#because he totally lived and they lived happily ever after

[porcelainmortal]

2024 Fic Writing Roundup

This is so fun!! Thanks for the tags, @cha-melodius @firenati0n, @onthewaytosomewhere, and the open tag @caterpills.

Getting to this late because I wanted to wait until my final fic of the year went live. I posted fics every month except January, which I'm super proud of. I've posted 27 fics (86 if you count ficlets and drabbles separately) with a total word count of 218,348, which is INSANE to me!! Especially knowing how many unfinished WIPs curently live on my Drive (around 80k worth) 🫣 AND the fact that before joining this fandom, I hadn't written much in many, many years.

So let's dive in!

JANUARY

busy writing but no posting!

FEBRUARY

a valentine for Alex (rated E | 1,968 words) post-canon Valentine's Day smut with lots of feelings when the curtains call the time (rated E | 27,916 words) angsty college au exes-to-lovers (no, not that one) with a bit of a love triangle being enough (rated T | 551 words) post-canon conversation re: Alex's bisexuality and Henry's insecurity handy for a handyman (rated E | 6,329 words) handyman!Alex part 1 - Alex is working construction at Henry's brownstone; Henry panics when he sees Alex shirtless and wishes he would pound something aside from the carpet

MARCH

a brit in Brooklyn (rated E | 6,689 words) handyman!Alex part 2 - Alex and Henry go on their first real date, feelings move in it happened on a lake (rated E | 18,967 words) Alex is at the family lake house, Henry is renting the house across the cove; when David assists in a meet cute, sparks fly - but how can a vacation fling possibly last??

APRIL

falling in a 5+1 (rated E | 10,600 words) handyman!Alex part 3 - five times Alex is unsure how Henry feels about him, and one time he knows the song of alex & henry (rated T | 1,062 words) firstprince reads TSOA; lots of feelings ensue

MAY

why do you call me baby? (rated M | 3,625 words) Alex figures out he's bi, decides to sow his wild oats, and meets Henry, who swiftly ruins all his plans Vegas, Baby (rated M | 12,735 words) Alex and Henry meet in Vegas, get drunk, and get married! Small complication: Henry lives in London and doesn't even know Alex.

JUNE

move your body (rated E | 2,500 words) post-canon dancing and smut inspired by the song "Lube" by Adam Lambert (I blame the Discord server) Saturdays are for the boys (rated E | 1,813 words) more post-canon smut, posted as the fandom's 10,000th fic! find me here and speak to me (rated E | 13,131 words) Alex is happily married when he meets his soulmate Henry Friday, i'm in love (rated E | ficlets) a collection of ficlets from Ficlet Fridays - 23 in total posted between June and September.

JULY

perineyum (rated E | 2,500 words) Alex tricks Henry into trying a stupid wellness trend; the result is introspective rimming, outdoors edition

AUGUST

take my hand and let it spin (rated T | 1,000 words) a collection of drabbles - 10 in total - written for Tumblr prompts! right here, right now (rated E | 3,333 words) a night out dancing with a coworker/friend turns into a bisexual speed run and fun, playful smut the bartender and the blond (rated M | 9,999 words) slow burn romance

SEPTEMBER

i'm known for giving love away (rated E | 16,866 words) shy, sheltered Henry celebrates his 25th birthday with a visit to the strip club and best friend/wingman ever Pez buys him a lap dance with Alex Claremont-Diaz, part-time stripper and full-time law student cool for the summer (rated M | 1,500 words) drinking + teasing = relationship

OCTOBER

Freaktober (rated E | 14,475 words) my version of Kinktober with a Halloween twist! 20 smutty fics over 25 days. WHEW!! faith, trust, and pixie dust (rated M | 5,810 words) when Alex convinces his roommate Henry to dress in a couples' costume for the annual Okonjo Foundation Fundraising Gala, love confessions are inevitable

NOVEMBER

mad love. (rated E | 31,313) college au, exes-to-lovers angstfest with a happily ever after and a yummy topping of smut (including bottom Alex!) smutsgiving 2024 (rated E | 100 word drabble) a smutty drabble that's mostly feelings

DECEMBER

wrapped up in music & lyrics (rated M | 1,000 words) Spotify Wrapped drabbles, lots of angst and sadness, all canon-compliant, 10 in total what if we just fall? (rated E | 4,565 words) Alex and Henry are roommates who occasionally share a bed and apparently, feelings for each other... it's a smutfest, folks wrapped in red (rated M | 4,029 words) post-canon Christmas vignettes through the boys' first ten years together

A MASSIVE thank you to everyone who read, kudos'd commented, reblogged, etc. - all of that interaction kept me going. This year was hard and I only made it through bc of this fandom and all my new friends. ILY all. 💕

An open tag as always, but also tagging below the cut!!

@anincompletelist @blueeyedgrlwrites @cactusdragon517 @cricketnationrise @faketrex

@freyjaexplores @getmehighonmagic @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @iboatedhere @inexplicablymine

@kiwiana-writes @littlemisskittentoes @myheartalivewrites @nocoastposts @priincebutt

@rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse @stellarmeadow @tailsbeth-writes @thesleepyskipper

@theprinceandagcd @thighzp @whimsymanaged @wordsofhoneydew

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU!! ✨

[crazycurly-77]

The best Christmas ever

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas!!!

Christmas...the celebration where families come together - including at NCIS.

Tim, Tony, Abby and Ducky all had plans and were already on Christmas vacation. The only ones still in the office working on their reports were you and Gibbs.

It was like that every year, actually, since neither of you had a family. You went to Christmas parties and he built his boat alone in his basement.

Like every year, you packed your things in the afternoon, stood in front of his desk and asked: "What are you doing for Christmas?"

And like every year, he ignored you.

With a heavy heart, you quietly wished him a Merry Christmas and finally left.

You would probably both be alone again this year on the holidays and that thought hurt you.

Especially because you were both alone and could actually keep each other company and because you couldn't imagine anything better than spending Christmas with him.

To be honest, you had had a crush on him for a while and it seemed to be mutual, but he would never do anything.

This thought gave you an idea...

...this Christmas neither of you would spend alone, you would make sure of that. Whether he wanted to or not.

So you decided to "ambush" him and spend Christmas with him.

Since you didn't know what groceries he had in the house, you went shopping first. Then you drove to your apartment, packed some clothes and some of your Christmas decorations and then drove to Gibbs' house.

His truck wasn't in the driveway yet, so he was still at the office. Great, then you could decorate the house and cook the food. He would be amazed when he got home!!!

Totally excited with anticipation, you went into his house and got to work, because there was a lot to do.

Set up and decorate the tree, decorate the house, bake cookies and cook food.

The radio played Christmas songs to which you happily sang and danced and you were finished sooner than you thought.

Hopefully you hung a sprig of mistletoe over each door and looked at them with a deep sigh...it would be soooo nice if they would work their magic...

...but that remained to be seen. In fact you could be happy if he didn't throw you out as soon as he saw what you had done in his home.

You already had a present for him - a Rough Rider knife, like the ones President Roosevelt's men had.

A blacksmith friend had made it for you and you lovingly placed it under the tree for Gibbs.

Then you decided to sit on his couch and wait for him...and after a while you fell asleep.

When Gibbs came home late that night, he was surprised because there was a wreath made of fir branches hanging on his door. Who was that? It was hard to say, but he would definitely find out.

As a precaution, he drew his gun and quietly entered his home. But when he walked through the front door, he immediately stopped in amazement.

Everything was beautifully decorated and it smelled wonderful of Christmas and baked cookies.

There was a Christmas tree in the living room and mistletoe was hung over all the doors...it hadn't looked this festive in a long time. Who had done that?

But then his gaze fell on the couch where you were curled up and sleeping.

He approached carefully and had to laugh quietly when he saw a bit of flour on your nose. That was probably from baking the cookies, which smelled so delicious that his mouth was watering.

He would have loved to gently brush the flour away, but he had to pull himself together and keep his distance. He couldn't give in to his desires. So he let it go.

At first he wanted to wake you up and ask what you were doing there, but he decided otherwise.

He went into the kitchen to get a beer. Then he noticed the cookies and the Chili con Carne that you had cooked for that evening. Both smelled very delicious and he carefully tried them... they tasted wonderful.

He ate a little more with relish, then he took his beer and a few cookies, sat down next to you on the couch and decided to wait until you woke up again.

He watched you and imagined what it would be like to live with you. He had done that so many times before, but he would never have dared to dream that one day he would actually find you sleeping in his house. He would love to see this every day from now on, but what would you say if you found out about his thoughts and wishes?

You would certainly be shocked, he thought wistfully. But maybe there was still a little hope that his biggest Christmas wish would come true. It was actually very simple and yet it seemed unattainable because he wanted nothing more than you and a life with you.

He would have liked to watch you sleep for a while longer, but then you woke up.

You opened your eyes sleepily. What time was it? You looked around in search of a clock and then your gaze fell on the foot of the couch you were lying on...

...and realized that you were no longer alone.

Suddenly a little shy, you looked carefully at Gibbs and waited for his reaction to your presence and your work.

But he just smiled kindly and said: “Your cookies are very tasty. But I'm afraid I ate half of them while you were sleeping.”

“Thank you,” you whispered quietly. It was nice that he liked them, but somehow you expected him to explode with anger. But he was always good for a surprise and did exactly the opposite.

Then he asked gently: "What are you doing here?"

“Oh dear, now it’s time. Now it’s happening. Now I have to confess and he’s going to be mad,” you thought to yourself.

So you answered him sheepishly that you just wanted to give him a nice Christmas.

He almost laughed out loud and then hugged you. But you wouldn’t want that, would you?

He had to fight for his self-control, cleared his throat and suggested eating something.

You gave in, got up and followed him to the kitchen. But when you got there, he suddenly stopped. He turned to you, cupped your cheek, looked deep into your eyes and kissed you.

It was unbelievable. It was like fireworks were exploding and when he let go of you, he smiled at you and whispered: “Merry Christmas.”

Smiling blissfully, you could only reply: “Merry Christmas.” Then you set the table together, ate the Chili con Carne and planned how you would prepare the goose together tomorrow.

After that you sat under the tree and talked about all sorts of things until the early hours of the morning.

“It’s already 02:00 a.m. Do you want to open your presents?” you asked him.

“Yes, of course. But please wait a moment and close your eyes until I tell you that you can open them,” he suddenly answered excitedly.

What was he planning?

You nodded in surprise and closed your eyes. Whatever he was planning, you would soon find out.

After a short while you heard his gentle voice: “Open your eyes.” You slowly opened your eyes...and there were several squirrels standing in front of you!!!

They were carved out of wood and sooo cute!!!

As a squirrel fan, you were absolutely overwhelmed and threw your arms around his neck with a cry of joy: “Thank you!!! They are fantastic!!”

He caught you laughing: “I'm glad you like them.”

“Oh yes, and how!!! But just a minute, I have something for you too!”

With a broad grin, you gave him the small package, whose wrapping paper he mercilessly ripped open. When he saw what it was, he was absolutely speechless.

“I was missing one of those, thank you!” he replied with a smile and his eyes sparkled.

You lowered your eyes modestly and said: “You know, I've wanted to give it to you for a long time, but I didn't dare.”

“Then I'm glad you did it now,” he replied. “You know, I've wanted to give you the squirrels for a long time, but I thought you wouldn't accept them.”

That shocked you: “Yes, of course! You made them!”

He nodded: “Yes, hand-carved. And I'm very happy about the knife. But if I'm honest, I only have one Christmas wish...”

“And what is that?” you wanted to know.

He beckoned you closer and whispered in your ear: “All I want and wish for is you.”

Then he leaned back again, grinned broadly at you and your cheeks glowed. You hadn't expected that at all. He went straight for it. That was a bit sudden and overwhelming.

Your heart was beating wildly and threatened to jump out of your chest and he waited patiently.

Then you gathered all your courage and said: “I love your squirrels, but if I'm honest, I only want one thing for Christmas...”

This time it was his turn to ask: “And that would be?”

First you made him wait, then you grinned broadly and answered: “You!”

“Very good!” he called out, laughing.

You've been sneaking around each other long enough, it was time to finally make this wish of you both come true.

Because you already knew that you were THE ONE for each other when you first saw each other.

Then he pulled out another small present from behind his back and asked you to open it.

You carefully unpacked it and there appeared…another hand-carved squirrel! But what was that? It was wearing a ring with a little diamond!

You looked at him questioningly and he asked gently: “Do you want me?”

Fascinated, you looked into his beautiful eyes, in which you could drown, and you breathed: “Yes!”

You smiled at each other, infinitely happy, and he gently put the ring on your finger. Then followed the most tender kiss ever shared, full of confidence and joy for a wonderful future.

You sat arm in arm under the festively decorated tree, kissing each other tenderly again and again, sharing your dreams and planning your future together as a couple.

The goose that you later prepared together was very tasty and of course you made good use of the many mistletoe branches and there was a Christmas kiss under every door.

The End

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Masterlist stories - Part 1 (finished ones)

Masterlist stories - Part 2 (finished/ongoing)

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Tags: @ilovemark1951, @hobby27

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[littlesapphicraccoonguy]

Adam tries to surprise Lawrence at work(GONE WRONG! NOT CLICKBAIT!!)

[javierduffy]

but when they're out on that river bank alone, what javier should be loyal to doesn't feel as confusing anymore

[dazzle02]

TW: Self Harm and Suicide

Imagine the 118 getting a call to a house for a suicide attempt. It's a teenager, maybe 13. She's hurt herself badly, maybe she hadn't meant for it to be as bad as it was. But her parents are not happy. And not in the sense that they're worried because their daughter just potentially tried to kill herself, but they're actually upset with her.

And they start saying about how she's been hurting herself lately, but it's just for attention. (You know, that horrible thing some people say about SH...) That she's not actually got any problems, she just wants attention.

And they're all pretty pissed at the parents, but they're trying to be professional, because they have to be.

But Buck just snaps. He was a kid who was hurting himself to get his parents attention. And it was awful for him. It severely damaged his psyche. To this day he still struggles to deal with people not giving him the right attention. So he knows how this kid must feel.

And so maybe he snaps at the parents, or maybe he just totally shuts down.

Either way, the rest of the 118 pick up on it. And it suddenly hits them what he was telling them all those years ago when he was telling them about his parents. It really hits them all that he was purposely hurting himself as a kid.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

FINISHED Y.AKUZA 3 BABYYYY! this shot kind of broke me ngl ajsjajsj the look in his eyes is just so....

(spoilers in the tags)

[theheadlessgroom]

@beatingheart-bride

"Sounds like Dorian alright," Randall chuckled; even as a boy, his best friend seemed to take any and all opportunities he found to try and throw a party, and although these attempts didn't always pan out, he still tried. Even as a child, Randall knew it wasn't because Dorian enjoyed being the center of these parties (unlike what some suspected), it was simply because he wanted everyone to have a good time drinking, dancing, playing party games, and just overall having fun, and that especially went for Randall, who got to enjoy some of these lavish get-togethers through Dorian, who always insisted his best friend and his mother get to join in.

(And who knew-maybe that'd still be the case once they made it to California; Dorian throwing parties. They'd probably be scaled down from the wildly over-the-tip ones held at Gracey Manor, of course, but he could see his dear friend still putting quite a few on for even the most minute of celebrations.)

"I wish I could see these dresses too," he smiled, brightening at the idea of making him and Emily matching outfits, and especially giving his all when it came to his bride's dresses; he'd never do anything by half when it came to her. It was a shame she couldn't have brought them back with her from the future, he really would've liked to see them (and see if he'd any gotten better post-mortem-Lord knew he had all the time in the world to practice and improve!)

"Did you, uh, have a favorite that I made, for a particular party, I mean?"

[abelflints]

me, vibing, listening to a random song about pushing your sibling off a cliff: hehehe. this reminds me of the bible story cain and abel, where cain betrays his brother abel by murdering him. 

me:....wait hold up--

I DON’T THINK THAT ABEL (flint) IS SOME KIND OF REINCARNATION OF MATTHIAS’S BROTHER THAT HE KILLED because that would really be a crack theory. 

but uhm.. hey guys i’m worried! i’m worried! 

[parchmentknight]

red dead redemption 2 spoilers below

genuinely just bawled my eyes out and cried so hard i was hiccuping over arthur morgan red dead... only way for me to survive this game is to make an arthur that lives in my brain so that i can tell him hes loved and not alone and wonderful in every way and watch the sun rise and set together.............. he cant die alone. im with him. he isnt dead. hes alive. hes happy. he has a loving family. there is a good ending.

[jingyi-ma-boi]

Meng Yao, the raging feral ball of issues that he is, reacts by panicking a lil bit cause FUCK. What do you mean these two now know he’s pregnant? This is exactly what people have always accused him of being —a whore whose achievements are dependent on opening his legs prettily. But also, he’s pregnant??? With Lan Xichen’s pup??? The man that made him feel like he was living in pure marital bliss in the middle of war???

He’s swooning because he knows that he can’t have that child if he wants his plans to go on, but the thought of erasing the only remaining proof of what he had during those days with that perfect, heavenly alpha that treated him as if Meng Yao was the one carved out from the purest jade makes him want to rip his own scent glands off and die choking on his own blood.

Nie Mingjue is frankly very confused about the look on Meng Yao’s face because he thinks he understands the distress that his deputy is feeling but he also knows that there must be a lot he’s missing on. And the souring of Meng Yao’s scent in that moment doesn’t help his confusion and maybe his hurt too, if you want to make this 3zun with a respectfully pining Nie Mingjue which yes, it definitely is like that, please and thank you. Confusion that stops Nie Mingjue from seeing the initial shock and elation that Lan Xichen seems to be feeling at first, after reuniting with the beautiful, strong, and incredibly smart omega that managed to make the best out of the worst moments of his life. And on top of that, it turns out that this precious man that got Lan Xichen’s heart soaring and singing at his every dimpled smile is bearing his child??? He wants to kiss him and scent him so badly and go run to wherever his uncle may be to tell him that he is marrying this man.

And then, he sees A-Yao’s face. And suddenly, he feels like all of the air has been punched out his lungs and he wants to throw up. What if Meng Yao hadn’t actually wanted to share his rut with him? What if it had all been a delusion concocted by his feverish lovesick head? He smells A-Yao’s distress and feels guilty, dirty and has the sudden urge of ripping his robes off, and letting Meng Yao claw at his chest and rip it open, so that he can yank his heart and guts out of Lan Xichen as punishment for his heinous crimes.

A/b/o au in which Nie Mingjue detects a drastic change in MY's scent during the Sunshot Campaign. Such great changes in the scent of an omega are often indicative of their condition: and Meng Yao is revealed to be pregnant.

Not knowing what to do, Nie Mingjue request Lan Xichen's assistance in broaching the subject to Meng Yao. However he fails to tell Lan Xichen exactly who his omegan deputy is.

So, when Lan Xichen realizes it is Meng Yao - the omega that shared his rut with whilst hiding from the Wen- who is pregnant, the only thing he can say is "A-Yao is carrying my child ⁉️"

[ellecdc]

How about a fic where Remus falls for reader who is Sirius’ sister? If Sirius freaks out with Regulus and James, just imagine how protective he would be with a sister! Specially if she is sweet and kind (totally opposite of him and Regulus)

will I ever make a sibling fic that isn't chaotic? no, likely not. also, I didn't exactly make her the opposite of Sirius and Regulus but it could be argued that she's better than them anyways. ALSO, I've always refrained from reader-inserts with Black!sister reader simply because I see her as Reggie's twin who looks the way he does, and also can't get beyond the fact that she would have a celestial name SO, in any Black!sister fics going forward, please note that her middle name will have been Soleil which is French for sun, and the boys call her Sunny as a nickname <3

Remus Lupin x Black!sister reader who he has fallen head over heels for [1.5k words]

CW: siblings, threats of murder

Most boys at some point in their lives will be asked the following question:

Are you a mummy’s boy, or a daddy’s boy?

If a boy wasn’t asked such a question, it was likely because the answer was painfully obvious.

“Little Lucius Malfoy is such a daddy’s boy.”

“That James Potter, such a mama’s boy”.

“Oh, sweet Peter Pettigrew, he has always been a mummy’s boy.”

Since the answer was so painfully obvious, neither Sirius Orion Black or Regulus Arcturus Black had ever been asked this question. For them, the answer was simple:

They were their sister’s boy’s.

It was this fact that made Remus Lupin’s current predicament so bloody difficult. 

“Where is she!?” Regulus barked as he stormed over to the Gryffindor table where Sirius was sitting beside James across from Remus and Peter.

“Goodmorning, Reggie.” Sirius offered instead of answering his brother.

“For Sala- hi, Sirius. Where is she?”

“Where is who?” 

“Your sister.” Regulus spat, causing Sirius’ brows to furrow as he chanced a look over his shoulder at his brother. 

“How is she my sister? She’s your twin.”

“Nevermind that, do you know where she is?” Regulus muttered.

Sirius sighed and stood from his seat to scan the Great Hall. 

“Nope.” He offered with a pop of the p before returning to his breakfast.

“I’m going to avada that meddling witch!” Regulus hissed as he stormed off; Remus, James, and Peter all watching after him as Sirius continued happily with his toast.

“Are….you not worried about her?” Peter asked cautiously then.

“Not really.” Sirius responded quickly. 

James let out a breath at that and shook his head in disbelief. “Siblings are weird, mate.”

“Thanks, Siri.” You chimed as your head popped up between James and Sirius; the former shrieking not unlike a displeased mandrake plant as he clutched at his chest. 

Neither you nor Sirius paid him any mind as Sirius nudged his plate closer to you so you could pick from it. 

“What’d you do now?” Sirius asked.

“I simply told one of Reg’s admirers that he was already seeing someone; I hardly see what all the fuss is about.” You offered simply, causing Sirius to look at you in bemusement and mutter “Reg is seeing someone?” at the same time James looked at you in horror and hissed “Reg has an admirer!?” 

You simply smirked and looked at Remus who was sitting across from you and shot him a wink.

He hoped to all get out that no one noticed the heat radiating in his cheeks as he smiled nervously down at his plate, though he was relatively certain he could feel a set of spectacled eyes burning a hole into the side of his head. 

“Wait, why do you look like that?” Sirius asked then, causing the table to look at him to see he was surveying your form.

“Like what?” You asked him slowly, looking down at your uniform as if to see what Sirius could possibly be talking about. 

“You look…like…nice.” Sirius muttered as if that was a particularly bad thing.

“I always look nice.” You argued then.

“That’s not true, you usually just look fine.”

“You’re such a git.” You spat, taking the piece of toast he had in his hand and taking a bite of it.

“Doesn’t she just usually only look fine?” Sirius asked then, and Remus was horrified to see he was looking at him. 

“Me?”

Sirius nodded impatiently as if saying “yeah? What about it?”

“Why are you asking me?” Remus asked somewhat shrilly. 

“You’re objective.”

“And Peter and James aren’t?���

Sirius huffed as he kicked Remus in the shin under the table. “Would you just answer the sodding question?”

“I…well,” and Remus looked at you - you, who always looked nothing short of lovely and radiant and dauntingly perfect in every way, and today had been no exception. But he couldn’t very well say that. “She…she looks fine, yeah.”

Sirius’ brows furrowed further as he turned back to look at you, and Remus tried to pretend he didn’t notice a brief look a hurt cross your features. “You do, though. Look lovely today, that is.” He added awkwardly, simply receiving a half-smile in response. 

“Sunny!” Regulus barked then; apparently having found his way back to the Great Hall in his search for you.

“Oh, Merlin and Morgana.” You grumbled as your head fell back in exasperation.

“What did you tell him?”

“Who?” Sirius and James parroted. 

“Sunny.” Regulus repeated, his gaze never moving from you as he sidled up behind you. “What did you tell him?”

“Oh, stop with the theatrics, Regulus; you’re embarrassing yourself.” You drawled, sounding like a true upper-classman as you refused to look at your twin. 

“What did you tell Fenwick?” He gritted out slowly in a way Remus was sure would make a lesser man cower, but you simply rolled your eyes at him. 

“I simply told him that he was grasping at billywigs because you were already seeing someone.” 

Regulus held your gaze as you raised your eyebrow at him. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” You hissed, completely unimpressed. 

“Who in the hells are you seeing?” Sirius asked then, causing the two of you to look over at him.

“Nevermind, Siri.” You responded in a bored tone around another bite of his toast.

“I will too mind, thank you very much! Who is my baby brother seeing!?”

“Oh relax, Sirius, there’s no need to call the DMLE; it’s not like Sunny’s seeing anyone.” He chuckled, causing Sirius to snort in laughter.

“That’s true.”

You made a disbelieving sound as you looked between your two brothers. “What in Merlin’s name is that supposed to mean?!”

“That means, my dear baby sister,” Sirius responded curtly as he yanked his toast back from you, “that you must never date, otherwise your big brother will end up in Azkaban.” 

“Oh give us a little credit, Sirius; we’d get away with it.” Regulus countered. 

“Why!?” You beseeched. 

“No one is good enough for you, obviously.” Sirius responded simply, as if you were quite ridiculous for even needing to ask. 

“And anyone who thinks otherwise will end up dead.” Regulus continued earnestly, causing James to bark a laugh.

“Don’t worry Moons, Pete and I will make sure your funeral is nice.” He said as he brought another spoon of cereal to his mouth.

Remus felt all blood drain from his face as everyone turned to look at him.

Regulus stared at him in a confused sort of horror, Peter looked at him with a sympathetically worried expression, Sirius didn’t look exactly horrified or disgusted as Remus had thought he would, but he definitely looked disturbed to some level, and you were looking at him with what he thought (and certainly hoped) was hopeful surprise.

James looked up at the silence to see everyone staring at Remus, whilst Remus just stared at him in betrayal.

“James!?” Remus whisper shouted; his voice having apparently run off along with his bollocks. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Regulus finally asked then, staring daggers at Remus as Sirius raised his hand slightly as if warning Regulus off of his best friend, though never removing his own scrutinising gaze from Remus. 

“James, what’d you mean by that?” Sirius asked James - eyes still glued to Remus.

“I, well, erm. I’m actually, not entirely sure? I just…well…”

“Do you fancy her, Moony?” Sirius whispered as if it was some horrid joke and so completely unfathomable that Remus could possibly find you as enchanting as he admittedly did. 

No, he wanted to say, of course not, Pads. That’s your baby sister, I’d never fall so head-over-heels for the sister of my best friend, that’s absurd. 

But that wouldn’t be true.

And he’d already been outed. 

His gaze moved to you and offered what he hoped was an apologetic smile before opening his mouth to respond. 

“Regulus is shagging James!” You blurted then, causing James to flinch so violently that his knees hit the bottom of the table top, and Regulus deflated severely from where he’d been staring down Remus like some well-trained guard-dragon. 

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Sirius shrieked then, turning to point his glare at someone other than Remus, finally.

Remus had been so caught up in the verbal volleying taking place between Sirius, Regulus, and James that he hadn’t noticed you had disappeared from your spot beside Sirius until you popped back up beside him and were encouraging him up by the sleeve of his uniform jumper.

And you looked so sweet and so lovely and so hopeful and so mischievous and Remus really was helpless in the pull you had on him, which saw him rushing out of the Great Hall with your hand in his as you dragged him away from your brothers and laughing all the while. 

So yeah, this made Remus Lupin’s current predicament incredibly bloody difficult.

Because if Sirius and Regulus were sister’s boys, you were your brothers’ girl.

And that made Remus Lupin a dead man walking.

[godessofbucky]

'The Handmaiden' (spoilers in the tags)

If I was forced to count the amount of time I saw boobs in 'The Handmaiden' then throw me in the river (jk, not fr) because I lost track already.

In all honesty though, this was a really great movie and I enjoyed.

Spoilers in the tags, go look at them if you want to see how I like the movie.

Just...don't get me started on her Uncle. I won't be able to stop, I promise you. The amount of times I wanted to jump in that screen and kill him for torture Hideko like that is more than I can count on my fingers.

[fandoms-x-reader]

Baby Daddies

Requested Anonymously

Headcannons

Summary: How would the Seven Demons Brothers be as fathers to babies. The Seven Demon Brothers x (Suggested Fem!) Reader A/N: They/Them pronouns but mentions of MC being pregnant

Lucifer is actually very good at raising babies.

He’ll blame it on the fact that he had tons of practice with raising his brothers.

But, anyone could see that he just had really good paternal instincts.

It will be a little bit of a challenge, to have a child with Lucifer.

He had so many responsibilities as Diavolo’s right-hand man; and, even though Diavolo never forced Lucifer to work, you knew those responsibilities were important to him.

So, you end up watching your baby most of the time while he spends long days working.

If it’s stuff he can do in his study, Lucifer will happily ask you to stay in the room with him.

He’ll play with your baby in between doing his paperwork and when it comes to a point where he could take a break, he immediately scoops your baby into his arms.

He’ll walk around the office, holding your baby and you have to stifle a laugh at some of the things that come out of mouth ~ it is definitely out of character for Lucifer.

He’ll walk towards you and place a gentle kiss on your forehead before reluctantly giving you the baby back, knowing he has to get back to work.

You don’t mind that Lucifer is busy because, in the moments that you do get with him, he always makes sure to show both of you how much he loves and cares about you.

Though, he tries to hide it in front of his brothers, not wanting them to see how vulnerable he was around the two of you. 

He knew they were just waiting for the chance to use it against him, especially Satan and Belphie.

Mammon is totally clueless when you have a child.

On the inside, he is ecstatic, and no matter what he claims to others, he’s always wanted a child of his own.

But, on the outside, he’s a mess. He doesn’t know the first place to start.

Mammon ended up buying every baby item on Akuzon thinking that the only way to ensure a baby would survive is if they had everything they could ever possibly need.

You had to bite back a laugh when the two of you came home to the House of Lamentation and saw Lucifer standing in the middle of the living room, baby items covering every inch of the room while he was fuming, holding the bill from Akuzon.

After promising Lucifer you would handle it, you had to sit Mammon down and have a very long talk with him where you answered every question he had about parenthood.

After that day, Mammon ended up stepping up to the plate.

He was a great father and always found a way to make both you and your child laugh.

However, you did have to stop him several times from using your baby as a pawn in a get-rich-quick scheme.

He thought they were adorable enough to fool anyone and that they would be able to make anyone bend to their will. 

And if you thought he was overprotective of you, think again. Because he will be ten times worse with your child.

He’ll refuse to let it out of his sight for even a second unless you’re there and he’ll even be wary of his brothers holding your baby.

It’s definitely over the top, but you know that it’s coming from a place of love.

Levi is in a full-blown panic mode when he finds out that you’re pregnant.

Then, after talking to him about it, he calms down and is excited to have a baby with you.

But when you actually give birth and he realizes the baby is here, he goes into full-blown panic mode again.

It’s not that Levi is clueless, he’s just unsure of himself and ends up being awkward around the baby.

He’s scared to do anything with the baby without you, afraid he’ll mess it up.

But after you help him get more comfortable around the baby, he’ll relax into the job.

Levi will have so much fun showing your child all of his favorite animes and teaching them how to play games.

You’ve never seen Levi more proud than the day that your baby pushed a button on his control and ended up killing the boss that Levi was fighting.

Levi paraded them around the House of Lamentation and told every single person he saw about how your child was going to be a gaming prodigy.

You would have thought that Lucifer and Levi switched sins.

Satan was as studious as ever when it came to yours and his child.

He wanted to know absolutely everything he could.

He would know every possible illness the baby could get and every remedy for it.

He would study the best kind of diapers, the most comfortable cribs, the most appealing and educational toys.

Basically, if it is related to your baby, Satan would be an expert on the topic.

But despite doing all the research to make sure your baby was at one hundred percent satisfaction, you had a hard time getting Satan to hold your baby.

Every time you asked him to, he brushed it off or passed the duty along to one of his brothers.

You were starting to feel afraid that Satan didn’t want to hold your baby so you brought it up to him and that’s when he explained his fears of hurting your child.

He was the Avatar of Wrath and he was afraid that if something set him off while he was holding your baby, he would end up injuring them.

You managed to finally convince Satan to hold the baby and you sat with him the whole time.

When you placed the baby in his arms, Satan immediately knew that he would never be able to hurt the little one in his arms.

From that moment on, Satan would refuse to let go ~ even when you need him to.

He ends up being a really amazing father.

There will never be a day that goes by that Asmo doesn’t spoil your child rotten.

Your baby has to have the best of everything and Asmo won’t settle for anything less.

Asmo spent so long perfecting every detail of his bedroom, and he doesn’t spend any less time on the nursery.

He is an absolute perfectionist when it comes to the colors used in the room and what items are placed in it.

Your baby will also be the best-dressed baby in all three worlds. And if Asmo can’t find a suitable outfit for a particular night, he will make it himself.

It wouldn’t be the first time Asmo has made clothing, but you notice that he is much more satisfied with making clothes for your child than for himself or Majolish.

Your child will also be posted all over Asmo’s social media pages and they’ll have fans before they even know what that means.

But, you knew that everything Asmo did was because he was so proud of yours and his child. He just wanted to show the world how your love for each created something so perfect.

When Asmo puts the baby to sleep, he’ll sing it a lullaby, his idol voice ringing out through the House of Lamentation and you’ll notice the look of adoration in Asmo’s eyes as he holds the baby, rocking it gently.

There isn’t anything Asmo wouldn’t give to make sure both you and your baby are always happy.

Beel is the closest to what a normal human father would be like.

The only thing that Beel wants is for his family to be happy and healthy.

And he’ll do everything in his power to ensure both of you are happy.

Beel will shamelessly play with your child in front of everyone.

He doesn’t care in the slightest if he looks vulnerable or silly because it’s totally worth it to him to hear your baby laugh ~ or you for that matter.

Beel has so much fun feeding your child too. Food is one of Beel’s favorite things and he’s so happy when he can share it with his child.

You have to watch him carefully though to make sure he doesn’t try and sneak the baby food that it can’t eat yet.

Beel always looks like a guilty puppy when you have to stop him from sneaking the child a large piece of his meal. 

At the end of the night, Beel will hold the baby close to him in one arm and hold you close to him in his other arm.

Luckily, he’s big enough that you can both easily fit.

This is Beel’s happy place ~ the two of you cuddled into him as he held onto you tightly.

As the child grows, Beel would definitely encourage them to play a sport and then would coach their team.

Belphie will try to act normal around your baby, but he’s actually very overprotective of it.

He refused to let anyone besides you and Beel hold them even though you promised him it was fine.

Belphie will be reluctant to let the baby do anything, not wanting it to get hurt. 

You could see how much love Belphie had for them because whenever Belphie was napping, he would have your baby tucked into his arms, the two sleeping peacefully.

Belphie would always make sure your child had pleasant dreams and if they were in pain from teething he would gently put them to sleep to try and help relieve the pain.

Eventually, you explain to Belphie that the baby can’t just sleep all of the time and that they need mental stimulation so that they can actually grow intellectually.

Belphie doesn’t like the idea of losing his cuddle buddy, but he would never do anything to harm your child so he agrees.

The baby ends up changing Belphie’s life for the better in the sense that Belphie doesn’t want to part from them so he ends up spending more time going out and about instead of sleeping as well.

Of course, Belphie always includes you. Just because he was obsessed with yours and his child, it didn’t mean he was any less obsessed with you.

He couldn’t imagine his life without either one of you. 

[disgracefulthings]

AU where Luo Binghe is actually Shang Qinghua's son. Shang Qinghua has a one night stand with hot demon lord Tianlang-Jun, and the system decides to change up the story to make Shang Qinghua pregnant with the protagonist. Because of this Tianlang-Jun eventually ends up with Su Xiyan, who does not die this time because she isn't pregnant. (She and Shang Qinghua can become friends and does not mind that he is carrying her lover's child). Eventually Mobei-Jun comes into the picture, upset that his servant has been seeing other demons (Shang Qinghua has to reassure him that he's still completely loyal to Mobei-Jun, it's just Tianlang-Jun is really good at the sex. For some reason this does not make things better). Mobei-Jun decides to be the best step dad and tries to out dad Tianlang-Jun (and hints how he could totally be a better lover than he was).

Meanwhile Shang Qinghua tries to avoid the death flags that comes with being the protagonist's mother, and it eventually comes to him being kidnapped by the Hua Huan Palace Master, but he is saved by his new family, Mobei-Jun+Tianlang-Jun+Su Xiyan, and maybe some of his sect siblings because they've learned to appreciate him (and maybe they're a little afraid that the sect might fall apart without him)

And they all live happily ever after!

(Years down the line when Luo Binghe is an adult, and the system decides to spit out Shen Yuan who is very confused with what happened with PIDW. Shang Qinghua is fine with his son falling in love with his favorite anti-fan because he knows no one will love him more than peerless cucumber does)

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

omg I just find you and your writings are amazing♥️

Can you please do some husband headcanons please?

surely, i can try my best, thanks for the ask!!

Husband Headcanons I

for Iruka, Kakashi, and Itachi (with wildcard appearances from Jiraiya and Obito) (GN!Reader)

Your fav isn't mentioned? Check out Husband Headcanons 2!

Warnings: couple swear words, couple sexual references (Reader Discretion advised), fluff, lmk if this sucks

Masterlist💿

Iruka

Would suggest the springtime for the wedding, but Iruka would still happily marry you whenever your heart desired

Danced with you throughout the entire reception, only getting tipsy (enabling you to get comfortably inebriated)

Begs to carry you over the threshold like a gentleman, and the two of you spent the whole night consumating the union

Best sex you had ever had, and Iruka was of the same mind - both of you were totally in your element on your wedding night, and couldn't stop until noon the next day

Honeymoon takes place in the Land of Flowers, within a small settlement near the coast

Iruka pays for a week's stay at an Inn, and the two of you spend the days watching the water and walking through wildflower fields, collecting colourful, fragrant bouquets as you went

Domestically, such a teamplayer - Iruka will happily do the dishes after you cook dinner, and vice versa, he'll mop after you sweep, he turns on lights for you while you open windows

Would happily have a pet, probably a cat (orange or calico), but wouldn't be opposed to something a bit more spunky like a gekko or a rat

Dances with you in the living room while it rains, takes you (and your pet) out in the sunshine - he just loves to spend time with you and be with you

Kakashi

The wedding was small, kept to just close friends and your immediate family, probably just within the courthouse with a nice little reception after

Kakashi would carry you all the way from the reception to your shared apartment, right over the threshold, and it would take only a Hokage-level emergency to get him away from you after

Can't take a very long honeymoon because of his duties as Hokage, but will take you out for a long weekend in one of the coastal villages of the Land of Fire

Despite the long hours he works, Kakashi is the most attentive husband ever

Fresh flowers decorate a crystal vase on the coffee table, replaced every week, the trash is always taken out without you having to ask, he'll surprise you with full breakfasts on the weekends AND do the dishes after

Gets all bubbly every time he hits someone with a my spouse and is constantly bringing you up in conversation just to do so

Many nights are spent cuddling on the couch after dinner, reading independantly

You want a dog? Lovely! Kakashi wants a dog. You want a cat? Great! Kakashi wants a cat. A bird? A snake? A gerbil? Bring it on, that sounds fun.

Such a funny man, still needing to parade around the village with you in his arm, as if not everybody is already aware

Itachi

We're doing an Everything'sFine!AU because I'll cry otherwise

Massive wedding, so many floral arrangements, easily half the village shows up, Itachi cannot stop smiling the entire day

Literally tears up at the altar when he sees you, can't contain himself, you're such a vision

Takes you to the Land of Waterfalls for the most peaceful honeymoon of all

You two spend a week, or two, meditating with each other, drinking special teas, swimming for hours, wrapped in a lover's embrace that knits your hearts together even closer

Of course, in the hustle and bustle of the weekdays, Itachi establishes Saturday as Cleaning Day, and will clean the entire house, top to bottom, by himself (but will very much appreciate any help you provide)

Sunday is the day Itachi reserves to spend with you, either out on the town, or in the house, resting and relaxing together

Compliments every single look of yours as if it's the first time he's ever seen you, Itachi just can't believe his luck, and gets heart palpatations every single time he hears you call him your husband

Gets way more vulnerable after marriage, allowing himself to open up with a different level of confidence

Jiraiya

Destination wedding so people don't want to come, he wants the ceremony to be perfect and intimate

Gets so fucked up at the reception that you have to carry him over the threshold

He's such a sweetie about it when he wakes up though, apologising and fucking you reaaal good the entirety of the next day

Takes you on a month of travel, literally to every single Land

Writes you special poems and stories to wake up to while he's cheffing up the best breakfasts ever

Writes an entire book about you, and it was a best-seller

No one makes a better cup of tea than Jiraiya, and he's always got a tea ready for when you wake up, when you come home, after dinner

The absolute king of being in the same room while doing separate things, you're in his lap or holding his non-dominant hand, and every once in a while you'll share a brief kiss that might evolve into something a bit more distracting

Hugging and kissing as soon as you come home - he missed you so damn bad and needs to let you know

Is a very organized messy, but not at all dirty, Jiraiya doesn't mind when you clean up after him but would honestly prefer you didn't (he can't find things after, even if you tell him exactly where you put things)

Birthdays, Anniversaries, any opportunity to shower you in love and gifts, Jiraiya will take it and run with it

He just adores you and lets everyone know about it

Obito

Goofball gets an Officiant Certification and marries the two of you, himself

His vows are so long and so sweet that you can't even get yours out without stuttering and crying

Obito whisks you away to the Land of Hotsprings for nearly a month, immediately after the rings are exchanged

Finds nothing more fun than going out on dates with you while married, he almost likes it more than when you two were just going steady

Can't stand to let you sleep while he's awake, no matter how poorly he feels about depreiving you of sleep

Kisses and hugs every time the two of you are reunited

Obito won't ever shut up about you when you're apart, and it gets on everyone's nerves but Konan who finds his musings sweet

Lives, loves, laughs domestic life - he will do anything to make you happy, including the most grueling chores (those fucking baseboards)

Always makes you laugh, no matter how you're feeling, and he loves your laugh more than anything

[llamagoddessofficial]

How would the Bad sanses feel about kids?

Horror isn't a fan of how children have a habit of immediately bursting into terrified tears when they look at him. Kinda rude. He copes by deliberately scaring them; if a kid looks at him he pulls his scariest face. Might even say "boo" just for effect. Deep down, though, he does like kids - before it all went wrong in the Underground he used to dream about being an uncle to Papyrus' future children. When he's around you, he catches himself thinking about it... his own kids would like his face just the way it was, wouldn't they? So long as he was a good dad, it wouldn't matter what he looked like. That sounds so wonderful.

If he somehow finds a kid who isn't frightened of him, he will go full papa bear mode. Horror's the most likely of the bad guys to find a lost child and scoop them up.

Dust... avoids children like the plague. He shares Horror's habit of deliberately scaring them. He has a lot of reasons. He's a dangerous mass murderer, that's one; he also doesn't do great with noise. The sound of a crying or shouting child grates at him like nails on a chalkboard. Not to mention the fact that he's had enough of dealing with childish behaviour after a few hours around Killer.

... He also doesn't like being reminded of all the kids that used to live in his Underground. He doesn't like looking at little faces and remembering how Papyrus used to smile at him, the big brother who was supposed to keep him safe, the exact same way. The thing about having high LV is you get very used to being numb... those stabs of emotion, when they do get through, are too much.

He likes seeing you interact with kids, though. You're much better than he is, softer and kinder. Makes him think about what could've been.

Killer is great with kids. He's exciting, he's funny, he's got endless energy. He perfectly channels the 'fun uncle who clearly wants kids and would be an amazing dad', and the presence of children grounds him, taking the edge off of his worse traits and continuously pulling him down to reality. But he's also a terrible influence when left unattended. Give him an hour, and he'll be showing them how to properly hold a knife, telling them how crime isn't really that bad, and that they should totally just bite their bully as hard as they possibly can.

If a child lets him pick them up, Killer will constantly be trying to catch your eye. His huge grin speaks volumes; so when are WE gonna make our own one of these?

Nightmare says he doesn't like children. He definitely acts like it, too, he's cold and intimidating. But deep down, he's always wanted kids of his own - and he's bitter, because before he was corrupted he used to be really good with kids. Dream was (and still is) better at entertaining children but Nightmare could comfort the introverts; shy kids who cried around Dream would happily fall asleep on Nightmare's shoulder. Not anymore.

The thing is... when kids are around him for a while, you'll start to see hints of something underneath the grump. You'll notice he never raises his voice. You'll hear how his tone slips into something stern, yet calm. You'll see the 'strict but fair' edge to his sockets and mouth, you'll notice how despite all the talk of not caring his tentacles will ALWAYS catch anyone whose tiny feet are unsteady. There's a dad under there.

He's in no place for kids right now. But he does think about it - when you're around he thinks far more than he'd ever admit. He imagines giving someone the childhood he never had. If only.