture was perfect as he addressed the crowd. It was impossible to deny how he got you a little hot under the collar.

You went to more of his rallies after that day, at every rally you were there. front row, eyes trained on kai. he seemed to know how charismatic he was, but also how powerful he was. he’d occasionally make eye contact with you, and look away as though nothing happened. day by day, week by week this continued with your infatuation growing worse; Until the day he finally spoke to you

“wanna grab dinner later?” his direct and authoritative tone rang out as you turned to leave the now finished rally, obviously you accepted, why wouldn’t you?

he asked about you, listening intently with his neutral expression. whenever he spoke it was empathetic to whatever you were talking about. all you could think about was how perfect he seemed, so perfect that you accepted his invitation back to his house. he seemed so perfect that you ignored the strange pinky ritual he had you do, so perfect that you ignored the small warning given to you by his silver haired sister about how he wasn’t the best person to be involved with.

weeks passed. you saw kai often and whilst you thought it was innocent dates he knew that he was merely indoctrinating you into something much more sinister; you, the trusting lamb, fell right into his trap exactly like flys in spider webs and moths to flames

——————————————————————————

“suck harder” he grumbled harshly, pushing your head down on his spit-covered dick. you gagged, feeling his balls against your chin with his entire length down your throat. you didn’t dare disobey him though, hollowing your cheeks and using your tongue on the underside of his member whilst you deepthroated him

tears pricked in the corners of your eyes, your gag reflex being put to the test by taking kai this deep. you didn’t dare object though, continuing to suck him off. after all, last time you disobeyed it didn’t end well for you. mindlessly obeying, you just continued to suck his dick. It brought you a strange sense of belonging when you pleased kai, knowing that you was helping his cause. he told you that it helped him de stress, and it became your job to keep him satisfied.

he gripped your hair with one hand and began to use your throat like his personal fucktoy, which was exactly you were. you felt his length hit the back of your throat with every forced movement. his nails dug into your scalp, urging you to keep up with the pace he was setting with his rough movements. the stinging sensation only fuelled the tears in your eyes, you hoped he’d assume it was just from the extensive gagging.

“you’re fucking pathetic when you cry like that. keep going. you wanna make me happy don’t you? want your divine ruler to be a bit gentler?” he scoffed, his tone filled with condescension as he spoke down to you. you were worthless, insignificant, and he would remind you of such.

you obliged nonetheless, taking as much of kai as you could and as fast as you could. with glassy and tear filled eyes, you silently served kai’s needs. the taste of his precum overwhelmed your senses, the bitter taste slipping down your throat

his words made you think for a moment, you wanted to please him. you had to please him, you felt like you wanted too but deep down in your subconscious you knew that it was just his manipulations and indoctrinations that he had carefully crafted ever since he saw those doe-eyes full of wonder in the crowd at his rallies.

he continued to force you down on his dick, his eyes glued to whatever political thing was on the news. the familiar voice of trump echoed in your ears which only reminded you of kai’s radical views. the thought of being with someone who actively supported these views disgusted you, but he was too good to leave.

your mind continued to drift whilst you sucked him off, thinking about how different kai was from the man you had become infatuated with previously. you never took the kai you met as a misogynist, racist, trump-supporting cult leader.

you looked up at him with eyes full of devotion, hoping to please him so he’d give you mercy. he payed no attention to you and just forced your head back into his crotch without taking his eyes off of the TV. his stoic expression never faltered nor moved from the TV. his nails were still planted in your hair, gripping you and forcing you to keep up with his movements; treating you like a ragdoll

your pace slowed slightly, not meeting kai’s expectations which caused you to be met with the sharp stinging sensation and the whiplash of your face being slapped. “what the fuck is wrong with you? i give you ONE job and you can’t even do that. why do i even keep you around? you’re just wasting my time with your bullshit”

he pushed you to the floor, standing up and pulling his boxers up with him. “worthless. fucking worthless. maybe i should find someone else who would appreciate being able to worship my cock” he huffed before leaving the room, with you still on the floor

the tears that formed earlier due to the gagging now silently spilled, this time for that guilty feeling of failure that overcame yourself. you felt disgusted with yourself for letting kai use you like this, but it felt so right to be his. you couldn’t leave though, no, despite all this treatment you still loved him. you were still infatuated with him and it would always be that way.

A/N: angsty ending? manipulative sex? sounds great. hope you all enjoyed this <3

[goggles-mcgee]

Harry Potter being smaller than all first years (which we all knew anyway) but twice as feral.

Prefect Percy immediately noticing his small stature and being worried, Boy-Who-Lived or not. So he always offers him more help or just lends an ear. At first Harry is wary of him, no one is nice to him for no reason. Either it's a trick or with his new fame in the picture, because they want something but slowly he begins to trust Percy. Percy feels like a big brother for the first time in a long time. Ron and Ginn rarely went to him with their problems, they preferred Charlie or Bill (he couldn't blame them as he too preferred them but it still hurt), or worse the twins (that hurt worse). They didn't care for his advice. For his knowledge.

Harry was a breath of fresh air....well somewhat. Things he said were concerning and when Percy tried to get an adult to help (*coughMcGonagallcoughDumbledorecoughHisMomcoughHisDadcoughMADAMEPOMPFREYcough*) they brushed off his concerns which was more than a little concerning. So he just vowed to help Harry whenever and however he could. Then Harry somehow made the Quidditch team. At eleven. AT ELEVEN.

----------

Oliver Wood loved his new seeker! He was timid at first but quickly found his confidence! Sure it was on the feral side but that's how Oliver liked his players! I mean, look at the twins! Plus Harry had the perfect seeker build! Though...he was on the small side. But Oliver chalked that up to the lid being literally eleven but when he looked closer he realized that no...Harry was really small. Too small. And Oliver would know, his mum was a healer and she taught him some stuff considering his love (obsession) with Quidditch.

So he pays more attention. And what he witnesses and notices is not...good. it's very telling. He tries to go to some adults about what he's noticed but nothing came of it and that really got him mad. Then out of no where Percy Weasley came up to him and started lecturing him on Potter's health and all Oliver could think was, oh thank Merlin I'm not the only one who's noticed!

He and Percy stayed up well past curfew talking about their smallest cub and somehow it ended up with them coparenting the Boy-Who-Lived. Oliver would be completely honest and admit he didn't think it would be so difficult until the troll incident....then the dragon incident.....then the CERBERUS incident!

Oliver became something of another big brother to Harry and another confidant. So when Harry told him more about what happened at the Dursley's (because Harry never called it home. Never) Oliver was already plotting to kidnap the boy from the house or the station whether Percy thought it was a good idea or not.

[anghraine]

This is unnecessarily long, but: I was just thinking about Wickham's predation on fifteen-year-old Georgiana Darcy and then, almost exactly a year later, Wickham's predation on sixteen-year-old Lydia Bennet.

There are obvious parallels between the two incidents. In fact, they're so obvious that I think the incidents are sometimes treated as equivalent, with the consequences only differing by happenstance. I don't think that's true, personally.

There are some mechanistic sort of differences—Wickham put a lot more effort and planning into the Georgiana situation. He wanted to marry her for her money and to make her brother suffer. She had to be isolated from people who would look out for her interests, he had Mrs Younge in place, he had known Georgiana as a child and was able to exploit his own previous kindness to her as her father's godson, etc.

And Georgiana, despite all of this, and despite being swept away by a teenage infatuation with an extremely attractive man, was still uncomfortable with it. She was worried about disappointing a brother who raised her and whom she deeply loves and admires. When her brother actually showed up by surprise, she decided to tell him everything; Darcy takes pains to give her credit for this. Adaptations generally downplay Georgiana's active decision-making here, but the only element of chance is Darcy deciding to go to Ramsgate at all. He insists that he was only able to act because Georgiana chose to tell him what was going on.

This isn't meant to be an indictment of Lydia, though. Does she admire the parents who raised her? No. But why would she? Especially why would she admire a father who treats her mother and sisters and herself with profound contempt and no sense of responsibility? Why would she ever confide in him?

It's not like Lydia doesn't confide in anyone. In fact, she too confides in an older sibling, her sister Kitty. And in one sense, her trust in Kitty is not undeserved. Kitty does keep the secret. Presumably, she does this because, despite her occasional annoyance with Lydia, she is very much under her influence and goes along with whatever Lydia does. Regardless, she is trustworthy in that sense. Moreover, we see at the end of the book that Kitty is easily improved by being placed in better environments and taught how to behave. She just didn't know better.

How was she going to judge Lydia's situation correctly? Who was teaching her to judge anything correctly? Certainly not their parents.

If Mr Bennet had bothered to interest himself in his younger daughters and try and influence them for the better, impressionable Kitty is probably the one who would have benefited the most. The whole Lydia/Wickham thing would have fallen apart before it went anywhere if all the girls had been been properly raised, even if Lydia did exactly the same things.

And Lydia likely wouldn't do the same things if she'd been brought up properly and, you know, treated with a baseline of respect rather than being openly mocked by her father, the person most able to affect her development. Instead, at barely sixteen, she's been continually rejected by her father, over-indulged by her mother, and flattered by adult men (28-y-o Darcy says he and Wickham are nearly the same age). And she still tells someone what's going on, even though she doesn't care about her parents' opinions or the consequences of her actions. And she was under the protection of a colonel and his wife at the time, who also could have told someone or acted, and didn't.

It's not that nobody could have done anything about the Lydia/Wickham situation. It's that nobody did until Darcy found out and tried to extract her. But it was, in one sense, too late. To Lydia, he's just some unfun acquaintance who says boring things like "go home to your family and I'll do what I can to cover for you." That is, he tries to do what he did for Georgiana.

But Lydia is not Georgiana—she did not choose to tell him about any of this. She did not want to be extracted because she didn't know and couldn't be quickly made to understand what marriage to Wickham would mean in the long term. And she didn't care what her family thought because she had no reason to, pragmatically or psychologically.

Georgiana, otoh, did care about her family's welfare and the good opinion and affection of the head of her family. But despite their radical differences in personality, the most fundamental difference between the girls IMO is that Georgiana had every reason to believe that disappointing Darcy and losing his respect would be a change from the norm.

Normally he is affectionate and attentive towards her. They write each other long letters, he defends her to other family members, and praises her frequently. Georgiana, quiet and intimidated though she may be, talks more when he's around. Disappointing him had actual stakes for her.

Put another way, the potential loss of his good opinion mattered to her because he's gone to the trouble of raising her as well as he can and forming a good relationship with her. She chose to tell Darcy the whole thing because he had earned her affection and trust in a way that Mr Bennet has utterly failed to do. Even Darcy happening to visit Georgiana at Ramsgate comes from his affection and attention to Georgiana's welfare, even if he couldn't have known what would follow from checking on his sister at that particular moment.

Chance is always part of life, and it's part of the novel and these situations. But a lot of how these scenarios wound out was not determined by chance but by long-existing patterns in these girls' educations and relationships.

[meanderfall]

Been watching the 2003 tmnt show, and obviously I went in with some knowledge of who the turtles are and their roles and personalities, but it's been kind of fascinating to notice how Leonardo is actually pretty restrained in acting as a leader, at least in the more traditional sense (and from what i've seen so far in the first 2 seasons).

The moments where he actually directly takes charge of a situation and tells his brothers what to do, or puts his foot down on what he thinks is best, are actually few and far between. It usually only really crops up in life-or-death situations, or if his brothers are arguing over a course of action and he has to intervene.

To be honest, I think his more common leadership moments are understated to the point of barely being noticeable, and it's whenever they have a problem or situation to deal with and he turns to his brothers for suggestions on what to do. And the reason i consider this to be leadership moments are threefold:

First, by doing so, he's actually helping direct their focus on possible solutions or weak points, because his questions to them are never "what do we do" but more like "how can we distract the guards" or "is it possible to take down this machine", and like, listen. Listen. As someone who works with the general public and is one of the "leaders" of my department and has to guide my co-workers, the ability to assess a situation and even just know what kind of questions to ask to reach a solution is genuinely an underrated skill that far too many grown ass adults have not cultivated.

Second, he's actually keeping the line of communication open between him and his brothers. Sure, Don is usually the turtle who provides an answer, but Raph and Mikey are always welcome to speak up too and sometime they go with their ideas! I also think this makes them comfortable enough to speak up during more high pressure situations that aren't going great when they have a plan, bc they have full confidence that Leo and the others will back them up bc Leo really is always encouraging them to think and help him figure out what to do,

Which brings me to my third reason. By asking them for their thoughts and advice, it shows that Leonardo is willing to admit that he doesn't know something and he isn't afraid to look for them for help (at least in this regard lmao). And idk about yall but I'm much more willing to follow someone who won't pretend he has all the answers and is willing to seek advice, over someone whose ego is so big they can never admit to being wrong or humble themselves to ask for help.

And, like, I don't really know what came first, if, growing up, they were so close and good at working together that it never occurred to Leonardo to be more authoritative with his brothers now that they're a team, or if because Leonardo spent so much of their childhood more concerned with running after them and bailing them out of whatever scraps they get into and low-key knew telling them what to do wouldn't work that he just naturally fell into a more communicative and "we're all in this together, let's figure out what to do together" style.

But it does give off the impression of the brothers being a tight-knit team that pretty much work as one unit. Any friction between them is minimal at best (with most of it actually being between Mikey and Raph who take any opportunity to mess with the other). They don't really need to outline plans bc they're usually on the same page in the first place, and they have complete trust and faith in one another in getting the job done. No one is really in charge until it's necessary.

And, finally, all of the above combined is why I think his brothers usually listen and respect Leo on the rare occasions he does put his foot down on something. They know he wouldn't do it unless he was serious about what he's saying. Pretty much the only times they don't are when all 3 of them are united on wanting to do something and Leo was already kind of wavering on what to do, so they know they can rush ahead and big brother will rush after them to make sure they're okay. Or if they are also absolutely serious and fully believe in their own opinion on an issue (see the City at War arc where Leo and Raph are on complete opposite sides of the issue at hand).

but i still got 2 and half seasons to get through so maybe that changes!

[detectivesvu]

Sharing Secrets

Mike Dodds x Fem! Reader Tags: Brief mentions of child abuse. Word Count: 3.6k "I just...hope I haven't completely messed things up."

The air of the SVU victim interview room was completely still.

It wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but it was definitely quiet and not much conversation to fill the air. After all your years at SVU, talking to victims and hearing their stories still stung just as much as your very first day on the squad.

Of course, as time went on and you had more experience under your belt, you were more confident and comfortable talking to victims. You knew that in some cases, you were the only person in their corner. You were the only person who understood what they were feeling and what they were going through. Work experience helped, but it didn’t put even a dent in the way it still made your stomach turn to hear such traumatic events day in and day out.

And certainly, adults were one thing…kids were entirely another.

Too often, SVU was handed cases of kids being assaulted and abused…traumatized and scarred for life. With the adults, you always managed to move on, but kids? Kids’ cases stuck with you forever. Hearing small, meek children tell you that they had been touched or beaten…almost always by someone they knew and trusted. It was impossible to get used to hearing and seeing that every day…it was inconceivable to believe that anyone could lay their hands on a child.

Today was no exception.

He hadn’t hardly said a word since he sat down. He was practically trembling with anxiety as he did everything he could to avoid looking at you and your detective partner sitting directly across from him. If he did sneak a glance, his eyes tended to go to Detective Dodds, who only returned a quick soft smile each time he locked eyes with the 5-year-old.

His eyes were trained on the numerous pieces of paper strewn in front of him, a variety of different colored crayons scattered there as well. He was doodling away with the different crayons, silently dreaming up and sketching multiple pictures as a way of entertaining himself…and distracting himself from the two of you attempting to speak with him.

You and Dodds had been trying to get through to him for nearly half an hour. Each question you asked only earned a meek response and an uncomfortable body movement.

He was scared to death no doubt. Confused as to why two police officers were asking him so many questions that he didn’t want to answer…and even more confused about the situation that landed him here in the first place.

“That’s a really nice picture,” Your voice — soft and full of warmth — spoke to the young boy sitting across from you. “Do you like to draw?”

He said nothing. His eyes — full of fear and yet still so full of innocence — only flickered to you for a moment as a physical show that he had indeed heard your question. His left eye was swollen and a grisly shade of black and blue…evidence of what he had endured that landed him at SVU. His head barely nodded up and down as he set the crayon in use down, his cheeks tinting pink under your gaze.

Mike studied the picture that the child was currently working on. It was no Picasso masterpiece by any means…but even Mike could put together what it was supposed to be.

“Are these your favorite foods?” Mike asked, noting that he could spot a variety of foods that were universally kid friendly.

The child gave another small nod. Eyes now focused on his hands fiddling in his lap. This boy had been through hell and back, so it was no surprise he wasn’t interested in chatting about what foods he liked with two adult strangers. If that boy knew anything for sure, it was that the adults that were supposed to love you could hurt you beyond comprehension…so trusting an adult he didn’t know was not an option unless they gave him a reason to.

It was odd though. The boy had been much more talkative when Sonny picked him up and brought him into the precinct. He hadn’t been a chatterbox by any means, but according to Sonny — the kid wasn’t so clammed up like he was now. Something was making him uneasy.

“Pizza, ice cream, sandwiches…all really good stuff. I like all of that too,” Mike said, trying to establish some kind of common ground with the kid. Mike pointed to one particular image on his picture, a rectangular shape with a symbol on it that he identified to be a certain type of fruit. “Is this a juice box?”

The boy nodded once more, shrinking down into his seat as Mike continued.

“If you want, we can get you a juice box. We have some around here.”

For the briefest moment, the boy perked up. His eyes glimmered just long enough for you and Mike to catch it and know that you were making some progress.

He cowered and shrank into himself again when he locked eyes with you, and that’s when it clicked for Mike.

“Detective,” Mike turned to you, a small, reassuring smile on his face. “Would you get my friend here an apple juice?”

Mike had a look on his face, a look that let you know he had something in mind. You and Mike — a dynamic duo as work partners — understood one another. Your thoughts often flowed together smoothly and with ease. In many ways, your bond went well outside of work. The two of you didn’t just blend together as partners…but as people. If Mike needed you to leave, then you trusted him.

“Sure thing,” You retreated from your chair. “I’ll be right back.”

Mike kept his eyes on the kid, who allowed his own eyes to follow you as you exited the room and disappeared behind the wall. He released a long breath once you were gone, unbeknownst to him that you would be watching from the other side once his promised juice box was retrieved. Mike let the silence simmer for a few minutes, not wanting to immediately start asking more questions.

It wasn’t until the boy snuck another glance at Mike that he decided to try and press further.

“So…let me ask you something. Does Detective [L/N] make you nervous?”

The boy’s wide brown eyes locked with Mike’s for only another moment as he nodded, fiddling with his small hands.

“Can you tell me why she makes you nervous? You didn’t seem to like her being here," Mike asked. "I'm your friend. You can tell me."

The boy was clearly wrestling with himself. Not wanting to give in to Mike’s question…but deep down knowing that he wasn’t here to do anything other than help him. The boy then spoke for the first time in half an hour. The tiniest bit of comfort filled his senses as he finally began to answer Mike’s questions.

“She’s pretty…” He gave the tiniest, shyest grin with a small voice.

Mike couldn’t help himself. His laugh was light and surprised, but genuine. This was the first time he had said anything, and he chose to say that.

You yourself gave a small laugh, cradling the beloved apple juice in your hand to be delivered once Mike made some decent headway in this conversation.

“He’s getting through to him.” Olivia, who was standing to your immediate right, said aloud. “Even if it’s at your expense.”

You shook your head and shrugged, completely unbothered.

“I don’t mind,” You answered. “Mike knows what he’s doing.”

Mike could tell the kid was warming up. He didn’t want to lose momentum now while he was on a roll.

“Is that why you didn’t want to talk with her in the room?”

The boy nodded and surprised Mike by posing a question of his own.

“Do you think she’s pretty too?”

Suddenly, the questioning at your expense was getting a bit personal. Mike shifted in his seat a bit -- he wasn't going to lie to this boy, but he also knew you were listening. Right now, this kid was his priority.

“Yeah, bud. I do.”

The boy brightened up, clearly interested in this ordeal. Mike didn't mind. If it distracted him from what he had been through, then he was more than willing to dish out his personal business.

“Are you boyfriend-girlfriend?” The boy straightened up, now having no trouble keeping eye contact with Mike.

“No, we’re not boyfriend-girlfriend.” Mike chuckled again at the phrasing of the youngster's question.

“Why not?” He tilted his head slightly with curiosity.

Mike's eyes widened at that question, a sly smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He wasn't expecting that question, and it caught him off guard. Mike was too far down the road of this conversation to turn back now. If he lost this kid's trust, they might never really know what was happening to him. He turned his attention back to the child, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

"It's a bit more complicated than that," Mike admitted, trying to maintain his composure. "We're partners...but not the kind that dates."

It seemed that suddenly the boy was very invested in your and Mike’s relationship because he continued to press on like he needed to know for his own personal reasons.

“But if you think she’s pretty, why don’t you date?” He asked. “You like her don’t you?”

Mike chuckled again, amused by the boy's curiosity and keen eye for detail. He leaned back in his chair, contemplating his answer for a moment before speaking.

"Well...you're right. I do like her," he admitted, a smile on his face. "But it's not always that simple. We work together every day...and sometimes," Mike said, hesitating for a moment, "Work can get in the way of things."

“Oh…” The boy said quietly, thinking for only a moment before continuing. “So you don’t like her more than a friend?”

Mike pondered on the question. It really was a difficult one to answer. Because the feelings he had for you weren't just that of friendship. They were stronger, deeper, but he didn't know how to articulate it to a 5-year-old child. He leaned closer to the boy, his voice serious but still friendly.

"I do like her more than just a friend. A lot more," He confessed, his smile still on his face. "But it's a bit tricky when we work together. Does that make sense?"

The boy picked up on Mike’s quiet tone, and he matched his whisper when he spoke next.

“Yeah but…why don’t you tell her you like her?”

Mike was caught off guard again by the boy's insightful question. He shifted in his chair, feeling a pang of guilt and regret in his chest. The simple truth was, he had thought about expressing his feelings to you more times than he could count. But there was always a reason not to.

He sighed, his voice low and conflicted.

"It's not that easy. If I tell her how I feel...it could mess up our friendship."

Mike realized he was probably oversharing with him. In no way was his feelings for you the child's responsibility...but the boy didn't seem burdened in the slightest -- this was the most interested he had been in talking all day. A slight smile appeared on the boy’s face as he leaned over the table, whispering even quieter to Mike.

“I think she likes you too.” He grinned.

Mike kept his expression unchanged, but his heartbeat was beginning to quicken in his chest. He knew there was no turning back from this now. He leaned in toward the boy, mirroring his whispering tone.

"What makes you think that?" He asked in a hushed voice.

The boy shrugged, but his eyes were completely lit up at this conversation.

“I don’t know…” He giggled. “I can just tell.”

Mike knew this conversation was getting way off track. The purpose of this interview was to get this boy to tell him about what he had endured at his daycare center, and how he ended up bruised and beaten — but at this point, Mike figured it was valuable to finish it out.

“You’re a smart kid,” He said. “You can tell me. How can you tell?"

Mike was impressed at how observant and perceptive this kid was. At such a young age, he had an astute sense of things that many adults didn’t even pick up on in their own relationships. The boy scrunched his eyebrows, thinking hard. Mike chuckled at the sight and waited patiently for his answer.

"Well," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "She smiles at you a lot. And she listens when you talk. Like...she really listens."

Mike was speechless. He could tell this kid was observant, but this was beyond impressive. It seemed that this five-year-old was beyond smarter than he was.

“But I won’t tell her if you don’t want her to know you like her,” The boy said. “I promise."

Mike knew that it wasn't a secret anymore, given that you were probably watching from the other side and had heard this entire conversation. Still, Mike admired the kid's loyalty. He leaned forward, a conspiratorial smile on his face.

“Thanks, kid. Let’s keep it just between us for now, okay?”

Mike knew you had to have been watching and listening this entire time. His stomach was in knots knowing that you had just heard him spill his liking for you to a child. He hoped and hoped that this kid was right, and that your friendship and partnership wasn’t over.

As if on cue, the door to the room opened — revealing you with two small boxes of the promised apple juice. The boy shrank into his seat slightly when you entered, but shared a knowing glance with Mike.

Mike's eyes darted from the boy back to you, trying to keep a casual demeanor despite the wave of nerves that washed over him. He could sense the boy's slightly timid behavior as you entered the room, and the knowing glance the boy shared with him was both reassuring and foreboding. He tried his best to act natural, standing up to take the juice box from you and set it on the table in front of the boy.

"Perfect timing, thanks." Mike said, his voice betraying a hint of tension underneath.

She knew Mike was going to try and continue the conversation with the boy now — and get the full story of the abuse he had endured. She wouldn’t be sticking around - just long enough to give him his juice.

“I brought you a second one…just in case you were extra thirsty.” she smiled at the boy, her heart pounding at the new knowledge of Mike liking her so much more than she ever realized. “If you want anything else, let Mike know, okay?”

The boy took one of the juice boxes, unwrapped the straw and punched it into the hole.

“Okay,” He gave her a shy smile. “Thanks.”

The thought of you potentially knowing Mike's feelings for you — the fact that he may have given away his secret to you via a 5-year-old — was almost overwhelming. But he pushed it aside, needing to focus on the task at hand.

As you excused yourself to leave the room, he shot you a quick nod, a silent thank you for the juice and giving him and the kid some privacy.

“Okay, buddy…” Mike said calmly, trying to shift gears. “Can you tell me about your daycare teacher?”

For the next hour or so, Mike and the boy talked back and forth. The boy told Mike all the details of how his daycare teacher abused him and other kids in his class — and gave SVU enough reason to question and potentially arrest her.

Through the boy's detailed and sometimes-heartbreaking account of the abuse he and others had suffered, Mike listened intently, his heart breaking a bit more with every new piece of information. He jotted down notes as the boy spoke, making sure to capture as much information as possible for the investigation. The more Mike learned about the daycare teacher's treatment of the children, the more determined he was to bring her to justice.

When the boy was out of things to say and SVU had enough information, Mike stood from the table and held his hand out to the boy.

“You’ve been very brave and helpful to us,” He said, smiling once more when the boy walked around the table and took his hand. “Thank you for helping us.”

The boy nodded, walking out of the room hand-in-hand with Mike — entering Olivia’s office where you, Olivia, and Carisi were waiting. Olivia wore an expression of curiosity, Carisi looked as if he was about to explode to go tell the entire squad room what just happened, and you were looking at Mike...purely in awe as he stood in front of you.

Mike squatted to meet the boy’s height, gesturing toward Carisi with a grin.

“I need to get back to work now. Detective Carisi is going to take you now, okay?”

The boy nodded again, leaning in to whisper one more thing to Mike before going with Carisi.

“I won’t forget our secret.” He said, and Mike patted his shoulder affectionately.

Carisi took the boy with him, leaving Mike alone with her and Olivia. As Carisi led the boy out of the office -- no doubt going to tell Fin and Rollins about this -- Mike stood up and stood stoically, now facing you and Olivia, his nerves mounting. He avoided your gaze, focusing instead on straightening out the notes he had taken during the interview. The silence in the room was deafening, and Mike's heart was hammering in his chest.

"I'm going to call Barba," Olivia said, which was Olivia's way of saying she was leaving the room. “I'll send Fin and Rollins down to that daycare center."

Mike nodded in acknowledgement as Olivia relayed the news about the teacher, his heart racing even faster at the impending prospect of being alone with you. He swallowed hard, bracing himself for the conversation that was to come. Olivia swiftly left the room, closing the door behind her.

Mike stood frozen for a moment, mustering up the courage to finally look over at you. He took a deep breath, his gaze meeting yours. It wasn't like Mike to be so nervous. Mike was always confident...super focused on work. But right now, he was terrified that your partnership and friendship was ruined.

He could tell you weren’t angry with him or anything of that nature. If anything you looked…relieved.

“So…” You couldn’t help but flash a small grin, his chest fluttering at the sight. “You think I’m pretty?”

Mike let out a nervous laugh, a mix of relief and anxiety coursing through him. Seeing your small grin made his heart skip a beat. He couldn't deny it now - he was about to see the outcome of his confession.

"Guilty as charged," he admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "That kid wasn't wrong."

He paused for a moment, the weight of his feelings for you heavy in his chest.

"I just...hope I haven't completely messed things up."

“Come on, Mike…” You took a step closer. “You know it would take way more than that to mess things up between us.”

Relief washed over him as you took a step closer. The distance between you guys was shrinking, and he could feel the tension in the room growing. He studied your face, searching your eyes for any hint of rejection.

"I was worried that you'd think this completely changed everything." He said, his voice quiet but firm.

"Well…it certainly does change things…in a good way." You smiled.

Mike's head was spinning. This was certainly not how he expected his day to go...and for the first time ever, he was distracted from the current case at hand.

He took a cautious step forward, closing the distance between you guys even further. His eyes searched yours, looking for any sign of doubt. He saw nothing but genuine hope.

"The kid was right after all," You said. "But this is a conversation we can have when we get this case figured out. We need to get him taken care of."

He gave a slow nod, his gaze locked on yours. As much as he wanted to blurt out everything he was feeling, he knew you were right — there was work to be done first.

"You're right," he said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "We need to focus on the case. But when this is all over…"

"When this is all over..." You finished his sentence for him. "We will see where we go from here."

The promise of "what's to come" overwhelmed him like no other. It had been so long since he had something other than work to focus on. He took another step forward, the urge to be closer to you nearly overwhelming him. But he stopped himself, knowing that until the case was closed, he couldn't act on any impulses.

"Right," He agreed. "How about dinner at my place?"

Your smile grew, and a slight heat rushed your cheeks.

"It's a date."

The matter was put to rest for now. They had work to do and a case to solve. But neither of you could deny that it sat in the back of your minds for the rest of the day. The day had taken an unexpected turn after all, and a most welcome one at that.

Mike was patient, and he knew with a little more time you would be able to see where this would lead.

Although, you both already had a pretty good idea of what that would be.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Yanno something I don't think is explored nearly enough? Ambrosius's relationship with the Director, and I'm referring to both versions here because they're both interesting in both similar and different ways

For the movie version (I will talk about the comic version on this post too, don't you worry) first of all my pal @walrus150915 wrote an incredible fic exploring this for the NBB please go read it right fucking now, but moving on from that, Ambrosius arguably saw the Director as his mom, or at least a stand-in for his mom.

She was (or seemed to be) a nurturing but authoritative adult who guided him in the role he was supposed to fill. A lot of people like to write her as an overtly nasty bitch in pre-canon fics, and while I completely get that, let's not forget that Ballister, at the beginning of the movie, found it potentially believable that he was her favorite student. He was dumbfounded and devastated to see she had been the one to frame him, he couldn't believe it and never suspected her for a second. I'll talk more about Ballister's relationship with her in another post, but the point is this is an Oscar-winning actress, people!

Ambrosius had every reason to look up to her and believe she cared about him. And she went from (in his perspective) treating him with patience, kindness, sympathy and respect, to trying to MURDER HIM.

You don't just get over a parental figure doing something like that to you (then oh yeah, promptly fucking d y i n g). The pain, the loss of realizing someone you loved and trusted was never who you thought they were (after he'd been battling those same feelings about Ballister) and never really cared about you as a person, it would be devastatingly traumatic. Like poor guy what the fuck. He had to cope with that WHILST trying to repair his broken relationship Jesus Christ

And that's not even getting INTO the comic version, which I will be getting into now. There's a big difference between the two and I think that's in no small part due to the timeframe. C! Ambro has been under the Director's thumb a full 15 years longer than his counterpart. This gave her time to exert more control over him, and also gave him time to grow more aware of her behavior. M!Ambro and the Director have the relationship of a person and their (non-sexual) groomer, while C!Ambro's relationship with her is more overtly that of a person and their abuser.*

She's regularly seen threatening him, threatening to have his loved one (Ballister) killed if he doesn't obey her thereby forcing him to do things against his will (like murder a child), insulting him, and showing him absolutely zero sympathy or kindness, even when he's seriously harmed. I think Ambrosius would, by this point, know that the Director isn't a good person and that she doesn't love him, but she's had much more time to sink her claws into him.

He's not going to leave her. This life, being the Champion, working for her, it's all he knows, and it's all he has. Where is he going to go, back to Ballister? Ballister hates him (because the Director took measures to isolate Ambrosius from him) and he's worked for the Institution his whole life. He knows the Director is bad, but he still trusts her. This is the devil he knows, at least, so by the time the story takes place he at least feels confident that they have a mutual understanding.

I imagine it took time to get to this point. He saw her as a mentor and spent most of his life desperate for her approval. After the joust, I can only imagine this got worse. She was all he had, and he'd do anything to prove himself worthy of the championship title he knows deep down that he stole. He probably saw her as a real friend for a long time, no matter how obvious she made it that the feeling wasn't mutual, and that he'd have to try ever harder to earn her praise.

What I'm saying is this man spent fifteen years under the boot of his abuser, then after fifteen years of grooming and psychological abuse she threw him in the trash, stripped him of his title and everything he'd worked for, tried to have his lover executed, then fucking died. And NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT??? HELLOO?????

*this is not to say that M! Ambro's relationship with the Director was not abusive, it was, or that C! Ambro wasn't groomed, he was. Simply that for him, the grooming had more time to develop into overt, recognizable abuse.

[sakuyomihana]

The Way Home.ft Wriothesley

Hello everyone~! This is short story dedicated to our handsome man, Wriothesley! Happy belated birthday! I wanted to finish this work on the day of his birthday, however I couldn't, my brain juice left me. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this little fic and look forward to the next chapter of my series, 'Tangled Threads Of Hearts'! Please do give it a read, thank you~! *Disclaimer: This is an original work done by me. Pls do not steal it or repost anywhere else. Thank you and have a happy reading day~!

Who could have ever thought that upon first meeting, you and your blind date would have hit off so well..? Running a hand through his already mussed up hair, Wriothesley could only sigh at the outcome. Wriothesley, the strongest and mightiest chief of the local prison as well as a renowned brawler who has made a name for himself in the entirety of Tevyat. This man, feared by many, prisoners and citizens alike, was your bestest friend and reliable confidant since your younger days from middle school till you were both full fledged adults. Amongst these merits, he also has a very difficult past. Childhood abuse and neglection, you could probably guess what that resulted in. He had to serve a sentence in the boys’ home, despite his actions that can be considered as self-defense. With such a childhood, Wriothesley had difficulties trusting in people. As a result, he barely made any friends in middle school. That’s when you came along…

You, [First Name] [Last Name], the ever cheerful and shyest person that he has ever met. He often wondered how he managed to befriend someone like you, the sweetest and most caring individual. That's how you got the moniker, ‘Sweetheart’. It definitely was a term of endearment, but that did not back him away from using it as you were just that sweet. You did complain about it and asked him on several different occasions to change it but it was all futile attempts. He loves teasing you and that hasn’t changed now that you were both adults. So whatever transpired? Well, it all began when you decided to approach him one day. Being the shy person that you were, it took a lot of courage for you to even start a conversation. Wriothesley had caught your eyes for the longest time, since the moment you met. You always wondered why he was alone and why no one ever dared to approach him. Your friends at the time shared with you what they knew from the rumors circulating around him, but that didn’t deter you from trying to befriend him. Knowing how incredibly stubborn you were, your friends supported you in your efforts.

What started out as you trying to protect him from his bullies, with you timidly telling them off to him having to protect you from your own actions. Something about you and what you had said to him spurred him to take action.

“S-stooping to some-thing so l-low as bullying, it’s just not right!”, he could tell that you were afraid. He wondered why you would go to such lengths for someone like him.

“Hah? What’s a chick doing here? Girls shouldn’t get in boys’ business, get out of here!”.

“*sigh* He’s right, girls shouldn’t get involved.”.

“A-and w-what! Aren’t you gonna try to stan-stand up for yourself?”.

“*sigh* How does any of these concern you? I can take care of my-”, he tried not to brush you off rudely, however he was cut off by your next words.

“B-but I ca-re about-t you! Even i-if others d-don’t, I will still care about you!”, he felt a chord struck in him. And that was when he leapt in front of you and shielded you from the perpetrator. Till this day, Wriothesley still remembers what he felt in that moment and the rush of adrenaline that came when he moved to defend you. He still remembers it as clear as day, it was the start of him feeling something new, something indescribable. From then on, he could be seen tagging by your side wherever you went. With how frequent people see you guys together, people start to tease the both of you left and right. Plus the nickname, it definitely did not help with the loosening of attention.

The indescribable feeling that he felt grew day by day, the more he spent time with you. He didn’t realize that what he felt was love all along, no, not familiar love but true love. The kind of love that makes him yearn for your attention, yearn for your warmth and yearn for your affection. The kind of love that makes him warm and fuzzy on the inside, where his heart begins to beat faster when you are in his presence. He only truly realized what he truly felt on the day where you were meeting with your blind date that your parents had introduced you too. He desperately wanted to stop you from attending, however he felt like he was in no position to choose the path that you wished to walk on. The constricting feeling in his chest worsened upon laying his eyes on you and your blind date, who knew your date would have turned out so well. You have given him enough, for a sinner like him, he didn’t dare to taint your spirit or body with these accursed sins. He chose to let you go… let you go and pursue your own happiness..

->>>>>>>>>

  In a bar on the outskirts of the city, Wriothesley sat at the bar counter alone. Swirling the glass in his hand, as he watched the liquid twirl and the ice clinked against each other when he came to a stop and downed the glass in a second. The bartender behind the counter dutifully poured him another as soon as the glass was empty, repeating the process until the man himself was satisfied. He wasn’t much of an alcoholic drinker, preferring tea over the latter but today was an exception. After downing his fifth glass for the night, the chair beside him creaked a little. Recognising the familiar presence beside him, he told the bartender without hesitation, “Bartender, another glass for this beautiful lady beside me please.”.

“I honestly wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight, Chief Prison Guard.”, graciously accepting the filled glass into her hand as she greeted the man. Taking a small sip from the glass, she let out a small hum of approval before placing it down in front of her and raised a hand to prop her chin with an elbow against the counter.

“A penny for your thoughts?”.

“I could say the same about you.”.

Letting out a huff, the man downed another glass. The lady, also known as Clorinde, follows suit right after, emptying her glass in one gulp.

“Bartender, another!”.

“*chuckles* I fear that we are both here for the same reason.”.

“And what would that be, pray tell?”.

There was no need for Clorinde to answer, as the man himself clearly knew what she meant. It hasn’t been too long ago since you announced that you were getting engaged to none other than your boyfriend of three years. When Wriothesley first received the news, he was devastated. He knew fully well of the consequences of his own actions, he chose to let you go, so why now..? It took days for Sigewinne, the head nurse of the prison to drag him out of the office to get some fresh air.

“You need not say anything, Wriothesley. Sigewinne was the one who told me that you are here, after she managed to get you out of your office. I understand how she feels about you being cooped up in the office, drowning in paperwork. But most importantly, I get how you feel about all of this…”.

There wasn’t anything that could ever escape this perceptive woman’s eyes, it wasn’t a farfetch that she would become the bodyguard of Fontaine’s President as well as the strongest champion fencer of the country. Behind all of these positions, Clorinde and Navia Caspar, the heiress of Spina di Rosula were both yours and his most loyal friends since the day you guys met in university. Ever supportive of your relationship, the women held onto the hope that you two would eventually get together, however, all hope had been dashed when you announced that you were getting together with this random dude that your parents had matchmake for you. Navia berated Wriothesley for not making the first move when he had the chance but in the end, she understood why he did it. Although she was still disappointed at the outcome, she still supported your decision as long as you're happy with it. Clorinde too. However, the shock and surprise that they felt from your sudden engagement was too much for them to handle.

They were one of the first few to know about some issues that you had with your current boyfriend in your second year of the relationship. The small issues then have already converted to big issues, so why on earth did you agree to his proposal? The only person who was out of the loop was the man beside her, Clorinde sighed. She understood why you didn’t want to let the man know because of how hot-headed he will become, yet she still wished that there was something more she could do for you.

“..So? Will you be attending?”.

“I.. I will be there.”.

“Why the sudden hesitation?”. (Oh you know damn well why, ma’am.).

He chose to ignore the question posted at him, instead turning back his focus to the drink before him. Unsatisfied with his attempt to escape, the female posted another question as a statement.

“Navia and I will be helping [Name] pick a wedding dress at the bridal shop some time this weekend, of course the groom will also be present.”, the sudden mention of your name immediately made him return his attention back to the woman beside him.

Knowing how much he still cares about you, she downed her drink with much vigor and immediately stood up causing the chair to scratch against the floorboard, catching the man off guard.

“I know [Name] will be very happy if you came, so I hope to see you there?”.

With that she left him alone with his own thoughts.

“*sigh* What a pain in the arse..”.

->>>>>>>>>

  The day before the wedding, you and your fiance were set to meet up at the wedding venue to do some final checks and retire for the night in the accommodation provided by the hotel. With some spare time available, you decided to pay the Spina di Rosula a visit with Clorinde in tow. 

Against the better of your own judgement, you had agreed to your fiance’s proposal months ago. You understood how shocked your two friends were when you told them your decision, you understood where they were coming from with everything that had happened. However, you had your reasons. Your parents had undergone a heavy debt after losing their money to a scam investment, you, their only daughter with a career at the government office was actually financially able to help pay off your parent’s incurring debt but the thing is, they didn’t believe that you were able to secure a job as an official employee. You weren't very close to your parents after all, maybe that was why you could relate with Wriothesley just a little. They always hound you to provide for them, more so now after you found a job, saying something along the lines of having to return the favour for how they raised you and what not. So guess what they did? They found an unknown partner for you, rich enough to pay off their debt for them because he ‘likes’ you.

You were honestly skeptical about this arrangement but there was nothing you could do. The first meeting turned out to be pretty okay, so that was why you went along with it. What you didn't realize at the time was how your best friend felt about all of this, not until Clorinde told you (not the full truth). That was why you tried to reach out to him, in any way you could, unaware of the feelings he harboured for you.

After chatting over a warm cup of tea and some macarons made by your dear friend, you left the two to their own devices and made your way towards Hotel Debord to meet up with your fiance. Along the way, there was someone striking who caught your eye. There was no way you would have forgotten those raven and grey tufts of hair that you used to admire from afar, how the ends curled to look like dog ears will always be something you find cute from such an intimidating and refined man. Catching sight of your stare, the man in question lifted himself up from his leaning position against his motorbike and began walking towards you with a helmet in hand. With each stride he took, your heart began to beat faster. Oh how you missed this feeling, this feeling that you yearned for to be reciprocated but could never.

‘Stupid me, there’s no way.. I’m too far gone.’, you chided yourself for having such thoughts.

Putting your feelings aside, you calmed your erratic heartbeat and gave him the brightest smile you could master.

“You came at last. I was waiting for you, Wrio.”.

He missed the way his nickname sounded with your sweet voice, but alas there will be no more of such interactions after tomorrow. Sucking in a breath, Wriothesley lifted the hand that had the helmet and handed it to you. Smiling softly, you took it with gratitude and understanding. The corner of his eyes softened at your gesture, he finally said.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting, my lady. Care for one final ride around the city on this trusty old boy for old times sake?”.

Chuckling at his antics, you took his outstretched hand.

“Sure, why not. For old times sake.”.

With that, the two of you took a quick ride around the city. Hidden in the shadows of two buildings were Navia and Clorinde, who were both keeping watch over both of you, ensuring that no one would come and disturb this peaceful time.

The next day.. You fell asleep the night prior pretty easily, perhaps the ride that Wriothesley took you on was a great way to calm your nerves. You were getting ready in the hotel room, with the help of two other bridesmaids, who were Chiori and Charlotte, you were starting to look like a bride. Amidst the banters and laughter on such a joyous occasion, something sinister seems to be lurking by. All the guests should have arrived by now, so it was about time for you to make an entrance. However, your groom-to- be was nowhere in sight. Last night he was here with you in this very room, this morning too.. So where in the world could he have gone..? A sense of dread had crept up your spine as you continued waiting, your friends were busy with handling the guests, thus leaving you alone with your thoughts. Time was ticking and the groom still isn’t here, so you decided to step out for a bit and look around the area. He couldn’t be far, you told yourself. He could be mingling with the guests and forgot the time, you assured yourself. He- ?!

The next thing you knew, you were already running down the hallway of the hotel. Navia was just about to head back up and check on you before catching sight of you running towards a different direction, surprised and worried she called for her two bodyguards, Melus and Silver to investigate the direction which you came from and figure out what you saw. After her two trusted associates were gone, she quickly called Clorinde to inform her of the situation. The team then split up with Navia catching up to her bodyguards, Clorinde and a few others dealing with the guests and lastly, leaving Wriothesley to chase after you. With a racing heart, the man dashed at the speed of light to every place he believed you would visit, to every nook and cranny he could find, hoping to find you before you did anything unthinkable. Wriothesley always had a bad gut feeling about your fiance, he tried to stop you, tried to warn you but you never listened. He didn’t know why you were so adamantly stubborn about this, he wished you could speak your mind and just share whatever like how you always did with Navia and Clorinde.

“Have you found her?”.

“Not yet.”.

“Shit, this is getting more troublesome than it's worth.”.

“Have you gals' figured out what’s up?”.

“*sigh* Navia did and… I’m not sure if you want to hear this..”.

He could feel his breath hitched in his throat…

“Just say it, Clorinde.”.

“*sigh* That cheater had planned on eloping with his new girlfriend and… [Name] caught them making out in the lobby..”.

He could feel his blood starting to boil in his veins, his fists clenched so tight that his knuckles turned white but then he faltered. The news had infuriated him, he wanted to return right this instance to give him a beat down but something else had caught his attention amidst the chaos in his heart. He finally found you…

“I-I’ve found her..”.

“Oh thank the archons-”, he didn’t let the female on the other end finish before ending the call and slowly trudged towards your sobbing form.

You didn’t know why you were crying this hard, you shouldn’t be and yet.. You should have expected this, you shouldn’t have taken the risk. But now you have gotten too deep into this hell hole that you have carved yourself. You had unexpectedly fallen in love with the man that you were supposed to hate because of your family. Tears continued to flow uncontrollably down your already drenched cheeks, your make-up was ruined, everything was ruined. You were too ashamed to face your friends, Navia and Clorinde who had supported you throughout despite their disapproval and lastly, the man whom you called your best friend but had failed to ever truly rely on when you needed him the most because of your pride.

Your sobs were disrupted by sudden footsteps heading your way, you didn’t dare to turn around to see who it was, ashamed and not wanting them to see your ugly side. You soon broke down again the moment you were enveloped in a familiar warmth and scent, the scent that you had missed oh so much, the scent of the man you knew that you no longer have the right to love, the man who has always been the one hidden deep within your heart…

“Hey Sweetheart, it’s alright to cry. There is no need to apologize for anything, Clorinde had told me everything. I wish that you would just lean on me once, do I seem that unreliable in your eyes?”.

…

“No matter where and when, you are always welcome to have me as a listening ear. I’ll always be by your side, just like back then.”.

…

“Hey, remember what you told me? I’ll repeat those words again and again, I care about you. Even if no one does, I still care about you.”.

…

“Let’s go home, our home.”.

                                        - The Way Home -

[broodwolf221]

happy friday! how about felassan x solas with "i never gave up on you." from the deep conversations list? feel free to make it poly with mythal, andruil and/or morrigan, whatever you're feeling!

@dadrunkwriting - significant da4 spoilers! thank you for this! honestly, it kinda went off the rails and i am :) in pain :) these two...... 1378 words cws: none

He had never been a child.

A spirit did not have a comparable period. Mortal beings were children who grew, matured, and became as the adults who had created them.

He had never been a child, but there was a time that, looking back, he felt young. Wisdom had observed for so long, long enough to believe it understood. It had not wanted to take form, but never in its protests did it consider matters of personal maturity.

Freshly rendered into a new, unfamiliar form, Wisdom had stumbled like a newborn. But it was no longer only Wisdom. The confidence in its agreement, the belief that it understood what it was consenting to, the conviction that no longer would anything take it off guard… Wisdom had always been Pride in its self-assurance. And it was Pride in its folly, in its agreement, in its willingness.

Solas was born that day. Not a child, no, but not mature, either.

There was so much he did not understand. And in those early days, he thought he could have it all—morality and impact; ethics and change; love and trust—and found each lesson otherwise a deep wound, coring through not just what he had become, but what it had originally been. Each moment that Wisdom was proven naive in the face of reality and action rather than observation was another hard lesson.

Mythal had ever been primary in his eyes. Benevolence and Wisdom had existed in harmonious tandem for so long, after all. But Mythal was not alone in his regard; over time, he came to appreciate many others.

Elgar'nan had been first to take form, Mythal following to try and quell his insatiable Command. But more came after Solas. Dirthamen and Falon'Din first, a single spirit that came into the world and tried to take form but cracked in the doing, a near tragedy. He could recall Mythal's despair and Elgar'nan's rare fear as clearly as his own horror. As horrified by what this additional emergence meant as he was by how it had gone wrong.

The spirit cracked and strained and, desperate, each grabbed for the power from the earth, and in the wake of one spirit came two bodies. A price doubly paid. Others had followed, drawn forth by Elgar'nan or Mythal or their own desires, and the toll on the earth became ever higher. He regretted taking flesh so many times, too often to possibly tally, but he knew that Mythal had been right. She was necessary to keep Elgar'nan in check, and if she believed she needed Solas' support to do so, then he would not spurn her. He just wished…

Well. He wished many things were different.

However, there was one thing that he could not bring himself to wish had never come to pass. Spirits who took form were not the only beings in existence, after all; there were those who Elgar'nan sought to rule, the Elvhen. Powerful in magic, they were a race of beings who seemed to have an instinctual relationship with spirits, perhaps because their own lives were so long. Even those who passed did not die like mortal creatures did, but sank into a deep, endless slumber.

The Elvhen were something between the mortal creatures and the spirits themselves, and as such, it had seemed obvious for the altered spirits to take on a form that paid homage to this seeming intermediary. And the Elvhen themselves interested Solas.

It was rare that he left Mythal's side, but when he did, there was one Elvhen who always found him. Felassan.

It had taken Solas a long time to understand. Friendship was a familiar word but an unfamiliar feeling. Even as close as he was with Mythal, he would classify them as something else, something unique. They orbited each other eternally, equal parts bound and liberated by the presence of the other. But Felassan and Solas… this was a choice.

He chose.

They spoke of many things. Felassan asked questions, Solas answered, and Felassan teased him. It had confused Solas at first, this behavior; then for a time it had wounded him and he had withdrawn. But Felassan had found him tucked away and reached out with a big smile that only fell when Solas met his eyes. They had spoken, then. Solas had learned that not all words were meant. It was a strange concept, one he half believed to be a trick, and he asked for time.

In that time—time which Felassan granted him—he observed. It was his core nature, to observe, but this time he paid attention not just to what the Elvhen did, but to what they said. He heard this teasing among them.

So he found Felassan again. Found him preoccupied, bent over a book and frowning at it. Solas took his time, formulated the phrase, weighed it in his mind, before approaching softly. Felassan did not stir. "You seem to be struggling," he noted, smiling as Felassan jumped with a bit-off curse, "perhaps you need another pair of eyes?"

"What do you—" he turned to stare at Solas, then grinned and shoved at him. "You're terrible. How many eyes are you offering?"

"As many as are needed," he shot back dryly. He found that he enjoyed this repartee.

He found he enjoyed much about Felassan.

No longer was it Wisdom and Felassan. Nor was it Pride. It was specifically Solas, the being that he was becoming, with Felassan, the being who already knew himself. This was the closest Solas came to having a childhood, learning the ways of something that was not a spirit. And he learned much from Felassan.

He grew to trust him. He knew himself trusted in turn. And as years turned into decades, as the Evanuris gathered power, as those he had once known grew twisted with might and the seeking of more, he found himself relying on Felassan in ways he had never expected to. And always the man was there. He was Solas' friend.

He was so much more.

This, too, Solas was learning. Mythal called him love. He knew the word, knew its meaning, knew what followed when it was said. Knew the way flesh met flesh, knew the way hands were held, knew the way that people chose to twine their lives together. Some of this he could find with her, but not all, parts denied them both courtesy of their roles, for she was bound to Elgar'nan—not out of love, but out of necessity.

What he did not expect was to find the same with Felassan.

The first time he reached out and held the other man's hand, Felassan had been surprised. Then he had blushed and drawn closer, leaning his head on Solas' shoulder. As Solas' protests crystallized into an emergent rebellion, Felassan was always at his side. Solas grew to rely on him more and more.

Wisdom learned, though. Wisdom learned his lessons well. And when Wisdom learned that reliance could be a weakness, that what was right could be waylaid by what one felt about another, that choice could become compromise when it needed to stand on its own, he realized that what they had was unsustainable.

It was beautiful. It was impossible.

He withdrew once more, and this time, it was not because he was wounded. Instead, he was wounding. Felassan became his second in command rather than his everything. They had their roles to play.

Solas betrayed his best friend, his love, so as to not betray his rebellion. And in the end, he could never feel as though he had not betrayed them both.

The lyrium dagger, the Titans. Mythal's death—his fault—and his imprisonment of the Evanuris. His wounded slumber, impossible to deny but cruel beyond words, abandoning in full the one who had always stood at his side. And when he returned at last to waking, when he witnessed the world that his actions had forged, and when he eventually found his way back to the lighthouse that had served his rebellion for so long, he found in his den a scrap of paper.

He read it, and he wept.

I never gave up on you, Wolf.

— The Slow Arrow

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Someone is eager to see Mafia Mamma and that someone is me. So anyway.

When a twenty-two year old Steve Harrington gets the call, he isn't in the best spot in his life. Sure, he survived all the Upside Down crap, but his parents finally had enough of his so-called trauma ("the earthquake was bad, Steven, but you can't let that influence your life forever! It's like you're not even trying!"). He didn't get to college and his love life is abysmal, but hey, at least he does something useful now - he's training to be a paramedic and he lives in a small, old flat, regularly calling Robin and his gaggle of kids and hanging out with Eddie whenever possible. So maybe it's not the best spot in life, but it's his.

Well, apparently his great-uncle that his mother never really talked about died and asked that Steve takes over the family business in his will. Family business that is in Italy. Cool.

Look, Steve likes first aid, saving lives and all that, but, after the second shared joint with Eddie, admits he's curious. No one said it has to be forever, but maybe it would help him to try something else for a change. Eddie absolutely approves, squeezes Steve's shoulder, but - a little sadly, it seems to Steve - admits he's going to miss the only person who went through all the shit and stuck around. He even jokes he'll hide in Steve's suitcase and will go to Italy with him. "You know, somewhere far away from the Satanist rep. Well, Vatican is there so that's not ideal, but maybe with no murders and levitation this time, I'd just pass as the weird American?" And without thinking, Steve blurts out: "Come with me."

They land in Italy with almost nothing, Eddie with a beat up backpack and his guitar ("not even death or other fucked up dimensions will us part, Steve!"), Steve with a sports bag full of clothes and graduation pics of his kids plus Robin and Nancy, and his trusted hair spray. He really, really wanted to take his spiked bat, but apparently that would be a hazard on the plane. Go figure.

And of course, the "family business" is full of black suits, guns, rapid Italian threats and on top of that, the other families know that the old head of the family is gone and they smell the blood in the water. Especially when the new leader is barely an adult who looks more like a model than a criminal. And his friend who looks like a criminal? That one looks more like a petty thief or vandal than an actual mafia member. Now is their time to strike.

Turns out, that wasn't the best idea. Not when the doe-eyed metalhead grabs the nearest chair and smashes it repeatedly over the assailant's head while yelling "I-DID-NOT-SURVIVE-BEING-CHEWED-ON-TO-DIE-TO-A-FUCKING-BULLET-YOU-MOTHERFUCKER!" while the new boss reaches for the nearest lamp and, like a bloody ninja, renders three assassins unconscious, then setting down the bloodied rod (goodbye, lamp shade and light bulb) and tells his advisor that he wants a baseball bat, a hammer and a bunch of nails. For...reasons.

They gradually settle in. Steve excels in keeping his family in line by adopting his best mom pose, hands on hips, while sternly uttering "What did we say about excessive violence, Francesco? Hm? If you start there, what do you do when you need to escalate? Why do you start with the worst? And they call me dumb." When his bodyguard cocks his gun and asks who called him dumb and where do they live, Eddie snorts into his coffee. (also Steve later apologizes to Francesco for calling him dumb, but also adds that rules are made to be followed, especially those that save a lot of blood and pain)

As for Eddie, without the academic pressure he becomes and unstoppable language student. He's like a sponge, being semi-fluent while Steve struggles with basic phrases. They study together and Eddie begins feeling more confident, takes up more languages and slowly starts functioning as Steve's interpreter and teacher in one. Also a bit more, when they have to evade another assassination attempt and Steve finds himself laying on top of Eddie, on the ground where he pulled him to save him from a nasty punch, and no one comments on it when they get up a few seconds too late, their lips and faces red.

Eventually Steve becomes fluent as well and that's when Eddie experiences the best time of his life - when they walk together in a market, bodyguards giving them just a little bit of privacy, and someone spits on the ground behind them - "stupid American." But before Eddie can react, Steve throws a bitchy look at the offender and says in perfect Italian: "and you look like a poorly shaved goat, yet I'm not judging."

Eddie howls in laughter and nudges Steve's side. "Careful, Stevie. I might think you don't need a teacher anymore."

Steve wraps his arm around Eddie's waist. In here, surrounded by the bodyguards and his family, he can finally do that. "Maybe not. But I'll always need a boyfriend. Wanna apply?"

[sciencebecameouraddiction]

my own alastor headcanons…

warnings: discussion and mention of abuse, hell, killing, racism

note: i am also getting through my asks. i promise. ☺️

second note: these are just my own head canons. things i’ve noticed, how i write alastor, what plays into why i write al the way i do… etc. purely my own opinion.

- you know the whole thing hurt people, hurt people… at the core that’s who alastor is.

- he was a mommas boy and loved his mom so much

- his father was abusive, physically, mentally and emotionally

- his father would hit his mother and alastor

- many people turned a blind eye, this taught alastor to never trust anyone and that it’s just you for yourself at a very young age

- finally, alastor was tired of seeing his mother upset and hurt so while his father was asleep he killed him. alastor was 13-15 at the time.

- i believe that alastor’s mom is in heaven

- i also believe that she helped alastor hide the body of his father. in the same bayou that alastor used when he buried his victims

- his mom never knew there was anyone else alastor killed after his father.

- after killing his dad, he started down a slippery slope. he liked the power he felt when he had control over someone’s life or death. it was all in his hands

- but alastor has been said to have a unique moral code

- so i think he would kill any adult, but it was those that were distasteful

- the fathers who were abusive, the men who preyed upon women, the women who tore families apart just because, the mothers who were abusive

- he’s the equal opportunity killer and if you’re a shitty person you were on his radar.

- he got into voodoo to help his mom

- his mom got sick, nothing could cure her, he felt helpless, weak, so he turned to something that could help when praying didn’t. voodoo didn’t help either, but it was already too late… you know what they say about power corrupting you and when you make a deal… they stick

- ladies man, little fucking flirt, charming, suave, disarming. you’d want to take him to meet your momma

- he never married in his human life, chalked up to never finding the right girl.

- no one met his momma when he was alive. like girls just weren’t brought, people just weren’t brought to meet his momma. if you met her through alastor, you were very very special to him

- never happened though!

- he had the most gorgeous southern accent when he was a young man before getting into radio.

- he was told to loose it after the first broadcast. so he adopted the transatlantic accent we hear, to be more palatable to white listeners in the south. i mean, he was given an opportunity of a life time “especially for someone like him.”

- he went to church every sunday with his mom until she died. he’s very very knowledgeable about the bible

- just intelligent over all. likes reading, very meticulous, detail oriented, sharp and quick witted.

- he is deep deep deep down insecure. buried under years of acting like he’s the shit; pretending he’s amazing and the self assured confidence needed to be the radio host he was. this only became buried deeper when he went to hell.

- having someone who is supposed to protect you tear you down when you’re a kid does shit to you. (his dad)