#the details? he would assume that the sex was consensual but not the pregnancy and he would feel conflicted about the possibility of it

[jingyi-ma-boi]

Meng Yao, the raging feral ball of issues that he is, reacts by panicking a lil bit cause FUCK. What do you mean these two now know he’s pregnant? This is exactly what people have always accused him of being —a whore whose achievements are dependent on opening his legs prettily. But also, he’s pregnant??? With Lan Xichen’s pup??? The man that made him feel like he was living in pure marital bliss in the middle of war???

He’s swooning because he knows that he can’t have that child if he wants his plans to go on, but the thought of erasing the only remaining proof of what he had during those days with that perfect, heavenly alpha that treated him as if Meng Yao was the one carved out from the purest jade makes him want to rip his own scent glands off and die choking on his own blood.

Nie Mingjue is frankly very confused about the look on Meng Yao’s face because he thinks he understands the distress that his deputy is feeling but he also knows that there must be a lot he’s missing on. And the souring of Meng Yao’s scent in that moment doesn’t help his confusion and maybe his hurt too, if you want to make this 3zun with a respectfully pining Nie Mingjue which yes, it definitely is like that, please and thank you. Confusion that stops Nie Mingjue from seeing the initial shock and elation that Lan Xichen seems to be feeling at first, after reuniting with the beautiful, strong, and incredibly smart omega that managed to make the best out of the worst moments of his life. And on top of that, it turns out that this precious man that got Lan Xichen’s heart soaring and singing at his every dimpled smile is bearing his child??? He wants to kiss him and scent him so badly and go run to wherever his uncle may be to tell him that he is marrying this man.

And then, he sees A-Yao’s face. And suddenly, he feels like all of the air has been punched out his lungs and he wants to throw up. What if Meng Yao hadn’t actually wanted to share his rut with him? What if it had all been a delusion concocted by his feverish lovesick head? He smells A-Yao’s distress and feels guilty, dirty and has the sudden urge of ripping his robes off, and letting Meng Yao claw at his chest and rip it open, so that he can yank his heart and guts out of Lan Xichen as punishment for his heinous crimes.

A/b/o au in which Nie Mingjue detects a drastic change in MY's scent during the Sunshot Campaign. Such great changes in the scent of an omega are often indicative of their condition: and Meng Yao is revealed to be pregnant.

Not knowing what to do, Nie Mingjue request Lan Xichen's assistance in broaching the subject to Meng Yao. However he fails to tell Lan Xichen exactly who his omegan deputy is.

So, when Lan Xichen realizes it is Meng Yao - the omega that shared his rut with whilst hiding from the Wen- who is pregnant, the only thing he can say is "A-Yao is carrying my child ⁉️"

[scarycranegame]

I’m asking so politely for your theory. I’m so curious bc I ALSO have a theory based on space law so I’m rlly curious if it’s the same/similar

YESSSSS FINALLY I GET TO TALK ABOUT THIS!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ABT THIS DMTRYÓ!!!!!!!!!

anyways. so basically...

(theory under the cut because i dont want this post to be too long ksdjnfsd; also this is technically 2 theories so buckle up, its gonna be a long ride LOL)

there's a policy that a lot of real-would space travel organizations have which dictates you're not allowed to have sex in space due to the risk of pregnancy.

if we assume that this policy has been adopted by pony express, it opens up the possibility that, contrary to popular fandom belief, jimmy didn't rape anya.

this theory also incorporates certain details from the developer q&a, which can be found on the steam announcement page.

in order, here's the theory & my evidence:

anya's unwillingness to feed curly his painkillers is because she's unprepared to care for someone at his level of injury. according to part 1 of the q&a, anya has never been to medical school, and her only training was provided by pony expresss: a company notorious for cutting corners. considering this, i find it perfectly understandable that she'd find it emotionally difficult to literally shove pills down a severely disabled man's throat; especially since he was formerly her superior. it's a reminder of how just one mistake can damage you for life, which fits the game's themes of taking responsibility and putting effort into fixing your mistakes.

anya's general demeanor around jimmy post-crash seems less afraid and more exasperated to me. the way she praises him for somewhat minimal-effort tasks but otherwise avoids him when necessary reads more like she considers it easier to play along with him rather than confront him, since he's already exhibited somewhat unstable tendencies prior to the crash (specifically, his hostility towards curly during the party). related to this point, the q&a reveals that she's read up on psychology during her tenure on the tulpar... but we'll get to that later.

during the first flashback segment, we learn that jimmy doesn't take the psych evaluations seriously. this, to me, indicates an unwillingness to follow company policy, as well as a significant lack of foresight, as at this point none of the crew are aware that pony express will no longer exist as a corporate entity when they return to earth. i mention this because, even if the crew didn't get laid off, jimmy would likely still receive a penalty just for refusing to give honest answers on his psych evals alone (after all, we know how pony express is about punishing their employees).

both anya's and jimmy's remarks during curly's birthday party imply that they're financially struggling. anya states that she has no savings, and jimmy says that once he's laid off, he'll go back to his "struggle of a life". part 3 of the q&a also states that jimmy can't even afford to have hobbies, implying that he's really not well off at all. following this logic, neither jimmy or anya would be able to care for a child.

the scene with swansea and anya in the cockpit, as well as swansea's later reference to it ("anya told [him] a whole lot of things") is interesting. some things to note about swansea are that 1. he's "really into workplace safety" (according to daisuke), and 2. he doesn't think highly of people who let their sexual desires control them or make bad decisions as a result of sexual desire (i.e., his criticism of daisuke's tendency to think with his "downstairs longnose"). if we assume that, considering jimmy's lack of foresight or respect for the rules, he and anya had consensual sex that ended up resulting in a pregnancy which anya told swansea about, it would make sense for swansea to still disapprove of jimmy's actions, as it would be against company policy and an instance of jimmy "thinking with his downstairs longnose" (sorry you had to read that sentence twice).

here's the big one: the dead pixel and anya's observation about locks. lots of people in this fandom forget that you can have consensual sex and regret it later. this scene, to me, represents anya regretting having had sex with jimmy because of the pregnancy. the dead pixel represents her observations in hindsight, and her comment about the lack of locks on the sleeping quarters reflects how she wishes she thought more about her decision and chosen to just sleep instead. additionally, curly's remark about "safety" could have made anya realize that, since jimmy has already proven himself to be unstable, he might do something drastic in response to finding out she's pregnant...

...which is why she hides the gun in the next flashback. when curly confronts her about it, she states that she was hiding the gun from jimmy. while she does mention that she knew curly would "never give her the gun to protect herself" with, i believe that her main motive behind hiding the gun was to protect jimmy instead, for a specific reason...

piggybacking off of the above topic, jimmy's response to anya's pregnancy being so quiet is telling, i think. if he assaulted her, don't you think he would've done more rather than just walk away? wouldn't he have at least told her to make some excuse for him? speaking of jimmy's reaction...

when jimmy speaks to curly just before crashing the ship, it seems more like he's talking about being laid off & penalized for breaking policy as opposed to being arrested. considering the earlier revelation that jimmy is impoverished on earth, it's a much bigger deal to him than it likely is to most of the others on the ship, which is why he decides that the best course of action is to crash the ship. why can't he get another job? we'll get to that right now:

jimmy likely has paranoid schizophrenia. my friend, julian (@saya-sakisaka, who is schizophrenic himself), pointed out to me that jimmy exhibits symptoms that he himself experiences, such as having a generally angry/irritable demeanor and visual & auditory hallucinations for much of the game. furthermore, jimmy's reaction to anya's pregnancy may be due to pregnancy itself being one of jimmy's triggers, which in turn marks the beginning of a psychotic break that lasts for most of the game (as evidenced by much of the more tense/traditionally "scary" gameplay taking place within jimmy's hallucinations, most of which involve some sort of pregnancy symbolism and come directly after jimmy is placed in situations that cause him stress).

something else that julian pointed out to me is that, unfortunately, many paranoid schizophrenics attempt suicide during psychotic episodes. this brings me back to an earlier point in this post: anya may have hid the gun from jimmy in order to stop him from committing suicide, and may have known about his schizophrenia due to her knoweldge of psychology. on that note as well, jimmy may have deliberately lied on psych evaluations in order to hide the fact that he has this disorder (or, alternatively, is in denial of his disorder; both explanations giving a reason for anya to disguise her attempt at protecting jimmy as one at protecting herself), and may have also taken the news that pony express is going under so hard because it would be extremely difficult for him to get another job because of his disorder. after all, in "the last one and then another", it's revealed that jimmy only has this job because of curly.

tl;dr: pony express policy forbids having sex on company ships, and jimmy and anya had consensual sex that they both regret because it resulted in a pregnancy that would be detrimental to both of them because of this policy, their financial situations, and jimmy having paranoid schizophrenia & having pregnancy as a trigger.

[midnightshade]

𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

Deal With the Devil

↷Synopsis: Uro Takako, the leader of the Sun, Moon, and Stars unit for the Toh, is visited by a peculiar man with an even stranger offer

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,541

Warnings: Implied Era Typical Sexism

The Taste of Curses

↷Synopsis: The taste of Curses is an experience only Suguru knows. While he's trained himself to keep them down, some days are harder than others as he's forced to remember during one solo mission.

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,563

Warnings: Vomit

Child of Pyrite

↷Synopsis: Being the Heir and having inherited the Projection Technique, many assumed that made Naoya the golden child of the Zen'in. However, in a family that values power above all else, even those at the top are bound to suffer in a loveless home

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: M

Word Count: 1,514

Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, Depiction of Child Abuse

An Early Birthday Gift

↷Synopsis: For their 11th birthday, Geto decides to get the girls an early gift. However, Nanako ends up getting more than what she asked for.

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 2,184

Warnings: None

A Confession of Love

↷Synopsis: Across the Eras, love confessions stay much the same — an assortment of headcanons and drabbles for mine and my friend's OCs

Pairings: OC x Canon, OC x Gojo Satoru, OC x Sukuna Ryomen, OC x Geto Suguru, OC x Kenjaku

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 4,430

Warnings: OC x Canon, Brief Mentions of Canon Typical Violence

Broken Jade, Scattered Orchids

↷Synopsis: Suguru is stuck in the aftermath of his carnage at the Village, caring for the two girls he rescued

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: M

Word Count: 2,224

Warnings: Mentions of Murder, Canon Typical Violence, Mentions of Child Abuse

The Greatest Curse

↷Synopsis: An Assortment of NSFW and SFW Headcanons of how Kenjaku would be in a relationship

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Kenjaku x Reader

Rating: E (Explicit)

Word Count: 3,373

Warnings: Slight Possessiveness and Controlling Behavior from Kenjaku, Breeding, Pregnancy, Marking, Rough Sex, Mentions of Violence, Exhibitionism, Consensual Noncon, Anal

Kenjaku's Past Headcanons

↷Synopsis: A collection of headcanons exploring Kenjaku's childhood

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 821

Warnings: None

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧'? | Gojo Satoru × Iori Utahime

↷Synopsis: This isn't the first time Utahime has pegged Gojo, but the gift of seeing the Strongest writhe in pleasure from her touch was all she needed for her Birthday. Especially when she can give him a taste of his own medicine.

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: GojoHime, GoUta

Rating: E (Explicit)

Word Count: 1,656

Warnings: Pegging, Not Beta Read, Overstimulation, Anal Fingering

𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬

Exploring the Darker Themes in Jujutsu Kaisen and Their Narrative Importance

↷Synopsis: An analysis exploring the darker subject matter found within the narrative of Jujutsu Kaisen

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: M

Word Count: 860

Warnings: Incest, Misogyny

Kenjaku & His Emotional Attachments: An Analysis

↷Synopsis: An analysis on Kenjaku's emotional attachments and how he responds to them

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 536

Warnings: None

Clearing up Misconceptions about Kenjaku

↷Synopsis: Just as the title says – an analysis post to clear up common misconceptions surrounding Kenjaku

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: M

Word Count: 273

Warnings: Rape

Geto Suguru's Downfall and the True Scope of His Plans

↷Synopsis: An analysis exploring the finer details of Geto Suguru's plans

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 757

Warnings: None

How Cursed Energy Alters the Body

↷Synopsis: An analysis exploring how Cursed Energy alters the human body and a deeper connection between curses and humans

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 503

Warnings: None

Kenjaku's True Form — Theory & Headcanon

↷Synopsis: A theory post regarding Kenjaku's original body

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 624

Warnings: None

Geto is Stronger Than you Think

↷Synopsis: An analysis on the true strength Geto Suguru holds

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 885

Warnings: None

Kenjaku was a Fujiwara

↷Synopsis: A theory and analysis regarding Kenjaku's origins

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 359

Warnings: None

The Lost Potential of Mimiko and Nanako Hasaba

↷Synopsis: An analysis/rant exploring the lost potential of the Hasaba Twins

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Rating: G

Word Count: 713

Warnings: Mentions of Child Abuse/Torture

𝐌𝐲 𝐎𝐂𝐬

Heian Izanami & Izanami Shingetsu (Reincarnate)

Aesthetic Series

Bōkyaku

Aesthetic Series

Kazuhiko

Aesthetic Series

Kikyo

Aesthetic Series

Byakuya

Aesthetic Series

Bashira

Aesthetic Series

Last Updated: February 18th, 2024

©Midnightshade. All rights reserved. Do NOT repost, reupload, or modify my works. Do not translate my works, do not link to them or recommend them on other websites, and do not use them for AI training

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Seeking Advice, Support, Validation

TW: sexual assault, mentions of non-consensual sex and the word associated with it, detailed description of trauma event, mentions of death and dying, ptsd symptoms mention

Hi. I’ve sent an ask in before, and you were so kind and validating then, so I thought I’d post again.

It’s September, now. In a few days the one year anniversary of being gang raped will be here and I am not doing well. I keep having really intense flashbacks and dissociation. I space out while working, driving, interacting with others. I have extra appointments set up with my therapist and she’s assured me she’s on standby should I need her. I have trouble leaving my house. My hyper vigilance is on high alert and I know it’s gonna take time and I know it’s going to take work and I know my avoidance is not making it better.

I’d like to go into detail about the experience in this next space, so tw again…

I had met a guy on a dating app and we talked for almost two months before agreeing to meet. He seemed normal, kind, we had similar world views and interests. I was going on a short trip close to his location and offered a neutral public space to meet. He agreed and we had a good time. It was during the second wave of Covid closures and since we couldn’t eat at a restaurant I offered my hotel suite which had a kitchenette and table. While we were deciding on what to eat we ran into a friend of his and his girlfriend who I immediately got along well with and invited them all up to my room. We ate and played video games. The girlfriend had to go into work and the friend left. The guy asked if it would be ok to make out and I agreed. What I didn’t realize was that as he was leaving the friend turned the security lock outwards so that my door wouldn’t fully close and he could get back in. He returned and together they raped me. While this was absolutely awful and traumatic it was made worse by the knowledge that the friend had contacted several other men who then proceeded to enter my hotel room rape me and leave (some even returning later) over a period of about 8 hours. None of them used a condom and several finished inside me. I was hit, choked and bound several times. No one used lube. Almost everyone was masked due to Covid or at least I assume it was due to Covid but it also served as a deterrent to identifying anyone. I checked out of the hotel. Bought plan b and tried to gather myself on my own, convinced no one would believe me. When I had therapy the next day my therapist was keyed into my discomfort and eventually I told her. My therapist then took me to my ObGyn to make sure I got treated properly. Though I was pretty badly beaten up I still refused to report. My therapist was kind and understanding but I felt bad for dragging her into such a mess. Almost a month later I developed a fever of 106 and couldn’t move. I initially assumed Covid and went to the er. As it turns out I had pelvic inflammatory disease resulting from chlamydia, a uti that had spread to my kidneys and an ectopic pregnancy in which the embryo had formed over the opening of my cervix. I didn’t report while in the hospital because the er doctor was a man who told me I needed to “choose my sexual partners more wisely” and “that guys don’t like girls who sleep around”After minor surgery and three days in the hospital as well as several medications I was referred to another ObGyn who agreed with me or rather supported my decision not to report. I healed up and tried to go back to normal. I couldn’t. My PTSD returned or maybe it was altogether new, with a vengeance. Night terrors, flashbacks, panic attacks, sex repulsion, hyper vigilance, depression, anxiety, the works. I’m scared of every man I even see because I can’t be sure they weren’t there. But I can’t talk about it. Talking about it means I have to admit it happened and it’s not only so shame inducing but I feel absolutely stupid for any choices I made that led to it in the first place. End of graphic description of trauma… safe to read on with original tw in place

AND now my grandfather is in the hospital with an infection in his heart. He is old and was previously doing chemotherapy and his body is just not able to fight it. The doctors have given him days at most.

So my problem is, it seems really selfish and wrong of me to dwell on my trauma when he is going to die. Like at least I am alive and in decent health right? My family is relying on me to take some responsibility for some things while my father is by his dads bedside. And my parents take care of my moms mom so I have picked up any slack there too. I have always been a person who busies themself through grief. But coupled with my spaceiness and dissociation I’m letting them all down. I forgot to give my grandmother one of her medications. I left the dog door open overnight. I didn’t clean up after my grandmothers dinner properly and the dogs got into the trash. I know it seems like little things but I feel like a failure of a human. My family doesn’t know what happened last year. I don’t think they’d take it well and they were never really supportive in the past, claiming my trauma made them uncomfortable and I should reserve it for my therapist. And anyway it seems almost wrong (?) to say “yes I know your dad is dying but I’m dealing with intense ptsd so sorry I can’t help you.” So I just don’t know what to do. I just feel terrible all around. This is the first time I’ve been able to really go through the experience and put it down in words so thank you at the very least for that. I’m sorry it’s so long I’m just really lost and your blog is so validating so thank you. -FK

Hi anon, 

I am glad that you felt like you could write into us again. I am so sorry for all you’re dealing with. Traumaversaries can be so difficult. I am really glad that you have a therapist that is in your corner and my first piece of advice is to take her up on the offer of being on standby if you need her. I also want to say that I am really proud of you for talking to her about this enough that you have extra appointments and that set up. I know it can be so hard but your comfort is important. What you’re going through is a lot and you deserve support.

It’s reasonable you don’t want to tell your family, especially given how they’ve reacted in the past. It seems hard to balance and I’m so sorry for that. But I do want to tell you that you are not being selfish. You are going through a lot of trauma, and the triggering aspect of the anniversary is a really valid really to be having a hard time. It would be valid even without that trigger looming over you. 

I am so glad you had your therapist with you when this all happened and I am beyond angry on your behalf at that doctor who said those things to you. I really don’t think people like him should have doctor’s licenses, and you did not deserve to be treated that way. 

It’s really valid that you aren’t ready to talk about it. Please don’t force yourself because it can be re-traumatizing to talk about it before you’re ready. Having a therapist for this is really good, but for some, it helps to have support of others that are validating. For this, I recommend trying to reach out to a trauma support group whether that’s online or in person. A good one won’t force you to talk about things before you’re ready but having the validation that this support group may give can be so helpful. A lot of times, people that have been through similar will have suggestions and tips that can be helpful too. But for me, it’s the feeling that I’m not alone. 

And I do want to say that to you. You are not alone. I know I’m just some random stranger on the internet, but I am here and I believe you and my thoughts are with you. 

You are not a failure of a human. I promise you that. You are human and you have a lot that you are trying to cope with right now and it’s beyond understandable that you are struggling. 

I also want to say that I am proud of you for putting it into words because that is an amazing step in the direction of talking about it. One of my questions/suggestions for you, is does your therapist know the whole story? If not, is writing it out for her like you did for us here a possibility? Even to copy and paste this ask and show it to her? Her having as much information as possible might allow her to help you more. If you aren’t ready for that, that’s okay. It’s really just a suggestion. 

I believe in you, anon. And you and your feelings are valid. I can promise you that. 

April

[forthisone]

Nick & June tag game

I’m late to the party but I found this and I wanted to answer these questions, so here we are. Sorry, I copied and pasted the questions a while ago and now I can’t remember who to credit. My answers are behind the Read more.

1. What’s your favorite Nick x June scene?

2. At what point while watching the show did you realize you were invested in their relationship?

3. If you hadn’t already read the book and knew they would be a thing. When did you say “Oh yeah, something is going to happen with these two?” Or were you kinda caught of guard?

4. What do you think their relationship means to them? For June and Nick as individuals?

5. What was your reaction when it was revealed June was pregnant with Nick’s baby?

6. What do you think their relationship brings to the show overall? And what are some of the things you love most about their relationship?

7. The nursery scene. Discuss.

8. Favorite June moment on the show.

9. Favorite Nick moment on the show.

10. What scene of theirs do you feel is a bit underrated?

Bonus: Is June cheating on Luke?

1. What’s your favorite Nick x June scene?

So hard to pick. But I think it’s when June tells Nick she is pregnant. His reaction is almost so unexpected (especially in this show) and you see a switch flip in his mind. He goes from pushing her away and being guarded, to fully embracing his feelings for her and the baby in a split second. The look on his face when he says “What?” breaks me and then he sinks down to her and nestles into her. You can see him thinking like “Fuck, I’m so sorry for pushing you away. But I’m here now.” It is just so refreshing to see some affection in this world of horror. He gives June back some hope and some fight too in that scene as I think she is pretty broken mentally with the thought of facing a pregnancy alone. And like someone I reblogged said in a post recently… he sees Serena watching them, and he doesn’t even flinch. YES, NICK.

2. At what point while watching the show did you realize you were invested in their relationship?

I watched Seasons 1 & 2 in a matter of days so it is all a bit of a blur. But I remember a scene that stood out to me when I first watched it was the kiss in 2.07 at the hospital. When Nick says he won’t let anything happen to June and she replies “What about you?” and Nick’s just left speechless and looks overcome and then kisses her, I was gone. I loved it because, to me, it’s him finally getting some real acknowledgement from her that she really does care about him and he’s, like, overcome by that feeling because he hasn’t felt like he means something to anyone in so long. There’s a glimmer of it in the previous episode where she says “I think about [the three of us] too” and “I can’t lose you, do you hear me?” but she’s still quite cold with him, after he tells her he loves her. But in the “What about you?” moment she finally gives in to what she’s feeling and he feels it and it really got me emotionally.

The other moment was probably the scene in 1.10 which I spoke about in my previous answer.

3. If you hadn’t already read the book and knew they would be a thing. When did you say “Oh yeah, something is going to happen with these two?” Or were you kinda caught of guard?

I hadn’t read the book but I have now! Again, it was all a blur when I binge-watched so I can’t totally remember. For some reason, I think I didn’t fully realise how close they get in their scene where he brings her the ice. I don’t think I watched that scene properly; if I had, I think it would have been then. I think I kind of felt something from their very first episode though, in the sense of their first scene (about tuna) being played as if Nick was filling the “love interest”/ eye-candy role (he’s a lot more than that of course but that’s what I clocked at the start). And them staring at each other in the garden, him watching from the stairs, I was definitely intrigued.

And yeah, the sex scene was fiiiiire. So that too. But I guess it was pretty obvious by that point.

4. What do you think their relationship means to them? For June and Nick as individuals?

For Nick, I think it gives him a glimmer of hope, which he hasn’t felt in a long time. He finally has a purpose. He’s been alone for so long and finally he has something in his life that means something to him again.

For June, Nick gives her a much-needed escape from this hell that she is in. He gives her a safe haven. He looks out for her. He helps her to survive. We’ve seen in Season 3 how she isn’t coping without love to ground her in this awful place.

5. What was your reaction when it was revealed June was pregnant with Nick’s baby?

Well, I talked about the actual scene above. So I’ll talk about some other stuff around this...

At first, I was not totally sure why it was just assumed it was Nick’s and any thought of it being Waterford’s was dismissed. I understand why Serena and June think that and want to believe it, but I didn’t understand the 100% confidence as it’s never actually confirmed; it’s not like they do a DNA test. Obviously, as a Nick/June shipper I fully accept that he is Holly’s father and I don’t doubt it, but I just felt like that was handled a bit oddly.

I do also wish we knew how much time passed between Episode 5 (when they started having sex) and Episode 10 (when the pregnancy is revealed). I’d like to know when the baby was actually conceived because I’m weird about knowing details and overly invested. I’ve thought too much about this, but I’m assuming too much time passes for it all to be within one month, personally I think it’s more likely conceived around Episode 8 before Nick breaks it off. I wonder what Serena actually thought about this, because if it’s impossible it was conceived in Episode 5 when she was in the apartment with them (because too much time has passed), then she must realise that they’ve been sleeping together without her knowledge. If so I assume the reason she doesn’t say anything (ie. have Nick killed) is because she doesn’t want the parentage of the baby to be questioned; she wants it to be seen to be Waterford’s and “rightfully hers” in the eyes of Gilead. Or whatever bullshit. Unless Serena arranged for them to sleep together for more than just that first time. But my shipper brain doesn’t like to contemplate that and I think June confirms this when she says in a V.O. “So I’ve gone back to Nick, time after time, on my own.”

6. What do you think their relationship brings to the show overall? And what are some of the things you love most about their relationship?

God, what don’t I love about their relationship?

It’s pretty obvious to me that what their relationship brings to the show is a consensual, loving relationship in a world built around the systematic abuse of women. It’s light in the darkness. Love as an act of defiance. Comfort.

I love how their relationship started off as a flirtation, which then grew into sex and June taking back her sexuality, then they both realise how hard they are falling for each other, then there is a BABY, and what started off as this flirtation is just such a powerful force now (or, was, before he disappeared from Season 3). I love how Nick has gone from this pawn in Gilead with a pretty empty existence to someone who loves this woman so much he will literally do anything for her, even if it’s negating his own self-preservation, as Max said. It shows the power of love.

And another thing that sets them apart for me is their frankly ridiculous chemistry and how hot their kissing and/or love scenes are. Consent, tick. Female empowerment, tick. Fucking hot, tick.

7. The nursery scene. Discuss.

It was a beautiful, beautiful, touching scene. And the subtitles, with Nick whispering “Hey, sweetie” and “You’re really cute” were adorable to me.

I love it but it also scares me that it might be the only truly happy moment they ever get. I am worried the writers gave us that because they knew they were just going to rip it all away somewhere down the line.

As with almost all their scenes, it’s not June telling him she loves him that gets me but Nick’s reaction to it. And also the way he smiles and looks at his new daughter. Honestly, Max is amazing in this show and just needs so much more recognition than he gets.

8. Favorite June moment on the show.

Wow, that’s hard. I think it might be in 1.06 when she has the tremendous courage to tell the Mexican ambassador the truth about her reality in Gilead. And she says “Please, don’t be sorry. Do something.” She was awesome in that moment.

9. Favorite Nick moment on the show.

This is even harder because I literally adore him. Apart from the scenes I’ve already mentioned....

2.09 - his selflessness in this episode is just beyond words, both in the scene with Luke and the scene with June. The way he can’t even bear to look at her as he tells her that Luke loves her and always will and he turns away because his heart is literally breaking, but he still tells her anyway because he’s a good fucking man. God. Max kills it in this scene (they both do, to be fair).

2.12 - the scene with him and Eden in the locker room is heart-breaking and it shows that he’s not only a good person when it comes to June, which I think is important. His relationship with Eden is such a difficult one. As horrific a situation as he was in, as much as he was forced into the marriage, she was innocent and he could have been a lot kinder to her in their conversations in the apartment, but I think the fact that he acknowledges this and asks for her forgiveness, means a lot to her (especially in this patriarchal system) and she forgives him, and she is able to get some closure and peace from that admission before she dies. I think it’s an important scene for Nick’s character and very well acted by both Max and Sydney, so it deserves a mention for me.

10. What scene of theirs do you feel is a bit underrated?

All of their scenes are so amazing, I’m not sure if any is underrated by their fans.

Their scene in 2.03 at the Globe is maybe one. Nicks telling her she may be leaving soon, and it’s better for everyone if she goes. He’s essentially trying to convince her that it’s ok for to leave, even without Hannah, but also without him. Even though it means they’ll probably never see each other again. He does it because he wants her safe. Even though he will lose her.

And the way she hugs him at the end... she knows this may be goodbye. She closes her eyes and leans into him.

Also June’s V.O. at the beginning of 1.08 because it’s showing how much Nick is starting to mean to her and occupy the same mental space as Luke does. “I want to know him, memorise him, so I can live on the image later. I should have done that with Luke, because he’s fading…”

And maybe the cassette scene in 3.05. I don’t think it’s underrated by Nick/June fans, because we’ve clung to all we can this season, but maybe by other fans who don’t appreciate the significance in showing that June loves Nick enough to tell Luke about him, even though it may mean the end of her relationship with Luke. Leading me on to the last question...

Bonus: Technically speaking, June’s relationship with Nick can be classified as an affair because she’s married to another man. Do you see their relationship as June cheating given the unique situation they are in? Or do you feel because of the circumstance they are in, it’s a grey area and as such it’s unfair to classify it as straightforward as June is cheating?

I have rewritten this answer a couple of times. It’s a difficult question. If I put myself in Luke’s shoes? If I found out that my husband, even though he knew I was alive, was still sleeping with and had fallen in love with another woman? And that finding out I was alive hadn’t stopped him doing it? Then, yeah, I’d feel like he was being unfaithful. If I’m honest. I may not blame him, but it would still hurt.

But, the key for me with them is this: to me, cheating implies you are lying to the other person. Crucially, because of the situation June is in, separated from him for years, she doesn’t have the opportunity to tell him the truth. And, actually, when she does have that opportunity (the cassette tape), she does tell him. Straight away. Which is huge. So she’s not lied to him. And that for me means this can’t be classed as cheating. She didn’t choose to be separated from Luke. She was lonely for years, thought he was dead for years, and then she grabbed a chance at love and she fell in love with someone who loves her so much he’d die for her. It’s not like it’s just a fling. Is she just meant to be alone in this hell indefinitely?

[joannalannister]

hi! i know u dont like the tyrion targaryen theory (understandably so), but how do you feel about tyrion having chimerism? (if u dont know what that is, it's when a person biologically has 2 fathers bc a woman had intercourse with 2 men within a short period of time, so the kid would have one mother and two fathers)

Hi! Thanks for asking me! This is a great question, and there are several things to unpack here:

the definition of chimerism and what you’re describing

the claim that Tyrion is a chimera

how this all relates to the Tyrion Targaryen theory

what this all means for Tyrion’s story as a whole

First, let’s define some terms, because what you have described is not my understanding of chimerism. I don’t claim to have extensive knowledge of biology – I’m basing my understanding on things I read in Scientific American, Time magazine, Wikipedia, etc – so if someone more knowledgable wants to correct me where I err or link me to some published scientific articles to help me learn more, it would be most appreciated. 

You seem to be describing superfecundation, not chimerism. Superfecundation results in two (or more) babies, not one. 

Superfecundation is the fertilization of two or more ova from the same cycle by sperm from separate acts of sexual intercourse, which can lead to two babies born at the same time from two separate biological fathers. While possible in humans, it is extremely rare, and most instances in humans occur from artificial insemination. (A technology which Westeros obviously does not have.) Superfecundation results in two babies born together who are half-siblings, meaning the two children have the same mother but two different fathers. I would like to stress that, while technically possible, superfecundity is rare in human reproduction outside of a laboratory. 

Superfecundation is more common in mammals with an estrus cycle (which humans do not experience). Superfecundity is often found in cats. “Superfecundation occurs when a female mates with two or more males. One litter can potentially have multiple fathers as long as they all mate with the female in the optimum time of conception. A single kitten cannot have multiple fathers; each individual kitten in a litter has only one father.” 

In cases of superfecundation, each individual has only one set of DNA. 

A chimera is a person who has more than one set of DNA. The term comes from the mythical Chimera, a mythological creature that is part lioness, part goat, and part snake. Chimerism occurs in humans when:

a twin dies in utero and the surviving twin “eats” / absorbs the other’s DNA. “Most human chimeras were, at one time, twins. Current theories posit that genetic chimeras develop spontaneously when fraternal twin embryos fuse or when one twin absorbs the other. The absorption process is called Vanishing Twin Syndrome, a haunting phrase to describe the ingestion process.“ [x] In natural pregnancies (achieved without the use of IVF), Vanishing Twin Syndrome is estimated to occur in less than 0.5% of pregnancies; it is rare. 

blood is exchanged by twins in utero

a person undergoes an organ transplant, such as a bone marrow transplant [x]

a woman becomes pregnant, and a small number of cells from the fetus migrate into her blood and travel to different organs [x]

the DNA of a child lost in utero is absorbed by the mother, turning her into a chimera “and invisibly altering her body into a kind of living memorial” [x]

From what I understand, you would have to combine superfecundation with Vanishing Twin syndrome to achieve the chimera situation you’re describing. 

Additional articles I found interesting:

“No, women do not absorb and retain DNA from every man they have sex with“

“Here’s why ‘two-dad’ babies aren’t yet a biological reality”

Perhaps I am not looking in the right place, but the only thing I was able to find (outside of reddit) about a woman having multiple partners resulting in a chimeric pregnancy, was a theoretical discussion on a Quora forum, in which it was hypothesized that a superfecund woman had sex with two men in a very short period of time, resulting in two fertilizations (very rare), and during the pregnancy one of the twins was absorbed by the other twin (also very rare), so that the resulting baby was a chimera with two fathers. 

No statistical probabilities were given, but this seems almost statistically impossible to me, even before considering this situation in a world without modern medical technology. 

In Tyrion’s case … If we were to assume both (1) superfecundity and (2) Vanishing Twin Syndrome to create a very, very rare two-father chimera … shouldn’t we see some evidence of Aerys’s DNA, as well as Tywin’s? 

If GRRM wanted us to figure this out, wouldn’t he make it more obvious for us? Aerys had purple eyes, while Tyrion has a black eye and a green eye. Tywin has green eyes. Aerys had silver/silver-gold hair, while Tyrion has white and black hair. Tywin doesn’t have white hair, but Tommen does. Aerys didn’t have dwarfism. Tyrion has dwarfism. Tywin has metaphorical dwarfism. To me, all this simply points to Tyrion having Tywin’s (”real” and literary) DNA. 

(I mean, we’re talking about the author who referenced Olenna’s broken betrothal and “queer” right on the page in ASOS, and we were all trying to figure out for years about Olenna, and it was right there in front of us. GRRM ain’t subtle.) 

So I don’t think that Tyrion is the product of superfecundity and Vanishing Twin Syndrome, both of with would need to occur in order for Tyrion to be a chimera with Aerys as one of his two fathers. Which is very unlikely. 

(More on why Tyrion is not a secret Targaryen and #A plus J does not equal T) 

I am not even 100% certain that Tyrion is a chimera (at least not the medical definition of a chimera). Don’t get me wrong, it’s an interesting theory: Tywin and Joanna conceive a second set of twins (and twins are common among House Lannister!), and one of those twins dies in the womb and Tyrion “eats” it (more cannibalism!) and absorbs his twin’s DNA. It puts an interesting spin on this quote:

Tyrion wondered what it would be like to have a twin, and decided that he would rather not know. Bad enough to face himself in a looking glass every day. Another him was a thought too dreadful to contemplate.

If this Vanishing Twin theory were true, it’s suggestive to me of Cain and Able, a good son and a bad one, and Tyrion has both of them inside him. But as far as ASOIAF theories go, I don’t think this is one that could ever be confirmed, save by word of God, and I’m not sure that GRRM would play into such a strict dichotomy. ASOIAF themes don’t support the idea that evil could be something (or someone) separate from oneself, something Tyrion needed to “absorb”. I think GRRM would be much more likely to say that the potential for evil is inside all of us (without the need of an evil twin) and it’s something we need to fight, constantly. 

So, I mean, it’s interesting to wonder if Tyrion is a chimera! 

But I don’t think he is. 

The only observable characteristic I see that could possibly point to chimerism in Tyrion is his heterochromia (the difference in coloration of the irises, hair, and/or skin). And heterochromia can be caused by many things other than chimerism. 

Heterochromia in infants may be caused by:

Horner’s syndrome

Sturge-Weber syndrome

Waardenburg syndrome

Hirschsprung disease

Bloch-Sulzberger syndrome

von Recklinghausen disease

Bourneville disease

Parry-Romberg syndrome

“Though multiple causes have been posited, the scientific consensus is that a lack of genetic diversity is the primary reason behind heterochromia. This is due to a mutation of the genes that determine melanin distribution at the 8-HTP pathway, which usually only become corrupted due to chromosomal homogeneity.“

Tyrion’s parents were first cousins. I mean, 

Fandom: Incest causes genetic mutations! It’s bad! Won’t someone please think of the children!GRRM: Here is my favorite character, Tyrion, son of Tywin the Incestuous Blood Purity Bigot. I gave Tyrion heterochromia. Fandom: That can’t possibly be due to incest. GRRM: Maybe – just maybe – Tywin’s obsession with blood purity has really fucked his children over in more ways than one. Fandom: …nah. Tyrion is a chimera. GRRM: …is this what you all do in the years between my books? 

When there are both genetic and thematic reasons to explain Tyrion’s heterochromia in the story … well, the idea that Tyrion is a chimera seems a bit overkill. It’s really not necessary to, well, other Tyrion any more than he already is. He doesn’t need all these weird and highly improbable explanations for why he is the way he is.  

(I mean, Euron has heterochromia, and no one is suggesting he is a chimera or a secret targ.) (And I don’t want to know if anyone is; leave me in my ignorance please.) 

In terms of how I feel about Tyrion have differently colored eyes and differently colored hair, I think it is thematic. Like his brother Jaime, caught in an identity crisis halfway down the page of the White Book, halfway between the Lannister shield and the white one … I think Tyrion is caught between the Lannister ideology of dehumanization, greed, lust etc (represented by the green eye, the white blonde hair) and his own humanity (shown to us in those moments when he designs a saddle for Bran, when he speaks up for Sansa, etc, represented by the black eye, the black hair). 

(The interesting thing to me is that unlike most authors, GRRM is using black here to represent heroism and humanity, when that is traditionally represented by the color white. But black is soft, black is enveloping, like a blanket to wrap around you to save you from the icy searing white cold. "By night all banners look black")

The heterochromia is a signpost representing Tyrion’s duality, his potential to go both ways, which I talk about in detail here. 

I hope that helps explain my views, and thank you again for asking!

[i-am-very-very-tired]

I May Destroy You, Part 2: A study of sexual assault - Kwame: Consent and Deception - Lexology

This blog series examines the sexual offences encountered by the main characters in the raw and unflinching BBC series, I May Destroy You. Part 1 considered the experience of the show’s main character, Arabella; this second article looks at the circumstances in which her friend, Kwame, finds himself. The show’s creator, Michaela Coel, explores the dynamic between consent and deceit; a topic that the Court of Appeal very recently considered in R v Lawrence [2020] EWCA Crim 971.

Kwame’s storyline – the facts

Kwame is an openly gay man. He meets a man on Grindr, the dating app. Kwame and his Grindr date meet up and have consensual sexual intercourse. As Kwame is about to leave the flat, his date suggests further sexual activity. Kwame explicitly declines his advances. The date refuses to let Kwame leave, pins him down and sexually assaults him.

Perhaps in response to the trauma Kwame has experienced at the hands of masculine aggression, he decides to experiment sexually with a woman. He meets Nilufer, and the two have sexual intercourse. Afterwards, Nilufer makes a homophobic comment which prompts Kwame to disclose to her the fact that he is gay. Feeling deceived, Nilufer throws Kwame out of her flat. Kwame’s female friends, Terry and Arabella, are unimpressed with his actions and deem them deceitful, destructive and narcissistic.

Did Kwame’s date commit an offence, even though he had consensual sexual intercourse with Kwame a short while previously?

In this scenario, Kwame’s Grindr date committed the offence of sexual assault.

A person (A) commits a sexual assault if:

(A) intentionally touches another person (B);

The touching is sexual;

(B) does not consent to the touching; and

(A) does not reasonably believe that (B) consents.

So far as sexual activity is concerned, consent is defined in section 74 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003 as agreeing by choice and they having the freedom and capacity to make that choice.

Kwame had two separate sexual encounters with the same person, one after the other. It is not in dispute that the first encounter, sexual intercourse, was consensual. It is clear on the facts that Kwame did not consent to the second encounter and that his date was made aware that he did not consent. Just because Kwame consented earlier does not mean that he consented to both acts. It cannot be assumed that consent in relation to one sexual encounter automatically transfers to any subsequent sexual activity. Consent can be withdrawn at any time during sexual activity and each time activity occurs. It is a dynamic act.

Issues of consent become more complex when you consider that, even if person (A) asserts that they were involved in a non-consensual sexual act with person (B), it has to be proved that (B) did not reasonably believe (A) was consenting. Given the intimate nature of sexual activity, there are usually no other witnesses: even having taken all the circumstances into account, the issue is often decided on to one person’s word against another’s as to exactly what happened and whether criminal liability arises.

Did Kwame commit an offence by deceiving Nilufer in relation to his sexuality?

Deceptive actions in the context of sexual relations have the potential to cause some level of harm to the person who has been deceived. However it does not necessarily follow that all deceptive actions or omissions are illegal within our current legal framework.

In the past, the offence of ‘procuring sexual intercourse with a woman by false pretences or false representations’ existed under section 3 of the Sexual Offences Act 1956; if that law was still applicable, it may have criminalised Kwame’s deceptive sexual behaviour under UK law. However, this offence was repealed (and not specifically replaced) by the Sexual Offences Act 2003. The issue of deception, false representation or deliberate omission in the context of sexual encounters has in recent years become a hot topic of discussion amongst legal academics, in popular culture (such as this TV series) and also in the courts.

There are limited circumstances where certain types of deception can be considered so integral to consent so as to vitiate (remove or undo) consent, such as ‘stealthing’ (the removal of a condom without a sexual partner’s knowledge), considered in Part 1 of this blog series.

The Court of Appeal handed down a judgement in a case, R v Lawrence [2020] EWCA Crim 971, as recently as 23 July 2020 on the topic of deception and lies, which provides further guidance on the circumstances where deception cannot be considered to legally vitiate consent. That case turned on the fact that the appellant falsely represented to his sexual partner that he had had a vasectomy. On that understanding, she agreed to unprotected sexual intercourse when otherwise she would have insisted that he wear a condom. He was convicted of rape by a jury on what appears to be the basis that she was denied the opportunity to make a fully informed decision about the risk of pregnancy which was an explicit factor in her consent. The Court found that the lie about fertility was not capable of negating consent and quashed his convictions relating to the fertility lie. The Court of Appeal noted that in circumstances of express deception or failure to disclose, “[the] issue is whether the appellant’s lie was sufficiently closely connected to the performance of the sexual act, rather than the broad circumstances surrounding it.”

In this case it was the consequences of the sexual act that was agreed to that had changed (i.e. the risk of pregnancy), not the act itself. The Court set out the narrow circumstances where the current law recognises that a deception of this nature extinguishes consent so that it has the potential to be rape. These include where there is a deception as to whether ejaculate will be despotised inside the other person and a deception as to the identity (including sex) of the other person (the latter of these perhaps being particularly difficult to reconcile with modern life).

It is highly improbable that Kwame’s deception would be found to be sufficiently closely connected to the performance of the sexual act, and as such he cannot be deemed to have committed a criminal offence, albeit his actions may be frowned upon by some from a moral and ethical perspective. The criminal law is not yet so sophisticated as to be able to navigate the minutiae of intimate relationships. It acts perhaps as a bright line dictating the minimum requirements that have been agreed by us all rather than a gold standard. A public debate that might lead to legislative clarity in this area would be welcomed by many. The Court of Appeal has made it abundantly clear that this is the way forward as opposed to Judges extending the law in their decisions.

There is no legal requirement to positively disclose anything, or anything truthful, by way of personal details to a potential sexual partner. Kwame not being upfront with Nilufer in relation to the status of his sexuality raises questions about the extent to which we are morally obliged to disclose information, such as sexual history, sexual orientation, sexual health etc... But where do we draw the line? It perhaps lies somewhere between what our individual sense of morality dictates us to disclose, and what we want to know before we consent to a sexual activity. But, as with anything intimate that involves two adult individuals, such a line can easily be blurred in the heat of the moment.

[sirost1-blog]

Second Half of the Semester Highlights...

Module 5: Sexual Health

Sexual health is a crucial field of knowledge that everyone should place importance on. Without this knowledge, we would continue to lose people at a high rate due to infections and diseases such as HIV/AIDS. An article that spoke to me from this module was written by Maanvi Singh, and is titled “Sex Ed Works Better When It Addresses Power In Relationships”. This article spoke to me because it gave me immediate flashbacks to my experience during sex education. I was in 6th grade and attended a relatively large public school in Southern California. We used one of our class periods to have our gym teacher and regular teacher talk to us as a class, so we remained in our classes of 35 kids or so, we were not brought into an auditorium for an assembly or anything. Although I cannot remember the exact words, I can remember the topics talked about, and more importantly, wasn’t talked about…

We were given a brief talk about the anatomy of a vagina and penis as our teachers pinned some basic anatomical posters on the wall of each of the body parts. They described to us what sex was, and that pregnancy could be a result if we didn’t use protection. For some reason they really pushed the idea that pregnancy would result if we didn’t use a condom, there was little to no mention of birth control, and absolutely no mention of an IUD- but perhaps that’s because this discussion was practically a decade ago. As I stated above, I remember what we weren’t told, and what I wish I was told about sex. I wish they would have told us girls that it hurts. I wish they would have taught us about consent. Simply educating us on the physical motions of how sex works only prepares us for a tiny bit of what sex actually is. I wish they would have told us to wait for the right person, and to not be in a hurry to lose it. I wish they would have told us that it is okay if you are homosexual, and what you are learning about right now

might not pertain to you as a result.

As I read through this article by Maanvi Singh, it pulled me back into that classroom on the day of sex ed, and started answering the questions and giving me the information I wish I would have learned in sex ed. Through skimming through the article I realized that I didn’t want traditional sex education, I wanted empowerment based sex ed. Singh tells us that, “Knowing how to communicate and negotiate with sexual partners, and knowing how to distinguish between healthy and abusive sexual relationships, are as important as knowing how to put on a condom” (Singh 2015). In the article we are walked through how one of these empowerment based sex ed classes work. Children (age unmentioned) are taught the basics of sex ed: contraceptives, disease prevention, and anatomy. But then, they segway into a topical discussion about how to talk about safe sex with their partners, especially if they are in a relationship where they may be in a dis-empowered position. Singh goes into detail about the program when she says, “They play out, for example, how do they negotiate with their sex partner, particularly if they’re in a dis-empowered relationship, and maybe their boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom and is threatening to leave, to hurt her… The goal is to help young women feel empowered to ask for what they want from their sexual partners. And to feel good about themselves, so if they decide they want to be assertive with their partner, they can do that” (Singh 2015).

I have considered being an educator, and if I don’t end up loving what I do with my Communication and Organizational Leadership degree, I am not afraid to go back to school and pursue a career in education. Therefore, if I ever go into a field of education, I can use this information and reference my poor experiences with sexual education to bring a better place of education for children in the future. Chances are that the kids I sat in sex ed with have experienced abusive relationships, and have not been taught on how to bring about a better power dynamic within a relationship. After all, a study by Huffpost states that, “nearly 60 perfect of young women have experienced abuse” (Glamour 2011). Additionally, Safe Horizon argues that “1 in 7 men are in abusive relationships” (Safe Horizon 2019). With these statistics in mind, I plan to use this information in the future to not only educate children if I go into a field of teaching, but to encourage those in my life to make sure that their relationship dynamics are healthy, and to encourage a conversation about safe, consensual sex.

_______________________________________________________

Module 6

This module was centered around the topic of Disability, Aging, and Sexuality. It was here that we gained a foundational understanding for disability, both as a theory and as a concept that we will all one day have to deal with. We were then educated on the definition of ageism, and applied this concept to the popular show of Grace and Frankie.

My favorite part of this module was writing and responding to other peer’s discussion board posts. After watching the assigned episodes of Netflix’s Grace & Frankie, many stereotypes about women aging and their sexuality were brought to light. It was a shock to me that one of the first examples of the two women being shamed for talking about their sexuality came from someone super close to them- their own children. Grace’s daughter went as far as to call the two “filthy women” for engaging in a conversation that I guess Grace’s daughter deemed to be too young of a topic for them to still be allowed to discuss. It also appeared that our discussion about the topic of constructionism could be looped into these episodes of Grace and Frankie. Social constructionism discusses shared concepts of reality, whereas age-constructionism happens as people develop stigmas of the older generation as a whole, rather than examining the behaviors and attitudes of elders as individuals. This is exactly what the women’s children were doing by condemning them for talking about their sex lives; they just assumed they were just a couple of old ladies too old for that talk, and didn’t stop to think about their mothers desires and feelings.

One of the most important concepts I took away from this module and included in my discussion was the concept of “fearless aging”.  As Health Gerontologist Pat Sanborn puts it, “everybody is aging, and it’s better not to have a fear around it” (Sanborn 0:37). Sanborn explains to us that, “When people are looking at the opportunity for fearless aging, they are considering options, they are gaining insights, and they are helping other people and they are not buying into ageism” (Sanborn 1:15). In the case of Grace and Frankie, Frankie continuously reminded, and taught her friend Grace that she still has an entitlement to enjoy her sexuality, regardless of her age, or what others have to say. It was also really inspiring to watch the show and see these two women continue to gain insight and want to help other women as they get into the vibrator business and even make their own lube. My goal for society is that we too can one day practice fearless aging, like Grace and Frankie. We should all be aiming to end the stigma that sex has to stop at a certain age! As I take what I have learned from this module outside of class, I want to first start by reminding my Grandmother that she is not defined by her age (which is 83). I know that she has struggled in the past with slowing down because she doesn’t want to be labeled an “old lady”, so I will remind her that that term, at least within our house, does not have to be a derogatory term. I will also make sure to encourage those around me way down the line to “go with the flow”. As Pat Sanborn states, age is something completely natural, so we should not be condemning ourselves for letting nature take its course!

_______________________________________________________

Module 7

Our last module revolved around the topics “Pornography, Erotica, Pleasure, and Resistance” (Watson Module 7). Our goal by the end of reading through and interacting with the module was to be able to connect how resistance plays a role in women’s sexuality, especially when it comes to marginalized groups. We were also tasked with gaining an understanding the role of intersectionality, which is looking at categories like sex, gender, race, and class, and applying them to an individual group to see if they create any overlapping or interdependent cases of discrimination or advantage.

In this module, the piece that stood out to me the most was a TED Talk by Christopher Ryan titled, “Are we designed to be sexual omnivores?”. It is here that Ryan examines the extent of our sexual nature all while relating it back to our origins, and argues that humans shouldn’t penalize themselves so heavily for their natural desires. Ryan first talks about the agricultural revolution. Before that time, we were foraging, and sharing all that we had, making sure that the women and the children came first. In a way, these items (meat, shelter, protection) were all being traded in exchange for women’s sexual fidelity. As he analyzed this sharing behavior, he related it back to sexuality. He states that, “human sexuality has essentially evolved, until agriculture, as a way of establishing and maintaining the complex, flexible social systems, networks, that our ancestors were very good at, and that’s why our species has survived so well” (Ryan 1:07).

Another common occurrence within relationships nowadays is the concept of monogamy. For some it is something that they actively seek out in a relationship, and for others it is considered a deal breaker if their partner desires it. And, although it has become common within our society to seek our monogamy, Ryan argues that it goes against our ancient desires, since we are so closely related to chimps and bonobos. He paints for us a picture of his parents; they have been monogamously married for 52 years! But does that mean that the exchanging of wedding vows was also an instant repellent of attraction for people outside of his parents marriage? No. Chances are his father sees hot women in the streets and has occasional fantasies, or his mother goes to see a movie and falls in love with the lead role actor. This is because human’s don’t stop desiring sex with others just because they have a commitment to one another. As Ryan puts it, “to argue that our ancestors were sexual omnivores is no more a criticism of monogamy than to argue that our ancestors were dietary omnivores is a criticism of vegetarianism. You can choose to be a vegetarian, but don’t think that just because you’ve made that decision, bacon suddenly stops smelling good” (Ryan 4:57).

Ryan further argues his point that humans are sexual omnivores when he brings up the topic of female menstruation. He states that, “humans are among the only species on the planet where the female is available for sex throughout the menstrual cycle, whether she’s menstruating, whether she’s post-menopausal, whether she’s already pregnant. This is vanishingly rare among mammals. So it’s a very interesting aspect of human sexuality” (Ryan 5:47). It is very hard to argue his point when evidence is brought about like this. If we were not designed to be sexual omnivores, we would not be so sexually active, and our bodies wouldn’t be designed to be capable of such great sexual activity. After all, Ryan told us that the average human has sex roughly 1,000 times per birth. Meanwhile, other typical mammals like gorillas and orangutans have sex only roughly 12 times per birth. He wraps up his point by urging us to move away from the classic saying “men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Because, the reality of this situation is that, “men are from Africa and women are from Africa” (Ryan 11:44).

This talk spoke to me so greatly because I really feel it as though it will help me with my relationships moving forward. Ryan talks about how families are continuously ruined by our false vision of human sexuality, all because we have engineered this idea that monogamy ultimately ends our sexual desires for others, while our history does nothing but strengthen our sexual desires beyond those who we are in a relationship with. Moving forward, if, say, for example, my parents were to get into a fight because my dad looked at a lady in the parking lot for a little too long, I will aim to understand his sexual nature rather than retaliating with a comment such as “ew, gross, you’re married to Mom!”. In the end, your relationship status doesn’t end your sexual desires, and we should stop making it seems as though it does. Like Ryan said, when someone becomes vegetarian we do not assume that bacon stops smelling good to them- so we need to end this mindset and false assumptions about the aftermath of monogamy.

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                                                  Works Cited

Ryan, Christopher. “Are We Designed to Be Sexual Omnivores?” TED Talk, Feb. 2013, https://www.ted.com/talks/christopher_ryan_are_we_designed_to_be_sexual_omnivores.

Glamour. “Shocking Number Of Young Women Have Experienced Relationship Abuse.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 17 Nov. 2011, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/glamour-relationship-abuse_n_857472.

“Domestic Violence Statistics & Facts.” Safe Horizon, https://www.safehorizon.org/get-informed/domestic-violence-statistics-facts/#our-impact/.

Singh, Maanvi. “Sex Ed Works Better When It Addresses Power In Relationships.” NPR, NPR, 17 May 2015, https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/05/17/407063066/sex-ed-works-better-when-it-addresses-power-in-relationships?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20150517 https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/facts-american-teens-sources-information-about-sex.

Sanborn, P. (Director). (2017). Fearless Aging - What is Ageism? [Motion picture]. Vimeo. Retrieved from https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/attitudes-about-sexuality-and-aging.

Kauffman, M., Morris, H. J., Fonda, J., Tomlin, L., Taylor, T., Weinstein, P., Goldberg, D., Ellison, D., Ross , M., Junge, A. (Producers), & Kauffman, M. & Morris, H. J. (Directors). (2016). Grace and Frankie [Video file]. Retrieved from http://www.netflix.com